#THERE'S SO MUCH IRONY IN THIS HC
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THIS!!! MR. STANLEY "anomalies drawn to me" PINES and DR. STANFORD "i am drawn to the anomalies" PINES
Stan being the only non-bothered member of the Pines' about anomalies getting the most up close and personal looks at them is a vibe I LOVE.
Anyway I headcanon that he's the only person to ever see the Hide Behind and Ford finds that very frustrating.
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i just think spock has great mom friend potential tbh. strong contender for the cutest thing i've ever drawn
#(the irony of drawing this post on 3 hours of sleep is not lost to me)#star trek#star trek fanart#star trek tos#star trek the original series#spones#spones fanart#spock#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#i fully intended to just draw a funny thijg of bones going WOAUGH shit bc im sleep deprived and i get the wobbles but it ran away from me#bones x spock#im sleep deprived because i lost my 11pm coffee roulette yesterday... i suspect that my meds stack w caffeine#spock fanart#dust trek hcs#i like to think that spock needs less sleep bc vulcan but if he DOESN'T get that sleep hes absolutely zonked... let that guy catnap#bones on the other hand no matter how much sleep he gets if hes up hes up and naps do not agree w him at all#he'll get up feeling worse somehow (spock is SO good at napping tho it drives him insane)#jim naps like a dad at a school recital (any chair that isn't the captains chair is fair game)#this is mcspirk in spirit as always
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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if the store gets an outfit for devil, it'll probs be that knight's armor he typically has in games. but honestly? i'd really want them to bring back his priest robes from tk6
they're not afraid to port shit from tk6..... so pls.........
#✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc)#// there's so much irony here like my goodness#// but i also like to hc that he killed a priest & is now wearing his clothes as a form of mockery
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hi there I absolutely love your pony (and 1 goat) designs they are all amazing
I’m just curious, why did you decide to draw Grian as an Earth Pony, rather than a Pegasus when he’s often associated with flight?
Was it a thing where the fanon stuff was an after thought or was your drawing not cooperating with you at all? (As fellow artist I do understand that occurrence)
or just something else entirely?
it originally stemmed from me not usually drawing grian as an avian most of the time that quickly devolved into " hehe the irony of one of his parents being a unicorn, the other being a pegasus, and he just got the short end of the stick " was too funny for me to pass up
#beans bacon whiskey and lard#so.. something else entirely basically!#i know i draw grain w avian features Sometimes but i do not generally HC him as an avian. personally#while i did '' no thoughts head empty '' all their designs i still kept how i interpret them myself in all of them#its why bdubs is a bat pony despite his thing with sleeping. i love irony and the thought of a bat pony scared of the night..#its a lil funny :p#also i am aware bat ponies are not normally bright green. the only thing i rechecked from mlp canon#was for scar's wheelchair. canon mlp wheelchairs are so . odd. and i need to redesign scar's chair so bad#cause i did Not have fun drawing it nor does it actually look like itd function properly lol#that goes back to No Thoughts Head Empty though i just lifted the canon chair's design p much without a second thought#and i am now having seconds thoughts . rip! oh well oh darn guess i Have to draw horse scar again ohh nooo u_u#but yeah. hes an earth pony because i think its funny KJSNDVJKSDV
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which tragic character from ancient greek literature are you?
cassandra
you are cassandra from the trojan women by euripides and agamemnon by aeschylus. people have tried to silence you one too many times, but you are resilient. your own dignity and agency have always come first, but at a great cost. you know yourself and your inner strength, but that won't ever stop you from feeling completely alone in the world. sometimes simply enduring the pain won't be enough, no matter how hard you want it to be. above all, you must never lose your unwavering hope in mankind, even as the world forsakes you. it is what keeps you human.
#❝ let the melody save me ❞ → hcs#❝ the sun just goes on rising ❞ → ooc; queue#hooooooooooo the irony on that one is.#So Much but its SO true aaaa#( sometimes you poke around on uquiz for fun and sometimes you get bonked with the sad lol )
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JEALOUS SAE HEADCANONS PLEASEEEEE
Jealous hc
Characters: sae, rin, kaiser, hiori, karasu, shidou
m.list | rules
Note: hiiii how are youuu thank you for your request hihi I had other characters bc I felt like doing it for them too
Sae Itoshi
he’s too prideful to be jealous, or he thinks so
in fact he get pissed off easily, anyone being a little to friendly with you bother him and he already doesn’t like anyone so imagine
he’s not subtile, even if he thinks he is
he’ll get closer, talk like shit to the person who’s flirting with you in his eyes
roll his eyes, click his tongue, you name it
Suddenly he wants to go home or leave for another place
You never honestly never thought you'll see him like that since he's confident and trusts you
I think he just doesn't like people and so by extension he hates people talking to you
He likes to think he's the only one who can make you smile like that, beside your friends (he's not insane)
So seeing some nobody making you smile, or even worst : laugh makes him jealous
He’s not into pda to save his life i think, that’s something he keeps behind closed doors
But oh man how he likes to kiss you when it happens, just to remind everyone that you're taken and you're proud of it
Be prepared to hear about this, he’s a nagging mom at heart
“Are you done ?” you’d ask and magically, yes he is
he will sulk yes, but close to you at least
Rin Itoshi
Bare with him, he acts tough but deep down he wants to cry
Just like his brother, he will get closer, his arm will probably stay around your shoulders after that
But he won’t be mean to them, just kinda ignore them or send death glare if they get too close
No touching, even in a friendly way, don’t be ridiculous
I think he appreciates it if you put a stop yourself
He’s more insecure than he likes to admit and it prove him that he can trust you
He’s gonna be clingy af though
When you two are finally alone, Rin won’t say a world but glue himself to you
He’ll need reassurance for sure :( this boy has abandon issues
Michael Kaiser
He’s an asshole (lovingly)
He let people flirt with you if it helps their ego and mock them for how long you can think, it’s almost an inside joke for him
The irony is that he’s really possessive, so it’s all fun and game until it’s not some loser that try to hit on you
Not that he feels threaten, please
But he still don’t wanna play with them and he doesn’t want you nearby
If you just happen to be friendly with someone then he’s bothered
What do you mean by being this happy to see someone else ?
He’ll ask a million questions and whine about it before brush it off as if he doesn’t care
It takes a lot to deal with him, his reaction depend on his phase
If he feels low then he’ll be a nightmare, you had to be sorry for someone hitting on you and tell him he’s your one and only
If he’s his confident self, it’s almost like he doesn’t care and let it happen
Being with him is a roller coaster
Tabito Karasu
Best man if is speak
He’s mature and he knows he’s projecting his own insecurity when he’s jealous, so he doesn’t make a big deal about it
He’s not gonna ruin the moment so he just keep his cool and act normally
Deep down you can feel there’s some awkwardness so you try to ask him silently, with your eyes or smile, if he’s ok
He loves you so much he feels dumb to even be jealous the second you do that honestly
Expect small pda like holding hands above your knees, playing with your fingers or the em of your shirt/ skirt
He’ll talk to you about it on your way back home or when you two are comfortable at yours or his place
He knows it’s normal to feel like this sometimes but it’s normal to reach for comfort right ? he’s not shy to ask
Nothings best than you playing with his hair, laying on your chest or thighs
Ryusei Shidou
He’s unhinged he scares me
I think he’s the most jealous among them
You’re his, that’s it so, he may seem lay back (and weird) but he’s cautious with every person coming near you
I hc him with abandon issues as well (give us his back story please and make it worth it compare to some character) so he’s always scared of you leaving
It’s still more in a possessive than an insecure way, he just can’t take it if he considered that someone is too close to you
He gets touchy oh my, he’s all over you, can’t keep his hands to himself just to let them know that you’re taken
He’ll talk to them straight in the eyes while his hand run up and down your thighs, he’s not ashamed of anything
You have to put a stop to it but always expected something more while coming home
Yo Hiori
He’s cute and I don’t think people take him seriously enough
You’re amazing and beautiful and fun to talk to, people already asked you why him
He kinda has war flashback ngl
Obviously he also think that he’s not enough and probably get jealous/sad quickly if someone get close to you and is really friendly
He’s scared to take things into hand I think, so he’ll just ask for you two to leave
He won’t tell you how he feels, he’s sure it’s not important enough to bring it up but you always ask him anyway
You’re so sorry that it happens at all honestly, you never want him to feel like this
He never ask for it but you’re clingy and want to do nothing with him, spending some quality time together, watching him play game while you stay on your phone or even sitting in his laps
It always make him feel better and remind him that you won’t leave him so soon
I hope you liked it ♡
#blue lock x reader#blue lock headcanons#bllk hcs#bllk headcanons#bllk x reader#sae itoshi x reader#sae x reader#sae headcanons#rin itoshi x reader#rin headcanons#rin hcs#shidou x reader#shidou headcanons#hiori x reader#hiori yo#hiori headcanons#karasu tabito x reader#karasu x reader#karasu hcs#kaiser x reader#michael kaiser#kaiser hcs#blue lock#x reader
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OLD FOLKS HOME ↪ age gap hcs
the people you love & the shit they do that reminds you of the dreaded Gap (tm). characters included: leon kennedy, chris redfield, jill valentine, claire redfield, rebecca chambers no warnings to speak of. remember kids, if you're gonna date people in their 30s and 40s, you're gonna have different cultural contexts and, most likely, different senses of humor.
Leon is eight levels of irony deep. He started doing Old Guy Shit just to mess with you, and now it's all come full circle.
It turns out he actually likes watching the weather channel. He’s monitoring storms that are miles and miles away from you, pointing out the feeder bands like it’s some kind of sporting event.
He's genuinely invested in Ice Road Truckers. He asks you to TiVo it for him when he's gone. You do not have TiVo. In fact, you're pretty sure no one still has TiVo.
Or you were, until Leon once again committed to the bit and got TiVo.
Really, genuinely annoying about old movies, actors, and directors.
”What do you mean you don’t know who Robert Redford is? The Candidate? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? C’mon. He was even in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You’ll know him when you see him.”
At least you get movie dates out of it.
Movie dates that he will pepper with trivia about the film, by the way. You don't need the commentary track. He is the commentary.
I'm so, so sorry about this. 🤪 is his favorite emoji. I know. I'm sorry.
Chris cannot fucking hear. To be honest, I think most of them have some degree of hearing loss - but Chris in particular seems to have very subjective hearing loss.
Yes, you were just having a full-fledged conversation. No, he didn’t hear you ask him to take out the trash. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t hear you. Sorry, you were standing on his right - come on, you know that’s his bad side.
Explains basic technology to you because he’s not sure if you know what it is. Then, in the same breath, crams in so many military acronyms he may as well be reciting the alphabet. Does not explain the acronyms.
Like, yeah, Chris. I know what a landline is. Dial-up internet, too. Now, what the fuck is an ORE?
Have you ever gotten ‘ok’ in response to a nude? You’re about to. Completely demoralizing, by the way.
He didn't know you wanted him to compose a poem dedicated to your beauty, okay? He tries to get better, but winds up sending shit like 'wow 👍'
Does the dad thing where he insists he's not interested in watching what's on TV and then stands with his hands on his hips in the middle of the living room, enthralled by the show.
Jill does not understand your music. She will not make an attempt to understand your music. If you see her tapping her foot to the beat, no you do not. She is not interested in expanding her musical horizons.
She only bought you tickets to that concert because she knew you would love it. She only went with you because you’re cute when you’re so into this stuff. She only bought that t-shirt because it would be a good souvenir, and eventually, a good grease rag.
Generalized distrust of social media. Do not show her a tiktok. She will ignore the video and lecture you about data safety. Jill, please. Just watch the fucking cat video.
And then she turns around and opts in to literally everything on the McDonald's app.
If there’s a rewards program, she’s in. Already sold. Didn’t even read the fine print. All that shit she was telling you about how you need to be more careful is right out the window for some free fries.
Anything for the thrill of a good deal. If she had more time on her hands, she would be couponing.
Buys in bulk. No, it doesn't matter if the two of you could not physically eat that much rice. It's cheaper to buy it like this. It's fine. It's good for you.
Gotta stock up on non-perishables, too. You gotta be prepared in case something happens. "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."
Claire cannot stop shopping from QVC. She's in the kitchen with David. It Takes Two with Mary and Sandra? Wrong. It actually takes three. Mary, Sandra, and Claire.
Infomercials have got her by the throat. You have so many gadgets and gizmos around your home that are just collecting dust.
Gets wine drunk and goes online shopping. Legitimately does not remember what she’s bought.
Absolutely will not let you open the packages. (“Some of this stuff could be for you, you know.” “Claire, last time it was a 10,000 count package of googly eyes.” “And I used all 10,000. You still haven’t found them all.”)
Uses every piece of technology until it’s about to fall apart. Absolutely not interested in having the latest and greatest. She’s one of those people who insists that as long as her phone can make calls and send texts, she doesn’t need a new one.
Speaking of texts. Somehow, she got it into her head that a read receipt is equivalent to a reply. She doesn't get what the problem is. You know she saw your text. Why does she have to reply?
Genuinely doesn't mean anything malicious by it - but also, if you did that to her, you would never hear the end of it.
Rebecca legitimately has facebook humor. They all have some degree of facebook humor, but she's got it the worst.
Will blow up your notifications tagging you in shit that is just straight up not funny. I’m talking full on tagging you with “😂😂😂”
Unironically sent you a minion meme once.
It's not that she's disconnected. She teaches undergrads. She knows what’s in, even if it’s only from the periphery. It’s just that she doesn’t care. She has no interest in keeping up with trends just for the sake of it. She’s so used to being the youngest person in the room and having to keep up expectations that she just absolutely does not care anymore. She's glad she's not one of the kids anymore.
If it made her laugh it made her laugh, her enjoyment isn’t shackled by feelings of shame!!
If you have a group chat on any platform with your friends please invite her. She's just happy to be included. She'll make a discord if she has to, and she'll brag about it to her students.
Yeah, she says pupper and doggo. She does. Look at her.
#resident evil headcanons#resident evil x reader#leon kennedy x reader#chris redfield x reader#jill valentine x reader#claire redfield x reader#rebecca chambers x reader#resident evil fanfic#resident evil#leon kennedy
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The wish spell worked.
Pairing: Astarion x F!Reader/Tav
Summary/Setting: 10 years post BG3. Follows my HC for spawn Astarion arc. See my other fics for more information, but otherwise the title speaks for itself. :)
Rating/Warnings: PG / allusions to sexual behaviors / fluff / in-game spoilers / lightest bit of angst if you squint but not really / this is self-indulgent af and idc / so sweet it will rot your teeth
Word Count: 2.2 K
A/N: HAPPY 400 FOLLOWERS POST! Thank you to everyone who likes my stories and provides encouragement. I love you all! I originally wanted to post this as a New Years Eve/Day special, but I couldn't get it quite right by then. After several reiterations, this is what we finally have! Hope it was worth the wait and multiple edits for you guys! :)
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If anyone had told Astarion Ancunin a decade ago that he would one day hold Gale Dekarios on a pedestal nearly as high as the one on which he held his darling Tav, the immortal elf might have actually died from laughter. The strange irony and wicked life lessons of fate were not lost on the retired rogue. Unbelievably and annoyingly, Astarion eventually found himself indebted to the wizard in a way he could never repay.
The wish spell worked.
It had taken years for Gale to feel absolutely ready to cast the spell. Astarion waited — exasperated, impatient, and impetuous — for what felt like the longest ten years of his ageless lifetime to be given the gift of mortality.
More than once, in the pale elf’s tearful fits of frustration, he accused the wizard of intentionally stringing him along or simply not having the skills to perform such a spell and not wanting to admit it. More than once, you had to calmly remind your husband of the great lengths Gale had gone to find information regarding the act and the even greater risk to both the vampire and the wizard if the spell was not cast perfectly and mindfully.
It had been a long decade, waiting for that impossible possibility, but the wait had been more than worth it.
Just over ten years after you met that silver-haired rake on the beach, Astarion was miraculously returned to his living, breathing, heart beating, mortal elven form. Surprisingly, not much changed about his appearance. Most notably, his eyes turned a gold-flecked green, and his complexion took on a constant soft pink undertone, permanently tinged by the circulation of his own blood by his own heart. That beautiful undertone caused a delightful blush to creep across his cheeks and ears whenever you teased or aroused him, and you took an even more significant liking to both these behaviors, just to watch that gorgeous rosiness creep across his skin.
And while you dearly loved that blush, your favorite part of the change had certainly been the steady beating of his heart. You would rest your head on your lover’s chest for hours to savor the sound if he let you, wrapped tightly in the new found warmth of his long limbs.
While you became obsessed with Astarion’s steadily thrumming heart, he’d become obsessed with his reflection. As soon as he’d been able to see himself, your husband had taken to having you sit on his lap while you primped and preened. He would stare into the looking glass with you for long lengths of time, his limbs coiled around your waist and chin often resting on your shoulder as he studied the mirror with a besotted, hazy smile on his face.
After a few weeks of this, you finally asked your silver-haired husband why he seemed positively obsessed with this new behavior. Astarion’s response had floored you.
“Darling, in my over 200 years, I never imagined I would have a love of my own, nor did I ever imagine what we would look like together. I couldn’t have envisioned such a thing even if I thought it a possibility or wanted to. I simply couldn’t envision myself at all. But now seeing it? I want to commit everything to memory exactly as it is… because it’s the most precious vision in the world to me.”
And really how else could you respond to that apart from kissing your sappy, bleeding heart of a husband and allowing him to continue the practice?
Of course, the two of you behaving as innocent love birds hadn’t been the only thing Astarion wanted to see in the mirror. On more than one occasion, he’d easily charmed you into the throes of passion in perfect view of a reflective surface. Your husband’s darker, more carnal half had become obsessed with watching you two in the act and it certainly thrilled you to know he was trying to commit those sensual sights to memory. You were quite happy to oblige.
As such, you’d soon found yourself carrying the byproduct of one of your many erotic couplings.
“That was a big one.” Astarion murmurs, and you see a smile creeping across the reflection of his face in the mirror as he glances down and runs his long fingers across the swell of your abdomen. His arms are looped around you as you sit front of the vanity mirror, placing the final touches on your appearance.
You agree with a gentle hum, moving a hand to your pregnant belly and rubbing circles on the stretch of skin, hoping to calm the young life stirring within. You coo softly to the rolling babe as you finish your primping, “Surely you aren’t thinking about breaking out of there yet, my little love. You have a few more months to go.”
Astarion’s now-warm hands cover yours as the little one seems to do somersaults in response to your voice, causing you to wince slightly as they jolt against your ribs. He presses a tender kiss into your shoulder and chuckles, “This one is strong like their mother and impatient like their father… we may be in for a spot of trouble in a few years, my love.”
You laugh in response as you stand with a pitiable amount of effort and quite a bit of assistance from the supportive arm of your husband. “I believe you’re right… but surely we’ve taken on scarier and more difficult things than a stubborn babe.”
Astarion hums in agreement before pressing a kiss to your swollen stomach, which is hovering just in front of him now, “Surely, darling. Now let us all go say hi to Uncle and Auntie Ravengard. I’m positively famished.”
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You are almost out of breath as you walk the final steps toward the entry of the Duke’s home. Astarion had practically begged you to take the carriage all the way through Wyll’s estate, but you waved him off, adamant that a bit light exercise would be good for the baby. The walkway was fully paved, how hard could it be?
As it turned out, you’d severely overestimated your abilities. Though it was just under a quarter mile to the front doors of the manor when you’d decided to exit the carriage, you were no longer the young, lithe woman that traversed the wilds with a petulant vampire a decade ago. The weight of your belly slowed you down more than you would admit. Astarion implored you, more than once and with growing concern and exasperation, to return to carriage. You refused each time, forcing the driver to follow behind at a snail’s pace.
“Gods, I hope this child does not take on your stubborn streak. I will be constantly overrun in my own home.” Astarion huffs, dabbing at the few beads of sweat on your brow with a silken handkerchief as he helps you climb the small flight of stairs at the entryway of Wyll’s home. He rolls his eyes as you laugh, breathlessly, and lean into him for support as he presses a kiss at the meeting point between your cheek and ear. “But, my sweet, as much as I would have preferred we stayed in the coach, you know I adore the way you look with your cheeks all flushed after a bit of… exertion.”
It’s your turn to roll your eyes at your husband as he traces his hand over your flushed cheek, his expression practically brimming with desire. The flush on the tips of his ears is a telltale sign of his salacious thoughts. If he had it his way, he’d be dragging you into the carriage right there for a quickie. But, he knew you two were nearly running late for dinner with the Duke and forced himself to push all desires aside. For now.
Wyll and his beautiful wife, Euphemia, greet you with a flurry of excitement and hugs. Their two twin toddlers run around in the entryway, a nursemaid trailing behind them.
Wyll wears a kind, soft smile as he addresses the both of you, “Dinner should be just about ready… shall we make our way there? I hope you two don’t mind. We are having work done in the dining room — my beautiful flower insisted upon remodeling — so dinner will have to be served in the Great Hall.”
As the four of you head towards the larger of the two dining areas in the Duke’s estate, Astarion wraps his arm around your waist and runs his hand along the side of your nearly bursting belly once again. There is a subtle pause at the doors of the Great Hall, and your husband’s eyebrows crinkle in a silent question before you gently press a kiss into his cheek and whisper, “Happy Rebirth Day, my love.”
Today marked one year since Gale successfully cast the Wish Spell.
The oak doors burst open to reveal the faces of everyone you hold dear, all of them shouting, “Surprise!” in unison. Wyll and Euphemia are laughing with delight as the four of you enter the room. Astarion is obviously shocked and overwhelmed as he takes the scene in, but a toothy smile is plastered across his face nonetheless. The elf could not believe that the significance of the date had slipped his mind, nor could he believe that you all went through such great lengths to plan a spectacle on his behalf.
Everyone showered your husband with a plethora of well-wishes and congratulations. The food was heavenly, and the silver-haired elf dined to his heart’s content. Just as Astarion loved to watch you both in the mirror, you adored seeing him eat and savor real food. You’d pursued cooking as a new hobby in the past few months, just to watch the delight on his face as he tasted any number of delectable things you placed in front of him.
“Have you thought of any names for the baby?” Karlach asks through a mouthful of food as she continues to tear into the lamb shank in front of her.
You smile knowingly. This topic has piqued everyone’s interest and they all turn their gazes in your direction, “Yes, actually… Astarion picked it out. It works well for a boy or a girl, and I think it’s an excellent choice.”
The elf smiles shyly, that subtle flush of his cheeks and ears crawling across his face as you turn your gaze to him and urge him on, “Go on, my love, and tell them the gorgeous name you picked.”
“I… I decided we should name the baby Gale.” Astarion reveals, his hand immediately moving to graze against your swollen stomach as he meets the flabbergasted expression of the wizard sitting across the table with a round-eyed, nervous gaze, “If… that’s okay by you.”
Gale coughs in surprise, nearly choking on the wine he’d just sipped from a goblet. For a moment, you watch as he blinks away tears. You are beginning to truly believe he might leap across the table and tackle your husband in a hug when he rapidly nods instead.
The wizard’s voice cracks with emotion as he speaks, “Y-yes. Thank you, Astarion. That is such an honor.”
Ten years of friendship between two men that once seemed entirely at odds with one another, honored by a namesake given to a precious babe. Fate was a truly remarkable thing.
“It’s an honor you are quite deserving of, Gale.” You respond, reaching your hand across the table to give the wizard’s hand an affectionate squeeze. “May our child have just as much heart, wit, and skill as their namesake. We will be truly blessed.”
A cake with candles is brought about at the end of the meal and placed in front of Astarion as everyone sings an off-key birthday tune. While your husband always seemed to thrive on being held at the center of attention, you noticed with a bit of amusement that his ears and cheeks were flushed pink as everyone focused their eyes upon him.
While the others continue to sing, you lean closer to your husband and whisper, “I know we will never surpass the wish you made last time, my Star. But go on and make one anyway.”
Astarion’s gaze roams around the room, taking in all the friends he collected this past decade. Then he turns to you and grins, pausing to etch every bit of this moment into his memory before closing his eyes and blowing the candles out to a cacophony of inebriated cheers and whoops.
The elf wished for the only thing he could: a healthy child and a long life with his little love. Fate had already gifted him with more than he could have imagined for himself back in those dark, dank dungeons he once called home. Astarion found himself in want of nothing but the health and happiness of the woman beside him and the safety of their offspring.
Though he knew it was another selfish ask, and he’d been blessed far more than he had ever expected, Astarion prayed to the gods that he once never thought would answer to grant him this last wish. And just in case they did not hear him the first time, he would be sure to make the same wish every year, until his very last.
#astarion fanfic#astarion x tav#baulders gate astarion#astarion fic#baulders gate 3#bg3 fanfic idea#bg3 fanfiction#baulders gate tav#astarion x reader#astarion x you#astarion fluff#astarion x female tav#astarion x f!tav#astarion x f!reader#astarion x female reader#astarion reader insert#self indulgent#self indulgence at its finest#bg3 fluff#so sweet your teeth will rot#dadstarion#astarion romance#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 astarion
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NEW HC MY FROM WONDERLAND:
— People in Wonderland are extremely sincere, they take everything literally, so much so that Red's irony is kind of frowned upon (which is precisely why she continues to be so ironic), so, I have for myself that in Wonderland, if you drink a tea that is the favorite of the person you love, even if you hate that tea, it's a love language, because any normal Wonderland person will say that they didn't like the tea (focus on the extremely sincere) but you, to prove to the person that you love them so much, you drink that tea that you hate, without complaining, acting normal.
It's basically a "hey, I like you, and I miss you, and I think I love you, and I'm willing to put up with anything for you, bebe" just in action, it's normally used by people who want to start a relationship, and they kind of adopt this custom throughout the marriage as a proof of love, and it has to be a tea that the other person loves passionately but you don't.
(I'm going to start demanding rights from my hc's hahaha it's serious)
#descendants rise of red#descendants: the rise of red#descendants the rise of red#rise of red#the rise of red#red of hearts#bridget of hearts#red descendants#descendants bridget#redcharming#glassheart#glassrose#charminghearts#red x chloe#chloe x red#bridget x ella#bridgella
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.ᐟ๋࣭ ⭑ OUTLAW!CHRIS HCS
outlaw!chris… who’s silver tongue is as sharp as his aim. he finds himself charming his way out of unnecessary trouble. his swooning voice is almost too perfectly compatible with his pearly smirk and smoulder. the ladies don’t know any better than to let him off, fantasising over future relations with the cowboy.
outlaw!chris… who loves riling you up with the silly little nicknames. you could have him at gunpoint with nowhere to go and he’d still call you ‘sweet thing’ with a wide grin. the name itself comes from his profound sweet tooth for honey sweets and pastries.
outlaw!chris… who still upholds certain morals. Chris would never kill an innocent being or take more than he needs. he holds a great hatred for those who make prey of the weak and unfortunate, which is why he tends to find himself rivaled with many other outlaws.
outlaw!chris… who has a deadly shot and only misses on rare ocassions when he’s heavily distracted. yet, there’s no appeal in shooting to kill, Chris will always strike a legs or arm first. and there’s a grand, carefully-crafted strategy behind every move he makes and every mark he leaves.
outlaw!chris… who secretly admires your drive and skill as a sheriff. almost so much that it makes him suspicious. but nevertheless, he enjoys a good chase, you seem to be the only one that can keep up with him.
outlaw!chris… who is somewhat protective of you. if he notices that you’re in some big trouble he’s quick to get you out of it, he’s also quick to use the same old excuse. “you’re the most fun I’ve had in a while, sheriff. can’t let ya go that easy, can I?”
outlaw!chris… who actually flirts to keep you at arms length, not wanting you to find out anymore about his past than you already know. in times of vulnerability, he deflects with playful flirting and banter.
outlaw!chris… who has a signature whistle that towns associate with his arrival. it’s minor key is haunting and indeed memorable. it coaxes people into locking their doors and turning all of their candles off in fear that he is near and it is part of the legend he built for himself.
NSFW
outlaw!chris… who is the king of dirty talk, never holding back a thought around you. his words strike you deep where you’ve never felt anything before, and despite your refusal to admit it, Chris knows exactly what he does to you.
outlaw!chris… who is a slave to your voice. wether your moaning, gasping or giggling over something, he is entranced. he’ll play around with you, seemingly in charge but your vocals undo him quicker than he’d like to come to terms with.
outlaw!chris… who will absolutely go feral when you’re still in uniform. there’s something thrilling in undoing your holster, slow and teasing. he even goes as far as to brush his fingers over your sheriff’s badge, just to remind you of the irony of the situation.
outlaw!chris… who’s silver tongue isn’t just for sweet-talk. but for many other endeavours. and he’s only more determined when you pull at his hair, struggling to keep your hat on your own head while he ravages away meticulously.
outlaw!chris… who loves the risk of getting caught by another officer. he has no issue with railing the daylight out of you in the back room of the saloon, in fact it turns him on even more knowing that you can take him him in any setting.
outlaw!chris… who’s mask gets you quite so riled up. he’ll catch you staring for seconds longer on many occasions when it adorns his face and Chris is swift to dote on your not-so-secret obsession. “all red, huh? if you wanna come and make this mask a mess, I’m all in, sweet thing.”
Merry Christmas, yall got a new AU and everything… anyways FILL UP my inbox with questions about outlaw!Chris (The Phantom) and sheriff!Reader (Gold Boots).
- ©phone4pills
#phone4pills#𝜗𝜚 𝐆𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐲#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo angst#smut#matt sturniolo x reader#fluff#sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#fanfic#au#outlaw!chris#sheriff!reader#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#nicolas sturniolo#fem reader#x reader#chris sturniolo fanfic
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One Moment Was All It Took Part 5
Hello lovelies!!! I am sooo sorry!!! Almost two month later but Part 5 is herrreee. It is a bit longer so hopefully that makes up for it a bit lolol. Part 6 is getting worked on rn, prob the last chapter, max with have 7 parts. Then I'm onto other stories! Warnings!!! Dubcon/ noncon, previous noncon implied, captivity, kidnapping, stokholm syndrome brewing, panic attacks, reader gets into a bad mental space yall Hope everyone enjoys! Inspired by @envy-of-the-apple Soulmate HC
Darkness was all around you.
It was cold and unfeeling; it felt as if you were in an abyss with no end in sight. Falling down forever, the feeling of weightlessness overwhelms your senses. The only sound you could hear was the rushing wind in your ears as you were plummeting through an endless void.
At first, you tried to scream for help, clawing your hands for anything to grab onto, but you soon realized it was pointless. Resignation at your fate settled in, and you closed your eyes, accepting the inevitable. The darkness enveloped you completely, wrapping you in its suffocating embrace.
Just as your body went limp, you felt hands gripping you tightly. You felt them everywhere.
Opening your eyes, you saw nothing still; the feeling of nails digging into your body was overwhelming. The sensation of being pulled in all directions was disorienting, and you couldn't make sense of what was happening. Panic set in as you struggled against the invisible force that seemed to be controlling your every movement.
Nails dug into the flesh of your thighs, your arms, and your chest, leaving painful marks in their wake. You screamed for help, but no sound escaped your lips as you were dragged further into the darkness. Blood seeped from the scratches, hands tearing more at you, as if trying to crawl into your skin. Screams of pain erupted from your lips, hands fighting at the unseen force, but nothing helped.
Losing strength in your body, you began to give in, the unseen force now gentle with your fighting now gone. It gave soft caresses over your skin, almost comforting in its touch. The darkness still enveloped you completely, leaving you feeling both terrified and strangely comforted at the same time. In the distance, you saw two orbs of light approaching. Upon closer inspection, they looked like they were two sapphires, glowing in the darkness with a bright blue hue.
In your weakened state, you reached out to touch them, hearing a voice call out your name as it gradually got louder.
Jolting awake from the nightmare, you felt two hands holding your shoulders, shaking you lightly. Opening your eyes while you sat up, you saw the very cause of your torment.
Satoru sat beside you in bed, the moonlight casting his body in a white glow. Snowy white hair tousled, and his blue eyes filled with worry. Even in the middle of the night, he was breathtaking. You never understood how one human could be so beautiful, especially one so rotten. One who did cruel things to you with a smile on his face.
He looked at you with such softness, his hands cupping your face as tears went down your cheeks. An attempt to comfort you from your nightmares, which have been happening nearly every night. The cold nipped at your bare shoulders, and the nightgown you had on did nothing to help.
"Shh, it's okay." He assured you, brushing your tears away with his thumbs. "You're okay."
His voice was thick with sleep and concern. Sniffing, you only nodded to him, not being able to talk because of the tight feeling in your throat. Your head rested on his bare chest as you allowed him to pull you close, arms tight around your waist.
When this all began, you never would have thought you'd find comfort in your captor. You'd laugh at the irony of it all if the situation weren't so dire. But here you were, finding solace in the arms of the man who held you captive, feeling a strange sense of warmth beside him as much as you tried to fight it. Your isolation and stress only made matters worse.
You were only human, after all.
Weeks, or months, you didn't know, of fighting him with no escape in sight brought down your walls of resistance. It was as if your attempts were child's play to him, with him always being one step ahead at all times. Now all you could do was cling to him for support. The Stockholm syndrome was real, and you were living proof of its power.
You held on to him tighter, desperate for a sense of security after your nightmare. He gladly accepted your affections, a hand rubbing on your back as he whispered soothing words into your ears.
Satoru's determination to break you slowly chipped at your resolve to the point he now let you roam the penthouse freely, of course under strict lock and key. He didn't yet trust you fully enough to let you back into the public. The penthouse was sleek and massive, a testament to the amount of wealth he had, with more rooms than you knew what to do with . It overlooked Tokyo, sitting high in the sky, with breathtaking views of the city. Your favorite was at night, when the lights of the city sparkled below. Every door leading outside was secured with a padlock, which only he knew the code for. He and he alone opened the front door or left it.
Even with the added freedom, you felt the solitude getting to you. It took a toll on your mental and physical health, apparent in the lack of sleep and constant anxiety that plagued your every waking moment. The only solace you found was in the moments of kindness Satoru showed, leaving you conflicted and unsure of your own feelings towards him.
Silence enveloped the room as you calmed down, your cries now replaced with sniffles. Sensing your calmer state, he pulled away from the embrace, a hand cupping your cheek. His eyes always seemed to glow, especially at night.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly, concern evident in his voice.
You nodded, feeling a warmth spread through you at his touch as he wiped your cheeks. The silence between you felt comfortable, like a safe haven in the midst of chaos. Of course, he had to ruin it by talking.
"Just a bad dream." You dismiss him, avoiding eye contact and pushing his hands away. Immediately, you distanced yourself from him on the bed, leaving his hand to reach out for you.
He only observed you as you tried to settle back down, his hand clenching on his lap and his fingers twitching to feel you again. After any nightmare or panic attack, you always clammed back up. Your walls were back up once you had a moment of clarity.
It was frustrating for the sorcerer. You were so close to letting him in; he could see it, but you always retreated away just when he thought he had made progress. Constantly, he had to chase after you, hoping to get a glimpse of the vulnerability you rarely showed. But he knew that breaking down those walls would take time and patience.
He was only doing this because he had to.
The next morning, you woke before he did, like always.
Sunrays barely began to peek through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. Slowly, your mind fully woke up, with small yawns coming from your mouth. While your eyes adjusted, you watched him sleep beside you, tilting your head at the sight of him so peaceful. He lays there without a care in the world, an arm still around you, snoring lightly as he drooled onto his pillow. Fingers reached out to trace over his features lightly, his eyes twitching a little as he dreamed.
Shaking your head at your actions, you went back to getting out of bed, trying to wiggle out of his hold. Groans of protest escaped his lips, his brow furrowing at the loss of heat, his hand reaching for you on the bed, but he quickly fell asleep again. Putting the comforter over his shoulder, you quietly slipped out of bed and made your way to the kitchen to start making breakfast. The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room as you moved about.
It wasn't that you necessarily wanted to cook for him. Satoru couldn't cook to save his life, and you found it helpful to have a routine to stick to; the consistency brought you some sense of stability. Going through the motions, you whipped together a simple breakfast. For moments like these, you could almost believe things were normal. Almost.
You were so focused that you didn't notice a certain white-haired man walking into the kitchen; he always managed to sneak up on you despite being so loud. His arms wrapped around your waist as you stirred the eggs in the pan, startling you with a jump.
"Morning." His breath fanned over your ear, and his head went to the crook of your neck. He was a bit groggy, his larger body leaning over yours as he kissed your shoulder. "You need help?"
"No, I've got it here," you replied, your voice calm as your heart beat in your chest frantically.
The forced intimacy was something you should be well used to, with how often he pulled you into his arms, but there was still a shiver down your spine at the contact. His large hands wandered over your stomach lazily, a natural response for the clingy man, as he always craved your touch.
You just let him do as he wished. The scar on your left hand is a reminder of what would happen if you pushed him too far. Looking at it, memories of trying to fight him flood your mind. In your rage, you tried to hit him over the head with a glass vase. To your surprise, it only broke just before making contact, with a large shard imbedding itself in your palm and traveling all the way to the other side.
Satoru laughed like it was a joke as you screamed, collapsing to the tile with your bloody hand clutched to your chest. He warned you that next time, he wouldn't be so forgiving. In your pain, he made sure to patch you up gently and clean up the mess. Acting as if it were a simple accident.
He always talked about possessing abilities—ones he couldn't show you because of the "soumate" bond. Ranting on about stories of curses and the rare people that were able to exorcise them, keeping sweet cilvians like yourself safe, as he said. Naturally, you thought it was more of his delusional thoughts.
That day, you were proven wrong. The sight of the vase shattering against an invisible force between the two of you was enough to dampen the fire inside of you. He wasn't human; that much is clear to you now.
Coming back to reality, you felt his hands hiking up your nightgown. His fingers were cold as they traversed underneath. The touch sent shivers down your spine, a stark contrast to the warmth you once felt from him. As his hands continued to explore, you resisted the urge to fight him.
His kisses along your neck and shoulders are harsher, leaving marks in their wake. Marks that would last for days to come. When they finally fade, it will serve as a reminder to make more.
"You'll be late." You remind him, inhaling a sharp breath as his grip tightens on your waist. You tried to reason with him now instead of fighting him, knowing it would be useless. A few times, you've been able to dissuade him, but you knew it would be a matter of time before he took you again.
The urgency of his movements made you uneasy. His hips are moving into yours from behind with a need, making you feel each inch of his hardening cock. Satoru simply ignores you, a hand pulling at your chest, knowing it was a sensitive spot. His actions were becoming more forceful, causing a mix of pleasure and discomfort to surge through you.
Staying strong, you put down your spatula and turn off the fire, putting a hand over his to stop his movements. Eyes looking over at him with a small frown to show how serious you were. He had a pout on his lips, his eye twitching at the interruption. He hated being told no and being denied.
"I'll be fine. I called off today." He explains, focusing back on the skin on your neck. "I figured we should spend more time together since I've been gone a lot lately; I want to get to know you more."
His considerate words were a contrast to his actions. Ignoring your attempts to push him away, he did what he wanted. Both of his hands are on your chest, twisting and pulling at your nipples harshly. Your attempts to stop him and to talk reason to him were futile.
Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around you and picked you up, dropping you onto the counter behind him. He kneeled and slid your legs onto his shoulders in one swift motion, his head disappearing beneath your nightgown. Often, he liked to do this, being between your legs until your essence dripped down his chin and onto the bed. Once, he'd spend hours there, pleasuring you like it was his only purpose in life, not leaving until he had nearly made you pass out.
He couldn't get enough of you.
"Satoru!" You cried out, hands tangling in his hair as his tongue went in circles on your clit. "Satoru, please, not now."
Moans slipped past your lips, feeling the tension building in your core as he continued his skilled movements. The pleasure was overwhelming, and you knew you wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. He had a firm hold on your ass, nail digging in as he kept you in place when you tried to squirm away.
He had gone deaf to your pleas, lost in your taste and the way your body responded to his touch. He loved every second of it. Satoru was only focused on your pleasure, determined to bring you to the edge and beyond. With each flick of his tongue, you felt yourself teetering closer to the release you felt incoming.
Going between licks at your clit to tongue fucking you with a rhythm that had you gasping for air. The intensity of his actions sent shivers down your spine, making you arch your back in ecstasy. Your thighs squeezed around his head in an attempt to get him to stop his actions, but he only laughed, sending vibrations through your body that only heightened your arousal. His skilled touch was driving you wild, sending every nerve ablaze inside you.
With a final flick of his tongue, you reached your peak, crying out his name as waves of pleasure washed over you. He licked you clean, savoring each drop from you. Satoru finally released you, a satisfied smirk on his face as he looked up at you with dark eyes filled with desire. His chin dripped with your release, a smile on his face as he gazed up at you, his gaze filled with a mix of satisfaction and hunger. Turning his head, he laid kisses on your inner thigh, and one of his hands rubbed your leg as you calmed down from your high. Your chest is heaving, with a layer of sweat on it. The fabric of the nightgown stuck to your skin.
"Such a good girl."
Smiling still, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up. As he did, he began to pull his sweats down and let his cock free. It stood hard and erect, pre-dripping from the pink head.
Shame filled you, making you avert your eyes from his gaze.
In response, he only kissed your temple, letting you look away from him as he began. Guiding his member to your sopping entrance, he began to push in with no warning. The pain shot through you as he entered you roughly, causing tears to well up in your eyes. You tried to push him away, but his grip on your hips was too strong. Hands went on his shoulders, but he only tightened his grip on you, whispering in your ear that everything would be okay.
"Almost there, baby." He groaned into your neck while he stayed still, letting you adjust to his size.
No matter how many times you've been intimate with him, there was still a small amount of pain felt. You sobbed into his chest, hiccuping at the violation, with your arms moving around his neck. He held you close, comforting you with small kisses as the pain slowly subsided.
Felling you begin to relax, he experimentally thrust, gaining a small moan from you. His movements were slow and gentle, showing care and consideration for your comfort. As he found a rhythm, the initial discomfort faded away, replaced by a growing sense of pleasure.
The kitchen was filled with his loud moans and yours, even as you tried to muffle them to the best of your ability. His onslaught was relentless, the pace quickening as he became more consumed by desire, and the grip on your hips was near painful.
Opening your eyes, you looked past Satoru, your eyes blank as he continued to thrust. The eggs continued to cook with the left-over heat. Dust was on the cabinets; you'd be sure to clean them today. You noticed the clock on the wall stopped moving; you'd have to replace the batteries. The aroma of breakfast filled the room, mixing with the scent of sweat and desire.
You often let your mind wander during these moments, focusing on the sensations rather than the reality of the situation. Imagining yourself in your fiance's arms was one distraction you welcomed, but it was a dangerous game if you ever slipped his name. Your imagination could never mask what was happening, but it helped.
His noises filled your ears, as if to be a constant reminder of what you did to him. Grabbing your face harshly, he focused your eyes back on him. It's like he knew what you were doing—an emotion in his eyes you couldn't describe.
The varying blues of his eyes mesmerized you each time you saw them so close. It was like gazing into a stormy sea, both beautiful and terrifying. The intensity of his gaze made it impossible to look away, drawing you in despite the fear that lingered beneath the surface.
"You're mine," he growled, his grip tightening on your cheeks. The fear in your eyes mirrored the reality of the situation—no longer being able to hide behind daydreams.
Roughly, his lips met yours as if to claim you completely. His tongue explored every crevice of your mouth, leaving you breathless. Your legs tightened around him, nails sinking into his back, in response to a certain movement that hit a spot inside you. He finally broke from the kiss, returning his attention to your eyes. He could see from the look in your eyes and your drooling mouth that you were close, your body trembling in pleasure.
This urged him to move faster, with one of his hands moving between the two of you to rub at your clit. His fingers are rubbing in fast circles, the movement sending you closer to the edge. With each thrust, the pleasure intensified, building towards an inevitable climax.
The feeling of you around him was pure bliss, a sensation he would never grow tired of. The slaps of his hips on yours became more forceful, matching the urgency of your moans and the increasing pace of his movements. You clenched around him, your eyes rolling back as you felt your end coming closer. Satoru was not far behind, his face a bright red and his movements sloppy.
With a final push, he buried himself deep inside you, releasing a guttural groan as you both reached the peak of pleasure together. His cum filled you as your insides milked him for all his worth as his cock twitched inside you.
Panting for air, you held him close, legs shaking on either side of him from overstimulation. You felt his warmth fill you to the brim, spilling onto the countertops. As you both came down from the intense high, you shared a moment of silence.
He spent it in glee, and you spent it in contempt. You hated yourself for giving in. For not fighting harder. For succumbing to his touches. The fear and instinct to survive overpowered any sense of dignity or self-respect you had left. More tears silently went down your cheeks, mixing with the sweat and other fluids that coated your skin.
Giving you a softer kiss on the lips, he pulled back with a soft smile. With eyes filled with tenderness, you often thought he truly believed his delusions. His hands still rubbed along your body to massage the soreness that would come shortly; he was always too rough with you.
"Come on. We'll take a shower together." He said, he looked content with himself as he pulled out, earning a whimper from you. His shoulders were relaxed, and a sense of satisfaction was evident in his expression. He breathed slowly and deeply while he waited for a response, his fingers still trailing along your thighs.
You got the feeling it was more of an order than a suggestion; he did like the intimacy bathing together brought.
"You'll feel better."
Nodding to him quietly, you let him help you off the counter. Standing on shaky legs as you tried to walk to the bathroom. He only laughed at the sight, letting you continue to try and walk. Your legs only shook more with each step; you looked like a deer learning to walk for the first time.
For awhile, he let you keep trying to walk, only stepping in once you had nothing to support yourself with anymore. With ease, he picked you up bridal style, making jokes at your expense. He laughed when he saw the embarrassed expression on your face, digging in more.
The bath was relaxing, as much as you hated to admit it.
With plenty of soap filling the large tub, Satoru sat across from you. He talked on and on, focused on plans for the day as you wash yourself. Only humming in response to all of his questions and obviously avoiding speaking to him.
He noticed when you answered a question with another hum. With a roll of his eyes, he splashed you with water to catch your attention. Jumping in response, you splashed him back on habit, only for the water to slide down that damn force field of his as he smiled at you with a shit eating grin.
"As I was saying, babe, I think we should have a marathon. I saw a series you like has a new season out."
You can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes at his persistence, hands raised to scrub the shampoo into your hair. Eyes looking to the side of the tube to distract yourself, you still haven't gotten used to him trying to be so domestic.
"Fine, but only if we get the snacks I want," you retort, a little part of you looking forward to it.
You froze at the realization, frowning as to why you thought that. You hated him. Despised what he did to you and what he continued to do. Deep, deep down, despite how much you buried it, you felt a small connection forming with him.
Focusing again, you saw his gaze on you. You slapped his arm; your physical attacks always made contact, after all, when you saw where they were directed. He had been shamlessly oogling your wet, soapy breasts.
"Stop being a creep," you scolded, feeling a mix of annoyance and discomfort. You quickly covered yourself with one arm, hoping to put some distance between yourself and him as you scooted away.
"Stop being so hot then."
Slapping his arm again, just as hard, he gasped in shock, pretending to look heartbroken, his hand clutching his chest. He had red spots forming on his biceps from your hits against his pale skin.
"You're impossible," you muttered, glaring at his wide grin. Despite his inappropriate behavior, there was a part of you that couldn't help but find him charming in a twisted sort of way. If you had met under different circumstances, there might have been a chance you could have been friends.
"What?" He challenged, leaning forward with a mischievous glint in his eyes, clearly enjoying the banter between the two of you. "Gonna do something to make me stop?"
To further his point, his eyes focused down once more and then back up at your face, his eyebrows wiggling playfully. Lifting your hands up, you covered his eyes with your hands, blocking his view, much to his mock protest. Your palms were flat up against his eyes, not letting anything slip by .
"Not cool." His lips pouted, but he made no attempt to escape your grasp. If anything, he leaned into your touch, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. To your surprise, his hands sprang up over yours when you began to move them in an attempt to take them back. He pleaded with you for them to stay.
"Can… Can we stay like this for a bit longer?"
His voice was the softest you have ever heard, and the vulnerability in his tone caught you off guard. He'd always been playful and carefree, but in this moment, he seemed fragile and in need of comfort. It tugged at your heartstrings, and you couldn't help but oblige his request.
You don't know what came over you, but you found yourself moving closer to him in the tub. Continuing to offer him support as you both sat in comfortable silence, his hands still resting on yours.
The rest of the day went by peacefully. You'd even go so far as to say it was nice.
As he promised, the two of you relaxed on the couch to watch the show after breakfast and changed into comfortable clothing. He currently held you next to him, a blanket over the both of you. Regardless of your best efforts to avoid it, his arm was wrapped around your shoulder. You caved in after he persisted.
"I told you they would go that route; it only made sense!"
"You don't need to rub it in." He said it with a defeated tone, popping another piece of candy into his mouth.
The two of you had a debate about which direction the show would go when you saw the warning signs. It was obvious to you that the best friend would betray the main character in the end. You were just hoping you were wrong.
Sighing like a child, Satoru moved to get up; his phone had chimed with a notification. He glanced down at the screen, his expression turning grim as he read the message.
"Gotta take this, babe; keep watching."
You only shrugged at him in response, picking up the remote to switch to live TV as he left the room. Both of you had already finished the newest season; the sun is long set now. Browsing through the channels, you only saw a few reruns of old movies, the midnight crime shows you used to watch, and a late-night talk show discussing the latest celebrity gossip from a couple years ago. The room was filled with the soft glow of the TV screen, casting shadows across the walls as you settled in for another night of mindless entertainment.
Picking a random channel since nothing caught your interest, you moved to pick up a book you'd left on the stand beside the couch, turning on the small lamp to read instead. As you flipped through the pages, the sound of laughter from the TV faded into the background, replaced by the quiet rustling of paper. The familiar smell of the book brought a sense of comfort; books were often your only source of entertainment here since Satoru only let you use the TV when he was with you.
Minutes went by as you read to yourself; Satoru was still down the hall on the phone. You often saw him pacing the halls, shooting you a look to check in at times. Immersed in the book, you didn't pay him any mind; you were used to him constantly checking in on you.
Just as you began to relax, you heard the voice of someone familiar. Someone you thought you'd never hear or see again.
Looking up at the TV in shock, you saw the news station was on, showing an interview with your family. You'd forgotten Satoru didn't like you watching live TV, always mentioning he meant to cancel it. Now you knew why.
On the large LED screen, you saw your loved ones in tears, crying out over your disappearance. They looked devastated, pleading for your safe return. Your heart sank, seeing how distraught they were. Tears began to well in your eyes, your emotions overwhelming you.
A tight feeling in your chest made it harder to breathe; your breaths came in short bursts. Panic began to fill your veins, the book dropping beside you as you stood up. Your fiancé was now on screen. He appeared worn, exhausted, and shattered. A shadow of the man he once was, he gazed directly into the camera, his eyes filled with desperation as he whispered, "Please come back to me."
Your hands trembled as you reached out towards the screen, wishing to be with him. It had been almost five months since you'd disappeared; the only thing left of you was a ransacked apartment. Five months were spent alone with this man. This monster.
More panic filled you as your thoughts raced and your heart beat frantically in your chest. Your hands began to shake as you realized how long it had been. A strangled cry escaped your lips as you collapsed to the floor, arms wrapped around yourself, in a desperate attempt to calm your racing heart. The weight of the situation finally hit you, and tears began to stream down your face. You made sounds you never would have imagined—sounds that were hurting and broken.
Satoru ran back into the room once he heard your cries, coming back to find you shattered in pieces. It was easy for him to figure out what happened. He kneeled down beside you, gently pulling you into his arms and whispering soothing words in your ear. His presence did nothing to soothe you, only causing you to fight in his arms more. Pushing on him to get away from him, you felt like the room was caving in on you. His suffocating presence only made things worse. You needed space to process your emotions, but Satoru refused to let you go, holding you tighter. The more he tried to comfort you, the more you felt like you were drowning in your own despair.
Eventually, like always, you tired yourself out. Crying softly as he cradled you in his arms. Your chest still hiccupped, but you no longer screamed like you did before. Vocal cords are raw now and in pain. Your eyes are red and puffy from your tears.
"Why?" you whispered, the word barely audible through your hoarse voice. Satoru held you closer, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears of his own. You'd never seen him cry before; the hold on you is tighter than before.
"I love you."
His declaration only served to make you cry more.
Shaking your head, you continued to try and push away from him. You pleaded with him to let you go through your tears. The entire time, he peppered your face with kisses, declaring his love in between each one. He is desperate to get you to see through his words and actions. It was suffocating—his so called love, the look in his eyes he held for you, the intensity of his emotions palpable in the air around you.
"I can't let you go… Not ever…"
Hugging you close, he made you rest your head on his shoulder, his hand caressing your hair. Even now, he was rough. His hand gripped your hair a little too tightly, making you wince in pain. The position on the floor was uncomfortable for the both of you, but he didn't seem to notice or care. Too engrossed in his own emotions, he seemed blind to your discomfort.
Laying limp in his arms, your tired eyes wandered back to the screen where the interview continued. Seeing your loved ones, you felt that spark in you return—that will to fight— even as small as it was.
OOOhhh what will happennnn??~~~ I hope you guys liked this chapter. You saw how the dynamic worked with him now since it's months down the line. Will he fully break her? Will she try to escape despite her fears?? We'll findd outt
#jjk x reader#yandere jjk#gojo satoru x reader#yandere gojo satoru#One Moment Was All It Took#yandere gojo x reader#tw dark content#tw noncon#tw nudity#tw kidnapping#tw captivity
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that wiki post reminded me idk if a lot of people here know but roier and spreen have known each other and have been friends since they were like 15. and so my personal hc for their qsmp characters is that that irl fact applies to their cubitos and explains qroiers fondness and deep friendship with spreen and is particularly the exact reason roier struggles so hard to grasp why spreen betrayed him in such a way. considering he had sorta grown up with him at this point and trusted him so devotedly that he never couldve expected it. and it creates this sorta bittersweet result of their dynamic that i think people can relate to in aspects of childhood friends to meaning nothing to each other.
except obviously for our cubitos its a bit darker with ya know roier wanting to kill spreen and torture him and spreen well dying mysteriously. but its sorta raw and tragic in its own way. and i think the aspect of them being friends for so long also explains why despite how quick and selfishly spreen was to betray roier he also was just as quick to try and gain his forgiveness because in a way he did care for him. because he did. its so crucial to understand that spreen cared about roier.
however just because spreen cares about someone doesnt mean he wasnt willing to hurt them. we best see this when he tells the devil that the people who he likes most on the island are roier and missa. but no matter how much care he might have for someone if theres something for him to gain he’ll take it. so i’d say in the end when considering everything that went down and all their choices the irony of how well they knew each other for all these years of friendship is that they both sorta underestimated the other. roier with spreens morals and integrity and spreen with roiers compassion and forgiveness. hey have i mentioned that i think about them a lot
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yandere dottore 😳 with holding the reader hostage as a lab rat.
I am not too familiar with a lot of the Harbingers so I will keep this as HCs for now before I try any short with him. I researched him the best I could, so I hope my HCs are in character.
Yandere! Il Dottore with Kidnapped! Darling
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Kidnapping, Human experimentation, Can Dottore be a trigger warning?, Delusional behavior, Manipulation, Restraints, Worship yandere mentions, Mind break, Forced affection, Forced "relationship".
Ill Dottore is one of the most unnerving/terrifying yanderes to cover.
Especially in this context.
A man who does human experiments (on children, too), murder, and many other crimes.
He feels like one of the most evil characters in Genshin.
It most likely is so far.
He thrives off experiments, you are no different.
There's no doubt in my mind Dottore uses his obsession as fodder for his experiments.
He claims you're near perfect and that he simply must perfect you.
Is it really that much of a surprise he'd kidnap you?
In fact, Dottore may just kidnap you first before his obsession fully settles in.
Dottore causes psychological damage to his patients most of the time after his experiments.
He's a man obsessed with godly perfection.
That can be seen towards his darling.
Most of your encounters with Dottore involve chains, dark rooms, and needles.
Dottore's darling is indeed treated like a lab rat.
But they are his favorite.
Whenever he approaches your cell he always wears a grin.
You never see his face, always greeted with a cryptic mask to hide your captor.
His title drips irony, he does no healing to you.
He plays off his experiments as ways to show his love.
He treats you with soft touches right before trying a new resource on you.
Before long you'll be on the verge of breaking when his obsession fully hits.
Soon after another painful test, he praises you with a kiss on your skin or lips.
He praises you verbally when you show results.
At times he seems to worship you, complimenting you as he tests you.
You are Dottore's most precious experiment.
In his eyes his tests have made you better.
You were so weak without him, now look at you?
You are perfect in his eyes.
Or maybe not quite perfect... there can always be improvements, right?
Even when your mind falters and you start to break due to his actions, Dottore still treats you the same.
He teaches you to obediently reciprocate his actions, to kiss back and let him hold you.
He still experiments on you, he still keeps those dreaded chains on you right up until you break.
When you break you're given a better room.
Dottore is the only man you see, the only person you see.
According to him, you and him are romantic partners.
By this point the thought doesn't shock you.
You just keep thinking of the experiments.
Even when he explains his "adoration" for you, you can barely think on it.
His warmer touches feel numb to you, you don't even care where he kisses anymore.
Dottore and his experiments are all you know now...
What even was your life outside anymore?
All you should care about is Dottore, the doctor who's perfecting you...
He's the only one who "loves" you... that's what he tells you, after all.
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OH COME ON
btw I found a reddit post that sums up my issues with this change perfectly
The issues with Movie Peach: A comparison of portrayals
Ok so I know it’s been literal months since the Mario Movie came out but I’m still a bit salty about the way Peach was portrayed in it, and honestly the more I think about it the more I find flaws in this “adaptation”, and I need to get it all out, hoping talking about it here will help me stop thinking about this shit and finally get over it. If you enjoyed her movie portrayal, good for you and feel free to ignore this post. For the others, here are the things that bother me about it.
(Very long post ahead! A bit over 11k words. It’s "cut" in several parts to make it easier to follow. I also made a Google docs version in case it’s easier to read. Tl;Dr under the cut because Tumblr does weird things due to the length otherwise)
Tl;Dr: Outside of a few personality traits that are the same but expressed differently, which is an issue all main characters in this movie have when compared to their game selves, the main issues with Movie Peach are her body language and the fact they removed the overly kind nature, more or less pacifist nature, wit and softness she has in the games and instead made her confrontational, a competent physical fighter and overly-confident, all of which make her OOC when compared to the games. This is especially insulting given the way Illuminations seems to look down on Games Peach and consider what they did with her in the movie to be an improvement, when Peach’s main issue in the games isn’t her personality but her lack of screentime to make said personality shine.
Setting a few things straight before we start, just to make sure we’re on the same page here:
1. No, it’s not about the pants. While an argument could be made about Peach only wearing pants in outfits that require it (adventurer and farmer in Odyssey, some events in Olympics, Strikers, swordfighter and Kung Fu in Showtime, biker in Kart, her cap/snow/moon outfit in Odyssey and detective in Showtime do have pants in a setting where it’s not necessary but both also give her a long jacket, making it look like she’s wearing more of a dress with long stockings rather than actual pants, same for Olympics ice skating) ultimately there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her wearing pants. Heck, one of her scraped Odyssey outfits has her wearing jeans, and it’s one of her best outfits! Also Showtime might have more outfits with pants that will make this argument null (I mean the concept art for Odyssey kinda already does with the jeans). All this to say, the people who claim Peach was “ruined” because she’s *looks at smudged writing* “wearing a biker outfit on a bike” need to chill tf out.
2. There’s also nothing wrong with the fact she can parkour. In all the games she’s playable, Peach can keep up with Mario without any issue (she does have a slower walking speed in Super Paper and 3D World but it honestly barely matters, and it makes sense given she has a dress). Plus, the movie establishes that she was raised here, so it’s normal for her to have the abilities needed to get around. Now I do take issue with her body language in the training scene (more on that later) and the mention that she first-tried it (I like when characters struggle and grow rather than getting everything right first-hand) but both of those things are unrelated to her platforming abilities. So if you see little to no mention of her being great at it later in the post, it’s because that’s not something I consider out of character for her.
3. I am beyond excited for Princess Peach Showtime. From what we’ve seen so far, this game perfectly encapsulates what makes Peach who she is, and I am so happy that she’s getting her own game again!!! As for the swordfighter and Kung Fu outfits, it’s mentioned later on in the post but yeah it absolutely works with her game personality. Again, the issue isn’t with the outfits, or in that case with some specific abilities that work with what we know of her, the issue is with the personality that goes with it.
4. While the post will likely give the opposite impression, in no way do I consider myself some sort of expert on Peach’s character. This is a character that was created 15 years before I was even born, and I have no rights whatsoever to dictate what Nintendo can or can’t do with their own characters or how they choose to portray them. It’s just that she’s a character I absolutely adored as a kid and, while I’m not sure if she’s currently my favorite Mario character (hesitating between her and Bowser), I’m still incredibly attached to that character and her potential, hence why I care so much. But by the end of the day, I’m just some random weirdo over-analyzing a character from a kid-oriented piece of media.
5. I have no issues with the strong female character archetype, or at least none outside of the common grievance of “stop giving us boring planks of wood with amazing natural abilities and instead give us great characters who happen to kick ass and be badass!”. In fact, was this movie a completely original piece with characters unrelated to Mario, I’d probably enjoy Peach’s character. My issue in this specific case is that this movie is meant as a faithful adaptation of a specific franchise, so you’d expect all the characters to be in character. And while all main characters have some traits that are missing or not exactly the same as their game counterparts (I could make a short post about it if anybody asks), it still works very well for what Illuminations was going for and they’re still recognizable. Peach is the only exception where her character feels very butchered. There’s also the issue that it feels like Illuminations looks down on Peach’s game portrayal and wrote her this way with a desire to “fix” her, when there’s nothing wrong with her in-game personality. More on that later. But yeah, it does feel insulting if they do look down on her game character.
(Also I know this is a whole other discussion but I’m really not a big fan of the way everytime a new female character is created she needs to be called like “girlboss”, “damsel”, “Marie Sue” etc. Can’t a female character just exist without being put in a box, like male characters do (obviously I’m talking outside of fandoms, I know men are put in boxes around here)? Also can’t sweet female characters, strong female characters and anything in-between just exist without people arguing over which ones are “better”? Just let women be women. And while I do understand the issue with how many movies do nothing with their women outside of making them the love interest, which is an issue, by that point we have so much diverse female rep that we should be able to write characters the way we want without having to compensate for the shitty portrayals. You want your female characters to be likable or great role models? Just make them interesting. Give them goals, an arc, interesting relationships, things they’re good at and things they struggle at. And if you want them to be soft and kind and raise a family? Go ahead! You want them to be badass as hell and kill without a sweat instead? Go ahead!
Also last thing about it but I find it pretty crazy how Disney specifically struggles so much nowadays with female characters in live-action. I mean Disney Animations Studios gave is tons of great women, both protagonists and antagonists, all with different personalities (Snow White is childlike and naive, Cinderella refuses to let her situation take her down and remains kind to those “below” her, Ariel is curious and passionate, Jasmine is stubborn and independent, Esmeralda is incredibly selfless while still having no issue standing up for herself, Megara is cynical and sharp, Tiana is determined and hard-working, Mulan is very smart and loves her father so much she’s willing to die protecting him, Rapunzel is spunky and has a natural talent to bring people together, Elsa is shy and introverted, Anna is impulsive and empathetic, Mirabel is probably the most relatable Disney protagonist, the list goes on), heck the Disney Princesses is their most popular brand that they didn’t buy out from the competition, and yet when you look at the remakes and the superheroes movies, they give us the blandest characters, whose “empowerment” messages are the most nothing thing when compared to the original animated movies. Mulan especially is a ridiculously good example of that given how fantastic the message of the original movie was in terms of female empowerment.)
Now, with all that out of the way, let’s get into why I dislike Movie Peach when compared to Games Peach:
1. The two biggest issues with Movie Peach
Starting with one of my two biggest issues but also the shortest to explain: her body language. To go over it quickly, just watch her scenes in the movie while focusing on her body language, mannerisms and facial expressions, and then go to her scenes in the Mario + Rabbids games along with the trailers for Princess Peach Showtime and do the same thing. You’ll quickly notice that Rabbids and Showtime have a very similar Peach, while the Movie gives a completely different vibe. In fact, on body language alone, they come off as two completely different characters.
Now there are small moments where her body language in the Movie works as Peach, such as her reactions when Mario is training or when she’s watching the fight between him and DK (at least when the camera isn’t fully focused on her for that second case). But overall, she’s still very different from the games.
To give more precise examples, notice the way Movie Peach always looks very confident when she’s about to start a fight. In comparison, the first teaser for Showtime opens up with Peach and Stella going on stage, and Peach comes off as someone who isn’t sure if she can do it but is willing to try her absolute best. Basically when I look at Movie Peach her face says “Alright, let’s do this >: )” while Peach in the first Showtime trailer has a face that says “Alright, I can do this”, if that makes more sense.
Then there’s also things like in the first Rabbids games with Peach showing up to the fight floating with her parasol Marry Poppins style. And upon being about to land, Mario extends a hand to help her even though she doesn’t need it, which kind of reminds me of the ending of Super Princess Peach where Mario is the one in distress yet Peach is the one getting carried bridal style by him because that’s just the kind of person she is. I just can’t picture Movie Peach doing the same.
Btw funny thing but while I disagree with the people claiming that Movie Peach is basically Daisy, since Daisy is very aloof about her role as ruler while Movie Peach takes it incredibly seriously, I do believe that Movie Peach’s body language would fit Daisy very well.
I guess it’s also worth mentioning how different her voice sounds in the movie? But then again I watched it in french and only saw some english-dubbed scenes through video reactions, and I can’t say I really care about the og dub enough to take a good listen. That being said, I’m not the biggest fan of her french voice when you compare it to what Peach sounds like (I do think the voice actress did a great job though, regardless of whether or not she sounds like Peach). And looking at trailers in different languages, the German version I believe has a much higher-pitched voice and it does feel a lot more like what Peach sounds like.
Second biggest issue is how great she is in combat and that’s the biggest one for me. Not only did they remove some of Peach’s traits (which we’ll get to in a moment) but they added something that is extremely out of character for her.
In the movie, Peach is a fantastic fighter, especially with hand-to-hand combat. She drop-kicks Mario, would have probably won against DK no problem had she accepted the duel, does a great job defending herself in the Rainbow Road scene, is very quick and agile when confronting Bowser at the wedding, and was single-handedly winning against a whole army, probably would have won had she not gotten distracted. She’s also clearly aware of those abilities, very often smiling during those fights, showing tons of confidence in her abilities.
On top of that, she’s very confrontational. She hears of Bowser being a menace and immediately wants to go to war. When a stranger gets a bit too close for comfort, she attacks. When encouraging her Toads before leaving, her posture when she gets interrupted shows a desire to fight. When they meet the first Kong and he glares at her, she immediately glares back. She also takes a fighting stance when he roars at them. When Bowser approaches, she’s willing to take him out all by herself and later on starts the battle at the altar. All-in-all, fighting is her first solution to pretty much every problem.
Peach in the games, however, is very different. If you look at her relationship with fighting throughout the series, three things will arise:
1. Peach doesn’t like fighting and only does so if there’s no other choice. In Mario 3D Land, she fights back against a pile of Goombas but looks incredibly uncomfortable doing so. In what we’ve seen of Showtime, she cowers when Stella uses her magic on her hair and then looks confused about having to be the hero for a second there.
In Smash Bros Brawl, the one cutscene where she truly shines has her stopping fights left and right and trying to befriend everyone while letting Sheik protect her if needed; she doesn’t even take a fighting stance when Mr. Game and Watch attacks (at least in the cutscene compilation I saw, could have been a glitch where her animation didn’t trigger considering she’s dusting her dress off instead, which looks like an idle animation; note that I haven’t played this game). Btw it’s both very funny and pretty embarrassing for the Movie writers that a fighting game of all things understood Peach’s dislike over fighting better than they did. On that note, this one Ultimate trailer with no music that got memed a lot features Peach and Zelda surrounded by a gust of wind, and while Zelda looks ready to fight, Peach instead gasps and looks at the wind, completely dropping her guard and forgetting about the whole “having to fight” thing.
Then there’s the Mario and Luigi series where she sends the twins to fight her battles, the first Rabbids game where you meet her very early on yet she only becomes playable much later in the game, plus in both Rabbids games she’s a support character whose role is to protect the others (of course she still has an attack like everyone else; also I’m in no way saying that a support character is “lesser”, it’s an essential role in making sure the hard-hitters use their turns to attack rather than heal).
In Paper Mario 64 she also doesn’t fight directly and in the last boss uses her wishes to strengthen Twink, playing support. Even in the Super Mario Adventures Comic, outside of dropkicking on the Koopalings, she never fights directly. When going back to the tower, she threatens to blow it up but doesn’t do anything when Wendy calls her bluff. There’s literally only one panel during the “getting the keys” fight in which she’s visible, and she’s in the background running around and looking surprised!
Oh yeah and while I might be wrong as I’ve only seen it in like, 2 cutscenes, Peach in the Rabbids games doesn’t seem to have a fighting stance, at least outside of cutscenes. So you know how the characters have some small animations, like “thinking” stances or “happy/cheering” stances or “sad” stances, you know the ones? Well in at least two scenes, while everyone is taking a fighting stance, Peach is standing with her mouth open in surprise. I know one of these moments is in the Last Spark Hunter DLC but I couldn’t tell you which is the other cutscene. I’m not even actually sure if it’s true for a second one but also for some reason I remember seeing it at least twice. 🤔 Btw random fun fact but Bowser also doesn’t have a cheering stance, at least not in this DLC.
I also know incredibly little of Super Mario RPG but doesn’t she use magic in this game, and is again the supporting character meant to heal the others?
Also also not sure if this matters much since other characters like Daisy do it too, but in Super Mario Party, and possibly other party games (?), during the minigames that require punching other people, she pushes them instead. You can see she doesn’t use her fist but her palms instead.
Lastly, because it does need to be brought up, yes Peach jumps on enemies without any hesitation in the platformers she’s playable in. This is basically the main reason why I called Peach “more or less pacifist” in the Tl;Dr. And honestly, the only counterargument I can give is the fact that those aren’t really fights, at least outside of bosses. You’re just kind of hopping on enemies’ heads and then they disappear. But in games that are more focused on the fight itself like the RPGs or the Smash cutscenes, Peach tends to either be less comfortable with fighting or have more of a supporting role.
Now, I could also point out how the vast majority of platformers Peach is playable in are co-op games (Bros 2 USA, 3D World, Super Paper, Wonder), and the stories of those games imply the whole group is going on an adventure together, meaning it’s possible Peach does less fighting and more exploring for example, leaving Mario and Luigi to do most of the fighting. And while this is an idea I like to explore in fics, I don’t want to diminish Peach’s abilities here. Plus Super Princess Peach and Showtime prove that she doesn’t hesitate when on her own.
And yes I know the real reason why she doesn’t hesitate in the platformers is because people want to be able to play as her and it’d be stupid to have a character who doesn’t have the basic abilities literally every character has, so it has less to do with her personality and more to do with gameplay. The RPGs on the other hand assign different abilities and roles to different characters, so they can make Peach the healer/support as a means to make her an active character while keeping her personality intact. Still, for the sake of argument and to avoid being a hypocrite, I consider the platformers as proof that she can fight directly when she needs to, with the RPGs and Smash cutscenes showing that this might not be her preferred choice.
All this to say, Peach is not much of a fighter. If she can prevent a fight, she will choose the more peaceful option. She’d also rather have other people fight instead of her or play support for them. But if it all comes down to it, she will fight. She’d rather not, but she will if needed.
2. Peach doesn’t know how to fight. Now this might be a flimsier argument but bear with me here. Basically, the first time I thought of this was due to the 86 anime and Adventures Comic, both of which have her defend herself using furniture, which does give the impression that she doesn’t know how to fight so she does the second best thing: throwing heavy shit to at least do some damage.
But even with those aside, Peach is definitely one to use unusual weapons. In Super Princess Peach and a few other games, she fights with a parasol. Her gun in Rabbids 2 is even shaped like a parasol. In Super Mario RPG, from what I’ve heard/seen, she uses a frying pan. And while I don’t know her Smash moveset, looking at her character descriptions from the wiki, the Smash games keep mentioning her using said frying pan along with turnips, her parasol, sports gear and Toad as a shield, with her hand-to-hand combat being her kicking while in the air. I also know what her final smash sort of looks like with the way the screen changes to look like a Peach-themed frame (and I think I remember hearing that peaches fall off the sky but don’t quote me on that).
She also uses magic, mostly star/wish-related magic, which seems to be healing magic for the most part? On that note, her specials in the sport games tend to be heart-shaped. And while it’s definitely undermined by the swordfighter and Kung Fu outfits, her main means to defend herself in Showtime is a ribbon. And who knows, maybe we’ll get some other wacky ways to attack in other transformations?
So yeah, overall, Peach doesn’t seem like someone who knows how to fight. She just holds onto an object that she’s comfortable with and wacks people with it. In a way, it goes with what’s said in the previous part. In platforming games, she jumps on enemies just like everybody else. But when it comes to more hand-related combat, Showtime is seemingly the first time where she’s getting some abilities on that front.
Now, there is the argument that Showtime is all a play, meaning her abilities are her playing a role. But I do think that, regardless if this is a play or not, her physical abilities in this game do come from her. So even if the fights are “scripted” to an extent, she’s still capable of executing those moves. Same deal with the possible argument that Stella might be giving her those powers/boosting her. Peach still is capable of doing them on her own, unless we’re explicitly told in-game that Stella gave her those abilities and Peach wouldn’t be able to do them without her. But then this would undermine her baking and detective skills, and we know how much Peach loves baking. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see once the game comes out.
3. Peach is physically weak, much more so than what the movie shows. This is actually why I saw her Smash descriptions because I went to the wiki pages for all the sport games to check her stats. And in all the games showing said stats, her strength is almost always below average, sometimes by a little, other times by a lot, with quite a few instances having her as one of the physically weakest characters. I can only remember one exception where her strength was around the same level as everyone else. Everything else, she’s below.
For those curious about which stats I used to check on that: every game that has a “strength” stat, I checked it. As for the others, for the golf games I looked for the ball distance a throw gives as it seems like the one that would require the most strength, and for some Strikers games it was the shooting stat. I didn’t take Mario Kart into consideration as I don’t think there’s anything in that series that would count (even weight doesn’t really have anything to do with it), and the baseball games were a bit more complicated. By that I mean that Peach in Sluggers for example (at least I think it was Sluggers) has a bad stat as a hitter, but good at pitcher. And both of those positions require physical strength I believe? Unless Nintendo considers pitcher as more of a technique-related skill and hitter as more strength-related? But yeah, just leaving this here in case it’s relevant. Literally the one time I don’t spend time looking at the other characters’ stats to see what they have in comparison, it’s the one time where I’m not sure what it means in terms of strength.
(Speaking of which, because I found those interesting, know that Mario is always the most balanced character, Luigi tends to be not as strong as his brother but has more agility than him, Bowser is always one of the strongest, DK and Wario swap between which one has the same strength stat as Bowser and which one is a bit weaker depending on the game, Daisy is a fast character in the Olympics games which I find funny considering Mario Kart Wii, and Waluigi tends to be on the weaker end due to being lanky apparently.)
And outside of the sports games, one of her Smash Melee descriptions calls her one of the weakest characters physically, and how using her is a test of endurance (again, a literal fighting game gets it), while that one long gone Doctor Mario mobile game has her attack stat in combat mode be at its lowest, while her defense on the other hand is pretty good (haven’t played this game actually, just stumbled across the page and looked up some stats, funny how well they’re tied to the sport games, like with Mario being balanced, Bowser having the most attack etc).
Now there might be more examples I’m forgetting, but all-in-all, there’s a pattern of Peach being weak when it comes to physical strength. And on unrelated news, the part of me that headcanon her as a Toad is very happy about that fact.
2. Other personality differences
And speaking of patterns! Here’s something the movie removed from Game Peach: her wit. Peach in the games is smart, resourceful and quick-witted. And while it’s not something the games really focus on, it’s absolutely there.
In all those sports games I mentioned, there’s one stat that’s always her highest, and that’s her technique. In all the games that have a stat called technique, she has the highest one. In almost all the games that don’t have stats but just put the characters in categories based on their abilities (all-around, strength, technique, speed etc), she’s put in the technique box, with only like one exception in an Olympics game that puts her in the speed category, switching with Daisy. In strikers, the golf games, the tennis games, and likely the baseball games, her best stats are the ones related to her control over the ball, which I’d argue is the most related to technique (don’t remember the exact names of the stats but it was something along the lines of passing the ball, giving effect to the ball, choosing the trajectory of the balls and being pitcher respectively). One of the Olympics games I believe even calls her quick-witted.
On that note, I like to think that this is why she makes for a great swordfighter and Kung Fu artist in Showtime, as those are skills that require a lot of technique and she’s good at picking up on it (also is there an Olympics games that has a fencing challenge that she’s playable in? Because that could explain it too).
As for outside of the sport games, you have the 86 Anime where she manages to outsmart Bowser though she doesn’t get away with it, the Adventures Comic with her outsmarting the Koopalings and even managing to escape the tower by making fast decisions on where to run to and using Wendy’s possessions against her (granted she got lucky with the cape, but still), Paper Mario 64 with her sneaking around the castle finding info to help Mario, same deal with Thousand Years Door (from what I’ve seen of it), Superstar Saga with her switcharoo plan, Partners in Time with her quickly grabbing the star against Elder Princess Shroobs, Dream Team with her and Toadsworth going through a few trials on their own (plus, depending on when she got captured, she might have been the one to think of hiding with Madame Broque), Showtime with the detective outfit, all the games where she’s able to send Mario items (like Galaxy) or attempts to run away (3D Land), and overall she’s seen as a great Princess loved by her Toads, which is a role that requires a lot of thinking to take the best decisions for her people.
On the other hand, Movie Peach lacks this wit. While she does have a lot of technique given how much she can do physically, she lacks the smart decisions that Games Peach is able to do. Or at least, she doesn’t think things through like, at all. I mean if you look at her decisions one by one:
- She intended on traveling to meet the Kongs all on her own, going on a fairly dangerous adventure without a single person in tow. The only reason she went with others was because Mario showed up.
- She meets that completely random guy that broke into her castle and is immediately willing to take him on said difficult journey after one day of seeing him train, all because he looks like her (this is the main reason why I would’ve loved to have Toadsworth in the movie, he could’ve told her not to go alone, thus giving an excuse as to why she would take Mario with her).
- When Cranky refuses to land his army, she just doubles down on what she just said. While her arguments make sense, she clearly didn’t know what to say and had no backup plan in case he refused, and only got the army due to Mario’s impulsiveness (granted I think she could’ve taken DK in a fight). And while yes, she’s surprised when Cranky first accepts, meaning she might have expected him to disagree, the fact she says “that’s it?” makes it seem more like she expected a deal rather than a direct approval. She didn’t come off as someone who expected him to say no, but instead expected a conditional yes and didn’t consider what to do in case of refusal.
- When Bowser arrives, she intends to face him alone, literally getting surrounded by Koopas the second Bowser steps out of his ship. Then she tells him to use the star now. She basically sent herself on a suicide mission here, and clearly decided to face him without any sort of plan. Was she hoping her looking badass and all would be enough to deter him or something???
- The wedding scheme. Now, this one is fine overall and does show she can come up with plans, but also a few people have pointed out how there could have been alternatives. She could’ve tried talking Bowser out of the sacrifices, try to accept the marriage and bide some time in order to strike when there isn’t a fricking army standing right next to her. But instead, she chose to blow up the whole thing, which was a crazy dangerous plan. It also showcases what I was saying about her being confrontational, when this is the first thing she can think of. Now of course, in the end it was the best idea due to Bowser wishing to sacrifice other people, meaning she needed to act now. But with the context of Peach not knowing about said sacrifices, it means she still intended on doing the most dangerous thing first rather than getting the marriage over with and destroying Bowser’s empire from the inside. Heck had she waited until after the marriage she could’ve gotten access to the Star during the night or something. Also, again, there’s no telling how Bowser would’ve responded had she asked him to spare those lives, at least for the time being.
So overall, while I wouldn’t call Movie Peach an idiot as she’s not, she isn’t that smart either. She keeps rushing into dangerous situations thinking her fighting abilities will be enough to solve the issue, exercising none of the caution and patience Games Peach has when trying to escape or snooping around. And it honestly sucks that Illuminations decided to take out what is arguably one of Peach’s biggest strengths and replace it with another type of strength that not only she doesn’t need but also goes against her character.
Now, before we get into the last thing bothering me, which is her kindness or lack thereof, I’d like to talk about a few minor traits that could’ve worked in the kindness part but can also be talked about separately. Those things are her snark/sass, her seriousness and her anger. Basically, those are traits that both Movie Peach and Games Peach possess, and as a result it doesn’t bother me when Movie Peach displays those.
Peach in the games can be sassy at times, especially in the competitive games. That sassiness can also be turned into playfulness a few times, like in Superstar Saga when she trolls Mario and Luigi about her voice and laughs about it, or during the escort mission where she makes comments about how “it wasn’t that bad” when you exit an area.
Like Movie Peach, she’s also fairly serious during dangerous situations. It’s just that, due to her personality, she expresses a lot of worry in those situations, which might take away some of her seriousness when compared to her movie self.
As for her anger, boy is it present in the games, but again it comes off as toned down due to her inherent softness. In the 86 Anime, she’s constantly talking back against Bowser and gets mad at him a lot, same for Paper Mario 64. In Super Paper Mario, it’s easy to get her angry. In the ending of Odyssey, she’s pissed off, and I actually love how when she gets on the ship she needs to take a deep breath to calm down enough to bring back a smile for Mario. That doesn’t mean she isn’t angry anymore, but again she’s incredibly kind and compassionate so she’s willing to put it on the side for now and focus on getting home. Also in the intro of Super Princess Peach, she’s absolutely furious after reading Bowser’s letter.
About her anger, I can’t help but wonder if this is what Miyamoto meant in an interview related to the movie where he apparently claimed that Movie Peach is how he’d always wanted her character to be. Because let’s be real here, this claim, if true, is corporate bullshit. Miyamoto has a lot of power at Nintendo, he could’ve made Peach like that from the get-go if that’s what he’d always wanted. Hell just look at Showtime where Peach is the same as she’s always been in the games, very much proving that claim is false. So again, I can’t help but wonder if by that claim, Miyamoto meant her temper. Or maybe he was referring to the Adventures Comic, which is the only version outside of the movie in which Peach is confrontational, but then again she doesn’t know how to fight in that comic so…
I’d also like to talk about her confidence, since earlier I mentioned how overly-confident Movie Peach is in her fighting abilities compared to the games. Now, that’s not to say Peach isn’t a confident person, far from it. In fact, there’s that character pic from the second Rabbids games showing off her weapon and her smile makes her look very confident (that pic is at the very end of that post btw, if by then you remember this part). But despite her confidence Games Peach definitely comes off as a very humble person, while Movie Peach is low-key showing off during those fight/platforming scenes.
All this to say, if you praise the movie for “giving” Peach those traits, she actually always had them. It’s just expressed differently in the games. This is also what I meant in the intro when saying how all the characters are a bit off when compared to their games selves, but it still works for the most part. The traits are there, but in a different way that does make it seem weird while still making the characters recognizable. The issue with Peach specifically is that they went further than just changing a few traits.
Also because I don’t know where else to put it, Peach in the games is definitely a lot softer and delicate than her Movie counterpart, but I consider this mostly linked to body language, hence why I’m not making a whole part about this. But it’s definitely something the movie is lacking about her.
There's also her stubbornness and love for baking, but those are also things I don’t really want to focus on. Given the situation the characters are in and the fact Illuminations doesn’t know how to write scenes where characters just sit down and talk, there really wasn’t any opportunity to have Movie Peach talk about cakes. Now I do believe that this lack is due to Illuminations considering Peach’s love for baking as “making her weak and feeble”, but again, even if it wasn’t the case the movie has a pacing issue so they couldn’t have talked about this anyways.
As for the stubbornness, I just don’t really have any example in mind and don’t really know how to explain it as a result, but I do believe that both the movie and games selves have it. I might actually be inclined to say Games Peach is more stubborn, but again I don’t really have any examples of that. I mean I guess there’s the Mario and Luigi series where she disregards Toadsworth’s concerns a few times (wanting to see the Toad village in Superstar Saga, using the time-travel machine in PiT, the intro of Dream Team with the trap door). From the little I’ve seen of it, Paper Mario TTYD also has her go against his wishes at the beginning?
Now, for the last difference between the two: her kindness. Peach in the games is one of the kindest sweetest people you’ll ever meet. I think I remember someone actually mentioning how her liking cakes so much is fitting given her personality, as cakes are sweet and soft and bring a smile to your face, just like she does (sadly I can’t remember where I read this, whether it was a tumblr post, a youtube comment, something said in a video or something else). And while Movie Peach is definitely kind, it’s not as much as Games Peach. Hell whenever I see people praise Movie Peach for her kindness, they say something along the lines of how the strong female character archetype usually doesn’t make women be this nice. So what Movie Peach is clearing is actually a very low bar of human decency that people were asking for. In other words, Movie Peach is nice the same amount a basic supporting character should be nice.
In comparison, Games Peach really is kind to a fault. She’s always warm and welcoming to any new person, is said in one of her Melee trophies to be such a forgiving person she’s willing to play against Bowser, which is a sentiment you can also see with the few times they’ve worked together, also that one cutscene in the Last Spark Hunter DLC where the Rabbids go to Bowser for comfort and when he lets that happen Peach gives him the softest smile. Even in games like Mario Odyssey where Bowser is trying to forcefully marry her, she seems to show concern for him after he’s defeated in the Cloud Kingdom. On that note, she’s also very nice to Junior, despite how awkward it might be for her (never raises her voice on him in Sunshine, has over 80% compatibility with him in the Gamecube Baseball game, plays with him in one of the Switch Online ads/explanations).
Also as mentioned before she’s willing to temporarily let go of her anger at the end of Odyssey to call Mario to come to the ship. I also made a post about four instances where Peach jumped into a dangerous situation without thinking because other people were in danger, whether she knew those people or not + whether they were good or bad people. Btw since earlier I mentioned how Movie Peach lacked wit compared to Games Peach, those four moments show that yes, Games Peach can be impulsive at times and do things without thinking them through, but those instances are specifically related to her kindness/desire to help others, unlike Movie Peach who just does what she think is best in the moment and never plans anything. Also ironic I bring back the wit since I consider Peach’s kindness to be her second biggest strength, on par with said wit.
On that note, I’m one of those people who make up animations in my mind while listening to music and recently was listening to Wander Over Yonder songs thinking about Mario (“I’m the Bad Guy” with the Shadow Queen tho, or “You’re the Greatest Reprise” with Kamek, Bowser, Luigi and Mario when taking the order of which characters speak/sing first, also you have no idea how much I hope someone will make an animatic of Bowser singing “You’re the Greatest”). And the funny thing is, while thinking of voices and how the actor for Wander would fit either Mario or Luigi very well, it got me thinking of how both properties have a very nice/positive cast where even the villains can be friends from time to time, and I ended up comparing Mario with Wonder and realize that Wonder is actual pretty similar to Peach in some ways.
Both Wander and Peach are people who value friendship and understanding over fighting. They both love helping others, though it’s a lot more amplified with Wander, and are both willing to give the villains a shot at redemption, perhaps a bit too much, trying to see the best in people. Now what’s interesting here is that, while Peach is intelligent and her governing a Kingdom shows a level of maturity, at times she comes off as naive or airheaded, and I can’t help but feel like her kindness is the reason for it, and comparing it with Wander explains it.
The short version is, if both of them received an invitation from their respective villain claiming they were willing to change their ways, both would happily accept and go meet the villain with a smile. The difference however is that Wander would have Sylvia looking out for him, ready to jump in any moment. While Wander will play dumb on the possibility of the villain setting up a trap, he’ll be very much aware of said possibility and will be able to escape it. Peach on the other hand will drop all defenses and completely fall for the trap.
And I think that’s the thing with Peach’s kindness, and why she comes off as naive. Unlike someone like Wander who keeps a level of realism over the villains’ intentions and plays dumb about it, Peach believes the best of everyone to a fault. I’m especially thinking of that scene in the Switch Tennis game, with Wario and Waluigi showing up and half-collapsing, leading Peach to immediately run to them, ready to help, forcing a Toad to step in and tell her to be careful. Peach knows that Wario and Waluigi are bad news, yet the second they’re shown in trouble, she forgets all about the possible danger and wants to help, straight up needing someone else to remind her of said danger. In a way, it reminds me of that statement Miyamoto once made about how easy it could be to capture Peach by just giving her cake. While I’m not the biggest fan of this statement as it comes off as mocking her character, when you think about it, there is some truth to it.
Now I guess we kinda went off-topic here but also it’s a good way to show the way Peach expresses her kindness in the games, and how the movie failed to convey that. Games Peach sees the best in everyone, to a point where it can become a flaw, while Movie Peach is a lot more guarded (see her attacking Mario when he got close or her body language around the first Kong they meet). Also, Games Peach is someone who doesn’t seem able to hate anyone, though it is mentioned in I believe a Mario and Luigi game that she hates Bowser. Even then, I don’t remember said hate being really conveyed. Don’t get me wrong, Games Peach can very much be mad at someone and/or dislike them, and I do believe she doesn’t have the best opinion of Bowser, but she never comes off as outright hating anybody. Movie Peach on the other hand absolutely hates Bowser. Just look at her face when he tries to flirt with her. There’s nothing but contempt in her eyes.
3. In defense of Princess Peach
Lastly, I want to expand a bit on that whole “Illuminations looking down on Peach’s character” thing and the way people see Peach in general, along with talking about how I feel about some of her portrayals because why not.
Thing is, to an extent, I get it. Peach’s character origin is rooted in sexism, with her being meant as the damsel in distress who’s constantly helpless. She was definitely meant as a character of her time, and I get why some might find her boring as a result.
But the thing is, even with that origin in mind, Peach has always been more than that. Literally one insignificant year after the first Super Mario Bros game, we had the 86 Anime which gave her a personality. And then we had Mario Bros 2 USA where she was a playable character, one of the earliest playable female human characters in gaming (she wasn’t the first but still definitely pretty early). And while the mainline games kept a status quo of her being captured, we had the Adventures Comic with her being able to escape all on her own, the Mario Kart series with her being playable in every single one of them, same deal for the sports and Party games. She was playable in Smash starting with Melee, she was playable in the first two Mario RPGs (Super Mario RPG and Paper 64). Despite her role as damsel in distress, she was far from being put on the side when it came to non-mainline games. She even got her own platformer where she had to save Mario!
In some small ways, Peach actually reminds me of Luigi. He was player two in tons of games and absent in almost all big 3D games, meaning most players didn’t get to play as him in the majority of mainline games unless they played in multiplayer. Or he was playable but under specific conditions (pushing buttons in the right order for Mario Bros DS, finishing the main story and doing one special world in Mario 3D Land, literally finishing the game 100% in Mario Galaxy 1). And the first time he had his own game, it was in the early 2000s, less than 5 years before Super Princess Peach (granted Luigi’s Mansion was apparently a console launch title, which is a bigger deal; also no I’m not including that Mario is Missing shit), and it took forever to get sequels. And while he was playable in the Mario and Luigi series, he’s barely playable in the Paper series, neither is he in RPG.
Overall, while he does have much more playable appearances than Peach, a lot of it is conditional in the mainline games and he definitely struggled to get recognition, to the point of it becoming a recurring joke in the Mario and Luigi series + Nintendo made a whole “Year of Luigi” event to compensate for his lack of time under the spotlight.
As for personality, Luigi is shy and quiet, easily frightened, and often gets himself in trouble, with a few games needing you to save him. He looks up to Mario for safety and confidence and relies on him a lot, Mario basically being his rock. So you can definitely draw some parallels between him and Peach.
Now where am I getting with those parallels? Basically thinking about it, it does bother me a bit that Luigi gets praised for being an adorable dork while Peach is called bland and boring for expressing rather similar traits/being in the same situation, and I say that as someone who absolutely adores Luigi! In the end, I’m just going to assume it’s due to the weird hatred against women some gamers and fandom spaces have for some reason.
Speaking of which, since people claim to have an issue with Peach’s personality and how bland she is and how the movie “gave her a personality”, I’d argue that there’s nothing wrong with her character, the issue is her lack of screentime.
The best example of that is with Smash Bros Brawl. For most of the cutscenes, she’s getting captured left and right and is basically a non-character. But then there’s that cutscene on the ship where she takes the spotlight, and that scene is great! It’s incredibly fun to see that character during a huge crisis just pulling out tea out of nowhere and generally being more focused on befriending people than protecting herself. Seriously, while I strongly dislike how little agency Peach has in this story, I absolutely love this scene! Btw can we get some justice for Zelda? No because if Peach got shafted by the story, Zelda got it even worse. Even as a kid I could tell from her design that she could’ve done more to help, but instead the only time she actually does something, it’s as Sheik. Girl is clearly able to fight for herself yet she’s useless for the whole thing, it sucks!
The second best example is with the first Paper Mario trilogy, which is also probably my favorite version of Peach. The first game especially did a wonderful job at showing that just because Peach is captured doesn’t mean she has to stand around and do nothing, she can still help. This idea of having interludes with her sneaking around the castle does wonders for her character and really helps in making her personality shine, from her kindness to her wit to her adventurous side to her ability to put her foot down when interacting with Bowser.
Another thing I really like about it is how much it puts some of the kidnappings into perspective. In Paper 64, she finds items by sneaking around and then sends them to Mario. Hey remember the few games where she manages to send letters with one-ups and other items? Same with Mario 3D Land where she’s put in some sort of dungeon, tries to escape, and is put in a cage under high surveillance. Notice how in most New Bros games she’s in a cage when you reach Bowser’s castle, implying all those instances might have been failed attempts to escape.
Basically, while Peach doesn’t get much screentime, some games kind of makes you realize that she does a lot more than you’d think. She tries to get away, she tries to find ways to help Mario. She doesn’t just sit there and lament like many claim. Heck you can also see it in the 86 Anime and Adventures Comic. And reminder that the anime was created one year after the first Super Mario game!
Now the last example I have of Peach suffering from lack of screentime is with the Mario and Luigi series which, outside of the 2023 Movie, is probably my least favorite version of the character, not due to her personality but due to how wasted she is. And between those games being RPGs, meaning they’re supposed to focus on the characters, and the fact that the first Paper Mario games did such a good job with her character, the lack of screentime in those games is particularly aggravating.
In Superstar Saga, she’s actually pretty great! She’s fun, we see her kindness, playfulness, wit and desire for adventure shine. I especially like the way we see her craving for more adventures but can’t go on her own due to how defenseless she is. As someone who made a timeline of the games and has the first Paper trilogy + all the platformers with Peach playable taking place after this series, it’s a great way to slowly set up Peach’s growth into someone who can eventually go on her own adventures as a hero. Honestly the only issue I really have with Peach in that game is the game itself making a joke out of her getting kidnapped all the time. Not the greatest example of meta humor, guys...
I’ve also seen about half of Dream Team and she’s fine in it. I like how they brought back her thirst for adventures. But unlike Superstar Saga, she does feel more like a plot device in this one. Like there’s this whole section where Bowser and Antasma got the dream stone and Starlow is making a big deal about them kidnapping Peach, leading you to try and hide her. Thing is, if it was any other villain, I’d understand the urgency, but this is Bowser we’re talking about here. Peach is going to be fine, why are we wasting our time hiding her when we could focus on the bigger picture!
And even before that there’s this whole section of finding an older Pillow to reach Antasma for no other reason than Peach getting captured, because apparently they couldn’t think of any other excuse to have us meet the main villain, or give a reason for Bowser to show up for that matter. So yeah, the way they used her in Dream Team does make her feel like more of an object than a person, at least past the intro of the game.
But then we get to Partners in Time and Bowser’s Inside Story, and oh boy do I hate what they did with her. In PiT, you could literally take her out of the story and nothing of importance would change. The missing time machine? Just have the whole crew be Toads, it’s enough motivation for Mario. Petey Piranha? Either put a Toad, Kylie Koopa (and remove her scene later on) or even Baby Bowser, I mean why not! Princess Shroobs’ fake-out? Either keep that whole thing in since it’s technically not Peach (just have the characters comment on how she’s supposed to be on vacation or something and how weird it is that she’s there but oh well we gotta protect her) or, if you consider that cheating, just remove the scene and find a better excuse to have Bowser show up and go to the volcano. Or have Shroobs disguise herself as someone else, that’s still a possibility. As for the scene explaining who Elder Shroobs is? Was Peach even necessary in this scene? I mean, it’s pretty obvious what happened, and Elder Princess Shroobs could even explain it herself while gloating. I swear when I saw a let’s play of this game and Princess Shroobs commented on Peach now being useless to her, my first thought was “She was useful to you? Didn’t you try to kill her like an hour ago?”
As for Bowser’s Inside Story, she’s nothing more than a plot device. What does she do in that game? 1. Gives exposition about the Blorbs. 2. Is in danger as a means to motivate Mario. 3. Gives exposition about the Dark Star. 4. Is in danger as a means to motivate Bowser. Oh and did I forget to mention that she’s unconscious for the latter half of the game? Peach in that game could straight-up be replaced with a non-sentient magical item and the plot would stay the same. And I honestly don’t know what’s more insulting between that and what PiT did.
All-in-all, the issue with Peach isn’t her character, it’s the lack of time devoted to her. When she has enough room to be a character, she’s great! When she doesn’t, she’s either boring or a plot device, and it sucks that this is what most people remember her for when she has more going on than just getting kidnapped.
And since I’m out there giving my opinion on Peach’s different appearances throughout the franchise (you can skip directly to the conclusion if you want, this part is pretty off-topic):
My views on the first Paper Mario trilogy and the Mario and Luigi games are explained enough I think.
I also really like how she’s depicted in the 86 Anime. I like how she keeps standing up for herself against Bowser and talking back to him, on top of the usual being kind to Mario and co + her trying to be smart to escape. For Bowser, it’s like early on she realized he’s not going to raise his hands on her, so she’s free to fight back as much as she wants, even if she doesn’t have the abilities to get out of there by herself. Idk, while the Anime itself isn’t all that amazing (it’s pretty funny in how bonkers it is though), I really like what they did with both Peach and Bowser. And it’s pretty fascinating how their modern personalities aren’t that far off from this very early portrayal.
The Mario + Rabbids games also absolutely nail Peach’s character. It’s honestly kinda crazy when you think about it that both the 2023 movie and Sparks of Hope were being developed at the same time, both worked on by a different company that Nintendo had some level over but ultimately mostly gave advice to, and yet the movie struggles to depict the characters properly while Ubisoft did a ridiculously good job at it. Seriously, remember earlier when I said every character in the movie was a bit off? If you want to see a comparison, go see the cutscenes of the Rabbids games. And even if you don’t care about characterization, still do yourself a favor and go watch those cutscenes, they’re amazing!
The Adventures Comic is an interesting one. While she’s very provocative and willing to fight, she also doesn’t know how to do so, and it makes her scenes very funny. Like I love how in the beginning she rants about how she’s going to defend her kingdom, then the next time we see her she gets attacked by Lakitus and gets kidnapped. Girl lasted 10 seconds out there. That contrast of her being all bark but no bite is just very funny, and it fits well with how comedic the story is overall. Also, the way she’s so willing to act is probably why people remember her as a badass in it. Because she does talk like a badass, but she’s not one because her actions don’t follow suit. Still, I don’t take that comic much seriously so Peach is definitely very fun in it, and that’s enough for me. And again, that comic does a good job at showing that Peach’s biggest strength isn’t her ability to fight, it’s her wit and good heart, shown respectively with her tower escape and her constant desire to actively help.
Also, about this comic and how people see it, even outside of the fact they’re not the same as she doesn’t know how to fight in it, I find it really weird that this comic is used as proof that Movie Peach is in character, considering how 1. Before the movie, this comic was the only time in over dozens of portrayals that Peach was shown as confrontational; in statistics we call that an outlier, 2. This comic was made in the 90s, you’d think a more recent portrayal could be used as proof but nope, Luigi’s Mansion 3 and Showtime are still different from her comic and even more so her movie self, and 3. That comic is outdated anyways considering the Koopalings are said to be Bowser’s kids in it, so unless Nintendo came back on their words after re-releasing this comic in the late 2010s, it’s still outdated.
The mainline games are...the mainline games. I’d also put the second Paper Mario trilogy and Luigi’s Mansion 3 in the same basket. When she’s on-screen, Peach is her usual sweet self, but those games also suffer from barely giving her any time to shine. I do enjoy her depiction in games like Odyssey, Mansion 3 and the intro of 3D World (mostly because those cutscenes are cute), but again all those games definitely suffer from having her on the back-burner for pretty much the whole thing, and are the main reason why people dislike her character.
I also can’t help but wonder if Sunshine is the reason why she’s seen as a “dumb bimbo” by some people, especially given the “Mama Peach” trainwreck of a cutscene. And I will say, Peach definitely feels very meek in this game. She clearly can tell that something’s off, yet she barely insists on telling Mario and Toadsworth. You’d think a princess would be more assertive than that, especially when the Mario and Luigi games show that she’s not afraid to go against Toadsworth’s wishes.
Going back to the kidnapping issue, ultimately I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with her being kidnapped, especially when it’s impossible in the mainline games to beat Bowser directly without a power up (the intro of Odyssey straight-up shows that Mario can’t win against Bowser in a fist fight) meaning it’s normal for Peach to be unable to fight back easily. Bowser is incredibly powerful all things considered (enormous physical strength, fire breath, every part of his body is a weapon, can use magic, necromancer, can jump incredibly high, has an army at his disposal, his car clown heavily negates his slow walking speed), to the point where even Mario and Luigi are kidnapped sometimes (Super Princess Peach, 3D Land for Luigi, and while it’s not Bowser, Luigi’s Mansion for Mario too). This also all kind of leads into a message about working better together or how it’s okay to ask for help, which reminds me of that Tumblr post about how Mario never travels alone.
That being said, Nintendo should definitely either do something similar to Paper 64 (or at least what 3D Land did with the letters showing her try to escape, that’s already a start), either have her only kidnapped in specific games like the big 3D games the same way Luigi isn’t playable in almost all of those, or reinforce her role in other Mario series like making Showtime the first of several games + bring her back under the spotlight in the Paper Mario series. Again, when thinking of Luigi and his time under the spotlight, you can definitely do a similar work-around where she still gets kidnapped in some games while being playable in others, whether those others are different game series or for example around half of the upcoming 2D platformers.
And call me an ass for that but, while I’d love to have her playable in almost if not every 2D platformer, I still maintain that the big 3D games should keep having her getting kidnapped. Again, outside of Galaxy (and even then for the first one it was very conditional), Luigi doesn’t show up in those either. And if you maintain a good balance between her being kidnapped in the big 3D games + a handful of 2D platformers all while making her a major character in the RPGs and even getting her own series, you’re basically keeping the status quo of the kidnappings all while removing the issue of a lack of screentime.
(Note that my main “issue” with having less kidnappings has to do with Bowser’s character. If Bowser doesn’t kidnap Peach, you need another excuse for him to be the villain. And given how his crush on Peach, the main reason why he kidnaps her, is the first thing used to make him more of a softie which I love him being, I don’t want to see him do more and more messed up things all while his crush gets forgotten. Then again, him being a dad is currently the main thing Nintendo uses to make him a softie, and Origami King still showcased his crush despite him being a teammate, with the two upcoming RPG remakes following the same trend)
Not very much to say about her depiction in the sports and party games. The characters don’t exactly have much personalities here, so other than more proof on how her body language should be, there isn’t really anything to say in terms of “I like/dislike the way they portrayed this character”...also I don’t own a single sports game and only have like 3 party games (DS, Island Tour and Super) so outside of watching the cutscenes there’s not much I know about those games.
Conclusion
Finally, a few closing thoughts about this whole thing, and more specifically the fact that one of my two biggest issues is her fighting abilities. Thing is, when you look at her jumping on enemies in the platformer games, her abilities in the sport games, the fact she’s in Smash and the upcoming Showtime game, it’s very easy to disprove my arguments, since Games Peach very much knows how to defend herself. And while I maintain that she’s not that great of a fighter in the games compared to the movie and is more of a pacifist, I understand this view. And thinking about it more, I think the true issue with her movie self is the attitude Illuminations has about it.
As said much earlier, it feels like Illuminations doesn’t like Peach in the games. I also think I’ve seen somewhere that her VO made a comment in an interview about finally giving Peach some personality, something along those lines? Then there’s also the supposedly original script where Peach was the main character, and how Nintendo told Illuminations to rewrite it upon reading it.
And even outside of the production info, that disdain over her Games character is all over the movie. Toad keeps hyping her up, along with other characters. During the training montage, when she does the demonstration, the camera slows down to show just how “cool” and “badass” she is. You get the vibe that, even if Mario wasn’t here, she still would’ve gotten the Kong army and taken on Bowser all by herself. There really are moments where it feels like the movie is going “Hey look at what we did with Peach! Isn’t she awesome! Isn’t she so much better than that wimp that keeps getting captured!” The best example of that is when she saves Toad on Rainbow Road. Like, this was the worst offender for me.
Princess Peach Showtime, on the other hand, gets who Peach is. The intro shows her going on a stroll with her little pink parasol. She cowers when Stella uses magic on her. And while she has a swordfighter and Kung Fu outfits, said outfits are given just as much importance as her baking and detective outfits, the former showcasing the one hobby Peach has been into for years, and the latter showing off her intelligence. And even outside of those outfits, her main attack is magic, more specifically a cute little pink ribbon. Also, like mentioned way earlier, the fact that it takes place on a stage gives the impression that Peach is playing roles, though again it doesn’t diminish her abilities.
I think that’s why I can’t stand her fight-oriented attitude in the movie but can’t wait to play Showtime. The movie looks down on Peach’s character and feels the need to “improve” it by changing many things about her, while Showtime embraces who she is and simply expands on it by giving her a more action-oriented role with the abilities she already possesses. I think that’s also why her body language in the movie bothers me, as it goes into that direction of “making her stronger” by removing her mannerisms. Now, again, there are a few more things other than her fighting abilities that they did wrong with her character, there’s a reason this post is so long after all. But by the end of it, I think it really comes down to how much disdain Illuminations has for Peach.
And on that note, you have no idea how relieved I was when the first trailer for Showtime dropped and Peach was her normal self! While I know the movie is going to get sequels, meaning we’ll keep seeing this random badass woman cosplaying as Peach, it’s at least very relieving to know Nintendo is going to keep writing Peach the way they’ve always done. And I can’t wait to see what Nintendo got in store for this wonderful, adorable, hyperfeminine, incredibly kind, witty, soft, cake-loving pink Princess!
Thanks for reading!
(All pictures were taken from the Mario Wiki except the first one that’s from the 86 Anime and the Mario Odyssey one)
#Super Mario#CAN A COMPANY PLEASE JUST BE NORMAL ABOUT FEMALE CHARACTERS FOR FUCKING ONCE ???!!! THERE WAS NOTHING TO FIX HERE !!!#Hey remember back when mlp FiM was a thing and people praised Fluttershy and Rarity for the amazing characters they were? I miss those days#I was having the best time with the Powser short and now this shit is dropping?! Like I'm playing it up a bit with due to the irony#considering the conclusion of my og post; but even without this in mind this change pisses me off so much#especially since I ADORE the og art! It's the most Peach thing ever!!!#granted I like the swordfighter one; given her stance her having a slightly more serious expression with the visible eyebrow works great#plus it's very minimal; they didn't change her whole face (eyes; eyebrows lenght and mouth) to fit in with the movie like the other two#and I'm actually torn on Kung-Fu Peach; I do love how expressive and cartoony it is but it doesn't look like the kind of face she'd make#I think it's the eyebrows; if they were tweaked to make it more in character but still kept her cartoony; I might prefer it to the og one#since the og one admittedly barely shows any emotion#the center one can choke tho; it looks horrendous; legit like someone photoshopped her movie face in there; shadows and all#plus I don't get why people say she's more expressive when it's a different expression altogether???#then again I can't help but see them as two different chacters; hence why I might not see how this one's doing the same face but 'better'#btw I love how in my og post I talk about how I'm in no way a Peach expert and the character doesn't belong to me#but now I just want to break into US Nintendo and go 'I'm confiscating her until you idiots realize she's perfect just the way she is!'#yes I'm blaming Nintendo of America for this; especially after hearing about the Kirby box art changes#On that note I HATE how this made me go from incredibly excited for this game to very wary of any possible changes they might do to it#also unrelated but I'm amused that they gave her teeth in the Kung Fu one given 3D Peach almost never has visible teeth#to the point where I hc that Toads don't have any and Peach's gem form keeps most of her Toad attributes; hence lack of teeth
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Some James (and Potter family) Headcanon
Because I always seem to fixate on Lily hc and he needs some love:
---James didn't really chase after Lily because she was pretty, intelligent, and cheeky (though those helped) but rather because she was a challenge for him. Not in the sense that she said no for years and he loved the chase, but because Lily as a person really expanded his worldview. Due to his extremely coddled upbringing and lush life due to his blood status/ quidditch ability, James always gravitated to people that made his life more difficult in an enriching way: Sirius was the first person to ever "hit back" with his own antics and not shy away from taking the piss out of him, Remus had a troubled life completely foreign to James that provided lots of apparent troubles but also made James see bravery in a new light, and Peter made him a mentor figure who saw merit even in meekness. Lily came from a different background from him and despite having a temper was highly rational and never reactionary even when faced with discrimination. Despite growing up in one of the hardest times to be a muggleborn, she overcame it. She found meaning and joy in even the darkest places ( her friendship with Snape being the most difficult of examples to understand.) and made James better because she didn't resign to looking at the world like he did, but rather sharpened his vision of it.
--Of all the many muggle movies Lily showed James, his absolute favorite was Harold and Maude ( Hal Ashby 1971). It was the first time he had ever seen a depiction of mortality really laid out in front of him and it was the first time Lily ever saw him cry.
--Nothing made James more angry than when Lily would be harassed for her blood status and the fact that she was dating him. This feeling was often left unresolved as Lily refused to let him retaliate, saying it was stooping to their level to fight back.
---While also having just natural unruly hair, James like keeping his hair unkept because it was an act of rebellion from his parents who acquired the family fortune on hair taming products. He felt like it brought a sense of irony to the household.
---I feel like this one MUST be canon: James hated Snape for a lot of reasons but I think the biggest was that he was so close to Lily for so long and James was never so lucky. Then, once Snape started to be into dark magic it was all the more reason to detest him.
--I know everyone loves Fleamont, but I am always partial to thinking about Euphemia Potter because there is so little known about her. I like to think she was a very eccentric and worldly person who gave her interest in muggle things to her son. I have this image of her listening to 1960s muggle zamrock around the house ( artists like WITCH and Amanaz---60s trippiness meets African traditional music). For a while I had this headcanon that she worked directly with the Statue of Secrecy Department ( hence why she met the Potters' in the first place due to Henry Potter's influence) so she was very up to date on the very thin line squibs and muggles would walk into either finding or revealing the wizarding world (like how hilarious would it be if someone like Alejandro Jodowosky or David Lynch was a squib and Euphemia was their case worker and had to call them up and be like "Cutie, you are giving away too much, take it down a notch" so they don't accidentally reveal wizard secrets.) For this reason her and Lily got along really well.
--James really loved to read! Everyone always makes James this jock, prankster bad boy but the kid was super smart ( I mean he became an animangus and made the marauders map--its literally canon). He had loads of books on Transfiguration and mostly read nonfiction, but Lily got him to read more fiction and muggle works once they got together. He was more practical about his reading though and was not very interested in the more existential topics that Sirius would often carry around.
--When he found out Lily was pregnant he quit the order on the spot. No questions asked. Lily was annoyed by this for a while. He pulled them out of missions before she had even finished her first trimester and even so she felt like he would have been much more helpful out on the field then playing house with her at home (especially when she wasn't even showing yet). Lily even wanted to keep doing missions until she was farther in her pregnancy, but James was beside himself about the idea of her continuing to be in danger while pregnant. It was one of the biggest fights they ever had and ended with James crying, which immediately broke Lily down.
(Art source @blvnk-art )
#james potter#hp marauders#jily#lily evans#jily headcannon#marauders era#jily headcanon#sirius black#hp#I think too much about them I need to find a new hobby#prongs
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