#THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED THO

[lovetimdrake]

Jason: I used to be innocent just like you and I envy that...

Tim: I killed hundreds of people through explosions

Jason: What

[azucar-skull]

Tea from work:

Homeless man, let’s call him John, came in to pay the fee to use our community showers.

Rich man, let’s call him Evil John, dropped off his kid at sports camp.

John went to use the showers and passed by Evil John and I guess Evil John was concerned because he came up to me and asked if I knew who that man was.

He said, and I quote, "I don't like the looks of that guy. I don't trust him, especially around my kid."

Evil John proceeds to bother me and my coworkers for a few minutes before I faked my best smile and reassured him that I would "keep an eye on that man". I did not.

30 minutes later, I get a call from the fucking police. Evil John reported John to the police and I had to tell the officer that suspicion is not a crime and that I was already aware of the situation.

CRAZY PLOT TWIST!!!!!!!

John left after an hour of basking in hot water. He looked grateful and happy and thanked me graciously as he left.

Don't be an Evil John.

[theinkbunny]

I open the cupboard door

there’s a chicken

why is there a chicken

[onlyhereforghosttrick]

Sometimes having OCs is great because you have little guys with big trauma

Sometimes it's not like when you gaslight yourself into remembering the wrong species for your pmd OC

[nomx33]

I CLOSED MY EYES AND MY FUCKING THOUGHTS WERE FOMRATED IN TUMBLR POSTS HELP ME WHAT THE FUCK ????

[hinamie]

unconditionally

[bad-artist-non-historian]

you know your family considers you an adult when you get a dream from your dead (sicilian) grandfather warning you to not go into the basement (by chasing you out as a green snake)

[sisaloofafump]

I think about this quote everyday. You're right Arthur, they ARE best friends and it IS kind of adorable

[brennan-lee-mother]

Newer Dimension 20 fans might look at Liv attempting to hack Usha’s brain by crushing it just the perfect amount and think “this is completely unhinged and obviously totally unprecedented”, but it is actually no less than the fifth time a PC has done impromptu untrained surgery on another character, the third time on another PC, in D20 history.

So, safe to say it’s practically par for the course at this point.

[disappointedpenisnoises]

I just had an eyelash fall into each eye

2/10 would not recommend

[shootingstareon]

banging on the wall of my asylum room can anyone hear me.

[arinmoss]

Anya Mouthwashing

[majunju]

egg

[choccy-milky]

congrats on baby #2!🥰👍 part 2 to this post bc seb is a smug ass bitch when it comes to getting clora pregnant. and ty @rednite-dork for sending me the original pic ages ago LMFAO... i knew as soon as i saw it that i had to redraw it eventually 👼

[isjasz]

[Day 155] Sunflowers always face the sun

-

So like. If sunflowers always face the sun and the majority of the sunflowers on scar's shawl are on his back and on the side does that mean scar still trusts grian with his back or he turned his back on him rejected him moved on or sometimes they wish they are by each other's sides again or are they allies or enemies this will be the death of m <- epic shower thoughts

[barghest-land]

poor boy now counts wolves instead of sheep (sketch is under the cut!)

i think the first sketch of this deserves to be here as well it's so cute to me :D