#THIS IS A NOTE TO MYSELF TO DO THIS LATER

[k1tty5]

I would like to make it clear that I do NOT want anyone’s firstborns, but I will ramble. for you.

rambles about the process and other thoughts under the cut! I talk a LOT, so… view at your own risk?

I originally had this idea a couple months ago, I think when I first heard the song. I had made a little test for it, which I didn’t end up doing anything with because I thought it didn’t really make much sense. Which, I’m not sure I did that great of a job making this make sense, but you know. Whatever.

this is the original drawing i made for it back in early august, very rushed and not a big fan of it.

I liked the black background & grayscale palette, as well as the way the string kind of . Twirls around the text? BUT, I went into this without any planning, mostly just me doodling and then threw the lyrics on for fun. No plot or whatever, very short.

After I made this, I was kind of just keeping this idea in mind for later, but I held back on trying to do it as I just wasn’t really sure where I wanted to go with it. I’m very bad at planning and tend to rush into things a lot, which ends up hindering the quality of a lot of my art. and since this was something I actually liked the idea of, I wanted to give it my all.

There was also the fact that because I liked the idea, I wanted the best outcome. This kind of ends up in a sort of paralysis where I don’t want to work on something because I’m not good enough for it, but I did realize that I will likely never consider myself good enough for it, so why not just go for it?

Anyway ,

I did not end up keeping the black background for the reason that I decided that this time around I wanted it to have a more traditional vibe/look? Like perhaps it was scrawled over some roughed up paper, hence the sketchy style and limited palette.

And as for why I didn’t keep the string looping around the pages, I just thought that would add too much red to the pages, sort of ruining the vibe. So I instead just kept it inside the panels!

these are the original thumbnails/sketches! most of them I kept the same, but I did end up pretty much entirely changing the third page, because I decided there was already too many panels of just their faces with somewhat unsettled expressions .

thoughts on individual pages - don’t expect me to be organized or this to be well thought out, by the way,,

on page 1 ,

I started with a shot of the relationship, mostly to just… set the scene. I am NOT an expert on comics, and went into this with very minimal planning, so this work in general is more of the vibes than it is a storyline, but I did try to vaguely get it to resemble something comprehensible.

the second panel of Etho brushing Joel’s cheek is very much no thoughts for me lol, not very happy with how it looks. I do picture Etho as the more openly affectionate one (though i can see it both ways). BUT, to match with the lyrics, you could say that the first panel paired with “it’s hard to tell which elements of this are real” could be resembling that the boat is something tangible and physical, whereas the second panel paired with “and which are chemically enhanced” is referring to whatever feelings they have. Asking themselves if this is really real, or if it’s just the game.

no notes on the third panel lol. like i say this was not well thought out, the story is somewhat there, but it’s VERY much up to interpretation and I did intend it to be that way. I have ideas about what is happening, but I want to keep it up to the viewer.

on page 2,

“But it’s not easy to tell what I want from what I need” OH BOY !!! manic red joel. blinded by the bloodlust and rage and adrenaline. he needs this. he needs it, doesn’t he?

“I am more scared of myself than I am of anyone else” okay okay okay. I don’t headcanon he has any real remorse for killing anyone. this is a death game, you’re not meant to be a good person, this is built on lies and manipulation and blood and hurt. headcanon they’re all insane people doing bad things (with a forced hand or not). BUT !!! big fan of “i break everything i touch” kind of thing (its kind of a pattern in ships i like OOPS). so much angst. regretful of your violent nature, wishing to be gentler so that you can cradle his face without digging your nails into his skin, unwanting to break the only thing you’ve learnt to love.

but. etho doesn’t care !!! he doesnt care. his hands are just as bloody as yours, don’t you see?

on page 3,

panel one is just a continuation of the last scene which i just talked about blah blah blah

panel 2!! thats a portal. we all know what happened in the portal :)

on page 4.

ending the mini comic thing with the ship burning, while it started with a shot of the ship in its prime. before and after, how it started and how it ended.

all in all, I !! AM !!! INSANE!!! about them. I could ramble for hours probably but this is already long so ending with a couple final thoughts.

this is definitely meant to be set after they’ve gone red, when in that timeframe is up to you, though. in my vision the lyrics are kind of correlating to c!joel’s thoughts/feelings/whatevers, but it can definitely go both ways - or neither way lol. This song is really just like. THEM. To me.

anywho, thank you to anyone who has put the augh’s and ough’s in the tags, they’re very gratifying haha <3

the simplest words

[theereina]

Big Mama Pt. 9

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC

Wordcount: +2.8K

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, teasing, heavily dialogue-centered, use of pet names (Daddy, Mama, lil' mama, pretty girl, good boy, etc.), P in V, oral (male receiving), Dom!Terry, Jealous!Terry, spanking *if you squint*, slight exhibitionism, rough sex

A/N: I don't know how many parts there will be. However, I'm open to critiques. I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by ME (theereina). Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

Big Mama Pt. 1 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 2 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 3 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 4 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 5 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 6 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 7 => 🦋

Big Mama Pt. 8 => 🦋

*Masterlist: 🔥🔥🔥

After exiting the shower, I wanted nothing more than to nap. I wrapped the towel around my body and walked into the bedroom.

I walked to the side of the dresser where my clothes were. Terry had given me half of the eight drawers once he realized I was coming over more often. I stood before the mirrored dresser, turning around and checking myself out. My hair was poofy and falling out of my puff. I sighed deeply, knowing my arms would be suffering later. It was time for a protective style, whether box braids, micro twists, or a sew-in. I was definitely not about to be fighting with my hair any longer than I needed to.

I grabbed my vanilla cashmere body lotion from the dresser. It was not only my favorite scent but my signature. I was a vanilla girl through and through. I slowly walked over to the window and noticed the rain had slowed. The sun was slowly making an appearance through the thinning clouds. Faint streams of light beamed through the slits in the blinds.

The window was tall and almost floor-to-ceiling. It was the perfect height for me to use the window sill as a ledge. Raising the blinds, I propped my left leg on the small ledge. My foot rested in a small opening between the two sheer curtain panels. The soft creamy white color made them easier to see out of.

I pumped the lotion into the palm of my hands and began working it into my legs, alternating between the two. I took my time with every inch of my body, paying close attention to my tension areas. My thighs unintentionally became an area of extra attention. I slid the towel back on my legs a little more to work my way up my thighs. Pressing and kneading my inner thighs, I let out a small moan. I needed this. The muscles in my thighs were stiff and tense from all the running around I had been doing.

I made a mental note to ask Terry for a massage. I didn't care if it led to me getting put through a mattress. Fuck it! Terry's hands were like feathers guided by God. They knew exactly how to move and how much pressure to apply, and Lord, did they know exactly where to be to get me going.

Unknowingly, I had fallen into my own thoughts. Daydreaming about Terry's hands all over me made me put mine between my legs. I was absentmindedly rubbing my hand over the lips of my pussy. I dragged my fingers back and forth through my folds, letting my fingers stroke the underside of my clit. I slid my fingers back again, dipping into my hole. I moaned into the air as my breathing became harsh and ragged.

I quickly drew my hand back when I realized what I was doing. I instantly felt my cheeks grow hot. I had gotten so lost in pleasuring myself that I didn't even know how long I had been doing it. How had I managed to work myself up this bad?

I shook off the self-imposed sexual tension and finished lotioning my skin. I skipped over my chest because I knew I was just going to make it worse if I even so much as grazed my breasts.

Once finished, I turned to toss the lotion bottle on the bed and grabbed the underwear I had laid out. I was giving up on the idea of going outside. I was about to use this rain as an excuse to relax and get on Terry's last nerve. I slid the underwear on. While staring out the window, I got this eerie feeling that I was being watched. I looked around the open parking lot and checked the neighbors’ windows. I didn't see anyone or notice anything obvious so I tried to calm myself down.

As I turned around to walk to the bed, I ran into what felt like a brick wall. I stumbled backward but was grabbed by a set of hands I was all too familiar with— Terry's.

“Havana Rose, the hell you doin'?” Terry asked through gritted teeth. His hands tightened around my waist. I could sense the tension from his grip alone. Terry's head was tilted, and his jaw was tight. His face was scrawled with anger, but why was he angry?

I reached out to touch his forearm. “Terry, you okay?” I asked nervously.

“Nah, mama. You need to answer my damn question first. What…the…hell…were…you…doin'?” Terry asked again, annunciating every word.

“Nothin’, why? Is everything okay, baby?” I asked, moving closer to Terry.

“Nah, you know exactly what you did,” he said, placing his forehead on mine.

The intensity of Terry's stare let me know I was in deep shit. What had I done? I was at a loss because my mind was drawing a blank.

“What were you just doin' in front of that window, huh? Tell me, mama. What…were… you…doin'?” Terry asked, his hand moving to grip the side of my face.

He tilted my head back so I was looking directly at him. I stuttered through my thoughts. Nothing was coming together. I was in trouble and didn't know why.

“Daddy, can you just tell me? I wasn't doing anything that I'm aware of. I swear… this ain't me playin’. Terry?” I babbled finally able to form a semi-coherent thought.

“When you were in front of that window, where were your hands?” Terry asked, snaking his hand from my face to the back of my head.

“I was putting on lotion. So, I guess,… they were on me,” I stammered. I was praying that was the right answer.

“Nah, after that! Better yet, what were you doin' with them after puttin’ on lotion ‘Vana?” Terry snapped. His voice was low and rumbly. Every word carried through his chest like a roar.

“Fine. Come here. Maybe, this'll help!” Terry said, guiding me back to the window. “Stand right there and show me what you were doin'!” Terry boomed.

“Okay!” I yelled back as I turned to face the window.

“Oh, this ain't the time for you to have a damn attitude, ‘Vana. Now, show me!” Terry snapped.

I mentally went through all of my motions— feet, legs, arms, thighs…. Shit! My eyes widened in horror and embarrassment.

“Yeah, if I could see you doin' it, only God knows who else. Why would you stand in front of a window playin’ with yourself?” Terry said, closing in the space behind me.

His chest was now pressed into my back. He leaned down so his lips were touching my ear.

“So, we giving the neighbors a show?” Terry asked.

“No, I didn't mean to. I just thought no one could see me. I'm sorry,” I said, turning to face Terry.

“Mmm mmm, stay facing the window,” Terry said, leaning up again.

I could hear Terry moving behind me. I tried to peek over my shoulder. I was growing anxious and tense. I didn't know what Terry was doing behind me.

Out of my peripheral, I saw Terry's shirt land on the floor. Before I could question him, I heard his belt buckle clinking. He was undressing! I heard his pants rustling amidst my panicking. I could hear his pants hit the floor. Without warning, he kicked those to be in a pile with his shirt.

“Terry…,” I whined, twiddling with my thumbs. I was biting the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw blood. I winced at the pain.

“Don't talk. Just listen,” he said, pushing up the back of the towel and pulling down my underwear.

His hands began to caress and rub all over my bare ass.

“You know I have half a mind to tear yo’ ass up, but what good would a spankin’ do? I say… since you wanna put on a show for the neighbors, let's put on a show,” he said, leaning into me.

“But I didn't mean to… I swear. I was thinkin' about… you,” I whined, shrinking underneath him.

“Thinkin’ about me, huh? What were you thinkin’ about?” Terry asked, pressing his hips into my ass. His dick was hard and begging to be released from his boxers.

“You… um… touchin’ me,” I moaned out.

“You lyin' to me, baby girl?” Terry asked, placing one of his hands between us. I could feel him free his dick, causing it to poke the back of my ass.

I shrank down, moaning into the feeling. Terry instantly pulled me back up. Throwing his hands around me, he locked me in place. I had nowhere to run.

“You know Mr. Fitz was outside near the side of the building. When I pulled up, he was looking all strange and staring at the sky. Just for me to realize… he was lookin' at you. You had that poor old man stuck, girl. How do you feel about that?” Terry asked, grabbing a patch of hair at the nape of my neck.

“I didn't see anyone. It just happened. I started daydreamin’ and got lost in it. That's why I stopped,” I mewled.

By the way Terry was moving and the tone of his voice, I knew where this was going.

“That's the problem. YOU didn't see anyone, but I did. You like showing people what's mine? You liked the thought of someone seein’ you, huh? Is that what you want ‘Vana? You want the neighbors to see how nasty you can get? Their precious little baby girl…,” Terry huffed, using his feet to push mine apart.

He used his body weight to bend me over. His hand stayed in its place, tangled in my messy hair. He dipped his hips so his dick was positioned at my entrance. His other hand disappeared between us. I felt him guide the tip of his dick inside me.

“Since you wanna give them a show, let's give them one. I wanna Oscar-worthy performance outta you. Understood?” Terry barked.

“Yes, Daddy. I understand,” I said, leaning into him. There was nothing else I could do.

“You… better… show… out,” Terry annunciated through gritted teeth.

Without another word, he pushed his dick inside of me. My pussy pushed him out, begging for a little relief. He pushed half of himself back in, stoking into me slowly.

“What’s wrong? You can’t take Daddy’s dick all of a sudden?” he asked, mocking me.

I couldn't focus on a fuckin’ word that was coming out of his mouth. I was already struggling to breathe and stay upright. I reached out to hold onto the frame of the window. Before I could gather myself, Terry's dick started knocking the Sonic rings out of my pussy. He was definitely pissed. The only time Terry delivered dick like this was when he was angry. But this time, Daddy was angry!

“Ahh, fuck!” I said, falling forward.

Between Terry’s teasing and my previous self-pleasure, it took no time for him to bottom out. My pussy swallowed Terry’s dick whole, pulling him in like a vacuum. I was so gone that I hadn't forgotten we were in front of a window.

“Don’t let that towel fall. That’s all you focus on!” Terry groaned.

“Okay!” I screamed.

I was falling under the weight of pleasure. My legs were already turning into jello.

“Baby girl, focus. You ain't gone fall. You gone stay right here with Daddy,” Terry said, using his grip on my hair to pull me back up.

My eyes were closing, and my toes were curling into the carpet. I could feel every inch of Terry’s dick inside of me— every push and every pull. The level of pleasure I was feeling had me floating. My pussy clearly had a mind of its own because the grip it had on Terry’s dick was not intentional.

“Come on, mama. I feel you, baby. I feel you. Let’em see you, baby. Show’em why Daddy ain't never leavin’. Come on,” Terry groaned as his fingertips dug into my hip.

“Please, don’t stop!” I screamed. My voice carried through the apartment. I knew the neighbors heard me, but I didn’t care. Poor, Mrs. Geraldine.

I arched my back as much as this position would allow. I started to catch Terry’s rhythm, throwing my ass back on him with fervor.

“There you go. That’s what the fuck I'm talkin’ bout. Show out for Daddy, baby. You got this!” Terry said, smacking me on my ass.

I opened my eyes to see the window fogging up, causing me to smile. Realization set in that I was letting this man fuck me in front of a window. At this point, oh fucking well. I didn't care who saw me, and I for damn sure didn't care who heard.

His strokes were knocking me down something serious right now. How was I going to tell this man I wanted to be fucked like this all the time? Just walk in, get naked, and get to fucking work.

“Fuck, baby. Daddy’s close, but I need you to finish first. Come here,” Terry said, removing his hand from my hair.

He placed his hand down the top of my towel and began twirling my left nipple.

“Ahh, fuck!” I hissed.

His other hand fell from my hip, slipping around and under the bottom of my towel. Using the pads of his fingers, he began rubbing my clit. Already sensitive, I shuddered as I felt the first wave of my orgasm approaching.

“Daddy!” I yelled, throwing my head back.

“That’s right! Let it go, baby. Cum on your dick. Wet me up, ‘Vana!” Terry yelled. I could feel his dick throbbing inside of me.

Like a tsunami, I squirted all over Terry’s dick. My cum dripped down my thighs and legs, leaving a wet spot on the carpet below us.

“That’s it. That’s my good girl! You ready for Daddy, baby?” Terry grunted.

I could feel his hips stuttering as his strokes faltered as he was still in search of his own release. His strokes became shallow but held the same power and intensity. The smacking of our bodies echoed through the room like our own version of Morse code.

“’Vana, knees. I need you… ahhh… I need you on your knees, baby. Now!” Terry barked, pulling out of me.

I turned around at the speed of light, dropping to my knees in front of Terry. I knew the routine— mouth open, tongue out, hands on my lap, eyes on Daddy.

“Good girl,” Terry said, stroking himself while slapping his dick on my tongue.

Terry’s sat his dick on my tongue and threw his head back. “Give it to me, mama,” he groaned.

I wrapped my lips around Terry’s dick and began sucking him with a hunger only he could cure. His hands went to the back of my head, not to guide me but to stabilize himself. I looked up, searching for his eyes. Seeing Terry come undone under my doing, knowing he had full intentions of probably destroying me, made me smile.

I pushed further and swallowed the rest of him until my lips reached his base. I relaxed my throat and bobbed my head back and forth.

“Fuck, mama!” Terry yelled as his head dropped to look at me.

Terry's dick stiffened in my mouth. As soon as I felt the first drop of cum, I sucked him up again and rested at the base. Ropes of cum spilled to the back of my throat as I swallowed what would have been mouthfuls. This load was different— heavy, dense, and full of emotion. Breathing through my nose and relaxing underneath him, I let Terry empty himself and ride out his high in its entirety. I had no intentions of disturbing him.

Once he was finished, Terry released himself from my mouth. Looking down at me, he cupped my face in his hands. He pulled me up from the floor and pulled me into a heated kiss. It was clear that his anger had subsided, but the passion was still there. His tongue danced around mine, dominating the kiss. He drew in a breath and sucked in my bottom lip. I moaned out, feeling myself get worked up again. Terry pulled back slowly, leaving me craving more.

“Oh, don’t worry, mama. We got all day,” he said, picking me up and carrying me to the bathroom.

Today was going to be a long day. Pray for me.

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[mochiwonz]

― YOU'RE JUST A STRANGER s.jaeyun

PAIRING. fem!reader x nonidol bf!jake CONTENT. angst , jake is kind-of a jerk (╥﹏╥) , breakup , cursing WORD COUNT. 1,281 NOTE. omg i've wanted to write an angsty fic for awhile so this is me finally doing it :3 the plot is kinda ass so i apologize T v T pls remember this is all just fiction !! hope you enjoy ♡

You were convinced that Jake was the best boyfriend anyone could ever have. He was insanely good-looking, dressed well, loved his family and friends, and had a loving personality. Jake always made time for you and never went a day without checking up on you. He even told you that he would marry you one day and that you guys would have three kids and one dog. Frankly, he was really just perfect.

Well, until he wasn't.

When you first met Jake, you guys were sophomores in highschool. You guys had met in your science class and ended up becoming close friends. After growing closer to him, you realized you had some pretty strong feelings for him. And surely enough, he felt the same way about you, too.

So in Junior year, he confessed to you and of course you said yes. How could you not? Throughout the next year, you felt as if life couldn't be any better. Your first love also loved you, and he was also possibly the most charming man on earth!

However, things quickly changed.

Fast forward a year and a half later, you guys graduated and quickly moved in together. But Jake was no longer the same. He was no longer the sweet boy that showed his love and affection for you. Instead, he was closed off. He never started conversations with you, you always had to be the one to start it. Jake was just becoming more distant.

Why? Why was your own boyfriend distancing himself from you? Did you do something wrong?

It was now 7:40 pm and Jake had still not answered your texts. Jake always answered, or well- he used to always answer.

baby i'm omw to the grocery store and i'll make us some dinner tonight <3

jake i just saw a dog that looks so much like layla lol

jake?? i haven't heard from you since you left this morning, r u okay?

i'm not trying to bother u jake but i'm rly worried pls atleast txt me back :(

You didn't know what to think. Was he ignoring you on purpose? Did you accidentally make a mistake? Was he falling out of love with you? Was he cheating on you?

No way, he couldn't. Yes he had been distant, but no, Jake would never. You wish he could just give you an explanation, at least.

You were just about to call him until you heard footsteps entering the apartment.

Jake's finally home.

You walk over to Jake and worryingly bombard him with questions while hugging him.

"baby...how're you? where were you today? did your phone die-"

He cuts you off.

"quit being so fucking nosey y/n." he says, sounding pissed off.

What? Did you just hear that right? And why did he sound and look so mad?

"jake...what? I was just worried..." you tell him, your voice laced with a bit of shock.

"i'm a grown ass man, i can take care of myself." he responds, not looking at you while pushing you away from his chest.

He quickly walks over to the fridge and grabs himself a cup of coffee- coffee that you made for him, hoping maybe he'd thank you or acknowledge you.

Not to your surprise, he just grabs it and walks to the sofa. Not one glance, not one "thank you". Nothing.

"hey jake, did i do something wrong? if so i'm sorr-"

And again, he cuts you off.

"can you just shut up please, you didn't do anything wrong." he tells you, and you're not convinced. How could you be?

"okay well then why have you been such an ass towards me? please just give me a fucking explanation" you say while sitting beside him on the sofa.

You notice how he moves away from you, and you can't help but feel a little frustrated.

"maybe it's because i'm sick of you always bothering me y/n."

Bothering him? You've only ever tried to care for him. Fuck, you can feel your eyes getting watery.

The room feels cold, even though the heater is on. There is no longer that warmth- the comforting warmth that you oh so loved. Things had really changed, and you really fucking hated it.

"bothering you? jake i'm your girlfriend, all i'm trying to do is love and care for you. i-"

"okay then just stop. stop loving and caring for me." he says in a louder tone of voice.

Now you're really frustrated. What the fuck is happening with Jake?

"what the fuck is wrong with you? jake, what the fuck?"

"nothing is fucking wrong with me y/n. maybe i'm just tired of your ass. maybe i'm just not in love with you anymore."

Did he just- oh. So you were right. He really doesn't love you anymore.

"jake you could've just told me you didn't love me anymore. you could've just told me so i didn't have to be put through this shit, and so that you could've just left." you tell him, your eyes filled with tears.

"i couldn't tell you because i know you would fucking cry like a crybaby."

You felt your heart break into two. The man you loved, your once sweet boyfriend, was now treating you like you were nothing to him.

And in Jake's eyes, you really were nothing to him anymore.

"jake what the fuck i-" you try to speak but you're choked up. And fuck, you feel the first tear fall and next thing you know- you're sobbing.

"see, look- you're crying. i knew you'd fucking cry. and shit, you're an ugly crier too. i can't keep up with your shit anymore y/n, i'm tired. you always treat me like i'm a baby, making me food and shit. just stop. i'm leaving and this is over. we're over. bye y/n" he says while getting up from the couch.

You feel numb. Your first love just stabbed you, right in the heart.

Before you could say anything back, he'd already grabbed his bag and jacket and was on his way to the front door. And this time, you knew he wasn't going to come back.

You quickly get up and run to the front door, stopping him in his tracks.

"jake can you atleast look at me please-" you tell him and he listens and looks at you. However, his stare is emotionless.

"please jake can i hug you one last time?...please" you ask, voice shaky from your sobbing.

"sure whatever" he responds in an annoyed tone of voice.

You slowly bring yourself closer to him and rest your head in his chest and wrap your arms around him. But you didn't feel that same warmth. You didn't feel any sort of love or comfort that you hoped you would.

He just stood there. He didn't wrap his arms around your waist and kiss the top of your head like he used to. Of course he wouldn't. You just missed the old jake.

"okay y/n that's enough. i'll get going" he tells you while unwrapping your arms.

You can't find any words to say to him, you really can't. You just stand there, looking and feeling like a complete mess.

"bye" jake says as he walks out the door.

You don't say "bye" back to him, because you can't.

You're just standing there, frozen, numb. You just watch him as he leaves. You watch him leave the apartment as your boyfriend, for the last time ever.

And then, the door closes. He wasn't your boyfriend anymore and you weren't his girlfriend anymore. And no you wouldn't be calling him your ex boyfriend or your first love.

If anything, you would call him a complete and total stranger.

part 2 is here and my other works are here ! pls reblog if you enjoyed :))

[wonlvures]

FALLING FOR YOU ୨୧ - SIM JAEYUN

PAIRING: idol!Jake x Idol!reader

SYNOPSIS: you and Jake secretly have a thing for each other when you guys are idols and have a secret relationship

GENRE: fluff, romance

AUTHORS NOTE: this was highly requested by a generous user!

Jake had always known that being an idol would come with its fair share of challenges—late nights, early mornings, grueling schedules, and fans who loved him unconditionally. But there was one thing he hadn’t expected when he first entered this world: to meet someone who didn’t seem to care about any of that.

It happened on the set of a variety show. Jake, along with his group, had been invited to participate in a cooking challenge against another group of idols, and Y/N was the one chosen to co-host and judge. She had been in the industry for a while, but not in the same group as Jake. He had seen her on TV, admired her work, but he never imagined their paths would cross in such a casual way.

The cameras rolled, and the challenge began. Jake, known for being a bit of a perfectionist, was focused on the task at hand, but there was something about the way Y/N smiled and teased the contestants that caught his attention. She was sharp, quick-witted, and radiated a warm, approachable energy that made everyone around her relax. Jake noticed, too, that she didn’t treat him like a star. While others hesitated or were overly polite, she was relaxed with him—like they were just two people doing their jobs.

During the break between filming, they ended up sitting next to each other. Y/N turned to him with a grin.

“You know, I’m actually kind of impressed by your cooking skills. I thought idols couldn’t cook.”

Jake laughed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I may not be a chef, but I can follow a recipe. Plus, I’ve been living on takeout too long. I had to learn something.”

Y/N’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “I totally get it. If I didn’t learn how to cook, I’d be living on ramen forever.”

As the conversation flowed easily, Jake realized just how down-to-earth she was. She didn’t talk about her fame or her achievements. Instead, she asked about his hobbies, his favorite food, and even complained about the exhaustion of being in the industry. It was refreshing. She wasn’t fawning over him, or putting him on a pedestal—she just treated him like a regular person, which, for Jake, felt rare.

When filming wrapped up, they exchanged numbers to keep in touch for future shows. Jake didn’t think much of it at the time—he figured it was just part of the job. But over the next few weeks, he found himself looking forward to her messages.

Their texts started off small—simple messages about scheduling, a funny meme here and there, or asking each other for advice about their upcoming performances. But something shifted as the days went on. They began to open up more. Y/N shared her worries about the pressures of being an idol—how fans’ expectations sometimes felt suffocating. Jake, in turn, confessed his own struggles with the constant demand to be perfect, to always smile, to always give his best even when he was running on empty.

It was during one of these late-night conversations that Jake found himself looking at his phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard, uncertain of what to say. He had never been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, but there was something about Y/N that made him want to.

He typed, then deleted, then typed again.

Jake: "I know we’ve only known each other a little while, but... I feel like I can actually be myself around you. And I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately."

Y/N’s response came just a few moments later.

Y/N: "Jake, I feel the same way. I’ve never really had a chance to connect with anyone like this in the industry. It’s... kind of nice."

Jake felt a weight lift off his chest. For the first time in a long while, he felt like he was talking to someone who wasn’t interested in his status as an idol but in him—the person behind the image.

It wasn’t long before they started meeting up in person. Sometimes it was after a late-night show or a photoshoot, where they’d steal a few quiet moments for themselves. They didn’t have to go to fancy restaurants or glamorous locations. It was the small things that mattered—grabbing bubble tea together, walking around the park after a long day, or just sitting in a cafe and talking about everything and nothing at all.

One evening, after a particularly exhausting day of filming, Jake texted her again.

Jake: "Hey, I don’t know about you, but I’m about ready to collapse. Want to meet up for a quick bite? Somewhere quiet?"

Y/N read the message and smiled, already feeling the same fatigue, but also the familiar pull of wanting to see him again. There was something comforting about being with Jake—something that allowed her to forget about the bright lights and the pressure for just a little while.

Y/N: "Sounds perfect. Meet you at the usual place?"

They met at a small, out-of-the-way restaurant, a little hole-in-the-wall that had become their spot. It was the kind of place where no one cared who they were or what they did for a living. No flashing cameras, no eager fans. Just food, laughter, and quiet moments together.

As they sat down, Jake looked at her across the table, watching the way she pushed her hair behind her ear, a habit she had when she was nervous or thinking.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” he said, his voice softer than usual. “Lately, I’ve realized I look forward to our conversations more than anything. It’s... it’s strange, but it feels different with you. Like I can finally relax.”

Y/N felt her heart flutter, her chest tightening with an unfamiliar warmth. She had thought about Jake a lot too—about how easy it was to talk to him, how much she enjoyed his presence, and how it felt like they were falling into something that was beyond just friendship.

“Jake,” she started, her voice a little more nervous than she intended, “I feel the same way. You’re... different from everyone else I’ve met. I feel like I can just be myself.”

There was a long pause, and Jake’s gaze softened. Then, almost as if he had been holding his breath, he leaned in slightly.

“Y/N, I like you. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and I—"

Before he could finish, Y/N reached across the table, placing her hand on his.

“I like you too,” she said, her smile genuine and a little shy. “I’ve been trying to figure out when the right moment would be to say it, but I guess... now’s as good a time as any.”

Jake laughed softly, the tension in his body releasing. He didn’t need to say anything more—he could see it in her eyes. They had both been tiptoeing around something that had always been there, and now, it felt like they had finally crossed that invisible line.

From that night forward, their relationship deepened. They still had their moments of uncertainty—moments when the pressure of being public figures weighed heavily on them. But through it all, they kept finding ways to support each other, even when the world seemed too loud or too demanding.

They continued to meet in secret, sharing quiet moments in the midst of their busy lives. Sometimes they would slip away for a quick coffee, other times they would sit in the park at night, talking about their hopes for the future, about what they wanted for themselves and each other.

One afternoon, after a particularly grueling practice, Y/N found herself waiting for Jake outside the practice room. When he stepped out, exhausted but smiling, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Are you always this tired?” she teased.

Jake grinned, his eyes bright despite the exhaustion. “Pretty much. But it’s worth it when I get to see you.”

Y/N smiled, feeling her heart flutter once again. It was in moments like these that she realized how much they had changed each other—not as idols, but as people. Jake wasn’t just the idol she had admired from afar; he was someone she could trust, someone who understood the difficulties of their world and who was willing to take the time to show her that there was more to life than just the spotlight.

And as for Jake, he had never imagined that something so simple, so pure, could grow out of the chaos of their shared world. But with Y/N by his side, he began to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for love to bloom amid the flashing cameras and the noise.

Their love wasn’t something they shouted from rooftops or shared on social media—it was something they kept close, something between the two of them. But in their hearts, it was more than enough.

Together, they learned that sometimes the most unexpected connections are the ones that last the longest.

[shinkei-shinto]

Let's see if I can add MORE confusion in with my previous close reading of every single book in the series so that I could write my own Redwall novel!*

I see that you OP have heard of The Cookbook but for everybeast else: there's a cookbook! Most of the recipes are extremely simplistic but we'll get to why I think that is in a second.

WRT dairy: they make mention of "greensap milk" and I don't think any of their cheese comes without nuts. In ahhhh the one with the badger and his hawk, they talk more deeply about how cheeses are made (after you have the cheese) including wrapping them in nettles. So I Guess So since it apparently acts Just Like Dairy Cheese.

Yes! We are! Society doesn't exist yet! If you look at the books in chronological order, they move from using spears and sharpened stakes to swords and daggers and simple bows, and - in the last couple of books - crossbows. There's only one smithy and it's made in a dormant/dead volcano. They're literally just not that advanced at this point (although who knows where this would have gone if Jacques had been able to continue!) In earlier books, he refers to various tribes of species all living together in groups, such as squirrels in bands of trees, or the molehill of the Longladle family. Actually circling back to this there *is* one society that sort of rises up as a "city" -- in the Rogue Crew. There's a group of peaceable beasts who all live (mixed!) together in an enclosed sort of fort. It's one of the only other mixed-species places that exist, besides the Abbey and technically Salamandastron. (does Martin's temporary home have other species? I can't remember.) So this is also why I think recipes are a little simplistic. While they have so many vegetables (and don't UTILIZE THEM why are potatoes ONLY USED IN DEEPER'N'EVER PIE!? HUH??!) I think we're given to assume those are local and grown in their own ground, and they don't. have. spices/trade/etc yet.

*I* think the only idea of 'currency' is 'the currency of goodbeasts to do slave labor'. I think this one I would lean more heavily into "he was telling these stories to children" as an excuse; kids don't want to hear about money and capitalism they want to hear about pirates and heroes. But I also find this aspect of society confusing so I was mostly glad we didn't have to deal with money.

There's a bread dimension. That's my only excuse. As far as we know, the Abbey is very large - the front gates are tall enough to admit a full sized ship on wheels (a casualty of one mast) which is able to roll fully into the Abbey, hit a tree, and stop, without ever coming within weapons range of the front doors. We know there are lawns on either side of this path, a graveyard, a small-to-medium-sized spring-fed-lake, and a generous orchard. I assume Jacques was modeling this after abbeys in Europe/England, which I don't know jack and shit about, but that they did live there year round. shrug? I will note that there is a scene in a book (no I don't remember which one) where a gardener explains to a peer that 'we don't plant or harvest it all at once because then we'd have a bumper crop of parsley and what use is that? by planting some seedlings now, some later, we will have parsley throughout the season instead' so he was thinking about it, at least, even if it doesn't quite work out to reality terms. but there's just a fucking bread dimension, there just has to be, there's not enough room to grow the plants needed nor mills to grind them nor processing or ever making or even mention of flour. I GUESS we could talk about nutflour and other flour-like-flowers which the mice would have access to but BREAD DIMENSION. This was my one concession in my writing, I gave myself an out here because it drove me NUTS.

I don't think Jacques ever thought about this. We get ONE instance of a mouse adopting a. rat? what the hell is he. I think he wasn't the same species, I don't remember that one well, but there's him and Tagg, and that's "otter adopted by vermin" which isn't quite this either. I think this is probably another "kids story concession" which isn't an answer I like to give but it's the best I've got.

ha! ha! he actually retconned this! if you read Redwall the first book, he makes mention of several species (beaver? horse) which are WIPED FROM EXISTENCE in the rest of the series. There is a cart drawn by a horse which makes it seem like the mice and rats are living in a world with humans & human-sized equipment but that is RETCONNED. I do think the trees vary in size because we have various scenes of "two maidens bound hand-to-hand around a tree to keep them confined for the night" and "tied all [4-6?] of the vermin together with their belts, around a tree" in various locations in Mossflower and its environs. I don't? think? we ever hear of trees large enough to be giants to mice like they would in our reality. an addendum to this: I have never bloody been able to figure out the size of the fish. shrimps are the size of shrimp to us because otters eventually 'Skipper popped one in his mouth' in the kitchens which gives us an idea of how large they are to otters, at least. but fish??? ha. HA! we have the feast-day fish catching where multiple beasts are needed to reel in a huge trout or carp. we have pike, which are enormous man-eaters (mice-eaters?) but can also be beat to shit by a big otter and his rudder (Lord Brocktree iirc) and there is one kept as a tame uh, "pet", by an otter tribe. there is ALSO the wolf question. Gods know I don't remember which one this is but there's a book where a ... big fox? i think he is? is up far north, and he finds a dead wolf? and takes its skull and pelt and puts knives in for the claws? or some such. so we DO have extra-large-predators like wolves and wolverine, but then when we get. to the wildcats. oh the wildcats. they drive me NUTS. by rights they should be as big as badgers? when Martin fights Verdauga it feels like Martin is half the size of the cat? but then in every other way the cats seem to be as big as otters! or hares! uugghhh. BIRDS TOO birds are WILDLY inconsistent in size, I don't know how a mouse helps an osprey re-set his wing nor how a mousebabe rides on a flying eagle's head without disappearing.

do I have any burning questions still. hmm. OH I want to know what they make! their clothing! out of!!! WHAT IS IT. I also want answers about the far west, the scorpion??? and lizards??? as well as what the other side of the continent towards the east looks like, because in Martin's history we get to visit that coast AND we learn of several locations (TM) like Noonvale, which are never referred to again.

which BLOWS MY MIND because he made Brockhall + Castle Kotir literally affect the landscape temporally throughout his books. Brockhall is discovered and rediscovered and lost again and again, and Kotir eventually rises from the dead to menace the Abbey wall because fucking Germaine built a wall over the top of it when it sank into a mire. MA'AM. Even when we get to Doomwyte, the cavern they are in is a cavern mentioned in earlier texts! this is not our first interaction with the deep deep fissure in the earth that emits green gas!!!

oh and The Tapestry. I have so many questions about the tapestry. canonically the image of Martin was sewn by his (mother? wife? someone) and preserved through many things to eventually be set as the 'cornerstone' for the tapestry. And it "depicts vermin fleeing from him in all directions" and his "calm easy face" which seems to smile at Redwallers etc etc. but then. the SWORD. sometimes it it set next to the tapestry which to me makes sense; held vertically along the side it is accessible to many but not to babes. I don't think it is ever placed below the tapestry. but it IS placed ABOVE and there is a part where a goodbeast does acrobatic parkour to SNATCH IT FROM THE NAILS and I want to know HOW??? how big is the tapestry. how did you get that. is it landscape or portrait. what. WHAT. also where did the shield go! where did the sheath go! those were so important aaagaggghhhhhh.

Okay that's it I think I'm done. I hope any of this was useful or amusing, or better yet caused more chaos and questions 👍

^* I did in fact write most of this, 50k/100k words over two NaNos, but I could never get anyone to fucking read it or give me any feedback, despite handing out the first fifteen chapters to like seven people, so I lost steam. So if you're reading this and going "wow! I sure would like to read even more Redwall content and I would LOVE to get into in-depth discussions of shit in a fanbook, this sounds like a great way to build community," HI PICK ME.

hobbies include: close reading the Redwall series to answer my most burning questions. such as:

- can I replicate any of these delicious-sounding foodstuffs and would they in fact be delicious if I was able to

- corollary to the above: are we just supposed to read “oat cream” and “nut cheese” every time we see the words “cream” and “cheese”? I think so. bc if not, what tha hell are their livestock animals

- what is Society like? I don’t think we ever see a Mouse City or even Mouse Town though we do see castles and obviously an abbey. are we supposed to believe that most creatures are either in wandering bands or these societies based around a single structure (castle/abbey?)

- they appear to have an idea of what currency is (the bad guys always want treasure — maybe just to have, not to sell? but less ambiguous is some dialogue I just read, “acorn for your thoughts?” “you can have them for free”) but again, we never see anyone using money or making goods for the market. is this after the fall of Mouse Capitalism? are the bad guys (the idea of rat pirates gives me a headache, vis a vis the political/economic systems needed to power piracy) raiding preindustrial mouse societies for treasure/meat?

- corollary to the above: the abbey creatures have oats and wheat but we don’t see anybody farming or trading for farm goods on a large enough scale. is the abbey “orchard” really a like an indigenous forest farm of mixed foodstuffs? is that possible if you live in the same place the whole year or only if you travel each season? I have to do some googling

- both the lack of mixed-species families and the idea of mixed-species families give me a headache. has a squirrel never fallen for a handsome otter? what is the culture shock like if you marry into a subterranean mole family?

- this is the least “important” question but this read through I’ve been desperately trying to figure out What Size Everything Else Is. i’ve come to the conclusion that everything other than animals are at mouse scale, given that they can make seaworthy vessels their own size (a mouse sized vessel with real-world-sized waves seems impossible) and pick and eat apples and plums. but so far it seems like they’ve avoided mentioning how tall trees are — like a person compared to a tree or a mouse compared to a tree?

[lynzishell]

🌶️18+ Only

Prev // Next

*Note: If you have not read Part 4 and cba to go back and read it all, then this post should give you enough context.

Transcript below the cut:

Atlas: Hey. I was just thinking about you. Asher: Were you? Atlas: Can’t you tell?

Asher: What were you thinking? Atlas: I’ll show you.

Asher: Ahh… thank god you still feel the same. Atlas: What?

Asher: Nothing. Keep going.

[Later…]

Atlas: Are you coming to bed? Asher: … Atlas: Ash?

Asher: If I ask you something, will you promise to tell me the truth? Atlas: Of course. Asher: That last morning in Selvadorada, when we woke up in the jungle, you looked genuinely freaked out and you asked me if I remembered anything. What did you mean? Atlas: Why are you asking about that?

Asher: Because something feels different, ever since we got back, and I can’t shake it. Atlas: I see. Is that what’s been bothering you? Asher: [nods] Did something happen? Atlas: I think so. I’ve been trying to convince myself it was all just a dream, but I don’t think it was. I wanted to tell you, but… it’s going to make me sound insane. Asher: Tell me.

Atlas: I don’t really know where to start. Asher: At the beginning? Atlas: [scoffs] I wish it were that simple. Um, do you remember the temple? Asher: I remember the ruins. And the museum. Atlas: Right, okay. The museum. Do you remember what that guy, Sam, I think, do you remember what he said about curses?

One long and confusing story later…

Asher: How is that possible? Atlas: I have no idea, but I think maybe you’re right, that things are not the same as they were when we left. I don’t know exactly how, but I feel it too.

Asher: How do we go back?   Atlas: Back where? Asher: I don’t know. To whatever timeline we were in before. Atlas: I don’t think we do. I think we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.

Asher: [sinking to his knees] But…

Atlas: Hey. Come here. Everything’s okay. More than okay. We made it out. We have each other, and we have our family and our friends, and we still get to create the life we always dreamed of. Nothing else matters. The rest is just… background noise.

Asher: Background noise? Atlas: Yes, and for what it’s worth, one thing that hasn’t changed, that will never change, is how much I love you. Asher: Atlas, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Atlas: We’ll never have to find out. For the rest of our lives, we’re in this together.

Asher: I love you so much. Atlas: I love you too.

[evilvvithin]

FOR THE COLLECTION

pairing: asa emory x f!reader warnings: stalking, violence, description of blood and gore, Asa is cute few times that's a warning in it's own, smut but faintly words: 4,421 summary: When he first saw you, Asa thought you'd make a nice piece for collection, but not exactly in the way as other unfortunate victims - you'd be his perfect final piece.

notes: One shot fic but could be turned into multiple chapters later. I made multiple time jumps in this without specifically describing it but i like the story telling it creates. I really just wanted some Asa so started writing and writing and.. :) AO3 link || masterlist (pls don't read my old fics i am not proud of them)

It was finally the day - the day when a huge art gallery opens in your city. You were eager to go as you loved art and everything around it, not even caring all your friend turned you down on the invite at the last second. Despite them all coming up with various reasons as to why they can't make it, you knew they just didn't want to come - it was boring to them. They didn't appreciate the art. It wasn't disappointing though, you expected to go alone, again.

Losing yourself in the paitings for what seemed like hours, inspecting every single brush stroke and techniques, you were so lost in yourself and the art you didn't notice a man constantly following behind you. You've noticed him in the gallery before, but nothing really stood out about him - he looked very ordinary, but well groomed and kept overall, dressed in a simple black suit. 

He loved the way you stood in front of each display for long, making sure you saw every detail in it. The perfect imperfections. The perfections. You looked so peaceful standing there alone - the world around you disappeared. You tend to do it a lot, but he already knew that as it wasn't the first time he saw you at grand opening like this one.

“Fascinating, isn't it?” He nonchalantly said right behind your ear. 

You jumped, heart raced a little, looking at the man observing the painting now standing right behind you. 

“How they created such masterpieces without all the modern technology. Masterpieces that live forever. They were geniuses. All the years and no one could beat them to it.”

You smiled at the man, nodding. “I agree. I just can't get enough of it despite seeing the art so many times. It feels different every time you look at it.” 

“This one especially is my personal favorite.”

“Oh, same!”

The two of you looked at each other, excitement pouring out of you. You were here alone, mesmerized by the art - so was he. He was quite attractive now that you focused on it - casually looking but clean. Simple, attractive man with smooth yet sharp facial features. 

His phone beeped and after checking it quickly, he sighed annoyingly. “Have to go.. but would love to chat with you about art more.” 

You felt the heat running to your cheeks. His straight forwardness took you by surprise. 

“I-me too. Yes.” You mumbled out hoping he doesn't notice your awkwardness and reddish cheeks.

He himself felt a little awkward despite presenting himself so confidently - his way of getting girls usually didn't include talking to them trying to impress them or invite them out. 

“Can I have your number, then?” He smiled and handed you his phone in which you typed it. 

“People usually exchange socials and stuff,” you said and returned his smile.

“Oh, yeah. I myself find phone numbers more.. intimate. People don't hand these out publicly like their socials.” He let out a chuckle as he saved the number you gave him. The chemistry between you two was almost visible in the air. “See you later.”

“See you!”

What. An. Interaction.

Watching him disappear around the corner your heart pounded as if you just realized what happened, but you were definitely going to give it a shot and meet him. If he actually called you later as he said that was it. While you hoped he would actually invite you out, you couldn't shake the feeling it was just another fail. Maybe you were too awkward and he was going to rethink his choices later or it was one of those guys just collecting numbers anywhere they go. 

Oh, you were so wrong.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to ignore all that happened and focused on the art again. 

Later that day just when you got out of the shower and were ready to sleep, your phone vibrated on the nightstand. Your eyes widened in excitement as you saw an unknown number on the screen - must've been him. It was a text message, short and simple, inviting you for dinner at a nearby restaurant, with a wish of good night to you at the end. 

Maybe this could work out. Maybe good things were finally happening to you. 

Looking forward to it. Good night - you replied and giggled. 

The date went so good you refused to believe that it was actually real. 

He brought you flowers, somehow knowing exactly which ones you liked and what color. The food was delicious, the atmosphere magical, the tension between you only growing and more exciting. 

Not only the first date, all the other dates you two had were unbelievably good and enjoyable. Asa Emory, as he introduced himself, was smart and talkative once you get to know each other more. He felt comfortable with you and enjoyed his time, making him almost unable to stop talking. He was a professor - his way of talking sold it out before he even told you. He knew how to capture attention and what to say at all times. You could talk about anything for days and never get tired or run out of topics. It felt like match made in heaven.

You learned he was an entomologist later, right before you two started to date officially. You had an idea he had something to do with bugs when you saw his van, at which he had “Deratization” logo. Sometimes when he had time he went around and cleaned people’s houses from the bugs he liked so much. He restrained from telling you, scared you'd back away and feel disgusted, but the more he got to know you the more he knew you weren't so easily squeamish. Your love of horror and terrifying stuff in general might've been weird and off putting to many, but he loved that. You had that morbid curiosity in you, it just needed to grow to its full potential like when a cocoon turns into a butterfly. Though you weren't fond of bugs, you didn't completely despise them either. He thought maybe over time he could get you into the beauty and fascinating world of those little things. 

You also loved his dogs, German shepherds; he had a great taste in everything. Anyone loving animals as much as he did was a good person in and out. Asa used to be so childish around his dogs but at the same getting little annoyed when you spotted him.

“I like moths,” you told him once at a night ride through the city and he laughed for so long. 

Everyone loved butterflies if anything, but moths? Not so common. 

Oh, you were perfect.

Moths, the creatures of the dark and death, yet so fragile and beautiful. 

He was intrigued by you whole. In his eyes deep down you were just twisted as him, but unlike him you didn't let your creativity go free - yet. 

Despite all the tension and strong chemistry between you two since the very beginning, you didn't get physical till later on into dating. It meant way more to both of you, more intimate. Almost like you wanted to just fully enjoy the growing lust, enjoy every single bit of the act itself later. You've never felt so naked infront of anyone before like before Asa. It was so sensual, wild, but also incredibly sweet and romantic. He made you feel like you would crumble into pieces, your whole body shaking as he took care of you - in and out. He felt like exploding every time you touched him, the way you wanted him and lusted for his touch like no one ever did. The feeling that you needed him. 

You visited him at the college often, sneaking into his office room having fun often. Both his room and his house were full of colorful exotic insects, framed carefully behind a thick glass. It made you feel uneasy at first, especially all the giant spiders, which he found funny, but you got used to it pretty quick. They were quite fascinating after all, you had to admit. 

One day you decided to surprise him at his house. Knowing he was teaching till the evening, you timed it so you'd arrive at his place shortly before he would. Buying some snacks and wine on your way, it was unusually cold that evening especially as it was getting darker. You just hoped he wouldn't be late. 

Of course he was. 

You regretted not asking about his work that day even though it would ruin the surprise. With your ice cold hands turning white and purple ish, you checked the time again. Either you go home or use his spare key he told you about. Despite you being together and treating each other's houses as your own, it didn't feel quite right to you to just enter without him knowing. The dogs knew you already of course, not barking or growling, just tipping their little beans on the floor behind the door eager to greet you, their tails aggressively wagging. You waited a little longer anyway, but not seeing any sign of him and your legs starting to shake from the cold, you reached to the plant pot and dug up the key. 

A weird smell immediately filled your nose upon entering, making you gag and cover your face. A mixture of chlorine and alcohol that sat in the house as no windows were opened the whole day. You never smelled anything like that there and while thinking it was weird, you simply brushed it off. It must've been his etymology thing - sometimes he prepped his own display or cut them open to study them. After giving attention to the puppies, you prepared the snacks and wine on the table in his living room, still unable to get rid of the chlorine smell despite opening the windows for a while and decided to investigate. The density of it was stronger upstairs and near the basement. 

When will you be home?

You texted him and immediately received a response.

Work's busy today, it might take a while. Why?

I have a surprise for you.

I'll come as soon as I can. 

Asa squinted his eyes at the screen thinking about what surprise you had in mind. It didn't take him long to realize the reason you asked when he was about to be home was because you were waiting for him there - it was the most logical reason in his head.

“Fuck.” He let out through gritted teeth, jaws clenching together.

You just had to choose this exact day to come over. This exact day when he was working on his collection. He planned to show you his little hobby eventually, with your consent or without it - didn't matter. He was nearly certain you'd do it all willingly and be on his side, help him create the collection. He didn't even plan on actually falling for you when he saw you for the first time, but now that he wanted you to be part of his collection? Part of his journey? His life? 

Sitting in his van all in black with a custom balaclava mask on, a muffled screaming echoed from the back as he punched the wheel. Screams of a young woman stuck inside a little box - a second piece for his collection that week. The first box was already in his house, hidden in the basement with thickened walls in case anything went wrong. Asa did some work on the unfortunate man earlier that day after telling you he's at work. The guy made some mess and he had to clean it up, now wondering if the smell inside the house dissolved already. He turned his head to the back of the car and hissed loudly, making the muffled screams stop. 

Tonight was going to end only in two ways. He cursed silently and started the engine. 

When he arrived at the house and tires screeching cut the silence in the neighborhood, he saw a very faint warm light coming through the windows. Taking his mask off and running his hand over his eyes in an attempt to get rid of the black coloring, he rushed inside the house not thinking twice. The black around his eyes now smeared but still there and squeezing the mask in his fist, he looked like a maniac. Inside his house was quiet, nearly uncomfortably quiet. The table in the living room decorated with wine glasses, bowls of snacks and candles, giving the entire room the faded warm light he saw from outside. 

But where were you?

Your shoes were left right next to the door so you must've been still inside. The dogs didn't rush to the door to greet him - yes, they adored you, sometimes he was jealous. Asa stood still for a few minutes, carefully listening to any noise you or the dogs could make. His patience shortly after rewarded, he heard some faint rustling down below his feet as if a heavy object was being pushed around.

The box.

Rushing down to the basement stairs through the doors you left open before, he found you there exactly as he thought he would - trying to move the box around to open it. 

“Oh, you're here.. Do you smell it?” You said and inhaled the chlorine air again coming strong from the box. 

“I had to clean some mess in the morning. Thought it'd be gone by now,” Asa replied and laughed nervously. “Rather unfortunate the smell is still present. Can't just leave my windows opened while I'm gone.”

“It's horrible, I couldn't even get it out by opening the damn windows - arhh it's so heavy!” You finally let go of the box and looked up on him. “Oh wha- what's all that on your face?” 

He smeared his eyes again with his hands making them similarly black. You couldn't hold your laughter when you imagined it's one of those non washable body make-up and he would have to go to work with the black around his eyes. He laughed too, it must've looked comical without the mask on. 

“What's that?” You pointed at the balaclava in his hand.

“Ah -  nothing. Just a mask. Why don't we go upstairs and have a great night? As you planned?”

While that was your initial idea and the reason you came here, now that you discovered the smelly box you were dying to see what's the source of the awful stink. And why did he have a damn mask on top of all that?

“Yeah we'll go,” you nodded. “After I check the box.”

Reaching down towards the lock his hand flew to your arm to stop you, pulling you harshly backwards. He stood between you and the box now, walking towards you making you back off till your back was pressed against the wall. You let out a moan as the air got pushed out of your lungs. 

“Or how about we have a great time right now right here?” Asa's voice all low and whispery. 

“How about you put that mask on?” You smirked, not fighting him at all.

He grinned - of course you'd ask something like that, you fucked up little thing.

You felt how wet you were getting just from the way he held you locked in one place, his weight pressed against your hips. He placed his knee between your legs and brushed against your core, making you whine and already almost beg for more. Now with the mask on and the black paint covering any skin that'd be visible otherwise, he looked quite sinister - at the same time so hot. You didn't care about the chlorine smell anymore, you didn't care about the wine or snacks, you didn't care why even he was dressed like that with a balaclava. 

There was nothing else except you and him at that moment.

The whole set up and weirdness of the entire evening made the act between you two only stronger - you've never felt so eager to feel him before, not even the first time. To fill you up. There was something fishy about it all, but with each thrust of his - hitting your pelvic - the thoughts were disappearing; soon your mind just blank and your eyes unable to focus on anything. A chill running down your spine feeling his hot breath at your neck, his hands gripping you harder and harder with each sound you moaned out. He felt you slipping under him, his own legs getting shakey as he was close to finishing while you moaned yout his name.

God, you drove him crazy. 

He was so happy when you just passed out on the couch - time to finish his business silently. Couple glasses of wine should make sure you sleep deep. It was even colder outside now; his sweaty skin and clothes from before only made it worse. The second he opened the back of his van, the box shaked as the woman inside kicked around helplessly; yet she was silent other than that. A dose of narcotics made her body go fully limp. Asa chuckled to himself - her vocal cords were probably dead by this point. No one could hear her outside the van, as long as the cloth was deep down her throat; and he made sure it was. Yet, some people still tried to scream not realizing it's to no effect. He found it amusing, fascinating even. The lengths the human beings go when faced with pure survival. He wanted his subjects to obey, but not give up. 

Shuffling the box inside the house, he found you in the same position as he left you with your shallow, relaxed breathing. Tucking it right next to the other box in the basement, he locked the doors carefully, saving the key in his pocket. Tonight ended up differently than he planned at first, but it still met one of the scenarios he expected - you just not finding out anything.

You never asked him about that night, about the face paint, the mask, the boxes. The next day when you woke up they were all gone together with the smell. Asa himself never mentioned anything himself. Obviously. In his head, it didn't matter if you asked or not because eventually you'd knew about it all. When? Didn't really matter. He felt you were already ready nevertheless, but he was still waiting for the right moment. 

Days, weeks, months went by. 

When there was a chance, you two spent all your time visiting galleries or at his place. Sometimes you wondered if he gave up his hobbies except teaching since he had so much free time for you - not like you minded, you enjoyed every single minute of it. During that time, numerous TV news stations reported a serial killer on the loose as some missing people were found dead, again. He always laughed and said you were safe with him, nothing would ever happen to you when he's with you so why pay attention to the news? You didn't pay much attention to it at that time when it came on the news.

Not until the police knocked on your own apartment asking about Asa. 

“He was with me, yes. All the time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Excuse me?”

“It is known you two are in a relationship, ma'am. Don't cover for him.”

“I am not covering up for anyone. I'm telling you he was with me at that time. We were at the grand opening.”

“And what about here?”

“That was our date at the restaurant.”

“Alright.”

“What's going on? Why are you asking all these questions?”

“We can't share much details while the investigation is still going on.”

“Is it connected to the murders?”

“We can't -”

“So it is. You think Asa did it?!”

“Well, he is one of many suspects in this case. Anyway, that'll be all. Thank you for your time ma'am.”

Your mind circling back to that one night where you discovered the box, the chlorine smell. Asa with his mask dressed all in black, black paint around his eyes. The random times he had so much work and then almost none. The latex gloves you found in the trash later but didn't think twice about them. Grabbing the phone you were about to text him, but thought it'd be safer to just meet him face to face. The police could've been monitoring phone activity of both of you. You didn't even bat an eye at all the weird connections and the police coming to you - all you needed was to talk to Asa first.

Standing in front of his front doors, it took a while before he pulled up with his van. He gave you a confused look at why you were outside in the cold. Without a single word you just got in, taking the passenger seat and motioning to him to drive - and so he did. You didn't care where you were going. After a while you sighed and asked: “Did police contact you?”

He didn't seem surprised or anything. “No, why?” He replied casually as if you talked about the weather.

“They came to my apartment a few hours ago. Asking about you. Asking about where you've been on specific days and times.”

He was silent, focusing on driving. 

“Did you do something?” 

He clicked his tongue at the question as if he was annoyed. So that was it - the time he shares everything with you.

“They said you are one of possible suspects for the disappearances and murders,” you continued, gaze fixated on his unmoved side profile. 

He turned the wheel and stopped in front of a huge abandoned warehouse, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Loud barking started, echoing sharply through the silence of the night. The entire place was like a ruin, the building itself half destroyed. The barking got louder and louder and you saw two german shepherds running towards you, recognizing them immediately. 

“What are they doing here?” You asked and got out of the car to greet them. 

“I bring them with me when I'm working.”

You paused for a moment, your fingers buried within the dog’s fur. “Working?”

That uneasy feeling creeped up on you, realizing you might not know Asa as much as you thought you did. 

“Please-”

“Wanna see my collection?” Asa said suddenly and reached his hand out, which you took without hesitation. 

“I'm confused, you know.” You sighed and followed him, his dogs running around causally familiar with everything. It was their second home.

Despite everything, you trusted Asa. You loved him and always stood by his side and you didn't plan on changing that. Approaching a rusty metal door, you saw like 6 locks hanging at the frame - what could possibly be inside that it needed to be so safe? The dogs squeezed in and ran into the distance, disappearing down the hallway; they were certainly familiar with everything; so was Asa. Following the dog's path, the familiar chlorine smell hit your nose. It wasn't strong at first, but the deeper into the building you got, the stronger it smelled. 

“Is that blood?” You looked down on the floor. 

He remained silent, holding your hand tighter. The uneasy feeling shot through you again like a wave; putting the pieces of the puzzle together you started to think his hobby wasn't only etymology and art. Entering a well lit room, you felt like you walked into an ongoing mortuary. The room looked like a morgue, even having the freezer boxes in the wall. A bloody mess of what seemed like a woman before was spread across the silver table in the middle of the room. Your stomach didn't twist, nor did you jump. You just stood there with an emotionless face, observing. The longer you looked at the mashed redness the more you doubted it was actually a woman. 

Asa on the other hand observed you, his whole body tense and ready if you tried to do anything stupid. He was pleasantly surprised seeing you not panic or scream at the scene in front of you. Leading you to the shelves on the side, you were met with a bunch of live tarantulas inside glass jars. You shivered a little seeing the 8-legged freaks crawl inside and Asa couldn't help himself but laugh. 

“That's what gets you?” He kept laughing. 

Next to the spiders were more jars but filled with various body parts in a liquid. From eyes, tongues to fingers - you name it. Your heartbeat raised once your sight landed on a jar with a woman's head inside, more likely belonging to the bloody mess you've seen just a few seconds ago on the table.

Asa still waited, still doubted you were so nonchalant about everything - maybe you were only playing it. “So?” He whispered, not letting his eyes off you. 

You didn't say a word - you were speechless, as if in a tranz. Letting him lead you further into the warehouse, you were surprised how well maintained it actually was on the inside. He clearly spent a lot of time here. Finally you entered a big hall, followed by the dogs wagging their tails happily. The entire room had a blue tint, every bit of it filled with giant fish tanks full of - something.

“The Collection.” Asa said proudly and his hand flew across the tanks showcasing his artwork.

You had to admit - there was beauty in the morbidity. The creativity and sense of detail that went into every single corpse was phenomenal. There you were once again - losing yourself in art, forgetting the world around you existed, just like the day Asa laid his eyes on you. Torsos sewed together with 4 pairs of arms or more. Two headed legs. Half skinned people with their ribs decorated. You went from one tank to another. Some of the faces - if they had one - you even recognized from the news. 

“Beautiful,” you whispered, making him smile in delight.

He knew you were the one. Since the beginning.

Asa was never really touchy or cuddle type, but now he hugged you tightly and held you for so long, not wanting to let go. You were his masterpiece, the final piece to the collection that didn't need to be any modified to be perfect - just as you were. His collection was far from being finished though, but with you by his side? 

He felt like the collection was already whole.

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Epilogue

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: 18+ Smut (you know the drill) Fluff, Romantic Themes, Drinking / Alcohol (once more- it’s a bar) Pining, Harmless Bullying, Swearing, Wholesome Family Fun (which is crazy to say considering what’s coming next)

Smut Warnings: Kissing, Oral Sex, Hands going places, Penetrative Sex | they’re both switches - do with that what you will

Word Count: 10.6k

Summary: It’s the bar’s second anniversary and a certain couple’s first.

Author's Note: I bet you thought we were done here 😉 You already know that I couldn’t let this end that easily! I knew from the start that I would have an epilogue for you, but as I was working on it, I had a thought— luckily for you.. I wrote it in. If you notice the word count, this is astronomically long compared to the rest of the story; I decided to add basically a second chapter once I had the idea. (If you need to pause, there’s a definitive break that you could absolutely stop at! I’ll add a couple ***’s so you know when)

Consider the second half like a bonus chapter if you will 🥰

Anyway this is getting long, I love this story, these two, and you guys for loving them with me. I hope you giggle and kick your feet over this monster of a chapter 🖤 this is definitely not the last you’ll be seeing of these two, but for now, let’s just enjoy this together 🥹

Forever - Noah Kahan "I won’t be alone for the rest of my life, I’ll build a boat for when the river gets high."

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One year later.. 

“That’s okay; just drive safe, honey.” 

I tucked my phone back into my pocket, grabbed a few stray glasses, and rounded the corner behind the bar. Thankful that the bar isn’t busy at the moment, even though I know we’re mere seconds away from the chaos that’ll ensue. 

Deciding to keep the tradition, the bar is only open until eleven tonight because of the holiday. All of our regulars will still make it a point to stop by tonight since it’s the floating anniversary of the official opening. I know there’s an actual date that we opened, but letting it change with the holiday every year is more fun to me. 

It’s nice getting to spend a few hours just working with Josh while everyone else is wrapping up work or getting ready for tomorrow. It is funnier that they’ll all show up tonight, even though we’re about to spend the next two days together. 

“What happened?” Josh asks, leaning against the bar. 

I look over at him as I’m setting all the glasses into the dirty bin, telling him, “Oh, she’s fine,” and letting out a small laugh. “She hit traffic, but she’s almost here– just feels bad she’s ‘late.’ You know how Char is.” 

He chuckles to himself, “Oh, that silly girl must have forgotten that everybody and their cousin is driving today.” 

“I told her that I didn’t care when she got here anyway,” I tell him, giggling at the thought of her stressing over the time. “We have the whole weekend together; I’m not going to complain that she’s twenty minutes behind.” 

Josh just smiles back at me for a second before breathing out, “It’s sweet that she still wants to soak up all the time she can with you, though.” 

“I hit the jackpot with her for sure,” I let out quietly, checking the fridges to make sure everything was good. “Are you good for a minute? I just need to answer a few emails real quick.” 

He shoos me away to my office, where I’ve sat to do a few admin things before it gets busy or Charlotte shows up. I mindlessly read through a few emails that can wait until after the holiday weekend but then start writing back to the more important ones. I know that I could realistically do these after she’s here but the last thing I ever want to do is be this level of distracted from her. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past year, it’s that I love my job, but I love her more. 

I fell in love with Charlotte within three weeks, and she’s only proven to me that it was the greatest thing I could have let myself do. Despite the fact that we don’t live very close to each other, the days we aren’t physically together fly by. It still lets her have some independence, even though I would have asked her to move in the day we started dating. I’m so used to the chaos that I don’t think she could ever bother me. 

Not that I have the most experience with relationships, but I would say that she is probably the most incredible girlfriend that exists. I still feel like I’m dreaming most days; the only downside is when she’s upset, and I can’t get to her fast enough. Not exactly proud of the few times that I’ve almost left the bar because she sounded a little too sad saying she missed me on the phone. 

“Hi baby,” Char’s voice rings through my office. 

“There she is,” slips out as I whip my head over to her. Quickly standing up, reaching for her hands as I got closer, I said, “I missed you.” 

“I swear nobody knows how to drive today,” she tells me in between kisses. “Literally, everybody just kept slowing down even though nothing was happening!” 

Chuckling at her, it’s precious when she’s worked up like this. Kissing her forehead gently before telling her, “Breathe honey, it’s over. You made it.”  

 “I know– you’re right,” She breathes out before quietly asking, “You’re sure your parents don’t mind me being here for Thanksgiving?”

“I think my mom would explode if you didn’t,” I told her. “Plus, I wouldn’t want you to spend the weekend alone.”

“I still don’t know what possessed my parents to plan a vacation during the holidays, but” she rolls her eyes with a laugh but squeezes my hands when she tells me, “I’m much happier to spend them with you.”

Kissing her a few more times before saying, “I’m just excited to have you here all weekend.” 

Pulling her out into the bar, sitting in the booth that the rest of the family will stake claim over later. She sat across from me, telling me about her day since we were both fairly busy and hadn’t gotten to talk much throughout the day. 

“Oh!” She pipes up. “I found this, and I thought you might enjoy it.” She hands me a folder with random paperwork, and I just look at her with my eyebrow raised. She giggles quietly, “Look at the corners, babe.” 

I start reading all her little notes. This is what she was doing the whole time. Every page with the margins filled with little intrusive thoughts she must have been having; ‘hands, hands, hands,’ ‘pretty mouth,’ ‘he’s so cute I could cry.’ Random hearts surrounded some of them, with my name written out in cursive every few pages, like a girl in elementary school.  

Thinking of all the times I would glance over at her, she would just be scribbling things down with a little smirk on her face. Or the way she would tuck pages away when she saw me coming over. 

My heart swelled, seeing that she had been secretly feeling the same way. It always felt like there was something more than ‘friends with benefits,’ but I was so afraid to get my hopes up. I chuckle to myself,  breathing out, “I love you so much.” 

Met with silence– we haven’t actually said that to each other yet. Not that I didn’t want to, but we both just nervously danced around it. My eyes darted up to her, realizing what I said. 

Her eyes are wide, “.. Jake.” I close the folder and set it in front of us. Shit. You’ve made it a whole year without letting it slip; that’s impressive enough, right? 

“Char,” I start; it probably is about time I finally told her. “It sounds insane, but I’ve basically loved you since the day you walked in.” 

She slowly blinked at me, “What do you mean? How?” 

It truly feels like I have to just come clean with it at this point, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you after you left that day; something about you just stuck with me.” 

“I felt like I ruined your whole day. You definitely seemed like you were panicking?” 

“Oh, I was,” I laugh. “But I thought about you every day until you came back.” 

“But—” she hesitates, looking down at the table for a second. “I cried in front of you, literally the second time we actually saw each other.” 

I nod at her, “Oh, I know.” 

“And I lied to you..” 

“Hun,” I start, grabbing her hand. “I would do it all over again a million times if it meant I got you at the end of it.”

She just stares at me, and I watch her eyes as tears creep in. She looks up, trying to fight the inevitable.

I reach up, knocking the little tears off her cheeks like always, before telling her, “You don’t have to say it back. Don’t feel like you have to. I’ll gladly wait until–” 

She cuts me off with a quiet, “I love you.” 

The sound of it practically knocks the wind out of me; I knew from the beginning that she would probably take a while to say it in general or even just say it back because she was so hesitant about her feelings. I never wanted to pressure her into it, even though a year ago, with us standing out in the snow, I knew I was in love with her. 

I slide out of my seat, take two steps to be next to her, squat down, and grab both of her hands. 

“Can I say something to you? I don’t expect anything from you after,” I ask, looking up at her.  

“Of course.” 

I look at her for a split second before I finally let it out, “I’m so, so in love with you, Charlotte. I’ve been waiting for you to feel comfortable saying it because I never want to overwhelm you or push you away. I can’t imagine life without you at this point; you mean everything to me, honey.”

Her eyes are so soft, and her lip quivers a little as she looks back at me. She whispers, “You’re gonna make me cry.” She leans down to me, leaving a few gentle kisses on my lips. 

“And you are far more than I could have ever dreamt of,” She says with a little sniff as she fights back the tears. “I’ve never known a love like yours. Some days I still don’t believe you’re real and that I’m lucky enough that you keep me around even when I’m such a pain in your ass.” 

“You’re my favorite pain in the ass, though,” I tell her, kissing her knuckles gently. My heart is pounding as she’s telling me the sweetest things; it feels unbelievable that she feels the same way. 

Her little giggle blesses my ears before she keeps going, her voice still breaking as she tells me, “I hate that you had to be let down so many times, but I’m so glad that every girl fumbled you, so now, I get you to myself.”

“I’ll be yours for as long as you’ll keep me,” I whisper to her, watching as her chin quivers. She let out a small ‘oh’ as her hand flew up to cover her mouth. Rubbing her legs for a second until she pulls me into a hug. 

I kiss the side of her head before mumbling, “Happy anniversary, hun.”  Leaning back and carefully wiping the tears from under her eyes, trying not to mess up her makeup. Quietly cooing, “Oh, my beautiful girl.”

“Baby, shhhh,” she laughs, looking up to try and avoid more tears. 

I chuckle to myself, letting out, “Oh, I’m sorry. I meant, my absolute knockout—“

Her laugh cuts me off, which I would let happen any day—anything to see her smile. 

I feel a tap on my back, bringing me back to real life. I turned, and honestly, I should have known. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” my mom’s voice rings through the bar. Josh got it from somewhere. Her arms wrapped me in a hug, rocking me back and forth. 

“I’m excited to see you too,” I laugh. She pulls back, brushing the hair out of my face like she always does, just staring at me for a second. 

Her eyes soften as we look at each other; she looks like she wants to say something but holds it back. That’s weird. Gently moving me to the side, her excited voice is back, “Don’t think I didn’t see you!” Charlotte quickly stands up, also getting pulled into a hug. 

“Mmmm, my other sweetheart,” she says, Char’s giggling as she gets the same treatment from my mom. “I missed you two.” 

My parents immediately loved her when they met. Whether it was because they were so excited that I finally found someone or because Char is an incredible girl, who knows? Mom was especially over the moon about her when she discovered that they both enjoy baking and reading. 

I was nervous at the idea of them meeting her, especially when we had barely even figured out what we were doing. But, the moment we walked into the house where they were staying, it went away. We took turns grabbing each other's hands for comfort because it was all still so fresh. It probably seems wild to introduce someone to your parents two days into the relationship, but I’ve never been so sure about someone. 

My dad’s arm slides around my shoulders, pulling me into him for a second. 

“Hey bud,” his voice is way calmer. “I see you’ve lost them.” He chuckles. I glance over as the two of them are fully in conversation, to the point that my mom has stolen my seat. 

“Looks that way, huh?” I laugh, hugging him back. Nodding towards the bar, I ask, “Want a drink?”

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My dad kept us entertained for a bit as he sipped his drink, telling us about the trip to get here. They seem to have the worst luck with flying. I take the chance to slip out from behind the bar, and I sneak off into my office, pulling out my phone, but I quickly get distracted when I hear my mom’s voice. 

“How are you doing sweets?”

I look over at her; she’s leaning against the door frame, her eyebrows raised. I tell her, “Curious about what you didn’t say to me earlier if we’re being honest.”

“You saw that, huh?” She scrunches her nose at me. I move closer to her so she won’t have to be loud. Her hand taps my chest a couple of times, letting out, “I forget how observant you are.” 

“Mhm,” I hum back. “So, spill. What is it?”

She lets out a little sigh, “I’m not gonna be able to get through this.” Her eyes welled up almost instantly, “Being in love looks good on you, Sweetheart.”

“Oh?”

She grabs one of my hands and tells me, “I can just see how happy you are when you’re with her.” A tear sneaks out as she looks at me. “I’m just so glad you found someone who loves you the way you deserve.”

Squeezing my hand a few times, “You’ve always been the sweetest of the three of you.” She pauses to look up, trying to stop the tears. “I knew how badly you just wanted to find someone.” 

“Mom,” I whisper, wiping her face off gently. 

“I'm sorry—I'm just so proud of you. Between the bar and taking care of her, I just feel so lucky to watch the young man that you’ve become.”

My arms wrap around her, rubbing her back a little before mumbling, “Love you.” 

“Love you, too.” She whispers before asking, “Why are you hiding in here?”

I lean back, smiling as I tell her, “Wanted to see if something got delivered.” 

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As I’m helping run some drinks to people for Josh, I hear Against The Wind by Bob Seger playing throughout the bar. Dropping the fresh drinks off to the table, I turn around to see one of Chuck’s friends about to sit at the bar with an empty seat next to him. He must be waiting for him. 

He’s an older gentleman; he definitely looks like he would have been a sailor of sorts. The idea hits me— where is my girlfriend? I think to myself, chuckling at what’s going to happen. 

“Char- honey,” I yell to her as I walk over to the table; she’s sitting with Quinn, Willa, and Sam- the usual, but Mom is with them tonight. 

Her eyes light up as I get closer, looking up at me, oh god,  I’m such an ass. She lets out a quiet “Hi.” 

Sliding into the booth next to her, my arm pulling her close to me. I point to the man, whispering to her, “Remember how I told you about the Old Port Pirate?” 

“Shut up,” her hand flew up to cover her mouth. “Babe, you actually weren’t lying?” 

I just shake my head, “Do you hear what’s playing right now?”

Looking at me with wide eyes, her jaw drops when she realizes, “Oh my god, it’s Bob.” 

She’s so cute, wow. I quietly laugh before letting out, “And you didn’t believe me.” Shaking my head subtly, she will probably kill me if she finds out that he isn’t actually the pirate. 

She leans close, kissing my cheek; the feeling of her lips on me still makes my heart skip. Her face lingers close to mine for a second, and she quietly says, “I’m sorry, baby. I won’t doubt you anymore.” 

She can never find out. 

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Glancing around the table, my mom has Sam and Willa entirely focused on whatever she’s telling them about, and Quinn has disappeared to the bar to talk to Josh. I steal a sip of Char’s drink, realizing it’s practically just water at this point, but before I get up, I have to tease her a little bit. If she thought I didn’t catch some of the little things she wrote down, she is sorely mistaken. 

“So, I did see in your little notes that you think my ass is,” I pause to clear my throat dramatically, “Cute enough to take a bite out of?”

“The heart wants what it wants,” she breathes out, a soft smile forming. Her hand reached up to fix a piece of my hair that was flopped to the wrong side. 

I lean in closer to her, whispering, “If you wanted to eat my ass, honey— all you had to do was ask.”

She barks out a laugh, whisper-yelling, “JACOB, WE’RE IN PUBLIC.” Her eyes darted over towards my mom and back to me. 

“All I'm saying is communication is important in a relationship, and you already know I won’t say no to you,” I tell her, shooting her a wink as I stand up from the booth. “I’ll get you a fresh drink.” 

“Wait—“ Her hand catches mine before I can grab her glass, tugging me to her. She gently kisses me, holding my jaw and wiping my lip off after. If she only knew, I literally couldn’t be bothered if she left any sort of lipstick, gloss, whatever on me—but it’s adorable that she does it, so I’ll never tell her. She quietly lets out, “I love you, baby.” 

“Mmm, I don’t think I'll ever get tired of hearing that,” I mumble against her lips, kissing her once more before telling her, “I love you.”

I wander behind the bar to grab her some water; she’s been alternating all night, so she “doesn’t feel like dying” tomorrow. Before I can bring it back to her, Mel grabs it from me. 

“I’m basically done for the night; I can deliver it for you,” she laughs out. 

Glancing over at the time, it is nearly closing time already. I look back over at her, “You can be free. I’ll let Danny go too if you guys want to get home.” 

“You’re the best,” she shoots me a little smile, dropping off Char’s water and immediately sliding into the booth with everyone. 

I start picking up a little after Josh, which is fine because he has been hustling around for a bit now. But I feel his presence behind me as I’m wiping down some glasses to put back. 

“Meant to tell you– I grabbed our mail earlier..” Josh mumbles to me. Quietly, he asks, “Did you buy a ring?”

“Mhm,” I hum back, turning to him. 

He glances over at Char before asking, “Is it..?”

I just nod, watching his eyes light up. 

Immediately, he tears up, letting out a quiet, “Oh my god—“ 

“Don’t cry,” I giggle. “I don’t know when it’ll happen; I just wanted to be ready. “

His hands landed on my arms, whispering, “I’m so happy for you.” 

“Thank you,” I whisper back. 

He just stares at me for a second, “She really is a good one.” 

I look over at her as she hugs our Mom for probably the hundredth time today. Sitting with all our closest friends and family like she’s been here forever. They really took her in so quickly, which, given the situation when we met, was the most incredible thing they could have done. My eyes shift back to Josh, smiling as I tell him, “I think I’ll keep her around.” 

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After saying our goodnights to the entire family practically, Char sat in her typical spot at the bar. Even after a year, nothing has changed with how we function. Whenever she comes down here for the weekends, she’ll just sit at the end of the bar if I have to close and pester me the entire time. And I would never ask for anything else. 

“Will you make my drink?” She asks, batting her eyelashes at me. Like, I would say no. 

“Well,” I glanced over at her, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re in luck; I’m the only option.”

Quickly mixing everything together for her, I bring it over. Carefully setting it in front of her, but not without leaning over the bar to give her a quick kiss. 

“The service here is exceptional,” she tells me, laced with a slight laugh. 

My eyebrows raise as I tell her, “You’re the only one getting that level of customer service.” 

“I’ve seen the way you talk to Eleanor,” she taunts. 

My eyes roll at her comment; I point at her as I whisper-yell, “DON'T START WITH ME.” Unable to keep the smirk hidden away. 

“I’m not jealous! She was here first,” she says, holding her hands up while giggling away. 

“You shouldn’t be jealous.” 

“Oh, I’m not at all,” she tells me matter-of-factly. Casually sipping her drink as she looked me up and down.  

“Good,” I laugh out, folding my arms across my chest as I watch her. “What’s with that look?”

She waves her hand, making me move closer to her. She so casually whispers, “Just— I love that I’m watching you mix drinks and be silly, but you'll also make it hard to walk tomorrow.” 

My head drops, taking a deep breath. This girl's favorite hobby is making me sweat, I swear. “Jesus Christ,” I laugh out. Pulling my wrist up to check my watch, “What time do we close?” 

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“Wait right here,” I tell her, quickly walking into my room to grab the gift I got her. Pulling the little bag from my closet and the flowers that I had sitting in water on my nightstand, I make my way back to her, mumbling, “These are for you.”

She pouts her lip, looking at me, “Jacob, you’re so sweet.” 

Kissing me before she looks in the bag, a little smile lacing her lips as she realizes. Pulling out the book she’s been eyeing every time we go to the store, with a few little things that I found at her favorite thrift store down here. 

“You’re too much,” she lets out quietly, setting everything back in the bag. “Thank you.”

I lean against the counter, and I look at her, quietly letting out, “Josh went to Quinn’s for the night so we could have the apartment to ourselves.” 

“Well,” She says, her hands sliding up my chest as she leans into me. “Isn’t that just sweet of him?” 

I hum back, letting my arms drape around her hips, “Mhmm.” 

“Get to show my baby how much I love him,” she breathes out. Her lips pressed into my throat quickly. 

I looked up for a second before asking her, “What has gotten into you?” 

“Hopefully, you in a minute,” the sultry tone of her voice made my knees weak. 

“Holy shit, hun,” I breathe out. “A bit needy, are we?” 

She nods, quickly kissing my jaw before letting out,  “I’m sorry, you’re just sooo—” She leans back, the look in her eyes making my heart race. 

“Is that right?” I pop my eyebrow at her, watching the goosebumps flood her skin. 

“Mhm,” she hums back. Pulling her lip in with her teeth gently before telling me, “Hot enough that I’d eat your ass or whatever.” 

My head falls back as I laugh, not expecting her to bring that up. Managing to tell her, “I love you so much.” 

“Mmmm, we really should have started saying that sooner,” she pauses to laugh for a second. “Hearing you say that makes you even hotter.” 

My hands slide to the backs of her thighs, picking her up and setting her on the counter. Moving in between her legs, but her skirt made it difficult to get close.  

“What about when I do this?” I ask quietly, pushing her skirt up so it sits around her hips. Her jaw drops slightly as she looks at me. I can see the way her breathing is already a little heavy. I lean down, kissing her legs, covered with her tights. Gently, I work my way up her thigh until I notice that I can see right through them as I get closer to her hips. I push her legs a little further apart– did she not..? 

I can’t stop myself from smiling against her. My hands slide up her legs, lightly letting my fingers rub over her clit through her tights as I look up at her.  

“You tryin’ to kill me?” I breathe out. “No panties?”

I watch the pink come up in her cheeks as she bites her lip.  

“Lay back for me,” I whisper between kisses against her hip. 

As she leans back on the counter, I hold her hips, pulling her to the edge, grabbing at the waistband of her tights, pulling them down her legs quickly. I kiss the inside of her ankle slowly, leaving wet kisses up her thighs until I get too close. Resting my lips against her pubic bone, I slowly smile against her skin, knowing it’ll drive her crazy. 

“Jake, please,” she whines. Didn’t take long at all. 

I ask quietly, “What do you want?” 

Pressing my lips against her clit gently and then just hovering, letting my breath hit her. 

“Mmm,” she hums out.  

“Oh, you want this?” I taunt her, flattening my tongue against her clit. Lapping at it a few times, pulling a loud moan out of her. My hands still hold her hips as my tongue is practically spelling her name, listening to the sweet sounds that pour out of her. I wrap my lips around her clit for a second, lightly sucking in. 

“Baby, oh my god,” she moans out. 

I hum into her, sliding my hand up to her chin, glancing up at her, tapping her lip a few times until she opens her mouth. I slide my middle and ring finger in, and she wraps her lips around them. Swirling her tongue around them as she moans from the way my mouth is moving.

One of her hands knitted themselves into my hair, and the other held my arm. I carefully pull my hand back from her when she lets out a louder moan, slipping them right into her. ‘Yes’ and ‘Fuck’ litter the air as I push them into her a few times.   

She props herself up, and I stand, leaning in to kiss her and start to pump my fingers faster inside her. She’s holding the back of my neck like it’s her lifeline. Adjusting my arm so my palm is flat against her clit, I curl my fingers up into that spot. 

“Jake, oh my god,” She moans into my mouth

I look at her for a second before whispering, “Soak my fingers, honey.” 

Immediately feel her hands grip my shirt, and the moans start falling out of her mouth. I can hear how wet she is and the way she’s starting to tense up on me. Leaning down, dragging my tongue along her, feeling her heartbeat. Looking back up at her as she breathes heavily, god, she is beautiful. 

“Jake.. baby.. oh.. oh my god, baby..” she mumbles under her breath as she gets closer. Her voice rises as she lets out a loud “Jacob.” That’s my favorite sound. 

Standing back up, her eyes flutter shut as she relaxes against me.  Her face is lying on my shoulder. 

“Come back to me, honey,” I whisper in her ear before kissing her cheek. 

She sits back as I pull my hand from her, “I wanna see something,” she whispers, grabbing my hand that was just inside her. Tugging it up, muttering a quiet  “Open.” 

Sliding my fingers into my own mouth, swirling my tongue around them, tasting her on me. I can feel my cock twitch. I don’t know what she’s doing to me, but it’s working. Her jaw dropped at the sight, and I let out a little groan just to really rile her up. 

“God, you’re so sexy, babe.” 

I can feel my face warm, giggling at her compliment. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the way she treats me.

“Come on,” I tell her, holding my hands out to help her down. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she swung me around. 

“Not so quick, handsome,” She giggles, pushing me gently against the counter. She unbuttons my pants quickly and tugs them down just enough. Her hand pulled my cock from my boxers and slid it into her mouth in one smooth motion.   

My hands gently held her head as she moved further down the length of it. Fighting every urge to let my hips thrust into her. The moment her nose barely grazed my stomach, my head fell back. How is she mine? When it starts to feel a little too good, I lightly tap her shoulders. Holding my hands out to help her up, I make her trade spots with me again, her back against my chest as I tuck my face into her. 

 “Can you bend over for me?” I whisper into her ear.  “Need to feel you.” 

She eagerly leans onto the counter; I drop down, licking a wide stripe up the center of her one more time, with my hands hooking around her hips so I can grab her ass. Leaving a little kiss against her before standing back up.  

I slip into her, letting out a little groan as I do. Even after a year, it still blows my mind how good she feels. Slowly rocking my hips into her, my grip on her hips tightening with every thrust. My hand slipped down, grabbing at her and pulling her back to me quickly. 

She moans quietly, “Baby, you feel so good.” 

My heart pounds at the sound. I start moving faster, fucking her harder. Listening to all her little sounds as I do. Without thought, my hand moves from her hip, coming down against her asscheek with a loud crack. The moan that came out of her practically made my mouth water but also made my face heat up, and grinned as I leaned down, kissing between her shoulder blades.

“You like that?” I mumble against her. 

Letting out a small “Yes.” 

“Mmm,” I hum out. “My sweet girl.” Slowing my hips down, tapping her sides gently. 

I mutter, “Come with me,” as I’m pulling her into the bedroom. 

I unzipped her skirt so it fell to the floor as she unbuttoned my shirt, pushing it off my shoulders. Her hands moved to push my pants down as I grabbed the bottom of her sweater, pulling it over her head. She pushes me back towards the end of my bed, gently pushing me to sit down. 

She unclasps her bra, letting it slide down her arms until her tits are on full display. “Fuck me, you’re so hot,” I let out as I watch her toss the bra onto the floor. 

She crawls into my lap and slips my cock back into her. Her lips pressed into me as she sat down. Rolling her hips against mine as we made out. My hands just run all over her, taking her in as she makes herself feel good.   

When I feel her start to move up, my hands move to hold just under her ass. Helping lift her up, watching her tits bounce as she rides me. 

Her hands hold onto my shoulders for support; as she leans in close to my ear, she mumbles, “Baby, your cock is sooo-” My hips jerk up as she tells me, making her moan at the feeling.  

My hands still holding tight onto her ass as she rides me. I just take her in as she writhes against me, my grip on her tightening a little. Her eyes meet mine quickly, the way her pupils dilate as she stares at me. 

Her sweet voice whispered, “Do it again.” 

My eyebrows pull together until her hand reaches down, tapping my wrist a few times, with a devious little smirk on her lips. OH. 

She rolls her hips against me a few times when I pull my hand back, bringing it back down against her quickly. The sound mixed with the moan she let out— I could get used to that. 

She moans out, “Fuck me, Jake.” 

One of my arms wraps around her waist, holding her close to me as I stand up. I lay her down against my pillows, still sitting between her legs; I lean over, grabbing a condom quietly. I know I won’t last long at this point, so I lean down and start dancing my tongue around her clit. Listening to her moans get higher pitched, her hands grabbing at my hair as she gets close. I plunge my fingers back into her, looking up at her when I say, “Tell me how good it is, honey.” 

Her jaw drops, and the grip on my hair is strong as I work her through her orgasm; the sound of her voice as she comes makes me weak.  

Sitting up on my knees, keeping one hand lightly rubbing her thigh, stroking myself a few times. I slide the condom on as she comes down, just watching her for a minute until she looks back at me. 

I slip back into her, leaning down and kissing her slowly. Feeling the way her breathing is still heavy, she lets out a happy little “mmm” against me. 

Starting to move my hips, I just look down at her. That’s my girl, my gorgeous girl. My heart starts to race as I take her in when I let out a quiet “I love you.” 

Her hands grab my face, pulling me into her. She kisses my top lip gently, the tip of my nose, and lingers her lips against my forehead when she whispers back, “I love you, baby.” 

We stay in this slow pace, littering kisses all over. Her hands basically touch any part of me that she can reach, as if she just wants to feel closer. Cradling her head in my hands, I just stare at her as my hips gently rock into her. 

God— she’s mine, I think to myself. She’s genuinely the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, and I get to have all of her for myself. My hips start to move faster at the thought. 

Leaning down close to her, I tuck my face into her neck, breathing her in. My pace picks up again; she’s mine. The thought makes me smile against her skin. 

“Fuck—mmm…” I groan; I can feel my orgasm starting to build. Snapping my hips into her a little harder,  “mine” slips out, and my eyes go wide. 

Until she whispers back, “Yes baby, I’m all yours.” My heart pounds at the fact she’s encouraging it. 

“Say it again,” I tell her, my voice a little louder. 

“I’m yours,” she breathes out in a moan. 

My eyes roll back a little at the sound, fuck.  

“Come on, Jake, show me how much you love me,” she tells me. My breathing starts to pick up, letting out little whimpers when I exhale. 

She keeps going; her voice is making everything so much more intense. Whispering, “I know you’re close; let me have it.” 

Feeling her legs wrap around me, Fuck— she’s so hot. She holds my face gently, moving me so her lips are just hardly hovering over my ear when she lets out, “Come, baby,” in the sexiest tone I’ve ever heard. 

My orgasm hits me like a freight train, moaning out, “Char—“ 

A minute goes by; she’s just running her hand through my hair, letting me cuddle into her. One of her hands slid down to just gently scratch my back; this is heaven. 

“Feel good, babe?” She asks quietly. 

I just hum back, “Mmmm.. mhm.” 

I can feel her kiss the side of my head a few times, so I lazily kiss her neck. Slowly but surely, I prop myself up to look at her. 

“Come with me?” 

She giggles, moving the hair out of my face. “Where are we going?” 

“I just want to shower real quick,” I tell her, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. My voice gets quiet when I let out, “But.. I want you to be there.” 

She leans up, kissing my cheek, “Okay.” 

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We both stand there in the shower, letting the warm water hit us. I’m just trying to prevent her from getting her hair wet so she can worry about it in the morning. But being able just to hold her for a few extra minutes was perfect. 

She leaned back and looked at me. Her voice was quiet, “Do you want to know when I realized I loved you?” 

“Of course,” I say with a small laugh. 

She smiles at me, her arms sliding around my neck, “Well, you know the one night that we went out together?” 

I laugh before saying, “Hun, we’ve done that a lot in the past year.”

“Oh, true,” she starts, giggling. “When we went on the unspoken date— we were still pretending we didn’t like each other that much.” 

“Yes, absolutely,” I laugh with her this time. “I was incredibly obsessed with you at that point, but yes, continue.”

Her face got a little red at my comment, but she finally told me, “When you were singing to me and making me dance with you— all I could think was how I could spend forever watching you just be happy like that.” 

“Forever’s a long time,” I whisper, my eyebrows raised at her with a little smile. 

She leans in close, whispering back, “Not long enough with you.” 

She is my wife; I’ll make sure of it. 

After spending a couple of minutes struggling to breathe while we made out, we were finally crawling back into bed. We lay there talking for a bit before she started to fall asleep. 

I can’t help but kiss the top of her head as she drifts off, mumbling into her, “I love you so much.” 

She looks up at me, her eyelids heavy, mumbling back, “I love you.” 

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Thanksgiving Day

Listening to the shower run and the random splashes from her washing her hair, I sneak into Josh’s room. Grabbing the package and quickly opening it. The small velvet box creaks as I open it. An oval cut diamond sparkles back at me, little clusters of diamonds sit on either side, and a dainty gold band. I hope she likes it. 

I’ve spent the last year watching her when we’re at stores where there’s jewelry or the occasional glance when I see her scrolling on her phone. She’s never been pushy about anything happening; granted, we just told each other, ‘I love you.’ But she is my little romantic lady, and I’ve watched her zoom in on ring posts, figuring out the things she likes.  I can’t wait to call her my wife one day. 

I wander back into my room, tucking it behind a few things on the shelf in my closet. Knowing she’s too small to get to it and chuckling to myself at the thought of her trying. 

The water shuts off, so I make my way to the bathroom to be a menace. Slowly opening the door, peeking in as she’s wrapping herself up with the towel. 

“Shit— I missed it.”

“Sorry, babes,” she sighs. “Gotta move quicker next time.” 

“I’ll wait,” I giggle. Watching her rub various products into her face. She keeps peeking over at me as I just lean against the counter. She’s so fucking beautiful. 

“Are you really just going to watch me get ready?” She asks through a laugh. 

I just nod at her, “What else could I be doing?” 

She steps over to me, giving me a kiss with a little grin on her face. 

“I’ll make you a deal.” 

My eyebrow pops up instantly, “I’m listening.”

“If you bring me a fresh cup of coffee, I’ll drop the towel,” she tells me with a little wink. 

My eyes widen at the proposition, and no words come out as I scramble to the kitchen to make her more coffee. I’ve never set up the coffee pot faster. 

Practically prancing back to the bathroom with coffee for both of us, holding hers out to her. I’m sure I look like a kid on Christmas, but when your girlfriend is as gorgeous as mine, it’s hard not to be excited. 

She takes it from me, sipping on it quickly, “Mmm.. thank you.” She tilts her head back with her lips already in a cute little pout, waiting for a kiss. I set my mug on the counter, cupping her jaw before kissing her. I feel the towel hit my feet, and the smile that creeps onto my face makes it hard to keep kissing her. 

“Have I told you that you’re the best?” I giggle against her lips. Backing up a little to take her in, I still get butterflies whenever I look at her. She looks at me through the mirror, my smirk selling me out before I can even ask her, “What if we just ditched my family and you stay like this instead?” 

“I think you’d like that a little too much,” she laughs as I wiggle my eyebrows at her. “Plus, your mom would never let you hear the end of it.”

“She already loves you. You don’t have to be on her side, you know?” 

“I’m just trying to save you from another sex lecture from her, baby,” she tells me, a shitty little smirk on her lips. I never should have told her about what my mom said; she’s teased me ever since because almost nothing is worse than to have your mom, of all people, talk to you about your sex life, especially as an adult.  

“Speaking of,” I start, knowing she’s going to yell at me for what I’m about to say. But it’s a little too fun to get her going. Fighting a smirk as I tell her, “If we sleep there, you’re gonna need to control yourself. I know it might be hard for you—“ 

“Excuse me?” She cuts me off. “You’re going to look at me right now and tell me that I have no self-control?” 

I let out a loud laugh as she stared at me. 

“Jake, be so serious,” trying to hold in her laugh, she rolls her eyes at me as she clips her hair up out of her way. 

“You’re right,” I tell her. “But, honey,” I move closer to her, sliding my hands around her waist, “How am I supposed to have self-control when you look like this?” Pressing a kiss into her shoulder. Letting my hands wander up, cupping her breasts and letting my thumbs run over her nipples lightly. 

Her head leans back against me, “Babe, you’re proving my point,” she whispers. She turns her face, kissing my cheek before looking back into the mirror to finish putting her makeup on. “Let me finish getting ready, and I’ll take care of you later, promise.” 

My eyes shoot up, and my hands drop to her hips. I hold them as I meet her stare in the mirror. I can see the red creep into my cheeks as she winks at me. 

“Char—“

“You’ll just have to stay quiet for me,” she says, immediately followed by her little giggle. 

My head drops back because I know I’m blushing hard at this point, “Oh, shut up.” I slap her ass as I move back to my spot, grabbing my coffee and sipping on it as she laughs at me. 

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After watching her eyes light up when she picks out what she wants me to wear. She insisted that we coordinate at least since it’s really the first holiday we’re spending together, and my mom is notorious for taking pictures of everyone throughout the day. 

She always looks good, but I can’t stop staring at her as we walk down to the car. In an oversized cream sweater with her tights and boots, she looks precious, especially so when she’s got her hand wrapped around my arm as we walk—opening her door for her and letting her get comfortable. I toss our bag into the back seat as I make my rounds to the driver’s side. 

Instinctually, I just hand my phone to her so she can pick music. It’s adorable how she tries to find songs that we both like, even though I don’t think I would question anything she puts on. 

Reaching over, she quickly slips her hand into mine. Spending the rest of the drive listening to whatever she picks and the little giggles that come out of her as she scrolls through things on her phone.

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“You ready for the chaos?” I whisper as I throw the car in park. 

She’s gotten more used to spending time with everyone, but adding my parents in is a different beast entirely. They all mean well; it’s just a lot of people with loud personalities.

She leans over to kiss me, whispering, “It’ll be fun.” 

I grab our stuff from the backseat, and as she comes around, I hold my hand out for her. Carefully walking up the dirt driveway, my parents are always choosing different Airbnbs to stay in, and this one is just in the woods this time. As we get up to the door, I turn around to look at her. 

“One more,” I mumble, leaning in to kiss her again. Her little smile against me made everything better. Knocking on the door behind me as I left a few small pecks on her lips. Hearing someone walking towards us, I pull away from her. The last thing I’m going to do is mildly embarrass her right away. 

“LOTTIE,” Quinn’s voice made me jump. 

They squeal and hug as if they don’t see each other almost every day, if not at least talking. They’ve become incredibly close over the past year, which probably doesn’t help that we’re all in the apartment often enough. 

“Which of my babies is that?” My mom’s voice carries from a different room. Waiting for her to come in, knowing exactly what’s going to happen. “Oh my goodness! Don’t you look so cute!” She pulls Char into a hug, and here we go. 

“Thank you,” Char’s sweet giggle laced it. “It already smells amazing in here.” 

“Oh, you’ll have to come see what I’m baking– actually, I may have you help me if you want,” Mom tells her, her eyebrows raised, knowing that Char isn’t going to say no to baking. 

“Ooooo! Yes, please!” 

We’ve been here for two minutes, and I’ve already lost her to my mom. This may be record timing. 

“Hi, Sweetheart, I didn’t forget about you,” Mom coos as she comes over to me, glancing at my outfit. “She dressed you, didn’t she?” 

I just nod, hugging her. Mumbling to her, “Where should I put our bag?” 

“Whichever room you want,” she tells me, “I’m just so happy you’re gonna stay the night.” Her hand patted my chest a few times.

I smile at her, “Of course.” She just looks at me, tucking my hair behind my ear before turning back to steal Char away. 

Wandering down the hall and choosing one of the rooms to throw our stuff in. Feeling a little insane as I just smile to myself, but every time we do something for the first time like this, it’s like I’m falling in love with her all over again.  

“Well, well, well,” Josh’s voice rings from behind me. 

I whip my head around, “Surprised you’re not out there with everyone?” 

“I was kicked out of the kitchen,” he tells me. “Apparently, they don’t agree with my ‘creative decisions’ or something.” Rolling his eyes as he folds his arms over his chest. “So, I’m going to force you to hang out with me instead.” 

“Ahh,” I let out, laughing quietly. “Just like when we were kids.” 

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We found ourselves sitting in the living room with our dad as the parade was starting on TV. Just catching up with him until we hear the front door open, knowing that it must be Sam. Listening to our mom holler through the house, “Is that my baby boy?” 

Josh and I look at each other from across the couch. He rolls his eyes, and I can’t fight the laugh that comes out. 

“I saw that,” our dad mumbles, a small smirk creeping onto his face. 

Josh, being who he is, shrugs dramatically and, with a sarcastic tone, lets out, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Both of us giggled like children again. 

“You two aren’t as slick as you think,” he laughs. Groaning as he stands up from the couch, he gives my shoulder a squeeze as he walks past. 

It only takes a couple of minutes before he comes back to join us again, with Sam in tow this time. Sam plopping down near me, which is probably for the best at the rate this morning is going. Josh would probably be pestering him instantly. Our dad fell back into the spot he already had claimed. 

Spending the holiday all together was always nice, mostly because none of us were working, and we obviously didn’t get to see our parents all that often. Typically, Josh would get roped into helping our mom, but I think she’s really living her best life with Quinn, Willa, and Char in there instead. She’s always been outnumbered by us, so now we’ve all been told to keep out. 

Getting to spend time with our dad as an adult has been way more fun. He was usually the one in charge of telling us to ‘knock it off’ as kids and having to separate us when we were fighting. But now, we just get to enjoy hanging out with him and seeing him laugh at the stories we tell rather than have to lecture us. 

In the midst of a story from him, Quinn walks in, setting a tray of little snacks for us on the coffee table, pointing out one of them to Josh, but I couldn’t hear what they said because Char slid her hand over my chest from behind the couch. 

“Thought you might want this,” she says, handing me a hot cup of coffee. My head tilted back against the couch to see her as I carefully stole the mug from her. 

I just stare at her for a second, taking in how adorable she looks today, before mumbling back, “Thank you, hun.” She leans down, kissing my forehead before padding back off into the kitchen. My self-control really is low because I absolutely watched her walk away until she was completely out of sight. 

“You good over there, bud?” My dad taps my arm, bringing me back to reality as he chuckles to himself. 

My face heats up a little, but I just sip my coffee to try to hide it. 

“They’re always like that,” Sam chimes in, making a disgusted face at me. I flip him off as I take another sip of my coffee. 

“Samantha, I know you’re not talking,” Quinn says, making the rest of us laugh. “Don’t forget, I can hear you and Wills talking when you’re at our apartment.” 

His jaw drops slightly, just staring back at them. 

“Should I give examples?”

“Nope! I’d rather you didn’t!” 

Josh chimes in, “I personally think it’s cute how she has Jake wrapped around her finger.”

Our dad laughs as soon as it comes out, which makes me laugh. He isn’t wrong. Quinn kissed Josh’s cheek before prancing back off to the kitchen. 

“Hard not to be,” I mumble into my coffee mug. All I can think of is how she’s just the type of love I need in my life. She’s this incredibly independent woman, so confident in her career, and wildly intelligent— she blows my mind every day. But then she’ll come home to me on the weekends and melt into me, just wanting to be loved and so sweet. Or if I go to her and the bar has been overwhelming, she’s so gentle and takes care of me. 

The sound of Sam and Josh cackling brings me back while my dads mutters, “Oh, give him a break.” Probably good that I didn’t hear it. 

We all sat around as Dad updated us on how life outside of New England was. Telling us about all the little places they’ve found, their favorite restaurants, and the few friends they’ve finally made. 

“That’s great, Dad,” Sam chimes in. It feels like we’re all kids again, just hanging out with him; the thought alone makes my heart swell a little.

“You guys should come visit during the winter,” he tells us. “Get out of the cold for a few days.” 

I look over to him, “I’m sure we can plan something.” 

Hearing a fit of laughter coming from the other room, we all look at each other in silence. 

“That’s a scary sound,” Dad groans quietly, and we all giggle. “Everyone knows a secret about one of us now.” 

“Don’t say that.”

“Oh god.”

“No, no, no.”

He throws his head back in laughter, “Figured you boys would have learned at this point. Your mother loves to share secrets with anybody who will listen.” 

“Shit,” I let out under my breath. This isn’t the first time she’s been around Charlotte, but I’m usually right next to her, so the secrets have been kept to a minimum. I’m definitely fucked. 

Quickly distracted by the sound of little feet walking through the room, Iris runs straight over to Josh when she rounds the corner of the couch. He scoops her up in a hug, her little laugh making all of us smile. 

“I should have known that’s where she was going,” Danny’s voice cuts through the laughter, joining Josh and Iris on the other side of the couch. 

My dad has always loved him, well— both of my parents do. But he has an open invitation to every holiday that my parents decide to host. I think they like that he has Mel and Iris now, especially since none of their actual children are going to be giving them grandkids anytime soon. 

They’re mid-conversation when Sam abruptly jumps up, walks to the hall, and yells, “Mom! Santa is almost here!” Coming back to the couch, our dad shot him a wink.  

“Thank you, Sammy,” Mom lets out loudly as she scurries into the room, leaning on the back of the couch behind Dad. Everyone follows her in; Willa is plopping down next to Sam, and Quinn is sitting on the floor below Josh. There she is.

“Hey you,” I whisper as Char sneaks over to me, tucking herself close to me as we watch Mel tell Iris to look for Santa. My arm tugged her as close as I could because I knew I was only getting her for a couple of minutes. 

“Is this a thing?” She whispers in my ear. 

I nod, turning my face to whisper back. “My mom always makes sure that she comes in to watch Santa show up because we would get so excited when we were little. So now, we always make sure to get her before, and she always cries when he shows up.” 

Her little smile when she lets out a little “aw” before looking over to my parents. My mom’s arms are slung around my dad’s neck, and he has one hand covering hers. Her eyes already teared up at just the glimpse of Santa and Mrs Claus, but the tears finally fell when Iris jumped out of Josh’s arms, pointing to the TV. 

“Oh, what a sweet little thing,” Mom lets out quietly. 

I pull Char’s legs over mine, keeping my hand on her thigh. I want to just keep her to myself now. The urge to keep her trapped only got worse when she leaned her head against me. 

Before I knew it, chaos ensued yet again. My mom stole my girlfriend from me, not before I snuck about eighteen “one more” kisses on her— despite being told to get a room. 

Somehow, we all got roped into a game, or a handful of rounds, of hide and seek with Iris, proving that we are still just children. 

All of us laugh as we run around this house, trying to find places to hide that aren’t too hard for her to figure out. The only downside was dependent on who she found first. Unfortunately, Sam only plays to win, so if she found him first, we were all screwed; he would be holding her on his hip as he did all the leg work for her, making a scene when he’d find us, which made her belly laugh every time.  

We spent a few hours entertaining her when my mom finally announced that the food was basically ready. I wander into the kitchen to grab a drink, but I am sidetracked when I sneak behind Charlotte, sliding my arms around her. 

“Hi, baby,” she giggles quietly. 

I snuggle my face into her neck for a second, whispering, “I’ve missed you all day.” 

“I’ll be all yours soon enough.” 

I press a kiss to her cheek before letting go, asking, “What do you want to drink? I’ll bring it in there for you.” 

A collective ‘aw’ rings through the room, and I can feel my face heat up a little. At least they think it’s cute; I’ve just been bullied all day. I poured some of the wine from the fridge into her and grabbed a glass for myself. Going out of my way to give her a kiss, feeling her grab my ass as I turn to join the rest of the boys. I whipped my head to look at her, and she just smirked at me. She subtly blew me a kiss. She’s lucky she’s cute. 

Everyone slowly joins the table, taking turns grabbing food. There are at least fourteen conversations happening at once, but somehow, it’s not overwhelming. Char is sitting to my left, my hand finding comfort on her leg every so often. The conversations varied throughout the meal from everybody focused on Mom telling a story, likely about us as kids or just tapering off into a million different ones. Feeling her hand grab mine once she was done eating, she just mindlessly played with the rings I had on as we sat there. 

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After dinner was done, Mom insisted that none of the kids help with dishes but get into comfy clothes so we could watch Christmas movies together. We all say our goodbyes to Danny, Mel, and Iris since they have more families to visit. 

 I lay on our bed, watching her change into my sweatshirt and some leggings. She looks up at me, giggling as she pulls on some fuzzy socks, “they’re extra comfy,” she told me when she packed them this morning. 

“You ready, honey?” I ask as she sits on the bed with me. 

She lays back, throws her leg over my hips, and plants a kiss on me. Letting out a quiet “Almost.” She snuggles herself into me for a minute, which I won’t complain about. My hand squeezed her thigh a few times. 

“Comfortable?” 

She nods her head against me, “I’ve barely seen you today. Feels weird.” 

“I’m glad you had fun with my mom, at least.” 

She lets out a little laugh, propping herself up on her elbow before telling me, “She told me a little secret about you.” 

“Did she?” 

Her smile is wide as she stares at me, “Mhmm,” she hums. 

“Why do I feel like I know what it is..?” I mumble, squinting my eyes at her. 

Her sweet little laugh sneaks out, “Well.. something about you always crying over having to wash your pirate jammies?” Of course.

“Come on, if we don’t get up now, I’m never gonna go,” I tell her, patting her butt a couple of times. Why does she have to tell everybody that? 

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed!” She hangs on me as I sit up. “It's cute, baby!” 

“Yeah, yeah,” I roll my eyes at her, fighting a smile. “I’m sure she’s ready to spill all my secrets to you.” 

Her lips land on my cheek as she giggles at me, her hand holding the other side of my face. She whispers, “I’ll tell you my secrets later if you want.” 

Jesus Christ. I can feel my heart rate pick up, quickly spitting out, “Alright, you. Let’s go.” 

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We make our way out to the living room, claiming the corner of the couch that I’d been in all morning. I give her the actual corner of the couch and just pull the coffee table closer so I can prop my feet up on there. 

It’s not long before everybody else is coming in and getting comfortable. Sam and Willa steal the other corner since his legs are too long to be banished to the end of the couch. My parents sat between us, mom closer to me. 

Josh and Quinn curl up together at Char’s feet, just propping cushions up so they don’t squish her. Dad shuts off the big lights, just letting the little lamps try to light up this room. 

My mom changed it to The Grinch, and the tradition continued as we all curled up with our own blankets.

I feel Char adjust so she’s cuddled up on my chest, my arm wrapped around her to keep her close. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head without thought. My mom’s hand grazes mine, making me look over at her. She holds my hand for a second as we just stare at each other, giving my hand a few squeezes before she leans into Dad. 

And there we all sat, laughing at the movie like we do every year. Finally, feeling complete as the love of my life giggles against me while I’m surrounded by my family. It feels like nothing could get better at the moment until she tilts her head up, kisses my cheek, and whispers, “I love you.” 

I glance down at her, giving her a quiet kiss, hoping to not out us to the rest of the room. She just stares up at me, the green of her eyes hardly visible in the dim glow of the TV. But the butterflies still erupt inside me when she looks at me like that. I can’t believe I get to spend forever with her. Slowly blinking at her, I just take her in.

Finally, whispering back, “I love you, honey.” 

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Chapter Twenty-Five

FDOG Master Post | Masterlist | Playlist

Sam & Willa : Sparrow Of The Dawn

Josh & Quinn : Amongst The Stars

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Taglist:

@gvfsstardust @myleftsock @dont-go-home-without-me @literal-dead-leaf

@lizzys-sunflower @mackalah @klarxtr @edgingthedarkness @writingcold

@takenbythemadness @earthgrlsreasy @peaceloveunitygvf

@josh-iamyour-mama @anythingforjtk

@broken0mens @whereiskeara @gvf-luna @katuschka @threadofstars @i-love-gvf

@jazzyfigz @smoking-jakelane @gretavanfan @scoreofinfantryvines

@demonrat444 @hollyco @ourlovesdesire

@musicspeaks @wrldabomination @chloeshell1219

@becinabubblegvf @sanguinebats @lallisonl

@nicoleghost18 @lightmy-love @myownparadise96 @cheersdannyx2

@musicislove3389

[anonpolls]

People who have been pregnant, are currently pregnant, or whose bodies have the potential to become pregnant someday:

Note from Anon: Asking because I do not have ANY photos of myself while pregnant, and years later I don't regret it at all (pregnancy was intentional and I have TONS of photos of the kid, I just did not like my pregnant body and wanted celebrations to be about the baby, not me).

-submit your poll!-

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

*stares at steven universe playlist with increasing intensity*

[crimsononiarataki]

"Aren't ya enjoyin' yourself too, Ayato? It'd hardly be fair if ya aren't,"

He seemed to really enjoy biting the other already, maybe it was because Ayato seemed to be into it, the Oni couldn't be too sure at the moment. Maybe the shorter man was even more into the biting than he was really showing at the moment. That could be, right? As he was smiled at he'd smile back letting out a soft chuckle as the other pulled him closer, he had no issues getting onto the bed with Ayato at all.

"I wouldn't know, it's not like I can kiss myself to test your theory, besides, I like how ya kiss me."

He'd likely make a mental note for any and all reactions he elicited from the other man to revisit later on. The reaction to his claws on Ayato's hips seemed to be something the other reacted to somewhat strongly. To see just how strongly the other would react, he'd touch both of them at the same time with his claws, gently, just the same as he'd done the first time, but on both sides of Ayato's body this time, rather than just the one.

"Hey now, I never told ya to sit back up. Gonna be kinda hard for me to touch ya or anythin' sittin' like that, Ayato."

He'd likely remove one of his hands from the Commissioner's side, and use one knuckle to tilt the other male's head up so their eyes could meet. He wasn't being too impulsive but he was trying to get the other to stop overthinking things, if kissing him again would stop the more methodical minded of the two from thinking too hard on the situation, then that's what the Yokai would do.

Either that or he'd simply pin the other to his bed, one or the other situation would arise, and quickly, too.

He swallowed hard, wiping his chin with the back of his palm. He let out a soft, breathy sigh as his lower lip was bitten. “Sure,” he chuckled softly, “you seem to be enjoying yourself.” He commented with a slight tilt of his head. The more above his lip moving as he smiled up at the Oni. He took his hand and pulled him closer. He wanted him to join him on the bed.

“I like kissing you too. You are much better at it than I, though.” He groaned softly, back arching slightly from the ticklish feeling of Itto’s claws trailing his body and his hips. His hips seemed to be a weak spot too. He let out several muffled groans and quiet whines as Itto continued to nip and bite at him. He brought one hand down to adjust his position as he sat back on his knees. His hands placed between his legs to support himself.

His hair draped slightly covering the tips of his ears as he lowered his head again. He was much more accustomed to quick, certain decisions. In moments like this, he had no experience, he had a lot of time to make decisions. He didn’t know what would be good, what wouldn’t be. He couldn’t determine what was best for Itto’s pleasure and what wasn’t. Though, Ayato derived pleasure from giving his partners pleasure.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

oh noooo or whatever

bonus aka The Real Motive Behind This:

SURPRISE double bonus. textless ver of the first pic under the cut

[thilsiktonix]

small little doodle page for you @niceguyanonymous !!!!!

((I tried my best, I'm not a very good writer, but I hope you like it <33 sorry I didn't put too much detail into this one, I wasn't sure how exactly to interpret it!))

[memen18-m5r3]

hello surviving centricide fandom...I bring you some wacky food

(i'm also animating a small portion of Centricide 3.5 but since I can't tell how much more time it's gonna take I'll show you some sneak peeks! :3)

((since I'm a certified yapper, I added some additional info + translations to all the images descriptions! not sure if it qualifies as ID so feel free to add upon it if necessary))

[makiswirl]

can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest

like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!

[soracities]

if we should protect children because they are vunerable, this means you would protect cruel children who bullies people who different than them then. the children who responsible to trauma for someone else's entire years

You're assuming that "protecting" children is the same as absolving them of responsibility and that's not what I said. All children are vulnerable, because all children are children; they don't come out of the womb with a perfectly working moral compass anymore than they come out of it waiting to hurt people--they're vulnerable because their understanding of the world is entirely at the mercy of what we, as adults, consistently tell them and show them. Children behaving cruelly aren't exempt from that--they learn that cruelty from somewhere, or someone. Your job, as the adult, is to make sure they understand that it's unacceptable so it will not happen again--but your job is also to ask why someone that young is behaving this way to begin with, so you can ensure they become better.

"Protecting" kids is not ignoring when they hurt or torment others, it's not refusing to teach them consequences or right from wrong, it's not "zero tolerance" policies in schools that treat a child being bullied and the child bullying them as equal instigators, and it's certainly not protecting them from recognizing, and atoning for, the pain they have caused someone else. You don't have to make peace with the now-adults who hurt you when you both were kids, but you cannot let the horrors of your own childhood impact how you treat or respond to the children living theirs around you right now, either.

You don't protect kids so they can get a free pass for bullying or tormenting another child. You protect them because kids are impulsive, emotionally reactive, and profoundly social (which means deeply impressionable) human beings who are still learning & processing insane amounts of information every day about what it means to be alive, to be alive as yourself, to be alive as yourself with other people. Protecting them is realising that you can't isolate the responsibility of a 10 year old from the bigger responsibility of the literal grown adults around them, adults who are in charge of teaching them about the world and how to behave in it. Whether you have children of your own in the future or not is completely irrelevant to this; we all become those adults eventually--no matter what happened to us as kids.