#THREADS!

[odinsblog]

“Their immense talent will no doubt be of great use elsewhere.”

And ofc, now Elon the big crybaby is threatening to sue Meta, because the people who he wrongly terminated are working for Meta.

What’s the saying? Karma’s only a bitch if you are 🤭

Not to mention, Elon flagrantly broke severance agreements when he fired them, so former Twitter employees are suing Phony Stark for half a billion dollars, and I hope they win.

[eyeofprovidence]

"LOOK, KID, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND – I NEED MY COFFEE TO BE TWO HUNDRED AND TEN DEGREES. NINETY-NINE CELSIUS. ALMOST HOT ENOUGH TO BOIL BUT NOT QUITE. THE PERFECT TEMP!" a scattered chorus of groans echoes behind him, but his gaze remains attached on the barista, deep bags hung beneath his eyes. "LOOK!" he flashes a badge from his pocket, noting access to evermore's local lab. "I'M A SCIENTIST. I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT."

head tilting to the closest waiting customer, bill looks to them expectantly, brows raised. "HAVE YOU HAD COFFEE AT TWO-TEN BEFORE? YOU'D GET IT IF YOU HAD. IF OUR LOCAL BARISTA COOPERATES, I'LL EVEN LET YOU TRY IT! BUT YOU GOTTA CHUG!"

[edsrosetattoo]

This is the best idea in the history of film.

[soracities]

"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

[victusinveritas]

[the-occasional-mishap]

I was going to embroider a rose or something in the corner of this handkerchief, but then I realized I could do a wizard, so obviously I did a wizard.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i read the cutest reddit thread today where this 19 yo boy was “babysitting” his 15 yo little sister while his parents were away on vacation and she got this horrific period and needed to be taken to the ER.

and this sweet 19 yo boy was doing all he could to take care of her, giving her meds and water and then packing stuff up to go to the hospital once reddit was like “yeah if she’s soaking two tampons in an hour you should go” - but being only a little older than a child himself, he didn’t know what to pack, so he brought like three things, and one of them was SUNSCREEN.

lmao everyone on reddit was like “you’re a really good brother but sunscreen?? for the hospital??” lmao they are roasting him. also op’s sister changed his name in her phone to “spf” and their dad calls him “bananaboat” now. this guy is never living this down

(also his sister is ok and it turns out their family has some kind of genetic blood disorder)

[spookberry]

Its past their bedtime

[faranae]

I love Reddit sometimes.

[hoshizoralone]

fitness girlies

[mens-rights-activia]

[eyeofprovidence]

@dbldipper

dipper can run as much as he'd like, but he can't hide – not from the nightmares that will catch up to him regardless of how much he may attempt to delay sleep. all those years ago, ford did the same in his desperate attempts to avoid being possessed – it's funny how the "smart" pines twins ("smart" and "pines" being paradoxical, really) can be so stupid.

and so, upon dipper falling asleep, just like every night he failed to avoid sleep in the months before, bill is there. not physically yet, no, instead, he offers a scene he's been waiting for –

a sky set ablaze, creatures with their flesh turned inside out howling unnatural noises, humans with shuffled features frozen in terror... the chaos he's been prophesied to bring for a billion years, and he will, even if it means millennia more of trying.

peer a little closer, and the star of the nightmare will realize the figures surrounding him are all friends:

his sister, melted in a frozen puddle, dozens of eyes scattered throughout her malformed statue, dripping with tears as four hands reach towards dipper.

his uncles, twin faces melded together in frozen terror, with a misshaped crown of six severed fingers.

then his parents, wendy, nearly every resident of gravity falls (among the few friends he held back home), each D̴̡̫̜͊I̴͚̊͒̎̈́͠S̵̡̺͖̓͑͝͝T̴̥̃̄͒͌̿Ö̵̖́́́̃R̴̜̳̣̈́͌͐T̵̨̤̮̫́Ę̵̘̹̭̯̾̔̀͐D̶̺̓̆ yet undoubtedly, them.

and after dipper has a long moment to reunite with his friends and family, bill appears behind him – this time, in the human figure he's been forced to inhabit in evermore, sitting upon another statue: one of dipper himself, but with too many limbs and a face devoid of any features, bleeding eyes and screaming lips and burning nose spilt on the flaming ground beside him.

"... MISS ME?"

[itsliyahhbih]

Fat nuggets’ thread 🩷🖤

[ahotknife]

i will never stop being 6 years old and lonely. i will never stop being 11 years old and lonely. i will never stop being 19 years old and lonely. i will never stop

[troythecatfish]