#TRAFFIC

[leahberman]

valley girl; studio city, california

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[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[viejospellejos]

Game over

[pixel8or]

[oakyadair]

something about the way etho types in chat is so endearing

[starcrossedandstupid]

This is what true love is. Just btw

[great-and-small]

I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic today and looked up to see some strangely inspiring dirty truck finger graffiti

Was kind of deeply meaningful to me tbh

[scipunk]

Angel Cop (1989)

[nightvaleofficial]

Traffic report: Glowing hieroglyphs emerging through all road signs. Drivers advised to obey whatever ancient traffic laws they represent.

[olailamajnoon]

The Batmobile is stuck in traffic.

Dick: what the hell. I remember when we used to zoom past these babies. Now we're moving at three miles an hour?!!

Bruce: get used to it.

The Batmobile inches forward amid traffic lights and horns.

Tim: it's due to the population explosion and the abandoned construction projects. I wrote a paper on — AAAEEEE!!

Dick and Bruce immediately turn in alarm to the back seat, where Damian and Jason have pinned Tim between them and are poking him with pencils.

Bruce: Damian! Stop stabbing Tim with a pencil.

Damian: Father, tell Drake to return my sandwiches.

Tim: I can't return them you moron, I ate them and they were great. Just to let you know.

Damian: They were truffle and foie gras sandwiches from my private stash!

Tim: And they were delicious. Every bite. Even the crusts...AAAAEEEE!!

Bruce, turning around: Enough, Damian! Jason, you're not being a good role model for your brother.

Jason: you always tell me to lead by example. *pokes Tim again*

Tim: save me Bruce. *sniffles*

Meanwhile people are taking videos of the Batmobile, leaning out of their car windows and doors, holding up their phones. Stephanie flips them off while Dick waves.

Stephanie: What is it with some people.

Jason: They're peasants. Weak-minded leftovers of evolution, clinging to the illusion of safety in their tin cans on wheels. Prey. Otherwise called "civilians".

They all turn to look at him.

Jason: what? They're flimsy, soft creatures. I am their nightmare.

Dick: You’re stuck in traffic, Jay.

They moved ahead a little bit, then stopped again. A random driver decided he would have some fun.

Hey, Bat-dorks! Use your grappling hooks or something!

Stephanie: That's it. I’m giving him the bird for all of us.

Damian: Father I do not believe the word "dork" is a complimentary term in this context. He deserves to be taught a lesson.

Jason: Let's grapple his bumper.

Bruce: No.

Dick: you know what, I miss the days of the Bat-packs. It's what I call—

Tim, Damian, Stephanie and Jason, chorus: The Bat-jetpack. We know.

Dick: I wonder what happened to them.

Tim: They just disappeared one day, didn't they? From the cave?

Bruce: Things don't just disappear. Alfred happens to them.

Stephanie: *wipes sweat off her forehead* I'd kill Damian for a jetpack right about now.

Damian: I'd kill you for free.

Bruce: No one's killing anyone. I just got these seats re-upholstered.

Tim: *grabs pencil in his hand like a weapon, brandishing it at Damian* I'll pay for my damages.

Bruce: Is this what my kids are like all the time?

Dick: *pats Bruce on the shoulder awkwardly* The traffic has made them feral, Bruce.

[the-night-picture-collector]

/ Ralph Crane, Los Angeles, 1959

[opendirectories]

[ecoharbor]

📍Iceland 🇮🇸

[crazygnomenclature]

This one is for my Twin Cities peeps out there. As a proud Minnesotan I have no idea how the zipper merge works and have no intention of learning. /s

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[oakyadair]

THEY WERE FUCKING WITH US BY CHANGING THEIR SKINS !! I KNEW IT !!

transcript:

grian: (referring to skizz and impulse) well you guys know about this. we all put our zombie skins on at random times to throw you off the scent of who would win cuz we all know you're lurking tryna find out who changed their skin

skizz: yeah

impulse: yup, toying with the audience that we know are watching, what- namemc? to see what skins are getting changed trying to figure out what's going on whilst we're recording. yeah we threw you off the scent a little bit.