#THE NEW EPISODES RUINED MY LIFE

[festering-bacteria]

Confucius in my regular style + some other doodles

ALSO THE NEW EPISODES BROUGHT ME SO MUCH ANGUISH OH MY GODDD

[meow972]

:3c

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Truth and revenge is best served cold.

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[endlessnightarts]

ah, i see

Lestat isn't going to wake up due to some garage band music he's into

it's gonna be him chewing through the concrete to set the record straight that he would never fuck Armand and that little freak is lying

[psymachine]

which two members of the gang are running this scam selling this product next season?

[chimerabytes]

Fuck it if i dont fall asleep by 3am im going to go draw myself cuddling and/or kissing Ruin. I'll succumb to my oddly intricate dreams for now

[eggmeralda]

I need a massive sudden hyperfixation shock to happen again

[chaoticfandomthot]

Sometimes a show is so heartwrenching amd good that i need to finish it in one sitting

And sometimes a show is so heartrenching and good that if i watch it for too long at once i simply explode because it hurts too bad

[deathsmallcaps]

I’m going to rewatch the original Charmed, but after should I watch

[diegoshargrieves]

listening to my parents talk about me is so fucking funny. "she's dealt with us for so long that at this point she's done. she's mentally checked out from having to give a shit about anyone. can you believe how corruptible she is just because she's almost an adult and she thinks that we're not her problem anymore?"

like man you are literally so close. so fucking close.

[lorephobic]

i didnt get my dl ethubs thesis out in time for 3ls4 which is so sad but ive been so busy this week and i still dont even know how id want to organize my thoughts on the matter. but in the most deranged chronically online way possible, not writing up that post makes me feel like im going into the next season without closure from the last which i know is SO DUMB!!!! and yet

[invisiblerambler]

I want to just ramble about this so I'm not tagging it under the bear, but that is what this is going to be about.

The way this show defines and redefines and rips open ambition makes my heart hurt.

Yes this show is about a million and one things, but the portrayal of ambition is so singular.

I love the way that Carmy is past the point of even knowing why he wants what he wants, but he still wants it but almost every day he thinks about giving it up and doing anything else.

the innate pressure of being very good at the thing you want to make your career and not knowing how to handle that pressure. I could and have cried about it.

I think it's easy to write off the idea that there were high expectations for Carmy because he talked about not being good in school whatever, but to me he reads like someone that the second he showed talent in anything people we like wow this is the thing he's a genius.

He feels like a character that is incredibly intelligent that was not set up to succeed in the traditional school system, so anything else he showed interest in everyone jumped on.

There's a weird paradox of being the freaky genius child who no one can figure out why they're failing in school, not that I'm speaking from any level of experience.

I can't even fully explain the way that between Syd and Carmy the manifestations of my ambition feel so fully realized on this show.

I don't think either Carmy or Syd were given room to be anything except exceptional in their own ways. That is so much to put on a child, and their opposite reactions to that stress is amusing if it wasn't so sad.

It feels so overdone to talk about the pressure that puts on a kid, but this show feels like what happens when those kids don't burn out in adulthood. The thing they wanted continues to fuel them sometimes to their own detriment.

I have the most complicated relationship with ambition. Some days I want my dreams to come true so badly it already feels fully formed in front of me and other days I feel resentment for my own ambition so deep inside me I feel sick.

I came from a place where you weren't taught to want big things. I was encouraged just as much I was discouraged, and so much of the hopes and dreams of every adult around me rested on my tiny shoulders.

I felt it nearly every second of every day and I am still climbing out from that hole, trying to decide what I want and if I want it and negotiating with myself and losing nearly every second of every single day.

My dreams expanded when my world expanded, the possibilities grew as I realized that those who had encouraged me were right, their faith wasn't misplaced and I had something. Something I had to nurture, since letting it die felt like squandering something from the divine.

I'm still constantly uncomfortable with that gift. I fight screaming in my head as I attempt to nurture and squash out my gifts at the exact same time.

My intuition tells me that the discomfort I feel is because of the unknown. I am embarking on a path never set before. My trauma screams that this was all a waste, I dreamed too big, I set myself up for failure and the only way to remedy that is to return to my hometown in shame. A place I have no current ties to, but returning back to where I came from, in the year I have been away, feels like it would heal me, fix me, complete me.

Deep down I know it would actually just obscure the things I don't want to deal with. My trauma may have followed me across the country, but the perspective and clarity I have here is something that I have never possessed before.

There's a nakedness to being in a place where no one knows where you came from. You are an entirely new person here, and yet all of my trauma and shame and what feels like an inability to cope are louder here.

There is no geographical cure. I know moving back to the Midwest to self-sabotage over allowing for possible failure isn't a solution, it's a band-aid. Yet I want to welcome back the familiarity, I want to stand on the shores of a lake instead of an ocean, drive on two-lane highways instead of freeways.

I miss all the things I took for granted, I am happier here now, but the part of me I resented. The parts of me shaped by growing up there feel so present. I wonder sometimes if it's anything like withdrawal. I never understood homesickness growing up because I always resented the place I was supposed to call home, it was a slow poison. Now it feels like I would give anything for that poison.

Chappell Roan said once that she wrote The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess for all the people who knew they had to leave, but never wanted anything more than to be loved by the place they came from.

I haven't stopped thinking about it since I heard her say that because I had spent my whole life convinced I hated where I came from. That hating it was the only way I could ever live. Now I realize all I ever wanted was to be loved as much I loved it.

[synthient]

2nd watch, a few new details:

On the first watch, I was like "of course Owen couldn't go with Maddy the first time, her mom had cancer :(". But this time I caught that Maddy went missing "a few weeks" after Owen's mom died. Owen had nothing left to stay for. Maddy probably waited around for those extra weeks, just in case Owen had a change of heart. And yet,

The first time we see the dress flashback, it's through what seems like a relatively objective perspective. The second time we see it (as they walk to the grave), the memory has taken on the vhs-fuzz and aspect ratio of the pink opaque tapes. The real becomes unreal, an impossible fantasy, "kid stuff"

Happened to see a captioned screening this time, and the Tara from the streaming version is described as "Fake Tara."

The tv guide page Owen finds by the electrical field is for "season 6, episode 1: Escape from the Midnight Realm"

Mr. Melancholy and Maddy's ex friend who accused them of dykery ("like a secret agent sent to ruin my life") were the same actor

All the school hallway motivational posters are thematically relevant, but this time I caught the "the only easy day is yesterday" and "courage: without it, no other virtues matter" ones

You can see the emotional shifts between Owen and Narrator Owen in real time (ie, Owen looking distraught as the firefighters surround Maddy's tv, then dropping the expression and looking coolly into the camera as she starts to narrate again)

There's an interesting recurring thing where audio from the near "future" plays over footage from the "past." ie, we hear Maddy's planetarium monologue, while we watch Owen still walking to the school to meet them. Something about time not working right, something about Owen playing back memories that already happened, something about inevitability and walking down a path with a fixed ending

Void High School, or VHS

[aspecbuddie]

fandom isn't bringing me any joy at the moment this is concerning

[televinita]

Murray Gold music certified Iconic.

[cherrygirlfriend]

cuffing season pairing: reader x bsf!rafe synopsis: reader isn't getting enough attention from rafe, so she has the bright idea to cuff herself to him. warnings: smut, piv, unprotected sex, MDNI! - wc: 1.7k I’M BACK and better than ever. bpd has freed me from the shackles of my depressive episode and i remembered i’m a hottie. thank you for the request, this was *chefs kiss*

every man smarter than a fifth grader knows one thing for a fact; women thrive on attention. when you ignore a flower, leaving it in the shade, unwatered for days, it wilts up and dies. and you may have well been a gardenia in your past life with how much attention you required. and you? you were definitely wilting up.

it had been two weeks since you last saw rafe; you'd texted him, trying to make plans, but he kept saying how 'busy' he was, or telling you to buy something nice, and it'd be "his treat". what use were cute clothes and sexy lingerie when there was no one to show them off to?

to be fair, he really was busy. you preferred to keep yourself in the dark when it came to rafe's business, simply humming a song inside your head when he talked business with someone while you were sitting in his lap, but you knew he spent most of his time cooped up in his father's old office, but now, he was barely answering your texts, and you decided enough was enough.

so, one night you decided to surprise him. to help him... destress.

you put on one of the new lingerie sets you'd gotten on rafe's dime, wearing nothing over it but the classic/cliché beige trenchcoat, a surprise in your pocket.

you got out of the uber in front of the cameron household, your heels clicking against the cobblestone as you walked up to the door. normally, you'd ring the doorbell, but not wanting to ruin the surprise, you took the key rafe had given to you for 'emergencies', in this case it really was an emergency. you felt like you might die if he didn't touch you.

kicking the heels off your feet when you got inside, you looked around; the house you'd spent time in ever since you were both kids was always so strange in the dark. and now that rafe was the only one living there, the house felt... lifeless.

as you tiptoed up the stairs, you were starting to hear rafe's heated voice, sending shivers down your spine, a small heat in the pit of your stomach starting to spread as you got closer to the door, slightly ajar.

"i don't fucking care what you need to do, just get it done!" he shouted, and you could hear the springs of the office chair, before a breathy sigh left his lips.

"rafe?" you said softly, the man you were looking for startling straight in his chair, looking at you with wide eyes as you stood in the crack of the door.

"oh..." he let out a breath, relaxing again, "it's just you."

"wow!" you scoffed playfully, "what a nice way to greet me." you said as you made your way into the room, walking closer to him, a small grin starting to spread on his lips.

"what are you doing here?" he asked, looking up at you, bringing one of your hands to his lips, pressing small kisses to the back of it, "did i miss a text telling you were coming? if i did, i'm sorry, i've been on the phone for the-"

"shh." you moved your hand to cover his mouth, rafe's brows raising in amusement. "i didn't text you."

he took your hand away from his mouth, "ah, so a surprise visit. well, i hate to disappoint you, but-"

the moment your coat hit the floor, his jaw seemed to be doing the same, the smile on your lips only widening further as you spun around for him, pretending to show off the lingerie instead of tempting him.

"what do you think?" you smiled innocently, "you told me to get something nice, your treat, so i did. i thought you'd wanna see it. oh, by the way, the coat was also on you."

"shit..." his hands found your hips, and you could hear him swallow as he watched the way your ass curved around the thong. you turned your head to look at him, noticing the growing bulge in his pants, "if i didn't have to finish this right now... the things i'd do..."

you turned your body around fully to face him, a small frown on your face as you brought your arms in front of your chest, his hands still resting on your hips. "rafe cameron, you have a half-naked woman standing in front of you, and all you're worried about is work! i need attention too!"

rafe let out a breath he felt like he had been holding in for the past two weeks, "baby, just give me thirty minutes to finish-"

but you didn't even give him three seconds. before he'd even noticed anything, you'd grabbed the pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs out of your coat's pocket, cuffing one around rafe's wrist, and one around yours, the man looking at you with wide eyes.

"what the hell?!" he exclaimed as he stood up, now cuffed to you.

"no 'thirty minutes', no 'fifteen minutes', no more minutes!" you exclaimed, now looking up at him, "i've been missing you for two weeks, and if you make me wait one more second to have your lips on mine, i'm never letting you touch me aga-!"

before you could finish your sentence, rafe had pulled you to his chest, his lips crashing against yours, his lips conveying the yearning he'd been feeling for the past two weeks, mixing in with the yearning you'd felt, pure electricity transferring between the two of you, his body melding into yours, his erection pressing against your.

when you finally pulled apart, the harsh breaths you were letting out mixing in with his, your bodies, and a string of saliva still connecting you.

"you have no idea how much i've wanted you..." he breathed out, causing you to let out a small chuckle.

"me? you have no idea how much i've been craving you."

you pushed him until he was sitting in the chair, the springs of the office chair squeaking, rafe's brows lifted in surprise. you bent slightly to pull down the sweatpants he'd been wearing with your free hand, before you settled yourself onto his lap, feeling his erection through his calvin kleins.

"oh? are you taking control?" he asked in a playful tone as you ground yourself against his bulge, causing him to let out a groan, his a small wet patch already forming on his boxers as you continued grinding yourself against him.

you'd spent the past two weeks needily humping yourself against a plushie rafe had given you, watching videos you two had taken together, and even though you were only grinding your clothed cunt against his clothed cock, you knew that your moments spent alone had nothing on the moments you got to spend with him.

"i need you..." you whispered into his ear, tugging down his boxers, rafe letting out a small hiss as his erection was freed, your lips sucking on the sensitive spot on his ear, a beautiful whimper leaving his lips.

"i need you even more." he said, in turn tugging down the panties you were wearing before his free hand went to your tits, cupping and squeezing them through your bra.

"wanna bet?"

you brought your cuffed hand to his, rafe's free hand on his cock, gathering some of the wetness at your entrance with his tip, and you could picture it mixing in with his precum as he brought the tip of his cock to your entrance, and he was so close, but somehow it felt like you were both in whole different universes.

"i'm sorry..." rafe mumbled, intertwining your fingers, "i promise i'll pay more attention to you... i've just been so busy..."

"i don't ca-"

your sentence was interrupted when you felt his tip enter you, both of you letting out similar groans.

"fuck... has your pussy somehow gotten even tighter, huh? it feels so nice n snug around me, baby..."

"maybe she's just missed daddy..." you sink even further down his cock, rafe letting out groans that were so similar to the first time you two ever had sex, his eyes fixed on you as you sunk lower and lower on his cock until you felt him right there, causing you to let out a gasp.

"looks like she has..." rafe chuckled, bringing his free hand to your hips, as well as the hand intertwined with yours, "you wanna help daddy, hm?" he chuckled, but you were too drunk on the feeling of him in you, under you, around you, to even react to his teasings, so rafe started to move you on his cock, helping you with his hips and his hands.

soon, you were bouncing on his cock without even really realizing what was happening. his cuffed hand was still intertwined with yours, both of them pressed against your hips, as his free hand held onto you, rafe basically guiding you on him, at least until his free hand moved closer to your tummy, his thumb pressed against your clit, slowly circling it, but even without his guidance, your hips knew the rhythm, knew exactly what to do.

your head was thrown back, completely lost in the ecstasy, rafe's touch the only thing you could feel, every time the head of his cock hit your cervix, every circle he drew on your clit with his thumb, and before you even realized it, you were moaning and practically panting his name uncontrollably, the squeeze of your wall around his cock causing rafe to let out grunts as you felt the knot in your stomach finally coming undone.

but as rafe continued fucking up into you, you knew he was nowhere near done with you.

"how does three orgasms sound?" rafe chuckled, lifting his hips with slightly more vigor, the man hitting your cervix right in the middle of your orgasm, squeezing your cuffed hand. "that enough attention for you?"

taglist: @lacydollette @starkeysprincess @rafesfawn @nemesyaaa @littlelamy @drewsephswife @rafeycameronsgf @snowtargaryen @cameronsprincess @ursovaine @jjslaybank