#THE PERSON WHO I WANTED BY MY SIDE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
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gumii-bearr · 2 days ago
Note
idea maybes
academic rival/nerd satoru
 him acting all high and mighty and then is an utter virgin (but you are tew so you too together are hopeless)
YESSSSSSSS HAHAHAHA
thinking about... ❝ hopeless nerds ❞
featuring... satoru gojo
content warning: MDNI (18+), afab!reader, nerd!virgin!gojo, nerd!virgin!reader, academic rivals, two dorks, gojo is such an asshole, smut, creampie, praise kink, masturbation, inexperienced dorks tryna bang, dare i say crybaby dom gojo, sexual tension, somnophilia, sexually frustrated nerds
author's note: im sorry i haven't posted in a while!!!! my town has flooded and we've lost power a few times and i can't leave my house :,)
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── nerd!gojo immediately pissing you off the moment he opens his fucking mouth.
── nerd!gojo who shares a few classes with you and he's always talking over you, has to prove your points wrong even when you back them up with facts and research.
── he does it to make you mad, you know he does. he does it because it's so easy to make you mad and it's fucking cute how your nose scrunches and how you fold your arms over your chest and give him the cold shoulder the rest of the lesson.
── "fuck you, satoru."
── "oh you wish, sweetheart."
── nerd!gojo who purposely sits next to you in class because he knows his presence drives you up the wall.
── he points out holes in your research, steals your pens off your desk, leans on your shoulder and stays there no matter how much to elbow his side, there is no peace with him.
── nerd!gojo who is tied for best grade in the class with none other than you. and fuck it makes him mad, though he would never admit it.
── nerd!gojo who teases you when you're even a single point behind him when you get your grades back.
── nerd!gojo who never hears the end of it when you do better than him on a test or essay.
── nerd!gojo who may find you annoying, but he also finds your competitiveness and smart-ass demeanour fucking hot.
── you're the only person to ever one-up him. give him a run for his place as the smartest guy in class.
── you're single-handedly his motivation to do better in class. not because he wants to, but because he needs to win.
── you're so smug when you win and you're so hot-headed when you don't. he starts to find it fucking confusing when you bicker with him or insult his intelligence and he finds it... hot.
── you could be calling him every colourful name under the sun and he would just stand there and take it with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face and his eyes peeking over his sunglasses and staring at your pretty lips.
── nerd!gojo who is also virgin!gojo, which you would never have guessed with how he holds himself– always so outwardly confident and always has soooo much to say.
── virgin!gojo who has maybe kissed two girls his whole life, forced to hole himself up in his dorm and fist his cock when he's so beyond frustrated.
── virgin!gojo who finds himself starting to think about... you.
── virgin!gojo who thinks about burying his virgin cock inside you, fucking you stupid on his cock since you always seem to have something to say.
── you find it fucking weird when he doesn't shoot back with a sarcastic comment one morning, his eyes unable to meet yours.
── now you know something's wrong because it always makes gojo's day when he sees your face flush and watches you stomp around all angry and annoyed at him.
── virgin!gojo who doesn't know what to do when he's cornered by you in the library, and for the first time, he sees you be genuine toward him.
── "aw, you care about me."
── "you know what? forget it."
── virgin!gojo who knows he needs to just shut his big mouth for once and he finally does– by slamming you against the closest bookshelf and messily kissing you like his life depends on it.
── virgin!gojo who realises he's super out of practice when it comes to kissing... or maybe you're both bad.
── virgin!gojo who panics when he gets you back to his dorm room, clumsy fingers pulling your clothes off while you nervously pull at his.
── it's slow and it's messy and there's very obviously an elephant in the room that neither of you want to address.
── but you finally bite the bullet.
── "i'm a virgin."
── "you telling me no one's ever wanted to fuck that bitchy attitude out of you?"
── "don't piss me off."
── virgin!gojo who admits he too is a virgin.
── the two of you acknowledge that there's been a sexual tension brewing between you two for a while... so maybe you should just fuck it out.
── virgin!gojo who sinks to his knees, throwing your thighs over his shoulders and pressing his curious tongue against your soaked slit.
── no one's ever touched you like that– you're getting riled up just seeing him between your thighs.
── virgin!gojo who is finally fucking quiet and lets you show him when you guide him on how to finger you. you show him where to touch you, how to touch you, where to lick and suck on you.
── and virgin!gojo who listens and he's a fast learner because he wants to please you.
── and when virgin!gojo finally sinks his huge fucking cock inside you. you nearly fucking scream.
── and virgin!gojo who has no idea he's big. no one's ever seen his cock, or felt it. he's had nothing to compare it to–
── "you're so fucking big."
── "oh, yeah? you like it, baby?"
── virgin!gojo who didn't think he'd like dirty talk as much as he does. but he likes how you whine and moan just from his voice, how he can rile you up and have you soaking his dick and the sheets just from telling you what a good girl you are.
── but also virgin!gojo who is a fucking whiner when he's getting close to his high. your virgin cunt is so warm and tight, he's never experienced such fucking bliss.
── he's whining about how good you feel, how he's never felt something so fucking mind-blowing. he just keeps fucking talking cus if he doesn't he's gonna cum.
── and virgin!gojo who fucking cries when he cums because he's on cloud fucking nine. his hips slap erratically, his thrusts are shallow and fast as he approaches his high and his fists curl into the sheets by your head to keep him grounded.
── and you just wrap your arms around his neck, hold him close as he breathes in your intoxicating scent, arms wrapped around you as he keeps his cock buried inside you alongside the ropes of cum he messily spilled inside you.
── and nerd!gojo who keeps his cock buried inside you all night, unable to part from your tight warmth.
── and you don't mind, you just pet his hair and tell him how good he did.
── and of course, nerd!gojo who wakes you up with quiet breathes by your ear, his hips slapping against your plush ass because he can't get enough of you.
── nerd!gojo who makes it his mission to make you cum. obsessed with watching you fall apart on his tongue and his fingers, or on his cock or his thigh.
── really just nerd!gojo who finds out a lot about himself and is no longer virgin!gojo because of you.
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author's note: someone bring me a NERD RIGHT NOW
permanent taglist: @exclusiverinaa @starpachinko @kentotism @gumisueme @arcanefeelings @cyslips @sojumamii @naammiii @jvpit3rr @nvvxlaya @2ukika @ashyiiy @jud3thedude @antiblfanon14 @capsule-losing-contact @mrs-okkotsu222 @somethinglikero @raya4643 @julieannah @arasakaa @luciferslover @re-tired-succubus @xastoriaaurax @girlexpensive @sobbingscripter @bakuhoe37 @doechiiyz @evergumi @showtimejoseph @kimkimoruo
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atlas-of-andromeda · 24 hours ago
Text
Because I can, I'm answering all of them.
what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?
Alot of things, obviously, but if I had to pick, I'd say:
Being straight up bullied for expressing interest in things growing up by my brother
Being largely a social outcast for most of my life
And video games
show us a picture of your handwriting?
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Yes, I know it looks like shit.
For any curious, it's the lyrics to Does The Swallow Dream Of Flying by Cosmo Sheldrake that I wrote at school a few days ago because it was stuck in my head but I was in math so I couldn't listen to it.
3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
Wolfwalkers
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Heathers (1989)
what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?
Piss
(It's a long story)
what made you start your blog?
P.M. Seymour
what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?
Best? The anonymity of it.
Worse? The anonymity of it.
what scares you the most and why?
People hating me. I couldn't tell you why even if I wanted to.
any recurring dreams?
Sometimes I have this dream where I'm in a massive... sinkhole? I guess? That's covered entirely in moss, grass, trees, and miscellaneous foliage. There's also a waterfall somewhere in it. Everytime I have the dream it's dark, little light making it to where I am from the surface. I'm stood on this little cliff edge on the side of the hole, and everytime I look over the edge, and fall. And the dream ends there. I've had it at seemingly random intervals throughout the past... maybe nine-ish years?
There's also this dream I consistently have once, every four years. Where I'm awake in my bedroom at like... maybe 04:00 or something. And it's the early winter, snow just dusting the ground. I leave my room and the washroom door is open, light on, but all other lights are off. I walk over to the entranceway, and I can hear my mother screaming from the basement. I proceed to leave through the backdoor. I walk out into the front yard and my brother is there, and the lights on my family's car are on.
It gets a little fuzzy from then on, but I know that at some point I go back inside and there's a spoon - like the utensil - is important is some capacity. And at some point the dream suddenly switches into another, unrelated dream; where I'm laying on my back, on the floor of a massive almost warehouse-like building, completely empty, and except of the white and grey metal normally in warehouses, this building is made out of wooden planks. There's a giant fan on the roof blowing straight down on me. Balloons are involved at some point.
So... feel free to psychoanalyze me if you so wish!
tell a story about your childhood
One time my family and I were out visiting my grandfather, and there was a large lake near where he lived, so we went swimming. Now, I was like, five or six when this happened; I was very small (still am, but less so). And my older brother (by like four years) was walking out into the lake, and I was following him, because I did that sometimes when I was younger. And because he was (and still is) a lot bigger than me, he went out just fine. But because I was so small, the water picked me up and flipped me over, and I started drowning. My parents came to the rescue (my brother ignored me (dick)).
would you say you’re an emotional person?
I've gotten better in the last year or two, but yes.
what do you consider to be romance?
Couldn't tell you if I tried.
what’s some good advice you want to share?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
what are you doing right now?
Typing shit on Tumblr.
what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
Come out.
what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?
A house.
if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I'd make myself braver and less of of a push-over
name 3 things that make you happy
Music, drawing, walking in nature
do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?
Nope. Not even kinda.
favourite thing about the day?
Being on the bus to and from school. I'm not at school or my house and I get to talk with my friend.
favourite things about the night?
Nobody bothers you. You are left alone for hours on end. It's the only time you get peace.
are you a spiritual person?
Nope.
say 3 things about someone you love
You're always making such shit comments about LGBT+ and minority people, and I can't say anything in retort. You make it easy to forget what a shit person you are, and I'm happy until you make one of those comments again. You're the only person who seems to care about me, even if I know that that if I were to be honest with you that'd change in a second.
say 3 things about someone you hate
You can't shut up for five seconds and give me peace and quiet. You've ruined my life in so many ways for so long. I can't wait for you to be gone.
what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?
Going on for this long.
fave season and why?
Autumn. Cold, but not frostbite cold. limited amounts of bugs. Pretty colours. :)
fave colour and why?
Red. No reason, just like it.
any nicknames?
Pumpkin - my father.
do you collect anything?
Yeah! Rocks and breadclips! (Random. I know)
what do you do when you’re sad?
Depends. If I'm in public, suck it up until in private. In private, cry and read fanfiction.
what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?
Music.
are you messy or organized?
Pretty organized.
how many tabs do you have open right now?
...17...
any hobbies?
Drawing, writing, dancing, singing, playing guitar, playing harmonica.
any pet peeves?
People with no volume control.
do you trust easily?
Not really.
are you an open book or do you have walls up?
As many walls as possible.
share a secret
No. :)
fave song at the moment?
Vulture Culture by Fangclub
youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?
Rendog. Idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
any bad habits?
Biting my nails.
questions I think would be fun to be asked
what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?
show us a picture of your handwriting?
3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?
what made you start your blog?
what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?
what scares you the most and why?
any reacquiring dreams?
tell a story about your childhood
would you say you’re an emotional person?
what do you consider to be romance?
what’s some good advice you want to share?
what are you doing right now?
what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?
if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
name 3 things that make you happy
do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?
favourite thing about the day?
favourite things about the night?
are you a spiritual person?
say 3 things about someone you love
say 3 things about someone you hate
what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?
fave season and why?
fave colour and why?
any nicknames?
do you collect anything?
what do you do when you’re sad?
what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?
are you messy or organised?
how many tabs do you have open right now?
any hobbies?
any pet peeves?
do you trust easily?
are you an open book or do you have walls up?
share a secret
fave song at the moment?
youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?
any bad habits?
(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)
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alsofoundinpeas · 2 days ago
Text
Two Sides of the Same Coin
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Summary: Y/N is an international pop star, adored by millions—and maybe a little too adored. When a deranged stalker, obsessed with her every move, begins killing those close to her, the BAU steps in. Derek and Spencer are assigned as her bodyguards, tasked with keeping her safe until the stalker is caught. Trapped inside her house, none of them are happy about the arrangement, but tensions rise as they struggle with cabin fever—and a growing attraction they can't ignore.
CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+!! MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Reader is kind of a cunt but only because she's extremely upset/disturbed by the situation. Mentions of stalking/violence related to the case (not excessive or graphic I promise!!). Oral (both m and f receiving), fingering (f!receiving), overstimulation (f!receiving), crying during sex (f only and it isn't from pain I swear), spit-roasting, protected PinV sex, spanking, mix of praise and degradation. Mean Dom!Derek x Bratty Sub!Reader x Soft Dom!Spencer.
Pairing: Derek Morgan x fem!reader/afab!reader x Spencer Reid
A/N: Basically think the Lila situation but on steroids LMFAO I really enjoyed having you guys vote for the fic and I may do it again soon :') I'll admit, I really enjoyed writing this and stepping out of my comfort zone a bit! I truly hope you guys enjoy this and if you do, please like, reblog, and consider following! <3 Thank you and I love you all!! :)
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"You’re fucking joking."
The room was heavy with tension, everyone at the table shifting uneasily as Y/N’s words hung in the air. The meeting had only been underway for 45 minutes, most of which consisted of questions directed at her, trying to gather any information that might lead the BAU to her stalker. When it became clear that she had no idea of anyone who would want to leak her private information, the next bombshell dropped: she'd be stuck at home until they caught the person responsible.
Y/N’s manager, Anna, shoots Hotch a wary look as he clears his throat, his stern gaze never leaving Y/N. "At this moment, it’s a serious safety risk for you to leave your house—not just for you, but for anyone seen with you in public. As a result, SSA Derek Morgan and SSA Spencer Reid will be assigned to stay with you for your protection, and they’ll handle any errands you need until we can apprehend your stalker," he explains once more.
Y/N scoffed, her gaze briefly shifting to Anna before locking back on Hotch. "Really? So... not only am I being stalked by some fucking maniac because someone sold my information to the press, but now I’m trapped at home with two strangers? Two men I just met—what, thirty minutes ago?"
Derek and Spencer both sat up straighter, their expressions hardening as their lips pressed into thin lines. Neither of them was thrilled about the plan. They both insisted to Hotch that their skills would be better used helping the team, not playing babysitter for someone who clearly resented the arrangement. Hotch protested that they could still help from her house while also ensuring her safety, effectively shutting down any further arguments.
"We know this isn’t what you want, hun, but it’s either this or more innocent people—maybe even you—get killed," Anna urged, her hand resting gently on Y/N’s shoulder, offering what little comfort she could.
As much as she hated to admit it, Y/N knew Anna and Hotch were right. But that didn't mean she had to like it. The idea of her stalker thinking they had any control over her—believing she’d cower to some deranged loser who killed innocent people—sickened her.
"We’ll do everything in our power to track down whoever’s behind this," Hotch promised, his voice firm. "Once they’re caught, you’ll be able to go back to your normal life."
"Yeah, because everything’s going to feel normal after being stalked by a murderer," Y/N muttered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She sighed, her gaze flicking around the table before landing back on him. "Fine. Whatever. Thank you. Anna can show them to the guest rooms. Are we done here?"
The meeting concluded once the rules for her quarantine were set and the safety of her family and friends had been addressed. She was to remain in the house at all times, contact with anyone would be made through a burner phone to prevent her stalker from intercepting any personal devices (which Garcia was already examining for any clues about the leak), and her loved ones would be under close surveillance by the local PD, who had already been notified of the situation.
Once Y/N had stomped up the stairs, Anna took the time to show Morgan and Reid around.
Y/N's house, for a pop star, was surprisingly modest. She didn’t have a sprawling mansion or an army of staff catering to her every whim—just a personal chef (whom she paid very well) and a groundskeeper to handle the lawn care. Anna explained that, even though Y/N was one of the biggest names in pop music, she was incredibly grounded and more down-to-earth than anyone she’d worked with, not to mention fiercely independent.
"No offense, but I’m not exactly picking up on this ‘down-to-earth’ vibe you’re talking about,” Morgan grumbled as Anna trailed behind him and Spencer toward their SUV.
Anna chuckled, nodding as she watched the men grab their bags. “Like I said, that girl is as independent as they come. She’s just frustrated because this situation strips her of that independence and probably makes her feel helpless—which isn’t something she’s used to,” Anna said quietly. “Give it time. I’m sure she’ll ease up on you.”
The next few days quickly showed that Anna couldn’t have been more wrong.
Rather than easing up on the pair, Y/N had begun acting as though they didn’t exist. The only time she left her room was to collect whatever meal Vinny, her chef—an affable older gentleman—prepared for everyone, and to chat with him briefly while he cleaned up before heading out for the night. When she did speak to either of them, it was curt, often laced with sarcasm, and was usually a request to leave the house, which was always met with a hard no.
A week passed with no progress on the case and only a handful of awkward interactions. Spencer knocked on her door several times, offering dinner or a chance to play board games with him and Derek, but each time she turned him down. Morgan stopped pushing as hard to get her to talk. He kept telling Spencer that if she wanted to throw a fit over them risking their lives to keep her safe, so be it.
As the second week dragged on with no significant progress on the case, tension started to build among everyone. Y/N’s remarks had escalated from sharp, sarcastic comments to full-blown arguments—mostly with Derek. She no longer confined herself to her room; instead, she began strutting around the house in the most revealing outfits she could find, knowing full well they flustered Spencer.
With Vinny handling the grocery shopping and Y/N’s house fully stocked with everything they could need, there was no real reason for Reid or Morgan to leave for the so-called errands Hotch had mentioned to get a break from her. Spencer had read and re-read every book he brought with him, unwilling to touch the ones Y/N had. Derek spent most of his time in the home gym or on the phone with Garcia and other team members, eager to contribute from afar.
As for Y/N
 well, she was beyond tired of being cooped up in her room all day and decided it was time to take matters into her own hands.
The door creaked softly as Y/N peeked her head into the dark hallway, wincing at the sound before freezing. She held her breath, straining to hear any sign of movement in the house. It was late—just after 11:00 p.m.—and she silently hoped both agents were asleep.
After hearing nothing, she carefully tiptoed down the stairs and into the living room. Just as she was slipping her shoes on by the back door, the light suddenly flickered on, startling her so much she almost lost her balance. Spinning around, she found Spencer standing there in his pajamas, watching her with a wary expression, his face showing signs of exhaustion.
"What exactly are you doing?"
Y/N pressed her lips together, exhaling sharply through her nose as she shifted on her heels. “I
 um, I was just going to run to the store. I’m out of—” She faltered, scrambling for a convincing excuse. “—shampoo! Yeah
 and I didn’t think it was worth waking either of you up to grab it for me.”
Reid sighed, shaking his head. "Y/N, you know you're not supposed to leave the house, no matter what. Are you really willing to risk your life over a bottle of shampoo?"
"I wouldn’t be risking my life!" Y/N snapped, throwing her hands up in frustration as she stepped away from the door. "It would take thirty minutes tops."
Derek, already awake, had overheard the quiet argument from his room. Curious, he got up and headed down the hall toward the kitchen, pausing to listen. Spencer muttered something else, but it was too soft for him to catch.
Y/N rolled her eyes, releasing an exaggerated sigh before fixing Spencer with a glare that had him swallowing hard. She stepped forward, her chest brushing against his as she tilted her head up. "I’ve been in the public eye since I was seventeen, Doctor. I think I can handle a trip to the store on my own. I’ll even wear a disguise. I just want out of this fucking house," she hissed.
“I get it, Y/N. I really do. But there’s a psychotic stalker targeting anyone who even looks your way right now. We can’t take that risk.” Spencer’s voice was gentle, but his stance was unyielding. Despite how
 intimidating she could be, he wasn’t afraid of her.
Morgan rounded the corner, an eyebrow raised as he took in the scene—Y/N and Reid practically nose to nose. He’d caught what she said from the kitchen and decided it was time to step in. “Y/N,” he barked, crossing his arms and leaning against the back of the couch. “Quit giving the kid a hard time. The answer’s no. Not happening, princess. Deal with it.”
Y/N tilted her head, her glare still fixed on Spencer. “And what exactly are you going to do about it? Punish me?” Her voice dropped low, dripping with mockery as she finally turned her attention to Derek, a daring glint in her eyes.
Derek’s eyebrows lifted, a humorless chuckle escaping him that sent a shiver down her spine. He pushed off the couch and closed the distance in two long strides. His hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and yanking her away from Spencer, his voice dropping into a low growl in her ear.
"Maybe I should. Maybe we both should."
Heat surged to Y/N’s cheeks as she glanced up at him, still pressed against his chest after stumbling into him. She swallowed hard, caught off-guard by the dangerous glint in his eyes. Neither of them looked away, both stubbornly refusing to back down.
“What?” Spencer sputtered, his voice laced with incredulity as he finally broke their heated stares. His eyes flicked between them, wide with shock. “Absolutely not! That’s beyond unprofessional—and completely inappropriate!”
"And at what point during this entire babysitting gig has she been professional or appropriate?" Morgan challenged, releasing his grip on Y/N's wrist to throw his hands up in exasperation.
Reid hesitated, opening his mouth to respond, but the words failed him.
"Exactly," Derek said triumphantly. "She’s been a complicated, hard-headed smartass from the second we stepped through that door—" He gestured toward the door with a pointed jab of his thumb. "—and she’s the one who asked for it. I say we give her exactly what she wants."
Spencer gnawed at his lower lip, his expression torn as he grappled with not only the moral implications of what was being offered but also the idea of his best friend and colleague seeing his dick. He shuddered at the thought, then turned his gaze to Y/N, who stood frozen, her expression one of shock—as though she hadn’t considered this could actually happen. "Is that
 is that really something you want us to do?"
He couldn’t believe he was actually entertaining the idea. But Morgan wasn’t wrong
 she’d been a pain in the ass the entire week they’d been stuck with her. And, despite the attitude, she was undeniably one of the most attractive women he’d ever laid eyes on. Besides, fucking one of the world's most famous pop stars certainly wasn't the worst thing that could happen to him while on a case.
Y/N glanced between the two of them, her gaze flickering before she nodded slowly. "Uh
 yeah. It is," she admitted, her voice quiet and subdued—completely at odds with the mouthy, brazen woman she’d been all week.
She couldn’t deny that both of them were devastatingly attractive, and maybe if the circumstances were different then she would have enjoyed their company. It was the fact that they were so good at their jobs that agitated her, successfully keeping her trapped in her own house. As much as she loathed being stuck indoors, she had to give credit where it was due—they were doing everything they could to keep her safe and make her lockdown more bearable. Maybe she had been a bit too hard on them

"Then go up to your room and wait for us on your bed," Derek ordered lowly. "Naked," he added.
The second she was out of sight, Spencer turned to Morgan, eyes wide with disbelief, and followed him into the kitchen. "Are we really going through with this?" he whispered, pacing back and forth as Morgan sifted through his wallet.
A shameless smile graced his face as he pulled out two condoms, tossing one toward Reid before shrugging. "I am. If you're uncomfortable, you don’t have to do anything. Seriously, kid. No pressure," Derek murmured, his tone reassuring as he noticed the hint of insecurity in Spencer’s expression.
Spencer flinched as the item flew toward him, stumbling back slightly before he crouched to grab the foil packet from the ground, shaking his head.
"It’s not that I don’t want to! I just—Hotch would kill us if he found out, and—"
"Then he won't find out. Simple."
Derek’s voice was calm, the complete opposite of Spencer’s nervous energy. He started toward the stairs, glancing over his shoulder at Reid with a smirk. "You coming, or what?"
Spencer breathed in deeply, releasing the tension with a sigh before nodding and trailing behind him toward Y/N's room.
Spencer wasn't a complete stranger to sex, having had a few short-term relationships that had always fizzled out due to the erratic nature of his schedule. But he didn't have nearly the experience Morgan had. He'd also never had a threesome, something he knew for a fact Morgan had participated in more than once thanks to his ability to overshare and desire to make Reid as flustered as he possibly could.
Derek stopped outside Y/N’s door and turned to Spencer. "Hey," he said softly, drawing the younger man’s attention. "Quit overanalyzing. I can practically see the wheels turning. Just follow my lead, okay? I know you’re a quick learner."
Spencer huffed out a small laugh. "I’ll do my best," he murmured, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the tension in his muscles.
Morgan clapped a hand on his back reassuringly, grinning. "If it helps, I promise my focus won't be on your dick if that's what you're worried about."
Reid shoved him with an annoyed groan, rolling his eyes as Derek stifled his lighter. Once he composed himself, he opened the door, leading the way into Y/N's dimly lit room. The sight before them had Morgan stopping dead in his tracks, causing Spencer to stumble into his back with a quiet grunt.
There before them, splayed in the middle of her bed, was Y/N. She'd listened to Morgan's instructions, having stripped completely bare. Her fingers traced leisurely up and down the inside of her thigh, and there was a coy smirk on her face as she glanced up at them.
"Finally," she sighed, sitting up as they began to strip out of their clothes. "And here I was thinking I was about to have to take care of myself."
Derek arched a brow, tossing his shirt to the floor. Spencer followed suit, lifting his hoodie over his head and letting it fall to the ground. Y/N watched eagerly as more and more of their skin was revealed, deepening the aching need throbbing between her legs.
"You sure you wanna keep running that mouth of yours?" Morgan chuckled, reaching down to shove his sweats down. The sight sent a thrill through her body as she let her gaze wander down his torso, landing on his hardening cock. Her breath hitched as he wrapped a hand around it, stroking himself once before stepping forward.
Spencer froze as he watched Derek round the bed, tossing his condom onto her nightstand before kneeling on it behind Y/N. His fingers lingered on the waistband of his plaid pajama pants, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't help but stare as she shifted up onto her hands and knees, wiggling her ass enticingly in Morgan's direction as she kept her heated gaze locked on him.
"I'm sure—"
Her words were cut off by a yelp, her body jolting forward as a sharp smack sounded through the room. Reid's eyes widened, his cock twitching in his pants reminding him that he was supposed to be taking them off. He quickly sprung back into action, hurriedly stepping out of them.
"Since you're so sure..." Derek mocked her. "Then he'll just have to fill that pretty mouth up until you can use it to be nice."
He motioned for Spencer to move in front of her before pushing the back of her head down, leaving her propped on her elbows with her ass in the air and her head near the edge of the mattress. His hands rubbed up and down her sides, massaging gently as he settled behind her. "If you need us to stop, you just tell us, princess. Got it?"
"Got it," Y/N whimpered softly before another sharp smack landed on her ass. She cried out, savoring the slight stinging left behind from the motion.
Spencer's hand landed on her shoulder, stroking gently before guiding her chin up, waiting for her to lift back up onto her arms. His thumb traced her lower lip almost reverently before he stooped down to meld his mouth to hers in a hungry kiss. The moan that rumbled in her throat only spurred him on, and his tongue prodded at the seam of her lips briefly before he broke the kiss, straightening his back.
"Come on then, sweetheart," Spencer murmured breathlessly, reaching down to grab himself before tapping the flushed head of his cock against her bottom lip. "You heard him."
Y/N's tongue poked out to circle the tip before she moved forward, wrapping her lips around him. A groan slipped from his mouth as she worked her way down his length, adjusting herself to the feel of him in her mouth. She was honestly surprised when she got her first look at both of them—they were big.
Morgan waited until she found a steady rhythm to let his fingers drift down to her pussy, swiftly thrusting two inside of her. Her surprised cry was muffled by her mouthful, and he smirked, cocking his head as he began a brutal pace. "Huh? What was that?" He taunted, palming her ass cheek. "Couldn't hear you over all that gagging you're doing."
Spencer brought a hand up to cup her face as Y/N continued sucking, stroking his thumb along the indention his cock was causing against her cheek. The whine she let out around him was pitiful, but fuck did it feel good. He fought the urge to thrust forward into the warmth of her mouth, letting her keep a pace she was comfortable with.
"It better have been an apology," Derek continued, curling his fingers to stroke the rough patch of nerves inside of her that had her shoving her hips back into his touch. "You certainly owe us one. Doesn't she, Reid?"
Spencer chuckled breathlessly, nodding in agreement. He rested his free hand on the back of her head, keeping the pressure light enough to where he wasn't pushing down but enough for her to register the feeling. "She definitely does," he murmured.
“Then it's settled," Morgan hummed, pulling his fingers out of her dripping core. "Say you’re sorry to us, princess,” he demanded, landing a harsh slap to her ass.
Y/N let out a muffled cry around Spencer’s cock, gagging slightly as the movement pushed her forward. Spencer gently tugged her off of him, groaning at the line of spit drawing a bridge between his flushed head and her swollen lips. He looked down at her expectantly, stroking her cheek as he waited patiently.
“I-I’m sorry!” Y/N sobbed, looking up at Spencer with watery eyes.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she almost looked sweet with her flushed cheeks and pouty lips. But he did know better, and he knew that her being such a brat was exactly what landed her here.
“You behave and I promise I’ll take care of you, sweetheart,” Reid murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head before guiding her mouth back onto his cock.
Morgan chuckled darkly from behind her, massaging the tender skin for a moment before reeling back and landing another sharp hit to the same spot. Y/N's noise was stifled by the thick cock currently stuffed down her throat, effectively gagging her in the most erotic way. He repeated the motion, his eyes locked on the way her ass rippled underneath his palm.
"You better be thankful he's here, pretty girl. If it were up to me, you wouldn't be cumming at all tonight because of how you've acted."
That prompted a low whine from the back of her throat, causing Spencer's hips to jerk forward and a whimper to slip from his lips as the vibrations caused pleasure to sear through his veins. Taking it as encouragement, Y/N continued bobbing her head along his length, fighting against her gag reflex each time she took him deep into her throat. It was needy and messy, the sight of her spit dripping down her chin and her smudged mascara enough to make Spencer throw his head back and squeeze his eyes shut so he didn't cum down her throat.
While Y/N was distracted, Derek had reached for the condom he'd set down on her nightstand and slid it on. He shifted behind her to line himself up at her entrance, running the head of his cock up and down her slit before pushing forward.
She instantly keened at the sensation of him filling her up, her mouth hanging open and letting Spencer's length slip out as her eyes squeezed shut.
"Shh, that's it," Reid cooed, stroking her cheek gently with one hand while fisting himself with the other, pumping himself slowly. "You're doing such a good job, sweetheart. God, you're so beautiful."
"Fuck—" Y/N cried out, her body rocking from the brutal pace Derek set.
“I didn’t tell you to stop, princess,” Morgan grunted between thrusts, reaching up to shove her head back down on Spencer’s cock. "And you better not fucking cum."
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she began to bob her head once more, her moans muffled and blended with theirs. She could feel her arousal dripping down her thighs, a physical reminder of how turned on she was from letting the two agents sent to protect her use her, her pussy clenching around him at the thought. The pleasure coursing through her was overwhelming as Derek began to stroke her clit in time with his thrusts, taunting her even further with the orgasm she couldn't have yet.
It didn't take long for Morgan's hips to stutter, ramming into her for a few more thrusts before he emptied everything he had into the condom with a shout. Y/N's body trembled with exertion as she fought her climax with every ounce of willpower she had, wanting to prove to both of them that she could be good. Reid wasn't far behind him, shooting ropes of warm liquid down her throat as he groaned her name over and over, his hips bucking into her mouth sloppily. Morgan rode out his high with a few more weak thrusts before slipping out of her, landing one final slap to her ass with a tired grin.
"I think she's learned her lesson from me," Derek chuckled, gathering his clothes and slipping them back on. "Have at her, kid."
Y/N let Spencer's softening cock slip free from her lips, her chest heaving and face flushed as she fought to catch her breath. The sound of the door closing prompted her to look up at him, her eyes blurred from tears. Spencer smiled softly, moving to hover above her on the bed.
"You did—" Reid kissed her lips tenderly. "So, so good, sweetheart," he murmured as his lips trailed down to her breasts, a soft gasp falling from her lips as his tongue swirled around one of her taut nipples before sucking it into his mouth. "And now—" His words were muffled around her skin. "I'm going to make you cum—" He pulled away, blowing softly on the pert bud before switching to the other. "Over and over and over."
Y/N arched into his touch, tangling his fingers into his hair as his lips moved down her body. "Please," she whimpered, spreading her shaky legs to make room for him.
Spencer took mercy on her, latching his mouth onto her clit and suckling gently before lapping up her essence in slow, hard strokes. A guttural groan fell from her lips as he began to devour her, his own needy moans against her skin pushing her that much closer to her already devastatingly close orgasm. Her hips began to rock against his face as her grip on his hair tightened, incomprehensible babbles of his name leaving her over and over as the pleasure in her stomach coiled tightly.
All it took was the feeling of his tongue prodding against her entrance for her climax to seize her. Wrecked cries filled the room as she thrashed beneath him, her head falling back against her pillows as he continued working her through it.
True to his word, Spencer made her cum another two times after that before finally relenting, pressing a sticky kiss to her forehead before trotting off down the stairs to grab her a water bottle.
When he returned to her room, he gently coaxed her into sitting up and drinking, rambling softly about the importance of hydration after intense physical activity. Too drained to say much, she offered a weak smile and murmured a quiet thank you before handing the bottle back. She then curled up against her pillows, surrendering to the exhaustion pulling at her—but not without asking him to stay.
The next morning, when Morgan and Reid got the call that the stalker had been arrested, they exchanged a small, knowing grin before heading off to share the good news with Y/N. And when she slipped her number into their pockets with a casual "hit me up if you're ever in town" while hugging them goodbye
 well, Hotch didn’t need to know about that, either.
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Continued A/N's: This took a bit longer to post than I originally planned because I kept coming back to add more whoops I'm so sorry for the delay!! But I hope you guys enjoy it and of course please feel free to let me know what you think! :) <3
REMINDER: I do not give permission for my work to be re-uploaded to any other platforms (c.ai, Tiktok, ao3, etc.) under any circumstances. If you'd like to translate my work, then please just ask me before doing so. I know it sounds whiny, but I (as well as many other fanfic writers) spend so much time on these and it's genuinely not okay to take credit for work that isn't yours. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. If I do see my work uploaded anywhere without explicit permission, I WILL say something.
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luvacookie · 7 hours ago
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à­šà­§ say cheese.
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choso kamo always gets what he wants in the end.
❄ warnings : kind of stalker choso, alcohol usage, light smut, photo taking, fem blk coded reader, intended use of lower case.
❄ cookie for ur thoughts ? : a little choso drabble bcs im going through it and need him biblically. also ignoring that ive been missing for 9 months

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possessive ! choso who likes to poke fun at you all the time, loving to get you all riled up because it’s cute to see you with an attitude
possessive ! choso who sneaks his way into your life almost daily, some how finding away to piss you off differently every single day
possessive ! choso who tells you that it’s just a joke and to lighten up when you snap at him
“it’s not fucking funny ! is it that hard to leave me alone ?” you shout at him, your hands resting on your hips.
he raises his hands, a small smirk on his face. “i’m sorry princess, forgot how sensitive you are.”
possessive ! choso who watches as you stomp away, muttering profanity under your breath about how much you hate his stupid face
possessive ! choso who had been following your every move for longer than you could imagine, silently stalking you on your socials and even going as far to sometimes stalk you in person
possessive ! choso whose gears grind when he sees you talking to literally any other male but him, you were his after all
“your new boyfriend is cute isn’t he ?” he asks playfully, though his joking demeanour doesn’t quite match the dull look in his eyes.
you scoff, “him ? my boyfriend ? you insult me. he’s just a friend.”
“that’s why you were all fucking over him, yeah ?” he mumbles, looking off to the side somewhere.
possessive ! choso who goes to all the same social events as you because it gives him an opportunity to see you all dolled up and outside of college
possessive ! choso who sees you at a party dancing with another guy and something inside of him snaps
possessive ! choso who drags you away from the random, forcing you into a close proximity with him and him only
“what the fuck !” you shout at him, mildly intoxicated and definitely angered.
“why were you all up on that guy y/n ? you know he was just trying to get a quick fuck from you,” he says harshly, missing the way your face contorts.
you scoffed in his face. “so what, maybe i wanted a quick fuck from him too.”
possessive ! choso whose blood boils at the statement, disgusted at the thought of that creep putting his cock in you
possessive ! choso who ushers you up stairs into the nearest bedroom, locking the door behind him
possessive ! choso who kisses you roughly as soon as he gets his hands on you
“such a needy slut huh ?” he mocks you, breathing heavily whilst you whine at him for more.
“shut the fuck up and kiss me choso,” you snap, dragging him back in for a longer, more heated makeout.
he moans against your lips and pushes you on the bed, “wanted this for so long princess.”
possessive ! choso leaving dark bites all over your exposed skin, warning off anyone who dared to come near you for the rest of the night
possessive ! choso undressing you swiftly then getting his phone out of his back pocket
“smile baby, want everyone to know who you belong to,” he mumbles, angling the camera over your body.
you comply with him, giving him a sweet, innocent smile.
“fuckkkk... i’m gonna fuckin’ ruin you,” he groans, the flash highlighting all your curves.
possessive ! choso who follows through on his words, giving you the most soul-shattering orgasm of your life
possessive ! choso who sets that picture as his lock screen when he’s done so he can always stare at your beautiful body and face
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feelbokkie · 2 days ago
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L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 22
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WARNINGS: swearing, mention of food and eating, depiction of an anxiety attack
PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader
GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff
P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)
SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?
TAGLIST: ♡PENED
W♡RD C♡UNT: 2,972
SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 21
A/N: I wasn't planning on writing this chapter so soon but on of you sent me a ko-fi and it kinda motivated me to get this chapter done and out.
PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT
©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
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You flip through the menu for the fifth time trying to figure out what to eat. Hyunjin and Wonseok happily chat along in their own little world about some art movement—you lost the plot of their conversation ages ago when they started about a specific type of paint and technique that you’re not even going to try to pronounce. Changbin sits across from you, absent-mindedly fiddling with his menu and nodding to the ongoing conversation.
“Are we boring you so much that you’re just going through the menu? Again?” Wonseok asks suddenly.
“I don’t know what to eat,” You grumble quietly.
Wonseok reaches over and turns a few pages in your menu. When he finds the page he's looking for he traces the page with his finger until he lands on one of the menu items. "They have fish and chips right here."
"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd take us to an actual restaurant. I can't order fish and chips while the three of you order...whatever you're going to order. It's like if I went to a restaurant back home and just ordered tteok-bokki...or if we were in the States and I got chicken tenders and fries." You gently push Wonseok's hand away from you and roll your eyes.
Wonseok pulls back his hand and brings it to his temples, almost as if he's starting to get a headache. "This is probably the only time I'm going to get to treat professional idols to a meal, I'm not just going to give them street food. Just order what you really want to eat because you're not going to be able to order fish and chips for dinner at the place we're going to. I don't want to hear you complain about not eating what you wanted for the rest of my life."
You huff out a 'fine' as you close your menu and set it to the side. Your eyes land on Changbin who is quietly scribbling something on a piece of paper that seems to have materialized. You quietly shake your head and turn your attention to Hyunjin who is looking between you and Wonseok, thinking hard about something.
"You know, Wonnie, Hyunjin is an amazing artist." You pull up your broken arm from resting on your lap. "He's the one who drew all over my cast. He posts some of his stuff on his Instagram. He's probably even carrying around his sketchbook in that tote bag of his..."
"Ah, noona..." Hyunjin's voice trails off as he scratches the back of his neck. You can't see his ears under his hat but you can almost imagine how red they're getting.
Wonseok takes your broken arm and carefully examines the doodles and drawings on your cast. Most of them are flowers and plants. Occasionally, there are little characters like the BbokAri he drew next to Felix's message and the puppy next to Seungmin's. There's hardly any room left for anyone else to write anything. Before you forbade any of the members from hanging out with you without someone else there, Hyunjin would find his way to you when he was bored and draw on your arm.
"Wow, these are amazing, Hyunjin! Do you mind if I look at your sketchbook?"
Your arm is returned to you as Wonseok and Hyunjin get wrapped up in yet another art-filled conversation. Changbin is still focused on his piece of paper, scribbling away. Part of you wishes you could pull out the small tablet you brought with you so you could work on editing photos on the ride to the gallery. But you know that'll only cause Wonseok to scold you for working when you're not supposed to. If you could offer more thought to Wonseok and Hyunjin's conversation that isn't just regurgitated garbage from your first-year introduction to art history course that you took back in university, then you could easily join in their conversation.
Deciding to bite the bullet, you sit up a bit straighter in your seat and rest your chin in your good hand. "What are you so focused on writing there Changbin?"
There's a moment of silence between the two of you. He pauses writing but you're not sure if he heard you or is thinking of what to write.
"Lyrics," He mumbles so softly that you almost miss it amongst the noise that is Wonseok and Hyunjin chattering loudly beside you.
"Did you get an idea just now?" You perk up in your seat a bit. "Can...can I see? I won't write about it. It's all off the record."
Changbin's head stays low, focusing on writing his lyrics. It's only now that you're reminded of his inability to focus on more than one thing at a time. The fact that he answered you earlier is strange and probably the most he can do.
You watch him silently as he works. You take note of all of the little things you see. Like the way his brows twitch as he tries not to furrow then while he scribbles something out. Or how the fingers on his nondominant hand dance on the table while his head subtly bops along to a rhythm only known to him. Whether he's simultaneously creating a beat in his head while he works or he's remembering a song that one of the other members of 3racha made is another unknown factor that you wish you knew the answer to. You notice the way he mouths out the words he's writing to himself and how quickly he presses his lips together and shakes his head when it appears to not flow correctly. You can only imagine that this is what it was like watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel; hypotonic.
You only break out of your trance when your server comes to the table and takes your order, something that neither you nor Changbin noticed until Wonseok and Hyunjin told you. And that's when Changbin finally looked up and caught you staring at him, forcing you to look away as heat rose to your face. Wonseok took advantage of the situation and ordered your food for you before you could change your mind.
After lunch, the four of you decided to walk around London for a bit. When you were working with Han and Seungmin yesterday, you made sure to avoid the more populated and obvious tourist areas, only capturing notable landmarks in the distant background. With more freedom to explore, you all head to the more touristy areas so Hyunjin and Changbin can blend in more seamlessly.
As you walk along the crowded streets, the earlier pain you felt inside the art galley quickly comes back. You're paying less attention to the conversation between Wonseok and Hyunjin and more to your surroundings. Despite the cool day, you feel suffocatingly hot. Almost like something is sucking all of the air out of your lungs.
"...Y/n!"
You snap out of whatever daze you're in at the sound of Wonseok's worried voice. You glance up to meet three concerned faces watching you carefully.
"Sorry, what were you saying?" Your voice is thick is unsteady as you're unable to meet any of their eyes.
"Are you okay? You're walking slowly. I thought we lost you in the crowd for a moment there."
You swallow hard as you try to settle your rapidly beating heart. "I think I ate too much earlier. My stomach hurts."
"You look kind of pale, noona," Hyunjin chimes in. "Maybe we should head back to the hotel?"
You wave Hyunjin off quickly. "N-no, it's okay. I just need a moment."
"I'll go get you some water." Wonseok's voice softens with a gentle tone as he looks around for a shop.
Hyunjin places one hand on Wonseok's shoulder, stopping him from trying to look through the crowd. He pulls his bucket hat off with his other hand, gaining a clear view of the area. "We've been here a few times. I think I know where there's a shop nearby. I'll help you find it, hyung."
"Okay, thank you. Changbin, are you okay watching Y/n?" Wonseok asks the younger man.
Too focused on the unsettling feeling growing through your body, you don't notice that Changbin's already watching you. He's been silently keeping an eye on you since you started to fall behind on your walk. Had Wonseok waited a second longer to notice you, Changbin would have said something to bring their attention to you.
"I got her," He says simply.
With that, Hyunjin tosses something at Changbin and leads Wonseok forward through the crowd. Changbin quietly pulls you off to the side away from the crowd, under the shade of a tree. You mumble out what you hope is a 'thank you,' and focus on Changbin's shoes. They're white sneakers a blue stripe going through them. Subconsciously, you start to count the small holes near the end of the shoe while you place your hand on your chest. You feel your heart beating rather quickly like it's beating a little too hard and might give out at any moment. You apply as much pressure with your hand and take deep, unsteady breaths as you try to calm your heart.
You feel something cover your head, partly obstructing your vision and muffling the outside noise. You look back up at Changbin who is now adjusting Hyunjin's bucket hat that he put on your head.
"Professional idol secret," His words come slowly as he continues to fix the rim around the hat. "A lot of us don't do well in crowds so we wear bucket hats to block out the noise and the view a bit. Fans think we wear them to hide our hair for comebacks, but most of the time it's to protect our sanity."
You swallow dryly, unable to wet your suddenly parched throat. "I go to concerts and fan signs for a living. I do well in crowds."
Changbin crouches down so you can see him under the protection of the bucket hat, a tender smile warms his whole face. It's the first time you've seen him smile since the gallery. "In the past, yeah, but...you have the same expression on your face that you've been getting when we're at the airport lately. You kind of look like Hannie when he's having an anxiety attack."
"I don't have anxiety attacks," You're not sure if you're telling Changbin or reassuring yourself. You can't remember a single moment in your life where you've had an anxiety attack. So why would you start now?
"Okay," Changbin nods before standing up straight again, your view of him is once again obstructed by the hat. He gently takes your hand off of your chest and places it on his own. "At the very least, match my breathing. You sound like you just ran a marathon and I can't help you if you pass out. I don't know cpr."
The two of you stand there for a moment. Changbin's hand is firmly on yours as he keeps it on his chest. You have no choice but to match his breathing by following the steady rising and falling of his chest. You can feel the subtle, yet rapid thuds of his heart beating in his chest despite how calm he is.
Slowly, but surely, your own breathing falls into its own steady rhythm and the strange feeling in your body dissipates. You're not exactly sure how long the two of you stand like that, but eventually you drop your hand from his chest and Changbin let's you.
"Better?"
You slowly nod your head. Most of your discomfort is gone, but you still feel jittery. Almost as if you injected straight caffeine into your bloodstream. "Yeah, I just need to sit down."
Changbin doesn't ask further questions and instead leads you to the small grassy area near the tree and urges you to sit. He joins you on the grass, falling back into silence. Now that you're relatively back to normal, you can't help but avoid looking at Changbin. You're more thankful for the hat now that it can help you avoid his gaze.
The two of you sit there in silence for a few more minutes before Wonseok and Hyunjin find you. Hyunjin is about to question why you're wearing his hat before Changbin stands up and pulls Hyunjin to the side for a moment to talk to him.
Wonseok takes one of the empty spots beside you and rummages through the plastic bag he brought back with you. He pulls out a water bottle and a small metal tin and hands them to you. "I watched a TikTok ages ago and a doctor on there said that mint is supposed to be good for an upset stomach."
"Thank you," You smile tiredly at Wonseok.
Hyunjin and Changbin make their way back to you. Hyunjin takes the other open spot next to you while Changbin sits on the other side of him. They're quiet for a moment while you continue to drink your water and eat the mints that Wonseok bought. Wonseok passes out the other water bottles from his bag to Hyunjin and Changbin.
Surprisingly, Changbin breaks the silence first, asking if the store that Wonseok and Hyunjin went to was crowded. Then the conversation shifted to what everyone planned to do later. Wonseok tells them about your now tentative dinner plans, which leads to an argument. You change the subject to see what the newlywed couple of the group had planned. The conversation shifts again, this time to souvenirs that all of you want to get. Which of course leads to another teasing argument that ends with Wonseok trying to make you spill water on yourself.
"You two are such a cute couple. How long hav--"
You choke on your water as Hyunjin's words catch you off guard and trickle down the wrong pipe. Wonseok has his own visceral reaction, one that you don't see but you can hear the sound of him gagging at the question. Still, Wonseok slaps your back to help you get the water out.
"We--are not--dating." You choke out as you try to regain your composure.
"Y/n is like my little sister," Wonseok adds as he drops his hand back to his side.
Both Hyunjin and Changbin have confused expressions as they watch the two of you. Hyunjin opens and closes his mouth like a fish as he lets out confused babbles. "Sorry, I just thought...you two are...when..."
"Wonseok hyung is older than you but you two talk casually. Plus you're so close." Changbin says finally. Hyunjin shuts his mouth and nods quickly, agreeing with Changbin's reasoning.
"That's because Wonnie is a pathological liar--ouch!" You rub the spot on your leg where Wonseok hit you and glare at him. Although, you're not sure he saw your face through the hat.
"Stop telling people that I'm a pathological liar." You don't have to see to know that he's rolling his eyes. Wonseok shifts a bit and faces Hyunjin and Changbin. "I enlisted right after I graduated high school to get my military service over with. I ended up liking it so much that I stayed for two more years. When I finally enrolled in university, I was so much older than everyone in my classes that I just never mentioned how old I was. I met Y/n our senior year during our internship so I never said anything. She didn't know that I was older until we got our official IDs with our birth year on them."
"And he's so much older," You crack a smile.
"Stop that, I'm only 3 years older than you."
"Whatever," You wave him off as you turn back to the two younger men. "Besides, we're really like family. His parents treat us like siblings."
"Plus I have a girlfriend."
"And he has a girlfri..." Your voice falters in the middle of your sentence as you think about it for a moment. You turn to Wonseok and blink for a moment as you try to process what's happening. "You got a girlfriend? You actually got a woman to talk to you? Romantically? Who is it? Do I know her?"
His lips form a line so tight that the skin around them turns white while he tries to think. You flip part of the bucket hat up so you can see his have better. He's looking down at a blade of grass, contemplating something before he meets your eyes. "Frankie,"
"My Frankie?"
"Well, technically our Frankie but yeah." He sheepishly scratches the back of his neck.
"Oh," Your heart rapidly sinks to the bottom of your stomach.
You physically bite your tongue to prevent yourself from asking a million questions. Knowing that your best friends are dating behind your back hurts. Especially when there's an unspoken agreement against keeping secrets. So why did

"I'm going to throw this all away and then we can explore a bit more." You get up quickly and take everyone's now empty water bottle.
If you stay where you are and continue to let your mind wander any further, you're going to either say something rude to Wonseok or burst into tears. You're happy that your friends found happy relationships. But they kept it from you and the idea of that doesn't feel good in your head or your heart.
"Noona--"
Wonseok puts his arm out, preventing Changbin from going after you. You're out of ear range as you walk quickly to the trashcan. Wonseok turns to both younger men and shares a small smile. "I get it but if you try to comfort Y/n when she's upset, it's going to become a bigger issue. Trust me, she hate when people see her upset or cry. Just let her have a moment and then she'll be okay."
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@weird-bookworm @stayconnecteed @brain-empty-only-draken @hanniemylovelyquokka @sunshinessky 
@marked-unknown @lanatheawesome @theblindhag @skz-f0rlif3 @f9clementine 
@kalopsian-thoughts @ismelllikechlorine247 @hyunjineret @kangaracharacha @slut4colinbridgerton 
@reverse-soe @cupidsmoons @jungwonderz @szkstay @tenmii 
@stay278 @phtogravi @hannahs-docx @jihanlovic @alnex05 
@beccaskz @starlostastronaut @itsseohannbin @kayleefriedchicken @anushasstuff
@jutdwae-archives @dazzlingjade @itzella @divineinsanity @skzjen
@binchive @hannahdinse8
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kisssukuna33 · 8 hours ago
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Thinking about your Chef HusbandSukuna! Who always uses you as his personal food critic whenever he experiments with a new dish. You are the first to taste it before it goes into the restaurant menu. When you question him about it one time he said you're his personal lucky charm because whenever you taste a new dish first it instantly becomes a hit in the menu.
Chef HusbandSukuna! Who has a whole wall dedicated to you and the pics of you two together in his restaurant. Oh but did I mention about the big wall art next to those pics? A wall art of you smiling that he painted himself. He still talks about that art piece proudly to this day.
Chef HusbandSukuna! who has no problem attracting customers. His restaurant is widely known in the town as one of the best spots but the only problem he faces is when people come into his restaurant being attracted to something other than his food. You can only imagine the amount of thirsty comments from both men and women under his restaurant reviews.
Chef HusbandSukuna! Who HATES it when people flirt with him even after clearly seeing the wedding ring he wears daily. That's why he lets his co-workers do all the serving and he rarely comes out of the kitchen until someone ask for his presence.
And whenever a customer flirt with him or ask for his number he straight up points to the wall art of you displayed in the restaurant and murmur "my wife" as he go back into the kitchen unbothered.
Chef HusbandSukuna! Who never lets you cook anything in the kitchen. He always prepare you food and snacks whenever you ask him without complaining and you slowly came to realize that's his way of showing his love for you. And when he prepares food for you it's never anything simple either,he makes sure his wife eats a 5 star meal everyday.
Chef HusbandSukuna! Who takes it as personal offense whenever you recommend take out for dinner. He doesn't understand why you want to eat that unhealthy junk shit when you have a whole chef as your husband.
"Just say you don't love me anymore"
"Kuna.. You are being dramatic I asked it for a change not because I don't love your cooking"
"Then marry a fast food worker that way you can eat junk shit everyday"
"Sukuna!!"
Chef HusbandSukuna! Who always decorate your bento box so cutely when you go to work. He doesn't miss with the hello kitty shaped rice balls and the heart shaped vegetables everytime. One time you remember your coworker asking if you're married to a woman because they refuse to believe a bento box that cute was a work of a man.
Safe to say your coworker was even more suprised after seeing the intimidating 6'4 tatted man who came to pick you up later.
Chef HusbandSukuna! Who always knows to prioritize you over his beloved restaurant. You are sick? Yeah he closes the restaurant and stay by your side all day taking care of you. You want to go on a date? Say no more restaurant is closed within a minute. You took a day off ? yeah the restaurant is closed that day. You wonder how he even keep up the popularity of this restaurant like this.
Chef HusbandSukuna! Who always loves telling people the story about how you two met and how his restaurant took off after he started dating you. In his eyes you were a blessing given to him. He always wonder how his life started getting better and better after meeting you. A cold heart that was completely untouched by everyone started melting at the presence of yours.
But one thing he knows is that he's going to cherish the blessing given to him for the rest of his life.
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letupabit · 2 days ago
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An alternative torment
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A/N: This pic takes place during the Thanos/Myung-gi bathroom fight scene, but for story purposes I changed up the dialogue and scenario :) This was so much fun to write! I tried to keep the characters as accurate as possible, sorry if it goes off course a lil! Hope you enjoy my lovelies!
Summary: Based off of a request from @saturnzskyzz, Thanos and Nam-gyu discover and exploit an entertaining weakness of the very person who brought them to the games- 'MG coin'. Ler!Thanos and Nam-gyu, Lee!Myung-gi (player 333).
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Unlike previously hosted games, the latest bout had implemented a new feature- the ability for players to choose to cut the experience short and go home with the money accumulated thus far, split equally between them. They had this opportunity after every game, a small mercy for those not wanting to leave the facility in a gift-wrapped coffin. To somebody outside looking in, the prospect of being able to leave with your life as well as a sizeable cash prize sounded like the perfect way out; however, a lot of the players who actually had to live this nightmare weren’t convinced.  For most of them, the shared amount wouldn’t even have been close to paying off their debts, and they’d already gotten so far- why stop now?
After every game, the lucky contestants who had survived would approach a podium with a red X to leave, and a blue O to continue. Once the player had made their choice they would be given a Velcro badge with their corresponding group, and were then free to return to their beds.
Thanos and Nam-gyu, two friends who had voted to stay, glowered at their voting teammate as the red light of the ‘X’ button illuminated his face. Thanos intuitively felt his hand come up to his blue badge, thumbing the seamed fabric. 
‘I can’t believe Min-su betrayed us like that, man’ he muttered, half to himself and half to Nam-gyu, who was glaring daggers toward the other side of the room. 
‘You know he only did it because of that bitch, Se-mi. I knew she’d mess things up one way or another’ Nam-gyu scoffed without looking away from his former teammate, who was trying his best not to catch his eye.  The fact Min-su stood facing away from him got the black-haired man even angrier- did he think he was too good for them now or something?
The rest of the voting went as smoothly as one would expect with a few hundred debt-filled lives on the line. It ended in a draw, much to the ‘O’ side’s favour, as this meant the games carried on. Neither team had actually won, and yet it was undeniable that the players who voted ‘O’ felt as if they had anyway.
But this wasn’t good enough for Thanos and Nam-gyu. 
They knew that after the next game, the votes could very well change. It wouldn’t be unrealistic for even one more player to vote ‘X’ and sway the minds of the other players who had previously voted to stay. The majority of people in the games were just scared and unsure, and it was more than likely that they’d side with the majority- herd mentality was a powerful thing in times like these. 
At least, this is the conclusion Thanos came to. He made sure to spread this ideology to his remaining teammates, and Nam-gyu, being the suck-up he was, went along with it without question. Between the two, they decided the best course of action was to corner Min-su in the bathroom away from the prying eyes of the guards in an attempt to get him to change his mind.
‘I’m sorry, boy!’ Shouted Thanos as he banged his fists on the bathroom stall of which Min-su was occupying. ‘I know you don’t really want this, right? One more game and we’ll be set for life’  Meanwhile Nam-gyu was hanging halfway over the walls of said bathroom stall. ‘Come on, Min-su. Just one more game, okay?’ he said with false sincerity- and then when there was no reply, ‘c’mere!’ And Min-su felt his heart drop as Nam-gyu started to climb further over the wall, reaching out for him.
He went to rush out the door, only to be met by Thanos who’d been waiting for him. He felt himself forced back into the stall, the purple-haired man cornering him as his friend watched from above. 
‘Look, I’m sorry if you felt pressured- but you shouldn’t have betrayed us like that. It really hurt my feelings- I’m so fucking ANGRY, man!’
Min-su held his breath, not knowing what was to come next- until he heard a voice from outside the cubicle.
‘Hey, what do you think you’re doing? Trying to get more votes by force, huh?’ Thanos turned around at this, coming face to face with the very person who brought him here- Myung Gi. Or, as he knew him, MG coin.
Immediately Thanos felt his anger at Min-su redirected towards Myung-gi. He wouldn’t even be in this situation if it weren’t for him and his shitty advice. 
‘What’s made you so bold, huh?’ He sneered. Meanwhile Nam-gyu dropped from his position atop the cubicle wall and went to stand by his side. Thanos continued, his body language stiff and hostile. ‘Tryna scam me again?’
Myung-gi scoffed and rolled his eyes. ‘It’s not my fault you’re here. Maybe if you didn’t rely so much on the words of others’ he cast his eyes toward Nam-gyu before looking back at Thanos, ‘you’d be in a better position right now’
Thanos seethed at this. How dare this poser insinuate anything about him? And the audacity to not even take responsibility for him having to play these games- which in his mind, was absolutely Player 333’s fault.
Min-su had slipped past the druggie pair, using the conflict as a distraction, making a quick escape completely unnoticed. Meanwhile, Thanos and Myung-gi were practically nose to nose, the tension rising by the minute. Nam-gyu stood behind his friend, prepared to jump into action; honestly, he’d been so bored despite the prospect of death at every corner. A fight that was practically a guaranteed win seemed appealing.
‘Come on, man. It’s two against one- and this time that old-timer isn’t here to save your ass’. Thanos remarked with a nasty smirk, feeling ten foot tall.  He’d been waiting to get his own back ever since he got here, and now there was nothing to get in his way.
Myung-gi felt a sense of unease and, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, fear. As stupid as these two were, it was true that there was nobody else around to help him out, and he didn’t fancy his chances if it came to a 2-v-1. His eyes darted from Thanos to Nam-gyu, both looking at him the same way a fox would look at a bunny. He swallowed thickly, the gravity of the situation setting in. 
But he couldn’t show fear. Not to these two. They’d tear him apart for as long as he had to put up with them in these cruel games. 
So he decided to bluff. Fake it till you make it, right?
‘Tch, whatever. I’m not wasting anymore of my time with you morons’ he brushed past them, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief as they allowed him to do so with surprisingly little pushback. Maybe they were all bark and no bite? ‘Especially a moron who forgets his own lyrics’
A hand grabbed him by the shoulder and span him round. Oops. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that

‘That’s it, MG coin’ hissed Thanos sarcastically. ‘I am taking you out of these games myself’ Behind him Nam-gyu looked giddy with excitement, although stayed quiet. 
Thanos shoved Myung-gi until he was up against the tiled walls of the bathroom, his face twisted with undeniable rage. He felt a flash of satisfaction as he caught a glimpse of genuine panic on Myung-gi’s face. 
‘Get off me you asshole!’ Shouted the former cryptocurrency trader, his hands coming up to push the furious man away. Thanos went to grab Myung-gi’s wrists, but in the chaos of the pre-scuffle he missed, instead unintentionally grabbing his sides instead. On instinct he made a squeezing motion with his hands, determined not to let this weasel wriggle his way out of this, a rush of adrenaline shooting through him as he saw a wince of pain on his opponents fac- wait. That wasn’t pain, that was
a smile?
‘What the hell is so funny, MG coin? Are you really that arrogant as to smile at a time like this?’ He squeezed his hands even tighter in an attempt to intimidate him and reinforce the fact that he had no chance of escape- but was he smiling again? Even bigger than before?
‘Answer me you bastard!’ His grip on Myung-gi tightened even more and this time he actually heard something that resembled a giggle. 
And then it clicked.
Thanos, without removing or loosening his grip, barked out a laugh of disbelief. Nam-gyu, who had also connected the dots, raised his hand to his face and chuckled into his fist, his eyebrows raised. 
‘No way, man’ Thanos turned to Nam-gyu as they shared an excited look. He turned his head back to his victim, who was cursing his uncontrollable reaction. The rapper had a sickening look of pure exhilaration on his face. In Thanos’ head, he had hit a gold mine. This was going to be so much fun

‘I can’t believe the savvy MG coin is ticklish’ Laughed Nam-gyu, his voice laced with malice. He wasn’t even trying to hide his excitement at this discovery. He went to stand directly to the side of Myung-gi, effectively boxing him in. 
‘Oh, MG, we’re about to have such a good time’ Thanos chuckled darkly. ‘Well, we are’  he used one hand to motion to himself and Nam-gyu, his other hand not moving from his victim’s waist. ‘You, on the other hand, probably not’
‘Why do you look so serious, huh? Go on dude, make him laugh again’ The black-haired man nudged his friend and watched in sadistic glee as Myung-gi’s attempt at a stone-faced disposition (although his anxiety was obvious) crumbled instantly under Thanos’ slender fingers.  The two pill-poppers couldn’t believe their eyes as Player 333 squealed and immediately grabbed at Thanos’ wrists.
‘Fuck, stohohop! STOP! Wahahaihit!’ Myung-gi felt his grasp of rational thought fall away as his panic went up a notch, resigning himself to the fact that these two psychopaths now knew about this embarrassing weakness. This was so humiliating.
Thanos narrowly missed as a flying kick came his way. ‘Aww, is that the best you can do?’ He buried his fingers deep inbetween Myung-gi’s ribs and clawed wildly, revelling in the frantic laughter of the younger man. This was far, far better than just plain old fighting. He was suddenly caught off guard as another kick came his way, this time very narrowly missing his shins. 
‘He’s tryna fight back, man. Can’t have him ruining the fun’ Thanos made eye contact with Nam-gyu, and although no words were spoken, he picked up on Thanos’ intentions immediately. 
Myung-gi laughed particularly hard as the purple-haired man hit an especially ticklish rib and that’s when Nam-gyu saw his opening. ‘down you go!’ He exclaimed playfully. 
The two druggies worked together to quickly incapacitate their opponent further, and before Player 333 knew what was happening, he was on his back looking up at the unhinged duo. The tickling had stopped for the time being and he finally had a chance to gasp in air, wrapping his arms around his midsection.
‘Alright, look, I’m sorry- no more, okay? Just let me go back to the dorm’
‘Awww, you’re not giving up that easily, right?’ Myung-gi felt his heart drop as the weight of Thanos straddled his waist, the purple-haired man grinning toothily down at him. 124 hoisted his arms above his head, his grip strong and unbreakable. Especially now that Myung-gi had been weakened by the tickling.
‘You’ve been a massive pain in my ass even before these damn games. We’re not stopping just yet’ 
‘Yeah man, you’ve fucked up’ Nam-gyu added, every fibre of his being flaring with excitement to take this guy apart in the most embarrassing way possible. ‘You really shouldn’t have let us find this out’ 
Myung-gi felt his panic renew, struggling under the two druggies as hard as he could. It was no use- he was utterly trapped, at the mercy of these hooligans. He wished as hard as he could that the floor would just swallow him up. Or that a guard would come to his rescue. Or literally ANYTHING that would get him out of here. When he realised strength wouldn’t work, he tried bargaining his way out.
‘I promise I’ll stay out of your way if you just let me go. My friends will be wondering where I am and they’ll come looking- so just save yourself the hassle and let me go now’ 
There was a moment of silence, and Thanos and Nam-gyu looked at each other with deadpan expressions. Almost like they were actually contemplating freeing him. Had he done it? Had he actually made them change his mind? 
However the silence only lasted a few seconds at most until they couldn’t keep a straight face anymore, and burst out laughing. Looking back down at Myung-gi, Thanos said- ‘Fine, let ‘em come. They’ll see you laughing your ass off like the ticklish little girl you are’ and then, with a shrug, ‘we can have fun until then’
And without any further chance of talking his way into freedom, Thanos slipped his hands under Myung-gi’s shirt and gently scratched at his lean stomach. MG coin attempted to hide his face in his shoulder, biting his lip to stop the inevitable giggles he felt making their way up his throat. The sounds forced out of him throughout this made his face even redder.
‘Look at him, trying not to laugh. Come on, MG coin! I’m not gonna stooop~’ taunted Thanos in a sing-songy voice. 
‘Try his ribs again, that really got him before’
‘Good thinking’ and with that, Myung-gi felt the light scratches travel teasingly slowly up his torso until they reached his ribs. He could feel the cold metal of Thanos’ rings scraping along his skin, which made the whole thing so much worse.
He couldn’t hold back his laughter after that, and his bullies grinned at each other triumphantly. 
‘Well, would you look at that! You were right, Nam-su’
‘Uh, it’s Nam-gyu’ 
‘Whatever’ 
The bickering pair went back and forth for a moment, as if Thanos wasn’t tickling a flustered Myung-gi into hysterics. He let out a high-pitched yelp as one of the rapper’s hands moved from scratching at his left set of ribs and up to the thin, sensitive skin of his armpit. 
‘awww, listen to him. Isn’t he just so pathetic? C’mon, MG coin, laugh for us!’ Thanos braced himself as Myung-gi kicked his legs, this time not in self-defence but as an outlet to relieve the overwhelming tickling sensations. 
‘Cute, isn’t he?’ Taunted Nam-gyu as he took hold of both 333’s wrists in one hand, using his other to knuckle his upper ribs. ‘Hey, I wonder if we can get him to beg?’
Myung-gi only just heard this exchange over his deafening laughter. He felt a wave of renowned frustration and anger. He wasn’t gonna beg these two idiots. Especially over something as childish as being tickled.
‘FUHUHUHUuhuhuCK YOHOHOHOU ASSHOHOHOHLES!’ His chest burned but he refused to show any further weakness than the embarrassing display he’d already performed. They weren’t gonna get the best of him.
Thanos and Nam-gyu gasped in pretend shock. ‘Did you hear that? Even in this position he still thinks he’s got the upper hand, huh?’ Thanos looked back down at Myung-gi, who’s eyes were screwed shut as he laughed uncontrollably. 
‘Shit, dude, looks like he needs some more’ declared Nam-gyu, now spidering his hand in the hollows of Myung-gi’s underarms. As if they had any intention to stop anyway. 
The spidering technique paired with the assault on his ribs was almost too much for Myung-gi as he felt hot tears sting at the corners of his eyes. Fuck, where WAS everyone? Usually the bathroom was privy to a revolving door of players coming in and out, and now- nobody? He didn’t know how much more he could take but his pride refused to allow him to beg.
That is, until the verbal teasing was taken up a notch. Myung-gi was usually a put together guy, but in his vulnerable state it didn’t take much to crumble his defences even more. 
‘A-tickletickletickletickle!’ Nam-gyu cooed in a high pitched tone, wreaking ticklish havoc on the former youtuber. He decided that MG coin had been sufficiently weakened and didn’t need his arms held down any longer, so he was now subjected to four lots of hands spidering and squeezing and scratching his most sensitive spots. ‘How much more are you going to be able to handle? You poor thing’ 
‘Don’t cry, dude. We’re not being that mean, right?’ Mocked Thanos in a sickly sweet voice, his hands rapidly squeezing up and down his victim’s sides. Occasionally he’d tweak at his hip bones which he found especially amusing as this would force a higher, more desperate laugh. 
‘AHAHAHAHAHA-FUHUHUHAHAHAHAHA! FAHAHAHAHACK!’ 333 was completely beside himself, his chest and stomach aching, cheeks burning from laughing so hard. He shook his head from side to side, trying his best to ignore the taunting. ‘Speak up, bro!’ 
Myung-gi swore internally (it’s not like he could speak coherently out loud, anyway) and knew what he had to do. The tickling wouldn’t stop until he buried his pride and
begged. Ugh, even the thought made him feel ill. But the fingers drawing firm circles in his sides were making him feel even worse.
‘PL-PLEAAHAHAHAHASE! PLehaahahahahahaAHAHA! PLEAAHAHAHASE! IHIHIHIHIM SOHOHOHOHORRY!’ The act of forming words was exhausting and felt impossible. His laughter became squeaky when he felt dull nails trace patterns into his neck and under his chin and he hoped that his pleas were enough to satisfy 230 and 124. 
‘One more time? Come on, give it all you’ve got or we’re not stopping!’
‘Hey, MG, what would your little girlfriend say if she saw you like this?’
God these two sucked. Like, really really sucked. It had already taken a lot for him to plead in a somewhat concise manner, and now he had to do it again? He took as deep a breath as was possible whilst being tickled out of his mind.
‘STOHOHOHOP! PLEAHAHahahahaAHAHSE! PLEASE PLE-AHAHAH-PLEAHAHAAHSE! FUHUHUHUHUHUCK! YOOHOhohoHOHUHU GOHAHAHATTA STOHOhohohOHOP!’
And then it was over. The tormenting hands stopped their assault yet didn’t move from his body. But the tickling had stopped. 
He didn’t even care that he was wheezing and gasping for air in front of the two maniacs- he was just grateful to be able to do so in the first place. He felt Thanos’ weight shift and he stood up, looking down at him still but now from an even greater height. Nam-gyu followed suit but not before another jab to 333’s armpits, making him yelp and curl up, earning a mean chuckle from the two. 
‘Wasn’t so hard, was it, MG?’ jeered Thanos. ‘And for the record, we didn’t have to do anything. We only stopped so we didn’t kill you- where would the fun in that be?’ With a sneer, 230 and 124 turned and left. Nam-gyu gave a sarcastic wave before disappearing round the corner, presumably to get high. What a pair of lowlives.
Myung-gi stayed laying down, still catching his breath. He listened as the smug chatter of Thanos and Nam-gyu became more and more distant. He’d have to keep even more of an eye out than usual after today.
Those bastards...
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genderqueerdykes · 18 hours ago
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About your "Men (including cishet men) welcome to interact" post
As someone who's most important/supportive person in their life is our dad, & we have (or just have meet) other men who has meant a lot to us or have been really supportive or even our role models, sometimes people hatred or just distrust they have and how openly rude they are about it just a lot sometimes. Obviously & Honestly there's a lot to be said here(about this topic as whole) but we are not able to(personal comfortability & actual writing ability). Thank you for being a blog that has been here allowing us to be able to explore, understand, learn our(& others) identities/experiences in world, not making us feel bad for the people who support us just because of how the judge based off of the same thing the rest of society shuns us for. (a side note because of your blog we were able to get the nerve and make the push to start T just over a year ago now. A lot of it due to the help and support we got from our dad, who despite us being an adult has financially covered everything for it and the rest of our health as we are also disabled and only recently have been able to work at all) Thank you for your time in just reading this if ya do.
thanks for taking the time to send this, i really appreciate it!
i'm tired of seeing hate for the sake of hate. hate solves very little. like being a hater sucks actually, it's not cool to be shitty to other people for no reason. it bothers me deeply that people refuse to accept that there genuinely are cishet men who are queer allies out there, and in fact, some of them are absolutely amazing queer allies. i've had friends who were cishet men and gendered me correctly after i came out to them. i've had cishet men stand up for me when someone questions my manhood.
nobody considers the fact that there are queer people that just might have a loved one, partner, or friend who is a cishet man. why would it ever be okay to openly show hate to someone who supports you? hell, how you even expect someone to respect your gender and your orientation if you hate them based off of their gender and orientation? profiling someone based off of their gender & orientation is quite literally what queerphobes do, and doing it to random cishet men who haven't hurt you will not make those queerphobes stop profiling you.
treating someone else like shit just because you've been treated like shit is passing your trauma on to someone else. you're bleeding on someone who did not cut you.
(a side note because of your blog we were able to get the nerve and make the push to start T just over a year ago now. A lot of it due to the help and support we got from our dad, who despite us being an adult has financially covered everything for it and the rest of our health as we are also disabled and only recently have been able to work at all)
first of all i'm so happy to hear that! i hope things have been going well for you with T, and i am genuinely so fucking happy to hear that your dad is so supportive. he sounds amazing i'm glad he wants to help you become the happiest version of yourself you can be. there really are supportive cishet men out there. some of them are dads, uncles, cousins, brothers, sons, friends and partners. there's no reason we should treat them like absolute shit when they support us. we need to love them just as they love us.
take care of yourself! thank you for sending this i really appreciate it! let me know if you need any help with regards to HRT! im always happy to help! good luck in your transition, stay safe!
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lovecharmforyou · 2 days ago
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. just asking this out of curiousity but
 any ideas or headcanons on Hyunju x Sangwoo 👀? If you do requests like that ofc. Can always request smth else.
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~hyun-ju x sang-woo headcanons/ideas~
this is my first time making headcanons! Sorry if the format isn’t perfect and kinda random haha. I had so much fun making this though hope u like. thanks so much for sending in this ask. I love that u fully made this ship btw I support so hard! Feel free to send In more asks!
— Sang-woo straight up offers to pay for Hyun-ju’s surgery 101 times but Hyun-ju is always too polite to accept money from him. Regardless, Sang-woo is always be willing to spend money on Hyun-ju- even if it’s his last 5$, in a second he’ll spend it on her
— Sang-woo lowkey wants to be a sugar daddy!husband
— When they first start getting to know each other, (outside the games) all Sang-Woo can do is buy Hyun-ju gifts with a quiet nod of the head when he gives them to her. It’s not him wanting to be the rich one showing off, or the powerful one of the two, he just doesn't know how else to show his affection yet. Its how he tries to woo her, but Hyun-ju ends up telling him she doesn't need the gifts or anything to spend time with him! She just wants to be with him
— Gift giving is 100% his love language and quality time is hersđŸ„č<33
— In the games together, his brains and her skills
 Them teaming up would be dangerous for everyone else, they could win every game so fast but- Hyun-ju would be wanting to save all these people and Sang-woo wouldn’t exactly want that, with every aspect he has to consider in each moment. But Hyun-ju knocks sense into Sang-woo and convinces him to help her help the rest of their team and friends they made on the inside.
— He’s smart, cynical and a little dark. So naturally he wants a very large portion of the money for himself, but he really takes into account what she says and softens up. Plus, he’d fold immediately and helps her with everything she asks of him after seeing how much she cares about these people and how they make her happy (and realizing how much he wants to make her happy))
— She helps him learn to be kind. She brings it out of him.
— Hyun-ju also brings out his protective side
— She brings out the best in him and he brings out the worst in her— the part of her that is seething with the world, and he sees that part of her and he loves every part of it. He wants to see the dangerous, strategic and tactical part (he sort of sees himself in her, although she is much more unconditionally nice), the spiteful part of her. But he also very much loves the overwhelmingly large sweet side of her. The caring and kind part that makes up most of who she is.
— Meeting in the middle of the good and bad parts of themselves, they use their skills together to win the games with the people they’ve grown to care about in there.
— After they’re out, he follows her to Thailand. Knowing how precious she is, how different and unlike anyone he’s ever met before, he'd never let her go ever again
— Late at night just two of them they’d smoke cigarettes on the beach and watch the stars twinkle
— Sang-woo would propose in a shockingly fast amount of time, under the bright moonlight of a full moon, completely silent other than the sound of waves washing up on the beach. The Intimate moment shared only between the two.
— (Hyun-ju totally cries and is a little bit in disbelief, but saying yes would be the easiest decision of her life)
— Him being so traditional, he puts a big-big diamond ring on her finger and absolutely loves it, as does she
— Their play-fights would turn into a real competition fast. At first, Hyun-ju would feign weakness and lose. But once she gets more comfortable around him, she'd let loose and let herself show her true strength and be her honest unapologetic self. She never thought it was possible to be so okay with being herself with another person. And to be so validated doing so. During their first “playfight” where she lets herself use more strength and technique, she surprises him and catches him off guard, pinning him to the ground. He looks at her in with a small expression of awe, while attempting to be as respectful as ever, he wouldn’t be able to hide the look of amazement on his face
— He's smitten with her strength, her mind, her abilities, to be kind, to be selfish. All of it, all of them.
— And she would love him the very same, and knock some much needed sense into this man
-
I <3 Hyun-ju x Sang-woo
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caruliaa · 1 year ago
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someone else when theyre in a thinking of someone as their best friend when they dont think of them that way contest and their opponent is me
#im such a champion in this catagoryy i thought i cldnt top myself but with the person i saw as one of my closest friends#and my best friend telling me im not their best friend and they dont want to be close anymore#im rly setting the world record in being stupid and niave enough to be so attached to#people while being needy and stupid enough for them to not be as attached to me đŸ˜»đŸ˜»đŸ˜»đŸ˜»#ykw im not doing it anymore! ill stil try to have close friends and ill make it something clear about me#so i dont do to anyone what was just done to me people know ill never think of them as their best friend before theyd ever consider it#but im not fucking. im not putting myself through being so attached to others just to get let down#and idc ik its soo sad poor sweet optomistic person we all love to have as a friend#so we can benefit from their kindness but wed never think of as closely as they think of us is gone#ik its soo sad for all of u tht im not just some stupid kindness spout that wont turn of anymore#but im just done with its not worth it. im always the one getting hurt and im done getting close enough to let it happen again#AND WHO GIVES A SHIT. NO ONE CARES. WHATS THE POINT#THE PERSON WHO I WANTED BY MY SIDE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE#DIDNT EVEN WANNA STAY BY MY SIDE FOR THE WEEKS LEADING TO MY STUPID BIRTHDAY#WHAT EVEN MATTERS ANYMORE. DEFINATLY NOT ME WHATS THE POINT#TELL SOMEONE YOUR MOST. THE TYPE OF THING THATS SO SCARY TO ADMIT TO ANYONE#AND THEY JUST GET RID OF YOU WHEN LIFE GETS DIFFICULT AFTER YOU OFFER TO MAKE IT EASIER#WHO CARES. who cares. whatever im so mad and scared and empty and upset and just#idl how im ever gonna get through this. its just too much to even feel or deal with#flappy rambles#vent
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lesbiansanemi · 13 days ago
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no â˜ș it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly â˜ș perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like
. 900 dollars
.. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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mymarifae · 10 months ago
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DUDE COME ON
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talentforlying · 1 year ago
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priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?
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constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...
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constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"
babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)
anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.
80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.
and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?
hm. i just don't know about all that.
#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD.#( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.#sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things#and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering#the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things#idk man. i think about this issue all the time#if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc?#it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize#in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate#ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me#i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there#he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with#idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now#bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was#and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse#and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy#scopophobia /#scopophobia#eye contact /#eye contact tw
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thats-how-i-like-it · 4 months ago
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/ vent
#man I hate being the expendable one#always the “odd one out”#the group I usually hang out and do class group projects with is conformed of 4 people not counting myself#and the teachers always want to make groups of four people#so of course I'm the one who gets put to the side#and has no choice but to make the projects and assignments with the rest of the people who don't have a group#who are usually fucking useless and I end up doing most of the work myself!#it happened to me in six grade#I had a problem with my middle school group and the teacher let me do all of the assignments alone for the remaining time#which was alright w me because there was no drama and just old reliable me to work with#then I did assignments with this other girl as a pair and it was nice actually#and then we got to the last year of high school and I was part of a larger group again and it was great!#the first time I didn't feel expendable in a group since- idk fourth grade?#but it was the last year of high school ofc so I graduated that and now I'm in college with the same old problem#and y'know it's not that I don't get it#I'm not their friend. I just hang out with them during college hours#and I don't want to be their friend either. I don't feel comfortable being that close with them#I don't consider anyone a friend for that reason. If I don't feel like I can open up to you then you are not my friend#so I get it it's fair I GET IT#I miss our first year at college. we were all the same amount of “close” to each other and there weren't any strong preferences yet#we were “us five” instead of “them four”#and it's frustrating because again. I don't want to be their friend#I just don't want to feel alone#or excluded...#and it's not like I can get in with other group because those are also already conformed as well!#*sighs*#I hate my stupid baka life#ray talks about.đŸ’«#vent#personal stuff
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rosicheeks · 10 months ago
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10, 27, 50đŸ„°
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nah. Like you said there’s infatuation at first sight.
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
Yes 😭 I’ve had a few poems sent to me on here either through anon, DMs or posting one and saying I’m the inspiration behind it.
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
That’s pretty complicated lol
#*maybe* if I let my hopeless romantic self take over I think (hope) there could be a spark at first sight?#where you see someone and you feel drawn to them and you have this weird feeling they’re supposed to be in your life??#who knows maybe it’s just in the fairytales but damn I want a fairytale love one day#but I definitely don’t think there’s a thing like love at first sight#love is much more than just seeing someone
 I just feel like that’s a shallow way of looking at it? and I don’t mean to disrespect anyone-#who does believe in love at first sight#I just feel like it takes time to fully love someone#I feel like to love someone means to truly know the person - to take the time to learn them as a person and to learn the good and the bad#and to fall in love with the whole person#I truly still can not believe people have taken the time to write me a poem#I genuinely get a little teary eyed whenever I think about it#I have a notebook (I lost it during the move but I’m sure it’s in one of the boxes) that I keep and write down any poem or sweet message#that I receive and then when I have a bad day I can look back at them#if I don’t find it soon I’m gonna start a new one cause I miss having that pick me up#LOL#that last question#I truly truly don’t even know how to answer that#short and simple answer sure I’d accept the apology but we wouldn’t get back together#a little side note I have a tiny feeling that it wasn’t true love but who knows#anywayyyyyyy thank you so much for the questions!#ngl I fell asleep shortly after I reblogged this and then the rest of the day I forgot about it đŸ€ŠđŸœâ€â™€ïž#but better late than never right? 😂#ask
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#ho hum they finally filled my prescription so ive now got the new medication#havent decided when im gonna start taking it tho. like i should start tomorrow bc i dont feel that great#i mean ive physically recovered from my allergic reaction debacle. my mood is generally just low. not like dangerously so. more like i#talk to ppl and im like oh im being a bummer. which i hate. so like i should start taking it#but im only here for like one more week before i fly home so im like. well ill b fine over the break bc no school#which is like yeah ill prob b fine but like even when im hanging out with family and being chill im not really happy. im just like not so#stressed but theres still like a cap on my mood so like maybe if i take it i can b like a human person. but like im still somehow resistant#which is dumb but like taking an old timey non ssri anti depressant feels different than taking an actual up and down mood stablizer#which is stupid bc im just getting freaked out by the word anti psychotic. and like grappling with the stupid voice#in the back of my head from growing up around the super health freaks in my family who r like: dont take medicine. dont trust doctors who#want to unnecessarily medicate u. but like im also worried itll work and ill just have to b on medication for the rest of my life#which is like fine but it feels weird to theoretically spend 30 dollars a month to be not miserable. bc idk the copay on this medication was#way higher than anything else ive had to get. but idk its dumb and i should just take it#but also a tiny bit a afraid of side effects after last time. i dont wanna deal with that :-[#unrelated
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