#THEY'RE BOTH WEIRD LITTLE AUTISTIC GIRLS TO ME

[rebisrot]

i think ford would make mabel a highly anatomically accurate monster coloring book

[sporesgalaxy]

The way Dungeon Meshi does gender makes me insane. It’s stated over and over that Falin and Laios really are more similar than anyone is looking for- Laios directly states as much at one point, Marcille mentions it when Falin wakes up the first time and starts bemoaning not eating any monsters, the magic mirror story even has fem!Toshiro crushing on Laios- but Laios is so protective of his little sister. Laios leaves home to start making a life he can one day share with her. And she leaves magic school because he has failed, and failed so hard that she’s worried that she might never see him again if she lets him leave without her. He wants to protect her from the way the world treats him, but he does not or does not want to understand the terrible truth- the world will never treat her as harshly as it does him, because she is a pretty ‘quirky’ girl and he is a big autistic man. Falin is happy, doing well in her own sphere, making a single friend (because she is still autistic, and has struggles of her own, even if they’re a different kind), but Laios still feels a need to protect her because his experience of this world has been nothing but cold shoulders and distrust all the way down. This story makes me want to sprint into the river. Laios and Falin are the best characters of all time.

Ouhhhhh I dont have time to reread dungeon meshi to give you good sources but based on my doodoo memory and vibes therein: I have to disagree that Falin was necessarily doing "well," and I especially disagree that the tragedy here is that Laios was doing something unnecessary by trying to make a place in the world for him and Falin.

Falin gets along seemingly ok in the world but it's because she's agreeable to a fault .

What's so interesting to me about the Touden siblings is the different ways they've learned to deal with being The Odd Man Out. Laios set out to try and forcefully carve out a PLACE for him and Falin in the world, where they could both openly and unabashedly be themselves.....Falin stayed behind, and learned how to hide the things that made her stick out too much, and how to appease people on the verge of rejecting her and Laios.

That can be functional, but it isn't good. It isn't happiness. It hurts in a million tiny ways every single day, to hide yourself out of fear of rejection like that.

At school, Falin must have spent a lot of time alone before she befriended Marcille, since Falin was familiar enough with the surrounding wilderness that she knew where that small Dungeon opening was. She sought out what happiness she could by following her unusual passions in more private ways, where no one would judge her for it. Falin didn't expect anyone NOT to judge her for her "weirdness" before she met Marcille, so Falin didn't even try to connect with anyone before Marcille at a level more personal than "classmate." That's not doing well. That's not living.

This kind of self-isolation is a coping mechanism for neurodivergence that functions for a while, but it eats away at you. Falin considered marrying Toshiro despite not loving him, essentially because it seemed like the normal thing to do and she didn't think she'd get another chance to be married at all. What if she had gone through with that, or something similar by the same reasoning? Laios lived in a state of being rejected over and over, which obviously hurts like hell. In contrast, Falin was willing to live a life she never wanted just to avoid total rejection. That can be incredibly painful too, in its own way.

Falin and Laios were BOTH tragically fighting doomed battles to find a place for themselves in the world during the time they were separated. Working together, supporting each other, they're able to do a lot more. Cries.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I changed my name because people are overusing the nickname privilege?

2 years ago, I (29, transmasculine) changed my name. For the sake of this ask, since I don't want to use my real name, a decent equivalent is James, so I'll be using that instead.

I originally told my mom and my roommate/close friend (Alex, 29, agender) I was okay with the nickname Jamie, but I'd prefer to mostly be called James, especially when it comes to people I don't know well.

I tried to set this boundary because the nickname feels a little feminine, even if it's technically gender neutral. I don't pass very often, so it makes me uncomfortable to think people who don't know me might misunderstand, and think I am simply a woman with a gender neutral nickname. So I envisioned Jamie being reserved for the people closest to me because of that.

Both my mom and Alex opted to call me Jamie immediately. They introduced me to friends, family members, and even strangers as Jamie, put my name in their phone as Jamie. My mom sends me packages addressed to "Jamie [lastname]". Just the other day, Alex's grandma sent us chocolates in the mail and the note inside said "Merry Christmas Alex and Jamie!" and I am not close to her by any means, I am positive Alex must have told her that's my name. Just tons and tons of little things like that.

It took me a while to catch on - at first I thought people simply decided to call me Jamie on their own, or heard Alex or my mom talk to me and figured it was okay. I'm autistic, so it takes a while to figure out the best way to approach a problem involving social skills. I didn't want to immediately jump in and say "hey, don't call me that, you don't know me well enough," because I think that's a bit callous. And I thought I was dealing with just a few acquaintances - not literally everyone Alex or my mom talks to.

I confronted both of them about a year ago, when I finally put it together. They said they're not intentionally disregarding my feelings, but "Jamie suits you so much more" so they forget and it just slips out.

(I could be wrong, but I think this is probably because Jamie can be a girl's name and I still look like a girl. So, yeah, of course they'd feel that way.)

I begged them to stop and call me James if they're talking to people about me. My mom promptly "forgot" again. Alex has gotten better about it, but still slips up. Even if they were perfect, I feel like the damage is done after 2 years of this.

To further complicate things, Alex actively avoids using pronouns to refer to people in speech. They will say things like "I've been told that the flight was canceled" instead of "he said he canceled the flight". This is due to anxiety because they're not great at remembering pronouns & doesn't want to accidentally misgender anyone. So there is a lot of general confusion about my pronouns amongst the groups that are connected to Alex. (I don't really use social media, so informing people of my pronouns is more complicated than just putting them in my bio and calling it a day. I've asked Alex to please just say he/him, but they're so resistant and weird about it because of their irrational fears, which...honestly just feels transphobic now).

Now I've started to ask them to drop the nickname entirely, even privately. Call me James and nothing else forever. Jamie has been thoroughly ruined for me, I just feel nauseous when I see or hear it. But at this point, since I lost my job & most of my social network is through Alex, everyone calls me Jamie, and it's exhausting to correct them over and over when it's such a small, seemingly pedantic thing. I don't mind a little confrontation or advocating for myself, but this...this is beyond what I can handle without getting severely stressed out.

So I've been considering changing my name to something else that doesn't have such a common gender neutral/feminine nickname. Just start over. Reset.

But this would be the third time I've changed my name. The first time was like 6 years ago, and it only lasted a few months before I decided it didn't fit, and went back to using my deadname while I figured myself out. My family remembers this well, and 2 years ago when I told them I go by James now, expressed their frustration because I "keep changing things and it's confusing". I'm worried that if I change my name again, nobody will bother to take it seriously, they'll just assume I'll change it again, so why bother using the correct name at all.

Plus I do see how it could be considered petty or immature. It took years to settle on the name I have now. I put a ton of thought into it. I used to love it. I might be TA for letting something as unimportant as an overused nickname sway me to the point where I feel like I need to throw the whole name away.

I mean, I understand why younger trans people might do that, since they have less of their life established and are figuring out who they are, but I'm nearly 30, so I feel like I am getting too old for this. It's just tiring.

Idk, I probably won't make any decisions based on the results of this, but the feedback would be helpful to consider. WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[autisticrosewilson]

Childhood friend queer platonic autistic Jayrose is so fucking important to me. Because like, Jason had to learn to be self sufficient from a young age and he's been consistently been parentified by the adults who he was supposed to be able to rely on most during his most formative years. And Rose was taught how to stand up for herself, she learned that she had to be self serving to survive by Slade and the conditions her mom's death forced her into.

So now fast forward and they're both on the teen Titans due to their older brothers who they have complicated relationships with. And Rose doesn't speak English very well yet and the buzz of the city puts all of her weird new senses on overdrive and suddenly she's seeing things happen before they happen. And Jason is too small for his age and doc says he probably won't get much bigger but he's Robin and Robin has to be strong. So he fights like he did on the streets, like this could be his next meal or not, because maybe it is. What is he without Robin?

They both keep to themselves at first. Rose hides in her room or behind Joey, because she doesn't really understand American sign language yet, but his touch is always gentle and she's good at seeing what other people miss. Used to analyzing the small changes in peoples stance and face, never quite able to trust peoples words. And Jason hides away in the small book nook in the tower or the training room and he tries to be as small as he can when not on missions. He's always been good at being unnoticed.

But maybe one night Rose gets a vision, one of the bad ones that make her head ache and her eyes burn. And Jason is in the kitchen, woken up from another nightmare about phantom hands and lifeless eyes. And Rose sees the boy everyone else leaves alone, the one who reads the books with the complicated words and moves like a ghost.

And Jason turns and sees the girl with the ceaseless eyes and stiff words, he can't help remembering the stories of changelings when he looks at her. And they freeze, but then the timer for the cinnamon rolls he stress baking goes off. And so they sit there, in the Titans kitchen with cinnamon rolls and iced tea and they tell each other their names. They both sleep a little lighter that night.

[goodluckclove]

Storytime: Holy Shit Going No Contact Was A Really Good Idea, Actually

TW: offhanded mentions for abuse and neglect, general parental bullshit

Okay so people were saying they're down for this so here I go.

A little context for those who don't know: I'm an adult child of pretty severe emotional and psychological abuse, as well as like comical degrees of neglect that I've been making up for over the course of the past year for so. I say "comical" not because it's funny, but because if it was depicted in like a YA novel critics would pan it for being unrealistic. My mom convinced me that doctors don't actually like it when you get checkups and get mad at you for "wasting their time", so I didn't see a doctor for like eight or so years. That's on the low end of how fucked these people are. My parents are both alcoholics and my mom is a diagnosed narcissist (she doesn't know this, but I do because my long-time psychologist was her psychologist first before she decided she was "done with therapy". He told me this after like four years as a part of his attempt to get me to realize I was in a deeply fucked situation, ultimately saving my life in a very literal sense - but that's another story). I'm not saying you can't be both of those things and not be a good person, but I am saying she did not choose to go down that particular path.

I went no contact shortly after I got married to a person who was able to see that my parents were both pretty mean to me most of the time in ways I forced myself to process as humor. They sent like one weird card before we moved and now they don't have my new address or phone number.

Unfortunately I'll still occasionally hear random updates about them - mainly from my older sister, who was the object of my mom's obsessive, manipulative, parent-ifying "love" before she left home at 18 and I became the new Golden Goose. I don't like this. I wish she would stop doing this. I asked her before, but I guess she forgot. Or maybe part of the shell shock from the damage of our childhood is that she just needs to tell someone who would understand in a more primal way than her fiancee. I don't know. She pretty much raised me when I was younger so I guess this is what I'm giving her in return.

A couple of days ago she called me and casually mentioned the latest scrambling my parents are doing. They're moving in with my grandma so she can keep living in the home she raised her family in. They're not kicking out my autistic brother anymore, they're actually bringing him with them. I don't think he has a choice. They're also bringing the family dog they've neglected even worse than they did me, despite how my grandma absolutely insisted she would never want a pet. They're going to turn my kind of run-down childhood home into a rental for extra income. My parents are landlords to be. Cool cool cool.

A lot of this is about money. I have never been comfortable talking about money - probably more so than other people. I never had it explained to me. It wasn't displayed or handled in a way that made sense in my mind. My mom complained and lamented about bills to me all the time but she also had maybe four Prada purses. It didn't make sense.

Something she told me a lot about were the details of my grandmother's will - like, from as young as maybe 16. My grandma is indeterminately wealthy in a way I don't really understand and can barely even guesstimate. She owns her own house, remodeled it, bought my uncle a house, bought my childhood home when my parents almost got kicked out and they paid her the mortgage ever since. She paid for all my siblings (except for me since I dropped out) to go to college. She has an amount of money. I have no idea how much since she's pretty buttoned up - loving, but reserved - which I was told is just a generational thing for some Japanese people. I mean she has the right. She spent like a year or two in a concentration camp as a little girl, she has the fucking right.

But yeah I was told more than a few times that I have a big inheritance for after grandma dies. My mom never told me how much but stressed that it was a lot. I didn't really know why she was telling me this. I actually felt like she shouldn't be telling me this. It made me feel sad and dirty to hear her describe it as something I should be excited for. She also mentioned a lot that I was the only grandchild in the will, and not my three step-siblings that I've known since birth.

Once again - this was NOT something I wanted to know. I had no idea what to do with that information. I tried not to think about it.

Fast forward a couple of years and I'm married and we just bought a house. So before you officially buy a house there's a point where an inspector looks everything over and gives you the details - you know, so you can make an informed decision. The inspection we got for the first house we almost bought informed us that the whole thing was hand-renovated and pretty much fucked to the point where if we bought it we'd have to replace the walls. We didn't buy that house.

The inspector for the second house we loved confirmed it was old. Most of the houses in Portland are old. But it seemed pretty much fine. The only issue was some moss on the roof and a few loose shingles, he said. So we bought it.

Turns out the roof is not good. It's very not good. And we have to replace it before October or else we'll lose our home insurance, and ultimately the home itself. Stressful! I found a pretty knowledgeable roofer and he quotes 14k for the treatment. Add that to the 10k we were already planning on spending on refinancing - a separate financial obstacle course for home owners that Riley was pursuing, since the fiances are their domain - and we were both at a loss as to what to do.

Ultimately I reluctantly decide to see if my grandma would give me part of my inheritance early. Or all of it? I debate how to phrase it for a night. I didnt want to assume how much she was planning on leaving me. I didn't really like to think about how she left specifically me anything in terms of money.

But that didn't end up being an issue! Because when I called my grandma and explained the situation, how we were hit with like three major financial blows back to back and were just hoping to get some aid until things stabilized in a few months, she casually mentioned that I'm actually not in her will. None of the grandkids are!

I immediately stammered out a series of no no nevermind then, but she stopped me and explained how she has a "small emergency fund" for situations like this and asks how much I needed. I say I'm not comfortable with that, but she won't drop the subject. She says the roof is 14k so she'll just give me that. She says 14k won't be a dent in her "small emergency fund". I have absolutely no idea what my grandma's financial situation is.

Did you know if you're given only Goodwill clothes for all of your formative years you're likely to be unable to buy new clothes at even a Target without feeling lost and sick to your stomach? Did you know that if you take Lithium they won't let you sell your blood? Do you know the easiest ways to shoplift food?

I don't think my grandma knows any of that and at this point I don't want to tell her.

I accept the check. I thank her. Riley thanks her. We both cry a lot for a lot of the morning because this is just a lot and it's very confusing. Riley says they've never accepted that amount of money before and would never imagine it coming from a family member. I say my grandma has been doing shit like this for my whole life.

But in the back of my head I'm reeling. I don't consider myself a materialistic person, but I can't help but ask why did my mom lie to me? Why did she lie, and continue to push the lie even when she saw it made me uncomfortable? Why did she bring it up when I'd get mad at my siblings as a way to force me to put aside my feelings?

It's just such a random thing to make up and double down on. Triple down, even. And I understand this whole mess comes from a pretty lucky position - we were able to buy a house and get financial aid to keep the house at a crucial time. That's lucky. We're really lucky. But why the fuck was she keeping up this bit for so long?

She could've never mentioned it and I wouldn't be upset about not being in the will. Frankly I probably wouldn't notice. But holy shit I carried so much stress for years over being the one grandchildren in the will that I had no clue how to navigate. I debated telling my siblings but after all of us were told that we should consider ourselves blood-related, hearing that our own grandmother drew a distinction sounded devastating.

I can't think of a reason why my mom would push a lie this random but so big for so long. It wasn't for me, clearly. I'm not upset that I'm not going to get a fucking jackpot when my grandma dies. I was never really able to wrap my mind around that being a thing. I'm just fucking baffled that my mom was so completely delusional for my whole life and I just followed along for so long.

So long! I was so unbelievably loyal to her despite every attempt she made to drag me into the void. The day before I got married I was telling her over video call that I didn't have a right to be unhappy not working while I recovered from my first major medication shift in years. She said, even though I am the only child of four to pay rent in their own apartment, that I should be grateful for my soon-to-be wife because "without them I'd be homeless".

Fuck that. Fuck that and fuck her. With the stories I have I could ruin my parents in my extended family's eyes forever. The only thing that keeps me from doing that is knowing that it would hurt my Grandma more to know that she wasn't able to step in while it was actually happening. And she's done so much for me and our family that I don't want her to carry that in the end of her life.

It was one lie that really made me realize some things, though. The best thing I ever did for myself was cut contact with my parents. If I didn't cut contact - if I didn't move states - I would almost guaranteed be dead. This is not an exaggeration. It was fucking messy.

But I got out. I have a wife and a few close friends, a roof over my head and some cats darting around my feet. Before we moved I was terrified of my parents showing up at our old apartment. I used to spiral imagining mom screaming outside the door. I tried to plan with Riley what we'd do if that happened. One night I claimed I wanted to take a boxing class "so I can know what it feels like to get really hit and I won't be afraid of it anymore".

I'm not scared now. These are sick people and I've spent more than enough time lamenting how awful my life would be if I continued not noticing that. I was thinking my mom was unable to perceive me as my own person, and now I'm convinced she never saw me or my sister as people at all. We were just little dollies she could whisper all her traumas to.

I hope my sister cuts contact too. I told her about the will thing and said that I'm pretty sure my parents would use that as a way to keep relationships with their remaining children. I said she should probably consider that if she decides to cut ties.

Honestly, I won't blame her if she does that and decides to stay in contact. It's a hard world out there. But I hope she does anyway. She just bought a house too and is about to get married to a man with a family infinitely more loving than ours ever was. I tell her to consider them her family. After the shit she's seen that's the least she deserves.

[cult-of-the-eye]

Ok I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make the new hyperfixation post:

CRIMINAL MINDS:

I started watching it cause I was on the internet during the Dr Reid thirst trap era and let's just say a scrawny motherfucker with autism is the surefire way to get me to watch something

Especially when everyone is going through the horrors

I am in love with the format of the show, with the whole quotes and then different characters saying the quotes and the isolated cases with the slight hints of more background for each of the characters it's really keeping me going

I'm not great with gore and shit but like it's got shitty 2000s CGI so like it's easy to tell myself it's just actors with fake blood

Also listen I had to tap into my 9 yr old undiagnosed autistic obsessed with psychopaths phase at some point

It just tickles the right parts of my brain

Anyway the characters are why I stuck around

Gideon <3333 I love that strange walrus looking man I love how he's simultaneously such an emotional rock for everyone in the BAU but also dealing with his own things, he goes into each of the crimes with such calmness and compassion and I just love that weird old man especially when he introduced himself as Jason to the little girl he was saving in that one episode, i was like HE'S MAKING HIMSELF SEEM LIKE LESS OF A THREAT BY INTRODUCING HIMSELF WITH HIS FIRST NAMEEEE, HE'S TRYING TO PUT HER AT EASE

Hotch oh man it was one scene specifically that literally started my brainrot for this guy, I wasn't that into him in the first couple of episodes and then it was revealed that he was horrifically abused by his dad and actively chose to go into a pathway that would catch people like that and people who get abused and then go on to abuse others and I just. AH. i am such a sucker for any character who has endured things that no one ever should endure at the hands of another human being and then instead of becoming completely bitter and taking the eye for an eye mindset, they vow to make sure the cycle stops with them and they may not be all sunshine and daisies and instead rough a lot of the times but they do it and they do it realistically

He's got a wife and a kid!!! He did it!! He made a better life for himself and it makes me feel like I could too, he's so strong and I feel like my strength can one day be used for more than just survival

Elle!!!! God I love her I feel like she's so realistic for a woman in her field, she's smart and strong and capable and she acknowledges all the things she has going against her, she's compassionate to the female rape victims, she gets furious at the people targeting women in particular what i would do to be this woman's friend

Reid. Oh lord. Listen I'm not on the thirst trap train but I do understand the love for this guy. My love for him however stems from the autism. The whole wanting to be useful and only knowing how to through interests and hyperfixations and feeling like he's missing out on some things cause he's different

It was the hostage situation on the train that got to me he was just so REAL and it's so awesome to see autistic people succeed in stuff like this

It's also nice to see him accepted by the team for who he is

I do also like him cause he's cool but it's easier to explain the autism stuff

Garcia - wonderful amazing spectacular I love me a confident woman in stem

Morgan - i like how he's sort of the "cool guy" archetype but his whole thing is getting into the mind of the UnSub I feel like it gives him more depth

JJ - god she's so cool and calm under pressure I love her

So yeah. The BAU is my new comfort character crew I'm taking Elle with me everywhere

But also do I have major issues with the idea of behavioural analysis in crime? Absolutely. It is so insanely subjective the way they're going off of probability, the way their precedent probably lacks temporal validity and also population validity with both the androcentrism and ethnocentrism it does feel wrong to be coming to such a conclusion about the UnSub so quickly and decisively, even though I understand their whole thing is getting there quickly. I just know that categorising human behaviour is never as simple as it seems.

Do I think they tackle some of these issues in the show? Sort of. Am I also aware this is a fictional drama TV show and it may not be that deep? Yes.

Anyway

[squarebracketsmileyface]

you mentioned before that tim and brian would have a hypothetical kid named jesse down the line, if jesse is going to be canon, what is he like and what is his relationship with his parents and sister?

Honestly I haven't thought much about Jesse simply because he's so far in the future and I've been very preoccupied with Birdie and Tim, but I have put at least a little thought into his relationship with his parents and sister. Well, mostly his sister lol.

He adores Birdie from the get go, is absolutely fascinated by her and constantly wants to be held by her. He'll fuss when she leaves the room etc. he's such a big sisters boy (is that a word? Like mummy's boy or daddy's girl? Whatever) he adores her, and she adores him back, constantly brings him bugs to look at and all that. He did try to put one in his mouth a few times when he was a baby though so she has to keep the bugs just out of baby-arm's reach 💀

She's also his number one defender when he starts school. They're both autistic and very weird with it (Birdie with her insects and Jesse with I think it was lizards? Reptiles and lizards and stuff like that I'm pretty sure?) so unfortunately Jesse does get bullied a bit... Until his big sister brings in the insect the kid bullying Jesse is most scared of the next day and just sorta follows him around with it, telling him facts about it while he's crying because she's chasing him with some terrifying creature in hand. She threatens to put it on him if he picks on Jesse again (even though she definitely wouldn't because the insect could get hurt that way) and yeah, Jesse doesn't get picked on again. After that he doesn't get bullied again, sorta? just that kinda mean "leaving that person out and not choosing them in PE etc" kinda bullying? That's still bullying but he's not getting physically bullied or insulted by his peers so?

He's got a couple of good friends though, and he has absolutely no qualms about spending lunch with his big sister. For the sake of me loving these two, they're at a very small school which has like, reception to year 11 —about 4 to 16 year old— kids all on one school, tho reception to year six —about 4 to 10/11 years old?— probably have their own playgrounds so they don't get kneed in the heads by older kids 💀. This is because I don't know how US schools work and I can't be bothered to work it out so I'm going with UK school age ranges and year names and all that. Basically Jesse and Birdie's primary school and highschool are the same place and Birdie can go onto the primary school playgrounds at lunch without getting yelled at by teachers (pretty sure you can't do that at UK schools either, even when primary and high school are on basically the same land, at least you couldn't at the schools I went to, but anyway)

When it comes to Jesse and his parents I've thought about it a lot less unfortunately 💀

I have thought about him and Tim a bit? Tho that was mostly me thinking about Tim and Birdie and coming up with something because of that. Anyway, Tim is a very anxious parent, he's lost so many people in his life and really struggles with not being able to see Birdie at all times, he was a major helicopter parent because he was constantly catastrophizing about something awful happening to her if he left the room for even a moment. And obviously he gets better with this over time, therapy works wonders so he was a little less of a helicopter with Jesse, but when Birdie moves away for University he really struggles with panicking about if she's okay. She phones him most nights to chat, but between those times he's gotta do something with his anxiety.

So, he puts all his focus into Jesse. Jesse's like, idk still under ten when Birdie's 18 and off to uni, so he's still living at home (duh) and Tim can just dote on him. So he does. Tim bakes with Jesse whenever he wants, let's Jesse help with making his dinner (even though it slows the process down exponentially), is happy to let Jesse stay up ten minutes longer whenever he wants (this isn't as bad as it could be though because in his head Tim's set Jesse's bedtime at like, half 8 at latest and he gives Jesse his "ten more minutes" at 7:20pm so like, Jesse's only feeling like he's going to bed late y'know?)

Jesse loves his dad's, absolutely adores them. Not as much as he adores his sister, but still a lot.

Also I keep thinking about giggly, bubbly, grinning baby and toddler Jesse sitting on Brian's lap while Brian does wheelies and spins in circles in his wheelchair. Jesse's definitely a "spinning in circles" autistic kid and his favourite way to spin is sitting in Brian's lap. Only issue there is Brian getting dizzy and not being able to do it for as long as Jesse wants lol.

[strangefellows]

*holds up microphone to you*

TELL ME ABT UR LOBCORP NUGGETS OR UR PJM HCS ID LOVE TO HEAR EITHER!!!!! :3

(also i 100% get the feeling of not knowing how to interact w/ the fandoms ur apart of ;-;)

OH HELLO THANK YOU FOR THE ASK it really is such a mood isn't it, im just sitting here like I Want To Talk But Howmst-- ;u;

BUT YES! HCS! I don't have fully formed headcanons for all of my nuggets yet but I have a few bits and pieces!

Almost all of the main facility nuggets I have are between 15-21, none of them are adults (except two)

Tybalt is Control captain and i love him, he's a loudmouthed little shit troublemaker who's kind of everyone's friend, everyone trusts him a lot

Anzo in Control and Odelia in Information are siblings (big sis/little bro), and Regina in Records and Khama in Safety are twin sisters

Deva in Control is Tybalt's second, and during the last few days she took over command of Architecture for a bit; she's a sassy deadpan snark machine and really competent

Cecily in Training and Adzo in Extraction are friends from the same Nest, though Adzo is a bit more spoiled brat while Cecily is spoiled sweet

Harriet in Information (is based on a nugget from TQ's LPArchive LP) is weird. Very weird. Probably spent a little too long in Extraction weird. She has cutesy nicknames for all the Abnos

Ania, the Safety Captain, has a bit of a crush on Netzach; Zaph on Safety team is also an Extraction transfer he's a bit cracked but he and Khama are the two most badass fighters outside Disciplinary, they have the Apocabird / Whitenight gifts to prove it

Alban in Command is the youngest agent and everyone kinda babies him; Salome in Command is. Also weird but not because of the facility, she's just always been weird. Do not let her flirt with you. Daud in Command is a former U Corp whaler, he's a bit of a hot mess and very tired, one of the two agents older than 21.

Ryland is the Welfare captain and one of the most trusted and well liked captains besides Tybalt, he's a reliable big brother type. Livia in Welfare is the youngest besides Alban and one of the newest agents, very shy and sweet.

Disciplinary captain Aphra is a LEGEND, she is queen badass lesbian everyone is in awe of her. Her and her whole team have the Apocabird gifts, they took it out the first time it breached. Disc team is almost all girls save for Halldor, who is very quiet and kind of autistic and chill.

Records team is also all girls save one, Gidon, who is also pretty quiet but more because he's just content to let others take the lead; the girls are known as the Records Queens because they're the scariest girl clique ever and pretty on top of shit; their captain Dido is older too, the other one above 21, and she's scariest.

Nieve in Extraction is a sweetie and friends with most everyone; Edda and Raisa down there are the current weirdos, and Max the captain is a nice guy. All of them somehow aren't scared of Binah at all.

WOW OK THAT'S MORE THAN I THOUGHT but i love everyone so much haha...

Some other misc LobCorp hcs: Yesod is from District G, Hod is from District N. Yesod knows (and Hates) Hermann Limbuscompany. Ayin and Hokma are both from District B and grew up next door neighbors. I can't think of more off the top of my head but! That's a good place to start i think THANK YOU FOR ASKING;;;

[lizardperson]

this is my human costume

[on ao3]

fandom: original work rating: g cw: implied bullying, parent death/loss of parent mention, autistic alienation wc: 751 prompt: #fff265 galaxies away for @flashfictionfridayofficial

---

Eleonor was a strange creature. A weird kid. An alien, alone among humans, somehow transported to Earth from a faraway galaxy. On an expedition to study them, perhaps.

Of course, Eleonor knew they weren't really an alien. They're human like everyone else, their brain just worked a little differently. A few years ago Dad had explained what autism is, and that it was the reason they had a hard time playing with the other children and why the world got a bit too much occasionally. Dad said it's fine, no big deal, but people might make it a big deal. "Some people don't like it when someone is different. But that's their problem, not yours." So yes, El got picked on by the other kids - they didn't care too much. In a way, it was just another point for the alien expedition report. Now that they were in middle school, the mean remarks had gotten more, though. Maybe the new school would be better. Maybe it would be worse. "Maybe you'll make some friends!" El never particularly understood that concept.

"Ellie - sorry, Eleonor," Dad corrected himself immediately, "meet Quinn. Remember, I told you about her? She's Victor's daughter?" El knew how happy Dad was to move here, now being practically neighbors with his oldest friend - because he had said so repeatedly, and because of the smile all over his face. They still had trouble sometimes telling apart a fake smile and a real one with most people, but that one definitely was real. The dark-haired girl beside him on the other hand looked very much not happy, crossing her arms in front of her chest and frowning.

"I'm sure you two will be friends," he predicted, perhaps a bit too optimistic, and left Quinn standing in El's room.

As soon as he was out of the door, Quinn dropped down on the bed, arms still crossed. "Just for the record, I'm not looking for any friends, and I'm too old for fucking playdates anyway," she stated.

"Okay. Me too." El turned back to their book, glad this matter was apparently settled and they were in agreement.

After a few minutes of silence, Quinn at least uncrossed her arms and made herself a bit more comfortable on the bed. "So. Ellie."

"Eleonor. Or just El," they corrected without looking up from the book.

"Why not Ellie?"

"Because Mom used to call me that. But I never really liked it much."

"She died, didn't she?"

El closed their book and looked up. "Yeah. Last year." They didn't mind talking about it, but a lot of people got really strange when the topic came up. A few adults even got weirdly touchy and wanted to comfort them for some reason? El wasn't exactly a fan. A lot of kids their age either shrugged it off because they couldn't relate to it, or got sad because they were suddenly confronted with the fact that their parents might be mortal.

"I wish my mom was dead too."

That was a reaction El hadn't gotten before. Curious. "Why?"

"'She's dead' sounds nicer than 'she got tired of me and dumped me with my dad'," Quinn shrugged and crossed her arms again. "Not that I wanted to stay with her anyway. I hate her."

El studied the other girl and went through the mental checklist of emotions, landing on either 'angry' or 'sad'. Option one would mean to calm her down somehow before that anger turned towards El, and option two would mean comforting her. El was pretty bad at both those things, in their own opinion, and had learned from experience that picking the wrong option usually made everything worse.

"Yeah, makes sense." Maybe that would just end the conversation.

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "What, aren't you going to tell me what a horrible thing to say that is? What a terrible and ungrateful child I am? Because surely my mom loves me very much, and all that bullshit?"

El shrugged. "I don't know your mom, so I have no opinion on her."

Quinn frowned and stared at them for a few moments. "You're a weird one."

"So I've been told," El chuckled. "I'm just an alien from a faraway galaxy, visiting Earth or something."

"Well, your human disguise is pretty good. I like it." Quinn smiled a little, and El was reasonably sure that was a real smile. "You know what, I think I might be an alien too."

"Nice to meet you then, fellow extraterrestrial."

[ikoarts]

November 2022 Art

huh. a lot of silly doodles this month, some random stuff from my phone too, was on some silly energy i think x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 08/11/2022 : horse Ru but like, an actual horse. shes real. get horsed idiot. shes a bay tobiano marwari (also one i did on my phone)

2, 3 - 09/11/2022 : much silliness. was thinking of koopas again, theres barley, who is weird, and also lemmy, giving good advice x

4 - 10/11/2022 : horsie! again! thats about it

5, 6 - 12/11/2022 : more koopaz, they smoke veed together i guess, i liked drawing these i was on sily energy

7 - 13/11/2022 : jammy lammy. drawn on my phone x ,, i think i doodled this then i started on my full digital piece of her?

8, 9, 10 - 14/11/2022 : roosh in the rush shirt, ive been asked if she likes rush bc shes rush-ada which i find funny (no sadly i wish i was that funny), she never dresses like this but i like to draw her in things she'd probably Want to wear but wouldn't bc shes a self conscious old lady..... ANYWAY omg first drawing where i drew Ru with her iconic half moon eyes instead of having the empty space, now her eyes are a full shape,, its been this way ever since and it feels so much better, maximum droopiness, shes pathetic really but i love her, toni might invoke this rage on me if she catches me saying that tho

also penguin dance. watch that autistic girl groove

11 - 15/11/2022 : moar drawing Ru in outfits she would want to wear but wouldn't normally, like this is how i dress so this is projection probably.. i was on my peak boingo fix at this point (has not stopped) so Toni is having a sing x (has been misinterpreted as her ripping a bong at least three times) and a little Luisa hehe

12, 13 - 16/11/2022 : Toni would have a YT channel in canon, like thats how she breaks into the music scene, but i like thinking of her doing cliche youtuber things.. also the first (not first but the First first is like an incomplete concept doodle) drawing of Trixie! i knew i wanted a new robo oc, and she had to be a gnasty diesel powered idiot, she hasn't changed too much

14 - 18/11/2022 : silly time again, ru n toni on their catgirl and horsegirl business, i am 5 and poop is funny

15-18 - 25/11/2022 : holy ponies batman! horseshada (yes thats what i call her) as a G3 styled MLP, both in her natural colours, and unnatural colours (her pony name is Blue Moon), also TONI PONY! (her pony name is Heart-To-Heart). gay ass little ponies

19-23 - 28/11/2022 : so like. at this point i was in the middle of watching waterloo road (classic series the new one sucks big balls), and this is like the only thing i could conjure up...... also another mettatetta, was still unsure about his design, but its comin!! later!! have patience!! the rest are some various Rushadas, in an outfit from animal crossing pocket camp since i was playing that again at this point, i should draw her in it again bc she SERVES.. also her in her jammies, i wanted a go at drawing plaits, pretty proud of that one, her hair is so thick and lovely <3

24 - 29/11/2022 : so like i really dont have enough aus i guess, catgirl toni n horsegirl rushada, but like, they're more anthro this time, that was basically the concept, and to recap, ive got like centaur au, like full animal au, and one where its just them but they have the ears and tails, its complicated!

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Hi! Can i request a romantic matchup for star wars, hp marauders and DC? :3 (sorry if i make any mistakes english is not my first language :3) Anyways, about me: I'm bisexual and demisexual. She/her pronouns but neutrals are fine. Infj 4w3, big 3 are; gemini sun, taurus moon, sag rising. I have short dark hair and I loveeee to style it like marilyn monroe (I'm obsessed with old hollywood) I have olive pale skin and dark brown eyes, I'm 5'7 and skinny but not too much mostly because I'm a figure skater! idk i think im really pretty! Mexican with italian and native family. Older sister that basically took raised her little brother and depressed mom (damn.)I love my family and basically love human interactions lmao. Extrovert (? idk) my friends describe me as likeable, charismatic, clumsy, witty, confident, idealistic, caring and nice. I love making people feel comfortable and welcome. People that don't like me may describe me as argumentative, annoying, stubborn, greedy, with ego or even mean and i'm not going to deny anything of that tbh. I loveeee feeling pretty and I'm a girly nerd girl, champagne colors, black and pink are def my thing. I love political science, neuropsychology, literature, women history and pyshics. My specials interests are: old hollywood, star wars (mostly obi-wan kenobi lol) manifestation, barbie and Sylvia plath. And yes, I'm autistic but I work with it really well. I love to perform and all that stuff, I was in a band, playing guitar and singing, musicals, figure skating, ballet etc. I don't talk about my problems to anyone, i just write them down because i don't really like to worry people and i know it's not healthy but idc. I always manage to be optimistic but realistic. I'm a perfectionist and I reaaaaally hate doing something wrong so that's mostly when I have my mental breakdowns lmao. Quite touchy with people i really like, hugs, touching faces, playing with hair, toying with hands, but I always make sure that they're okay with it! Also i'm quite bubbly and flirty but I'm not really interested on someone(mostly because now relationships are really weird, help.), I'm really specific with what i want and i have high standards. I hate: thunderstorms(im really scared of them) crowded places were i'm alone, really negative people, pick me's, pumpkins, immature people, facists, last minute surprise, people with horrible communication skills. Sand and the beach. Maps and driving, unfair stuff, sexism and men being stupid. I love: summer and spring, animals, makeup, any kind of music but my favs are: mcr, britney spears, fiona apple, the cardigans, marina, lana del rey, ariana grande, nine inch nails, the cure and bikini kill. Stawberrys, gossip girl, mexican soap operas (I LOVE RUBI AND TERESA!!!) comics and nerdy stuff (It all started because i wanted to prove a boy that I hated that I knew more about star wars than him and I ended up watching all the movies, series and reading all prequels books lmao)playing legos with my little brother, baking and having debates with my literature teacher.

Hello! I'm sorry this has taken so long to get posted! I hope you like it nonetheless! (I also love old hollywood! I love marilyn, audrey hepburn, and cary grant!) Enjoy! <33333

---

(Romantic);

---

Star Wars;

Obi-Wan Kenobi:

🌙 You met Obi-Wan on a random planet that he was visiting for some undisclosed reasons; you were walking with your friends past him, and as you both passed each other, you made eye contact - the world seemed to slow down, your eyes locked on one another - love at first sight

🌙 You didn't see Obi-Wan until when you and your friends we drinking in the nearby cantina; your friends gestured to the mysterious man across the bar, and you followed their line of sight - seeing the man that you had passed earlier that day, your friends hyped you up to go over and talk to him

🌙 The conversation floooowed, and I mean flowed, the instant connection that you had with this man was undeniable and intoxicating - you couldn't get enough of his voice and how his words seemed to grapple and pull you right in; it wasn't until later in the night that you found out his name, Obi-Wan Kenobi

🌙 Months later, Obi-Wan, trapped in the Jedi Laws, tried to hide how much he enjoyed your presence, but it was difficult, in the end - risking his Jedi life and duty - he confessed who he truly was, but you still loved him all the same

🌙 Your and Obi's relationship was kept a secret, even from most of your friends, though Anakin quickly figured it out - you and Obi were a perfect match, always there for each other, always understanding and caring towards one another; you both loved each other to the moons and back... And then some

---

Harry Potter (Marauders);

James Potter:

✨ You met James at Hogwarts, and you instantly felt a connection between the two of you - it wasn't long until the both of you were flirting with one another, joking around, having a few laughs; the feelings you had for each other were unspoken, but understood

✨ You and James were inseparable, whenever you could, you'd be together, joined at the hip, no matter the time of day - and you were always touching each other in some way, holding hands, playing with his hair, his arms around you; you'd often squish his cheeks together, James would always blush at the contact

✨ When spending nights together - either just cuddling or talking about your favorite music, comics, or your love for strawberries - and a thunderstorm arises, he is always there for you, distracting you or covering your ears while holding you; if a storm is coming, it's like a sixth sense

✨ During the summer, you and James meet up as much as possible - you get the opportunity to show him your favorite music, movies, and shows - sometimes if you're lucky, James let's you do his makeup

✨ James and your little bro would probably get along beautifully as well, and I would bet that James would love to play with Legos with you and your brother - even though he has no idea what they are in the beginning XD

---

DC;

Harley Quinn:

♥ You met Harley at one of her roller derby games - being a figure skater, you enjoyed seeing people roller skate - you immediately caught her eyes as she raced around the track; your Marilyn Monroe styled hair was amazing to say the least

♥ She had to tell you how much she loved your hair, and she did after winner her match, meeting you out in the parking lot before you and your friends left; she made sure to compliment you (a lot), and even gave you her card, which you took with a smile

♥ Her card didn't have any number or address, so you believed that it was going to be difficult to find her, but you were surprisingly wrong - small world, even if it was Gotham - you met her at this small convenience store, where you found her waiting for a breakfast sandwich

♥ You and her decided to walk around Gotham together, but the outing was short lived as she was getting chased by like ten people - you didn't see Harley for a long while, but when you did, she had a Hyena and a kid (and a nice car)

♥ You joined Harley and Cassandra (and Bruce) on their adventures, stealing marshmallows from stores, going around town causing slight chaos, and just having a grand ol' time together

---

[immoralimmortals]

I really love that u include things about Takaras life here in our world and well it got me thinking how the heck would the akatsuki survive school in ur perspective, it can be anything really, u can even include Takara. I REALLY love her as a character

I need to be honest with you, and I'll try to put this in the most lighthearted way possible: I fucking hated school. Absolute nightmare, 0/10 would not do again. Makes my pulse race just thinking about it. I learn about socially uncomfortable things for fun and to this day nothing makes me stand up and leave the room faster than a scene where you can smell the school bullying around the corner. The concept of "school" in media is my white whale, my blight, my curse, my ultimate challenge, and it does NOT matter how trivial and comedic the actual scene is.

So my view of school is, perhaps, skewed compared to how other people think about it.

That being said, I'm going to do my best to shove all that into the locker now that this exposition is out of the way. Let's talk about fun school AU ideas!

The "Akatsuki" is a group of kids, let's think maybe towards the younger side, elementary school. They have little in common besides how one at a time, they all become outcasts and join in as a result.

The original Akatsuki are, of course, Nagato, Konan, and Yahiko, who along with being friends, became dedicated to an idea of justice and fairness. Yahiko moved to another school, which fundamentally changed the vibe. Nagato and Konan, though still great friends, are both inherently very quiet and introverted, Yahiko being the one that spoke for them all; Nagato promised himself he'd learn how to be a good leader like Yahiko was.

Obito, deeply lonely having just moved *in* to the school, begins to hang around, inserting himself more and more, giving his opinions and creating "plans" with them, such as where they should build their new base. Zetsu joins much the same way, merely being around, but seems more like he's watching than participating.

Hidan is a homeschooled kid that has a fence bordering on the playground of the school. He peeks his head over the top and asks the nerds what they're doing, climbing over the barrier and sticking his nose in their business before they can say no.

Kisame and Itachi are already friends, best friends actually. Other kids told them it's weird for two boys so different to be so close, and after getting in one too many fights are sequestered on the side of the playground where their opponents are not. Itachi takes interest in the group, so Kisame is along for the ride.

Kakuzu is the kid that legitimately has anger management issues. He's a very bright kid but typically is not allowed to be with others his age unsupervised, as his temper is heavy and always feels justified. He's brought under the watchful eye of teacher assistants to the playground, so that he can implement his social strategies for better behavior, and for god knows what reason attached to the group of outcasts. Honestly, for the best.

Deidara forcibly joins in because he thinks he can make them into what is, more or less, his personal fan club, being one of the two "art kids" with recognized and praised talent. Upon getting the cold shoulder, he sticks around, thinking it as a challenge. Secretly, however, he has no close friends; that's why he stays.

Sasori is in a similar way as Kakuzu, but in a manner less socially obtrusive. He's quiet, with a near constant steeled expression (see: autistic) and a great level of detail. It's less that he joins and more that the Akatsuki begin to merge around him, little by little, as the intrigue about a supposedly genius boy who doesn't talk to anyone but adults greatens.

The adventure begins when after this group is together and established, they find a lost girl in the woods behind the playground, scraped up and crying. She's so shy she can't stop shaking, not enough to say her name, so they call her Takara. Little by little, as she begins to be able to talk, she does not object to this being her name. She is regularly seen being held by the hand and looking down at her shoes. She "got lost" walking from the school to the playground-- hence her being in the woods-- and is constantly worried about being lost again and left behind. She doesn't say much, but she's always included. She is a student that is transitioning from private parochial school to public school.

[milfhandholder]

Grelliam hcs bcs I bully Will too much LMAO:

Grell "fell first" Sutcliff and William "FELL HARDER" T. Spears

I may be an OVA liker BUT to me, young Grell was so stubborn that her crush didn't exist, she bullied William for the first few years after their exams

Will didn't give a shit frankly but sometimes he'd reply with a deadpan joke and that made Grell go >:(

Older reapers and reapers their age will tell you that Grell is the scary one and Will's the nice one

Junior reapers (ESPECIALLY RON bcs although he loves both of them, he is very Grell-biased in the same way Anya is Loid's girl) will tell you the exact opposite

Young William was essentially young Grell's morality compass

Grell: I could skin him alive if I so please

William: that's horrible, please do not

It took a very long time for William to actually defrost the ice queen. She has ego issues, please be gentle 💔

And it took even longer for them to mutually admit that they like each other

WILLIAM GAVE HER THE ICONIC RED BOOTS WHEN SHE CAME OUT TO HIM, SEND MY MESSAGE TO THE MASSES HE ISN'T BIGOTED STOPPPPPPPPPP

He also gave her the red coat she wore in the German arc bcs ooooooh someone's jealous

Grell is the first girl he ever had a crush on

He is such a mess because he has ZERO (0) RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE

Grell's a little nervous in pursuing him because he's the first man she likes after a train of horrible men

Grelliam are The Power Couple of Dispatch. William is a natural at managing everything and everyone with utter ease, and everyone KNOWS Grell would kill God with her eyes closed if a case demanded it. I call them: The Prince and The Crimson Knight

Sometimes Grell is the big spoon because that's what she's used to and William is internally just going "holy FUCK"

Present day / post-'divorce' William literary has no idea how strong Grell is because (canonically) she loses in every fight against him because she likes him so much

William just thinks she's losing her touch but really it's just.....

Grell: I bestow you the highest honor I can give *loses in every fight against you so your ego gets boosted*

If he were to find out just how strong she is, he'd get turned on actually

William likes his women strong and capable

In a way, they're like each other's bi (re)awakening because William genuinely thought he couldn't be into girls (his type is women who could kill him) and Grell thought she was over men (her SUPERIOR type is men who she could kill)

William HATES pda (he's autistic like me so true) and genuinely feels bad that he can't give Grell what she wants but honestly, Grell's just happy READ MY FIC

So after reading all that, you're going to call me insane for this but they never dated (in my opinion).... stay with me here

They were basically "will they, won't they" to everyone else in Dispatch but to each other, I guess they were in a weird situationship?? Neither of them were in a hurry to make it official but they do enjoy each other's presence

Then came Grell going off with Madame and things got REALLY MESSY

Basically, Will found out and got PISSED because it was supposed to be the two of them against the world, as the paragons, but Grell had to throw that away for some girl

He didn't rat her out immediately because he still loves her and doesn't want her to get in trouble before something serious could be used as evidence

Also he basically helped lessened her sentence because he's soft for her, even if he wants to deny that

William is one of the few people who has seen her cry, other than Othello of course

He knows she has always put on a tough persona for everyone else because she doesn't like anyone knowing they got under her skin. It annoys him a bit because he's thinking "why can't you be honest with yourself? To me?"

And Grell absolutely hates how he knows a little too much about her. She doesn't show it or tell him, but it is something she internalizes a lot

William knows how much Grell likes and adores playing with children. He even called her out once when she told him she doesn't "do kids"

If they met each other in their human life, I believe they either would've gotten married secretly eventually or hate each other and thought nothing more of it

Grell's thumb is literally more artistic than Will could ever be so he looks up to her (secretly) in that regard

I think a younger Grell had told William some bits of her life, especially her ex wife (that I mentioned once or twice before) and the first man she ever liked. I imagine William not being insecure about it because he's like "he's your first love, I intend to be your last"

Young William was, however, EASILY JEALOUS by her random hookups as a freshly dead person. He's sitting there, seething, thinking shit like "SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN YOU, PONYTAIL"

[lesbianrobin]

idk if this is a hot take but honestly i hate the entire "fruity four" thing So much not only bc nancy is the straightest woman in the world but bc honestly i don't see her being close with steve robin and eddie like. At All. like imo (in an ideal scenario where eddie didnt die in the dumbest way possible) they'd do the monster hunting thing together and then nancy would just go off with jonathan like she did for like. most of the show at this point and leave steve robin and eddie who imo would just mesh way better as a trio like idk i can see her losing touch with steve and like Maybe meeting him again when theyre both over forty and she finds out he's married to a man and has to reevaluate her whole worldview but i can't see them actually staying close friends bc honestly. i feel like steve is way better to her overall than she is to him and that robin and eddie would be too weird for her. sorry for the rant the spirit of haterism compelled me

don't apologize i absolutely agree with you and we here at lesbianrobin.tumblr.com welcome the spirit of haterism!

the only thing i'd quibble with is i do think they'd maybe keep in touch fairly frequently throughout their lives if only to check in and be like hey anything weird happening? no? good how ya doing :) yknow i think they're part of the whole upside down family now but everything else is SO right. like steve robin and eddie make a lot of sense to me as a trio but as you said nancy just doesn't really mesh with them. she doesn't like robin's autistic girl swag and she's such an overachiever and i just like. i Know she'd judge steve and eddie for their academic performance. in s3 she showed that she has like no concept of class divisions and i think that would cause problems with eddie and robin. while i'm sure all four of them like care deeply for each other i just can't see nancy casually hanging out with the others on a regular basis.

kinda off topic but in s2 they frame nancy's choice between steve or jonathan as like normalcy vs being weird but as the show has gone on it's pretty clear that like jonathan is a very safe and normal path vkekcjdj like while nancy and jonathan are a super average respectable heterosexual couple steve is out here like working minimum wage no direction in life besties with a lesbian looking after a bunch of teenagers for free because he just loves them etc etc. i recognize that steve himself isn't necessarily weird in the same way that robin and eddie are but like. he's attracted to that. like robin and dustin are both such little nerd freaks and he Adores them he drives robin around and has a nerdy secret handshake with dustin and he is wholeheartedly dedicated to being a lesbian wingman like he is so driven by his heart fuck whatever he's "supposed" to do and i think that's a very interesting sorta subversion of where we began in the steve v jonathan dichotomy.

also fruity four is an evil evil terrible name it sounds stupid and it's homophobic

[rosethreeart]

Hidden Del and Abby Lore beneath 👀

TW for “implied” SA and abuse

I’m copying and pasting from a DM which is why it’s sorta formatted a little weird but it’s been rotating in my brain and I need to SHARE!!!

Okay I've sorta alluded to it in the past with Delaware not really "having a father" and being really close with Prussia. But during the year(s) leading up to the revolutionary war it was legal for redcoats to take house in any colonialist's home. Abby would have been a bit of a young teen (~16?) during this time I think. She would be stuck in her home unaware of whats really occurring in the world-- she's autistic(a fae child if you will) and takes things very literally so when Arthur told her "not to stray from home" she literally took it as "don't leave the property" but I digress. So she's stuck in her home and the revolution is already kinda started at this point? Anyways like a few redcoats take over her home despite her protests and warnings of who her father is. They stay there for a while and eventually take advantage of her cause they're drunk young man with a thirst for power left alone with a pretty young thing and they're assholes </3. She snaps and kills them eventually tho :). They're bodies were thrown into the woods left for the wolves and other creaters that lurk there (sometimes she'll just stare off in that general direction and nobody knows why...) and thats when Prussia find her. A lot of germans were mercenaries during the revolutionary war (for both sides I believe) if memory serves me. So to me it would make sense if England secretly hired Prussia to take care of Abby during the war. So she actually ends up having Del /during/ the war an she and prussia just sorta agree to lie about it cause Abby can't even /speak/ about it. So thats really how Del is born/conceived. I think that nations especially in the past were very much treated like property, and her being a woc didn't really help with that. A few of her bosses would have also very much taken advantage of her over the years. SO she's got some trauma from that type of shit. Anyways that paired with the constant stream of "you're my nation you have to do as your told" and abandonment issues she develops a very unhealthy understanding of what sex is and how it should be used. She might not necessarily /want/ to have sex or even be repulsed by the idea of it in the moment, but she's too afraid of her partner (usually another nation) walking away and leaving her because she wouldn't be a good little girl and do as she's told, so she becomes almost overly sexual. She gets told sex is a casual thing amongst nations and that it can be used to her advantage with actual people so despite the severe disservice shes doing to herself she thinks what she's doing is normal. She also loves her children very much and finds an extreme source of comfort and knowledge that they wont abandon her which kinda selfishly leads her into having/wanting more states which kinda rinses and repeats the cycle of SA she keeps putting herself through. It takes a LONG ass time for her to come to the realization as to what she's been putting herself (and her partner(s)) through over the years and almost completely goes celibate from it. It takes even longer for her to get comfortable with the idea of having sex let alone even having it even if she's with someone she trusts (like Ned). But every once in a while she sorta relapses into it because she /needs/ to know that she's desired by at least one person, that she can be loved, that she's not all the horrid things that the other nations tend to make fun of her for; they wouldn't fuck her if they actually thought of her that way, right? She's got issues </3.

[nature-nerd-sarah]

it's your turn! Narrativise your life! Find a moment that has the core of a novel you'd read and then MAKE IT SO

I've thought about it, and barring any stuff that I should really talk through with a therapist first (the Dutch healthcare system is so overtaxed and understaffed that I probably never will), I think my first year of uni could be pretty good.

Get into uni to study biology. My first ever relationship ended in a break-up near the end of summer vacation, and I have pretty bad social anxiety, but whatever. I'm gonna try my best to make a new life in uni.

Rent a room from a private landlord. It's small and has no outside windows. The only sunlight comes from a window into the hallway, which has an outside window. Whatever.

Dutch unis have a thing called "introduction week", where new students get sorted in groups to do activities during the day and parties at night. I start drifting away from most of my introduction group pretty much as soon as introduction is over. We were just randomly sorted anyway.

I do end up becoming friends with three of them, E1, B1, and L1. Too lazy to think up fake names, so you're just getting the first letter of the first name, and a number if there's more than one person with that letter.

Also met a girl at a camping trip during summer, M1, and we kind of stay in touch. I feel attracted to her, but don't realise this is an after-effect of the break-up.

A new housemate moves in, D1. He complains whenever stuff gets to loud for him, which is anything above a whisper after 6pm, and anything above normal talking during the day. He sometimes starts banging doors and shouting because you're too loud.

I hang out with E1, B1, and L1 at uni for a while, start getting closer and eventually start dating M1, and try not to get into D1's way at home.

At some point, B1 and L1 pair up for a uni assignment. Bad idea. They're too different in how they work, end up fighting, and the friend group falls apart.

Start getting second thoughts about dating M1 around this time too. She's... a difficult person to deal with, and I'm not equipped to handle all that.

At some point, the landlord is having some work done to the bathroom. It's pretty necessary work, but very noisy. D1 attacks the workman over this. They beat each other up pretty badly, and the landlord kicks D1 out.

Meanwhile, I start hanging out with another friend group at uni, an introduction group that did actually stay together. E2, D2, B2, M2, E3, L2, and L3. L1 also hangs out with them, because she's becoming toxic bffs with E2.

I realise I can't with M1 anymore. She really is too much for me to handle. At the time I have some weird superiority complex about breaking up with her, in hindsight I feel bad for using her to get over a previous relationship. Such is life, I guess.

I realise a studymate, D3, lives near my house. I greet him in the way to uni one day, and we end up going together a lot. We also meet up for drinks sometimes.

The friend group I'm hanging out with is becoming pretty toxic. L2 and L3 are talked about barely behind their backs for being too lovey-dovey of a couple. Truth is they're both autistic, and L2 has some pretty bad anxiety that L3 is helping her with.

I at some point mention that I'm bi to this group. I didn't think it was even that remarkable, but they do. I feel a real shift in how they treat me going forward. Especially E2 and L1 become much colder towards me.

I end up hanging out with D3 at uni more as well. Also with his friends M3, N, and T. They're all pretty cool. L2 and L3 start hanging out with us more too, because we're not being shitty about them being lovey-dovey.

I go for drinks with D3 and L3, and the friendship is really cemented. We make a group chat, and start doing most of our assignments together.

This all happened in a little over a year. That final friend group (D3, L2, L3, M3, N, and T) has been my stable group of uni friends for 8 years now. They're the ones I recently came out to as trans.