#THERE ARE LITERALLY SO MANY POINTS. WHERE THE KING IS LIKE 'you should let me do this. you should definitely die here. i am telling you to'

[iknowicanbutwhy]

Hello, do-not-make-Mirabelle-angry gang, I present to you @ksenya-and-the-artistic-cucumber being really funny with scattered context

[teal-sharky]

The literally only impressive thing about SpaceX Starship test is that it shows how incredibly dumb the audience is at this point.

People keep comparing Starship to SaturnV, because tentatively, if it ever became a space worthy vessel and orbital delivery vehicle (it's not); it'd be the largest and most powerful one in history, with SaturnV its only near peer (sorry, N-1, you really didn't qualify).

And the first "integration test vehicle" (read: the actually whole complete thing, that's literally the point of that kind of test; it's meant to be all the pieces, already tested and proven on their own, finally assembled into the final thing to make sure everything plays nice when together)

So lets see how did Saturn family development go in comparison? How many "integration test vehicles" did the Saturn project obliterate in the process?

ZERO. They blew up ZERO Saturn first stages, ZERO Saturn second stages, and ZERO Saturn payloads.

It's not fucking normal to blow up rockets this size and complexity, because they're expensive and dangerous! You build SMALLER, SIMPLER prototypes, you test those, you do all the "risky" tests on your separate parts of the system, and test the integration at less ambitious scales and stress levels. That's how you do rocket science. Iteratively, yes! But the iterations must make sense!

And let me stress

They got Saturn to moon and back in the SIXTIES, when simulation was in diapers (partially, literally invented within projects like the Saturn series).

SpaceX exists at a time where they can (and should) do 90% of the raw, grueling development with lot of painful failures in digital simulations, or tests where you build a small, simple thing and enhance the simulation based on what you learned there.

And the worst of it all is that another thing that Elongated Muskrat has at this disposal is all of the Saturn research. It's been DONE.

Saturn and other projects paved the worst of this goddamn slog. They did all the dirty, awful work already. They literally gave us the textbooks that you study from if you actually get a science degree (Elon does not have one).

And again, the most embarrassing thing isn't Musk and his poor, toxic, overworked circus that's SpaceX. The most embarrassing thing is the "space science enthusiast" crowd that's cheering on this launch as some sort of tentative success.

The king is fucking ass goddamn naked, and you all yes-men are an embarrassment to this doomed goddamn species. You're not supporting the effort to give Humanity a "chance at survival", you're hooting and hollering around a basementman dumpster fire that's literally immolating what's left of the scraps of natural and human resources we have left.

[thedragonkween]

King Baldwin IV Headcanons! ♔🤍♕

A/N: So, here we are. I could not resist this mysterious and tormented king's charm. His silky voice makes me dream! These are some headcanons I've collected off the top of my head. The Reader is implied to be female and married to Baldwin IV. Please, do feel free to hit my inbox to ramble about our king because I'm literally dying of pining and yearning.

tags: female!reader x baldwin iv of jerusalem (from kingdom of heaven); reader is married to baldwin iv of jerusalem; fluff; slight angst towards the end

wc: 1150k

reccomended songs to listen to while reading: "Summertime Sadness" by Hildegard von Blingin; "Right Here" by Ashes Remain; "Blood, Sweat, Tears" by BTS (orchestral version)

"Many are the tales of the King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem and of his Queen. Despite the varying accounts of their deeds, each one of them agrees on one aspect: the King of Jerusalem loved his Queen dearly, and the world is richer for it".

Baldwin IV is mysterious, intense, valiant, noble and utterly devoted to you, his Queen. But what does this devotion look like?

Firstly, he would believe in you like no other and would always be ready to give you his best advice whenever the weight of your responsibility becomes too much. Foreign rulers would soon learn of your qualities - there would hardly be a piece of correspondence where the King of Jerusalem does not praise the intellect and insight of his dear wife. He would glance at you from time to time, while you both work at your desks sharing the burden of paperwork, silently thanking God for having sent him not only a beautiful, but reliable life companion as well.

He values your opinions greatly and has the utmost regard for your views on political, military and state matters. Disagreements happen, yet your overall values are aligned, which is why Baldwin understands your vision and where your point comes from. During the discussions regarding complex decisions, he would let you speak and explain, then he would offer his honest thoughts on the matter, should he see another, different way from yours. 

Playing chess is a favorite way of spending quality time together in your chambers, away from the chaos of the court. If you know how to play and are proficient at it, he would delight in the thrill of challenge, as he would finally have found a true equal. If you do not know how to play, he would teach you with patience, taking pride whenever you make an unexpected and astute move. He would be such a nerd while he explains the rules to you and would be delighted to see how your mind works when devising a plan.

"Congratulations, dove. You have a checkmate."

I can also see Baldwin taking you on long rides, if his health allows it. He would sweetly check the reins and saddle on your horse before mounting on his steed and leading you away to enjoy the cool early morning breeze, before the heat of Jerusalem becomes too sweltering. You would have a nice and secluded spot to enjoy and to pretend that you are a couple of young lovers without responsibilities and crowns weighing on your heads.

Your presence brings him safety and comfort, which is what would convince him to remove his mask when he is alone with you and the physicians. He would especially love to rest his head on your la as you gently caress his curls while the physicians tend to his skin. It is a sacred moment. He does not know how he went so long without your presence during this delicate time. Speaking softly to each other, you would distract him from the pain with talk of your hometown, fairy tales from your culture, or even simply reflecting on a happening of that day. On these occasions, you learn how to best take care of him, watching the physician tend to his arm while you tend to the other, delicately dabbing the cloth over his wounded skin. Baldwin feels so protected and safe in your presence. He thinks you are God’s greatest gift to him.

Now, jealousy. Baldwin knows he boasts the honor of having an exquisite flower such as yourself to call his own. As do powerful men and courtiers from distant lands. Many covet your loveliness as one would a precious gem. Should one of these foolish people try to take you from him or even stare at you for too long to be considered proper, they would be met with a pure force to be reckoned with. Should a knight’s eye linger on you for too long, he would be quick to put him in place in his signature glacial, elegant way. Before long, everyone learns not to disrespect the Queen consort of Jerusalem.

“Perhaps you would have understood my point, had you not been so insolently ogling my wife”. He takes out his whip. “On your knees. You will pay for insulting the Queen”.

He would protect you with his life. He swore to protect Jerusalem and, as its Queen, that includes first of all you. Should a courtier doubt your devotion and mistake it for thirst for power, or should he learn of an orchestrated attempt on your life, he would waste no time in employing his best forces in your service to defend you.

His enemies and templars alike fear him, yet with you he is as gentle as the morning breeze that gently caresses Jerusalem. This powerful king who makes armies tremble and kingdoms shake is the same person who holds and kisses your hand (when in public, bringing your fingers to the lips of his mask), who silently admires your loveliness from afar and sighs to himself, who longs for your warmth after a tiring day. 

He would write you letters. Lots of them. And not always when he is away. Maybe he just liked the way the sun reflected in your eyes that morning. Or maybe when you helped a servant, he was moved by your kindness. Your every action inspires him, so much so that he has to let out his thoughts on paper. You have a pretty wooden box brimming with delicate papers penned by Baldwin in your honor. He is not only the King of Jerusalem, but also the king of pining, of yearning. Even when he has you near, he yearns for you.

I love to imagine him letting you accompany him to battle. He would love it too, in theory. You make him so strong, the both of you would be quite the sight, meeting your enemies head on, as one, donning your best armors. Yet, at the same time I cannot imagine him resting easy knowing that a loose arrow, a desperate soldier seeking glory for killing the Queen of Jerusalem, or fatigue and sickness could take you from him. It pains his heart to be parted from you, yet he cannot risk your safety. Instead, Baldwin would trust you with ruling the kingdom. He has absolute faith in your intelligence, willpower and cleverness, especially after all he has taught you about running the realm. He longs for you every second he’s away from Jerusalem, yet his heart is at peace knowing his kingdom is in the most capable hands.

When he feels that his time on this Earth is nearing his end, he calls for his most trusted advisors, including Balian and Tiberias. He would ask them, almost begging, to protect you always, at all costs, when he is no longer there to do so. Balian and Tiberias would exchange a quick glance to each other, vowing to respect their King’s wish until the very end.

“Protect her. Please.” “Always, my Lord”.

Poems, songs and stories would be written in honor of your love even centuries after your passing. Many tales would speak of Baldwin IV of Jerusalem and his Queen. Different pieces of art, such as paintings and ballads, would inspire people from all over the world to find a love as devoted and unshakable as yours. Until the very end.

All in all, to love Baldwin means knowing your time together is limited. As is the time of all creatures on Earth. He would beg you to go on after his passing, to live for him. He shall wait for you and protect you from above. Until the very end.

[pink-princess-pussy-pop]

Dating King Ben Would Include…

Holy shit,

This is a lot.

Def NSFW

Warnings: sex, language, not proofed, I’m a slut

- r u actually kidding this man

- Idek where to start

- How about this

VK

- the moment he lays eyes on you

- Fuck

- When he smiles at you for the first time???

- Bye.

- Falling for the king-to-be was NOT part of the plan

- But he’s so goddamn cute

- You slip into the stands at his tourney game

- He makes a great play and you let out a cheer

- Surprising everyone around

- And he just grins at you

- There’s a party that night

- You show up in your most flattering dress

- And Ben cannot take his eyes off of you

- (The beast inside is awakening)

- He asks you to dance

- his big hands fit on your waist so perfectly

- Your hands loop around his neck and your fingers play with his hair absentmindedly

- You’re so nervous

- He pulls you closer to him and whispers into your ear

- “Relax.”

- Hello???

- He’s so in love with you UGHHHHAGGGA

- not following plot anymore screw it

- “You coming to the game tomorrow?”

- “Why should I?”

- “I can think of a pretty good reason.”

- SHAMELESSLY FLIRTS WITH YOU

- “If we win, I get to take you out on a date”

- “And if you lose?”

- “We won’t.”

- Ben fucking winks at you and just

- Up and leaves

- Someone take the confidence juice away from him!

- You go see another one of his games and after he wins, he runs up to you, sweaty and grinning, gorgeous as ever

- Before you say anything

- His head dips down to your ear, hands slipping around your waist

- “My car is waiting for you. I’ll be there soon”

- The mf had no fucking doubts that they’d win

- He gives you another million dollar smile before jogging away

- Leaving you flushed and a little turned on?????

- The date is absolutely wonderful.

- He changes ur perspective on everything

- Makes you his queen eventually

AK

- He’s such a gentleman omg omg

- PRINCESS TREATMENT OMFG

- Opening doors for you!!!

- Pulls out your chair for you!!!

- Ur a cheerleader

- He’s def the kinda bf to score and point at you like

- “Scored that for you, baby!”

- You wanna roll your eyes but can’t bc of his damn smile

- Don’t even get Ben started on your fucking uniform

- He’s down bad fr fr

- You in the colors of his kingdom??? HELLO?!

- He’s gone

- Such a fan of public PDA

- will kiss you ANYWHERE

- seriously

- Always has to be touching you

- The beast in him tbh ur his

SEX

- everything this guy does is

- Always turning you on fr

- At the worst times too

- He’ll just look at you and give you the smile he only does while balls deep inside of you while at dinner with his parents

- And he knows it too

- The way you blush and look away?

- He KNOWS

- Please he gets weak in the knees when you say his name/title

- “Benjamin”

- “King Ben”

- “King Benjamin”

- “Your Majesty”

- Bye

- I imagine that he’s so sweet at first but you can tell that he’s holding back (beast boy HELLO?!)

- You have to convince him to finally just let it out

- What does that entail?

- Let’s make a list!!

- Scratch marks on your thighs

- So so many hickeys (he doesn’t fucking care who sees, he’s the king)

- Finger print bruises on your waist and hips

- BITE MARKS

- shit

- This man has a heightened sense of smell

- So like… beware

- Low key high key loves the way you smell

- Will not stop sucking and biting on your neck bc of it

- BEN IS A DOM IM SORRY NOT SORRY

- it’s such a stress relief for him!

- Seriously as king he needs to release his stress somehow

- You luv when he’s rough with you

- A full on Edward Cullen breaking the bed moment and he’s scared to even touch you

- And ur like “Ben do it again”

- He’s all 😮 “wut”

- “Please?”

- And bam thinking with his dick again

- You love it when he fucks you in his office

- In between meetings

- When anyone can walk in

- “Don’t want everyone in the castle to hear your dirty sounds, now do we?”

- BEN IM SORRY

- HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP QUIET WHEN UR LITERALLY REARRANGING MY INSIDES ON YOUR DESK

- Riding him while he’s in his desk chair

- The staff is quite confused when he asks for a mirror to be hung as a decoration on the opposite side of his desk

- It’s so you two can watch obvi but they don’t know that

- OMG the two of you at formal events and he cannot keep his hands off of you

- The things he whispers in your ear my GOD

- looks like the two of you are just innocently dancing but if they really knew the dirty things he was saying to you

- “What would everyone think if they knew how turned on you are right now?”

- “You taste better than all the food here.”

- Like r u kidding me he’s the dirtiest guy

- MASSIVE DICK ENGERY

- Its unfair

- Him pulling you out of the ballroom to absolutely ravish you with his parents and subjects a wall away

- Him just fucking you while wearing his crown omg (cant stop thinking about this)

- He’s so needy all the fucking time

- Anyways back to office sex

- It’s his fav

- Literally you’ll be on his lap and he’s fucking up into you and he will get a phone call

- Motherfucker GRINS at you

- “don’t make a sound”

- And then ANSWERS IT.

- KEEPS FUCKING YOU THROUGH THE PHONE CALL

- NO MATTER HOW LONG IT IS

- Oh and def makes you keep eye contact with him the whole time with his hand on your throat

- Ben with a beard????

- Between your thighs??

- With the fucking fangs?????????

- DEAD

- DECEASED

- BYE

- GONE

- Is always down to eat u out

- Such a golden retriever bf about it

- Def fingers you in the car

- If ur driving??

- “Eyes on the road”

- 💀

- If he’s gone?

- You best BELIEVE he’s calling for phone sex

- “C’mon let me hear you. You sound so pretty when you’re desperate for me.”

- Soft mean Dom soft mean Dom

- Will hop in the shower with you just so he can wash your body

- Also makes you come with the shower head

- Loves boobies

- Loves ass

- He can’t decide which he likes more

- Loves making you watch what he’s doing

- If he’s going down on you?

- Eyes on him at all times

- Fingering you?

- You better be watching it

- That’s why the mirror comes in handy

- When you lock eyes through the mirror?

- His crown is lopsided and he’s just

- He’s just

- You know

- FUCKING KING BENJAMIN

- And he’s always smiling at you

- He knows what that smile does to you

- Uses it to his advantage

- He knows he’s pretty

- He loves waking up before you after a long night of straight up fucking

- He sees the damage done

- By him

- And it just gets him going!

- You wake up with his head between your thighs

- “Morning”

- It was in fact a good morning

- his morning voice adds to it

- You loooooove to tease him

- Low key flirting with another guy, if it’s fucking Chad you better get prepared

- Wearing an outfit you know he loves in a public place when he’s with his parents doing his king duties

- Putting your hand on his inner thigh during a meeting

- I hope you know what you’re getting into!!!

- He storms into his room that night where you happen to be lying on the bed, oh so innocently

- Wearing his jersey or a button up of his

- You don’t bother looking at him, already trying to hide the smirk on your face

- You can feel the glare as he shrugs off his suit jacket

- And removes his tie

- And loosens his collar

- And pushes his sleeves up

- (your favorite Ben look)

- He knows this ofc

- Sets his hands flat on the bed and just stares at you

- Finally you look up, a giggle escaping immediately

- “You think it’s funny, do you?”

- His hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you towards him

- His knee settles between your legs as he leans over you

- “Answer your King when he speaks to you”

- “Yes, your majesty”

- His head drops back and something (THE FUCKING BEAST) ignites inside of him

- He laughs

- Not like his true laugh

- A dark, sinister laugh

- Coming from Ben?

- Noble, brave, and good Ben?

- When he’s about to fuck you into oblivion?

- Good. Fucking. Bye.

- What’s Bennyboo up for??

- So much

- He’s horny ALL THE TIME

- highest sex drive ever

- Esp with the fucking beast

- He can go for hours

- King (lol) of stamina

- ��You can do it baby”

- “C’mon, one more for me”

- “Fuck you’re doing so well”

- “Good. So so good”

- He’s loud as FUCK

- not embarrassed about it all

- No fucks given

- Will walk out of his office he was just bending you over in to greet his father in the next room like MAN ISN’T PHASED AT ALL

- And you’re catching your breath like 😳😳😳

- On one hand, he’s so nice and genuine and so well mannered

- And then when it comes to you, he’s a cocky little shit who can’t keep it in his pants

[akystaracer22]

Maybe in Another Life We Would Hate Each Other a Little Less

A chance encounter sheds a little light on Adam that Lucifer couldn't have predicted, leading to a moment he thought he'd never have with the man.

Notes (Aka my thoughts while writing):

God is a dick and I wanna kill xem

Adam folds his wings like a bird because monkey see monkey do

Both these guys were traumatised by the same person and we don’t talk about it enough

Probably Guitarduck/Adamsapple but in a fledgeling platonic kinda way

Refer to my ref for what Adam looks like!

I listened to Rät while writing this and- it kind of fits Adam???

Jesus is God’s favourite child and it fucking shows

How tf did this become a sickfic????

Lucifer gets the experience of being me whenever I make the impulsive move to boot up Char.ai and talk to literally any of the AI’s, get aunt agonied bitch.

Oh my god Adam has middle child syndrome.

Can you tell I attended a Christian school when I was younger???

Adam was hiding just how fucked over he was from the wing rot but he’s not having a good time in this. Most of the latter half of the oneshot is him dazed from both the one set of wing rot and the feeling of someone touching his wing.

Shit emergency wing HC for Adam ig: His wings grow warmer corresponding to his mood, as in when he is in general happier his wings radiate warmth and when he’s in a foul mood they’re just normal or even a little cooler.

In saying that yes Lucifer’s wings glow when he’s happy

Word Count: 1902

Fic under cut!

“Fucking- Shit!”

Lucifer paused, looking behind him and backing up to peek through the crack in the door. This ought to be good.

Sure enough, he was right, this was entertaining.

Adam was ranting again.

Honestly it was a nearly daily thing by this point, probably the only good thing about his daughters decision to let Adam stay at the hotel. He loved his daughter, he really did, by Adam was… Adam.

Lucifer knew he was a lost cause.

But still, didn’t mean Lucifer couldn’t tease the hell out of the man since he was stuck down here with the rest of them.

Lucifer’s smirk at watching the first man rant quickly died as he took in the guys appearance, he looked…

“What is wrong with your wings.”

Adam jerked and twisted around, scowling at him and oops he said that out loud didn’t he.

“Piss off!”

Lucifer, in his typical fashion, did not piss off and instead entered the room, “No seriously what is wrong with your wings.”

Now that he was closer, the king was certain they didn’t look like that a week ago. The feathers, while already having looked like a wreck were duller and the colours seemed almost… muted. Ignoring the already horrific state Adam’s wing were in, they shouldn’t look THAT bad so why…

“Wait-”

“I said-!”

“Have you not been preening you wings?”

Adam went silent, staring wide eyed at Lucifer much to the kings confusion. A beat passed, then two.

“What the fuck is preening?”

Lucifer blinked, he wasn’t serious, was he?

Surely not.

.

.

.

“By the heavens you’re dead serious.”

“What the fuck are you talking about.”

Lucifer debated whether he should explain it or not. On one hand, it’s Adam. On the other, Wings were a serious thing. He’d even seen Husker cleaning his wings from time to time, for Adam to just not know…

“You know what? For once my hatred of you is outweighed by my need to show you what’s what,” The fallen seraphim huffed, closing the door behind him and summoning a chair to block it from the outside so Adam couldn’t escape. “Come on we’re fixing this travesty.”

“What part of fuck off you do you not understand?!” The first man snapped, his wings mantling as Lucifer rifled through the closet, dragging out one of the many jars of oil he’d had the foresight to put in most of the rooms, perks of being a guy with basic common sense.

“The part where you’re being stupid and my daughter started rubbing off on me,” Lucifer shot back, his own wings serving well to corral Adam towards the bed, “How you don’t know how to preen your wings is beyond me but that’s ending today.”

“Again- what are you blabbering about.”

Lucifer paused, hand hovering just over Adams feathers. Preening someone elses wings was… intimate. It was something reserved for friends, family, lovers, and stuff… not enemies. Was he really going to just go ahead and clean Adams wings for him?

The seraphim’s eyes flicked over to where the ruined wing was draped over the bed. The wing was already in bad enough shape as it was, if he didn’t do this then wing rot was bound to hit it at some point and-

He didn’t really have a choice, not if he didn’t want to watch someone die of wing rot again.

Adam went stiff under Lucifers touch as he started work on the mans functioning wing, it was the easiest to work with, not the mention the safest to start with. The injured wing would no doubt be sensitive to any interaction, so better to start small.

Ish.

Adam shuddered as Lucifer moved between feather’s, periodically reapplying preening oil as he went. He was right as usual, looking closer most of the barbules had been separated and needed to be locked together again. Grimacing, the seraphim gently scratched out what looked like dried blood from where it was hidden in the base of Adam’s Secondary coverts.

“What are you doing?” Adam whispered, his voice for once lacking it’s usual bite. Lucifer paused for a second in confusion before Adam’s wing flexed back into Lucifer’s hand, “Don’t stop!”

“Okay okay!” The king huffed, working on his primaries, “What I’m doing is called preening. It’s something beings with feathers do to clean them.”

“Like birds?”

“Yeah, like birds,” Lucifer agreed, “The oil helps take care of bacteria, but you got to realign the feathers, get rid of the ones ready to moult, and fix the feathers that are out of sorts, though you can just shake the feathers to do that part quicker.”

“Mhm”

Lucifer shifted over to finally tackle the ruined wing and froze, a chill slinking down his spine. As he took in the state of the tattered appendage.

“Shit.”

This close the seraphim could see the red pimples under the thinning layer of feathers surrounding the injury, it was wing rot in its early stages.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Lucifer dove his fingers into the scapulars to shut Adam up while he discreetly conjured up some disinfectant for the rot, if he’s lucky he can treat it now and just get Charlie or Vaggie to deal with it now, knock it over the head before it becomes so visible the others can notice. He ignored Adam’s breath hitching as the seraphim started, just as predicted, the wing was sensitive from the damage done to it.

“But seriously you need to do this more, this is just horrific,” Lucifer grumbled to himself, not really caring if Adam listened, “Honestly I’m surprised this hasn’t happened to you before!”

“Mmmm tried once… I think?”

Lucifer, glanced at Adam’s face, it was pointed away from him, but he could still sense Adam’s attention was on him, “Yeah?”

“Saw the birds doin’ it and tried to copy ‘em,” Adam continued at the prompt, spreading his other wing, “It hurt so I stopped, didn’ know there was a method to this shit or someth’n.”

“You… nobody even tried to teach you?”

“I think they thought I knew,” Adam chuckled sourly, “I think they thought I fu’kin knew how to just- do this. ‘Cause I was meant to right?!” Another laugh, “I bit the fu’kin apple so I shou’da known this kinda shit! Apple of knowl’dge or what’ver.”

Lucifer, wisely, didn’t say anything, he just kept working on Adam’s ruined wing, applying the disinfectant, and fixing what few feathers were still healthy and removing the rest. If it was anyone else in this situation he’s wrap the wing and tell them to rest but… it was still Adam that was in this mess.

“I- why didn’t they teach me? Luci why didn’t they teach me this shit?”

“I… don’t know,” Lucifer replied carefully, deliberately skipping over the butchering of his name that sounded way to close to a nickname for comfort, “Come on, up you get he still got the underside to finish then I’ll be out.”

Adam grumbled but complied, sitting up a little to turn around as Lucifer summoned a pillow for Adam to lean back on. Rolling his neck Lucifer got to work on the auxiliary feathers, the lighter feathers were definitely in better shape, but then again that wasn’t exactly a high bar, and they still were looking rough.

“Jesus was prob’bly taught how to preen himself.”

Lucifer’s shoulders hitched as his wings tucked in against his back abruptly. Jesus… was a rough topic. For all sinners talked about him, Lucifer never met him but from the sinners around that time… it was never a fun conversation. Pretentious once kings cursing his name while hopeless commoners lined up for the exorcists blade, faithful until the end that Jesus would let them into heaven if they just believed in him.

… there was a pattern in there, wasn’t there. Like father like son, he supposed.

“Jesus was made from me and yet he’s God’s favourite fukin kid, course he’d fucking know how to preen,” Adam continued unimpeded, “Doesn’t matter if I was Gods first- Jesus was always fucking better than me.”

Okay! Lucifer was in no way prepared for this conversation, but he highly doubted Adam was even going to remember this conversation, so he just focused on the wings.

“…Luci, do they all hate me?”

Lucifer sincerely wished Anthony, or just anyone really would bust down the door at this moment, at least then he could get himself out of this conversation.

“Why do you think that?” the seraphim deflected, moving onto Adam’s good wing and going through his coverts.

“Because none of them ever fucking did this,” Adam waved his hand haphazardly before letting it rest on his chest, “You’re my enemy but you’re fixin’ my fu’kin wings because I’m too stupid and useless to just figure it out myself.”

“Not useless,” The words left Lucifer’s lips without his input, damn himself to double hell, but it managed to shut up Adam, so he kept on the thought train, “You’re not useless you were just never taught, it’s not your fault heaven doesn’t think.”

“Jesus-”

“Is God’s prodigal son and shouldn’t be counted.”

Adam huffed and leaned back on the pillow, “Why’re you good at this?”

“I’ve had aeon’s to learn, and over a decade of putting it in practice,” Lucifer thought about his daughter, a small smile making it’s way into his expression, she really was the best thing to happen to him.

He finished up with Adams good wing and moved onto finishing off the wrecked one. Applying the disinfectant to the infected spots on the underside before reaching for the preening oil again.

“Y’know, maybe in another life we would’ve hated each other less.”

Lucifer just laughed and started preening the wing, yeah right, maybe in a reality where the apple incident never happened, “You’re sick Adam, feverish even.”

“And you’re a wife-stealer.”

“Should have been better in bed.”

“Fuck you,”

Lucifer stuck his tongue out at the first man, earning a tired chuckle. Then the seraphim blinked at the sudden warmth radiating out from the feathers. What in the-?

“Oh… they haven’t done that in a while.”

Lucifer blinked up at Adam who was staring at his feathers in amazement, “Ackde-whuh?”

Adam leaned back and closed his eyes, “Yeah… sometimes they just get warm all of a sudden it’s weird. Hasn’t happened in a while though. Apparently it sometimes happened when Lute was around? I dunno why.”

Lucifer blinked a couple of times before letting out a small “huh” and running a hand through the ruined wing, it was definitely warmer.

Sighing, Lucifer let his hand fall away despite the wing chasing it, “Alright well your wings are definitely cleaner now, so I’ll be out of your hair now.”

The seraphim stood up to leave through the balcony, opening the window and almost stepping out when Adam called after him, still sounding exhausted.

“I can see why they left me for you.”

Lucifer paused, before smiling sardonically and looking back at Adam, who looked like he might have just passed out.

“Tell me that when you’re not delusional from illness and I might believe you.”

With that, Lucifer stepped out and left for his own room… though, if Adam woke up to a small plush duck on his nightstand, that was between Lucifer and the god that cast him down.

But there is one thing Lucifer will admit.

Maybe Charlie wasn't wrong about thinking Adam could be redeemed.

Pings:

@sleepy-hijinx @whatataha @cyborg0109 @birbisanon @legogator @overlord-rey @luckyburgerz @spiny-dogfishes @justakidicarus

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

july 2024 savanaclaw + 4koma manga updates

There's no Episode of Octavinelle chapter this month! It should also be noted that the next chapter for the Episode of Savanaclaw won't be out until DECEMBER. With that news out of the way, let's get into this month's updates ^^ (It's a lot of me screaming)

Aaaaaah, I'll never get over how pretty this mangaka draws Leona's eyes and hair 😳 LIKE LOOK AT THAT HEAD TURN BACK SHOT, DOES HE NOT LOOK LIKE HE'S A MODEL MAKING A TURN ON THE CATWALK???? ?? ? ????? ? ?? Vil... eat your heart out 🤡 (This probably is not what I should be focusing on in a chapter full of action and high stakes qwegkuvqwoevqwdsa)

The way the other characters are reacting to Leona's UM really lets us see how powerful King's Roar is! You can see how their bodies are being pushed back by the sandstorm, how they're physically bracing themselves against it (like Riddle, Ace, and Grim) or even having their vision obscured and struggling to breathe in the new dry environment (like Deuce).

I didn't share them here, but we also see Leona blowing through many Savanaclaw mobs. The sheer magnitude of power on display is really amazing--and I can see why his UM sparks fear in others.

AYO RUGGIE YOU GO He leaps at Leona and attaches himself to his dorm leader in an attempt to try and get him to stop...

(Warning: lot of barking incoming)

HUH????? ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? RUGGGIEIEKZ/???? ? ? ?? ?? ? ? v LEONAKL88onanasan???a?A/a/a///A//???????v? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?ohy mMYG FUFDSKDCKCIUNG GOAFKDk dsmdasnkdfsjlbyadosibiyoadsobadfbiyoegwofaegsouqetqfe LE*inAIBN na GRABBED HJSJUIJN IM BYT THE FFUCKINGGF F NNEDCKKKK>>>>>>????v?v?v??v?v?v?v? 😱 LOOkm at thhHOW RUgigie'es sa FACE AIj ssamS BREAKJGN???? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? GSITHE SKING IS CRACKIXNG GFAN D TURNING NTO SAND ANDN LOEONA JUST DONES'T JBI EF VE A SINGLE SHITAS RUGIGIE SI WRITHTING OVER HERB E OTL

It's not like seeing Ruggie in this state is anything new; the dialogue hints at it in the game and the light novel also has an illustration of Ruggie with his skin cracking from Leona's UM. It's just... something about seeing it depicted across multiple frames + the sheer desperation in Ruggie's face (and the close-ups, MAN, the close-ups) really amplifies the emotions.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE SASUKE CHOKE MEME, ID ON'T TKNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR TO CRY OR TO BE WORRIED FOR TRUGIGIE

MAYBE ALL THREE 😭😭😭

DAHLBEFQBOUFQEYVIQEFYFQEBIPFOA But also there's a part of me screeching about L*ona gripping your neck like that while glaring at you like you're garbo 🤡

Here's the part where Riddle attempts to collar Leona and fails. Again, I MUST stress how well this mangaka draws Leona's hair and eyes, they are UNMATCHED.

OKAY FIRST IT WAS HUGGING RUGGIE'S NECK, NOW YOU'RE GRIPPING HIM BY THE HAIR????? Leona's handling the perceived traitor so callously 💦 The way Ruggie is looking back up at him, too... Caught up in Leona's shadow and glaring at him with such defiance... declaring that he will never EVER give up.., contrasted with how broken and empty Leona looks before he lets go of Ruggie... telling him to just give into despair… It's a lot of complicated feelings going on right now. As the Savanaclaw light novel elucidates, Leona was afraid of his own dorm members looking to him for leadership, afraid that they would make him hopeful again--because he expects to be let down like he has all those other times he tried to prove his merits. Now everything leading up to this point has proven him right, toppled that hope he had built up because he let himself be taken in by the starry eyed students under him, Ruggie included. AND NOW LOOKING AT RUGGIE, ON THE GROUND AND IN DESPAIR, IS A REFLECTION OF LEONA'S OWN FEELINGS... BUT HE WON'T LET HIMSELF CRY OR BE WEAK LIKE THAT 💀

WOW UH This feels really different from how the same "Leona tried to sand Ruggie" scenes played out in other interpretations of TWST. Here, we more clearly see that, despite the interruption of Riddle trying to collar Leona (which made Leona drop Ruggie for a second), LEONA JUST TURNS RIGHT BACK AROUND AND FULLY COMMITS TO SANDING RUGGIE????? That's so stone cold 😭 Look at the lack of care in Leona's eyes???? They're so blank, he has entirely given up :((

What a way to end a chapter...

Now for a complete tonal shift--

This month's 4koma (there's only one "segment") stars Sebek, who is receiving praise from Crewel for having the top exam score! Ace and Sebek proceed to work on Enigmics/Magic Analysis together. They are stated to share this class together in the game, so that's a consistent bit of lore for ya! In the end, Sebek's able to pull a transportation spell by visualizing where Malleus is. He earns an apple from Crewel for being a "good boy"!! Sebek is then asked to teleport the apple to Malleus and Lilia to demonstrate his mastery of the skill, but accidentally teleports a ton of them.

That's it for this month! A little less content than usual, but still quite substantive. We're getting down to the wire; soon we'll see both Leona and Azul's OBs!!

[gilmore-angel]

unexpected pleasures || A.T x fem!reader

summary ♱ reader has just wed the infamous aemond targaryen, and though she's nervous, she will soon discover there are many pleasurable things to come (tldr reader gets finger fucked good)

warnings/contains ♱ arranged marriage, awkwardness at first, smut obvi, sub!reader dom!aemond, fingering, praise kink!! use of good girl, pretty girl, wife. overall very fluffy!! soft!aemond<3. let me know if I should add anything else!!

authors note ♱ okok this is probably trash but I'm literally forcing myself to write rn<3 lol anyways this is also my first time actually writing for aemond which is crazy bc I've been obsessed with him since like early January💀. if you enjoy please reblog! likes are obviously appreciated but reblogs are the thing that actually help the writer<3 oh and lmk if you want a part two!!

navigation 𔓕 follow and turn on notifications for @baysfics to know when I post my writings

married life isn't so bad after all.

of course, you've only been married for about three hours now, but it's going better than expected, which at this point is all you can hope for.

your new husband, prince aemond, has been quite pleasant thus far. you have only had roughly six full conversations since you were betrothed two months ago, but based off of them he was very polite and well educated.

though you had dreaded the wedding day, everything had gone smoothly. the ceremony itself was a big event, full of lords and ladies you didn't even know the house of, all eager to get on the new princesses good side. and of course there was the kiss you shared with aemond, one that sent an unknown feeling through you, settling at your lower belly. and now, the grand feast to celebrate the union.

it had less people there, only family and the very important houses were allowed to attend. you sat at the table in the middle, sitting in the center along with your husband. on your other side sat your father, mother and siblings, the same went for aemond. your husband stayed mostly silent during the feast, only speaking when spoken to.

your belly slightly ached with nerves for what was coming next; the bedding. thankfully, the queen had insisted upon a private bedding, just as she did for her other children when they wed. the action soothed your nerves a bit, but they still clung to you.

you had been warned by your mother that the bedding was an uncomfortable and painful process for the woman. but she also informed you that it is something all woman must do to please their lord husband and produce heirs.

you felt your heart sink when the king stood up weakly to announce it was time for you and aemond to head to your chambers. you both stood up and gave your goodbyes, your mother giving you a reassuring smile before you left.

there was an awkward silence as you walked with your husband to your chambers, escorted by guards. you glanced at him, only to see him looking straight ahead, blank expression on his handsome face.

once you arrived the guards pushed open the heavy wooden doors. you gave them a small smile in thanks before aemond dismissed them. as the doors closed aemond let out a small shaky sigh, you couldn't tell if it was out of nervousness or dread. you both stood awkwardly, unsure of where to begin. he spoke first, breaking the deafening silence.

"would you like help taking down your hair?" he blurted out. you nodded, giving him a awkward small smile.

"please," you moved past him to sit at the vanity. you began taking out the many odd placed pins and braids in your hair. aemond came up from behind you to start assisting in the process. the feeling of his long fingers in your hair made up for the times he would accidentally tugged too hard trying to take down the hairstyle. you both worked in silence, the only word spoken was his occasional 'sorry's when he would notice you wince.

now that your hair was down, the room was once again filled with an thick silence. eventually you stood up, turning to face him. you sucked in a breath, looking up at him nervously.

"should i..... should I remove my clothes, my prince?"

his eyes widened at the question, but he nodded, "yes, my lady... I can help."

he moved behind you, undoing the laces of the dress with shaky fingers. the gorgeous dress fell to the floor, pooling around your feet. you stepped out of the dress, leaving you in a silky shift and small clothes. you felt quite vulnerable as you begun taking your shift off, even more so once it was gone.

aemond let out a shaky breath at the sight of you in nothing but your small clothes. he looks up and down your body, desire filling his eye. he walks closer to you, looking deep into your eyes.

"may I kiss you, my lady?" he asked, his usual cold tone gone, now replaced with a soft, caring one. you nod, eyes wide.

aemond smiled softly before leaning down and kissing your soft lips. this kiss was unlike the other one you both had shared just hours before. this one was out of pure want, not obligation.

you gasp softly against his lips when he deepened the kiss, your hands flying up to his strong shoulders. his hands found home on your hips. he pulled away just enough to whisper against your lips, "is this okay?"

you nod, staring up at him with wide eyes. "yes, my prince, I just... I don't really know how to do this properly."

he smiles at you softly, moving one of his hands to caress your cheek gently.

"that's okay, just copy what I do, okay?"

he leans back in, kissing at a slow pace. his lips are soft and warm against your own. you feel something wet poking at your bottom lip and soon realize it's his tongue. you open your mouth slightly and gasp when he slides his tongue in, exploring where he can reach. the sensation causes a soft whimper to fall from your lips.

he begins pushing you backwards gently until the back of your knees hit the edge of the plush bed behind you, causing you to lay down on it. to your surprise, aemond gets on his knees before you and pulls you down so your legs hang off the bed. leaning up on your elbows you look down at him extremely confused. "my prince... what are you doing?"

he simply smiled and blushed, "let me know if you wish to stop, okay my lady?". his big calloused hands went up and down your thighs, pulling them apart. you laid back, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. his hands eventually found their way to your small clothes.

"may I remove these, my lady?" one hand continued rubbing you thigh gently. you hum and nod. that wasn't good enough apparently and aemond lightly pinched your thigh. "words, wife. I need to hear some words out of those pretty lips."

you blushed deeply, taking a deep breath, "yes, please take them off."

he smiles, murmuring under his breath "good girl". you felt a tingle in your lower belly, growing each time he touched or talked to you.

he carefully slid your small clothes off, throwing them somewhere in the room. he sucked in a big breath at the sight of your bare cunt. you squirmed slightly, his gaze lighting you on fire almost.

"may I touch you, wife?" he spoke softly, a poorly hidden desire behind the words.

you nod but quickly remember what he told you. "yes, you may."

with one hand he softly rubbed your thigh, with the other he rubbed one finger up and down your lips, pushing past them and exploring the wet outside. your back slightly arched at the unknown but not unwelcomed feeling. he moved his finger higher until he found your clit. a high pitched whimper escaped your lips at his soft but achingly good touch.

he looked up at you with a sweet smile. "does that feel nice, wife?". his finger moved in gentle circles, pressing ever so slightly.

a few breathy whimpers and moans slipped out of your mouth. "yes," you breathed, "so so nice..."

he let out a hmm, continuing his movements. he moved his finger up and down, gathering your wetness and then spreading it around your sensitive clit. as he rubbed on your bundle of nerves, his other hand came up, softly pressing against your slit.

"this may feel strange, my lady, but I promise it'll feel so good soon, okay?" he pushed a long thick finger into your previously untouched hole, groaning at how tight you were. your back arched off the bed as a loud moan rang around the room. he slowly started moving it in and out, sending waves of pleasure through your body when he curled his finger upwards. your gummy walls tightened around him, almost as tight as he cock felt in his trousers.

he looked up to see your reaction, smiling when he saw your head thrown back in pleasure. soft whimpers left your mouth as his movements quickened.

"may I add a second finger, sweet girl?" something about the way he said the affectionate name sent chills down your spine as you slightly bucked against his hand.

"hmmph, yes, yes please husband." he smirked as he added a second finger. he pumped them in and out fast, his other hand still focused on your puffy clit.

suddenly a new feeling hit you. like some sort of knot in your belly, ready to explode any second. a panicked expression washed over you at the strange sensation.

"aemond, aemond! something is, fuck, happening!" you cried desperately, clenching the sheets beneath you hard.

"shh, it's okay, it'll feel so good. just let it happen sweet girl." it was too much and too little, it was overwhelming yet you needed more. it hurt but felt so so right.

before you could reply waves and waves of pleasure washed over you, drowning you in the feeling of him. your whole body shook, hips bucking wildly into his hand. creamy white cum drooled onto his fingers and hand. he groaned at the sight and fucked you through your peak.

he eventually slid his hand out and climbed up the bed, hovering over you. he brought his cum covered fingers to you mouth, "open," he commanded softly, sucking in a shaky breath when you wrapped you lips around them. he pulled them out, moving to caress your cheek, "such a good girl."

he began kissing your neck, trailing his hand back down to your thighs. you whimpered sweetly causing him to chuckle.

"oh, sweet wife, we are just getting started."

[queer-ragnelle]

I'm honestly kinda disgusted by the way a lot of authors just seeped their misogyny onto Guinevere to make her so horrible, lol. effectively destroyed a lot of people's view of her and she gets blamed for everything?? people keep shitting on her, saying Lancelot should be shipped with "someone better" and I'm just really annoyed because.. Guinevere is horribly characterized by these weirdos authors 💀. It does not take much to portray her as a complex character while also not making her shitty on purpose because you don't like her for her affair, lol.

I love her so much and it's disappointing how she's been treated :(( which is why I'll never be able to hate Guinevere or her ship with Lancelot

My friend it’s honestly so exhausting at this point. It’s not even limited to writing Guinevere herself as insufferable, but writing other characters behaving worse toward her than they ever were in medlit. Arthur hitting and degrading her when he cheats on her? (Warrior of the West by M. K. Hume) Lancelot using her for political gain and never loving her at all? (Enemy of God by Bernard Cornwell) Owain blocking her passage as she flees danger? (Legend in Autumn by Persia Woolley) Agravaine threatening to rape her? (The Road to Avalon by Joan Wolf) Gawain threatening to rape her? (Guinevere by Lavinia Collins) WHO are these characters bro you got me fucked up!!! The subtext here is that the authors hate Guinevere (read: women) so much they’re willing to warp everyone around her to treat her like garbage!!!

“Guinevere is bad because she has sex outside marriage.” Yeah so does Arthur. He fucked his own sister. In the dark. Leading her to believe he was her husband. So there’s Mordred, but there’s also Loholt and Arthur the Less etc. Arthur has many bastards from his extramarital affairs. (Vulgate and Post-Vulgate) Yet he isn’t canceled. Hm. Wonder what the difference could be? Let’s investigate. Seems authors treat Morgause and Morgan similarly to Guinevere. Gee, what is the common denominator here? Meanwhile in medlit, Morgause didn’t commit any crimes—she didn’t rape Arthur to have Mordred, she never neglected her children, she never cheated on Lot, and she didn’t prey on young men, she had ONE consistent lover who was younger than her AFTER her husband died. And she was murdered for it. (Post-Vulgate) Yet every other author writes her as a rapist (The Once and Future King by T. H. White), child grooming (The Wicked Day by Mary Stewart), pedophile (The Book of Gaheris by Kari Sperring), trying to put one of her sons on the throne (many examples). Now, Morgan is evil. But not for lewdness, for trying to murder people. In literally every source. Hello. It’s very simple. These authors are ridiculous. They care more about highlighting their opinion that fictional women having sex is BAD than writing a good story. When there are plenty of actually bad things happening in medlit they could condemn instead. You know, like the misogyny? Burning Guinevere at the stake??? You couldn’t make this up. It’s the utter disdain for the material for me. Assuming these dumbasses are even reading the material. Write something else where I can’t see it. (To be clear, I don’t even hate all the books I listed as examples, but they are unfortunately examples.)

Thankfully I haven’t encountered the blogger discourse regarding this. At least not lately. My advice to anyone who sees people shitting on something you like is to block them. Just do it. Fuck that noise. It’s not worth it.

Also I have to laugh at ship discourse about Guinevere/Lancelot. Of all pairs! It’s so unserious. They’re not some random comphet duo from the newest tumblr trending fandom. They’re mythological characters from a medieval literary tradition. Lancelot was created for her. In the 12th century. That was 900 years ago. It feels juvenile to reduce them to ship discourse. Especially because the story is fluid, it can be reshaped to fit the author’s narrative. So if Guinevere sucks, it’s because they made her that way. This is the epitome of making up a girl to be mad at.

“Oh but in Knight of the Cart—” Shh stop talking. If you’re pulling out KotC like some “gotcha” about Guinevere’s treatment of Lancelot, then you’re lost, buddy. You may be seeking entertainment in the wrong place! Guinevere and Lancelot aren’t real. Nobody was “abused” because they’re characters, narrative tools, to tell a story. Guinevere is flawed. Nobody ever said she wasn’t. If that’s too much complexity for you then I don’t know what else there is to say.

Honestly? Nobody is obligated to like Guinevere. I think it’s stupid to dislike her but the real take away is—if you dislike Guinevere so much, hate her even, why the are you writing so poorly about her? She’s as old a character as Arthur himself. Show some fucking respect or get out.

Anyway I’m going to end this with a recommendation! Today I started the third book of Sharan Newman’s Guinevere trilogy. The first two, Guinevere and The Chessboard Queen were utterly AWESOME!! Lots and lots of named women, like Guinevere’s mother Guenlain, Cador’s wife Sidna and daughter Lydia, Guinevere’s handmaiden Risa, and so on. The one downside is Morgause and Morgan are your typical modern retelling baddies, but overall it’s two thumbs up from me. Many points of view, but Guinevere is fascinating and complex and most importantly she is beloved!!!!!! Really hoping it stays enjoyable through to the end. Miss Newman is still in print, so I encourage everyone to seek these books out at your local library or from your favorite bookseller. Here’s a quote from book 2, The Chessboard Queen.

[trancetales]

On naming and language in creative writing

I've been thinking recently about writing and specifically, coming up with names and terms within the setting. It can be easy to think to yourself about your own, or indeed of someone else's, choices of terms and names when you're creating a world and setting. "This name is so uninspired", or "This term sounds stupid." You might think it stands out like a sore thumb because it isn't an overly flowery term. That is fine.

Have you ever thought that about real world things? If, like myself, you've found yourself thinking that way about such things, maybe looking at some real world examples with a little more scrutiny can help put some of those thoughts at ease.

Lets start by looking at a few real world terms, first of all. Lets say you have a magic system, and it depends on something that you've called "manapools". Its a simple name, and its to the point. Its not the most out there name, but why should it be?

Have you ever thought about that time at the end of the week? You know, when the week ends, and it becomes the "weekend"? Its what we really called it in English. Its not very creative, but its what we call it, and nobody bats an eyelid. Why should they? That's what its called. Nobody thinks "the weekend should be called something more imaginative.

Another example is the word "waterfall". It couldn't possibly be more straightforward. It is where water falls. Water is falling, so, waterfall. Simple enough, and even someone who doesn't know what a waterfall is could probably piece together that a waterfall is that bit where the water is falling.

This is especially the case when you're talking about a fantasy or scifi term that will be completely new to someone. You actually want someone to recognise the term at a glance and have an idea what's going on. Not just because it makes it easier for the reader to recognise it easily, but because its more convincing from a storytelling perspective - even if there's a more scientific word in the world, are people really going to be using it? Have you ever heard anyone talk about Trochilidae? Probably not. Because when people see a bird that's making a humming sound, they're going to call it as they see it. A hummingbird.

Next, I'm going to touch on place names. Maybe your big city is called "King's Court". Maybe you're thinking that its not very inspired, in a world of Arendelles and Coruscants. If so, you might want to think about two things - real world place names, and the origin of the place names in media.

So we'll start with those two examples. Firstly, Arendelle, the setting for the film Frozen. Yes, it sounds like a fanciful name, but in actuality, its just a regular name but in the language. One source suggests that Aren would translate as eagle, and Delle is derived from the word for Valley. So if it were a name in English, it would just be Eagle Valley. The other example, Coruscant, is a planet from Star Wars. It sounds fancy, sure. But its actually just, a word. An unusual one, yes, but its just a word. Star War also features a city called Cloud City.

It's actually even less creative in real life. Here in the UK for instance, we have 25 places named "Kingston". This is literally just a contracted version of "King's Town", and when they had to distinguish them, they just stuck a bit on. Kingston upon Thames and Kingston upon Hull just put the river they were next to. And then there's Kingston near Lewes. The town is literally just called, "King's Town. The one near that other town." And don't get me started on how many places were just named after Alexander the Great.

The final thing I want to touch on is days and months of the calendar. If you choose to deviate away from the real world calendar, it can feel tricky to get a month that sounds like a month, and days can be even harder. That is, like before, less glaring if you think hard about the real ones.

Starting with days of the week, the simplest point I can make is this. In German, the word for Wednesday is Mittwoch, which literally just means, midweek. They didn't even bother giving it an actual name.

For months, again, its easy to overlook it because of how used to it we are, but not only are half of them really unimaginative, but they're also wrong. Everything up to June is based on parts of the pantheon and such, but when we hit July and August, these are literally just because Julius and Augustus wanted months named after them. So these two are just slight alterations of their names. After those two, we have September, October, November, and December. These ones are just names after the number of the month. Dec, meaning 10, is famously the 10th month, of course... So, not only is it basically just called "month number 10", about as unimaginative as it gets, it is also wrong.

On thinking these points over, I've personally found myself thinking less critically of my naming in all areas. If the UK can have 25 King's Towns, why can you not have a King's Court. If we have Hummingbirds, why the heck wouldn't your people call that fire-breathing dragon a Fire Dragon? And nothing could be worse than the months we have in our real calendar. So don't sell your naming prowess short, because you can't do much worse than the Romans did.

[qqueenofhades]

May I ask for new year’s eve Dreamling watching the ball drop because Hob celebrates every year, Morpheus isn’t the sort of person who cares at all, but Hob forces him to celebrate and wear the dumb paper glasses and stuff anyway

"Hob," Dream says, not for the first time, in a deeply pained tone. "I simply do not see why this rigmarole is necessary."

"It's necessary because I say it's necessary, you joyless git." Hob dulls the sting by leaning over to plant a kiss on Dream's cheek, adjust the 2024 cardboard glitter crown from Tesco that is perched atop the dread dark head of the immortal King of Dreams and Nightmares, and throw an arm over his shoulders -- all of which Dream suffers with the tense, bristled wariness of a cat suddenly subjected to excessive snuggling. "Plus, there's going to be a general election this year -- fucking finally -- and the Tories are going to get thrown out on their kleptocratic arses. Good as any reason to celebrate, if you ask me."

Morpheus mutters something under his breath that Hob can't understand but doesn't sound particularly complimentary, but for once in his eternal-ageless-stubborn-bastard life, decides not to press the point. He's already been horribly traumatized by enduring the New Year's Eve party and being forced to socialize with Hob's friends from around London and the South East and colleagues from Goldsmiths and all the other strays he's picked up over the years (indeed, very much like Dream himself). All right, socialize might be a stretch. More like lurking ominously with a single glass of prosecco and giving the other guests a fright when they come round the corner too fast, but at least he hasn't run screaming into the night or huffily evaporated into the Dreaming never to return, so Hob is going to optimistically count that as a success. Besides, it is tacitly agreed between the two of them that Hob's love language is cheerily bullying Morpheus into taking part in normal human courtship activities and Morpheus's concession is to act like this is the worst thing to ever happen to him in literally eighty billion years, but still grudgingly put up with it. Baby steps, Hob thinks, taking a swig of his own bubbly and looking back at the television. Baby steps.

It's already the New Year in Oz and the rest of Down Under, and five hours off yet in New York, where they're still greasing up the ball drop in Times Square, but it's just about time in London, the fireworks over the Thames are all set to go, and Hob and the ten other people in his flat (hardly an excessive number, not that you'd know it from Morpheus's face) lean forward in eagerness. The bloke on the BBC leads a countdown, it rolls over to 00:00:01 GMT, 1 January 2024, and everyone lets out a boozy cheer, raising glasses to salute each other and making more please-God-help-us jokes about the Tories. Hob, meanwhile, turns to Morpheus, who gazes expectantly back at him with those luminous, star-flecked eyes, and leans in to kiss him -- quickly, chastely, nothing to make the silly goose come over in his melodramatic conniptions all over again. "Happy new year, darling."

Dream huffs, but he does look slightly pleased. (It's a subtle art, reading his expressions, and to the untutored looks no different from "mildly constipated," but Hob still knows his Stranger well.) "Happy new year, Hob Gadling," he allows, after a long moment. "I still do not understand why you feel it necessary to celebrate all this. Have you not seen so many that it is no longer special?"

"See, that's exactly why." Hob should get up and refill the pigs-in-blankets tray, as there is evidently nothing that British academics love more and it has been descended on like starving vultures, but he doesn't feel like it, not yet. He grins at Morpheus instead, lowering his voice, not that there's much risk of anyone overhearing. "A bloke born all the way back in God's Year 1356, and I'm still here, ringing in the fucking year 2024? That's a bloody miracle, you ask me. And with you, no less? What else would I want in the whole world?"

Dream's expression melts a little, despite himself. A faint pink flush climbs into his elegant ice-sculpted cheeks, and he huffs. "You are quite the flatterer, Robert Gadling."

"Eh." Hob takes a more comfortable position, settles deeper into the couch cushions, and feels, with great vindication, Dream's head tip and lean and rest on his shoulder, snuggling closer entirely of his own volition. "You love it."

[darkpoisonouslove]

HotD S02E07

Honestly, I do not have much to say about this episode (I think... it's still possible for my thoughts to spiral out of control as I start writing them out). There was barely any Greens content, which made me a little bored, I have to say. The thing is that they are kind of dragging their feet here. I get the feeling they're trying to get as many seasons as possible out of a single book but, like, maybe you could have explored the events of season 1 in two seasons then? We literally sprinted through more than 20 years in one season and now things are moving quite slowly. Anyway, more details under the cut:

Does Addam realize he could have just taken Seasmoke and fucked off to do whatever he wants? What was Rhaenyra going to do? Fight him and risk her life or at least losing Syrax to someone that isn't even her enemy in the war? Sure, he doesn't know Valyrian but Seasmoke didn't really seam to give much of a shit about that anyway. What I'm saying is basically that Rhaenyra is so lucky that Addam's ambitions of earning recognition only go so far because Seasmoke definitely would have fought Syrax tooth and nail to protect Addam if he had decided not to bend the knee.

Meanwhile Corlys during this whole episode:

His interaction with Addam was so awkward! Well, gee, thanks, dad, for the praise! Are we going to see him actually do anything as Hand?

Jasper trying to talk Larys into breaking the news of Rhaenyra's new dragon rider to Aemond was so funny. You can clearly hear him thinking "Well, he already hates Larys. Why should I draw his ire? Honestly, Larys should just take one for the team and tell him the news, which will 100% set him off!" Larys refusing to be the scapegoat by going "Tis' but a fable." The Larys content is popping off these last few episodes! I have to say that it's funny how ineffective Aemond has made his own Council by being so harsh and completely unwilling to listen to any of them. If he hadn't made it so clear he doesn't give a shit about their opinions and would trample them down for daring to say anything, they might have warned him earlier and they could have prevented Rhaenyra from getting more dragons. Not like she didn't have to outsource bastards from King's Landing. Had Aemond known about any of this, he could have intervened in some way but he brought this on himself.

I see we're not going to address the Rhaenyra and Mysaria kiss from last episode.

Oscar Tully, the man that you are! I don't really have much to say about the whole Harrenhal segment besides how fun it was watching this young boy completely destroy Daemon in front of everyone. He even forced him into a situation where Daemon has to do what Oscar wanted of him and after this obvious demonstration that Daemon will turn on his allies with the wind, he's pretty much further cemented the impression he made on the Riverlands lords that they should never consider him their leader. I like how they made it understandable why Oscar is so set on keeping old oaths since that's the way the Riverlands function. The choice to only make Daemon "succeed" through factors that he has entirely no control of is priceless, it has to be said. At this point they can just write "loser" on his forehead.

That red cloak for Rhaenyra's maid is such a baffling design choice. She's supposed to be incognito but she stands out like a sore thumb. Besides, only someone rich can afford to have clothes dyed in such a rich red color. It instantly makes it obvious she is working for someone of noble birth and makes her so very easy to keep track of even in a crowd. Why have they done this?

Someone pointed out that putting up fliers when the general population is illiterate is a really funny way to advertise and I have to agree.

Respectfully, I do not give a shit about Hugh and his dead child. Maybe I would have if they had actually shown the death and didn't make him act like that's in the past already. Also, maybe once let a woman want something? I mean, they just lost their daughter. Let his wife want to have the power and means to prevent that from happening to other people and to any future children they might have ffs. This show only pretends to be feminist but will not let women want anything for 3 seconds.

I wrote a whole essay on Larys and Aegon and I've decided to make it the focus of its own post that you can find here.

Rhaena's scene is a perfect demonstration of what I mean when I say that they're dragging their feet. They just hinted that there will be exciting developments in the next episode and didn't do anything to actually move that plot line along. They could have easily cut that scene and put a condensed version of it in the next episode right before Rhaena actually gets to claim Sheepstealer.

The focus for this episode is obviously Rhaenyra's plan with the Dragonseeds and that has had some very interesting developments.

First of all, love how they show us that Rhaenyra is exactly her father's daughter. She hasn't thought this through anymore than Viserys did. He wanted her to be his heir but still married and raped Alicent because he just wanted to have sex and then proceeded to ignore his children from her and the problem that having legitimate sons is creating for the entire realm. Rhaenyra just wanted to have sex with Harwin and had three illegitimate sons and now to win the war for her own inheritance she has to take away the only symbol of legitimacy that Jace has. By very clearly showing that just random bastards that know nothing of the tradition surrounding dragons and can't even speak the language of the dragons can just as successfully ride them, she totally destroys the idea that Jace is somehow more than any Targaryen bastard that you can find at Fleabottom. Great job, Rhaenyra!

To be fair, all her options are equally bad but she's the one that did this. If she hadn't had illegitimate children, she literally wouldn't have been facing this problem. She just thought that her being princess and heir to the throne will give her a pass for anything but she has set Jace up for another war now. When she dies and he ascends the throne, there will be people who will think him not worthy of it because he's not any different from all the other bastards that were raised as the lowest links of society. There will also be the other bastards with dragons that can try to steal his throne. People were saying that Alicent is at fault for everything bad that happens to her children because she put Aegon on the throne but Rhaenyra is doing the exact same thing to Jace now and it is for a crown. She knew from the start her claim was shaky and that Jace's claim as her heir is even more shaky. She still proceeded because she wanted that crown.

The dragon tamers revolting against Rhaenyra's actions was such a great representation of how interlaced the dragons are with the classism and the "divine right to rule" of the Targaryens. To win this war Rhaenyra literally has to tear down the very pillars on which the supremacy of her house is built. She's self-destructing in slow motion because yes, she might win and get to sit the throne but the people will get disillusioned about the dragons being gods and about the Targaryens having the sole claim to the throne if any bastard can walk in directly from the street and claim a dragon. That voiceover in the beginning of season 1 saying the only thing that can destroy the House of the Dragon is itself sure is getting proven correct.

They finally let Rhaenyra do something that would tear down her image of the hero partially. Isn't it funny how she was so horrified by what happened to Ser Stefan but had no problem leaving 30-40 bastards to die? Sure, she had proof that her wild idea can be done once Addam and Seasmoke bonded but she knew very well that a lot of those people would die and she just didn't really care. Good thing they don't know about Ser Stefan's attempt and her reaction to that. Otherwise, they could easily turn their new dragons on her since she clearly still thinks them lesser.

I liked the way they did the bonding moment between Hugh and Vermithor. Hugh really showed he meant business and earned Vermithor's respect. But on the tail end of that, Ulf's scene was a fucking joke. Silverwing should have eaten him whole. Especially since he stepped in her clutch of eggs. Him getting a taste of what riding a dragon is like was still kind of cute. Also quite a revolutionary step for Westerosi society, though I have a feeling Rhaenyra won't like what that step leads to in the end.

Stop teasing me with mentions of Daeron, show! I am almost 100% convinced that they won't get him in here until season 3 so what's the point? Especially since we already heard the exact same information in the previous episode.

The writing for Alicent is so unserious fr. The way they are letting her wallow in this self-pity because there's nothing else for her to do is atrocious. Especially since the last trigger apparently was the riot in last episode, which is just an insult. What do you mean that all of her sacrifice and service to the realm was just so she would be hated? She's supposed to be beloved by the small folk. I hate the writers so much for the way they're constantly throwing stuff in to make you hate the Greens, and switching plot beats around, giving all the ones that earn sympathy to the Blacks. I've been ranting about that all season, however, so I'll leave it at that.

People that still think Alicent was trying to drown herself are so baffling to me. I could have told you she wasn't going to do it just from the trailer for this episode. It was clearly shown that she took off her dress before entering the lake. (Btw did the music while she was removing her green dress remind anyone else of "The Green Dress" theme from Rhaenyra's wedding? But a lot more solemn and just straight-up resigned? Which would fit perfectly with her stupid arc.) You don't take off your clothes if you mean to drown as it'd be easier to drown with more clothes on. And also, are we talking about the same woman? Alicent? Committing suicide????? After she saved Criston from doing the same???? I know she's on a downward spiral but she was just chilling in that water. That didn't look like someone trying to drown themselves. I guess that "I'm not sure I mean to [return to the city]" line could have sounded suicidal but I have only one thing to say to that: Alicent, get your ass back to the Red Keep right this instant istfg. Aemond just torched Aegon and she and Helaena were attacked and she just... leaves?????? Girl, what about your children? They need you! At least the trailer for the next episode shows that she's back.

People saying that Aemond should leave Helaena alone and not ask her to join the fight, you don't even deserve the RIP. I am different from you aka better. Please, for the love of fuck, get her on Dreamfyre and let her do something at last! They have completely glossed over and erased the effect that her son's death has on her but that at least means that she is totally capable of getting on her dragon and frying a bunch of people. I am seriously hoping that she will!

P.S. I might have known I was going to write a whole essay despite "having nothing to say". *sigh*

[aceofwhump]

Hi Ace! Did you like the new season? I didn't like the new season of TUA but it had whump!

Ooooh boy. Okay. Well I have THOUGHTS. And I'm going to put them under a read more because of massive spoilers.

Overall I'm really annoyed by the final season. Really annoyed. But let's talk about the things I enjoyed first

1. Klaus whump!!!

Okay how could I not put this one first. I love Klaus. I love whump. Klaus was really out through the wringer and I loved it. He got shot, was bleeding out and dying, picked up by Diego and carried to the van, worried about and saved by his family, several emotional outbursts which I loved, relapses, gets kidnapped, held captive, buried alive, gets rescued, finally gets a good damn hug! I loved it. I ate that shit up.

2. Klaus, Allison, and Claire

This sibling dynamic was always my favorite from the moment Allison caught Klaus stealing shit from their dad's office in episode 1. I wanted more of these two for ages and I got them living together and taking care of each other and Klaus being the weird protective uncle to Claire. I want 10 more seasons of them being domestic. And Uncle Klaus and Claire was so cute!!! Highlight of the season! I was so happy when the two of them not only noticed Klaus was gone and in trouble but that Claire tried to help him AND the two of them tracked him down to save him and bring him home!

3. The family actually showing that the care about Klaus.

Is it obvious that Klaus is my favorite yet? It wasn't a lot but when they freaked out when he got shot and the happy reaction and head patting when he came back to life was beautiful and I needed it. I also LOVED the hug between Klaus, Claire and Allison when they dug him out of the grave. I needed that so badly. There should be more Klaus hugs

4. Dad!Diego

Diego was so lovely as a father!!! His three kids were always on his mind and I love that. I love how he used his powers at the axe throwing just to get 3 stuffed reindeers for his kids. Freaking adorable.

5. Luther

The king of background reactions. He had me rolling on the floor in laughter this season. I loved his energy. Pure sunshine. And him at the antique was so funny cause that's how I am at antique shops and now I want to go antique shopping with him lol. He was adorable and I feel so bad that he got him monkey body back cause he was so happy to have his body back.

6. Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally as the bad guys.

Jene and Gene were so fun. Loved that.

Now let's talk about the rest.

1. Luther

But wait Ace you put Luther in the likes category! Yes. Yes I did. And I stand by that. But WHERE WAS SLOANE! Why was he so fine with Sloane just being gone! Why was Sloane gone at all!!!

2. Five and Lila

Seriously I fucking hated this story line and I hated that the writers thought Five needed a love story. WHY. He really really didn't need one at all. He loved Delores why did they feel the need to give him another love story? Could they not think of any other plot for him? I sure could have! This was boring and trite. And even if they did go with the love story plot still WHY PUT HIM WITH LILA!!!!! After two seasons firmly establishing the love that Lila and Diego have for one another and how perfect they are together. You're gonna do THAT? I hated it. I mean "you hate bracelets." NO SHE DOESN'T! SHE KEPT THE ONE YOU MADE IN THE ASYLUM FOR TWO SEASONS! IT WAS KINDA A BIG DEAL! Why would they then give this plot point to Five!

3. Klaus getting more powers like finally being able to levitate and the show acting like it is literally nothing

I have nothing to elaborate on this. I just hated that we finally got levitating Klaus and not only was it not utilized at all but they treated it like a throwaway thing.

4. No Ray. No Sparrows

Seriously!? Ray left? Bullshit. Sloane and the other Sparrows never come back? Dumb.

5. NO DANCE NUMBER

Every season had a silly dance number and we got NONE. It's a little thing but I was disappointed.

And I still have SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!! AND WE GOT NO ANSWERS!!!

Why did Luther get his monkey body back if it was never a part of marigold in the first place? That was done via a Reginald serum.

Why did Diego have no coordination without his powers when he should have at least retained some muscle memories from the many years of training?

Why did Klaus say his years of sobriety was down the toilet as soon as marigold was put in him again? He could have stayed sober. He had control of his powers from s3 so it's not like he was gonna be haunted like before which is why he took drugs in the first place.

What about the other kids who had marigold? Are they in this timeline? Did they also die? Why didn't Reginald ever look for all of the kids? What happened with them?

Why is the marigold they take this season janky? Like why do they get sick? Did Reginald’s wife spike it or something? Or was it simply that they consumed it as fully grown adults instead of being born with it?

WHY WAS JENNIFER IN A FUCKING SQUID AS A CHILD?!

Who was the Ben we saw in the subway at the end of season 3? Cause it wasn't our Ben or Sparrow Ben!

Does Klaus know how Ben died? DOES HE!?!

How did the kids survive without Alison, Diego, or Lila having existed!? I don’t think that’s how genetics work!

What the fuck was the Cleanse!?!?! No seriously! What the fuck was that?! Why is durango in Jennifer? Are there more super kids with durango in them? Why does durango in Jennifer only interact with marigold in Ben? Why no the others? Why does the combination of Ben and Jennifer make the Cleanse??? If they had continued to interact before Reg killed Ben would the Cleanse have happened then? Did Abigail create the Cleanse? Did durango kill their world? How? What does it actually DO! I'm so confused!

If all the marigold has to be destroyed waht about all the other marigold made babies? What about all those alternate Fives in the subway? Why just these 7 people?

Where the fuck did Reginald and Abigail come from?! Why did we learn absolutely fucking NOTHING about them other than the tiny tidbits we've seen already?

Why the hell would Five just peace out in the middle of a fucking battle for his families lives? THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT FIVE WOULD DO! Everything Five has ever done was to save his family!

Why was them being born via marigold shatter the timeline? What the fuck do those two things have to do with the other???? That makes no SENSE! It would have made more sense to say that Five disappearing into the future shattered the timeline and send them back to before then or something.

Viktor can get rid of the marigold in people so WHY DIDN'T THEY TRY THAT! WHY DID THE BENJEN CLEANSE CREATURE NEED TO TAKE THEM ALL AND ERASE THEIR EXISTENCE! Couldn't Viktor have extracted the marigold and they get rid of it that way?

(some of that may have had answers in the show and i'm just dumb and missed it but still. i have many questions)

This season was so disjointed and dissatisfying. I was actually bored by episode 4. The plots were all over the place and none connected very well. I'm still so confused about what the fuck was happening all season. None of it makes any sense.

I was hoping this season would be more of a Umbrella Academy vs big bad Reginald and Abigail villain type of plot. I was hoping OG Ben would like start merging with Sparrow Ben or something. I thought the ending would be them returning to their original timeline finally all together and be able to just live the rest of their lives apocalypse free. Happy and together. BUT NO!

Ugh. I'm sure there's more to say but I'm out of steam now. Mostly i'm just disappointed.

[decolonize-the-everything]

i was thinking about your whiteness post, and i wanna add how the idea of whiteness has lead to an almost bastardized and commercialized version of christianity

i don't celebrate christmas as a muslim because it's not my religious holiday to celebrate, but the amount of times people have said "you should still celebrate it! christmas is not religious holiday anymore!" is wild. like, that's your saviour? wdym christmas isn't a religious holiday???

it's not like this with other christian dominions, so i find it insane that the countries that scream about jesus all the time also treats his 'birthday' (there's so much debate on his date of birth) is just another holiday. the same thing for easter and i don't hear a word about lent either.

this probably isn't a new thought, but given that it's been another season of peoples pity because i don't celebrate christmas, its been on my mind.

anywho, i hope you're having a wonderful day!! <333

I 100% agree

I think much like a government, Christianity in the West has been co-opted by white supremacists.

I have a whole theory and special interest about it so let me soap box for a second.

Doing research even on the Bible the last few months and the KJV print is where that becomes obvious to me. Some of the wording changed to make obedience and subservience to the king a virtue. It linked holiness to serving someone other than God or yourself.

And that's not to say it didn't have issues before that or that the KJV is the sole cause (it is one of the most popular versions tho). But rather an observable point in history where we can see the Bible being wielded as a tool to make the masses more easily controlled.

It stopped being about God and spirituality a long time ago.

Further, the guy who translated it for King James is now considered the patriarch of puritanism. And that was caused when the King repudiated papal authority and transformed the Church of Rome into a state Church of England.

Yeah. They literally colonized the church.

See also:

The main difference between the Catholic Church and the Church of England is that Anglicans do not recognize the pope as the head of the Christian faith. Instead, the head of the Church of England is the British monarch.

The puritans who showed up on Turtle Island? Those were the same extremist puritans who didn't want to share church with Catholics that the king didn't want to deal with either. They thought the church being inclusive to Catholics was a religious affront and they wanted more reforms about it.

But then

Under Charles I, Calvinist teachings were undermined and bishops became less tolerant of Puritan views and more willing to enforce the use of controversial ceremonies. New controls were placed on Puritan preaching, and some ministers were suspended or removed from their livings. Increasingly, many Puritans concluded that they had no choice but to emigrate

Every time I hear "Starbucks cups are a christians tradition" I'm reminded of puritans screeching about how being inclusive of Catholics was a personal attack on their rights.

And when I see some megachurch doing this

Or when I hear about how Christianity feels more like a cult people want you to join and less like a peace driven religion about Jesus

Or when people have experiences like yours.

...it feels so obvious that focus of Western Christianity is actually about normalizing political ideas and they lure you into that by going "look how fun our parades are" and "aren't chocolate eggs fun?"

Jesus is a Trojan horse.

It's how you end up with so many "religious" people who'd willingly die for their country but shoot their neighbor. Conversely, it's how you end up with so many non-religious people saying it's not religious at all and bring people together actually.

Because its just parades.

Right?

[lizajane2]

Naruto: The Will of Fire - I have seen this movie so many times. And I never get tired of it.

How did Sai survive that fall? You know what, it's anime I'm not even gonna question it. I say that even though I have the same thought every time I see it.

Kakashi: "We need to continue the mission." Darlin, i love you, but you constantly preach about never leaving someone behind. MAYBE YOU SHOULD PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH, IDIOT!!

Poor Sai. Naruto drags him into everything. lol.

Hiruko is annoying from the get-go. Like "a perfect, immortal ninja" boy, you need to go back to whatever dark, depressing hole you crawled out of.

Not Naruto falling asleep after Hiruko threatening to throw the world into war. He's completely unbothered. Lmao.

I really hate that the animators didn't include bookshelves in Kakashi's apartment. That man reads more than just porn.

Tsunade: "Kakashi are you saying you want me to go down in history as the Hokage who sacrificed her subordinate in order to protect the village?"

Kakashi: "Yes, I do."

My reaction to this every time:

Again, further proving my point that he sees no value in his life whatsoever. If I could, I'd jump through that screen and slap him. And here's another problem I have with that, Kakashi really thought that Naruto would just sit back and let him sacrifice himself. What? ARE YOU STUPID?! DID YOU JUST FORGET WHAT YOU TAUGHT THEM?!

Naruto: "This time, no doubt, I'll protect him." Kakashi needs more of that in his life rather than going on a suicide mission. Which he's done repeatedly, by the way.

Tsunade: "What are those idiots doing?" Uh, to save someone from themselves and keep them from being an absolute martyr.

And Shikamaru kinda pisses me off a little bit in this movie. "I want to save Kakashi-sensei too, but I can't sacrifice everyone in the village for that." I'm sorry that's not... why are you talking like giving up Kakashi's life to the enemy is the only option here? I see the logic in Kakashi's plan, but this is NARUTO we're talking about. Have faith in him if anything else.

LMFAO! Sai really only acted because of what a book told him to do. I love him so much!!

Shino was perfection. "Do you think that's all I have?" Where's his crown at? He's an absolute king.

I'm even more surprised that Gaara tried to stop Naruto. He should know better than anyone that Naruto has always cared about others and would never sacrifice the life of anyone in the village to save it. The only one who had faith in Naruto was Jiraiya.

"That would go against Kakashi's wishes." No, Kakashi is an idiot who feels guilt-ridden and is trying to make up for his mistakes. Nothing more.

Gaara: "I won't be swayed by your ideals" *a minute later*

Shikamaru: "I'll stop Naruto. Even if I have to kill him." See, now that's where he loses me entirely. That's where his beliefs become moot. He's being incredibly ridiculous and narrow-minded at this point.

Hiruko's outfit in this movie reminds me of a straitjacket. He should be in one, given how insane he is.

Kakashi: "What the hell are you doing here, Naruto?" Oh, you know, out for a walk... HE'S THERE TO SAVE YOUR ASS FROM YOUR OWN STUPIDITY!! WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S THERE?!

See, no, it just looks wrong when someone else uses Chidori. It's gross even (this excludes Sasuke).

Kakashi: "I'm the loser here." Ya, think? Such a stupid, lovable man.

"I knew it. You're just like him." TALKING ABOUT OBITO! Literally crying, screaming, and throwing up.

I love this movie. Never get tired of it.

[armandisdaddy]

Siren-Modern! Aemond Targaryen x Fem Reader

Pairing:Aemond Targaryen(Bass Player) x Fem Reader(Lead Singer)

Content/Warning:Obession,DubCon,Sexual Tension,Knee Humping and Masturbation.

Word Count: 1.8k

Author’s Notes:This will be written in third person.

This was the band’s last night of practice before their first concert to kick off their first international tour. “Fire and Blood(FNB)” was their name and they were renowned far and wide for their lead singer, Y/N’s ethereal vocals, unearthly growls and the bands unique sound brought a new light to the metal scene. If that wasn’t enough that had two of King’s Landings favorite rich boys playing the bass and drums.

Practice was just like every other night, but Y/N was stressed wanting everything to be just right. “Come on you guys we literally perform tomorrow night, we cannot go on stage sounding like bay of shyte.” She groaned in annoyance looking back at her colleagues. Aegon rolled his eyes holding his drum sticks in hand. “Y/N it is three in the fucking morning we should be resting before this concert especially you.” His brother Aemond hummed in agreement not being a man of too many words with his bass guitar Vhagar hanging over his shoulders.

She sighed knowing they were right, but she was the only one who had nothing to fall back on if this tour failed. Looking to the electric guitarist and the background singers Y/N huffed and shooed them away. “Alright..everyone get your rest…no partying we need to be ready.” She emphasized the word rest looking to Aegon with a stern face. He smiled quickly packing his things and putting away his drum set behind the curtains of the stage.

She stared out at the coliseum and Aemond watched her slowly packing his guitar away, watching every one else leave her behind and say their goodbyes until tomorrow. He wondered what was on her mind she seemed worried. “Y/N?” His deep voice called to her and she was taken from her train of thought, looking back at him from the corner of her eye.”Yes, Aemond?” She replied..he shuttered hearing her call his name, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He stood to his feet running his large hand through his shoulder length hair and approached her. “What’s on your mind?”

She turned to face him looking into his one eye. “You know if this tour flops…you and your brother can just go back home and have no worries…and me well my life depends on this. I’ve been working my ass off for a moment like this and I cannot let it slip through my fingers now that we are so close. I know you may think I’m a bitch, but you have no idea what I’ve been through just to see my dreams become a reality.”

Aemond made it a point to know everything about her, but she was very closed off and she only let her bandmates know so much about her. He could see the darkness within her deep brown eyes and felt his heartbreak from the sadness he saw lay just below the surface. They hardly spoke unless it was about their music, conversation was more Aegon’s thing. “We are going to be great, with you as our singer we can do no wrong, I promise. Your voice alone will make the crowd fall to their knees.” He praised, and she smiled his efforts trying to make her feel better were working. Slowly breaking the distance between them she looked into his violet eye and slowly scanning over the patch that covered his missing eye, she looked over the scar slowly before taking in his face.

“You know Aemond, you’re really sweet..when you do talk that is..maybe you should talk more.” Her right rested on the side of his face where an eye should be and her thumb slowly grazed over the shallow scar before leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Let’s go it’s getting late.” Her soft lips on his skin sent a shiver down his spine and lit a fire within his stomach. His leather pants tightened around his hardened length and he slightly groaned from the pressure as she left him behind.

“Why does she do this to me?” He thought as he walked out to his car making his way back to their hotel. Back at his room he hopped into the shower. His mind filled with thoughts of nothing but her as the hot water streamed down his body. His cock twitched at the many obscene thoughts he had of her and he couldn’t resist the urge of releasing all of this tension that built up from just being around her. His large calloused hand wrapped around his thick length and went to work. He huffed and groaned tugging just right until he spilled on the shower floor, calling her name as if to summon her. He could hear her voice calling him like a siren, she was a light that guided him through darkness and he had to have her, no he needed to have her desperately.

It was the night of Fire and Blood’s first concert. People were piling in and Y/N could hear them calling their name through the stage door. The lights were low and the music started Y/N screamed out into the crowd as she walked on stage. She wore a black top with a cut that showed her cleavage, the peak stopping right above her belly button, ripped jeans and black platform boots.“How are you feeling tonight, King’s Landing!?” The crowd cheered and she smiled turning to her band nodding to signal the start of their first song. Aemond felt something take over when those vocals left her mouth. It was if the music had taken her away and he wanted to go. His silver tresses were damp with sweat as he played soon losing himself and her in the music. After a few more energetic performances, it was time to slow things down a bit.

This had to be his favorite song, she wrote it alone and it was rather touching. She sang of love and it’s passion and how she longed for it. If only she knew how he longed to give her that passionate love she so desperately desired. He was awakened from his trance feeling her little fingers trailing along his shoulder. She walked around him her eyes burning a hole into him as she sang. She smirked slightly rest her back against his side as he played, writhing against him, his heart pounded against his chest. His mind became fuzzy and his cock throbbing wanting to feel her warmth. She was putting on a show he kept telling himself and indeed she was the crowd was going crazy for it. But, she just went too far, wrapping her hand around his throat pulling him into a kiss.

The kiss shared between them was seen on the large screen and the crowd went insane. The rest of the band was stunned, but they kept playing wondering what the hell was going on? She pulled back giving a knowing grin before she turned away to call out to the crowd. After hours of playing and Y/N singing and dancing around the platinum haired beauty was meant for this. The way she pulled everyone in with not only her voice, but her personality was something to see. Aemond could not keep his eyes off of her.

Their first night on tour was over and Y/N ran off stage. With Aemond and the rest of the band following after her Aegon was the first to speak. “We crushed that shit! But Y/N…what the fuck was that kiss!?” He looked to Aemond then to her. “Is there something we all need to know here?” Aemond knew nothing between them had occurred before this but he sat in silence waiting to see what she had to say. “It was spontaneous, I thought it would get the crowd going, ya know and maybe start a publicity uproar.” He was disappointed by her answer, but he hid it behind his stoic face only deciding to walk away to grab a smoke. She noticed him leave and wanted to follow, but was caught up with her crew and managers praises.

She was still on cloud nine when she got to her hotel room, the band celebrated at and after party and she was a little tipsy. She showered and put on a large t-shirt getting ready to relax, but a knock on the door caught her attention. She answered seeing Aemond standing there he was a little drunk himself, but he was obviously angry. “Hey, Ae-.” Pushing his way inside he closed the door behind him and stood before her towering over her. She was a bit frightened, his violet eye almost completely blacked out.

“Did that kiss really mean nothing?” His voice rough as he walked toward making her step back until she was pressed against the wall. “Aemond…I was just performing…it was the adrenaline maybe…it won’t happen again I’m swear.” He was unhinged chuckling softly. “A performance…right…do you think my feelings for you is something you can toy with, Y/N?” Wide eyed she tried pushing past him, but he pressed his chest against her taking her arms and placing them above her head. “Oh no..little siren I want you to “perform” for me.

She has never seen him like this and she was nervous feeling his knee raise up between her thighs pressing on her sensitive pussy. She moaned softly gasping before she came back to her senses trying to pull away. He smiled at her reaction and rubbed his knee against her feeling her slick soak through his jeans. “Your getting so wet from my knee, little siren. How naughty you are..Y/N…” He whispered into her ear nipping at the flesh of her ear lobe growling. Hoping to push her over the edge. Her chest heaved as she felt a shock of pleasure running through her over and over. She struggled with him trying to keep the pleasure from making her come undone. “Aemond..please..stop.”

He smiled licked from her neck to her collarbone. “Do you really want me to or are you worried about letting me see you make a mess on my knee?” Why did he have to say those things? He only made her wetter and he loved watching her shiver and twitch from him pleasing her. She bucked her hips forward meeting his knee, sending wave after wave of pure ecstasy shooting through her. She could feeling something building inside her stomach..maybe butterflies…but the moment she felt it, it was as if a dam had exploded and she was now squirting her sweet nectar all over him. She caught her breath riding out her high against his thigh until he pulled away causing her to try and chase after him. He smiled pulling her in for a kiss knowing she wanted more, but he’d leave her with that to think about tonight…

“Those sounds you make are even more heavenly than your singing..little siren. I want to hear more..but I think that’s enough for tonight.” She lunged forward, but he slinked away making a quick exit. Leaving her to think about what just happened alone.

To be continued…?

[achaotichuman]

Acotar Rant

I feel like the Acotar series would be so much better if Rhys and Tam was just a little over a hundred.

Assuming the age gaps and century year old fae in SJM books are there so we can have complex characters and not just to fulfill her weird sexual fantasies I think it would be better if instead of these people being like five-six centuries old, where they should have fully developed characters and should be better equipped to handle the situations, they're in. Because trust me, none of them are.

They were like just a little over a hundred. Tamlin and Rhysand might have been twenty-thirty years old when they're families were killed, and they were put on thrones. And keeping to the fact that they are immortal, all of a sudden, to have the equivalent of baby Fae ruling Courts, the actions or lack of actions taken in their Courts makes a ton of sense.

Tamlin, who has said many, many times he would always fight for freedom and defend people who couldn't defend himself, following in his tyrant father's footsteps makes sense because he was so young and probably had no one and nothing to his name. Rhysand not doing anything for the Hewn City or Illyria also makes sense because he was just a couple of decades old and same thing as Tamlin, had nothing and no one to his name.

Then only like twenty-thirty years pass, which even for humans is not nearly enough time for massive changes like completely eliminating wing clipping, an ingrained tradition in society, to take place, Amarantha comes. Her being able to trick a literal daemati also makes sense because Rhysand wouldn't really have the experience needed to sniff out when someone is up to something fishy.

Then fifty years pass, fifty years Under the Mountain which is even longer than either Rhys or Tamlin had been ruling. Then their desperation makes more sense. Tamlin clinging onto Feyre like she's some fallen saint that he desperately needs to protect makes even more sense. At that point neither of them would really know much more than Under the Mountain or the curse.

It's still a gross age gape, but it adds more nuance to the story, it's also why I think it's stupid when Feyre says Tarquin wouldn't understand her darkness, like no sweetie, you wouldn't understand his darkness.

I just think we need younger Fae. Fae that are inexperienced and don't know better than the bad cards they've been dealt. Rhysand who is still new to this whole ruling thing and know only knows Amarantha's way of ruling. Same thing with Tamlin. Both of them still locked in the memories of the night they became High lords, unable to let go.

It's also a good way to comment on how Fae mentally age, because, immortal or not, time changes people. Fae mentally age slowly, because their bodies don't at all, so for only like seventy or eighty years to have passed since they witnessed the death of their families, for Tamlin to have been like fifty-sixty when he was forced to send his sentries, his friends, to their deaths in vain. For Rhysand to have been a child king trying to eliminate wing-clipping and darkness in the Hewn City while men centuries older than him scoffed and laughed.

It just adds a whole new level of complexity. I hate the idea that these characters need to be like 500+ to have any level of personality in these series'.