#Tech Noir is always better than I remember it being

[vixovavalentine]

Entombed (Part 1)

"I remember a time, when things didn't seem so dark. When I was genuinely excited to see where I'd end up. Now... everything's changed. Or is it me? Is it me that's changed?"

"As much as I wish I could tell you that this is some kind of breakthrough, this is what our line of work is or maybe this is just what growing up is."

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This is a random drabble Jujutsu Kaisen Fic. I DO NOT OWN JJK OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS! (EVERYONE IS AGED UP TO BE AGE APPROPRIATE....FOR SCIENCE....AND LEMONS)

INC. (Fluff, Angst, Death, Gore, Depression, Anxiety, (maybe lemons later ..hueheuheueheue)

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Today was your first day at Jujutsu Tech and all you could do was walk in circles in front of what was suppose to be where you were meant to meet Ijichi, your escort to your new school. You hadn't really been in the world of Jujutsu long, only recently discovering your ability to see curses; and in the incident where you encountered your first curse, you screamed and hit it with a frying pan in your cramped apartment until a white haired man with a blindfold showed up at your door asking if you'd seen a three eyed slug looking creature around. Talk about an introduction... What really stuck with you besides the fear of some weird mutated creature slunking around your apartment, was when the white haired man told you that you're whole life was about to change.

Now days later here you were. Anxious, excited, nervous, the whole nine. If someone had told you a week ago curses existed and that you were "special" enough to see them. You'd have thought that the world was going crazy, but you couldn't get the picture of the creature out of your mind. Or how the white haired man with that blindfold so easily destroyed it before your eyes. The proof was there, it was real and you were about to enter into a world where that would be your everyday occurrence. Fighting monster slugs? Defending the innocent? You'd always daydreamed of being a hero and just maybe this was your wish come true.

Per the letter you were sent by Principal Yaga, you were told you to meet a man named Ijichi here at the Café Noir at 7:15 Sharp. Yet, it was almost 7:20 and your anxiety began to fill your head with anxious thoughts.

"What if I'm not in the right place? No, That's impossible. This is the only Café Noir in Tokyo!" you mumbled to yourself.

Checking the letter, then your phone, you realized that the address was correct. Did you miss him? Looking around, there were no cars coming your way or even parked in the street. Just normal people walking to work or into the Café you stood outside of. You sighed feeling your stomach drop. What if this was some mistake? You took one last look around and checked your time on the phone. 7:28. Still no cars. Still nothing. You debated standing outside longer but were interrupted by the growling in your stomach. You'd decided to for-go breakfast from the nervousness you were feeling and now you were borderline starving. Taking one last look around you sighed and decided maybe getting a coffee and something to eat in the café would be better than just standing outside looking like someone who'd been stood up by a date.

You made your way into the café and ordered a coffee and a croissant, then sat yourself at a table by the front window. Maybe this was all just some big fever dream?

"Please don't tell me I'm going crazy. I know it was real." you whispered to yourself.

The letter in your hand proved it. Nibbling your warm buttery croissant you noticed something out of the corner of your eye. A lanky black haired man and a tall handsome blonde haired man entering the café. Both so professional looking; The blonde in a cream colored business suit with a yellow and black tie and the other a normal black business suit.

I wonder...Nah. you thought to yourself.

"Being on time is part of the job. Regardless of what Gojo told you, a new student takes priority over all other matters." The blonde scolded his companion.

"Ye- Yes but you know Gojo... He's.."

"I don't care. Now we don't know where she is, and that's a problem. She can see curses now. She's vulnerable. We have to find her and take her to a school before she runs into something she can't handle on her own. According to Gojo, she used a frying pan to try to fight a curse, a small one mind you. But if she runs into anything more than a small creature she could be killed."

You nearly spat out your coffee.. No way..

"Ijichi... call Gojo and ask where y/n lives. She might have gone home. We need to find her. Now."

"Wait!" You shot up out of your seat without realizing how loud you were being. "I'm here! You're looking for me. I'm Y/N!"

At that moment your bundle of nerves and anxiety seemed to get the better of you and as you moved towards the two men you stumbled forward losing your balance and almost colliding with the blonde man, who caught you by your shoulders and gazed down at you.

"Your Y/n?" He asked plainly. Gazing down at you. Gosh, you hadn't realized how tall he was until you were in front of him his broad and muscular hands still holding you up by your shoulders.

"Ye-Yes. That's me. I was waiting at the door but no one came and I have this letter." You mumbled out nervously and shoved the letter towards the blonde. Reluctantly the blonde took your letter and scanned it for a moment then adjusted his glasses which at first you didn't notice to be so odd. But they were. Almost more than an accessory.

"I see. Good to meet you, Y/n. I am Nanami-san and this is Ijichi-san. We apologize for the delay. It's good we didn't have to go looking for you." Nanami turned toward Ijichi and nodded to him. "Ijichi, get the car, and Y/n let's discuss our matters further on the way to Jujutsu Tech away from an audience.." Nanami seemed to notice the Café patrons taking interest in your meeting and ushered you out the door.

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The ride to the school was filled with Nanami-san explaining to you the general life of Jujutsu. You were informed that he would be one of your teachers, and that learning all you could in your first year was crucial. He told you how he'd seen many come to the school with the same fire as you had, wanting to be the hero only to die from lack of training or simply making a stupid move. That made a lump form in your throat. Surely it wasn't that dangerous? What about the creature from your apartment? It seemed so weak and small? Maybe he was just trying to scare you? You thought. But the man's demeanor told you inside that he wasn't. This was just apart of this new life.

"I deal in facts Y/n." Nanami sighed and adjusted his tie sensing your slight weariness. "I won't gloss over this. Take your training seriously."

That's when you realized the car had stopped and you had arrived. "I'll let the others fill you in on the rest. Welcome to Jujutsu Tech. I'll see you for class." Nanami exited the vehicle and came around to open your door. That's when you realized. This really was a whole new ball game.

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After speaking with Principal Yaga, you were shown your dorm and told you'd be meeting the other teachers and taking your first classes first thing the next morning. It was strange. Just last week you were normal. Now here you were. On a bed that felt like it wasn't your own. Surrounded by boxes from your apartment that you had yet to unpack. It felt unreal. You glanced at your phone. 5:17PM Had the day really gone by so fast? Sitting up in your bed you decided to unpack what you could and change into something comfy. A oversized mauve sweater and some black leggings called to you. Feeling comfy you began to unpack your various personal items. Toiletries, Clothes, small decorations of dried flowers, some snacks you had stored away. Everything else could live happily under your bed or in your closet to avoid clutter. After a while you were satisfied with how cute your room looked and how everything seemed to come together. Looking at the time again, you noticed it was 7:52 and almost conveniently your stomach growled.

"Oh shit. That's right. Dinner." You mumbled.

Normally you'd just pull a cup of noodle night but the inner foodie in you was curious of the cuisine at this "hero school" when you found out they had a cafeteria. You had been told the cafeteria was near by the dorms so you made your way there. You had walked a bit until you reached the large sliding doors to with what sounded like cheerful voices on the other side. Opening the doors you stumbled onto two men who looked like they were having their own dinner when you realized one of them was familiar.

"Itadori!!!! These Meatballs are so delicious!" A white haired man in a blindfold cheered to a Pink haired boy.

"Gojo Sensai These are easy to make even Megumi can make them." The Pink haired boy popped a meatball into his mouth almost comically.

You stood there feeling a little nervous, half wondering if you should let the two men be until the White haired man noticed you. That's when you realized... This was the same white haired man that destroyed the curse in your apartment.

"Huh." He scanned you, then smiled almost as big as a cheshire cat. "Well! If it isn't my new student! Didn't think I'd get to see you until tomorrow. I heard you had spend the day with Nanami and Yaga getting settled. What a bore." He popped a meatball in his mouth and got up making his way toward you.

You smiled politely still a little nervous. So this was your teacher.. You looked him up and down and noticed that he seemed... eccentric. What is with the blindfold? you wondered. The pink haired boy got up from his seat and came over as well.

He was still chewing when he reached you. Swallowing his food, he continued. "I already know your name Y/N. Well, everyone does. I told everyone all about the curse you tried to kill with your frying pan. Boy the laughs we got out of that."

You felt your face flush. "Oh that.. Yeah.."

Sensing your embarrassment The white haired man chucked. "Don't worry, if anything I told them about how fearless you were. You practically had that thing handled."

The pink haired boy stood looking confused. "But Sempai I thought you said she was like a cartoon trying to smash--" The white haired man bonked the pink haired boy on the head in the middle of his sentence. " Nonsense. It was so brave for your first curse but moving past that... I never introduced myself to you!" The white haired man clapped his hands together. "I am Gojo Sensai! Your magnificent handsome Sempai." He pointed to himself proudly. Oh boy... You thought. This was your teacher? Where was the other guy? Nanami? He seemed a bit more what you were expecting... Professional... Handsome...

The pink haired boy rubbed his head and smiled at you. "I'm Itadori. Nice to meet you Y/N. Boy will Nobara be happy to have another girl first year around. I bet she's tired of just hanging around me and Megumi."

"Someone said my name?" A small voice came from behind you and when you turned a tall boy with black spikey hair stood unamused.

"This is Megumi!" Itadori reached around you to wrap an arm around Megumi's shoulder his smile seemed the opposite of Megumi's scowl. "Another first year." Gojo commented. As you turned to Gojo you noticed his demeanor changed slightly. He was no longer cheerful and silly. Just standing there smiling and even though you couldn't tell from the blindfold you thought you could feel Gojo eyeing you. Almost the point of it making you nervous.

"It's nice to meet all of you; Gojo Sempai, Megumi, Itadori." You smiled trying to ignore the feeling the being thoroughly analyzed. "I'm new to all this so bare with me a bit huh?" Megumi took a step forward shrugging off Itadori's arm and held his hand out to shake yours. "Nice to meet you Y/N. I hope we can learn something from each other."

Well, at least Megumi seems somewhat nice. You smiled and shook his hand. Then a loud growl protruded from your stomach. "Ooof. Sorry, I forgot I came here to get some dinner.." You shrugged a tad embarrassed.

"WE HAVE MORE MEATBALLS!" Itadori yelled happily and ran back to his table to get a plate ready for you.

"Sounds great I'm starving!" You smiled. Making your way towards the table you took a seat between Itadori and Megumi as he served you your plate. Taking a bite out of the delicious juicy meatball you squealed. "This is amazing." It was exactly what you needed and hit the spot straight away but as you ate you realized Gojo Sensai hadn't come to sit with you all. Gojo had turned to face all of you, but hadn't said anything or come back to eat. He just kind of stood there facing you all smiling. Wonder what his deal is? You wondered.

You turned your attention to Megumi who told you Itadori taught him to make these and that they were easy to make. "WE'LL HAVE A CONTEST!" Itadori cheered. "Y/N WILL TELL US WHO'S MEATBALLS TASTE BETTER! RIGHT GOJO SEN-"Itadori cut off his cheer when he noticed Gojo had gone.

"Huh. Where did Gojo Sensai go?" He blinked. No one had noticed him leave and he didn't announce his departure. You three sat for a second when Itadori broke the silence. "Well, we'll still have that contest!" He smiled and all you could do was nod and notice the slight peculiarity.

After dinner you all parted ways, still not seeing Gojo. You laid in your bed drifting to sleep wondering about everything that you'd encountered that day, wondering what tomorrow would bring..

[i-watch-too-many-movies]

5 Favorite First Viewings of July 2021

Quick note: Hi everyone, I'm back, things have honestly been getting better for me, and I'm glad to be on this site full of cinephiles, people that are too horny, and cinephiles that are too horny. I'll be more active on here. But anyway, let's talk about some movies.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) (dir. Russ Meyer)

CW: Abortion mention

What a picture. What a gorgeous, sexy, horrifying slice of what Hollywood and star life can do to a bunch of bright-eyed young people looking for success. Also is a critique of how macho nature can ruin friendships and romantic relationships with total ease. I was obsessed with the scene transitions, like Pet pouring pancake mix onto a plate after the abortion scene, or Kelly singing after someone screams before their murder in the opening scene.

Great, campy flick with exceptional music too.

Deep Cover (1992) (dir. Bill Duke)

Laurence Fishburne plays Russell Stevens, a Cincinnati police officer who hopes to do well by the community, to make a difference. He’s traumatized by the death of his substance-abusing father, and wants to make sure that he can help the people of his own town. He goes undercover on assignment as a drug dealer, where his boss orders him to take down the kingpin. Stevens realizes the police’s own failings while on assignment. The racist abuse he takes from Agent Carver, and the realization that the police department is protecting drug kingpins like Gallegos and Barbossa. Giving drugs to Black kids and Latinx kids so there will be less of them. The cops are no different than the drug kingpins looking to make filthy amounts of money.

Fishburne’s performance is excellent, as Stevens feels he has to maintain a stone face so he doesn’t get caught by Jason or Barbossa or any of his cronies, but also he maintains a stone face to try and hide his emotion, his trauma. But when he gets pissed, Fishburne acts it beautifully, as is when he has to deliver a funny quip to counter Jason’s douchebaggery. And the production design, holy fuck, the sets and the lighting.

A perfect neo-noir for the HW Bush years, arguably one of the most timeless commentaries on the era, as well as the police as a whole.

Fast Five (2011) (dir. Justin Lin)

I was torn between including this or Furious 7, but I ultimately went with Fast Five because it felt like an important turning point in the series, it's a great heist film, and it reached the same chaotic highs and genuinely excellent filmmaking that I had been waiting for since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift.

Fast Five opens where Fast & 4ious left off. Dom is hauled away to prison on a bus. Mia and Brian drive in their high-tech cars and knock the bus over, helping Dom escape. The title drops. Fast Five. It’s such an intense yet short action scene, and dropping the title immediately after it lets the viewer know that this movie is not fucking around. It’s arguably gonna be more intense and insane than the previous one.

And it is. The filmmakers made the decision to use a lot more practical stunt work for the film, and as a result, it leads to, so far, the best action in the entire series, since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift. It’s not just how it’s shot or edited, it’s the geography of the locations, the rooftop chase echoes the rooftop chase of Jackie Chan’s masterwork Police Story, particularly the way each character bounces from top to top.

And of course, there’s the silliest moment in the movie, the one that matches the intensity and kineticism of a film like 2 Fast, which is driving the Reyes’ bank vault throughout the street, getting chased by corrupt cops.

I know we make fun of Vin Diesel for saying “family” all the time in these films, but there’s a reason we remember him saying all of these impassioned monologues. Because he’s unbelievably sincere, and has so much love in his heart for every single person in the room. Anytime he delivers a speech to any of them, it’s genuinely heartwarming.

This is the film that finally shows La Familia in their best environment, which is working together, in a movie genre that allows them to work together, which is a heist film. And a great one at that.

Last Days (2005) (dir. Gus Van Sant)

CW: Mention of suicide

Several films have been made about legendary rock artist Kurt Cobain, and for good reason. He is one of the most tragic figures in rock and roll. A tortured genius who has written and performed classic song after classic song with his band Nirvana. He was called the voice of a generation, and helped change the face of mainstream alternative rock music as we know it. But with that fame, and all of those expectations came a worsening depression and further drug abuse, and his eventual death. But most of the films about Kurt Cobain ask one question which gets under my skin way too much:

“Who REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY killed Kurt Cobain?”

It was him. He did. And it’s okay, I’m sad too. Thinking that Kurt Cobain was murdered is completely ignoring the depression that he faced. And despite Last Days being more inspired by the death of Cobain rather than actually about it, it feels much more honest than the conspiracy documentaries on his death, wanting to leech off of his dead body.

This is the last installment of Gus Van Sant’s “Death Trilogy”, the previous two installments being Gerry (2001), and Elephant (2003). While I have not seen Gerry, I have seen Elephant though, and love that film for its minimalist, raw nature, and its boldness for not romanticizing the school shooter or the lives they had taken. Last Days falls into that trap once, as I don’t agree with the shot of Blake’s soul climbing up a ladder, that always struck me as cheesy in a film that is anything but.

Last Days is similar to Elephant in terms of the way it is filmed. Its usage of long takes, and still shots of characters doing various things, such as Blake playing his guitar behind a drum set. The way these moments are shot is similar to a Chantal Akerman film, particularly Jeanne Dielman. Where the acts of the mundane are the stars of the film. Blake wanders around an empty house, and the viewer can feel the pain, not just through Michael Pitt’s acting, but from the house itself. Its decay, its paint peeling from the walls, from the soft glow of the lamp that lights his face.

I say this is the most honest film about Kurt Cobain, because, despite the characters technically being fictional (the main character who looks, walks, and acts like Cobain is named Blake), this film focuses on the mental state of a person before they eventually take their own life. They’re still working, still making music, still trying to talk to friends and bandmates, but the depression lingers on. Not once does this film try to make you believe that someone else killed him, because you can see the signs of his own suicide taking place just through the film’s excellent cinematography by Harris Savides, showing his mental state only growing worse through the production design.

And it’s empathetic with him. There’s no judgement for leaving rehab, there’s no finger-wagging at him or the people he was with, there’s just a silent prayer at the end of the film, hoping that he is in a better place than he was.

Sometimes you don’t need to show every event that led you to where you are, all you can show is the moment, which also makes this better than most biopics as well, as it never feels messy or muddled, just showing one moment of Blake/Kurt’s life.

I really loved this film, and I’ll be writing about it in full soon.

The Village (2004) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

The Cracked.com/Channel Awesome audience stuck in 2012 will tell you that this was the beginning of the end for Shyamalan. That this was when people stopped taking him seriously, that this was when he became more of a punchline because of his twist endings.

But why?

The Village was released in 2004, deep in the Bush administration, during the early stages of the Iraq War. The leaders of the time were talking about imaginary boogeymen, terrorists that would attack the civilians if they could. Because of 9/11, politicians could get away with these false ideas with the majority of Americans fully believing them. The boogeymen in The Village are “The People We Don’t Speak Of”, monsters attracted by the color red. Yet we find out that they are all costumes made by the Elders of the land, designed to prevent people from going outside the land. They rule by fear disguised as love. They’ve gone through their own traumas through the deaths of their family members, but they’ve decided to completely abandon the lives that they’ve had and have their children living lies.

9/11 impacted American life by teaching citizens to live primarily by fear, to not trust anyone but their own people. And yet, post-9/11, all that increased was not “coming together”, but hate crimes against South Asian people. The rage white Americans had felt led to conservative politicians pushing fear-mongering agendas, and said white Americans blindly accepted. The outside world was progressing, but too many people were fine with living with further conservative politics only regressing American life further and further back, all for the illusion of safety. Meanwhile, the only threats to them were not the brown citizens outside of America they were so afraid of, but the white elders, the white politicians.

The Village explores these fears so eloquently, all while having a terrifying atmosphere, an enchanting score, and brilliant sound design. I enjoyed this movie very much.

Other viewings I enjoyed:

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) (dir. Mike Judge) (re-watch)

Blow Out (1981) (dir. Brian de Palma) (re-watch)

Clueless (1995) (dir. Amy Heckerling) (re-watch)

Furious 7 (2015) (dir. James Wan)

The Long Goodbye (1973) (dir. Robert Altman)

Lupin III: The First (2019) (dir. Takashi Yamazaki)

Unbreakable (2000) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan) (re-watch)

Velvet Goldmine (1998) (dir. Todd Haynes)

The Visit (2015) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

[story-collector]

The Family We Chose

Part 5

So I just realized I fucked up the ages...like I didn’t calculate something correctly because Damian is 9 when he leaves them...and he’s supposed to be 13 when they see him again but they were 16 when he left and they are supposed to be 17/18 and it doesn’t line up....

Change Damian to 10 when he leaves, they will stay 16....they will be 18 when he sees them next and he will be 12 almost 13.Fixed

???....timeskip I guess

Two years ago I left them, leaving Wayzz behind with Marinette. I glanced to the sketchbook on my desk, almost full, of drawings of my old...and new family.

When I was first brought to my father I hated every single one of his sons and him. I wanted nothing to do with them, I wanted my family, the one I chose.

Unfortunately I knew that wasn’t possible. I knew that the league wouldn’t attack them anymore with my grandfather being dead but I had no idea what my father would try to do. So I left them alone, I stayed away. They had wonderful and successful lives, they didn’t need me to get in the way.

When I became Robin I felt like I was betraying my family, like I was betraying Marinette. They had kept me from the fighting, despite how I had been raised, but they had kept me occupied and gave me things to do. My father didn’t seem like he really cared what happened and he had swept us all into his little mission against crime.

Now two years later I could see he really did love us but he just didn’t know how to express that at all. My brothers were surprisingly better at it than him and I had grown fairly close to them. Now I held them to almost the same esteem as the miraculous team. In the end I think, if given the choice, I would still chose to follow Ladybug. She was the first person that really showed me real love and real care. She had treated me as my age but still as an equal. She had been a big sister, almost like a mother to me.

I missed all of them. Sparring with the boys and patrolling with the girls. I missed their cuddles, their hugs. I missed when Max would show me things on his laptop, whether it was a funny cat video or when he taught me how to hack I still enjoyed my time with him. Adrien had taught me fencing. It had been very similar to a katana but it was more for show. He also taught me a lot about modeling. Kim loved to soar with me and taught me how to really push my personal limits in training, I still used his techniques today. Nathaniel was a fellow artists and they could have spent hours drawing together. Nath had shown him plenty of tips for drawing and I had become better with them. He had also shown me how to fully operate our tech system, from the communication system to the cameras that he had hacked into. The Batcave was actually fairly similar and I had learned the computer functions easily.

Chloe had been someone I had become suprisingly close to. Our personalities were very system but I had learned that she cared deeply from the bottom of her heart about people. When she was hurt, she would be broken for days untill she pulled herself together. I felt especially bad for leaving when I thought of her. She had taught me how to find all the good gossip and how to seem almost all knowing. I still used her technics today and because of that I was always the most informed person in the manor. Kagami really was like an older sister. She taught me sword technics I didn’t know and would spar with me. Secretly she was also a genius about animals. We bonded over that. I still carried that live for animals now. Alix was crazy. I had loved skating with her. Together we had figured out I was a natural skateboarder and she had gotten me one. Unfortunately I had to leave it behind but when I came here I got another one and had designed it similar to her hero uniform.

The two people I was probably closest to had been Luka and Marinette. Luka had taught me how to sing and play guitar. Other times he had just let me curl up next to him and he would play the guitar and sing to me for hours. He was a big brother to me and I missed him so much. I still played the guitar, but very rarely and only in private. No one in my new family knew I could play.

Marinette had been mom, or big sister. She had always been there for me. As I had lived alone in the base we had grown close. She had been the one to find me, the one to help heal me, and she was the one who came every day in the morning to see me and the one who would tuck me in at night. She had always been on call for me whenever I needed her. She was more reliable than my new family all together. I felt the worst about leaving her.

I stared out my window to the manor grounds. They were empty and it was dark, my one night off patrol a week. The sky was clear and as I looked at the moon I imagined my family was looking at it to.

In Paris

In the two years that Damian had been gone we had worked harder to finish Hawkmoth off for good but we couldn’t find out who he was. We spent hours pouring over ever single scrap of what could even be slightly considered evidence and we found nothing. Some days I found myself looking for Damian to see if he wanted to help.

Damian was brilliant, he was probably even smarter now in the years he had been away. Two years...it seemed like yesterday where he would be at the table with me as I looked over the Akumas map. I sighed and looked over it again. Still nothing.

A rattle in the ceiling made me look up to see me partner in crime, the one who was there with me when this it all started. He came down to my level and purred into the hug he gave me.

“We’ll find him one day”

I couldn’t tell If he was talking about Damian or Hawkmoth but I agreed with him fully. Chat Noir returning meant that Alix and Kim would be coming by soon to start the night patrol. That meant it was time for me to go home.

I groaned thinking about the essays I had to write and the math I needed to do at home...and the two dresses I need to make for Penny and the suit for Jagged. Oh well, coffee was a hero’s best friend after all. I said goodbye to the other hero’s, my family, and sent my yo-yo out to a nearby chimney. The sound of Chat Noirs staffed extending joined me moments later.

We traveled in silence till we made it to my parents bakery. We landed on my balcony and detransformed. We sat on the chair and just talked for another hour. We had been partners for almost 5 years now. I had just turned 18 and the others were close behind me. My business had skyrocketed and I was already looking at new places to live in and colleges to got to....after I defeated Hawkmoth.

We also talked about the school trip that we had won recently. I remember the countless hours slaving away to win this opportunity for a class who didn’t even know that I had done it. Lie-la was the apparent savior of the class for this. Whatever.

Luka would be the only one staying behind, Kagami having grabbed a spot with our class for the trip. So much planning would need to be done for this trip. We need to figure out patrols with the time difference. We had the app to alert us but other than that and Luka we would be completely blind to Paris, the news of Hawkmoth having been blocked from the rest of the world.

We had a long few months ahead of us.

Taglist:

@buginetye @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @dood-space @silvergold-swirl @toodaloo-kangaroo @moonlightstar64 @greatcatblaze



[anjuschiffer]

Amira Wayne - Chapter 13

I’m alive! Here’s day 14 of @biodad-bruce-month event (even tho it ended already)!

Chapter 13: Dating/Love

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P.Tag: @theatreandcomicfreak @damianette-is-life @toodaloo-kangaroo @elijahcrevan

Tag: @vixen-uchiha @we-want-mini-mini @ramos123 @bluesimani @redscarlet95 @greatcatblaze @promiswords @fantasiame @corabeth11 @anonymously-odd @alexandriamw @officiallydarkgeek @galla02006 @maleive07

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MASTERLIST | FIRST | PREV | AO3

“Wait, I could just do that?” Chat exclaimed, looking at the akuma that crumbled under his hand.

It was another day without Ladybird, but Chat and Bee were able to handle the past two akumas with ease and with little damage. 

The first time around, the duo met with Ladybird’s kwami Tikki to help purify the akuma. But after witnessing Tikki eat the akuma before spitting it right out purified...let’s just say the duo were left a bit traumatized. 

Not wanting to see that again, Chat and Bee decided to look for alternate ways to purify an akuma. Or at least get rid of them before causing more trouble.

“Wait, how did you not know?” Bee asked.

“Never tried.” Chat said with a slight shrug. “Which reminds me, I have to tell LB something after this.” 

Queen Bee noticed how Chat frowned, his eyes becoming dull. 

“You too?” Bee asked, watching as Chat’s ring was down to its last pad. 

“Wait, what do you mean by ‘you too’?” 

“I have to leave for the States in a few weeks. Something about having to keep appearances and the sorts.” Bee huffed, watching the Parisian sky starting to darken. 

“What are the odds? I also have business in the States, although it’s more about business than appearances in my case.”

“Seeing as the two of us have to tell LB, how about we tell her the news together?” Bee suggested. 

“Sounds like a plan. Although it has to wait for some other day. Right now, I have a meeting to attend, so later!”

Queen Bee watched as Chat Noir left the training grounds in a hurry, noticing the fake smile plastered on his face. 

“You’re being dragged into it too, aren’t you?”

-

“Morning.” Marinette told Adrien and Chloé, much to the surprise of everyone else in the class. 

How did the trio become friends overnight? And wasn’t Marinette best friends with Alya?

“Marinette. The sun is out, I’m having a great hair day and all you can say is morning?” Chloé huffed. “Good morning to you too.”

“Hello Marinette! Feeling any better?” Adrien decided to ignore Chloe, Marinette nodding.

“To be honest, a bit. Still got to take my medication and rest, but staying in bed won’t do me any good.” 

Amira recalled the text message she received this morning, her father asking her how she was. 

Selina had filled him in when he called back, telling him about the situation. Amira also learned of his visit through the baker’s surveillance cameras.

While she had told him that she didn’t care what he did, it hurt to see that he came to visit her. 

Then again...what right did she have to feel sad that he didn’t try to talk to her when she’s already pushed him? 

“-to Marinette. You see Adrikins? I’m telling you, she needs to stay-“

“He could’ve at least let me have known he came over.” Chloé and Adrien found Marinette mumbling, a frown on her face. 

“He? Did someone-“ Adrien started only for Miss Bustier to walk into the class and start the class. 

Chloe watched as Marinette zoned out during their first class, watching as Alya didn’t bother to check in with her supposed ‘best’ friend.

Marinette continued to zone out throughout the entire morning and then acting if nothing was wrong once lunch came around. 

It bothered Chloe so much and she didn’t know. Why did it bother her to see Marinette act as if she wasn’t in pain when it was clear as day?

-

“Ladybird!” Chat called out, snapping Bee from her thoughts. It’s been three days since she last saw Ladybird, watching as their leader greeted them with a slight smile on her face. “Feeling better?”

Deja vu much?

“Chat. Bee. I’ve been doing well. Master Fu gave me the okay to return back to patrolling despite not wanting me being here.”

“How come?” Bee asked, looking out to the Parisian skyline. Tonight, it seemed foreign. 

“One word: Hawkmoth.” Ladybird stated, watching as her partners looked at her with narrowed eyes. “If I stay for too long out of commission, not only will we be giving him more answers about the miraculous, but he’ll know our weakness.”

“But-”

“He’s probably caught up with the most recent information regarding the damage left behind from Dark Owl. Can’t exactly hide the evidence left behind at the stadium and his office.”

Ladybird watched as Bee and Chat nervously laughed at that, remembering the large pile of rust left at the stadium and the amount of tech to clean out of Principal Damocles’ office. 

“Do you think he knows about you and-” Bee started, only to stop when LB nodded.

“He might know I’m not suited for the Ladybug, but there are also other possibilities.”

“Which are?”

“I’m like him.” Ladybird bluntly stated, getting titled heads for a reaction. “I have another life outside the mask that makes me mia.” 

“Wouldn’t that apply to all of-”

“Not exactly. The two of you are mostly active, always at the scene as soon as possible. As for me, I don’t usually appear until minutes later or until halfway. That can mean many things. One, I’m a sickly person outside the mask, therefore I take longer to arrive. Or similarly, I live a little bit outside of  Paris, thus making me tardy. Third-”

“You might be an adult,” Bee stated, watching Chat look at LB with large eyes. What did he figure out?

“Or you might be someone of a high standing who can’t afford to leave their place in society to fight him, a man who has all the time to be ready to akumatize someone at a moment’s notice.”

Guess LB wasn’t expecting that answer, judging from her taken back expression.

“Right on. To think you got it on your first try.”

“Wait, you’re rich?” Bee screeched out, looking at Chat for back up. “I mean, that would explain the burner phones, the equipment at the- you have the money to buy out an entire floor!”

“Yes Bee. I’m rich, although it’s my father who’s rich and was stupid enough to forget to take away my black card.”

“You have a black card?” LB and Chat watched as Bee continued to freak out.

“What’s a black card?” Chat decided to ask, earning concerned faces from the girls. “What?”

“How do you not know what a black card is, Chat! It’s literally the symbol of being filthy rich! Not even Daddy has one!” Bee exclaimed, promptly shutting her mouth.

“You’re rich too, Bee? Wow. To think we all come from a-”

“You’re rich too?” The girls exclaimed, the trio bursting into laughter. 

The three chatted for hours, learning more about themselves. Time went on, the three kids laughing and holding their stomachs as they told tales of their past and of the present. However, Bee picked up on the way Ladybird avoided talking about her father and urged the other two to talk. 

What was she hiding?

“Does that make us the rich kid club?” Chat asked, earning a stifled laugh from LB and a ‘seriously?’ look from Bee. “What? It seems fitting!”

“As much as I’d like to continue to stay and talk, I think we should be heading home. It’s one in the morning and I have class tomorrow.” Bee and Chat nodded in agreement, the three bidding each other farewell. 

-

“So two days, huh.” Amira hummed, watching as Selina packed her bag. While it was two in the morning, Amira thought it would be best to drop by and visit Selina. The talk with her team left her in a giddy state, Amira wondering why she even came here.

“Actually, I might be leaving tomorrow evening.”

“Why?” While Amira still wasn’t particularly fond of the woman, she felt a part of her wanted Selina to stay. Perhaps it was the fact that Selina had been by her side these past few days. 

Or the denial that continued to linger in Amira. That she enjoyed Selina’s concern over her. 

While Selina was by her side, Amira didn’t have restless nights where she would wake up from dreams she couldn’t remember. But from what Sabine had told her, Amira used to have nights where she would be waking up screaming and calling out Jason’s name like a madwoman.

But ever since Selina came over, they stopped happening. “What made you-”

“The gala was pushed forward towards this month. Towards Thanksgiving.”

“Why would-”

“Dick had made the decision to push it forward after getting a phone call in regards to the main event of this year’s gala.”

“Main event?” Amira asked, now wondering what type of event caused Dick to push up the date of the gala. What event caused her father to accept the change of date from it’s usually wintery day?

“This year, Bruce was eagerly planning the main event with such pride, making sure everything was perfect to announce the main event. But then, Jason’s...Jason’s death happened and-

“The Catherine Todd Foundation.” Amira whispered, feeling her heart stop. 

That’s right. How did she forget? How dare she forget? How dare she forget her brother’s dream?

“That’s right.” Selina closed her suitcase shut. “Bruce was planning to reveal the latest Wayne foundation-Jason’s foundation- that he had planned for months.”

“That was planned...for this year’s gala?” Amira asked, feeling her mouth dry. 

Her father didn’t utter a word about it. Nor did Dick. Did...did they not-

“Amira. Amira, look at me.” Selina coaxed, cupping Amira’s face into her hands. “Dick just found out about it when he got a call about one of the sponsors. The sponsor wanted to change the date to make sure-”

“Why didn’t he tell me about it?” Amira whispered, feeling something roll down her face, salt meeting her lips. “Why did no one-”

“Amira, kitten. Dick hasn’t called you in a while, right?” A slow nod. “He’s been busy setting up the gala in your father’s steed. Bruce...your father holed himself again in his study when he found out the sponsor had called in. He...he had forgotten about it. It slipped his mind after-”

“He could’ve called me so I could’ve helped him rework the-”

“Amira.”

“I could've helped!” 

“Amira, Dick couldn’t-“

“You wouldn’t understand Selina! You don’t know-“

“I do.” Selina said softly, holding Amira’s trembling hands. “Just like you, I loved the brat to pieces.”

“You’ve...you loved Jason?” 

“Sure, we didn’t get on the right foot, but I did go to love the boy. Little brat loved to play dirty. Remember he endangered his life once just so I would catch him and make me drop my guard.”

“Sounds just about him.” Amira softly said, Selina picking up on her relaxation. “Jason liked playing dirty, no matter who he was up against. Once he popped his arm off its socket during one of our sparring lessons, which caused me to stop fighting. When I went to check on him, he popped it back in and won the match.

Even though I knew he was alright, I started bawling and hugged him. Father and Alfred came running to see what had happened and when Jason told him what he had done, Father scolded him. ‘Sometimes, you have to play dirty. A fight in Gotham will never be fair and square, old man. You, better than anyone else, should know that.’” Amira said with a smile. “He’d always use that against Father and would win his case. Or perhaps Father let him, knowing that using those tricks would help in a fight one day.”

“And it did, although it mostly grossed out Riddler when he saw Jason do that. Should’ve seen the look at his face.” Selina said with a chuckled, reminiscing that day. 

“I would rather have Jason back than wishing to have seen that.” Amira admitted, looking at Selina with unshed tears. “Jason… Jason was the glue that held us together. He was the one who brought us together, so when...when he died...we...we-” a shuddering breath escaped Amira. “We fell apart...

Dad became so broken that he began to isolate himself from us. He would shut himself in his study for hours and from what Dick told me - days! When I was still in the manor, we wouldn’t see him at dinner nor would we hear from him unless he came back home frustrated from a work meeting.

He no longer made time for us. For Dick...nor me. He allowed himself to drown in his work, both as CEO of WE and Batman” 

“Amira.” Selina softly said, wiping away the tears that had been running down Amira’s face.

“When I finally got to talk to him again...it was to tell me I was being sent to Paris.

He didn’t even let me say goodbye to anyone, not even Jason...

He was at it again. He was isolating me again, but this time to a place where I couldn’t do anything no matter what I tried. I would have no friends to help me, nor connections to help me break out of my father’s control. The only option I was left with was to obey.”

“But Amira, you have friends now. You have people you can lean on. So why? Why can’t you-”

“It was all Jason.” Amira said. “Jason managed to convince Father to let me explore the outside, not me.

Jason was the one who made Dad understand that I shouldn't be kept inside like a trophy bird. That I should be allowed to spread my wings, to grow. How did he do it? I would never know, but I wish he had shown me how.

I only knew how to yell and scream to get what I wanted. I wasn’t like Jason who proved he was right, who fought for what he deemed just.”

“Amira, you don’t have to keep-”

“I do, Selina! I do!” Amira cried, digging her hands into her hair. “My father won’t see nor talk to me otherwise if I don’t! Father never understood the damage he’s done to me unless I show it to him. He’s...he’s!”

Selina pulled Amira into a hug, feeling the girl stiffen in her hold. Selina held the girl tight against her, letting tears run down her face that she didn’t know she was holding back. 

To hear the amount of pain she was holding in, the amount of troubles she had to deal with...and to think Bruce was the cause of the majority of it. 

“Your feelings are valid Amira, your frustrations are as well. But trust me when I say, things will get better and you’re already doing a wonderful job of moving forward.” Selina began to stroke Amira’s hair when she felt Amira tremble. “It may seem as if the situation isn’t getting any better, but it is due to your efforts of wanting to change it. 

So give yourself a break and just let it all out. I’ll make sure to protect while you do.”

That was all Amira needed to let herself cry out her heart, hugging Selina back as she wailed her soul out. 

Selina drew circles on her back as she sat there, making sure to not let Amira go.  

How did Bruce let it get this bad?

-

“You’re going to the States?” Marinette asked, looking up from her calendar in her planner. 

It’s been two days since Amira last saw Selina, already missing her. It took everything in her to not beg her to stay. To not leave her...but she knew better than that. She had to leave and Amira had to respect that.

So here she was, letting her mind try to forget Selina’s warm hug and the calmness she felt when Selina hugged her.

“Yup!” Adrien said with a smile that Marinette could look through from a mile away.

“Adrien and I were both invited to some event that our parents want us to attend, something about having to keep images and whatnot.” Chloe elaborated, noticing the last Thursday in the month circled in red. What a coincidence. “As happy as I am that my mother called me, I didn’t want it to be this way.”

“At least she gave you the choice. My father is threatening me with going or not being able to leave the house again.” Adrien bluntly stated, flinching when Marinette narrowed her eyes. “Baguette, what’s-“

“He threatened you? Your father threatened you?” Chloé and Adrien could feel the murderous intent seeping from the girl. “Let me talk with-“

“Baguette! It’s alright! I told him I’ll do it on a few conditions!” Adrien practically scrambled the details out. He watched as Marinette softened a bit. 

“Conditions?”

“For starters, he’ll let me go with Chloé. No Nathalie nor Gorilla. Second, he will not be allowed to contact me nor Chloé. If I need his help or if I want to go back, I have to be the one to call him back. Third and final one, if I manage to settle a meeting between him and one of the people he told me to make contact with, he has to agree to let me do whatever I want for the rest of the year.”

“Wow Adrikins. Since when did you start stepping up towards your dad?”

“Since I realized that my so-called freedom is still being controlled. If I fully want to be free, I have to start by loosening my father’s control over me. So far, I’ve been seeing results from my efforts. I don’t plan on backing down until I fully achieve my goal.”

Marinette watched as Adrien smiles proudly, not being able to hold back her own smile. 

“Hope you reach it Adrien. I know it’ll be worth it. So then, when’s the event?”

“It’s in three weeks, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Adrien and I will be attending Wayne Gala.”

-

Ladybird looked at Bee and Chat with the same look she had given Adrien and Chloé. 

“The both of you? The two of you are going to be mia in three weeks?” Ladybird asked in disbelief, watching as the two of them rubbed the back of their heads. First Chole and Adrien and now these two? “Do you realize-“

“It’s why we’re telling you now and not later this week or next. We know-“

“Do you really?” Ladybird growled, huffing as she turned around, the Parisian night staring right back at her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have-“

“No, you’re right.” Chat said, Ladybird picking up on his sorrow. “It is stupid of us to leave you-“

“Master Fu.” Ladybird casually said, looking at Bee and Chat. “I can ask Master Fu to see what I can do.”

“Master Fu?” Bee asked, looking at Chat for clarification. 

“Oh right, you’ve never heard about him. He’s the one who chooses the wielders for the miraculouses. He’s the one who chose Ladybird and me. As for you, you were recommended to be a wielder as I vouched for Rena Rouge to be a temporary holder.”

“Wait. I was recommended to-“

“I recommended Master Fu to give you a miraculous. However, that doesn’t mean I fully know your identity. I did recommend two people to become Pollen’s holder after all.” Ladybird looked at Bee who was on the verge of tears. “Guess Master Fu chose the better of the two and I’m glad he did. You’re a great partner.” 

Bee ran and threw herself at Ladybird, the two girls tumbling to the floor as Chat just stood there smiling. 

“I promise to make up for the time we miss!”

“Don’t worry about it Bee. The two of you shouldn’t worry about a thing. Everything will turn out alright. You’ll see.”

-

No. Everything didn’t turn out alright. 

The day came where Chat and Bee bid LB a temporary goodbye and Adrien and Chloe boarded a plane towards Gotham. The minute they said goodbye, Amira grew restless, uneasy. 

It didn’t help that this uneasiness traversed towards her civilian life as well. 

As she walked into the school, it felt like if everyone was watching her every move, judging her.

It was Gotham Academy all over again...

Wally had assured it that it was going to be fine, that she was worrying over nothing. 

But Amira knew better than to ignore the emptiness she felt in her chest. 

Sure, Alya talked her ears off, but Marinette didn’t like the feeling of emptiness around her despite Alya’s clear company. 

Without Chloé and Adrien, everything just seemed...off. 

She didn’t realize their importance until chemistry class. 

She watched people get into pairs as Miss Mendeleiev finished telling her instructions for today’s lab. With the clap of her hands, everyone started to pair up...except her.

“Miss Mendeleiev. I don’t seem to have a partner. If it’s alright, can I-“

“No partner?” Miss Mendeleiev asked, realizing only then that three of her students were out. “I can’t just let you do the lab by yourself Marinette. It’s unsafe.”

“Miss Mendeleiev, I am fine being on my-“

“Now, now. You know that in my lab, no one is allowed to touch the chemicals without a partner.” Miss Mendeleiev clapped her hands to get the class’ attention. “While it seems like everyone has a partner, Marinette doesn’t. Now, who would love to have her in their group or volunteers to be Marinette’s partner?” 

Marinette’s didn’t need to turn around to know no one raised their hand. 

After all, she was always doing labs with Sabrina or Alya, although this time around, Alya had promised Alix to be her lab partner. That left Marinette to be partnerless this time around. 

“So no one is going to volunteer? That’s alright. Nino, please help Marinette with this lab. Kim, join Ivan and Mylène.”

Marinette heard as Nino approached her, turning slowly to avoid seeing everyone else pity him. 

“Look forward to working with you.” Marinette said with a slight bow, only to receive nothing in return. 

Seems like this would be a long lab. 

-

Or not. 

Marinette somehow ended up talking up a storm with Nino.

“You do parkour?” Nino asked, looking as if Marinette grew a second head. “No offense, you don’t even look like the type-“

“Parkour, gymnastics and martial arts. Of course, I haven’t touched gymnastics in a while since my mentor has been busy. Doesn’t help that he’s on the other side of the world.” Marinette said, pouring the hydrogen peroxide into the water and then into the catalase test tube. She watched as the latter created bubbles. 

“Dudette, that’s amazing!” Nino exclaimed, opening up his notebook to the back of his page. 

“Dudette?” Marinette looked at the page he opened, noticing some notes about a personal project. How did she come to that conclusion? Simple. It said ‘Directed by Nino Lahiffe.’

“Ah, I should’ve asked if-“

“It’s fine. Just taken aback by the name since it’s my first time hearing it.”

“Really? What do your friends call you then?” 

“My brother calls Mimi and my friend calls me Bugette.”

“Alya calls you Bugette?” Nino asked, writing down his observations of the catalase in boiling water. 

“As much as Alya thinks she’s my friend, she isn’t quite there. And it’s Wally who calls me Bugette. He’s a friend of mine before I transferred here.” Marinette elaborated, sliding her notebook towards him. “Haven’t spoken to him in a few days though.”

“Alright class!” Miss Mendeleiev said with a clap of her hands. “At this time, start wrapping up your workstation! Make sure to properly rinse out the tubes and place them into their appropriate-“

“Marinette. Is it alright to call you dudette? Of course, if you don’t-“

“I’m fine with it.” Marinette told him with a smile. “I don’t mind being called dudette, Nino.”

-

“-only known her for 30 minutes. How can you say that she wasn’t doing all the work so that-” Marinette heard as she approached the windows that belonged to her classroom. She stopped before they could see her through the glass.

If her ears didn’t betray her, the one speaking right now was-

“Alix, she wasn’t doing all the work. We both did the lab toget-”

“She’s friends with Chloe.” Ivan added.

“How do you expect us-”

“You didn’t try to even get to know her. Yes, I also didn’t want to interact with her before being paired up with her, but now I wish I did. I wish I had talked to her earlier on in the school year and you guys should too! She’s-”

“You shouldn’t pressure others to try and talk to me Nino.” Marinette said, strolling into the classroom. “Let them take their time to try and approach me.” Marinette handed Nino a piece of paper. “I also looked into a few things you mentioned earlier and thought I should give you this. They’re always giving out free courses and workshops, so I thought I should let you know.”

Nino looked at the paper Marinette gave him and was surprised to see a list of different companies and dates in which they held workshops for upstarting directors.

Just as he was about to ask where she had gotten the information from, the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the next class.

-

Amira wishes she was able to escape Anansi’s punches just as quickly as she was able to bolt out the classroom earlier that day.

Amira had been trying to call Wally, trying to get any info on her two friends who should’ve have arrived at Gotham when her phone began to yell ‘AKUMA ALERT.’

So having to leave her worries behind, Amira yelled ‘SPOTS ON’ as she headed towards Hawkmoth’s latest Victim.

Rolling away from Anansi’ punches and parrying them took a toll on Ladybird, feeling the air leave her body as she was slammed onto the ferris wheel structure.

Managing to find a safe space within an alleyway, Ladybird reached for her burner phone when she was reminded of her dilemma. 

Her two partners were away...she told them not to worry…

“Here you are!” Anansi roared, striking the alleyway where Ladybird was hiding, causing the vigilante to become airborne. As Ladybird crashed onto the pavement, the transformation was called off, Tikki opening her mouth to scold Amira for dropping her transformation when she promptly closed her mouth. 

Calling her transformation off, when she crashed onto the pavement and scrambled her way towards another alley. 

“Tikki, go to Master Fu.”

“But-” Amira looked at Tikki with stern eyes.

“Tikki, go and don’t worry about me. I don’t have super strength but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a plan.” 

“Amira.” Tikki whimpered.

“You now what we have to do. Now go!” Taking one last look at Amira, Tikki flew off.

“Please be safe Amira. Please, don’t do anything reckless.”

-

“Come on Little Bug! Is that all you got?” Anansi smugly said, cracking her knuckles as she watched Ladybird wipe off the blood that seeped from her mouth.

Spitting out a bit of blood, Amira grinned. Beads of sweat rolled down her face, something Amira didn’t know she missed dearly.

“Did you really think that was my best? Come on Anansi, I thought it was pretty obvious what was going on here.”

“What are you talking about?” Anansi growled, noticing someone land behind Ladybird. Anansi watched as Ladybird glew red and healed her wounds. “You!”

“That’s right Anansi.” Ladybird grinned. “My backup is here. Carapace!”

“On it!” Carapace yelled, throwing his shield towards Anansi.

With a simple step to the side, Anansi was able to dodge it, only to get her foot wrapped by Ladybird, slipping backward as her back connected with the ground.

Carapace tried to land a hit, but missed when Anansi rolled to the side, but was then dragged towards Ladybird.

Swinging her foot to the side, Anansi shook Ladybird off when she noticed the makeshift ring around her.

How did they set that up? Who set it up when she was bust fending of both Ladybird and Carapace.

“Up for a round Anansi? Or are you afraid of losing against someone half your size and weight?” Ladybird challenged, the smug on her face fanning the annoyance within Anansi.

“You’re on Bug. Can’t wait to beat you and show you that a bug should never mess with a spider!”

-

“Come on Anansi! I thought you said this match will be over in one punch! Oh wait a minute! You can’t even land one!” Ladybird said in a haughty tone, causing Anansi to lunge at her, sending one final punch onto the Arc de Triomphe.

Anansi felt as the ground began to shake, only then realizing the trap Ladybird set down for her.

Grabbing something from the ground, Ladybird grabbed hold of Carapace and brought them to where Alya was being held hostage. 

“Carapace, now!”

“Shellter!” Carapace yelled, shielding them as the Arc de Triomphe crumpled to the ground, trapping Anansi underneath. 

Once the debris settled and the dust settled, Anansi’s headgear appeared by Ladybird’s feet, causing Ladybird to smile. Gleefully, Ladybird slammed her yo-yo against the thing and cracked it, the akuma emerging from it.

Capturing the akuma and purifying it, Ladybird yelled her words. “Miraculous Ladybug!”

Carapace watched with wonder as all the damage Anansi caused was repaired, the Arc de Triomphe restored before his eyes. “Meet me at the Eiffel Tower,” he heard Ladybird say before she swung away.

-

Ladybird stood at the Eiffel Tower, looking at the setting sun in the distance. She had yet to receive a call from-

“Ladybird! So, what do you think about-”

“Hold on Carapace.” Ladybird cut off, Carapace now wondering what was going on. “Not all of us are here.”

“All of us? But I thought-”

“Sorry for coming late!” A voice said, causing Carapace to jump.

Soon, something on the ground began to grow, the pink glow becoming bigger by the second. Emerging from the glow was a girl that seemed to resemble a mouse themed hero.

“Carapace, I’d like you to meet the other vigilante who helped us today.” Carapace remained silent as the mouse themed vigilante shyly waved at them, tucking a loose orange auburn hair strand behind her ear.

“Hi, my name is Gris. It was a great honor to work with you, Carapace. Ladybird.”

-

Pulling their luggage behind them, Adrien and Chloé scanned the welcoming area. Their flight lasted longer than what they thought it would be and they were ecstatic when they landed a few hours ago.

Their eyes landed on a gentleman with a poster board with their names on it. 

When they approached the older man, they couldn’t help but notice the faintest smile on him. 

“I presume you’re Mr.Pennyworth?” Adrien spoke up, Alfred nodding in response. 

“I am Master Adrien. It's also a pleasure to meet you too, Miss Chloé. Welcome to Gotham.”

NEXT

[2manyfandoms2count]

You can count on me (I will be there for you)

The chapters keep getting longer, you’d think I have control over them but obviously not, oops

New this week: More people join the scheming and the “we know who Chat Noir is” gangs (none of which are Marinette), Mayor Bourgeois cries, there’s background Lukloé, there’s the Nino-taking-care-of-Alya scene (if you can call it that) I talked about in the tags of this post, and we’re finally officially ready to roll into the Agreste Mansion.

Enjoy! xx

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | AO3

---

Chapter 6

As Marinette steps back inside, she feels like she’s breathing a million times better than she has for the past month. She feels lighter, too. The upbeat music playing from the loudspeaker feels like a theme song, encouraging her to go forward. They have a plan, and it’s pretty foolproof at this stage; get all the necessary protagonists to the room acting as a backstage area for the band, and have a chat. No overthinking needed.

She spots Max in the crowd, in the middle of a discussion with Kim and Markov. The sentient robot is just as key to the plan as his creator, as she doubts that Gabriel Agreste would leave any numerical information lying around in the open, unprotected. Especially information that could tie him to a master criminal. She also has a feeling that they might have to deal with security cameras, which Markov and Max will probably know how to hack into.

A little to their right, Kagami and Nino are politely listening to André Bourgeois, whose glistening eyes scream his awe of the ceremony. Marinette can almost hear him gush about how he can’t wait for Chloé’s own big day to arrive.

“Looks like our friends are warming up for their duties.” Alya walks in behind her and they both observe the poorly disguised agony on Nino’s face, as well as the tension in Kagami’s shoulders. “You go and save them, I’ll get Max.” Alya pushes her lightly in their direction, and starts for the left.

Marinette stumbles forward, but turns back briefly as a thought crosses her mind. “By the way, did Adrien tell you what he was up to now? He didn’t come back earlier, which turned out for the best, and, well, it’s not that I want to avoid him, but…”

“...you don’t want to justify why everyone’s gathered without him if he walks in on us?” Alya smirks.

“Yeah.” The bride winces. She hates the thought, but she kind of hopes that Adrien will stay out of the way until they have to leave.

“Trust me, girl, he’s not going to show up.” Alya pats her shoulder in a highly suspicious manner. She’s beaming like she knows something that she doesn’t, and it doesn’t bode well. “Relax, he’s fine! Well, as fine as someone who’s been harpooned by a reporter and a photographer for a special interview might be, but it’s not like he’s been kidnapped or anything.” Alya makes a mental note to check if Mirages can be caught on camera when Ladybug is away, and if so, to maybe snap a few pictures of fake-Adrien for an article to support her lie. Just on the off-chance Marinette decides to follow up on it. There will no doubt be plenty of articles on the wedding itself, but since Adrien is busy running around in leather spandex, there probably won’t be that many one-on-one interviews with him in the press.

“Ouch.” Marinette winces. The thought that the man really deserves a medal for everything he went through, and everything he’s bound to go through before the end of the day crosses her mind. She’ll have to think of an appropriate gift to thank him.

“Don’t worry, he said he was used to it when they dragged him off.” Alya shrugs. “Anyway, let’s go, we can’t leave Chat Noir waiting out back for too long, he’ll get antsy.”

Marinette nods and makes her way towards the now crying mayor.

“Hi, Mister Bourgeois, thank you so much for coming today.” She pats him gently on the shoulder, and gestures for a nearby waitress to come around so she can grab a napkin off her tray. She mouths 'thank you' to her, before handing it to the mayor.

“It was such a wonderful wedding, congratulations to you two lovebirds.” He wipes his tears. “I’ve taken notes for Chloé’s wedding, I’m sure she’d love something like this, if she settles down. She works so much.” More tears spill over, and Marinette winces.

Chloé has taken after her mother and become something of a fashion mogul, although her relationship with Luka (which isn’t really a fling anymore at this point, since she’s been drawn back to him like a wave to the shore for the past five years) seems to keep her fairly grounded. She seems very relaxed when she’s with him, as happy as Marinette’s ever seen her , and she sometimes wonders if something very lavish like this would actually still suit her friend. Her money would be on something a little more bohemian (even though she doesn’t doubt that a lot of money would be spent for the wedding to look simple and ethereal).

“I wouldn’t worry about her, your daughter will get there when the time is right.” She pats his arm sympathetically, Kagami and Nino nodding along. Her gaze wanders around, searching for the blonde, and she spots her hanging just shy of the dancefloor, seemingly engaged in an intense staring contest with Luka while he plays on the stage. Marinette conceals a smile at the very obvious tension between the two. Something tells her she wouldn’t find Luka with his bandmates during Kitty Section’s break.

Maybe Chloé’s very obvious gawking is the first step towards making her relationship public.

“Anyway, I need to borrow these two for a bit, thanks again for everything!” Marinette shakes Mr Bourgeois’ hand before pushing her friends towards the back room. It doesn’t take much for them to start power walking towards the exit.

“Thank you so much for getting us out of this, dude, I thought I was going to pass out! It’s been over half an hour since he’s started talking to us. We just asked him to pass on some plates for the cake!” Nino whispers.

“I love Chloé but I was ready to tell him about Luka if it meant he would stop listing all the ways she’s so great and wondering why she’s still single.” Kagami lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t thank me just yet.” Marinette grimaces. They might have escaped Bourgeois small talk, but they’re in for a far worse prospect; Agreste small talk. She doesn’t know which option she'd prefer: having to listen to someone blabber on, or having to make a distinct effort to keep the conversation going.

They enter the backstage room, which is full of lighting apparatus, music equipment boxes, and all sorts of cables. A small table is set up on the side with water bottles and a bowl of chouquettes, which, of course, has reeled in a black-clad target.

“Nino, Kagami, you remember Chat Noir.” She shakes her head with an amused smile at the sight of her partner, hunched over the bowl, stuffing his face. He looks up suddenly, like a deer caught in headlights, and gobbles down his mouthful.

“Hi!” He smiles a little guiltily, brushing stray sugar from his collar. “Cool to see you guys again.”

“Hey dude!” Nino’s smile widens as they fist-bump. Kagami nods at him as Alya, Max and Markov join and greet them.

They stand silently in a circle, the three newest conspirators looking at each other, then at the others, with a raised eyebrow.

“Guess why we’re all here.” Alya grins, barely containing her excitement, rocking on the ball of her feet.

Max clears his throat and pushes his glasses back up on his nose. “Seeing that Chat Noir is here, and that as far as we know, aside from Marinette, we all have a history of being picked as Miraculous wielders, I’d say there’s a 96.85% chance that we are gathered here for Miraculous reasons. And that being said, I want to say that there’s a 98.26% chance that Ladybug is nearby.”

“Nice deductive skills.” Marinette nods and Chat Noir lets out a low whistle. You’re correct on both fronts.” She stands a little taller, and looks at them all in turn as she speaks. “I’m Ladybug, and I need your help today.”

Nino and Kagami all but gape at the reveal.

Max’s smile is as smug as it gets for him. “I can’t say I’m surprised. Markov and I had calculated that there was a 99.45% chance that you were Ladybug, given that you’ve never been akumatised, that you always seemed to disappear during attacks, and that Ladybug always seemed to arrive very quickly when the akumatisation took place at school.”

“Affirmative. I would have checked with my facial recognition software but Max asked me not to.” Markov chimes in.

“That’s really impressive.” Marinette crosses her arms over her chest, thanking whoever was out there for not granting Hawkmoth a tech-savvy genius friend and robot, and half wondering whether she should ask them who they think Chat Noir is, and check their results with him.

“So Adrien and you both married your collège crushes then? That’s pretty nice.” Kagami smiles.

“Except that Ladybug is in love with Chat Noir, and they're dating. It’s been all over the Ladyblog for at least a year .” Nino frowns and looks towards Alya. He’s had to run after her countless times after the superheroes' relationship had become official, to make sure she wouldn’t fall from the rooftops when she chased Ladynoir dates. As ecstatic as she was when she came back with a couple of exclusive shots, there'd always been an ankle, or at least a scratch, he'd had to bandage. He'd once seen her standing on her tiptoes on a rather flimsy tree branch, and he'd thought his heart was going to give as she'd leaned forward, the branch wobbling menacingly under her, to snap a picture. He’d ranted about it to Adrien, and not too long afterwards, their favourite superhero duo had been spotted hanging out in much more accessible places, much to everyone's delight. Nino didn't know if it was a coincidence, but his blood pressure sure was thankful.

Chat catches Alya’s eyes before she can say anything. He shakes his head in warning. Not now. Her smug grin dies on her lips, and her shoulders droop a little in disappointment.

“Yeah, Adrien and I are… a façade.” Marinette’s lips spread into a tight smile. She hopes that her friends will understand.

“He looks so in love, though.” Kagami says quietly, and Marinette feels another wave of guilt hit her.

Her smile falters.

Alya looks at Chat Noir and raises her eyebrows; Nino and Kagami are very defensive of you, are you sure you want them to continue down this road without saying anything? He shakes his head, again. There’s another way.

“Trust me, guys, it’s 100% acting. Yes, maybe he’s tapping a bit from his Ladybug crush days, but he promised me that his feelings were gone. I think he’s secretly preparing to start a Hollywood career.” Chat Noir shoots everyone a dazzling smile, the one which has earned him millions of euros across the years, and which his father insured for about as much money. Nino twitches a little at the sight, squints, and Adrien knows he’s piqued his best friend’s suspicions. He winks at him, and watches realisation dawn upon his face.

Nino squints again, and nods towards Marinette. Chat shakes his head. On the other side of the circle, Alya beams as she observes the quiet exchange.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Marinette clears her throat, eager to change the subject, “I need you, and actually, so does Adrien.”

“Is he alright?” Kagami asks.

“He’s fine. Just needed a little dérobement from the press.” Chat Noir mimes a fencing parry, hoping she’ll make the connection. However much they trained, it always seemed like they came back to the Battez-Tirez when sparring together, and its effective parry, the dérobement. They hadn’t competed in public for a while now, preferring to rent out fencing halls when they were both in town, so they could catch up at the same time. Only the two of them would really know what he was referring to.

She nods in understanding, and he sees her shoulders untense as she turns towards Marinette with a small smile. “Understandably so. I’m guessing you have a plan, then?”

“Yes.” Marinette lets out a sigh of relief at her cooperation, and mentally thanks Chat for always knowing what to say to ease any tension. “Here’s how it’s going to go, if you’re up for it: Max, Markov, Chat Noir and I will head to the Agreste Mansion to do a little research on Gabriel Agreste and his possible ties with Hawkmoth. During that time, Alya will be hanging out with Adrien and Mirage-ing me so no one suspects that I’m gone.” She doesn’t pick up Nino and Kagami whipping their head in Alya’s direction, nor the latter’s smug grin. I know too. In fact, I was the first to know. “Nino and Kagami,” their heads whip back to her, “you guys are on Agreste and Sancoeur surveillance duty. They are not to leave this place before you get my signal. You’ll have your Miraculouses in case things get complicated.”

Kagami raises her hand. “If we’re not transformed, how will we communicate with you?”

Marinette doesn’t have the time to look stumped because Max steps forwards. “I got that part covered.” He digs into his pockets and pulls out seven earpieces, which he passes around the circle. They all look down at the simple yet clearly very sophisticated piece of equipment they’re holding, and Max nods to encourage them to put them in, Markov flying down to help them synchronise.

“Should I bother asking why you’re walking around with these?” Alya asks.

He shrugs and pushes his glasses back up. “It's basic equipment. You never know when it could come in useful.”

“Thanks, Max.” Marinette smiles.

She’s about to ask if anyone has any questions when Alix, Juleka and Rose stroll into the room. Marinette mentally goes through the wedding's timetable; this must be Kitty Section's break, if she can tell by Rose and Juleka's slightly sweaty appearance. The three ladies slow down when they see the group break the circle to face them.

“Hey everyone. You missed one hell of a performance out there. Luka was on fire on the guitar, and I think Chloé almost fainted.” Alix smirks as they approach. “Oh, hey Chat Noir.”

She reaches out for a chouquette, earning herself a vaguely threatening look from him, which she shrugs off. Marinette notes that she seems rather unsurprised that he’s hanging out with them. Her friend is actually very relaxed even by Alix standards, when she assumed any onlookers would deem their congregation at least slightly suspicious.

Then again, the woman has access to the Burrow of Time. Everything must be alright, if she’s not panicking.

“How come you’re here? Is somebody in trouble?” Rose asks the question Marinette expected, confirming that Alix must have been monitoring the situation, and takes a swig from her water bottle. Her voice is a little hoarse from the singing, but it still makes her sound like a slightly frightened child.

“Erm… Not really, except…” Marinette trails off, a good excuse eluding her as she’s scrutinised by two of the three ladies, Alix’s left eyebrow shooting up, as if she’s curious to see what she’ll come up with.

“Except for the wedding presents!” Chat Noir swoops in to the rescue, draping an arm across her shoulders. “Our lovely bride here is very tempted to open them without Adrien, but he knows her so well, that he hired me specifically to prevent from doing it.”

“Well, well, well, that’s not very cash-money of you, Marinette.” Alix tuts.

“Oh, I can put you out of your misery for ours!” Rose jumps up and down excitedly, and Juleka smiles behind her bangs.

“Yay!” Marinette exclaims feebly.

“It’s actually a joint gift from all of Kitty Section, and Mylène; we heard that you and Adrien were moving into a new apartment now that you’re married, and Luka thought a good sound system would probably be the last thing on your mind when you bought your furniture, so we went with that! And we also made you a playlist to slow dance to, it’s going to be so romantic!” She sighs.

“That’s so sweet of you guys.” Marinette looks at her friends and feels bad for lying to them when they’re so thoughtful. She hugs Rose and Juleka in turn, making sure they can feel how grateful she is. She’ll find Luka, Mylène and Ivan later.

“Want to hear what I got for you, too?” Alix asks with a smug smirk.

“Sure, if you feel like sharing.” Marinette’s smile is genuine.

“Right, so, I found this great mystery box online where they deliver you clues and then you have to solve it, a bit like an escape room, you know? Except wherever you want, at your own pace. I thought you’d appreciate it.” She shrugs, and pops another chouquette into her mouth.

Marinette and Chat Noir exchange a look. They’ve got their plate full with this mystery, and once it’s over, Marinette is pretty sure she’ll lay off the detective work. She might don the cap again for Adrien if he really wants to, but she isn’t even sure of that.

“That sounds amazing!” Alya answers instead of her, eyes glinting in excitement. “Would you send me the link? I’d love to do something like this too.”

“Sure, if you want!” Alix shrugs. “You could also hitchhike Adrien and Marinette’s game, you can participate with as many players as you want.”

Alya turns towards Marinette with pleading eyes, and her friend rolls her eyes with a smile. Of course she’d be welcome on her team. Isn't that exactly what's happening right now?

“Anyway, we should head back, the next set is starting soon.” Rose clears her throat. “It was nice seeing you guys! Stay strong, Marinette. Adrien will be back soon, you’ll open your presents together!”

“Good luck up there! Honestly you’re doing great, can’t wait for the dances!” Marinette hugs her, then Juleka, and holds Alix back.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” She pulls her slightly aside, and nods to Chat, who takes the lead of the group. He starts handing out the Miraculouses.

“Yes, boss?”

“You’re probably aware of what’s going on, what with the Rabbit Miraculous and everything…” Marinette gestures widely. “Would you keep an eye out in the Burrow, and make sure we’re not messing up anything, timeline-wise?”

“Yep, no worries! As of now, you’re doing great.” She grins.

“Super, thank you.” She sighs in relief and squeezes her friend’s arm. “I’m sorry I didn’t sound more enthusiastic about your present, earlier, I’m sure it’s amazing.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I know it’s not exactly what you need right now, but as you know, I see everything. It’ll be a hit.”

“Looking forward to trying it out, then!”

“Good. Now, go back to your scheming, I’ll keep an eye on things. I’m guessing Alya and the others have a way to communicate with you, if I see anything?”

“Yes.” Marinette smiles.

“Okay, well, I hope I won’t need it, but I’ll let one of them know if I do.” Alix pats Marinette’s arm and turns around. “Good luck out there!”

“Thanks!”

Marinette smooths her skirt, takes a deep breath and walks back to her schemers with a confident smile.

“Everybody okay?” She asks, and all nod. “Cool, because it’s go time.”

[kaen-ace-of-diamonds]

Impending Paternity

Word Count: 3900+ (oneshot) [AO3]

Genre: Humor/Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: Peter B. Parker/Mary Jane Watson

Characters: Peter B. Parker, Mary Jane Watson, Spider-Man Noir, Peter Porker, Gwen Stacy, Peni Parker, Miles Morales

Summary: The closer the birth of his first child gets, the more Peter’s old fears of fatherhood resurface. Fortunately for him, he now has universes of parenting advice to call on and prepare him.

Written for the @dimension-zine.

~0~

Waking up in a cold sweat wasn’t something at all new to Peter B. Parker. That didn’t make it any less unpleasant.

What was new to him was registering the feeling of MJ’s arms around his waist as they slept, the flat press of her chin by his shoulders. Once again, they shared a bed: small, but more than enough room for them to lay pressed up against each other, legs entwined, skin on skin. It was almost enough for Peter to forget what had caused him to sleep more restlessly than he had in a very, very long time.

Even in the dark of the bedroom, the damn pregnancy test is staring directly at him from the mesh metal wastebasket, with its solid pink eye. He’d stared down monsters, mobsters, and maniacs of all sorts without blinking, and yet this damn near ignites his old “curl up in the shower and hide” instinct. MJ’s stomach doesn’t show any signs of change yet, doesn’t feel any different against his back...But there’s going to be a tiny person in there very soon. A person that he helped create. A person that he’ll have responsibility to.

MJ can’t stop smiling about it — this is what she’s wanted for a long time — and her joy is very nearly infectious. Peter had agreed to this, of course he had. It was time for him to quit hiding away from the fears that he couldn’t dodge or punch away so easily. But still, he isn’t sure if he can say he’s wholeheartedly looking forward to it, and still be telling the truth.

He’s never had younger siblings or cousins. He has long since lost Uncle Ben and Aunt May (knowing that other versions of them exist, even meeting them, doesn’t erase the sting). MJ hasn’t said a word to her own parents in years, and Peter has never had any problem saying flat out how unhelpful he’s sure they’d be anyway. So he has nobody to fall back on if he has questions or confusions or fears — aside from MJ, and while he loves her and trusts her judgment in all things, he can anticipate there may be times when an uninvolved third party will be invaluable. 

All of a sudden, Peter freezes, eyes going wide. He has the sudden impulse to jump out of bed that always used to come with a brilliant idea, which he feels are too few and far between nowadays. Obviously he can’t do that now, at fuck o’clock in the morning with his wife’s arms securely around him. It’ll have to wait until the morning, but oh, he can’t wait to explain to her over breakfast what he’s planning to do when he grabs enough free time over the next few months. She still hasn’t heard everything he’s had to tell about his little dimension-hopping adventure...

~0~

“So!” Spider-Man Noir slams this finished egg cream down on the table just as fiercely as he has the past eight glasses. “You’re finally becoming a daddy!”

“How...are you doing that through your mask?” Peter asks hesitantly, sipping on his one half empty glass of the drink. 

“I remember my childhood fondly,” Noir goes on as if Peter hadn’t spoken, gazing nostalgically out his window. He had wanted to take Peter bar-hopping, initially, but a guy walking around all in color attracted too much attention on the streets, and they had agreed that Noir’s apartment would be best for a private conversation. “Don’t remember my own mother or father, but my Aunt May says that she and my Ma used to trade parenting tips out of pamphlets when I was just a grub.”

Peter perks up slightly. “What kind of tips?”

“Well! First one’s for your future mama...Ah, how’s your place looking?”

Peter blinks. “It’s...fine. Better than living alone, no offense to you, but — ”

“No, no, you don’t get it. Is it all pretty?”

“Huh? Pretty?”

“Somethin’ Ma and Aunt May picked up from my granny,” Noir explains. “If a mama with an unborn baby sees ugly things, that ugly beams itself into her brain and straight down into her womb, and gets right into your baby. So you gotta be sure to keep her around pretty things to look at, you see? You want a nice kid, don’tcha?”

“Uh...Y-Yeah! I sure do!” he says, trying to keep disappointment off his face. Noir talks with absolute conviction in his beliefs, but what Peter had forgotten was that these were the beliefs of 1933. Even earlier, if he’s getting this stuff from older relatives. None of it’s going to do his twenty-first century self any good.

So the first chance he gets, Peter slurps down the last of his egg cream (surprisingly tasty, he’ll have to look up a modern recipe to compare sometime) and leaps up from his chair, sauntering back over towards an opening portal. “Thanks so much, Noir, but I gotta run! No telling when I can catch the next portal, y’know?”

Noir waves, unperturbed, pouring another drink. “Stock up on lard! You got to give baby’s first bath with it, get all that scum off ‘em!”

“Sure! Lard! No problem!” Peter calls over his shoulder, nearly diving into the portal.

~0~

Though Ham assures him that the natives find him much stranger and more unsettling than he finds them, Peter never quite gets used to being a real guy in a cartoon world. The lurid colors hurt his eyes, things move too fast and sound is constantly blaring, and for some reason he’s very, very suspicious about the contents of those hot dogs. But the veggie wraps are surprisingly good, and he chows down with one hand while typing at breakneck speed with the other. 

“Hot dog, you’re fast enough to kick some butt at the Daily Beagle!” Ham bounces up and pats his head happily. “Granted, we’re more story-ey than sciencey over there, but you get the point! That file-hunting stuff’s really not giving you any trouble?”

“Nope,” says Peter through a mouthful of tomato and lettuce. MJ’s newly emerging cravings were much less of a pain than either of them had expected: they consisted mostly of something rich stuffed into something bread, and he wished he could bring something from here back for her. “The rules are pretty different from the re -- uh, from my dimension, but surprisingly easy to memorize. I should be able to retrieve what you’re looking for in...maybe two minutes?” 

“Faaaaan-tastic!” 

“Can you keep them busy that much longer?”

“Sure can!” As he speaks, Ham is already whipping a comically large wrench out of his pocket and hurling it at the helmeted boar goons trying to break through the barricaded door. “Take that, you @#$%^&*!”

Peter still isn’t sure how Ham manages to make those sounds instead of swearing, but no matter. As far as he’s concerned, no questions equals smooth sailing. 

Well...of course he does have one. 

“Hey, Ham, this might be a weird thing to ask, but...what would you call ‘good parenting?’”

“Huh, I’m not sure. My parents passed before I was hatched, but Mom made sure her sac was settled in a nice place! My web was in May Porker’s lab for months before I transformed! Good thing, too, I was coming up on the tail end of my lifespan!”

“Oh...Y-Yeah, real good thing,” Peter stammers, fingers momentarily freezing on the keys as he processes that whole spider-turned-pig thing one more time. He’s privately quite glad that he’s never seen what’s under Ham’s mask. 

“I consider myself real lucky, actually!” Ham laughs. There’s a crash, and the metal door starts to squeal off its hinges, the enemy scrabbling to all get through the cracks at once. Ham promptly yanks out a machine gun and lets fly at them. Peter chokes down a laugh at the toy rat-a-tat-a-tat noises it makes. “Aunt May’s the best aunt a Spider-Ham could ask for! Bakes a mean apple pie, talks my ears off about her tech, supports me in all my endeavors. And you know, I can barely even see the bite scar anymore!”

Peter chokes on tomato. “The what?”

“Oh, Aunt May was the radioactive pig that turned me into Spider-Ham in the first place! My memories are slightly muddled around that time, but oh well! Doesn’t matter! Though neither of us had any idea it would do that, soooo...maybe just be extra careful about where your teeth go?”

Peter huffs, right-clicking the elusive file he’s found and downloading it to Ham’s flash drive, which is unsettlingly shaped like a bacon strip. “Yeah. Great advice. Don’t bite my kid. Next you’ll be telling me to keep my window open for the delivery stork to fly in with ‘em.”

“Well, sure, that’s just common courtesy! If ya really want to be nice, you give your stork a nice big tip!”

Peter swallows a groan from the deepest depths of his being, along with the last of the wrap.

~0~

“Six months and I still can’t believe you’re going to be a dad!” Gwen shouts, gracefully backflipping over another laser beam. “Like an actual dad!” 

“Almost seven, actually! And yep! Can’t believe it either!” Peter answers somewhat breathlessly, through his own leaping and punching of the armored thugs rushing in through the legs of the gun-toting robots. “Any ideas for names? Because MJ and I are way out!”

He hears Peni’s thoughtful humming through the speakers of her newest prototype: SP//dr, Mark Three. “Hmm...I don’t know much about historical naming conventions, but I also don’t think they’ve changed very much...Chief Stacy, what do you think?”

Safeguarded inside SP//dr’s cockpit from the onslaught targeting him and remaining remarkably calm about it, George Stacy considers it. “Hm. My daughter’s name is Gwendolyn. I’ve always thought that was the nicest name.”

Peter smirks under his mask, and gently elbows Gwen as she passes him. “Whaddaya think, Spider-Woman?”

He physically feels Gwen rolling her eyes. “It’s fine. Why don’t you just name him after you?”

“There’s millions of me! Maybe more! And besides we don’t even know if it’s a him, yet!”

“What about Ben? Or Benjamin?” Peni suggests. “To honor your uncle!”

“Oh, come on! Doesn’t anybody have an original idea!”

Gwen wrenches a robot head off and lobs it straight into a goon’s chest. “You know what, those will probably be a little easier to come by after we finish getting shot at!”

“Agreed, ma’am,” Chief Stacy says. “Excellent throw, by the way. Hey, Man-Spider, machine gunner at three o’clock!”

No matter how short and no matter how many people fight beside him, Peter’s various battles always seem to last forever as they happen, but the memory of them only lasts a blink of an eye. So it’s slightly dizzying when just a couple hours after the attack has been dealt with, Chief Stacy secured, and a plan for Gwen to hunt down whoever had ordered it outlined, the three of them are sitting on the roof of a skyscraper, eating cheeseburgers while the sun rises before them.

“I can’t even imagine eating a burger with pickles on it,” Gwen says. “You’re really telling me that’s the common thing instead of chili peppers where you’re from?”

“Yep,” Peter confirms, washing a large, hot bite down with a quarter of his soda. “I mean, I’ve had jalapeño burgers before, but they’re like a specialty thing.”

“We eat pickles on our burgers, too, but they’re all deep fried,” Peni puts in. “Crunchy.”

Gwen laughs, the breeze blowing her hair back. After hearing the story of how she’d acquired her undercut, Peter always finds it funny that she’d gone ahead and kept it after all. “So weird.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he says. “Entirely unrelated, if you need any more help with your dad, you just let me know.”

“And me!” Peni adds, SP//dr waving a leg in agreement. 

“Thanks, guys.”

“Hey...Speaking of dads...” Peter pauses a moment to think before continuing, “What would you call your dads’ best qualities? Like, as a dad?”

“You’re looking for advice again?”

“A little template would be nice, sure!”

“All right, then...” Peni taps a French fry on the burger box. “I always loved how smart and loving my dad was, and that he had faith in me to continue his work when he was gone. Dad always believing in me helped me to believe in myself, when I might not have otherwise.”

Gwen nods. “I feel pretty similar about my dad. He doesn’t know about me being Spider-Woman, and he doesn’t really get the whole rock band thing. But he makes sure I know that he loves me no matter what, and that he’ll support me in whatever I decide to do. Provided I’m not, like, becoming a supervillain or anything, but I’m doing the opposite of that, so...”

Peter feels the urge to start taking notes. “Sounds good, sounds good, and...don’t take this the wrong way, but is there anything they do, as dads, that makes you not like them sometimes?”

Peni giggles. “Of course there was! I didn’t like when he’d work late and not get home on time, or when he’d make me stop reading comics and go to bed, or something like that. I’d get annoyed with him, but I still loved him.”

“My dad kind of runs the house like he does the police station,” Gwen adds. “He can be super strict, a bit like Miles’ dad. Ironclad rules and curfews for me and my brother, endless lectures when we break them. If I were a normal girl, it’d be pretty stifling, but since I have this life that I have to keep secret from him...it can be really hard sometimes.”

“Yeah, I...I can see that. I don’t really know if I should keep who I am secret from my kid, though. Would it keep them safe, or...just make them resent me? Or both?”

Gwen sighs. “There’s really no right answer, I don’t think.”

“You’re worried about being perfect.” Peni pats his shoulder. “But you don’t need to be. Just use your best judgment.”

Peter looks glumly at the street below. “I wish that was something I trusted.”

~0~

There’s a hollowness inside his chest. 

The only light on the wide, empty street are from the street lamps, ghastly white against the pitch black. He moves as if underwater: swinging, roundhousing, throwing his barely-pulled punches. His heart is pounding, but the rest of him and the world feels numb. Cold sweat soaks the inside of his mask, and heavy dread washes over his skin. 

Peter’s fighting shadows, human-shaped pillars of darkness. His strikes go right through them, when he can reach. But everything they land on him feels like being pummeled by a cannonball, and he’s not sure how long he can endure it. 

The end comes out of nowhere. One spectral arm flashes up, there’s a glint of silver, and a soundless explosion that makes the whole world ripple. It hits his chest like a tidal wave, slams him into the concrete. He can’t get up again. In the world of muted, swimming colors, the gushing of blood from his shot-open heart is sickeningly vivid. 

“DAD!”

Everything in him jolts. He lifts his spinning head to see a kid sprinting towards him, as fast as they can but not fast enough to reach him. He can’t tell how old the kid is, or whether they’re a boy or girl. But he recognizes MJ’s bright red hair and blue eyes, and his own expression of utter, gut-wrenching horror and heartbreak. 

“DA-A-A-D!”

He tries to say he’ll be okay and coughs up blood instead. His rib-punctured lungs won’t let him speak. Panic engulfs him: his death is going to be burned into his kid’s eyes forever and there’s nothing he can do, nothing he can do, nothing, nothing, nothing —

“Peter! Peter, wake up, it’s okay!”

The darkness is blue, striped by the thin gold light through their bedroom blinds. His eyes fly open and he grabs for his bare chest: intact, bloodless. It’s soft and safe around him but he still can’t catch his breath. MJ is awkwardly rolling over in bed to stroke his hair and try to hug him. 

“Peter, you’re okay. You were dreaming. Just dreaming...”

She’s no stranger to dealing with him like this, and the guilt stabs deeper. “I...s-sorry, I...”

“Deep breaths. Slow breaths. I’m here.”

“I won’t be,” he chokes out.

“Peter — ?”

“I-I dreamed that someone shot me, killed me, r-right in front of our kid. It...God, it terrified them, ruined them for life, I could feel it, and it was all my fault!”

He rolls over to look at her face, to anchor him to the real world. He half-expects to see irritation in her eyes at his weakness. Instead there’s love and sympathy. 

“It wasn’t your fault. It was just a dream. That doesn’t mean it will happen.”

“It happened to every parent I ever had. It happened to me. What if I do that to my kid? I can’t — I don’t — ”

Trembling, Peter places his hands on MJ’s belly. Their kid, determined to make sure that their mom sleeps as little as possible, kicks a drumbeat against his palms. They don’t know what fear, pain, or loss is yet. How can he be the one to bring it into their life?

“I’m not running away again,” he assures MJ, as her fingers run through his hair. 

“I know you won’t. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave our kid. I never did. I want to be there for you for the rest of my life,” Peter forces out through his tightening throat. “B-But that choice could end up not being mine, after all of this. The things I do, the people I fight, I could die anytime! I’d leave you again. Both of you.”

MJ cups his cheek, leans in to kiss his forehead. “I can’t tell you that nothing bad will happen, Peter. But I can tell you you’re not alone. Like, I worry about the same thing happening to me that happened to my mom. Dying before our baby can even remember me.”

Peter’s heart lurches; he’d forgotten about that. “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t —“

She cuts him off with another kiss. “We’re both afraid, Peter. Your job is probably the most dangerous one out there, but you don’t have to go through this alone. All we can do is what every parent has to do: our best.”

“What if my best isn’t good enough? What if I fail, and they hate me?”

“It’ll be more than enough for the people who love you. Always.” MJ smiles. “And they would never hate you. I never could, no matter what.”

Tears slip down his cheeks. He wants to tell her thank you, but he can’t seem to speak, only hug her as close as he can.

~0~

He has one place left to visit. Something he hasn’t been able to face until month nine.

Aside from this world’s MJ, Miles is the most common visitor to Perfect Peter’s grave. After the first time, he’s never surprised to see Peter B. here too. 

“Hey,” he says as Peter walks up, morning dew soaking his sneakers. “How’s it going? Is MJ doing okay?”

Peter nods. “Her due date’s in two weeks. All smooth sailing so far as the doctors say.”

“Awesome.” Miles half-smiles. “So...you had a question for me?”

“Yeah. I just need...one more hope boost before this thing really gets started. Feel free to tell me to kick rocks back to my own dimension if you don’t want to talk about it, but...” He gestures to the gravestone. “This Peter. Your uncle. What was it like to lose them, because of their line of work? I’ve made my life so damn risky, am I doing something wrong bringing a baby into it with me?”

Miles is silent for a long time. “I don’t have a solid yes or no to that. I...I’ll always wish things were different for them both. That there was something I could have done to save them. If I let myself think about it too hard, or too long, I’ll lose myself in it.”

Peter winces. But then Miles goes on.

“I’ve just got to tell myself, what happened, happened. Can’t change the past. The best thing I can do, for them and for me, is keep moving forward. I miss them like crazy and I wish they were still around, I always will. But more than anything, I remember the lessons that they taught me. That they were good men, that they cared about me. It’s the same with you and your uncle, right?”

“I...I do remember him that way. Yeah. But I was going into college when Uncle Ben died. I wasn’t...just a kid. I chose this life, MJ chose to stay with me, our kid didn’t ask for this kind of life.”

Miles shrugs. “I worry about my dad every day. He’s worked a dangerous job in a dangerous city since before I was born. I don’t hold it against him, because I know why he does it. I’m one of the people he’s trying to protect, after all.”

“Yeah, but — ”

“Peter. Come on.” Miles turns to look at him then, with a knowing smile. “You don’t know all of what you’re doing. No one does. What matters is that you’re a good man, and that’s what’ll be most important to your kids, whatever happens: that their dad loves them and would do anything for them.”

Peter feels the same rush of pride and affection for him that he had back at the reactor, along with a sense of security around his heart. He’s surprised to find himself laughing. “You’re the best, kid, you know that?”

Miles’ grin broadens cheekily. “Oh, I know. I try.”

He wraps an arm around Miles’ shoulders and pulls him in for a hug. “Yeah, just keep trying, future godfather.”

It takes a second for the word to hit Miles, and then he spins around to stare at him with huge eyes. “I — their godfather?! Me?”

Peter laughs. “No one out there’d be better than you. Only the best for my kid.”

~0~

After the twenty-seven most stressful hours of their lives, Mira Penelope Watson-Parker emerges into the world with a long, indignant screech. 

Illuminated in the noon sun, in the soft yellow hospital room, both his wife and daughter look like angels in Peter’s eyes. He doesn’t even care that he’s about to cry. “You did amazing, hon.”

MJ grins. “Helps to have a husband whose hands I could squeeze as hard as I needed. C’mere and hold her. I’m sure she wants to meet her dad.”

Peter tries so very hard not to tremble as MJ passes their blanket-wrapped daughter into his arms. He’s never felt anything so delicate in his life. 

“She’s...so tiny,” is all he can manage.

Mira’s hair is her mother’s bright red, just like in his dream. But the dark hazel eyes staring curiously up at him are all his own. 

Peter smiles at her, cradling her close. He really would do anything for her, he knows that already.

“Hey, sweetheart. Hey. Dad’s here.”

[my-miraculous-headcanons]

“Yes.”

[AO3] 

Word Count: 7,159

The picture was beautiful, and quickly gained a lot of attention.

It was difficult for photographers to gain attention, especially in the modern world where everyone has the capability to snap a quick picture of whatever they'd like, at any moment. There are few photographs out there that gain enough attention to be instantly recognizable on-sight, much less the photographers themselves. 

Even if a photographer does manage to get lucky enough to snap a photo that captures the interest of the masses, their name is easily overlooked. Outright ignored, really. 

It’s a sad reality for many who are passionate about their work, but for Adrien, it’s exactly the kind of reason that would lead him to pursuing it.

As his 17th birthday was fast approaching, he started dropping hints around Nathalie and his bodyguard. How he’d like to see what it was like on the other side of the camera. How he wished his phone could capture images better in the dark. How nice it would be to not worry about phone storage when taking pictures and videos with his friends.

Nathalie had delivered him another gold-encrusted pen for his birthday, saying that it was a gift from his father. If he were being honest, he didn’t expect anything different. Hints don’t work on Nathalie, regardless if she caught on to them or not. She just does whatever she’s told, and if she’s not told to get Adrien a nice camera for his birthday, she more than likely won’t do it.

On the car ride to school, he shed a few tears when finding a neatly wrapped gift in the back of the car, signed by his bodyguard. He carefully opened it, not wishing to tear the colourful wrapping, and unearthed a polaroid camera within, with a small handwritten piece of paper containing instructions on how to properly handle it.

Before leaving the car, Adrien had lowered the window separating the back seats from the front, and bodily threw himself through it to give his bodyguard a hug around the shoulders, face stretched into a wide smile. With a murmured and slightly embarrassed ‘thank you,’ he packed the polaroid into his bag, burst out of the car, and rushed up the school steps towards his friends.

His bodyguard smiled, then had to exit the car because Adrien, in his excitement, had totally forgotten to slam the door shut before bolting off.

At first, Adrien used the camera for things any other typical teenaged boy would have used it for. He snapped selfies with his friends, took pictures of places he had been with them, and sometimes snuck a shot of Ladybug every once and a while when she was out solo. 

Then, he started to really notice how pretty Paris truly was.

He had brought it out one morning as Chat Noir, before the sun truly began to peek over the horizon. It was still a bit dark, for the most part, but you could hear activity everywhere, despite it being 5:00. After all, the city was known for it’s many bakeries, and bakers tend to wake very early in the morning before opening up shop. 

In this strange time where morning and night were hard to discern from one another, he had travelled around Paris and snapped as many photos as he could, until he completely ran out of film. He captured bakeries illuminated in a golden glow from within, bakers hard at work visible just through the glass windows. He captured a picture of an empty, unmoving carousel, shiny enough to reflect the light of the sun that’s just barely beginning to rise from hiding. He had captured a picture of an alley occupied by a colony of cats, curled up against each other and pressing against the back door of a flower shop, as though waiting for the kind old florist to wake up and feed them. 

His favourite picture, although he’s rather ashamed to admit, is a picture of Marinette’s balcony, the fairy lights overhead not yet scheduled to turn off on their own. He feels guilty to have taken it without her permission, but as he was passing by, he could hear the sound of her father down below, humming and singing happily to himself, and could smell the freshly bread. All his senses had been taken over with the overwhelming sense of warmth, and looking at her little balcony at that moment, surrounded by well-cared-for potted plants, illuminated by overhanging lights, decked out with a humble cable-spool table and lounge chair... He couldn’t help himself.

Something about Marinette’s balcony made him feel safe, just by looking at it.

(A traitorous voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Plagg had mused that Marinette, herself, was the source of that safe feeling. He had told that voice, rather snippily, to shut up.) 

Adrien continued to use more and more film as time went on, not only capturing moments between him and his friends, but slowly transitioning to take pictures removed from personal interactions. When he ran out, he would check the film size and rush out to buy more, having more than enough money to buy as much as he wished.

(He feels a small seed of guilt that his bodyguard went out of his way to use his own money in order to buy Adrien a gift. In truth, Adrien could easily have bought a camera for himself. He had only dropped those hints because he had hoped his father would care enough to put some thought into a birthday gift. Still, he is grateful that his bodyguard had cared enough in his father’s stead, and intends to show his appreciation by using the gift every single day.)

There was a brief hiccup, a few days later, when his polaroid would no longer capture pictures. He nearly had a heart attack, dreading that he had already broken his prized possession, but Marinette, bless her heart, had walked into class the next day and told him no, it was not broken. The battery is dead. Here is a new film cartridge. The cartridge is what holds the battery, and continues draining if you leave it in the polaroid. 

(He then admits to that tiny voice he had previously been a bitch to that, yeah, Marinette is his safe place. Sorry about last time. You were right. She’s a gift sent from heaven.) 

That lunch, Adrien asks how she knew about the cartridge. 

“Oh, I overheard Nino mentioning about how upset you were about it yesterday,” she said, averting her eyes shyly, but maintaining an even voice. “So, I asked your bodyguard where he got it from, and went to the shop to ask in person what the problem could be. The one you have is pretty special, since it’s kind of old and there’s not many answers online for problems it may have.”

In the years she and Adrien have known each other, her nervous stuttering had vanished, leaving behind a girl that Adrien found himself increasingly growing to love. He had always been fond of her since the day they met, having been the first person Adrien took the initiative in befriending. But as time went on, and she began to get comfortable around him, his fondness evolved into adoration.

And hearing how she went through all that trouble after school, just because she heard Nino mention in passing that he had been upset over his camera, made his chest swell with the full-force of all the adoration he had for her.

The affection he held made him feel fit to burst, and he couldn’t help but let some of it out in one of the most brilliant smiles he could give her. He reached across the lunchroom table, grabbed one of her hands, and gave it a tight squeeze. 

“Thank you,” he said, very much aware that the tone of his voice was bordering just on the side of ‘more than just friendly,’ but ignoring it in fear of bringing attention to that fact.

(A part of him preened at the blush that spread across her cheeks, making the darker freckles that she had gained over the summer stand out.)

Lunch ended, and time moved on. Marinette had the answers to many of his questions about the polaroid, having been thorough when she had asked the shop owner about it. (She always planned ahead.) She had spent more time with him to help, and encouraged him in his hobby. Sometimes, she would tag along in his exploration of the city, pointing out things he may like to capture. Even smaller things, like directly upwards into the branches of a tree, the sun just barely shining through the masses of leaves. Or a glass bottle of green tea, the light of the sun casting a shadow with shifting green light against a wooden table.

Marinette saw beauty and inspiration in everything, and he was beginning to see it, too. 

(He pins a picture he had taken of her sitting on the edge of a fountain to his desktop monitor, using a magnet to keep it in place. She’s looking into her own reflection, one hand placed on her head and the other between her knees to keep her dress and hat still against the wind. Her smile is radiant. He remembers her telling him to try taking a picture of the water, mentioning how beautiful it looks when the sunlight shines through it and onto the tiles below. He remembers thinking she must have been the source of that sunlight, because he could see no other sun.)

“You’ve gotten really good at this, Adrien,” Marinette says one day, sitting between Alya and Nino on her chaise. They’re all looking through the pictures he had taken that morning, of all the street performers they had seen and the antique shop they visited. 

“I totally agree, man,” Nino says. “Some of these look like they’re Renaissance paintings.”

“Think about what he could do with an upgrade,” Alya jests, not noticing how Adrien hunches his shoulders defensively. “If he can do this with a polaroid, imagine what he could do with a fancy high-tech—”

“I like the polaroid,” Marinette interrupts, coming to his rescue with a sweet smile. “It feels more personal. More loved, I guess? It just feels like it has more emotional value than it would if it were taken with anything else. I mean, could you really imagine the violin one having the same feeling if it were bigger and high-def?” 

Alya squints down at the violin photo, purses her lips, then nods with a sigh, conceding her point. “Yeah, you’re right. Some of these definitely wouldn’t be the same.”

“But some of the others would look better with a modern camera,” Nino notes. “Maybe not ditch the polaroid, but try out using both? You could get a feel for what looks better depending on the camera you use.” 

Adrien’s not happy with the idea at first. He adores his polaroid half as much as he adores Marinette. And, considering that he really adores Marinette, that’s quite the compliment. 

However, a month later, he hadn’t been able to get the thought out of his head. He grows frustrated at how some of the landscapes he tries to capture come out too blurry, which isn’t appealing without the use of a focal point close enough to be clearly captured in the front. He’s aware, now, that he can’t continue exploring his hobby when he’s met the absolute limits of his polaroid. 

He caves, googles ‘best photography cameras,’ and buys a Nikon ‘insert number here’ camera that he already knows he’s going to get irritated with in the near future. 

In preparation, he calls Marinette, because learning camera shit from strangers online never helped him in the past and probably never will. 

She answers on the first ring.

“Hey, Adri—”

“I just bought myself a kinda expensive camera online from this company called Nikon and I was wondering if you maybe possibly know how to work it?”

There’s a stretch of silence, before Marinette sighs. It’s soft and fond and not-at-all annoyed, and Adrien appreciates the lack of judgement she expresses in the face of learning her friend made a probably impulsive online purchase of a likely much more expensive than he implied camera.

“I’m free tomorrow after school,” she says. “You don’t have anything planned until the evening, right? Let’s go together to a tech shop and ask somebody who actually knows their stuff. You should probably write down the exact name of the camera so we can show it to them, too.”

Adrien agrees, delighted at getting to spend more time with her after school, and hangs up.

(He tries not to be too pleased that she pays enough attention to his schedule to know when he’s free.)

Soon, he knows the basics of the newer camera, and learns how to master it in the many months after it’s arrival. He still favours his polaroid, but can’t deny how much he loves to test the limits of his Nikon, now given much more room to explore his passion.

His passion.

It hadn’t occurred to him in the past that that was exactly what it was. He never would have thought it as anything but a hobby, but once again, it’s Marinette that makes him realise this fact about himself.

“You’re amazing, Adrien,” she had said, not looking up from the fabric she was sewing by hand. “You pour so much love and attention into all the photos you take. I really think you should try to go a little further with it, maybe enter a photography contest. A couple small ones, to start with.”

“You really think so?” he questioned, taken by a seed of doubt.

“Absolutely!” 

She finished her final stitch then, and rested the now-finished camisole over her knees. She looked up, blue eyes wide and happy, smiling so brightly he felt as though he would be blinded if he were to stare for too long.

“Me and Alya and Nino all love your work so much! And that’s not just because we’re friends and are obligated to. Besides, entering a contest is just another step in exploring your passion. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, because you’re putting yourself out there.”

She stops, then rolls her eyes at herself. “But, I mean, I will admit that it feels nicer to win. Point is, contests are challenges that push you to get better at the things you’re passionate about, and I really think you have the drive to power through it.”

She was right. She’s always right.

And really, who is he to doubt her, when she’s been putting herself out there, entering fashion contests and winning them, all on her own for years? Of course she knows what she’s talking about.

He enters a contest not even a week later. To the surprise of no one but himself, he wins it, and his picture gets featured in a magazine. 

It made him so happy he cried all over Marinette and Nino’s shirts, at multiple intervals in the day. 

It was foolish of him to not realise that he really, truly was passionate about his ‘little hobby.’ He doesn’t think he would cry 24 hours worth of happy tears because of a ‘little hobby.’

He doesn’t think, at the end of the school day before going home, he would get so happy and so grateful of Marinette’s encouragement that he’d kiss her, right on the lips, over a ‘little hobby.’

He doesn’t even notice until after he’s already being driven away from the school steps.

When he’s alone in his room, (or, as alone as he can be with a kwami that has to be by his side 24/7 in case of emergencies,) he feels emotionally exhausted, collapsing into his bed and staring up at the ceiling. As much as he’d like to think about the events of the day, especially the major fuck-up he had right before leaving school, his mind is ringing like a flatline. He tells Plagg to wake him up in a couple hours for patrol with Ladybug, then falls asleep, resigning himself to the fact that he won’t be able to deal with... All That until tomorrow morning.

When he wakes up, it’s to the stink of a wedge of camembert that’s dropped directly over his face. He immediately flings the disgusting thing away, letting it fly through the air and splat onto the wall on the other side of his room. He takes a moment to chase after a cackling Plagg all over his room, as per routine, before transforming and heading out to perform one of his many heroic responsibilities.

Plagg’s a little shit, but he never fails to make Adrien feel a little better.

He meets up with Ladybug at a secluded, unremarkable rooftop. She seems distracted about something, so before they leave, he asks her what’s wrong.

“Something happened in my civilian life,” she says, eyes not quite meeting his. “You wouldn’t want to hear about it.”

“Try me,” he says, smirking a little. 

“No, Chat,” she says, expression looking pained. “I mean, I really don’t think you’d want to hear it. It’s... It’s about my crush.”

Three years ago, he would have been hurt.

He’s surprised to find that he doesn’t feel even a fraction of that hurt, now.

(He wonders what that means.)

“Go on,” he says, finding no reason to stop the conversation, and not really bothered to want to. “I’m fine, my lady. Tell me what’s bugging you.”

She looks surprised for a moment, at the sincerity of his tone, and almost says something before snapping her mouth shut. 

She glares at him when she realises the pun he tried to slip in there without her notice. 

His smile widens into something a little obnoxious, so she smacks his chest. He laughs.

“The guy I have a crush on,” she finally says. “He, uh. He kissed me recently.”

“Oh, huh,” he says, surprised. After all, it’s been years since she’s had a crush on this guy. A part of him felt like things were just going to stay the same forever, him always pining after Ladybug and her pining after some guy and that guy never doing anything about it.

Thinking on it, though, he realises that’s a pretty stupid thought. It’s not like she was going to have a blushy teenaged unrequited crush for the rest of her life. People grow up, and sooner or later she was going to end up happily dating a guy, get married, have kids, work her dream job... 

They’re not 13 anymore. The way kids view and experience romantic love changes as they get older. Maybe that’s why her crush finally realised what he was missing.

Maybe that’s why Chat doesn’t feel devastated.

Maybe he’s grown up, too. 

(Maybe he’s just so used to feeling disappointed that he no longer registers the feeling anymore. After all, he doesn’t think he feels anything in regards to his father, now. Not anymore.) 

(But he still loves him, right? You never just stop loving somebody.)

“Isn’t that a good thing?” he finally says. “Why do you seem so bothered?”

“I haven’t spoken to him since,” she says. “It just happened pretty suddenly. I really like him, and I’m pretty sure he likes me too, but I’m kind of worried. He was super emotional to– that day, so I don’t think he meant to do that intentionally. If he wasn’t ready, then that means he might not be ready to date me, and I don’t want to push him, no matter how much I like him.”

“Why wouldn’t he be ready? He likes you, doesn’t he?”

Ladybug sighs. “Just because a person likes another person, doesn’t mean they’re prepared to commit to a relationship. Sometimes that’s the reason a person won’t confess their feelings.”

He frowns, not entirely understanding, but at the same time, understanding to a point.

He was desperate, in the past, in trying to ask her out. And, looking back at himself now, he doesn’t think he was ready to be in a committed relationship. In fact, his behavior had been downright bratty on many instances. Even if she did end up agreeing to date him, she was leagues more mature than he was, and it would have been a complete disaster. 

He would have driven her up the fucking wall, with his attitude. 

He hadn’t feared commitment, but he definitely hadn’t been ready for it.

“Well, I suppose there’s no help in worrying,” he says. “I mean, there’s not much you can do until you talk to him. So instead of letting it get you anxious, why don’t we distract you?”

He smirks. 

“I bet I could beat you to the Louvre. Starting from here, no yo-yo, no baton.”

In an instant, her eyes sharpen and burn with a competitive fire, clearly putting her worries on hold in the face of a challenge.

“You’re gonna lose that bet, Chaton.”

He lost that bet.

The next morning, he only remembers about his own kissing problem when he sees Marinette on the school steps. She’s biting at her lip and shifting her legs back and forth, wearing a pastel pink knit sweater, white leggings, and pink sneakers. 

She looks adorable. It’s a shame he can’t really let himself appreciate that until he’s sorted things out with her. He’s itching to snap a photo, another one to pin against one of the corners of his desktop, but this conversation takes priority.

“Hey, Marinette,” he says, catching her attention. “Do you wanna talk? Privately? Like, maybe–”

“We can talk at lunch,” she says, sighing in relief, but still looking just a tad nervous. “We’ll go to my place, eat some leftover quiche, and talk things out in my room, if that’s okay?”

She jumps a bit as a memory hits her.

“Oh! But we might need to sneak you in without my parents noticing. They’ll be... nosy, if I only bring you.”

Adrien nods and laughs. He didn’t understand why Marinette seemed to hate it when her parents peeked into her room all the time when she had guests, at first, but he’s come to realise they only ever seemed to do that if she was alone with a single guest.

Which means Marinette’s just embarrassed that her parents are making wiggly suggestive eyebrow expressions at her every time they think she’s alone with a possible love interest. It’s probably more embarrassing for her because she and Adrien are just friends, so not only are they being embarrassing, but they’re getting the wrong idea.

Sure, he adores Marinette, but he’s not in love with her.

(He fell in love with Ladybug, after all. You never just stop loving somebody.)

So, when lunch comes around, Marinette makes it a personal Mission™ to sneak Adrien into her room without either of her parents’ notice. Which means she leads him past the bakery, towards another store, has him climb up a freaking ladder towards the roof, and gives him instructions on how to get to her balcony without getting hurt.

He decides to question why the hell she knows a path to sneak people in and out of her bedroom at a later date. Priorities.

“So,” Marinette starts, watching as Adrien takes a large bite out of his piece of quiche. She leaves her own untouched. “My first question, I guess, is why you kissed me.”

Adrien swallows and frowns. He’s a little angry at himself for not even thinking about it before lunch, because it means sorting it all out in front of her. 

“I don’t really know,” he says honestly. “I was really happy yesterday, but I was also sort of a sobbing mess. I didn’t even realise I did it until after I left. Maybe I just got... caught up in the moment?”

Marinette doesn’t seem to have any reaction to that. In fact, she looks at him like she knows something he doesn’t.

“Caught up in the moment, huh...”

She sighs.

“Well, I guess that would be a probable excuse, if you had done it the moment you found out the good news. But it doesn’t really make sense when you already let out the biggest burst of your happiness previously. It was the end of the day, I’d think you’d be too exhausted to get ‘caught up in the moment’ again.”

Adrien hums and nods, brow furrowed. Her logic is sound, which means there would have to be another reason he did it. People don’t just mindlessly kiss other people, and it certainly hadn’t been an accident. You don’t ‘accidentally’ cusp your hands against someone’s face and pull them in for a kiss.

“Let’s try something else,” Marinette says. “You look like you’re about to burst a blood vessel, so let’s go about this an easier way.”

Adrien laughs and motions her to continue.

“What were you thinking about before you kissed me?”

He can recall exactly what he was thinking, word for word. Just remembering it makes his heart speed up, and he feels a little embarrassed that he may have to tell her. A part of him wants to maybe rephrase it, or say he was thinking something else, but Marinette hates liars. And above all else, he never wants Marinette to be disappointed in him.

“I was thinking about how incredible you are,” he whispers. He’s not quite sure why he’s whispering, but it feels like he wouldn’t be able to say it otherwise if he were any louder. “You’re like the sun. You brighten up my day, you help me grow and flourish as a person, and everything about you makes me feel warm and safe and content. You make me want to do better, try harder. If it weren’t for you, I never would have entered that contest. If it weren’t for you, I would have never pursued my passion. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have even realised that I had a passion. You, just being there, in my life, have changed it in so many big, wonderful ways. I honestly can’t imagine my life without you in it, and I never want to. I absolutely adore you.”

Marinette’s eyes are wide with awe, her cheeks stained a dark, rosy pink. Her freckles have faded, but they’re still there, even more noticeable over the flush that reddens her skin. Her mouth is parted, lips shimmering with a glittery pink lip-gloss with gold flecks and– and–

He feels a pull, and instantly recognises it as the same feeling he had just before kissing Marinette the other day. In a panic, he resists it, stomping it down. Where had that come from? Why is he feeling that now? He’s nowhere near as emotional as he was yesterday, this shouldn’t be happening, so why—

“Adrien,” Marinette whispers. She brings her hands up and rests her palms on either side of his face, thumbs stroking softly against his cheeks. Her touch is warm and electrifying, and the drum of his heart turns into thunder. Resisting is getting harder and harder.

“What did it feel like when you kissed me? In that moment?” 

If his thoughts before the kiss were vivid, his memory of the kiss itself is like a brand. Maybe he hadn’t realised exactly what he was doing, but the ecstasy he had felt, the fluttering of a million ladybugs unfurling in his stomach and the dizzying pleasure and warmth– oh, he had tried hard not to think about the events that had occurred, and now he knows why. He feels as though his heart can’t take it, like his chest is about to burst open. 

“Guh–Good,” he says, rather lamely, might he add. In his defense, he has a sneaking suspicion that if he were to say all that out loud, it may very easily kill him. “It felt very nice.”

She smiles, cheeks turning even redder. The thought of pressing his lips against that smile rises up, unbidden. It makes his heart jump, and he quickly shoves it back down.

“Have you ever felt anything like that before? Anything close to that? Or... Can you think of someone else who would make you feel like that?”

Instinctually, he wants to say Ladybug. 

But then his brain hits the brakes, skids off the road, and crashes into a pole.

Because, for one, he never actually remembers having kissed Ladybug before.

And secondly, he can’t honestly say that, if Ladybug were to kiss him now, he would feel even a fraction of the intensity he had felt when kissing Marinette. 

Kissing Marinette had been so perfect, his soul had decided to get drunk off the leftover dopamine and leave his body on autopilot for the next 10 minutes. 

The idea of kissing Ladybug makes him feel... Nothing. Nothing at all.

(But you can’t just stop loving someone. You can’t, you can’t, you CAN’T.)

“Adrien? Hey, are you okay?”

Love is supposed to be forever. It can’t be that easy to stop. It’s not. 

“Adrien, you’re crying! Please answer me, are you alright?”

How could he stop loving Ladybug?

Has he stopped loving his father?

Has he stopped loving his mother?

“Adrien, you’re scaring me.”

The sound of Marinette letting out a sob immediately brings him back down to reality. It’s a distinctive sound that he’s only ever heard a few times before, and each time he’s witnessed it, it left his heart breaking.

Tears have not yet rolled down her cheeks, but her eyes are watery, and if she were to blink, they would certainly spill. He doesn’t hesitate to pull out a handkerchief, the one Marinette had made for him his last birthday, and dab the wetness away from her eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Adrien,” she says. “I made you upset. I shouldn’t have asked those questions, you weren’t ready for it.”

“I made you upset,” he says, aghast that she even felt the need to apologise when she had done nothing wrong. “I made you cry.”

“I didn’t shed a single tear,” she says stubbornly, almost petulantly. His lips quirk up at it, fond and loving.

And that’s the last revelation, isn’t it?

He is no longer in love with Ladybug. That is a fact, no matter how scared he is to admit it. Sure, he loves her, but as his friend and partner. The torch he once held for her has long since extinguished.

Now, though, without the excuse of Ladybug for him to hide behind, he can’t deny the raw and overwhelming affection that he has for Marinette. He can’t reason away that he’s only holding her hand so they won’t get separated. He can’t pretend as though he doesn’t have his desktop utterly framed in candid polaroid pictures of her and her beautiful smile. He can’t lie and tell people he and Marinette are just friends. 

He can barely resist how much he really, really wants to kiss her.

“Oh,” he says in realisation. “You know. You know that I’m in love with you.”

Marinette smiles, taking the handkerchief from his hand and bringing it up to wipe his own tear-stained face.

“Yeah, I do,” she says softly. “But I also knew that you didn’t know. And, if I’m being honest, it seemed like... You weren’t ready to know. Maybe because you didn’t want to, or because you weren't over that other girl–”

Adrien sucks in a sharp breath, and her smile turns a little weak.

“Yeah, I... It seemed pretty obvious. I thought it was Kagami at first, but she seems to be under the impression that I’m the girl you’ve been chasing for the past three years, which I know isn’t true. I don’t remember ever rejecting you. Besides, you wouldn’t have asked me to help you ask out another girl if you had any romantic interest in me.”

He wonders, really, if that was true. Because he’s been knee-deep in denial, and he doesn’t know how far back that denial went. 

He stared an awful lot at Marinette and Luka, that day.

He ditched Kagami when Marinette seemed upset.

(Damn he hates it when Plagg’s right.)

And it goes back farther than that, doesn’t it?

The special Marinette Lucky Charm. Dragging her onto the dance floor and slow dancing with her at Chloé’s party. 

Oh, shit.

He definitely felt disappointed when he didn’t get to kiss Marinette for Nino’s school film. In fact, he felt, what he thought to be, a good amount of irrational anger towards Chloé for interrupting. 

“I think I’ve liked you for a lot longer than you believe.” 

Marinette frowns, not quite believing him, but choosing not to question it.

“For what it’s worth,” he continues. “I also don’t... I don’t like that other girl anymore. I haven’t for a long time, I think.”

“Oh,” is all Marinette says.

A silence comes and goes.

“What are we going to do about this, now?” Adrien questions. 

“I’m fine with whatever you decide,” she says. Then, after a moment, smirks at him rather devilishly. “I mean, that’s assuming you are the gentleman I believe you to be, and aren’t going to ask for the horizontal tango–”

“Oh my GOD, MARINETTE!”

They decide to go out on a date next Wednesday. 

It was a whole day to themselves. They woke up in the morning and met up at the park, laying down a blanket to have a nice picnic breakfast together. Adrien had brought his polaroid and had taken every opportunity he could to capture Marinette’s beauty, from her shimmery golden skirt and white sweater, to her brilliant smile and pink cheeks. 

After breakfast, they drove to Jeu de Paume, a modern and postmodern photography and media museum. It was a place Marinette had suggested, saying that it would be fun and provide him with some useful tips. She wasn’t wrong about that. She’s never wrong.

After that, they returned to Marinette’s home and had lunch with her family. While this shouldn’t be anything new to him, it’s the first time he’s ever eaten lunch with them with the knowledge that he is now dating their daughter.

Tom seems completely set on the idea of him taking over the bakery. He is not surprised. He went through this same conversation before, although last time he was rejecting Marinette and got her father akumatised. (Yikes.)

It’s a slight surprise that her dream pet is still, apparently, a hamster named Nightmare. No, the name Nightmare is not a mistake. That is literally what she wants to name it.

(He once again has to resist the urge to kiss her. Seems like a bad idea to even attempt that in front of her parents, much less on a first date. But can you really blame him? Nightmare the hamster. She’s fucking adorable.)

After lunch, it’s an Ultimate Mecha Strike IV showdown with the whole family. Marinette, naturally, decimates them all, which later forces them to switch to Battle Royale mode with all four controllers and have them team up in order to beat Marinette’s mecha into a pulp. That, too, utterly fails, and Adrien is surprised to hear Sabine yell out a plethora of not-so-child-friendly things in Mandarin, then spectacularly rage quit by throwing her controller into the air, pointing an accusatory finger at Marinette, and yell “You’re grounded, young lady!”

It was the funniest thing he had ever seen in his life. 

After that, he and Marinette said goodbye and walked towards the nearest theatre. They crossed over a bridge, and Adrien deliberately fell a little behind so he could snap a shot of her walking in front of him. The sky was orange and red, and the golden ribbons tied to the buns in her hair trailed behind her, catching the wind. It was another to pin around his desktop.

He’s probably going to need a corkboard at this rate, actually. He doesn’t remember there being any more space for another picture to frame his desktops. (And he, technically, has three, so that’s saying something.)

They watch a Pokémon movie. Screw romantic clichés with horror films or romcoms. Besides, who says watching a cartoon can’t be romantic?

Because, Adrien believes, really, that the most romantic experience he’s ever had is the feeling of Marinette lowering the armrest between them so she can lean against his shoulder and drape her legs over his lap.

Adrien never thought pretty girls who curled against him were all that dangerous, at most they were uncomfortable and irritating. But none of those pretty girls had been Marinette, and boy, was she dangerous. The smell of her perfume, her arm intertwined with his, the little noises she made in reaction to the plot of the movie, (because unlike him, she was actually paying attention,) it was all, for the lack of a better word, dangerous.

Adrien’s always been a bit of a risk taker, though. 

When the movie ends, Marinette insists that they eat dinner at her house instead of a fancy restaurant that she knows he wants to take her to. She easily gets him to agree, bribing him with the fact that he could stick around a while after eating. He makes her promise, in return, that he gets to pay and plan their next date, since she had totally taken control of this one. 

He’s glad he let himself be so easily swayed, because this is the most time he’s spent with a full, happy family in a single day, and he can’t help but bask in it. 

They end the day cuddling up on Marinette’s balcony, sharing the lounge chair. Just in front of them is a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower, and down below Marinette’s parents are listening to a gentle romantic tune. Marinette’s fairy lights automatically turn on as the time finally hits 19:00, although it feels as though time isn’t moving at all. 

With a smile, Adrien reaches into his bag and pulls out his digital camera, knowing that it’s gotten too dark for the polaroid. He captures an image of Marinette’s balcony, their feet curled together at the bottom, a string of her fairy lights hanging low enough to be seen at the top, and her plants framing everything on both sides. The silhouette of the Eiffel Tower is just past everything, with a purplish red sky behind it. 

“You know,” Marinette murmurs against his collar bone, one eye open to peer at the picture he had just taken. “You could make a photography blog. Don’t share it on any of your celebrity social media, but still put your name on it and wait until someone notices.”

Adrien snorts.

“That sounds exactly like the kind of move I would pull.”

“Exactly,” Marinette grins. “That means you should totally do it. It’s an obligation, now. You have to stay true to your character.”

He laughs.

Two nights later, despite the fact that she had clearly been joking, he does exactly that.

He posted every picture he had that didn’t explicitly show either his or the faces of his friends, 5 pictures a night. Lots of aesthetic bloggers and whatnot followed him, and some people who simply had a passion for photography as well. He never captioned any of his work, simply loading and posting. It took about a month later for someone to finally connect his name to his modelling career, and even then, they had believed it was either a joke or just some dude with the same name. (They were American, and probably hadn’t realised that ‘Agreste’ was, by no means, a common family name in Paris, France.)

Three years later of this same routine, Adrien finally captions a photo. It’s a picture at a restaurant at the top of the Eiffel Tower, that alone being a breathtaking sight. At the very bottom of the picture, two hands are intertwined, glimmering rings taking the focus. Next to their hands are two wine glasses, half-full, with the barely visible outlines of their faces reflected onto the surfaces. 

She Said Yes

The picture was beautiful, and quickly gained a lot of attention. 

Adrien Agreste knew, eventually, that a picture like this will at some point get people to realise who he truly is, but that more than likely won’t happen for a while. Most people ignore the names of photographers, anyways. And no one’s going to try too hard to analyse his face in the wine glass for quite some time. (Really, if someone does, who’s gonna believe them? People who actually try that hard to figure out a stranger’s identity are often considered conspiracy/crack theorists.)

In the meantime, while they wait for the day to come, he’s going to be busy helping out in the bakery, taking photographs, and modelling the latest fashion line for La Coccinelle. She’s going to be busy designing a new bridal line along with her own dress, which she’ll be sewing herself, and managing her growing fashion empire, crushing Gabriel Agreste in the process. 

And they’re both going to be busy planning their wedding.

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LovelyRose269 : Hey is it just me or is that fucking Adrien Agreste???

CarolineBabey : @LovelyRose269 What?

JaredCantRead : @LovelyRose269 ok i literally just checked and it says its taken by adrien agreste so i mean i guess it is? ur right

LovelyRose269 : @JaredCantRead I’M RIGHT??? W H A T

MarinetteFanclubPresident : uhhhhh okay I just saw a recent candid of Adrien and Marinette and I looked at their hands and their engagement rings match this picture guys look at this [image] [image]

LovelyRose269 : OH MGOD I JUST CHEKCED IT UP ITS T RUE

FashionBuzz : k i just got here and saw everyone screaming abt MDC’s fiancé whats going on

FashionBuzz : im thirsty for gossip pls respond

Marinette-Dupain-Cheng [verified] : @FashionBuzz Chloé I know it’s you quit pretending to be a photography fan and just ask us yourself u coward

FashionBuzz : @Marinette-Dupain-Cheng ew no fuck off id rather ask the nerds

CarolineBabey : @FashionBuzz OH MY GOD?

JaredCantRead : @FashionBuzz Oh my god

LovelyRose269 : @FashionBuzz OH MY FUCKING GOD??????

MarinetteFanclubPresident : @Marinette-Dupain-Cheng wait wait wait HOLD UP DOES THAT MEAN IT’S TRUE?

Adrien-Dupain-Cheng  : Hey. You guys weren’t supposed to figure it out yet. Stop being smart. 

FashionBuzz : @Adrien-Dupain-Cheng lmao you changed your user and lost your verification you fucking moron

Adrien-Dupain-Cheng : @FashionBuzz FUCK

DoneWithEverything : am I having a fucking stroke or did the mayor of Paris actually fucking set up a stealth account and is trying to stalk her own friends online

DoneWithEveryone : Uhhh am I having a second stroke or did the mayor of Paris publicly call her childhood best friend a fucking moron

LeatherClaws : Hey am I literally the only person who thinks the guy in the wine glass looks like Chat Noir. Anybody?

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Sup guys hope you enjoyed. I did not proof read much like... at all, because I wrote this in a single day and it’s been a headache having to do that while also deal with my kitty, who is desperately in need of attention and love.

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Taking a risk- MariChat Month Day 7

So my orginal plan was to do everyday, but since I’m just starting out writing ML stuff, I thought it best not to overwhelm myself and just do prompts I can come up with ideas for @marichatmay. Next week of course has a lot of prompts I want to do. Also, I had to go looking for a pun generator for the pun that’s in here. Maybe one day it’ll flow naturally. I also poked a little at a fav headcannon of mine, that Luka knows who Ladybug and Chat Noir are under the masks. He just seems to have the way of him that I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true. So enjoy hopefully. Disguise 

This was so risky. She helped Adrien escape fans just so he could go watch a movie, which did result in an Akuma. But she handled it. An Akumatized bodyguard who really wanted to protect his charge, but she handled it none the less. She could handle this. She hoped.

In her attempts to move on from Adrien and to not string Luka along, she’d planned on giving up dating. It’s not like she planned to date her partner outside of the spotted spandex. The leather wearing kitty would come over constantly, especially after his failed date with Ladybug. Even after she had to reject him – and caused her dad to become Akumatized – he still came. It just happened one night, she’d been ranting about Lila, Chat had been staring at her and then he kissed her. She’d kissed Chat before when he was under Dark Cupid’s spell and according to Alya when they lost their memories, right before she summoned Miraculous Ladybug. But there was something about this one that was different. She could of ignored him, pushed him away, but...she wanted a chance. He was a pun loving cat, with a heart of gold and she wanted to be the one that made him smile. Maybe she felt more like she could do it when she told Luka she couldn’t be with him.

“Are you mad?” she’d asked, ignoring the ruckus of the band setting up above deck.

Luka was giving her that understanding smile. “I won’t say that it doesn’t hurt, but I want you to be happy and if it’s with another guy, then I can’t stand in the way. It’ll take a while for me to get over you but I promise it won’t change our friendship. Do you think it’s ok if I ask who it is? Is it still Adrien?”

She shook her head. “I’m getting over him. It’s, oh god, ok you need to promise not to tell anyone. I haven’t even told Alya because I’m scared she might post on her blog.”

“Why would she do that? Her blog is about superheroes.”

“Cause it’s Chat Noir.”

There was this look on his face as he tried to bite down a smile, but Marinette saw it.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing. I think he’d be an amazing guy for you.” She believed him but there was something about that smile on his face.

“But it’s so irresponsible. He’s a hero, one of the defences against Hawkmoth. I should be staying away so I’m not used as bait. You know Chat Noir, he’s always taking hits for everyone. He’d give himself up in a second to protect people.”

“Marinette, sometimes no matter how much we try to control it, sometimes our feelings can’t be stopped, even if it means taking risks. Isn’t that what falling in love is? Taking risks? And Hawkmoth might never know what you mean to Chat Noir if you get together, but he’ll target you anyway when your mad, or upset or it feels like everything is spiralling down because he take advantage of our worst emotions. Wouldn’t it be better if you had Chat Noir in your corner to help protect you?”

Not that she needed protecting but she got his point. Yes it was more dangerous for her to be Akumatized because she had the Ladybug Miraculous, but a huge part of her just wanted to break away from all those expectations she put on herself. She placed so much pressure to be perfect as Ladybug but when she was herself with Chat, she didn’t have to be perfect. Maybe it was because she already felt as ease with Chat, but she wanted to feel like that all the time.

So after they kissed and a well timed Akuma, Chat came back, looking conflicted.

“I know I rejected you before and you have every right to say no, but as I’ve been moving on from Ladybug, I’ve gained feelings for you Marinette. I wasn’t going to do anything, after I rejected you but I kissed you and, it didn’t seem right but the whole time I was fighting that Akuma, all I could think about was kissing you again.”

He hadn’t been alone in that regard.

“So let’s go on a date.” She suggested, before he could talk himself out of this. “we go on a date, without my parents around and we see where we go from there.”

Of course, there was a problem. Most nights, Ladybug and Chat Noir did patrols, and it would look weird if Ladybug said yes to him opting out one night to go woo someone. Marinette couldn’t do early morning dates, not with her parents already up at that time and the fact that she was so close, any classmate would see her. Dates in her room would feel like too much like hanging out. Doing it outside was the best bet, but he was Chat Noir, everyone knew him. She thought there would be no chance when she remembered what she had to do with Adrien. Except now, she’d have time to prepare.

So here she was, waiting on the bank of the Seine, where she had met Master Fu’s lover. It was out of the way but it would still be easy for Chat to find her. She looked down at the clothes she had made the night before in preparation for this.

“Tikki, I’m I crazy for doing this?” she asked, looking down at her cross body bag, where her Kwami was hiding.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to go on a date. Your only rule was that you don’t know each other’s identities, not that if being with him makes you happy that you would give it a chance. He does make you happy doesn’t he Marinette?”

“Of course he does. He’s Chat. He’s sweet, has a heart of gold and makes me feel so important. I mean, everyone loves Ladybug, but when it’s the two of us, it feels like he likes me more.” There were other good feeling emotions she felt when with Chat, but she couldn’t put a name to, not yet anyway.

“Then take this chance Marinette. You deserve it. Oh, incoming!” Tikki warned as she ducked back into the bag as Chat landed near her.

“Princess.” he greeted, the stupid but loveable smile on his face. “Ready for me to woo you?”

She could see the mask he was wearing to hide his nerves. She pushed the clothes to him. “Go change chaton. We’ll see how lucky you get.”

The black joggers went over Chat’s boots easily and the oversized Rena Rouge inspired hoodie hid everything else. Chat stood still as she pulled the hood up to cover his ears, pushing some of his hair back to help keep his mask hidden. When she realised how close she was, she felt her cheeks get red and backed away.

“Um if we’re lucky, no one will see your mask and we should be fine. So where are you taking me?”

“I thought bounding up the Eiffel Tower was asking to get us caught, so I have another plan. Do you like flowers?”

Maybe it was the ladybug tendencies that became part of her after she put in her earrings, but she was much more in love with flowers than she’d been before.

“Yes?”

“There’s a flower bazaar at the Trocadéro Gardens.”

“That’s a lot of people. Someone might recognise you.” Marinette pointed out.

“Well, you did say you wanted to try using flowers as inspiration. What better place?”

Ok, she did say that, and usually she wouldn’t get the chance to if she went with other people, except maybe Alya, because she wouldn’t want to seem like a bother, but here Chat was offering for her to do just that.

“How are we going to get there? We’d have to catch the metro if we’re going normally.

Chat gave her a mischievous look before sweeping her up off her feet.

“I thought you said you couldn’t go jumping around to the Effle Tower.”

“Yeah, to the Eiffel Tower. This is just next to it. Hold on!”

                                                  ____________

Chat watched Marinette take photos of many different flowers, going a mile a minute about how dresses could look with the different petal effects and the different soft or vibrant colours. He loved seeing this side of Marinette. As Adrien, it was hard to see that side, but as Chat...he knew eventually he’d have to tell her but for moments like this, just seeing the excited look on her face, he wanted to keep it a secret. Just a bit longer.

“Look at this colour! My uncle just sent me these sewing sheets for cheongsam. This colour would go so well on my mom.” Marinette said, fingering the petals of a pale purple flower. “I’m going to get one.” Marinette said, taking out her wallet and double checking her money when the flower appeared under her nose. She looked over at Chat who was holding it out to her. “How did…?”

“Ladybug has a subspace pocket in her yoyo, I have actual pockets.”

Marinette took the flower, unable to keep a faint blush from her cheeks. Chat acted like a suave prince, though she knew better, but sometimes just the simple things are what got her.

“Marinette!”

the soft moment was broken when she heard a very familiar voice call her name. She turned and the holder of the Miraculous that was the inspiration to the hoodie Chat was in came running towards her.

“Alya?”

She let her best friend pull her into a hug, just seeing Chat pull the hood down lower. Nino came over at a much slower pace.

“I thought you said you were busy today. We would of invited you if you weren’t.” Alya said.

“We’re mostly here to look for arrangements for her parents’ anniversary dinner. Provided she doesn’t poison them.” Nino teased. Alya was good with tech, kids and gossip, not cooking.

“Shut up. What are you doing here? Browsing?”

“Um,” she started, glancing over at Chat, which of course Alya caught.

“oh, Mari-nette.” She sing songed, “You should of told me you were on a date. Now, I know Adrien is grounded, for whatever reason his father decided to come up with last minute and I saw Luka with his sister and her girlfriend at a perfume making station, so this one anyone we know?”

Normally, she’d tell Alya. She’d been there during her whole star with Adrien and the question between him and Luka, but this was one she couldn’t tell her about. She put information about The Guardians up on her blog. She trusted Alya, just not with the superhero side of things.

“We met at uh…”

“I work for Jagged Stone.” Chat got out.

“That’s right! He asked me to help make a design that he wants on a jacket of his and he’s Penny’s assistant who works just as much as she does, so we divided and conquered.

“Oh that’s cool. Though I’m sure spending time alone with him must be pretty nice too.” Alya whispered. Marinette struggled not to go red. “Well, we’ll leave you two kids alone. Nice meeting you and I love the jacket.”

once Alya and Nino had been eaten by the crowd, Marinette could breath again.

“She believed that really well.” Chat said, deciding that moving would be a better idea for them.

“I guess it helps that Jagged Stone really likes my work. It would be kinda cool to dress him one day though.”

“Yeah? What about me if you had the chance?” Chat asked, flexing his arms, causing Marinette to roll her eyes.

“Maybe less leather.”

“Hey, I like my leather. I think me and Jagged Stone would be birds of a leather.”

“Oh my god, why do I like you?” Marinette asked out loud, not seeming to notice what she said.

Chat leaned down and whispered in her ear. “I don’t know, you tell me. I’d love to hear your reasons as to why you like me.”

Marinette felt her face get red, close to almost fainting. Was this going to be worth it? Seeing that stupid smirk and wanting nothing more than to flip it around so he was the blushing one. She wasn’t sure yet, but she was willing to try and find out.

[miraculousshipping]

When you can’t have one...

Pairings: Lovesquare: Adrienette, Marichat

Warnings: Tooth-Rotting Fluff

Summary: 

A/N: Okay I kid you not, I started writing this fic hours before Chat Blanc premiered because I figured we'd all need some fluff afterwards and this is a post-reveal fic that involves Gabriel not letting Adrien and Marinette date and I was so not expecting to see that shit in Chat Blanc! So yeah, think of this as a "this is how it should have happened" post-reveal fic! I hope you enjoy, because I think we could all use some fluff after that.

Read on: Ao3 | FF

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"That last akuma was pretty difficult." Ladybug says after she and Chat Noir land on the roof of the Agreste Mansion.

"Yeah, but there's no akuma too challenging for m'lady to handle." Chat Noir says and holds her hand before pressing a kiss to the back of it.

"Well I couldn't have done it without my amazing partner." Ladybug says and steps to the edge of the roof.

She turns around and throws her yoyo to wrap around a pole before wrapping her arm around Chat's waist. They both jump off the balcony and then swing into Adrien's room through his open window, which he had left open when he went to fight the akuma with Ladybug.

Once their feet hit the floor, they de-transformed and Plagg and Tikki flew over to Adrien's bed and collapsed in exhaustion.

"Ugh! That must have been the most exhausting fight I've ever had!" Plagg whines.

"Sugar cube how are you holding up?"

"Barely." Tikki says hoarsely.

"I haven't powered a ladybug for that long in centuries!"

"I'm sorry for taking so long to figure out when to use the lucky charm Tikki." Marinette apologizes.

"But I have special treats that I was planning on giving to you and Plagg anyway, but now they're a reward for a job well done." Marinette says and pulls a little bag out of her purse with some pastries in it.

Plagg and Tikki's face's light up in excitement and they quickly fly over to Marinette.

"Whoa! What are those?" Plagg asks as Marinette pulls two pastries out of the bag.

"They're yummy pastries! And they're perfectly baked. They look so flaky." Tikki says.

Plagg sniffed it and then he gasped and did a flip in the air.

"And they smell like cheese too!" Plagg exclaims.

"Yep. These are called cream cheese danishes. Since I know Tikki loves sweets and Plagg loves cheese, I thought I'd make a treat for you two that has both!" Marinette says.

Plagg and Tiki both take one from her hand and take their first bites.

"What do you think?" Marinette asks.

"They're amazing!" Tikki exclaims.

"This cheese tastes like cheese but it's sweet too! You're some kind of a baking genius Marinette!" Plagg praises.

Marinette laughed.

"Aw, thanks Plagg but I'm not the one who came up with the idea for this type of dessert. I just followed the recipe from one of my dad's books." Marinette explains.

"But you are the one who made them." Adrien tells her.

Marinette blushes as he looks at her with that adoring look in his eyes.

"And it sounds like they taste delicious. Did you by any chance bring some for me?" He asks sheepishly.

Marinette laughs at her boyfriend's failure at subtlety and goes over to his desk and places her hand over a cookie tin.

"I swung by earlier and dropped this off for you." She says.

Adrien's face lit up like a Christmas tree and he ran over to the desk and yanked the lid off of the tin. His mouth watered at the sight of not only the danishes but the other macaroons,cookies, and croissants inside as well.

"Thank you so much Marinette!" Adrien shouts.

Marinette squealed in delight as Adrien lifted her off of the ground and spun her around in his arms.

"You're welcome, but why are you so excited? You act like you've never had sweets or croissants before." Marinette asks.

Adrien's smile fell a bit and he set her down.

"Well, I mean I have had those things before. My father always makes sure the food we eat is the best that money can buy, but no amount of money in the world could compare to the love that you put into everything you and your parents make." Adrien says.

"Aw, Adrien you're too sweet." Marinette says and looks upon him fondly.

"I bet these macaroons are sweeter." Adrien says and takes a bite out of one.

Marinette laughs and places her hands on his chest and moves in closer to him.

"We'll see about that kitty." Marinette says.

She stands on her tiptoes and bites the rest of the macaroon that hung out of Adrien's mouth. When she pulled back both of them were blushing as they chewed the sweet. Then they turned away from each other as they heard their kwamis get excited over something.

"This bed is amazing sugar cube!" Plagg says while Tikki laid down on Adrien's bed.

"Not only is it huge, but it can do so many different things with this remote! Watch this!"

Plagg presses a button and then the head of the bed where the pillows lay rose up.

"Wow it's like a slide now! Whee!" Tikki says and slides down the bed.

Marinette and Adrien laughed at their kwami's antics.

"And that's not all! It can also give you the most relaxing massage." Plagg explains and clicks another button.

Tikki started vibrating on the bed and Plagg laid down next to her.

"How does it feel sugar cube?" Plagg asks, his voice sounding strange due to the vibrations from the bed.

"It feels relaxing." Tikki says, her voice vibrating as well.

"Just what a kwami needs after a tough battle against an akuma."

Adrien giggles a bit then looks at Marinette and notices she's staring longingly at the bed. He recognized that look.

"Would you like to lay down Marinette?" Adrien asks, holding his hand out towards the bed.

"You're probably just as exhausted as Tikki. You should lay down and relax too."

"Oh Adrien that does sound nice, but as soon as I lay down I doubt I'll be able to get back up. Tikki and I can't stay here much longer. At any minute your dad, Nathalie, or your bodyguard could walk in on us. What would they think if they saw me in here and lying on your bed?!" Marinette shouts, suddenly very anxious about her current situation.

Adrien puts one of his hands on her shoulder in reassurance and holds his finger up to his lips while making a shushing noise.

"Don't worry about any of that m'lady." Adrien says with an easy grin.

"My father is at a conference in London, Nathalie's chained to her desk with work, and my bodyguard's only guarding the front door, he's not checking the house to see if I'm in my room or not." Adrien explains.

"Wait, so does that mean that..." Marinette starts.

"I purposely invited you to come here after defeating the akuma so that we could spend some time alone together without any interruptions. Like a..." Adrien adds.

"A date?" Marinette asks, her cheeks heating up.

Adrien places his hand on the back of his head and scratches it while his cheeks reddened and he smiled at the floor

"Yeah. I guess so." He says.

Marinette giggles and so does he.

-------------

"Dark wings fall." Hawkmoth says with a sigh as he de-transforms.

"You were very close that time Master." Nooroo says, trying to cheer up the depressed Gabriel.

"Yes but I'm never close enough!" Gabriel exclaims.

"That battle took them so long, I was sure that I had them pinned this time by creating a ghost villain that they couldn't even touch but, just like always, in the end I failed again." He says through gritted teeth as his elevator took him down.

He reappeared in his office in front of Nathalie. She wore an apologetic look on her face, knowing well that Gabriel was upset because he had failed to defeat Ladybug and Chat Noir once more.

"You were so close this time Sir. It wasn't very easy for them to defeat this villain-" Nathalie says until Gabriel cuts her off.

"Specter wouldn't have been defeated at all if that damn movie about people who fight ghosts with high-tech reactors strapped to their backs that shoot ion beams didn't exist then maybe Ladybug's lucky charm wouldn't have given her one to hold Specter in place while Cat Noir destroyed the brooch I akumatized!" Gabriel rants in frustration.

"I wonder why Emilie ever cared for that movie so much anyway. The whole concept was ridiculous, and the science was merely theoretical at best." He continues before sighing and placing his hand over his forehead.

"But I suppose it makes sense that a movie about ghosts would haunt me like that. I can even hear the theme song in my head as it's being pulled out of my long-term memory." Gabriel groans.

"Uh, I don't think it's in your head Sir. I can hear it too" Nathalie says and looks towards the large double doors next to them that lead into the foyer.

Gabriel turns to her and arches one of his eyebrows. Then he looks in the direction of the doors and frowns, knowing that there was only one place in the house where that noise would be coming from.

"I can't believe you know about this movie Tikki." Adrien says.

"I've been around for a very long time Adrien, Plagg too. I remember one time Wayzz brought an action figure of one of the characters from the movie into the Miracle Box for us to play with. He explained the plot of the movie he saw with Master Fu too, so that's how I know about it. But I've never seen it before!" Tikki explains.

"Yeah, actually watching it is definitely better than watching Wayzz horribly try to act it out for us." Plagg says and Tikki frowns at him for being rude.

Marinette cuddles closer into Adrien's side and laid her head down on his chest.

Adrien smiles at her and lays his head on top of hers, only to pick it back up as the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs startles him.

Marinette hears it too and she quickly scrambles away from Adrien, only to clumsily fall off of the bed as soon as the door opens and she's looking at Gabriel and Nathalie upside down, staring at her in surprise that quickly turns to disapproval. She gives them a big nervous grin, and Adrien did the same.

"F-father, what are you doing here? I uh, thought you were away tonight?" Adrien asks.

"I was, but then when I arrived there I discovered that the conference had been canceled at the last minute due to the host having to deal with some personal matters." Gabriel explains then looks from Adrien down to Marinette and squints.

"Now, I believe the more important question is why instead of studying have you decided to watch a mediocre film with a girl, alone in your room together, and how did she even get in here without Nathalie and your bodyguard's permission!" Gabriel sternly questions his son.

"You already know why." Adrien says and sighs.

"I wanted to spend time with my friends. But you never let me."

"So you decided to go behind my back and sneak a girl into your room? That's highly immature of you Adrien, I never would have expected you to stoop to something so low. And I'm sure this young lady's parents wouldn't be very pleased either to learn that their daughter was in a room alone with a boy unsupervised." Gabriel says.

Marinette quickly sat upright and Adrien froze in his seat.

"Oh no! It wasn't anything like that Mr. Agreste!" Marinette quickly explains.

"I don't care what you say." Gabriel tells her sternly.

Marinette gulped in fear when his steely gaze focused on her.

"No one aside from you or Adrien were in here to see what was going on, therefore I cannot be sure that what you are telling me is the truth, and if you're the kind of girl that sneaks into people's homes then you're not exactly showing me that you have a good conscience, so most likely you are lying and I am to assume the worst." Gabriel says.

"She's telling the truth father!" Adrien says and gets off of the bed to stand in front of Marinette.

"Marinette has the best conscience, she's always putting others before herself. I'm the one who snuck her in here, it was all my fault not hers." Adrien says.

Marinette's lips curved downward as Adrien took the blame for her.

"Well I won't deny that that could be true, but nevertheless there is evidence to suggest that she's corrupting you. So I forbid you from seeing her outside of school ever again." Gabriel declares.

"What!?" Marinette and Adrien exclaim.

Marinette stood up and Nathalie stepped forward to lead Marinette out.

Adrien frowns and steps to the side to stand in-between her and Nathalie.

"Father, please." Adrien pleads, tears starting to form in his eyes.

But Gabriel remains stoic and Marinette gives Adrien's hand a squeeze.

"I'll see you in school Adrien." She says and gives him a small smile before leaving with Nathalie.

Once Marinette was gone, Adrien frowned at his father and clenched his fists.

The action surprised Gabriel, but also gave him an idea as he sensed the growing anger in his son. So he turned and left without saying another word to him, just to fuel that rage even more.

Adrien picked up a pillow that fell on the ground and tossed it angrily onto the bed before flopping down on it and frowning.

"Be careful Adrien, you don't want to get mad! Hawkmoth could akumatize you if he senses your anger!" Plagg exclaims.

"I know Plagg." Adrien says and takes a deep breath.

"But I can't help but feel like this is so unfair! It's bad enough he keeps me away from my friends, but now I can't even see Marinette, the love of my life!" Adrien exclaims and shoves his face in his pillow.

"Yeah you're right. Being you really sucks sometimes." Plagg says.

"Yeah..." Adrien says.

He lifts his face out of his pillow and smiles at Plagg.

"But when that happens, I can turn into somebody else." Adrien says with a smirk.

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"Don't be so down Marinette." Tikki says.

"You can still see Adrien in school."

"Yeah I know but it's not the same." Marinette says.

She lets her hair down and hugs her knees to her chest as she looks out over the city lights from her chair on her balcony.

"It's better than nothing but at school it's complicated. We never get to be alone either because our friends are with us or because girls like Lila and Chloe are trying to break us apart." Marinette reminds her.

"And now I've blown my chance to ever hang out with Adrien alone again."

"Are you sure about that bugaboo?"

Marinette gasps and she quickly turns her head towards her roof and sees Cat Noir perched there.

"What are you doing here!" She shouts.

"Isn't it obvious?" He asks and jumps down and lands in front of her.

"I've come to spend some quality time with my girlfriend on this beautiful Parisian night."

He leans in to kiss her and she pushes him back.

"I mean what are you doing out here with me! Your father said you weren't allowed to see me anymore outside of school! If he finds out that you snuck out here to visit me he might try to pull you out of school!" Marinette exclaims.

"You're forgetting something m'lady." Cat Noir says with a chuckle and swipes his finger under her chin.

"Gabriel Agreste forbade Adrien Agreste from seeing you outside of school. He didn't forbid Cat Noir from coming to see you though."

Marinette smiles and lets out the breath she was holding.

"You can come up with any loophole to break a rule can't you?" Marinette asks.

"Rules were made to be broken. Especially when they keep me from m'lady." He says and pulls her into a hug.

They kiss for a little bit before pulling apart.

"Alright, then I guess there's nothing wrong with this." Marinette says.

"That's my girl!" Cat Noir says and gives her a big kiss on her cheek.

"Now do you have any more of those danishes by any chance?"

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"This couldn't have been more perfect!" Hawkmoth says in his lair.

"Cat Noir and Ladybug are probably still recovering from my previous akuma, and now I can create another from my son's anger to beat them while they're down and finally capture their miraculous! Wait...what?"

His smile fell.

"No, it can't be."

Nathalie looked up from her desk when Gabriel came out of his elevator.

"What happened? Is something wrong?" She asks.

"Yes. My son's anger is completely gone!" Gabriel says as he storms out of the doors and makes his way towards his son's room.

He opens the door and looks around. Both he and Nathalie look up and see the window is open again.

"It would appear he's snuck out again." Nathalie says.

"Yes. But thankfully we know where he's gone." Gabriel adds.

--------------

"How do I look? Romantic?" Cat Noir asks as he lays on his side on the railing of the balcony, propping his head up on his hand with his arm and leg bent while holding a rose and putting it back in his mouth.

"I guess you could say that." Marinette giggles before continuing to sketch him.

"I'm amazed you can even balance on that small railing like this. And for this long!"

"I've got cat-like reflexes, I can balance on anything for as long as I want. Nothing's gonna knock me off of this railing bugaboo." Cat Noir says confidently.

"Marinette!" Her mother calls from her bedroom.

Cat Noir gasps and falls off over the edge just as Sabine opened up the hatch door.

"Oh did I startle you sweetie?" She asks.

"Uh, yeah." Marinette says with a forced grin.

She hoped Cat Noir was okay.

"What's up?" She asks.

"Someone's here to see you." Sabine says.

Marinette looked worried when she noticed her mother didn't seem too enthusiastic about the visitor. She came downstairs with her mother into her bedroom and her heart seized in her chest when she saw Gabriel Agreste, Nathalie, and The Gorilla in her bedroom.

"What are you guys doing here?" Marinette asks softly.

"Don't act so innocent. You know why we're here." Gabriel says.

Cat Noir hung onto the window that he grabbed onto during his fall. He looked in it and gasped when he saw who was in Marinette's room.

"Adrien isn't here I swear!" Marinette pleads.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Gabriel asks.

"Because the only way into this building is through the bakery." Tom says.

"My wife and I have been there all night. We would have seen your son come in with her but she came in alone."

"And you're sure there's no other way he could get in?" Gabriel asks.

"Not unless he dropped down from the roof." Tom says.

Suddenly someone jumped in from the hatch door and everyone screamed, that is until they saw who it was.

"Cat Noir!" Nathalie exclaims.

"Yo! I heard some arguing going on while I was patrolling outside. What seems to be the problem here tonight folks?" He asks.

"U-uh." Everyone collectively stutters as they were still shocked by the sudden appearance of the hero.

"Cat Noir thank goodness you're here!" Marinette says, knowing she should play along.

"This man's son has gone missing. Have you seen him anywhere?"

"Hmm, maybe. What does this son of yours look like?" Cat Noir asks.

"You already know. You must have seen him on billboards." Gabriel says tentatively, still a bit shocked by the whole situation.

"His name is Adrien Agreste."

"Oh him!" Cat Noir says.

"I just saw him by the Eiffel Tower a few minutes ago. He might still be there, if you hurry over you'll probably catch him."

"You're right, we should probably get going." Gabriel says and the three of them go to leave.

Gabriel takes one last look at Cat Noir before shutting the hatch door.

"Thank you so much Cat Noir!" Sabine exclaims.

"Yes, we were so lucky that you happened to be walking by when Mr. Agreste came over. I can't imagine what would have happened if you hadn't come in and defended our Marinette." Tom says.

"Your daughter has good character and she's pure of heart. It would break my heart if someone thought otherwise." Cat Noir explains.

Then his ring started to beep.

"Well, I have to go now, it was nice seeing you all again!" He says and leaves out of the hatch.

Marinette went outside and watched as Cat Noir hopped from building to building as he made his way to the Eiffel Tower where his father was heading. She smiled, knowing that no matter what, nothing would ever be able to keep them apart forever. Their friendship always helped them rise above evil as Ladybug and Cat Noir, and now their love would triumph over it for good.

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A/N: What did you think? Please give me comments and feedback if you want me to keep writing stories like this!

[stonylovessteve]

Creator Reveals 2019

We’ve reached the end of the exchange and that means it’s time to reveal the creators of all our works.

Thank you for putting so much love and effort into Stony Loves Steve 2019, you really made it a great experience. We hope everyone loved it as much as we did!

Giftees, be sure to leave a comment and kudos on your gift if you haven’t already. All our creators worked hard to make this event a success, so show them some love.

You can now post your work publicly outside of the exchange. Tag it as #stonylovessteve2019 on tumblr and we’ll reblog you. @ us @stonylovessteve on twitter and we’ll retweet you.

Below the cut is the final list of all the works produced for the exchange and the creators.

Ride With the Moon in the Dead of Night by iam93percentstardust for Wikketkrikket (MCU AU, 11,464 Words)

The wards protecting the Upper New York pack are failing. When the pack alpha, Nick Fury, calls for aid, only one person answers: the vampire Howard Stark, promising the aid of his son. In return, he asks that his son be accepted into the pack. Fury promises that his strongest alpha will be given to Stark's son in marriage. Neither Steve nor Tony are initially pleased about this turn of events but they find themselves quickly falling in love. But not everyone is happy to allow a vampire into the pack and there is a traitor lurking in their midst.

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You've Always Been My Home by Shamen610 for softestlesbian (MCU, 4,370 words)

And that was just so like Tony wasn't it? For him to still be the one to help Steve find a home, despite being gone.

Gone.

God, he couldn't even stomach the thought of it being true.

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Clementine by Wikketkrikket for nasa (1872, 8,297 words)

From the prompt: 'The people of Timely have started getting suspicious about how much time their Sheriff is spending at their Blacksmith's house'

Ever since he was injured and his arm badly damaged in the incident with Fisk, Steve has been staying with Tony. He helps Tony stay off the drink and keep his ribbon, and Tony helps him tie his shoelaces. They're in love, but they aren't breaking any laws. Steve is very careful about that.

Except people are starting to talk anyway, and when a new Deputy arrives in town with suspicion in his eyes things get riskier than ever.

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i'd like it if you stayed (and i like you) by KingOfBiohazards for Lunatical (MCU AU, 2,958 words)

Steve gets a knight assigned to be his bodyguard. He's not happy about it (at first).

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the start of something brilliant by S_Hylor for fictionforlife (Noir, 4,382 words)

After so many years of adventuring, and then assisting in the war effort, Tony Stark didn’t think there was much left that he hadn’t seen already. That is, until on a reconnaissance mission with James Rhodes, he comes across an injured American soldier, left behind on a battlefield.

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the lion and his wolf by nasa for iam93percentstardust (MCU AU, 2,241 words)

Steve didn't have much when he came to King's Landing - his mother, his best friend, and a few copper coins to his name - but slowly, over the years, it's all been stripped away. Now, he has only one thing left: Tony Stark, heir to the North and lover to Steve.

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Handheld by talesofsuspense for SilverInStars (MCU, 4,072 words)

When Steve starts stopping for lunch at Shawarma Palace he isn't expecting Tony to show up and to keep showing up. And he definitely isn't expecting a guide to the 21st century.

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Another Chance at Another Life by heroineaddict for 13bella (MCU, 6,867 words)

Steve returns the Infinity Stones to their rightful place, and then makes a detour to fix one of his biggest regrets.

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Won't You Be My Neighbor [Art] by Cachette for sadieb798 (AU, art)

A peaceful evening!

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If I’m Ruining You Right Now, Please Forgive Me by Mizzy for Jaylee (616, 17k Words)

Tony’s definitely up to something, Steve’s sure about that. But when he follows Tony down into the unused leg of their new unconventional home, Steve isn’t expecting to discover the lengths Tony will go to try to make him happy. 

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Beautiful by LegendsofSnark for thegreytigress (MCU, 1k words)

Tony loves Steve, no matter what 

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Of You, Me, and Us by ShippersList for starkboi (MCU, 1.1k words)

They are just photos. Snaps of his life, something he started taking after the Battle of New York. Nothing fancy, nothing staged, just… quick slices of life he wanted to document, to remember things by, to help getting some flavor to the sharp memories embedded in his mind.

Some are blurry, some are ruined by time (or, more often, coffee stains), some are just of the same subject; from the time when he wanted to document the way the vines grow on that one, particular corner of the park.

Others might say most of them are worthless, but they aren’t. Not to Steve.

And some pictures mean more than the rest. Especially to Steve.

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Worth the Wait  by FreyaS for Royal_Chandler (MCU, 13k words)

When Steve woke up in the future, he met his soulmate and learned he’d lost everything else.

Tony was familiar with loss but he never expected to gain a soulmate in Steve Rogers, the man his family had spent generations searching for.

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Be Still My Little Heart by Lunatical for BeenAsleepFor70Years (AU, 4.1k words)

A beautiful boy was asleep in the flower, his hair the color of gold and his skin as pure as the lily from which he’d been born. And when he opened his eyes, they were as clear as the sky, and twice as beautiful. And he could not have been bigger than a thumb, from the tips of his golden hair to the bottom of his perfect feet, and Sarah loved him more than anything else in the world. 

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srogers@avengers.com by FestiveFerret for Lacrimula_Falsa (MCU, 7.3k words)

Between digital watches, ATMs, emails, and microwaves, Steve is exhausted by the future. Tony is only trying to help, and Steve appreciates it, but sometimes, he just needs a break from all the tech in the tower. 

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Tony Stark’s Guide to Getting A Date (And Steve Roger’s Guide to Getting Through a Thick Skull) by a_salty_alto for morcabre (AA, 1.3k words)

In which Steve turns out to be a bit smoother than expected. 

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Everybody Loves Steve (But Tony Loved Him First, Dammit) by ashes0909 for HogwartstoAlexandria (MCU AU, 4.4k words)

“So, what? I’m just supposed to get used to you being a bit taller, a bit bulkier, and that guy I met freshman year, what? He’s gone forever now?” 

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Superfamily [Art] by Hayluhalo for Squishy_TRex (MCU AU, art)

Prompt fill for “adopting kids” for the Stony Loves Steve 2019 event! 

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Heart’s Second Chance [Art] by fictionforlife for BuckytheDucky (MCU AU, art)

Based on one of BuckytheDucky’s prompts:

Steve is the rightful heir to a decent-sized kingdom, neighbouring the Stark realm. When talks arise of the kingdoms going to war, Steve’s mother tells him he must marry Prince Tony in order to prevent the war from coming to fruition; both grudgingly agree, and it’s definitely not love at first sight, fighting behind closed doors all the time even tho they pretend they’re deliriously in love in front of others. Then tragedy strikes, and Steve has to decide whether to help Tony get revenge for his kingdom against Obadiah Stane, the Starks’ most trusted advisor, or convince Tony that he’s no longer allowed to get involved in his old kingdom’s affairs. Through it all, he starts learning more about who Tony really is and maybe even falling in love.

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Three Challenges by Neverever for Katie_Kat (MCU AU, 6,6k words)

King Steve is offered a marriage alliance with the mysterious Prince Tony which will help his small country greatly. Except that there is a twist. There always is. 

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Be My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine by Nixie_DeAngel for Neverever (MCU AU, 1,8k words)

Letting out an overly tired, but still fond, sigh, Steve closes his charms tome and caps his inkwell before pushing it back towards the center of the table and places his quill next to it. “Okay, Tony, you have exactly twenty minutes before I really do need to get back to studying. Why do you need me to be your pretend boyfriend?”

Or, even as wizards Tony and Steve still can only find there way to each other through the muggle trope of fake dating while fighting their real feelings.

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a date with disaster (or, the time steve essentially whored himself out on national tv to pay his rent) by quellthefire for Serinah (MCU AU, 3,6k words)

Steve’s been having a hard time finding freelance work, so Bucky signs him up for a reality dating show to earn some extra cash. Little does Steve know that this is going to be the worst date he could possibly imagine, on purpose. 

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To have and to hold by daisybelle for LegendsofSnark (MCU, 1.4k words)

Written for the prompt: Parents!Stony: Steve has somehow gotten sick and Tony is freaking out because Steve always takes care of him and Peter. Cue Peter and Tony frantically trying to do everything in their power to get Steve better. And Steve smiling at his little family. 

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You’re Always Worth It by Nixie_DeAngel for Hayluhalo (EMH, 1.6k words)

Tony sees it in the way Steve’s shoulders grow tenser, the way his answers become shorter and snappier. Sees it in the way his eyes grow colder and harder. He sees it in the extra hours put in to training and working out, the way Steve goes through combat bots and reinforced punching bags.

Or, Tony takes Steve on a mini vacation and helps his partner unwind.

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when you’re gone by talktothesky for ishipallthings (MCU, 25.6k words)

Steve’s had to get used to many things in the 21st century but falling in love with Tony Stark might be the weirdest one yet.

Especially because the man’s dead.

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The shadow of men by Bill_Longbow for silversoul_snow (MCU AU, 6.8k words)

When Steve sinks his teeth into bringing Tony Stark to justice he shouldn’t be surprised the mob boss takes a mutual interest. He ìs suprised the mobster does this by kidnapping him, but the most confusing thing is that Steve doesn’t really mind…

In a world where soulmates are only rumours and myths, what chance do a cop and a crook have together?

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time doesn’t love you anymore (like i love you) by armoredsoftie for jayjayverse (MCU, 3.1k words)

Steve returned the Stones to their respective places, and it’s time to go back home. But after an accident with the time traveling bracelet, he’s stuck in 1993, where he tries to find the help of a young Tony Stark. After a few drinks in the most popular gay bar in town, things might take a different direction. 

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Breakfast [Art] by SpanglesandSass (Fidella) for SirSapling (Ultimates, Art)

For the prompt:

1. Stressed out Steve gets pampered

If anyone needed a lazy day and breakfast in bed, it’s probably Steve.

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On the Road We Find the Journey Home by navaan for Missy_dee811 (Marvel 616, 5.7k words)

In the Aftermath of Secret Empire, Steve goes on his Road Trip to find out who Captain America can be after Hyda!Cap put fear into the hearts’ of the people who used to cheer for him. His thoughts trail back to Tony. 

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For A Good Time Call by BeenAsleepFor70Years for mariana_oconnor (Avengers Assemble, 8.7k words)

Steve explores his sexuality by trying out a phone sex service. He may just leave the situation crushing on the guy at the other end of the phone. He already had feelings for his teammate Iron Man, now a new crush gets thrown into the mix. What ever shall he do? 

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And I Owe It All To You by starkboi for muchmoremajestic (MCU AU, 2.8k words)

Steve volunteers to participate in a dance marathon for charity. He’s got a final project looming over his head and needs a break from reality, it’s there that he gets playfully competitive with a certain snarky brown haired boy from MIT. 

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The Ring of Fire or The One Where Steve is Young and Confused by Serinah for One and Five Nines (Obani) (MCU AU, 15.9k words)

What you read on the tin. Steve is 19 and has only had one girlfriend. He doesn’t like men, never has, so why the hell does Professor Stark make him feel this way?

A story with a ridiculous amount of anger, internalized homophobia, sexual exploration, self-discovery and pining. In short: it’s about how student Steve tries, fails and then tries again to understand what going on with him while dealing with his crush on a professor.

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An Old Friend by Katie_Kat for Evanna_Adams (MCU, 1.2k words)

Steve is packing up and getting ready to move from the Tower to the new compound when Peter finds something interesting hiding in the closet.

For the Stony Loves Steve 2019 Fic Exchange.

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certain as the sun by ohmyloki for ShippersList (MCU, 3.8k words)

Steve doesn’t know how to dance. Tony says he doesn’t dance. Natasha wonders what’s the point of living in a mansion if no one is ever going to use the ballroom? 

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Don’t Ask by dirigibleplumbing for SpellWolf (Avengers Academy, 3.6k words)

Steve has a secret.

Steve also plays a lot of truth or dare.

Tony notices that Steve always picks “dare,” and starts daring him to pick “truth” instead.

What will Tony think if he finds out what Steve’s hiding? 

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Silicone Rings by kenshincha for picturecat (The Avengers - All Media Types, 1.1k words)

Steve contemplates their long engagement. 

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Almost Perfect [Art] by One and Five Nines (Obani) for farawatt (MCU, Art)

A powerful enemy invades from an alternate reality, but the only thing he really seems interested in is Steve Rogers

EXTREMELY DISTURBING CONTENT, MIND THE TAGS 

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In Your Shadow by magicasen for talesofsuspense (Marvel 616, 2.9k words)

Tony thinks the mansion might be haunted. Steve’s not so sure about that.

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A Beautiful Thing by thegraytigress for FestiveFerret (MCU, 62.5k words)

Steve charges into a crashed alien ship to save survivors, and he comes out with a newfound power: telepathy. The fact that he can read minds isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, though. It’s pretty amusing to the team, really annoying to Steve, and generally not as cool as it sounds. It especially sucks that it’s driven a wedge between him and Tony, not that Steve can figure out why. Still, all in all, it’s something he can try to live with.

Until he can’t.

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Stuck by Neverever for PjCole (MCU AU, 2.9k words)

Hairstylist Tony Stark itches to cut Steve’s messy hair. But Steve has other issues on his mind.

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Loving You 3000 by athletiger for armoredsoftie (MCU AU, 1.5k words)

He stared. On his chest, above his palpitating heart, was the number 3000. Steve’s fingers lifted, unbidden, and he brushed over the numbers, which only stared back at him.

His chest constricted, then swelled.

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Previously Thought to be Impossible by Impala_Chick for navaan (MCU, 2.8k words)

In 1970, SHIELD HQ was working on a powerful aphrodisiac prototype. Tony Stark from 2023 happens to cut open the wrong box at the wrong time, and Steve Rogers from 2023 doesn’t know how to feel about it.

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A Coincidence called Fate. by SilverinStars for kenshincha (MCU AU, 2.7k words)

The first time Potts met Stevens, the man had come limping into the infirmary. His face was pale, but he held himself upright.

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Moments in Time by Squishy_TRex for talktothesky (MCU, 3k words)

A shared life, over the years.

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Does the sun shine (during lock down)? by HogwartstoAlexandria for Nixie_DeAngel (MCU, 9.6k words)

The last thing Tony expects when he wakes up that day is the very thing he finds in Pepper’s office, or rather, the very person.

Old flames do they ever really die down? Maybe not, but does Tony have the luxury to find out when he has to think about Peter’s well-being first and foremost?

Or when Pepper is worried, makes a decision, and Tony’s life spins on its axis, once again.

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[art fill] on read by Priestly for KingOfBiohazards (MCU, Art)

Texting Tony Stark is sometimes easier than talking to him face to face. Mini-comic!

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good old-fashioned lover boy by nanasekei for Cachette (MCU, 7k words) 

Tony is thrilled about his new relationship with Steve. He’s on cloud nine, in fact. It’s so amazing he can believe it’s real. He just wishes they could… Uh. Touch a little. Just a little

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Here’s Looking at You by mariana_oconnor for SpanglesandSass (MCU, 12.6k words)

Captain America’s disapproving stare watched over most of Tony’s childhood. It only makes sense that when Steve Rogers walks into Tony’s life, that he return the favour and stare right back. But what he sees when Steve doesn’t know he’s watching doesn’t match up with what he thinks he knows, and he comes to realise that maybe the man under the cowl isn’t quite as untouchable as he thought.

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Write and Draw by SpellWolf for Shamen610 (MCU, 2.7k words)

games night and plotting ends with two idiots finally getting together

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Loose Ends by muchmoremajestic for riodesal (MCU, 8.9k words)

Steve Rogers was found in late 2007 after being on ice for over sixty years. In trying to find closure with his past, a few months later he comes across Tony - at the moment a charismatic billionaire responsible for the world’s most lucrative weapons manufacturing company while the country is at war fighting terrorist cells in Afghanistan. When Steve reaches out to Tony to get closure on his friendship with Tony’s father Howard, how will Tony react? Can Steve find the closure that he’s looking for?

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running into the sun by kiden for ohmyloki (MCU, 8.2k words) 

There are other people Steve could ask. Sam or Nat. Even Clint would make more sense. It’s not that they aren’t friends - they are, they’re good friends, hard won, fought for, worked on - it’s just weird. They can live together and fight together, but Tony’s not so sure a few weeks with just the two of them in a car is a good idea. It’s definitely not a smart idea. “Can you repeat that, please?” or: tony and steve go on a nice, soft road trip that brings them closer together.

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Vienna Waits For You by Evanna_Adams for quellthefire (MCU, 13.4k words) 

Steve Rogers was desperate. Not in the general sense of the word but the deadline for his college art project seemed to be looming and damnit, he should have been done already. But it had taken a bit of Barton and Wilson madness to leave his final project in pieces. Natasha, Bucky and the guilt-ridden duo had tried to help him, but the project was lost to him. They had even tried to offer their own college acquired expertise to help. Of course, he had to refuse.

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posing up a storm by picturecat for Mizzy (MCU, 5.2k words) 

“I have an idea. Can we just pretend the day ended with that really badass Superfriends pose we did?”

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Letters To My Lover by Missy_dee811 for XtaticPearl (MCU, 3.5 words)

*Avengers: Endgame spoilers* On the day of the funeral, Steve hears a phone ringing that shouldn’t be. No one had that number. No one except Tony.

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Taking a chance by DepressingGreenie for Bill Longbow (MCU, 746 words/art) 

Steve likes the Science Professor who lives across the hall.

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Yes to heaven by jayjayverse for magicasen (616, 1.1k words/art) 

All started with a clear change of smell, it was subtle, slow in a way that if Janet had not told him he would not have noticed, but after that he just could not help noticing every little sign.

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Eleven Years by One and Five Nines (Obani) for Impala Chick (MCU, 2.2k words) 

*ENDGAME SPOILERS* After the final battle, Steve comes around to Tony’s house. He’s not sure how things stand with Tony, but at least Morgan likes him.

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Frostbite by FestiveFerret for DepressingGreenie (MCU, 5.4k words) 

They’ve found where Steve is being kept - he has to be in this building - but JARVIS can’t find a heat signature, and Tony knows what that means.

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[art fill] second chances by Priestly for kiden (MCU, art) 

“Regret is corrosive. And I hate it.” 

“Me too.” 

Together, Steve and Tony can save half of all life on Earth. And if they’re lucky enough, maybe they can even save their relationship. Art fill!

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We’re Going Off Script by ishipallthings for FreyaS (MCU, 5.2k words) 

“Or, maybe you just need practice?” Steve blinks at Tony’s question, confused. Maybe Tony needs more sleep than he thought. He’ll have to check with JARVIS. 

“Practice - at dating?”

(Steve needs help in the dating department. Tony is happy to help out, because he’s a very good friend. That’s definitely the only reason.)

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One Throw of the Dice by Wikketkrikket for dirigibleplumbing (616/Ults/3490/1872, 5.7k words) 

Steve shrugged, pulling on his shirt. ‘It’s not like it’s Jane or no-one. Everyone gets more than one throw of the dice, Tony.’ 

He only realised his mistake when Tony didn’t say anything, turning away too quickly when Steve turned to look at him. It didn’t take too much thought to connect the dots. Tony did think you only got one throw of the dice. Tony thought he, Steve, was that one. The One. 

In which they realise Tony loves Steve more than Steve loves him. But it’s kind of hard to work through it when the Skrulls interfere, and scatter your sense of self to the multiverse.

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Hands Out In The Dark by XtaticPearl for ashes0909 (MCU, 44.4k words) 

When Thanos died the first time, it was anybody’s guess that the end of the journey had been reached. Sometimes though, a bad end becomes the opening to an unexpected but good beginning, and a tired Steve Rogers learns that in the five years it takes for him to get back to a battlefield. The years after that, well that was a story he hadn’t considered until life gave him the chance to try. What he ended up writing, whom he wrote it with, and why it all ended on a bench in New York - there were stories even a Time Stone hadn’t expected.

sun in an empty room by farawatt for nanasekei (MCU/Ults/616, 2.3k words) 

Melancholy is dangerous.

It’s funny how you forgive the past to try and revive it.

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A Long Road To Share by SirSapling for daisybelle (Ults, art) 

After 50 years in the ice and a couple exhausting years leading the Ultimates, Steve realises he isn’t quite sure he knows anything about the new modern America he’s supposed to represent. Luckily, Tony has an idea how to show him.

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Dare I Say Forever by royal_chandler for herioneaddict (MCU, 4.2k words) 

Naive and young, Steve had thought about it. He’d allowed himself to dream of post-war, matching gold bands and a white picket fence penning in a rambunctious pair of children. 

However, there’s no such thing as post-war.

[americasmarauders]

Flowers and Iemanjá- Chapter 01

 Iemanjá: considered as the “Brazilian Aphrodite”, the goddess of love to whom lovers go to in case of trouble in love.

title inspired by the song Meu Abrigo (by Melim).

Word count: 3,3k  and a few.

Summary: the day Spider-Man is followed around by a smart ass girl.  Alternetively, the day a girl helped Spider-Man catch some bad guys and decided to be his partner.

Note: if you have any ideas or suggestions, leave an ask. also, I may or may not need spider puns, so if you have one that i have not already used, send me please. :)

Tagging: @hollandsosterfield [sorry Jen;)]

People who favorited the masterlist (I’m tagging in case you didn’t see the first chapter, if you did, ignore or leave a comment) : @marvel-lock @ughdaddywise @allurekengi @emeraldrhee-grimes @hcllxnds @bocauhl @seniorrogers @used-avocado @ximaginx @dr-tardis-who @thismightbemypage @rafaellannery7 @sweetobservationstudent77 @lilcura1209 @taylorswiftforever13 @cheenyeelove @theyoutubedork @sweetdarlingholland​ @ciannemar83 @notsobasik 

prologue 

Y/N got in through her bedroom window, being careful not to make any noise, in case her Dad was home. He was most likely not, though.

              She ripped off the mask from her face and undid her tight ponytail (it was giving her a headache; she should find a better hairdo for crime-fighting). She considered the day successful. No more crimes just by the end of the afternoon? That was awesome! Besides, all that with barely a drop of sweat spilled. Her powers did come in handy, more than she could have ever imagined.

              She remembered vividly the first day she discovered her mutation. She was six. She was calmly playing with some Legos during lunch break at school, fiddling with pieces as she thought where to put them next. It was a set that her Uncle had given her, and if she managed to build it until the end of the week, he would give her a tour of his lab. And she really wanted a tour of his lab. So, she spent every last second she could with the huge set. And a boy (she couldn’t for the life of her remember the name of that stupid boy) thought it was a great idea to take the built part from Y/N’s hands and throw it on the ground.

              She was so mad. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at the dumb boy (who now had a dumb smile on his dumb face). She wanted him to go away, and she remembered thinking that she could throw the Lego pieces he had dismantled on his face.

              Next thing she knows, the boy is running scared of her, and she is surrounded by flying Lego pieces. She then remembers waking up at home, to the sound of her Mother worried on the phone with her Uncle.

              Next time an incident like that happened was just before her Mother died when Y/N had barely turned ten years old. She was having lunch alone, as usual – after the incident, it got harder to make friends; the kids were scared of her—when someone (she can’t remember who, though, they came in a group) thought it was a good idea to make fun of her. She swears she tried to ignore them –she really did—wishing to just disappear from there immediately and run into her Mother’s arms.

              She tried to control it. But it was bigger than her, and she found it harder and harder to pretend it wasn’t there anymore. She let it out. And things slowed down, except her. All the kids were now laughing in slow motion, all the leaves falling slowly to the ground. She gathered up her things and left. Again, she blacked out and woke up at home, her Mother and Uncle standing next to her bed, waiting for her to wake up so they could talk arrangements.

              Apparently, there was a person—a man—that could help her control her powers. Her Mother and Uncle didn’t want it. It would take her away to a boarding school, and they knew what it was like to be shipped away like that. Her Dad, on the other hand, thought it was a good idea to send her to the Institute with that Professor guy. It would allow her to grow and control her gifts.

              Y/N ultimately decided not to go. Instead, she decided to change schools. And her Uncle pulled some strings and put her on a middle school attached to a science high school. It was the end of the semester, either way, it was the perfect time to change it.

              A month later, her mother died. And her life never was the same ever again.

              Her Father shut himself into his work more and more. Being the lead scientist on Stark Industries was not easy, Y/N understood that, and she knew he loved her so much. She just wished he was there for her more. Just be there after she gets home from school and ask how her day was. But she knew everybody grieved in different ways. She had done her grief, and he still had to do his.

              Her Uncle started visiting more and more. He took her on visits to his tower and spent days with her on his lab when he could. He taught her what science really was, and it made her fall in love it even more. It was in one of her visits to his lab that she had built her mask from scratch—clandestinely, her Uncle for sure didn’t know it and she made sure his A.I.’s didn’t tell him.

              There were days when she heard him and her Father arguing over her, over how her Uncle knew he was being distant, and that Y/N missed him more than he could imagine. How he wanted to ship her off to a boarding school instead of taking care of her and helping her through it together. Uncle was right, but Y/N did try not to hold it against her Father. He was in pain, and maybe if she was in the same position as him, she would have done the same thing too.

              She let out a deep breath and dropped herself on her bed. Now, to the AP Calculus homework.

  “You should have seen her, Ned!” Peter said exasperated, putting his books inside his locker. Ned was standing next to him, hands wrapped around the straps of his bag. “And then she said, ‘that’s up to you to find out’! What is that supposed to mean?” He said and then slammed the metal door.

              “I don’t know, Peter. It seems pretty straight forward,” Ned shrugged. He felt Peter was making a bigger deal out of this than it was. “Besides, she could be an ally, why are you freaking out so much?”

              “Because! She feels wrong, Ned, I’m telling you she—” Peter trailed off, feeling his body tingle. There she was. Y/N. Pete couldn’t tell why every time she was near him his sense went haywire and he couldn’t process a simple sentence. She had that effect on him since they were ten and she willingly sat with him and Ned on her first day at school.

              “Hey, guys,” she smiled at them, her eyes twinkling at the shitty lights of the Midtown Tech hallways.

              “Hey, Y/N!” Ned answered when he noticed that Peter was gaping at her like a dead goldfish. “Are you heading to AP Calculus?”

              “Yep, the best class,” Y/N said. She held tightly the strap of her messager bag. Peter noticed her smile reached her eyes at that comment.

              “I thought you liked Physics better,” Peter commented.

              “Well, one cannot live without the other, right?” that answer did not satisfy Peter at all. “So, how was your weekend?”

              Peter unwillingly stiffened with that questioned. That girl, Noire, had thrown him off his rhythm. And he still didn’t know how to get her back. She was smart, maybe too smart. And maybe Ned was right, she could be an ally, but right now he wanted was to outsmart her.

              “It was all right,” Peter stuttered out. Y/N smiled at him, and his mind went all blank. But he did not feel anything for her. Definitely.

              “How about you, Ned?” she turned to Ned still with a smile on her face.

              “Well, binged Star Wars again, so it was fun,” he stated. “How about you?”

              Y/N let out a small chuckle. “Uncle and I played Monopoly. He lost and made me wash the dishes as punishment,” she laughed.

              Peter smiled back at her. At the back of his mind, he thought it weird that she always talked about her Uncle, but never, ever, gave them a name to this faceless person. “What’s your Uncle’s name?” he blurted out. Her smile fell, and Peter felt bad immediately.

              “Um,” she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, “it’s Anthony, but he really doesn’t like to be called that, so people call him Tony.”

              “Oh,” Peter responded. Ned was cringing at the tension between them now and wanted to pitch himself out of the window. “Just like Mr. Stark, then.”

              Y/N became pale. “Yes, just like Mr. Stark,” and as if her guardian angel had swooped in and saved her from this uncomfortable moment, the bell rang she bid her friends goodbye and fastened herself to her Calculus class.

  Interest. That was the main reason her Mother had instructed her to never, ever, mention who her side of the family was.

              It wasn’t like she was ashamed of her family; no, it wasn’t that. She was proud of being a part of the Stark Legacy. Hell, she was the Stark Legacy. But she didn’t want people faking friendships and toying with her so that they could get something out of her. So, it was better to just don’t say who was that part of her. Just vague comments and vague stories and vague names.

              So, when Peter freaking Parker—a known associate of her Uncle, mind you—asked her Uncle’s name, she panicked. What if, next thing she knows, she’s in her Uncle’s lab, just chilling, and freaking Peter Parker waltzes in, in all his dork glory, and her cover is blown?

              Would it be so bad, though? She knew him since she was ten. He had seen in every situation you could imagine, and the reciprocal was valid too. He and Ned had proven to her more than once that they would never, ever, pull something like befriending her for money or a job, possibly.

              So, it wasn’t a big deal. But how to out herself then? ‘Hi, guys! You know how I always talk about my Uncle and how he is awesome and all? You know, he’s also Tony Stark! Bye!’. That wasn’t it. Maybe she would ease them in. Drop his name more, subtle hints at what he did for a living (what didn’t he do for a living? He had more professions than Y/N could count), where he lived, what she actually did with him on their weekend’s out. The amazing thing she was creating with him. The suits for Uncle, for Pepper, for freaking Spider-Man. She helped build a suit for Spider-Man, and it was awesome. He hadn’t worn it. Yet. It was only a matter of time, she knew it.

              She left her last class buzzing with excitement. It was finally the time of her day she looked forward too. Outsmarting Spider-Man. She was a fan, that wasn’t to say she didn’t have fun playing with him. Oh, she could see the ways she would confuse him today.

              She left school discreetly and ran straight to her hiding spot (in truth it was just a changing spot so she could become her alter ego—was it really an alter ego? —in peace. Also keep her things in a place that would not be robbed.). She put her earpiece and her mask on, and she felt like she was finally letting that final piece of herself free. She could be one hundred percent who she was.

              “Hello Miss L/N, how was school today?” her A.I (designed all by herself, mind you) asked her.

              “It was alright, K.E.V.I.N. You know, same old same old. Anyways, it’s better now,” she said, as she lifted herself off the ground and flew higher to see the city from a proper view. “Now, let’s find that Spidey-Boy, Kev.”

              “No need to find me,” Spider-Man said, standing right behind her, glued (how did he do that?) to the wall of a building. “I found you first.”

              She smirked. “Did you, though? How do you know I wasn’t pretending?”

              “I don’t. But a hunch tells me that you aren’t, which means that I have the upper hand in this,” he tried to smart mouth her. ‘Two can play that game, Arthropod.’

              “Well, if you truly had the upper hand here, you should know that there is a robbery happening right across the street from us,” she bluffed.

              “No, there isn’t. I would have known before you did,” he said nervously.

              She smiled. “Then wait just a moment,”

              There was a moment of silence before Peter started to feel a tingle running down his body. “There’s an ongoing robbery behind you,” Karen stated.

              “Dammit,” he responded. His eyes narrowed as he looked at her deeply in her eyes (in the mask, but in his head, he was looking at her eyes). “How did you know?”

              She smiled, “A magician never reveals their secrets, right?”

              “You’re no magician,” he said, heading towards the small deli across from them.

              “How’d you know? Have you ever met one?” she argued back at him.

              He paused before saying: “Shut up.”

              He stopped and considered what the best plan of attack should be. Glued to the wall (again, how did he do that? Y/N wondered), he let out a sigh. It escalated to a hostage situation. The clerk was being held at gunpoint behind the counter and the other clients were all huddled up on a corner of the store, another robber pointing a bigger gun towards them. Peter figured there was another person on the back of the store, probably looking for the safe, and probably holding another worker at gunpoint.

              “There’s one robber on the back, one hostage,” Noire said.

              “Yeah, I figured,” Peter let out.

              “So, how do you want to do this?” she said, a smirk framing her face.

              “What makes you think I do want to do this” Spider-Man motioned between the two of them with his finger, “with you?”

              “Well, because I know you want to. Besides, we have no time this could escalate to a murder, and I know for a fact you don’t need that on your consciousness and neither do I. That brings to my question, how do you want to do this?” Y/N reasoned.

              He let out a sigh. “Fine, distract them while I go to the back and catch the third one,” He jumped out of the wall and disappeared from Y/N’s view.

              ‘Okay, how am I going to do this?’ she questioned herself. She quietly put herself to the ground and crossed the street a few meters away from the store entrance. “Kev, give me the situation.”

              “Ten hostages, three robbers. Two optimal entrance points, one being discreet. Higher chances of success with the latter,” K.E.V.I.N described to her.

              “What’s the other entrance?” she asked.

              “The front door, Miss,” he answered.

              “Okay, call the police, describe what the situation is and say it’s being handled,” she said.

              “Okay. Your Uncle is calling, should I answer?” K.E.V.I.N added.

              “No!” Y/N jumped. “Send him a text saying I’ll call him back. Don’t let him hack you.”

              With that, she waltzed towards the front door of the deli, the little bell making the noise as she opened the door. Both robbers pointed their guns at her, earning loud and quiet gasps from the hostages. The robbers were nervous, as pointed out by K.E.V.I.N in her ear, so that meant they were more likely to make impulse decisions like, shoot her or the hostages. So, she had to keep the guns pointed at her so that the hostages were safe enough. “That’s better, right?” she remarked. “Much better pointing the gun at one person that may or may not lead you to jail than a bunch of hostages.”

              “Who are you?” one of the robbers exclaimed.

              “That’s not the question you should be asking. You should ask why I am here and not at the back, where your other little friend is keeping another person hostage and opening the store’s safe,” she corrected him. She saw a small red fist giving her thumbs up from an open door at the back of the store.

              “Why’s that?” the robber asked back at her.

              “I’m just a distraction,” she smiled, and Spidey webbed the guns up, taking them and throwing them on the ground. The criminals were taken by surprise, which meant her stalling had worked. Now to the part of taking the hostages out of the scene. She blasted the perp nearest to her towards one of the shelves and opened the door for the hostages to go out. She led them all outside, where they were most likely to not get caught in the crossfire of fist throwing (not in her part, she had a much more elegant approach to fighting).

              “Are you done?” she asked Spider-Man. He had webbed up the unconscious perp, who was knocked against a now broken shelf.

              “I am now,” he said, as he changed the cartridge on his web-shooters. “You could have helped tie ‘em up.”

              “Nah, you had that handled,” she replied. “Wanna grab a bite?”

              “Sure.”

  They sat quietly as they ate their sandwiches, feet dangling from the edge of the rooftop. The sun low on the horizon, indicating the end of another successful crimefighting afternoon. They had stopped a few more crimes before eating (why eat when you can feed off the pleasure of seeing criminals getting caught?). Spider-Man’s mask was rolled a little bit above his nose, and Noire’s braids (her new go-to hairdo for crime-fighting) were disheveled and not as neat as they once were.

              “So,” Peter asked between bites, “how did you get your powers?”

              “I didn’t,” she swallowed, “I was born with them.”

              Spidey gave her a confused look. “What?”

              Y/N let out a small chuckle. “I was born with these powers.”

              “That is not possible,” he discredited her.

              “I’ll have you know it is more than possible and there is more than one person that this has happened to,” she added. “There is a boarding school for us mutants.”

              “Mutants? So that’s a whole thing?”

              “Yes, it is actually.”

              “And you go to this school?”

              She laughed bitterly. “No, my Mother didn’t want me to go. Maybe that was dumb of her part but I’m glad she didn’t let me,” she took another about of her sandwich. “How about you, how did you get your powers?”

              “Why would you like to know?”

              She smiled at him. “Well, there’s more to me than psychokinesis. I can watch people and kind of absorb their powers if that makes any sense. It doesn’t last long, only if they are on my line of sight, but it could be quite useful if comes down to it,” she explained.

              “You think that we are going to continue as partners?” he asked, not offended but genuinely curious.

              “Would you like to?”

              Peter pondered for a second. It would be better to have a partner. He could share the pains of being a superhero and take on bigger missions if the opportunity presented itself. And it would be nicer to have her as an ally than an adversary. Dammit, Ned was right. “Yes, I would like to,” he responded.

              “Good,” she smiled back at him. Peter felt it was the first time it was genuine. “So, how did you get your spider powers?”

              “A radioactive spider bit me in a school field trip,” he said. She burst out laughing.

              “Are you serious?” she said between laughs. “Oh, this opens up whole new possibilities for Spider themed puns.”

              They laughed and talked for a while before she was interrupted by another call by her Uncle, which she ignored. It was then a text followed with the words ‘You are in trouble, Missy,’ which send shivers down her spine. This was not good.

              She bid Radioactive Spider Human goodbye and headed straight home, where she entered her bedroom through her window. As soon as she stepped on her bedroom floor her Uncle stepped into the room, wearing a worried yet disappointed face. It was the same face her Mother used to give her when she was in trouble.

              “Hi?” she said, before bracing herself for the worst that was to come.

[cheeseeatingtrashmonster]

Who Said That Every Wish Chapter 16: The Many Forms of Magic

More is revealed about Paon. Plagg explains the change with his miraculous.

<< First | < Previous | Next > Read on AO3

Nathalie tried again. Thankfully, Duusu was more than willing to keep transforming her.

Nothing. Darkness. Silence. No smell or taste or touch. Nathalie went the full five minutes in this sensory deprivation, trying to feel anything. The jolt of sensations returning when her transformation dropped was just as overwhelming the nineteenth time as it had been the previous eighteen.

"Take a minute," Duusu said, her little kwami paw on Nathalie's hand where it covered her eyes. The lights were off, the blackout curtains were drawn, the apartment was quiet because Felix was at the hospital (not that he made much... any noise). Still, even the feeling of the carpet fibers beneath her feet was too much after the total lack of everything from using the Peacock's powers.

"Anything?" Duusu asked.

"Nothing," Nathalie said. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees and head in her hands. "An eternal five minutes of nothing again. You're sure that doesn't mean that she's dead?"

"If she was dead, you wouldn't be able to connect. If she was unconscious, you would still be able to hear and maybe feel. If she was asleep, you'd see her dreams and feel wherever she was laying down."

"I should try someone else again, to see if the power itself is still working."

"We tried that," Duusu said, gently tugging Nathalie's hand from her face. "You said you never wanted to know that much about the mayor."

"This power really isn't meant to be used outside of a battle or search and rescue setting," Nathalie said, holding out a few raspberries to Duusu, who landed in her hand to eat.

"Some mysteries cannot be solved," Duusu said.

"I had to try though," Nathalie said. "And, as long as you're with me, I'll have to keep trying from time to time."

"You may want to ask the Guardian about what you're seeing. It's my power, but it's their magic."

"Maybe," Nathalie said, reaching for her tablet. She winced when the screen lit up too bright, but kept it up long enough to compose an email to Fu.

"You should also tell the boys that you've been trying," Duusu said, settling in the nest she had made herself on top of Nathalie's dresser. "They would want to know."

"I don’t want to give them false hope."

"Gabriel should know, too."

"I'm not so sure about that," she said. "He had the miraculous. I'm sure he must have tried himself."

"Sweetie, I'm the Peacock kwami. I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that he never once used my powers. Never even tried me on."

"What do you remember after you and I said goodbye? Obviously, Emilie never returned you. Did she ever activate your miraculous?" Nathalie asked.

"Not much happened. Emilie brought me back out shortly after she got home that night. We talked for a little while. Then, a few years later, she checked on you once. That's it."

"Do you know when that was?" Nathalie asked, trying not to show how hopeful this information made her. If Emilie had used the brooch right before she went missing...

"It was while you were overseas," Duusu said with a pitying look. Nathalie had forgotten how well her kwami read her. "You were making coffee, humming to yourself. You can't sing, Sweetie. Paired with a bird and can't carry a tune. There was someone else there, but I didn't recognize them."

"I was here when she went missing," Nathalie said, more to herself than to Duusu. "Thank you. It's nice to know she thought of me while I was gone."

"I think she kept me because I was a way to check up on you," Duusu said. "She gave Fu the Turtle back before then, from what Wayzz told me."

Nathalie allowed herself a small smile. "Thank you," she said again.

"Get some sleep, Sweetie," Duusu said. "And you probably should consider telling the boys."

/*****/

Because Adrien still wore his ring, Plagg didn't disappear when Felix’s ring came off. Plagg had Nino hand him the miraculous so he could study it uninterrupted in a cupboard where none of the doctors, nurses, or techs would see him.

"Oh my gosh, Nino, you'll never believe what Nathalie just- woah, what's going on?"

Felix, who was half asleep and whose head was on Nino's chest, simply lifted his right hand in the air. Nino, who was fully asleep, must have felt Felix move because his unbroken arm wrapped tighter around him. Both looked emotionally wrung out. There was also the fact that Felix was there at all, much less cuddled up to Nino, seeing as the day before he had refused to show up at the hospital for a Miraculous Team Meeting.

"Hi to you too?" Adrien said, responding to what he thought was a weird half wave.

Felix waved his hand around in a way that seemed more significant and specific than a greeting but definitely not clear enough to actually convey his meaning.

"When did you two make up?"

"Around one or two?" Felix managed to turn a little towards Adrien without waking Nino.

"In the morning?" Adrien asked as he pulled the chair around to see Felix better.

“The ring is off," Felix said. He held his hand up again.

Adrien grabbed his hand, checking the finger for signs of damage. There was scarring and healing scratches that ended abruptly in a patch of clear skin where the ring had been.

"When? Why? How? Where is Plagg? Can he still transform me? Should I wear both rings? Are you quitting for real now? Or do you want to reverse the thing that made my ring and be the only Chat Noir again? What does-"

"Adrien," Felix said. "I don't know. Plagg's around here somewhere. But all the hero stuff? I don't know."

"What does Nino the Guardian in training say about it?"

"Nothing, so far," Felix said. "I think he was too freaked out by how hard I was crying."

"I swear, so far your relationship has been mostly you crying," Adrien said.

"He tells you too much," Felix said, scowling.

"Speaking of being told too much," Adrien said, scowling himself. "I take it Nathalie gave you a similar lecture to the one I just got?"

"Did you know she likes fighting sea monsters?" Felix asked. He didn't want to think about what Nathalie had said at all.

"No, I didn't know that. I hate sea monsters. Mostly the 'sea' part."

"I feel the same. We'll let the Turtle and the Bird handle it next time."

"You two are such cats," Nino said. His voice was gravelly from sleep and he was squinting without his glasses. Felix detangled himself to stand by the bed and stretch.

"We're aware," Felix said. "But we were that way before the miraculous, I think. Will you be offended if I do some stretches while we talk? I haven't gotten to the ballet studio in a while."

"Offended? No," Nino said, the fake innocent look on his face giving away where he was going with this. "Significantly distracted from the conversation? Absolutely."

"I can leave," Adrien offered.

"Never mind," Felix said. He picked up his book and sat at the foot of the bed, pretending that Adrien and Nino couldn't see how red he was turning.

"So!” Adrien said. “Why did the ring come off now of all times? Was it Hawkmoth's defeat?"

"No, it was more recent than that," Felix said, still staring at his book. "I caught the ring on my shirt yesterday and it tugged the skin like it always does. Did."

"True love's kiss," Plagg's muffled voice called from within his cupboard.

"Yes, because we're cartoon characters and fairy tale logic applies here," Felix said, rolling his eyes.

Plagg emerged from the cupboard clutching camembert in one paw and the ring in his other. "True love's kiss from Ladybug worked on Punny Chat when Dislocoeur hit him with an arrow. It worked for Adrien. Why would you assume it wouldn't work for you, too?" Plagg asked.

"Oh, you're serious?" Felix asked. "That has a lot of implications that I... am going to not focus on right now." He glanced at Nino to see the same baffled expression on his face that he felt on his own. "I assume you mean Nino kissing me?" Plagg nodded. "We kissed the night I ran away. Is it a delayed reaction magic kiss effect?" He sighed. “I can’t express how angry it makes me that I just said those words in that combination.”

"That was Nino and Felix. Last night, did Carapace kiss Chat Noir?"

They looked at each other, then both nodded at Plagg.

"There you go. The combination of miraculous magic being active and true love's kiss fixed your miraculous. It's safe now to put on and take off whenever you want. You're free to quit now that Hawkmoth's defeated, but if you put it back on, you're not stuck anymore. You have the freedom to choose whatever you want."

"I am absolutely not putting that back on," Felix spat. "You can't know it's fixed for sure."

"It's literally linked to my life force," Plagg said. "I know for sure. And I was the one to warn you that there was something wrong before you put it on, remember?"

"Oh, I remember," Felix said. He took the ring from Plagg, pinching it between two fingers, and held it out to Adrien. "Take it. Wear both, combine them, don't, it's up to you. I meant what I said. I'm done being Chat Noir."

Adrien started to protest, but Nino held a hand out. "Okay. I told you, whatever you need. That's fine. Right, Adrien?"

Adrien nodded and wondered how he could have ever missed the way Felix looked at Nino. No one made Felix look that happy and at peace.

/*****/

"What if, after graduation, I traveled for a while?" Felix asked the next day during physical therapy. "I know things are new with us, and I would miss you, but... I'm free. I'm free from my father, I'm free from... work..." It was a flimsy cover, but when talking in front of Karen they had talked about Felix "quitting his job" instead of "being freed from his broken miraculous."

"I'm not gonna lie, I'd miss you a lot,” Nino said, fighting with his crutch. "But that sounds like exactly what you need."

"You could come with me," he said. "Or Adrien. Or Marinette. Or Nathaniel. Or I could go alone. But being able to get up and leave just because I want to... I've read so much about so many places. I'd like to see some of them."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Nino said. "Depends on when you leave and how long you'll be gone though. It'll be a while before I can do long tourist type walking, and then there’s university in the fall."

"We'll figure out something," Felix said.

"That is a very un-Felix approach and I like it," Nino said.

The door to the physical therapy room creaked open. The boys ignored it since they were in the middle of an exercise, but Karen addressed the visitor.

"Can I help you? This is a private session."

"I apologize, I was looking for Felix."

"Nathalie!" Nino called. "That is not your happy face. Here I was hoping you came looking for us for a good reason this time."

"Unfortunately, no. Felix, I'm sorry to take you away from assisting Nino, but I need your help."

Felix turned to apologize to Nino (or ask him to beg him to stay because that was definitely not Nathalie's happy face, so whatever she wanted couldn’t be good). Before he could get out a word though, Nino gave him a quick, accepting smile and said, "Text me what happens."

"I'll probably be back later," Felix said. Nino patted his shoulder and Felix followed Nathalie out.

"What is it?" He asked in the hall.

“It’s your father.”

[picturesinlove]

THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT: a *super* unoriginal ‘best films of 2017′ list

In life, we’re constantly asked what we learnt from things. It’s one way of measuring a completely immeasurable experience. Most films are built on this- ’character arcs’- how do they change and grow? What do they learn? (That’s not a negative thing, just the mechanics of this stick out when it’s done badly). With that in mind, I asked myself, from everything I watched this year, what did I learn?

THE BEST 12 ‘FILMS’ of 2017:

The first thing I learnt- films and TV series have become indistinguishable. It didn’t happen solely this year, but 2017 is definitely the ‘flag in the road’ point. Films are increasingly designed so they can be watched on a small screen with headphones, and most TV should really be watched on a big screen with proper speakers. And TV is sort of the wrong word. Netflix isn’t TV. I don’t know what it is. Just Long Form Storytelling perhaps? It’s certainly becoming less and less episodic. More and more feel like 10 hour films split into 10 parts so you can digest it better. So, this list is really the best 12 *things* of 2017.

The second thing I learnt- how you watch something is almost as important as what you’re watching. What headspace you were in, what time of day it was, if the room was totally dark, if someone a few rows in front of you was talking through the movie, if you’d seen the previous instalments in the series, hell- even if you’d seen the trailer. It all adds to how you think about the film. So, on the list, I’ve included where I saw it.

12. THE DISASTER ARTIST (directed by James Franco)

True story about the making of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, the best worst film ever made.

I cried like I haven’t cried in years watching this. I don’t know what it was. Just something about the last act hit me so hard I couldn’t contain myself. And when you’re trying to contain yourself BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A SAD FILM AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE CRYING EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU IS LAUGHING PLEASE STOP CRYING it’s really hard to stop. It’s a story of ambition, heart and following your dreams no matter what.

Green screen! Lovely green screeeeen! Purely on an aesthetic level, whenever they’re shooting against that unmistakable, vibrant colour I just loved it.

You know when films do that thing and show pictures of the real people the film’s about before the credits so you can go ‘wow this film’s so accurate and got that detail right’?? This does a version of that, and it’s the only one that’s ever mattered/will ever matter.

The real Tommy Wiseau also has my favourite film related tweet of 2017:

Seen at BFI Southbank.

11. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK SEASON 5 (created by Jenji Kohan)

The lives of the women at Litchfield Penitentiary, a minimum-security prison in upstate New York. (the annimalllsss the animalllls, TRAP TRAP TRAP till the cage is fulllll...)

This show is about everything the opening titles suggest- women, decisions and time. What’s striking about OITNB is the characters never serve the plot. Plot *is* character. It’s there to serve them. It gives us a framework to waste time with these characters, because ‘all they’ve got is time’.

Season 5 is brave in terms of content and form. There are thousands of people more qualified to speak about the content, so I’ll leave it to them. Form wise: Orange is the New Black is Netflix’s most watched show, and probably it’s major tentpole along with Stranger Things. It has a well-oiled structure. Each season takes place over a few weeks, each episode focusses us in on one character, complete with flashbacks that inform us how they ended up in prison. Season 5 tears that to shreds, setting it basically in real time over 3 days. When it works, it *really* works. There’s no looking away. You feel the grind of what they’re going through. It sometimes leaves them too much time to pad out and we get some boring side plots- but on ambition alone I loved it.

It’s the perfect continuation and accumulation of previous seasons in many ways. The characters you know and love are in extraordinary circumstances. It brings out sides to their personalities that you never knew were there, but fit perfectly. Where all the characters are situated within the prison after the inciting incident is the best use of character geography *as* character I’ve ever seen. Tonally the series has gradually been getting nastier and nastier for a while, but there’s a scene towards the end of this season which is so nasty and so long and REFUSES to cut away even though you desperately, desperately want them too. It’s raw. It hurts. It’s a scene the show has always been heading for tonally and building towards dramatically. 

Season 5 slots in just under 4 for me in terms of ranking them all- but it’s still damn good. One things for certain, 5 changed everything for OITNB. The game is different. 

Oh, and Nicky’s the MVP. 

Netflix.

10. BAD GENIUS (directed by Nattawut Poonpiriya)

Thai Heist-Thriller. A genius high school student makes money after developing elaborate methods to help other students cheat.

WHAT A FUCKING RIDE!! The most fun I’ve had in a cinema all year. More stakes in this than most ‘end of the world’ superhero movies. Genuinely unpredictable.

The filmmaking is so good it makes you forget plausibility is sometimes being pushed. Amazing set-pieces. Expertly choreographed. Form and content perfectly married. This is the best way to tell this story, like a Michael Mann thriller, a Steven Soderbergh Oceans-style heist.

Every character is so rich and textured in their own way. So fully realised. You’ve met them all at some point in your life. It’s whimsical, but painful and genuinely emotional when it needs to be. Never pulls it’s punches.

2 years time, there will almost certainly be an American remake… and it’ll suck so hard. It’s rooted in Thailand, the socio-economic situation of people, the time zones, the pressure to succeed, and honestly- just hearing it in Thai. 

SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. SEE THIS FILM. If you take anything from reading any of this, SEE THIS FILM.

Seen at Vue Leicester Square.

9. NATHAN FOR YOU: FINDING FRANCES (directed by Nathan Fielder)

The feature-length finale of Nathan For You’s 4th season. It’s a show that’s difficult to describe without saying ‘trust me’.... but honestly, *trust me*. Nathan Fielder graduated from business school with ‘really good grades’. He offers outlandish solutions to solve problems for struggling small businesses. In Finding Frances, Fielder uses all the resources of his successful show to help an old Bill Gates impressionist track down his high school sweetheart. Trust me.

Nathan Fielder has accidentally and totally on purpose made one of the best documentaries of the last 10 years.

It’s funny how we remember things. Reality and fiction are blurred. Truth is irrelevant. What does real mean? Does it even matter if we remember it how we want to?

Laptop.

8. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI (directed by Martin McDonagh)

A mother takes desperate steps to pressure local law enforcement to find her daughter’s killer.

Perfectly woven and layered characters. I fucking hate the phrase ‘the character arc’, but if I were teaching a class in it- I’d show this film.

A film about relationships, and every relationship between every character or creature or inanimate object is perfect.

McDonagh loves theatrical sensibilities. Nobody does grand, rich set-pieces quite like him… makes highly stylised situations feel real in the world he sets up.

I could have watched hours more of these characters interacting.

Seen at Embankment Garden Cinema.

7. BLADE RUNNER 2049 (directed by Denis Villeneuve)

Neo-noir, sci-fi sequel to Ridley Scott’s 1981 classic.

I’m not a fan of the original Blade Runner. I appreciate it! It’s beautiful! and groundbreaking! but I just find it so heartless and cold. I just can’t connect to it. The best sci-fis are amazing stories with really fun furniture (the gadgets, tech etc.) The original is too much furniture for me. In other words, I had no reason to like this one IP wise. 2049 takes everything that could have been interesting from the original and expands on that. The furniture is just that- furniture. An amazing setting that enriches and serves the story. Everything is there to tell the story. I left the cinema feeling I’d experienced something the way that everyone talks about experiencing the first one.

The most expensive art film ever made. I literally cannot believe this exists. I cannot believe they gave Villeneuve £185MILLION to make a 3-hour long, philosophical film that has no blockbuster tropes: no loveable rogue hero; no ‘off-beat’ quippy humour to keep you interested; no CGI extravaganza 3rd act; NO.FUCKING.SKYBEAM with floating garbage spinning around it that threatens to destroy the world and the heroes have to stop it before everyone in the world dies; no setting up 5 other already planned sequels in the franchise so nothing important happens in this one. It’s a rare type of blockbuster in 2017- one that trusts it’s audience is intelligent.

Denis Villeneuve really is the most exciting director working today. This is just further proof. Arrival (2016) still my favourite of his, but I’m almost more in awe of him for this. Taking such a well-loved franchise and doing something new with it in a way that still feels respectful of what’s come before. It’s his film.

The only use of Hollywood’s new trend of digitally recreating actors (ala Peter Cushing in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) that will ever matter. THIS is how you do it well.

Gender politics (we’re gunna’ go there, SPOILERS AHEAD and I know my opinion doesn’t really matter or count for anything on this just thought it’d be silly not to bring it up, feel free to disagree, v. interested to hear what everyone thinks about this!!) Lots has been written about the treatment of female characters in 2049. Most apt example I can think of to explain how I feel- Taxi Driver (1976), there’s a cafe scene in which the camera lingers on some black characters for uncomfortably long in a kind of parading manner, a ‘look at how terrible these guys are’ manner... it’s very understandable why one could interpret the film itself as racist. I’d argue the film is completely aware of what it’s doing- it’s putting us in Travis Bickle’s eyes, who is a racist character. I mean, we’re literally in his head the whole thing, hearing what he’s thinking and seeing what he’s seeing... I guess what I’m saying is- ‘it’s a decision.’ It’s not an offhand random shot where the filmmaker’s own gaze comes through, it’s a skilfully planned decision to make us question and think about something, in Taxi Driver’s case- what kind of man Bickle is. The treatment of women in 2049 *IS* a decision. It’s not Villeneuve lazily commodifying women, it’s him saying a world where women are only a commodity is a fucking bleak one. It’s a world where real women have been rendered obsolete because the height of success in our society (the CEO of a large corporation), an egoistical white guy with a god-complex manufactures life so women aren’t necessary for continuing the human race, and creates holographic partners for everyday men so they’re emotionally fulfilled without having to engage with actual women. And it’s so horrible. I mean, is anybody happy in this film? Is the picture of the future this film paints bright? It’s a film about how the arrogance of men will destroy everything. And on a base story level, it’s literally about guy who thinks everything is about him... but it turns out to be about a woman. Perhaps it’s lazy for the film to make the decision ‘it’s a patriarchal world so all the women are prostitutes and are treated badly so we’re just gunna’ do that’, but I dunno’... I think there’s more going on. I think Villeneuve is too good for that. I mean his last film was literally about a genius female linguist being the saviour of the world and how a mother’s love is the most precious thing. Would he really do such a U-turn and make a film where the female characters are just objects to be gazed at? I mean- maybe?? If any other aspect of the film felt like it was the studio meddling with Villenueve’s vision I’d buy that... but it’s just SO his film. And I think he’s clever enough to know who the primary audience of this film is- geeky 20 year-old guys. He draws them in with the surface (and all too familiar) images of the female characters, and then turns all of that on it’s head. Just my opinion. Obviously I can never be completely impartial- very happy to be converted the other way. 

Seen at Picturehouse Central.

6. CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (directed by Luca Guadagnino)

Somewhere in Northern Italy, Summer 1983, Elio’s life changes.

Sun-drenched Europe, the smell of warmth and twirling cigarette smoke, deep blue sky- pure, breakfast with a glass of apricot juice and an espresso, the sound of bike spokes spinning lazily.

I wish I could live with these people.

‘Later.’

The rawest and best final shot in the last 10 years.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square.

5. THE BIG SICK (directed by Michael Showalter)

A Pakistani-born standup comedian/Uber driver and a grad student strike up an unlikely relationship.

MAGIC. The perfect retort to use when someone says ‘all rom-coms suck’. A genuine slab of gold that’s as funny as it is heartfelt. And it’s just SO the kind of thing I like.

I’m unbelievably bored of films and just art in general that’s terrified of being sincere in fear of being labelled sappy or over-sentimental. The Big Sick says ‘fuck you’ to that school of thought and goes for it. 

Comedy, romance and drama are effortlessly blended- sometimes all in the same scene. And it never feels off-kilter, mainly due to the amazing performances. Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Ray Romano, Holly Hunter and the rest of the cast always play the truth of the scene- not the humour, the romance or the drama, just the TRUTH of the moment.

The perfect antidote to the year 2017 in general.

Seen at Aldeburgh Cinema.

4. YOU WERE NEVER REALLY HERE (directed by Lynne Ramsay)

Gulf War veteran Joe rescues children from trafficking rings.

This is a horror. And more terrifying than any jump scare, this whole film is populated by ghosts.

Deeply troubled, deeply disturbed. Beautiful. Precise. Scatter-brained. Focused. A violin strung too tightly, then played by a madman. How can something so stripped down and raw feel so symphonic and wholesome?

There are things in this that will play on loop in my head for the rest of my life. Images and sounds so seared into my brain they find me at the strangest of moments in a day, and I’m always left thinking about them for the rest of that day. It’s clever like that. Joe can never escape what he’s seen. 

Francis Ford Coppola famously told press at the 1979 Cannes premiere of Apocalypse Now - ‘My film is not about Vietnam. It is Vietnam.’

You Were Never Really Here is not about PTSD... it is PTSD.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square.

3. LOGAN (directed by James Mangold)

Wolverine’s last outing.

I’m not a huge fan of superhero films. Most are fun. Most are also lazy. Few will survive the test of time. Those that will use all the tricks in their genre box and do something interesting with them, transcend- Rami’s Spiderman 2 (2004), Bird’s The Incredibles (2004), Nolan’s The Dark Knight (2008)... and Mangold’s Logan. 

So aged. So weary. Everyone is tired. Tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of living. Like three sharp metal claws jaggedly tearing through flesh, nothing is polished about this. Bloodshot eyes, skin like leather. He feels so much regret. Like most real heroes, he mourns those he couldn’t save rather than celebrates those he did. And it’s eaten him up inside for the hundreds of years he’s lived.

Here I go talking about furniture again... but every piece of furniture (superpowers etc.) is there to serve the story (and here the characters are story). Like so many blockbusters and superhero movies fail to do, this film is about something other than the furniture... e.g. how do you tell a story about dementia that gives someone who hasn’t experienced a family member suffering from it *that* feeling of sadness, loss, embarrassment, empathy and frustration? You give it to Charles Xavier (played by Patrick Stewart), a character you’re use to seeing as the leader, who always has a clever plan up his sleeve and has the ability to control other’s minds. You give it to him, and you force everyone watch the person they respected the most have to be lifted into bed while screaming about fast-food. It’s heartbreaking. Complex. It’s actually about something other than how in superhero world teamwork saves the day. Every ‘plot point’ and moment tells us something about these characters, even to a fault sometimes. SUBTLE: Logan pulling them jammed claws the way an old boy down the pub with arthritis feels his fingers. UNSUBTLE BUT STILL INTERESTING: making Logan fight the only thing he’s truly scared of- literally the version of himself that blindly obeys orders.

Everyone is SO fucking real. Just *watch* the way Daphne Keen eats that bowl of cereal.

Would highly recommend watching the ‘Noir’ Black & White version. 

mild spoilers: It also features the best single edit of the year, from Laura stabbing the shit out of some dude to a flurry of scattered drum beats in the score... then that piercing animalistic roar rips through and all is silent... she spins.... from this:

CUT to this:

An empty forest, the roar echoes out... a low bass note tolls like a funeral. Something is coming. Help is on the way, but it’s an untamed, ruthless, violent help. He’s near...

No one single cut has ever given me chills like that before.

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square & Picturehouse Central (Noir version)

2. TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

Agent Cooper’s odyssey back to the small town of Twin Peaks. The original series of Twin Peaks that aired in the early 90s is often cited as creating ‘prestige’ television as we know it today- your Game of Thrones’, HBO high-quality, Netflix and so on... 25 years later, David Lynch and Mark Frost have returned to kill it. 

Earth-shattering. Groundbreaking. An 18-hour film (split into 16 parts) so layered, so complex i’m not even sure where to begin... and most of what I have to say has probably been written by someone else much more eloquently. 

For the first 9 hours, I found The Return mostly frustrating. I love the original series so, so much (and the prequel film Fire Walk With Me is one of my favourite films of all time). When I hit hour 10, it was like all the clouds in my head suddenly cleared. I ‘got’ it. What I thought I wanted was all my favourite characters back again talking about cherry pie and coffee with that soft romantic filter. Lynch and Frost (the creators) knew I wanted that. They also knew I didn’t *really* want that... because, the original series will always exist. They knew nothing would disappoint more than a soft reboot. The Return is it’s own thing- within the universe of Twin Peaks, and... within the actual universe. Seriously, how can you categorise this? It jumps from screwball slapstick comedy to silent black and white existentialist horror to 10 minute live band performances... what is the point of even trying to categorise it?

On some of the individual parts: Part 3 is a low-fi, surrealist, near silent masterpiece. Part 8 is... ‘Pure Heroin Lynch’ and has already changed TV forever. Part 11 is the most satisfying instalment, fulfilling storylines from the original series in a measured and poignant way. Part 17 is the conclusion we wanted, sort of... Part 18 is the start of a new mystery, and one of the most haunting things I’ve ever seen.

Twin Peaks will change you life.

Seen on Laptop.

1. THE FLORIDA PROJECT (directed by Sean Baker)

In the shadow of Disney World, 6 year-old Moonee and her friends spend the summer playing around the Motels they live in, while her mother Halley struggles to find a new job.

Pastel bright colours. Every person has survived a storm. Explore the wasteland of failed corporate America. Become a child again. The endless spinning of helicopter blades, a constant reminder of what they can’t do- escape. 

Doesn’t ask you to like the characters. Doesn’t need to. Moonee has seen too much. Halley’s anger at herself and her life bubbles underneath every word and action, but she just doesn’t know how to fix it.

It is *SO* achingly beautiful it hurts. I find it hard to even watch the trailer without crying.

For the problems that face Moonee, honorary queen of The Magic Castle Motel, and the impending darkness that’s sure to come, she has the most powerful gift of all- finding hope where there is none. 

‘See, I took you on a safari.’ 

Seen at Odeon Leicester Square & ICA.

DISCLAIMER- things that are not out yet in the UK/I shamefully haven’t yet seen and would likely be on my list too: Lady Bird (further DISCLAIMER i would actually kill somebody to see this) A Ghost Story Raw Phantom Thread War for the Planet of The Apes Coco American Vandal Mindhunter

BEST SCENES:

The third thing I learnt this year- it’s impossible to talk about a specific scene in a film without spoiling it. So... SPOILERS.

The Stairway Fight - ATOMIC BLONDE (directed by David Leitch)

If someone could tell me what the fuck was going on in Atomic Blonde that’d be great but until then I’ll just marvel at how amazing the fight sequences are. Charlize Theron again puts herself at the centre of the progression of American action cinema following her iconic performance in Mad Max: Fury Road (2015). From the first time we see her, lying in an expensive bath healing her wounds and soothing her bruises, we know at some point we’re going to see how she got them. CUE: The 15 minute stairway fight sequence, made to look like a single continuous shot. Leitch and Chad Stahelski (his frequent collaborator and director of the also brilliant John Wick: Chapter 2) are determined to show general audiences what good action scenes look like. This 15-min beauty harkens back to the almost dance like hospital shootout in Hard Boiled (1992), with the rawness and determination of a Children of Men (2006) tracking shot. Charlize Theron (as MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton) fights her way through swarms of henchmen over several floors of an abandoned block of flats, all the while trying to protect Eddie Marsan (who wouldn’t want to protect Eddie Marsan??) Every punch, kick and throw HURTS. By the end, she and the final henchman are so exhausted there’s a sense they might just call the whole thing off- but something pushes them on. Oh, and there’s a 5 minute car chase all part of the same shot to end. Also features the BEST LINE OF 2017. In retort to the final henchman strangling her desperately whispering ‘Take this, bitch!’, she turns the tables, stabs him up hard, then before delivering the final knockdown, pushes her nose to his and asks- ‘Am I your bitch now?’ She doesn’t wait for a reply.

The Eyeless Woman - TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

Lynch’s best nightmare.

Train Hysterics - LAST FLAG FLYING (directed by Richard Linklater)

2003. A Vietnam veteran recruits his two oldest buddies, who he served with, to accompany him on a journey no one should ever have to take. 

I liked this movie a lot- just missed out on the top 12 list. The standout scene happens little over half way through, the characters sitting in a storage carriage of a train talking about losing their virginities. It’s the best ‘characters uncontrollably laughing’ scene since The Intouchables (2011). 

The Snowball epilogue - STRANGER THINGS 2 (directed by The Duffer Brothers)

Stranger Things season 2 was super mixed for me. I enjoyed it a lot. Kind of. 

The first series is a perfect little story, with a perfect beginning, middle and end. I god damn *love* it’s characters so, so much. The plot was simple remixed 80s nostalgia beats, but really just a vehicle for you to get to know Mike and Eleven and Nancy etc. Think about how much each and every scene was practically designed to reveal more about who they were. It was so beautiful. Season 2 however had wayyyyy too much plot which was obsessed with itself and how cool it was and as a result left characters with nothing to do. In other words, in Season 1 all the characters had something to do because the plot came from them, in season 2 characters were given plot roles... like, explain to me what Mike did all season before he saw Eleven again at the v end of episode 8?? What did Jonathan’s storyline tell us about him we didn’t already know? Sure, they don’t have to set up who they are all over again, but the best sequels never take for granted we love the characters- they give us new reasons to love them. 

It’s clear to see whose storylines had natural progressions from season 1 and they knew where they were going, and those they had to think of something because Netflix desperately wanted another season quickly. The only original characters season 2 really worked for were Steve and Will. ‘Steve The Babysitter’ was the perfect progression for his character- him voluntarily discarding his Alpha-Jock status, seeing it was all bullshit, now his caring side comes out. Fuck, think how much you disliked Steve all of Season 1 compared to how much you love and deeply want him to be ok at the end of season 2. THAT’s good writing. His storyline was perfect for his character, it kept giving us new reasons to love him. And Will. Holy shit. His descent into Reagan-level possession was the most engaging part of season 2. Basically all of the story came from him. And Noah Schnapp is so damn good. I think simplicity is the key. His story was unpredictable till the last moments, when you realise it was inevitable. It has a clear premise, unlike most of season 2. 

In the first, there were very clear overarching premises from the start- Will Byers is missing, Eleven has escaped from the Lab, the Demogorgon is on the loose. Simple premises that allow our characters to manoeuvre around... Season 2 doesn’t really have one other than Will is clearly still connected to the Upside Down... the Mind Flayer doesn’t really start as a concept till the penultimate episode... Hopper and Eleven living together maybbe?? but we’re not really given enough time with them. Everyone else is left with nothing to do, or something that doesn’t really serve their character... UNTIL THE LAST 15 MINUTES.

The Snowball epilogue was like coming to the surface after swimming laps underwater- I sort of enjoyed the laps but I’d rather just be able to breath. All the self-indulgent 80s nostalgia *plot* is done, and all the characters have interesting things to do!! Steve giving Dustin tips dropping him off, and then that longing look he gives towards the hall. Dustin realising ‘I don’t look like Steve Harrington’ after being rejected by every girl at the ball and dejectedly crying... and in comes Nancy to save the day!! Genuinely one of the most beautiful moments in anything all year (notice how we learn more about Nancy’s true nature in this one moment that anything else she really did all season??) Jonathan nearby keeping an eye on Will and being his helpful self taking the Ball pictures. Lucas ignoring what the rest of the group think about Max and asking her to dance. Will actually going to the ball, acting as normal as he can and dancing with someone!! Joyce and Hopper nervously wait outside and reminiscently share a smoke as they did in their highschool days- contemplating on how they probably won’t ever feel like they aren’t worried about their kids... and finally Mike and Eleven just having a bit of happiness for once- actually going to the Snowball together, a beautiful conclusion after speaking about it at the end of Season 1.

As each moment passed in this glorious sequence, I loved the characters more and more. They aren’t doing anything supernatural or life threatening, but the stakes feel SO much higher than they had all season. It’s real. They aren’t shackled with ‘advancing the plot’, they can just be themselves. And I loved it.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:

Time’s Arrow, Episode 11, BoJack Horseman Season 4 (created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg)

BoJack Horseman has been the most visually beautiful cartoon for a while now, it’s breathtaking season 3 silent underwater adventure Fish out of Water helped to gain it much appreciated wide applause. Time’s Arrow is a different beast. Genuinely horrifying. A mind cracked into a thousand pieces and glued back together into something resembling crazy paving. The animation is disturbing. Really disturbing. The nightmarish images running through the failing mind of an old woman with dementia. Images of her regrets, the neglect and abuse at the hands of her parents. Memories burn and melt away like plastic in a fire. The faceless humans and constant scribble over Henrietta’s face haunts me. Beyond the obvious sinister imagery, it means something. A puzzle with too many missing pieces to really make out what the picture actually is. And we’ll never really know.

It’s not the first thing that pops into mind when you think of ‘cinematography’, but Time’s Arrow is the best visual storytelling since... the previous season of BoJack Horseman.

BEST PERFORMANCES:

Cate Blanchett as various in MANIFESTO (directed by Julian Rosefeldt)

Originally a critically acclaimed multi-screen video installation in which Cate Blanchett plays 13 different characters, ranging from a school teacher to a homeless man, performing artist’s manifestos in 13 different scenarios. Part of the financing deal was Rosefeldt had to cut a 90 minute, linear version of the piece for a cinematic setting.

NO one could have pulled this off like she did. She’s running on adrenaline and pure bravery. She makes interesting choices at every twist and turn. How does looking at her never get tiresome? Every jump from character to character feels genuine. She blew my mind- I knew I was looking at the same person over and over again, but I also *knew* I was looking at 13 different people. 

A masterclass.

Kyle MacLachlan as various in TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN (directed by David Lynch)

2017 is the year of staggering ‘multi-character’ performances. Kyle MacLachlan’s involvement in the new season of Twin Peaks was basically the only thing anyone knew about it going in. And he is the heart of this season in so many ways. Returning to a character 25 years later must be a daunting prospect, but MacLachlan shows no fear. Not only does he play the pragmatic, joyful Agent Cooper we all know and love, he plays his steely, pure evil doppelganger Mr C, child-like amnesiac Dougie Jones and in the final episode... someone quite special. And he makes it look so damn easy. He is the fabric that holds together The Return.

THE ‘KIDS’ in EVERYTHING

2017 has been a bad year for Hollywood. Ultimately though, it will be looked back on as the turning point. THINGS CHANGE NOW. The old guard is running from their past scared. And they should be scared. Uma Thurman is coming to murder them all. There is no room left for the Harvey Weinstein’s, the rotting core of top-down abuse has been exposed. Brett Ratner can fuck off with his swaggering playboy image and terrible movies. 

What is truly uplifting is who is going to replace them. A new generation of pure, true artists that this year has shone a spotlight on.

The future is Brooklynn Prince and Bria Vinaite, stars of The Florida Project. The future is Timothée Chalamet, whose central performance in Call Me By Your Name is the realist, rawest thing ever. The future is Saoirse Ronan, the next Meryl Streep. The future is Daniel Kaluuya, who has finally gained world-wide recognition for his stunning leading performance in Get Out. The future is Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown and all of the kids from Stranger Things, who masterfully manage the horrific pressures of being thrust into the tabloid spotlight at the same age most of us just want to cry in our rooms. The future is Sophia Lillis and the rest of the Loser’s Club from IT (a film with the most oppressively terrible sound design ever yet they still manage to make it fun and watchable.) The future is Daphne Keen, the best on-screen cereal-eater who almost steals the film from Hugh Jackman in Logan. The future is Lucas Hedges, someone with rare human fingerprint over every word he speaks in Three Billboards and last year in Manchester By The Sea. The future is Donald Glover, the most creative, multi-talented young artist alive. The future is Caleb Landry Jones, who’s had maybe the most impressive year, with standout supporting roles in The Florida Project, Twin Peaks: The Return, Get Out and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. The future is Tessa Thompson, the best thing about Thor: Ragnarok.  The future is Michael B. Jordan, Chadwick Boseman, Lupita Nyong'o, all the team behind the upcoming Black Panther film, helmed by Ryan Coogler. The future is Barry Jenkins, director of best picture winner Moonlight. The future is Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver and Kelly Marie Tran, the new faces of the most popular franchise ever. The future is Alice Lowe, a force to be reckoned with. Writing, directing and starring in a feature film is difficult enough. She did all of that while heavily pregnant. Oh, and it was her debut feature. It’s called Prevenge and it rocks. The future is Ava Duvernay, a beacon of hope- cannot wait for A Wrinkle in Time, which drops early next year. The future is Sean Baker, the most empathetic filmmaker working today. The future is Patty Jenkins and Gal Godot who have revolutionised the superhero film and inspired a generation of little girls with Wonder Woman.  The future is Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan, who I’ll follow in whatever they do after The Big Sick. The Future is Jordan Peele, the most exciting new director. The future is GRETA GERWIG, mumblecore queen turned saviour of cinema.

So, what did I learn this year? Well, Agent Dale Cooper is certainly one of the best characters of all time. But most of all: amongst the darkness of everything that’s happened within the film industry in 2017... there’s hope.

The future is bright.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Heely beloved, we are gathered here today

(The theme for week 2 of A-Typical April is LOVE, so it seemed like a good time to write the fic version of this silly post right here -- aka THE RIDICULOUSLY FLUFFY RAREPAIR STORY ABOUT SKATING AND HEELYS THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR)

[AO3]

Chapter One (there are only gonna be like 3 don’t worry)

It wasn’t entirely Adrien’s choice to propose marriage to Chloé Bourgeois. After all, they had made a marriage pact in their early childhood, both their families were wealthy and influential, and now that they were in their twenties, their fathers were both urging each other to settle down already, claiming a marriage between them would be good for publicity.

Adrien liked Chloé, he really did. Not as anything more than a friend, that was for certain, but he didn’t mind the idea of spending the rest of his life with her. She had long grown out of her bratty behaviour back in middle school and now was a confident, beautiful young lady who anyone would be lucky to have. Even as adults they still spent a lot of time in each other’s company. He expected her to readily accept when he finally popped the question one sunny afternoon at a tea party they were having at her father’s hotel.

He definitely had not expected her answer to be, “Sorry Adrien, I’m a lesbian!”

“Wait, what?”

Adrien wasn’t sure he had heard right. His hand holding out the engagement ring dropped a little.

“I’m a lesbian,” Chloé repeated, leaning forward and pressing shut the lid of the ring box. “I have a girlfriend.”

Really? And he had never noticed, all this time?

“Don’t look so shocked, darling!” She let out a chuckle. “I know your gaydar isn’t exactly up-to-scratch, but it can’t really be that much of a surprise, can it?”

Adrien slowly got to his feet, putting the ring box back into his pocket. “My gaydar is completely non-existent so this really is a surprise… but it’s probably a good one. Because to tell the truth, um, I’m not actually in love with you. I just asked you to marry me because–”

“Because it’s what our families want,” she finished. “I understand. But that’s no reason to marry someone, and I’m certainly not going to marry you just because my father thinks it’s a good idea. I’m going to marry someone who I want to, and I think you deserve the same.”

“Thanks, Chloé. You’re right. But my choices are just so limited, since my father won’t accept anyone whose family isn’t respectable enough, and I hardly know anyone else wealthy enough to even consider it!”

“There are plenty of lovely wealthy people out there, Adrikins! You’ll surely find someone.” She sat down on her chair again and began pouring herself another cup of tea.

“I don’t know,” Adrien muttered. “Now that I’m out of school, you know my father keeps me too busy to really get to know anyone new. I’m not sure I would want to marry someone who I haven’t already known for a long time, but none of my current friends are the kind of people my father would allow!”

Chloé took a sip from the tiny porcelain tea cup. “You’re an adult, Adrien, you don’t need to allow your father to boss you around. My own father doesn’t know I’m a lesbian yet but I’ll certainly be telling him soon. I doubt he’ll be happy, but there’s nothing he can do about it, is there?”

“I suppose…” He slumped down onto a chair too. “But I want to make my father proud. I don’t want him cutting me off or anything, and I just… it’s difficult. Who else could I possibly marry other than someone I don’t know and can’t get to know well enough to love?”

He thought about his close friends. Marinette and Alya had already married each other last year, so obviously they were not an option. Nino was someone who Adrien had considered proposing to more than once, but not only was he not from a wealthy or respectable family, he was a boy too! That would be far too scandalous to deal with. He hoped Chloé’s own preferences wouldn’t end up marring her reputation, though she was probably confident enough to handle something like that with ease.

Chloé put her cup down and leaned forwards, smiling. “You already know several people your father would approve of. Think of school, Adrien. Who do you remember from school who has a wealthy family? Other than me, of course.”

Adrien thought back to when he was a teenager, trying to remember. Most of his memories from back then were to do with being Chat Noir and helping defend Paris with his partner Ladybug. He had been crushing on her a lot at the time, that was for sure, though after she turned out to be Marinette his feelings had transformed into something a lot more platonic.

But who else had been at school? Did he have any wealthy classmates?

“Lila,” he said, remembering her suddenly. “Lila Rossi has a respectable family. She even used to have a crush on me. I could…”

He trailed off, noticing that Chloé was giggling.

“Oh, Adrien! I’m afraid you have no chance with Lila whatsoever – who did you think my girlfriend was?”

“What? Your girlfriend is Lila?”

“Yes!”

Adrien stared, trying to let it sink in. How could he have not known this? He spent so much time around Chloé, and yet she had never even given the slightest hint! In fact, it was impressive how much of a secret she had kept it! Especially considering how much she loved to talk about her life!

Well, either that or Adrien’s gaydar was just that terrible.

“Wow,” he said, proceeding to take a long swig of tea, ignoring that it burnt his tongue. “You two do make a very fashionable couple.”

“I know, of course we do. Lila is the most incredible girlfriend anyone could have. If I’m going to marry anyone at all, it’s her. I love her so much.”

“That’s really sweet!”

“Yes, but it doesn’t solve your dilemma. You’re not thinking hard enough – I specifically remember someone else in our collège class whose family was rich enough to rival both of ours.”

Adrien sat against the back of the chair, pondering over it. Who could it be?

“It’s not a boy, is it?” he asked quickly. “Not that I would be against that, my brain doesn’t seem to take gender into account when it comes to falling in love, but I doubt my father would be happy about…”

“No, not a boy,” said Chloé, smirking, “though if all you looked at was her wardrobe then you’d probably mistake her for one…”

“Well the only girl I know who shops in the men’s section is Alya, and she’s already married!”

“Oh Adrien, you really are forgetful, you naïve little kitten.” Chloé took another sip of her tea. “Of course it’s isn’t Alya, it’s someone else. And someone who I’m surprised doesn’t stick better in your memory – I personally find it hard to forget someone with hair such a hideous shade of pink.”

Pink hair? That could only mean…

“Surely you don’t mean Alix.”

“I do.”

“But… she’s…”

There was an awkward silence while Chloé waited for him to find the words he wanted to say. He did indeed remember Alix, but he had been sure Chloé couldn’t have been talking about her, of all people. Alix was about as far away from respectable as you could get.

“She’s not wealthy, is she?” he asked finally.

“Her family certainly is. Respected historians and scientists for generations down the line. Her father practically owns the Louvre. And I’m sure even you remember that high tech pocket watch of hers. Her family is absolutely loaded, and your father would agree.”

Adrien was still too surprised to take it in properly, but… Chloé was right, wasn’t she? The Kubdels were wealthy. Alix was a girl his age. He had known her for a long time now. Other than Chloé and Lila, well, wasn’t this what he was looking for?

“I’ll… I’ll think about it,” he said, looking down at his hands and fiddling with his Miraculous.

“That’s the spirit!”

“But I haven’t really talked to her properly in so long. We were friends back at school, but now…”

“Ask her to teach you how to rollerskate.”

Adrien looked up to see that Chloé wasn’t even looking at him – she sat casually filing her nails, a somewhat amused smile on her face.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? To just out of the blue–”

“It’s a perfect idea. Her museum day job hardly takes up her time, she’ll thank you for it. And you’ll get to learn a new skill, which will persuade your father to allow some time out of your schedule for lessons. After all, I’m sure you must get tired of modelling all the time.”

“I really do,” Adrien said, nodding. “But it’s just that… Oh, I don’t know. It feels unfair to just choose her like that. As if I suddenly start hanging out with an old friend again just because my father wants me to marry someone and it may as well be her.”

“Well, what other choice do you have? If this is your best option then you might as well go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? You decide you don’t want to marry her, or she says no when you ask, but the two of you still remain good friends just like you and I. It seems a win-win situation.”

“It does sound better when you put it like that, I guess. It would be nice to make better friends with her. She’s really cool.”

Chloé put a hand over her heart. “Aww, see? You already like her!”

“What? No I just – I was just – well she is cool, you can’t deny it!” He hurriedly took another sip of his tea, trying to look casual.

“Personally I always thought she was just a bit weird, but if you say she’s cool then I suppose she must be. Anyway, you absolutely have to let me know how it goes, alright? I’ll be waiting to hear everything.”

“Fine. I will.”

The conversation moved onto other things, and soon the tea party was over.

Adrien was surprised that his father had agreed to adding rollerskating lessons to his schedule, and even more surprised that he was allowing said lessons to be with his old classmate Alix Kubdel, sending Nathalie to book them immediately. The most surprising thing of all was him not even batting an eyelid when Adrien suggested that these lessons be one-on-one, without supervision from his bodyguard or Nathalie. Perhaps Gabriel knew what his son was up to, in which case at least he seemed to approve.

Still, Adrien felt somewhat nervous. After leaving school he hadn’t really talked to Alix much, only seeing her on the odd occasion when all the former classmates would meet up. In fact, he hadn’t spoken to her at all since Kim and Max’s wedding last year where she had been “best girl”. That felt like such a long time ago.

She was so intimidating, too. People had always said that she would grow out of her rough, tomboyish phase, but adulthood hadn’t changed a thing about her – in fact, people were probably more scared of her now than they had ever been back when she could still have been called a “kid”. At least she had always been nice to Adrien, getting along with him well enough to be able to call him a friend. That couldn’t be said about many of the other classmates.

The first rollerskating lesson was somewhat quiet. It took place on the courtyard in front of the Agreste mansion. Adrien didn’t really know what to say apart from the usual small talk that was expected of him, and he was concentrating too much on not falling over to do much else.

“I’ll admit, I have no idea how to teach anyone to do anything,” was the first thing Alix said to him that wasn’t just a simple greeting. She had never been very interested in small talk, anyway. “I have no idea why your dad asked me to do this.”

“Because I already know you,” Adrien said, wobbling around on the skates, starting to get the hang of it. “We’re friends. I mean, we were at school, I know we’ve been out of touch but–”

“Well we’re not out of touch now. So yeah, you’re my friend. I don’t have many of those left right around now.”

“Really? Why not?”

“Kim and Max moved away after they got married, Jalil studies abroad now, everyone at work’s scared of me and I don’t know anyone else. I’ve always been bad at making friends.”

She didn’t bother to hide the bitterness in her voice. Forgetting marriage entirely, Adrien was suddenly overcome with the urge to befriend her properly and end her loneliness. After all, he felt rather lonely a lot of the time too, now that his father kept him so busy and he hardly got to see his friends. It almost felt like he was back to being homeschooled again. He missed having company.

Holding out his hand for a handshake he asked, “We can be good friends, though, right?”

She smiled, whacking her hand against his in a sort of high five instead. “Yeah. That would be awesome.”

The rest of the lesson already felt more light-hearted, just the way things had been between them back at school all those years ago. She even looked much the same as she did back then – still the messy pink hair, still miles shorter than everyone else, still wearing the similar clothing she always did. It was somewhat nostalgic. He wondered if she felt the same way.

The second lesson was a few days later, and was a lot less subdued. Adrien was improving quickly and enjoying it too. Rollerskating was a lot of fun.

“You’re already getting good, you don’t even need my help,” Alix said, somewhat wistfully. “You could easily just carry on by yourself.”

“I’m not that good yet!” Adrien said quickly. “And… and even if I am, it would be more fun to go skating with you than by myself. You don’t have to teach me. You could just be here to hang out. I don’t get to see any of my friends much, so this is nice.”

She looked relieved. “Oh, okay then. Yeah, you’re right. It’s nice to get to hang out with you. You’re really cool.”

Adrien hoped he wasn’t blushing – that was a very sweet thing for her to say, and very unusual coming from someone as apathetic as her.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “You’re really cool too.”

“And you’re like, the kindest person I know. Do you think some of that could rub off on me? It might help my colleagues to not tremble with fear whenever they see me coming.”

“But you’re not scary!”

“See? This is what I mean when I say you’re the kindest person. You don’t see me the way other people do.” She gave him a friendly punch in the arm, though it was hard enough to send him rolling backwards a little. “Everyone else tiptoes around me like I’m some kind of monster. You actually treat me like a person.”

He tried to return the friendly punch, but it was so soft she probably couldn’t even feel it. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Yeah… listen, I know this is quick, but I’m upgrading you to best friend already. You’ve earned it. And I miss having best friends.”

Best friends? Adrien lost his balance for a second and almost tripped over. Alix grabbed his arm in time and lifted him back onto his feet, though that just made him feel even more unstable.

“Best friends sounds good,” he said. “We should hang out more often.”

“Yeah. We totally should.”

The third lesson could hardly even be considered a lesson. Now that Adrien could actually skate without help, it was more just an excuse for them to spend some time with each other, a nice break from Adrien’s busy schedule. They didn’t even skate that much – the weather was sunny and warm, so they sat on the ground with snacks, chatting.

“… and then it turned out that someone had managed to put a traffic cone on top of the statue’s head overnight, and we still have no idea who did it!”

Adrien laughed more than he probably should have. He never usually had much opportunity to laugh when his days were filled up with boring photo shoots and social events, where the only stories people would tell him about were all rather uninteresting. It seemed like Alix’s life was far more fun, or at least, she made it sound that way.

“How did you get the traffic cone down from there?” he asked, once he had finally stopped laughing enough to breathe.

“I climbed up myself and took it down,” she replied. “My dad was furious, but like… how else were we supposed to get it down? Hire a scaffolder or something? Nah, this was much quicker.”

“Your life sounds so interesting,” Adrien admitted. “You’ve got so many cool stories to tell.”

“Most of them are me getting into trouble though…”

“Can you tell me some more?”

“Don’t you have any stories to tell about your own life? Anything at all?”

Of course he did. Unfortunately, the only interesting things that ever happened to him were when he was Chat Noir, and he didn’t feel ready to reveal his secret identity just yet. Now that he was an adult and things were safer, he had been allowed to tell a few people – Marinette knew of course, and so did Alya and Nino. But the thought of telling anyone else was a bit too much.

He just shook his head and said, “No, my life is boring. The most fun I’ve had recently is these skating… lessons? They’re not really lessons, are they?”

“Skate dates,” Alix suggested.

“Y-yeah… skate dates.”

Dates. He had almost forgotten the reason he had wanted these “skate dates” in the first place, since he had just fallen straight into friendship with her. But now it came back to him, his conversation with Chloé about marriage, his father wanting him to wed someone rich as good publicity for the fashion company…

Maybe he wasn’t exactly in love with her yet. But hearing her suggest these as being “dates” just made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. And the feeling just got stronger when, just before she left, she gave him a surprisingly long hug.

The fourth skate date was much like the third one, but even more laid back. Sitting on the steps in front of the mansion, they discussed all the things they hadn’t managed to catch up on after leaving school. Adrien talked about supporting Nino’s career in directing movies, being a mod on the Ladyblog forums once things got too big for Alya to manage by herself, modelling clothes that Marinette made for him and persuading his father to take her on as an intern when she wasn’t busy studying…

It was nice talking to someone who would never judge what he said or expect anything of him. He didn’t have to pretend to be overly polite like with all his father’s clients – he could just say what he wanted without consequence. He had missed being able to do that, now that his other friends were all so busy and Plagg spent much of his time away or asleep.

In return he listened to Alix talking about her museum adventures. She really did seem to get into trouble a lot, something that hadn’t changed at all since school. In fact, she was such a troublemaker she admitted to keeping her pocket watch wrapped in bubble wrap most of the time so she wouldn’t accidentally break it whenever she did something stupid, like trying to climb up the side of the Louvre during akuma attacks (the only time when the security guards would be too busy to stop her).

He couldn’t help noticing her hand resting just beside his. What if he just… moved his hand over a bit… and…

But no, should he? At this point they did feel like close friends, even though it hadn’t been long, but what if that was too quick? No… of course it wasn’t, it was fine… Marinette and Alya used to hold hands all the time even before they started dating, didn’t they…?

Before he could think too hard about it, he gently, casually laid his hand over hers, fully expecting her to stop speaking and smack him or something. But instead she laced her fingers tightly through his and carried on talking without even missing a beat. She didn’t let go of his hand, not even when they finished their snack break and actually got back to skating.

Was that a friendship thing? Adrien wasn’t sure, but he was sure that he was blushing over it. A lot. And he knew he must be blushing even more when he noticed that at the end of the skate date, she hugged him just a little longer and tighter than she had last time. Even after she left, he simply stood there for 10 minutes, trying to get his brain to work again.

Did he only like her now because he had been trying to like her? Or did he actually have a crush on her? Did it even matter?

Meanwhile, on her way home, Alix got a phone call from her old friends Kim and Max.

“Oh hey guys, how’s life in wherever it is you live now?”

She heard Max in the background saying, “We live in Marseilles, we told you this,” at the same time that Kim screeched, “Who cares, I wanna know if you’ve managed to snag Adrien yet! Tell us everything! Tell us tell us tell us TELL US!”

“Oh my gosh, no need to be so loud about it!” She turned her phone volume down, holding it away from her ear slightly. “And it’s not that big a deal. Just chill out.”

“Oh come on, it so is a big deal!” Kim said. “I mean, isn’t your dad gonna cut you off if this doesn’t work out? I still can’t believe it.”

“Yeah, I don’t care if he cuts off my inheritance, it’s not like he ever gives Jalil any money either. The part I’m worried about is that he’s gonna take the watch back if I don’t get married soon. Something about family tradition. It’s stupid.”

“Yeah, no offence to your family, but that really is stupid.”

“Exactly. I don’t care about marriage and romance and… bleh. Stuff like that. But I would do anything to keep that watch, and that includes marrying someone who’ll be unfortunate enough to get stuck with me for the rest of their life.”

“For the record, I personally think being married is awesome. But that’s because I was lucky enough to marry Max, who is the best person in the universe after me. Hey Max, did you hear that? You’re the best!”

Alix rolled her eyes. “You two are so sappy, honestly. But anyway, I’m literally just on my way back from another skate date with Adrien, and–”

“DID YOU SAY DATE?!”

“Yes, date,” she said, holding the phone away from her ear again to avoid the worst of Kim’s loud voice. “And I know you want me to end up together with him, you suggested it so many times, you can stop making it obvious now.”

“So are you together with him yet?”

“Well I’m trying, okay? But you know what I’m like. It’s not easy for me.”

“Please tell me you haven’t beaten him up or something.”

“That’s not what I meant! I meant it’s not easy for me, because I don’t want to get married and I don’t care about stuff like that. Crushes, romance, who cares? Not me. So I’ve basically managed to accidentally become best friends with Adrien instead.”

“Oh, what? He’s not going to marry you like that, is he?”

“He might! Listen, at Marinette’s wedding I was talking to her parents and they said that once you’ve been married for long enough, the lovey-dovey feelings fade and it’s basically like deep friendship. So in my case I think I just always bypass the weird lovey-dovey stage and go straight to the friendship part.”

“But that’s like… normal friendship...”

“Shush! Do you want me to marry him or not?”

“Well yes, but–”

“Then let me do this my own way. I know I can’t fall for him the way people normally do, so I’m just doing the best I can. He’s awesome. And I can’t stand the idea of marrying someone, but… if I end up close enough with him, and if I trust him enough, then maybe I will be able to ask him. And maybe he’ll say yes. And maybe I’ll be okay with that.”

“You can do it!” Kim cheered. “Go woo the heck out of him! Buy him flowers and chocolates, that’s what I do for Max, also take him out to the cinema and when it’s the scary moments of the movie then you put your arm around him and hopefully he’ll rest his head on your shoulder, and–”

“Just shut up,” she laughed, though she did store away that advice for the future. “Anyway I’m nearly home now, I’ve gotta go. My dad won’t be happy if he catches me talking to you again – he still hasn’t really forgiven me for not just marrying you.”

“Even after that time we accidentally set that tree on fire?”

“Well he’s still mad about that too, but he approves of you really. Too bad for him that I just went and purposely set you up with Max instead.”

“And it’s so good that you did! Max is the coolest, most awesome, most sweet and adorable and cute and great person ever, and I love him so much, and–”

“Okay I really am actually going now, goodbye Kim.” She hung up before having to hear more of his cheesy gushing about his husband.

Anyway, maybe he was right. She would have to step up her game if she wanted Adrien to like her enough to agree to marry her. While it felt unfair to use him like that, marrying him just to be able to keep her watch, she had already ended up much better friends with him than she had expected. Spending time with him was so much fun. And there was something just so sweet and vulnerable about him, she felt like she just wanted to always be there with him. Protect him or something.

Perhaps the best thing to do would be to be honest with him when she eventually asked him to marry her. Just outright tell him that she was only doing this because she had to, not because she wanted to. And that she really did care about him, even if it wasn’t exactly the way she was supposed to feel about someone she was asking to marry. In fact, it was lucky that she had been asked to teach him how to rollerskate. She might not have even considered him otherwise, and might have ended up with someone she didn’t like nearly so much.

But then again, he still had to say yes. It hadn’t yet been nearly long enough to ask. She would have to have many more skate dates with him, maybe be more obvious, maybe even think of doing some of that stupid cheesy stuff Kim had suggested, and most importantly just spend a lot more time with him and get to know him better so that at least she’d end up with an amazingly close friend at the end of all of this even if it didn’t work out…

She found herself looking forward to it.

[themikeymonster]

went in to halfprice books today, remembered the terrible theory of not being able to tolerate books because of the awful cliches - --- --------- the boring main male characters and regrettable plots --- ----------------- which i also saw a lot of ----------- and quickly fell into despair --------------

i defaulted to horror, because even if your protagonists are awful, you just cheer the monster on :3c

saw a lot of John Saul??? I don’t know authors very well. If fanfic didn’t let me immediately access all of an authors works, then I’d be even worse at following someone’s entire anthology. anyway.....

Picked up one of his books, Creature. Im screeching, because I just checked and apparently this is a book from 1990? nice. The back is like “A powerful high-tech company. A postcard-pretty company town. Families. Children. Sunshine. Happiness. A highschool football team that never-ever-loses. And something else. Something horrible ....” What made me buy the book was where it switched to italics. “Now, there’s a new family in town. A shy, nature-loving teenager. A new hometown. A new set of bullies. Maybe the team’s sports clinic can help him. Rebuild him. Then they won’t hurt him again. They won’t dare.”

If John Saul ends up being a tolerable writer, I’ll have lots of material to read. I mean, the shelves were full of all kinds of books - apparently he’s pretty prolific.

I also picked up a couple of werewolf books, because I’m always a slut for werewolves, and I’ve been thinking a lot about my original story which riffs off the standard horror tropes involving werewolves (but seems like it’s actually going to feature a lot of social commentary ............ a favorite default of mine, it seems. :\ )

One is Wolf’s Trap, the back of which reads like a hilariously bad cop/noir novel. “Nick Lupo is a good cop - a bit of a renegade at times, with the instincts of a great detective .... or maybe a wolf. Lupo has a lot in common with wolves, which is only natural considering he’s a werewolf. He’s battled the creature inside him for years, but now there’s another predator in the area. A bloodthirsty serial killeris leaving  atrail of victims, and it’s up to Lupo to track him down and stop the slaughter. Will Lupo dare to unleash one beast to stop another?”

I’m going into that book with no expectations, because Lupo, are you serious? The cover art is also a bit ridiculous. This one is a bit harder to date, but apparently was a finalist for the Bram Stoker award in 2004.

The other book, I wasn’t initially certain was a werewolf book despite the title “Red Moon.” I found out when I cracked it open looking to avoid any first person pov, where someone is explicitly called a Lycan. This one reads, “When government agents kick down Claire Forrester’s front door and murder her parents, Claire realizes just how different she it. Patrick Gamble was nothing special until the day he got on a plane and hours later stepped off it, the only passenger left alive, a hero. Chase Williams has sworn to protect the people of the United States from the menace in their midst, but he is becoming the very thing he has promised to destroy. So far, the threat has been controlled by laws and violence and drugs. But the night of the red moon is coming, when an unrecognizable world will emerge ... and the battle for humanity will begin.”

It’s got a rather minimalist cover and seems to have been published in 2013, so it’s probably the most recent of the books I picked up. It seems to be a more classic type of book that I enjoy reading from time to time - like the way Michael Crichton writes. The kind where the characters take second position to the plot. I find that’s the easiest original content to consume for me, where as with fanfiction, I have to have character exploration and focus on relationship dynamics to remain engaged.

Then I somehow came across a legit zombie heroine. I actually didn’t read the title until I got it home: “The Year of Eating Dangerously”. The back of this one reads, “As a lawyer, Mallory Caine considers it her duty to defend the innocent. As a flesheating zombie, she knows how to take a bite out of crime. So when a scared ten-year-old boy asks for her help - claiming that his mother wants to eat him - Mallory rises to the occasion. Unfortunately, the occasion is a Satanic Ritual, the mom is a monster, and the boy is a sacrifice. Before you can say ‘the devil made me do it,’ Mallory is caught dead center between a family of freaks, fire-breathing demons, and the final battle of good versus evil. If she doesn’t have enough on her plate, the brain-chomping lawyer has to defend her zombie-hunting father in court. And, oh yeah: her flesh-eating secret is about to be exposed by a sexy LAPD detective who’s good enough to eat. What’s a zombie girl to do ...?”

IT’S JUST SO DELIGHTFUL??? I HOPE THE STORY IS AT LEAST AS GOOD AS THAT BLURB. I was pretty bored until I discovered that book. Horror is entertaining and all, but few things are as delightful as the completely absurd. I’m only dismayed to discover it’s not the first in the series - i really prefer to read series in order - but if it follows the usual format of book series of this genre, then I can probably deal with it. It’ll probably be one of the last ones I read, because I always save the delightful for last =w= This one came out in 2012.

and the book that I picked up that I’m most excited to read, “Heart Sick” which actually wasn’t in the horror section but next door in the Mystery/Thriller section. This one reads: “Portland Detective Archie Sheridan spent years tracking Gretchen Lowell, a beautiful and brutal serial killer. In the end, she was the one who caught him .... and tortured him ... and then let him go. Why did Gretchen spare Archie’s life and then turn herself in? This is the question that keeps him up all night - and the reason why he has visited Gretchen in prison every week since. Meanwhile, another series of Portland murders has Archie working on a brand-new task force ... and heading straight into the line of fire. The local news is covering the case 24/7, and it’s not long before Archie enters a deadly game of cat-and-mouse with the killer - and his former captor. But this time, it’s up to Archie to save himself ...”

I mean, aside from the fact that i’m always a slut for serial killers, EW LITERALLY DRAWS COMPARISONS TO HANNIBAL LECTOR ON THE COVER, IM CRYING!!!!! LIKE??? IS THIS NOT THE RED DRAGON??????? UM??? Only made extremely heterosexual lmaooooo

but it’s somewhat interesting for the man to be the victim, and also I was seduced by the bright red cover and crude heart shape and the title “heart sick”, I am predictable and weak. “Love hurts. Sometimes it’s torture.” COVER BLURB PLEASE, I ALREADY PICKED THE BOOK UP, IT IS PAID FOR.

It’s definitely taunting me lol

I mean, I’m 99.999999% sure already that whatever I’m dreaming up in my own head is better than this book, if only because I can cater to my own psychological quirks 100% and ahhh ahhh but i loVE some psychos in love ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤