#THEY REALLY DID ME LIKE THAT HUH
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Chay, Hope, and âThe New Hungerâ
An unnecessary metatextual analysis by an excited English MA queer.
So it all started with this shot from Episode 7 of KinnPorsche:
I zoomed in on the novel next to Chayâs desk out of curiosity and discovered that it was The New Hunger by Isaac Marion. Not a super old book by any means, and definitely one that Chay would realistically be reading.
Also a brief cameo that lets this single comedic shot FORESHADOW SO MUCH OF CHAYâS TRAGIC PLOTLINE without likely intending to do that at all.
Because The New Hunger, published in 2013, is a functional prequel to Marionâs 2010 novel Warm Bodies.
Warm Bodies is by far one of the most beautifully written and engaging re-interpretations of Shakespeareâs âRomeo and Julietâ probably ever written (and I spent 3 summers at Shakespeare camp, so this approval is not coming from a casual fan perspective). There are zombies, apocalyptic drama, Daddy issues, and a LOT of stuff about not losing hope in the face of annihilation, loss, and loneliness.Â
R spends most of the novel talking TO HIMSELF and coping with HOW TO BE ALONE. He is doing exactly what Chay is forced to do for survival: Create his own joy and entertainment. Heâs abandoned by the world around him and must fight at every turn to maintain a sense of agency, all while desperately clinging to the idea that hope is everywhere. Here are some of my favorite Warm Bodies quotes for perspective:
âIt frustrates and fascinates me that we'll never know for sure, that despite the best efforts of historians and scientists and poets, there are some things we'll just never know. What the first song sounded like. How it felt to see the first photograph. Who kissed the first kiss, and if it was any good.â
âWhat wonderful thing didnât start out scary?â
âYou should always be taking pictures, if not with a camera then with your mind. Memories you capture on purpose are always more vivid than the ones you pick up by accident.â
ââWhat's wrong with people?â she says, almost too quiet for me to hear. âWere they born with parts missing or did it [love] fall out somewhere along the way?ââ
âThe sky is blue. The grass is green. The sun is warm on our skin. We smile, because this is how we save the world. We will not let Earth become a tomb, a mass grave spinning through space. We will exhume ourselves. We will fight the curse and break it.â
âDeep under our feet the Earth holds its molten breath, while the bones of countless generations watch us and wait.â
BUT THEN YOU HAVE THE NEW HUNGER.
âNothing is permanent. Not even the end of the world.â
âEnough white lies can scorch the earth black.â
âWhat happened? How did I get here? How could I have known that my choices mattered?â
âCrying. Expelling grief from the body in the form of salt water. What's its purpose? How did it evolve, and why are humans the only creatures on Earth that do it?â
He has not reached the point of exhumation yet.Â
Porchay must first be burned down. He must experience the hopelessness, loss, and devastation of betrayal first.Â
Like yeah, sure, this is a throwaway shot and someone on the set probably grabbed a handful of random books to use but HOLY FUCK they really could not have made a better (potentially) accidental choice!
Like... Jesus Christ in Heat do I love these books more than life itself. Warm Bodies is my second favorite book of all time and again, I read books for a living. You should go check them out if you like romance, comedy, zombies, or really just feeling good about the end of a novel. Isaac Marion will fundamentally change your life and the way you look at the world and itâs a wonderful experience.
But also the accidental foreshadowing of Porchayâs world being burnt up... of his memories being tainted and blackened by Kimâs lying and Porscheâs secrecy... Ugh it hurts. I am having some feelings in this Chiliâs tonight.Â
#kimchay#kinnporsche the series#kpts analysis#kpts meta#kinnporsche meta#kinnporsche analysis#textual analysis#kimhan theerapanyakul#porchay kittisawat#kpts ep 7#kpts set analysis#isaac marion#THEY REALLY DID ME LIKE THAT HUH
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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for no reason in particular, i am once again saying that even if the work you're doing is with a content creator you love and on a project you're all passionate about and you trust everyone involved and they would never, say, ghost everyone involved for months leaving you in legal limbo in regards to the ip you've spent the past three years of your life on while everyone is clamoring for a statement or any guidance at all from you...
you should write a fucking contract.
and if someone tells you "we don't need contracts it'll be better that way", run the other direction.
you know. for no reason in particular.
#iskall#this is not me blaming the vh devs for the record this kind of bullshit can Just Happen#and it was iskall's job as the employer/commissioner here to do that in many cases not the devs#if anything it looks like the devs DID try to write a fucking contract. i respect them for this#but. boy howdy. write a contract. ESPECIALLY with ip. ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY with ip as thorny as software dev work.#this has also been my psa for artists as always.#the fact iskall doesn't seem to have written many contracts REALLY MAKES HIM COME ACROSS AS A BAD BOSS HUH.#you know. amongst all the other far more severe reasons he was a bad boss.
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Happy (late) new year everyone!
I hope 2025 is a bit more productive than the last
#le ocs#my art#doodle#really late obligatory new year post#I never change huh#/checks last login#tho I donât think no one was expecting something from me so itâs fine#this thing only makes sense if you check when was the last time I posted btw#I was so ready to just give up this was suppose to be a quick thing but I just kept changing stuff until I like it#but I never did! cursed cursed little try-of-a-comic-thing#but I wasnât gonna wait another year just for the bit so have it#I keep yapping when I did that enough in the original post sorry good night
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Something that I've noticed ever since the Smiling Critters were introduced is that they can so easily be paired off into complementary duos, ones that are specifically designed to teach children fundamental lessons about life and self-care from two different angles. It's really interesting to me.
Like obviously you have Dogday and Catnap, with their sun/moon, dog/cat dichotomy, that stress how important it is to have fun and get things done during the day, but also that it's important to wind down, relax, and get a good night's sleep.
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Bubba Bubbaphant and Craftycorn were introduced as a duo in the Smiling Critter show's intro, and their dichotomy is quite obvious. They are basically the right and left sides of the brain personified. Bubba is the left side of the brain, logical, analytical, focused on math and science. Craftycorn is the right side of the brain, creative and imaginative, focused on the arts and self-expression. They represent learning and academia in all its forms, the different ways people engage with and understand the world.
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Hoppy Hopscotch and Kickin' Chicken form the sportsmanship duo. They are both portrayed as enjoying sports and the outdoors, but in different ways that highlight the different ways sports can be played and enjoyed and also what it entails to be successful at them. Hoppy Hopscotch may be loud and impatient, but she is also a team player, shown in her willingness to slow down her fast pace to make sure none of her friends are left behind. Kickin' Chicken, on the other hand, is laid-back, relaxed, and chill, the described "cool kid" of the group, but he's also described as having a ton of perseverance, more of a "slow and steady wins the race" type of person.
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This leaves Bobby Bearhug and Picky Piggy as the last pair. Fittingly, these two are all about how to meet the fundamental needs of yourself and others. Bobby teaches children how to nourish themselves emotionally through showing and receiving care from others, while Picky teaches them how good food is important to nourish the body and soul. Depriving oneself of either of these things only makes oneself and therefore everyone around one miserable, because those fundamental needs are no longer being met.
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Like fr, this is some pretty genius marketing right here. You have enough characters that every kid will have their favorite, but not so many that any would get lost in the shuffle, because the lessons each one of them would teach would be integral to the group as a whole. It really makes me that much sadder we saw basically nothing of the Smiling Critters during the game itself, because Mob Games struck gold with this concept, only to ultimately do nothing with it. :/
But I guess that's what fandom is for, eh?
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter 3#smiling critters#dogday#catnap#picky piggy#kickin chicken#hoppy hopscotch#bobby bearhug#craftycorn#bubba bubbaphant#xi writes#tbh that 'slow and steady wins the race' comment makes me really wish Kickin' Chicken was a turtle instead#just to drive home that parallel even further#ngl i've been thinking about making this post for ages but i finally got off my butt and did it#me holding the Smiling Critters like Marge Simpson holding a potato: I just think they're neat!#it'd be a shame if the game company that came up with them never DID anything with them HUH MOB GAMES?#mob games don't walk away from me#MOB GAMES GET BACK HERE I HAVE THOUGHTS-
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what she says: yea iâm fine
what sheâs thinking: the story brought both carpenter and faulkner to their inevitable end points that have been foreshadowed from the v first episode of the show ambiguity of carpenters death aside she stood on the banks of the river singing like her nana glass and was gunned down by the military and faulkner was drowned dragged delivered by the god and story he had let devour him but. but. before those things happened right before the narrative reached its end both of them stood up and said no! i want to go forward! i want to find something past this whatever it might be i donât want it to take me yet im going to keep on walking! and it was too late! the thing is it was too fucking late!!!!!!! the aquifer was already flooding the soldiers were closing in she was to hurt to run he canât swim. the chance had come and gone at the beginning of the episode for any hope of them reaching each other ever again but even though it was too little too late never ever going to be enough they both looked the site of their doom in the eyes and said i do not accept this. not here. not now. i am staring at youâ the thing that will eat me â and resolving to pry open the jaws and choose to use the last moments of my life (whether i know it or not) to run and stumble and crawl and cry and sing in the hopes of reaching the people who matter to me more than being made your meal. and of course they got fucking eaten anyways. of course they did bc they were walking towards it from the beginning. but there is a way out, there is a way forward, there is a land beyond the storm that is possible to reach if you choose to step out of the story that has been built for you to find it. we walk on, with a rough and tarnished hope, and a tangled, ruined love. it can end with love, and it can end with kindness. even as the jaws are closing. ours is a world of miracles.
#unrelated but i fucking knew he was blond i knew it from episode one. vindication.#is this anything. i donât know if this is anything. i just have a lot of feelings okay.#this might be too much of an optimistic read re both of their last moments but i think the themes are very much there#and baked into the finale. none of them wanted to be eaten man.#also schrĂśdingers carpenter and faulkner realizing she was right and going after her at THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND#are two narrative choices that are going to haunt me until the end of time. like holy shit they really did that huh.#*stares in podcast rambling*#tsv#the silt verses#tsv s3#the silt verses season 3#tsv spoilers#the silt verses spoilers
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â¨Morning Routineâ¨
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The boys had a sleepover and woke up â¨beautiful⨠â¨flawless⨠and â¨gorgeousâ¨
#I really have no idea what my inspiration was for this drawingâŚit just came to me#also if the ch character designers wanted Topher to be ugly why did they give him beautiful long flowing hair HUH#it wasnât intentional but jfk looks like heâs channeling his inner ponce here lmao#also buff Confucius still scares me and keeps me up at night why is he like that#clone high#my art#fanart#clone high fanart#clone high jfk#clone high confucius#clone high abe#clone high topher#topher bus#roxiâs art
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everyone look at this fish i had to draw for my illustration class. for a grade. i am going to get a good grade in therapy salmon, something which is both normal to w
#just did the calculation and this class costs me 8k a semester. btw. money well spent#new york times hire me to do your spot illustrations since i am clearly so fucking good at it. god i hate editorial assigments#skribbles#the worst part is i KNOW im going to go into crit and people r going to be like umm therapy salmon doesnt really fit the vibe of the articl#OK SHUT THE FUCK UP. MAYBE I LIKE DRAWING FISH HAVING MENTAL BREAKDOWNS. HUH. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT
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"dude its not that embarassing to rewatch some creepypasta stuff you liked as a teenager" the character i imprinted on like a baby duck at 16 was a demon from new jersey that acts like the humanization of every offspring song and canonically listens to scissor sisters. His favorite color is purple and his favorite pokemon are gengar and haunter. His favorite candy is reeses cups. He leaves people notes with emojis on them. He acts like a beetlejuice scare actor at halloween horror nights. His catchphrase is "feeling sassy?" Hes (allegedly) worked with every war criminal throughout history and been every serial killer. even the gay ones. ďżźHe ate a baby. His animal motif is a rabbit. Hes kind of based off the donnie darko rabbit. He almost exclusively wears merchandise of the quentin tarantino movie death proof. He talks to his cats in a baby voice. He wears a white fedora that makes every video he wears it in feel dated by like 7 years. Hes 5'3. Sometimes he barks like a dog. Hes from new jersey. He hacked a girls tumblr blog so he could post about how awesome he is. He added a laugh track over a video of him killing people. He named a chainsaw rex. ďżźHe torments people by playing frank sinatra at them. His name comes from an animal collective song. His creator drew his "true form" as a giant buff wolf bug anthro. Theres a (semi)canon blog entry where he makes the speakers blare rob zombie before he enters a room, then holds a guy at gunpoint to describe what he did to to him while "making sure to leave in all the cool parts". The guy hes possessing has radioactive blood. He tried for 2 whole minutes to pick up a bottle of ketchup with a grabby hand. Hes kind of suicidal.ďżźHe can be reasonably compared to pretty much every major tumblr sexyman. His actor has gone on record saying heath ledgers joker inspired his acting choices. His creators were too attached to him to permanently kill him at the end of the series. Sometimes his voice gets distorted and it makes him sound like bill ciphers first year on HRT. Hes basically like my artistic muse. For some fucking reason i associate the song cake by the ocean with him. I firmly believe that if everymanhybrid didn't require a masters degree in creepypasta autism to comprehend, he would've caused more teenage stabbings than the slenderman incident and more kin war tumblr scenarios than nagito komaeda.
#slenderverse#everymanhybrid#emh#speakeasies#emh habit#habit everymanhybrid#habit emh#and the problem is that every new fan of the series is like#teenagers who like columbine#so i cant even make friends in those circles#because im fucking 24#like im almost ten years older than some of u omfg???#so#he IS that embarassing and thank GOD emh is niche#okay so#he is embarassing but emh is not embarassing it is not cringe its oomf#emh is genuinley one of the coolest found footage diy low budget horrors ive ever seen#genuinely would love to make found footage bc of the impact it had on me#anyway i really did imprint on him like a babyduck#i was a baby trans guy that didnt know it yet rewatching the :D video with absolutely nobody to talk about it with#like huh hope that doesn't affect me in the future :)#it did#spoiler 17 yo me thats why you watched :D three times in secret#it's not because you're trans. It's because you're a sicko#Despite it all hes essentially my artistic muse.
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Lackadaisy Enrichment
#in our enclosures!!#video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right#lackadaisy#WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic#like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet.#the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me#like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but.#good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort???#and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it..#if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also#juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story#and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like#take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol#namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other#which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky#have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the#comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another....#For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's#historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol#like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret...#Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery#which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah#anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots#sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps#and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill#and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have#you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas#SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later
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mommy let you use her ipad, you were barely two
and it did all the things we designed it to do
now look at you, look at you!
(objectober 2024 day 10: internet)
#dandy's doodles#inanimate insanity#ii#ii steve cobs#ii mephone#ii spoilers#ii 16 spoilers#objectober#objectober 2024#okay i'll be honest. the final drawing barely fits the prompt#however! it was inspired by it#'internet' immediately made me think of 'welcome to the internet' by bo burnham#and my mind instantly jumped to 'and it did all the things we designed it to do'#and y'know... steve cobs designed mephone to be able to create things#and so in a way mephone is fulfilling his purpose by creating the contestants#he's fulfilling his purpose by doing what his dad did#and then that made me think of the garden of eden story#where god creates both adam and the tree of knowledge#he tells adam not to eat its fruit and yet adam inevitably does; thus adam gains free will#and one has to wonder if that was god's intention all along - for humans to have free will#whereby adam - through the apparent defiance of god - is able to become exactly what he was created for#and y'know... mephone making his show as a rebellion against cobs...#only for that very show to be a creation borne of his intended purpose#so yeah. my mind jumped from bo burnham to the biblical creation of man#anyway!! very very happy with how this turned out#my favorite part is the charger snakes. i'm so glad i came up with that idea#also cobs' arm! that turned out really well! i referenced my own hand for his!!#in any event... it turns out i really really like biblical imagery and symbolism huh#also yes i did stay up all night like a maniac drawing this. the idea came to me and i just had to see it through :D i'm glad i did
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haunting the narrative -> haunted by the narrative -> haunting the narrative -> haunted by
#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#fan art#fanart#art#digital art#my art#just a lil something something i did for fun#adventure time has always been the show that makes me want to draw (i have SO many AT drawings from 2015 it's ridiculous)#but now I'm coming back to that ye olde passion with new digital art skills and many more evil tragic thoughts (thank you fionna and cakeđ)#i couldn't get the thought about them haunting and be haunted by the narrative out of my head so I had to make some art for it#the caption for this was almost: so who wears the haunted by the narrative in the relationship?#they take turns of course because damn these guys really do be having that tragic romance huh. hot potato cursed existence#never quite on the same wavelength. always out of reach. their love the very thing that dooms them to be apart. a love defined by absences#like two ships in the night passing each other by. except they keep trying to seek the other out. and so end up going in circles#the tragic dance of madness and sadness. lead on and i shall follow. ....so anyway...these two amiright?#/might/ have to write something at some point...maybe...#because like... ghosts are my thing. and these two...well. even when they aren't haunting the narrative they are still ghosts#never let themselves live in the present and okay I'm going to stop now. enjoy the art byeeeee#...AND they'll never be at peace because they'll always be reaching for a version of each other that no longer exists andâ#(i am dragged kicking and screaming from the room before i can devolve into a full blown meta)
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just had the thought 'in the end the most important thing varric taught rook was how to make a home for, with, and in other people' and then I had to go lie down on the floor and clutch at my head in unceasing agony for a few hours, as you may well imagine. hawke and the kirkwall crew........ in the end you kind of saved the world a bit in the most characteristically indirect and chaotic of ways. not by anything in particular that you did or achieved or accomplished (lmao imagine!), but just by -- having existed, and by the love that was always there, despite it all, in all its imperfections, even when no one was saved by it in the end. you're not here right now and you're not quite haunting the narrative but I hear your voices bickering and arguing and laughing from the other room. (and so, I think, does varric. all the time.)
'did you think you mattered, hawke? did you think anything you ever did mattered?' yeah actually, varric says with da2 and keeps saying through the series. you were here. and I loved you. and as it turns out that mattered more than almost anything in the world, no matter how long it lasted or how fucked up it was at the time or what else happens, because varric manages to pass that feeling, that intangible... home, that echo of you all as you were together, that love, hopefully the best parts of it, on to someone else for them to bring with them on their journey, with their family. and maybe the world will be kinder this time. you never know. merrill's line of 'Everything affects everything. We were born, a bunch of things happened, and now we're in a mess with our friends.' varric's greatest fear of becoming his parents. even through the wreck and the ruin of the world, ghosts upon ghosts upon ghosts of love -- malcolm hawke, who we never even see, but his life touched hawke's and hawke's touched varric's and varric's touched rook's and rook is passing it on to the family they're creating. the unbroken legacy of love shines through in ways that are stronger and stranger than any magic. help
#I woke up. I opened my eyes. this insight hit me over the head like the fist of god. what the fuck. what the FUCK#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#hawke#varric tethras#dragon age 2#dragon age meta#let me live please I've barely reached consciousness I can't deal with this#the kirkwall gang.#what if they were secretly the most important people who ever existed. just because they existed. and for the love that was there#yeah you know what? that's not the worst legacy in the world is it.#da:tv really is da2 2 in some key ways. to me. one of the most da2 lovers or all time#also extremely da2 and also varric core for varric to adopt a kid (as a full adult) completely alone with hawke possibly dead#and STILL somehow manage to make it a varrichawke lovechild on some level. not romantic not platonic but something even more insane#every day varric is unbearably intimate with hawke through the narrative in ways he simply Cannot be with anyone in real life#(in ways you perhaps Should not be in real life. also. lol)#he keeps moving on no matter what b/c that's what you do. but I think varric's real home isn't even kirkwall or a place at all#it's a time. and that time is da2. or at least the story of da2 that he tells himself.#also also what about them themes around parenthood huh. I think varric in the end at least did not become his parents. thank god#trauma gets passed down. but so do other things and you have choices about what you want to leave behind#for those who come after you.#*tears streaming down my face* guess I have to go make breakfast and pretend everything is normal then. sick and twisted
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothersâ.
And Iâm not talking about height! Iâm specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, itâs very clear that Leoâs carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leoâs does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but itâs also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#itâs like 4 am and Iâm having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but itâs always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leoâs depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasnât on purpose but damn if it doesnât help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I donât super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boysâ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails arenât really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsuâs dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? butâŚyouâre not colorfulâŚâŚ#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leoâs chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and thereâs no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo howâs the weather down there#and Leoâs all like good *sits down* why donât you join me :)#Donnie: âŚ*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it âmaking use of his speciesâs advantagesâ#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so itâs very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raphâs size makes a LOT of sense
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wondering if we're gonna have stan learning the lesson ford learnt in tbob since it's made clear that stan is still hiding so much...
#like ford's tbob coda really was direct setup for the wheel of shame and the bill poem huh#ford: finally talking about my secrets made me feel so much better!#stan: hell yeah! ....i'm not gonna do that though.#i can't get over how the website suddenly dropped that stan was sexually coerced on at least two separate occasions#and folks talked about the funeral but there's the whole thing of him faking his death cos tons of people wanted him dead#the car trunk incident is talked about a lot but how many other times did he nearly die....#post tbob ford would be way more open about talking about his time in the portal and what he went through before the portal incident#but what would stan be comfortable talking about in turn....#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#the contrast of ford's j3 coda being him taking stan's 'growing old doesn't mean growing up' to heart.....
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justin đđđ my babyyy
#the way i would have legit melted down at this đ#public speaking is my worst fear#i can literally see justin having a mini anxiety attack up there đđđ#in my mind he's staring directly at ja'marr and joe BEGGING for help#so many thoughts on how the original lsu trio all have their shy introverted sides (and probably all prefer to stay like that)#but developed an outgoing socializing mask at lsu with the other two#because forcing yourself to be uncomfortable is part of growing up and isn't that what they did at lsu? grow up together?#joe's very obviously introverted and i've talked a lot about how meeting justin at lsu brought ja'marr out of his shell#bu i also think justin has that same quiet side#like he did an interview after his extension where he was like 'i like being alone and at home and that's why minny's perfect for me'#which doesn't fit what a lot of people think when they think of justin jefferson#we talk so much about perfect pr-trained justin but how much does that take a toll on him?#i'm sure he does adore being the center of attention wherever he goes - but it must get exhausting sometimes huh#and he CONSANTLY talks about how he has two masks: justin (himself) and jets (jets being the flashy confident wr1 on the field)#(ok my headcanon that ja'marr gave justin the 'jets' nickname makes this just đ)#he does like being that charismatic guy that laughs off mistakes on the prompter -but that's not who justin really is#never forget that justin was a two star recruit all scrawny with horrible grades before coming to lsu#like -i think justin brought ja'marr out of his shell but i also think ja'marr also gave justin more confidence#and he's blossomed into the guy who's constantly decked out in jewelry and isn't afraid to wear this amazing glittery suit#isn't that so beautiful? changing someone and being changed by that same someone in return?#lmao just realized i wrote a whole essay analyzing justin#disclaimer that i don't actually know these men lmao#justin jefferson
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