#THOMAS PLEASE

[frostbeees]

[captainaudax]

thomas i love you. i would never say anything bad about you ever BUT

[bookwyrminspiration]

THOMAS BEHIND YOU!! THOMAS THEYRE COMING FOR YOU!! oh my god he has AirPods in he can’t hear us THOMAS!!

[carnicer01]

Turns out I'm still alive

[heureuxvivant]

Now streaming on fir free in Tubi! RIP Cloris Leachman.

[flyinggraysonz]

All of the bats have just a little bit of fang, their canines are just a little longer and sharper than a normal persons.

it’s not terribly noticeable but you can tell with the way their canines sink into food far before any of their other teeth touch it.

or the way Dick’s stand out just a little bit extra when he flashs a toothy smile to paparazzi

or how Tim uses his to shotgun a red bull before a long night

or how Duke accidentally gnawed a permanent split into his lip during post-patrol debrief

or when Damian bit Dick during a training exercise and now he has two spots on his forearm

or that time Wally cut his tongue open while making out with Dick

no one knows why, or how, because most of bruce’s kids are adopted so it can’t be genetic. it’s just the product of being a bat.

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Jason hitting the panic button in his sleep cuz he was still in his uniform and rolled over but because he’s in one of his safe houses the signal is all messed up and the Batfam is in chaos trying to find him but Jason is just “zzzz” the whole time

[thefriendlyneighborhoodqueer]

sometimes i think about how funny it would be if bruce had a slight english accent as a result of alfred being the only adult in his life for most of his formative years. that or he just says british slang instead of english.

this either drives his children insane, or they think it’s the most hilarious thing ever.

__________________________

Bruce: Can you pass the chips?

Dick: Sure, B. *passes over the potato chips*

Bruce: No, the chips.

Dick: ???? … yeah? here?

Bruce: NO! THE CHIPS! *gesturing wildly for the french fries*

Damian: Father, are you having a stroke?

———

Batman: Alright, this mission is very important. It is imperative that everything goes to schedule. (shh-edule)

*red robin and red hood snicker*

Batman: *glare* As I was saying, it all must go to shh-edule…

RR & RH : *uproariously laughter *

Batman: *harsher glare* Is something funny?

RR: Oh nothing, B, don’t worry.

RH: Absolutely nothing wrong, “left-tenant”

RR & RH: *dying of laughter *

———

Bruce: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Duke: … You sound like Alfred…

Bruce: *horrified look over coming him* … what

Cass: *furious nodding*

*Some time later, after B has been fished out of Gotham Harbor, which he jumped into after declaring that he “couldn’t turn into his father”*

Alfred: *reaching the end of a long rant about responsibility and making sure you are keeping yourself and others safe* And what do you have to say for yourself??

Bruce: *white as a sheet* … Sorry Alfie…

*Steph is heard furiously cackling in the background*

_______________________

anyways i just thought this was fun

[hehether]

Batboys Disney Princess edition

[abisalli]

A Robin lineup of sorts :) (sorry for no Carrie, Maps or Matthew... I was tired)

[storja-historja]

[bruciemilf]

As a reward for helping with a problem, John Constantine wants to give Bruce a chance to talk to his parents. “I can only do one at a time, thought, so, who’s first?”

Bruce sweats, “That won’t be necessary.”

The batkids watch like ??? they’ve seen Bruce in every state a man could succumb and raise, but they’ve never seen him scared. Alfred calmly steps forward, “Please do.”

“No. Don’t.”

John “I don’t want peace, I want trouble, always” Constantine smells some opportunity for chaos and grabs it.

The result of that is the very angry spirit of Thomas Wayne fixing Bruce with the glare of the year, “You dropped oUT OF MED SCHOOL?!” The entire mansion seems to tremble.

Bruce yelps like a scolded cat and runs around the dining table, “I was busy with BATMAN—“

“ Che cazzo è un Batman, — Get back here! You were there a year, — Che cazzo fai, CHE CAZZO FAI?! Pack your bags, you’re going back.”

To the batkids’ absolute horror Bruce starts to cry, face watery and bright, and they finally understand what Alfred meant by tantrums. “Non voglio tornare indietro, papà!”

“Non mi interessa, cazzo, — wait till your mother hears about this, Harley graduated with HONORS. What exemple are you giving to my grandkids? Don’t — Don’t run, GET BACK HERE!”

Tim sweats in high school dropout, Dick sweats in cop, Jason sweats in drug lord, Damian sweats in art kid, and Stephanie just sweats in general.

“Should, uh… Should we help?”

“Are you kidding? I haven’t seen Jason this happy since the Queen died.”

[tiki-was-here]

Manifesting Manifesting Manifesting

[neptunezo]

The batkids are known for sharing clothes amongst each other, so imagine everyone’s surprise when Jason won’t let them borrow his hoodie. Upon further inspection they find out it’s Roy’s hoodie. This causes a chain reaction and now Dick won’t let anyone borrow his Wally hoodie, Tim won’t let anyone borrow his Kon hoodie, Damian with Jon’s clothes(which there was no need for because Damian’s clothes never fit anyways), Duke with Izzy’s, Cass with Steph, and so on. After this “civil war” they all reluctantly agree to end this and all clothes (their own or not) is up for grabs. (minus Damian and Jon, of course)

bonus is when their partners steal the batkids clothes only to find out later that it’s definitely not a wayne kids clothing item.

Roy: That’s my sweater?

Wally: Yeah well Kon’s wearing my pants so…

Izzy: I’m probably wearing one of your boxers, it’s for sure not Dukes

Kon: how do you know?

Izzy: Because Duke doesn’t own Minecraft boxers???

Steph: Oh yeah sorry, those are mine

[casscainmainly]

Duke insulting Jason Todd for no reason oh Duke nation we are so back

[piercethevincent]

Thomas skipped both breakfast and lunch