#THIS ABSOLUTE MALARKEY

[bitterkarmaa]

I return to- uh-

Wait what the fuck

[antonias-beloved]

My opinion on all the skins from the new marvel season

Gwenpool: I think she looks awesome! I love her suitless casual style! Confession: I only know who she is because of Lego Marvel superheroes 2.

War Machine: to completely honest, I do not care about war machine. He's a cool character, don't get me wrong, but to me he just... Exists. But the fortnite skin is amazing, especially the alternate style.

Peelverine: do I really need to explain why I like peelverine? He looks absolutely incredible, and the X-Force style looks just as good!

Emma Frost: mommy? Sorry, mommy? Sorry, mommy? Sorry-

Yeah I'm in love already. New f/o alert. She's definitely not replacing Antonia, but I'm definitely gonna use her in game a lot.

Captain Jones: I feel like he's either gonna be absolutely iconic, or he's gonna be forgotten by the next season. I think he looks very cool, and I already feel like my brother is gonna really like him.

Mysterio: I've been calling him Jake Gyllenhaal. His secondary style is even a reference to all too well (ten minute version)!* Jokes aside, epic did a really good job making it look comic accurate, and the secondary style looks really cool

*because all too well (ten minute version) was released in the red era

Shuri: I'm gonna go on a rant here.

Shuri looks awesome, she's one of my favourite marvel characters and I'm so happy that she's in fortnite, but she should not have been the tier 100. The season is called absolute DOOM. Doom should've been the tier 100, not shuri. But putting that aside, I think she looks incredible, and I'm definitely gonna use the skin.

Last but not least, Doom.

He looks awesome, I'm not gonna lie. But he shouldn't have been the secret skin. Making people wait for the namesake of the season is a bad move on epic's part. Here's what I think they should've done.

They should've made peelverine the tier 1, then have doom as the tier 100 and gwenpool as the secret skin. But that's just my opinion.

[madlad-link]

Asami was losing her mind in the background also

[pastlivesandpurplepuppets]

As we regrouped for the push to Noville, word spread about Dike freezing up in the heat of battle. It didn’t surprise me. From the get-go, I’d been unimpressed with the midlevel officers and their inability to lead when they needed to. It was the only weakness in the 506th, this revolving door of guys who had no business being in charge. Sobel. Evans. Peacock. Dike. Compton’s lieutenant who turned to mush in Holland. A couple of rookies at Hell’s Corner who Winters had to take out because they had no idea where our machine-gun positions were in relation to our defensive posture. Was it because the ROTC programs back in the States didn’t do a better job of weeding them out? Because too many guys just didn’t have their hearts in it, just wanted an extra fifty bucks a month? Or because of politics, some higher-up’s “golden boy”—Dike comes to mind—getting foisted on soldiers who deserved better? Hard to say. All I know is that, at times, Easy Company succeeded not because of the leadership but in spite of it. Oh, we had a few good ones: Harry Welsh, Bob Brewer, even Ron Speirs, despite his “killer” reputation. First Lt. Thomas Meehan, who’d taken over for Sobel, was a good man, but his plane had gone down in Normandy. Dick Winters, who replaced him, was a glowing exception, too; he had that uncommon blend of smarts and concern for the guys. Cool as a cucumber when the pressure was on. Fair to all. And comfortable enough being Dick Winters that you never got the idea he had to stomp on the rest of us to boost his own battle-scarred ego. And he was absolutely willing to go through whatever we went through; hell, I always thought he was happiest when he was with us in the foxholes. I don’t think he did ever completely adjust to being in the rear, out of the action. He wanted to be out there with us. And, in a sense, he was.

~ Don Malarkey

[pandor-pandorkful]

Not exactly gender equality and I know it chafes some folk, but I'll never get enough of rough and buff fantasy barbarian action gals and their dainty and delicate man-princess pals (who are plagued by visions and prone to swooning and accidental bdsm encounters with the local nonbinary wizards and genderfluid mad scientists. :3c)

[alighted-willow]

I aspire to approach new words with the same zest and enthusiasm.

[oliverkingoftrash]

So you’re telling me she took a Louisville slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all tires, and carved her names into his leather seats,, and his car alarms DIDNT GO OFF????!??!

[wanderingrustus]

I don't post much about my life all that often, but I feel the need to talk about personal life things for a moment. Don't worry too much, not trying to be doomy gloomy. Just gotta get things off my chest for a moment.

I was recently given instructions to participate in One Night Ultimate Mulbruk Simulator (which is my joke term for a sleep study) and got full confirmation that I have one of the most clear-cut cases of sleep apnea the tech had ever seen.

And now I have to do it again, this time with a CPAP machine.

Look, if it means an actual restful sleep I'll take it. I can't remember the last time I actually slept a full night's worth. It's drastically taken its toll on my mental well being and my energy.

I miss live streaming, even if I don't know what to stream anymore. I know I never had a big crowd or following but I was having fun. Even if it could also be anxiety inducing sometimes, I realize now that if I'm having fun, that's all that really matters. Technical issues be damned lol.

My only current event relevant remark: Palworld is Survival/Crafting with Creature Capturing, not Creature collection with survival aspects. Though you can focus on either one really. It's still fun no matter how you look at it. If anything, I hope it shakes Gamefreak AND Wild Card awake to be better devs. Is that not the goal of competing in the same space? Won't hold my breath about it though. Either way, thanks, Game Pass for letting me try it.

On the note of games, I can finally add Final Fantasy 2 to the list of Completed Games. Time has been overly harsh on this game, and most injustly so. It dared to be different, kinda like me. While that difference is not for everyone, I found it interesting. And considering thanks to the Dissidia games I was picturing Johnny Yong Bosch every time Firion speaks, it was glorious. There were some story hangups, but otherwise had fun with it. Now to save up for some art of Leila, Ricard, and Gordon...

Other than this, I am just floating on, enduring winter and the drop in mood it brings, and contuing to game, in hopes to find something to fully rekindle that flame within.

If you made it this far, you're a real one, and thank you.

May fortune smile upon the road ahead of you.

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

How come when I take a nap during the day, I can fall asleep pretty much anywhere in the most twisted pile of limbs and body parts imaginable, but the second it's dark outside and it's bedtime my pillows must be in this specific spot and I must be laying at this exact angle with my stuffed animal facing the right way in my arms and my fan on and it has to be completed dark and even then it takes me two hours to actually fall asleep?

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Tiny Shelby Feet - A John Shelby/Reader Short Story.

Just a fluffy lil' short that came to me this morning, besties. Hope you love it :)

Words - 700

Warnings - None. Fluff a' plenty!

“You alright, sweetheart?” 

No, you absolutely are not alright. And it’s all his fault.  

Being angry at him isn’t an option, though, because he’s always so good to you. Hell, it was him being very good to you that got you into this in the first place, your stomach swollen and rounded with the next Shelby offspring due to arrive into the family in the next couple of days.  

You toss and turn a little more, albeit slowly, heaving your bulk to lie on your back. “I can’t get comfortable.”  

“Bet ya can’t, bab. Can’t even imagine what it’s like,” he speaks softly, removing one of the pillows from beneath his head. “Lift up.” Pushing yourself up, he slides it beneath your lower back, the downy plumpness soothing against your aching back. “What is it like, though? Is there anything it’s similar to that I’d understand?” 

It’s sweet of him to even want to try and comprehend the feeling of being pregnant, at least. “Imagine if somebody gave you a gallon of Epsom salts and sewed your arsehole up.”  

His eyes bulge. “Jesus fuckin’ wept. That don’t sound like fun.” Those eyes continue to widen when he sees you beginning to wince through gritted teeth. “Ain’t coming, is he?”  

“No, no it’s a cramp in my thigh.” 

“Left or right?” 

“Left.” Your instruction has him reaching beneath the bedcovers, beginning to massage said thigh, the tightened muscles finally relenting within the grasp of his warm, skillful hands. Bloody John Shelby and his skillful hands. Again, it’s how you ended up like this in the first place. “Okay, that’s better now. Thanks, love.” 

He props himself up on an elbow, hand lovingly stroking your bump, smiling as he feels his unborn child wriggling beneath his palm. You still remember the day you felt those first kicks, running down to the betting shop and grabbing his hand so he could feel them, too. You’ll never forget how lit up he looked at the sensation of tiny feet nudging against his big hand. “Who do you think he’ll look like most, you or me?” 

You can’t help yourself. “Me, hopefully.” 

“Oi, you cheeky mare!” Desired effect achieved. “I suppose it’d be better. I know I’m handsome, but we don’t want two freckled ginger nuts in the house.” 

“I really hope she has your hair, and your freckles,” you speak, putting extra emphasis on the word she. ”You know I love your freckles." 

“Fuck off,” he mutters, batting your hand away from where your finger trails over his shoulder. 

“Oi, no violence! I’m carrying your daughter!” 

“Son!” he corrects with a pointed finger. “You’re carrying me son. No girls, they’re too much headache for my liking.”  

“Poor thing’ll likely never see the outside of the house until she’s eighteen,” you chuckle, stroking your bump lovingly. 

He snorts, curling his lip slightly. “And the fucking rest! Ain’t having no boys round her, oh no, none of that malarkey.” He then lifts his chin a little, nodding to your rounded belly. “That is if it’s even a girl in the first place, and I’m still saying it’s a boy.”  

You smile, your eyes growing tired, yawning right on cue. Finally comfortable, you’re able to settle, drifting off to the rhythmic stroke of John’s hand over your belly. He thinks you’ve nodded off, unaware that you can hear every word he whispers to your unborn child.  

“Don’t even matter to me, you know, what you are,” he speaks softly, leaning to lay a kiss just above your protruded belly button. “I’ll love you until the last beat of my heart. I will. Anything you want, it’s yours. You ain’t gonna grow up poor and scratching around to make ends meet like we all had to. I’m gonna be a proper dad to you, little’un.” 

You can feel a lump in your throat form thickly, smiling on the inside as you drift into slumber. It’s nothing compared to two days later, though, when you see John holding your newborn son in his arms for the first time, his eyes filled with happy tears. Or, when five minutes later, you birth the twin sister nobody knew you carried, too.  

[glendylucast]

Breaking Point, but it's manga cover

Donald Malarkey and Warren "Skip" Muck

Carwood Lipton (Happy belated birthday sir!)

I don't think the cover should give an obvious spoiler so Lipton will absolutely be first pick...

And Malarkey cover is actually continuity from this (missing 2 pages, maybe I'll do it, maybe I wont)

Pain below the cut

Happy forever 22nd birthday, Skip

[antonias-beloved]

I've had epic: the musical in my head all day

[luminouslywriting]

Falling asleep on the Bob guys

Nonny, this is such a darling request! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to it :) I hope you really enjoy and are having a great day! Reminder that my requests are open and I love the spam!

Cut for length, paragraph format below:

Dick Winters:

Dick Winters is the type of man to be caught off guard in the softest of ways. He's not expecting you to fall asleep on him and he's still trying to talk over plans when he realizes that you're totally and completely out. It's at this point that he gets this really soft expression on his face and just decides to treasure the moment since you never know what will happen. He stays awake and keeps a wary eye out for any sort of danger that might befall the two of you. And he might murmur a few sweet nothings to you while you're asleep since there's no harm and foul for that.

Lewis Nixon:

Honestly, he's rambling and rambling and is waiting for you to reply to anything that he's said and mid-ramble, he looks down to find you asleep. Kinda makes this amused expression on his face and then presses a short and sweet kiss to your forehead. He's perfectly content as a kitten, curling up and falling asleep next to you. Especially if you're the one who fell asleep first—he's not about to move you or wake you up haha.

Ronald Speirs:

Realizes you're falling asleep very quickly and just goes kinda quiet. He doesn't have the heart to move you or wake you up so he can move, so he just sits there with your head on his shoulder and finally has a minute to just be calm and relax in peace. It's honestly a cathartic experience for him and he gets to reflect on your relationship, which endears the situation even more to him.

Buck Compton:

Gets this really goofy smile on his face at the fact that you're asleep on his shoulder. He absolutely adores seeing you this peaceful and will press a kiss to the crown of your head and snuggle in real close to you. He's the type to probably fall asleep with you, even more cuddled up and practically spooning at that point.

Carwood Lipton:

A softie who softly tells you a story until you are solidly asleep on his shoulder. And then he's slightly blushy and shy about the entire thing, but he's not about to move—he's no idiot. So he just wraps an arm around you and murmurs a soft goodnight. He'll treasure this memory for the rest of his life and wants to wake up next to you every single day henceforth.

Joe Liebgott:

Literally the sassiest mf—the minute that you fall asleep, he's out here glaring at anyone who walks by a little bit too loudly or is talking too much. He'll shush and tell someone to get the hell away from the situation bc no one is about to interrupt your beauty sleep. Not on his watch. He's also slightly smug and definitely thinking about sex in the future and how your married life would be.

Donald Malarkey:

10/10 a great person to fall asleep on. He's a solid choice, if only for the fact that he's ultra respectful and kind about things. He'll sit there patiently and untangle your hair while you're asleep and just relax. It's honestly just as calming getting to be around you while you're asleep and it becomes a tradition between the two of you.

Eugene Roe:

You cannot convince me that he isn't the best choice here. He gets super soft and almost emotional about the fact that you trust him enough to fall asleep near him and on him. He'll murmur lullabies in a half-whisper in French and stroke your hair and rub your back soothingly until you're totally asleep. He absolutely loves you and that'll be the last thing you hear before you're totally out for the count.

Bill Guarnere:

Doesn't realize you've fallen asleep until he turns to hear your reply or comments from a story he's been telling and then realizes that you're totally out. He gets this kinda goofy grin and just snuggles up real close to you. He's very honored that you feel safe enough to fall asleep in his presence—and he's not about to lose that trust for literally anything. You mean the world to him.

Joe Toye:

Slightly panicked?! Which doesn't really make sense, but you're literally asleep and he's just not about to let anyone interrupt that. He'll glare and make menacing motions to anyone who's too loud and he just wants to cuddle up next to you without anyone giving him shit. Not that anyone would—but you know, he's got some worries. Either way, he's real gentle about the entire thing.

George Luz:

Probably happens in a foxhole amidst some jokes and laughs to keep spirits up. And when you don't respond, he gets a little worried and then glances over to find out that you're just asleep on his shoulder. Gets this shit-eating grin on his face and he's definitely gonna tease you about it later (but not in front of anyone else). He's secretly very pleased that you fell asleep on him since he's got a big crush on you anyway haha.

[pastlivesandpurplepuppets]

Here's to the ones that we got

Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not

'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories

Of everything we've been through

Toast to the ones here today

Toast to the ones that we lost on the way

'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories

And the memories bring back, memories bring back you

There's a time that I remember when I did not know no pain

When I believed in forever and everything would stay the same

Now my heart feels like December when somebody says your name

'Cause I can't reach out to call you, but I know I will one day, yeah

Everybody hurts sometimes

Everybody hurts someday, ayy-ayy

But everything gon' be alright

Go and raise a glass and say, ayy

There's a time that I remember when I never felt so lost

When I felt all of the hatred was too powerful to stop (Ooh, yeah)

Now my heart feel like an ember and it's lighting up the dark

I'll carry these torches for ya that you know I'll never drop, yeah

"He was closer than a brother to me."

[malarkgirlypop]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STOP IT RIGHT NOW AHHHHHHH

he’s so silly

@malarkgirlypop

[bellewintersroe]

Another idea I would love to see you write (and it doesn't have to be NSFW if it makes you uncomfortable) is Malarkey, Babe, Chuck, Shifty, Winters (and anyone else you want to write) reactions to seeing all the various scars you received during the war for the first time. The scars can be wherever on the body you want to put them and the injuries that caused them can be different for each guy if you want; I will leave that to your creativity and discretion. I would just find it interesting to see how you think they'd react bc, while injuries during the war became probably a daily occurrence for the men that they've grown accustomed to, you're technically not a man and how could you have gotten hurt?

ugh I absolutely love this request it’s so creative, thank you sm!! I hope it’s what you were picturing, if not feel free to request another :) i’m comfortable writing NSFW but for this request I haven’t gone too crazy, but there is some mentions of potential smut? I can also understand how the topic of scars should be a TW- but no mentions of any self inflicted scars. Easy Boys reaction to seeing your scars:

Dick Winters:

I think he’d probably notice the small, circular scar on the back of your lower hip during seggsy time.

he wouldn’t point it out, seeing as that seemed rude and a bit off putting mid activity- especially seeing as it was one of the first times the two of you sleep together.

it’s afterwards that you’re cuddling when his hand travels down, “how did you get this?”

“oh, that scar?” You’d begin to laugh, leaving him a little confused. “Accidental cigarette burn from a guy I was treating in Normandy.”

Dick is a little confused, you seem so amused so he’s following along with a smile but it’s the most confusing thing ever.

what actually happened is pretty lighthearted, you were treating a wounded guy in the infirmary in Normandy, and well, his eyes were bandaged up and accidentally mistook you for the ash tray?

a pretty funny story, it burnt at the time, but you don’t mind the small scar, in fact it’s even amusing to you. Dick doesn’t notice it often, but when he remembers the story you told him he’d smile every single time he’d see it again.

Babe Heffron:

In Austria you’re wearing your summer uniform/ clothes, things are more relaxed, and so when your top falls down your collarbone the slightest bit, you don’t think anything of it.

“Wha- hey! How’d you get that?!” That was until a certain Babe Heffron chimed up, sounding overwhelmingly concerned, eyes focused on your upper chest.

“What?” At first you’d cover it up, unconsciously before even realising what he’d seen.

he’d hurry over, taking a peak to sigh with relief when he realised it was an older scar.

“Babe.” You’d grumble, pulling your top further up out of embarrassment.

“Oh, hey- no, don’t be upset, I was just worried thas all. It’s not everyday I see a lady with a scar, y’know.” His hand would smooth down your arm, worried he’d offended you, but he’s so sweet, how could you ever be upset at Babe?

“It’s from Bastogne, right?” Unlike the other men (apart from Gene) Babe would probably recognise where it was from.

“The bombing at the church, yeah.”

“I like it, looks cool.” He’d be so honest and genuine, at first I think you’d be a little shy, but Babe finds it so unique, and well- it makes you you.

the major downfall however is that you obviously got hurt, resulting in this scar. He can’t bare the idea of you hurt, it sends a chill through to his bone.

Chuck Grant:

Chuck is no stranger to scars especially after the war, so when he notices you’ve got a couple littered around your leg he doesn’t point them out due to knowing how sensitive that topic can be.

theyre white and faded now, only small, but I feel like Chuck would probably recognise they’re from Bastogne- like he’s seen the wounds the splintered trees cause, he figured it would be something like that.

in reality they were a present from Haguenau. An exploded building left your leg semi trapped, luckily not broke, but it hurt like a bitch and left you with the constant reminder of the pain.

You’d tell him one day after a shower, when you caught him looking at them. “I know they’re ugly.” You’d wince, conscious.

“Ugly? No, c’mere, babe.” He’d pull you into his lap, hand on your thigh as he kisses you so tenderly.

“Nothin’ about you could ever be ugly, doll.” Ugh he’d be sooo sweet and kind, reassuring you in the best way possible whilst accidentally seducing you.

Shifty Powers:

Too cute omg, he wouldn’t even really notice too much, I mean everybody has scars. You’d lay and night and he’d caress your skin, not caring if there was a scar or two littered around your shoulder.

“How’d ya’ get this?” He’d ask softly when the two of you were both falling asleep.

“Nothin’ exciting, I was playing around in the water when we were in Austria and caught my shoulder on the pier gettin’ out the water. I wish it was a better story.”

Shifty would find it so amusing because only you would wish you had a better story to tell about a scar. The rest on your body are from your childhood, Shifty would love hearing the stories that come along with each scar.

Eugene Roe:

Unlike some of the men I think Gene would’ve actually been there when you got injured.

you’re a woman, part of the medic team, a field nurse really which is attached to easy company, so you’re close to the men, especially Gene, throughout the war.

Gene would still remember vividly the day you got hit, how he failed to protect you, cover you. A sniper came out of nowhere, catching you in the shoulder. Gene can only imagine the bullet was meant for him and not you.

He’s the one that patched you up to the best of his abilities, it’s one thing treating a man, but to be treating a girl? Especially one he liked- well his hands were shaking and he was reassuring you non stop.

the scar left was only small, luckily there was no complications and you got lucky and could get back to work real quick.

Every time Eugene notices the scar it reminds him of what happened to you. At first he wouldn’t talk about it. Then, slowly you get it out of him and he’s so soft with you.

“I just don’t know what I woulda’ done.” He’d sigh, burrowing his face in your neck/ chest pressing kisses to your skin.

“Well you don’t have to think that, cos I’m still here with you now, Gene.”

Don Malarkey:

Don would actually notice the fresh scar on leg during Haguenau when you were rolling your socks up, he gets a peak at the flesh on your calf.

“Woah, that looks nasty, how’d you get that?” He comes and sits behind you, waiting for you to turn around.

“Fuckin’ tripped and fell, Malark. Out of everything that coulda happened to me I got this from falling over.”

Malark is more concerned about your wellbeing but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t break a smile.

“That’s just your luck.” He’d smile, rubbing your leg gently to check if it hurt. “You’re ok now though? So you don’t need carrying around everywhere?”

“I wouldn’t object to that…”

No but seriously, Don is a massive sweetheart, he probably would carry you around Austria just for the fun of it, he still blames it on your ‘cut leg’ that he needs to do that.

in reality he’s just flirting with you and knows it’s super easy for you to kiss him whilst he’s holding you like that.

Lewis Nixon:

“What’d you do?” He’d ask as soon as he saw it, running his hand back against your hair, revealing a kinda small scar placed near your hairline.

it’s early in the morning, the two of you are lounging in bed with a cup of tea or coffee, preparing to have a lazy day.

“Oh, it’s from running Currahee, I face-palmed the floor.”

“Ouch, what did Sobel say?”

“thank god he wasn’t there to see it. I got a matching one on my knee too, from the same fall.” You’d pull out your bare leg from the covers and he’d purposefully slide his hand up your thigh, then over the scar on your knee.

“Nice. Battle scars.” He smirked, teasing and pulling your leg over his to give him a cuddle.