#THIS FUCKING WARPED TOUR EDIT

[bloggrgirl]

it’s my birthday tomorrow and i recently rediscovered an old flame of mine (went down memory lane of my emo phase and got the sad kind of nostalgic). double kill. need to see ptv in concert to feel better

[chromations]

The Robert Plant post that's been on my mind since the jimmy post.

EDIT: tumblr fucked up and deleted half the post AND put it without tags. Now complete

It's easier to write about psychology I relate to. To dive into something so clear, so easy to point out the faults of. Writing Jimmy's story was easy. What I'm writing now is less than.

This is how Led Zeppelin impacted Robert Plant. As usual, feel free to add, and the rest is under the cut. This is gonna be sad (and long)

Anyone can spot how, now, Robert reflects on his Zeppelin days with disdain. He doesn't perform nor relate to the majority of his Zeppelin songs anymore. Of course, just as the rest of the band, he's sick of the press asking for another tour. Another reunion. Another reminder of a dark spot in who we see as the golden god.

What happened?

What *didn't* happen?? At first, Zeppelin started out and grazed the sun. And the sun had been spun for years, so to speak. Popularity, sex, riches, women, freedom, *music*. Who wouldn't want that? Of course, there had been the lyrics written by a guy in his early 20s, the many meanings eluding and warping to the ears of the listener. There was criticism over the different lifestyles, tear gassing, police raids, there was Jimmy and Lori. Even recounted by Jimmy Page (Through the On This Day feature), they'd perform in Memphis, only to be stopped by a man with a gun when they'd wanted to perform an encore.

Still, each life had its faults. Robert would write Sick Again's lyrics with the groupees in mind, with the underlying sadness for what Lori had gone through.

Come 1975, and the wax starts to melt. Jimmy starts on heroin at some point during their tours that year. After Plant's family flies out, he and Robert vacation in Morocco. After, in Greece, Robert is driving with his family, and they get into an accident: Almost fatal on Maureen, a broken ankle + elbow on Robert, and bruises on the kids. Back in England, they'd receive care... Only for Plant to have to leave England due to his tax exile. He'd spend the time in a wheelchair, writing and developing Presence. Achilles Last Stand, about his time in Morocco with Jimmy, previously called The Wheelchair Song. Tea For One, about the loneliness and despair on tour, of being away from his family. For Your Life is about a friend of Robert's who had been heavy in drugs. Quote from faroutmagazine, it's reflected that Presence was "a cry from the depths"/"a cry of survival"

Presence is often shat on for what's perceived as a lackluster, boring, rehashed album. While I see where these statements come from, Presence happens to be my favorite album.

In 76, Presence is released, and in the same year, Zeppelin's concert film The Song Remains The Same, to make up for the canceled tours in pursuit of Plant's recovery.

1977 comes around. American tour. Everyone's unsure if the band will perform the same after such a hiatus, but it works out. Mostly. Page, as in my other post, is emotionally unavailable, to say the least, in his own struggles. The band in total is still imbibing in heavy drug usage (JPJ, however, more discreet with his use and not to be found in embarrassing situations), but the tour breaks records, a heavy hitting comeback.

Icarus falls, the zeppelin crashes.

Come summer, the third leg just there, and Robert gets the call: Karac Plant, his son, passed while he was away. The cause had been an unknown stomach illness, and he couldn't have even been there for his son. Gut wrenching. Karac was 5.

Tour canceled, and the last time Zeppelin played North America, Plant flies back home with Bonham and Richard Cole at his side. Jimmy and Peter Grant remain in America, while Jones takes time for vacation. During his time of immense grief, Plant heavily considered quitting music all together to be a teacher, as he just wanted to be with his family. While everyone else was off flitting about, Robert says John Bonham was the only one really at his side for the entire process. Out of the members of Zeppelin, Bonzo was the only one attending Karac's funeral at Plant's side. The darkest, most heartbreaking moment of your life, and your friends aren't around (Of course Bonham was, of course he was around. They were best friends). Jones had said, later, with what Elvis dying, all he knew was that he (Robert) should have his space. Lacking etiquette and not knowing consolation shouldn't mean you (in context, Jones and Page) lack the ability to be there for your friend, though.

Robert never fully got over Karac's death. I wouldn't blame him. He wrote multiple songs over the years honoring his son (All My Love, Blue Train, I Believe).

In addition, he would have a talk with himself, in which he would quit drugs. Quote below.

After everything of 1977, the future of Led Zeppelin became uncertain. Just about silence for a long time, while Plant went through the grief process.  About 1977, he says: “[it was] the year it all stopped for me. Nothing could make it all right again and nothing ever will.” 

"During the absolute darkest times of my life when I lost my boy and my family was in disarray, it was Bonzo who came to me."

Finally, Page and Bonham convince Plant to stay in music, to stay with Zeppelin, when Jimmy told him to take a break until he's ready, and that the band is nothing without Robert.

Zeppelin returns in 1979, though the light has dimmed. Jimmy and Bonham lose themselves further. If you take a look, In Through The Out Door is largely about Robert's feelings once more. When recording and writing, it's often said that the band had split in two: Sober (Plant and JPJ) and not sober (Page, Bonham) . While Plant and Jones wrote and composed, the other two would fail to show up on time, sometimes even at all. As previously mentioned, All My Love and I'm Gonna Crawl are tributes to Karac. In The Evening is about the struggles and stress faced even through his stardom and wealth.

Carouselambra tells the story of Zeppelin's fall. From kings, gods, to rust. In particular, it details the loneliness and betrayal felt by Plant after his band mates failed to be there for him.

"Where was your word, where did you go?

Where was your helping, where was your bow?

Dull is the armour, cold is the day

Hard was the journey, dark was the way, way

I heard the word, I couldn't stay, oh

I couldn't stand it another day, another day"

In particular, "Where was your word, where did you go?" struck with me.

The rest of the album is filled with lighter, story centered, and explorational songs. Plant knew that while Zeppelin was there, it was nearing its end. Come Knebworth, a great show, but Robert is different, you see it in his eyes. The naivety, the innocence, the belief that he could have it all, has faded.

And nobody else is the same at knebworth, either.

Fast forward a year and John Bonham dies, god rest his soul. Led Zeppelin breaks up. Robert loses his best friend and son in the span of 3 years.

Icarus burns. The zeppelin crashes.

Robert distances himself from the rock scene, exchanging most of his heavy vocals to explore different genres of music. He shies away from Zeppelin, but the public is calling for more. An encore. A reunion. Each one goes wrong, between being too stoned and ill timed, the improper rehearsals, the matter not being taken seriously.

Page and Plant starts and Robert finds himself back in his old shoes, polished and new. He enjoyed it this time around, digging up unreleased material and playing it "Unledded."

The masses want more. The golden god, playing the same old tune and having to visit the same old wounds of life. They want the sun to shine like it had been touched again, but the sun shined differently back then. The public dooms him to the same old song he's been fighting to escape, but the song doesn't remain the same, the song has changed.

He's still beautiful. Still Robert Plant. But he's not the same as he was, he's not the bright, young boy performing Stairway to the crowd for the first time, or 50 playing as Page and Plant. He's past that.

December 10th, 2007, O2 Arena, London. He says good evening. One last show. Jason Bonham on drums and backing vocals. John Paul Jones, keyboard and bass guitar. Jimmy Page, electric guitar. And himself, Robert Plant. A legendary show, honored to Ahmet Ertegun.

After, Jones and Jimmy want to continue with a reunion. Robert doesn't, won't. He has a solo career. He's fought to free himself from the golden boy he was. This isn't him anymore. These aren't his songs.

He grows disconnected from his songs of Zeppelin, a lifetime ago. He grows to hate stairway, until it's 2012 at the Kennedy Honors Center. Heart performs Stairway to Heaven with a choir and Jason Bonham. Robert tears up, seeing his best friends son out there. In that moment, he grows to appreciate Stairway: Only if it's sung by a younger voice, though.

The media wants more. The people want more. They will always want more, it's never enough, but he can't sing a song that's lost its meaning to him.

Robert Plant is a man of many times. The golden god we know of now is eternally different from who he was. I will always love him through all walks of life, each and every stage.

[pwblogarchive]

January 2006

January 2, 2006

It was strange being outside of chicago on new years. If anyone remembers our apartment shows.

But the confetti was pretty and I think a girl from miss seventeen tried to kiss me on the mouth but kind of missed. Oh yeah and apparantly andrew john hurley is a dreamboat. Check the scoreboard. Tommorrow letterman and then I’m gonna buy some more heinous gear. Do you love it when I wear clashing colors as much as I do?

And why didn’t anyone tell me how amazing the movie the squid and the whale is? I told you about panic…

Over and way the fuck out.

xoxo

January 4, 2006

my top ten (er top seven) of 2005 - no records included.

bonnie dillard - she is always around to tell me how wack i am - she uses the the word "totes" and "just sayin" way too much - and actually types them! she named her dog roxie wentz and she has given me exactly two compliments in my entire life - one of which was on an outfit that she picked out for me. but she pretty much is the glue for clandestine and sometimes pete wentz. editor of filthy magazine.

nick scimeca - this kid makes the craziest faces i have ever seen in my entire life. the first time i met him we got in a snowball fight. pretty much we are in this gang together forever. he does infect, foe, and some clandestine stuff. pretty much whenever i am bummed i can call him up on the phone and hell tell me some hilarious story.

demar hamilton - i have pulled this kids underwear off every time he is around me and totally wasted. its awesome. he also has a dog living in his basement that looks like a 100 yearold teddy ruxpin. oh yeah, his band is rad.

leslie simon - me and her talk about our crushes all the time. we have a mutual love for the music of ashlee simpson and kelly clarkson. when i tell her insane stories i dont even have to say "off the record" she pretty much knows. she thinks of bright eyes and fob in the same way which blows my little mind. she is editting rainy day kids. oh yeah and writing a book about boys in tight jeans that wear eyeliner as far as i can tell but its pretty hush hush.

jonathon cecil miller/dirty - pretty much this kid is made of snakes, snails and puppy dog tails. i have nothing else to say but he is the new pauly shore - even if he always punches me for saying that. pretty much he looks like a cheeseburger with toothpicks for legs but i wouldnt trade him for the world. pretty much he is the best kid ever.

jim sevcik (or however you spell it) - this is the guy who goes and digs the little youth medium shirts out of tiny boxes in the 100 plus degrees on warped tour or freezing temp on NFT - and then takes the money out of your paws. he is definitely most underrated.

andrew simon/buck - when on the westcoast these guys function as my mother. they take us out to dinner, help me find a house or apartment, look up movie times, get screenings, help me find tours, starbucks, have the cutest baby on the planet, oh yeah and they even book shows every once in awhile.

oh well i ran out of steam. ill finish later. pretty much people that i hang out with every single day are not included on this - you know who you are.

- petey

1/04/06 Q&A

question

Pete, I really need some advice. I was a virgin until I slept with this guy. I didnt tell him I was a virgin until 2hrs. after we finished nad I told him online. Then I started freaking out because I was scared I had screwed everything up between us, which I think only made everything worse. this all happen yesterday. Did I screw everything up?

answer

the best part about when things like this happen is that eventually they become the past- if you really like this guy you could probably explain yourself to him- how you just got scared and were nervous to tell him certain things. if he is worth it, i am sure he will take the time to listen and tell you how he feels too. and if he doesn’t give you the time to do that, than he isn’t worth it anyway. you can be through with the past but that past isnt always through with you.

question

Pette what type of bass do you have?

answer

fender just made me my own- its pretty rad- red and black- super light maple neck- customized electronics and pick-ups- check out a picture of it over at: www.clandestine.buzznet.com - they say they are gonna make a real cheap version of it for people to learn on

question

the background on the site finally changed. who does that?

answer

it changes with mother nature.

question

Do you have any scars. Not like emotional scars (you can include them if you wish) but good-story-scars. Like stuff involving armadillos or something interesting like that.

answer

ive got this amazing one down the palm of my hand from when me and robby windgator (sp) climbed a fence in his back yard and my hand got stuck on a nail. it slid down the entire length of my hand- i was like 8. i have two on my right hand from when i fought a car the week before the VMAs. trust me i definitely beat the car up.

January 6, 2006 

notes on black clouds and underdogs - see also: cast all your fears away:

1. tickets will not be 50 dollars. haters are spreading this on the internet. if you buy your ticket ahead of time (not through some wack broker or on ebay or from a scalper)- average ticket price will be between 23-28 dollars - not going over 35 anywhere. we picked the venues based on how cheap we could get them.

2. the bands- we didn't want to have a tour where you had to see five bands that sounded exactly like fob. we went for variety. all of the bands are really nice guys as well. there will be special guests through out the tour and some suprises to make each show more exciting.

3. this is going to be fob's biggest show ever. we will be playing our longest set and will be including some special secrets.

4. did you expect us to just dump the dates in your laps? we are nerdy and weird and different. so we created a game. we thought it would be fun. the points will be weighted so a small town will have the same chance as a huge city to win a small suprise show. we want to play in front of kids that are excited and we know this is a chance to do this. there will still be other secret shows randomly happening.

5. close your eyes and just click. youve got it. dont worry just come out. andy will be running a kissing booth - it will be a blast.

more later.

January 6, 2006 

8:11 pm

i am just a hot mess. i woke up to the feeling of myself throwing up today. pretty much put a damper on the entire day. i ate about 50 stomach pills and then threw them all up- it was a pretty color in the toilet. my toungue is black on the top right now. i am pretty sure thats a bad thing. i watched way too much gastinaeu (however you spell it) girls today. i think it made me sicker. it took me awhile to realize that they were mother and daughter and not sisters- but the mom is kinda hot in pissy kind of way. my mom is out of town so there was noone here to take care of me- my brother was around but hes pretty much always bongzilla'd. so i waited for back-up caretakers to arrive- one of them was busy cutting hair and the other has like a "real" job besides being dad. the best part about vomitting alone in the morning is the way the bathroom tiles feel kinda cool in a pleasant way so i took a nap there for a bit. i want to see hostel tonight but the problem is all the vomitting- see its not that i mind so much its just what if i run into someone in my sicky gear and puke on them? wow. i am glad i did this update. arent you? im gonna leave the comments open cause i never do- just write down the first thing that comes into your mind when you see that reply button- heres mine: i am just a hot mess. 

January 6, 2006

I have to say it makes me feel safe and some kind of comfort to look at the clock in the corner of the screen and know that you are awake too.

posted by: peterpumpkineater

1/12/06 Q&A

question

whats your view/opinion on racism?

answer

i love it. i mean what opinion would i have other than it is terrible. i hope thats what you expected.

question

So Pete, I have been wanting to learn how to play bass for a long time. Any idea when that HOT Clandestine bass will be available for the public? Thanks.

answer

its going to be available as a fender squire some time in the (near i hope) future. squire is fenders cheapest bass line - very affordable and a good bass to learn how to play on.

question

college dropout or late registration?

answer

“highschool graduate” its the mixtape he put out awhile ago- its pretty sweet.

question

okay crazy dream last night.. you [pete] and me making out after a show in a bed? yeah just thought id share.

answer

im pretty gross after a show. itd be better to just highfive i think.

question

pete. please stop licking the shoes of the island CEOs. i am getting really tired of turning on a tv and seeing a commercial for you guys playing at the fucking arena or a WHOS NEXT IN MUSIC? PANIC AT THE DISCO and THE ACADEMY IS mtv shit which was was totally all your -for lack of better word- fault. sometimes i think it cant get any worse but im always wrong. when is this going to end pete?!?!?!?

answer

i am kind of confused by this one- we are on island defjam records but the advertisements for our tour were made by our booking agent not island. academy is on atlantic/fueled by ramen and P!atd are on decaydance neither of those are island related. but i think i understand the gist of what you are trying to say. i understand that its hard to feel like you are losing a band you loved to “the mainstream” or to a bigger media. i want you to know how much fob turns down because we dont believe in it or agree with it- at the same time would you rather see the academy is on trl or limp bizkit?- id rather see sincere music up there. anyway, i know we’ll all still be here after this ends. hope you are there with us.

question

Peter do you ever get mad at us?

answer

sure. just the same way you sometimes get mad at me/us- but thats okay. neither of us ever seem to stay mad very long…

question

choose one: paramore. cartel. the academy is. or acceptance.

answer

the academy is. i dont really know the others too well.

question

Petey, what have you been up to this past week? xo

answer

training for the new video and working on/editting release the bats two (http://www.findthescene.com/Videos/RTB2_Trailer.mov)… oh yeah and sleeping some.

question

So what do you think of Brokeback Mountain?

answer

good love story. kind of depressing- it makes me think about how much i do not want to go camping.

question

ryan seacrest called you “heartbreaker wentz.” how does that make you feel? it made me giggle…

answer

i never broke that mofos heart.

question

I was wondering if any of you guys are superstitious

answer

i kiss clocks, make wishes on take offs and first kisses, hold my breath on graveyards - yes.

question

Im really upset because i have friends who like me have been FOB fans for the longest time and have met you guys numerous times but are really angry about the ticket prices and are complaining your just sell outs. Im mad because i dont think this and now they are boycotting your CT show.You guys were bound to get famous so why do people have to get like this? Whats you opinion on all this?

answer

our primary concern with this tour is: having a huge general admission floor space and keeping ticket prices as low as absolutely possible. we are doing our best- if you compare this tour with other tours with bands of the same size you will see the difference in ticket price.

question

so much for teh huge general floor space. i cant get decent tickets.

answer

if you get tickets early you should have no problem getting floor tickets. ask your broker when they will be releasing floor tickets as they are often released in bunches. i promise you every venue we are playing has a huge floor space- and if not me and my friends always used to just sneak down onto the floor. the security never tries to hard to stop you.

question

Have you ever had sex with a groupie?

answer

nope.

question

So after they finish the tour that they are on now Mest is breaking up. I sort of cant believe it but I was wondering - do you guys plan on sticking with us for a while longer? It is actually pretty hard to deal with bands just stopping for good…so I am hoping that you guys can be there with us for at least a while longer. Much love.

answer

honestly? some days i think fall out boy will be around for 20 more years and some days i think it might end tommorrow.

January 13, 2006 

first jt. now mr. frey. i fear that we are next.

it may just be the hour of the night or the song stuck in my head or some strange mix of it all.

i can't shake it. 

the chemists called it crossed signals.

the poets called it magical.

nowyousayimabird.

- petey

January 14, 2006 

i love how i never care about anything you say except how i always do.

that doesn't even make any sense.

late at night everything about you is an orchestra. and i am the conducter.

January 14, 2006 

4:14 pm 

"noones ever been this good for this long"

this is everything i am thinking right now with out transition. i apologize for my brains lack of linear thought processing: i hate the way it gets dark so early here this time of year. i guess "seasonal depression" kind of falls under "ADD" and "post tramatic whatever disorder" for me. i feel like its science from the madhatter down the rabbit hole. not too real. but lately i just wake up blue - my only thought is- how soon will the day be over so i can get back into bed. i open my eyes just a tiny bit and blur the numbers on the clock with my eyelashes. every word you say rolls off of my back - the praises and the barbs. i don't hear either, ever. sometimes the tips of my fingers itch from the back of my head- just to get the chance to tear someone to pieces and just barely let them off the hook. i swear to god, i was asleep alone. quick text me an alibi and oh god please don't dust the keyboard for prints. sometimes i stare out of the frosted window and make up stories as people walk by. the bottled blonde, park ave. princess walking whichever dog matches her coat. you know how i could turn your world upsidedown. its not love if a day goes by when you don't think about dropping it. its not the world keeping you on the outside, its you not wanting to be on the inside. everyone wants to be the first. buts its okay to be the second if you understand it better, if you make it look prettier. worn down doesn't even touch this. and theres nothing worse than when someone acts like they have you figured out, when you haven't even figured yourself out. nice boys don't write good stories or sing good songs. and his songs are boring. and his stories are just personal ads set to background music. i found the skeleton key for wedlock but i am holding off on telling her. on telling anyone for that matter. consistent inconsistency. thats all you ever have to remember and you'll do okay with me. dancers are always strippers. and paying their way through college is the BE VE. oh and hey pete do you remember the way the world used to trick you with fifty degrees in january and orange leaves in june? button your jacket tight, don't believe everything you read... don't even believe everything you wrote. i'm tired of always leaving. i'm tired of the way things always/never change. swim upstream until your gills bleed just because thats what genetic encoding commands. there aren't any trophies that are really worth it in the end. they can put you in a box when you are very young, so you'll be a pretty corpse but there are too many pages filled with too many words to lie beside you forever. intelligent design is the last great joke i heard. but honestly, no one will ever stay where i tell them, least of all the years. they keep moving. worlds greatest liar and how do you know i'm not lying when i tell you this right now? and thats coming from the king of one-liners. copy and pasted - long live the away message. kiss the monitor. fast asleep baby.

1/16/06 Q&A

question

Thanks for deleting me off your myspace friends. Youre different than who I thought you were Peter.. : (

answer

i do not have nor ever had a myspace account… the only sites outside of this one that i use are friendsorenemies.com and livejournal. fall out boy has a myspace account but i dont even know how to work it.

question

PETER! maybe that got your attention this time :)! My question, Did your parents or siblings ever say your “stupid” or “gay” for wearing girl pants, or tight shirts..because i go threw alot of crap for wearing tight clothing and i go to a city school so either its gangsters, or me left out..please help me with gettin threw this..Also cant wait to see you guys in Hersey!

answer

kanye west wears pink polos. rob halford wears black tshirts. not that any of it matters. but how you dress should only be an amplification of who you are inside, it should not be all you are… i get teased about alot of things but you know, at the end of the day its okay to be me. im pretty sure its okay to be you too, as long as you arent like hitler or a serial killer or something insane.

January 18, 2006 

these pictures make me think of me and you before i got so crazy.

the hippo lost its momma in the tsunami. now the he hangs out with this super old turtle and follows it around. from what i've read they have developed their own form of communication.

this is insane.

these parts of life are amazing.

i will try and not forget them next time.

- petey

January 18, 2006 

the band is in chicago preparing their new homes to be moved into. mine is still in my parents cause i am a loser like that: see also why i am hanging in nyc by myself. but ive got some schemes that i am working on.

how i have been (barely) living: the hippo and the turtle, hanging out with minkus from boy meets world in north carolina, going to the mtv studios in nyc to see baby bros all growed up on trl, eating every single thing in this hotel minibar, writing, you. writing you.

- petey

January 19th, 2006 

1:55 am 

wahahahahaha. i laughed for like a million hours at the shittalking over at: www.friendsorenemies.com its way fun to see your friends make fun of you. it keeps you levelheaded. it has gone live.

January 19, 2006 

yesyesyes-ya'll. newyorkcity. hung with patd and tai backstage at TRL and tried to make them unnervous. but i was butterflies inside. but they couldnt ever let me down. the rest of the day was spent listening to the new gymclassheroes songs and working on the new video. the gch songs are insane: i can't describe them "we gotta take our clothes off to have a good time". insane. new octfall: youve probably never met these kids but they are the nicest. always calling and asking how im doing. then the hush sound: all i can say is "sweet tangerine"- 6 months from now, you will agree with me. anyway, this isn't just some preachy post. i just love watching my friends suceed and i will believe in them until the day i die. its so great to watch everyone grow up. hopefully, somewhere someone says that about me.

we contributed a song to the breast cancer one tree hill episode/compilation. we just thought it was a great cause and couldn't pass it up. we actually thought it was a really personal cause to alot of people involved so i wanted to give a really personal song to me, so we used "dark alley".

its late and alot of the things i have been working on and thnking have stalled out. but i am trying oh so hard. got some smaller shows coming up in las vegas and l.a. for the diehards so keep your eyes out.

i am in new york city but it feels so fucking foreign. the band is in chicago but there is too much to be done out here. i know there needs to be breaks but i cant get away. maybe ill see you on fuse or trl tommorrow. maybe not cause it'll be weird with out the guys- i dunno. this hotel room doesn't make any sense. my lights are on and i am in bed knowing i will never fall asleep. i am realizing people in all the buildings outside i can see lit up can probably see in here on me. but thats okay cause i am wearing some sweet pj's.

wwwilliambecketdotlove

turn me inside out.

swoon. make me easy on the eyes. it aint hard in this light. read it. write it. throw it away and come back to the phone. light up text king.

oh yeah a little bird named mouth told me: friendsorenemies.com is up - my profile is actually me over there ... yay! let's hate eachother and/or get sexy.

January 20, 2006 

dear ireland- thank you for your pretty accents and your amazing show.

dear home- i miss you

dear you- what the fuck happened to this

a real update later.

the whole world loves it when you dont get down.

January 21, 2006 

12:17 pm 

i hate you and i hope you die. yes. i realize that you will make fun of me/take stabs at me/post ridiculous pictures of me. i realize that because of this band i have given up some of my privacy and personal life. i accept that. i can laugh at myself. i realize i will get called a douchbag. i get what i get. i have begun reading things about my friends and family. that i will not accept. i read things written by people who kiss my ass to my face. i remember who you are. fuck you. bring it on me. please leave my friends and family alone. it is extremely hurtful to me. if anyone is a friend of mine out there please tell your friends. i on the otherhand am open game. i have a good laugh at all of the stuff written about me. i am silly, i realize that. thank you. 

peter

January 24, 2006

I am an arms dealer.

I sell words you could only use as weapons.

This isn't a scene it is an arms race.

I am a con artist.

A door to door salesman.

A snake oil seller. Cures for whatever ails you.

Somehow I don't hear the violins playing.

Not really the leading man type.

I am a cadaver deep frozen. Waiting for reanimation to beinvented.

Wrote "fuckoff" on my hand to remind me to call you tommorrow morning.

What do you do when everything they say about you is true?

Do you expect me to just roll over and die?

My skin has made promises.

Whether the rest of me has or not.

Writing off tommorrows every time my fingers touch these buttons.

Putting all the comforts and closeness in reverse just for you.

I think its time to re-asses some of the policies of the wentz administration.

Our approval rating is at an all time low.

In case you haven't been informed you have to take a ticket to be disappointed by me.

There's a fucking line.

Well have some goddamned order.

Its a posh and exclusive club.

I have a lifetime membership.

Make it glamorous.

Make the rumors true.

Read the sign next to the bridge "giveupallhope..." and just tie down the gas pedal.

Lie in the back.

Haven't you heard, sorrow is in.

You are the beaches of normandy the night before.

And a girl with such a sweet drink should never sit in the corner and cry about anyone or anything.

The kids on the net had it right sometimes we should fuck off and die and break up and stop ruining art.

But the kids had it right sometimes when they sit waiting in line with hands frozen out waiting to get into a room first.

The only thing I can admit is this is no masterplan. I'm trying to figure it out.

"Without the sour the sweet wouldn't taste so sweet (tangerine)".

Its 3am in leeds. This is what just crossed my mind.

Love, the fancy kid.

January 26, 2006

live via manchester holiday inn express:

first and foremost. these shows have been amazing. i think it is quite possibly because we don’t get over here often or maybe because we are playing smaller clubs… but i am thinking we need to make a stop over here more often.

i wanted to congratulate p!atd the disco on making it to number 10 on the TRL countdown. and i just wanted to put this out there: there is no way it was paid to happen. of all the bands on “new bands week” panic was the only that didn’t put up big pushes to have the video voted on. if anything this band wants to do things their own way. hence picking the song they did for the single- that was the bands choice and in my opinion they have songs on the record that could easily be bigger. it was also the bands choice to create a darker video…. as a label i can tell you that we definitely don’t have the money to spend on a “big budget” video right now- not to mention having any left over for anything else- you’d laugh if you saw the budgets we filmed the new panic and gch videos on. but i couldn’t say enough about how nice these kids are- they don’t even get how big their band is and thats a good thing… i personally would rather see great bands on the forefront of music… and yes there are lots of other bands that deserve to make it there as well- so maybe on our messageboard tell me about some great (unsigned) bands that we should check out.

other than that we’ve just been writing new songs and working on the new video. pretty soon its going to become time focus all attention on a new fall out boy record again.

got some big news for you coming up very soon…

peter lewis kingston wentz

ps 'hater dudes marry hater bitches and have hater kids’

1/26/06 Q&A

question

hey, what kind of books are you and the rest of Fall Out Boy into? p.s. tell patrick he is spectacular

answer

andy is into comics and books on anthropology/human civilization i dunno what books joe reads patrick is into reading about music i am into a bunch of different authors lately hemingway still. before he went and hung out in africa. i haven’t been reading as much as id like lately. ps the book panic has in their book club this month is a great book. its the first thing i gave ryan after reading his lyrics, it kind of reminded me of him- so if you like panics lyrics head on over and check out their book club

question

do you watch that show roseanne on nick at night. i love that show!

answer

me and my friends used to hang out with becky in evanston, il in highschool. she was not to fond of me or my friend jody.

question

ok i know this is nobodys business but yours but there is alot of stuff going around on the boards saying that the big news is your engaged just to get things straight is that it? because those people are starting to annoy me….

answer

me being engaged is most definitely not the big news.

question

in the song calm before the on take this to your grave, there is a line that says :Well theres a song on the radio that says lets get this party started, lets get this party started. did you write that line because of the song by pink called lets get this party started. just curious.

answer

yes.

question

Hey Pete. My grandma is dying (and she doesnt care) and I for real dont feel anything towards her. My mom is seriously upset, my dad is just about the same and my sisters dont know. I am suppose to tell them but how do I do that when my grandma wasnt a grandma for me but for them she was a great lady? I just want this done and over because I am kind of tired of waiting for her to die since she has been making suicide references for the past two years.

answer

that is one of the hardest places to ever be in. i remember seeing thoughts of my grandfather in my head when he died i was on tour. and i couldnt really feel sad unless i thought of it as my dad and it really freaked me out. it made me feel like i wanted to see my dad right that second. id be completely lost with out him. i think that people handle grief in different ways and the best thing we can do is try to be there for them. im sorry to hear about that though.

1/30/06 

question

my roommates and i almost got into a brawl at 4am with some drunk kids who wanted to fight us because we did not appreciate the hint of lime in their tostitos. is it just me, or is your life this ridiculous as well?

answer

it is . we were thrown out of another fob afterparty after nearly fighting the staff who was berating dirty.

question

Peter, I just got the “Panic! At The Disco” cd and I love it! could you recomened any others?

answer

the hushsound “so sudden” - myspace.com/thehushsound october fall “season of…” myspace.com/octoberfall dangerradio “party foul” myspace.com/dangerfall the academy is “almost here” myspace.com/theacademyis armor for sleep “all” myspace.com/armorforsleep shiny toy guns “all”

question

do any of you have brothers and siters? (like any single younger brothers…:) if so, who and how old?

answer

um come on this question is kind of insane. but my one dog marley is super hot for a dog. hes a good kisser though.

question

I read somewhere that Patrick was a vegitarian. Is that true?

answer

he was he eats fish and likes to talk long walks in the park with hot babes.

question

Why does patrick wear a hat all the time and why does the drummer never talk?????

answer

just to drive your pretty little head mad with these questions.

question

Okay, heres a question: Has someone you superly-duperly adored gone away? And by adored we are talking like, lets-run-away-to-isreal -and-get-hitched-without-telling-anyone adored.

answer

yes. the sinking feeling in your rotten gut is your reminder. cool sheets on your bed are your antidote.

[lsdunesarchive]

lsdunes: Just Dunes bein’ Dunes! 🦂

(Instagram | September 12, 2022)

Transcript under the cut

Tucker: It's beginning. Hello, we didn't see you there! We've got almost all of us. Anthony is outside and we can't find him. He's talking... Typical. Look! We signed all these.

Frank: So many...

Tucker: So many. 

Travis: Many, many, many...

Tucker: Yeah... And they're getting numbered, too. So that's pretty cool!

Frank: All right, you want to do a little tutorial on how we... Check this out! So, all right. So, these are the special edition silk screen covers, right? And, we all signed them. The back looks sick. And then, a few of them are going to have, uh... I did a couple Dunes logo. And we'll do a little tutorial... 

Tucker: And we're going to show you how to do it. Frank designed this logo, so...

Frank: So, in order to to make it look like a pyramid and not just a triangle, you got to kind of get this weird point to it, right? So, if you take that middle line down, see, then turns into a pyramid, and then you need the crack, yeah.

Tucker: Damn, that might be the best one yet. 

Travis: Dune logo.

Frank: Dune logo. 

Tucker: Dune logo, that's loco, that Dune logo. So, we're all together today because we had rehearsal for Riot Fest, and I think we're going to have a ripping little group of songs for everyone, right? 

Everyone: Yeah. 

Frank: That half hour is going to be packed. 

Tucker: Yeah, action-packed. Lots of lots of stuff. This is Kate, she rules! Oh yeah, there's also posters that are are going up in, like, the subway, I think, in Chicago, but we signed those too. 

Kate: They are almost Kate-sized! That's crazy.

Tucker Yeah, and they say our names at the bottom, pretty cool... Mine looks like "Fucker", but I'm into it. But yeah, where are the fucking Dunes?

Tim: Anthony!

Tucker: We're going to get Anthony. 

Frank: I love this way this came out. 

Tim: Yeah, it's amazing.

Tucker: I know. It looks so sick, right? 

Tim: Such a good job. 

Travis: Say hi!

Anthony: Is it live?

Tucker: Yeah, come on! I told you, one minute!

Anthony: (...) and then he was so nice to me. Oh, what's up? We were talking about the first time I met Tucker.

Tucker: Me?

Anthony: Yeah.

Frank: You remember the first time you met Tucker? 

Anthony: Well, I remember the first time I spoke to him. I've seen him play dozens and dozens of times...

Tucker: This is awkward. This is very awkward.

Anthony: I'm singing it, that's why!

Anthony: Is this live?

Everyone: Yeah, you're live. 

Tucker: And it's not a photo, so you have to move. 

Anthony: So, we were at Warped Tour, and I, like, my... Like, I had got snuck backstage, so I was walking about, backstage...

Tucker: Anthony hired people to laugh at his jokes. 

Anthony: It was a thing where, like, I didn't know how easy it was to sneak back there so, getting back there...

Tucker: It's not, it's not easy. You need a pass. 

Anthony: And I was like, oh my God... And I I know Thursday, I'd seen them for years, like, just being a part of Thursday.

Tucker: Oh, Thursday.

Anthony: Being bands like, you know this day forward, and toured with them a whole bunch, and I had like, you know, and I was, got asked to join Saosin, and I know that they were in, they played with Open Hand, which had some of the guys that were in Saosin. So, I was like, oh, this is my excuse to go talk to Tucker, who was like, one of the most beautiful human beings I've ever seen...

Tucker: This is really awkward. 

Anthony: So, I went up to him, after he got done playing his set to, like, this nasty... So he's just, like, beautiful and he's breaking down his shit.

Tucker: I was probably red. 

Anthony: I was like, hey, you know, what's up? My name is Anthony. Like, you killed it, like... I wanted to ask your opinion about these guys that asked me to join their band. Like, I was just looking for a reason to talk to him, and he was like... And I was like, do you know these guys? What do you think of them? What do you think of this situation? And he was just like, oh, dude, those guys are great. That band was awesome. You'll have so much fun. That's, you gotta do it. You got to. And I told him the whole story. It's like, I don't know these guys... 

Anthony: You got to do it, man. Yeah, it'd be so much fun. And they're great, you'll have a blast. Didn't blow me off at all. 

Frank: Do you remember this?

Tucker: Only years later. 

Anthony: I'm sure he doesn't remember.

Tucker: I kind of do remember, I do. 

Anthony: But, he was so nice to me, and had zero reason. like, he was busy, you know? And I know now, like, what's going down, like, when people do that, it's like, oh, you're punishing somebody. 

Tucker: We all know it's the piercing blue eyes. 

Anthony: He couldn't have been nicer to me. And like, it was like... An inspiring thing, where I was just like, oh shit, I am gonna do this, you know? 

Tucker: No, it's good. I feel itchy. Yeah, well, thank you for that. That's Paul!

Anthony: It's like, the coolest thing ever. And now we're in a band together. 

Tucker: Yeah, now we're in a band together. And our band, our band is pretty sick. 

Anthony: We're all here...

Tucker: Yeah, we're all here. Can you see us all? 

Frank: (...) the whole reason. Like, yeah, I mean like. My Chem wouldn't have done anything if it wasn't for Thursday doing it first. Yeah. So the whole, like, honestly, if you think about it...

Anthony: First time I heard My Chem was from like, Alex, from like, Eyeball thing and all. Like, it was from, like, some samplers, and Thursday was on.

Travis: And Thursday took Coheed on some of our biggest first shows, for real. 

Frank: And when you guys couldn't play Allentown, we got your spot.

Travis: That's right. 

Frank: To play with Jimmy Eat World. And that was the biggest show My Chem ever played. 

Tucker: So, everyone's life, in this room, is ruined by Thursday. 

Frank: No, it was like Jimmy Eat World, Juliana Theory, and then Coheed, and Coheed dropped off, and there were signs that said 'Coheed has been replaced by My Chemical Romance', really. But the night before, we played a basement in Philly, and there was five people there, and one of the people tried to... He was a gentleman that didn't have a home, but he had a little tape recorder around his neck, and he bootlegged our set and then tried to sell us, sell the tape to us. 

Anthony: Now that tape is worth it. 

Tucker: Yo, for real? Don't you wish you bought it? You could have wrote it off as research. 

Frank: No, not back then.

Anthony: Did anybody notice I hid these noodles just in case there was one leftover? So, I hid them and I was like...

Frank: That shit was so good. 

Tucker: Just so you know… Honeygrow, if you ever come across a Honeygrow, get the vegan garlic noodles. 

Frank: Oh my God...

Tucker: They are fantastic. 

Frank: Unreal. 

Tucker: This rehearsal was fueled by Honeygrow. 

Anthony: My son, Jack, put this in my bag. 

Tucker: That's very cute.

Anthony: I just found it on my teen pictures.

Tucker: Well, we've taken up a lot of your time, so thank you for listening to us, and thank you for coming to our live thing, whatever this is called... Ted Talk. We'll see you in Chicago! All of us are going to be together. We're all on the way to Detroit now? 

Frank: Yeah, something like that... Drive me there. 

Tucker: We're giving Frank a ride in the Pink Chariot... That's our bus.

Anthony: Pink Chariot cannot be what we call the bus, it sounds so much like a wiener thing. 

Tucker: Maybe we'll call it something else. 

Travis: The Stink Chariot. 

Anthony: Stink Chariot. Museum of Smells. 

Tucker: On that note, thank you.

[randombubblegum]

jawn takes stupid looking photos & i hate the way he edits them and i’m so sick of parxtwt sucking all of awsten’s Yes Men’s dick and hyping him up like “jawn is the best photographer” “jawn takes such amazing photos he is my idol” “praise jawn for these photos” when like… they’re not good??? they’re literally nothing special?? and he edits them all to be so grainy and the colors are always weird

i remember the first time i met parx, it was at warped tour & the nice tent lady just took our phones and took pictures with our phones for us and those photos are so nice and pretty and HD and then during all the tour meet and greets, fucking jawn takes them and we don’t get them for days later and they’re edited weird and there’s only one?? like??? the warped tour lady took like 20+ photos for me from the second i walked up to them till i walked away. i have every moment documented. jawn takes one photo that i can’t even see right away and EDITS IT AND I HATe the way HE EDITS SO MUCH!!!!!!

AGH sorry i’m just seeing this stupid funeral grey photo all over the place and everyone on twitter hyping jawn up and i knew this would be a safe space for jawn hate and i just needed to rant. his photos aren’t good.

this ask is a little old but honestly with the current tour/m&g situation it feels pertinent LOL........... i rly dont care for jawns recent style of warping the shit out of every photo of parx lol like edit as you please but stop using the photoshop stretch tool and fake fisheye filters PLEASE........

also thats so funny that u mention that about the m&g pics bc thats been a problem for several tours including the last one AND this one LOL...... jawns last tweet before disappearing was a passive aggro reminder not to ask or dm him for the pics u paid for hell send them out when he feels like it :/ like okay jawn. why arent u allowed to use ur own phone for the pics you paid 75$+ for anyway lol

[joelthedinosaur]

Joel Miller Headcanons: Music Edition Part 3

I am back, babies, to bring you more Daddy Joel content that we crave! These are some of my more popular posts and I have lots of fun putting these together

If Joel is by default a George Strait man coming from a Texas upbringing in the late 80s and 90s, he is by default a Garth Brooks man

He listens to Selena and you can't change my mind on that

Red Dirt country music from Texas is right down Joel's alley but I think that's mostly due to his upbringing around it

Joel Miller also fucks to Jackyl pass that on too

I feel like growing up in Texas in the time period he did that Joel was steeped in alt rock, country, metal, etc and he's definitely not your average "country boy"

Imagine the drunk karaoke of Kid Rock's "Picture" from Joel

It's canon that Joel likes Pearl Jam but imagine Joel in a Nirvana tee imagine once an old girlfriend convinced him to wear black eyeliner imagine the flannel imagine how beautiful

Warped Tour would have been something he'd go to especially with Sarah if she was into that (I dare say she was due to Joel's musical influence)

Pantera is one of Joel's favorite bands and Cowboys From Hell is one of his favorite songs

It's a favorite pastime of mine to imagine Joel in 90's grunge and the cowboy boots stay on

He can easily slip between 80s heartbreak country, grunge, heavy metal, and everything in between because he has great taste

[x-v4mp3y3lin3r-x]

my toxic trait is that I happily take the opposing view of any popular opinion if the people saying the opinion are annoying me. The most recent example is When We Were Young fest. So many people have just decided to treat their assumptions as fact, and after seeing a billion posts echoing the same assumptions, and getting comments on MY posts trying to "educate me about it being a scam" I've actually decided that I fucking hate everyone

and the "they did Astroworld" posts are annoying. Live Nation also runs Warped Tour, and many, many other festivals. And Travis Scott had already been arrested prior to Astroworld for inciting violence at his shows. believe whatever you want, but I see post after post implying that people are going to die at When We Were Young and it's... disgusting. Not only is it disrespectful to the people who died at Astroworld and their families, but it's just fucked up.

Like this TikTok.

Why would you joke about this? How do you go through the effort of filming, editing, and posting this, and not once think "Maybe I shouldn't post this! Maybe I shouldn't imply that people will die!"

[ipromiseiwilltakeyouthere]

Tagged by @explosionshark and I haven’t done one of these in a while so let’s go!

1. What is the first song you remember hearing?-

 Hmm, I’m not really sure. I think one of them actually might be “good riddance (time of your life) by green day which was all over the radio when i was 3 or 4 but maybe or probly nsync or ricky martin or britney spears or something lol. 

2. What is the first band you got into?

Green Day!!! American Idiot came out and I was the right age and it just clicked. Them and My Chemical Romance both shaped my taste!

3. Do you collect any physical music?

Uh. Yeah. I have way too much physical music. Moving it up here to canada was kind of a hassle but I fit it all! I have probly around 200+ cds, maybe more- and over 100 + vinyl, oh and also like 30 tapes probly. (I love cassette tapes)

4. What is your favorite piece of music memorabilia?

All of my vintage nine inch nails shirts and all my pressings of three cheers for sweet revenge on vinyl. But the vintage nin shirts for sure. I have them all in a footlocker back in pennsylvania and I cannot wait to get them back because I love them so much. I snipe em on ebay for great prices (mostly).

5. The favorite concert you’ve been to?

Even though I went with someone that would’ve been nice to not go with, I also went with my brother so- nine inch nails back in 2018. It was also cool to see My Chem at Madison sq. garden back in 08′. But I think nine inch nails put on one of the best shows i’ve ever seen on a big scale. (yo but also back in 2019 seeing ghostemane for the first time was fucking cool as hell)

6. If you could see one artist who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

Nirvana for sure. I think. They’re one of my favorite bands still and to this day I keep finding meaning in their music and through interviews. They genuinely were the musicians who broke the mold and were just doing it because they loved to play music. They’re the first band I can think of. (i think seeing lil peep would be cool too?)

7. Have you met any musicians?

Oh yeah, thomas erak from fall of troy, lemmy from motorhead, frank iero from mcr, ghostemane, chris motionless a bunch of times, jake casualty randomly in the middle of soho lol. and a bunch of other people at warped tour etc. MANY musicians! I wanna meet lady gaga! I wanna meet trent reznor! 

8. What’s your go to album when you’re feeling sad?

You know, I don’t really know. I haven’t really put an album on that I listen to when I get sad in a while (mostly cos I don’t really get sad anymore). I remember listening to a lot of emo going through shit in highschool. But I think I’ll probly go with The Fragile by Nine inch nails- It just gives me a melancholic feeling.  

9. What’s your go to album when you’re feeling happy?

Elephant by the white stripes? That’s the first one that came to mind. Fun to drive to. Or maybe Speak and Spell by depeche mode cos its so upbeat. -edit, deffo fall out boy’s first two records FOR SURE

10. One music documentary you love?

I liked the VH1 metal history series whatever it was called. Shame they only did such a broad range of metal subgenres. Obviously they could have gone way deeper. Like the hip hop one I’m watching on netflix; There is so much history of hip hop its so cool to see how different regions took that genre and bent it in such a short time. Really cool shit. 

11. What is one concert DVD that you love?

I really don’t watch live DVDs they’re not really my thing but Bullet in a a Bible by Green Day is obviously a banger. 

12. Do you prefer listening to playlists or albums?

Albums if I’m in the car, Albums if I’m spinning wax, playlists if I’m doing chores or something and playlists if I’m in the shower. 

13. Do you listen to albums in order or on shuffle?

playlists go on shuffle but albums are most certainly in order 1000% of the time. if you like albums shuffled you’re a monster. 

14. What is your favorite deep cut song by your favorite artist?

omg Summerboy by lady gaga off of the fame. Pretty much a lot of the fame are some deep cuts and I fucking love that album. I like it rough? Star Struck? bangers. Listen to this album if you like 80s synth dance music- gaga was so ahead of her time. 

15. What is your favorite CD/cassette/vinyl you own in terms of its packaging?

hmm- I think I’d probly go with shout at the devil by motley crue because I got an original pressing that still has a catalog in it to send money to an address and get xyz (shirt, record, accessory) like I just think its really cool. I can’t really think of any that stand out too much. Gatefolds are obviously pretty cool though. But nothing as of right now strikes me. 

[yourcoffindoor]

Bulletproof Heart Pt. 3

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

AN: Without further ado, here’s part 3! Sorry if there’s any typos that I missed, I kind of speed edited this one. I have one more part planned for this series, so the end is coming up soon. Hope you enjoy!!

From city to city, crowd to crowd, the tour continued on, and you went on with the show, your unwelcome encounter with Alex only making you more tenacious, more determined to outperform every band there.

You put on an unaffected front, making it seem as if you couldn't care less that he was playing Warped tour as well. Gavin was the only band member who knew about your history, and he fluttered about you like a mother hen ready to offer comfort or homicide at the drop of a hat. He would regularly attempt to gauge your feelings, but it only served to make you withdraw deeper into yourself, denying that could ever be shaken by his presence.

But the truth was you were shaken. You were scared.  Scared that you would one day see that face smirking at you from a crowd and freeze, unable to ignore a presence so heavy and halting like a storm cloud threatening a downpour.

And then there was Gerard. You hadn't seen him since your first show, but your thoughts turned toward him again and again. What must he have thought that day, when Alex forced his way between you? When you stormed off alone? If he had tried to come and speak to you since that day, you hadn't heard anything. Did he think that there was still something left between you and Alex?

It was that thought that caused the most pain every time it crossed your mind, and you hated yourself for it. At night when you were alone your thoughts went around and around in the same infuriating cycle, from not caring what anyone had to think about you, to anxiously wondering if Gerard had someone else he was sharing that crooked smile with. You never let the words cross your mind or leave your lips, but your heart beat constantly with the hopeful thought: Please don't think that I could have feelings for anyone else.

Meanwhile, the Parties never ended--in fact they seemed to grow in boisterousness, picking up attendees like a tornado gathering wind. Your band mates went every now and again to socialize, but They held no value for you. Primarily because the chance of running into Alex was far too high-- You knew he would never miss an opportunity to get shit faced, and he would probably be skulking around in hopes of seeing you there, ready to latch on and torment you further. But beyond that, the chance of running into Gerard was likely to be less than zero.

That didn't stop your band mates from encouraging you to loosen up, hoping to pop the contemplative bubble that you'd encased yourself in for weeks.

"I'm gonna head out. What are you up to tonight? You should take a break from everything." Gavin suggested before heading out one night, despite knowing full well you'd die before you'd agree.

"I'll find something to keep me busy."

"I'd tell you to come with, but I know a certain someone you're crushing on won't be there."

"Oh really?" You flipped through a book on the table in front of you, playing dumb and failing miserably at it. "I do not know to whom you are referring."

"Yeah poor guy. Frank told me that there's too much pressure to drink here, so he's always in the bus alone. Bored. Desperate for human contact."

You gave Gavin the side-eye. "Alright alright, we get it."

He laughed. "Their bus is five down on the left. Y'know, if you feel like it. Thank me later." He said, darting out the door before anything could be thrown at him.

You rolled your eyes and flipped through the book, trying to read and forget the information that was just dropped in your lap. You remembered when you and Gerard had last spoke, how shy he looked when he attempted to invite you over before being cut off by Alex's sudden arrival.

Maybe a quick stop wouldn't hurt, you thought to yourself. He was in the middle of asking me to anyway...

Before you knew it you were on your feet, flinging on a jacket and taking a step outside. It would be the nice thing to do after all, since he can't leave the bus...

It took a bit of searching, but you finally found a bus with My Chemical Romance painted on its side in large black letters. Your heart did its familiar flutter as you walked up to the door, raising your hand and giving a rapid succession of knocks.

You heard a slight shuffle from inside, and after a few moments Gerard answered, his face changing from one of confusion to a soft smile as he shook the hair from out of his eyes.

"I hope this isn't a bad time," you said sheepishly, "I was told I could find some good comics here."

He flicked his spent cigarette to the ground, blowing smoke from the corner of his mouth. "Is there ever a bad time for comics? Come on in."

You followed him inside, and he stopped suddenly. "Aw shit." he muttered.

"What is it?" you asked, concerned.

"I just realized we're fucking slobs."

He wasn't wrong, you observed with a laugh. The interior of the bus was divided into piles of organized chaos; clothes tossed into piles on the floor and empty chairs, makeup left open and scattered amongst soda cans by every available counter space. A few stray guitars sat soundless, happily resting until their next performance.

Gerard was obviously a bit embarrassed by the state of the place, as evidenced by the faint red blush that clouded over his nose and cheeks.

"Yeah, so its not exactly Buckingham Palace in here..." he joked, one hand anxiously running through his dark hair. His bashfulness only endeared him to you further.

"Well my bus actually IS Buckingham Palace, and it looks just about the same so don't feel too bad."

"Perfect. Anything to make you feel more at home." He mused, relocating some crumpled clothes from a small sofa nearby. "Have a seat, your majesty."

"I haven't seen you around in awhile." You noted as he hastily shoved things into cupboards.

"I've basically turned into a hermit when I'm not performing. Since I can't step outside without seeing a bottle, I don't really have much choice."

So Gavin was telling the truth. Hm.

"Well, the hermit lifestyle is probably underrated anyway."

He laughed softly. "Oh for sure. And I'll show you whats been keeping me busy this whole time."

Gerard shuffled to the back of the bus for a moment before returning with an armload of comic books, laying them proudly on the table in front of you. "These are some of my current favorites," he began after taking a seat beside you, close enough for you to admire the look of sheer happiness in his expression as he spoke. He was clearly in his element. "This one here has some of the best coloring I've ever seen."

You must have stared at him for a bit too long because he caught your affectionate glance and paused.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," you said, immediately breaking eye contact as heat flooded your cheeks. "Its just nice to hear you talk about them. You're so passionate about it."

He laughed. "Well its also nice to talk about them with someone who gets it."

You felt like you could fly right out of your skin. Everything about him made you feel a sense of belonging that you hadn't found with anyone else before.

"Hey when do I get to see that comic you said you were working on? I think you mentioned that the last time I saw you."

"Oh you remembered! Uh, one sec, I'll pull it out."

He wandered back into the unknown void that was his bunk, and came back with a folio filled to the brim with concepts, sample panels and character sketches.

"I'm pretty proud of this. Its a work in progress so uh...be gentle."

You knew Gerard was talented, but you were taken aback at the skill and creativity that had gone into this endeavor. Here he had created a world entirely his own and you were drawn in immediately.

"Gerard this is fucking fantastic! Seriously I need a full length comic right now."

"Right now? I'd rather talk to you."

You and Gerard talked as if you'd known each other forever. You found him to be witty and charming, but most importantly sincere; and the conversation flowed with ease.

"You know I'm a little surprised. I wouldn't have expected a guy like you to be alone in his bus on a big tour like this."

He laughed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean there's a lot of bands here that seem like they're only motivated by the attention they can get from girls. You're not like that."

"Its never been about that for me. I find those guys just as annoying as you do." He paused for a moment, hesitating as if he was unsure if he should continue. "Speaking of annoying...That guy, Alex--"

"Oh, yeah, sorry about him. I didn't even know he was gonna be on this tour since I haven't spoken to him in ages. I'm doing my best to avoid him."

"You seemed pretty upset when I saw you last. Just wanted to make sure he wasn't bothering you or anything."

You paused for a moment, replaying his words in your head to process them. Gerard not only noticed your reaction to Alex, he remembered and was concerned?

"So you guys aren't like...a thing anymore?"

"NO," you said a bit too eagerly. "I mean no, definitely not. I'd have to be crazy."

"Good," he replied softly, "I mean, I'm glad as long as you're happy."

You realized you had been making eye contact with his lips, the pair of you inching closer to each other with every syllable.

Your breath slowed, and you tucked a strand of stray hair behind your ear. "And...there's no one that you're involved with?"

"No," he confirmed without missing a beat, "but there is someone I have in mind."

If there was a speed limit for heartbeats, you would have been violating the law. Your next words came out almost as a whisper. "And who would that be?"

Hazel eyes flashing, Gerard cupped the side of your face with one hand, and you instinctively moved closer to meet his lips. The kiss felt like it was part dream, too good to be true as endorphins flooded your veins, a heat kindling in your stomach. You couldn't begin to tell if it lasted seconds or minutes, but still when your lips parted, it felt too soon.

"Oh." was all you could say, and the pair of you merely grinned, satisfied to be silent in the aftermath.

You caught a glance at your watch. 1:05 AM.

"I can't believe I have the willpower to do this," you began reluctantly, "but If I don't head back now I'll end up living here."

"I don't see the problem." he remarked, and you punched him in the arm.

"Thanks for a great night." you pecked him on the cheek, and before he had time to react, you jumped up and made your way towards the door.

"Come back anytime for more talk about comics!" he called after you with a laugh.

Your cheeks were buzzing and a warmth spread through your veins, giddy from your night with Gerard. You paused outside of your bus door, taking a deep breath to try and steady your heartbeat. You didn't want to rouse any suspicion from your band mates-not yet anyway. You just wanted to keep this moment to yourself for awhile.

After you cooled down, you quietly opened the door, hoping nobody would notice you sneaking in and that you could hop straight into your bunk. Instead you were met with Gavin and Liz sitting down on the sofa, looking very concerned.

"Hey," you said with hesitation, "Everything alright?"

They shared an uncomfortable look.

"Y/N, I'm not sure how to put this..." Liz began, fumbling with her fingers in an attempt to find the right words.

"What's going on?" you felt the blush from only moments ago drain away into cold dread.

"Its Alex," Gavin explained, "He and his band have been going around with a camera getting girls to flash them in exchange for backstage passes..."

You rolled your eyes. "So he's still trash. What does this have to do with me?"

"Well, the thing is, he's been telling people he has video of you. And him. Together. And that its gonna be included with the rest of the fucked up footage they're recording."

Your pulse started racing, erasing your giddy buzz from only moments before. You slumped into the nearest chair, trying to gather your thoughts.

"I never even knew I was being filmed..." you said softly. Nausea bubbled in your stomach as you were unwillingly dragged back into your intimate memories, a place you had successfully moved on from in recent years but whose impact you could never truly erase.

"Are you ok?" Liz asked, her voice low and gentle as though she was afraid you were about to shatter. Those words were all you needed to be set off.

"No. No I'm not fucking okay." You stood up suddenly from your chair, pacing. "Do you know how hard it was to leave that situation? Do you you know you much I struggled to make a life an a name for myself? How I had to rebuild myself after him? And now this?" You were shaking, your voice trembling with pent up emotion. "This was supposed to be an amazing, once in a lifetime experience. The beginning of everything for us. So why can't I just be left the fuck alone!"  

Your band mates called after you as you stormed to your bunk, pulling the curtains tight behind you and burying your face in your pillow. For the first time in a long time, you let yourself break down, your unhindered sobs turning your pillow into an ocean.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

creature of the night* vinny mauro x reader

+++++++++ Watching the Rocky horror picture show together for the first time

sorry this took me so long to put out holy shit. i will have another smut shot posted soon, i have to edit it still. enjoy none the less

* - shes here

Song: like lovers do by hey violet

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @alilpunkrock @ryansitkowskiswifey @theoneandonlykymberlee @svintsandghosts @cynic-spirit +++++++++

I came back into the room holding a bag of popcorn and falling into the couch where I had been before. I had invited Vinny over to watch a movie and picked one of my personal favorites: the Rocky horror picture show. I tossed a piece of the popcorn into my mouth before handing vinny the bag.

"I still can't believe you've never seen this. You're twenty five for fucks sake. Hell I've been watching this movie since I was like eleven."

He crunched on the popcorn and shrugged at me.

"It was just never of any interest. you know I'm into more nerdy things. Like star wars."

I laughed a little, taking the bag back from him and tossing a few kernels into my mouth.

"Well yeah, so am I but it's a classic! I have like all the songs down pat, some of the dances too."

I looked over at him and he was shaking his head.

"Oh I'm well aware, remember, you were performing a few of them backstage last tour. I have the videos to prove it."

I smirked at him and tossed some of the popcorn his way.

"I thought I told you to delete those. If there's one thing I don't need it's the internet seeing me singing and dancing to the time warp very shittily."

He laughed at me as he picked the kernels off his shirt and ate them.

"Oh no, I'm keeping those forever, ya know for my own enjoyment. And maybe I'll just have to take more, you've already been singing along to some of the songs."

I nodded once very proudly.

"Yes I have. The most embarrassing one is coming up though, it's hilarious."

He sent me a look.

"I feel like I should be scared."

I laughed and shook my head.

"Don't be."

We both turned our attention back to the movie. I was right, it really was a super awkward part of the movie. I sat and watched in agony as "toucha toucha" came on, cringing but singing along anyways.

"I was feeling down and- couldn't win. I'd only ever kissed before-"

I paused and laughed a little bit.

"Hah, same."

I said, continuing singing. Then Vinny looked at me.

"Wait really?"

I looked at him and shrugged as I continued to act out the scene from my spot on the couch.

"Toucha toucha toucha touch me!"

I mocked Columbia's voice, standing up and dancing around. Vinny just laughed at me.

"You are something else."

"I wanna be dirty!"

I sang, mocking the actors, walking around the living room. Vinny just watched me with a wide smile on his face. When the song ended I breathed heavily from dancing and laughed.

"Damn I think I need a drink now, you want something?"

I said walking towards the kitchen as the scene changed. He didn't answer me so I figured no, but as I reached for a cup he announced himself and scared me.

"Have you really never had sex?"

I let out a short laugh.

"Yeah? What about it?"

He crossed his arms over his chest as he stood in the door way.

"I don't know I guess I just find it hard to believe. You're always making jokes and flirting around and stuff like you've had practice."

I shrugged, taking a drink.

"And what's wrong with that? I mean I've always kinda wanted to but I've never been in a serious relationship long enough to get there. You know, I'm not a one and done kinda person."

I walked a little further away from the fridge and leaned against the table. He nodded in understanding.

"What if it was with a friend?"

I laughed a little but stopped when I realized his serious expression didn't break.

"Wait, you can't be serious. Vinny youre my best friend."

He shrugged, walking slowly to me.

"What's wrong with that? Friends sleep together all the time. And it's not like we don't have a connection already. Come on, you can't tell me you haven't thought about it. Specially not with the way you flirt."

He practically towered over me. I felt kind of small in that moment. He was right though. I had thought about it being him many times and kinda sorta really wanted to do it. He looked deep into my eyes before slamming his lips into mine. It took me completely by surprise, causing me to drop the hard plastic cup I was holding; Water went everywhere.

"Shit!"

I said pulling away. He looked down at our now soaked pants. He shrugged.

"Guess now we have to take them off..."

He smiled at me and I laughed, face planting lightly.

"Can't argue with that."

I said, peaking up at him between my fingers. He was grinning from ear to ear. When I moved my hand down to my chest he leaned forward and kissed me a little more hungrily. My hand slowly made its way into his soft hair as we made out. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist before lifting me up onto the table. I pulled away from him, placing a hand firmly against his chest. He went in for another kiss though.

"Wait."

I breathed out and he paused, still being severely close to me.

"What's wrong?"

He looked between my eyes with a concerned look on his face. I swallowed hard.

"Don't be rough."

I squeaked out and he smiled at me, kissing me gently.

"I'll do whatever you want."

I nodded.

"Thanks vin."

He leaned in and kissed me once reassuringly. He looked between my eyes for guidance before kissing me again and again, building back up. As we started making out again I felt his hands travel around my waist and pop the button on my jeans. Neither of us stopped kissing as I did the same to him, feeling him push his pants down. When he actually pulled away he kicked them completely off, coming back to help me with mine. I laughed a little bit as he pulled them down my legs.

"Is something funny?"

He said amused and I nodded.

"Yes, just, all of this is hilarious to me."

I confessed, hearing the movie still playing in the background. he kissed me quickly.

"Well I hope you enjoy yourself the whole time, not just this now."

I nodded.

"Oh I think I will."

I winked at him and he smirked at me, moving to pull his shirt off. I inhaled sharply. I know id seen him without it before but he must have been working out since I'd seen him last cause hot damn.

"Like what you see?"

He said a little cocky and I bit my lip, nodding slowly.

"I'm glad to hear that."

He leaned forward and kissed my neck. I stiffened at the contact but relaxed as he kissed along my jawline, pulling at my shirt too to get it off. When it was gone he was quick to pull me to the edge of the table. He began kissing me slowly, running his fingers lightly down my body. I hummed into his mouth as he ran his hand across my thigh. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes.

"Is it alright if I touch you?"

I nodded and he moved his hand closer to my core. i leaned in.

"Can I touch you?"

He smiled at me.

"Of course you can."

I hesitated for a second before sliding my hand in his boxers and running my hand over him. He groaned low in his throat as I began to pump him lightly. I watched him close his eyes as he leaned into my touch.

"Vinny?"

I watched his face.

"Yeah?"

He sighed out before opening his eyes and kissing me again.

"You're doing great baby."

I let go of him as he moved his hand, running his thumb up me over my panties. I opened my legs a little wider as he moved them to the side and circled my clit, making me moan.

"You're so wet already."

He said quietly, moving back down to kiss and suck at my neck. I ran my hands up his arms slowly and along his shoulder. I dropped my head back.

"I want you so bad vin."

I sighed out. He removed his thumb from my clit and replaced it with one of his fingers, running it down my folds and pushing it into me. I moaned at the feeling. He pulled away from me.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded.

"Please."

He pulled his finger out of me and pulled me closer to him, pushing his boxers down. We both looked down as he ran his tip up my folds and against my clit. I moaned loudly before he lined himself up with me and pushed into me slowly. I clenched my jaw at the feeling. He looked back up at me.

"You okay?"

I nodded quickly, trying to convince myself more-so than him.

"Yeah just go slow."

He kissed my forehead and began pulling out slowly, he got halfway before pushing back into me. He did that a few times, his hand making its way around my waist to hold me to him. It was starting to feel better at least.

"You can go faster."

I croaked out and he sent me a look.

"You sure?"

I kissed him gently.

"Yeah."

He nodded in response before doing as told and moaning into my neck. I held onto him, pressing my finger tips into his shoulder as he found a good pace. Both our breathing was getting heavier as he pushed in and out of me. When we were both comfortable he reached down and started circling my clit again. I moaned loudly and dropped my head back.

"Vinny."

I sighed out, hearing him grunt in response and look down. He had a hard grip on my hip as he started thrusting quicker, still moving against my clit. I leaned forward again, resting my forehead against his.

"Fuck."

He groaned out.

"Keep going."

I said between breaths, him nodding at me frantically and looking up at me finally. Then he hit something in me, earning a loud high pitched sound from me.

"Fuck!"

I yelled, coming around him. I dropped my arm back against the table to steady myself, letting him go as he pulled out of me. He leaned forward and kissed me hungrily as he pumped himself onto my legs, moaning into my mouth. When he finished he leaned forward, one hand on either side of me and we both just panted together. I ran my hand through his now sweaty hair and kissed the top of his head.

"Thanks for that vin."

He looked up at me before standing a little and hugging me, kissing the side of my head.

"Anything for a friend."

[jiaraendgame]

set it off

Set It Off

Do I know Them?

Yes! Also have been listening to them for years!

Favorite Song?

Once more, I can’t just pick one so here is a handful of the first ones that come to mind when I think favorite song.

1. Lonely Dance

2. Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

3. I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead

4. End In Tragedy

5. Horrible Kids

6. Pages & Paragraphs

Least Favorite Song?

I May Not Be Fred Flinstone but I Can Make Your Bed Rock

I just don’t like the song it feels very cringe to me haha, also with it being off their first EP from 2008 the production is rough not on just this song, but all the songs from that EP, but this one, in particular, I just don’t vibe with.

Favorite Album?

God that’s so hard to pick I’m such a sucker for nostalgia so I am between two albums right now. To pick just one though I will go with: Cinematics (Expanded Edition)

Least Favorite Album?

It’s a little bit of a cop-out, but I like all their albums except for their first EP Baby You Don’t Tripajaharda. Again with that being their first debut the production is rough and the songs aren’t as developed as future EP’s and full albums go.

Song That Got You Into Them?

The two songs I heard by them first that sent me down the hole of following their career were Breathe In, Breathe Out and @ Reply. Such good songs and I remember finding them and just falling in love.

Seen Live?

Yes! I’ve seen them live once it was back at the 2013 Vans Warped Tour! I also met Cody, Maxx, and Zach! I’d attach the pics, but I looked like a hot mess haha. Storytime though! I met Cody at their merch booth and he was(still is) so kind! We had a little chat after he took a photo with me and he was asking me if I was gonna be at their set that day (which duh I was) and just overall an awesome guy. Maxx and Zach I saw them walking somewhere and I went up to them and asked if it was okay for us to take a picture, they were both extremely sweet as well! We went to take the picture and a bee flew by us and Zach was not a fan of bees so he screamed and ran off for a second like nope fuck that shit and it was hilarious I have action shots of that whole situation taking place. After the bee fucked off he came back said sorry to me and then I got the picture with them and talked with them for a moment before they had to leave.

Band Rating?

Seeing as I still keep up with them avidly and enjoy their music growth and them as human beings I give them a solid 9/10

Send me a band/artist!

[unioncityrecordings]

there’s also that 2013 interview where hooky talks about owning a joy division dildo and when asked what he does with it he said he used to use it on bernard djsjddkdk. and he literally quotes his wife in his book “my wife says i’m obsessed (with bernard)”. barney is a desirable twink.

LMFAOOO OH GOD I FORGOT ABT THE … UNKNOWN PLEASURES THING I HATE HOOKY’S ASS…. THAT QUOTE FROM HIS BOOK TOO!!! HE LITERALLY IS SO OBSESSED WITH BERNARD ITS CREEPY!! I think in hooky’s case it is a mixture of envy/jealousy and resentment.. iirc in his book he blames bernard for not wanting to tour, and that if NO toured more they would’ve been as popular as U2… which isnt true for many reasons. LMFAO

I think he was pretty mad too that bernard got the gig/role of lead singer and didn’t like the spotlight/was reluctant to really… take advantage of it so to speak? and jealous of bernard’s talent as songwriter tbh… but besides that yes god bernard literally is a very desirable twink and also just an irl baby animal he is so cute. everyone just wants to kiss and hug him sjsdldkjfs!!

literal irl :3 emoji omg…. as an aside, I probably sound like a bitter ass with some weird fucking grudge against hooky and I might’ve not a great job explaining it well on this blog in the past so I’ll add a very long post under da cut (it shld be in a read more sorry mobile users if its not!!) 

My feelings about hooky are so negative for two reasons mostly because his book is full of undeserved negativity towards gillian especially (misogyny literally lol) and a few below the belt shots at bernard (not about bernard being a whore  but other things abt his family) and hooky’s own complaints at bernard’s style of singing/writing his own lyrics.. this is i think where i am unlike some NO fans probably bc its just a matter of taste? I think bernard is really underrated in some respects and doesn’t always get the respect/recognition he deserves for how talented he is (i have heard hooky = NO so many times but not the same about him :,( ) 

i think bernard has a really beautiful voice and he does really really amazing things singing melodies both live/on record (harmonies on try all you want on electronic s/t, the variation on the last verse of BLT ‘94 edit both come 2 mind… ;~~;) and imo the lyrics were good before but when he started writing them himself they had another touch to them… hooky has had some good contributions but I think revenge (his first side project) is pretty indicative of his talent as a songwriter (pineapple face.. wow) but bernard’s side projects/remixes shine w/ his personality/talent. hooky’s work in NO feels kind of. derivative of notes/riffs of guitar/synth bits so it feels lazy sometimes and suffered especially in the ‘00s but thats jus me

And not to sound like I have Lead Singer Disease (where your brain is so warped that you cannot See any other band member besides the singer), both steve and gill are rly talented, gillian especially doesnt get enough credit but that’s 4 another post! i went into it and spilled tea everywhere but i think its worth saying since i come off as maybe a bit biased and I also think about this a lot because I am active in NO groups on facebook/etc and get into fights whatever with old people… NO fans suck (me included) 

[pain-somnia]

(1)so, i've been re-reading AOY for like, the third time, and i just wanted to tell u how much i appreciate the way you write all of the characters. i feel like you approach them with empathy, or at least an understanding of some sort. like, you don't ignore their flaws or their virtues, you don't get viciously against or in favor of any of them. and even if your fic is focused on Hyde&Jackie and their relationship, u give depth to almost all of the characters,

(2) none of them could be replaced with a cardboard cutout, u know? and the dynamics in the group are fantastic, everyone matters to everyone in one way or another (although there are different degrees of closeness, of course). a long time ago i had started reading the eric/buddy fic u mentioned, and while it was well written and intriguing, i couldn't get past the first few chapters bc i can't handle fics that are too biased (not to say that it was bad, it just wasn't my thing).

(3) plenty of other t7s fanfics are biased too (to a certain extent), which is fine and completely normal, but idk, i just love that u seem to care for everyone at least a little bit. it's one of the things that makes AOY so compelling to me. i'm looking forward to what's next, especially bc i wanna know how Hyde&Jackie are gonna deal with their new-but-not-really relationship,

(4)and i NEED more Buddy&Fez, and Jackie&Donna. i also i have a good guess as to the ship you're gonna introduce, so i'm excited to see how you're gonna tackle them 👀. anyway, i didn't mean for this message to get so long lmao. hope you're doing well 💕.

First, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY WORK I’m in awe that you re-read it that much (I’m always in awe when ppl re-read my work)

I’m blushing so hard from your compliments. When I first came up with the idea to do this time travel fic I did mostly focus on Jackie and Hyde but then I started to think about the other characters and how Jackie isn’t entirely selfish and she is a compassionate person, so why shouldn’t relationships with other characters be mentioned or highlighted in some way?

(gonna try and put everything under the cut so I don’t clog up the dash but if it doesn’t work I’m so sorry)

Besides the fact that the show was about the group of friends, a huge bit of inspiration for giving more attention to the other characters especially having them do activities with each other especially outside of the basement actually came from my own years as a teen and into my early 20s. The zenmasters fandom is still really new to me unlike the sasusaku fandom so many don’t know about how I got really sick and lost the closeness I used to have with my irl friends due to my illnesses and inability to do all of the things I used to do with them. This is my way of capturing my love for my old friends in a way.

My home used to have the same feeling as Eric’s basement (every time my family moved my house was still THE house) and I was one of like three friends that were licensed (even up to our mid 20s) and I was the only one everyone fully trusted to drive. So in a way I was the Eric of our friend group especially when you add in my mom’s train of thought when it came to my friends and I which was that she would rather us eat everything in her fridge in kitchen and have her go broke feeding us than for us to be out doing stupid shit. It didn’t stop us from doing stupid shit but that was our life lol

we used to trespass into places (abandoned houses, abandoned asylum, parks and fields and lakes when they were closed at night), I had an ex that stole a golf cart from a security guard cuz it was there and the keys were in the ignition and we all fucking scattered when the guy showed up, we would fuck around at my house or another friend’s house and drinking and weed (and acid and shrooms) were usually involved (I was the mom friend so I always took care of everyone and was designated driver), we went to concerts even if we had to drive to other states and also went to Warped Tour almost every year until I got sick af. We would find the perfect places to watch meteor showers and hold bonfires at a friend’s house (although we did start a bonfire in a soccer field we had no business being in at that time at night).

And we would drive around for hours with no destination. We typically told our parents we were going bowling when we did and we never fucking went bowling lol

There’s so much that we did

This is all the energy of my personal experience being a teenager with access to a minivan and then my own car that really made me think about the T7S gang and even though I want to focus so much on Jackie and Hyde and their romance, I feel like I would be doing such a disservice to the friendships in the show by not having them be actual friends in the story.

I’ve had a friend abandoned by her mother and she moved in with a bf and we all helped her (I had to teach her how to cook rice in a pot cuz her bf didn’t have a rice cooker and my mom made sure she knew she could come live with us if she got fed up with her bf’s family) and my family has opened their home to my friend and her family when they were in between homes. I’ve had to help friends through bad trips. We’ve all had our hearts broken. Some of us have dealt with being queer and learning about our own identities and the struggle with finding out who we really are. I found out my father wasn’t my biological father when I was 20 lol

And we all had each other during those moments. Just like how the T7S gang had each other. So I felt personally invested in making sure to elaborate on moments where they were hanging out and being friends to each other.

And I know. God that fic. Whenever I re-ead that fic I actually skip a lot and my last re-read of it made me feel like I couldn’t read it again just because it is way too biased. Like it completely absolves a certain character of everything and I kind of lost it when Brooke had to apologize to him in the fic....I feel like, you should definitely be able to criticize things that you love and that it doesn’t take away any love to recognize the bad with the good.

Like right now I have to show some bias against Kelso for the part of the story but I keep editing it so it’s not complete hate against him. It’s just for this part of the story he is well just being him which is unfortunately ugly and it has to be ugly until he can grow. But I feel guilty about it lol don’t hate me too much for what he has to go through first

Jackie and Donna. I have such a weak spot for them in my fic mostly because for the longest time I didn’t really have many girl friends. I was always too much of a boy, too weird, too ugly for the other girls so I didn’t have someone I was truly super close with until I was in like 8th grade. And there’s this sisterhood with Jackie and Donna that I wish they did better. Like ignoring s8 completely, there just could have been more. But the sweet moments we got were amazing. I just feel like the writers knew fuck all how to make the girls proper friends without feeling like they were losing the characters and how they were.

i will probably be introducing that ship in chapter 8. I’m just struggling wrapping up the last bit of chapter 7 aka the January 31st part. I’ve just been staring at page 56 and wondering if I’m doing it right.

[imaginedeux]

Girl At The Rock Show (E.D. Imagine)

A/N: So Warped Tour happened like almost a year ago now, and I've been wanting to write something. I’ve read a couple of imagines where the reader goes to Cochella with the twins, but I haven't read them going to Warped Tour, and that’s honestly a concept. The show is going to be in San Diego, but i’ll be putting set times from when I went.

“Hey whats up guys! We’re back! Well, I’m back, Grayson is sick and can't film/ can't leave the house, but don't worry, we have four other amazing people here to help me with today’s video! Please introduce yourselves to the camera!” Ethan yelled at the camera from the passenger seat, pointing it at you.

“Hey! It’s (Y/N)! And I’m currently driving E’s car the three hour journey to San Diego.” You fake groaned, before you smiled at the camera, making sure you stayed in your lane. Your three other friends in the back seat all yelled hello before Ethan said he would update them when they got to the location.

“Awesome, now for a 3 hour nap.” Ethan sighed, putting his feet onto the dashboard.

“Oh, heck nah! You have at least three hours to learn one song from one of the bands playing today.” You explained, giving him your phone that was tethered to the car’s bluetooth. “I have a playlist on Spotify with a bunch of songs from some bands playing today, so you better get learning.”

“I’ll give you 3 seconds to guess where we are today!” Ethan yelled at his camera as you grabbed your draw string backpack from the trunk, ready to get the long day stared. “Well you’re probably wrong, or you're right cause you read the title to the video. I’m at the LAST Vans Warped Tour in San Diego! As you know a couple of months ago, Gray and I surprised (Y/N) with a ticket to Cochella, and she had the time of her life. Now a month-ish ago she surprised Gray and I with tickets to Warped Tour, but unfortunately Gray got sick, so we gave his ticket to one of (Y/N)’s friends since they didn't have the chance to buy a ticket before it sold out. So now we’re here, I’m not sure how much i’ll be able to film because it is a sold out gig and there are going to be a ton of people, I might just get (Y/N) to film for me.”

“I’ll only film for you if you end up crowd surfing, everything else is on you.” You shook your head closing the trunk of his car, after making sure everyone had what they needed. “Alright lets head out!” A five minute walk from the rather sketchy $20 parking lot later, your group came across the end of the line. “No fucking way, the entrance is literally around the block, and the doors don't open for another hour.”

“See, I told you we should have brought the cans of food, we would have gotten early entrances.” Your friend Carla, lectured as people with bags of food cans walked by.

“I completely forgot about them! I could have sworn I had them at the apartment before we left, but I couldn't find them this morning.” You explained, groaning. If you had non-perishable cans of food, or even an old cellphone, and you donated them, you'd be able to enter the grounds, about half an hour before everyone else did.

“Wait, were they all cans of corn?” Ethan asked from behind you. Turning, you gave him a look.

“Yes...” You answered squinting your eyes at him. “Did you take them?! I swear E, if you did...” You started before Ethan covered your mouth with his free hand, the other holding onto the camera recording the scene in front of him.

“No, wait, they’re in the car. They were in the cardboard boxes next to the first aid kit.” Ethan explained, pointing the camera at himself, before the group of you started to yell.

“E, can you PLEASE, go and grab them? Please! I’ll buy you a whole pineapple pizza to yourself when we get to the hotel tonight.” You pleaded, taking the camera away from him. A laugh at the group later, he was sprinting back towards the car, ready to get this long day started.

“Thank you guys for the donations, you all have a good day!” The woman taking the cans said, scanning your tickets.

“Likewise!” The lot of you smiled back, making your way towards the grounds. “So how is this going to work? Cause I know Carla, Kevin and Jack wanna go and see Crown The Empire, and it looks like they’re one of the first to play at the White Lightning Stage, and that’s on the other side of the venue.” You said looking up between the inflatable line-up and the venue map you payed way too much for. 

“Well, it looks like All Time Low is gonna be the last to play today at the Right Foot Stage at 8:30, and thats a band we all wanna see so we can meet up at the end of the day of thats what you want?” Jack, said pointing at the line up. This was one of the things about warped, most of the time the bands you wanna see play at same time and on opposite sides of the venue. 

“Wait look, Chase Atlantic is playing at 7:55, isn't that the band you wanna see?” You asked looking up at Ethan, who was looking back at the line up.

“Yeah it is, but its at 7:55, which means that we’ll be late to the band y'all wanna see.” Ethan realized, looking at how long Chase would play. “I know you’ve been wanting to see All Time Low for years, and I don't want you to miss out on them.”

“Thats nonsense, so looks like we have a plan. Jack, you, Carla and Kevin wanna see the same bands, so you can stick together. I’ll stick with Ethan, so we’ll meet you at the Right Foot Stage at around 8:30, if anything I brought an extra battery pack so I can text y'all.” You smiled at the group before the five of you split. 

“You ready to see a real rock show?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, maybe its a good idea that Gray didn't come, he’d be freaking out about Chase, he’s the one who got me into them.” Ethan laughed as the two of you walked by multiple vendors trying to sell the two of you things you really didn't need. 

“Get your free bracelet for the opportunity to meet State Champs!” A vendor yelled as you walked by, causing you to stop dead in your tracks. You weren't sure if it was the State Champs t-shirt you decided to wear with a pair of high waisted black shorts and your trusty Sk-8 Hi black Vans, or if it was the multiple home-made SC patches that decorated our backpack, that made the lady yell the moment you passed by.

“E, give me a second.” You whispered, before you hauled ass towards the booth with the lady who was yelling. “Hi, is it true you’re giving fans a chance to meet State Champs?”

“Yup, I saw your patches and I couldn't let the opportunity pass. So, it is a free meet and greet, all you have to do is watch this video, its only 2 minutes long so it won't take too much time out of your day, then after its done, we’ll go ahead and give you a bracelet for the meet and greet at 1:30 at the tent right next door.” She explained pointing at the places that you needed to go to, to be able to meet your favorite band at the festival.

“Can I get to meet them too?” The hazel eyed boy asked from beside you.

“Sure, just go ahead and watch a quick video and I’ll give you a bracelet to meet them at 1:30 at the tent next door.” She gave him the same smile she gave you, pointing everything out. The video was short and to the point, don't smoke, it'll kill you. “Thank you so much for watching the video, and here are the bracelets you need to meet State Champs. The meet and greet will start at 1:30 so if you want to get here before hand thats alright.”

“Thank you!” The two of you yelled, walking away from the tent not sure what to do next. “So are there any bands you wanna see?” 

“DID YOU SEE THAT?!” Ethan yelled coming back up from behind you, you had to admit that you were surprised to see Ethan actually crowd surf his way to the front where Mayday Parade was playing.

“Of course I did, and you're gonna be happy I got that all on film.” You laughed at him, with the camera in your hand. You and your friends were concert goers but not brave enough to crowd surf yet. “This video is going to be killer to edit next week.”

“Dont worry I’ll get Gray to edit it since he was too sick to come along.” Ethan laughed looking over the crowd as they jumped and danced along to the band covering Blink-182′s Girl at The Rock Show. “Not even at Coachella are people this hyped to see their favorite band or artist. We need to come to more of these.”

“Some of the bands have been making music since a lot of these kids were young, they grew up hearing these bands. Warped is decently priced so this might be some of these peoples only chance of seeing their favorite band live.” You explained as the lead singer, Derek thanked the crowd for letting them play main stage, and said they would be playing their last song next, which was a fan favorite. “Come on E, Mayday’s almost done, so that means its almost 1:30, its time to meet State Champs.”

~~

“Next please!” The already annoyed merch employee yelled as some kids stepped out of the tent.

“Holy shit E, it really is them!” You mumbled covering your mouth as you and Ethan stepped into the tent.

“Hey yall, how’s warped tour going?” Derek, the lead singer asked as the two of you came face to face with one of your favorite bands in the last couple of years.

“It’s good so far, it’ll be even better once I see yall play! By the way, can I get a hug please?” You asked almost shaking, this band was the reason you got out of the comfort zone of your hometown and are the reason you moved to L.A., they gave you the courage to do everything you were scared to do before.

“Come on in here!” Ryan, one of the guitarists laughed bringing you in for a bone crushing hug. “You to my man! Hugs for everyone.” E’s laugh rumbled through the tent as the group of you came in for a group hug. You never thought that you’d ever be able to meet them, much less hug them.

“Can we get a group picture?” Ethan asked this time, you’d honestly forgotten about asking for picture with them, being in the same city as them was good enough for you.

“Sure, anything you guys wanna do?” Tyler, the other guitarist asked.

“How about 90′s rap cover group picture?” You asked shaking out of your state of shock. “Honestly its the only thing I can think of and I’m just remembering the photo of pigeons that looked like they were about to drop the greatest rap album of the century.”

“I know which one you’re talking about! Dude I honestly didn’t think anyone remembers that photo.” Tony, the bass player grinned at the thought of the pigeon photo. Handing over his phone, Ethan quickly squatted down in front of you, Derek doing the same as the rest of the band stood next to you, allowing you to be in the center of the picture. 

“Thank you again for coming to Warped Tour, thank you for being a fan of us and allowing us to come out and play all away across the country from our hometown.” Evan said giving you another hug. 

“Thank you all as well, your music gave me the courage to move out of my little hometown to L.A., without ya’ll, I don’t know where I would be.” You grinned, before you hugged all of them one last time. “Can’t wait to see yall play later!”

~~

“I still can’t believe that we met State Champs, they’re all as beautiful as they look like on Instagram.” You gushed biting into one of the ice pops the two of you bought for way too much.

“(Y/N), that was like two hours ago, you even got to see them live. How are you still going on about them?” Ethan asked chucking the stick into the nearest trashcan, it’d been a couple of hours since State Champs played and the two of you decided to wonder around the festival grounds.

“I don’t know, their music gave me so much courage to be myself, they’re the reason why i’m standing here in San Diego, because without them I wouldn’t have moved to L.A., met you, Gray, Carla, Jack, and Kevin, and without yall, I wouldnt have gotten the chance at meeting them.” You explained grinning at Ethan. “I really do owe it all to them. So, anyways, what do you wanna do now? We have a couple more hours till Chase, so we have time to do anything you want.”

“We haven’t filmed anything for the vlog in a while, why don’t we find a place to sit, and talk to the viewers.”

“Sorry it’s been a minute since we’ve updated you, but the group was disbanded so we could watch the bands we wanted to watch. What bands have we seen today?” Ethan asked, looking between you and the camera the two of you set up on an empty picnic table you were able to grab.

“We’ve seen Mayday Parade, we got to see a part of 3OH!3′s set, which was at more lit than I thought it was going to be, we saw my band State Champs, go follow them on all social media you wont regret it, when we finally got out of the pit, we got to see the last couple of songs for Simple Plan, and we just finished watching Bowling For Soup’s set. For those who dont know, Warped Tour is consisted of six different stages, the Journey’s Left Foot and Right Foot stage are the two main stages of the festival, while the other four are smaller stages, two are for the heavier bands and the other two are for smaller bands. Anyways, the reason we’ve seen 5 bands, is because they’ve been on the Left and Right stages so they’re right next to each other. Now we’re waiting for Chase Atlantic’s set and we’re going to meet back up with the group to watch All Time Low, another band you should go and follow on all social media, just follow all the bands, they’re all good.”

“Wow, talk about that plug. But I have to admit, their music has been really good, a lot of music you could work out too for sure. Oh, we also met (Y/N)’s favorite band State Champs, and they were actually really cool, they seemed really down to earth,” Ethan started before you gestured to put the photo in the video. “Insert picture here, I dont know how it looks and (Y/N), chose the pose, so if we look like idiots, blame (Y/N).”

“Hey, I’m giving them quality content, so you’re welcome.” You sassed looking down at your phone. “My friend from back home is mad at me that I’m Warped without her, and shes telling me to go check out a band if they haven’t played yet. Can I borrow your phone, to see if they’ve played yet?”

“So demanding,” Ethan joked as you grabbed his phone out of his hand. “If you have a chance at trying to come to one of these shows, do it. If you don’t mind walking around for hours, or being around large groups of people, and some of these band’s fans do go hard and start moshing, but if you don’t mind any of that, it something everyone should do at least once in their life.” 

“Hey, the band my friend is talking about is going to play in like 30 minutes, can we head over? It’s on the same page Chase Atlantic is playing at.”

~~

“We’re With Confidence, we’re all the way from Sydney, Australia, thank you so much for letting us play few songs for you guys today!” The lead singer, and also bassist said smiling. “I’m Jayden, this beautiful man on guitar is Inigo, and this equally beautiful man on drums is Josh. If you guys dont mind we’ll be meeting any one that wants to meet us, right at our tent over there, it’s big and pink you cant miss it. We’ll be signing your things and if you want, you can pre-order our album coming out at the end of the summer, and you can get both a physical and digital copy when you buy today.” 

“Oh my god, do you hear those accents? Why are they so beautiful?” You gushed as they played a new song coming out on the album they were talking about. Like most of the other songs they had played, they were all high energy, the kids up at the barricades were jumping along to the beat, and some of the kids in the middle of the crowd were opening up the pit for a circle pit, the dust flying up into the air as they ran around in a circle. That was one of the perks of being far from the barricades, and on the outside perimeter of the pit, you were able to see everything, and how the kids were reacting to the band. “I’ve never heard of this band, but they are amazing, i’m definitely signing up for a CD.”

“First, State Champs, now these guys? Who don’t you love, (Y/N)?” Ethan sighed, rolling his eyes as you got footage of the band and of the kids in the moshpit.

“I fall easily, all it takes is a pretty face and an amazing accent.” You stuck your tongue out at Ethan as the band started to play their final song.

“This entire video is going to be just you meeting bands.”  Ethan laughed as you pulled him to the meet and greet line for With Confidence.

“Hey, i’m at least giving you content E, you would have probably just pranked Gray if it wasnt for me.” You grinned at the camera knowing it was true.

“I mean true.”

“And, i’m giving your Instagram followers content as well, y’all have no idea how many times E has taken his shirt off today because of how warm it got, and he’s definitely gotten some stares from some of the kids here.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault it’s gotten warm!” He explained grabbing the camera from you, pointing it at himself as he tried to defend his actions.

“Um, I told you to wear shorts and a tank top, but no! I know how to dress for a festival, and its not going to get hot.” You mocked Ethan, grabbing the camera out of his hands as you used his cool voice. “And here he is suffering in black plaid jeans and a white long sleeve.” Laughing you showed the viewers the outfit he decided to wear to a summer festival.

“Well you’ll be the one complaining later when we go and see All Time Low, and you’re freezing.” Ethan shot back as one of the security guards started allowing the first kid to meet With Confidence.

“That’s what you think! While you were meeting some of fans, I went and bought myself an All Time Low hoodie so HA!” You laughed, shoving the camera towards Ethan to grab the hoodie you got from your favorite band. “They didnt have my size so I had to get the next size up, but its so comfortable guys.” You could already feel the shift in temperature so it was the perfect time to put on your hoodie. The hoodie reached below the hem of your shorts, and the sleeves went passed the tips of your fingers with ease, it looked like you were ready for bed, not ready to rock out at a concert.

--

Meeting With Confidence was a whole other experience, they were so happy to see people lining up to meet them. They were constantly thanking you and Ethan for being there to see them, and giving their band a chance. They were happy to hear that you were going to buy a CD and a couple of shirt from their merch stand, and were like that with the kids before and after you. A couple of heavier bands later, and Chase Atlantic started to play is when you started recording the crowd’s reaction to the band. Both you and Ethan realized that the music they’ve released, is played differently live. Rather than the sensual RnB vibe, they sounded like all the other rock bands that played that day. Midway through their set they thanked everyone for stay to see them play since they were one of the last bands playing that day, as they continued to thank the crowd, Ethan grabbed the camera and started recording the crowd from his perspective. This is something that the two of you had been doing all day, so both of you could enjoy the band, and it would give Gray more angles to edit. Its once Ethan started recording the crowd and the band that he realized how well you knew the lyrics to the songs. You swayed when the music slowed, you jumped along to the kick drum, you spun around as the lead singer sang the lyrics all the kids in the crowd knew. Ethan stepped back and started recording you as the lead singer stopped singing, allowing the crowd to sing the lyrics to one of their more famous songs. Although the temperatures continued to lower, that wasnt causing the blush on Ethan’s cheeks to appear.

“Alright, this is going to be the last song we play tonight, thank you for allowing us to play here to night, and I hope you guys have an amazing rest of the evening.” The lead singer, Mitchel, thanked as the band started playing the last song.

“E, come on! We need to head to the Right Foot Stage, Carla, Kevin and Jack are already there!” You yelled, literally pulling him out of his day dream and out of the crowd. As the two of you ran to one of the last stages still up, the two of you could hear the sea of kids singing along to some of the songs that were playing through the speakers, waiting for the final band to play. “Look, there they are!”

--

“Thank you guys so much!” Alex thanked the crowd before he started the last song of San Diego’s Warped Tour. 

“I’ve got your picture, i’m coming with you. Dear Maria count me in, theres a story at the bottom of this bottle and i’m the pen!” The entire crowd sang as, Alex, Jack and Zack jumped around the stage and around Rian, who was playing the drums. By the time the lot of you had gotten to the stage, you were a good twenty yards away from the stage, but it didnt bother you. If anything it allowed your group to step back, and be able to dance along to the songs you grew up with. It also gave Ethan the opportunity to record you guys without being shoved around in the pit. Then the song reached the long awaited climax, as Jack and Alex threw their guitars across the stage, the confetti cannons showered the crowd in multi colored paper. Although the sounds of the cannons startled Ethan, he never took his eyes off you as the pieces of paper fell around you. It was the gasp that made you stop spinning around to look at Ethan. 

He could have sworn that the sound of the crowd drowned out his gasp, but apparently it was loud enough for you to hear and stop spinning. It was the smile that put the nail in the coffin for Ethan. It was the biggest, and the realest smile he’s ever seen from you. Since the beginning of your friendship with Ethan, there was a difference in it. It wasn’t a normal friendship the two of you shared, it was something more. although the two of you refused to admit it. The two of you could lean on each other, the two of you were closer than even the fans knew about, and a majority knew how close the two of you lead on. The two of you talked about everything, from things that you saw that reminded you of each other, to desires of what you wanted to do in both the near and far future. When you started talking about how you wanted to go to the Last Cross Country Warped Tour, Ethan instantly jumped on the chance to buy the two of you tickets. So, no, Grayson wasn’t sick, he knew about the little plan his twin brother was creating. But since you weren’t aware, you invited your friends, who weren’t aware of the plan Ethan was planning either, along since they also had tickets.

The thing was, you had a plan up your sleeve as well. You knew from the very beginning that your friends were going to be watching groups you and Ethan hadnt heard of before, so you knew you would have some time with Ethan without feeling pressured by your friends to make a move. Through out the day the two of you laughed at random jokes, you shared your drinks and food with each other, you even encouraged each other to do things you’d never have the guts to do if you were by yourself. As the day continued, the two of you held on to each other as the bands you were watching played the slow song of the set. You hugged Ethan longer, and harder after meeting With Confidence, and State Champs, quietly thanking him for sharing the experience with you. With a smile still on your face, you brought Ethan in for a hug, one harder than any of the ones the two of you had shared before.

“Thank you so much. You have no idea what today means to me. It wouldnt have been the same without you.” You confessed looking up at him.

The look in your eyes were ones Ethan had never seen before. There was something about them that were different, but looked familiar.

Its the look my parents have when they look at each other. You realized as Ethan looked down at you, swaying the two of you back and forth. As the song started to fade, you started to stand on your tip toes as Ethan started to lead down. Little did the two of you know that your friends were sneakily taking a photo of the moment, something they had been doing all day. Besides seeing their favorite bands, your friends knew of the plan through Grayson, and were capturing the moments neither of you were getting on camera. What a better way to end Warped Tour in the arms of someone you cared for deeply, and that care for you the same way.

[cristalconnors]

BEST ALBUMS OF 2019: TOP TEN

SPECIAL CITATIONS:

HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM, Beyoncé

The live album feels like a lost art form. Of late, many feel thrown together without much thought- an offering to the most ardent of fans about as meaningful as a gift card you’d give your coworker. Homecoming is the antithesis of that: a flawless documentation of Beyoncé’s benchmark live performance at the 2018 edition of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival that is a staggering recontextualisation of her entire life’s work, dazzlingly criss-crossing her discography, offering rollicking, thoughtful new arrangements of classics and deep-cuts alike, filtered through the lens of HBCU marching band, playing like a half time show that goes on and on and on, offering the final, definitive evidence that Beyoncé is the greatest showman in modern history by leaps and bounds. 

LEAK 04-13 (BAIT ONES), Jai Paul

Discovering Leak 04-13 (Bait Ones) sometime in the summer of 2013 was like being let in on a secret. I felt like the member of an exclusive club of people in-the-know, the possessor of a forbidden document that could only be discussed in hushed tones and accessed illegally. The circumstances of its arrival were uncertain. Had he leaked it purposefully? Were all of the songs really his? It didn’t even have a proper name (it would be christened Leak 04-13 (Bait Ones) many years later). The enthralling mystery of it was eclipsed only by the music itself. It sounded like you shouldn’t have been listening to it, a top secret transmission intercepted and compromised in the process. Its stunningly lush, busy textures were threadbare, pieces of the songs suddenly falling away only to reappear, as if you were streaming it and your internet connection was struggling to keep up. But that only contributed to the mystical grandeur of this earth shattering R&B that felt so purposeful, so impeccably sequenced (not by Jai), so bizarre and at times even funny, so much so that it was difficult to imagine how it could possibly be unfinished- it was perfect.

I don’t think I’d ever really understood how thoroughly devastating the leak was to Jai Paul himself until I read the lengthy note that accompanied his abrupt return on June 1st of this year, when he not only graced us with two stunning new tracks but properly released this album for the first time, a remarkable gesture of goodwill to his fans who gleefully partook in the stolen material, many without much regard to how it’d become available to them. Reading the letter, I felt guilty. The extent to which the leak derailed his career, demolished his trust in the institutions the industry is built on, compelled him to cast himself away from music entirely- his lifeline- and, in his own words, “withdraw from life in general” was genuinely heartbreaking. But the official release of the album that caused so much strife is the culmination of a years long journey of recovery, reconciliation, and growth. It’s a hard-earned reclamation of ownership that signals that Jai Paul, one of the most vital, distinct voices to emerge from the decade, is ready to get back on the horse. Look out.

THE TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2019:

10. CALIGULA, Lingua Ignota

Caligula is maybe the most stunning document of feminine rage I’ve ever heard- an improbable synthesis of metal and opera imbued with biblical imagery and defined by language that’s as flowery as it is vicious (“may your own shame hang you / may dishonor drown you / may there be no kindness / no kindness / no kindness”). Kristin Hayter’s classically trained voice bends almost to the point of snapping, sometimes bringing her tongue to her soft palate to make a sound somewhere between a hum and a gurgle before launching into blood curdling shrieks as the music around her morphs as well, twinkling piano and organ giving way to billowing, thunderous guitar. It’s music that belongs in a symphony hall, if only they’d allow moshing.

09. SINNER, Moodymann

The songs on Sinner, Kenny Dixon, Jr.’s twelfth album as Moodymann, unspool on their own terms, continually mutating as they go on, shifting gears just when you think you’ve got a handle on them. His house isn’t very dense, but there’s always a remarkable amount of intrigue in his deceptively simple sound, evoking early 70′s R&B until strange idiosyncrasies pop out organically from the fabric of the song, pulling focus, reframing it as you’re listening to it. It’s strange, compelling stuff that beckons you to dive beneath its surface, promising you’ll find something new each time.

08. NO HOME RECORD, Kim Gordon

My favorite Sonic Youth songs were always the ones Kim Gordon did lead vocals on. Her hulking monotone was strangely captivating, even when it wasn’t clear what she was even talking about (which was most of the time.) No Home Record is a sublime capitalization and expansion of her power as a vocalist and writer, embracing those same abstract sensibilities that have defined her work for nearly 40 years but pushing them boldly into the future, crafting entrancing, often menacing sonic dreamscapes that are littered with oblique, powerfully resonant hints at the fruits of her near decade of self-discovery after divorcing Thurston Moore. It’s a debut decades in the making that shockingly reveals new, untapped powers from an indelible titan of rock we thought we’d had pegged.

07. HOUSE OF SUGAR, (Sandy) Alex G

Alex Giannascoli’s folk rock warps itself, intentionally obscuring textures and images in a convoluted effort to clarify the feeling behind them. It shouldn’t work but always does, and on House of Sugar, his eighth full-length effort in just nine years, he finds thrilling new power in simplicity and repetition, exemplified by the woozy abstract tapestry of songs like “Walk Away,” “Taking,” or “Near,” wringing a simple phrase, or even just a word, for everything it’s worth, repeating them over and over and over again to craft crystal clear images of longing and pain. But the more traditional songs are just as gripping, striking his strange balance between downtown and backwoods, crafting folk that emanates from deep in the soul and soars out into outer space. 

06. BANDANA, Freddie Gibbs & Madlib

Freddie Gibbs and Madlib reunite on the most virtuosic rap album of the year, taking their unlikely marriage of gangster rap and delicately constructed, meditative beats that sound almost like memories to astonishing new heights. Gibbs grapples with personal demons- the lowest lows of his career, his ongoing relationship with drug abuse- but also flexes, showcasing his effortless flow as he flawlessly keeps pace with Madlib’s twisty production, navigating signature changes and tricky rhythms with ease, perfectly in concert with Madlib’s searching, soulful looping beats that envelop you, contorting right when you’ve settled into them. The collaboration keeps you on your toes, demanding your full attention as they whisk you through their kaleidoscopic vision of masterful, immersive rap.

05. ALL MIRRORS, Angel Olsen

The breakup album has never sounded so lush. Plenty can wax poetic about ridding themselves of toxic partners and of newfound freedom, but Angel Olsen tries to get to the heart of what it all meant, how she’d allowed herself to get lost in the relationship, forgetting herself. She makes the process sound luxurious, utilizing a 12-piece orchestra to inject a bolt of energy and welcome drama into her abstracted songwriting, embracing the darkness and working through it to find herself anew on the other side.

04. WHEN I GET HOME, Solange

When I Get Home sounds like you should be listening to it in a museum- and knowing Solange you’ll probably be able to at some point. Its heady sophistication is constantly announcing itself to you, but that’s not to say that it’s impenetrable. It’s her most personal effort, a surreal tour through the Houston of her memory and the Houston of her imagination, exploring the sounds she was reared on, but refracting them, embracing repetition to create a dreamlike, prismatic journey through her influences that, as Solange puts it, can’t be a singular expression of herself “there’s too many parts, too many spaces, too many manifestations, too many lines, too many curves, too many troubles, too many journeys, too many mountains, too many rivers, so many...”

03. NORMAN FUCKING ROCKWELL!, Lana Del Rey

Norman Fucking Rockwell! is Lana Del Rey’s victory lap, an amalgamation of everything she’s always done well packed into a sprawling 68 minute apocalyptic opus, invoking Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, and most memorably, Sublime while utilizing her trademark playful, disaffected word play to craft a soaring requiem for the world as we know it. “L.A.’s in flames” and who cares when there’s a good time to be had? It’s a stunning “fuck you” to an industry and populace that dismissed her viciously when she arrived on the scene, forging her masterpiece on her own terms.

02. U.F.O.F., Big Thief

U.F.O.F. evokes the sensation of reaching out and attempting to make a connection- a connection with another realm, with the dead, with alien life, with a distant lover. The music is open and searching, and to hear the band talk about the process of writing and recording it, this spirit of experimentation was present in the studio. They’d tinker with instruments none of them knew how to play, hoping whatever they could coax out of it might speak to the ethereal textures and opaque poetry of the music they were working on. The result is a ghostly folk masterclass that launches Big Thief into the stratosphere as they work seamlessly in tandem to craft music that touches God.

01. TITANIC RISING, Weyes Blood

Struggling to cope with a world on the precipice of collapse, Natalie Mering looks backward, invoking the baroque pop of the 1970′s to search for solace in the stars or the arms of another, like Karen Carpenter scrolling through Tinder or Co-Star. But trying to stave herself away in the past only finds herself submerged in her childhood bedroom. So she bolts forward, utilizing familiar frameworks to craft stunningly lush, contemporary and urgent pop that grapples with crises both personal and apocalyptic with an optimism that feels not naive but like a vital lifeline, like a hand reaching out in the darkness to pull you to safety. It may be a futile gesture, but at the end of a decade that’s abruptly descended into a hellscape, it’s a call to keep the faith and forge on.

[the-resurrection-3d]

So anyway I edited my fic masterlist to procrastinate. This is only the Eddsworld portion, divided up by ship. The very end has my multi-ship collections, so if you want ficlets of X ship, check those. Includes nsfw links. I’ll keep this post updated!

Gen 

melty future - it’s hard out here for a lost time traveler and a bunch of mutant freaks  | rated T | 1.5k | Tags - 3-sentence fic collection, found family 

tasteless - tom takes a demon to Denny’s | rated T |  2.3k | tags - fantasy / CB AU, underage drinking, brief eye horror, arson 

thank god I’m pretty (in bits and pieces) - when Matt is fourteen, his aunt tells him the world is going to end. | “finished”, 6k | Tags - misgendering, gender fantasy AU, minor character death 

we buffer, we suffer - edd and Tord try and write a reader-insert fanfic about their favorite OC, Clownius Thundercock | rated M | 1.2k | tags - cock slapping, tentacles, rescue, breast fucking, bukkake, characters writing fanfiction 

sunshine sparkle -  matt wonders what it would be like, living someplace other than a gremlins’ den | rated T | .6k | tags - background polyworld, matt gets irl cyberbullied 

went for the kiss and got the bite - tord and Matt spend the last hours of Christmas together, and maybe set a guy on fire in the process. | rated T | 1.2k |  tags - implied drug use, zombie AU

TomTord

bezoar -“Fine, whatever, but if he pukes on me I’m putting all your heads on pikes.” Instead of his giant robot, Tord gets the flu, and Tom tries to get even | rated T | 1.2k | Tags - sick fic, canon divergent, post The End, vomiting | FFN mirror | Wattpad mirror 

Dumb / I stole my dad’s fic and made it tomtord because I like giving him a stroke - fuck you, dad you suck  | rated M | .3k 

Only God Forgives - what a lovely, useful idiot | rated E | 1.2k | Tags – A/B/O, Cervix Penetration, Vaginal Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Angst

orange  | rated M | .5k | tags – gentle sex, fluff, cockwarming

 EddTord

and everything you say gives me a real bad feeling – five times Edd lost Tord and the one time he found him again. (tonight, I am pleased to announce a comedy in six parts) | wip, 7.5k | Tags – canon divergence, high school AU, zombeh AU, creatures and monsters AU, green leader AU, post-canon, alternate timelines, pining, one-sided relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending | FFN mirror 

crush - “i’m gonna get Matt to burn that,” Edd says...Tord runs his fingers gently over Garfield’s face, the white thought bubble asking, Why me?, before he simply says, “You wouldn’t. You think my pain is too funny.” | rated E | 1.7k | tags - omegaverse, cannibalism, vaginal sex, weird biology, metafic, mild gore 

peter pan syndrome- edd asks, what do you want to be when you grow up? it sounds better than so where the fuck have you been? and I dreamt an even uglier version of you made me eat lead. | rated T | 1.3k | tags - minimalism, drugs mention, sexual humor, morning after, reminiscing | FFN mirror, Wattpad mirror 

nobody - he didn’t buy that old cloning machine for nothing | rated E | 1.5k | tags - exhibitionism, referenced TomMatt, oral sex, fingering, over-stimulation 

show me your blood - "see, we have all worked very hard to put value down on paper, and I am not going to dishonor our efforts by never stealing from another man.I said yes to the world and I have never been told no since.” | rated T | 7.3k | tags - established relationship, time travel, green leader au, hurt no comfort 

The Pinnacle of Romance – “I just wanted to have a romantic evening” | rated M  | Tags – gun kink/play, power play, roughhousing, reunions, porn with feelings | FFN mirror  

werewolf heart - this is the part Green Leader finds easy | rated G | .6k | tags - implied brainwashing, noncon kissing 

MattTord 

interlude to a guiltless exile - matt looks into those haunting eyes – silver pools without white, only large cuts of black. Shark’s eyes. Looking for too long makes Matt feel like when he’s dreaming and the tide’s pulling the earth out from under his feet. “How long can you survive out of water?” | rated T | 1.5k | tags - mermaid AU, fluff and hurt/comfort

TomMatt

mortals sipping nectar at five cents a glass - tom needs help relaxing, and Matt is happy to indulge him... | rated M | 1.1k | tags - experimental style, implied alcoholism, massages, fluff, angst with a happy ending, non-graphic smut, background polyworld | Wattpad mirror 

EddTomTord

survivors - “the premise is that this doctor gets stranded on an island and eventually has to start cutting off his own legs and stuff for food” | rated T  | .5k | Tags – sexual humor, zombeh AU, references to drugs, references to cannibalism, pov second person

EddMattTomTord

always said I'd be famous (guess that I lied) - sssh, it's okay baby, he soothes, petting Tom's hair; I have a dick big enough for all of us. Matt snorts, hides his grin behind his hand. Tord inspects his nails. Before Tom can chip in (holding onto him tight enough so he can't move his arm back for a good gut punch), Edd snaps at Matt, Just read the damn story. | rated T | 1.1k | tags - pillow and blanket forts, reading aloud, mild sexual content, fluff without plot

birthday cake - "you ungrateful —" Matt goes in for the side of Edd's stomach, the kill zone. "It's my birthday and I'm not only giving you head but a piece of modern. art.—" a few quick cuts of his hand to frame his face "—to commemorate the occasion." | rated M | .9k | tags - oral sex, foursome - m/m/m/m, shyness, hand jobs 

[insert neutral milk hotel quote] - matt gets fucked ; a direct sequel to ‘stupid fucking bullshit’ | rated E | 2.8k | tags - gangbang, oral sex, metafiction, monster tom, bottom matt, dirty talk, subdrop, over-stimulation, trans male character 

Paultryck

but I am home - maybe in this story the wolf doesn’t have to die | rated M | wip, 2k | Tags - subdrop, aftercare, nightmares, hurt/comfort, implied pet play, self harm mention, rape mention, red riding hood AU, bookstore AU

damnatio memoriae - shakespeare was wrong; most of us are not players. |  rated T | 1.2k | tags - one-sided attraction, army life, public execution, first person pov 

daze - "and then they fucked." - William Shakespeare | rated E | .3k | tags - vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, porn without plot, triple drabble 

our love gorges - while Red Leader and his unlucky human friend negotiate over dinner, Paul and Patryck are left to their own devices | Paultryck, background PaulTordtryck | finished, 10.4k | Tags – fantasy AU, bdsm, scratching, comfort sex, dom/sub, aftercare, mild blood, burnplay, blow jobs, outdoor sex, unhealthy coping mechanisms, suicidal thoughts, body horror, control issues, praise kink, consensual but not safe or sane, dead dove: do not eat

soft boy hours - let’s be young for a while | rated M | 1.6k | Tags - massage, frottage, fluff and smut, foreplay, post-canon | FFN mirror 

 PaulTord

the ren and stimpy show - on today’s episode: Tord has very strange fantasies | rated T | 1k | Tags - domestic fluff, post-canon, sexual humor, minimalism | FFN mirror 

lain with holy wars - do you want kids? | rated T | .6k | tags - post-canon, implied child abuse / domestic violence, fluff, light angst 

Paul/Everyone

some fuckin stupid bullshit just read the tags and get off my balls - I reach into hat labeled “story ideas.” It says, “Everyone gangbangs Paul.” Again? Hat falls and spills. They all say, “Everyone gangbangs Paul.” | PaulEdd, Paultryck, PaulTord, TordPauPat, PaulTom, PaulMatt, MattTom | rated E | 2.5k | Tags - gangbang, ruined orgasm, anal sex, blow jobs, handjobs, creampie, bondage, dom/sub undertones

Tordtryck

A.T. Field - “show me where you wanna be touched.” It’s disgusting | Tordtryck, background Paultryck | rated E | 1.3k | Tags - vaginal fingering, angst, implied character death, implied traitor AU, unhealthy relationships, consensual but not safe or sane 

TordPauPat

a real crowd pleaser - there are a lot of advantages to fucking your boss. | rated E | 1.3k | Tags - threesome- M/M/M, blow jobs, dom/sub, bondage, orgasm denial 

presented without context - who’s going to tell their fuckbuddy they probably caused their parents’ divorce as they’re getting blown? Never mind, Tord would. | rated E | 1.5k | Tags - threesome, praise kink, spitroasting, dom/sub

violence – you’ve made this place unbecoming. Do I have to stay? | rated G | .6k | Tags – sharing a bed, cuddling and snuggling, hurt/comfort, minimalism fluff | FFN mirror 

Multi-Ship

clowns, all of you clowns - You fall asleep with his arm clutched to your chest. Various eddsworld ficlets/scraps from the last year | EddTord, TomTord, EddTom, Paultryck, TordPaultryck, Tordtryck | wip, 9.3k | Tags - high school AU, zombies AU, fantasy AU, hurt/comfort, humor, fluff. First chapter is the table of contents. | FFN mirror for chapter 18 [TomTord], FFN mirror for chapter 24 [EddTord], FFN mirror of chapter 20 [Gen, Rejects] 

warped tour - dreamwidth doesn’t have any Eddsworld presence so I’ve declared the 3-Sentence Fic-A-Thon free real estate. First prompt: Tordtryck, there was a hidden message in their miserable Christmas presents | Tordtryck, MattTom, Edd & Matt & Tom & Tord, Tomatoredd & Scribble Tom | finished, 1k | Tags - 3 Sentence Fiction, college AU, bookstore AU, sexual humor, angst and humor, post-apocalypse, zombies | FFN mirror of Rejects parts