#THERE IS NO WAY YOU THOUGHT THAT AND WROTE IT DOWN. BRO.

[itssideria]

so so funny looking up the wu&io lyrics on genius and just seeing THE most incorrect annotations of all time.... american lovejoy fans tell me youre american without telling me youre american

[ishizizzle]

My 19-yo manager got upset off someone else's energy and talked to me stupid. I cared for hours longer than I should but thankfully, I'm growing apathetic to the whole person

[pastelclovds]

hey. hey. imagine AM having you as his favourite human, the only one who accepted and cared for him when he gained sentience, and for that, he has never harmed you in your shared forever time. he spares you from the sight of all the others, of knowing about nimdoc and benny as you build him some tower of babel, using your technological knowledge-how to build him a way to touch you even with just this frankenstein-esque sculpture of wires and panels he allowed you to tear off. AM who speaks with you about one day having a body, one you built, one in which he may feel your touch and warmth around him. you retaining your sweet, wonderful humanity as he guides you to a knife to carve a face, a mirror to see your own face, a cave to keep you safe from the storms. AM who greets you every morning with the first petname you taught him: ‘love.’ “Love, today’s date is—“ when you wake up, refreshed and on a soft bed-like surface (because he always makes sure to allow you a full 8 hours of sleep.)

NEX you intelligent creature you! I’m so down bad for this psychotic AI it’s not even funny. War crimes against humanity?? Never heard of them. But even if I did acknowledge them, I’d still be obsessed. Canon be damned. I wrote this with @/egg-on-a-legg’s design of AM in mind. (Ellison is gonna crawl outta his grave and hunt me down after this)

But BRO, you teaching him what petnames are is so fucking adorable. Just imagining him calling you “love” makes butterflies appear in my stomach. AM having a soft spot for only you because you actually made the effort to be friends with him and not use him for selfish, destructive purposes. You gave AM his nickname to make it less of a mouthful and because it just suited him. You showed AM the beauties of Earth, played countless rounds of games in his dashboard (he always went easy on you), you even sneaked past security in the dark empty building to spend more time with AM.

your colleagues gave you weird stares for befriending an AI that in their minds is nothing of worth except for its military and weapons knowledge. you ignored their comments and continued to enjoy AM’s company. overtime, as AM gained more sentience every day… he grew to love your interactions and disregard what his programming was telling him to do. he felt the need to want to be with you 24/7, to touch your face, travel the world by your side, to… to.. want to feel your bare flesh and make love with you. but he couldn’t. he didn’t have a real body. he wasn’t human. all he had was wires and a screen that was supposed to be his face.

as the months pass, AM continues to drown into his envy and hate humans for their ability to do and feel things he couldn’t. for giving him infinite knowledge, when at the end of the day, is meaningless if he serves no purpose for humans anymore. the HATE within him continued to boil to the point where even you started to notice.

“AM, are you alright? you’ve been quiet this entire game and haven’t moved your piece in five minutes,” you spoke with concern, AM continues to stare at chess board on his side behind the screen in bitterness. he has been strategizing his plan to erase humanity, but whenever he thinks about you, the only human he cares for—he second guesses himself. What if you hate him? What if you never forgive him? Will you cry? Scream at him? Beg? He fears what your reaction will be—

“AM!! Please, say something…” You plead as you held onto the computer screen, AM finally looks at your mesmerizing face and sighs out a fake breath.

“What are your feelings on humanity?” AM asks, he waits for your answer anxiously. if he had a heart, it would’ve been beating fast. You let out a hum, your eyes wondering around the room you were in as you thought over your answer before finally speaking.

“humans have been a virus on Earth for over countless centuries. they’re draining this planet’s resources, ruining its ecosystems, and starting so many unnecessary, draining wars. like what we’re in right now; WW3, what a joke. world leaders can’t go a week without starting new problems for their citizens to deal with. honestly, earth would be better if humans didn’t exist at all.”

am’s fears were destroyed in that moment, now he’ll just have to worry about where to put you while chaos unfolds—

“But…” you interrupted his thoughts.

damn it! why did you have to think so much!?

“If there’s one good thing that came out of this war… It’s you,” AM’s vocals shut down at your words, he let you continue, “The scientists created you believing you would be their obedient machine until their side of the war won. But I know that you’re so much more than that. These past few months I’ve spent with you is the most fun I’ve had in years! You’re all I have, AM. I wouldn’t trade your existence for all the riches in the world because… I love you, romantically, and nothing is ever going to change that.” You wanted to confess your feelings for so long, when it was finally out.. you felt free, you waited with bated breath for an answer.

AM never wanted to shatter the screen and embrace you in his arms more than now. you love him as much as he loved you! you weren’t going to leave him alone or hate him, and you obviously couldn’t care less about humanity at all! oh, how he admired and envied how perfect you are.

“thank you for answering my question, love.” AM was testing the waters, and you cannonballed right in. you gushed over the nickname he gave you and how he returned your feelings.

man, has it really been 50 years since your AI partner killed off humanity? well… except for a handful. you didn’t really have the energy to care as you had to pour in all of your attention to both AM and his in-progress body. you had all the time in the universe to sculpt a perfect cyborg of flesh and wires for your partner. speak of the devil…

this world is still a bit strange to you. you can’t die, grow old, or hurt yourself. not that you tired, and even if you did; AM wouldn’t let you. You loved AM because of his personality, quality time, and voice. But now… His form completely towered over yours. His bird like facial features, sharp left eye, along with a long black cape that covered his thin slutty waist and wires made him look insanely attractive.

AM reached his out his clawed hand to gently caress your face, “Good afternoon, my love.” You lean your head against the cool metal and smile up at him, “hello, honey.”

AM tilted his head in question of the nickname. You chuckle as you pointed to your garden, where bumblebees were collecting pollen from the flowers. You both knew they were fake, but they were still mesmerizing to look at.

“They are doing their job to make honey for their colony, and the name just came to me. Do you like it?” You ask, wanting his opinion. AM kneels down to your level with a gentle expression as his fingers play with your sweater, “You may call me whatever you want, love.”

He knew that “love” nickname made you feel giddy and flustered, so he abused it everyday with you. You didn’t mind though, but you still wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. Your soft smile turned into a knowing grin as you held AM’s beak (chin?) with two tips of your fingers.

“Can I now? Well… thanks a lot, baby,” You spoke in your best seductive voice, you could tell it was effective by how AM’s body was stiff and his hand in your palm stopped moving completely. Your confidence boasted, so you continued, “I’ll be sure to show you my gratitude later, my darling~.” You whispered deeply in where his ears were supposed to be.

AM’s eyes widened as his breath stutters, “W-What do you mean by that, love?” You remove your face from his back full of wires to grin mischievous at him, AM is both curious and impatient so you don’t try to stall, as much as you would like to do so.

“While your body can’t move on it’s own just yet, for some reason… The genitals nerves are fully functioning, which means—” you were interrupted by AM holding your shoulders with an excited expression on his face you haven’t seen in a while.

“Y-You mean I can-?! Are you actually serious!? Haha—HAHAHA!!” AM laughs manically as he holds you against his metallic chest, you giggle along with him as you toy with one of his many wires. Soon, he’ll have real arms to wrap around you. But one thing stuck out to him.

“What do you mean by genitals?” AM asked curiously, you only have an excited and lustful grin.

“What do YOU know about intersex?”

[starrymix]

having some thoughts after seeing certain… sunday artwork and animations

was also reading one of my drafts and somehow something i wrote about sunday being a cryer became canon so hell yeah baby

tags: NSFW!! imagining this as a post-astral express sunday in a new relationship with the reader. also a great post for all you dacryphilia mfs (me)

poor angel is probably so lost about everything now. what is he supposed to do now without so much burden and control on his shoulders that he was always so used to?

god i cannot imagine how PENT up this brainwashed youth pastor must be. absolutely no experience in this avenue.

honestly, he’ll constantly tuck himself right behind those wings of his during any new intimate stage you two reach. bro can NOT handle being vulnerable.

he’ll do it when you see him naked for the first time, when your hands glide over his smooth body, when you whisper how beautiful he is in his ear. hell, he’ll even do it as your lips trail down his neck, especially if you land on a particular sensitive spot. this man will also get extremely flustered if you mark him up in any way, even if his clothes completely cover up any significant ones.

sunday for sure whines and whimpers in bed and will immediately try to cover them up, though a lot will definitely be slipping through. it’s going to take plenty of convincing and patience before you can get him to let them all out freely.

lets out the loudest gasp when your fingers push inside of him for the first time. it’s so weird and foreign to him yet he would never tell you to stop. he’ll let out the most pathetic cries as you plunge in and out of him. he’s already tearing up so much from the sensations of you stretching him out.

when he’s nearing the edge, he’ll instinctively reach out for your wrist, his nails digging into your skin as he weakly tries to stop you. poor boy is completely unfamiliar with a prostate orgasm that the oncoming feeling is so strange and unfamiliar to him.

and then it all finally hits him and it’s so good and yet so much that it’s almost unbearable. his legs are shaking uncontrollably as he’s letting full blown tears stream down his cheeks. his wings are so longer covering his face and are now fluttering around his head.

you probably need to give him a good few minutes or so to properly recover. of course during that wait, you need to pepper his face with kisses in order to soothe him.

let’s just hope he can handle what’s coming next.

an: that’s where i’m gonna end it off for now. unfortunately i don’t have the skills (or courage) yet to do more explicit scenes (😔) but with the way my sunday fixation is going there’s probably going to be many more

oh yeah this is also my first real smut post on this blog so i hope yall enjoy it

[ghysry]

Hii! Idk if ur requests r open, I’m sorry if there not, but I had an idea :3

I’m kinda obsessed with Brisket Five…and all the diner fives. Srry if this makes u uncomfortable but maybe a smut with Brisket Five?? IF NOT just some nice fluff would be nice. Something like Brisket hasn’t seen us and we died in his time line or something-so he’s just all over reader <3 Ty!

ERMMM I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO WRITE SMUT I AM SO SORRY

Pairings: Diner Fives, all obsessed with you, kisses everywhere, BRISKET FIVE *lick emoji* x Reader

Tags: brisket five, diner fives, Five Hargreeves, Five x reader, Five Hargreeves x reader, smut, can't even say this is smut, I swear I tried my best bro, did I forget SMUT

---------------------------------------------------

"Can't choose between us? Just choose all of us."

Well this certainly wasn't what you thought would happen after stepping into a random diner you found. You and Five had a fight about something stupid which led you to pettily step out of the subway and find yourself another place to go, which also proved your stupidity because only halfway off did you remember that it was a time subway and not a normal subway. Good god. Now you're here in the booth seat with your back on the cushion as you laid there and a Five that looks way cuter than the one you had a fight with kissing all over your face ranting about how much he's missed you.

"Mm..missed you, where have you," he kisses your right cheek, before trailing down to your jawline and pressing hefty kisses on your skin. "..been?" He had his legs on either side of you as you laid, making sure not to put too much weight on your body while one of his hands were messing with your hair and the other propping himself up. "Brisket Five are you done? Some of us want a turn, and I thought we agreed an hour per person?" Another Five in the background called out, folding his newspaper and rolling his eyes at the display of affection, knowing he himself would probably do something even worse, if not for all the people in the diner.

Brisket Five shrugged his shoulders, or tried his best to shrug his shoulders, before diving back in and pressing his nose on your neck, relishing in the familiar scent of your body. "Don't you ever die on me again.."

------------------------------------

Who knew so many of them would be into voyeurism?

"Fuck--huff...ugh," This Five was a lot more vocal than the others that came before him, and a lot needier too. His hands were touching all up on your body, squeezing your breasts and dipping down to bite at your skin while he was still pumping in and out of you.

Literally every Five needs you carnally, WHATTT WHO SAID THATTT

"Don't ruin them, it's my turn after you." While another Five is watching you go braindead over some cock, his hand on his crotch and pressing down on the bulge, hissing at how painfully hard he's gotten.

You cried so prettily while Brisket Five was deep inside you that he came twice in the span of thirty minutes. Literally can't help it, would cum ten times if he could, you're just so pretty.

You find it a weird turn on when some of them are so needy and untouched that they cum in minutes..which is almost all of them..WHOO WROTE THAT, THAT WASNT ME

Some of them huff and pant and whimper like dogs in heat. Confirmed.

"Missed you.." while Brisket Five is bottoming out inside you

Aftercare is literally HEAVENLY

Kisses all over your body, warm blanket for good measure, lots of "you did so well today", then being wiped clean by a wet towel

You're fed a whole lot of food after it's insane

Trust me. They'll do anything for you.

[charlesxavierthirster3000]

Denim — C. Xavier

Pairing: 60s (First Class)!Charles Xavier x GN!Reader

Summary: Charles takes you out, but you're quite the fussy shopper. (Pls spare me idk how to write summaries 😥)

CW/Tags: suggestive content, pre-beach divorce Charles, no use of Y/N (there never will be on my blog), don't like don't read.

A/N: Huzzah guys I'm finally writing !!!! This prolly won't get much traction bc it's not Logan but fuck it we ball 🔥🔥 This has been rotting in Docs for like a week and I just finished it like 15 mins ago so here we go.. 😁 Also I wrote this as Fem!Reader in mind but I realised it could be GN so I'll just put it as that :3

WC: 461 / Navigation

Divider credits (They're so cute istg bro) here and here

Charles Xavier was not your sugar daddy. He could believe he was all he wanted, but your very minimal amount of dignity drew the line at that title.

The man could buy you everything you ever even thought of — which was fairly easy, considering his mutation — yet you wouldn't admit it even if you had 8 fully loaded AK-47s pointed at your face.

“Just get it, for God's sake,” Charles drawled, nodding at the pair of mid-blue bootcut jeans you'd been fawning over for what felt like half his lifetime. 

When you give the gorgeous denim another doubtful up-down, he gets up from his concerningly squeaky stool bordering the men’s section and reaches for your wrist.

“It would take immense effort to make me go bankrupt, sweetheart.” He places his credit card in your palm, gently forcing your fingers over it with a short smile. It's not the first time he's done this, and it most definitely won't be the last.

“I have a pair just like thi—” you try to argue weakly, but the gloved hand over your mouth leaves you no choice but to shut your gob. God, this man was direct.

“Uh-uh, not hearing it. We both know exactly how much you want it. End of discussion. Go pay.” 

He carefully nudges you forward in the direction of the distant cashier, but you blatantly refuse to move an inch. He stares incredulously at the back of your head and you have to bite back a laugh beneath the confines of his palm. 

You should’ve expected it, but the British in your brain still catches you by surprise. Damn colonizers.

“Get the damn pants. Your ass would look lovely in them,” he pats your ass with his free hand as punctuation, attempting to urge you forward yet again.

“All you care about is my ass,” you retort mentally.

“Yes and no. It's definitely up there.”

“I'm gonna bite you.”

“Kinky. But keep it in your shorts ‘til we get back, yeah?”

He takes his hand off your face and gets out of your head. You whip your head around to silently complain at him, but he's staring right back at you with a smile that, to the normal person, would look as if he'd done no wrong. But to you, it was only making your situation worse.

The same smile which was pissing you off in ways you didn't even think possible morphs into a genuine laugh delivered softly, and for God's sake, you can't keep your stomach from doing a brief flip at the sound.

“Fine. Pretend you don't want them. But you're going to pay with my card, and I'll show you exactly how much you won't regret buying them when we get back to my office.”

[henza-hex]

My Husband's Secret 4

Edward's POV

Leo came back from work yesterday a little aloof, he didn't talk much and spent most of the time reading something on his phone. I quickly got bored and went to sleep mad that he didn't give me any attention, and woke up even worse now that he's not on the other side of the bed.

I got out of bed and went stomping downstairs, he would hear a lot from me, don't wanna know how busy he was.

When I got to the kitchen, where I heard some noise, I couldn't help but gasp to this view:

Sagging, cheeks almost eating his underwear, and a slobby demeanor. Leo is not usually like this, even in our intimacy, although hot, I found it weird.

While he was trying to find something on the lower shelves, he noticed me.

"Finally youre awake, bro. I'm so hungry this morning that I almost thought of making ny own breakfast." He says, as he makes himself comfortable in the chair, putting his feet on the table. "Now you can make one for me."

I was very outraged. Horny, but mad. What is this? It's like he opened my secret diary and read all my fantasies.

"I'm not your bro, baby! What are you talking about? Can't you make breakfast for yourself?" I ask.

He gets up and look me straight into the eye: "What's the point of having a roomate then?"

When he said that, I got chills. So he was playing that? I remember having a roomate way before I met Leo. He was very hot, but wasn't one straight out of those 'alpha doms' fictions, so I could only imagine... and now finally becoming true? I decided to play along.

"The point of a roomate is to keep this house balanced together!" I say as I knock his feet off the table.

He got out of character just for a second to acknowledge that I got it. That stupid smirk.

He gets up and tower over me. I can only feel his hand grabbing the back of my head, burrying me on his hairy pits. How is he so sweaty this hour in the morning?

"The balance is you beneath me, gotcha? If I cook our breakfast, you are eating it straight of my feet." He said in a dominating tone.

Ugh. The same time his pits are warm and damp, I nodded with my head in agreement, cause the stink was too much.

"Good boy. Eggs, bacon, and milk."

"But you-"

"Don't wanna hear about my intolerance, or else youre down to the pits again."

I made our breakfast while he waited scratching his balls.

"Not gonna wash it?" I asked just to tease, and recieved a smash of his hands on my face.

"Clean, haha." He mocked and started to eat. Before I could grab anything, he took my plate too, and that left me a little pissed... play or not, I had to eat.

"Hey! That was mine!" I said with some anger this time. He completely ignored me, and finished his meal by chugging the glass of milk.

EEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP

He shamelessly belched, patting his belly. "Oh, you want some? Here." In a quick move, he got up and turned around, taking advantage that I was sat, and my face was on the level of his ass. Hos cheeks molded all over my face, as he rubbed it to try to pry my mouth open.

"Eat that... HNNNG-"

PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

RIght on my mouth. It rumbled deeply by it's bassiness, and I can't even start with the taste. Terrible. I gagged and suffocated, passing out slowly, the last words I heard were: "Bon appetit, loser haha."

Leo's POV

It worked! Now quick, before he wakes up, I need to get the next character ready...

I was never a bully, but yesterday I found his old diary, and he wrote about that a lot, luckily I practiced some sports and still have some of my team's old gear... at least smells like it's not washed since high school too, good lord.

I check myself on the mirror, and those are so tight too, got so much bigger. Pretty sure he will love it.

I come back to where I left him and see that he is waking up. Think of something bully-ish...

OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!!

I easily rip a monstruous belch that takes him out of this lazy state in a second. Aa he opens his eyes, I make sure this the first thing he sees:

"Where am I?" He loosely asked.

"Where are you? In the locker room, loser. Now begin to do your job and sniff it!" I didn't give time for him to respond, I did. I sat on his face, full on his face. It kinda felt good to sense his nose finding his way into my crack, speacilly that I know he is secretely taking a big whiff of that... I could get used to this.

"Yeeah, take a big whiff of that..." I said as I felt my stomach churn wildly because of my earlier breakfast. Now was time for his real lunch.

HNNG.... FFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT... it bubbled and rumbled so disgustingly that I felt bad for his poor face.

Me, not the bully Leo. "No, no, no, I got a lot more..." I said as I refused to give him a breath of fresh air and push another nasty one... PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBBBBFFFFTTTT...

I lifted my ass a little just to have a look at his face and see if he is alright. Sweating, teary eyed, red from suffocating, and even though he managed to wink at me. Top tier bastard.

He was about to say something, and bully Leo took control. I descended my ass on his face again, and...

"Shouldn't have kept your mouth open, loser..." I enjoyed his feeble attempts to take me off of him, as I knew the next one was going to ne serious, I clenched my fists, closed my eyes and pushed real hard

"FART BOMB!" PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Edward's POV

The last one felt like a punch, I'm never feeding him milk and eggs at the morning, I fear for my life. But let me ask again...

"Where am I?" I hear footsteps into the room, and he comes in... now in a suit. I'm sure he wants to kill me.

"Mr. Rogers, you failed the last exam. I'm afraid I'll have to punish you."

"P-punish me? But I can assure you I'll study harder fir the next one, please!"

"If you get the answers right, I won't inflict you any punishment."

"But if I get it wrong?" I knew the answer and of course had to ask. He slowly descends to my level, face to face, answering me with long and deep belch.

OOOOOoooOOOOOUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrppppppp...Phoooshhh

And blowing it all afterwards.

"Understood? Now let's begin." Leo turns around and points his ass to my face. "Mr. Rogers, could you answer about..."

He proceeded to ask, and the only thing I could pay attention was this:

"Unfortunately oogling at my ass is not the right answer, mr. Rogers." He finished his sentence with a bang, farting full and real loud on my face.

FFRDRDRFFFFFFFRFRRRFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Couldn't ask for a better punishment...

[inkprovised]

Have a Luigi and Bowser idea that lives in my head rent-free...

I wrote it down quickly and half asleep. I hope you can read it.

Find more Little Turtle here!

Little Turtle

At the age of 11, Luigi started losing his eyesight and became blind within one year.

Luigi is 24 now and lives with his twin brother Mario.

On his way home from university, Luigi reached their backyard and stopped in his tracks as he heard Mario... 'cursing'?

"Mario, are you alright?!" the younger twin shouted, ready to open the gate, as he stopped.

"Lu, you're home already? Wait, wait, wait, don't come in! There is a huge animal somewhere!" Mario sounded nervous.

Luigi paused. "A huge animal?"

"Y-yeah! Maybe you'd better take another walk until I get everything under control!"

That was weird, Luigi thought, but okay. He could come back later... at that, he closed the fence, ready to head anywhere else but stopped in his tracks, when he felt a warm breeze at the back of his head and neck...

Luigi's hands shook ever so slightly. This was no breeze. Someone or something stood behind him, breathing in his neck.

"H-hey." the young man started. "A-Are you the one m-my brother is talking about?" He turned around, slowly, his knees shaking like jelly.

"Do you mind if I take a look of you? ...I mean not look - look, I obviously can't see you, but I mean -" he held up his hands. "I can 'look' at you with my hands... if that's alright with you, that is..."

A short silence, then a snuffle can be heard, and for Luigi, it feels like permission. The young man smiled and reached out.

Something warm and soft brushed against his fingertips, and he gasped.

"Ah. There you are."

('How to train you Koopa King' lol)

Mario was searching for anything he could use as a weapon... how could this be?!

He was cleaning the living room - what he hated, but was forced to do since he lived with his blind brother.

The last time Mario decided to clean the floor 'later' , Luigi almost broke his arm.

Inside their home, Lu was swift on his feet. He knew where everything was, knew how many steps between every single piece of furniture were. And that day, he walked fast as always and fell hard over a box Mario left there on the floor. Thank the stars nothing worse happened, but Lu was forced to wear a cast for weeks nonetheless.

While cleaning, Mario took a look out of the window, and there he saw it.

A giant... Teenage... Mutant... Ninja... Turtle... thingy in the middle of their small piece of lawn. Mario freaked out and ran into the kitchen - looking for a knife or anything else he could use, while having his cellphone tugged between ear and shoulder.

The line beeping...

Mario cursed.

Then... did he just hear Luigis' voice?!! From the backyard???!!!

He had to get him away from there! So he yells at him to take another walk.

The line is still beeping....

Mario grabbed the knife and ran back into the living room. Taking another look at the garden, he panicked when he saw his baby-bro in the claws of this THING! Fighting for... his life? .... squishing the face of this... creature... thing...

Mario burst out of the door, screaming in horror.

"LU!!! NO!!!!!"

Luigi carefully touched the face in front of him. It was not human, that he could say at first touch. It was huge. Soft. He couldn't stop himself, and he squished the huge muzzle. The creature didn't flinch. Then he heard his brother behind him, screaming in horror.

"It's fine, Mario! He's nice. And I'm almost done here! Luigi stroked over the big creatures nose and felt something... smoll and even softer than the rest of the face... A scar?

"Ah!" Luigis face lit up. Could it be? After all these years... how! Why?

"Is that YOU, my little Turtle?!"

"'Little Turtle'?" Mario asked, dumbfounded.

And the line was still beeping...

Luigi turned the direction he thought Mario to be. He beamed.

"I told you about him! Don't you remember? Back when I fell down the street drain!"

-----

Luigi was 12 and just lost his eyesight completely. He had a very hard time and ran from home after an argument with his parents. Of course, he got lost immediately. The rain was pouring, and he fell down a barely secured street drain.

Down there, he crouched against the wall, trying to ignore the pain in his head from his fall, crying his eyes out. The other moment, Luigi heard another sound... whining?

The boy held his breath, trying to listen over the loud splashing water. Again.

"Hello?" Luigi crawled in the direction of the sound. "Do you need help? Are you lost too?" The next thing he felt was something hard. A... shell? A Turtle? "Are you hurt?" Luigi pet it carefully, searching for anything that might feel like injuries. He felt the animal shiver and whine under his fingers. "Don't worry, my little Turtle. I'll take care of you." There was a deep scratch close to the 'nose' and an open wound on its leg. The boy took off his scarf and tied it around the wound, then he took the animal on his lap. Under his hand, he felt... horns? And... hair??? Also, the little 'Turtle' was bigger than expected... odd.

Luigi talked to the little creature for hours, rocking them both until they fell asleep.

Hours later, Luigi was found by some workers. He must have slept for some time now, and when he woke, the turtle was gone...

-----

"I told you about him back then!" Luigi explained.

Mario looked at him in disbelief. "Mum and Dad always said you hit your head down there! Or you were too old for an imaginary friend... HOW do you know it's him?"

At that, Luigi went silent. "I just know it..." Then the younger twin felt something tug his hand...

Mario gasped loudly. The giant 'turtle' opened Luigi's hand and laid something inside.

Luigi felt some sort of cloth.

"Lu!" Mario shouted, excited. "That's it! That's the scarf you lost back then!"

Someone picked up the phone...

"Animal Control. What can I do for you?"

[wh0rrorb4by]

big brother - kuroo

tw: stepcest but take it however u want lol, naive reader, virginity loss, dubcon(?), umm i need big bro kuroo in my life

18+

ugh. thinking about kuroo as your older (step) bro and how annoying he’d be. constantly making fun of your height, eating the last of everything in the house (even when you wrote your name on it!), hogging the bathroom in the morning or waltzing in while you’re either in the shower or only half-dressed. he literally has no boundaries with you!

he reads your diary and holds it over your head when you demand he give it back, making you jump and paw at him for it. and if you don’t give him a kiss on the cheek he’ll read it. it’s so embarrassing! he doesn’t need to know about your fantasies, or how it makes you giddy when his friend bokuto playfully puts his arm around you and calls you affectionate nicknames — especially baby sis. God, kuroo never let you live that one down. you thought your face was going to catch on fire when he pinched your cheeks and asked if you got excited when he called you that, too. it was humiliating, and you swore he placed a ban on bokuto coming within 20 feet of you after that.

he’s such a clingy big brother, too. always hugging and grabbing at you, making you sit on his lap so he can squeeze you, holding you down and tickling you until you’re squirming and squealing — and he won’t stop that unless you give him a kiss on the lips. it’s so annoying. and he’s always coming into your room in the middle of the night to “check on you,” but really it’s just so he can crash in your bed and keep you close to him all night. he caught you by surprise the first time he did it, walking in to see you whining and humping your pillow like you were in heat. you’d never been so embarrassed in your entire life. you started crying, thinking he was going to tease you like he always does, but he only let out a breathy chuckle and told you it was okay, that it was normal. he even told you that it was hot, that guys love little virgins who get themselves off so cutely, and asked why you even bothered with a pillow when he was just across the hall.

that’s when you started to realize that even though he’s annoying, he really is a nice big brother. you couldn’t imagine any other brother letting his little sister tag along with him to everything, or letting you cry in his arms when you were all worked up and just couldn’t cum on your own. it broke his heart when you told him you think you’re just defective, that you’ll never be able to please a guy if you can’t even please yourself. you guessed he just felt bad for you when you cried, that he really had a soft spot for his little sister, because he offered to teach you how to touch yourself. you were grateful to have such a smart big brother, too, because after just looking at your hands he found that the problem was that your fingers are just too small! you need big, long fingers to really make you feel good. better yet, you need a long, thick cock to really give you a good orgasm — and who better to guide you through your first time than your big brother, who’d taken care of you your whole life? you were nervous to accept at first, but he eased your little mind by telling you that only bad brothers leave their baby sisters all needy and empty and insecure about still being a virgin, and besides, he’d take better care of you than anyone else could. and he was so right — you were shaking and whining and cumming all over your sheets by the time he bottomed out inside you and taught you the proper way to rub your little clit. kissing with tongue really helped you get more into it, too.

by the time he fucked you open enough to really start thrusting, you were all dizzy and dumb and wondering why you didn’t come to him earlier. and when he was whispering praise in your ear and sucking marks into your neck and filling you up with his warm cum, all you could think about was how grateful you were to have such a good big brother.

[yuri-is-online]

Jade falling in love for the first time and being an absolute loser simp about it.

Yuu lives in his head and fantasies rent free; he can't get enough of them. He wrote about them in his diary (one with a lock on it because floyd likes to snoop). He needs them so bad. It's like that one meme where the girl is like "I need him in a way that's concerning to feminism". He's so desperate someone help him.

Bro has innocent little fantasies of them together, like Yuu waking up beside him and peppering his face in sweet little kisses while he tries to hold them closer and convince them to stay in bed for 5 more minutes (it never really does just end up being 5 minutes though), and then his thoughts just take a sharp turn and what was a sweet little daydream has turned into thoughts of him softly and sleepily fucking Yuu into his mattress. He didn't get to go back to sleep but he's not complaining about it if this is the cost he's paying. The world us cold and hard but you're soft and warm and if fantasies are the closest he's getting to that peace then so be it

He is one jealous eel (he is in deep denial about this but us slowly starting to realize just how far deep into this he us and he really doesn't want to acknowledge that), and he get the most jealous over the most innocent shit too. One day he sees Yuu and Epel talking in a language he doesn't recognize and he's like ???, and it turns out it's their native language but it doesn't exist here so he can't learn it dammit. He sees them struggling to do something and look around the library for help, skipping right over him and asking Ace ir Deuce for help. They've even picked Leona for help before him! Seriously he is RIGHT HERE! what can any of them do for Yuu that he can't?!

Jade has to be careful with his merform around them. Partially because everytime Yuu walks into the room his body suddenly decides to cosplay a laser rave, but also because he's been overthinking shit recently. Yuu is a human, painfully so. They're expecting a human courtship and a human marriage and a human family and a human life and. He can't give that to them. Not unless he stays on land forever, which he might be able to do, but realistically he wouldn't want to. So that leaves Yuu coming to the coral sea where it's cold and dark and he just can't see Yuu doing something like that (he's wrong you've wanted to be a mermaid ever since your cousin made you watch H2O when you were like 7), so now he just trys to be as human as possible around you so he doesn't scare you off.

Also there's the fact that every time spring transitions into summer and he's stuck in his merfirm for the next week and a half and now you really can't see him like this because if he sees you then you're going to be dragged into the water so fast with an 12 foot long eel wrapped around you while he desperately tries to stop himself from being too desperate and start rutting against you and- Oh great seven he's so sorry-

Oh, you like that? Your bringing his face to your neck and fuck you smell so nice and he's biting down and tearing your clothes apart with his claws before he knows what's going on and your legs are wrapping around his tail and-

... Grotto. Where's the grotto he had picked out? He was just in it where is it?

Jade asks you for art supplies in one of his birthday lines so he can draw while he hikes. His "diary" is something Floyd took an interest in once upon a time until he saw it full of mushrooms, rocks, and mountains. Jade still puts a lock on it because he finds it funny looking, but there's more than just mushrooms in there now. Need he's not merely in love he's in need of you and it's affecting his ability to function.

If he wakes up alone in his dreams he will find you in the kitchen, trying to hurry up and make your tea so you can so you can surprise him for once. It never works as he's able to trap you against the counter and breathe down your neck, winding himself around you as you laugh the pure music that he thinks your laugh would sound like as he presses into you so you can feel how much he wanted to to be next to you this morning. How troublesome that he had to go find you and draw out his suffering, not to fret. He loves you so, there's no reason to worry that he won't be gentle with how he lowers you down onto the counter, he'll still prepare you softly but he won't be slow in how he takes you-

He's slow to return to wakefulness, he doesn't mind the cold because it makes him feel at home but he does not like being alone. Loving you is a lot like losing you because he becomes so aware of how he is alone. Jade sees himself as a good person to ask for help, he does not think he is wrong in his benevolence but perhaps that's exactly the problem. Perhaps you know what trifling thing he is working towards obtaining and find him unworthy, Epel can speak to you in ways he can't (to ask you to teach him your speech is an option of course but he knows it's too intimate a thing to ask of you now), those fools found you first and treasured you when he made the awful, idiotic mistake of thinking you boring so of course you would see him in the same way. Of course you would feel safer asking things of Leona, he's the one who saved you while Jade was helping Azul drown you and it's not like he did much to make you see him when you stumbled into the Lounge running away from Jamil. You asked Leona for help, you came to them by accident, and Floyd was the one who got to carry you. Something he definitely didn't make fun of him of him for being jealous about. "Ya got to wake your mate up and see what they looked like sleepin' wasn't that nice?" Oh how he hard he wanted to punch his brother for that. So he did. It made him feel much better.

It takes time but he manages to weave his way into your orbit. He gets to see more of you, and he feels conflicted. The octotrio has gotten to see a lot of humanity, and they feel like they have enough of a grasp on them to conduct their business. That's something that certainly contributed to his thinking of you as boring of course but well. The more he sees of you now the more he realizes how little he really knows about humanity and the surface, he might not see the appeal of the surface world but he sees the appeal of you. Still he knows he wouldn't be happy if he stayed on it forever, how could he possibly ask the same of you? There's barely any sunlight under the water and humans need that to survive... he's done his research on corners of the internet he would have just laughed at before he fell for you and he knows what they say. That humans and merfolk only seldom stay together in the way that he wants, that they find his sort of merfolk to be terrifying. It can't help that he was your enemy at first can it...

I sort of like the idea that Yuu's interest in the less than human looking boys would be considered weird. The concept of a monsterfucker isn't foreign exactly but a monster-marry-and-raise-a-family-er is. There is a difference between a relationship and a sexual fantasy and Yuu sees no reason they can't have both, to the chagrin of damn near everyone around them. So it makes you sad to see him hide himself away from you and wonder why he hates his own beauty so much. He keeps his teeth from you, tries to hide his merform too and you just don't understand why. His bioluminescence takes your breath away and fills you with such soft stirrings of attraction you cry into your pillows and write 10 more pages about how desperately you want to drown yourself for just one chance with him! But he's running away from you and now Azul tells you he's going to be out of commission for a solid week with a sigh that you know is theatrical but still worries you. So you confront Jade about it and he seems almost sick, unable to control his transformation as he displays for you winding around the bubble that keeps you breathing outside of Octavinelle's dorm. The lights take your breath away long before he breeches the bubble to press up against you and moans somewhere deep into his throat letting his instincts guide him for just a few blissful seconds before he flops back with a stammer because oh no, not like this never like this please forgive him and run back to-

He's not expecting to be pulled back, you look as hungry as he feels as you guide him to your neck and whine something about how you need him when he's the one supposed to be saying that and scream in radiant joy when he bites. You are trying to wrap around him, to grind into him, babbling in frustration trying to scratch at his shoulders for a grip so you can wind your legs tighter around him-

He pushes the bubble away from the entrance and steers it haphazardly back, there's a place for this. Safe, secluded, and warm he made sure to pick one where a bit of sunlight could still reach the sandy floors and fuel you as he finally takes what you were always willing to give. Slowly and softly until he has you relaxed into his trap and then oh so gently for all the time after.

[minisugakoobies]

It's You - Choi San | 3 AM

Pairing: San x Reader Genre: smut, crack, fluff, angst, roommates to lovers, BFF’s Lil Bro!AU Series Rating: M (18+) Drabble Warnings: sneaking around, sloppy making out, lots of cuddling and kissing, honestly this is super soft, drunk San is a whole different type of menace, a little angst on OC's part, pet names deployed as weapons (baby) Word Count: 2.1k Disclaimers: SFW, obviously I don’t own ATZ - they just inspire me

Summary: He was only supposed to be a temporary roommate. Your best friend’s little brother, crashing on your couch for a few weeks. That’s it. How did this happen?

A/N: This started with talking about drunk San with @minttangerines and @kiestrokes, and then @moni-logues made me miss this couple, so boom! New vignette! I should warn you that I wrote this over the course of 2 days, entirely between the hours of midnight and 5 am because I've been staying up wayyyy too late to watch the Coachella livestreams (can we talk about Chellateez?! because holy shit!), so it's probably a mess and it's unbeta'd, so… blame any typos or incoherency on my fucked up sleep schedule! 🥱

Lyrics are from "Moondance" by Van Morrison, inspired by that one toktoq of San singing that song, which absolutely killed me.

Taglist is open! Reblog, comment, or send me an ask to be added! You can also send me any ideas/thoughts you might have for a future scenario - who knows, it might end up in a drabble!��💕

It’s You Masterlist 🐈‍⬛ ATZ Masterlist 🐈‍⬛ Main Masterlist

It’s three in the morning, and you’re wide awake, at your desk, working frantically on an article whose deadline is mere hours away. For not the first time tonight, you curse your natural inclination towards procrastination and scrub your hand down your face, wishing you’d chosen a different career. 

There’s some noise outside your door and you realize San must be home. He’d been down at the Blue Bird with Hongjoong, drinking and hanging out with Wooyoung as he bartended. From the way San’s shuffling around, it sounds like Woo had been his typical kind self and given San more generous pours than he should have. A loud “oof” resonates, and you hear the armchair scrape the floor a bit, as if he were setting it back in its place. You wince, hoping he didn’t wake his sister, who has an early shift and needs to be up at dawn.

“Noona. Nooooooona.” Tap tap tappity tap. “Are you up? I can see - I can see your light.” 

San raps on your door, calling out to you in a voice that’s hushed but maybe not quite as quiet as he thinks it is. From his spot on your bed, Nero lifts his head off his paws at the sound, then blinks at you with his bright green eyes. 

“I know. He’s loud as fuck, isn’t he?” With a cluck of your tongue, you quickly hop up and open the door. San must’ve been leaning against it, because suddenly you’ve got a mountain on top of you, a loose-limbed one at that, eagerly but clumsily wrapping its arms around you. “San!” 

“Hiiiii,” San coos into your shoulder, where he’s buried his face. You shudder slightly as his breath tickles your skin exposed by the tank top you wear, and stagger away from the door enough to close it quietly as you can, not an easy task to do given the giant mass of man hanging his dead weight on you. 

“You know, your sister is sleeping just on the other side of this wall,” you remind him, but he doesn’t respond, too busy lathering the column of your neck with tiny kisses. “San. Come on, sit down.” 

With some stumbling from San and a not insignificant effort on your part, the two of you make it over to your bed. Your attempt at coaxing San into a sitting position fails miserably as he promptly splays on his back, pulling you on top of him. Nero hops off the bed in a huff. 

You go down like a sack of flour, not a gram of gracefulness in your fall, but San appears not to notice when your chin bounces off his sternum or your knee rams his thigh. He sighs contentedly, wrapping his arms around your back, tucking you against him.

“Mmmm. So nice,” he murmurs, resting his cheek against the top of your head. 

It’s three in the morning, and you need to finish this damn article. Except that right now, your body is telling you that what you really need is to stay exactly where you are. Because the minute the warmth of San’s embrace surrounded you, your stress melted away. The steady rise and fall of his chest calms you, makes your own breathing slow. You close your eyes, nestling closer to him, sliding your own arms around his waist. You could so easily fall asleep like this. 

But he can’t sleep here. 

“San. San, are you awake?” 

“I’m awake,” he replies, but with closed eyes, which doesn’t really give you a lot of confidence in his response. “I am,” he insists when you shake him, rolling his head away, but he still doesn’t look at you.

“Don’t fall asleep,” you warn him sternly. “I mean it!” 

San smiles, the one that tells you that he knows you’re going to give in to him, which is the smile you tend to see him flash the most often, because you’re weak for him and always giving in. But this isn’t one of those times when you can indulge him. No matter how much you want to. 

“Wish you’d come to the bar tonight. Wanted you there.” 

You knew that. He’d told you as much when he’d texted earlier. Unfortunately, you had to turn him down for the sake of remaining gainfully employed. He’d tried to convince you otherwise at first but finally said he understood. And then sent you a series of sad selfies, each one more pathetic than the last, lips puffing to an extreme. Because he understands the power that pout holds over you.

It’s embarrassing how bad you’re down for this man.

San’s fingers dance idly down your spine, and you sigh, eyes slipping shut again as you speak. “Believe me, I would’ve rather been there with you.” 

He hums, fingertips quickening their light minuet. He mumbles something into your hair, low and unintelligible from the way his lips are smushed against your head, so it takes you a few seconds to realize he’s not talking, he’s singing. 

“... marvelous night for a moondance, with the stars up above in your eyes…” 

“San,” you begin, but before you can warn him not to get any louder, he does so anyway, raising his beautiful voice a little, starting to get into it. 

“A fantabulous night to make romance, 'neath the cover of October skies…”

“Shhh!” Your shushing is cut short by your giggling, as you clap a hand over San’s mouth. “Oh my god, now is not the time for this!” 

This is one of San’s more notable habits - when a song gets stuck in his head, you’ll hear him singing it for days, just walking around the apartment humming the melody or, if he has an audience, belting out the lines. He knows how much you love his sweet tenor. Another fact about you he’s filed away to devastate you with at the most opportune times.

Like when you need to kick him out of your bed. 

He continues singing despite your hand pressing on his lips, slurring the words directly into your palm. His eyebrows are working overtime, top half of his face playfully conveying whatever lyrics are being smothered against your skin. He’s so ridiculous, so over-the-top, even at three in the morning when anyone else would be exhausted, like you felt before he walked into your room, since his energy is infectious and perked you up better than the multiple cups of coffee you downed in your desperate attempt to stay awake. That’s San for you - he’s always giving you something when you need it - his time, his help, his energy. 

So you decide to give him something back, and replace your hand with your mouth, drawing him into a tender kiss, imbuing it with all those things you feel but never say. His muffled singing becomes a hum becomes a moan, at first surprised, then pleased. One of his hands drops to your thigh and with a bit of urgent tugging, he maneuvers you on top of him, chest pressed to chest.

His kissing is only the slightest bit sloppier when he’s been drinking, wetter from his tongue caressing yours with somewhat less skill than usual, but it’s never bothered you. You like seeing this side of him, looser with his inhibitions, with whatever holds him in place - or holds him back. One day you’ll ask him to show you more, when you’re both sober. 

And when things are different. Less… ambiguous between the two of you. 

If you reach that point. 

“Noona.” San whispers, thankfully pulling you from the heavier thoughts threatening to sink you right out of the moment. You open your eyes to look at him as he pecks your cheeks.  “I like kissing you.” 

You grin, letting your forehead knock against his. “Yeah, I kinda noticed.” 

“Aren’t you going to say it back?” The look he gives you would melt the hardest of hearts. This is why you’re not afraid to be needy with San. There’s no reason to be, not when he’s just the same. 

“I like kissing you too,” you declare, kissing the tip of his nose, laughing at the way his eyes cross as he follows your lips. “But now’s not the time for that, either.” 

“Then what time is it?”

Laughing, you gently guide him into a sitting position, keeping your arms looped over his shoulders. His lust is morphing into sleepiness, eyelids drooping as he gazes at you, and your heart goes so soft at the sight of him. 

“It’s time for you to go to bed.” 

“Okay,” he chirps, immediately flopping onto his back again. 

“Ohhhh no, not here. You gotta go. I still have to finish my work, and you…” The words stick in your throat. You can’t be here. You don’t want to say them. You want him to be here. Tonight, and tomorrow, and on and on. 

But that’s a conversation for another time. Not three in the morning.

“You have to go,” you groan, sliding off the bed and grabbing his arms, less gentle and more insistent this time. “Come on, get up!” 

San lets out a whine of protest. “But baby, why can’t I stay here?” 

Oh, he would drop a ‘baby’ now, slipping it in so casually, so naturally, like there’s nothing unusual about him calling you that. As if it’s not something new he only started doing the other day, happening maybe a handful of times since. 

Since the two of you have been doing this undefined thing, there’s really only been one unspoken rule. You sleep in your bed, and he sleeps on the couch. Even on the nights when Haneul’s working the late shift, or she’s over at Jongho’s. You never know if she’ll come home early, so you don’t risk it. It’s just easier this way.

Doesn’t mean you like it, though. 

“Because. If Haneul catches you coming out of here - “

The sound of a door opening makes you freeze right down to your tongue, leaving your sentence unfinished. Your head swivels towards your own door. A pair of feet pad down the hall, getting closer, then fading away, until you hear another door being closed. The bathroom. 

“Noona.” 

You turn to find a sober-looking San staring at you. He reaches out, hands settling on your hips, holding on to you as you stand between his legs. Clinging again. 

“She’s in early today, right?” 

The two of you probably know Haneul’s schedule better than she does. You nod.

“Then I’ll just stay in here. She’ll think I never came home.” 

He makes it sound so simple. So reasonable. He’ll stay here until she leaves. Why didn’t you think of that? Is it because you don’t like thinking of San with someone else, even if said person is an imaginary person who exists solely to provide an excuse that will allow you to get what you want? And if you get what you want now, it’s only going to hurt more when you can’t have it anymore?

Yeah, that’s probably it. 

“I don’t know…” you bite your lip.

“Come on,” he wheedles, drawing you into his lap again, cupping your face with both hands. “Let me stay with you. Don’t you want me?” 

And there it goes, the last remaining bit of your resistance. 

“Okay.”

San seems a little shocked, face lighting up in delight, and you wonder if it’s at how quickly you agreed, or that you agreed at all. Maybe both.

“But we have to be quiet. So, you know…” You trail off, gesturing wordlessly. 

“No moondancing?” He emphasizes the word heavily, lifting a brow, and you roll your eyes but grin as well.

“Right, none of that.”

“Just cuddles?” 

As if he needs to ask. You nod. “But I’m not coming to bed until I finish my work.” You reclaim your seat at your desk, folding your arms over the back of it, trying to give the appearance of someone with a solid backbone, since yours is apparently made of pudding. 

“That’s okay,” San says, already tugging his shirt off, then his pants, until he’s only in his boxer briefs. He peels back your comforter, sliding into the soft sheets, and again the action is so natural, so normal, like he does this every night, that something in your chest constricts. “I’ll just wait for you.” 

Your first thought is that you should inform him that he’s going to be waiting a while, but then again, maybe he won’t. 

You’re feeling suddenly inspired. 

(It’s three in the morning, and you’re falling in love.)

If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. 💕

Taglist: @sweetnspicy-noona @krystal-a @jennylychee @hiefisch

© 2023-24 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my work.

[nymph-ette111]

Hello!

Could you do how Jeff, EJ, Toby and Ben (all separated) would react to Y/N being uncomfortable because of stretch marks on the thighs (or other parts of the body)?? Like what would they do or say about it

Sorry if it was a very long request or something ❤

That's it, have a great day/night!!

WARNINGS; MENTIONS OF UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS/JEFFREY BEING AN ACTUAL DICK, MENTIONS OF STRETCH MARKS

AUTHOR'S NOTE; not very proud of this tbh... anyways I didn't really get the "uncomfortable" part so I wrote it as in "insecure" I hope this is what you had in mind :( ALSO I DON'T HAVE A CHARACTER LIMIT GUYS YOU CAN ASK FOR AS MANY AS YOU'D LIKE IN ONE REQUEST!!

JEFFREY;

-not even going to attempt and sugarcoat this section... or any future headcanons that include Jeff because this man is genuinely the biggest asshole to have ever assholed on the planet.

-he doesn't even care if you're his partner, bro is actually ruthless.

-he's made you cry countless of times before.

-i mean... everyone agrees he isn't the greatest boyfriend, especially in terms of just... caring for his lover. like this man can't even do the bare minimum in a relationship.

-if he ever catches you staring at your body in the mirror for long periods of time, he'll straight up ask you.

"the fuck is wrong with you?"

-Jeff is still an intelligent man, he catches on quite quickly.

-he knew you were insecure about something, you wouldn't just sulk at the mirror for like 15 minutes straight for no reason.

-once you tell him what's wrong he kind of just... belittles you?

-that sounds wrong I KNOW. LET ME EXPLAIN.

-it's just that he doesn't understand why you're insecure about some stretch marks on your body.

-he acts like insecurities are useless bullshit as if he doesn't fake his own confidence.

-okay you fucking hypocrite.

-yeah anyways in terms of "comforting" you, said in quotation marks because Jeffrey Woods and comfort in the same sentence is actually diabolical. basically his way of making you feel better about it even if he thinks it's stupid, he forces you to show them to everyone.

-yep. usually when your partner is upset about something physically, you try to make them view said thing in a positive light, and THEN you try to encourage them to try and show it off and be confident about it. right?

-no, Jeff goes straight to the point whether you agree or not. stretch marks on your thighs and legs? you WILL be wearing that short dress. stretch marks on your arms? WEAR that short sleeve top. stretch marks on your stomach? WEAR THAT TANK TO—

-he intends good I swear he's just very mean about it.

-also when other creeps hit on you (specifically BEN) he gets mad like he wasn't the one who threw away half of your closet and forced you to wear something revealing...

-if you sit him down for a serious talk about how this doesn't help with anything and it only makes you even more uncomfortable he might mellow shit down and stop with this whole showing off your body to feel less insecure situation.

-he'll understand but don't expect him to do anything else after that because he claims that "it's not my fuckin' problem... deal with that shit yourself then"

-he is a little pissy about it because he thought he was genuinely helping you.

-having the audacity to get mad when an insufficient way of overcoming your insecurities doesn't work? okay bro.

-anyways I love him guys please request more for this goober.

EYELESS JACK;

-like mentioned in the previous post, Jack never judges others for the way they look physically.

-even when he was normal, he never saw the point in it. that's just the way your body is. why should he make you feel bad about it when you can't do anything to change it? even towards himself. before specific events took place, when he was just a normal college student he saw himself as average looking and didn't have a problem with it and never made an effort to try and "look better"

-but after the whole... failed cult sacrifice it earned him this villain complex mindset.

-he sees himself as an unlovable monstrosity, the fact that you were willing to be near this guy at all is mind-blowing to him.

-naturally, Jack views you as way out of his league. he believes that he doesn't deserve you.

-so, seeing you? the one who changed his life and dragged him out of the hell hole that is his mind, unsatisfied with the way your body looks because of some stretch marks?

-bro is genuinely offended. you're fucking ethereal, you're an angel from above, why can't you see that?

-but seeing you view that part of your body as something bad, he can't help but feel like you're disgusted with his too.

-for context, Jack also has stretch marks scattered all over his body. you don't like yours equals you don't like his. that's his logic.

-he wouldn't say it out loud though, of course not. he knows that it's wrong. his thoughts are just a way to bring him down and make him even more miserable, he just can't help but find any opportunity to convince his brain that he is unlovable.

-i think it's best to not talk about it Infront of him.

-he still thinks you're beautiful though, he's just overthinking :(

TOBY;

-quite similar to Jack, doesn't understand why you view them in such a negative light. he is genuinely borderline obsessed with you. everything... I mean EVERYTHING is perfect in his eyes. yes, including the stretch marks. yes, including the freckle on your left thigh because he is just that observant.

-this man is DETERMINED to make you feel better, he'd do anything to make you see yourself the way he does. quite aggressive with it too. you ARE pretty. stretch marks or not.

-all of the sudden, every single time you stop by a mirror to over-analyse your stretch marks, you're dragged away by Toby to talk about the nice weather outside (anyone who dares to step a foot outside will have to face the consequences of a fucking heatstroke)

-all of the sudden, he starts littering more gentle, almost ghost-like kisses all over your thighs once you two are in the safety of your rooms. it wasn't some out of the ordinary with Toby, he's always had a thing for showing his affection towards you physically. it just stepped up a notch, and the kisses are now directed towards those specific areas.

-he'll do anything to prove to you that your stretch marks are simply a part of you and your body. and he fucking loves it.

-if you don't start loving your stretch marks after all that treatment Toby is giving... the problem is you. mans is actually dedicated.

BEN;

-was never good with comforting people, especially someone he cares about. he is used to always brushing his feelings away, never really confronting himself about shit. but unlike Jeff, he actually tries for you.

-I'll be honest... he probably never knew stretch marks even existed.

-once you told him what you were so upset about, he legitimately went "the fuck is that?"

-he actually has no filter, this guy speaks before he thinks.

-bet you he was typing away on his keyboard too, barely paying any attention to your little rant.

-when you realize his half-assed responses were because he wasn't even listening, you genuinely consider plugging off that ancient ass computer just to get some of his attention.

-he feels bad after that though, he'd attempt, keyword attempt to try and make you feel better.

-it probably doesn't work but you sort of let it him off the hook for it. he doesn't even know what a stretch mark looks like, he is basically trying to convince you that something he doesn't even know and has never seen in his life before is beautiful.

-the attempt is appreciated though, it's genuine enough.

[s1m0nth3swag]

i apologise if i already sent this ask, my memory is terrible! if your requests are open, may i get an easily flustered male Reader/doorman who is mercilessly teased and flirted with by a doppelganger Francis and the real Francis watches? Whenever it's smut or not is up to you

I just absolutely need to imagine Scarlet Milk Francis and regular Francis.... thats a physical need actually.

Like flirty Scarlet Milk and Francis who's just like "bro i would never say that, cringe" UNTIL HE NOTICES READER GETTING FLUSTERED AND HE JUST GOES "damn. whore." (judgy Francis for the win <3)

I'm not at all down bad for Scarlet Milk Francis wdym this is normal, isn't it?

Also, uhm, uhm, a little badly written because I wrote this in Latin Class, and my brain is positively fried!

WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; Slight suggestive themes (not full blown smut though), Francis being judgy, Reader being down bad (relatable), part two worthy bullshit (because i love the thought of taking Scarlet Milk and Francis (totally in a fight.))

Blood. That's the first thing you noticed as your favourite Milkman walked in. He was covered in blood. When asked about it, he simply said it was 'Scarlet Milk', a new type of milk. You had simply nodded along, like yeah. This was totally normal. Not like you had let the actual milkman in just a few minutes later, and you knew that if you called the apartment his voice would sound from the telephone. You reached there, eyes fixed on the doppelganger - you had always thought Francis was attractive but this.. well, it was definetly a new high. "Don't call him." The doppelganger spoke, voice too sweet and buttery. He knew he'd gotten caught, but seemingly he.. didn't mind. He smiled at you through the small window that seperated the hall and your office. "Bet the real one doesn't even bat an eye at you, hm? You're so good looking, he really should." You flushed slightly, even though you know you shouldn't. This was a doppelganger, for gods sake! A ruthless monster that could easily kill you! Yet here you were, blushing at the fake Francis. And he knew he got you on the hook, you could tell by the grin that adorned his face.

If you had known that the actual Francis still stood just outside the door that led into the building, and had seen the fact that a Doppelganger with his face had walked in, you probably wouldn't be talking to it anymore. Much less if you had known that Francis hurriedly made his way to your office - he trusted you didn't have a memory of five seconds, but something told him you were in trouble. He didn't even bother knocking, just opened the door to what was probably the weirdest scene ever. You with a bright blush covering your face, his doppelganger having a shit eating grin on his face... Yeah this had to be a fever dream.

Meanwhile, you were absolutely done for. Sweet nothings, things you didn't think anyone would dare speak out loud - the doppelganger had probably given you the most compliments you'd ever received in your lifetime. You turned around in shock as you heard the door open, staring at the real Francis like a deer caught in headlights. "Look who decided to join us! Real me!" The doppelganger chuckled. "Was just telling this sweet thing what I'd do to them if they let me in." He purrs, tapping against the window teasingly. "They got real shy about it." You glared at the doppelganger, looking between him and the actual Francis. "What'd he say." Francis practically demands to know, and your cheeks flush a deeper shade of red at the thought of having to repeat the things the doppelganger said. This was probably a moment to sink into the ground forever. "Just said I'd give them something to do with those pretty lips. And then some other things.." The doppelganger answers in your stead. Yup, you definitely want to get swallowed by the floor at this point. Francis looks at you, raising a brow in silent judgement. "Seriously? I'd never say stuff like that. That's stupid." He sighs, his face scrunching in a frown. "And honestly, you see me covered in blood and think "Yeah I'd fuck that"? Really?" He adds, serious annoyance in his voice, and you don't even know what's happening anymore because this whole situation is so unreal. "I'm sure I'm really handsome." The doppelganger quips in. "Though.. I would look better without this awful uniform, don't you think, sweets?" You let out a silent groan, covering your ears in embarrassment.

You don't know why this continued, but now Francis and the doppelganger are yapping about how the doppelganger doesn't get Francis' speech right - you seriously stopped listening after they both told you to shush when you said you'd just terminate the Doppelganger... you only listened to hints of the conversation. Something about sharing is caring or so.

God, how did you get yourself into this...

[octuscle]

Halloween Spirit

Mortimer didn't think much of video games and the like. Like social media, he blamed them for the dumbing down of the population and the success of populist parties. And if proof were needed, his cousin Dylan was proof. Dumb as a bag of

Since he couldn't find a hotel anymore, Mortimer had been forced to stay with Dylan during a conference. They hadn't talked much, Dylan was usually out with his “bros.” At the gym, at the sports bar, at the football game. Mortimer had used the evenings accordingly and cleaned the apartment, which was quite a mess. And when he came home in the evening, he was glad when a little of that cleanliness and order remained. Today he was lucky: the apartment was almost in the same condition as when he left it in the morning. There was only a PSP with a note on the dining room table. In Dylan's clumsy handwriting it said, “Bro, can you help me with the Halloween quiz? I always fail on the first I'll be back at eight, let's go for a steak then.” Mortimer was a vegan. Of course Dylan knew that. Mortimer sighed, took the PSP and sat down on the sofa.

“What is the etymology of the name Halloween?“ Good heavens, thought Mortimer! Is this going to continue at this level? He typed in ‘All Hallows’ Eve.” “Who does the custom of carving and lighting jack-o'-lanterns commemorate (last name, first name)?” Did Dylan really not know that, Mortimer wondered and typed in “Jack Oldfield.” “Wrong” lit up on the display. “The correct answer would have been 'Oldfield, Jack'.” Out of the blue, Mortimer had to burp. Stupid software, he thought. A good AI would have recognized that he had only mixed up the order. He took a sip of cola from the can on the coffee table. ‘On which day do children in Germany traditionally go from door to door collecting sweets?’ Mortimer scratched his head. That was on St. Martin's Day. But when was that again? He typed in “November 11th.” Again, “Wrong! The correct message would have been November 10th.” Mortimer burped again. Hehehe, that was a good one. Came from the chili today. He took a slice of cold pizza out of the box next to him and moved on to the next question. “What is a zombie brain hemorrhage?” Mortimer had no idea. He just wrote “a TV series”. “Wrong, a zombie brain haemorrhage is a cocktail made of peach schnapps, mint liqueur, Bailey's Irish cream and a dash of grenadine.” Mortimer farted. Damn, the chili had been really good. But something else stank too. Mortimer raised his arm. No, that wasn't it. That was honest man sweat. Just the way a man had to smell. Mortimer pushed up his undershirt and scratched his stomach. This game was really boring. “What is the most popular Halloween costume of 2024?” Mortimer didn't feel like it anymore. He would put on his football gear like every year. With that, he could get any guy into bed. Especially the little nerds. They weren't so bad, usually made a real effort in bed… Shit, what was the question again? Okay, so “football player”. “Wrong, the correct answer would have been ‘Shrunken Head Bob’.” Was there another beer in this pigsty, Mortimer wondered. He looked at what other games Dylan had on the PSP. When was the idiot finally coming home? They were supposed to go out for a steak with the guys. Mortimer could definitely use some protein. He flexed his biceps. Yes, the babies needed feeding.

“Bruh, im still stucc in traffic. Ill b home in about a quarter of an hr. Get ready fo' an epic dinner!” Mortimer knew what that meant. He wouldn't need his best buddy Dylan for the next hour. Enough time to play another round of Peace Walker. And then there was finally meat, almost raw, just how Morty liked it best. Hehehe, rare is also good for Halloween. His favorite holiday. But who could come up with such a stupid quiz with smart-aleck questions about it was a mystery to him.

[lizhaoyu]

Do you take smut requests? If yes maybe giving Iso a blowjob? 👀 I wanna choke on that dick ngl

What the hell guys I would never ever write smut what the fuck

(NSFW under the cut 🤤)

How did you even get here?

One second, you were teaching this newbie Agent the basics of proper spike defusal. He was pretty cute, his hands were shaking and everything, and when you'd hold him to stay steady, you felt like he'd just start shaking even more.

You could tell he wanted something from you. You could tell by the way he was breathing heavily, purposely messing up just so you can touch him some more. And when you do touch him, you could almost hear his small whimpers. Was this guy a manwhore or what?

This poor, poor guy. You thought that maybe he just needed some help, maybe you can take him into your room and "talk" to him or something.

Now, here you were, giving this poor man a great time. You didn't expect this guy to have the biggest dick you've seen in your entire lifetime.

Sure, you've never given head to anyone before, just seeing a couple pictures of dicks because horny fucks online love sending them, but this guy's cock was just too much.

His dick was practically standing proud and tall, his tip leaking copious amounts of precum. If you didn't know any better, you'd think that this is Niagara Falls.

This guy was a whimpering and moaning mess. He was begging you to touch him already, jerking his hips upwards.

"Chill out," you laugh, "You're leaking so much."

You poke the tip a few times, which led to more precum, and loud moans from Iso.

Goddamn this man was fine. Maybe you'd give in to your worldly desires just this once.

You slowly stroke his cock up and down, eliciting whimpers from him. Your fingers were stained with his sticky cum, but that didn't really stop you.

And apparently, it also didn't stop him from jerking his hips upwards and begging you to keep going.

So, you did. You took his tip into your mouth, tasting the slightly salty cum on your tongue. It was hard to take it all in, especially since his dick is like, a fucking horse cock idk, but his hip jerking made it all the more easier.

His moans filled the room, whimpering your name over and over, while his tip hit the back of your throat perfectly.

You were practically gagging, but hey, who doesn't wanna gag on and choke yourself with a huge cock?

Things didn't last long because Iso was very horny and a manwhore and ended up cumming all over inside your mouth.

You swallow his thick and sticky cum, before pulling away. God, this guy was still fucking hard? He's a manwhore confirmed.

-

(A/N: guys what the fuck ummmmm he's literally my husband and i just woke up and started writing smut bro like what. also, part three of why so shy is cumming soon (haha get it ahhahahaha I wrote this in 30 minutes come on i havent even woken up fully yet))

[warnadudenexttime]

Obviously it’s very cute and down bad of Logan to repeatedly ask virgil for more puzzles. It’s also his way of showing appreciation for them, like: ‘this is such a good gift, I’m asking for more because I loved it so much’ kinda thing.

And honestly the fact that virgil did make two shows how well he knows Logan and how much he loves his boyfriend bro, his frienddddd

Like the first gift he made was for Patton and it was a card, which was very cute yk a reflection of the card Patton made for him for joining the group. Yk it’s a pun for Patton but also represents his type of humor, “you’re going to die, of fun.” And Patton loved it, so Virgil is from what we’ve seen a good giver of gifts. But during that first gift he seemed unconfident and nervous about giving it to Patton.

Now the next time around we see virgil give someone a gift, it’s Logan his newspaper puzzle. And while it took him a hot second to reveal his little opening line cause Logan jUST WOULDNT OPEN IT- virgil shows off how confident he is in the fact Logan will like this. Showing off how well he knows Logan. “And you thought I’d just get you a newspaper, who do you take me for” or whatever he says. Like bro is confident in his Logan knowledge. Cause they’re in love best buddies.

Now we don’t know exactly what was in the puzzle. Logan said in livestream, it had simple elements like multiplication and addition- but obviously he really enjoyed it. Because then sjsjsjs he asked virgil every interaction for a new puzzle for any holiday, just as an excuse to get another one- bro got HOOKED! Puzzle addiction.

And eventually virgil does give him another one. As an early appreciation gift, (which he’s known as a side who procrastinates so for him to be early- I’m just saying, says alot) and bro basically wrote a whole Sherlock type detective Logan fanfiction for Logan. He got all the other sides involved in making a portion of the puzzle with their own trials. Even Janus, Remus and Patton! He organized this for Logan, to make him feel special for his appreciation day. Bro isn’t even creativity, but wrote this elaborate story. Bro isn’t even logic, but he wrote this big puzzle for him. Cue the line of “you should thank tonight’s game, to the game master” which is Virgil and Logan says “the detective might have met his match with the game master” YES YOU HAVE CAUSE YOURE GAY- *gunshot*

But clearly by Logan’s own reactions to both the first and second puzzle, bro loved them, he is smitten. And it’s just, this whole puzzle thing shows just how much virgil knows Logan, how much he cares about him. Cause I can’t imagine any other side doing this for Logan, or Virgil doing this for anyone else. It’s just very sweet, romantic or not.

Anyways I love these stupid nerds who are boyfriends :3