#Tanqueray 10

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

THE TASTEFUL ART OF "THIRSTY THURSDAY" -- AS SLEEK AS THEY COME.

PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on Tanqueray No. Ten digital photography by Timothy Brisko, with color grading via Lightroom and Photoshop. Published November 2016.

Source: www.behance.net/gallery/45193047/Tanqueray-10.

[fortheloveofallthings]

Steddie Florist AU - Part 2

Part 1

Steve watched in a haze as Eddie stepped out the front door with his new dahlia. Of course this mystery man gravitated towards them, he thought to himself. They stick out in a crowd, are revered for their beauty, often symbolizing kindness and everyone that loves dahlias is obsessed with their moody aesthetic. Perfect for Eddie. Thankfully Robin wasn’t here today to poke fun at his now blossoming crush. He continued his usual tasks, happily letting thoughts of the bartender fill his mind. 4 hours, he can stop by the bar in 4 hours.

Eddie practically skipped the remaining block from the Flower Shop to the bar. Chrissy was already pulling down chairs from the tops of tables as he entered. “I finally walked in!” He announced. Her blonde ponytail whipped around as she placed another chair down. “You walked in? Like actually step foot inside?” she questioned, excitement woven into her tone. Eddie nodded as a smile stretched across his face. He held out the dahlia with Shakespearean flare knowing it would be proof enough. “He gave it to me on the house, so I offered him a drink tonight,” he smiled walking past Chrissy towards the rows of liquor behind the bar hoping to find something empty enough to use as a vase. It didn’t take long skimming through the shelves before he landed on a Tanqueray bottle he could rinse out. Chrissy made her way towards him to start prepping the garnishes, “A flower on the house?” “Yes, on the house.” Eddie reiterated. “I can’t believe the first time you actually step foot in there, the florist who you’ve been eyeing for months, flirts with you within what? 5… 10 minutes of you being there! And you arrive with a dahlia of all things,” Chrissy says in almost disbelief. Eddie had already rinsed the now completely empty bottle of gin and carefully unwrapped the flower from its tissue paper to place it in and out on the bar in full display, “So? It’s just a flower, he’s a florist, it’s a flower shop. He’s probably given loads of customers free flowers.”

The statement was as humbling as it was disheartening. Eddie wanted the flower to be a special moment between the florist and him. But romance was never company, not for any of the Munsons. Romance was a daydream. So the realist in him crushed any hopes of love before they could take root. No one had won the key to his gated heart. “Oh come on Eddie!” Chrissy scolded as she placed the lime knife down, “Dahlias represent long lasting bonds, love, devotion. Flowers have their own language and meanings. This man thinks you’re beautiful and I’ll bet he also has a crush on you.” Eddie was struck, dumbfounded, “What do you mean flowers have language? You can tell all that by a single flower?” “Yes, Eddie, I can. Lesbians know a lot about Victorian flower language. It’s a whole gay thing,” she explained. He humphed in curiosity, contemplating this new information, “Well don’t get my hopes up too high. I barely spoke to him and I can only pray to whoever’s out there he’ll even make an appearance later.”

Steve wrapped up his shift soon enough. Thankfully a customer’s custom bouquet order held his attention for the last 2 hours making the time fly by. He left the keys for Vickie to lock up as she arrived and he ran out the door. He sprinted back to his apartment, and opened the door to the small studio decorated with plants, paintings Robin made for him, and photos of him and his step-brother Dustin. Steve rushed through his shower so he could spend a decent amount of time on his outfit and hair before racing towards the Red Dragon. After much deliberation and a quick FaceTime with Dustin and his girlfriend Susie he settled on his light brown bomber jacket with the olive tinted elbow patches, a perfectly fitted off-white button up with a small leaf pattern, blue jeans and his slightly worn down converse. Susie suggested most of his clothes which was new territory for them but Dustin reassured him he looked like himself and not the straight-passing jock he typically would anywhere outside the shop. Steve smiled in the mirror as he did a final fit check, laughing at the accuracy in which Dustin described him then was out the door without any further hesitation.

Part 3

[brian-in-finance]

Caitríona Balfe attends the "Ford v Ferrari" press conference during the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival at TIFF Bell Lightbox on 10 September 2019 in Toronto, Canada.

Image: Roxstar Entertainment

Collider Media Studio Returns To TIFF With Some of the Biggest Names in Hollywood

With the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) just around the corner, we’re thrilled to announce that Collider Media Studio will be returning to the Toronto International for another round of exciting interviews with support from Range Rover Canada. This year we have one of our bigger line-ups ever with scheduled talks with the top talent of the festival including Bobby Carnavale, Tom Hiddleston, Karen Gilian, Cobie Smulders, Ben Foster, Olympic Gold Medal Boxer Claressa Shields, Chloë Sevigny, Henry Golding, Beatrice Grannò, David Gordon Green, Pamela Anderson, Max Minghella, Orlando Bloom, John Turturro, Caitríona Balfe, Soul Rasheed, Brett Goldstein, Imogen Poots, Jee Young Han, Dakota Johnson, Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley, Alicia Vikander, Elizabeth Olsen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Paul Rudd, Kate Mara, Jude Law, Nicholas Hoult, Tye Sheridan, Ron Howard, Ana De Armas, Isabella Rosellini, Ed Burns, Shamier Anderson, Minnie Driver, Brenda Song, Kiernan Shipka, Ryoo Seung-wan, Sandra Oh, Haley Joel Osment, and Gretchen Mol to name a few.

The program is produced by Leading Hollywood Events and Communications group, Roxstar Entertainment and their successful hospitality platform, the Cinema Center. Our sponsor partner Range Rover will help get the talent to our media studio with the 2024 Ranger Rover Sport, the official luxury vehicle partner of the Cinema Center and Collider Studio. Celebrities can enjoy the latest Range Rover Sport’s blend of sportiness, refinement, and connected convenience, ensuring they arrive at their red-carpet events in style and comfort.

Additional supporting sponsors include poppi soda, the better for you soda brand made with ingredients you love, like fruit juice and apple cider vinegar that create a mouthwatering soda with only 5 grams of sugar and 25 calories. Beloved by celebrities like Post Malone, Hailey Bieber, Kylie Jenner, Billie Eilish, Russell Westbrook, and Olivia Munn, poppi is revolutionizing soda for the next generation. poppi is now available at major retailers across Canada, including Loblaws, Real Canadian Superstore, Metro, Save on Foods, Maxi, Safeway, and Costco and key ecommerce retailers amazon.ca, instacart.ca and well.ca.

In addition, the Cinema Center will be serving up a themed cocktail menu featuring the ultra-premium Tequila Don Julio, as well as Ketel One Vodka, Tanqueray Gin, and Bulleit Bourbon. Don Julio’s luxury tequila is renowned for its use of only the highest caliber, fully matured and ripened Blue Agave that has been hand-selected from the rich, clay soils of the Los Altos region of the state of Jalisco.

Other partners include Canada’s new premium spring water brand, Legend Water co. and Peoples Group financial services will all be engaging our talent and guests with product offerings and special brand experiences onsite.

Check out the poster below and stay tuned to our socials for updates on this year’s Collider Media Studio at TIFF.

Collider

Caitríona Balfe attends the "Ford v Ferrari" press conference during the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival at TIFF Bell Lightbox on 10 September 2019 in Toronto, Canada.

Remember the return to TIFF?

[maamlet]

sorry to bother but if you’ve got a recipe… how do you make an earl grey martini 👀👀

so the real issue with makinf an earl grey martini is that you have to make earl grey infused gin. which isnt difficult but it takes a few hours and then you have a ton of earl grey gin. anyway that process is you put 1/4 cup of loose leaf earl grey tea into 750 ml of gin (i use tanqueray for this and so does rhe inventor of the cocktail so i recommend it) and let it steep for 2-8 hours at room temp, then strain through a coffee filter to get tha leafs out.

THEN:

1 1/2 ounces earl grey gin

3/4 ounce lemon juice

1 ounce simple syrup

1 egg white

garnish: sugar rim

garnish: lemon twist

rub some lemon on the rim of whatever glass you have (the recommendation is a coupe glass but i dont have one of those) and then get the sugar on that, then add the gin, lemon juice, syrup, and egg white to a cocktail shaker. shake vigorously Without Ice for 10-30 seconds. then add ice and shake until your hands hurt a little bit from the cold. strain into glass, garnish with lemon twist if yoh so desire.

its actually way closer to a gin sour than a martini. and ive done gin fizzes with earl grey gin too and those also rock

[acocktailmoment]

Freezer Martini !

Measurements to fill one, standard sized, 750ml bottle.

13.5 oz. Tanqueray 10 Gin (2.25 oz. for single serving)

4.5 oz. Dolin Dry Vermouth (0.75 oz.)

7.25 oz. filtered water (0.9 oz.)

Carefully add all ingredients to an empty 750ml bottle. Seal the bottle, and invert five to 10 times to ensure ingredients are fully mixed. Put the bottle in the freezer and wait several hours to fully chill. When ready to serve, pour three ounces into a chilled glass, and express the oils from a lemon peel over the top of it.

Photograph by Rick Barrett/Ambitious Studio.

This article was not sponsored or supported by a third-party. A Cocktail Moment is not affiliated with any individuals or companies depicted here.

[the-uncharted-cookbook]

As Above, So Below

Quod est superius est sicut quod inferius, et quod inferius est sicut quod est superius.

Alchemy was always about more than just turning lead into gold. It was a spiritual quest for cosmic understanding and ultimate truth, and with that knowledge would come power and immortality. John Dee, an alchemist, occultist, and advisor to Queen Elizabeth I, dedicated his life to this very pursuit. His cause persisted beyond his death, carried on by the Order, a Hermetic secret society created by the Queen and dedicated to uncovering the mysteries and powers of the occult.

Four hundred years later, the Order was led by Katherine Marlowe and her right-hand man Talbot, no last name given in true secret society manner. The two were on the hunt for the mythical city of Ubar, a place that former Order member Sir Francis Drake had lied about finding, fearing its power falling into the wrong hands. Both Marlowe and Talbot perished as Ubar was destroyed, Nathan Drake's luck striking again. In the end, I'd say those two got exactly what they deserved.

As Above, So Below is alchemy in a glass, a cocktail that literally transforms before your eyes. The drink begins as a golden elixir before butterfly pea flower tea is added. The deep blue butterfly pea flower tea immediately turns a vivid purple when it reaches the acidic lemon juice in the drink and the colors of the cocktail are split in two: purple above and gold below. With a stir, the two worlds combine and the final transformation occurs. Just like magic.

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW

Ingredients: 2.5 oz gin 0.75 oz lemon juice 1.5 oz. Earl Grey syrup 2 oz. club soda 0.75 oz. butterfly pea flower tea (very highly concentrated) To make the butterfly pea flower tea, bring 1 cup of water to a boil. Transfer to a cup and place 20-30 butterfly pea flowers in the water and let steep for at least 10 minutes. Strain out the butterfly pea flowers and dry them for later use as a garnish. Let the tea cool before bottling. To make As Above, So Below, first pour the club soda into a Zombie or chimney glass. Combine the gin, lemon juice, and Earl Grey syrup with pebble ice in a cocktail shaker. Shake and dump directly into the glass. Top the glass with more ice, packed tightly, and then float the butterfly pea flower tea on top. Slowly stir to watch the magic happen, and then garnish with dried butterfly pea flowers.

Much like rum, each gin is going to have its own distinct flavor. All gins contain juniper but what other botanicals are used and to what degree is going to vary wildly from gin to gin. To represent the Order's English roots, I used a London Dry gin, specifically Bombay Sapphire. Tanqueray and Beefeater gins also fall into this category. If you want to lean more into a citrusy flavor, Plymouth is a great choice as well.

The recipe for Earl Grey syrup can be found here.

[ratiosalaryman]

Maha’s Best Nanami Gimlet Recipe

Uh, the mun for this blog has been a bartender for a few years and ran across the ‘Gimlit’ being Nanami’s choice of drink in the JJK Volume 1 light novel. This is one of my favorite favorite drinks of all time. So I’d thought I’d share.

I’ll try to adjust for making this at home.

Flavor of the Gimlet: Herbaceous and sweet. A summer drink.

Gimlet

Basil Gimlet serves 2

What you’ll need:

2x Fresh limes* (the juice at the store is hella bitter. If you use this, add some sugar to the mixture)

8-10x Thai basil leaves (the best basil)

Simple syrup (I do a 1:1 ratio. So 1 cup of water to 1 cup of sugar. Bring to boil in a pan. Simmer for at least 10 minutes. I like my syrup thiccc so uh I do like 20+ minutes. Keep extra refrigerated in a jar for later. If it gets cloudy— it’s gone bad).

Gin (I prefer in the order of best pick to okay pick: Tanqueray Rangpur, Tanqueray No. Ten, Tanqueray London Gin. I’ve tried it with everything from Bombay Sapphire to Hendrick’s and it just isn’t as good).

A martini glass.

Ice and cocktail shaker

In Cocktail Shaker:

Muddle* juice of 2 limes (4 oz. or so) with the Thai basil leaves.

Add 2 oz. simple syrup

Add 4 oz. Gin

Fill w/ice, shake 60 seconds. Strain into martini glass, slap a leaf of basil in your hand to release the aroma and lay it on the side of the glass. Kanpai!

Foot Notes:

*Can actually substitute the Thai leaves for cucumber slices. It’s hella. *Muddling is a method of lightly mashing fruit, herbs, and spices for cocktails. A cocktail muddler is a tool like a pestle (you can use really anything to crush the leaves and lime juice. I’ve used the handle of a cheese knife before) that releases the essence from fresh ingredients, adding dimension to your drinks and infusing them with the right balance of flavors.

[nice-bright-colors]

Adult version of the “Purple Stuff”. Empress 1908 Indigo Gin. They ain’t lying, it’s really purple and has white grapefruits thrown into the mix. Take that Tanqueray No. 10.

[cottagecori]

🎶 when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your followers (positivity is cool) 🎶

MWAH !! Thank you cy, my love !!

Tummy Hurts // Reneé Rapp

Bobby Tanqueray // Lake Street Dive

For Emma // Bon Iver

Boyish // Japanese Breakfast

Send Me Some Lovin' // Otis Redding

[malcolm-reeds-pineapple]

Thanks for the tag @frostysfrenzy !! Sorry it took me a bit I been goin' thru it :,)

Are you named after anyone? Yeah Kathryn Janeway bc my parents love Star Trek

Last time you cried? Earlier in the day lmao I'm goin' thru it

Do you have kids? God no I am a 23 year old teenage girl

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Uhhh sometimes idk time and place I guess

First thing you notice about people? Usually if they're going to be a pain in the ass or not. I've been in customer service for almost 10 years so you get a spidey sense for that

Eye colour? Mine? Blue. Favourite? Brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings I guess?

Special talents? I make balloon animals at most town events that are too cheap to pay for my dad (I cost 20/hr he costs 300 to leave the house)

Where were you born? Same place as the trailer park boys

Hobbies? Writing and making greeting cards with my nan :^)

Any pets? I have one cat, my real human daughter and her name is spooky but she goes by Spoobert Doobert in professional circumstances.

What sports do you play/have you played? Oh god like a lot of them. Soccer, Hockey, Football, Roller Derby and Rugby. I ended up needing to hang up sports for real bc of too many brain injuries but these days I still like hiking (nice and low impact with opportunities to see waterfalls)

How tall are you? 5'11

Favourite school subject? None from high school but philosophy when I got to university

Dream job? Retired.

First ship? ZuTarra

Three ships? I'm not a huge shipper honestly

Last (current) song? Nuttville by Buddy Rich (nice beginner-friendly fusion jazz)

Last movie? I watched the entirety of Devil Wears Prada in like 80 parts on TikTok the other night if that counts

Currently reading? Still working on The Rum Diary by HST (got distracted by re-reading my WIP (why can't books write themselves))

Currently watching? Pretty much just Jeopardy at this point lmao (I'm too tired to watch TV when I get home from work)

Currently consuming? Nicotine still :(

Currently craving? A double gin and tonic made with Tanqueray

Tagging: @girlscience @angrywarrior69 @mcusluttt and like anyone who wants to do it

[ewoodxx]

↳ i got that can’t stop, won’t stop in my veins

i. phenomenal - eminem // ii. headlines- drake // iii. heart of a champion- nelly // iv. remember the name - font minor // v. a cut above - avery watts // vi. mirror - lil wayne // vii. vices - ludacris // viii. right above it - lil wayne // ix. live forever - liam payne, cheat codes // x. take me back to london - ed sheeran, stormzy, aitch // xi. home -bebe rexha, mgk, and x ambassadors // xii.  wavin’ flag (coca-cola celebration mix) - k’naan // xiii. come on england -442 // xiv. you’re welcome- dwayne johnson // xv. hard - rihanna, jeezy // xvi. all i do is win - dj khalid xvii. fight back -NEFFEX [LISTEN]

           that’s why they can’t stop, won’t stop screaming the name↵

beware: my unnecessary commentary below xD

i. phenomenal - eminem however long that it takes, I'll go to whatever lengths, It's gonna make me a monster though

this song represents the lengths ethan is willing to go to turn his career around not to mention the fact he does actually think he's phenomenal. i'm also a giant sucker for some monster vs man parallels and him grappling with what makes a good man. and finally, this song is numero uno on his before match pump-up playlist.

ii. headlines- drake I might be too strung out on compliments, overdosed on confidence, started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequence

this song represents ethan currently. he thought he was untouchable and was finally going to realize his dreams, but he let his temper and his fame get the better of him and now he must dodge the headlines and rehab his image in small town USA.

iii. heart of a champion- nelly I got that can't stop, won't stop, in my veins that's why they can't stop, won't stop, screaming the name

this one emphasizes the heart of a champion and the hard work it took for ethan to become a successful athlete. i also like the whole heart comparison because i like to think that ethan has a good heart beneath the muscles and 99% of the time he means well (even if his methods are unconventional). this is also on his personal locker room playlist.

iv. remember the name - font minor this is 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% percent pain, and a 100% reason to remember the name

ethan was born into a soccer royalty (think beckham level). his surname is both a blessing and curse and ethan wants nothing more than for people to remember his name apart from his family and to prove himself worthy of it.

v. a cut above - avery watts what it looks like (looks like) being the best what it looks like, to be a cut above the rest

for no other reason than the fact that ethan really is that good on the pitch, like ronaldo level skills. but ofc being "a cut above the rest" isn't always enough and also does come with responsibilities off the pitch that he's still working on.

vi. mirror - lil wayne lookin' at me now I can see my past, damn I look just like my fuckin' dad

this one goes out daddy dearest, someone ethan always used to look up to until he practically disowned him for messing up at the world cup. they no longer talk, reminding ethan that he needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror and pave his own way.

vii. vices - ludacris from philly to the bay, the only loyal b*tch I know is a loyal b*tch named tanqueray she gets me right everytime it ain't never no fussing or fighting

obvi ethan has his vices. he likes to go out, party, drink, hook-up, but never commit. therefore his longest and most loyal relationship is with a pretty little bottle of tanqueray. whoops.

viii. right above it - lil wayne & drake life is a beach, i'm just playing in the sand

a nod to life before the world cup. he was living a lavish lifestyle with parties, money etc. and enjoying his success a little too much until it all came crashing down. i just imagine this being the song in the background to a partying montage lmao. ps it was so hard to just pick one line to highlight, and this is totally on his personal playlist too.

ix. live forever - liam payne, cheat codes reckless, restless I let it get so hectic all the way up with my head in the sky, too much, too gone, too many, too fun I don't know how but I got out alive

fun fact: ethan's first fc like ten years ago was liam payne, so this one is selfishly for me since i just had to throw him in here somewhere. BUT this is another nod to him losing sight of the bigger picture and getting too reckless. it also touches on everything changing when meeting someone special who can make you want to let go of your old ways which is something i truly want for ethan.

x. take me back to london - ed sheeran, stormzy, aitch I hit my friends up, go straight to the pub 'cause I haven't been home in time..so take me back to london

despite losing the world cup for england, ethan still loves everything about his being an englishmen and his home town. he just honestly just wants to go home, get back on the pitch, and grab a print with his buddies. he won't admit it, but he misses how things were before cape may.

xi. home -bebe rexha, mgk, and x ambassadors Now tell me, how did all my dreams turn to nightmares? How did I lose it when I was right there?

ethan felt like he was on top of the world and then it came crashing down. suddenly nothing makes sense anymore, and everything he's ever known isn’t quite right.

xii.  wavin’ flag (coca-cola celebration mix) - k’naan see the champions take the field now you define us, make us feel proud

S/O to the little kid that ethan lost sight of, the kid with big dreams of scoring in the world cup just to make his dad and country proud. i like to think this is a song that reminds ethan of watching his dad play in the world cup and knowing that one day he'd be out there, too.

 xiii. come on england -442 one-nil, two-nil, three-nil, four-nil, FIVE! keep this country's dream alive

a song/chant dedicated to all of ethan's hero's growing up, one's he's probably met and even played with at some point now. ngl he's probably been remixed into a song like this too so also a nod to that. plus, this one SCREAMS country pride.

xiv. you’re welcome- dwayne THE ROCK johnson i know it's a lot the hair, the bod when you're staring at a demi-god

I chose this song not only because ethan is full of himself like maui BUT because this grown ass man absolutely loves the movie moana and has no problem belting it at the top of lungs. I like to think it’s gotten to the point where it’s been remixed into one of his footy chants whenever he scores a goal.  Half the crowd : What can Wood say except…  The other half: You’re welcome! All together now: YOU’RE WELCOME! YOU’RE WELCOME! YOU’RE WELCOME! 

xv. hard - rihanna, jeezy They can say whatever, I'ma do whatever no pain is forever, yup, you know this

to me, this song has a message of strength and perseverance especially when it comes to gossip and the media which is something ethan struggles with. also, ethan's ultimate celeb crush is 100% rihanna. like he had a poster of her on his wall growing up and everything.

xvi. all i do is win - dj khalid all I do is win win win no matter what, got money on my mind I can never get enough

this song is dedicated to ethan's brothers. at one point before they stopped being so close, they deemed this their song. they had this silly little dream of being on same team together and just dominating the competition, but ofc life happens and this dream was never realized but the song still makes ethan think of his bros.

xvii. fight back -NEFFEX don't tell me you believe that, are you just gonna take that? or will you fucking fight back?

this is the song i imagine plays in the background whenever ethan gives into his temper, doubts himself (yes, it does happen on the rare occasion lol), fights, and gets real angry. it's also not lost on me that this is the last song on the playlist and "phenomenal" is the the first song because i just adore the juxtaposition of the two songs. his confidence vs that little voice in his head that tells him that maybe, just maybe (if you squint and tilt your head the side) he's not good enough.

k im done. god bless if you read all that <3 if anything this makes for a pretty fab workout/ pump-up playlist imo.

[tari-makes-drinks]

say you can only keep one: moscow mule, foghorn, dark and stormy

which one stays?

OK, so for clarification.

Moscow mule:vodka, ginger beer, lime. Served in a mule mug.

Foghorn: gin, ginger beer, (lime). Served in an Old Fashioned glass

Dark & Stormy: rum, ginger beer, (lime). Highball glass.

Definitely killing the foghorn. Granted, I'm using Tanqueray #10 and not Old Tom, so it's probably not as sweet as it could be. I think the herbal flavor of the gin combines badly with the earthy character of the ginger beer.

Honestly I'm keeping the Dark and Stormy. Although the Moscow mule is fantastic (and l often have a ginger beer and lime during work), the rum adds a wonderful character to the ginger beer that I really Ike. TBH I've always been a little sad to put (nice) vodka in drinks--it's quick to take a back seat to things you mix it with, which seems a waste with high quality vodkas.

[rickchung]

Prophecy Bar x Rosewood Hotel Georgia x Downtown.

"Northern Lights": Tanqueray No. 10 gin, Labrador tea, grapefruit oils, elderflower, lemon, and B2.

[count-demonlord-of-decadence]

Fortress Decadence

“Welcome to Inqaba Ukuwohloka.” said a man and woman in Elizabethan era butler outfits as you entered the lavish mansion designed by Kazuyo Sejima as a love song to Giyōfū architecture, the mansion was completed on August 10, 2019. The main entrance hall is a beehive of social activity with people in and out of dress, in and out of costume mingling, flirting and otherwise interacting. Several celebrities are within your sight, Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy introduces herself to you, as do Jamie Marchi, Vince McMahon, Jacinda Ardern, Jeffrey A. Rosen, Rose Montoya and Jay-Z. Ellen DeGeneres, Jake Busey, Meghan Markle, Anita Sarkeesian, Keanu Reeves, Megan Thee Stallion, Prince William, Greta Gerwig and Tucker Carlson do not. The further in you go the more casual the attire becomes as does the atmosphere. You bump fists with Joe Rogan, Tom Kenny, Joseph Buttafuoco and Cynthia Erivo. A very drunk Kim Tok Hun bumps into while putting his tie on his head, prompting you to bump into Samia Suluhu Hassan who introduces herself but doesn't recognize you and quickly walks away. A crying Dak Prescott dashes past you, a midget dressed as He-man offers you a cup of applesauce and Ke$ha, looking like Amélie, sprays you with Obsession for men. A tray of Angels on horseback is presented to you just before a man who looks a lot like Claudio Castagnoli wearing a lot of makeup kisses you on both cheeks and is off into the crowd before you can react. A person that can only be described as Tipper Gore cosplaying as Pizzazz, the main vocalist, rhythm guitarist and leader of the fictional rock band The Misfits, apologizes and hands you a pink bellini, which is taken away by someone in a black and white Korean girl’s high school uniform with a gray horse head mask on who directs you to the bar upstairs while dodging a plate of Tokwa’t baboy being offered to you. A dashing Frenchman in an all shark skin gray three piece suit helps you avoid a glass of champagne spilt by Mahdi al-Mashat, only to be separated from him by Elon Musk laughing hysterically. A man clearly older than your father, wearing nothing but a reddish pink feather boa and a matching bandana in his gorgeous hair, gently pinches your bottom and scampers off before you can protest, he is caught and beaten by the crowd, which he rather enjoyed. A tray of Bakwan is offered to you but knocked over as a brawl erupts between rather large men dressed in ill fitting tuxedos yelling at each other in Greek. Katerina Sakellaropoulou said they were fighting over her, while wearing an all too revealing desert brown dress. She takes two of the Rumaki on a tray being offered to you when you are intimately greeted by Mosch. No age, no race, no gender, no labels, no touching; just Mosch. The Dalton Castle entrance attire, bronze tan, make up, flamboyant gesticulations and platinum blonde 1980’s rock god hair gave away nothing. 

Mosch takes you to an elevator with six other people in it. One was a priest who looked exactly like the American Gothic painting. One was actor Billy Campbell, trying not to get noticed. Three are dressed as businessmen who are snickering whilst playing a game of who can release the worst fart. The last is a Palestinian man enjoying the farts. Only you and Mosch exit to the second floor, which is more of a nightclub setting which Mosch laments, then has a mood swing after spotting a young lad in tight Lederhosen and drags you to the bar. He orders, “A Zima for my friend and a martini for me. Three measures of Tanqueray Rangpur, one of Ciroc, half a measure of La Quintinye Extra Dry Vermouth. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add three speared pimento stuffed olives. Got it?”

After correcting your drink order, Dillon Francis’ “I.D.G.A.F.O.S.” came on much to Mosche’s excitement and you two dance, never once touching. By the song’s end your drinks are served by a woman in a violet niqāb. Mosche hands you yours after looking at it with dismay, Mosche tips her a fifty dollar bill and you can't help but notice Mosche has no pockets and carries no purse as you're led to an elevator where a man, woman and a nonbinary person were all over each other. Kissing, licking, groping, feeling, biting, wanting. Two of the three invite you to join them but Mosche declines on your behalf while taking in their sight, sounds, aroma and aura.

The third floor is a hookah bar and smoke lounge with terrible tiki lounge decor and a terrific live band. Mosche walks the room, takes a random hit from a hookah, introduces you to Kevin Spacey, takes another random hit, is waved off by Seth Rogan, briefly makes out with a waitress and you're back in the elevator before finishing your drink. You ride with a woman who looks like Megan Merkel trying hard not to get noticed. The Gull Terrier sniffing up her skirt made it impossible. Mosche informs you out of respect the two of you are going to exit at the next floor.

The music of Phinehas 12 decibels too loud, as the doors open to reveal a bondage dungeon.  Nothing but leather and steel visible between the bodies. While dragging you to the bar, Mosche stops to introduce you to Joe Biden, who is wearing only a diaper and being walked on a leash by Mistress Rouz. Rouz is 30 years old, 1.77 meters tall and weighs 73 kg. She was born, raised and usually resides in Port Louis, Mauritius. She speaks with a heavy Mauritian Creole accent as she exchanges pleasantries with you and Mosch. She wears a black leotard with far too many accessories to be considered tasteful. She is accompanied by Zelmire, a 14 year old Austrian girl with charming features and curly hair. She is dressed as a bunny girl. Mosche asks Joe where their Lord is but Biden responds but he only barks, as Rouz had commanded. Rouz then says, “But if I were looking for anyone, I’d check the observation lounge.” Mosche thanks her and drags you to the bar where you’re served by a Papuan lad clearly too young to be serving drinks. Mosche orders a dirty version of the drink from before and a light beer for you. Mosche vows not to linger but is distracted by Taylor Swift riding Robert Kraft side saddle, allowing you to correct your drink order and catch a breath. What can only be described as a young Arsenio Hall with stunning golden brown Farrah Fawcett hair, wearing a red leather dominatrix outfit and far too much makeup, stands next to you and says, “I hope you don't mind me coming over, but I've been watching you all evening.” They pause to suggestively eat a speared cherry from their Mojito, “And I want to tear you apart. Your friend as well.” 

Before they could move in for the kiss, Mosche pulls you hastily to the elevator where two midgets dressed as cupids are smoking massive cigars, and verbally degrading a red headed obese woman who is loudly masturbating with a Bratz doll.

“The next floor is the S & M suite.” Mosche laments, “I’ve no need to go in, do you? Well we can always come back. I can say the same thing about the Sanguine Suite above us. Let us move on to the school. That’s where our Lord and Master awaits.” 

The elevator ride was a bit cramped with Polish strong man Andrzej Zieleniecki and a constantly performing mime joined the five of you in the elevator. The doors open to reveal a hallway filled with lockers and classrooms. All the other occupants exit and a rubenesque Samoan woman in a black and yellow Korean high school uniform beckons the two of you to the first classroom on the right. Her black hair is worn in curled pigtails and side-swept bangs. She smells like ripe cloudberries. Through the window you see what appears to be Bill Cosby giving a lecture about jazz to a class of teenagers. She takes you to the classroom diagonal to the first where R. Kelly is teaching an all girls choir to sing. Moving diagonally again, the next room reveals Kevin Spacey reading to an all boys class. He was wearing nothing but a velour silk robe that clearly wasn't tied. Mosche introduces her, “This is Sophia Wind. She's mute but not deaf. She gets off on showing people things.” Sophia bows and Mosche asks her, “We're looking for our Lord and master, have you seen him?” Mosche doesn't understand her sign language but you correctly guess the library based on her gestures. Mosche is impressed by your cleverness and escorts you back to the elevator where a guy who looks like Skipp Sudduth cosplaying as Jalen Hurts was trying to persuade a cheerleader who favored Madison Curry to give him a blow job. You ride the elevator down back to the smoke lounge so you can use the bathroom purposely designed and decorated with a cold, mechanical feel. Like the kind one would expect to find on a WWI battleship. When you’re finished, Mosche is waiting with drinks. Your’s appears to be what your previous drink was, garnished with an added speared cherry, olive and lime wedge. 

Mosche escorts you to the elevator where four guys who resemble Beavis, Butthead and their fathers are standing in the now smoke-filled elevator giggling at each other

You feel a touch light headed as the doors open and the four morons rush out saying, “We’re gonna tip over a cow,”

You’ve entered a stable with the obvious hay, smells and noises, some of which were clearly human. Mosche simply mutters, “Oh no, the dierentuin. We don’t want to be here.” and takes one step before a high pitched voice squeals, “Mosche! Thank God you’re here! I need your help to settle something.”

The voice belongs to a blonde woman with big blue eyes and a model’s figure dressed in an all too sexy cowgirl outfit. The kind only a stripper would wear. 

“Please Judy, I'm working.” Mosche laments, gesturing at you.

“What? Oh Hi! I’m Judy Punch, nice to meet you.” She squeaks at you and shakes your hand. Before you can respond she’s back to Mosche, “So I have a problem and you’re the first person I thought of.”

“But Judy, I’m busy.”

“But, you’re already here.”

Mosche dramatically laments before pulling you along while being dragged by Judy. She leads you past three sheep, two horses, two cows and a man fucking a goat while she explains the problem.

“So Viktor and Arse Splitter were arguing about who had the largest dick. I offered to measure for them but I couldn't make Arse Splitter hard.”

“Of course my dear, you're much too old and the wrong gender for that.”

“And now they're trying to fight.” Judy lamented with her squeaky voice.

Viktor, no surname, hails from South Sudan and is very tall at 224 cm. He possesses a hulking, muscular build at 130 kg. His hands are massive enough to close around the entire head of many of his opponents. He is bald and wearing nothing but tape around his hands and feet to protect his knuckles and shins. The man known only as Arse Splitter is 28 years old and hails from Sheffield, England. He has the look of a satyr. He wore a short sleeveless tunic that revealed his genitals.

“I think I understand Judy.” Mosche giggled and took the tape measure before handing you an empty glass. Mosche then whispered sweet nothings into Arse Splitter’s ear all the while making sure not to touch him. And it worked, after 222 seconds he was fully aroused, displaying a penis that is bent saber fashion, it’s head, or glans, is enormous, it is 21 cm in circumference and the shaft 20 cm length. A fine curve to this majestic prick. Viktor’s measured three cm longer but four less in circumference. Judy tips you both twenty dollars after thanking you at a pitch no one would find pleasant. Mosche mutters, “Stupid bitch tipping me like I'm part of the help, what's wrong with her. I hope she gets pregnant and fat.” Mosche concealed the twenty despite having no pockets and escorts you back to the elevator where the red headed obese woman is loudly masturbating while an effeminate anorexic man verbally degrades her. He looks at the two of you and says, “She's not the one who should skip dessert.” And the look Mosche shoots him would've backed down Mike Tyson. He exits as soon as the doors are open wide enough and enters Barack Obama, a young Caucasian man and an older black woman. Mosche introduced you to Lady Eloise Gripenasty, 68 years old and wearing a gold and black Chong sim that revealed her lack of underwear. Christof Select, the youngest capo in the syndicate, wearing a white Armani tuxedo. And the former president is wearing a tuxedo by Versace. Christof is going on about how he can't get a giraffe here on the ride down to the dierentuin, so you don't have an opportunity to chat with Obama before they exit. The elevator stops at the lobby and four elderly white business men enter having a loud discussion about the stocks of aerospace companies and defense contractors. They exit at the club, Mosche calls them perverts and enters a 183 cm tall female bodybuilder from Romania making out with a Mexican boy who was 152 cm tall on his toes and weighed 50 kg at max. Mosche is intrigued and participates as only Mosche can, taking in the sights, smells, sounds and aura, but never touching. The couple exits and Mosche exclaims, “Oh, I’d forgotten about the preschool prostitute ring, shall we indulge? Oh, but I need to introduce you to our Lord and Savior, one more floor up.”

The next floor is the observation lounge which has monitors everywhere displaying the other floors from multiple angles. Everyone who exits is wearing a gray trench coat and matching fedora. Mosche introduces you to TJ Whittenhouse, a man who looks and dresses like a cliched ISTJ. Mosche has him confirm Lionel Virtanen is indeed in the library before heading there. When the elevator arrives a skinny white twink is getting quadruple penetrated by four big buff sweaty black guys vigorously, while they shout every epithet and slur possible. You silently agree when Mosche suggests waiting for the next one, which arrives 100 seconds later with a fresh batch of voyeurs looking to not be noticed. The two of you enter along with a dead ringer for Timothée Chalamet dressed as Raggedy Andy, a 222 kg French chef, the constantly performing mime and Honey Boo-boo. The elevator stops at the S&M suite where the chef exits and three softball players in full West Texas A&M uniforms enter, gossiping about who could fit a bat up their cunt like the whore they did it to. They and Timothée Chalamet exit at what looks and sounds like a gymnasium and a Pakistani couple enters, arguing loudly. This doesn't deter the mime one bit and in fact he incorporates them into the act, which causes them to yell at him and each other. The couple exits at the dierentuin and enters Crown, you know because Mosche gasped his name. Crown is 200 cm tall and a muscular 147 kg. He has long black hair spilling out of his purple and black lion mask and light brown skin. He’s wearing a light blue cowboy jacket with a dark blue poncho, white pants, a black belt, brownish gray shoes and white fingerless gloves. His presence is so commanding it was easy to miss the three other people who entered with him. An Armenian woman in a cute pink Loza Maléombho dress, a Libyan man in a Thebe Magugu tuxedo and a small man in a green screen suit who were clearly intimidated. The mime on the other hand tries to get Crown into his act, to which he respnds, “Déjame en paz antes de que te rompa.” The mime expresses a lack of understanding but continues the act, seeking an explanation from the other passengers. Crown then says, “¡Fuiste advertido pendejo!” and hits the mime with an uppercut that bounces his head off the doors just before they open revealing the Sanguine Suite and its cliche vampire decor. Crown then body slams the mime, mounts him and punches him in the face four times before transitioning to an armbar. The mime’s scream is drowned out by the sound of his ulna breaking then the doors closed. Clearly frazzled, Mosche drags you out of the elevator and into the triage ward, one of the few areas without a full service bar. Mosche is on the verge of a panic attack when a voluptuous woman in a black dress that showed a lot of leg approached. Her steel blue eyes meet yours, she gives you a wink and a smile, then a whorl of curly black hair as she approaches Mosche. And like that, you know everything is going to be alright. 

“You’re looking a little ragged right now.” She says in a deep, breathy voice, “Anything I can do to help?” 

“Oh Raven!” Mosche laments and hugs her, which shows clear indifference to. “Oh Raven,” Mosche pauses to sob, “I’m just trying to take this one to meet Lionel Virtanen for the first time.”

She pulls a cigarette and a lighter from god knows where and lights it, prompting one of the orderlies to shout, “No smoking in here!” 

“Relax sugar, we were just leaving.” 

She leads you to the elevator, followed by a man 1.2 meters tall and dressed like an accountant from the 1920s. He was trying desperately to get her attention. 

“You know what they say Mosche: The harder the journey, the better the destination.”

The elevator doors opened and four orderlies moved a gurney out. On it, you couldn’t help what appeared to be a mime with a face of pureed beef on it, followed by a skipping Anita Sarkeesian. The green screen suit guy was break dancing to DeBarge was inside as was 

Jacinda Ardern, who no one recognized. The three of you, Sendhil Ramamurthy in blood stained scrubs and WNBA star Brittney Griner with a heavily taped left knee enter the elevator. The accountant tries to dash in as the doors close but Raven kicks him in the chin to stop him.

The elevator doors open to a lobby decorated to look like the street front of a discreet Jakarta bar with a half moon rising. There were three people standing outside chatting; Vince McMahon, former president Donald Trump and Kim Belair. Inside is a very classy and impressie decor guarded by two men so large Mosche verbally assumes they were bred for security. But they look at Raven and say, “Welcome back boss.”  then eye the rest of you menacingly. Raven turns around with her hands on her ample hips and says, “Mosche and guest. And…”  You turn around to see the options only to see everyone followed you out of the elevator and joined the trio standing outside, but they were joined by a cowboy, a female construction worker, a biker, a female GI, a Tsuutʼina Nation chief, a Chinese admiral, a female British cop, three non-discript straight white men and what appeared to be a Syrian gigolo; all wanting the same thing, admittance. “...Jacinda Ardern.” Raven pauses to laugh in a manner uncharacteristic of her look and voice and adds, “And the green man.” There is audible disappointment from those not admitted as they return to whence they came.

“Welcome to the VIP lounge.” Raven breathes as the green man clears the metal detector. In the first booth was a man in a gold lion mask surrounded by a harem of girls far too young to be in such an establishment. They were eating from a cuminall five gallon bucket of neapolitan ice cream. The second was a man in a black bull mask surrounded by a harem of boys far too young to be in such an establishment. They were wrestling for his amusement. A woman in a taxidermy deer mask was choking and cursing at a server in Chinese accented English. The next booth had a man in a yellow panther mask and a man in a polar bear mask smoking massive cigars and casually chatting until they saw you looking at them. You look away but they continue to stare until you’re out of sight. A woman in a gold eagle mask is in the next booth beating a dark skinned man wearing only a loincloth with her fan. Her profanities flow from English to French and back again. The next booth is empty and Raven invites you all to sit as a classical jazz version of What’s Goin’ On plays. Raven takes everyone’s order and is the only one not shocked when the green man speaks in a deep voice with a heavy Welsh accent when ordering a pint of Newcastle. Raven is only gone for 90 seconds before the man in the polar bear mask approaches the table. He is wearing a shiny purple sequined sports coat with a black button up shirt, black slacks with violet pinstripes and the 1994 Nobel Economics prize on a gold chain around his neck. He says, “What kind of rabble are they letting into the VIP lounge these days?” like he’s impersonating Jack Nicholson.

“I know, right?” Mosche laments with a limp wristed dismissal. The man folds his arms, poorly pretending not to be agitated and says, “Seriously, I want to know who you people are and what gives you the right to be in my presence?”

“Who the fuck is this cunt?” Jacinda Ardern asked. The man attempted to strike her but the blow was intercepted by the shin of Baek Hae-Ryeong the rising star in the Taekwondo world. Mosche recognized him and remarked how handsome he was. You notice he’s wearing a loincloth and remember seeing him on the way in. The man in the yellow panther mask was trying to console the man in the polar bear mask who clutches his arm like it’s broken.

“Gāolí bàngzi!” he hisses, “Do you know who I am, how much money and power I have?” he doesn't pause as Raven returns with the drinks and a wink that tells you to let the man finish. 

“Of course you don’t and I like it like that! I have enough money and influence over this world to keep my name out the mouths of you people who jumped a border to sell drugs, hijack planes and not speak English as they’re getting railed up the ass by some twink in a turban that jumped another border to escape the Jihad or their corrupt government or some sort of ethnic cleansing or cartels or whatever abomination the Cafri want to infect the rest of the civilized world with!” 

A blonde middle aged woman in a gray pants suit that showcased her flat ass, with a white blouse that showcased her flat chest silently stepped from behind the ranting man and asked Mosche, “Mr. Virtanen was expecting 20 minutes ago, what is the delay?” 

“This man here said he was more important than anybody else and insisted he had to listen to him.” Mosche blurted out.

“Is this true?” she asks, ignoring her tablet for the first time.

“Yes Ms. Prentiss.” Raven replied. Prentlss looks at the rest of the table and all you can do is nod along with them. Prentiss then turns to the masked man, who only now noticed his friend was nowhere to be seen. “You’re the reason for their delay?” she asked while backing him up by advancing.

“Delay?” At this point he’s backed up to the bar, “Okay look I may have had some choice words for…”

“Save it.” she cut him off, her attention back on her tablet, “You and Hae-Ryeong will accompany us. Mr. Virtanen awaits.”

Mosche urges you to finish your drink while not doing the same and rises, silently urging you to follow. 

“And we’ll take the stairs so no one gets lost.” Prentiss says leading the group. The man in the mask tried to protest, but after two words Prentiss stopped walking and sternly asked, “Do I need someone to carry you there?” and continued walking before he actually said, “No.”

The stairs were old stone work. It was up to flights before a heavy wooden door opens to the library. The stone walls were seven meters tall with bookshelves three meters high on every wall. Above those were two meter tall windows that revealed a windy moonlit night. But you recall it being daylight when you arrive. It smells exactly as it looks.

Lionel Virtanen is standing in the middle of the library wearing blue gray slacks and a matching button up shirt and a navy blue vest and tie. His height, hair, weight and face are unremarkable, plain and average. He’s reading an old copy of The Odyssey.

“Mosche and your guest sir.” Prentiss announces. “They were delayed by this man Simon Javier Malhotra born the 20th of January 1963. He is the global chairman, CEO and controlling shareholder of Metal Mammoth Mining and the founder, chairman and largest shareholder of FirstOrder Corporation. In 2022, Malhotra was named to Forbes' annual list of the world's billionaires. Wife, Barbara. Children…” 

“We get the point you fucking bitch, you know who I am. You can shut the fuck up now. Goddamn stupid cow wasting everybody’s goddamn time running off at the mouth with all the yakety yak yak.”

Lionel threw the copy of The Odyssey so the corner hit Malhotra on his penis. He then choked him into a standing position and said, “That’s enough out of you! I know everything! You disrespect my guests, my staff, in front of me, but the most grievous thing you did? Telling that private eye about this place. And why? Because you raped your son's wives on their wedding night and blackmailed you!” 

He released Malhotra and a pair of obvious sicario pick him up after playfully kicking him. Lionel slaps the mask off Malhotra, thrusts his middle and ring fingers up Malhotra’s nostrils and said,

“Low order scum. Prince, pauper, president, pawn, no one is beyond my reach.” He removed his fingers and gut punched Malthora who fell to his knees. The sicario held him up, pressing their crotches into his face. Lionel then looks into your eyes and says, “He’s all yours, what will you do with him?”