#TY CLAUDIA I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

[stevesbipanic]

To my most lovely @undreaming-fanfiction Happy Valentine's Day love youuuu 💕💕💕 I hope I managed to do all three of your prompts justice (small routines, learning new things about each other, and ghosts of your past) ENJOY!!!!! And Ty @artbean for putting this together 💕💕💕

After five years together there's not a lot of things Eddie doesn't know about Steve.

He knows that Steve likes to colour co-ordinate the calendar on their fridge and that his favourite day of the month is the first since he gets to write out everything on a clean slate.

He also knows that Steve has a particular way he does his hair, and that it was a big deal just seeing it done let alone being taught how to do it, it helps he now knows Steve loves a good head scratch.

He knows that Steve is an early riser and always goes on a run, but will shower and curl back in bed with him if Eddie is still asleep.

He knows that there's an order to how and when he checks on their family. The Sinclairs are first, making sure he's waited until Lucas should be back from training and Erica back from Tracey's, calling there too if there's a sleepover. Next is the Wheelers, Nancy promising him they're all ok if they're visiting and Mike letting him know if she's available that night if she's at college. Then the Hendersons, Claudia inviting him to dinner in the background as Dustin regales his day. Max is next, letting Steve know if she wants to stay over that night. The Byers are the end of the kids, El and Will promising him it's really over. Wayne is near the end, back from his shift safe and sound. Before they dated Eddie was during this time too, helping him to sleep just hearing Steve's voice. Robin is last and she'll be on the line until they're both safely in dreamland.

Eddie loves learning new things about Steve, especially when now they're further and far between. It comes as a suprise when it's something as simple as tea that teaches him something new about his sweetheart.

They're visiting Steve's grandma, who was a lot cooler about the whole boyfriend thing than Steve's parents were.

"Your grandpa, Otis, had a friend, Freddie, who kept a picture of his boy in his pocket, would've gotten him in a lot of trouble back then but love like that was worth dying for."

She had been I'll lately so him and Steve had taken a drive up to visit her, now living in a retirement home in Indy. She was a riot in Eddie's opinion, and made a mental note to make sure they visited her more, he was happy to drive them, anything for Steve.

They were halfway through a game of Scrabble, where Eddie had successfully convinced Steve that Megadeth should be allowed (it shouldn't), when the question was raised.

Edith, yes Eddie also got a delight out of the fact that they shared a name, buzzed her nurse who popped her head in knowing there were visitors.

"Everything good, Eds?" Eddie's eyes twinkled in mischief, he was teasing Steve about the name similarities when they got home.

"A spot of tea, darling? I'm parched and I'm sure these lovely boys are too. Steve, sweetheart?"

"Oh yes, milk and two sugars please, but cubes on the side instead of scoops of it's not trouble."

Eddie's heart skipped a beat at his answer, "Eddie, you want a tea?"

"Oh um, yes, same as him, please ma'am."

"Such polite boys, we need more grandsons like you visiting," she laughed leaving to make the tea. It was surely just a coincidence that Steve took his tea like that, he's sure plenty of people do.

The real suprise came when the tea was set down, cubes on the side, and Steve picked one up and mixed it in, leaving the other alone. The game continued, Eddie eyeing that lone cube, a similar one on his own saucer. When Steve took his last sip of tea he picked up the cube and popped it into his mouth, crunching it. Eddie did the same.

"Done that since you were a kid, always a sweet tooth."

Steve laughed, "It's how my nanny did it when we played tea party with Carol."

Edith smiled, "She was a lovely woman, shamed they moved outta town."

Something settled deep in Eddie's heart. The rest of the afternoon it sat there, and through the goodbyes and hugs, all through the drive home too.

Eddie didn't mention it as they made dinner, Steve doing the chopping and as always Eddie dutifully stirring. The feeling sat there through the night as they watched tv, curled up in a blanket built for one not two. Nothing was brought up as they cleaned up, Steve washing, Eddie drying. It wasn't until bed, in the safety and quiet of their room that Eddie asked.

"Your nanny? What was she like?"

Steve's eyes lit up, "Oh she was the best, noone as good before her and no-one as good after. She loved taking me to the park, sometimes if his dad said it was ok her son would come too, he was fun, built the best sandcastles. She always baked me cookies too, especially if Carol was coming over for a tea party. And she would tell me the little extra sugar was a treat and that I should always have something a little sweet in life."

Eddie's eyes were tearing up by the time Steve finished, "Eds, baby are you ok?"

"What was her name?"

Steve's eyebrows crinkled, "Sarah, why? Oh." He said, remembering the dark curls that surrounded her face, the ones on her son, the boy laying across from him.

"Your mum, oh Eds, so when the tea? I'm sorry." Steve knew about his mum and how when she died it left Eddie all alone.

"Can't believe in five years, we've never had tea," a wet chuckle followed Eddie's words.

A sad smile graced Steve's face, "We should have more, need a bit more sweetness in my life."

Eddie smiled at him, "Knew there was a reason I called you sweetheart, and I clearly won you over with my awesome sandcastles."

A laugh burst out of Steve and that sound was sweeter than any sugar Eddie could eat.

[savagewildnerness]

I’m so curious…

What’s the one thing you non-negotiably need to be present from the book The Vampire Lestat? (You’re only allowed ONE choice here! So pick wisely! Obviously there are many things we all want to see, so pick The most important one to you (where there is some chance it might not be used too.))

{For me, it is The Witches’ Place! It doesn’t have to be present exactly as it is in every conversation & situation in the books. But I need The Witches’ Place to be present literally, metaphorically & existentially & for it to be echoing backwards to Lestat’s childhood right through to Nicolas’ end (& what would have been his end 100 years earlier; or in any era, tolling like The Bell of Fate), through Lestat’s immortal eternity. And I think, with the TV show being set right at the height of The French Revolution, there is opportunity for even MORE super poignant parallels & FEELING & meaning with The Witches’ Place on TV which I hope they utilise to its full.}

And are there any things you are happy to lose? You can have as much as you like for this one. Because hopefully there aren’t *that* many!!?!

{For me, I’d initially imagined Lestat & Gabrielle might travel longer (it’s just a decade in the book even though Lestat refers to it as YEARS (as he feels eternity so keenly for the first time)), but now I think it might be shorter on tv?! Because we’ve seen more dramatic vampiric findings in travelling with Louis & Claudia & that doesn’t need to be repeated, but lesser… & the poignancy in that era is that Lestat’s family all die, Nicki dies (as Lestat knew would come to pass, so is hanging over him the whole time) & Gabrielle leaves him… it’s not about The travels so much. I think the feeling of being in Egypt matters. But I don’t mind if we lose the rest of The Places. I think now that maybe Nicki will die & Lestat will go into The Earth soon after 1796, when Gabrielle leaves him. And maybe that’s why Rolin didn’t want to show physically damaged Lestat in S2 - as Lestat may be in The Earth longer before Marius saves him & maybe Rolin wanted to save the horror of what he is for that moment? Although it affects the feeling if Marius waits years before rescuing Lestat (but, though a change. I think, an interesting one potentially…?)

But yeah, I’m happy to lose some of that travelling (though need to keep Gabrielle’s Akasha-esque philosophising & the sinking feeling of grief & hopelessness & the truth of the sorrow & the fear of feeling-less-ness etc!)

I’m also happy to lose some of Armand & Marius’ back stories in the vision/retelling way. It’s long to be *in a story* with them (especially Marius!) & we have some of Armand’s story already, so I think his can be condensed to the biggest feelings… then we can later get Armand’s story more fully from Armand himself, I hope!

And surely Marius’ story isn’t going to be *that* long? I think much of that can be told alongside Maharet & Mekare, later, perhaps? Though obviously we need some of it so TWMBK make sense.

Hmm…..?}

Anyway, all I know is I’m tying myself to a tree if The Witches’ Place isn’t present! But I imagine Sam would too, so surely we’re fine on that count!!?! 😁

How about you?

[nightcolorz]

So you seem to be the Armand expert and I have a few questions!

So what are the clear differences between like the book and movie and show Armand like what facets of the characters remain and which facets changed?

Also which aspects of each interpretation do you like? (Like what show Armand difference do you like) and which aspects of book Armand do you wish they would include in a future season? (Hope I’m making sense!)

AHH TY!!! (Being called an Armand expert is my favorite thing lmao)

I assume when in comes to book vs show vs movie u are asking me to talk about the changes of the character that r less superficially obvious (so u don’t expect me to just list height and age and ethnicity differences and be done with it lol). But either way, to start out, book Armand is Ukrainian, 5’6, ginger, cherub like, was turned into a vampire at 17. Show Armand is Indian, 6’0, lean and muscular, turned into a vampire at 27. Movie Armand is Antonio banderas, lmao.

I think the change that most significantly alters the adaptations of Armand from book Armand is the age change. In the books Armand being turned into a vampire as a teenager is essential to everything about him, backstory and personality wise. To keep Armand the same while aging him up you have to do a lot of substitutions that justify why he is like that that don’t include “he has the mind of a teenager”. What they do with show Armand is kind of like, imagine if there was an adaptation where the writers wanted Claudia to have a similar core conflict as she did in the books but she was aged up to be turned into a vampire when she was an adult. How do u keep the essence of the tragedy that way?? And the what the show does is, it justifies Armand being 27 by in some ways reducing his maturity and prolonging his trauma so that a similar affect to being mentally a child comes about anyway. Show Armand isnt physically a child like book Armand is, but bcus of his trauma he thinks like one. Instead of an adult trapped in the body and mind of a child he’s a child stumbling around in the body of an adult, which is rlly interesting. With this, I get the impression that book armand is more mature, self reliant, and well rounded than show Armand is. Which is funny considering he’s the 17 yr old lmaoo. But rlly, book Armand’s emotional problems and his stunted growth come from outside factors, it’s almost like a psychical disability in a way. Show Armand isnt psychically stunted, so to make the character conflict work he is just extra emotionally stunted. So he’s less functioning, in a weird way, then book Armand.

book Armand is also an angrier character then show Armand. Book Armand has mountains of betrayal and hurt and anger stored in his 5’6 ass body. He has that teen boy spite streak, yknow. Book Armand is very psychically violent and confrontational. The way he preforms violence is often very methodical, he’s the ripping wings of a butterfly type. Show Armand has some of these traits, but his violent tendencies are seemingly more controlled than book Armand, who is genuinely unhinged. Show Armand has a stronger reign over his behavior and acts out of anger less often. He is more so just looking to survive than to kill and maim. I think one of the most book Armand scenes in the show was definitely Armand torturing Daniel in episode 5. Violent torture coming from a strange place of childlike curiosity and betrayal is a big thing with Armand throughout the book series.

But despite the violence, book Armand is genuinely more mature then show Armand. He’s more confident, self reliant, and adult by the 80s than show Armand is in 2020. While show Armand has been living with Louis for 77 yrs and hasn’t experienced life ever when he’s not clinging to someone else, book Armand is able to rebuild himself and develop into a functioning independent person. I do think show Armand will become more and more like book Armand as the show progresses, however.

movie Armand is a different character entirely lmao. He’s basically just Armand in the first book taken out of context and played by antonio banderas. He has as much individual character as an audio book narrator lmao. His lack of backstory and older casting that alienates Armand from his core traits and motives makes it hard for me to see him as anything but a watered down extension of book Armand lol.

my favorite part of show Armand is Assad’s wet cat performance, lol. I love how they keep Armand’s book backstory broadly the same and flesh out and add parts that make it more interesting. And I love how they made Armand a person of color, that is probably my favorite change made in the show in general. I love that book Armand is a teenager, and it’s a shame that I’ll never see an adaptation exploring what that means for his character, but I’m happy with how amc is re inventing the material to be just as interesting. I hope they start to include the nuances of book Armand introduced in queen of the damned (aka: the autism). The revelation that Armand is oddly whimsical, earnestly curious, and fascinated with being a part of human society is what I think is essential to humanizing and endearing him to the audience.

ty for the ask!

[raayllum]

Analysis of the cube scene

Because it's like 0.2 seconds and I still have thoughts, so here we go.

First things first, I want to talk expression change, since we see Callum while speaking when you heighten the exposure on the clip's beginning that his eyebrows are a lot more raised, and then it hardens not quite into full-on anger maybe, but resignation.

We can also see the tip of Callum's hand gloves as he apparently holds the cube up. It's not absurd for him to hold the cube in his hand, as he has done many times before, but it seems more likely now in S7 that it's a reference back to this post from his pawn intro.

As for the background, whereas last time Callum being corrupted in the trailer featured Finnegrin's office (hence it + the overt framing of Aaravos) made it clear it was a nightmare, this background is a little more ambiguous. In my big trailer breakdown analysis, I noted that maybe the group would try to collect their allies, and the mushrooms look like the big ones we see near Zubeia.

So if Callum is standing or on sitting up on eye-level with some, that makes sense. His background also looks a little like the entrance to the Pit of Despair for the smooth blue shape, but it doesn't have any of the red mushrooms, so I'm ruling that out and putting it closer to Zubeia.

There's a few reasons we could be going to get Zubeia! We could be going to get her for her help, or mushroom salves if the Sunfire elves decide to try and purify Lux Aurea / themselves again in order to thwart Aaravos' plans if he needs both Sun and Moon to be actively corrupted (it does seem like Lux Aurea becomes safer later on in the trailer). Callum could be having a nightmare on his way to the Mushroom mage for that purpose, brought about by the knowledge that Aaravos is out, or Aaravos messing with his head again.

His nightmares previously seemed more induced by the corruption/Aaravos' hold on him (6x01) and his direct worry about it (6x03) when he knew being possessed was an option, as it is no longer, but they could retread ground from S6. Janai is seemingly receiving nightmares from Aaravos despite having no connection with dark magic, so it's certainly possible even if it I think it's less likely (more on that in a bit).

I've also wondered about what the "darkness and corruption will overwhelm you" would look like. Is it instantaneous, or is it slow-going? If it's the latter, Callum could be on his way to the mushroom mage in hopes of purifying himself before it takes over him completely, and has the vision of the cube going dark magic-y red during a night of fitful rest.

One of the things that makes discerning whether this is a dream or reality especially hard is that we know that dark magic dreams can be prophetic (the rune cube in Callum's in 2x08 highlighting ocean and moon, highlighting that he would use dark magic again in S5 Ocean and for his Moonshadow elf; little Claudia saying she's following in Viren's "footstep" (singular) or walking out into the ocean; Aaravos seemingly revealing information to Janai for whatever reason).

So Callum's 2x08 dream with the cube could reference the cube itself being corrupted somehow, and turning Aaravos' book into the ultimate guide to dark magic rather than primal magic. Perhaps the whole screenshot is based in reality.

The other thing that's tricky is that we know that dreams and reality can be blurred, tying into the prophetic aspect from before.

So aspects of it could be a dream / nightmare (Callum sees the dark magic cube, we do a wide cut to see he's corrupted - though he can't see it, maybe he could feel it?) or it could be fully reality, or a mixture of the two. I'm probably leaning towards the mixture option unless we discover the cube itself can be corrupted (which it presumably is tied to primal magic if not deep magic, so conceivably it Could??).

I'm also deeply curious about the context of Callum's "however dangerous, however vile". Unlike Viren or Claudia, it's not a refrain he's said before in a dream or otherwise, nor would he presumably have ever heard any of them say it. Perhaps he and Aaravos have a conversation, and Aaravos taunts him with the phrase or brings it up? Or he could hear Claudia say it in their duel in S7.

And there's our 500-ish words on a split second scene, what do you think is happening in it?

[claudiablogger]

idk if they are gonna put lestat through the ringer but i would really like if they don’t make loustat endgame or whatever,like it doesn’t make sense,i really don’t want to see louis going back to him lmao i know im delusional but i hope the show will change the otps like anne rice really wanted,she was right hating on loustat lol it should be lesmand+that creep british hag david,and not louis ty

scream i sounded hopeless in my post didn't i. but this is horror and s3 is lestat (loustat) so i have faith. no one hates lestat more than a girl who is him so i do sympathize w yr dreams and wishes but i fear he's the one for louis.....especially now that claudia is dead. like i said louis isn't avoidant and after the second interview he wants to come to terms with his grief and keep paul and claudia in him and lestat is a big part of the latter (everything is abt loustat except loustat which is abt claudia, etc) especially now that louis knows he didn't kill claudia but still has a lot to atone for. like despite it all he still loves lestat and moreover he loves the family they were.....god. i do love and appreciate how this show is engaging w themes of forgiveness and redemption and how neither of these are necessary for louis to embrace her love for lestat, because most of all that love is a part of herself. it's not for his benefit. and as for lestat and his love.....when you've done the worst thing you can to another person--when you've said the unsayable and committed to the unforgivable-- what does it mean to build a love on that horror and that grief.....i have to say im a sucker for a narrative that explores personhood through and beyond monstrosity (<- queen's thief enjoyer) and lestat exemplifies that currently in 2022, mired in grief, wanting louis despite knowing he shouldn't. endgame loustat is less about louis going back to him (lestat has lived in his heart for over a hundred years. you carry him in here ! you slow us down) and more about lestat's growth and louis' acceptance of being seen; they have all of eternity to return to each other. and again what could induce two people to coexist with unimaginable horror and pain that one of them inflicted on the other....how they leave the damage so they never forget the damage.....honoring claudia and honoring louis' love for what they had. there is something to be said for lesmand and finding relief and recognition in the worst versions of each other but lestat could never betray claudia or louis by going back to armand at this point imo. plus well our louis is actually interesting + kind of a freak she needs someone who matches that and we know lestat has the game. sigh. who's david <3

[danlous]

oh interesting! to me lestat's idolization of marius is so integral to his character that i can't see it not happening. the way he has been portrayed in s1, i think it would make sense for him as a character to not think of sex slavery/rape as anything particularily bad and just another thing that some vampires do to abuse others, if that makes sense. i think that it would go hand in hand with how he abused claudia in regards to her rape, mocking her, torturing her with the memories of the act etc. there is that one line from the books, i think he describes armand as "still being a scared orphan" (or something like that) so on some level he realizes what happend to him might not have been great (just like he admitted in the trial that what he did to louis was wrong), but i dont think that would be enough, for lack of a better word, for him to not want to be like marius (not saying that he wants to copy the way marius acts with his fledglings, but that it's not something that lestat would mind if someone else does it, if that makes sense) overall there are still things that would be great to be included in the show and finally done justice, compared to how horrible the books basically treated every storyline. i really want a well written tragedy and them giving all the characters so much more depth, let's hope for the best! (i always appreciate your long answers to the asks you get, because i think there is a lot of great discussions to be had about iwtv and it's nice to read what people think without it being derailed by some weirdos)

You're making me reconsider, maybe you're right that Lestat will still idolize Marius in the show at least on some level. Lestat is so cynical and has his unique views about evil or if such a thing even exists. He might be impressed by Marius' power and superficial charm and knowledge, and think 'well, i've done all kinds of horrible things to my fledglings, who am i to judge, we're both monsters'. Him experiencing shame and remorse for his actions in the modern time might make him only more likely to view Marius in idealized and somewhat sympathetic light, because he could see the monstrosity he sees in himself reflected in Marius and relate to him, and think that if he himself is ever going to redeem himself Marius must be redeemable too.

Because they seem to be going for some type of redemption arc for Lestat (at least Sam has several times indicated that Lestat has been depicted at his lowest and most awful in the show as a starting point for his character development) i could see them tying it with his relationship with Marius, Lestat initially making excuses for and idolizing him because Marius represents abusive white patriarchal power structures and qualities Lestat still deep down identifies with, and then he'd slowly over the series become disillusioned with Marius and everything he represents. But this is purely a guess, i don't know what will happen other than that i'm confident it'll be better than in the books. Also i really need to reread tvl and qotd because they come up constantly but details are getting fuzzy in my head

[saintsofwarding]

BURIAL

Chapter 14

On and on.

A fall through darkness.

Elena didn't let go. She wound her fists into Donna's jacket and held on. Glass rained around them, cold against her face, and then nothing at all, both of them drifting in the dark like it was water, like they were sinking, not falling.

Hours, seconds. Elena couldn't tell how long, just that they had at last reached some kind of bottom. Elena's boots sank into water, calf-deep, cold and dark as ink. They settled, together, wound around another, Donna's hand still clenched around the scissors deep in Elena's shoulder.

Each breath hurt, but it was a real hurt, not a spectral one, red and raw, tearing a little. Elena's eyes filled with tears as she curled to her knees, Donna draped over her, her breathing sharp and ragged.

For a moment- silence.

Then, a thin voice-

"Where am I?"

Elena lifted her hand and cleared the veil from Donna's face. She stared into the dark with her single eye. "I don't know. The bottom, maybe."

"Are you real?"

"I hope so."

She buried her face again in the crook of Elena's shoulder. She felt like a drowned thing saved seconds from death, shaking and shuddering and bony and pale. Elena's hand stroked down the channel of her spine, settled against her waist.

She felt her ribs against her palm, expanding and contracting with each breath. Fragile, but they'd served her this far.

"I stabbed you," Donna said.

"Yep. It really hurts."

"Oh-!" She pulled back and with a single sharp jerk, yanked the scissors free. Elena yelped; blood pulsed from the puncture, but it slowed after a moment. It wasn't as bad as she'd thought, just a gash to the top of her deltoid.

She heard fabric tearing and looked round to see Donna pull her veil from her head and tear a strip off the front panel, antique black lace ripping like paper. Deftly as a trained nurse, Donna rolled up Elena's sleeve and bandaged the wound.

"Better?" she asked, tying off the silk.

"Yes...sure."

Donna pressed her fingertips to her lips, then to the silk, over the wound. "There's nowhere else to go," she whispered.

"Out."

"She's out there. I hear her." She slid her fingers into the matted gray-black tangle of her hair. "Waiting for the right moment. Like a blood clot in the brain. "

"Then..." Elena let out her breath. "We'll just have to go back past her. Together."

"...Together?"

"You're stuck with me, Lady Beneviento," Elena told her. She touched Donna's face, brushing her thumb over her eye growth. Its pulse fluttered at her skin, calming as a lullaby. "Whether you like it or not."

Donna gave a weak little laugh. "Good thing I like it."

"Now think. This is the bottom. The end. The deepest dark. Where do we go from here?"

"We don't," Donna said. "It's safe in here. It's good. She won't bother us in here. Nothing will. We're so far down it's like we don't exist at all."

Light speared the dark. Elena looked up. A beam. It made a circle on the darkness, a circle of white light, and in it: shadows. They were gray, indistinct, blurry as a reflection. Elena watched they sharpened, becoming not shadows but two girls, black-haired and pale, as alike as beetle shells. They played in a sunlit birch forest, laughing and dancing hand in hand, braiding flowers into one another's hair. All in silence, save for the faint click-whisper of the film.

Donna watched it with a soft look in her eye. A smile touched her face.

"I loved her, you know," she murmured.

"I know."

"I wanted only to protect her. Like Mother tried to protect us. But I learned my ways from her, and Mother only knew fear. So she taught me that fear in turn. And in the moment, the last moment before I realized she had stopped struggling, you know what it was I felt?"

"What?"

"Perfect love. Pure and innocent. Because I knew I would do anything to protect her. And I had. I took her from Miranda. I took her far away. And she can never be touched now, can she?"

Elena shook her head. Young Donna and Claudia whirled through the sunlight, a day lost forever, a day that was a memory, an echo. Again, and again. Around, and around. It would never change. It would always be perfect.

"She's dead, Donna," Elena told her, gently.

Donna's mouth quivered.

"She's gone," Elena went on. "You're not. Don't die with her." She took her cold hands in her own. Her fingers were rusty with blood, dark crescents trapped under her nails, her palms a mess of scrapes and scabs.

"I can't do it," Donna said. "It's too much. It's too heavy."

"Not between the two of us."

"Us...? No. No...just leave me here, you can't want-"

"Shut up," Elena said. Donna flinched and looked up at her. "You don't tell me that. You don't get to tell me that. Like you don't know me. You think I'm going to abandon you in this hole?"

She gave Donna a little shake. "Can't you see I want it? All of it? All of you? I want to see you in the sunlight. I want to see you dancing, any way you please." She gripped a handful of Donna's sleeve. "Now listen to me. You think I'm going to decide, now, that I don't want anything more than to drag you out with me even if it kills us both?"

Donna blinked. "...No."

"Good. Because I didn't fight my way up here for the fun of it. I came back for you. For you. Understand?"

"I think I'm beginning to."

"We're getting out of this together, you and me," Elena said. "Or not at all."

Donna blinked. She gave a tiny nod.

"You control this. This is your power. Your dream." Elena looked toward the circle of light, the children playing in it. "So change it."

Donna lifted her eye. The light flickered in it. Her lashes fluttered shut, spiky against her cheek. A wind picked up, warm, not cold. It smelled bittersweet. Like flowers.

The circle of light brightened. It eclipsed the memories of Donna and Claudia; they faded into the brightness. It intensified, carving into Elena's vision, so bright she had to look away, so bright it was like looking into the sun.

"She knows," Donna said. "She'll find us. So hurry."

"Come on, then."

They dragged each other to their feet as the sunlight grew. The edge of the circle bit into Elena's palms; it felt like glass. She clambered over, tumbling down the far side, into the light. Donna fell by her side, a flutter of black fabric, then nothing, her vision reduced to a field of pure white.

They landed ankle-deep in snow. Elena's breath shot from her; she stumbled a little. Donna steadied her.

"Where is this, now?" she asked, her voice prim and puzzled.

Elena looked around as the last of the spectral light vanished, the white void smoothing over into snowy sky, frozen ground. Mist lay heavy over the snow, over the ramshackle fences rising around them, painted in peeling red and blue and deep green. The houses rose beyond, shutters creaking in the wind, bone charms jangling as it soughed past them. Past the low-hanging mist, an impression of Castle Dimitrescu loomed, but it was distant, unreal, more like a child's watercolor painting than the real fortress.

All was bitterly cold, but clumps of yellow flowers still grew at the base of fences, at the corners of houses.

"It's..." Elena's mouth was numb. "It's home, it's the village, it's..."

She trailed away. Donna cast her gaze around. "Is this the village? It's been such a long time since I've seen it. It's..."

She paused.

"This is your dream," she told her.

The world shuddered; snow flurried in the aftershock, the wind picking up. On it, echoing from all around, came Angie's laughter and her taunting little song. Fear jolted Elena and she grabbed for Donna's hand.

"We have to get inside," she hissed.

"Elena-"

She jerked Donna forward before she could say more. Through gaps in fences, under trees, around corners; she ducked and weaved through the maze of the abandoned, misty streets. Her heart raced. She knew what she was looking for, at last. Where was it?

Searching your whole life...

She skidded round the next corner.

...never seemed quite right, did it? The way things happened.

It was there, at once. Firelight lay golden on the snow. The windows were illuminated, and past her glimpse of the familiar lace curtains Elena heard the echo of voices, the smell of cooking. Ciorba and sweets, bacon sizzling in the pan, cabbage rolls and spices and baking dough.

Tears filled her eyes. She ran through the gate, pushing herself along on a fence post, up the front path. The door opened at a touch, and she spilled inside, breathing hard, Donna at her shoulder.

"Elena..." Donna whispered.

"We'll be safe in here." Elena stepped over the threshold and into warmth. Firelight, candle-glow, deep shadows. Her home, familiar in a way that it no longer was. This was her memory of the place, a child's recollection, colors too bright, no grime or cobwebs or disrepair. No poverty here, nor grief. Nor loss. The table stretched before her and it was full of people.

Her mother, alive and smiling, crows' feet crinkling at the corners of her kind brown eyes.

Her father, younger and unbent, a red kerchief knotted at his throat.

Andrei, fidgeting in his chair, and Violeta, her long golden hair shining like beaten metal.

Other people, too, strangers she didn't recognize at first. A man and a woman, dark-haired and pale and smiling, dressed in shabby finery. And a little girl, a reflection of Donna, her long plaited hair swinging as she told a story, using her hands to make shadow puppets on the wall.

"We'll be safe in here," Elena whispered, her mouth quivering. Her eyes were warm. Her mother looked up and beamed, lifting her hands.

"Darling," she called. "Elena. There you are. Come in, come in, you must be freezing."

Elena's feet were already moving. Donna's hands clenched down hard on her wrist, tight as a manacle.

"Elena, no," she urged. "This is a trick, it's all a trick."

"What are you talking about? She'll never find us here."

"Who, darling?" her mother said, brows drawn together.

"No one, Mama," Elena whispered.

But Donna yanked at her, so hard she tottered back a step. "This is another trap-"

Elena wrenched her hand from Donna's grip. "Elena!" she cried, but Elena stepped inside, her voice melting away, her terror and her pounding heart and the ache of all her wounds fading as the firelight enfolded her, as she took her place at the foot of the table. It was spread as if for a midsummer feast, an impossible bounty- all the good things she'd smelled, the porcelain glister of egg wash and the deep caramel tone of perfectly-baked bread, stews and bright crisp vegetables and fruits like she'd never before seen, shining like gemstones on intricately-painted china.

Yellow flowers were arranged in vases, and the air glimmered with their pollen. It winked like small stars.

"I'm so glad you could be here," her mother went on.

"She's a good guest," Claudia said, pausing in her shadow play. "Isn't she, Mother?" The dark-haired woman stroked her head, but did not speak.

"The very best," Elena's father said, with a wink. "The best daughter anyone could ask for. Isn't that right, 'Lena?"

"I try, Pa." Elena reached for his hand, but he sat a little too far away, and her fingertips grasped at nothing. She lowered her hand.

White flickered in the corner of her eye. She glanced over. A curious doll sat on the sideboard, long and spindly, dressed in aged white lace.

"Do we have another guest?" she asked.

"Darling, don't you remember?" her mother said. "Your father made you that doll."

"I...no, he didn't. Did he? I don't...you never made me any dolls." "He made so many dolls," her mother went on.

"One for every day of the year," her father said.

"That's too many dolls," Violeta muttered, plucking a sprig of yellow flowers from one of the vases.

Had he made her dolls? Her memories felt like water in her hands. What did it matter, anyway? Elena smiled.

"Elena, please, listen to me."

"Come," her mother urged. "Have something to eat. Rest here a while. Doesn't that sound good?"

"Yes," Elena admitted.

"You can. We don't have to talk...about the past, about anything. You've done so much talking, so much pleading, bargaining, begging. It's good to be silent, to not say anything and simply allow yourself to be loved. And you are, my sweet girl. You're loved, here. Everything precious is here. Everything that was taken from you, that should have always been yours. Doesn't it feel that way? Like your future was stolen from you before it even had a chance to exist?"

Elena inclined her head. "Like a dream," she murmured. "Like it was waiting for me. Beyond the borders...beyond the...the warding-saints..."

"Hush, now. You don't need to worry about running," her mother said. "About what waits for you beyond. Why would you need to run? It's here, it was always here. Deep down. And now you've arrived, and we're all so pleased to have you, so pleased you've joined with us at last. We can catch up in the morning, and for now..."

"Rest," her father said.

"It's safe here," Claudia told her.

"It's good, here," her mother said.

"Nothing to frighten you in the night," her father said. "Nothing waiting in the dark beyond the door. Only what you know. Isn't that right?"

"This is the way it should be," her mother said. Red shining in the darkness. The drip of heavy liquid against stone. She smiled, softly this time, her face a mirror for Elena's in the candlelight. "This is the way it always should have been."

***

"Let her go."

(Let her go? But this is what she wanted!) Angie gave a derisive snicker. (Look how fast she fell for it)

"No. You tricked her. You didn't play fair."

(Nothing's fair, Donna. She's an interloper. A cuckoo. A traitor. She messed it all up and this is really her just desserts, mark my words)

"This...this isn't what I want!"

(I don't care what you want! You stupid, silly little thing, I care about what's best for you! And I know best!)

Donna paced back and forth, back and forth, tension building in her every nerve. The darkness of the well room shivered as if caught in an earthquake

(The well room? Naive Donna, this has been inside your mind all this time, how you cling to the talismans that make you safe and destroy you all at once)

and all the while, Angie perched on the lip of the old stone well, eyes rolling back and forth, following Donna's movements.

(Come back to me, Donna. We can be together again. You and me hiding away. That was good, right? That was the way it oughta be, really. We don't need anyone else. Anything else. That useless old groundskeeper and his nasty little children, poking and prodding like they could be of any help. Simpering Violeta who couldn't handle a couple parasites. And now this one. E-LAAAAAAY-na. A plain brown mouse caught in a trap. Crush its head under your heel before its squeaking gets too shrill)

Another shudder. The stone walls seemed to writhe and squirm around her, the darkness full of eyes and teeth and horrors beyond imagining, all that she feared. Donna clutched at her own arms, her black nails biting deep into the fabric.

(Let me take care of her)

(Feed her to the flowers after)

(All can be like it was before, Donna)

(All can be like it should be)

Donna lifted her head and looked at Angie, right in the eyes. Like looking in a mirror. She lowered her arms.

"All like it should be," she echoed.

She stepped forward.

***

"Do you remember?" Elena asked quietly.

Candlelight, warm hands. Her mother's scent, rosemary and lemon. All good things, none of the shadows.

At the head of the table, her mother blinked. "What, darling?"

"When you left. You said...you told me I would barely have time to miss you." Elena lifted her head. "But I did. Every day you were gone. And every day since your suitcase came back without you. I looked for you everywhere. Not just...not just searching, I mean, I knew you'd died in the castle. In other ways. In the smell of fresh herbs, cut from the window-box, like all of summer contained in the palm of my hand. Another woman's laugh- not quite right, but almost, so close I might pretend it was yours. The sound of footsteps on the front porch. The peace I felt the moment before I fell asleep. Like you'd just finished telling me a story. Like you had just left the room. I thought nothing could touch me there."

A smile touched her lips.

"And in my own face," she murmured. "I watched it change, and I was glad, because as I grew older I looked more and more like you. And in that small way, I could keep you alive."

She met her mother's eyes. The others, her other beloved ghosts, shifted and whispered alongside her.

They were thin, like painted paper.

Like moth wings, trapped in amber.

Like shadows on the wall.

"But you're not," Elena said. "You're not. And you never will be again. I think I never stopped searching for you. Like I could fix the world if only I could make what happened to you right. But it won't, will it? It's not right. You'll stay dead, and gone. It'll all stay empty. Trapped in that circle of light."

"Elena..." her mother murmured.

The smell of rot and damp. The thick, sweetish fug of decaying organic matter. The dring of thick liquid grew louder, and in the corners, where the light didn't touch-

None of this was right.

None of this was as it should be.

"I miss you so much, Mama," Elena said. Her voice trembled, her eyes warm. A tear broke down her cheek. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you."

"Then don't, sweet girl." Her voice was soft, a soothing whisper, the way she'd told Elena stories to lull her to sleep. "It's cold outside. Stay with me. Stay with all of us. You said it yourself. It's safe in here."

"I know," Elena said.

Her fist tightened on the arm of her chair.

"But it isn't real," she said.

Her mother's pale gaze hardened. Had her eyes been that color before? They glittered like glass in the candlelight, and when she smiled, something was wrong with her teeth.

"Wrong move, Elena," she said, and Angie began to laugh.

***

(It's too late, anyway, Donna. She's lost. Buried so deep she'll never get out, no matter how much she digs)

"I know you were trying to help me, Angie."

(...What?)

"All these years. You, taking me far away. You, by my side, in my arms. Whispering to me the right thing to do so I stayed safe. I know I made you this way, Angie, and it's not fair of me to turn on you now."

She shook her head, wistful and wan. "How else could you be? This was the way you were supposed to act. You did everything right. But now it has to end."

Angie cocked her head.

(Don't be stupid)

"I'm not," Donna told her. "I know all you did was out of love."

(Don't do this, Donna)

"I have to."

(You're not brave enough-)

"That's not going to work on me anymore. I am more than enough. And I think you realize now what I'm truly capable of."

(Please Donna please, I'm sorry, I'll let her go. Okay? She can live in your house and I won't bother you again. Oh, please, please, please, you can make her doll clothes and give her flowers and anything you want and I'll be quiet, I'll be good, I promise)

"Oh, Angie, my dearest," Donna told her. "You and I both know that's not true."

She stopped before the doll, hesitated, and reached out. She lifted her, then cradled her to her chest, rocking her back and forth, humming to her under her breath, a slow, sweet lullaby. She felt the pulse of the Cadou in Angie's head, the way it harmonized with its elder sibling implanted deep in her chest cavity, its tentacles twining like strangling vines round her ribs.

It had been there so long it was a part of her, nested deep. How cold the scalpel had been, parting muscle and fat, cracking through bone, carving a place for the gift to take root. But now all she felt was warmth, the soft hum of the tandem pulses, the way Angie's comforted her. In all her monstrousness, in all her mutilation, she would never be alone.

(Donna)

"Yes?"

(Do you love me)

"With all that I am."

(Don't go)

A cold hand traced the line of Donna's cheek.

(Don't leave me to the dark)

Donna bent. She pressed a kiss to Angie's porcelain face. "It's all right," she told her. "You're a part of me. You always will be. And I will never, never, never go away."

And she whirled, and opened her arms, and she flung Angie into the depths of the well.

***

"Elena!"

She stood. The shadows around her rose, too, glittering doll eyes trained on her. The view outside the windows was one of blazing golden light. Underfoot, the house began to shake. Her mother stared back at her, Angie's cackle going on and on and on, ringing deep into her skull.

Elena jerked back, but her father reached out, hand snapping over her wrist; his fingers bit down.

"Stay with us," he said.

"Stay," Claudia said.

"Stay," Violeta echoed, tipping her head to the side.

"No- let me go-" She twisted at her father's grip, but he was strong, too strong for her to break free. She reached for her rifle, but it was gone, too; the cutlery on the table melted under her touch. The walls began to melt, too, the world swirling into haze at the edges of her vision. Only her mother's grin was real, slick and red.

"Elena!"

That voice. It was so familiar. Elena remembered in a burst like a kick to the gut. "Donna!" Her voice broke from her, raw and ragged. "Donna, I'm here."

"Hold on-"

And she was there. Her pale hands on Elena's. The house around them broke apart, Elena's ghosts swirling away into nothingness. Her father's grip vanished, and she stumbled against Donna. She was stronger than she looked; she held Elena up, kept her from falling. Angie's laughter became a shrill scream like a buzz-saw; cracks shot through the house, through the table and floor, bright white light streaming through.

"Are you real?" Elena mumbled.

The whisper came against her face, between kisses to her cheek. "Yes."

The dream broke apart. The light seared over them. A swirl of yellow petals, a swooping wrench in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't standing, she was laying down on something hard. A table? Her arms and legs wouldn't move; something restrained her. A vase of yellow flowers was placed by her head, the smell of their bittersweet perfume sticky on the back of her throat. The light stabbing into her eyes- that wasn't dream-light. It was a lamp, hanging over her face. She recognized it in an instant as the lamp in the doll workshop.

It caught a thread of silver light on the edge of a blade.

Elena took it all in. Angie, standing over her. The doll's mouth open in a gleeful, sinister grin. Her arms raised.

The scissors, clenched in her hands.

Elena gasped. Her eyes sprang wide.

The scissors arced down.

The crack was like thunder, like an old land mine had gone off behind Elena's eyes. The side of Angie's head exploded in a spray of porcelain fragments and pinkish, glutinous flesh. It calcified in midair, shards of crystal raining over Elena as she stared, mouth open, unable to move.

Angie screamed. The sound sheared through Elena's skull, on and on- no, that wasn't just Angie, it was the thing in her head, fetal, curled, pulsating, tentacles whipping free to claw and writhe at the air. The scissors spun and clattered to the table as Angie swayed back and forth, tearing at the hole in her cranium with her fingers, like she could put it all back together.

With a sound like crunching glass, the thing in her head turned cloudy, then gray, then to glittering crystal. The scream sharpened- then died. It trailed off in a wheeze, and Angie shuddered, and stilled.

She collapsed. A marionette with strings cut. She fell to the table with a clunk, nothing more than a heap of old lace and lifeless porcelain.

Elena looked back. Donna stood behind her, Elena's rifle aimed at the place where Angie had just been. A wisp of smoke curled from the barrel.

"Oh," Donna said, her voice small.

Elena made herself speak. "Are you sure this is real?" she managed.

Donna blinked, then tossed the rifle aside and rushed to Elena. She scrabbled at the ropes binding Elena to the table, then went for a knife and sawed her loose. She was crying, Elena saw, tears streaming down her face from her single eye, turning her cheek red. "Sorry, sorry," she kept saying. "This dratted old rope, it's so tough- sorry-"

And then she was free, and Elena grabbed for her, and Donna flung her arms around Elena's neck. She was crying, now, in earnest. The both of them were, and Elena began to laugh when she realized yes, this was real, this was happening, and she felt all at once unable to comprehend the moment, the pure, drowning relief of it.

Elena felt something crunch under her hand, and lifted it to find the remnants of the yellow flowers crushed against her palm. She must have knocked over the vase in the struggle.

"Where is she?" Elena asked, brushing the crushed petals from her skin. They left smears of pollen behind. "Angie?"

"Gone."

"Oh, saints- Donna-"

Donna gave her a shaky smile. "It's all right," she said. "I don't need her anymore."

***

They limped up together, arms over one another's shoulders. A four-legged beast, hunched and haggard and bloodied. Donna's beautiful black mourning clothes were all ruined, a couple buttons torn from her jacket, the skirt in tatters. Her veil was gone, hair hanging loose around her sweaty face. Elena couldn't stop looking at her.

"What?" Donna panted, as they collapsed against the side of the elevator, on their way up from the basement.

"Nothing. You're so beautiful, is all."

"Oh." She picked at her skirt, a little smile playing over her face.

"It's true." Elena took a short breath. It hurt. Her vision was ringed with black, creeping in from the edges. "Don't...don't...tell me I'm..."

She crumpled. Donna swooped to catch her up again. "Shh. Just breathe. I'll fix you up. Make you feel all better."

"Just a minute to sit down."

"Yes, that's right. And a cup of tea."

"That'll fix me right up. Do you have any whiskey to put in it?"

Donna stroked her hair back from her sweaty forehead. "I think I can figure something out."

They limped from the elevator, down the corridor, heading toward the main hall. Elena's body was too cold, too heavy. White danced through her lashes as the hallway whirled around her like she was dancing. She tasted blood on the back of her throat. Little wonder, considering all she'd been through in the last few hours. Her fall down the well, her fight with Heisenberg, her flight through the nightmares. What time was it? Near dawn, surely. The long, long night, nearly spun itself out.

Maybe they could watch the sunrise together.

"It'll look..." she started.

"Hmm?"

"...beautiful, coming over the mountains..."

"Hush. Save your strength."

"Donna. I want you to know-"

"I love you, too."

Elena let out a hiss of a laugh. "How did you..."

"I've been inside your head, Elena," Donna told her. Her smile swam in Elena's vision. "I know all your secrets."

She pushed through the door and into the front hall.

It wasn't empty.

Feathers rustled, and spread, unfurling in a glistening, glorious fan of iridescent black. Eight vast wings, the bitter reek of mold, the glow of gilt in the firelight. She had removed her mask, her face beneath pale, beautiful, composed.

Miranda.

Donna jerked to a halt with a sharp gasp. Elena hung from her grip, arm hooked around her neck. She quivered from the exertion of staying conscious, but inside, calm settled down at the pit of her stomach.

"Child," Miranda said. Her eyes settled on Donna. "I've been waiting. And you've been far more interesting than I could have ever anticipated."

"Mother." Donna's voice sounded small, crushed down to a whisper. "I...I did not expect a visit from..."

"Quiet." Her voice rang through the house; it shuddered, like it was frightened, too. Mold glistened in the corners, snaking over the walls. She faced them, fully, those impossible wings radiating from her back. The Black God's prophet, come to do her holy work.

"Leave, Donna," she commanded. "Wait for me elsewhere. Do not wound yourself by watching as I take your servant's life."

Donna lifted her chin. "No."

"Child." Miranda's eyes brightened. "You've defied me enough. Don't you understand? There are no more of your flowers in here. Nothing for you to fight with. And without your dreams, what are you? Not a monster. Not a god. Not one of the Black God's chosen, no longer. Just a frightened child, her time swiftly running out."

"No," Elena said, softly.

Miranda's head whipped toward her. "What?"

Elena could no longer speak. Her strength was gone. All she could do was lift her hand, dripping with dark sap.

And the golden haze of pollen drifting around it, winking like stars in the gloom.

"Poor Miranda," Donna said, sing-song, a ferine grin curving over her face. "Never stood a chance."

The air turned bittersweet: a sudden flare of floral scent, overpowering in these confines. Pressure dropped. It crackled in Elena's ears, aching in her bones. Miranda snapped rigid; her eyes were wide, staring, darting from side to side. She quivered, drawing in her taloned hands. They gripped at her upper arms. Her lips fluttered. A prayer, maybe. Or a plea.

"Deeper," Donna whispered. "Deeper."

"P...please...child..."

"Hush," Donna breathed. "Further down, Mother. Safe down there. Warm down in the dark. Shhh."

The bittersweet smell of flowers strengthened. Prisms refracted in Elena's eyes. She watched as Miranda shrank back, as she curled in on herself, crumpling down to the floor. Her wings curved over her as if they could shield her, but they melted away like ice in the sunlight, becoming a pool of black mold that squirmed and writhed around her.

Fear shone in her eyes. "I...I'm not done...such a long time, such a long way still to go..."

"Shhh," Donna said. She stepped forward to stroke Miranda's hair. It was blonde, Elena saw, under the ornate black and gold veil. Pale blonde, perfectly ordinary. Strange, to find that out, here at the end. "Rest, now. Oh, I see her. Do you see her?"

"...Yes," Miranda said.

"She's with you?"

"Yes." A hint of a smile touched Miranda's face. Her arms moved, as if to cradle an infant to her heart. "My little Eva."

"Good. Now. Sleep. Dream." Donna let out her breath. "Forever."

Miranda slumped from under Donna's hand. The look in her eyes emptied. The pollen swirled in the stillness, the silence, drifting to settle on Elena's skin.

***

"What..." Elena breathed, at last. "What did you do to her?"

"I put her away. Hid her deep," Donna said. She let out a long breath, the look in her eye bright, far away. So far Elena thought she might not come back.

But she did. Her eye focused, and turned to Elena, full of warmth. "I buried her so far down she will never get out. She won't bother us anymore."

"Oh." Elena nodded. "Good."

"Very clever, with the flowers."

"...Donna."

"Yes?"

"I- I think I'm-"

She never finished. Elena's legs gave out. The last thing she saw was Donna reaching for her, Donna's face, her wide eye, her mouth shaping her name.

And darkness fell.

[basiltonpitch]

ty for the tag rae @ice-sculptures !!

when did you post your first ever fanfic? like...2013 i think??? it was house of anubis fabina fanfic and i don't even remember the plot but it's probably still up on ff.net lmfao

first character you wrote for: fabian & nina from house of anubis

main character(s) you’re currently writing for: mike, will, & el

character(s) you haven’t written about before but plan on writing about soon: henderess <3 claudia & karen are lesbians To Me

fandom(s) you’re currently writing for: stranger things, altho i have not published anything :') have been a very slow writer as of late

platonic pairing(s) you currently write: willel!!

your top 3 tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3): aside from "ficlet" (which half my fics are tagged with), it's "pining" with 4 out of 10 fics tagged lmao

your current platform where you post your works: ao3!! right now i just have benvi fics on there but hope to post my byler fic sometime within the next few months & will hopefully be posting my willel fic soon!! you can find me on ao3 at kissacross (i do have my fics locked to ao3 users only sorry!!)

snippet of the wip you’re currently working on:

lil snippet from my willel fic!! it is a Gift so i don't wanna spoil too much hehe

tagging @likegoldintheair @thefabulousfab-3 @willelmikes & whoever else wants to!!!

[shortviolet]

btw i think it was you talking abt adia victoria right? i think i mentioned devil is a lie thinking abt Claudia, but ive also been listening to A Southern Gothic and Magnolia Blues has been stuck in my head all day! anyway i hope you're doing well and ty for the rec💕

YES IT WAS ME. I LOVE ADIA VICTORIA

I also think whole world knows fits Claudia perfectly, and you was born to die is kinda perfect for Louis. But also her songs are just amazing and her lyrics are so captivating, like, THIS is how you tell a story in an album. You're SO welcome.

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Skating on Thin Ice - Chapter 18 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Elijah Ellis

I reached for my cell-phone on the other side of my desk, my hand slightly trembling as I did so, and went to me recent calls.

My thumb hovered  over my mother's number and wavered before pressing down and calling her.

It only rang once before she picked up.

"Elijah?"

"Mom," I rasped, mentally punching myself for thinking this was a good idea.

"Have you decided to come home?" she asked in a hopeful voice.

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut so tight that I started seeing dots.

My mind was conflicted and there was a tug of war between my heart and brain, causing searing pain throughout my body.

My heart won and I answered.

"I've decided to come home to see you," I told her.

"To talk."

"Oh," she replied, sounding slightly disappointed but her mood picked back up.

"That's great. When will you be over?"

"Sunday afternoon," I replied.

I decided it was best that I picked the time, that way I would feel more in control of the situation despite actually feeling powerless.

"Will you be coming to church with us?"

I held back a scoff.

"No."

"I wish you would," she urged.

"No," I repeated.

"I'm not going there."

Mom let out a sigh.

"Fine," she relented.

"You can come to church some other time."

That wasn't likely to happen but I didn't want to argue with her about it any longer.

"I'll make you some lunch when you come over," Mom said after a few moments of silence.

"Okay."

"I'm glad you called," she told me with a content sigh.

"Yeah..." I trailed.

"I gotta go Mom."

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll see you Sunday," she replied.

I bid her a quick goodbye before hanging up the phone and I couldn't help the dreadful, squeezing feeling in the pit of my stomach, squeezing so tightly that it felt as though my stomach had shrunken to the size of my fist.

I hoped this wouldn't blow up in my face.

********

Wednesday night came too soon.

After hockey practice ended, Fox and I changed out of our hockey equipment and met Claudia, who was waiting for us on the bench.

"Fox," she called out as soon as we made our way back to the rink.

"I need your help tying these."

He rolled his eyes but walked over to her anyway, bending down on one knee and propping her skate up so he could lace and tie them.

I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my throat as I watched them.

"God, Claudia. When's the last time you even used these? The blades are fucking dull," Fox hissed in annoyance.

She smacked the side of his head.

"Don't yell at me."

"I'm not yelling, I'm just..."

"Just tie my skates," she interjected.

Fox muttered something under his breath but finished lacing and tying her skates anyway. Instead of watching them, I stepped out onto the ice and began gliding around the rink with my hands in my pockets.

I looked over at the bench and saw that Fox was standing on the ice, Claudia tightly holding onto his hand as he guided her.

The sight of them together caused an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

I looked down at my feet, shuffling my skates on the ice.

"Hey," Fox called out, causing me to look up and see him pulling Claudia along as she clung onto him for dear life.

"I'm not doing this all alone, get over here."

I sighed and skated over to the two of them with a sullen look on my face.

"No backing out," Fox shot at me, motioning for me to come closer.

Fox moved to let go of Claudia and she let out a shriek in protest.

"Claudia," Fox said in a warning tone.

"You can't let go of me," she exclaimed, gripping him tighter.

"Just stand on your own," he yelled back.

I was beginning to understand why the two of them weren't together anymore but that didn't make me feel any better.

Claudia finally let go of Fox and stood on her own, stumbling a bit as she tried to balance.

"Spread your feet more," Fox told her and she complied, screeching as she slid a little bit.

"Come forward."

Claudia held out her hands for me to take.

I let out a sigh and grabbed onto both of her hands, skating backwards so I could pull her along.

"You're never going to learn if you just have Elijah pull you around the ice," Fox sighed, following us.

"Leave me alone, you're so mean," Claudia shot back.

"Elijah is so much nicer."

I smirked over at Fox.

"Yeah, I'm nicer."

Fox stopped and watched us with an irritated look as we continued around the ice.

Claudia chuckled.

"He's so easy to tease."

"I know," I replied with a chuckle.

"So, you two dated and he never took you ice skating?"

Claudia threw her head back in laughter.

"Oh, he did but it was always a disaster."

"And he was sweet about it at first," she continued.

"But later in our relationship, we stopped going because he got annoyed at how bad I was."

She laughed again, not seeming bothered by talking about her relationship with Fox.

"Fox being sweet?" I joked, suddenly feeling slightly more comfortable around her.

"He can be very sweet," she confirmed.

"But he's also an ass. You know how he is."

"Are you going to actually skate or what?" Fox questioned, skating up quickly behind us and startling Claudia.

She jumped back but I held her up to prevent her from falling.

"You jerk," she shouted at him.

Fox just laughed and skated away.

Eventually, we got Claudia to skate on her own.

She wasn't great at it but after an hour or so we decided that was all we could teach her and Fox offered to drive me home.

********

"I called my mom last night," I randomly brought up as I sat in the passengers seat of his car.

"How did that go?" he asked, looking over at me as we still sat in the parking lot.

"Alright, I guess," I muttered.

"I'm going to see her on Sunday."

Fox nodded.

"That's good, right?"

I sighed and leaned my head back on the head rest.

"I don't know if it is."

"Hey," Fox grabbed my attention, reaching out to touch my leg.

I turned my head slightly to look at him.

"It'll be fine," he continued.

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"I don't know," I murmured, turning my head to look out the windshield.

"I guess I just really want this to work out, for her to accept me and I'm just worried that it won't."

"I think it's worth a shot," Fox consoled me.

"The worst she could do is kick you out of her house, again."

I looked over at Fox with a slightly amused look to see his teasing expression beaming back at me.

"I guess you're right."

"I am," he assured me.

"And if it all blows up, you can call me and I'll come get you."

I tried to hold back a smile but failed, my lips parting slightly to show my teeth.

"Thanks, Fox."

"Didn't I tell you, not to thank me?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

I just ignored him and shook my head with a laugh.

This friendship was beginning to feel more real than any other I ever had.

It caused a warmth in my chest that was so strong I bet it made my skin glow and for that, I was grateful.

[fynnlink]

Welcome back. Hope you and your family are doing okay again 🍀 getting sick around the holidays is the worstᵀᴹ

I'm happy to continue our discussion but it's also funny how long this thread is getting 😅

You 🤝 Me

12-20 episode seasons

In general less seasons but more episodes (AtlA's three books par exemple).

I personally don't like parts of the finale of AtlA (mainly the Deus Ex Lion Turtle and Pointy Rock of Destinyᵀᴹ but also the way they finish Aang's development) but I agree that Avatar is more successful in tying it's threads together but I feel the need to point out that Dragon Prince deals with more and more complex threads. I had similar issues with LoK (Not to disparage AtlA/LoK; if you like their ending that's great)

I agree Act 1 had far better and more consistent pacing but I largely blame season 4 (the worst season by far imo) for most of the issues with the two year timeskip. Season four felt off both in tone and pacing and as the titular Earth focused season failed to create or at least communicate in an interesting way information surrounding the Earth Arcanum. (Seeing what Terry can do in season 5 was far more interesting) The first three season were amazing in this regard but even S5 was far better at it for their respective Arcanum. Season four killed a lot of excitement and had one of the biggest viewer drop-offs of the series.

Most glaringly is the shift in tone, seemingly a step backwards from Season 3's more serious one. Fortunately they've coure corrected so the seties is serious without losing the humour at it's core.

In my opinion Season 4 failed to continue the story at a satisfactory pace and quality and all of Act 2 suffered for it. Basically season 5 in many ways felt like what season 4 should've been in terms of dealing with the world having moved on for two years offscreen.

The hiatus was terrible which also makes me less optimistic for the next. A seven year timejump feels risky too after the last timeskip's fallout/consequences. Especially since they'll either have the Tree-o (someone here had the idea to call Corvus, Terry and Soren this ans I love it) and Pyrrah fail at tracking down Pip!Harrow for seven years or we'll have another TtM situation.

I like them stepping away from Claudia for a bit to let her simmer with everything that just happened - Messy Father Daughter dynamic No.1 turning into Messy Father Daughter dynamic No.2 Startouch Edition ("I can help you" "No. I will not watch another Daughter die."😭😭😭😭) and Terry's "betrayal/abandonment" of her (not blaming Terry but Claudia will/has interpreted it this way, the Lissa Deception was not it guys) - but I'm hoping for a better continuation and more in depth explanation of what she's been up to this time (again the confines of the age rating so it made sense in S4 not to explicitly talk about it)

I know this post is a bit "no longer in Kansas" but I wanted to respond to your opening points as they were quite interesting.

Obviously no secondhand retelling/acount of what happened can be taken as gospel but since Aaravos himself says his goal is to destroy their "precious order" and we have seen him have little to no regard for harming relatively innocent people. (Him helping Viren assassinate the other human Rulers sans Aanya and King Ahling, him viewing Claudia only as an asset, him possessing and ultimately discarding Pharos, him trying to absorb/destroy Zym back in S3, etc). These are just the ones I could think of right now who at the time weren't active combatants or hadn't even personally harmed Aaravos. (Pharos is in the grey area).

And especially his Inversion of the Moon Nexus shows his main goal, as directly stated by him, is the destruction of the destined order of things not the active liberation or betterment of humanity or of any peoples in Xadia. Leola for example brought the humans the gift of primal magic (it's might even be her, at least in part, who was referred to by unicorns gifting humanity the first primal stones) and in Callum we see that humans could be capable of learning primal magic. Aaravos blinded/influenced by his grief and justified anger gave humanity Dark Magic, less as a means of true emancipation and more as a weapon against arcanum-born creatures/entities. Dark Magic is the easy answer/solution. In this he also endangered innocent beings as seen by humanity hunting unicorns to extinction.

Zubeia refers to it as "long-hidden treachery" that in my opinion, along with the image of the Orphan Queen holding the KoA (possibly unlocking his book as the people of Katolis vaguely know that the KoA is a "key to great power") hints at her finding out that Aaravos did something to Queen Aditi but not what. As this is Aaravos' first revealed offence directly against the Archdragons (since Aithne Solaire's fate while it happened earlier is only revealed later) this is what prompts them to take such active and "extreme" measures. Aaravos has already been involved in the politics of Xadia but now he has stepped out of line (from their perspective) by interfering with the Archdragons.

The way I read it no one knew the specifics of Aaravos "swallowing [Queen Aditi]" and he just confirmed to Khessa that 1) Aaravos did kill Aditi and he admitted it for the first time and 2) that he did so by consuming her; but they did suspect him. (This is 100% speculation I'm aware of that but it's just my interpretation) Zubeia says the Archdragons had to beat Aaravos at his own game, they had to plot and scheme which could very well include acting as if they had no idea of Aaravos' involvement and acting like he was still their ally.

But even if not for his involvement in Queen Aditi's disappearance Aaravos was imprisoned as he posed the not quite single but greatest threat to the Archdragons and their Reign. He had influenced the political landscape of all of Xadia, his "gift" had been what blinded Sol Regem and Aaravos as a Startouch Elf himself was at that point one of the few/only known entities to be able to mortally wound / kill an Archdragon by himself (Laurelion). Even Aaravos was surprised by Viren and Harrow being able to defeat Avizandum.

Also I'm not saying the Archdragons are an infallible or morally pure form of government or that their judgment is unbiased or objective but I also strongly oppose the idea that Aaravos' punishment was unjustified or excessive. (Again please don't assume that I'm trying to dictate that you cannot feel empathetic to him or that my opinion is "the right one" as it's just that, an opinion)

I think they are partially going for a "The Archdragons don't look down upon humanity as a whole but had to exile them since they pose a threat with Dark Magic" plotline but yes I agree that it's not well thought out. It feels very "a few bad apples not a rotting tree" and makes Sol Regem the only "bad" Archdragon. That is for example why I appreciate the differences between Khessa and Janai in dealing with and talking about Amaya and especially the more detailed plotline of Karim and the Sunfire EMPIRE as it makes the conflict and the entire story more realistic. And how Soren's story shows that dark magic isn't always used for evil. "Dark Magic = Pure Evil" is a painfully simplistic view in my opinion. (Soren's illness, Duren's starvation, even just the bits we know about Elarion, etc)

You're referring to this timeline right?

And yes the line calling Sol Regem the Dragon Prince is a change from / in contradiction to previously stated lore. I think it has been in the works for a long time however as now multiple promotional posters framing Zym in the shadow or in opposition of Sol Regem have gained extra meaning.

(Tiny sidenote since I don't remember, when is Aaravos referred to as one of the last Great Ones? Is it in the series or other material? Just think it's interesting, thanks)

I really like your theory likening the Startouch Elves' influence to that of the church/clergy during the middle ages. But if Sol Regem himself later on or one of his parents during Leola's time was the one singular/highest Regent in Xadia and especially since he heralds from the strongest (military) force at the time, The Sunfire Kingdom, any overt action against Sol Regem especially until he was older could very well lead to a split between the more faithful and the ones loyal to their regent.

Who should Aaravos turn to to influence them against the King or Prince of all of Xadia. Involvement of any other Archdragon would only be seen as an attempt for the throne and there's no higher authority to turn to as Sol Regem held the highest position in Xadia and the Startouch Elves already ruled in hid favour or rather in concert with his opinion regarding Leola's actions. No matter who Aaravos might try to turn or ask for help Sol Regem could quite easily explain/defend his position and the human up until Ziard had not enough power. Aaravos could've attacked Sol Regem alone but even if he had won he could never escape the consequences and would've been branded a traitor much earlier.

He would have had to unite multiple parts of Xadia's population against Sol Regem but on what grounds? Sol Regem was witness to Leola's actions and relayed them to the relevant "authorities". It was the Startouch Elves who judged Leola and it wasn't even against their or Xadia's laws.

(This is not me justifying their judgment as no matter whether Leola broke their laws what she did wasn't morally reprehensible and the punishment was unjust and cruel especially because she was a child. I'm just focusing on the fact that Aaravos would have had a hard time convincing anyone "useful" of his position in this.)

So it was confirmed to be "young" Aaravos, nice I hadn't heard about that.

Yup they had planned a 3-3-1 split which would've made more sense if S7 had actively focused more on Dark Magic

wait a fucking minute...

We still don't know why and how Aaravos was imprisoned.

And what exactly his beef with Sol Reg and the other archdragons was about.

And what his relationship was with the Orphan Queen.

Oh yeah! And also his relationship with Ziard... and city of Elarion...

DID THEY JUST KILL HIM WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION?

I'M SO PISSED OFF

[whats-her-quirk]

I would like a tall order of, uhh, a number 5, on the rocks with Oikawa? x Congrats on ALL THE FOLLOWERS and MORE!

a/n: I’m writing this one first because Claudia is in a different time zone and she’s my soulmate who always supports me AND she deserves the honor of my first ever HQ smut. ILY FOREVER.

"Get on your knees.” x tooru oikawa

cw: smut, nsfw, blowjobs, slight choking but not?, bondage but not?, idk

Oikawa removed his glasses, folded them, and set them down on the table next to the door. You followed him inside, your hand grasping for his even though he just dropped his grip on you since the second you got in the cab. You’d gone out for a lovely dinner with friends to celebrate Iwa’s birthday, but now you were back in your shared apartment, and all the lights were still off as Oikawa started undoing the buttons on the sleeve of his dress shirt.

“Close the door, angel,” he cooed as you, his tone saccharine sweet yet somehow still nonchalant. You did as he asked before looping your arms around his chest from behind and pressing your cheek to his back. You hadn’t been able to stop touching him all night.

Maybe it was seeing your boyfriend all dressed up for the occasion, or the luxurious atmosphere of the restaurant Iwaizumi chose. Maybe it was the way Oikawa lit up and laughed around his oldest friends from high school, or maybe you were just in a mood. Either way, you’d been desperate for him since he held you by the small of your back on the way out the door to dinner.

Oikawa slid deftly out of your arms before you could pull him any tighter. He rolled up his sleeves to the elbow, creasing the expensive fabric that would need to be dry cleaned to flatten out the wrinkles, and put his hands on his hips, highlighting the bulge in his dress pants you could just barely see in the streetlight filtering in through the window. Oikawa tilted his head to the side and tutted at you. “What’s gotten into you tonight, baby?”

You brought a fist to your mouth and bit your knuckle. You wanted him so badly, so much your body took over instead of your mind. You shook your head, as if to say, “I don’t know.”

Oikawa fiddled with his belt until it was undone, the heavy silver buckle dangling from his hand. “You’ve been so naughty, angel. Touching me under the table, nibbling my ear while the others weren’t looking, trying to slide your hand between my legs in the taxi.” In the dimly lit room, he took a calculated step toward you, every movement of his putting a hitch in your breath and tightening the coil in your core.

With his free hand, Oikawa easily undid the button on his pants. “Well, now it’s your fault I have this little problem, so you’re going to have to fix it.” He nodded down to his crotch, a cheeky smirk spreading across his face. He took another step closer. “Get on your knees.”

You dropped immediately to the wooden floor, your hands trailing down his sides and coming to rest on his thighs on either side of your head. His erection was staring you directly in the face, but before you could pull down his zipper, you felt leather around your neck. Oikawa’s belt.

“What are you waiting for, angel?” he taunted you, one fist holding the belt around the back of your neck. 

You pulled his zipper down so desperately, you ripped it by the seam from his pants. Pushing the waistband of his briefs down, you freed his aching cock and immediately started pressing kisses to the head. Oikawa kept your chin pointed up by holding the belt tight, not tight enough to choke you but taut enough to control the movement of your head, but you fought against it to wrap first your tongue and then your lips around his length. He sighed and let his hips dip closer to you.

You shifted your knees to get comfortable on the floor, moaning every time you took him deeper into your throat. A sharp snap of his hips and you gagged around him, but you weren’t giving up. You hollowed your cheeks and sucked down hard on his cock, running your tongue on the underside where you knew he was the most sensitive until you felt the familiar shaking in his abs and thighs that signalled he was about to finish. With your fingers squeezing into his thighs, you relaxed as much as you could to pull him farther in, as far as you possible could handle, and drew shapes with your tongue as tears sprung to your eyes. With a sputtering moan, Oikawa spilled into your mouth, and you swallowed every drop.

Oikawa, gasping for breath, tossed his belt aside and dropped down on his knees in front of you on the floor. He put a finger under your chin, pointing your eyes up to meet his. “Good girl,” he whispered.

[maidenofartemis]

Starry Night

Feliz año nuevo everyone, although I am a few days late. This was a request that I took from @and-claudia, I just kept getting too nervous to post. 😅

I hope you all enjoy, if you notice any errors please let me know as english is my second language. 😊

Lunch time was a fairly boring affair that day for the members of the Hellfire Club, it came with the usual teasing from the basketball team, sneers from some of the cheerleaders, and teachers assigning exorbitant amounts of work close to the weekend. 

Only for the peace to be shattered as a heavy book was slammed on the lunch table and startling all of the boys that had been eating. 

“Did any of you hear that the Voyager 2 is soon to complete its journey in the Uraniun system and will soon be heading to the Neptunian system as we speak?” (Y/N) asked excitedly, pulling out pages from her backpack and showing the various notes that she had on the aforementioned subject. 

While Eddie watched his girlfriend adoringly, he listened as attentively as he could to her ramblings about the possibilities that came with learning more about the planetary systems that were so far away from their own. Since they first got to know one another, it was apparent to not just Eddie but to the entire group that (Y/N) had a deep fascination for learning anything about the stars, planets, and anything that related to space. 

It was small snippets of facts and the occasional mention of something related to astronomy in the beginning, before she eventually became comfortable to ask the group if they would ever mind her talking about her favorite subject. The moment everyone gave their approval was like the floodgates had been left open and she frequently would bring up the topic about her absolute favorite subject. 

Soon enough, the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. 

Eddie teasingly bowed to (Y/N) and offered to take her backpack, “It would be the greatest honor if you would give me the chance to walk you back to your class m’lady.” 

“Then I shall bestow the honor, my beloved knight” she giggled. “But we must make haste, I would not dare make you late to your next class.” 

“For you, my love, I would be late to every one of my classes.” 

Letting Eddie lead her towards her next class, (Y/N) held onto him and gently bumped her hip against him. 

“Hey sunshine?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, moon pie.” 

“Want to go on a date with me tomorrow?” 

She looked up at him with a furrowed brow, “Moon pie, you do know that we’re dating, right?” 

“I know that, I just wanted to know if you’re free tomorrow night for a date.” 

“Oh, well yeah.” She said, “I don’t work tomorrow and should be free all of tomorrow.” 

“Great! Then I’ll pick you up at 7, be dressed in your most cozy outfit.” 

With a quick kiss, Eddie dropped her off at her class and walked away with a skip in his step. 

——

The following evening, Eddie knocked on his girlfriend’s at precisely 7 o’clock. A bouquet of flowers that he had picked while on his drive to her house, held gingerly in his hands. 

“Ready to be swept off your feet?” 

She giggled as she accepted the bouquet, “Again? The amount of times that you sweep me off my feet, I might as well let you carry me all the time.” 

“If I had the strength for it, then I would carry you everywhere and have you with me all the time.” 

Her face warmed in embarrassment, “Okay, okay. Where are you taking me?” 

“That’s for me to know and you to make a guess, because I am going to cover your eyes with a bandanna and you will find out when we get there.” 

She looked at him skeptically, “You better drive us there carefully. I will wind up with motion sickness if I can’t see where we are going.” 

“I have a feeling that it will be worth it, just watch!” 

Turning around, she let him begin tying it around her eyes. 

“I won’t be able to watch anything! But I trust you moon pie, now take me!” 

“That’s for another night, this will be something else!” 

Eddie guided her carefully out the door and into his van (which later he realized sounded a little bit sketchy) before carefully driving them further and further away from Hawkins. The occasional moments of silence filled with the music riffs from his favorite groups. 

After a bit of a drive, he finally pulled to a stop and softly tapped on her thigh, “You can take the bandanna off sweetheart.” 

When she did, (Y/N) let out a soft gasp and tearily smiled. 

She could see that he had set up a couple of pallets, some fluffy pillows and what looked like a cozy blanket. He had driven them to the hills a fair distance from Hawkins, making the night sky clearer for them to see.  

“I figured that my very own star, should have the best view of the stars that she talks about so often” Eddie said sheepishly. 

Giddily she pulled Eddie closer and kissed him softly, pouring as much of her love into the kiss as she could. 

“Thanks moon pie,” she whispered. “I think this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, really.” 

Eddie took that moment to step out of the van and walk around to open her door, “Come on sunshine.” 

Once more she let her boyfriend lead her and he lovingly fluffed up the pillows and bundled the blanket around her. 

“Tonight’s your night, sunshine” Eddie smiled. “Tell me, what are we watching?” 

(Y/N) grinned, “Well moon pie. We should have a clear view of the northern celestial hemisphere…..”

And as Eddie listened with a dreamy sigh, he could practically picture many more starry nights like these in the future but maybe one day, with a curly haired cherub listening intently beside him. 

[princessofthewicked]

KINGDOM OF THE FEARED SPOILERS

Alright so, Kerri really focused on Wrath and Emilia, the curse, Vittoria and the revelations and tying of knots.

The plot was something I hope more books would have (reccos pleasee) ones with demons, witches, past lives, reincarnations and fantasy stuff. THAT was what captured me when reading KOTF because I can't really find good books that have those sort of plots without being boring.

There was world building, a lot of descriptions about the place, the dresses and the designs of where the events were set in so the majestic-ness of the room was emphasized.

Kerri's writing style was nice but I did rush over some paragraphs because I feel like those are slowing me down from getting the right pieces of the story together.

I LOVED the characters. Their backstories, their goals, the actions that they made to achieve them, and how no one really is "good" as all of them did quite terrible (sometimes understandable, other times not) things. I was drawn with the reincarnation / past life part just because I really wanted to know why Emilia and Vittoria were having these powers and whatnot. Safe to say, I was greatly satisfied with what Kerri delivered.

BUT, I feel like we were robbed of the backstory and more scenes of all the Houses interacting. House Vengeance included. I am sooo interested in the dynamics of the Princes and the twins because they all are so powerful and I wanna know more about their manipulative and bitchy sides.

Also, them combining forces would be something that would destroy enemies in an instant but would, show how vital they each are in proceeding with their goals.

Next, I also want to get more scenes of the First Witch and Pride. I want a scene with Claudia and Pride even if Claudia chooses not to remember and Pride would just (at least) let her live the life that she has now, without letting her remember their past. (because it was partly his fault that she's miserable)

Overall, this book really answered a lot of my questions (pretty early in the book) that rose after reading KOTC. Kerri dropped a lot of hints throught the books so some "discoveries" about the characters, I pretty much guessed already before the truth was revealed. (still kept me wanting and unmasking more though)

The spice, was nice. *chef's kiss*

Honorable mention to WRATH's WINGS (that I beg artists to make fanarts of; I imagine it looking somehow like the wings in the Fallen movie but more metallic and solid; I am a SUCKER for wings) and to the coat of arms / logo of House Vengeance, hi to you too, I want you.

That's pretty much a cool review of KOTF from me and if you asked me if I would recommend it? Yes. Definitely. Now that all three books are out you can definitely devour them and I don't think they would bore you out. So, it's a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ read!

[raayllum]

i feel like a way Rayla could realise her self sacrifice issue was bad was if she put herself in danger to save someone and it was all in vain and she ended up injured for nothing and callum’s yelling at her is a wake up call

thoughts?

The tricky thing about Rayla - and indeed why I think her issues are so like, persistent - is because it wouldn't surprise if the scenario you've laid out above is exactly what happened to her during the timeskip to evoke the "We can't save everyone, there's too much at stake" reaction to the drake, and if anything it just made her Worse off, instead

Cause I feel like in a situation like that, Rayla would just internalize it as "I failed to protect them because I'm not good enough," and not necessarily "I need to stop biting off more than I can chew and let people help me" / that she's worthy of that sort of help. Cause self worth issues like Rayla tends to rest on an inherent belief that there's something Wrong with her. Not just with what she does, but inherently with what she is, that she's fundamentally flawed in a way that other people just Aren't. It's not a belief based on reality and is far from fair, but it is an exceedingly common one

We actually kind of see this perfectly illustrated in 1x08, in which both the boys 'mess up' to a degree, and Rayla reassures them back to back

Callum: Ugh. I'm sorry my plan was a mess! Rayla: Nah, your plan was fine! Our execution was a little off. Ezran: I'm so sorry I messed up the plan. Rayla: Ah, you should cut yourself a break. Everyone messes up sometimes.

And then later that very same episode, when Ezran tries to offer Rayla some reassurance/leeway, and Callum in 1x09 reiterates that it's not her fault, Rayla initially steamrolls over both of them and fully over Callum trying to assuage her guilt: "That shouldn't have mattered. I had a job to do" / "No, I should have trusted you. Things only went wrong because we kept fighting." "I let you both down. I let the world down."

Because, according to Rayla, she messes up all the time, and kinda believes she always will. She doesn't really think she can free the dragon and make it out alive, which is probably what it would take for a mission to be deemed 'successful' (and is very Runaan "sacrifice" of her). She doesn't really think she's going to come back after leaving in TTM, either ("I wish I could say that we'll see each other again, but I don't know. I hope so").

She's the assassin and the protector who can't successfully protect anyone. She's the one who spent two years searching for Viren and Claudia and got defeated enough to eventually come home, only to realize they really were out there and she just couldn't find them. She couldn't catch the pouch containing her parents' coins; she couldn't keep Callum safe. She's the defect. The traitor, the liar. The Ghost. The mistake.

So like, what does Rayla need to realize then?

That she can succeed and won't inevitably fail (may be achieved by successfully saving Callum, emotionally/physically, from Aaravos' brainwashing)

That even if she does fail, it's okay and it's okay for her to make a mistake (arguably the more important one) and that she doesn't have to Punish herself for them (or anyone else's mistakes) either

That not everything, even her failures, are universally her fault, and learning to distinguish between her failures, mistakes, and things that couldn't be helped either way

That it is okay, if anything better, for her to accept help and to lean on other people, and that it's okay (even if it's not ideal) for them to want to protect her

Tying into that, regardless of whether she succeeds or fails, she has worth and is worthy of love - that she doesn't have to and shouldn't have to do everything alone

That it is okay to stay and want things for herself

She's got a long road ahead, clearly, but I am confident that she can get there. I always have been, ever since S1 began to show the fractures, and S3 blew them wide open, and I cannot wait to get to see her start healing

[kiatheinsomniac]

1. I LOVE your writing! You're amazing! 2. If it's not too much trouble, could I request something where Ezio's wife is feeling quite insecure because she feels like she isn't as good as some of the other women Ezio has "been" with like Caterina and Ezio is trying to assure her that she shouldn't feel like that

Of course!! Sorry that it's taken me so long to get round to this, I've hardly been active on Tumblr at all in quite a while but I miss it here :(

She glanced over to where the Contessa was being checked over by a doctor while Ezio worriedly looked over her. Deep down, she knew that he was only concerned because she was a powerful ally to the brotherhood and her arrest at the hands of the Borgia had put her contribution to that alliance in jeopardy. But she couldn't help but fear that he was worried because they had a history together.

Claudia had told (Y/n) enough of what her husband was like in his youth - romancing every attractive woman he laid eyes on. On good days, this made her feel special - she were the one he married, after all - but on worse ones, it made her worry that he felt he could do better and go back to some of these women. Ezio was a faithful man, especially when it came to family, but this didn't stop her from worrying that she may not quite reach what he's been treated to by other women in his past.

She must have been glaring a little too hard though, because soon enough, Claudia was by her side, her arms folded.

"The woman is fine, I have a meeting to attend and he’s holding it up to fuss over her.” She snapped in disdain, her voice lowered as to not carry across the stone walls of Isola Tiberina’s Assassin hideout. 

“I don’t like it.” (Y/n) confessed, her eyes shooting daggers at the Contessa of Forli. Claudia raised a brow at the acid in her tone, finding it so unlike her sister-in-law to be so bitter. Glancing over at Claudia’s expression of surprise, she stepped her way out of the conversation to go and fetch Ezio. He had duties as Mentor of the Brotherhood and she had the claws of jealousy tying knots at her like a marionette. Emotions were something personal to (Y/n) and she wouldn’t watch herself become a wreck over some half-disgraced woman who had lost hold of her city. 

She could remember Ezio telling her how impressed he was to see a woman running a city all on her lonesome once... 

She cleared her throat, dismissing the thought as she did.

“Ezio, our contacts are waiting for you.” She spoke up, her face and voice the mask of business to hide her feelings. 

“Sì, I just-” 

“Bartolomeo has barracks to attend to, Volpe has a tavern to maintain and Claudia has a brothel to run.” She cut him off, watching as he turned his head quickly to face her, his expression a lock of shock and offence, “While they wait for you, their factions wait for them. You keep our entire Brotherhood on hold in a most dire hour to fuss over the Contessa who I’m sure if capable enough of getting her own health in order with the medico.” Ezio had stood now from Caterina’s side, bewildered at his wife’s ill temper. 

“Amore-“

“You have a job to do so go do it!” She snapped, “I have recruits to attend to and correspondence to deal with.” And with that said, she stormed off to the study in order to deal with the letters sent from the Brotherhood’s contacts across Italia. 

She set the few recruits that she had gathered in Roma some training assignments and filed through all the available contracts in the Mediterranean, even going as far as to reorganise all the books of the study’s library. All of this was done to avoid going to bed, knowing that Ezio would be there and knowing that he wold ask her about her attitude from earlier. 

It was when she was obsessively trying to get the paperweights in position that the door opened. In stepped the last man that she was willing to face in that moment: her poor husband who had suffered the brunt of her lashing out in jealousy. 

“Gioia,” He began, his tone soft yet cautious, “come to bed.” 

“But I need to sort these out…”

“I’m sure that the papers won’t grow wings and start flying any time soon.” He walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder and inhaling deeply as he pressed his face to her neck, “Come, I want to hold you and talk.” 

“I just need...” She obsessively tried to get the weight to fit between the lines of the letter perfectly, some part of her mind telling her that everything would be alright if all these little things were exactly where they needed to be, that she wouldn’t have to talk about her feelings if she just got these other things sorted out first. 

“You need to lay down with your husband,” One of his palms splayed across her stomach, tenderly rubbing up and down as his other hand caressed her waist, “and let him hold you in his arms,” A soft kiss pressed to the nape of her neck, “and tell him all about what has you so stressed. Doesn’t that sound good?”

“Yeah, except the talking about my feelings bit.” She mumbled as the weight refused to quite fit between the lines, tears pricking her eyes, even if she tried to laugh a little. Ezio hummed knowingly. 

“Come on…”

“Ok...” She surrendered, letting him lead her upstairs with one arm around her waist while his free hand held her own, smaller, hand in his. 

He lead her up to their room where he began to strip her of her clothes that day, leaving her in a chemise. He frowned in sadness at her apathy, the way she didn’t melt into his touches as she usually would, and worry set into his veins. 

He pulled her to the bed where he lay beside her, propped up on one elbow while she laid on her back, her bottom lip trembling, eyes glassy and jaw held tight in determination to keep a cool composure. 

“What has upset you?”

“It’s stupid.” She replied simply, “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you or worried you, you don’t deserve that.” She took in a quick breath and covered her face with her hands, a small sob escaping her lips, each one that followed like a pair of scissors to his heartstrings. 

“If it’s making you feel this way, it can’t be stupid.” He rested a hand on her arm and she turned away from him, her hand gripping the case of the pillow under her head impossibly tightly. 

“It’s the Contessa.” She mumbled into the plush pillow, her cheeks already heating up in humiliation, “The way you risked your life to save her today and then you were fussing over her health and...” 

“Amore, you know that I would do all the same and more for you.” He spoke, almost in disbelief that this is what she was so upset about. There was a long silence as she wrapped her arms around her torso, hoping that somehow she could physically hold herself together with her arms. 

“Why did you marry me?” Fresh tears wet her cheeks and she muffled the sound of her crying in the sheets. He drew closer to her and held her in his arms, feeling her frame jolt with each sob. 

“Because I’m in love with you.” He replied simply, “I’m in love with the way you see the world and people, I’m in love with your passion and humour and intelligence.” He squeezed her tightly. 

“But you could have had any woman you pleased, any woman you’ve been with before. The countess of Forli: the only woman strong enough to run her own city and even fend off Borgia armies.” She hesitated but now that she had bottled up such strong emotions all day, the glass had cracked and no one could hold in its contents lest they slice their hands on the glass. “And don’t think I didn’t overhear that night back in Monteriggioni when I was still just the decipherer Leonardo had sent for the codex pages.” 

Once upon a time, this would have been a time for Ezio to be boastful, but now that he was a married man, he only felt rather embarrassed instead. Looking away for a moment, his eyes came back to land upon his wife. 

“You worry that you don’t live up to the women I’ve had before then?” He asked cautiously, knowing that this question may well only make things far worse if he were wrong. 

“She’s a fucking countess who runs her own city and has her own armies, not to mention the fact that she’s also very clearly good in bed. Who am I? The goddamn babysitter of all the recruits.” She threw her hands up in the air before rolling onto her back and turning her head to face him, at last, with teary eyes. 

“You, amore mio,” He began, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek, turning his body even more so in her direction, “are the woman who stole my heart so quickly, that I simply couldn’t wait to marry you.” It was true, they had only been seeing each other for just over 18 months when he asked her to marry him. “You’re an Assassin who is fighting for everyone in Roma and then all of Italia behind her borders.” A conviction began to grow within his voice as he took up her left hand in his, holding it up so that she could see her wedding and engagement rings. “You are the only woman in this world that I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He brought her hand up to place a kiss upon her knuckles. “I have had histories with women before, we both know this… But they are the past and you,” He leaned down to place a soft kiss upon her lips, lingering and tender, “are my future.” 

A small smile quivered upon her lips as fresh tears welled in her eyes, tears of an overwhelming sentiment of love. 

“I love you with all my heart, Ezio.”