#THERES ONLY SO MUCH MY MIND AND SPIRIT CAN TAKE

[quick-catton]

I HAVE JUST WOKEN UP. ITS SO OVER.

[gaoau]

would rather kms than make my only winbre post be about Suo's stupid ass, so it's time to talk about Nirei cause i love him. i read a post and my blood started boiling i dont fuck around so now i gotta defend him with my life. also cause im sick and tired of him not being deemed marketable enough to be included in merch and collab illusts when he's a whole—if not the most important—third of the main trio. (theres something to be said about Tsugeura too, considering they don't use him but love using Kiryuu, but that's a different conversation.)

anyway, on Nirei and the exceptionality of being ordinary.

manga spoilers btw also disclaimer im not eloquent at all i just say things.

there's something about Nirei that just simply isn't special and i think that's wonderful. not in a mean-spirited sense; Nirei is the most regular out of anyone in Furin, so much so that he had to buy an ugly shirt he didn't even like to stand out. he's just a kid with a notebook and a simple backstory trying to follow a hero's example. he's nothing extraordinary, especially seeing the people he's surrounded by. physically, he's very limited, which he knows and doesn't ignore at all, so he can't do much in fights. no one is more acutely aware of his own limits than Nirei. i was reading the first couple chapters again and it breaks my heart to hear his efforts be dismissed as "playing hero," because Nirei is the biggest hero in this whole manga.

it's true, yeah, he can't fight. he's more like another average citizen of Makochi than he is a Bofurin member sometimes. he lacks fighting abilities, his diplomacy isn't particularly the best, and he's two seconds away from going into cardiac arrest at almost all times. but it's not like he gives a shit. every single time he gets beaten into the ground, he picks himself back up immediately. he takes hit after hit, time and time again, because no matter how battered or defenseless he is, his drive to stay and protect the town is ridiculously strong. he does go down when he can't take any more (keel), but it's with improvement and training that he manages to throw his first—albeit useless—punch (noroshi or whatever this arc is called idk). improvement that, mind you, comes from recognizing his own limitations.

some have called him reckless (Suo), but i disagree, because Nirei is right. i know the kids would rather look out for him and have him uninjured by the end of a scuffle, but he doesn't need to be coddled. everybody else jumps into a brawl and gets a broken nose regardless of their fighting skills. Nirei isn't any different. he knows he's limited, he knows he can't fight, he knows he's nothing special. he risks it all anyway, because even though he wasn't built for fighting, he's more than prepared to try over and over again until his efforts are enough to make a difference. he's looked at Sakura's back and thought he couldn't match him, that Sakura gets back up even when he's almost fully tapped out, that he's not needed because Sakura's stronger and will be okay without him.

maybe he's right about this, too. i'm inclined to disagree, but i understand where he's coming from. Nirei chases, Nirei can't stop running because he'll fall behind all these phenomenal beasts that can hold their own. i'm so glad the conclusion he reached was "okay, i gotta step up my game," but i'm not really surprised. this is Nirei Akihiko we're talking about and, i think Suo put it best, he wants to become stronger more than anybody.

he's been at a disadvantage this whole time, "playing hero" rather than being an "actual" hero, but he has a goal. if he has to tear himself apart to stand next to Sakura, he will. he doesn't have to, of course, he's already more than useful the way he is, but when you're so ordinary that you get lost in the crowd, standing beside someone so exemplary makes you want more.

honestly, Nirei's fucking wild. lil bro's actually crazy. we've seen characters go apeshit, but no one in this entire manga is nearly as insane as he is. i appreciate Suo telling him to slow down and chill out, cause he was fully intending to kill himself learning how to fight with zero foundation. my guy was more than ready to actually fight Endo. he meant that. it's a good thing he's properly learning how to defend himself, considering he probably lacks the muscle to go on the offense. those are his limits and he knows that. it frustrates him, but it definitely does little to stop him, because look how big his back is. i hope somebody tells him, after all of this is over, that he's doing more than enough, more than great.

to be fair, fighting isn't even where he shines, and that's okay. he's not strong enough to beat anyone's ass and he doesn't need to be, either. he doesn't need to be a leader like Sakura or a devotee like Sugishita or mimic whatever the fuck Suo's got going on. in the words of my favorite pink curse, the real heroes are the ones who support from the back, and that's exactly what Nirei does. he's said it himself, he wants to guide Sakura all the way to the top and he can, because he thrives in being another citizen of Makochi. he's a regular person and i think that's what makes him so compelling and important.

there's something so fascinating about his simplicity. he really is nothing more than just an ordinary kid. put him in a normal high-school classroom and he'll pass his midterms with a 75. he recognizes what he's good at, of course, he knows the town inside out and it's very useful, especially to Sakura. he's amazing support. it really doesn't seem like it and people love to completely dismiss him, but i wanna be outrageous and call him the backbone of these kids. he was Sakura's first friend and he continues to be the one pushing and prodding to make sure he stands back up every single time. he's more necessary than anyone gives him credit for. i have no doubt in my mind that, if it weren't for him, Sakura wouldn't be able to do half the things he's managing. even Suo, who's out here acting like he knows the secrets of the universe, has to stop and reorganize his ideas when Nirei talks.

if Suo is the heart (debatable, but okay, whatever bro says) and brain, i'd like to think Nirei is the spirit and the soul. there's no chance the kids would work so smoothly without Nirei around—which, yes, arguably the same could be said of all of them, but i've seen Nirei be dismissed as a Zenitsu looking ass gag character and i've never had to hold back a kys so hard. idk for sure what the general consensus on him is cause i've only ever seen him used in the context of ships and never on his own, which honestly makes me a little sad. especially after seeing the popularity poll cause he didn't even make it into the top 5 with not even 1k points personal offense tbh i need a word with the voters. what i've gathered is that aint nobody gaf about his ass im devastated Suo has to fuck off (13k votes is crazy gang come on). which i don't understand. take him out of the equation and everything falls apart. Sakura's the sword, Suo's the strategy, and Nirei is the ambition, the desire, the force, the feelings.

there's much to be said about how he's treated, not only in-universe, but also by the people consuming the media and the pr team. i don't fuck with shipping, but when i'm scrolling through my timeline, Nirei only exists in the context of somebody's favorite ship. and don't fucking get me started on the mischaracterization. look me in the eye and tell me Nirei doesn't have more conviction than any of these dumbass kids. yes, he gets scared and he's fucking horrified most of the time, but motherfucker he's fighting. he's out there in the frontlines, making himself useful, biting more than he can chew and then some. i dare you to treat him like wittle baby that needs protection.

if not for his uniqueness, look at him for his regularity, because i find it endearingly wonderful. i think there's something so special about the ordinary. he deserves a lot more than what he's getting so these mfs better put him in all collab illusts cause if i have to see Kaji in his place one more time i will personally book a flight. okay thank you thats all i promise ill never come back here have day.

[the-lonelyshepherd]

what’s your opinion on the travlottienat s2 sex scene

hi! um category five autism event and i got way too serious about this. however its not my problem.

oookay SO first off obligatory i am a minor BUT we are analyzing this from a narrative/plot perspective and not in a sexual way. theres naked people in art its fine. I think this scene is fascinating from like. not a shipping perspective but a character based one. it shows a lot about travis and it also shows a lot about lottienat (mostly talking abt the character combo and less the ship) and also jackie. yeah, jackie.

Madonna della Pietà, Michaelangelo

To start - even w how it looks, this is a Lottienat scene. Not even from a shipping perspective but because this scene SHOWCASES their "rivalry", the contrast in their characters and how they are perceived to the rest of the team (w Travis as a stand in for the team). It shows how they're both very present figures in the whole yellow jackets situation (shown through travis but can apply to all of them imo). Nat is there with travis. shes physical, shes providing. But lottie is also there spiritually, and against the norm, leading whats going on.

Nat as the physical

lottie as the spiritual.

so despite the fact that natalie is physically there, travis cant (probably physically cant as hallucinations are NOT voluntary) take his mind off lottie. because she can give him something, in his mind, that nat cant. Shes almost an escape - nat is the harsh reality hes living while lottie is the voice that brings him hope that his brother is alive. lottie is someone who can lead in a way that he wants to make sense. and its an idealized version of her in his mind, probably stemming from his issues w authority figures like his dad and the built up version of masculinity in his mind.

And this scene also emphasizes Nat’s role in the Javi situation. Because of this:

The wound on her leg where she faked Javi’s death so that Travis would stop his self-destructive search for his brother, who by all means should have been dead. Why? Because who is Nat but a realist? She’s gotten everything from life thrown at her and came out of it with that attitude, and who can blame her?

But this scene is right after she brings Travis forged proof that his brother is dead. Her guilt is present through this scene, and showing the wound is to emphasize that. layers!!! but travis has a lot of guilt throughout this scene as well - not only because of the supposed death of his younger brother that he as the older sibling feels at fault for but also… the jackie situation.

The Jacke of it all:

yeah this is a jackie scene. not only is it right before when they FUCKING EAT HER but like in spirit as well. Okay so the thing is that jackie is the character who puts the most emphasis on virginity, we all know this, but in the end it's travis that gets the "first time" that she puts so much emphasis on. Yes, jackie and travis lose their virginities to each other, but in this scene travis checks off doing it with his actual girlfriend. That, and he does almost the same thing jackie did with jeff. She looks to shauna's photo, travis thinks of lottie. They have to be outside of their bodies to perform because both of them have hangups (for one reason or another).

It's not that Travis doesn't want to have sex like jackie with jeff, he clearly tries, but he can't do it while thinking very clearly. First by being drugged, then by imagining himself doing something unrelated. And they would've been happier if they hadn't done it - jackie is immediately shunned for it. If you think about it, she literally dies for it. Travis feels like he cheated and did something wrong despite being drugged out of his mind and having no real control over the situation (something jackie didnt know). and then IMMEDIETLY after this scene, there’s the Jackie feast. Not only is she everywhere symbliocally, shes also physically in them now. THE JACKIE OF IT ALLLLL

The Pietà

The Pietà is a reference to the 6th sorrow of mary. for all you guys who arent christian/catholic →

The Seven Sorrows of Mary are seven significant moments in her life:

Simeon's prophecy of joy and sorrow.

The flight to Egypt to escape King Herod.

Finding Jesus in the temple after being lost.

Mary meeting Jesus on his way to crucifixion.

Witnessing Jesus' crucifixion and death.

Holding Jesus' body after his crucifixion.

Jesus' burial, which Mary mourns.

To clear things up here - lottie as mary in this context is not a “maternal” as in motherly way - imo its supposed to be peace and hope, guidance/authority. travis, despite being famous for his daddy issues, is hinted at having mommy issues as well (see: him not getting hugged goodbye by his mom in the pilot while his dad and javi both do)

also, he clearly struggles a lot w masculinity - having a woman in authority doesnt come naturally to him, but in this moment it is his only comfort.

so in the wilderness, there’s a complete power shift from the outside world. in this isolated environment there’s a female majority - specifically, the team, who already (roughly….. it gets messy but ykwim) trust and know each other. they already have a, albeit shifting, power dynamic established. in the normal, precrash, world, it would be isolated to them. but post crash, they are now the majority and the three guys left standing are now forced to assimilate into that instead.

Ben had power - he was one of their coaches and an adult - but with the death of coach martinez, he loses a lot of power 1) because he’s only an assistant 2) hes outnumbered 3) he doesnt want to be in charge of these insane girls anymore. he just wants gay daydreams. let him live.

Then there’s Javi - he’s younger, and none of the girls really know him, but they’re generally nice to him. he cant contribute much though - and eventually he has to contribute all he has - his literal flesh.

Finally travis - arguably the most involved as he is the same age as the team. this puts him on their field as “involved”. He originally has this very built up view of masculinity that you can tell stems from a place of self consciousness/ self loathing as well as a buildup of society’s expectations on him as a teenage boy in the 90’s. He’s supposed to be tough, hes supposed to be in charge, hes supposed to be better. And when hes thrown into this female dominated space it completely falls apart. He’s not the best shooter, he doesn’t have authority or leadership. The only other older male figures are dead or have tried their best to remove themselves from the situation. He has to completely reevaluate everything he knows - Travis has come to learn that there is power in being near and simply being an approximation of femininity.

Travis has come to learn that there is power in being near and simply being an approximation of femininity. Travis has gone from the top (he was never really there, but the built up idea of masculinity put him there in his mind, though even then he had doubts and it came from a negative place) and to bottom of the totem pole - and now he’s rising back up to somewhere in the middle by connecting with femininity, by recognizing women in authority, and also trying to have that hope and spiritual belief that is brought about by these female figures. The middle is where travis can reconcile with the weirder things (ive been in discussions about how travis actually parodies a lot of classic feminine tropes) that clash with what travis should be.

overall this scene is fucking insane. its lottienat its travnat its mommy issues its daddy issues its deadass jackie its an older brothers guilt its religious its a sin its deconstructing the very nature of yourself and those around you. all through the power of weird sex hallucination. and eating someone right after.

if youre still here i love you. please send me yellowjackets discussion asks i love them so much <3 feel free to ask questions and shit, also if none of this makes sense im sorry lmao.

ALSO. special thanks to @periwinklekryptonite who like carried this discussion and came up with like half of tjis. ask him about trans travis or travis in general or maybe pike. shoooo go send him travis questions.

[cartmankisser]

iJUST NOTICED YUO ALSO WROTE FOR SAIKI K UHHHHHHHHH IF YOU DONT DO MULTIPLE FANDOMS IN ONE REQ THATS FINE JSUT DO SAIKI BUT CAN I GET NARRATOR TSP AND SAIKI WITH AN S/O WHO INSTEAD OF ACTUAL THOUGHTS THERES CONSTANT MUSIC THAT CHANGES DEPENDING ON THEIR MOOD IVE HAD TGHIS IDEA FOR SO LOGN OMG UHHH DO WHATEVR U WANN A DO !!!!!! AAA

IM ONLY GONNA DO SAIKI FOR THIS ONE SORRY u can totally 100% request this exactly the same for the narrator because i'll probably forget about it unless it's in my inbox 😅

also i want sure if you meant like instrumental game/theme type of music or like actual songs so i tried to keep it kind of vague

at first, saiki just thought you were,,,, well,,,, dumb.. the only other person he knows that doesn't have thoughts for him to read is nendou, so you can't really blame him for assuming you were just as brainless as he is. because of that assumption he had though, he tended to avoid you as much as he could, simply out of fear and annoyance of your possible nonsense. you'd definitely have to make the first move.

it genuinely shocks him when you speak intelligible words. he was so prepared to listen to you spew out nonsense that he had to take a second to truly process what you were saying. at first, it was quite hard for him to focus on your words with the incessant bubbly music you seemed to keep on loop inside your head, but once you two got closer to eachother, even starting a relationship, he learned to just tune it out.

it wasn't until one day when you weren't quite acting like yourself that he noticed the absence of your usual happy tune and the low-spirited melody that replaced it. it really took him a moment to connect the dots.. i mean, he's so used to being able to look into peoples minds for answers!! but when he finally realized that you were upset omg??

it honestly blew his mind that the music actually had some sort of meaning and wasn't just a weird fault you had

[siyooungi]

HELLO MY FAV WRITER!! ive miss u sm!! HSJAHSGS i act have a request!! hmmm ot5 lesserafim x reader,,where reader is a student and she just recently started college. they knew how reader take their education seriously LIKEEE VERYYY SERIOUSLY cause theyve seen reader being burnout n overworking n all while she were in hs. then theres this day/ week,they saw reader waking up at 3am or sum just to study and stressing and shi😭 barely sleeping at all..if you cant do ot5,,it can be sakura/chaewon !! thank you so much my fav person <33

A/N: i hope this is up to your liking because i really didn’t know what to do!?/$:! BUT you are so sweet, ily and i take great honor in being one of your faves!! <33

Pairing: OT5 X Fem!Reader

Group: Le Sserafim

Warning(s): None!

You recently embarked on your college journey and initially, you were excited, but that changed rather quickly when you became adapted. You were already well aware of the tough workload that was going to be thrown your way, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary for you. Would you consider yourself a dedicated and ambitious student? Yeah, that would be most fitting. You took your education very seriously.

The girls had witnessed firsthand how seriously you took your education. You often pushed yourself to the brink of exhaustion during your high school years, and they had seen the toll it took on you, as burnout and overworking became all too familiar.

Though, you’ve always had such a great support system because of them. The girls were determined to support you in any way they could. They literally formed an unbreakable pact without you knowing. The five girls vowed to be there for you, providing comfort, solace, and a much-needed distraction from your studies whenever you needed it most.

On a particular day, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the world around them fell into a peaceful slumber, Sakura being the only presumed one awake at the time, noticed something amiss. She walked past your room to go to the bathroom, but retracted her steps when she heard faint music coming from your room. She quietly opened your door, the sound falling on deaf ears as you were entirely fixated on your books and notes.

You were awake at an ungodly hour, your face etched with stress and fatigue. The sight struck a chord deep within her heart, and she knew they needed to intervene. The very next day, she told all of the girls and they were more than ready to take action the next time they caught you, which they knew would be relatively soon.

On that same day, with a shared determination, the girls stealthily gathered their resources, concocting a plan to put an end to your late-night study sessions. They wanted to remind you of the importance of self-care and that they would always be there for you.

As the clock struck 3 am, the group of girls made their way to Kazuha’s room, where they ordered you to stay when you got back to the dorm. You tried questioning them, but they didn’t leave any room for that and ushered you into her room. Sighing, you brought all the stuff you needed for studying that night, into the room. Eunchae was the one to creak the door open, allowing them to peek in. Like the night before, you were nearly falling asleep as you continued to go over the material.

Sakura, being the first to catch you in this state, took charge. She had prepared meticulously crafted flashcards and notes that would not only make studying easier for you but also inject an element of fun into the process. Each note was laced with encouraging messages and colorful illustrations, designed to uplift your spirits.

Meanwhile, Chaewon and Yunjin busied themselves in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. They knew that a well-fed mind would thrive, so they prepared cuisine meant just for you. Delicious aromas wafted through the air as they whipped up your favorite dishes, carefully arranging them on a beautifully decorated tray. Though, there were moments where Chaewon occasionally scolded Yunjin for messing around and eating some of the ingredients, of course. Next time the younger girl tried to get a bite, she quickly swatted her hand away.

Kazuha and Eunchae, the mischievous duo, had a different plan in mind. While you were on campus, they took your mountain of homework and assignments, determined to alleviate your burden. Thankfully, you didn’t bring them with you and instead, only a notebook for your notes. They were set to work, meticulously completing your tasks with precision and care. Some assignments were required to be done on a laptop and they nearly panicked trying to guess your password.

Luckily, they were dealing with a forgetful person who happened to write her password on a sticky note. Kazuha pointed to the note on the desk once she spotted it, causing Eunchae to sigh out of relief. They both erupted into a fit of laughter once they realized you left it out in the open and they were panicking for nothing. Although, they cut it really close to when you came back to the dorm, scrambling to leave your room how it was and as if nothing was out of place.

They walked past you, doing their best not to act suspicious, but you felt that something was off and squinted your eyes at them. Shrugging, you continued your path to your room. Once you were out of sight and they heard the door close, they giggled and fist bumped before going their separate ways.

As the girls executed their plan with utmost devotion, they finally unveiled their surprise to you. They had taken you from Kazuha’s room without any protests. You were beyond tired and just chose your rest your head on Sakura’s shoulder as she and the others guided you back to your room. You had no energy to question theme

Opening your bedroom door, you were met with a scene straight out of a fairy tale. Soft music played in the background, the room adorned with twinkling fairy lights, and the intoxicating aroma of your favorite scent coming from candles.

Overwhelmed with emotions, your eyes welled up with tears of gratitude. Your friends, your pillars of support, had transformed your ordinary night into a magical one. They had gone above and beyond, pampering you like a princess and showing their unwavering love and care.

Sakura handed you the thoughtfully prepared flashcards, encouraging you to take breaks and enjoy the journey of learning. Chaewon and Yunjin presented you with one of your favorite dishes, urging her to savor each bite and nourish your body and soul. Of course, they put the others in the fridge. Kazuha and Eunchae revealed the completed assignments, relieving you of the heavy weight that had burdened you.

Not knowing what else to do, you brought them in for a group hug, mumbling and repeating a ‘thank you’ into Sakura’s shoulder, considering she was the first to accept the hug before the others quickly joined.

From that night forward, you experienced a newfound balance in her life. You continued to excel academically, driven by your passion and support from your friends. But you also learned the importance of self-care, knowing that your mental and emotional well-being were just as crucial as your academic pursuits.

With that being said, would you still occasionally drive yourself to the brink of insanity dealing with the stress that was awaiting you for the rest of your college years? Yes, yes you would.

[hegoeshardasfuck]

dirty mind

wordcount: 0.7K

tags: sexting, unresolved sexual tension

synopsis: as much he's a good Weapon, he's also a bother sometimes

authors note: written for day 2 of kinktober! might be late to port some of them onto tumblr, but i hope ya'll enjoy!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59395495

Soul should know better than to reach for his phone as he waits for Death to declare his mission, but it's just so boring being a Death Scythe. He doesn't really ever get wielded by Death anyways, just lounges about. No wonder Spirit ended up spending so much time at Chupa Cabra's.

There's nothing to do except sit and wait.

And bother Maka.

He grins as he takes his leave with a dumb excuse of heading off for a walk. Death doesn't care enough to stop him, he never really used Soul anyways. He much preferred his twin pistols even now.

Soul meanders aimlessly until he finds a hidden little corner he's known of for years now. He drops down on the ground and opens up his phone before texting Maka "hey," with a slutty amount of y's.

yeah soul?

mmmmmmmnothing

bullshit

i just cant wait to get home

?

its sooo boring working for DTK these days, death scythe is not a good job

things were better when your hands were on me 24/7

im flattered

at least we still live together, no? god i cannot imagine living apart

itd be awful

yeah you got plans tonight? the usual

nothing?

nada zilch im free if youre free

someones eager

what do you have in mind? the usual actually wait are you teaching rn?

nope kids are all off on missions

okay great the usual being me fucking you hard

how hard?

stars

what happens if i fuck you? what then? you and i both know theres a strap under the bed, one that you looove to ride on

i doubt you could make me see stars

then gimme more to work with make this conversation something to read back on when youre on the job

alright alright well to start off our night i think i'd eat you out strip you down, piece by piece hold your thighs, one in each hand and work my way up i'd bite

how much?

bloody amounts

hot

now, i'd bite alllllll the way up your thighs not stopping for even a second, not even if you gripped my head by then i'd already be deep in your cunt fingers and tongue, one hand on your ass

so we're seated?

im on the ground

like the dog you are

you know i'd bark for you any day of the week

and you're on the edge of the bed my hands are in your hair pulling you closer

right right, im mashed up against you in the pussy having a great time leaving no scraps behind absolutely eating

soul.

getting off track sorry queen where was i......... right im in the pussy you cum once

im a little bit worn clawing into your scalp

i dont mind it at all when i can finally back away to breath i wipe down my lips then im back on you slowly pushing you down to the bed

slowly?

hastily i am hastily pushing you to the bed not slamming you, but im not going slow this definitely isnt our first time

definitely not

so youre down, laid out before me so pretty and i immediately start kissing on you lips, neck, chest, all of it nothing new but i should touch back on old territory

mhm

one hand on the mattress one hand on your leg usually you do the work ride me peg me fuck me itll be different tonight though

oh? you really think so?

i know it i'll take you so slow its agonizing missionary style too youll be begging before you know it if you thought i was a tease before im beyond unbearable now every single inch of your skin is gonna be mine only my hands will truly know it my lips as well i could go for a few rounds as many as you like no time for breaks in between creampied thoroughly by the end of it all i think thats where i'd call it a day lick you clean, make sure you're perfect we could sleep afterwards or watch a movie

you better hold true to this tonight

we'll see if DTK gets a mission for me might be too worn out if he does

youre a fucking tease

and you love it

i know

[milesmolasses]

Not Ridin' on Consistency (Hobie x blk! reader)

AHHH ITS HEREEE

i’ve been wanting to write about hobie for the longest.

I finally got around to it!!

⚠️: takes place around midtown Manhattan (42nd St?), really bad British slang, mentions of red heads, theres a reference in here to my favorite place ever (if u find it, i'll give u a cookie)

"I'm walking on clouds right now, holy shit," you laughed to your close friends. Coming back from gigs at ragers and raves was becoming frequent for the small band we configured. Performing with a small group of friends that you've known since childhood felt like a crazy fever dream; like an "Oh my god there is no way this shit is real" type of fever dream.

Though the gigs you got were small and didn't draw much traction, the fact that there were people out there who enjoyed the type of music you put out there, especially within the black community, really brightened your spirits and only furthered the small band's hopes of one day being wildly known amongst the people.

"My god man, did you see that one girl at the bar ogling at Malcolm?" asked Marsh. They walked in front of the group, skipping as they turned their body to walk backward, now properly looking at you and Malcolm while still ahead.

"What the one with red hair?"

"Yes, bro! Jesus fucking Christ it was like she was undressing you with her eyeballs," said Marsh, hands covering their eyes for comedic effect. Marsh had a knack for knowing when and how people stare at their friends, it's like they can feel other people's eyes on you. If you ever wanted to know if a cute girl or your crush was staring at you, they'd be the one to know.

You threw your head back as you laughed and jabbed Malcolm in his side, telling him, "Yo, you better watch out my black brotha, don't wanna be snow bunnied!"

The Dr. Umar reference seemed to set Malcolm over the edge as he complained the rest of the walk to the train station. Sayings like "My red-head phase was over mad long ago," or "Ya'll never gon' let me live that phase down huh," and other deflections were all that was said the rest of the way to the station.

Upon your arrival at the station, the emergency exit was open with busy people hustling to go in and out of the station without having to pay. So with a small crowd of people, you and your guys went through the exit. One person, in particular, caught your eye amid the crowd of people; loud, statement black wicks and a leather jacket wrapped around his waist, probably removed because of how hot it was in the station, and a scuffed pair of well-worn doc martins to pull together his all-black fit. A beautiful dark skin shimmering with sweat in the crowd of people, and to go with that, the eyebrow and lip piercings he had really suited his hard face. Strapped around his body, was a guitar out in the open with no case. "No case on the guitar isn't crazy?" you thought to yourself.

"Hello??? Y/N are you still with us, we have a train to catch?"

You blinked as you realized where you were. It's not like you were in a trance, just in your own head for a while, admiring him... Huh, suppose he did put you in a trance. Looking at Marsh in front of you, you looked up a bit past their head to see the train schedules and when the train was coming. Reading the sign it said the next train would be there in three minutes. "We have time, c'mon," you said as you walked past Marsh to the staircase headed to the 6 train.

Marsh looked up at Malcolm, eyes wide and astonished, "Did I not just..."

"Never mind that, let's go," said Malcolm. Marsh watched as Malcolm followed you up the stairs absolutely dumbfounded.

"I'm not appreciated enough," March mumbled as they sighed.

As you walked along the platform, you looked around to sus out your surroundings deciding on where a good place to stand and wait for the train was. That's when you saw him again, leaning on a surface with his hands in his pockets staring off into space. Your head started to wander with thoughts of who this guy was, and if you should know him or not considering the guitar strapped around him. Thinking of every punk, alt, and rock group you knew, you just couldn't seem to draw a conclusion about who this guy was. Maybe he wasn't in a band, maybe he rocked solo.

You stood on the opposite end of him, looking back to see where your crew was. You saw them headed towards you from the staircase as you smiled and waved them over. They were pretty far in the distance so you lightly giggled to yourself as you watched them speed walk.

"Nice threads."

What you heard next to you, was a man with a deep, thick British accent, and Lord did it made you weak in the knees. You subtly leaned against the stature close to you and looked to see to where the voice was coming from though, you felt like you had a pretty good idea of who was talking to you.

"Who me?"

"Yeah you bruv, ain't no one else I could be talkin' to."

You raised an eyebrow and your nose flared looking at him; this British attitude he was taking up with you did not sit right with you at all. Before you could say something you heard the train rumble and the lights grow brighter as the train emerged from its tunnel.

Malcolm was the first to make it to you with Marsh not trailing far behind as he said, "There is no reason this platform needs to be so damn long! The train doesn't need all this space!"

You could barely hear him though, with the train closely approaching and the British dude still on your mind.

"Literally, I knocked my case into people trying to speed walk over here," said Marsh gesturing to her case and the people all the way down the platform.

The train slowly came to a stop as it squealed along the tracks. Walking on the train as the door opened, you and your crew walked to an open area near the door opposite to the ones you walked through. Leaning on the door with Malcolm in front of you, you looked to your left and saw him, the rocker dude who gave you attitude earlier. Ignoring him, you decided to pay attention to your friends surrounding you. However, it appeared Marsh had other plans.

"Hey man, you should probably get a case for that soon. Don't want it getting scuffed up," said Marsh as they peered at the British guy standing next to you.

"Yeah, I've been told. Thanks mate."

In such a packed train, it was hard to move around to get a better look at the dude, so Marsh peeked her head even further to continue to conversation further. "So you play with anyone orrr..." they said, voice dozing off on the last part.

"Uh-huh. Got some ol' chaps back in London who I play with. You lot play good tonight?"

He turned his head looking over at Malcolm seeing that he had a drumstick twirling between his fingers. "Yeah at this underground place on 42nd. Shit was wild man," said Malcolm as he reached his hand out to give the guy a fist bump.

I stayed silent during their small talk about punk rock and guitars and whatnot. I fiddled with the strap on my shoulder from my bass case trying to look forward and ignore the conversation.

As they smiled and laughed at some joke Malcolm made, Marsh peeked their head towards the mystery guy and asked "Yo what's your name again?"

"Hobie. Hobie Brown."

The train began to loosen up a bit as more people started getting off at their stops. More seats opened up so we sat down across from each other. Marsh and Malcolm sat on one end of the train and me and Hobie sat on the other side.

"You strum? What model?" he asked nodding down at my case.

"Not guitar, I play bass," I said not even looking up at him.

"Bare quiet. Feels like I'm under some quiet investigation– you won't even give me the time of day," he chuckled. You turned your head towards him as you scrunched your eyebrows at him.

"Ten minutes ago you were rude to me."

"You're exaggerating innit, I was only pointing out the obvious," he said raising his eyebrows and smiling as if he was all innocent. But really he was laughing at your sensitivity.

"Mandem over there was just telling me about how good you were during your show," he said, nodding to Marsh and Malcolm on the other side of the train. "Good lot they are you know?"

"Of course I know, they're my friends idiot," you said, smiling as you rolled your eyes.

"Now that's proper rude, only been two minutes and you're taking the piss out of me," he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

"I-I'm sorry- taking the WHAT out of you?!" Now it was your turn to laugh as you covered your mouth and lolled your head back, not able to control the laughter coming from you.

He sucked his teeth and smiled as he mumbled under his breath, "Americans."

"Hey, you're lucky I don't start coming for your dental institutions next," you said as you looked over at him and smiled.

Looking up at the impending stops you had left on the train, you recognized Malcolm's stop was next, so he would be getting off soon. Turning to look at Hobie still sitting, you stood up and asked him to put his guitar down to save your seat. "Are you mad-!?"

"Just for two seconds while I say bye to Malcolm," you said already standing up and walking two steps to where Malcolm was sitting.

When you walked up to him, he was grinning up at you with the fattest smile ever, already standing up from where he was sitting ready to get off the train. "He's cute-"

"Shut up and c'mere," you rolled your eyes as you hugged him close to you. "Today was good man, text me when you get home," you said.

"Of course," he smiled as he pulled away, blowing a kiss to Marsh still sitting down.

"Text me when he asks you out," was the last thing he said to you as he exited the train. Looking towards Marsh and taking the now empty seat next to them, you rolled your eyes as you complained about how unbelievable he was for saying that. What you didn't notice was that Marsh wasn't looking at you as you spoke to them, they were looking directly in front of them.

"You say all this now, but what if I told you he has been staring at you for the past few minutes?"

"What-" You looked away from Marsh to see Hobie looking right at you, guitar by his side still saving your seat. When he noticed you looking back, he smirked at you as he nodded his head.

Marsh gave you a knowing look as they elbowed your side, "What the hell are you still doing here? He's waiting for you!"

You sighed while smiling as you walked over to Hobie. He took his guitar from the seat and shuffled to cross it back around his torso.

"So here I am looking dizzy with a guitar sitting next to me while the peng girl who asked me to do this is chattin' up her mates," he said as his eye followed your body as you sat next to him.

"I don't know if that was meant to be a compliment or if you just insulted me," you joked.

"You didn't give me much of a choice innit. I never got your name," he smiled at you.

Your nose flared, but not in annoyance from him like last time, but in a more bashful sense. You smiled and lolled your head to the side as you chuckled, "Y/N."

"Nice name, it up for sale?"

You giggled as Hobie focused on the way your shirt slightly lifted as you brought your hand to your mouth. "You never really thanked me for the compliment I gave you. Death is a proper band y'know?" He was talking about the graphic tee you wore; a band you've known most of your life called "Death," was plastered across your shirt.

"Oh! You mean the compliment that followed up with you painting me out to be a fool right after? That compliment?" Sarcasm and attitude dripped in your tone and it was driving Hobie mad. He laughed as he stretched his long legs out, turning to look at you.

"I'm serious! I'd pay a tenner to meet someone who has even half the mind to look up black rock artists, and here you are in a t-shirt making my wildest dreams come true," he said looking up with his head turned to the side to look at you.

"Ever since I was young, Death was all I heard growing up. Mom was like this huge super fan and would always play their popular songs," your mind wandered off to your childhood. You thought about music blasting through the walls of your childhood home, while your mother bathed you. Her soft eyes contrasted the music she played loudly, lowly singing the lyrics and looking at you lovingly.

"I'm sorry for your loss mate.. must be tough," said Hobie genuinely.

"Oh god, she's not dead!" Your hands covered your face as you bent down laughing. "She just doesn't play them as often anymore!"

"Geez you were chattin' like she passed," Hobie laughed. He watched you laugh and the way your face creased as you smiled, leaning into him. You had the prettiest shiny tooth gem decorating your left canine, glittering in the soft train light. He paid attention to the way your locs flowed and swayed with you wherever your body we. It was almost hypnotizing as they framed your face perfectly.

"I'm gonna call you Bonnie. Okay, Bonnie?"

You lifted your head out of your hands and looked at him with eyebrows furrowed in confusion, still smiling. "Does Bonnie mean something in the British language?"

"Look it up American," he said rolling his eyes. The deep dimples on his face made you smile in delight. They went well with all the lines and creases in his face; "He must be living a happy life," you thought to yourself.

Hobie looked up to see how many stops he had left, which wasn't many. "I gotta get going soon, Bonnie," he said rubbing his hands together. Standing up and brushing his pants off, he looked up at you and said "Welp, I'm off for tonight."

"W-wait huh? Hol' up a sec-" you said as you got up after him to the train doors. Turning to look at you, he raised an eyebrow as a way of questioning you.

"You should at least get my number or something. Unless you leave all your girls hangin' and bangin'," you said smirking up at him.

He chuckled as he looked down at your stature, "Nuff of my "girls" would have figured out by now that I don't have a phone and knock me off for a wasteman."

"So it appears we've run into a little problem, hmm? How can I see you again if you're what the girls say, a wasteman," you questioned with a small glint of hope in your mischievous eyes, hoping that he would give you something, anything that hinted at where you could see him again.

"A loft in Brooklyn might be a good place to start.. "

It was then that the train came to a stop and the door opened. Just as he was about to step off the train, he looked back at you and said,

"But I wouldn't count on it, see, I'm not really ridin' on consistency."

RAHHHHHHH

shit took entirely too long to write

but very worth it <3

[sketchquill]

YOOOOOOOOO! FIRST YOU GOTTA BE ONE IF THE MOST TALENTED ARTIST I HAVE EVER SEEN!! SECOND YOUR GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE IS GIVING ME BRAIN ROT! And it got me thinking!

This being inspired by art that I just literally saw a minute ago by alice angel12x! With their idea of ghost of Christmas present yn!

The scene

Frank could only look at the ghost with fear as he watched them grow older by the minute. The once bright and cheerful spirit that stood tall among the crowd now appeared centuries older, their wooden skin was chipping and rotting away like an ancient oak that had been left to grow on dying soil their labored breaths showed how tired they had became but their hood hid their face from the puppet leaving his blind to their appearance but he was certain that it had changed as well. His heart ached for the spirits well being, it was thanks to them that he was able to see the warmth of the town surrounding him for so many years, a warmth that soaked deep into his bones that he never wished to forget.

He knelt down by the spirits slumped formed worry and fear filling his eyes " spirit? Please say something! Is there anything I can do?" He asked, he begged, for as much as he knew the truth, he wanted to remain naive for a little longer.

" I'm afraid cough! There isn't much you can do for a spirit dear frank, my being is far beyond your control. Its my own fault really, I saw hiw happy you were seeing everyone that I had forgotten my own limits and now I fear my time has come"

You spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world as tears slowly stared to fill franks eyes. "N-no please please this cant be! There must be something I can do!" For the first time in years frank is willing to put someone else's well being above his, the idea made you smiled weakly underneath your hood.

"Theres a heart underneath that all that doom and gloom after all huh? Thank you dear frank but im afraid im already gone" you glance up at the swirling snow that surround the both of you. While frank paid no mind to it, you watched as the wind grew more aggressive causing the most beautiful sight before you mixing with the cruel glow of a blue haunting light.

" My darling, you're already here? Im afraid im worst for wear" you spoke to the air it seemed as you forced yourself to stand up. Frank tried to get a hold on your arm to held you steady yourself only for your arm to shattered into dying splinters that blew away with the wind.

Frank finally noticed the blue glow when it suddenly became like a large bonefire at the destruction of your arm but you could inky laugh as you walked on shaking legs, knocking your hollow knees together with each step.

"No there's no need for that! You cant blame a boy for not knowing, there is so much for him to learn and it is best that you take me place dont you?"

You spoke with confidence as you pulled down your hood causeing frank to lose his breath. Your once beautiful hair made of leaves had disappeared and wilted into brown dying vines that left you into a balding state, cracking lines spread across your face their source was from the now empty socket that once held one of your bright warmth filled eyes.

You look up at the hooded figure without any source of fear or worry in your entire body, something that frank was envy about as he felt fear shake his entire soul at the towering figure.

Your remaining arm reached up to the figures face, reaching into the inky blackness of the hood with some effort revealed the soft gaze of a yellow felt face that looked down at the spirit of christmas present with warmth and sadness within his eyes.

" what-what is this?" Frank asked in a shaking voice but you only could chuckle.

"No one can help who they love frank, be they a puppet or a spirit such as us. There will always be something that will block then from one another" it was almost like you were speaking with the wind, your voice rising and falling with each sound.

You slowly turned your body more fragile than a porcelain doll would as your body slowly splintered and cracked more but a smile filled with warmth still remained on your face, as if he wasnt the cause for your breaking state.

"My last kindness and his warning frank frankly, this could be your last Christmas."

You shattered, bits of wood and cloth blew through the raging wind turning into small sparks of light that were swallowed by the darkness of the winter night. Frank could only stare in awe at the sight of your dissapearing form unaware of the tears that slowly left the hooded figures eyes.

I GOT REALLY INTO THIS AND I DONT CARE MY BRAIN JUICE WAS FLOWING! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND I HOPE YOU DONT MIND THE SMALL ROMANCE I GAVE TO GHOST WALLY AND YN! THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!

IM GOING FERAL OVER THIS HOLY JESUS THIS IS AWESOME I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF READING THIS LIKE- AAAAA AND THE LIL’ MOMENT BETWEN GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT! Y/N AND GHOST OF YET TO COME! WALLY BEFORE Y/N SHATTERS IS SO UNDENIABLY SWEET BUT OH MY GOD IT PULLED AT MY HEART STRINGS 😭💕💖

@alice-angel12x ALICE GET OVER HERE YOU GOTTA GET OVER HERE AND READ THIS BRO 👏

[galakianexplosion]

Okay so; another little one punch man ramble. {SPOILERS! :D}

This is for the non revised lastest chapters in specific, and the monster association arc.

The parallels between Saitama and Flash,

Originaly from a conversation with my friend @kachikirby , it might be extremly obvious to everyone but id like to speak about it anyways! :D

To elaborate a tiny bit more on this and mostly rephrase ; So both have their own foe to defeat; Saitama with Garou and Flash with Emtpy void (motivated to fight god himself).

Both of their enemies is possessed by said god. And both wanted something out of the other party. Garou wanted to fight Saitama at his best and Empty Void deemed Flash worthy enough to be gifted the same "possession". So to throw both off they needed to get a reaction, something that'd break something inside of them.

Both don't have all that much to look to, even if we know less about Flash, i think it's safe to assume he's lonely and focuses on his strenght. Saitama is simillar, a man so bored with his own strenght.

But, both have someone, now you might add that Garou also managed to kill all other heroes (and more) present near him which certainly did not help Saitama feel better, which i will agree with! But the main factor for the whole state he gets into after stays Genos. (It's also heavily heavily implied/basicaly said that Saitama relies Genos for support and all of that) Saitama recieves Genos' core- his heart.

Now Flash on the other hand, despite his messy fall out with Sonic, said Sonic is really the only one he has. They both were each other's only source of "happiness" during the times when they were in the ninja training thing. They both relied on each other and had a whole dream with each other. They both have a very strong history despite their falling out. And even after that they do still care for one another. So, even with what Flash says to Blast about being soft in the revised version, he too, has a weakness in the form of someone else. Flash receives Sonic's head as his dismembered remains falls in the back. His head is even cut in half. In the middle, horizontaly.

Now, hear me out, im pretty sure there's a connection between God and the brain (as well as psychic powers and the moon but anyways,) and Sonic's head was cut in a way that kept said brain intact. I don't have much on this part right now but i do believe theres a link between all of those things---

Also could it be said that there was Heart and Mind (Reason and feelings) parallels

SO

Sonic's dead was false. It's a projection made from Empty Void to Flash, an illusion to break his spirit. WHICH SUCCEEDED. And broke Flash for long enough to able Empty Void to get the cube to touch him.

Meanwhile, Genos' death was fully real. He was really dead when Saitama fought with Garou.

But all turned out alright for the four of them. Flash got saved by Sonic, who was fully alive and well. And Saitama turned back time which allowed Genos to be alive again (and all the other heroes but you know)

So; both also had similar expressions at simmilar time. Faces shadowed out except for eyes. (Saitama's eyes don't appear on most of the pannels however) But both were clearly in a form of distress over someone they care about dying. They're both well aquainted with Death. They're heroes who kill monsters. And Flash also is an assassin.

It can also be said that they would not really have made it out on their own in some ways. Genos' core being there managed, in some ways, to keep Saitama's brain mostly in check (if you get what i mean). Saitama could probably have been way more dangerous otherwise. And Sonic managed to snap Flash out of the possession before God took a hold of him.

Because in the end, God is a convincing little meanie. Taking the form of someone you trust. (Except in psychos case where she fused with someone already gifted by god i believe) (and that homeless emporor who i believe saw a version of god because he perhaps didn't have anyone close to him.) So Flash did see Sonic, like if all his life and troubles were just a bad dream, he was in front of his childhood friend, in a vast field, being reassured by the other he just saw being cut apart seconds earlier.

And both Flash and Saitama know each other. And both lived trough their first encounter with God next to each other (along Manako)

All of this to say that both their parallels are very dear to me. I wonder what we'll see of it in the revised version!

[neyliaart]

Since im skipping class have a TGCF AU idea ramble.

Premise is smt like: strong spiritual weapons can develope and switch into a human form (see. Rain Masters Mount. The Boy had it going)

Aka. Im turning our babies into people but only part time.

Cut because much spoiler for all Plot

Let us begin

Ruoye:

Ruoye turns human about a medium percentage of the time and is suprisingly rather talkactive with Xie Lian. They cant be curled up and cozy in Xie Lians sleeve when they do, which is about the biggest downside. I imagen when they were a younger spirit they were much more curios, exploring and testing their limits in silk form, learning a lot about their own limits and how not to get tangled up into knots. It was semi-acidential when they first turned human and jumping up all proud they promptly fell back down face first. Gravitiy baby. They figured all that out relativly quickly tho.

Ruoye has unbeliavbly long white hair and it gets tangled everywhere and on everything much to Xie Lians dismay. He tried putting it in a big braid but that just ended up getting Ruoye stuck on some branches and didnt help the knots in their hair so he resigned himself to the task of combing it on a regular basis. Ruoye mostly turns to wander of and explore a bit (and happily tell Xie Lian of their findings) because even now that they have grown they still remain curious in nature or to help out with the chores sometimes. Although they do hate getting dirty in general. When younger I also imagen Ruoye often asked about how they came to be, after all a spiritual silk band like themselves must have some origin. Xie Lian has managed to avoid the topic each and every time, leaving Ruoye clueless about its own involvement in past events. A very good decision because I dont think thats something anyone would want to know.

Some more general appearance (which I hopefully will actually draw one day) Ruoye is pale and wears white which isnt really that original but theres only so much my mind can do with white slik. Aside from the long hair which is usually open unless Xie Lian ties into into something for them their sleeves are also long. They grew into it to the extent they dont trip over their own clothes anymore but its still enough to blow in the wind and turn them into a giant silk again visually speaking. After the final showdown and being stitched back together they also have a rather big scar on their stomach which bothers themselves a little to look at, but they dont have to very often so they sometimes forget its there.

Eming:

Ruoye was not happy when showing off by turning human resultet in Eming doing the same. Starting with general appearance here. One red eye as per usual. Id imagen Eming never bothered much covering the other or the lack of one and neither did Hua Cheng. Eming is Pale and almost silvery to the extent Xie Lian thought he might be sick upon first seeing him (Eming didnt mind it got him attention). While technically also a good 800 years old by now Eming remains the form of a teenager which actually makes him smaller than Ruoye, much to their pleasure and his dismay.

Anyhow, Eming Propably does know how it was formed. Hua Cheng just told him very early on to have it out of the way and not be troubled with it later. Eming didnt really use to be in human form much if at all until Xie Lian came around and he started doing it more and more to help him with as many things as he possibly could (butting heads with Ruoye about the praised it earned him many times). There was just not much of a reason prior and he had to always be on call on vigilant for Hua Cheng so thats that. Sometimes now he just turns human because Xie Lian thinks hes rather cute and he loves getting that pointed out. Makes him all giddy. Eming likely talks less than Ruoye in general which is subconcious because Hua Cheng only allows so much and he is already not so happy about Eming taking on human form just to steal away geges attention. Eming did open up to Ruoye a little post-canon. Since Xie Lian spends a lot of time just being lovey dovey with Hua Cheng the two weapons also have a lot more downtime so Ruoye dragged Eming along to explore Ghost City one of those days. And well, even for Eming you can only listen to so much chatter and happy comments about the structure of the buildings or whatever else caught Ruoyes eye before you slowly start to join the conversation. Turns out Eming can actually talk quiet a lot! They probably bond over that and now Ruoye drags him along all the time. This does in no way mean they dont still fight for Xie Lians attention. It does however mean they get to complain to one another about how they both lost that fight to Hua Cheng.

Fangxin

Xie Lian actually didnt know Fangxin had a human form for the longest time and was rather startled when he first turned out of nowhere. It was likely at someones doorstep when Xie Lian was doing the usual scrap business that a tall and posed man just suddenly stood there pointing at a book asking something along the lines of "can we get this one?"

Fangxin did tragically not convince the owner to give them the book for free which was likely only because he was told to keep at least a semi-low profile and hes not one to disappoint Jun Wu.

Fengxin I feel has intricatly braided hair with a few little pieces of silver jewlery in it. Generally clothes in black and the tallest of our three with some little silver and white adornment. Xie Lian assumed it took the sword a lot of energy to turn because after not getting what he asked for he turned right back and didnt turn again for a long time. In truth Fengxin just doesnt care a whole lot. He turns mostly to pass the time with a scroll when he can and talks only as much as necessary during his time with Xie Lian. This is partially because the less he turns and talks the less likely he is to spill any secrets and while he isnt that talkactive to begin with he also isnt much in need of new friends to risk it. A very loyal soul. It also gives Fangxin some more old man vibes which just reiterates Xie Lians believe that, while a good weapon, Fangxin seems to be pretty old. Therefore he doesnt question it much and politly accepts the fact that Fangxin does not wish to converse with him when he turns and they just kind of co-exsist in the same space until Fangxin decides to turn back. Hes barely noticable really.

Ruoye doesnt like him a whole lot. Odd feeling about the guy. It might just be because they are very unalike in nature (if you ask Xie Lian at least) and Fangxin never quiet humored and of Ruoyes exploring or little rambles quietly refusing to engage.

Xie Lian has, much to his shock, has to find out that Fangxin isnt actually old or too weak to hold a human form for long after Jun Wu takes the sword back. Back where he truly belongs Fangxin has more the aura of a confident youth. In fact Fangxin actually quiet enjoys a good fight and is rather thrilled to finally be allowed to work at full power again. He isnt much less of a menace than his master. If I were to indulge greatly id imagen Fangxin actually rapidly switching between human and sword form in the fight for some cool moves but yall can decide that as you will. One way or the other with Jun Wu Fanxin is somewhat a reflection of who that man used to be. Confident, proud, strong and always excited to spar. Because i think thats neat and Fangxin is at heart still Jun Wus weapon. He is meant as such and I intend to fight anyone on that. This is also the reason Fangxin kept his secrets and played a low profile. Very loyal soul.

Suprise! More because nobody can stop me now!

The wind and water master fan:

I dont quiet remember if they were made as a pair in canon but they will be here, making them essentially twins! Very close twins to be precise. Whenever they get together you can be sure a little chaos ensues and they have much to talk about. I dont really have much of a mental image on them except that id think its cool if their outfits are complimentary? Like they do very clearly match but they dont wear the same thing. They did that fully on purpose by the way.

For the wind master fan I imagen its a lively fellow. While dutiful enough to know when to not turn and remain a weapon for safetys sake and that it should always stay close to Shi Qingxuan in case it it needed, it does turn pretty often. To an extent where most heavenly officials actually know the Fan about as well as the Master. They probably have regular chats too. I just kind of imagen whenever Shi Qingxuan is strolling through the heavens without anything to do the wind master fan is strolling right next to her matching her step. And you better be sure they find something to talk about until a task arises and they need to actually work.

The water master fan is a bit less lively but that is mostly due to Shi Wudu just not being as conversing (although maybe they do gossip together sometimes. Feels like Shi Wudu might gossip to his weapon because his weapon wont snitch) and its not like Shi Wudu has that many friends it could talk to instead. So when it turns its mostly to serve as a lowkey junior official or when it meets its twin and they can chat!

Funnily enough both of them actually picked up the habit of changing between female and male form (much to Shi Wudus building headache and Shi Qingxuans delight). Shi Wudu 100% thinks his brother set them up to do that, but thats only half true. While the Wind Master fan definetly picked up the habit from its master and passed it on to its twin, shi Qingxuan never actually went out of her way to tell them to do it. Nontheless the added strength to her ultimate goal of getting everyone in heaven to try it at least once has gained forces! She is very pleased.

After a certain Arc the wind master fan is having some emotional troubles with grief and death and also some scars. While theirs are more faint than Ruoyes because my brain registers this as a more "brought back from the dead" type of Situation than Ruoye for some reason they have more of them.

The earth master shovel:

The wind master fan has tried to convince them to show their human form many many times and failed many many times. No matter how much he would huff, puff or beg they never complied. Shi Qinxuan put that on the list of: "Why Ming-xiong should train using his spiritual weapons more often" because surely the poor thing just doesnt know how. They both find it unlikely it lacks the power to do so, this shovel can burry through anything! Surely it should have enough spiritual power to form a human appearance.

The truth is that, while technically able, He Xuan actually put some type of seal on it to prevent this. While he did get rid of the earth master he couldn't exactly dump his weapon altogether, but he had to make sure that his cover isnt blown instantly so he just had to prevent the thing from speaking. Easy as that.

Later, when with Yin Yu, the Earth Master Shovel had the seal lifted, but turning into a human form was still difficult. Even if it could it didnt use these legs in a long time and likely had to relearn a lot of things like walking and maybe even speaking because of the whole incident. Yin Yu likely helped with that when he could. They bonded a bit over that.

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Vulnerability: Healing The Body One Day At A Time.

Sometimes I want to stay private. Other times I want to open up. Staying hidden had been a sanctuary at one point. Not sharing with the world my feelings and what damaged me. I got tired of feeling burdens in my body, so at the moment where can I start?

In this present moment, I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm tired. I'm depressed. I'm anxious. I'm worried. I'm exhausted. I'm hopeless. It seems the descriptions of lower feelings doesn't end. I've tried ignoring these feelings, replacing them with good thoughts. Trying to keep an optimistic smile, but that fake smile started to hurt.. And the mask began to wear off one day at a time.

It hurts to feel loneliness, but the truth is nothing can steal your joy but whatever dried up emotions are left infiltrating the mind with unwanted banter.

Its like... I can point out my flaws and my differences but I can't face the truth. I'm tired of truth. It's all I see everyday.

And what makes it funnier? I'm an oracle, and all I do is be 100% honest with people, but with me.... I lie so the triggers won't push too deep. I've ignored the villain that was imposter syndrome, and constantly took life too serious... Until life became a big circus show. And I'm the circus freak giving my performance.

Im annoyed, and constantly fighting tears. When I would cry and have those battles on the ground screaming 'I can't do it', it told me to get up and pick myself back up. You've grown up... you can't waddle your way out of this one.

I had no clue what I was doing, and before I still didn't, this new phase of adulthood I'm entering seems too much to handle but this where reality starts to hit. You're getting.., old. Older. More mature. Buying a house, getting a new car, even creating your own family. Life started to get a little practical... I thought I'd be a kid forever. But I was only talking about the imagination. Its fun being an adult, its so much freedom. It's just... I'm not built for whatever this reality is trying to show us, but I'm still trying. I'm still bringing forth change in my mindset, being more resilient. And allowing myself to be more than what my mind is constantly saying to me.

I've faced myself so much in 2023... Like.. the amount of times I had to look at myself in the mirror and could not escape. And sleeping with a mirror facing your bed don't make it no better, just makes you feel the emotions quicker (i got an interesting feeling when it comes to mirrors... portals man, portals).

I guess society has gotten its grip on the depressed gang, I've been working my way thru it. Theres absolutely no way in telling people that its easy to let go. Just something you learn to process on your journey. I'm learning both can be true at once. I'm learning to figure out what works, even if it takes a journey to reveal itself to me.

So how is this effecting my body... I get random body aches, I've had to make several hospital visits.. all of which there was no idea where the problem was truly stemming from. The doctor would prescribe me pills, they'd work for a while. Then later... the pain would come back again.

When our bodies are feeling pain especially in the organs, theres a spiritual connection that is making that happen. I use spiritual loosely here, what I mean is that our bodies can be carrying a lot of unwanted emotions. Be it rage, stress, depression, anything we don't want to feel but finds its way stuck in the body it'll start messing with your insides later on. When our spirits cannot rely the message, our bodies will for us.. for better or for worse.

I've found out I have health issues I didn't know existed.. I'm joking, well not really. I had no clue what galbladder disease was and def not anything with the gut. Even though I'd have random stomach aches here and there I never knew this would actually be an underlying problem. I didn't think I'd end up with a bunch of problems and it taking years to fix... Although I can be stubborn, I finally changed the way I ate.. it's been helping a bit.. I always did physical activity, but I noticed in my my present reality (3-6 months) its every other day out of the week. That's okay.

With accepting this truth I learned to be open to it because I started bawling.. I was losing weight like a mf and I had to drop all my clothes, still gotta do it now, or just get them tighten up. But its overwhelming.

I'm exhausted all of the time. My body is always on 'stop mode'. I can't work like the average woman because it gets me tired quicker. It kind of irks me because I want to do a little more but I just can't.

I feel as if I'm running out of time and I just don't know what to do. My subconscious is showing signs of paranoid thinking and I just can't see why I'm still running from my own reality.

its. just. too. much.

Im exhausted. And I've barely done anything.

I'm learning to feel my pain. Processing the very things that forced me into an uncomfortable matter.

It hurts to feel the feels of others dualities, but what do I do?

I gotta make amends with the shit I've dealt with, make use of them and take stride with whatever info comes up.

That's the secret. Pay attention to any fears, worries and anxious thoughts you could be picking up on because it's showing you a gate way to whats missing.

[hms-no-fun]

Currently struggling a lot with getting very excited about a project, writing a lot, editing that writing until it's way more polished than what I can come up with off the cuff, and then being too intimidated to add to the document anymore since the previous good writing still gives off this looming intimidation if that makes sense? The more I write the greater the fear is I'll crash the story into a ditch that reveals the premise can't work. have you had that "its not all coming together shit theres a snag thats really important that i missed" moment? I realize it's pretty inevitable for that to happen, but whenever I write myself out of a moment like that I always second guess that I'm still overlooking something important or taking the easy way out. I know it's probably just all about pushing through but I worry that by pushing im just further diluting the original spirit of the project? Sorry for the all over the place ask, hope you have a good day :3

this is always a tough situation to navigate as a writer. happens to me often, and it has taken me a very long time to come even remotely close to being able to deal with it productively. believe it or not, i actually have quite a lot to say about this, so prepare for that below the break.

first of all, no, it's absolutely NOT all about pushing through. i find "pushing through" can just as often make the problem worse. keep in mind that i can only speak to my own experience and process, so any advice i might give here should only be taken insofar as you personally find it useful.

this is a form of writer's block. there are many different types of blocks, each with their own causes and hypothetical treatments. a big part of becoming A Writer as such is learning the difference between them, and developing methods for dealing with them on a case by case basis that don't involve substance abuse. don't do cocaine. that's step one.

most of my blocks are in the vein you describe. i'll be writing a scene that feels good, until i cross a threshold somewhere and suddenly the whole thing feels dead in the water. the first thing i do when this happens is stop writing. it's hard to stop when you're on a roll, i know. life is short and it's hard enough to write even on a good day, but sometimes you can just tell that you're on the wrong track and at that point you're probably not gonna be able to write your way back on.

once stopped, i check the basics. have i eaten recently? am i hydrated? have i taken my medications? these are rarely my problem (i keep a big water bottle with me at all times and my gf makes sure i'm fed), though you never know how useful a snack break can be. most of the time if the problem isn't with the text, it's that i've been writing for too fucking long and i need to clock out. learning to clock out is SO hard. but as i've been getting into the habit these last couple months, while i generally write less per day i ultimately end up writing more over time. i can feel my brain cooking when i've been writing too long. it's a muscle like anything else. if you did a bunch of overtime shifts at a more physical job, you'd need time to recover too. your body isn't a machine, your brain isn't a computer, and living things are inconsistent. it sucks but you'll have a better time all around when you learn to work with your body instead of against it.

another question is, have i showered recently? i find showers tedious and boring. also i still have depression even though my life is a lot better than it used to be. i lived on my own for a very long time as a deeply closeted self-hating trans woman, so my hygiene habits are not always up to sniff. as much as i hate to admit it, showers help. i can't tell you how many times i've sat at a godfeels chapter or video script and just felt fucking miserable, only to come back forty minutes later from a shower, full of creative energy. i despise self-help shit. just not a fan of the culture of positive attitude wellness check stuff because you can't self examine your way out of your class position. sometimes the problem is that you're broke. sometimes life fucking sucks and you just don't have the art in you, and that's okay. there's a common misconception that if something bad happens to you, at least you can make an art to get through it. but in my experience it's actually a lot harder to make art about bad times when you're still in them. most of the time it takes months if not years of safety and recovery before you can really face it head on artistically. so like, be nice to yourself. it's not your fault that you live in a society.

but also sometimes literally you just need a shower or to eat some leftovers or to go to fucking bed. i hate it every time that is true because i want my problems to be real and philosophical and not just some dumb body thing that happens to everyone. alas, no one can escape the quotidian obligations of simple mortality.

THAT SAID! this stuff isn't usually my problem, and often i find that what's solving the problem when i do step away to eat/drink/shower isn't even the specific activity, but the act of stepping away at all. getting my mind off it for a sec. when i hit a block that doesn't feel completely insurmountable, i like to back away from my computer and pace around a bit. then i'll stare at my big whiteboard with a marker in hand and just let my mind wander. i don't even write anything half the time! but the mere act of trying to compartmentalize the problem into something brief enough for shorthand helps me spot the pain points.

one of my favorite books is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which despite what you might assume from its title is NOT a self-help book but instead a work of philosophy from 1974 taking the form of a travelogue. what Robert Pirsig explores in this book is what he calls the Metaphysics of Quality. basically he's trying to understand the split-second judgments we make of things we like and things we don't. i absolutely do not have time to go into the specifics, just know that his Quality refers to the abstract certainty you have when something is Good or Right or Correct or Qualitatively True. like how you pull your hand away unconsciously when you touch a hot stove, but for ideas. you just Know.

a scene that really sticks with me from that book (probably the most famous scene) is when Pirsig describes needing to fix a mechanical problem with his motorcycle only to be stopped dead in his tracks by a stripped screw keeping him from removing the engine cover. he talks about being so focused on the obvious solution to the primary complex problem that, on encountering a smaller, simpler problem that has to be dealt with first, he finds himself completely stuck, calling this "a zero of consciousness." it's a problem so annoying and minuscule and stubbornly unsolvable that you just want to hit the thing with a wrench and throw it in a river. addressing this new problem, this block, requires an adjustment in thinking. and here i'm going to quote a pretty lengthy passage, but don't worry, i'm typing it out by hand with the book in front of me so there's no time saved on my end:

Consider, for a change, that this is a moment to be not feared but cultivated. If your mind is truly, profoundly stuck, then you may be much better off than when it was loaded with ideas. The solution to the problem often at first seems unimportant or undesirable, but the state of stuckness allows it, in time, to assume its true importance. It seemed small because your previous rigid evaluation which led to the stuckness made it small. But now consider the fact that no matter how hard you try to hang on to it, this stuckness is bound to disappear. Your mind will naturally and freely move toward a solution. Unless you are a real master at staying stuck you can't prevent this. The fear of stuckness is needless because the longer you stay stuck the more you see the Quality-reality that gets you unstuck every time. What's really been getting you stuck is the running from the stuckness [. . .] Stuckness shouldn't be avoided. It's the psychic predecessor of all real understanding. An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an understanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors. It's this understanding of Quality as revealed by stuckness which so often makes self-taught mechanics so superior to institute-trained men who have learned how to handle everything except a new situation. Normally screws are so cheap and small and simple you think of them as unimportant. But now, as your Quality awareness becomes stronger, you realize that this one, individual, particular screw is neither cheap nor small nor unimportant. Right now this screw is worth exactly the selling price of the whole motorcycle, because the motorcycle is actually valueless until you get the screw out. With this re-evaluation of the screw comes a willingness to expand your knowledge of it. [. . .] What your actual solution is is unimportant as long as it has Quality. Thoughts about the screw as combined rigidness and adhesiveness and about its special helical interlock might lead naturally to solutions of impaction and use of solvents. That is one kind of Quality track. Another track may be to go to the library and look through a catalog of mechanic's tools, in which you might come across a screw extractor that would do the job. Or to call a friend who knows something about mechanical work. Or just to drill the screw out, or just burn it out with a torch. Or you might just, as a result of your meditative attention to the screw, come up with some new way of extracting it that has never been thought of before that beats all the rest and is patentable and makes you a millionaire five years from now. There's no predicting what's on that Quality track. The solutions all are simple-- after you have arrived at them. But they're simple only when you know already what they are.

this is, in brief, my entire creative philosophy when it comes to writer's block. i share such a lengthy passage because i think it's useful to underline that we're not talking about a problem that is necessarily unique to the labor of writing. this process is a human process. it's just that with writing, the nature of the block itself is often much more difficult to identify than a stripped screw.

there's a couple things i do to try to identify what's got me stuck. a lot of times what happens is that everything in a scene felt good until it didn't, and then everything after that moment fell flat. so i'll go back and read the whole thing and just try to feel the scene. is everyone in character? is their dialogue too quippy, or too aggressive, too expository? are we in the midst of a conversation that has simply gone on way too fucking long? i know it can be torturous to reread your own stuff but idk what else to say except get used to it. especially when you're still early in the drafting phase! like if you know you're not gonna release this thing imminently, there's no reason to be precious about the stuff that's good or to beat yourself up over the stuff that's bad. i know that compulsion to try to Get Everything Right The First Time is strong, but it's completely unsustainable.

sometimes the block is that i just don't feel like writing narration. i've always sucked at grounding a scene with descriptions of the place. lately i'm trying to get away from relying solely on descriptions of staging/blocking, but it's hard for a bitch like me who mostly prefers writing dialogue. i've gotten a lot more comfortable with putting notes between dialogue exchanges like [character moves, looks at picture, has a dramatic thought, other character fiddles with object]. it can feel like cheating sometimes but it's not. there's no such thing. no one will know the route you took to get to the end. they will only see what you show them, when you decide to show it to them.

sometimes the block is in some minor or major betrayal of the story's spirit. the (Terezi) & Jade scene i talked about in this ask is a good example. i hit a point where nothing was working anymore. no one would talk to me. the light was gone. i can always tell when i made the wrong choice. it's such a particular sensation. as though i'm walking and i realize i no longer recognize the road i'm on and must've made a wrong turn somewhere. the solution to this particular block is introspection, retracing my steps, because the wrong turn isn't always obvious. maybe it's that someone in the scene is being too mean, or that i've failed to accomplish what the scene exists to do in some way, or that someone's made an uncharacteristic choice that now everyone in the scene is arguing about and it's like, man, this is taking too long, i'm not enjoying this anymore.

another example from A1 is the second half of the solo. i'd had most of the jasprose scene, the karkat-calliope-roxy scenes, and the vrisrezi-jade scenes written since i posted the A1 chorus. where i ran into trouble was that i needed to get jane, jake, and (terezi) to show up. my original plan was to have them arrive one by one, thus allowing their individual dramas a moment in the spotlight before being subsumed into the group. not a bad idea in theory but in practice it was fucking tedious. here we have a bunch of characters already immersed in the scene captured by the intrigue of Jade being enigmatic, and then some unawares jagoff wanders in and suddenly everyone has to stop what they're doing and be like "hey hello how are you what's up" and then they explain how they got there and then they ask what's up and it's such a DRAG. honestly i would say the majority of my creative blocks by volume are moments when the story really wants me to just cut to black for a smoke break and come back when somebody gets mad enough to throw a punch. i mean that's the the development of A1 in a nutshell. originally everyone was gonna start the track locked up in space-jail on the hopebringer, jade would show up all apologetic and say what she expects padua's deliberation to be, then the whole cast would see her throw a fit over a decision she knew was coming, they'd all be absolved of guilt and let free, then they'd all argue about who's staying or going with Jade in the morning, they'd split up to go pack their stuff and then...

well that was exactly the problem. i wanted to get all the pertinent things out of the way. jade's code switching, voidthought, some EWL teases. give the whole cast a chance to react to it. i thought that would be expedient, because it got the Plot out of the way and gave time to characters for Feelings. if that version of the scene had come at the end of chapter 8, it might have worked. but i realized that as soon as jade's audience was no longer captive, i had no fucking clue what to do with them anymore. we already knew who would go with jade, so acting like that's some kind of mystery is just lame. i started writing A1 from a place of desiring informational density & a quick pace, because we've got places to go and things to do. but if the real purpose of A1 is to explore why these characters choose to go with Jade, then that needed to be done with a lot more care and precision. that's when i decided to let Jade spend two days underground making the earth right again, so that she has to come to everyone individually rather than the other way around. and it muddies her motivations, if you don't mind the pun. it puts her at an appropriate remove from the others. i ultimately wound up conveying all the same information as in the original version, but i did it in a way that was more appropriate thematically and artistically. it wound up being longer road than i anticipated, but this is a long story and in this case the longer road was better for the journey.

take the chapter where Jade visits Roxy. i needed some time with Roxy alone to set the scene, since she's the first person Jade decides to visit and i like writing about the insides of trailer homes. i wanted to get some politics from Jane in this chapter, so hey, why not throw in a televised speech? oh, and then i can have some tucker carlson types remind us that Earth C is a fucking mess. i wrote all that, and it was good, but it was just Roxy watching tv. i tried to get into Jade's arrival and couldn't. so i went back and realized, oh, Roxy should be yelling at the tv the whole time! now we get Jane's politics, Roxy's reactions to those politics, as well as bits and pieces of context re: Jane's relationships with Karkat and Roxy. now when Jade arrives, we can play with the question of whether she heard the speech from outside Roxy's door, and why neither of them was physically at the speech in the first place. there's tension and imbalance in Roxy's state of mind when Jade does arrive, so we're more inside her perspective than we usually are, which in turn helps us identify with her when Jade starts infodumping about antimemes.

so often for me, working through a block is a matter of doing a better job utilizing what's available to you. going back to the A1 solo and trying to bring Jake, Jane, and (Terezi) into the scene. i finally returned to it after a couple months of being sick and dealing with life problems. i was frustrated because i'd hoped to be several tracks in to 3.2 by now, and instead i was confronted with just how much more of this thing is left and how long that might take if i couldn't pick up the pace. this thing NEEDED to get done.

and then i remembered that Jasprose is literally right there.

and that was it! problem fucking solved! i had jasprose drop all three of them into the scene completely unceremoniously using manic teleportation through a fenestrated plane, and from there the entire rest of the chapter erupted out of me in a single go. it's such an obvious solution to the problem that you as reader probably assumed it was the plan from the very beginning. but it's like Pirsig says: the solutions all are obvious-- after you've arrived at them.

then there's the problem of overwriting. i actually did i think four different versions of the opening to the A1 solo. the first person narration was a late addition. i tweaked that scene so so so many times. it kept feeling close but not quite. when i did the thing where i reread to find where the block happened, instead of actually reading the thing i just kept finding spots where i could write more. i can extend this anecdote. this line could be better. maybe a comma here would work better than an ellipsis...

this can be good because sometimes what's blocking you is that you skipped over something that needed more time. maybe some information or a dramatic emphasis that gives the stuff you can't yet write the momentum it needs to get going again. but i've gotta be real careful doing this, because i can do it forever. and then, as you describe (hey look, i'm actually talking about your specific problem now!), that hyper-polished section sets everything else up to fail by comparison.

i think the trick is knowing the difference between when a scene needs an editing pass vs when a scene just straight up isn't working. when it's not working, sometimes you do just have to throw it all out and start over. but if it's good enough that you feel like all it's missing is better dialogue and some more description, then you can hold off on that polish until the rest of the thing is done. this conundrum is most common at the beginning of a chapter or story in my experience, precisely as a result of the process i've been describing this whole time. when you hit a block and retrace your steps, you can always find things to fix. so it's sort of natural that any given chapter becomes less polished the further along you get in to it. that's why it's so important to understand the differences between all these different types of blocks, and to remind yourself that literally nothing you've written is finished until the moment you've made it public.

a big part of getting the A1 solo out the door was me swallowing my desire for perfection in every exchange and saying, no, this is good enough. it's not 100% what i want, but it's close enough that it just isn't worth the effort it would take to get there. sometimes there are scenes that are worth that effort, but they are always rarer than you think and they're never the ones you'd expect. i will freely admit that there are a lot of characters expositing their motivations in this chapter. i tried to embed as much of that in humor or drama as i could, but sometimes you just have to shrug your shoulders and walk away and hope your readers will be nice to you.

of course the funny thing is, once i finished the chapter and had all the panels sketched out and wiped my hands clean of the whole affair, janet needed two weeks to make the images. so i ended up having time to polish up a couple of those things that i felt were lacking after all. but those additions were radically small and intuitive, because i'd divorced myself from the raw production and had committed to so many directions that i *couldn't* change much. i'm so used to writing for release that i don't know what to do with myself when my part of the job is done before i can kick it out the door. i've come to find that waiting, taking breaks, walking away and coming back, do wonders for your ability to egolessly examine your work and identify what's wrong. sometimes you just need a day or two to sleep on it.

and sometimes you realize that you've really just over-written a scene, out of preciousness or insecurity or whatever else, and the result is so much bigger than everything else you want to do that it's more expedient to just scrap it. i hate when this happens, man. i did this with an early version of the A1 chorus, when Jade is stuck in space alone and shouting about how unfair her life has been. you know sometimes there's an emotion in a scene that's addictive. some bit of pathos that you just feel down to your bones, fuck me man, this is so GOOD, this is so JUICY, this shit has QUALITY. it's so good you don't want it to be finished. so you keep writing it, and writing it, and you rewrite it, and you add to it, because you really want to squeeze every drop of emotion you can from the thing. and then you wind up with a bloated melodramatic mess that's so overplayed you've annihilated everything that compelled you to write it in the first place.

i want to be clear that this isn't wasted work. nothing you ever put to the page, no matter how ultimately useless it might prove to be, is wasted work. the way i see this whole process, top to bottom, is that there's this thing. i don't know what it is, but it's there. maybe it starts with an image, or a line of dialogue, or a relationship, or a natural vista, whatever. it can be anything. what matters is it's a sign pointing you in a direction. it's something that has Quality that you can feel with such potent immediacy that you have no choice but to write it. the act of writing is something of an expedition, because the real magic of it comes when those disparate signs start colliding with one another. an image becomes a scene, a house, a world, a universe. sometimes these signs lead to dead ends, but with experience you learn to tell the dead ends from the rough patches. you learn how to make your own way. you do this by listening to what this thing is telling you. every story i've ever written has known better than me what it wants. i can impose so much onto it, i control 90% of the process at least. but that other 10% cannot, should not be quantified or controlled but simply understood. if you try to bottle the flame, you'll just end up snuffing it out.

no artist really knows why they do what they do or how they're able to pull it off. they can tell you their methods, their process, their coping mechanisms, they can write ludicrously lengthy diatribes on tumblr in response to an innocuous ask, but you can't pin down the soul of the thing. Quality is ephemeral, because it's first. it happens before you've had time to think, like putting your hand on a hot stove. you just know. and you have to trust that knowledge to carry you forward, not second guess it too much, not try to wrangle the thing into a shape it doesn't want to assume. sometimes this requires writing scenes that you don't love, because it's easier to build a messy bridge between the moments that drive you than it is to perfect every single moment out of an artificial commitment to like, Being A Good Writer or whatever.

a lot of this is just practice. you get better at communicating with your creative impulses. but also i think it helps to internalize that nobody sees the rough drafts, nobody sees the duct tape. and nobody knows the perfect vision you'll be convinced you failed to meet. nobody has ever made a perfect thing, and no one ever will. who wants to be perfect, anyway? godfeels wouldn't be what it is if i wasn't willing to let it be messy. if i'd tried to do it better, it never would have gotten done, and nothing i'm doing now would have even conceptually gotten to exist.

also, it's okay to abandon shit when it stops feeling good. i have so many unfinished books kicking around from my 20s, dude. i feel bad about some of them, but ten years not finishing books is still ten years spent writing. it's actually quite rare for good ideas to result in finished works, because good ideas are cheap and they're not all for you. but you gotta keep trying anyway because sooner or later you'll catch a spark that has real gas, and if you've done the work you'll be ready for it. it'll feel like destiny. it'll feel like magic, how matched that idea is to your skill level. but it won't be magic, it'll be skill. if you hadn't put the work in to know how to follow that intuition, it'd be just as dead an end as everything else you never finished. you do the work so that when you get lucky you can take advantage of it. so in that context, writing is quite low stakes. if it's not good enough, fuck it, try something else!

anyway i hope there's some decent insight buried in here somewhere. thanks for such a good question!

[obitv]

i feel like. for the most part, pd fans dont think about the spirit world often. despite the ENTIRE ARC they spent there the ost people take away is mal = big evil guy and.. idk. the wispering woods Exists? but there is SO, SO MUCH going on there thats so much more important than youd think. just for starters

its a SERIES OF FLOATING ISLANDS IN A VOID, JUST LIKE FAUNA

mal? not so important there. his guide, ghoul (who we see a grand total of ONCE, in episode 10, and is mentioned again in episodes 11 and 12), is POTENTIALLY THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD whereas mal i wouldnt put above 50, and thats even a stretch (i will get to the why later)

domains! those floating islands? all domains! ghoul? technically owns most of the domains! what does that mean? HE KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS THERE AND CAN CONTROL IT.

also i think everyone forgets this but william was, visually, in his wisp form the entire time they were there

oh also ghoul has dozens if not hundreds of paintings of a man who might be jason king (ORIGAMI) in his castle.

so. ive taken the time to compile most of the information i could find on mal, ghoul, the spirit world, the wisps, an more into a handy post because im fucking insane (note: im only up to e13, the smoke samurai fight, in my rewatch. this IS where the majority of spirit world facts come from anyway, but anything i mention that isnt from those episodes wont be in as much detail bc my memory is ass. if you remember more things, let me know!) (also also, im going to avoid bringing up deadwood as much as i can because.... i think ive talked about it enough 😭)

starting with: GHOUL!

lets be honest. theres a very small chance you even remember this guy exists. but he is FASCINATING

to start with, he has a.. symbiotic relationship with mal, from what ive seen. he needs mal to interact with the physical world, mal needs him to go to the spirit world. ill go into this more in mals section

aside from that, mal is NOT the first physical vessel ghoul's taken. its not clear when he began working with mal, or how many forms he had before, but he's one of many

(also just a note because it can definitely be confusing... ghoul and mal seem to share control over the castle, but before seeing that mal is waiting for them in the dining room everyone was focused on ghoul and mal was barely brought up. its not clear if the things they see in the castle before going in to mal were his choice or ghouls but... ill include the paintings here)

on that note: the paintings!

what the fuck is going on in there

so. yeah. ghoul has.. dozens. and i mean DOZENS, hundreds if you count that they repeat over and over, of paintings featuring a man with "blond hair and chiselled jawline" in various important historical events. they line the walls of the upstairs corridor (the one that seems endless) and are never brought up again

do i think this is jason king? well im not convinced they ARENT... i will touch on this again later just keep it in mind

jumping back to domains, ghoul seems to have.. some degree of control over all of them. at least in the part of the spirit world he rules over, which i assume is. why he rules it. going by the king stuff its like. he owns all the land and "rents" it out to other spirits

rent is a nicer word, since he can CURSE PEOPLE to control domains and dictate how they behave

thats why the carnival is evil, if you remember. ghoul cursed the carnival skeleton (the REAL groundskeeper) to rule the domain and attack anyone who entered

what the fuck

also ghoul is a king

when looking for ghoul in ashes book, despite the very low roll they got some VERY important info: ghoul (who, when we see him, is comapred to antivenom from spiderman) -

this guy

HE WAS A HUMAN KING. his name is mentioned ALL THE WAY through ashes book, from front to back. a picture of a man in royal garb, was labelled with his name

something.. happened. that turned him from that spirit world king to a monstrosity.

its also never made clear if the man in the paintings is ghoul? we dont get a description of the kings face in the book and we dont get a description of the mans clothes

also, finally: when theyre in the physical world, mal and ghoul essentially share a body, with the body turning into That Thing ^^ when ghoul is in control. ghoul HAS to take control to open portals to the spirit world - he does it to william, and cantrip mentions it too when they interrogate her

he also appears separately from mal when they take william to the spirit world, but we dont see him at all in any other domains so thats a small sample size

BUT he Does have a fucking. encyclopedic knowledge of domains (which ill talk about later). he "knows all of these places [domains]"

NEXT: MAL!

where do i fucking start.

basic mal facts: asshole, british, very powerful, knows far too much about the spirit world to make any sense

just a basic overview of his powers, btw:

he can create illusions, float/fly (in the spirit world, at least), ghostshape, go intangible, and mayyybe has some sort of connection to earth or gravity powers because theres one point where he makes the ground beneath someone burst up but also that mightve been a weird ghostshaping trick and im honestly too scared to think about that

basically he seems to have most of williams powers + illusions and whatever that ground trick was. the only things we havent seen are invisibilty (which considering mechanically its just a flavouring of an advantage which isnt technically a power, makes sense) and the wisp form, though id consider the ghoul transformation to b the equivalent of that

oh in case you forgot he can also FREEZE. TIME. william isnt affected by this but im not sure if that was because mal wanted him to see what happened or because spirit shenanigans

also little aside but while williams powers manifest as wispy blue flames, mals are always black lightning (his ghostshaping, most noticeably)

the biggest mal question is.. how does he. know all that shit? youd expect ghoul to be the one who actuall has the knowledge but mal is ALWAYS the one they deal with

now you may be wondering: why is this an issue? well the thing is. we dont actually know ANYTHING about mal. we dont know where he comes from, what he wants, how he met ghoul, if his powers are his own or all come from ghoul... none of it

what we can ASSUME: mal was alive when he made some sort of deal with ghoul, because he obviously had a physical body. my personal theory is that mal is (one of?) the previous owner of ashe's book, since so far that's the only thing we've seen that allows you to summon spirits and allow them to possess you, and its full of references to ghoul. and quite honestly the thought that theres MULTIPLE books like that is terrifying. so

ok i actually just came up with that one on the spot but if mal had a better understanding of the language the book is in than ashe and wasnt so afraid to use it then actually him knowing a shitton about the spirit world makes so much sense. what the fuck

bizly bizlychannel youre prying that theory from my fucking corpse im in love with it now.

so. yeah. presumably, mal and ghoul made some sort of deal, because they work together. its not clear if mal is working to get william on his side by his own volition or if ghoul wants him to, or if its like a "ghoul brought it up and mal decided to go for it because hes better at talking and also isnt a horrifying monster" but whatever. unlike william and the wisps (amazing band name) who fight fucking constantly because william never ASKED for his powers, mal is comfortable with them

another thing mal seems to have control over is ghouls castle. he lays out the red carpet and makes every door lead to the dining room and also makes it impossible to leave

specifically, irt all the doors going to the dining room, bizly said "if he can control this castle and where it goes, thats what he wouldve done"

the corridor upstairs (without the carpet, with the paintings) also goes on literally forever. you cant go back once you walk far enough you have to go through a door. i have no idea if this was mal or ghouls choice

another thing! specifically layed out on the walls next to the carpet ("things he specifically wanted them to see") is an ornate dagger in a glass case. which vyncent with a gun steals but i dont think is brought up again ??? also the wording made me feel like there shouldve been more items listed but since condi immediately started stealing he just didnt include the rest ?? unsure

this is just a weird thing to note but theres like these freaky black tendrils that grab the table and hold it down when dakota tries to flip it. i dont know what to do with this information its just there

when william confronts mal on how much the spirits seem to hate him and ghoul, mal says "that's not what im here for" and, when pressed, says thats "a conversation for another day"

DOMAINS! AND THE SPIRIT WORLD IN GENERAL!

first: basics

the spirit world is, from what we've seen, a collection of floating islands over a void. these islands seem to all be "domains", places that are controlled by special spirits

the spaces between domains is the dead zone! this is where people go when they die, like 99% of the time. going there without special means (the hot air balloon, the carriage) will kill you.

so, how do you get a domain? ah. good... question....

one way is to kill whoever currently owns it. then its yours! congrats! you can alsp give away domains, but the only time we've directly seen this happen was the groundskeeper who was also cursed at the same time and ghoul seems to still have some control over the carnival anyway??? unclear

which leaves. william fucking wisp. because he has a domain! i am not getting into it here because ive said it all already but its there

also a little worth noting that williams domains seems to be shaped subconsciously without him even knowing it was there

i honestly cant speculate much more on williams domain because we just. dont have the answers. i could ask domain questions all fucking day like "did the wisps give william a domain" or "by being a powerful spirit did he just get an empty one or was one created just for him" etc etc we have no way of knowing

domains we know about: williams graveyard, the carnival, ghouls castle, the wispering woods (perhaps a series of domains? unknown), and the tricksters... house thing. do not ask me what the chaos zone is, i dont know and it scares me. if i had to guess itd be a series of. well. chaotic domains perhaps all partially ruled by the trickster but i also dont have ANY trickster lore written down bar "has a domain" so ill come back to that another day

and the obligatory deadwood mention: from what we can gather, the woods surrounding deadwood are where the barriers between the physical and spirit worlds are thinnest. specifically the area william died in was brought up which is totally linked to Everything about him

the wispering woods, in ashes book, is described as a "sanctuary" or "oasis". barely anybody has ever seen it and come back to say what it was like

ok bonus fact time. i dont know where to put these

WILLIAMS DAD? MAD FUCKING SUS

when they first talk to mal in his domain, he says the phrase "william! be a sport, be a pal, be my friend." its specifically noted that william recognises that phrase as something his dad said to him a lot as a child

mal is also pretty much.. the only person to call william "wisperer" consistantly. but for that phrase he said william

additionally, this entire. interaction between bizly and charlie

ill go crazy if i dont bring that up. so its here

AND! FINALLY! JASON MOTHERFUCKING KING!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT HUH?

in williams party city doritos induced fever dream (i am not talking about that ghost. i refuse) he sees the spirit world (floating islands) and he sees a throne made out of paper. this reads very clearly like a reference to origami/jason king, since hes dead at the start of the story

also i just want to say there IS a rolled where they say how jason died but theyre laughing really hard so i have absolutely no idea what theyre saying all i can hear is "dickass" im so sorry

so yeah. with that image in mind, hearing ghoul be described as a king (who HAS A CASTLE), and having so many paintings of a man who sounds similar to jason (am i reaching? maybe. but hes also the only prominent dead figure who already has connections to spirit world royalty and hes blond so let me have this) is just like. insane coincidence

i have nothing i can really prove here, because have o idea HOW jason an ghoul could be connected. but they are. i know it. believe me

thanks for reading this far it took me 2 hours to compile it all. if you have anything to add esp from later episodes PLEASEEEE PLEASE DO also if you wanna discuss anything i mentioned here i am always down.

[thesweetestdevotion]

please can u do a tutorial on how to channel or do more intuitive readings ourselves?

What a nice request! thank you!

Im gonna be honest, i dont know if i can give you a tutorial on how to channel/read as everybody's energy is different and we all have different abilities. I can run you through my own personal process though! That's not to say that mine is the best one for you (or anyone really) but maybe it can give you some insight on how I channel/read and inspire you a little! Here we go!!:

I shuffle my deck until I am called to stop. if i had just done a reading right before I'll snap my fingers 2-3 times as a way to clear the past energy/make space for the new one.

I roll my dice one by one (three, 12-sided dice. Planets, Zodiac Signs, 12 Houses) I dont always use them fyi. Once theyre rolled out i begin to shuffle my deck, I only take cards that jump out but also they just have to feel right as well, even if i cant see the card yet theres like a force that pulls me to the right cards and lets me know which ones are relevant/not.

I lay my cards out and begin to read and connect energies. It's very important to know the meanings of the tarot, and also be familiar with their traditional symbolism. But its also good to know when to use your intuitive gifts, theres no need to always attach yourself to the cookie cutter meanings if you dont feel called to. Its also good to be able to connect all of the cards into a coherent "story" where they're able to build off of each other. If you feel the meaning of a card doesn't resonate with the overall energy of the reading, It's usually spirit guiding you to use your intuitive skills to find meaning in another way.

As for channeling, I really can't make a guide as to how to do this. I've seen some readers channel by writing down messages, others close their eyes and let images come to them, amongst many other methods. Personally, I dont need to do anything in order to channel messages, often as soon as I start a reading I get channels. I'll very often get channels even while doing chores or reading a book. I see images, colors, scenes, hear sounds, music, voices. I even have sensations in my body (heartaches, throat closing up, sudden tension, etc...) I'm someone who is very in tune with my body/mind and im naturally able to tell what feelings belong to me vs not. I don't know how to guide someone to do this if im honest. I think some readers can and others not. That doesn't make you a bad reader, or like your messages have something lacking in them because of this, so don't feel discouraged if you aren't able to do stuff like that.

Also, things will come to you as you read over time. You'll stumble upon new methods, find what you like to do, read at quicker paces, etc.. Tarot is a skill, and like all other skills it needs to be honed. So practice, practice, practice.

Other (kinda crazy) stuff i do to supplement my practice (not necessary at all, just personal stuff):

sleep with my tarot decks near me/under my pillow

cover my head with a cloth/blanket. I just lay it over me no special method.

let my tarot decks charge (many different ways to do this, mostly i just let them rest in favor of using another deck, some people use crystals, smoke, moonlight. Its really up to the reader)

I don't read all the time, i take breaks. Dont wanna deplete my energy

If channels are getting annoying (which they often can for me) writing them down somewhere, even if theyre nonsensical, helps a lot.

Keep my body physically fit/healthy, as much as I can. This is an astrological method. The 6th house of health/work/daily routines/hygiene/stomach directly opposes the 12th house of the subconscious mind/dreams/sleep/intuition/secrets/anything hidden or mysterious. If one house is out of balance the other one is too. So keeping one in check helps me keep my intuition clear, also works both ways (nurturing my intuition/getting rest helps my health). This might not be something everyone includes in their practice, but it personally keeps me very grounded.

Have boundaries. you don't have to tap into all energies, especially if they repell you. It's important to be aware of this.

General Advice:

Have conversations! dont be afraid to ask other readers for help (hehe as you did now, good job!) or for guidance. Finding a great teacher/guru to help you is a wonderful gift, honestly wish i had done this as well

It's okay and normal to be wrong, no one is infallible or omnipresent. we are human, and ultimately we might be tapping in to a spiritual source, but it will always be interpreted by our biased and limited human minds. it's why its important to be okay with mistakes, and also important to find readers who resonate with your energy and vibe. Don't force yourself to listen to someone who makes you feel icky!! its not good vibes at all!

If you all have any further questions like this, drop them in my inbox or here on this post. Thank you again to the anon who sent this in! love ya<3

[clockworkcheetah]

*shaking your shoulders* hiiiii tell me everything about your thought process behind writing your incredible bangfic the bad dog nerves, inspiration characters writing EVERYTHING it's so good tell us more

hiii getting to talk about my creations!!! ahhh

ok so cause its been a couple of months and my memory is nothingness aka im a little hazy on some stuff. buuuuuut i distinctly remember several things that heavily inspired TBDN im just gonna run my thoughts as they come so i apologise if its incoherent. i am also putting this under a readmore for the sake of everyone. and because spoilers for the fic

first inspo was deathmark2 cause it got its english translation earlier this year (i love deathmark but ill say everytime i talk of it its very difficult to recommend cause it needs so many content warnings). im very much the kinda person who can and will mash fandoms together- ill make those parallels. god cant stop me. basically dm is what got the ball rolling for me- spirits and possession and influenced moods. its only inspired pretty loosely by dm- very much the general concept/brainrot for both fandoms kinda deal. also more horror elements in dghda yes pls

another thing that inspired it was the doctor who ep 'midnight'. that ep was chilling- i think about how you can tell ten is fully awake and aware during his possession and it stuck with me- a+ acting from david. its a fear of mine being fully awake/aware whilst having no control of your body/immobilised and you cant do anything but wait for the inevitable. granted todd leaned more towards anger, or like the five stages of grief, than fear. but that felt more him also cause it went on longer than a few hours (or rather he expresses his fear through anger/lashing out) but i wanted that ugly rawness of it- hes nervous like a bad dog ay ayyyyyyy

(i sorta wish i went harder with it at the end with his scene with dirk, but alas he was burnt out and healing)

also tbh i just love scenes like that in media too. the character is right there! its so close and nobody is helping them so they gotta save their own ass and be a bitch about it

also i just kinda wanted more fics where dirk just fucks up?? like theres no hoops being jumped through to make what he said right (im not exactly a fan of this fanon!dirk where hes this saint who does no wrong/is always right/everyone else is to blame) so that was a goal in mind when writing this- dirk mostly, but also amanda to an extent of being wrong (not like in some horrible malicious way just. you made a bad call. u gotta live with it). also why todd was quicker to forgive farah (or at least be on better terms with her than the others- i really wish i included a convo between them aw well) granted these arent really specific to this fic- i like to have it in other fics, i need those two to fuck up. as well as todd getting to be angry/upset without this notion that he cant cause he did bad things therefore can only be bad, undeserving person forever cause thats how it works obviously (look if i wanted content of todd fucking up id watch the show lemme have something else with fics- ok ill stop being salty now asdfghjkl;)

i also really wanted the aftermath of what happened to be explored (i love the concept of possession/mindcontrol but shows kinda brush it off after the character is freed. like??? youre telling theyre all sunshine and fine now??? no way, theres gonna be a recovery period. aka todds body being weak from literally having zero nutrients, miru not taking care of the body, also learning to have control of his own body again

with the characters or i guess specifically project miru, she wasnt inspired by anything specific. i really like tragic but unsympathetic characters in media so wanted to have a try at it, and to explore the whole riggins' favouritism towards dirk and how the other projects may have felt. idk how well i pulled it off but i had fun writing her interactions with todd even if it was mostly them being dicks to eachother and being a dick to everyone

ok my brain is starting to run on empty so ill close up this haha.

im sure this is universal but when i got the idea of this fic i had the immediate The Scenes™️ for it. they were: amandas confrontation and realising that oh shit it isnt todd the whole time that scene was vivid in my head (also fave scene to write!!) and the other is the final scene with dirk and todd and todd breaking down. todds kinda the 'strong' one of the two (to dirk) and the caretaker- so someone takes care of him and lets him be upset with everyone

but yeah!!! some of my thoughts behind the creation of TBDN 💖🥰🧡 theres stuff i wish i included in the fic and ideas i had after i had already posted but im happy with it regardless. at its core i just wanted some sweet sweet todd whump i wanna traumatise that little man

[heliianth]

actually bc im never gonna shut up abt it while im still on this im gonna ramble abt botw and totk and maybe how i wouldve written a sequel . & i will pay u money to listen i promise

my favoritest of totks ideas are what it expands from botw. botws whole atmosphere is drowned in quiet mourning. something bad has happened but it was a long time ago. it still hurts but theres nothing to be done now but move forward. something is still missing but all you can do is find something else. nobody has resources to rebuild and you can hear deafening echoes of better times but the alternative is giving up. you are in this frozen state of not quite moving on and not quite in despair. like the numbness stage of grief. and the pivotal element of all of that is that link is alone. like, oppressively alone. its the primary vehicle of conveying this mood. and its interesting because this can be read not only as what link is experiencing through the player but what zelda is feeling as she holds back ganon. its an interesting contrast to have zelda mature faster than link in the flashbacks, only for link to pull her the rest of the way by growing himself

and the reason why i so strongly adore the light dragon aspect of the plot is because it shows how attached to everything zelda has gotten. arguably, zelda held back ganon in botw because she loved link. in totk, she becomes the light dragon because she loves hyrule, which had previously been so unimaginably cruel to her. the crux of her character is learning that attachment is good. loving is good. you deserve to leave an imprint on the world in a shape of Your choosing instead of being another factory print on a paper. on a surface level, shes making the same choice, but the motivation and growth behind it is really powerful

i could waffle for literally ever about all that and the point is that totk takes these ideas and implements them really well through in-game worldbuilding and specifically zelda turning into the light dragon. i would occasionally get extremely emotional just seeing how things have expanded because it feels like the world is finally moving on. theres a catharsis in seeing hyrule finally heal after knowing its desolation so intimately, especially because the state of the land itself is such a strong parallel to the arcs of the two main characters, so you get the sense that not only can people move on, link and zelda specifically have started to as well. thats my favorite part

thats why i think its an odd choice that they decided on a time travel plot. if zelda HAS to be the one getting saved, if she cant be a companion in some way either via sheikah facetime or spirit tracks shenanigans or whatever, there are lots of ways to do this without her being magic fruit snacked ten bajillion years into the past. why spend all this effort intertwining her and link with the land, only to remove her from the equation and have no further growth? in botw its understandable that hyrule is stagnant and only changes when link does because zelda is stagnant and link is doing the one changing during the game. in totk its the opposite. there are lots of ways to do this with out Having to play as zelda (though honestly that would be the way id go about it)

also a lot of my own ideas have to do with the wasted potential of a place like the depths???? what the hell do you mean theres this mind bogglingly big cavern underneath the entirety of hyrule which mysterious people used to live in and it has almost no story relevance beside being a cool setpiece???????? I FEEL INSANE?!?!??!?!? there are so many good ideas in totk that never get expanded dude FUCK

i think no matter how much i speculate and draft my own preferences of how i wouldve liked totk to elaborate on the things it introduces i cant ever bring myself to present them like they couldve realistically happened and gotten thru the nintendo writing room simply bc of the games format. if it were up to me doing certain story missions would radically change the open world as events happened in real time and thats not the MO of the game's design philosophy. honestly totk's biggest enemy is the memory system and i need to kill it with fire