#THE LAST SENTENCE IN THE FIRST SET OF PICTURES WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CUT OFF

[jennicatzies]

Can you draw father Garcia and father Allred on a date

ANON IM SO SORRY FOR GETTING TO THIS LATE

ANYWAYS I couldn't. Cook up anything thats like. Them on a date exactly but the implications are there i think

[number1jeonginstan]

A/N: Ngl, this was supposed to be a drabble… Anyway, I was listening to 2nd gen K-pop while listening to this, which is so counterintuitive because I was vibing to Gee while writing some of the craziest smut I’ve written in a while. Anyways, hope y’all enjoy <333 Answers 🥟 anon's request!

Minors don't interact, 18+

Pairing: Roomate Perv!Hyunjin x Perv!afab Reader

WC: 3k (oh!)

Warnings: Pervy reader and Jinnie, unprotected sex, m!masturbation, f!masturbation, use of vibrator, call reader names (whore, slut, good girl, ect…)

Your window cracked ever so slightly, allowing you to feel the spring breeze, but not enough to allow bugs and pollen to infiltrate your room. Your clock in the corner of your room was clicking away as the seconds passed. The only thing on your mind was what you were going to order for dinner. Before you could even shout out to your roommate, asking him what he wanted to eat, he barged into your room. The door ricocheted off the stopper causing you to look up. 

“What do you want to eat Hwang?” you asked, turning around so your back was touching your bed. He knew it was your week to order food, but that wasn’t what he was here for. “Just get whatever, I’m not picky”

Before he could even continue, you cut him off, stopping him mid-sentence, his mouth hung open.

“Dude, last time you said that you threw a 45-minute tantrum of how ‘it wasn’t what you wanted’ and made me order a whole separate dish, only for you to eat mine because you were hungry and didn’t want to wait that long.”

“Hey, if you got it right the first time, we wouldn’t have been in that situation” he huffed, jumping on your bed, causing you to lift a bit. 

He was wearing a black hoodie and some gray sweatpants, per usual. His new eyebrow piercing was right in your face as you turned to him. He chuckled, stealing your phone, and looking through the options to eat from. 

Turning around so your breasts were pushed against your bed. They were slightly spilling out from your tanktop, but it was too warm to care. You didn’t understand how your friend wasn’t burning up in his outfit, but you didn’t care enough to ask. 

“So, what are we getting to eat” you asked, trying to take your phone back from his grasp, but he stopped you. 

Damn him and his weirdly long fingers that no man should have. “I was thinking, beer and chicken? It’s simple enough and we still have some cans left over so I won’t drain your bank account” he grinned. 

You simply nodded, telling him to order it while you went to the bathroom. What you didn’t know was that wasn’t all Hyunjin did. A couple of weeks ago, when he asked to borrow your phone to send pictures of himself from a party the two of you attended with the rest of your friends, he saw pictures you took of yourself, in the cutest set he’s ever seen. 

He knows that he constantly sees you in your short clothes all the time, but something about you wearing a pink lacy set had him weak in his knees. He came twice just thinking about it, the image burned into the back of his retinas. 

He needed to see it again, so while you were doing your nighttime skincare routine, he went through your phone trying to find the photo. What he didn’t expect was there to be multiple angles and even multiple sets. He felt his cock harden in his pants, trying not to groan at the sight of you in barely anything. 

He quickly took out his phone from his hoodie pocket, making sure that you weren’t out yet, and airdropped himself the photos, so there wasn’t any evidence of what he was doing. 

He put his phone back in his pocket and exited out of your photos app just in time. You came out of the bathroom, your hair pushed back with a bunny hair band, whilst tossing one to him. “Come on, you know the drill” you giggled as he took off his hoodie, revealing his toned stomach and navel piercing.

He had gotten it with his eyebrow piercing after Jisung had dared him to. You were there for the entire thing, not expecting him to actually go through with it, but for some reason he did. It looked good though, so you weren’t going to complain. 

He eventually put on the headband, after a minute of his dramatic sighs and protests. You knew he could never say no to you. You giggled at him, realizing how silly you both looked, but not complaining. 

You pulled at him, trying to drag him off your bed so the two of you could watch a movie in the comfort of your living room. 

The layout of your apartment was a bit off. Your rooms were right next to each other, and you both had your own bathrooms and walk-in closet. Which was nice, especially due to how much money the two of you spent on clothes. 

Your living room was much smaller than others, connecting to your kitchen, but the two of you didn’t complain. It was homey and perfect for the two of you, and for the rest of your friends whenever they came over for your week’s movie night. 

You both finally made it to the living room after Jinnie complained that “your bed is too comfortable” and “How am I supposed to leave if Sergent Bingo doesn’t want me to?” 

You giggled at that, knowing how much he loved the stuffed animal that lived on your bed that he had won for you at the fair the first year of living together. 

“I think he will live, plus we can bring him with us if it means so much to you!” 

He just sighed as he got up, wrapping his arms around the stuffed bear and muttering about how Bingo didn’t appreciate being moved from his habitat. 

“You are such a big baby” you giggled, sitting on the couch next to him, wrapping a blanket around your body as you attempted to find something for the two of you to watch. 

“Am not” 

“Are too”  

Before he could rebuttal, the doorbell rang, causing you both to turn your heads. “Foods here” You got up, throwing the blanket at his face, laughing at his shocked expression. 

You got the food from the delivery man, thanking him for walking up all the steps to your apartment. “What did you order again?” you yelled from the kitchen, getting paper plates and beer cans from the fridge. 

“I got those cheese balls that you always fawn over, then just original and galbi because we both like that” 

You got back to your seat, cracking open one of the cans of beer as the two of you began to watch a K-drama that Seungmin had recommended, Move To Heaven.

Two episodes in, and the two of you were sobbing, the food was gone, and the beers that were previously in your hands were splayed across the table. 

“I can’t believe that happened to him, what did he do to deserve this?” you sobbed, hugged Hyunjin who was also on the verge of tears. 

“I mean, who kills them off the first episode, like he did not need that happening to him” he said, hugging you back. 

“I think that’s enough for today,” you said, wiping the tears off your face as you turned off the TV. Hyunjin threw away all the boxes and plates as you collected the blankets, folding them and putting them away in the storage closet next to the living room. 

“Good night, sleep tight!” you said to Hyunjin as he began walking to his room. He bid you a good night as well, laughing at the way you were holding Sergent Bingo above your head as you entered your room. 

Little did either of you know that you were in fact not sleeping tight.

You had taken out the vibrator your friend had gifted to you for your birthday, making sure it was fully charged before pressing it against your clit. It was small, but it did the job perfectly, always leaving you satisfied. 

You usually never got off when Hyunjin was home, but you had been so pent up for the last month, that you just had to do something about it. You couldn’t wait any longer, you removed your shorts and underwear in one go and began to tease your slit. 

You could feel the cool air hitting your legs and cunt, the small hairs on your legs sticking up at the sensation, but you ignored it, the only thing on your mind being Hyunjin. 

The way he looked today, the way he smelt. You would think a grown man wearing a bunny headband couldn’t be hot, but you were wrong. The way he licked his fingers, trying to get the sauce off them, all you could imagine if that was how he would eat you out.

Would he suck on your clit like he did his fingers, how would they feel inside you? You thought back to his grey sweatpants, the way you could see the imprint of his dick against them, causing you to rub your thighs in front of him. You prayed that he didn’t see you, but if he did would he help you?

You could feel yourself getting wetter at every passing moment, your finger rubbing against your clit. It wasn’t enough though, you needed more stimulation or else you wouldn’t be able to get anywhere. 

You turned on your vibrator, allowing the low hum of it to overtake your room. You began to slowly press it against your clit, low moans escaping your lips as you press it harder onto yourself. You tried to keep quiet, but it felt so fucking good, that you didn’t notice the moans escaping your lips. 

But Hyunjin noticed, he could hear each moan escaping your lips. He was devouring each one like it was a hymn. He could feel his cock getting harder, straining against his boxers and sweats, it isn’t weird that he’s hearing you right?

If he just happens to jerk off right now, it wouldn’t be weird, right? He just happened to feel the need to get off at the same time as you. It wasn’t your moans that were making him this hard. 

That’s what he kept telling himself as he pulled his cock out of his boxers and sweats. He began to languidly stroke his cock to the sounds of your moans, using the pre-cum leaking from his tip as lube. 

He slowly pulled out his phone, looking at the pictures that he had airdropped himself earlier. Were you wearing the set you had in the picture, were you lying down like this, all pretty with your legs spread out just for him? 

Would you be able to take his cock, or would you whine that it’s too much, how your tight little cunt couldn’t take it? 

His body shivered as he could feel himself getting closer, but it all stopped when he heard another broken moan escape your lips.

“Jinnie-ah” 

He couldn’t believe it, you weren’t moaning his name. It was just his imagination until he heard it again. The whimper that escaped your lips as you moaned out his name. 

“Hyunjin, fuckkk” 

His body went rigid, he quickly got up, dressed himself, and pressed his ear against your shared wall. He needed to hear you say his name again. He had to make sure it was his name you were moaning. 

You couldn’t cum, it wasn’t enough, no matter how much you tried. You were so pent up, you needed to cum, but you just couldn’t, so you began crying. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to fuck yourself with your fingers as your vibrator was still attacking your clit, but it wasn’t enough. 

That was til you heard your door creak open, there you saw Hyunjin. You tried to cover your body as fast as you could, but he didn’t let you, ripping your blanket off your body, leaving you in just your tank top. 

“Such a fucking whore, moaning my name. You were just begging for me to hear you, right baby? Poor little thing can’t cum by herself, she needs my fingers, doesn’t she?”  

You just nodded, no longer feeling ashamed, feeling the need to cum. “It’s okay baby, I’m here to help. Sometimes whores can’t get off by themselves, that’s why you need me”

He got on top of you, his knees pressed into your bed, trapping your thighs between them. He kissed your lips, nibbling at your bottom lip before moving his lips down to your neck, sucking at your skin. 

“Who do you need baby?” he asked, removing his lips from your neck, running his finger against your slit, feeling how wet you were.

“Need you” you whined underneath him as his finger pressed against your clit. “Then why were you using this instead of coming to me?” he asked, holding up your vibrator. 

“Is this better than me?” he asked, pressing his finger against your clit, causing you to moan. “Come on baby, you can’t be this dumb?” He asked you again, slapping your face slightly, sticking his thumb in your mouth, causing you to suck. 

“It’s okay, I can make you cum like the whore you are” he chuckled before taking his finger out of your mouth and began to finger your hole. “Fuck you are so tight” 

“Mhm, only for you Jinnie” you moaned as he began to thrust his fingers faster into you, adding another one. Your walls were clenching around him. “Look at you, so close to cumming. Can’t believe you were using this flimsy little thing. Should we see if it really works?” 

Before you could even comprehend what was going on, he turned on your vibrator, pressing it against your clit. 

“FUCK!” you moaned, you felt like you were so close to cumming, it only took Hyunjin another curl of his fingers in your cunt to make you cum around his fingers. Your body was convulsing around him, your thighs enclasping his hands. 

“Ah ah, you are going to take my cock baby. Why do I think I prepped you? Moaning my name like the fucking slut you are. You are the one who caused this” he whispered into your ear while dragging your hand to his pants, allowing you to feel how hard his cock was for you.

He flipped you around while pulling down his own boxers and sweats, throwing them somewhere in your room. You took a look behind you to see his cock, and your jaw dropped. He was huge in length, not as much in girth, but his cock was so pretty. 

His tip was pink and leaking precum while he had multiple veins running alongside his cock. “How is that going to fit?” you whimpered, “Don’t worry, I’ll make it fit baby.” 

He slapped his cock on your ass before sliding the tip along your slit, causing you to moan. He lifted you by your hair, wrapping it around his hand, causing you to cry at the sharp sting. “Look at my cock baby, fuck, have never felt this fucking hard in my life. You are gonna make me feel good aren’t you baby? Going to take my cock like the good girl you are” 

“Yes, gonna take your cock, gonna take it so well” you whimpered as he pushed the tip inside of you. 

“Feels so good” you moaned as he let go of your hair, your head loling on the side of your pillow. 

“Fuck baby, barely have the tip in and you are so fucking tight. Can’t wait til I make you mine” 

He slowly began to thrust his cock into you, adding an inch at a time. But as your walls clenched around him, he lost all of his patience, thrusting his cock deep inside of you.  

He slowly took his cock out of you, leaving only the tip in, only to thrust back into you with full force. 

“You planned this didn’t you?” he asked, as he continued to pound into you. Your face was deep in your pillows, your voice muffled, so he yanked at your hair, causing you to moan.

“Speak when you are spoken you slut” he slapped your ass, causing you to moan. “You planned this didn’t you, the photos of you in your camera roll. You moaning my name so loud the entire floor could you” 

“What if I did?” you said giggling. This only enraged him more, causing him to thrust into you faster. Your hair was still in his hand, your back arched against his chest.  “Such a fucking whore, making me think I was a pervert when you orchestrated everything.” 

“Just wanted you, are you that mad at me” you whimpered as he took one of his hands to rub your clit. 

“I could never be mad at you baby, you know that” he kissed your neck before letting your hair go, your face falling back into the pillows. He lifted your hips a bit higher, causing you to scream out his name, which was fortunately muffled by the pillows underneath you. 

“I can feel you baby,” he said, feeling the way your walls were clamping his cock “cum for me baby, cum on my cock and take my cum like you’ve always wanted to” he said, kissing your back. 

That was all you needed to cum on his cock, he used one of his hands to muffle your screams, not wanting to wake everyone up. It didn’t end there though, he continued to rut into you, chasing his own high. 

“Please Jinnie, too much can’t take it anymore” you whimpered underneath him, but that didn’t stop him. He needed to cum, he needed to mark you as his. “Fuck baby, you can take it, just a little more there we go” 

He came with a moan, filling you up with cum and making you squirm underneath him. He kissed your lips before falling next to you, pushing the hair out of your face.

“I hope that was okay,” he said, looking at you a bit ashamed. 

“Okay? That was amazing, I think that’s the hardest I’ve ever cum in my life” you said, kissing his lips. “The only thing I think is not okay is Sergent Bingo, his poor innocent eyes” which caused you both you laugh. You both wrapped your arms around one another, falling asleep in each other’s embrace.

[marie-swriting]

Baking Therapy - Emily Prentiss

Masterlist

Summary : Emily has a lot of things in mind but she can always count on you to notice it and make her feel better.

Warnings : set in season 12 so mention of Reid in prison, hurt/comfort, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 1.8k

French version

Song inspiration : Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift

Still in her office at the BAU, Emily finishes the paperwork about the last case with tiredness in her eyes. She fights the sleep off as best as she can to have the strength to go through Reid’s case once she’ll be over with this one. However, the fatigue takes over her body a bit more when she yawns loudly. Emily stops writing and closes her eyes while stretching, hoping to feel more awake. As soon as she thinks she is better, Emily takes her pen and resumes writing her sentence. When she finishes it, someone knocks on her door. Without looking up, she lets the person come in. Hearing Rossi’s voice, she draws her attention to her colleague. 

“You’re done ?”

“Almost. I just need to complete some passages.” she informs, pointing at the file.

“You’ll go home soon then.”

“No, I want to take a look at Reid’s file.”

Upon hearing Emily saying this, Rossi sighs before getting closer to her desk.

“Emily, it’s 9 P.M. I thought you were supposed to spend the night with Y/N.”

“I told her I’d come home late.” Emily specifies and Rossi gives her a look. “What ?”

“You should go home.”

“And I will. I just want to find something to help Reid first.”

“Look, I want the kid out of prison as much as you do but you won’t be of any help if you pass out on his file. Go home to your wife and get some rest. Like this, you’ll be able to work better.” David orders, putting his hand on her shoulder.

“Sure but-”

“No ‘but’. Trust me on that. Finish this file and go home.” he insists.

“I will.” Emily concedes, sighing.

“Have a good night Prentiss.”

“You too, Rossi.”

Once Rossi is gone, Emily doesn’t waste a second and gets back on her file. The last period on the paper, she glances at Reid’s file on her desk then at the picture of you two. She wants to listen to Rossi’s advice yet she wants to take advantage of every second to help her friend. However, when she yawns until her jaw drops, she has to accept the fact she needs to rest. Reluctantly, she turns off her lamp desk, takes her bags and leaves the building.

On the way home, Emily pays more attention to her driving, aware of her level of tiredness. Upon arriving at your place, Emily sighs in relief. In the elevator, she stretches her neck while checking her phone. As soon as she opens the door of your apartment, a smile makes its way on her face whilst she puts her bags on the ground. You’re in the kitchen humming the refrain of Eternal Flame by The Bangles, Emily goes to join you and as she gets closer to you, she finds you making fresh pasta. Emily wraps her arms around your waist and puts her chin on your shoulder. As soon as you feel her, you’re slightly startled then you turn your head towards her. You peck her lips and focus back to your pasta.

“You’re home early.”

“Rossi convinced me to leave.”

“Remind me to send him a text to thank him and to reprimand him, too. I wanted everything to be ready when you come home.” you explain, smiling.

“It’s okay. What is it that you’re making ?”

“Pasta alla carbonara alla Rossi.” you exclaim, trying to say it with an Italian accent. “I know, I mispronounced everything.” you add while Emily holds back a laughter.

“It was cute.” she affirms, kissing your cheek. “You need help ?”

“No, thanks, I love my kitchen too much.”

“Hey ! I’m not that bad.” Emily says, offended and she tickles you.

“You’ve improved, I have to admit.” you tell her whilst continuing to cut the pasta. “You have time to take a bath and put on some comfy clothes. Go !” you order and you push her toward the bathroom.

You’ve just finished cooking, when she reappears in the kitchen. Emily’s hair is in a bun and she wears leggings with one of your tee-shirts. She sits at the table and you put the food on the plates. At the same time you set the plates on the table, Emily pours you a glass of wine then another one for her.

Whilst you’re eating, Emily asks you about your day. You tell her about your class and some funny sentences your six-year-old pupils told you, she laughs at some of them. As you keep talking, you notice she does everything to avoid talking about her day, but you don’t say anything about it. You know Emily needs some time before explaining the horror she sees in the field. Guessing it was a pretty tough case, you distract her until the end of your meal.

Once you’ve cleared the table, you see on Emily’s face she won’t be sleeping, despite how tired she is. Her brain is working too much to allow her to rest. You give her a compassionate smile before taking her hand in yours. Emily smiles at this contact.

“You want to bake some muffins ?”

With your sentence, Emily understands what you’re insinuating : “you want to bake while we talk about what’s on your mind ?”

It’s a habit you’ve naturally picked on. The first time you did ‘baking therapy’, as Emily calls it, it was at the beginning of your relationship ; you had been dating for a month and that night, the case had been hard emotionally speaking. When she came home, she found you baking a strawberry charlotte. She helped you with it as much as she could while she was explaining what she was feeling. The baking moment ended up in tears though, Emily felt better afterwards. Therefore, it quickly became your tradition and currently, Emily needs a lot of ‘baking therapy’.

After taking all the ingredients, you start baking the muffins whilst Emily weighs what there is to weigh and hands them to you when you need it. At first, Emily stays silent, lost in her thoughts. You notice it right away because she doesn’t hear you the first time you ask her to give you the flour. You give her a few more minutes before asking the fateful question.

“You want to tell me what’s going on in your mind ?”

“I’d need more than some muffins to tell you everything that worries me.”

“Fortunately, we have a whole day off in common tomorrow. For once. It’s your last case, isn’t it ?”

“It was a tough one, yes. Everytime I think I’ve seen it all, a new UnSub proves me wrong. You know you’d think I’m used to it by now but it’s not the case. No matter how much I try to be emotionally distant, sometimes it’s complicated.” she admits with sad eyes while handing you the sugar and the baking powder.

“It’s not the only thing.” you add and Emily avoids your gaze for a second.

“I can’t stop thinking about Reid. We’ve been searching and still, we can’t find proof Scratch is behind all of it. If Spencer could remember what happened in that motel, it could probably help us. Besides, I can’t help but imagine Spencer in prison and how it must be complicated and it breaks my heart. He needs to get out of it and I have to admit I’ve been wondering if we’ll be able to do it this year.”

“You’ll find what you need to help him, Emily.” you affirm, putting your hand on the top of hers.

“I hope. Either way, I won’t be resting until he is with us again.”

“Em’, don’t forget to not overwork yourself.”

“He needs my help.” she steadfastly contradicts. “I should be doing more, I feel like I’m not doing enough.”

“It’s not true and deep down you know it. You’ve done everything you could and you and your team are still helping him. But Emily, you have to rest. You won’t be able to efficiently help him if you’re exhausted. I know you go through his file when you can’t sleep at night.” you confess and she looks at you, frowning. “The parquet floor creaks when you get out of bed.” you add, laughing lightly before mixing together your preparation. “Emily, I’m sure you’ll find a solution for Spencer. You’re the best BAU team, I don’t care if I’m not objective for saying this. The fact is, you will clear his name. I have faith in you guys. I have faith in you. And stop doubting your skills, you are a good Unit Chief.” you state looking her straight in the eyes. 

“You’ve known for too long.” Emily falsely complains while you beat the egg whites until stiff. 

“And knowing so many profilers helps too. I’m serious though, Em’. It’s true you have a lot of things to handle, the cases, the new responsibilities as Chief, Reid’s case with Scratch, it’s a lot of pressure and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed but do not think you don’t have the skills to deal with all of it. I know you and if there’s one person who can handle it, it’s you.”

“You always have the perfect words. Thank God, you’re here.” she smiles and she gives you the chocolates chips. “Without you I wouldn’t be able to feed myself properly.”

“Am I only useful for this ?” you question, faking being offended whilst you mix again.

“No, I couldn’t have dreamed of a better wife. With you, I can be vulnerable without feeling bad about it so thank you.” she says softly and kisses you.

Emily butters the tins then you fill them with the mix. You put the muffins in the oven while Emily sets the timer, not without stealing the rest of the preparation at the bottom of the bowl. You put the dishes in the dishwasher before sitting on the couch. Emily’s back is against your torso and your arms are around her body. You stay like this in silence, enjoying each other’s presence. Sometimes you whisper sweet nothings, wanting to make sure her mind is free from all the stress before falling asleep.

Once the timer rings, you tell Emily to go to bed whilst you take the muffins out of the oven. You let them cool down and go change in your pyjamas. As soon as you’re ready, you go to your room to ask Emily if she wants one muffin or two and when you see her fast asleep, you smile. You make sure every light is off and the main door is locked before making a detour to the kitchen. You take a small plate and put a muffin on it then you go find your wife in your bedroom. You set the plate on her night stand and lay next to her. As soon as you’re laying down, Emily’s arms find their way to your waist. You get closer to her, kiss the crown of her hair before closing your eyes, Emily’s regular breaths, lulling you to sleep. 

Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[october-faye]

The penultimate episode of Partner Track. The show has barely taken off, and now it has to stick its landing.

Ingrid drops by Nick's place to return the engagement ring. She looks like she's dreading the conversation. Not to rub it in (but also to totally rub it in), I'd like to ask her if this confrontation is easier than simply breaking up with him weeks ago?

She explains to Nick that she and Jeff have a history.

Girl!

👏 You 👏 slept 👏 with 👏 him 👏 once 👏 six years ago, never learned his name, and never saw him again. That's not history. That's barely a footnote. Look, I just summed up the entirety of it in one sentence.

Nick calls Jeff dark and tortured (LOL) and tells Ingrid to ask herself why she always chases the storm (LOL).

Jeff is not 'the storm'; he's that drizzly piss weather we get in London. Or maybe he means Ingrid's love life in general? Still not seeing it.

Nick tells her he'll have her stuff shipped over to her.

In case this is your last scene, Nick... uh... sorry. You did not deserve this shit. But also, you and Ingrid dated for a matter of months, and you can do better than a woman who's only sort of into you.

Opening credits.

Ingrid is at her apartment, microwaving a meal and looking sad. She must be missing Nick's cooking. But she forgets about all that when the doorman rings and asks if Jeff can come up. She says 'yes' and hurriedly tidies.

Jeff has bought dumplings (I suppose they were out of egg salad sandwiches?) but he sees Ingrid is already eating some. So I suppose he learned her preferred foods off-screen?

He tells Ingrid that he's cooled things off with Victoria, and she tells him that it's 100% over with Nick. They kiss.

The two actors are excellent screen kissers, by the way. It's an easy thing to forget about until you see actors who can only smash their mouths together in a way that just looks like assault.

Jeff and Ingrid agree to keep their relationship a secret in the office. Jeff reminds her that she jumped him in that same office. They giggle some more.

Cut to a montage where they walk past each other at work, eye-fucking so intensely that I'm surprised Ingrid doesn't get pregnant on the spot. Now I'm imagining the beautiful but insufferable and stupid baby they could make.

Seriously, everyone in the office has eyes. They'll see you two touching hands in the corridor as you pass each other. Do you think you're the first ones in the firm to have an affair? I shudder to imagine what a black light would reveal in your offices.

In the overly long montage, they hang around Ingrid's apartment while she dances sexily for him and strips before they have sex. They also make out in an elevator. These two only wish they were Meredith and Derek from Grey's Anatomy.

I'm making fun of them, but I do buy that they're having a lot of fun. It's a shame there weren't enough episodes in this season to let their early love affair play out more slowly so we could see what they're like as a couple when it's not all steamy looks and slow motion fucking.

The montage (finally) ends, and they're in bed. The dialogue tells us it's been a week and that Ingrid is going to a deal closing ceremony. Ingrid tells him there are three slots for Partner at the firm, and she thinks it'll be her, him and Dan who get it.

Jeff agrees and hands her a gift - it's a pretty diamond necklace with a rose pendant, (which is a callback to Rosecliff, where they met). Ingrid is touched, but she's still sad that she hasn't patched things up with Rachel and Tyler. Jeff tells her to give them time and keep moving forward.

They talk about ambition and Jeff tells Ingrid she lives for the gold star. She asks Jeff about his parents' expectations. Jeff tells her that he was the parent. He cooked and took care of his little sisters. His mother was mentally unwell (it's implied she was an addict due to their circumstances and the abuse from his father) and she set fire to a picture of the two of them because she said it had demons in it.

I like getting some backstory for Jeff, but again it's all tell and no show. They could've given him any other backstory, and it wouldn't matter because it isn't reflected enough in his behaviour. In fact, I half-suspect he might be lying about everything. I just don't know.

It's not the actor's fault. The writers waited too long to give us anything to care about with Jeff. But even this just feels like a set-up for the inevitable implosion of their relationship by the finale.

I do like these two as a couple, sort of. Which surprises me, because I wanted to murder Jeff in episodes 1 through 4, and intermittently thereafter.

If this had been better written, we could've had a solid enemies to lovers story. I've found it easier to find gifs on Tumblr for Paralegal Justin and Rachel's love story than for either of Ingrid's love interests. The side pairing was getting more fandom attention than the love triangle the show based a chunk of its marketing on. Whoops.

[cinemastyles-blog]

Private Affair [h.s] | 2.

Warnings: wine consumption, flirting while married, some swearing

Word count: 5.3k

"I got the job!"

"Shut up. No fucking way." Sage says on the other end of the phone, "Are you serious?"

You start your car and take a deep breathe, pausing as that's the first time you said it out loud, "I got the job, yes. I start tomorrow."

You shake your head as Sage releases her excitement as your phone connects to your car.

"When I went to meet with him.." you pause as you start driving, "He was yelling to, what I assume, he thought was Jake a-"

"Yelling? What do you mean?" She cuts you off, "Like about you or?"

"No no, we'll.. kinda I guess?" You shrug and stop at the red light, "He didn't have any luck with the first two, from what I gathered. So, he was just yelling about how he hopes the last one isn't an idiot like the others and when he turned around and saw me... his whole demeanor changed."

"Like he fell in love with you." Sage teases with a laugh, "Did you tell him that you're married?"

"Of course I did." Your eyes flick to your ring and back to the road as you let out a quiet sigh, "Only after he asked me if I was."

"You didn't just tell him?" She asks, "What di- how did that go about happening?"

"So he told me to tell him about myself and I went on about what I studied in college and he said that he already knew that and to tell him about me."

She laughs, "Of course he already knew that, that's probably why he picked you to be his assistant."

You shrug and pull into your driveway, "Yeah, probably. But I just froze, my mind went blank and I as I was sitting there, frantically trying to think of something quick to say, he asked me if I was married."

Sage stays quiet for a moments, "And?"

"I don't know, Sage. When I told him that I was, it was almost like- no I don't even want to go that far." You put the car and park, shaking your head at the thought of what you were about to say.

"Um no. Finish your sentence, please."

"Almost like.. a look of jealousy spread across his face? I don't know. He didn't look happy, I mean he tried but I don't know." You rest your head on the headrest, "What did I get myself into?"

There is a slight pause before Sage starts talking, "I mean, this interview does kinda seems like one straight out of those movies, but I wouldn't worry too much. You were made for this job and he knows it."

"Yeah." You blow out air, "He did say he liked me though, I don't know. It feels, comfortable with him. oh!" You snap your fingers, "He pretty much told me some of his life story."

"Wow. That's- I mean, he seems like a very private person, I mean I was doing some digging and you can't really find anything on this guy." Sage sighs, "What was his life story?"

"Just about him growing up and moving around. He's British, did you know that?" You bite your lip as the sound of his voice repeats in your head, "It's very nice."

She groans, "Goddamn. Please tell me he isn't married."

"Nope, single actually. Told me that himself." You wait for the words you know are about to spill out of her mouth.

"Set a girl up, y/n. What are you waiting for?" Sage laughs, "But no. Seriously. Give him my number, show him a picture, something."

"Yeah, yeah. I will." You roll your eyes and smile.

You want to tell Sage about what you partially told Harry but you decide to box that up and ignore the fact that you even said anything about your marriage with Alex.

"I have to call Alex and tell him, I was actually supposed to call him right after but-"

Sage cuts you off, "I know. I'm the best." She laughs, "Call me later or something. Love you."

"I will, love you." You hit the red circle and let out a sigh as you run a hand over your face, slightly embarrassed in yourself, "What the hell."

You get out of the car, pulling your bag onto your shoulder as you call Alex.

The line rings a few times before he answers, "So?"

You can't help but smile as you unlock the door, "Tomorrow morning, seven thirty."

"You got it!?" Alex asks with excitement, "Y/n, baby! That's amazing! I knew you were going to get it." He yells to his office members, "My girl is the assistant to the CEO!"

You hear the office cheer for you and you laugh as you walk in, setting your bag on the counter, along with your phone that's now on speaker, "Thank you, thank you."

"I'm so proud of you." Alex starts as you lean down to undo the buckle on your ankle strap, "I love you, now call Sage and tell her because we're going to celebrate."

You make a face when he says to call Sage because you already told her, oops.

"Okay, yeah. I will. Do you want her and I to just meet you somewhere?" You grab your phone and see you have a text.

You furrow your brows as you click on the unsaved number,

Can't wait to show you around the building tomorrow. Have a good night, see you around 8.

You tilt your head as you tap the screen,

You: Is this Harry?

You zoned out as you wait for a response, "Baby? Y/n. You there?"

You blink a few times and tilt your head up, relaxing your face from being scrunched with confusion, "Yes, sorry." You laugh slightly, "I was texting Sage and telling her to her dressed."

"It's okay." Alex chuckles, "I'll just meet you somewhere after work. Just text me."

"Okay. I will. Love you."

You zone back out reading the text message,

Yes it is. Sorry, love. I should have told you that.

You smile and walk over to the couch,

You: It's okay. I can't wait to see you show me around tomorrow and assist in anyway I can.

You totally meant that as professional as possible.

You smirk and set your phone down, "Oh shit." You pick your phone back up and call Sage, "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Hey get dressed. Nice. We're going to celebrate." You get up and grab your phone as you walk to the bathroom, turning on the shower, "Alex is going to meet us there."

Your eyes move to the top of your screen when you see Harry's name pop up. You smile, "I'll come over whenever I'm ready."

"Okay. Sounds good. I'll get around. Are you wearing a dress?"

You purse your lips and tilt your head, trying to picture an outfit in your head, "I'm going to wear probably jeans and a cute top? I don’t know.”

“Okay, so nice casual! Got it! Bye!”

The line goes silent and you get a shower and finally decide on the outfit.

You got so busy getting around that you didn’t look at your phone until you were texting Sage.

Harry: I definitely have some things you can do for me.

You feel weak in the knees, honestly.

You close your eyes and sigh. Resting your phone by your side, “No. no.” You try and talk yourself down, but you honestly feel like you need to answer him.

You: Alright, see you tomorrow.

“There. Simple.” You bite your lip, kind of hoping he answers.

But it seems like he got the hint you honestly didn’t want him to take. You sigh and throw your phone into your purse and dig out your keys.

You leave your apartment and make your way to pick up Sage.

── •✧• ──

“Cheers, to y/n. Who not only worked hard to get where she is, but to also where she is. To the new journey at her dream job.” Sage clinks her glass to yours and Alex’s glasses.

“Yes, to y/n!” Alex grabs your hand as He sips his wine.

"Thank you." You smile and look at over at Sage, "Thank you."

You enjoy your dinner and a few glasses of wine, talking about what you think the potentials of working for Harry might be.

"Oh shit." You gasp quietly as you look down at your wine splattered blouse, "I'll be right back." You look around for the restroom sign and head towards it, mumbling to yourself as you shake your head glancing down.

"Whoa."

Your eyes go wide and lips part and you freeze and look up as you see Harry standing there, his hands still on your elbows, "Y'okay?"

You nod slowly before blinking, "Sorry." You laugh slightly, "Yeah, I was um.. on a mission."

You close your eyes, embarrassment setting in quickly.

"Mission?" Harry asks with a chuckle.

You open your eyes quickly and look down, tugging at the fabric of your blouse, "Yeah. To see if I can get this from setting in."

Your eyes slowly trail up his half unbuttoned shirt as you look back up at him. You bite your lip as you see his eyes linger on more than just your wine stain.

His eyes move to yours quickly and he nods, "I'll leave you to it. Good seeing you, y/n. See you in the morning." He gives you a wink and flashes a smile before walking around you.

It wasn't until the bathroom door closed that your realized you remembered you were tending to your stain.

You quickly run into the bathroom, grabbing a paper towel as you walk by. You go to the sink and run cold water over it, "Please come out."

You let out a scared whimper, "I really like this shirt."

A few moments later, the door open and Sage walks in. She looks at you before walking and looking to see if anyone else was in the bathroom.

"I can't get this out, sage." You groan, "Fuck me."

"Was that Mr. CEO that walked out of that bathroom?" She asks completely disregarding your statement.

"What?" You look over at her, "Was it him?"

She nods and smiles, "I'm pretty sure." She sighs, "That's insane." She leans against the counter, "You should introduce me."

You're in the clear, if she saw you talking to him, that would have been the first thing out of her mouth when she came in.

"That's kind of weird." You laugh, "I haven't even worked for him yet and I'm already throwing a woman at him."

You didn't want to sound jealous, but let's be honest, you really wanted Harry to yourself.

She tilts her head and nods, "Yeah. No you're right." She stands up and turns around to apply more lipstick.

She puckers her lips and blots them together, "If it's meant to be, it'll happen on its own." She glances over at you, "Don't worry about it. You got most of it out. You can soak it when you get home."

He grabs the paper towel from your hand and throws it away, "Now, come on."

You sigh and let her pull you with her back out of the bathroom. She drops your hands and pulls her top down, "Just in case we see him."

You roll your eyes and as nonchalant as possible, pull yours down too.

You look up quickly and follow behind her as she starts walking. Your eyes can't help but to look for him, you're honestly kind of baffled.

What are the odds that Harry would be here the same night you were?

You sit back down at the table and Alex reaches over, pulling your shirt over more to hide your cleavage. You clench your jaw but down say anything.

You force a smile and talk about the stain, "So I got most of it out. Probably could have gotten it all out of someone did rip me from the bathroom."

You turn the attention to Sage, and she laughs, "We're here to celebrate. Not worry about some little wine stain in the bathroom away from everyone."

You laugh and sip your freshly poured glass and something tells you to look left. Your eyes move over and you look behind Sage.

Your heart feels like it's about to cannonball into your gut.

Harry has his eyes on you and he shakes his head as his tongue sticks out to wet his lips.

You want to look away but you can't. He's so mesmerizing, so pretty.

"Y/n." Sage waves a hand in front of your face and you focus back on her, "You okay?"

You nod and set your glass down, "Yeah I zoned out. I think five glasses is enough for me." You push your glass back and look up at Alex, "I need to be up early, so I think we should wrap this up, if that's okay."

Alex nods, "Yeah, no. Of course, babe."

You probably weren't going to sleep tonight anyway, you just had to get out of there before you did something you might regret.

You stand up, facing Harry's direction as you pull your blouse back open. You glance at him and smile before walking with Jade and Alex.

His eyes never leave you. Not until he can't see you anymore.

You had a feeling you were going to get a text tonight, and if you're being honest, you're hoping for one.

── •✧• ──

"Thanks for coming, Sage." Alex says as Sage gets into your car. She turns and smile, "Thanks for inviting me."

He nods and looks at you, still smiling, "I'm so beyond proud of you." He pulls you in and hugs you, "You okay to drive?"

You nod, "Yeah, I'm good." You look up and leans down, pressing his lips to yours, "I'll see you at home." He nods, "If you need me. Call me."

He leans back, "I love you."

"I love you." You close your eyes as he kisses your forehead and reopen them as he walks away. You walk to your car and get in, starting it.

"What a bummer?"

You look over at Sage with a confused look on your face, "What's a bummer?"

She looks over at you, "That I didn't see Harry again."

You're married, y/n, you remind yourself as you feel your body sense, married to Alex.

Jade goes on and on about Harry and you partially tune her the whole way to her house to drop her off.

"I don't think it's crazy." You put the car in park and look over at her, "Going for Harry? If I wasn't married I would." The words felt sour coming off of your tongue.

She laughs, "Yeah, I kinda feel bad for you. Having to work with him all day and I mean Alex isn't a bad guy at all. He's good looking too."

You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, "Thank you." You force a laugh, "Thanks for that."

She laughs and pats your shoulder, "It will be okay, I promise." She opens the door, "Thanks for taking me with to celebrate. I'm actually so proud and really excited for you."

You smile at her and nod, "I know. I'll say something to Harry about you."

Her eyes light up, "Yeah?"

"Yes."

"I love you. Okay bye!" She waves as she walks to her house, flicking the light on once she got inside.

You back out and start heading home.

Your phone dings and you sigh, "Yes. Alex, I'm coming home." You mumble as you read the phone screen.

Alex: Just made it home.

You stop at the stop sign to text him back, letting him know that you just dropped off Sage. You toss your phone down and it dings right away.

"Oh my god." You groan as you yank the phone from the seat again.

Harry: If I was Alex, I'd want to show off what's mine.. But, that's just me. I hope the celebration went well. You looked beautiful tonight, y/n.

You look up from the text and chew on your lip. You keep a tight grip on your phone as you drive home.

"Hey, baby." Alex says getting up from the couch. The tight grip on your phone eases up as you drop it into your purse, "Hey, honey."

He gently kisses your lips, "Go shower and get cozy. You need to relax before your big day."

You nod and smile, walking away into the bedroom to gather your pajamas. You grab your phone out of your purse and freeze as Alex calls your name.

"Yeah, babe?" You call back.

"Green or your apple cinnamon tea?"

"The apple please!" (Sorry if you're allergic to apples)

You make your way to the bathroom and close the door behind you. You turn the shower on as you go back to Harry's message, rereading it a few times to take a few moments to process what he said.

You bring your other hand up and your thumbs start tapping,

You: Not anything I'm not used to. It was alright until I saw you. You made me actually regret not staying home, so thank you and you looked good yourself, Harry.

You close your eyes, flipping your phone to silent as you let out a sigh.

This doesn't feel wrong.

You just know that if Alex or any wrong person gets a sniff of the fire you're playing with, it's over for a lot of things, and believe it or not. You do actually care about your husband's feelings, and you really don't want to hurt him, but you also already feel so connected to Harry in some weird way.

You strip down and feel the water, making it the right temp before stepping in. You bring your phone with you and rest it on the shelf in the back corner.

As you're washing your hair, your phone goes off and your heart starts to race.

You rinse your hair calmly before reaching and grabbing your phone. You huff as the Face ID doesn't work and you have to type in your code.

"Finally." You whisper as you tap on Harry's message,

Harry: I'm so sorry, love. You can dress how ever you want. I'm sure you'll look fantastic in anything. I actually went out with a pal of mine, to celebrate you, actually. We'll, more or less the fact that I finally found an assistant I know for a fact I'll like.

Reading his texts make your heart flutter, you have honestly never felt happier.

There's a knock on the door, snapping you out of the happy daze you we're feeling, "Yeah?" You say quickly, locking your phone and peaking out of the curtain.

"You okay, baby?"

You close your eyes, slightly frustrated that you can't shower in peace, which you're not usually like.

Deep down you had a feeling that this job is going to change you. For the better or for the worst? That's the question that you're just going to search yourself and find the answer to.

"Yeah, I'm almost down. I'll be out in a second!" You lean back in and pull the curtain, "Okay, just making sure."

You look at the time and you raise your eyebrows, "Shit." You whisper lowly as you realize you've been so focused on Harry that you forgot to actually shower.

You look around and decide to just shave your legs and wash your face when you get out.

You go back and quickly type an answer back to Harry,

You: I pre bought outfits because I had a feeling I was going to need them, so I have some cute ones to wear. Aww, Harry. That's so sweet of you. I promise I'll do my absolute best for you.

You grumble to yourself as your shave your legs.

Once finished, you get out, and wrap a towel around you. You wrap your hair up in another one and wash your face.

All you can think about is Harry and what tomorrow will hold. You catch yourself every now and then daydreaming about having sex on his desk, and he has a pretty nice, sturdy lookin' desk.

You put on your pajamas and walk your stuff to the bedroom. You lay your phone down on your side of the nightstand and walk out to Alex.

"Hey." You smile and sit down next to him, "Oh thank you." You take the mug from his hands and sip it, humming as you take another.

"I don't know how you drink that." He makes a weird face at your tea and you laugh, "Oh stop it. Don't hate on me." He laughs and rests his hand on your thigh as he starts the movie.

You were supposed to unwind but apparently missed the memo because all you can think about is how it would be if Alex was Harry instead.

As the movie plays, you remain in the cycle of beating yourself up because you think of Harry. Reminding yourself it's wrong and that you are married to Alex, but then you go back to thinking of Harry.

"I think." You yawn and cover your mouth, "I think I'm going to go to bed babe." You swing your legs off of Alex's lap and stand up.

"Yeah, I didn't realize how late it was getting." He places his hands on your hips as he stands up, "Let's go to bed."

You make your way to the bedroom, pulling back the covers as you tap your phone. Your eyes shoot up to Alex, who sitting on the end of the bed scrolling through his phone, "They're opening up a new coffee shop down the street, y/n. We'll have to check it out."

You flip your phone over quietly and climb into bed, "Oh yes. I love coffee shops."

He sets his phone down and lays down next to you, "I know you do." He lays his arm over your body and pulls you closer to him.

You sigh and you turn onto your side, getting as comfortable as you could, "I'm so nervous about tomorrow." You lie, you weren't nervous at all.

You were excited to be with Harry.

"You will do amazing, tomorrow, y/n. And if that CEO is an asshole to you, I'll say something to him." Alex moves his head around on the pillow as he speaks, "You're the best, and if they don't see that, then screw them."

You laugh, "Thank you, Alex."

"Mhm, anytime."

It wasn't long until Alex was snoring.

It felt like forever until he rolled off of you so you could move over onto yours side more. You try to convince yourself not to check your phone again.

But Harry's message sat there, taunting you. You had to know what he said, so you sit up and grab your phone slowly and quietly.

You glance over at Alex, who is now rolled away from you, and look back down at your phone,

Harry: Can't wait to see them, and y/n. I have no doubt in that. Goodnight.

A smile sets on on your lips and you can smile at how much confidence Harry has in you. You glance over at Alex and your smile slowly fades. You wished he had that much confidence in you.

And you're not talking about with the job.

You look back down and chew on your cheek as you type,

You: Goodnight, Harry.

You kept it simple. You felt good about it.

You really didn't expect him to answer you since it was close to midnight. With how pretty he is, he definitely gets his beauty sleep.

You were just about to doze off until you heard your phone vibrate gently against the stand.

You clench your fist, silently cursing yourself because you want to sleep but you want to see if that was Harry.

You sigh quietly and grab it, instantly rolling your eyes as you see it's an Instagram notification, but you instantly regret that when your phone unlocks and you see it notified you because Harry has followed you.

You smile and click on it, laying back down as you hit follow back. You scroll down through his profile, admiring every pictures that he took the time to post.

There's one picture and it makes you clench around nothing, "Fuck." You say almost silent. You raise your eyebrows, seeing that there is more shirtless pictures of him.

The banner drops down from the top of your screen,

Harry: Liking what you see?

You tap it and laugh quietly,

You: I can ask you the same thing

You bite your lip, shocked at how bold you're being. You lay your phone on your chest and rest your hand on top. You stare at the ceiling, waiting.

Your phone buzzes, and you decide to wait a few minutes before you look.

Harry: Is your answer the same, too? Because I am in fact, liking what I see.

You close your eyes and smile,

You: Yep. Still the same.

It was at this moment, you knew you needed to go to bed. So, you turned your alarms on and set it on the stand.

Forcing yourself to go to sleep.

── •✧• ──

It's five a.m when you wake up the next morning.

You head towards the bathroom, checking your phone but seeing no message from Harry. Maybe he had the same idea as you?

You shrug and lean over to turn the shower on. You lean back up, looking in the mirror. You stare at the bags under your eyes, laughing slightly as you take off your clothes.

You bite your lip and go to Harry's messages,

You: Good morning, Harry. I'm going to leave a little early and stop for coffee, would you like a coffee?

You rest your phone down and get in the shower. You do your regular routine, a little bit quicker today, and get out.

After drying off, you grab your phone, staring intently as you read the text,

Harry: If you would like, we can walk to the coffee shop down the street? Since it's Wednesday I like to get everyone a coffee to start the day.

You tilt your head, "Aww." You whisper and cover your lips, "That's so sweet."

You: Sounds like I need to wear shoes that won't kill my feet.

You smile as you walk back into your bedroom, using what little daylight you have creeping through the curtains to shift through your outfits.

You pull out the black and white striped blouse and black cropped pants. Smiling as you remember how good this looked on you in the dressing room.

Alex won’t like how much cleavage can be shown but awe well. You’re working for a popular magazine company now, and this is what they wear.

You put on your outfit and walk back into the bathroom to do your makeup. You decide to keep it simple, like you did for your interview.

You press your lips together and inspect your face, giving a nod and going to find shoes.

You’re going to be waking, so you don’t want to wear a heel that’s big and embarrass yourself in front of Harry.

You pick through your shoes and you hear Alex stir awake, “Mm, babe. What time is it?”

“Almost six.” You say as you continue to move shoes and pair them, “Just gotta find shoes.”

“Don’t you have to be there at seven thirty?” He sits up, groaning as he stretches.

“Yeah, but morning traffic and all.” You hold up a pair of shoes, “Ha! Yes. I knew I still had them.” You kick your feet out from under you and slip them on before standing up.

"I'll call you.." you walk over to him and sit down beside him, "After work." You smile and lean in to kiss him.

He presses his hand against your cheek as he kisses you back, "Have a good day. You got this."

You nod and sigh, "Okay." You stand up, "I'll see you later, babe." You grab your phone off the dresser and walk out to grab your purse.

You make sure you have everything before grabbing your keys and heading out.

The drive to work was alright. You felt more excited the closer you got, so that's a plus.

Right?

You pull up to the building, taking a deep breathe before getting out of the car. You hold onto your purse, so tight that if you move your hand there is probably sweat.

You make your way to the door and pull, stepping inside of the building. You smile as you look around and walk to the desk, "Good morning, Jaime."

"Good morning y/n." She smiles up at you, "Oh.Here." She hands you a badge, "Mr. Styles wanted us to make this for you." She sits back down.

Your eyes glaze over the badge before you clip it to your pants pocket, "Thank you. Have a good day." You smile at her one last time before you walk over to the elevator.

Once on the floor, you make your way to the office.

"Good morning." You smile as you walk in.

Jake smiles and stands up, "Y/n, right?" He holds his hand out and you take it, "Yes, that's right."

He nods, "Good morning, y/n. I have unlocked Harry's office, so you can go in." He sits back down, picking up where he left off with writing.

You go to walk into Harry's office but you stop and turn around, "Why does he need me if he has you?"

Jake looks up and chuckles, "I'm here for the paperwork and pretty much the big stuff that could possibly take up too much of his time." He laughs dryly and shakes his head, "you're his personal assistant, but he is a good man, y/n, so don't worry."

You smile, "I won't." You walk into Harry's office and shut the door behind you, stopping to take a minute as you breathe in being at your actual first day at Alluring Mag.

You set your bag down as you walk over to the window, and look out over the beautiful city view. You hear the door click, so you turn to look and Harry walks in with a smile, "Let's get started, shall we?"

── •✧• ──

Thank you for reading Private Affair.

Chapter 3 | Masterlist

[anonymousad]

an unbiased review: the Among the Stacks crowdfund

if you would like to follow along, or if you for whatever reason do not trust my screenshots of the campaign: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/among-the-stacks-season-1#/

this is going to be very long and I apologize. but when I thought about leaving out some parts to cut it down, it didn't feel like I was doing due diligence in communicating the full picture and providing constructive feedback and critique. I think I have some good notes in here for general things to keep in mind for anyone asking publicly for money to fund their passion project.

so. let's get into it.

The Campaign Video

this is the first thing you see on the page, displayed prominently at the top next to the title and goal.

but before it even starts, why is it a full 10 minutes long??? this is your elevator pitch opportunity, you need to get to the point and make your case before someone clicks away. because unless I already care I am not sticking around for 10 minutes to hear you say the same thing I can read for myself if I scrolled slightly down the page. (that's not even mentioning that any video which is exactly 10:01 long just makes me think of how youtubers pad video lengths to hit the time requirement for putting ads in the middle)

but anyway, let's talk about the video itself.

first up: the content

cut. it. down.

10 minutes is an egregious length for what is supposed to be a video that grabs attention and funnels people into taking the time to read the rest of the page. it is not meant to be a video version OF said page. even 5 minutes would be pushing it in most cases, and the most important information needs to be in the first 2. that means the elevator pitch for your story, ideally 1-2 sentences, and then an explanation of what you are asking for and why. it is fine to set the tone with an excerpt or thematic prose, but keep it BRIEF.

there is no need to spend nearly 3 minutes of the runtime playing samples of your most famous actors for clout. especially when you barely touch on the 12 people that are part of the crew .

touching on various perks of the different tiers is good, as is reiterating the goal amount, but it would be nice to have visuals to go along with the more interesting and complicated sounding ones. the visuals that are included are lackluster and the small amount of shown art is way too obscured by the "copyright" watermark.

finally: why the fuck is the last minute and forty just music. no, seriously. almost 2 minutes of time wasted for the sake of what? fade that shit out after 10 seconds and end the video, I'm not here to listen to your theme tune, I'm here to learn about the project.

also, don't use "Kickstarter" as a general synonym for "crowdfunder". it is confusing and will make people forget how to actually find your campaign.

second: the quality

you are making an audio drama, yes, so producing nice videos isn't your end goal. but it DOES still matter and is a reflection of the care you put into your work. if I like the video, then yeah maybe I go and check out the actual content you've released on the Among the Stacks feed. but your feed isn't embedded at the top of this page. your feed isn't the first impression I'm going to get of your production quality. this is.

we could nitpick how the transparent logo on the library background makes the text unreadable, or how the cast announcements aren't lined up properly with the visual transitions, or how more than one take was definitely needed because some of the stumbles are extremely noticeable. some of the issues are visual only, but there are plenty of problems with the audio itself in this video, which is especially suspect when what you are asking money for is an audio project.

so when the opening voiceover changes to a more informal description of the project, why does the quality go to shit. the first part sounds like it was recorded in a properly treated space with care for removing background noise and reducing echo and reverb. in the second, I can constantly hear birds and there was a fucking discord notification at the 1:45 mark. most bafflingly, it's the same exact voice (I assume showrunner Nigel's), so HOW can the quality be this inconsistent??? I'm not looking for fancy, I'm just looking for the bare minimum in quality for something like this.

all this tells me, is to expect inconsistency in your product. if I give you money am I going to get the treated professional approach or the slapdash one? this video is the way you are demonstrating your quality to prospective backers; you provide no other examples directly on this page so THIS is what you have presented as an acceptable representation of you and the project as a whole.

this shit matters, it really does. ESPECIALLY when you are asking for $21,000 dollars. which leads us to...

The $21k Goal

with names this prominent in the AD space attached, I did have an expectation of a somewhat higher goal than I've seen on recent smaller projects. but I was not expecting the actual goal to be this ridiculous.

let's compare this number to another high profile project that happened last year: Re:Dracula (https://seedandspark.com/fund/re-dracula)

off the bat, you can see that this project raised about $24k on it's own, but if you scroll down to the budget section it says "We estimate that this production will cost $22k. You'll note our goal is $12k - this is because we've received $10k of external funding outside of this campaign!" for a total of $34k

now you might see that and think "well anon, is that not basically the same thing? they actually raised more than that!"

there is as big difference between a project that is being spearheaded by a well-established and proven name in the audio drama space like Tal Minear and a project being driven by someone that most people haven't interacted with in any production capacity (I'm sure Tal would have their own interesting things to say about this crowdfunder, as they have quite a bit of experience themself in this realm). ADDITIONALLY, in the Re:Dracula campaign video (which is only 2 minutes if you were wondering) they state it is an "all or nothing project", meaning if they couldn't raise the necessary funds it wouldn't have happened. so when Re:Dracula asked for that money, there was an expectation built on past proven work and releases and the ask was made based on that.

(now do I also find that amount of money for Re:Dracula to be a bit ridiculous? honestly a bit yes, but as a production it is very much a professional venture within the space more than an indie project fueled by passion to tell a story. the whole thing exists to capitalize on Dracula Daily tho, so I think we all know that)

there is an expectation of quality and professionalism that is proportional to how much money you are asking people to entrust you with. it sounds shitty, and it is, but crowdfunding is about asking individuals to put faith in you and your vision, and it is your responsibility to do right by those people.

I should point out that there is no problem with a flexible goal, which means that money will still go to the project if not fully funded. but I do think it betrays that they know this goal is nonsense high.

but we will talk more in-depth about the budget breakdown in the next section.

The Donation Tiers

this is the bit that will be the most presumptive, as the nature of backer tiers is that you don't know what the goods will be like until a while after the campaign is over and stuff goes out. so this will be a more general look at the different levels, whether the perks seem to be fairly placed/distributed, etc.

my first question tho: why are nearly all of the tiers seemingly "discounted" right now (the day after launch)? is it a limited time first week of the campaign thing? if so, why aren't you using that to advertise and push people to pledge early to take advantage? in some industries this kind of thing is common practice (video games often launch with small discounts on digital platforms like Steam), but I have never seen it on any kind of crowdfunding campaign. I didn't even know it was a thing you could do.

I do like the visual cohesion with all the images used across the tiers. the yellow and purple thematically match with the show's website (which interestingly is not linked a single time on the page), though I'm unsure how legible it is when it comes to the text images within the main campaign body, definitely hides some the details of the pictures here against the parchment style background. the art styles themselves are exactly consistent, which is pretty obvious why once you realize they are all traced off other pictures or artwork (for example, this one is a clear base for this one and I was able to quickly find ). I was going to give the benefit of the doubt and assume this is a legal use of them since I can't hunt down every single one. but the hands holding a rosary image is from a site that says "attribution is required", and that sure wasn't done here so I don't know if any of the others were traced without permission or proper credit given. nowhere on the page is there a link to or mention of who created these images for the campaign. (unrelated, but alt text for images should be standard by now on sites like indiegogo, especially since so many campaigns utilize banner images instead of header text to differentiate sections)

okay let's actually look at these tiers (at the price before the discount):

there are 10 options total (plus the general donate without a perk) ranging from $6 to $267 USD. as a high and low these are good boundaries, with 6 of the options being below the $100 mark. honestly this is a really solid distribution in terms of offering options at the lower end while still giving variety at the middle and higher end.

the first four are restricted to digital content only, with the baseline offering discord access and a social media shout-out and then progressively adding digital annotated scripts, early access to episodes, and the digital "librarian guide".

the annotated scripts is an interesting perk considering it will apparently include both past and future episodes of the show. however that isn't particularly specific about whether it is even talking about season 1 scripts or if it means scripts for only the current "prologue season" as it is defined in the main text of the campaign (oh we will get there). it does has a general delivery timeframe of April 2023, but is this a one and done or will these backers continue to get new annotated scripts thru the creation of season 1? how many will that come out to? will they get all the scripts? these are not small questions when it comes to asking value, though at a price point of $12 I think most people would be satisfied with a few from throughout the first season.

similarly "early access to episodes" is too vague and needs to be more specific; when Red Valley crowdfunded last year they stated that backers would get access a full week before the public, but all the ATS campaign says is "ahead of the general public". it is worth noting that both campaigns asked $18 for this level, so we are in line there it seems.

the Librarian Guide is a neat bit of content to offer, though I wish there were mock-ups or even a little more information about the type of things that will be included aside from illustrations. "information" could mean star signs and the fact they hate cake, or it could be substantial like their background and how they came to be part of the story. the price has jumped to $33 at this tier, so sell me on why I should give another $15 for this.

from here we start bringing in physical goods, which can really drive people to giving more for that extra thing to show off.

at $44 we add a 5 count sticker pack. considering ordering minimums I think people often discount how much nice stickers can cost (assuming they go with nice ones), plus factoring in the postage from Ireland for even a regular letter envelope. so I think this is a fair jump up in price. the real question is, what are the designs? and actually, is it more than one design? because the wording is very non-specific to whether it is 5 of the same sticker you see a mock-up for in the video (which is just some black block text on a white background) or if it is 5 different designs that include actual artwork, or what. a sticker pack usually means multiple designs, but given we've only seen one thing that wasn't very impressive I don't know that that stuff is even prepared yet to send for printing. there is also nothing said about the quality of stickers in terms of vinyl, heavy duty, die cut, approx size, etc.

at $60 we add another digital reward of being thanked in the episode credits, a tier which does not have a limited number of slots, so I guess hope that it doesn't end up with 20+ names that have to be read out for every single release?

now we jump to the big leagues of pricing and physical production with the physical Librarian Guide at $128 USD. this is a pretty non-standard physical good which is an awesome thing to offer.

but here's where I feel something needs to be said about manufacturing, because that shit can go south fast. physical goods can be hard to produce on their own, and promising too much will lead down a road of stress and frustration and lots of time and money wasted if you don't know what you are doing. I know people who have goods manufactured as their entire business and it is a fucking gamble sometimes.

but also, what exactly does it mean for this to be a physical item? it is 24 pages, which is too short to be bound like a book (even an art book). is it a zine? what will the quality of the print be and will it adequately show off the artwork that you are all proud of? this is where mock-ups or a sample page would be really nice to see.

a big jump up to $171 for the addition of a t-shirt. an additional $43 is somewhat steep I think, but that's probably fine because we're factoring in a middle man and shipping costs. but on the mock-up... why is the artwork so obscured? I genuinely cannot figure out what it's supposed to look like, which is a pity because what I can see seems interesting. are you really that worried about someone stealing the design?

for only $213 there is the option to name a character. again, no limit on the number of slots for this strikes me as weird since there are only so many characters that can possible BE named? especially given that all the currently announced cast have character names, so are there more people that we don't know about and aren't named or are some of those names up for change or is this just a "in the transcript you'll see the name and maybe it will be said once" kind of deal?

another small nitpick on this one. here's the description for it:

just lose the last line. the two before it do a good job at saying "hey it will have to be approved, and we don't stand for hateful shit", so the last line comes across kind of weird? it feels somewhere between 'no fun allowed' and 'you're an idiot' and is wholly unnecessary to get across the restrictions you want.

last tier sits at $267 USD (or an even €250 EUR for those who like round numbers). this is the reward that I always fucking hate to see, and it's somehow more egregious for how it's framed here. for all that money, you can get an executive producer credit.

this is a note for everyone doing a podcast crowdfund campaign: STOP DOING THIS SHIT. do you know why this reward exists? vanity. that's literally it. it exists for someone to claim that they were part of a project they didn't do anything for to try and gain clout.

now, why specifically does THIS ONE enrage me? for one, it is literally the only addition at this highest tier. add a handwritten thank you note or a chance to talk with the writers or SOMETHING. this is wholly unsubstantial for being the ultimate backer reward. but back to the credit itself, do you know where you'll be able to find it? only on Podchaser and IMDb. no mention of being distinguished in the credits of each episode with this label, nothing about being recognized on the website. just those two places that mean nothing and will barely be seen by anyone. do you know how easy it is to get on IMDb? embarrassingly so, and nobody will ever look. this kind of title exists for putting on a resume and looking impressive, but then if someone where to ask any follow up question you're kind of screwed because you actually did nothing but pay for it. so unless your only goal is to have your name attached to a project that has some well-known actors in the tiny pond that is audio drama, this shit is worthless.

so overall, I think the tiers are reasonable theoretically (minus the last one), but the lack of mock-ups for the more interesting stuff is definitely hurting that assessment.

The Campaign Itself

"About Among the Stacks"

minor gripe right off the bat, why is everything in this section a bullet point? those are for things in a list, which this is not. just leave them as paragraphs, which is basically what you've done anyway.

sorry that was distracting me. but let's talk about the actual content and some general advice.

the first thing I expect to see here is your elevator pitch. I talked about this in the video section, but since not everyone will watch your video (especially in this case when they see it is 10 minutes) you have to put it here. tell me why I should keep reading past your first paragraph. if I only read this campaign I would have no idea what your show is about or trying to be about.

instead what we're given is the setting and framework of the project. honestly this is good to include when there is a driving idea like "[creating] an open and inclusive space for creators to tell the stories they want to tell within the framework of the Library", and I take no issue with the inclusion of this. it could be said a little tighter (something this whole campaign could have used was a bit more editing to be honest), but the core principle is communicated and it sets the tone for what this project is claiming to be.

the 4th bullet should come next as it is the first mention or hint at the podcast feed even existing already. this is your way to prove that you can and have made stuff for the project and it doesn't only exist in people's heads. also, why is there no link to it?

it is nice to get the framing of who this project is largely coming from more than just looking at the name "Nigel McKeon" (she/they according to the website) as who created the campaign. it would be nice to get links to stuff like the poetry or podcasts to get a sense of her work, especially as they are asking for this much for what is essentially blind faith based on what this page gives us.

it is worth noting that while Nigel definitely has experience as a "podcaster", they do NOT have experience making an audio drama. her projects to this point have largely been unscripted talk podcasts such as Archive Admirers or Hyperfixations, so there is no indication of the quality of writing to expect from the project, even with a team of writers working on it. speaking of...

very interesting that our last paragraph here and the only image of this section is about some of the cast. this point is devoted to bragging about 6 of the well-known actors who are already involved in the project and listing their recognizable credits. the image below shows of 20 of the actors (including those 6), and even that barely scratches the surface of the 51 actors listed on their website as cast.

yep, 51. it is unclear to me how many of those are for one-off parts or actually considered core cast, but they are are named characters and apparently listed as equals so this is what I have to work with here.

it just so happens that these listed and pictured actors are the biggest names involved. which I get to an extent, you want to attract people to the project and that's a good way to do it. but that shouldn't be the ONLY thing your success is counting on. there are SO MANY big names attached here that it's suspicious to be honest.

also. why the fuck do you only mention your crew in passing here?

I don't care how talented your cast are, they won't be able to save bad writing or editing. your crew is just as important and yet THEY get no more than a passing mention. there are some really great people attached to this project and you are giving them zero recognition for all the hard work they had to put in already. before you could record these well-known voices, people had to write the scripts and flesh out the characters. so treat them with some respect for that!

I cannot even begin to communicate how infuriating it is to see the lack of credit given to the whole creative team, because the way this is presented feels like it's just Nigel and maybe some guest writers. if that IS what it is, then fucking say that! it isn't hard to communicate this stuff, and it is your duty when asking for this much money. always err on the side of being verbose.

I do think that generally more care needs to be taken with word choice and what is being highlighted though, because as with the tier descriptions some stuff is too vague or implies something that maybe isn't true.

I don't want to make assumptions about the people involved, particularly Nigel (she/they) who's project this is, but when I look at the pictures on the website of all the cast and crew involved in the project, I see a lot of pale skin. some of this might speak generally to the problem we have in the audio drama community of being very white, and it should be recognized that there is an amount of privilege associated with having the time and money to take on these kinds of creative hobbies. even with the bar for entry being much more accessible, things are a bit homogenous. but if you are claiming to care about platforming diverse and marginalized people, you need to show that. "show don't tell" is kind of the backbone of a lot of my issues with this campaign when it comes down to it, but this is one of those places where it really fucking matters. performative activism is something that we see a lot of, and I don't want to get into it here, but just platforming queer and ND voices is not the same as being diverse. queer activism and racial activism and disability activism and economic activism are all connected when you get down to it.

don't say you have an "incredibly diverse writing team" when I can look at the website and see that everyone is pale and very young. this does not read as diverse, it reads as "I didn't realize other neurodiverse people existed until I got deep on the internet and now I understand we are a marginalized group too".

(don't get me wrong, neurodivergence is absolutely a marginalized thing; it is still incredibly difficult for many people to get accommodations and help with managing the different struggles they may have. but even in that realm, it includes more than being ADHD or autistic and I'm getting on my soapbox so I'll stop here)

aside from all of that there is a piece of incredibly important information that just isn't here. how many episodes are you trying to make with this.

saying this will fund "season 1" doesn't mean anything when a podcast season can be anywhere from 40 episodes (The Magnus Archives) to 15 episodes (Jar of Rebuke) to only 4 (Samite). what does "one season" mean to your project? this is particularly important when it comes to justifying your budget and the breakdown of that work, as I'm about to get to.

(in that vein, communicating information like approximate episode length is also helpful I think for giving people an idea of the actual scope of the project; 20 episodes at 30 minutes each is 10 hours of content, but at an hour each that's twice as much work for all involved parties)

fucking hell, onto the next section where things do not get better.

The Budget "Breakdown" and Rewards

did you even try to make a chart where the text didn't go outside of the boundary, mate? also I hate these colors, it hurts to look at.

this is the chart provided, which basically just mirrors was the first bulleted paragraph states in terms of project budgeting. obviously for this section the monetary amounts did not automatically convert for to USD, but since all money is basically worthless right now it's pretty close to a $1 = €1 conversation rate anyway.

the project budget is split into 3 big categories: cast, crew, and artists. and split no more granular than that, which is big problem #1.

especially when there is no transparency on this page about how many people are involved within each of these groups, this could mean vastly different things and send a poor message generally. some people will look at this and not understand whether it is a fair ratio or not without the context of numbers.

if I were to do some rough calculations based on the information readily available via the website, we have:

20% or €4,000 to be split among the artists, of which there only seems to be the one on the website (Claire) and the one who made the character designs pictured lower on the page (@qkayoo). so that is €2k going to each of them roughly, though I know that likely isn't the actual shake out because Claire is responsible for all the episode art in addition to any of the other work being done specifically to fully campaign rewards like the t-shirt design. I'm also guessing that promotional materials for social media are included in this, but that's unclear since there's never any mention of marketing as part of the budget or campaign overall.

30% or €6,000 to be used for crew wages, which includes writers, composers, and producers. again, no mention of how many people this is or what the breakdown of that larger percentage is to each of these groups. should I also assume that there is going to be adequate compensation for the directing even though it isn't mentioned here?

the website lists 3 people as either "music", "composer", or "original songwriter" (not sure what those distinctions mean though in this context) but are we talking about vocal tracks or ambient music or what? and how much unique content are they expected to produce? is it comparable to the expectations for the visual artists, and if so why aren't they receiving compensation that reflects that? these are the questions I ask myself when you give me this little information and don't even bother mentioning who is involved in this part of the process.

similarly we have 3 producers, most of whom wear additional crew hats. are they all working together on each episode or is the season going to be split between them to ease the workload? on that note, is there a head producer in charge of doing final mastering on all episodes to make sure they sound consistent, because that is a lot of additional work compared to the other two.

and then there are 9 writers, so I start to wonder what is the breakdown of that load. is everyone writing full episodes or are people just writing the stories and Nigel as showrunner is doing all the larger plot stuff?

basically I just want to know that people are being compensated appropriately for their time, particularly the people whose work is sometimes not thought about or invisible such as the dialog editors, mixers, quality check, etc. even if the person doing these things isn't asking to be paid for that, they deserves to be compensated for each part of the process they are devoting time to. paying yourself adequately is part of equitable pay, even when it's your passion.

50% or €10,000 for all the cast wages, which as I've pointed out is at least the 51 people credited on the website, though again there is no mention of that here. I won't assume this is to an equal extent, but even if you are listing folks who literally have just one line you still need to compensate them a base amount for the time and effort.

I'm not really gonna say much about fair wages, I think that without insight into a process you can't really pass much judgement on how much work is going in? for example, recording voice over for an audiobook is often compensated in terms of "finished hour", rather than factoring in the additional amount of time spent doing retakes and editing it all together. compared to a production that wants to pay actors for the time they spent total, including things like table reads, live-directed, and asynchronous sessions, that number is going to look very different. differently skilled actors may require more or less help and industry rates are also dependent on your level of experience in the field. some of these bigger names will have a set rate, some of them will not.

I think the largest issues with this section is just the complete lack of justification for ANY of these numbers. when you say "we have estimated it will cost this much", what got you to that number? are you using industry standard rates for general voice acting or did you consult with audio drama specific folks, because those amounts can be different. the more money you ask for, the more conscious you have to be of how it will come across. if I asked my mom to lend me a $20, she won't ask why. if I ask her for $100, she probably will. if I ask for $1000, she will definitely want to know what exactly I'm planning to spend that much on.

we're going to jump over the rewards paragraph for a second to hit the last bullet point since it really belongs up here will all this money information.

as I stated earlier, I have no issue with flexible goals. in fact, it's very nice that it is again addressed here, because I really don't think this campaign will hit that $21k USD goal.

however, what exactly does "paying equitably" mean in this context, because that phrase could be a couple different things. does it mean these same percentage breakdowns for every individually, meaning if I were going to have been paid $500 but it only gets 50% of the goal would I make $250? or does it mean that some people like the larger named actors will still make most of what they would have and people with only a few lines will make a few bucks?

the term "equitable" does not mean "equal", they are genuinely different things. so apart from the larger percentage breakdowns being the same, which were already too broad of categories, it doesn't really tell us anything.

additionally, if the project doesn't get fully funded will there be any money paid out of pocket by Nigel or other crew to cover any promised or guaranteed minimum pay? I would assume that for some people involved this is very much part of their contract/agreement, formal or informal.

also, normally I would like to see the stretch goals section up here rather than down near the bottom as it is for this campaign.

but that's all for the budget, there's not a lot of information to work with here and I've already covered pretty much everything I can think of.

okay, back up to that rewards paragraph we jumped over.

there isn't very much to say about the rewards in this section because the campaign itself says basically nothing. this is where I looked for further details on any of the items promised by the different tiers and the only thing I found was a brief paragraph, a t-shirt mockup (that you can't see the design on, this will never not baffle me), and two character designs for the Librarian Guide, which the caption mistakenly refers to as the "Library Guide". proofreading is important folks.

let's look at this one paragraph though, because there is something very incorrect about it. if this were Dora I'd ask you to point it out for me, so fucking say it at your phone if you spot it:

did you catch any of the issues/inconsistencies here?

the first one is small: "thanks on our social media pages and website". this is the first mention of the website existing anywhere in the body of the campaign, and there isn't even a hyperlink to it. the lack of links on this campaign is just generally baffling.

I'll come back to the middle ones because they are the same issue twice, and the last one is another small nitpick: if you executive producer reward is the highest tier, why are you not presenting it that way here? from reading this I would assume name a character is the top prize for backing, not the fancy vanity credit. like I said, I fucking hate it as a reward, but you are the one trying to sell it to me as such and not doing a good job of it.

okay, so the thing that actually made me stop in my tracks and scramble confused to see if I missed something is the inclusion of 2 rewards that don't seem to exist. why are you claiming that "perks for supporting the crowdfunding include" t-shirts (note this is plural), posters, and pins.

let's take a brief detour with "t-shirts" plural. if you think this sounds pedantic, it really isn't because saying "a t-shirt" was always on the table. there is no tier at which I can support and receive multiple t-shirts, there are not multiple t-shirt design options. no reason to use plural phrasing here when everywhere else it is clearly a singular, feels like a mistake or trying to sound more impressive than you are.

posters and pins however, are entirely fucking new to the conversation we're having. I will point out that the concept of a pin set is mentioned in the stretch goals section BELOW this one, so reading top to bottom as one would expect that isn't known about yet. but even if it were, this is the paragraph talking about your INCLUDED REWARDS, which DOES NOT include your stretch goals. these are the things that someone can explicitly receive for backing your campaign, not the things they might get if you make enough money.

also you can't even make the stretch goal argument for posters however, that shit is not mentioned once anywhere else on the page, not even as a digital reward.

my guess is that this section was written before stuff was finalized or scoped down to the one t-shirt and limited physical goods, and just not updated because no one read over the campaign before launch to point out that adjustments were needed.

"Other Things We'll Be Doing"

just one paragraph here, should be a quick section to review.

right?

RIGHT?

it feels incredibly strange to me that you are asking for this much money when you admit that you are new and not "established members of the AD scene". just very weird behavior generally.

but as for the actual content here.

why the fuck are you promising so much stuff that isn't part of making the show. all of these things take time and energy and people caring enough to make that worth it. if you stream yourself playing a video game for 12 hours total and no one watches, you've spent 12 hours not actually connecting with the community. streaming is work in and of itself with no guarantee of any kind of interaction. and even you do have folks in chat, it's still incredibly one-sided and the streamer's first priority is the game rather than that communication.

the same goes for all these other events, except maybe the hangouts if the entire purpose of those is to interact with chatters. but it's more likely that's just some cast and crew in a discord call that happens to be streamed rather than an interactive type of thing.

in fact, none of these events actually connect you with your fellow creators or prospective fans except, as I said, potentially the hangouts and readthroughs. where is the actual community engagement and outreach? how is any of this supposed to help the project?

this shit is some of the worst to me and it will do nothing but slow down the entire project, because ALL of this requires way more work than you think it will. work that doesn't serve any purpose as far as this campaign goes.

if you want to do these things outside of it, go right ahead. but don't pitch it as part of this or you are implicitly saying that this crowdfund is kind of also funding all of that rather than just making the show itself and fulfilling rewards. this is a lot of time commitment that people are either being paid for or being asked to do as free labor for the show.

also, we once again have issues with being vague here. how many events are you planning to do for each of these different things? who will be hosting/participating in them for the more casual ones like the gaming and TTRPG streams? are these things planned for during the crowdfund period, after the crowdfund but before season 1, during season 1, or a mix of all three?

oh yeah, and what do you mean by "a full cast readthrough of the prologue", because from what I could tell above you have 9 episodes of a "prologue season" out with however many more to go. so is this a full readthrough of this season 0 or is there a DIFFERENT prologue yet to come? and if there IS a different singular prologue episode, why should I even bother with the stuff you are releasing right now?

Milestones

I like this section, it's genuinely good stuff. enticing people to contribute for immediate bonus content is a great way to drive engagement and it can snowball as more funding means more sneak peeks means more eyes see your campaign.

WTF Are These Stretch Goals

not gonna lie, stretch goals is the first place I go when I check out a crowdfund campaign. it says a lot to me about the larger project priorities and reveals a bit more about what people deem as fair compensation for work.

first off: why did you attach a date for when you came up with the stretch goals? all this does is tell me that you potentially sat on launching this campaign for 9 days (launched March 1), which honestly doesn't matter to me but feels unnecessary for me to even wonder whether something was going wrong behind the scenes. just get rid of it, if for some reason you have to update or edit the goals you can make a note then with the date and change you made for transparency.

second: I think it's generally seen to be more effective to hide the majority of your stretch goals until the prior one is reached. this adds mystery and gets people excited dreaming up the "what-ifs". and it stops people like me from judging the feasibility of your numbers up front like this.

also, I do want to point out upfront that stretch goals are not necessarily meant to be seen as a value equivalent for what is being offered. it is an encouragement to get above and beyond and should theoretically be more about raising the overall wages of involved parties with only a small amount pulled aside for the perk.

but let's just go down the list:

"Stretch Goal 1: If we reach €22,500 we will write and perform a digital exclusive livestream of new Among the Stacks content"

so this is something that will happen for only €2,500 additional. which, to be honest, that number feels a bit off for the implied work required, but since "Among the Stacks content" could just mean one more short story, I'm not too concerned with it. just remember that a livestream also requires production work and organization to be done, especially when you are trying to plan around optimal times for your listeners and availability of actors from various timezones. the difference between GMT and PST is 8 hours fyi.

"Stretch Goal 2: If we reach €25,000, we will be able to bring out a small line of Among the Stacks related enamel pins."

yeah no. for a couple reason.

firstly, there is not even a single mockup of what these might look like so why should I care? all of the art we've been shown so far for the show would not translate well to an enamel pin because the level of details is wrong for that scale.

also, what does "a small line" mean? does that mean 3 or 5 or 10? making one pin is a lot of work, let along multiple designs that each have to go through their own proofing phase with the manufacturer.

speaking of.

I didn't really get into the manufacturing thing much when I talked about rewards earlier, but that kind of thing is a real risk. I see and know a lot of pin makers who wind up with more "B and C grade" pins than ones they feel comfortable selling for full price. so what are you going to do if you finish at €25k and there's a manufacturing issue? do you have a contingency built in? have you made selected a possible factory and made blanks with them? are you sure they aren't a scam, because that's also a real problem that goes on with places using photos from other people and then running off with your money. there's a reason this thing is an entire job to wrangle in itself, and at only €2,500 above the prior stretch goal that could be a really slim buffer to work with.

and all of that has to be done for every pin design. this isn't like stickers where you can see a mockup of the die-cut. this is hours of work and communication past just getting a design from your artist.

now, I should point out that this does not say anything about how these will be made available. with no mention about the tiers as part of this, I'm assuming it will not be something added to every tier above a certain level, which is the right choice I think. the implication to me is that this is basically the seed money to then offer it in their website store. this is not something talked about anywhere, so I am potentially making a big assumption there, but I do know they have one already. whatever the case, some people will get the wrong idea about what this goal means because it isn't being specified and maybe think that they will be getting pins in the mail for backing the campaign. clarity is important.

which, also. how much of this is going to pay the artist(s) and will your artists be getting any kind of royalties from sales of this or other store goods? I am full of questions and you aren't answering any of them anywhere.

"Stretch Goal 3: If we reach €50,000, we will be able to create physical books of our scripts featuring notes and commentary."

again, lets talk manufacturing and proofs.

there are a decent number of options for getting a book printed, but that number is cut down when you have specifications involved like "notes and commentary". what this means in practice is probably something like irregular margins to make room for these, the addition of annotations that then must be matched to the proper pages depending on book size (since no way will it be an 8"x11" sheet the way that your google doc scripts are, especially if it's a paperback).

this also means lots of time doing page layouts, checking over the whole book digitally, getting the proof to verify things are right when printed, getting cover art, etc. and which scripts are we talking about for this? prologue season and/or the whole of season 1? in that case, what's the time frame you think that kind of project would take and who is going to paid to do all that work and make sure it includes all the most updated notes and commentary?

speaking of commentary, that sounds like a lot of extra work too since that's not a normal byproduct of making a podcast. whose commentary will it be, Nigel or the writers or a mix of cast and crew?

yes, this is a full €25k above the prior goal, but that is not a lot.

also, again. where will this be available? is it another store good that anyone can buy? how much do you think you'll charge for it on top of this required stretch amount? I'm not necessarily saying you need to answer these questions now, but I need to feel like you have a plan to and I just don't.

"Stretch Goal 4: If we reach €75,000, we will be able to do some physical live shows."

this one is definitely bullshit.

first of all: "SOME"??? what does that even mean except for more than one? honestly with how spread apart some of the cast are in the world, I would be impressed if you could wrangle this amount of money into a single live show.

plus live shows are then further restricting the availability of people to attend, because whether you host it in Ireland where Nigel is from or elsewhere in the UK or Europe or US, there will be a lot of people who are disappointed that you aren't near them. you can livestream them too, but that's another layer of setup and coordination and we all know it's not really the same.

also, as a larger point we need to talk about the ableism of hosting live shows when the pandemic is still happening and killing people. you are excluding your listeners and your cast/crew who don't feel safe to travel to it, let alone be in an enclosed space for 30-60 minutes with people who likely won't be masking.

"Stretch Goal 5: If we reach €100,000, we'll reveal it if we reach Stretch Goal 4"

based on the other goals, I'm already sus what this could be. but the mystery of it is good, they should have done that for more of the goals.

"This is one suggested by Marguerite Kenner as a larger stretch goal, but if we reach €250,000, we can pay everyone involved, down to even one line performances, enough to qualify them for SAG recognition - which requires a person to have receive over £500 paid for work they have done."

this is naïve at best.

right off the bat, let's talk about what SAG is for a second. it stands for the Screen Actors Guild. SCREEN ACTORS.

let me tell you what this makes me think about your project:

you wish you were making a movie, but that's hard to break into so you settled for making a podcast.

podcasts are not for the screen, why are you trying to impress people as though they are. audio storytelling as a medium is an entirely different thing, and the best podcasts out there right now are the ones who are leaning into what makes audio unique. The Goblet Wire, The Moon Crown, and Human B-Gone are all great examples of using the medium for what it is rather than trying to turn it into something it isn't. we have awards in our space if you really care that much, there are some high profile ones too that you can submit for (tho some sure do cost a lot of money to even enter).

this drive by some audio drama creators to chase after tv and movies is a disservice to THIS medium. stop fucking doing it.

putting aside all of that, your project doesn't actually qualify for this.

the phrase "SAG recognition" isn't a real thing from what I can tell, the actual thing I think we're talking about is "SAG eligible".

one of two things needs to happen for a performer to actually be considered eligible:

proof you were employed in a position already covered by a SAG-AFTRA agreement and have worked at least one day in a speaking role

you are a paid-up member of an affiliated performers' union for a year and have worked and been paid for at least once in that union's jurisdiction

so what does that all mean? basically that this goal is pure bullshit.

also worth noting, in order to prove your eligibility to SAG-AFTRA itself, you must submit pay stubs. I don't think Among the Stacks has an official company or business registration that is being used to pay everyone? that means there is also no tax ID, and probably no formal contract which you also need. also I don't know what that looks like for anyone who ISN'T American, which a huge number of them aren't.

that's not even considering the fact that it's an application with them that needs to be approved. being eligible just means you can choose to submit. and they'll probably look at your 1 line in a random independent audio drama and say no anyway.

additionally did you know the base fee for a SAG card is $3000? and then when you have that you will need to report the ~$500 you made on your taxes, which just cuts into your earnings and gets you nothing.

I will say that it is a weirdly noble goal to be able to pay everyone a minimum of €500, even if they have a single line. but completely unnecessary and unreasonable and honestly the money could probably be better spent elsewhere.

but yeah that one made me fucking laugh.

one last more general thing: what will happen if the campaign hits €40k? will that €15k above the prior stretch goal be distributed along the same lines as the "equitable" budget split? will it go towards an emergency fund if your physical goods require more shipping than you thought or the pin manufacturer sends you largely duds?

"Alternative Ways You Can Help"

another section I have literally no problems with. it's always nice to acknowledge that not everyone who wants to support you will be financially able to. audio drama has a listener base that includes some surprisingly young people who may not have spare income, along with people paying for education, between jobs, otherwise financially strapped. especially right now.

I do think it would help these people if you had any links to your social media here though. literally any at all. even just mentioning the @ on twitter would be helpful.

The FAQ

an oft forgotten part of the campaign, the FAQ is actually super important and a great place to put information that didn't really fit anywhere else.

it is not where you should be making your show pitch.

it is for frequently asked questions about the campaign itself.

so let's look at what ATS has done with it. they only put two questions, so this will be quick.

the first question is: "What is Among the Stacks about?"

this should have been the first paragraph of your actual campaign, why is it tucked away here???

the second question is: "I haven't heard Among the Stacks - what podcasts is it similar to?"

again, this is fine information to put near the top of the main campaign page. but it's not a frequently asked question about the campaign itself.

also how have you STILL not linked the podcast feed, I am BAFFLED. also, you list a bunch of inspirations that I probably could have guessed based on your premise and pitch, but without saying anything about why or how you found these things to be impactful in the development of your idea. especially when one of your milestones is to release lists of things that inspired you, why did you include this at all?

so, what is ACTUALLY supposed to go in an FAQ?

the first thing you should talk about if you didn't cover it in the main text is when people should expect the project to start releasing the content. the "estimated shipping" dates that are on tiers are usually not a reflection of that, but more about the goods that are being offered. so it's important that you put somewhere when people should expect to hear the first episode of season 1.

it's also a good place to give people a sense for the scope of the project beyond the campaign, i.e. how many season total are you planning to make.

if you are shipping physical goods for any reward, it can also be helpful to address whether shipping costs have already been factored in or if that will be an additional fee on top of the listed prices.

tell people where to contact you if they have additional campaign specific questions. an email, twitter handle for dms, anything.

there are so many things that can go here for clarifying parts of the campaign, and you can add/edit it as actual ones do start to come in. but it is here to be about the campaign itself, and the questions should reflect that.

are we done yet? almost, I swear.

(I'm dying a little inside right now)

The Catchall

these are small general notes that don't fit anywhere in particular, but stood out to me as weird:

why is a link to the feed not within the first paragraph? on that note, why is there no link ANYWHERE in the campaign??? not to your podcast host or website or even social media. if someone stumbles across your campaign, how do they find you FROM it.

the repeated framing of this show in comparison to queer media that is distributed by larger streaming services (i.e. Netflix and Discovery) is very weird. the scale of those projects and therefore the monetary expectations are different because marketability and capitalism. anyone with a $30 microphone can create a podcast with enough work, this isn't a valuable comparison in the slightest. none of us in this space are pandering, why even draw the comparison as is done in the video.

as an added note to that last point, almost all audio drama is extremely queer, something I love. but it is not something that sets a project apart enough to stress it as much this and other productions do, especially when for many they are using the term to mean "there is a gay relationship" versus "we substantially have queerness as part of our characters and stories in ways that matter to it". both have value, but there is a difference between "this is a podcast about coffee" and "this is a podcast where people sometimes have a cup while chatting about something else"

maybe a petty one, but it's been bothering me: the logo generally looks bad in my opinion, but it looks even worse when blown up on a web page or in a youtube video because it was clearly not made with that kind of resolution in mind. I've had this issue with art I've done in the past and it sucks, but it just doesn't look good when you see those fuzzy edges. especially when the framing device of your whole story is a professional environment like a library, which would have very clean promotional material.

Closing Thoughts

this show feels like a disaster waiting to collapse in on itself. I could write a whole post about just that aspect and all the things that have made me generally suspicious of it, but from the point of view of this review of their campaign? it just feels like asking way too much for so little guarantee it will come together.

I'm not here to try and shit on a project that someone feels passionate about, I think that's a necessary part of making any good creative project and we have a staggering amount of that in the audio drama space. but people can get in over their heads or dream too big to handle if they aren't already prepared and experienced. I've talked with creators who set aside dream projects until they knew it was something they could handle. and there are so many cooks in the kitchen here, the level of coordination required to wrangle a production staff this large is not to be understated. I just don't see this turning out well for anyone involved and I think this kind of money should be spread broader in the community to help fund smaller more varied projects.

especially considering we are already for some reason getting TMA 2 and this feels like it's trying to be TMA 1.5

I really should have made this account back when that campaign was running, because wow did it have some terrible issues too

[ofdinosanddais1]

Another song for the people of Palestine. This one is called "reconnect" and is a little more angry than the other ones. It is first a recognition of the beautiful and intelligent group of Palestinian people who worked hard to restore Palestine's connection to the world and it's just supposed to be a major "fuck you" kind of song towards Israel and the US and their heartless and disgusting videos where they're CHEERING ABOUT THE DEATHS OF INNOCENT CIVILIANS.

My last two songs that I posted here were about the heartbreak and pain that I felt for the children living in Palestine and how they have to grow up so fast because they're witnessing death and carnage that they are too young to fully understand but this song is a praise for the strength and intelligence and kindness that Palestinians have when going through the worst event in this century. It's also just a song calling out the pathetic excuses that Israel gives for killing 10,000 people and committing egregious war crimes. So, just take this as a big fuck you to Israel.

Any Palestinian has full permission to claim this song as theirs. It belongs to Palestine and I hope it can help empower the people living there. You all deserve your land back. You all deserve to live in peace. You deserve nothing of what Israel is doing to you and you will be free one day.

Edit: for some reason it deleted this sentence but this post explains the meaning of "from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free".

‐----

Cut out my vocal chords cause I screamed out

I put them back to see what the world figured out

The slaughter of lambs, the innocent debris

Collapsed by the missles and the land of the free

Rip out my wiring because I made a sound

The piece of my mind that will never be found

Just like the limbs scattered through a flattened city

Who told them freedom could ever be pretty

I can't leave this in anyone's hands

I have to reconnect so they understand

I'm the wretched soul that survived the nuclear bombs

You can't step on me cause you're already gone

So shout shout shout shout shout to the world

They labor the boys and rape the girls

They tried to silence but they won't see me bleed

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free

So get out out out out out of your head

You blink too fast and all of them are dead

They blew up a store that sells bread and teddy bears

Don't fucking tell me any of this shit really scares you

They dug my grave because I told a tale

With pictures you steal to create a veil

Steal the destructive spotlight for your sympathy

While you're free to run around and you enjoy the screams

They say Hamas was more brutal than this

But that doesn't line up with the words of that hostage

She shook their hands once she was set free

But you refuse to parry your pride, that's so embarrassing

I can't leave this in anyone's hands

I have to reconnect so they understand

I'm the wretched soul that survived the nuclear bombs

You can't step on me cause you're already gone

So shout shout shout shout shout to the world

They labor the boys and rape the girls

They tried to silence but they won't see me bleed

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free

So get out out out out out of your head

You blink too fast and all of them are dead

They blew up a store that sells bread and teddy bears

Don't fucking tell me any of this shit really scares you

Gliding

over the carnage

I see,

Courage through the hardest

Points of

This starving, infected plot

Well you tried to trick us all

but my dear you've been caught

So shout shout shout shout shout to the world

They labor the boys and rape the girls

They tried to silence but they won't see me bleed

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free

So get out out out out out of your head

You blink too fast and all of them are dead

They blew up a store that sells bread and teddy bears

Don't fucking tell me any of this shit really scares you

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Unlikely Places - Chapter 20 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Chapter: 20 - Chicken

Last night when I had come home from the reception my home, for the first time had felt empty.

Cicero had greeted me with his usual affection but it had been different somehow.

It hadn't been enough.

The house had been quiet and still.

I had talked to Cicero but there had been no response.

A week ago, that hadn't bothered me at all.

Last night it had.

I was worried it would continue to do so.

My cell-phone dinged.

I glanced down to see it was a text from Pierce.

We had not communicated since his phone call Thursday, when he had hung up angry with me.

I hesitated before picking up my phone reading the message.

[Did you have a good weekend?]

I stared at the message.

As I stared, I tried to pretend I wasn't feeling a growing surge of happiness at the simple sentence.

Our call had ended abruptly when we last spoke.

He had asked me out twice and I had declined both.

At the back of my mind had been a nagging worry that there wouldn't be a third invitation.

His texting me now gave me hope I was wrong.

I felt foolish for my wayward thoughts.

I felt like a high schooler excited about a first date.

A puff of laughter passed my lips as I accepted I kind of was.

This giddy nervous sensation in my stomach wasn't new.

Anxiety had a way of creating an edgy feeling in my belly but there was another feeling alongside this.

A rushing in my blood I couldn't explain.

It was a fizzy sensation that tickled me inside and out.

That was completely new and good, if not strange.

I held the phone trying to think what I should reply.

A few minutes later, frustrated with myself and my dithering, I replied.

[Yes I did thank you and you?]

I hit send before giving it anymore thought though I wanted to kick myself after I did.

It was one of the lamest things I think I had ever seen.

In reality I didn't think there could really be a wrong answer to that kind of question, yet in my heart as I stared at it, I felt that was exactly what it was.

Wrong.

Little wiggling dots appeared and I knew he was responding.

I relaxed a bit. It was comforting to watch for some reason and I waited to see what he would say.

[It was quiet]

I stared at the simple reply for a long minute then set my phone down.

I tried to go back to my work but my mind lingered on those three words.

It felt like the conclusion to the conversation and yet I felt compelled to respond but at the same time I had no idea with what.

Worst of all, I didn't know if he wanted me to.

I ran my hands through my hair, realizing I was long past due for a cut.

My hair was thick and it lay perfectly as long as I didn't let it grow past a certain length.

Once it did it became unruly like Mick's.

Percy had asked me not to cut it before the wedding.

He had told me multiple times the longer locks with my skin gave me a boyish charm.

I had always insisted I was a man so that didn't sound like a good thing.

In the end it had seemed a simple request and since it was his wedding and his wedding pictures I had finally agreed.

The textured fringe cut was becoming a mess now though and a trim was definitely in order.

My cell-phone dinged another message and I reached more eagerly than I liked to admit. It was from Pierce again.

[I guess no one ever accused you of being too chatty.]

I bit at my lower lip as I reread the message.

I wasn't sure if I was being teased or mocked or even if there was a difference.

I also wondered what I was supposed to have said.

The truth was, he was right.

I wasn't chatty.

I was in fact, the complete opposite.

To top it off I didn't know him very well and he was my boss.

Those three things hindered my already weak communication skills.

With determination I took a small step outside my comfort zone and replied honestly.

[Yes, I'm not a big talker but you're kind of an impatient guy and I didn't know what to say.]

I hit send before I could change my mind.

I didn't know if that would make him mad.

Most things I said or did seemed to end up making him angry one way or the other.

I swallowed as I awaited his reply.

Any attempts at continuing to work were put on hold as I anxiously watched my screen.

He didn't keep me in suspense for long.

[😂😂]

A chuckle escaped passed my lips before I could prevent it.

Pierce Luciano didn't seem the type to send laughing emojis.

He screamed more mafia mob boss.

I tried to imagine him sending other employees the same and I just couldn't quite see it.

Before I could continue to think about it a second message came in and I quickly read.

[I never know what to expect from you.]

I scoffed.

Did he think he was an open book or something?

I quickly replied.

[I think that's my line.]

[What you see is what you get.]

I blinked at the last message.

Did he really just say that?

[I hope not.]

[What are you implying?]

I laughed outright.

Did he really have no clue how he acted?

The things he said the accusations he made, his eyes blue eyes flaring with innuendos and dirty thoughts not to mention his nasty temper but despite all that I found I couldn't send a response.

I didn't want to say that to him.

I certainly didn't want to bring them up in a text.

Texts and emails could be read with inflections not intended by the sender.

The words would sound harsh enough as it was.

[Nothing]

I pressed my lips together as I waited for his response.

I hoped he let it go.

I hoped he wasn't mad already with what I had said.

This relationship we were developing, or whatever you wanted to call it, was weird enough, confusing enough, difficult enough for me without delving deeper via text his snarky and difficult behavior.

My cell-phone dinged and of all the responses from him, I hadn't prepared myself for the one I got.

[Chicken] 

[microficmay]

Image by Lindsay Ann Learning 2020

Microfiction: Tips & Tricks

Writing flash fiction may seem like a walk in the park, but it's definitely a lot harder than it looks. Fitting an impactful story into a couple hundred, 100, or even 50 words can be troublesome, frustrating, or just downright inconceivable. Therefore, in honor of Microfic May starting soon (AHHHH), we thought we'd share some useful advice for helping you write the best microfiction possible. Why use more words when few words do trick?

Examples

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. —Ernest Hemingway

He showered her with roses, but never asked her favorite flower.  —Dandelions, Actually by R. Gatwood

“Holes. You were supposed to make holes in them.” —My One Day at the Donut Factory by Bart Van Goethem

Exactly like her mother, who taught her the secrets of the profession, she patches together the cracked axles of their obsolete time machines, and listens to all of their tall tales, and raises her daughter alone in the house on the hill. Maybe a day will come and she’ll say to one of them—maybe the one who doesn’t remember that he already recited a Cummings poem to her, maggie and milly and molly and may went down to the beach to play one day; or maybe the one who always cuts himself more than once while shaving; or maybe to someone else, who still hasn’t arrived at her time—“If time travel were possible, nobody would stay in this time.” —The Woman Who Repaired Time Machines by Alex Epstein

Elements to Focus On

1. Emotion

Pick 1 primary emotion. Readers want to feel something, and with such a limited word count, that can be difficult. It's best for microfiction to just pick 1 emotion and extrapolate from there.

2. Conflict

Start in the middle of the conflict. In microfiction, there isn't time to go into a long back-story with side plots and descriptions galore. Cut right to the chase and start in the middle. Narrow down the conflict as much as possible. Information can always be implied instead of explicitly stated.

3. Character(s)

Limit the number of characters. No more than 2 characters is recommended. Remember, the more characters you have, the more words you need to add to describe them. Speaking of character description, give them a defining attribute (ex: a physical trait, peculiarity in the voice, enigmatic attitude). Make them memorable. If you name your character, keep it short to save on length.

4. Imagery

Use strong imagery. We've all heard the phrase Show Don't Tell, but it is particularly import for microfiction. For such a short story, it's also better to pick 1 or 2 scenes instead of multiple. Use emotion and conflict to set the scene(s). Paint a picture for the reader.

5. POV

Stick to one point of view. We suggest 1st person or 3rd person limited because they stick tightly to the protagonist, the better for conveying emotion or inner thoughts.

6. Title

Utilize your title. Relate it back to the story without giving away the ending. Try thinking up a couple of options on the spot. Usually the first option is not the best option.

7. Hook Ending

Make the last line count. At the end of the day, this is what the reader is left with to remember your story, and you want them to remember. Maybe it's a plot twist. Maybe it's a description of stunning imagery. Just make it resonate. Similarly, if your story is only one sentence long, you can still give the reader something to think about long after they finish reading.

Writing Shorter

1. Start Long

Don't worry about length on the first draft. Get it all out, however many words that may be, then go back and edit edit edit.

2. Adjectives and Adverbs

Be critical of adjectives and adverbs. Do you really need them? Can you replace them with a stronger noun or verb instead? For example, change "she screamed loudly" to "she screamed." Since screaming is already a loud action, we can delete the adverb. Another example, change "he walked angrily" to "he stomped." Find out more about writing with strong verbs HERE.

3. Articles

Cut articles (a, an, and the) from your story. Most of them are unnecessary and don't add anything to the overall plot. If you can find ways to cut them out, you free up a couple of extra words.

4. Filler Words

Similar to articles, consider cutting filler words from your story. Some examples are that, really, very, then, just, and any version of seemed, thought, realized, or felt.

5. Sentence by Sentence

Once you have the main ideas down, go sentence by sentence and see what you can edit. Paying attention to the bigger picture is great and all, but let's be honest. Your story isn't that big, so each sentence is vitally important. Try going line by line to polish it up.

And that's it...

We hope some of these tips and tricks are helpful. Many of them can even be useful when writing longer works of fiction. Because isn't a novel really just a collection of shorter scenes woven together?

If you're interested in trying out those microfiction writing skills, Microfic May is only 5 days away!!! You can view this year's Prompts or check out the Guidelines and FAQ for more info.

And if that's not enough, here are 62 more flash fiction story prompts for inspiration.

Happy writing!

Sources: Flash Fiction: How to Write Mini Short Stories How to Write Micro-Fiction Stories in your pocket: how to write flash fiction 13 Tips for Writing Flash Fiction How to Teach Micro Fiction Like a Pro

← Previous: Fest Announcement | Next: So It Begins! →

[specialagentsergio]

rationalizations

rationalizations: a defense mechanism in which one makes up a false but reassuring explanation to explain their behavior and/or feelings to both themselves and others, thus avoiding the reality of why they are really acting or feeling as they do.

summary: You’re the psych evaluation for Spencer. You think he’s full of shit, so you refuse to sign his clearance form until he actually tells the truth.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader

category: angst (happy ending)

content warnings: spencer’s canonical trauma, flashbacks, mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation, swearing

a/n: i wrote this for @imagining-in-the-margins‘ enemies to lovers event. it’s not my favorite trope, but one of the prompts sparked inspiration for me. i also took a good amount of inspiration from meredith’s various therapy scenes in grey’s anatomy, so if some of it feels familiar, that’s why! i swear i intended to make this cute and funny, but, well… here we are lmao.

word count: 3.6k

masterlist

Spencer throws his bag onto his desk with a frustrated huff. It thumps loudly, startling JJ at her desk across from his. She gives him a sympathetic look regardless. “Still not cleared yet?”

“No!” Forgetting that it’s wheeled, he drops himself into his chair. It skids backwards and he has to scramble to grab something to keep from falling out of it.

“Careful there,” JJ says, trying valiantly to suppress a laugh. “That psychologist's got you really worked up, huh?”

“I don’t know what she wants from me!” he complains. “It’s been nearly a month! Hotch’s ex-wife was murdered by an unsub, but they cleared him. I was only shot in the neck.”

“I mean, that’s still kind of a big deal,” she says. “You could’ve died, from the gunshot, or from the nurse that tried to kill you afterwards.”

“Speaking of that nurse,” he starts, “Garcia is the one who shot him and she’s been a wreck over it. She insisted on going to the guy’s execution. But the therapist cleared her!”

“Penelope’s not in the field,” JJ points out.

He crosses his arms. “Still. This isn’t the first time I’ve been shot. That possibility is part of the job. It’s not like it came out of nowhere and I was completely unprepared for it.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Spence,” she says. “Just keep all of your appointments and I’m sure you’ll be cleared soon.”

He pulls a stack of papers on his desk towards him. Paperwork—one of the things he’s actually allowed to do. “I better be,” he mutters.

---

“And it was really scary, you know?” Spencer wipes at his eyes with a tissue. “Not knowing if I was going to live or die.”

“Mm-hmm.”

He takes a deep breath. “But… it’s over now. The preacher who shot me died in the same shootout. Owen McGregor, the leader of the corrupt deputies, died later that night, in another shootout. And Greg Baylor, the one who posed as a nurse and tried to kill me, was sentenced to death row and he’s gone now, too.”

His psychologist makes a note on the paper in front of her, but doesn’t say anything, so he continues.

“I… I feel better now, just letting that out.” He takes a new tissue and dries his nose. “I feel ready now. Ready to go back to work.”

She nods slowly, considering him. But she doesn’t even look towards her desk where the clearance form sits, frustrating him to no end. After five minutes of silence, he breaks.

“You can’t be serious.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’ve been coming to these sessions for over a month, and I’m still not cleared to be in the field. I…” He musters up more tears and makes sure his voice wavers during his next words. “I just don’t know what you want? I’ve tried everything.”

“No, you haven’t,” she says plainly.

He blinks in surprise, sending some of the crocodile tears down his cheeks. “What?”

She crosses her legs. “You’re full of shit.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not being honest with me, and I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself either,” she says. “You’re a great actor. I can see how you’ve gotten clearances easily before. But that stops with me.”

Spencer stares at her. “I don’t understand.”

She moves her notebook to the side. “What happened in Texas isn’t the first time your life’s been in danger. Why do you think that is?”

“Wh—that’s part of my job,” he argues, fake crying long since forgotten.

“Not to the extent that you take it. I’ve read your file,” she says. “You take unnecessary risks with regularity.”

The tissues crumple in his hand as he clenches it. “I do not.”

“Let’s go back to the beginning.”

“The beginning of what?”

“Of your career.” Yet she doesn’t take out his file, or look at her notes. She speaks from memory. “2005. The BAU is assisting with a hostage situation. You go into the train, posing as someone who is there to remove a microchip from the unsub, but the first thing you do? You take off your bulletproof vest.”

“Okay, clearly you don’t understand what the situation was,” Spencer cuts in. “Ted Bryar was suffering from a psychotic break. He was somewhat unpredictable, and he told me to take off the vest.”

“And you just listened?”

“He—he had a gun, and was threatening both me and the other passengers with it!” he says. “What was I supposed to do, not listen?”

“Uh, yeah,” she replies. “You easily played into his delusions just a few minutes later to distract him. Why not do that to keep yourself safe?”

“I was twenty-four and was running on adrenaline,” he says defensively. “And it was my first time doing something like that. You can’t expect me to think of everything.”

“You’re right, I can’t,” she agrees. “So let’s jump forward a few years. How about the time you approached a teenager who was wielding an assault rifle with no protection, not even your own firearm?” she challenges.

“You mean Owen Savage? That was a unique situation,” he protests. “I knew I could talk him down.”

“No, you didn’t. You thought you had a good chance, but there’s no way to be one hundred percent sure of that. He was volatile, and on a killing spree,” she counters. “You didn’t know if you’d succeed--”

“I did!” He startles himself by unconsciously raising his voice, but he doesn’t apologize. “I did, because….”

“Because you related to him,” she fills in. “And that’s fine. Having empathy for an unsub doesn’t suggest something’s wrong in and of itself. But you still put yourself, and the rest of your team, in danger, didn’t you?”

He crosses his arms. “I got that lecture from Hotch when it happened, okay?”

“So then why’d you confront an unsub alone a few years later in Miami?” she asks. “You didn’t even tell anyone where you were going. You left your vest behind and just ran off.”

“I was having a head—wait, how do you even know that happened?” he questions. “It wasn’t in the report.”

“Well, first of all, you just confirmed it,” she points out, and he wants to kick himself. “Secondly, I can read between the lines.”

“I was having a headache,” he repeats. “I wasn’t thinking all that clearly. I just knew Julio’s life was in immediate danger, so I went to help him.”

“Uh-huh. More recently,” she says, brushing past his excuse, “You confronted your girlfriend’s stalker without your vest or gun.”

Spencer’s getting angry now. “I was trying to save Maeve. She asked me to leave them behind.”

“And you simply listened. Do you see the pattern I’m drawing here, Dr. Reid?” she asks. “These are just a few of the instances that stand out. Time and time again, you put yourself in unnecessary danger. So I’ll ask you again. Why do you think that is?”

Spencer looks over her—really looks over her, trying to understand what she’s getting at. “Are… are you suggesting that I’m suicidal?” he asks quietly.

She looks him straight in the eye. “You don’t act like someone who wants to be alive.”

It’s like she set off a bomb in his brain. Memories, and the feelings attached to them, emerge—Elle handcuffed to a seat, a teenager with a rifle, a blinding headache, Maeve and blood on the warehouse floor.

“Here’s what I see,” she says. “I see a man who’s been through so, so much. Your mother is mentally ill, your father left--”

His father is packing a suitcase. Spencer doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do or say, so he falls back on what he knows.

“Statistically, children who grow up in two-parent households attain three more years of higher education than children from single-parent households.”

It doesn’t help. “We’re not statistics, Spencer.”

“Your file says she’s staying at an institution, and with your father out of the picture, I can only assume you were the one who had her admitted--”

“Spencer, please don’t do this to me!” she cries as she’s escorted out of the house by Bennington Sanitarium’s transport staff.

“A few years into your work here at the FBI, you were kidnapped, tortured and drugged--”

He’s tired and cold and his whole body aches. Tobias—the real Tobias—looms over him with a syringe.

“Please. I don’t want it,” he pleads of his captor. “I don’t want it, please.”

The needle punctures his skin regardless.

“—you were held hostage by a cult leader--”

Emily sits across from him on the plane with a black eye. “What Cyrus did to me is not your fault.”

He pretends to agree.

“—you went through the death and reappearance of Agent Prentiss--”

He’s tried to make it clear to Jennifer that he wants to be left alone, but she won’t stop trying to talk about it with him, and he’s had enough.

“I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”

“—and your girlfriend was shot in front of you.”

“Who’s Thomas Merton? Who is he?” Diane demands, gun pressed against Maeve’s head.

“He’s the one thing you can never take from us,” Maeve replies, and Spencer’s heart drops. Thomas Merton is Maeve’s way of saying goodbye—she’s giving up.

“Wait!” he cries out, but it’s too late.

“This is just some of the more traumatic stuff. And then there’s what happened last month, which is why you’re here. You present a face of not being bothered by all of this, because that’s what you’ve been doing all your life, but I think you are bothered. You really, really are. And you don’t want to admit to anyone just how much it all has affected you. Maybe you don’t even want yourself to know.” Her expression and tone of voice are certain.

Spencer can’t take it anymore. The whirlwind of emotions and memories is overwhelming.

“The number of times you’ve almost died is staggering--”

“Yeah, and sometimes I wish I had!” He glares at her, breathing heavily. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

But she doesn’t seem intimidated or alarmed at all. She leans back in her armchair. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

The response only serves to make him angrier. She questioned him relentlessly and made him admit something he swore in the dark hours of sleepless nights that he’d never think again, never voice, let alone admit to anyone. She forced it out of him, forced. She made him say it against his will.

So why does he feel a sense of relief?

“I…” Tears well up in his eyes—real ones this time. “I’m done,” he chokes out.

He pushes himself off of the couch and out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

---

He storms in Hotch’s office and demands to see a different psychologist. But she was one step ahead of him—a few hours before the appointment, she had emailed Hotch and told him that under no circumstances should Spencer be allowed to get a clearance from someone else.

“And you’re going to believe her?” he cries.

“She’s doing her job, Reid.”

“You barely know her! You’ve known me for a decade!”

“Yes, I have,” Hotch agrees. “And you’ve told me yourself that you’ve fooled psychologists and therapists before. So if this one is saying you’re not ready yet, I’m inclined to believe her.”

Spencer just stares at him, but as usual, Hotch doesn’t blink.

“Unbelievable,” Spencer eventually mutters.

“Take the rest of the day off,” Hotch replies, glancing down at fists Spencer hadn’t realized he was clenching.

“Fine.”

Too agitated to stand in the elevator, he takes the stairs. As he stomps down them, he swears he’ll never go back to her office, even if it means never going into the field again.

A week passes, then two, and he hasn’t seen the psychologist since. But he doesn’t feel any better—he actually feels worse. It’s like her words broke a dam in his mind, in his gut, and feelings of unease and uncertainty won’t pass. It keeps him up at night. Her words echo in his head. “You don’t act like someone who wants to be alive.”

Spencer’s had yet another sleepless night and is struggling not to doze off at his desk despite the coffee he’s drinking. He stands up with the intention of splashing some water from the bathroom sink on his face, but his feet take him somewhere else.

He stares at the nameplate on the door. He swore he’d never go back, yet he feels compelled to knock.

It only takes her a few moments to answer. “Dr. Reid. Can I help you?” she asks.

“I…” He sighs. “Are you busy?”

“No. Come on in.” She steps to the side, opening the door wider to let him pass. He sits down on the couch.

She waits patiently. She doesn’t rush him. She lets him speak first.

He wrings his hands in his lap, staring down at them. “Something you said is bothering me.”

“What was it?”

“About… living,” he admits quietly. “I… I think you might have been right.”

When he gets the courage to glance up at her, he finds a soft smile on her face. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Spencer hadn’t realized he was expecting judgment and disdain until it didn’t happen. His shoulders slump down in relief. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I think I would.”

---

“You’re still thinking about her, aren’t you?”

Spencer looks up from his paperwork, slightly out of it, to find Derek watching him. His coworker had, indeed, caught him thinking about her again. His psychologist. Well, former psychologist. After his second session back with her, she’d handed over a clearance form and a referral to a therapist outside the bureau to see long-term.

“And you better follow up with that,” she’d told him, the corner of her mouth turning up despite her serious tone of voice. “I’ll know if you don’t.”

He’d promised that he would, and had followed through. But despite the progress he was making with the new therapist, he was feeling a little disappointed that he didn’t get to see her anymore. He only saw her in passing, sometimes in the elevator or walking down the hallways of the building. They would exchange hellos, she would ask how he was doing, then give him a little wave as she left. Each time his heart would skip a beat, and he’d feel an urge to follow her to wherever she was going.

Yet he hadn’t quite realized why he seemed to be preoccupied with her until a dream he had a few weeks ago—a dream in which he found himself kissing her. Despite being alone in his bedroom, he’d woken up feeling embarrassed. He promised himself that he would put her out of his mind. Having a crush on his psychologist? It was ridiculous.

But then he saw her in the elevator a few days later and he couldn’t help but analyze her body language. It was open, and she twirled her hair around a finger while she looked at him to ask him how he was. A few other people entered the elevator on the next floor, but her attention remained on him. They were subtle signs, but signs that he recognized nonetheless—signs of attraction. And once he started seeing them, he couldn’t stop.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Spencer tells Derek, picking back up the pen he hadn’t noticed he dropped.

“You can’t pull that on me, kid,” he replies. “It’s your psychologist. You can’t stop thinking about her, can you?”

Spencer sighs. “So what if I can’t?”

“So go ask her out already!” Derek says like it’s obvious.

“You don’t think that’s just a little inappropriate?”

“You’re not seeing her as a client anymore, are you?” he points out. “Go for it, kid. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Spencer takes the advice—as soon as Derek said it, he knew he was right. He would regret not taking a chance on her and the connection he felt. Sure, she’d helped him with therapy, but it went deeper than that. It feels like she knows him.

He leaves the bullpen ten minutes early that evening, hoping to catch her before she leaves for the day. On her doorstep, he feels just as nervous as he did on the day he admitted that she was right, but it’s a different kind of nervous. An excited nervous. He knocks on the door.

She’s surprised when she seems him. He watches as her pupils dilate, and it boosts his confidence. “Dr. Reid. Can I help you?”

“You can. I’d like to talk,” he says.

“Oh. Well, I guess I could do that,” she says. “I thought things were going well with the therapist I referred you to, though.”

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t mean I want an appointment.”

Her eyebrows come together in confusion. “Okay, then, what do you want?”

Spencer doesn’t hesitate. “I want to take you out to dinner.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I really like you, and I think we’re meant to be together,” he replies, voice softening a bit.

She pauses before answering. When she does, her voice is gentle. “Dr. Reid, sometimes a medical professional’s care can start to feel like affection over a period of time, but--”

“No one has ever listened to me like you do,” he interrupts.

“That’s my job,” she points out.

“I’ve seen therapists before, but none of them have been like you,” he counters. “You understand me.”

She sighs. “Well, I’m glad I was a good fit and was able to help you. But that doesn’t mean that I see you as anything more than a client.”

“You’re lying.”

“Excuse me?”

“You do feel something more for me,” he says firmly, but then backtracks a little. “Well, I know you’re attracted to me at least.”

She blinks and shakes her head slightly, take aback. “Dr. Reid, this is not appropriate--”

“Please call me Spencer,” he says, then jumps into his explanation. “See, when we’re attracted to someone, our bodies display involuntary signals, and I’ve seen you do some of them when you’re around me. Whenever we run into each other here, your body will turn a little towards me and you’ll play with your hair. Your attention is almost entirely focused on me. And, when you see me, your pupils dilate. They did it when you opened the door just a few minutes ago. Oh, and I’m attracted to you, by the way,” he adds as he realizes how one-sided he’s been. “I imagine my pupils probably dilate when I see you, too.”

Her mouth opens and closes a few times, like she wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say. She looks flustered, and he wonders if maybe he’s pushed it too far or said too much, but he can’t turn back now. “So, please, let me take you out,” he says quietly. “Just… just give it a chance.”

She bites her lip and looks at the ground. There’s a crease between her eyebrows, which he’s come to learn means she’s thinking. She speaks seriously when she looks back up. “If I go out with you, I can’t treat you anymore. If you ever need another evaluation or session, you’d have to get it from someone else.”

“I know,” he says. “I get along well with the therapist you referred me to, though. And having to get clearance from a different psychologist at the bureau is something I’m willing to give up in favor of getting to know you better.”

She considers him. “You’re serious about this,” she states.

It’s not a question, but he answers it anyways. “I am.”

She tilts her head to the side, eyes unfocusing as she ponders the situation. Eventually, she says, “Let me think about it.”

It’s not exactly the answer he was hoping for, but he’ll take it.

---

It’s only six PM, but Spencer is already exhausted. He unlocks his apartment door, fully intending to collapse onto his bed, but instead receives a pleasant surprise in the form of his girlfriend waiting for him on the couch. He can’t help but smile.

“Sweetie, what are you doing here?” he asks, then adds, “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Penelope told me it was a bit of a rough case,” she replies. “And I missed you.”

She holds out her arms and he takes the invitation, joining her on the couch and laying down between her legs, placing his head on her chest. “I missed you, too.”

Her next words are overly familiar. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Hey, we agreed to no therapy,” he says. “Something about I can’t be your client anymore?”

She huffs. “This isn’t therapy. This is being a good partner.”

Spencer smiles into the fabric of her shirt, snuggling in closer. “I know, I’m just teasing you. I don’t need to talk about the case,” he says, finally answering her original question. “I feel fine now that I’m here with you.”

She lets out a pleased hum and starts running her fingers through his hair. “I ordered take-out for dinner, by the way.”

“Where from?”

“You know where.”

A wide grin spreads across his face. She must have ordered take-out from the restaurant he took her to on their first date. He lifts his head to look her in the eye. “Aren’t you glad you said yes to me all those months ago?”

“Oh, I suppose,” she says with pretend annoyance, rolling her eyes.

Then she kisses him.

Spencer’s never been so happy to be alive.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

please note that i DO NOT ENDORSE asking out your therapist/former therapist. this is fanfiction. thank you.

general taglist: @calm-and-doctor​ , @spencerreid9​

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Corruption & Trust

Stormbringer and bsd spoilers in general ahead so read at your own risk!!

So in this post I will be listing all the times Chuuya used corruption and all the times Dazai was there to stop it. I will also go into depth as to why Chuuya trusts Dazai when it comes to having to use corruption and I will also emphazise on Dazai's care and how he takes corruption seriously.

1. First time using corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old

"Isn't it an unpleasant sight, Chuuya."

It was a young boy. This young boy casually caught hold of Chuuya's arm and lifted it up. With this movement, the gravitational field which had occured around them disappered immediatly. As well as Chuuya’s agony.

"Y...You..."

"You can't even die gracefully can you?" the young boy said in a raspy voice as he heaved Chuuya on his shoulders. He set off to walk.

Alright so this was the first time Chuuya's corruption was ever activated, after Dazai nullifies it and carries Chuuya on his back, he drops him off outside the bar were Chuuya's friends lay dead. He took him there instead of taking him directly to the port mafia quarters.

Why did he do that exactly? If Dazai doesn't care for Chuuya, then why did he give Chuuya the opportunity to pay farewell to his dying friends?

It's actually sort of funny because I don't really think Dazai really realizes or accepts that he feels a certain connection with Chuuya and therefore looks after him.

2. Second time using Corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old (obviously, its still the same light novel lol)

After losing his strength, Chuuya drifted in the air for a few seconds, then lost the black wings on his back and slowly fell.

Dazai caught his body.

From the spot where Dazai touched, the nulification skill was activated.

The self-contradictory skill that supports the energy of the singular point receded, and the output of the singular point decreased. Eventually, it converged and the "gate" closed. The red imprints disappeared from Chuya's whole body. Eventually, the gravitational field disappeared and the complete silence was restored.

“Good job, Chuuya." Dazai chuckled, looking at Chuuya he was holding in his arms. "I forgot to bring my ink pen, so I'll spare you from having your face scribbled."

As much as it looks like this is from a fanfiction, I can assure you that it's an actual passage from stormbringer.

I can't really say much except the fact that Dazai is being extremely soft here.

And this was the conversation Dazai and Chuuya shared beforehand:

"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."

"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."

"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."

"What?"

"I told you before right? the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."

The time had stopped.

Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.

"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."

Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.

Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

After this exchange, Chuuya does decide on using corruption. I have talked about this section on a previous post of mine, and I just love it so much. For starters, I think this conversation that these two shared is very important to their characters.

For Chuuya, it shows us how undeniably selfless he is. He would rather save the people of Yokahama instead of finding out something that meant a lot to him. He sacrificed his own desires to save the people he cares about.

For Dazai its a completely different story, in this exchange Dazai was able to openly express genuine concern for his partner. He also understands the gravity of the decision Chuuya has to take and therefore leaves the decision up to him.

Third time using corruption: Dragon's Head Conflict

Chuuya and Dazai' s age: 16 yrs old

During this one, Chuuya demands to know where his friends are, and Shibusawa says all six of them killed themselves after being caught. Enraged, Chuuya activates Corruption which ultimatley ended the 88 day conflict.

There isn't much to say about Dazai and Chuuya here since there isn't really an aftermath on this occasion but I bealive this picture is enough.

Before reading the DA manga, I genuienly thought that the only time Chuuya ever rested on Dazai's lap was when they were 22 but this proved me wrong.

I mean this is a minimal thing to point out but if Dazai disregarded Chuuya he would've just left him there, right? But instead he remained with Chuuya and allowed him to rest on his lap, in the picture you can also see he is putting Chuuya's hat back on. It's such a simple gesture but it shows us how caring Dazai can be when it comes to Chuuya using corruption.

Fourth time using corruption: Lovecraft Battle, Double Black reunion

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22 yrs old

This is personally one of my favorite times in which Chuuya uses corruption. The fact that these two had not been working together for 4 years yet they still managed to not only accomplish their mission, but mantain their trust for one another.

I find what Chuuya says here extremely ironic because if anything, the choice has always been up to him. Dazai always uses corruption as a last-resort trick and its always Chuuya who makes the final decision of using it or not, even in a life or death situation Dazai won't take it upon himself to force Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not, and hes always willing to come up with an alternative plan in case Chuuya refuses. (an example of this is when Chuuya used corruption for the 2nd time in SB).

I think the reason as to why Dazai takes corruption extremely seriously is because during stormbringer he was the first person to even see Chuuya use corruption and also the person who understood how corruption will always be sort of like a burden to Chuuya, since it was thanks to corruption that his "am I human?" question stayed unanswered.

He knows how it feels to struggle with your own humanity and he doesn't want for Chuuya (who he literally sees as human), to hold that inner conflict with himself because of corruption.

Anyways, Chuuya decides to go through corruption trusting that Dazai will be there to nullify it.

And of course, Dazai does nullify it.

And after Dazai nullifies corruption, we get this very touching moment between both of them.

This is the first time Chuuya openly admits to trusting Dazai, although it was always evident that he trusts him, I just love how open he is being here.

Also the light punch he gives to Dazai's chest is such a sweet gesture, I see it as a silent way for Chuuya to say "I trust you because after all this time I still see you as my partner."

Dazai's smile in that small pannel is one of the most genuine expression we have gotten out of him. What he says is also a very sweet, I love that he calls him partner. The fact that these two are literally in rival organizations yet Dazai still calls him partner, it shows us that even after all these years he still can't help but see him the same way as he has always done.

Actually in Japanese he calls him "Aibou" and from my understanding, when you use the term Aibou it's for someone who you consider yourself to be close with. It means "partner" like in english but it holds a deeper meaning. If Dazai used the word "nakama" it would have been a very diffrent story since it means partner as well but it isn't used for someone you share a significant connection with. Asagiri's play with words here says a lot.

Fifth time using corruption: Dead Apple

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22yrs old.

Of course I have to talk about one of the most iconic moments in the history of Soukoku.

Chuuya uses corruption to save Dazai, even if Ango says that he's dead for sure. Something I find very intresting here though is that Chuuya screams for Dazai while he is on corruption, he is obviously not supposed to be self concious about the whole situation, while on Corruption clearly he is not supposed to be in sane state of mind, as we all here know, Chuuya loses control and does not have the track of reality while under his own ability but this time, while using corruption, the one and only thing that was on his mind was "Dazai."

It wasn't only Chuuya who entrusted his life to Dazai, Dazai too entrusted his life in Chuuya's hands. When Dazai came up with this plan, he was more than certain that Chuuya was going to save him. And I think a tumblr blog pointed this out but when Chuuya uses curroption, he cannot control his strength, but when he had to punch Dazai he did it lightly, which is strange considering he was using curroption and it would've made a lot more sence if Dazai ended up decapitated due to being punched by a literal god. Dazai had to have faith in the fact that Chuuya will somehow be able to control corruption, even if its just a little bit.

Afterwards when Chuuya manages to rescue Dazai, Dazai gently touches his cheek to nullify corruption and greets him with, "You used Corruption believing in me? I am so touched I could cry." Chuuya groans, and replies that yes he did, that he believed in his disgusting vitality and craftiness.

When they both fall to the ground, Dazai forces Chuuya to rest in his lap because he didn't want to have to protect him from this situation since the fog is still up and Chuuya himself is all worn out and wouldn't be able to fight. But heres the thing, both Chuuya and Dazai's abilities can't be seperated by the fog. I mean Dazai's ability is nulification so it basically cancels out, and Chuuya hosts a literal god inside him so it isn't really an ability if you know what I mean.

So in reality, Dazai just wanted Chuuya to rest. Dazai could've literally just left Chuuya in the fog if he was only using him for his goals, but he was genuienly appreciating Chuuya's trust in him. The way Dazai's hand is resting on Chuuya's hair is a nice gesture too, he is greatful for him and he is moved that someone trusts him, it is shown throughout the Fifthteen and SB light novel that no one trusted Dazai and how most were afraid to even approach him. And in the ADA, everyone is somewhat warry around him (excluding Atsushi ofc). But Chuuya literally puts his life on the line trusting that Dazai will always be there to save him. He trusts him greatly and Dazai knows that, and I think its pretty clear to us that he would never want to break that trust.

The fact that Chuuya trusts Dazai even after he left the Port Mafia without an explanation or goodbye shows us how strong their bond is. Chuuya most likely trusts Dazai because deep down he knows that he isn't using Chuuya's ability out of his own selifshness, a part of him is aware that Dazai uses corruption as a last resort but he just doesn't want to admit it, and I feel like he also trusts him subconciously because of how gentle Dazai is after Chuuya uses corruption.

I really hope we get to see more of these "corruption moments" because in all honesty, these moments are the ones that bring out the most vulenrability for both characters. The moment corruption is used, we see the inmeasurable amount of trust and care these two have for each other that they won't show in other situations. During these times it always shines a very open and bittersweet light on their bond and I love it so much.

[xoxo-teddybear]

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 1

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings - Angst, Physical Harm, Cursing, accused Cheating, Katsuki’s insecurities

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my first writing piece but this has been stuck in my mind since v-day is coming up so I had to get it out. Plz enjoy!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: Y/N is so busy around Valentine’s, her lack of attention towards her Pomeranian is causing him to freak out and do the worst of the worst

Love is in the air! The birds are singing, The breeze is blowing, the setting sun is shining, and the explosive teen is.....well, bruting.

Can you blame him though? Y/N’s been a little distant ever since February started. Even right now, instead of enjoying their time together in a quiet park, she’s staring down at her phone doing who knows what.

Why? Was he not good enough? Has she gotten tired of him? They’ve only been together for a little over a year. Is she talking to someon- no. Katsuki stopped himself from thinking like that. There’s no way his precious teddy bear would ever do that. Not only that, he was the best there is. Why would she even try to go?

“You dumbass. You’re missing this.” Bakugou sighed. “Huh? What? Missing what?” Y/N looked around looking for whatever “this” was until Bakugou grabbed her chin to force her to look him in the eyes. “THIS DUMBASS! US! You’re so focused on that dumb phone. Jeez, can’t a guy just get his girl’s attention.” Bakugou said dramatically.

It wasn’t that Y/N wasn’t giving him attention, it’s that it wasn’t the same. Yea she right there snuggled into his arm. And yea she was petting his hair just the way he liked. And YES, she was peppering his face with kisses from time to time. But it all felt off? Like only half her energy was put into the love and affection.

“Suki, aren’t u being a little dramatic. I’m right here with you baby. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. Come here dummy.” And as Y/N pulls Bakugou in for a tighter hug all he can do is release a “hmph” while falling into it...until her phone went (ding!) once again. And she went to check it. Once again.

Bakugou was getting tired so he got up and suggested they’d head back to UA. Y/N only got up and began to walk beside him, hand in hand, while still checking her phone time to time. And Bakugou was getting sick of it

*Wtf is she doing on that piece of junk? What could be so important she would half ass our entire evening together? .....Could she possibly be talking to someone else?............no.* Bakugou let those negative thoughts die down as they continued their journey back.

——————————————————————————

A few days later

“COME ON!!” Bakugou screamed as he realeased a blast towards Kirishima. When Bakugou invited him to train, The red head initially thought it was to ...you know..TRAIN. But after some time, the blonde’s best friend began to see the bigger picture.

“Dude. What’s up with you man? We always go full on during training, but it’s not even like you’re trying to hit me. It feels like you’re just taking your anger out on me.” Kirishima said.

“Congrats on noticing shitty hair, I’m glad somebody’s noticing my damn mood.” Weirded out by his friend’s unusual openness, the red head continued to ask.

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“But you just-“

“NOPE!”

Bakugou exclaimed as he began to gather his stuff to leave the training area. “BAKUGOU!” Kiri shouted. “WHAT!” “.......it’s Y/N isn’t it?”

Upon hearing that, the blonde turned to look at his best friend with this sad puppy dog look. And man, if Katsuki had doggy ears, everyone would see how low they’d go. His best friend didn’t need to see it though, he could tell those ears would be 6 ft under if they were actually there bc there’s nothing hiding Katsuki’s vulnerability when it comes to Y/N. As the two best friends go to sit on the bleachers, Bakugou takes a deep breath before saying his thoughts.

“I think Y/N is cheating on me.”

“................HUH???!!!!”

Kirishima went from “caring and considerate” to “WHATDIDHESAYYY” in seconds. Y/N L/N?? Cheating?? Ok. Y/N was one fiesty girl, and she definitely had sass, power, attitude, and a little mischief, but she also had kindness, compassion, consideration, and honesty flowing though her. Not to mention extreme loyalty. There’s no way.

“Look man, with all due respect, I think you’ve finally lost it.” The red head laughed. “I’m being serious shitty hair.” The blonde stated. “She’s been so distracted lately. She’s always with me but it’s like her mind is also somewhere else. And not to mention that damn phone she’s always on now. She can’t go 30 minutes without checking it at least twice. And not only that, when she does leave to do whatever, she’s gone for hours at a time! What’s a guy supposed to think with all of that?! I mean it’d make sense if she wanted to leave. I get it, I can get loud, and yell, and I get angry a lot but.. she knows I never mean it, right? I call her a dumbass like i do everyone else...ugh but she isn’t just everyone else, she’s my girlfriend and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.....SO WHY TF IS SHE CHEATIN-“ before the blonde could continue, his best friend cut him off.

“BAKUGOU” “WHAT??!!” “....talk to her.” Kirishima said. “What?” Bakugou asked. Kirishima continued. “Cheating is a real sensitive topic in a relationship. I don’t wanna give my opinion on something that could ruin something amazing. C’mon man, we both know Y/N isn’t like that but who am I to tell you what to do. I wanna help, I do, but I think it’s best if you go to her with all this. Honestly though, if you asked me, Y/N would be the last person I’d ever think of when it came to cheating on ANYTHING. Especially the guy she cares so much about.” And with that last sentence, Kirishima stood up from his spot and pat Bakugou on his shoulder before exiting.

With Bakugou left with nothing but his thoughts and Kirishima’s advice, he left and headed straight towards your room.

——————————————————————————

“Shut up!” You excitingly screamed though the phone. “You really found the last part?”

“Yup, it only took about 6 different stores across the entire city.” Shinsou sarcastically replied. “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know and I appreciate it. Katsuki’s gonna love his gift!” You said.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you’ve been preparing only the best Valentine’s Day surprise for the best boyfriend in the world. You’ve been so busy planning your surprise that I guess you could say you haven’t been giving Katsuki the massive amount of attention he’s used to from you, but you can definitely say it’ll all be worth it when he sees one of his presents that you’ve been working on. A silencer for his gauntlet blasts that not only decreases the volume of his attacks, but also increases his attack power. You remember how Bakugou had vented about his attacks being too loud that they scare people, but when he tried to keep them quiet, the attack isn’t as powerful so saving can be quite difficult. He only spoke about it once, but you could see the look on his face whenever he was out using his quirk around civilians. So why not give him a device that’ll help with his loud little problem. Now were you a support class student who knew how to make support items? Hell no. But were you a loving girlfriend willing to give her man the best Valentine’s Day ever? Hell yeah.

The piece of gear would’ve been easier to make IF it weren’t for a pesky piece of the project getting destroyed by Shinsou after he made Denki electrocute himself while he was right next to your prototype on the table. So to make it up to you, Shinsou went all around town looking for the piece you needed to complete your support item for Katsuki. Finally, all pieces had come together.

“He better. That damn bastard doesn’t know how amazing his girlfriend is. Instead of ignoring his ass these past few weeks, you sent ME to get all this shit for you so you could keep your precious Pomeranian happy.” Shinsou said while rolling his baggy eyes.

As Bakugou approached the outside of your dorm room’s door, he heard your voice.

“You know, you’re so right. That Pomeranian is unaware of just exactly how amazing I am. I really could’ve left whenever but I stuck around.” You snorted. “Well I’m glad I had you with me through it all Shinsou.”

*Pomeranian? SHINSOU?!? Through IT ALL?!?!? YOU WERE WITH THAT PURPLE HAIRED, SLEEP DEPRIVED ASS MIND CONTROLLING FREAK?!?? AND YOU WERE WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME YOU’VE BEEN DATING BAKUGOU?!?*

Oh to say Katsuki was pissed was an understatement. He felt all these emotions hitting him all at once. Anger, Disgust, Pain, Betrayal. It all became too much for him before Katsuki ran away from your down with his bed down and silent tears hitting the floor. When he let himself fall to the floor in the privacy of his room he screamed into his hands. His first love, his first real relationship, his teddy bear betraying his love, loyalty, and trust for over an entire year. After hours of crying, Katsuki was able to pull himself into bed. He couldn’t even bring himself to shower even though he spent all that time in the gym with Kirishima. He just wanted to sleep to escape reality. As he looked at his phone, he saw 1 missed call from Y/N, and 1 text saying “Goodnight love💗💥!” Bakugou scoffed at the text. Figuring u must be texting Shinsou the same thing. As Bakugou placed his phone down, an evil thought came to mind. Ruin her.

Bakugou smirked to himself as he had this pyscho and sinister look on his face. He would ruin Y/N. They haven’t officially broken up yet, so he could hurt her just as she hurt him. And Bakugou wasn’t stupid or so he thought he’s aware Valentine’s is coming up, so why not break little Y/N L/N’s heart on a day dedicated to nothing but love and happiness. It’ll be the perfect revenge on a little satin like her. Bakugou finally turned on his side with an evil, satisfied smile, and fat tears in his eyes once more.

——————————————————————————

The next morning, Katsuki got up with a broken heart, but he figured if he wanted his plan to work, he had to fake this smile. Getting up, getting ready, and getting dressed was business as usual, but meeting up with Y/N in the morning was now off the schedule. Instead of going into her room to check on her like he usually does, he just went straight to breakfast and straight to class without speaking to anyone.

With Class 1-A seated and Mr.Aizawa at the head of the classroom, the students can finally start their first lesson of the day. Until, the door slid wide open. There stood an exhausted and quite frankly dishelved Y/N. “My apologies sensei. I was up late last night and overslept. Please forgive me.” Y/N said as she bowed her head in sorry. “Just take your seat L/N.” The tired eye teacher said.

As Y/N walked to her desk, she noticed Bakugou wouldn’t even glance her way. She was a little thrown off since it would be normal for him to at least give her a judgemental look for sleeping in, but no. Nothing.

Bakugou on the other hand was writhing in agony. Oh how he wanted to check on Y/N and make sure everything was fine, but that voice in the back of his head couldn’t help but tell him to ignore her since she’s a cheater. She may have been the girl he’s loved dearest, but she was also the one causing his heart to shatter.

After a few classes, Y/N tried to approach Bakugou several times, but each time he brushed her off. And when the bell finally rang for lunch, you can bet Katsuki was the first one out the door. Y/N followed him of course, in worry and concern.

“Babe! Baby! Katsuuu!!! KATSUKII!” Y/N whined for her boyfriend to at least look at her but once again. Nothing. Bakugou wanted to hug her and hold her tight but he couldn’t. Not after what she’s done. Right before Bakugou entered the cafeteria, Y/N pulled him aside and held onto his wrists.

“Baby? Hey, what’s up with you? I’ve been calling your name and trying to talk to you but you keep brushing me off. You also didn’t stop by this morning. Is something wrong, love?” Y/N was hoping for something. ANYTHING at this point. And it was like the gods heard her prayer because she definitely got....something. “My bad.” The blonde haired boy dryly replied. “....Oh, um, ok suki.” The poor girl just thought her dear boyfriend was having a bad day, so she just left it alone and let him go. But still, even on his worse days he would at least visit her in the mornings. As they sat down with the bakusquad, the entire table noticed how Bakugou sat up and moved across from Y/N after she chose to sit next to him like usual. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Kirishima could already feel what had gone down. He at least knew his bro didn’t talk to his girl. Not manly at all.

——————————————————————————

Valentine’s Day

During lunch, Kirishima has finally decided to speak to Bakugou about this whole thing. He hasn’t been getting any updates since their time in the gym, so when it was just him and his best friend having lunch together, he went for it.

“Man what the hell is going on with you and Y/N? I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding her like crazy,” Kirishima said while stuffing his face, nervous about the answer. “I was right all along.” The blonde sadly spoke. “She’s been cheating on me since the start of our entire relationship. And with that baggy eyed freak from 1-B.”

Kirishima couldnt believe what he was hearing. He almost choked on his food. Y/N was actually cheating. I guess people don’t know people as well as he thought. “.....wow...I’m sorry man.” The red haired friend said. He was at a lost for words and didn’t know what else to say. *sigh* “don’t be. It all goes down tonight.” Bakugou said with a sad smile. “What do you mean?” His friend asked. The blonde looked at him right in his red eyes. “I’m breaking her heart tonight, on the one day of the year dedicated to love.”

Meanwhile

Instead of going to lunch, Y/N spent her time finishing up Katsuki’s surprise in his room. Yeah, he’s been having a bad past few days so why not bring him a smile with these amazing gifts on the day of love. Although Y/N didn’t really feel the love today (due to Katsuki again being so distant and ignoring her “good morning blasty💥💗!” And “Happy Valentine’s Day my love♥️!” Texts) she was determined to make sure Katsuki knew just exactly how much she loved him. She was almost done setting up in his room. Rose petals on the bed, Candles everywhere, 4 different gifts including his new support item made by you, his favorite meal is going to be set here on his table, and you and him together spending every loving second with each other. Y/N didn’t realize that because of her setup, she missed the entire rest of the day. “Meh, so worth it when I see the look on Suki’s face.” Tonight is going to be perfect.....or so you thought.

You didn’t expect to find Katsuki in your room, sitting on the edge of you bed waiting for you with his head hanging low and his shoulders slumped.

*maybe he has a surprise for me....? Yea that has to be it!* Y/N happily thought as she closed the door.

“Suki!! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Y/N said with all the love in her heart as she ran and jumped on the boy for a hug. But Bakugou didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He just glanced back up at her, giving her this cold stare. Y/N was too busy professing her undying love for her boyfriend to even notice his scary silence. “Suki I’m really glad it’s you who I have in my life,” the love sicken girl bashfully spoke while looking at the ground. “You make me so happy and I feel so blessed being able to spend my life with you in it. I really hope you know just how much I care and lov-“ Bakugou couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore. He pushed Y/N off of him just before she could say those 3 words that would get him to break.

“Hey! Suki? Why would you do that?!” Y/N exclaimed while standing back up. “I hate you.” The blonde spoke coldly. As those words left his mouth, Y/N heart and world were falling apart. Her eyes went wide open and her jaw slightly dropped. As she was about to say something else, Katsuki cut her off with “I’m breaking up with your dumbass. Right here. Right now!” Bakugou yelled. Y/N was in shock. She felt hurt, pain, she was just feeling so broken.

As tears filled her eyes, she asked “w-why?” as she tried to reach out to him. “Why? WHY?!” Bakugou screamed as he stood up above her slapping her hand away. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY, Y/N. YOU’RE A FUCKING CHEATER, THATS WHY!” The blonde yelled in her face. Y/N couldn’t believe it. He thought she was cheating? Why would she even do that? She already has the best person in the world for her so why? “DONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT “it didn’t mean anything, Suki!” BULLSHIT. I DONT GIVE A FUCK, CUZ YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AND PLAYING ME FOR A DAMN FOOL THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!” Bakugou went on as his voice began to crack while tears flowed down his porcelain face. “YOU LIED TO ME. I GAVE YOU MY ENTIRE BEING AND YOU FUCKING LIED. YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, I CANT BELIEVE I EVER LOVED A SORRY EXCUSE OF A PERSON LIKE YOU. I HATE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I SAW IN YOU!” Y/N’s heart hit the ground. No actually, it went 6 ft under because after all that he’s said, her heart is dead. Broken. In agony. “Suki I-“ “DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT L/N.” Hearing him refer to her with her family name hit so hard. “KATSUKI PLEASE! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I SWEA-“ as Y/N tried to reach out to him, he interrupted her again and pushed her hand away. “I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT!”

The blonde yelled, except this time....he didn’t only yell. The burning scent of smoke came into his nose and the loud explosion could be heard throughout the building. The product of what he just did came to him. He just attacked the love of his life. As much as Y/N hurt him, Katsuki still loved her with his everything. And the fact that he subconsciously attacked her broke him even more. Y/N’s screams of pain reached his ears, as he looked down and saw his precious teddy bear with a burned arm and fat tears on her face, crying in pain.

Bakugou ran down to her level to try and help her. “Y/N! Hey, hey teddy bear look I’m so-“ Y/N pushed him away before he could continue. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BAKUGOU?!” Ouch. His family name felt like poison coming from your tongue. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ “SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK FOR ONCE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Y/N screamed as she stood up to face him. “I DIDNT FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU. WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT WHEN YOU’RE THE BEST DAMN THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME?!..ah!” Y/N was cut off by the stinging of her wound, and Bakugou couldn’t do anything but stare. Y/N grabbed onto her wound before continuing. “I love you Bakugou. I wouldn’t even dream about doing wrong by you. I thought I was a good girlfriend or at least a good person-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted “No! Y/N you are, I just-“ “If I am then what the hell made you even think of me so lowly? What the hell did I do to make you question my loyalty? What the hell did I do that was worthy of you burning my fucking arm?!” Y/N cried out.

Silence fell upon the room. It felt like hours before anybody said anything. Both people had heavy tears in their face now. One crying because he realized he was an idiot and harmed the girl who did nothing wrong, and One crying because she did nothing wrong but ended up being a villain in her loved one’s life. Y/N broke the silence with a scoff.

“You know what Suki?” Y/N said looking him in the eyes. “Yes teddy bear?” Bakugou quickly replied with wide, desperate eyes upon hearing the loving nickname, thinking they would move on from this horrible incident. “Get the fuck out.” Y/N said in a low voice. Bakugou was shocked. He knew he fucked up horribly but after realizing the truth, he can’t leave you! He loves you too damn much for that! “What? Y/N please listen to me, I’m sor-“ “I DONT GIVE A FUCK! Leave..please.” The sad girl cried. Bakugou grabbed onto her shoulders begging her to not end this. “Y/N please! Please princess! I’m so fucking sorry! I’m an idiot, I know, and I definitely don’t deserve you but please I can’t lose you.” Bakugou said with tears falling down his face. “Please don’t do this to us. Please don’t do this to me, I’m BEGGING YOU.” “Bakugou-“ The sad boy cut you off, shaking his head, “ NO ITS SUKI. YOUR SUKI. YOUR KATSUKI.......please teddy bear I need you.......h-here let me help yo-”

You harshly pushed the boy off of you and as he tried to desperately go back to you, you used your quirk to keep him at bay. “Bakugou Katsuki. I’m leaving this room since you won’t, and I won’t come back until I know you’re out of my room.” Y/N began as she looked at him with cold, sad eyes. “From now on, you won’t have to worry about this bitch because I’ll stay out of your life, I swear. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, DONT EVEN TALK TO ME. Just leave me alone....we’re done.” And with that Y/N ran out of her room, and out of the building, needing to get away from the place for a little bit. She could deal with her wound later. She just needed to get away. Bakugou just stood there in sadness and shock. As much as he wanted to run after you, he figured he’d give you a little breather. You guys could fix things in the morning...right?

Bakugou waited an hour in your room waiting for you, but you were right. You really weren’t coming back until he left your private area. So that’s what he did. With a heavy heart, he picked himself up and dragged his feet back to his dorm. He looked like a mess. He knew he did. Messy hair, red swollen eyes, dry lips. His entire body screamed heartbroken. When he open the door, instant regret and love hit him at once. His room was covered with rose petals and flowers, there were candles everywhere, heart shaped balloons all around, he had 4 different boxes of gifts, and two plates of extra spicy curry was set on his table, obviously cold now. What caught his eye was that one of the gift boxes had a note attached to it. With tears in his eyes, he read it.

Hey Suki! It’s Valentine’s Day! I love you to the moon and back and so much more. There’s no words that are able to describe the way I feel about you. You drive me insane in all the right ways and I love it! Lol. I hope you like your Valentine’s Day surprise. I’ve been working for weeks on it, so I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. I know I’ve been kinda absent these past few days but I promise I’ll make it up to you love! Hopefully I can start with this gift that I’ve been working on. Enjoy your brand new grenade silencer! Made it myself just for you. There’s nothing else in the world like this. I love you Bakugou Katsuki!

(P.S. If Shinsou from 1-B gives you shit about it, it’s because I made him drag his ass everywhere to look for a missing part so I wouldn’t have to leave you so much)

XOXO, Your forever teddy bear <3

As he quickly opened the gift, he saw it. A silencer that would attach to his gauntlets to make the sound quieter and the blast even more powerful. It was incredible. You are incredible. He only ever mentioned the sound of his blasts once, and you listened and you fixed it.

Bakugou shook as tears began to fall onto the paper. He couldn’t believe it. Everything started coming together now. The reason you were so distracted was because you were setting this up for him. You were always on the phone because you were assembling pieces and ordering gifts for him. You weren’t cheating on him with Shinsou. You were making sure he could find something that you needed for him. Y/N L/N was truly the best girlfriend in the world. Scratch that, she is the best girlfriend in the world. No scratch that too, she’s just the best, period. And Bakugou’s idiotic self ruined everything for him. All because he couldn’t have a little faith in his teddy bear. As Katsuki cried and cried, he set everything aside.

He took the petals off his bed. He didn’t deserve it. He blew out the candles around his room. He didn’t deserve it. He popped the balloons, and ignored the food. He laid in bed with more tears than ever, and looked at the ceiling. He finally turned to his side to fall asleep, but not before grabbing the picture on his bedside nightstand. A picture of you and him. He remembers that picture oh so clearly. It was his birthday, and while he didn’t want to celebrate, you did everything in your power to make it the best one yet. And you did just that. Bakugou hugged that picture so tight, because he didn’t have you in his arms tonight. He didn’t think he would ever have you in his arms again. So Bakugou Katsuki continued to cry until he was asleep, escaping from the reality of him losing his love, his teddy bear, his princess, and his Y/N.

Bakugou Katsuki never lost, no. He’s always been ahead, always number one, always the best. He always won and achieved and nothing ever stopped him. Except this time, the only thing that stopped him and caused him to lose, was himself. He lost. He lost his everything. His world, his rock, his heart, his Y/N. He’s lost without her in his life, and at this point he thinks he’s lost at life. There was nothing that could fix him unless it was you coming back to him.

Bakugou Katsuki? He’s lost.

A/N: HOLY SHIT! That was my very first writing piece and it was just a Drabble of a thought I’ve been having. Sorry if it’s a little off and weird, I’m still new to writing but hopefully I’ll get better. This was NOT spell checked so my apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thx for the love!

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Chapter 3: Happy Little Accidents (Identities)

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AO3

@maribat-bdbwm

Marinette stared at the man in front of her, trying not to let her jaw drop. Sure she’d seen pictures of Bruce Wayne last night, Adrien made sure she was well educated on the man’s less than ideal fashion choices. But his choice of a sharp suit or his eyes that too closely matched hers weren’t why her jaw dropped. No, her jaw dropped because-

“Batman!” She says, in a wonderful moment of word association added to the man’s height and build. Mr. Wayne’s eyebrow quirks up and Marinette’s face instantly turns bright red as she hears the snickers of her classmates around her. Marinette immediately wishes that they would have left her and gone back to the bus without her, but no such luck. Instead they got to see her embarrass herself in front of her bio dad for the first time. Not that they knew that, but still. It was the principle of the thing. 

“I-” Mr. Wayne starts, but she cuts him off. 

“Oh, no, oh my god, I’m- no, I’m so, so sorry. I just, you’re- and you- and well yesterday, um, so I just, you seemed really familiar and I saw Batman yesterday so I said it and I shouldn't have and I'm so sorry I'm just freaking out cause my bi- ohhhhh….I mean-” Marinette rambles on, her blush darkening as she tries and fails to let out a coherent sentence in front of the man. She’s mercifully saved by the sharp blare of an akuma alert, the phones of every one of her classmates blaring at the same time. Mr. Wayne and the other employees in the lobby of Wayne Enterprises look confused, but Marinette is relieved. 

“What-” Mr. Wayne tries to ask, but is cut off yet again. 

“Oh well that’s not good gotta go call Paris-bye!” She yells, rushing away from the group and towards the bathrooms. She groans at the look Kaalki give her when she opens her purse. 

“That was a disaster.” They say simply with an unamused face. Marinette groans again. 

“Please don’t remind me. Tikki, spots on! Tikki, Kaalki, unify!” Marinette yells before calling a portal and falling into Paris, the awkward situation pushed to the back of her mind while she pours her focus into her Ladybug duties. 

---

Bruce Wayne was confused. And worried. But mostly confused. Or, the confusion overweighed the worry until he asked about the alarm on the French class’ phones. That’s when the worry began to take center stage. A supervillian? In Paris? For almost two years? Why was the League not informed? 

“Um, would you like to watch the battle, Monsieur Wayne?” A blonde boy asks, holding his phone out and rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous fashion. Bruce studies the boy for a moment and recognizes him as the one who hugged Miss Dupain Cheng the day prior. His daughter. Who is currently living in a city with a supervillain and no League intervention. Nodding, Bruce takes the phone and watches the battle, his horror growing. There was one hero, rushing around the scene, one of her pigtails singed and soot covering her face. What the hell kind of villain was this? And why did the hero look so small? Bruce flinches as the hero, Ladybug the comments called her, is thrown against a building roughly. He waits with baited breath until she stands back up, her face set in a grimace before she went on the offense with a vengenace. 

“Who is this villain? I’ve never heard of them?” Bruce asks Adrien, not bothering to look away from the fight. 

“I don’t know this one’s name, Akumas all have different names and powers.” Adrien replies. Bruce’ gaze snaps up to meet Adrien’s as his blood runs cold. All. As in, multiple. 

“How many villains?” He asks, thankful that his newly discovered daughter is currently in Gotham instead of Paris, a sentiment he never expected with the crime rates of his beloved city. 

“Oh, there’s only one villain. Hawkmoth. Akumas are just people who’ve had a bad day.” Adrien explains as if it’s a simple concept. 

“And what does that mean?” Bruce asks, feeling frustration creep into his neutral posture. 

“It means that what you’re seeing right now is a normal citizen who’s being controlled. Hawkmoth…. He has the power to control anyone who shows an extreme negative emotion. Heartbreak, anger, sadness, lonelines, anything negative can be used against you. We, Paris that is, don’t blame those who were akumatized. They can’t even remember what they did when they were under his control. It wouldn’t be fair to hold them accountable.” Adrien explains, and Bruce can’t help the feeling of complete and total helplessness that rushes over him. If he went to Paris, even with the intention of helping the hero in order to protect his daughter, he could become an even bigger obstacle. He could hurt her. He could hurt others. 

“Is that why the Justice League isn’t there?” Bruce asks, slightly amused at Adrien’s face rapidly changing from understanding to shocked. 

“I-um, probably? If you want more information, miraculousparis.org or the Ladyblog would be your best places for information.” Adrien offers. Bruce nods, mentally making a note to check out those sites later. 

“Very well. Thank you. I hope the rest of your trip to Gotham is enjoyable.” Bruce says, careful not to slip into a threatening tone. The boy hadn’t done anything to him, and while he might want to play the protective father, he knew it wasn’t his right. Not yet, anyways. Now he had a supervillain to destroy from behind the scenes. 

---

Opening a portal into her hotel room, Marinette sighs tiredly. The battle had been tiring, especially since she was on her own. Chat Noir had some kind of trip that he couldn’t get out of and had aplogized endlessly for it. She had reassured him that she could do it, but now… she knew she could do it but she really missed her partner. Letting both transformations drop, she sighs, relieved that the odd number of girls in their class allowed her to have her own room. Until a gasp filled her ears. She instantly shifts into a fighting position, shoulders tense as she stares at-

“Adrien?!” She yells in shock and confusion. What was he doing? In her hotel room? Without her? How did he even get a key? How was she supposed to explain this? Well, he did know the basics from his time as Aspik but-

“But you’re Multimouse!” Adrien yells before clapping his hand over his mouth, his cheeks instantly turning red. Marinette’s eyes widen. 

“How do you know about that?” She asks, panic rushing through her system. 

“Oh my god.” Adrien says, his eyes widening as he glances from Marinette to Tikki and back again. “Oh my god.”

“Please don’t tell anyone! I know you don’t owe me anything, but I just really don’t know if I can handle being the center of attention and then my family would be in danger and I know they wouldn’t approve because it’s dangerous and I-”

“THE TWO GIRLS I HAVE A CRUSH ON ARE THE SAME GIRL?” Adrien says, his eyes wide as he cuts off her rambling. 

“I- wait what?” Marinette sputters, completely shocked at this turn of events. 

“Well I’ve had a crush on Ladybug for forever and then like a month ago, I was talking to Plagg about how mad it made me that people weren’t listening to you and how hurt you were by the whole high road advice which was, honestly, not my best moment. And somehow, I started ranting about how pretty your eyes are and how kind and amazing you are and so then Plagg told me that that’s a crush, and I thought he was wrong. Until I saw you the next day and realized that he was right but then I felt bad because I felt like I was betraying Ladybug by having a crush on you instead, but Ladybug is you. Which makes sense, now that I think about it and-” Adrien’s cut off by Marinette covering his mouth with her hand, desperate to get him to stop talking. 

“Plagg?” She asks, jumping back from him as the Kwami flies out from Adrien’s pocket. 

“Good job kid, you broke pigtails.” He says, gesturing at Marinette who suddenly felt like the human version of the windows error screen. Could this trip get any weirder?

Next

Tag List: @vixen-uchiha @liquid-luck-00 @stainedglassm @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks 

[seriouslysnape]

Picture Perfect

__

Draco Malfoy x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Sexual implications (a lottttt of them)

A/N: I might do a part two to this...

Word Count: 1,635

“Like them? I love them.”

__

You watched with anticipation as Draco popped another one of the Bertie Botts Flavour Beans into his mouth. His sculpted jaw moved up and down as he chewed. His eyes suddenly shut tightly and his face contorted into disgust. You leaned forward a tad, curious to see what mystery flavor he had picked. He swallowed hard and coughed at the foul taste.

“Soap.” He sputtered, reaching for the glass of water on his bedside table.

You bursted into laughter, laughing even harder at the way he brought a hand to his chest as the taste dissipated from his tongue. He grinned at you from over the rim of his glass, taking another sip.

“Your turn.” He said. 

This was a game of sorts that you and Draco liked to play whenever the two of you made a trip to Hogsmeade. Honeydukes Sweets Shop was your absolute favorite place to go and make pleasurable purchases. There were endless rows of candies and other tooth rotting snacks that were your ultimate guilty pleasure. 

You were always sure to snag a new box of Bertie Botts Flavour Beans. You and Draco would sit in his private, prefect room and take turns selecting a bean and seeing which flavor you were bestowed with. You were snug in one of his Quidditch jumpers, your legs wrapped around his waist while the two of you sat on his bed. 

Draco was always less fortunate than you during this game.

You took a bean into your hand, taking a breath when you put it in your mouth. Your tense shoulders relaxed when you started chewing. A delicious, fruity taste flooded your tastebuds, a cheeky grin appearing on your face. Draco threw his head back in exasperation at the sight of you getting yet another good flavor.

“Again?” He asked.

You nodded.

“Cherry.” You smiled, swallowing the small candy.

Draco’s blonde eyebrows raised, a devious look crossing over his face. His hands rested on your thighs that were secured around him, leaning forward.

“Mmm. Do you mind sharing?” He smirked.

You hummed affirmatively, capturing his lips in a hot kiss. His tongue danced with yours, tasting your familiarity and the traces of cherry candy. His hands went to the side of your neck to bring you closer, while you gripped at the collar of his sweater. His kisses muffled your girly giggles, a chuckle vibrating out from his own chest. 

You tapped his shoulder to pause your make out session, a mumble of realization sounding out from your throat. He whined when you stopped kissing him, but based on the bright look on your face, you had something in mind. 

“I have something for you.” You announced in a playful way.

His gray eyes darkened a touch, his fingertips drumming on the skin of your leg. 

“Is that so?” He questioned, making guesses already in his head.

You were giddy with joy as you scrambled from his array of blankets and his comforter. You reached into your backpack, pulling out a solid black book with a red bow on it. It was a rather large book, about the size of his Care of Magical Creatures textbook. Draco felt a quick surge of panic. He was the worst about remembering holidays and birthdays, and he instantly thought that maybe he had forgotten something special.

“Don’t get mad if I have, but...did I miss something?” He asked.

You let out a snicker as you rejoined him on the bed. Ever since he had forgotten your birthday a few months ago, now he was always afraid he was going to miss something else. 

“You haven’t. This is just something I’ve been working on.” You bubbled up gleefully.

You set the book on his lap, watching as his eyes raked over the cover. He felt a warmth in his chest at being given a gift just because you cared. He pushed the bow off of the sides of the book, opening the cover to see a little note you had written for him, signed at the end with your name and everything. The thick pages indicated to him that it was a picture album. 

He turned to the first page, an unmistakable smile of jubilation appeared on his face. The first two pages each had four Polaroid like pictures secured evenly. You were smiling happily in each of the first several photos, wearing different outfits and in different locations. Draco’s heart was beating with exuberance in his chest as he looked through the first couple of pages. 

“Oh, darling. These are great,” He praised; “They’re positively stunning. They-” 

His sentence was cut short when he got about halfway through the pages, his voice getting caught in his throat when the pictures immediately took on a new theme. His smile faded into a shocked, slight jaw drop. The second half of the book was filled with sultry, boudoir style photos. His fingertips trailed over one in particular where you were wearing your school robes, but the only thing you were wearing underneath was one of Draco’s Slytherin uniform ties settled between your breasts. 

In other photos, you were wearing different sets of lingerie. There was one lacy, black colored set that almost made him faint right then and there. 

He was knocked speechless, unable to string together a single sentence. You were beginning to feel a little self conscious, and even a bit embarrassed that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. You had honestly expected him to completely attack you with feverish kisses or fuck you right then and there. The fact that he was completely silent was unsettling.

You fiddled with your hands in your lap, uncertainty in your tone as you spoke up to break the silence.

“I...do you like them?” You wondered, hoping to get a positive reaction.

Draco’s eyes never left the book. He turned to the next page, a rush of arousal flushing over him at one in particular where you were completely naked, stretched out on his bed and giving a look so seductive that it made Draco’s belly flutter. The sight of you naked on his bed...it was hot.

“Oh, baby. Darling, my love...” He breathed out, trying to complete at least one full thought; “Like them? I love them.” He almost growled.

You exhaled a breath of relief, feeling a sense of excitement as he continued to rake over them. He turned to a new set of pictures, a hot blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“You’re so stunning...so sexy.” He purred.

You laughed shyly, a bashful smile washing on your face. You rubbed his knee, your hand feeling like electricity on him. He couldn’t look away from the scandalous photos, each one becoming more dirty than the last. He was riled up and he was already looking forward to having this book at his disposal.

“Who took these?” He pondered, wondering which one of your lucky girl friends had the pleasure of seeing you actually model these outfits and strip down naked.

You just had to take advantage of this moment. You couldn’t help but mess with him just a little bit. You choked down the chuckle that would surely give you away.

“Potter.” You lied.

Draco’s head snapped up so fast and his eyes filled with an indescribable look of hot jealousy. He chest tightened, but relaxed when he realized you were kidding based off of your burst of laughter. He sighed harshly and rubbed his forehead as you laughed at his intense reaction. The thought of you asking Harry Potter to take these photos for you filled him with such a rage, but he even laughed it off when he knew you were joking.

“That’s not funny.” He said pointing a finger at you, and continuing to go through the photos.

Your giggles died off, and you answered him honestly.

“Pansy took them. That’s how I was able to sneak in here when you weren’t here.” You explained.

Draco nodded, his jaw still slightly ajar as he loomed over them. You patiently waited as he finished looking through them, his pupils dilating more and more by the minute. He closed the book once he was finished, his eyes finally flickering up to you. He had grown a very prevalent erection, and his eyes were filled with an intense amount of lust. You knew one thing for sure.

He was going to rock your world tonight.

Over the last year or so of dating you, he tried not to be so aggressive when it came to your sex life. He tried not to pounce on you every time he felt turned on. He knew that sex was supposed to be the ultimate romantic connection, and not always supposed to be rushed. After those pictures though, he wanted you BAD. You could tell he was antsy, waiting (and also praying) for you to give him the okay. 

You leaned in, your lips just barely brushing over his, before you brought your lips to his ear. You purposely let out a wanton moan in his ear, a tantalizing sound to your voice.

“Touch me, Draco. I know you want me.” 

In a millisecond, Draco was on you. He kissed you roughly and pushed you down onto his mattress. He kept your hands pinned above your head, leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck as he intentionally drew the most wonderful sounds out of you. 

“What are the chances of you wearing one of those hot little outfits under this jumper?” He said in a steamy voice.

You squirmed against his hands, but to no avail. You rolled your hips into his, trying to create some friction. You threw him a wink, your response sending him into full fuck mode.

“Why don’t you find out?”

[letarasstuff]

Hair goes nothing

(A/N): This was requested and is based on this and this post. I hope you love the pun in the title

Summary: How much does Spencer loves his daughter’s hair? Very much according to the following scenario

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, mentions of a dead loved one

Wordcount: 0.9k

✨Masterlist✨ ___________________________________

“Oh man, how am I supposed to chase an UnSub when my hair is in my mouth all the time?” Emily complains. The team is in a police station somewhere in the rural area of North Dakota, zeroing in on the man they suspect had done the crimes displayed on the bulletin boards.

Spencer looks at her confused as he fastens his kevlar vest. “Why don’t you tie them up then like you always do in the field?” The black haired woman lets out a huff. “I would, but my hair tie snapped earlier and I lost my extra one some time yesterday.”

Wordlessly Reid pulls up his sleeve, only to reveal several hair ties all in different colors. “Here, I got tons of them since (Y/N)’s hair started to grow like crazy.”

This wakes the interest of JJ. “Do you do her hair? Like, are you able to braid it or put it in a ponytail or bun? Is it long enough yet?” Spencer smiles at the thought of the long road he had to walk in order to be able to do anything better than a lopsided braid.

“Daddy, the kids made fun of me again”, the little girl pouted, sitting in the backseat in her elevated car seat. The father looked at her sadly through the rear view mirror. “What did they say, Sweetheart? Did you tell your teacher about it?”

Today was the last day of (Y/N)’s first week of preschool. “They say my hair looks funny. Daddy, does it really look funny?” Spencer parks the car in front of their apartment building and gets out to open the door on his daughter’s side.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter what the others say”, the father kneels in front of her. “Your hair, your eyes, your skin tone, your intelligence, everything about you is beautiful. Don’t let other people tell you anything different. Understood?” The girl nods, but tears build in their eyes.

With quick moves Spencer unbuckles her and lifts her out her seat, cradling her close to his chest. “Baby, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. These people don’t know anything about you. You hear me, they are not important.” But (Y/N) continues to cry.

Helplessly he rocks her and gets her backpack out to go up to their apartment. “Shh, Sweetheart, please don’t cry. Do you want me to come with you tomorrow and speak with your teacher? She can make the other kids stop.” “Is it because I don’t have a mommy?”

This makes Spencer halt unlocking the door. “What did you just say?” He asks genuinely shocked. (Y/N) never uttered any insecurities because of her missing parent before. Well, you also have to consider the fact that she is only two years old, albeit a smart two year old.

Quickly he opens the door and puts everything down in the hallway. Then the young doctor makes his way towards the kitchen and sets his daughter on the counter.

“Baby, just because your Mommy is already in heaven doesn’t mean the other kids are allowed to be mean to you”, Spencer holds eye contact with her to underline the seriousness of his statement.

“But all the mommys do the other’s hair and I got none and you can’t do my hair”, she hiccups through her tears. Spencer’s heart aches.

He puts a finger under her chin and makes her look up. “If you want me to, I can learn how to do your hair. What about a braid? Maybe in a few weeks I’m good enough to put your beautiful hair in two braids, like Pippi Longstocking?” At the end of his sentence he boops her nose and successfully gets a small laugh.

This was the beginning of several weeks consisting of many youtube videos, different hair products and several shed tears (from both sides funny enough).

“Yeah, yesterday before we were called away I finished an Elsa braid. Do you want to see it? I took a picture of it”, he answers excitedly, already pulling out his phone. The women gather around Spencer and swoon over the cute pictures of (Y/N)’s different hairstyles.

“This one is pretty cute. Can I borrow her? I can’t do the boy’s hair like that and I’m dying to comb a little girl’s hair. Maybe you can come over after this? I’m sure her hair also needs a trim.” A little wary Spencer accepts her offer.

Not even 24 hours later (Y/N) sits on a stool in JJ’s and Will’s household, the blonde behind her with a pair of scissors. “You don’t need to cut off too much, maybe just like this?” The father points at a length that seems like less than a centimeter.

“Spence, don’t worry. I only cut off as much as needed. Relax.” “That’s right, Daddy. Relax”, pipes (Y/N) up. Then slowly strand after strand JJ chops off the dead hair. Spencer spies over her shoulder whe whole time, watching her very move like a hawk.

“And we are done. You did so good, Sweetie”, she praises after the last strands have fallen down on the floor. Happily (Y/N) stands up on her stool and gives her a hug. “Thank you so much. Daddy was too nervous to do it himself. But don’t tell him, he is embarrassed about it”, she not so quietly whispers to her Aunt.

“Oh yeah, he is?” She asks with a look towards Spencer.

He only shrugs. What can he say? His daughter’s hair is too precious to be messed up.

Taglist:

All works:

@agentshortstacc

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl

Spencer Reid:

@calm-and-doctor

x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[melancholyshadow]

sunday’s with a solider || b. barnes

part one 

summary: after a good date with bucky, (y/n) figures out who she’s really getting involved with. 

pairing: bucky barnes x female!librarian!reader 

warnings: kissing (??), swearing

an: im honestly speechless, the first part of this series has 150+ notes! i’m so happy you guys liked it! i’m debating on make this a three or a four-part series, please let me know what you think, but there will definitely be at least another part. one of the next, or the next, will include some spice, if you know what i mean. and who do y’all want me to write about next? im thinking mr. steve rogers. 

tags: @biixlv​

“Please tell me you’re a booth person and not a table person.” You chuckled, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Uh, yeah.” He laughed and rolled his eyes at you. He began walking towards one of the booths. You followed happily behind him, scooting into the opposite side of the booth. He pulled off his hat and both his gloves, setting them on the seat next to him. You propped your head on the palm of your hands, stopping yourself from looking at his metal hand, you weren’t even sure if it was metal.

The diner was one that had been in this town for, at least, forty years, and it definitely showed its age. It was trying to be a ‘retro diner’ in the eighties, so that aged it another thirty years. You grew up coming here with your family, the food was good, and you thought the inside was cute. The building was longer than it was wide, and the floor reminded you of a checkerboard. There was a long bar on the left, space for waiters to maneuver, and a long panel of metal enclosing the kitchen portion. Bright red bar stools were implemented into the floor, screwed into the floor, every two feet or so. On the right, were five or six booths, the same shade of red as the bar stools, big enough for about four people max. 

“Hey, sugar!” A familiar voice chirped to your left. Your eyes met a familiar pair of green ones, and a smile immediately filled your face. “Hey, Mabel!” You cooed, half-standing under the table and wrapping your arms around her small, fragile frame. She smelled like coffee and smoke, as she always did. The two of you pulled away, and her eyes instantly went to Bucky. “Who's your friend?” She asked, raising her eyebrows at you. “Mabel, this is my friend James. James, this is Mabel.” You explained, quickly introducing the two. He smiled at her and stuck out his ‘normal’ hand to give her a handshake, which she was very fond of. 

“Well, it is great to meet you, James! What can I get you to drink?” She had abandoned her notepad well before you were born, her ability to just remember someone’s order still amazed you. “Coffee please, no sugar or creamer please.” She smiled at him, and turned back towards me, “Regular for you, dear?” She asked, and you smiled, scrunching up your eyes and nose. She practically pranced away with a huge smile on her face. Bucky chuckled, pulling you from your thoughts, turning your head back towards him. His eyes were scanning over the faded laminated menu.

“How do you know Mabel?” He asked, looking up and unzipping his jacket, pulling it off his abdomen and onto the seat beside him, with his gloves and hat. “I grew up coming here with my family, she’s known me since I was in my mother’s stomach.” You explained, pointing to a picture above the bar. It was pretty faded after sitting in direct sunlight for over two decades, but it was a picture of Mabel, your mom, your dad, and you, you all had on party hats. “I had my first ten birthdays at this diner.” Bucky squinted his eyes and smiled once he made out the picture of baby you. 

“That’s awesome.” He said looking back at you. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Mabel cut him off. “Here is that coffee, Mr. James.” She slid the coffee in front of him, “And a regular for you, (Y/M/N).” She wiped her hands on her apron, “What can I get you two to eat?” Bucky looked at me, wanting me to order first. “We’ll both take the ‘67.” You smiled. She copied, “You got it, dearie.” And she walked away. Bucky cleared his throat, “Just trust me, Bucky,” You chuckled, placing your hands on top of his, “You’re gonna love it.” He paused for a moment, “I’ll hold you to that.” He winked at you. Did he just wink at you? Was he flirting? You immediately shot back at a wink and a flirty response, “Deal.”

The two of you ate and chatted for about an hour and a half. “Okay, you were right, that was the best food I’ve ever had.” He said, stacking your plates and utensils together, making it easier for Mabel when she took them off the table. “Can I get you two anything else?” She asked, picking up the two plates with ease. Bucky looked at you and you nodded a ‘no,’ and he looked back at Mabel, “No thank you, ma’am, but I will take the check.” He smiled. 

“No, Mabel, split the check pl-” But Mabel cut you off, “Sorry, dear, my hearing aid died, I can’t quite hear you. I’ll bring that check right to you, Mr. James.” Quickly walking away. “Bucky, no, I will pay for mine.” You insisted, going to reach for your purse. You looked around you in your seat in a panic, and then you remembered, it was in the saddlebag attached to his bike. He laughed at you as you came to that realization. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” You sighed, taking a sip of your drink. He simply shrugged and smiled, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. 

Once Mabel returned with the bill and Bucky’s card, the two of you stood, and he let you walk out first. It was a lot colder now, goosebumps layered your exposed arms, like a reflex you wrapped your arms around yourself. “Here, you take this.” He insisted, placing his heavy leather jacket on your shoulders. “No, I can't, you're gonna get cold too.” You began to shrug it off, but he placed his hands on your shoulders, stopping you. “I’ll be fine.” He smirked at you, his hands lingering for a little longer than normal. 

“Ready?” He asked as he straddled his bike, once more. You stuck your arms through the long sleeves, which went way past your fingertips. You took your seat behind him, and he handed you the helmet, and you slid it over your head. Similar to earlier, you snaked your arms around him, clasping your hands together, and resting around his mid-abdomen. His hands, once again, landed on your thighs, pulling you even closer to him, making a different type of goosebumps cover your arms. 

“Hang on tight, doll.” He said as the bike came to life. You were so glad you were wearing a helmet, so he couldn’t see the brush creep onto your cheeks. As you two rode, he used his prosthetic hand to steer the bike and kept his flesh hand on your knee the entire time. The sky had ditched the orange, pink, and red hues and was now littered in stars and moonlight. You didn’t want this to end, you felt like you could stay there for hours, but the library came into view a lot sooner than you wanted it to. 

The next day came and you got excited, as always, to see Bucky. Today was a little different though, after your date last night. Wait, was that even a date? It had to be, right? I mean he paid and flirted with you. 

“Bucky, why do you come in here every day?” You asked, peering at him over the book in your hands. He didn’t move for a second, you assumed he was finishing the sentence he was reading. “Well, all the libraries in New York City are crowded and noisy.” He explained, “So when I found this place while scoping out new libraries, even though it is quite a distance, I knew this place was it for me.” He smiled at you. “At least that was the reason initially.” He muttered, picking his book back up. 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” You set your book down this time, squinting your eyes at him, and propping your head up on your hands. “Well obviously, I now come back because the shitty coffee you offer is to die for.” He said sarcastically. You gasped and threw one of your pens at him, bouncing off his chest and onto the floor. He broke out into a fit of laughter, and you soon followed. 

“No, but now I come back to hang out with you.” He admitted to you, avoiding your stare. “Oh that so sweet…” You started, “...Dork.” Throwing another pen at him, this time hitting the bill of his hat. Bucky had come in every day for a little over a month now and missed not a single Sunday. “Hey (Y/F/N)?” Bucky asked, looking back up from his book. Your eyes didn’t leave the pages of your book, but you answered, “Yes, Buck?” You asked back, flipping the page. 

“I won’t be here tomorrow, and for a couple days after that.” When the words left his lips, a wave of sadness washed over you. Your lips twisted into a pout, looking towards him. “Why?” You asked, dragging out the word. “I have some obligations.” You rolled your eyes at him, “Okay, Mr. Mysterious.” You scoffed, feeling a bit upset. How long had he known? Why was he just now telling you? “I’m gonna be so bored without you.” You whined, leaning back in your chair with a huff. 

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” 

It was closing time now, and as usual, Bucky walked you to your car. “You better bring me a souvenir from wherever you’re going.” You joked, tossing your purse into the passenger seat, and turning back towards Bucky. “Would you prefer a T-shirt? Maybe some socks? How about a shot glass?” He joked back, leaning against the side of your car. “Surprise me.” You laughed, pushing his chest. 

As you went to pull away from his chest, his flesh hand wrapped around your wrist, softly. He placed it back on his chest, and his metal hand went to your hip, pulling you closer to him. The only distance between both of your chest was being occupied by your hand. You swore up and down that he could hear your heartbeat, but you were soon reassured because you could feel his heartbeat racing just as much as yours was. Bucky glanced down at your lips, and you did the same. 

You closed the space between your lips, and without thinking your eyes fluttered closed, taking in everything happening over your entire body. His lips were soft, tasting like coffee and mint. The growing stubble on his chin rubbed against the softness of your cheeks. His flesh hand was warm around your wrist, gripping it softly, he never wanted to hurt you. But the gestures with his metal hand were very different. It was leaving a cool tingling sensation against the small patch of exposed skin, and his grip was tighter, pushing you impossibly closer to him. You took your free hand, and placed it on his face, thumb running over his cheek, and your other four fingers resting on his neck. 

After what feels like minutes, but was probably only about thirty seconds, you pulled away from him. Reluctantly, of course. The two of you just stood there, not moving, relishing at the moment for as long as you could. “You know I meant to surprise me souvenir-wise, right?” You chuckled, messing with the hair on the nape of his neck. “Oh okay, we can just never do that again.” He sighed, messing with you. 

“No, no, we can definitely do that again.”

~

It was the first Sunday without Bucky in a while, he had been gone for almost a week now, you assumed working on his ‘obligations.’ You had been keeping yourself busy with a new book series, one that Bucky actually recommended to you. But today would be full of dusting, reorganizing, putting away some newer books, and vacuuming. It was probably around 3:30 in the afternoon, and you were dusting the large bay windows by the front of the store. 

You could feel the music moving through your body, making it impossible for you not to dance, at least just a little wiggle. You swayed your hips, the music taking over, singing into the duster like a microphone. Your free hand ran up the side of your body, from your thigh all the way up to your face. You threw your arm up over your head, and prancing around the tables, shifting the duster from a microphone to an electric guitar. When the song was finally over, and you were very much out of breath, you made your way back to the window. And when you did so, your heart dropped to your toes. There was a man standing on the opposite side of the window, watching you. 

It only took a few seconds for your fear to turn into relief. It was Bucky. You dashed to the left towards the door, unlocking the door, and running out to greet him. Practically leaping towards him, you wrapped both arms around his neck, and his arms snaked around your waist. After a few moments of swaying and just taking in his presence, you pulled away. He was smiling widely, “I didn’t mean to end your concert so soon, I was enjoying it.” Adding a chuckle. Your face blushed, and you put your hand over your eyes, peeking at him through your middle and ring finger, “Did you see the whole thing?” You asked, dreading his answer. “The whole thing.”

The two of you walked back inside, the music still playing loudly. There was a slow song playing, and you grabbed your phone to turn it down, but Bucky stopped you. “Wanna dance?” He asked, putting his hand out for you to grab. You smiled, happily taking it. He pulled your chest against his. Your arms rest on his shoulders, your fingers loosely interlocked. Both hands on your hips, both of you just rocking side to side. The music wasn’t even registering in your brain, you were just focusing on this moment with him. 

“I remember when this song came out.” He said softly. You cocked your eyebrow at him, “Didn’t this song come out in the fifties?” You asked confused, what did he mean by that? “So you really don’t know who I am, huh?” The question caught you off-guard, it sounded very egotistical. “No..?” You asked more like a question. And that’s when he explained everything, making a very long story very short. He explained the arm, the serum, and the ‘obligations.’ 

“You’re a fucking Avenger?” You asked, head in your hands, elbows on your knee. “Well, technically I’ve never been asked to be one, but kind of.” His hand on your back, rubbing it in small circles. “So you’re the James Buchanan Barnes from the Captain America museum?” He nodded. Everything kind of flooded back to your memory, you knew you heard the nickname “Bucky” before, and you knew he looked somewhat familiar, but you assumed he just looked kinda similar to an actor or something. 

It was silent for a good five minutes, but Bucky broke it. “Hey, guess what?” He asked, trying to hide the upturn of his lips. What now? Was he gonna break some more news to you? Was he also part alien? “Hmm?” That was all you said, running your fingers through your hair. He moved his hand to reach into his backpack and pulled out a book, sliding it towards you. 

“Russian Urban Legends.” You read the title, quickly flipping through the book with your thumb. “Flip to page 48, and tell me what it says.” He said, propping his head upon his hands. You did as he said and landed on page forty-eight. “The Winter Soldier.” You read the words written in a bright red font, the page decorated in grainy photos and ridiculously cheesy government lettering and drawings. Bucky looked at you, prompting you to continue. 

“A ghost story or a real threat?”