#THATS 23 HOURS STRAIGHT????

[thalassic-p4rk]

ONLY TOP 2%????? HOW???????? HE ONLY HAS 29 MONTHLY LISTENERS (21 when i started!!!)!!!!! WHO THE FUCK LISTENED TO MORE ROSS A THAN ME??????????

[harbingersecho]

they get a vacation (debatable if they deserve it) and go to a club. nightmare blunt rotation btw

[battleangel]

I Am Not My Hair

What actually happens if I shave my head bald?

Why cant I see what I look like without hair?

Why do I have to be sick or have cancer or be dying?

Why am I not allowed as a woman to just shave my head?

Why do I need a reason, a justification, an explanation?

Why do I have to justify being hairless?

Why are people acting like Im dying and have cancer just because Im bald?

Nothing happens. Thats the gag.

Youve been taught to fear.

Its just my bald head. Why is that forbidden?

Verboten?

Why cant I ever see what my actual head looks like without all this hair on it?

Why cant I see what my face looks like without it constantly being surrounded by hair?

What if I like being bald?

What if I like not spending $1200+ a year on my hair?

What if I like not styling my hair?

What if I like not doing anything with my hair other than cutting it super short, about an inch or two, every few months?

Why does it threaten people for a woman not to care about her hair?

I dont want to go to a hair salon or barbershop.

I dont want to go back to an afro.

I dont want locs or dreads.

I dont want shaved sides, I already did that last year.

I dont want corn rows or bantu knots, Ive done that too.

I dont want to grow it out.

I dont want a $500 lace front wig.

I dont want a wig professionally installed by a stylist every 2 to 3 months.

I dont want to wash or brush my hair.

I dont want to put any products in my hair.

Why is it a sin for a black woman to not want to grow her hair out?

I dont want my "long beautiful" hair back.

I dont want it halfway down my back again.

I dont want it to my waist again.

I dont want to relax it again -- there are lawsuits against Loreal, black women who used Just For Me and other chemical relaxers to straighten their hair are being diagnosed with cancer, inferitility and fibroids.

The chemicals in a relaxer are strong enough to break down and destroy the natural texture of your curly coiled kinks and force it to be straight -- those same chemicals are also strong enough to literally peel paint off of cars -- why are you putting this directly on your scalp for an hour plus every 2 to 3 months from the time you are a pre-teen or in high school until adulthood, for decades, and thinking that there wont be health issues?

They target products to Black women that kill them.

Remember the little Black girls that sang the R&B pop jingle in the Just For Me commercial?

"Just for me...hair so healthy, silky and free."

Who was that song for?

This was the 90s and there were multiple Black girl groups back then -- TLC, 702, Blaque, Xscape, Jade, Total, MoKenStef, etc. -- they wanted to get us while we were young so we would keep using their products until adulthood. 

I got my first perm, I am 4C, at 11. I was so glad my mother stopped burning me with the hot comb that she had tortured me with since I was 5. Anything was better than that as I had a very sensitive scalp or "tenderheaded" as it is called in our community.

I couldnt wait to go to Touch of Magic salon where my older sister already had her long, silky hair. I was tired of being tortured by a hot ass comb that was constantlu burning my fucking scalp and I was tired of being told to "sit still" while my scalp was being fucking burned. I couldnt wait for the Revlon Fabulaxer so the dreaded golden hot comb could be forever banished from my existence.

From 11 to 34, 23 years, I faithfully got  a relaxer at the salon every 2 to 3 months. It was about $120+ (relaxer, deep condition, style, split ends, color, etc.). Over the years, that fucking adds up, over $100k I spent on my hair. Even when I went natural at 34, my 4c hair is extremely thick, kinky, nappy, unruly and very difficult to deal with. People have literally broken combs trying to comb through it. Needless to say, I couldnt manage anything myself but a wash and go so I spent thousands at the salon as a 4c natural on Senegalese twists, box braids, Bantu knots, corn rows, twist outs, twist updos and flat twists. 

Then I shaved my sides and cut my hair super short and started going to barber shops but I was dyeing it fuschia back then so my hair was still costing me money.

Then last year, I finally just grabbed kitchen scissors out of my kitchen and hacked it myself and decided I was never going to go back to a salon or barbershop.

I was going to cut my hair with kitchen scissors myself every 2 to 3 months. I do like different looks so I have five cheap synthetic shitty wigs that are different colors (blue, blonde, green, black). Depending on the lewk and fit, either I just wear my hair natural and short or I slap a wig on.

But thats it. No maintenance, no upkedp, no hair care routines, no wasting away a Saturday at a salon, no barbershops, no wash and gos, no 15 hour sessions getting braided extensions. 

Just literally cutting it with kitchen scissors every 2 to 3 months and slapping on a cheap shitty wig whenever I have a certain fit or lewk and thats it.

Then in August, I decided to shave my head bald. I didnt want even a few inches of hair anymore so I grabbed my husbands razor and shaved it. Didnt go to a barbershop or stylist. Had no idea how to even use the razor and just shaved it all off in under 10 minutes. I loved the bald look especially with thick ass winged liquid eyeliner, bold dramatic eyeshadow and colorful lipstick.

I have a few inches of growth that in a month or two, I will grab the kitchen scissors again and cut my hair down to an inch or two. Ill do that every few months. I love it bald but even shaving my head on a regular basis is more time than I choose to devote to my hair. Cutting it with scissors to an inch or two every 2 to 3 months is my absolute limit.

As a woman, thats not allowed.

Especially as a Black woman.

And I was raised by a Southern Baptist fundamentalist, so forget about it.

You have to obsess over your hair, products, styling, color, length, look, appearance, texture, curl pattern, thickness, volume, care routines, pre poo, deep conditoning, tea tree oil, diffusing, texturizing, blow out, straightening, relaxing, lace front wig installations, weaves, kanekalon, bundles, braids, twists, locs, dreads, corn rows, bantu knots...

You cant just not do your hair!

Only you can. Because thats exactly what I do.

Even as a Black woman and we are brainwashed to be absolutely obsessed with our hair.

Go back and look at the hysteria India Arie caused when she shaved her "beautiful curls".

Just like India Arie, I am not my hair.

[eteru-roses]

Incorrect quotes!!

idea courtesy of @nrcbookclub

ocs featured: @castaway-achlys @rubysandviper @inotonline @the-possum-of-rsa

Incorrect quotes

1.Rida: What are you drinking? 

Atamai: Vodka. 

Rida: Straight? 

Atamai: No, gay. Why?

❀

2. Rida: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it. 

Rida: And I started thinking. 

Rida: Like, it was just trying to get food. 

Rida: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck? 

Atamai: Are you ok?

❀

3.Castor: The stars are so beautiful... 

Atamai : They're just giant balls of gas. 

Castor: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- 

Atamai : And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. 

Castor: Oh...

❀

4.Castor: I fell— 

Atamai : From heaven? 

Castor: No, I literally fell— 

Atamai : In love with me the moment you saw me? 

Castor: MY ARM IS BROKEN! 

Atamai : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

❀

5.Atamai : I’d kill someone if you asked me to. 

Castor: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

❀

6.Atamai : I want to kiss you. 

Castor, not paying attention: What? 

Atamai : I said if you die, I wont miss you.

❀

7.Castor: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but— 

Atamai : Thats because your too short to do so. 

Castor: ...Listen here you fucking—

❀

8.Castor: You use humor to deflect your trauma. 

Atamai : Awww, thanks- 

Castor: That’s not a good thing. 

Atamai : All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

❀

9'.Atamai , holding a box of Lunchables: Ah, I loved these when I was your age… fine dining. 

Rida : Fix yourself.

❀

10.Atamai : Do crabs think people walk sideways? 

Rida : ...Atamai , what the hell.

❀

11.Rida : I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch". 

Atamai : I see you're passing on your name.

❀

12.Rida: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture." 

Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

❀

13.Atamai : Wow, they really hate us. 

Castor: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. 

Atamai : But we’re not gay, Castor. 

Castor: 

Atamai : 

Castor: We’re not?

❀

14.Rida: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry. 

Atamai :  Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. 

Rida: You have to teach Ck how to drive. 

Atamai : ...put the band-aid back on.

❀

15.Ck: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise. 

Atamai : What's the surprise? 

Rida: Blood poisoning.

❀

16.Store Worker: Would a “Atamai ” please come to the front desk? 

Atamai , arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? 

Store Worker, pointing to Rida and Ck: I believe they belong to you? 

Rida and Ck, simultaneously: We got lost. 

Atamai : I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

❀

17.castor walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: atamai , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. 

atamai , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

❀

18.Jamil: I want to be like a caterpillar. 

Chiyo: Explain. 

Jamil: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. 

C.K.: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? 

Jamil: 

Jamil: That's just another highlight!

❀

19.C.K.: *very seriously* You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help. 

Atamai : I went to the park today. 

C.K.: There you go! I hope you got something from that. 

Atamai : *opening their coat* This duck.

❀

20.Jamil: The path to inner peace begins with four words… not my fucking problem.

❀

21.Jamil: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Chiyo meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

❀

22.Jamil: Why is there blood everywhere? 

Rida: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. 

Jamil: You stabbed someone?! 

Rida: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

❀

23.Rida: Want to hear a hard riddle? 

C.K.: Sure. 

Rida: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll? 

C.K.: ...down? 

Rida: N- 

Jamil: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then. 

Rida: 

Rida: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ...

❀

24.Chiyo: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you? 

Jamil: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now. 

Jamil: Would you like me to tutor you? 

Rida: That was smooth.

❀

25.Chiyo: Hey, Rida? 

Rida, playing a video game with the squad: What? 

Chiyo: Can I share something with you from earlier today? 

Rida: Wh- what is it, Chiyo? 

Chiyo: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning. 

Rida: Mhm. 

Chiyo: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend? 

Rida: Yeah? 

Chiyo: Your response. 

Rida: *trying not to crack up* 

Chiyo: At 9:30 in the morning. 

Chiyo: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit" 

Rida: *laughing* 

Chiyo: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization. 

Rida: You just made me dieeee... 

Chiyo: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now." 

Chiyo: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you. 

Chiyo: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man" 

Rida: *wheezing with laughter* 

Chiyo: I respond "Rida, you're scaring me." An hour passes- 

Chiyo: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg" 

Chiyo: "im very tired" 

Rida: *struggling to breathe* 

Chiyo: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Rida, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-" 

Chiyo: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later, 

Chiyo: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook" 

Chiyo: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, 

Rida: *falling over with laughter* 

Chiyo: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

❀

26.Atamai : Time sensitive question how flirt boy. 

Jamil: Throw rocks at he. 

Rida: Hot Dogs. 

Chiyo: Kill him. 

Atamai : Thanks guys.

(^when he was trying to confess to castor)

❀

27.Atamai : When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think. 

Jamil: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen. 

Atamai : Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese? 

Chiyo: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

❀

Have fun giggling. i numbered them so you can talk about which are the funniest :3

rida is very chaotic and in fact has criminal records(arson)

[starkilightz]

YODEL LOST MY TWENTY ONE PILOTS MERCH!!

GIRL OH MY FUCKING GOD IM FUCKING FUMING!!!!!!!!

this is a long rant post cause fuck Yodel, If yall had issue in the UK can yall say cause i need to know if its just my area that Yodel are fucking dumb in, thanks :)

First it was meant to be delivered on the 25th May ( at my workplace WHICH WAS OPEN AND OPERATING at the time) but apparently they couldn't find the building (bullshit, we are the only ones on this road that's straight of the high street fuck off you couldn't find it) but whatever. i knew it prob wouldn't get delivered on monday (27th) as it was bank holiday. i check the tracking and it said that 'We need some more information about your address. Please chat with us' but all customer service was down as it was bank holiday. So i waited till tuesday (28th) for when their customer service to open and i contacted them about this address thing but they couldn't find anything i needed to add or change other than the option to add a 'Leave with a neighbour' option but seeing we are the only one on the street we don't have neighbours so we got that squared off. Then the customer service agent said now that done, it should be getting delivered, with no issue. But before i could ask would that be today or? the chat got cut off.

So, (like the annoying bitch i am) i when back onto the live chat and got in contact with another agent, just to ask what the possible delivery date or time would be as we operate on business hours (7am-5pm) and yodel stays delivering till like 9pm so i just wanted to know if i would have to wait around for it. and she stated that she'll check my tracking and it was currently waiting to go out with the driver for delivery and i was like oo perfect that's great i might get it today at some point, so i ended the chat and waited (this chat was at like 9am on the 28th May). after all day of checking nothing got updates on the tracking or anything. Told myself i'll wait till today 29th. So this morning i got on a chat with another agent and asked hey is this actually going out for delivery today cause yall said that it would yesterday and this is what i got in response:

'According to our tracking, your parcel has not been scanned in our network since 25 May 24 13:57:. I do apologise for the delay in your parcel's delivery. So that we can get it moving again I will need to request that your local depot conducts a search for your parcel. To make sure that we can do this as quickly as possible could you please tell me the contents of your parcel so that I can share this with our team? Kindly confirm that the email address is the correct one to receive the notification.'

Like hey what do u ment you've not seen it or had it in your system since the 25th. i asked the customer service agent like does this mean its lost or what like??? AND HE JUST ENDED THE CHAT ON ME!! like huh!?. so at this point im starting to get really annoyed cause what why am i being told different things.

So i hop on the live chat AGAIN. this agent was actually super nice and helped me (sort of) . i told them i was sent that message and the chat was cut off, that i was confused on what's actually happening. he was like it might not be lost it might be misplaced. like girl THATS JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR LOST THE FUCK? so i was like whatever like what's going to happen now and they were like we will contact your local depot and have them do a search and you will get an update hopefully within the next 24 hours.

i predicted this would happen i made a post on like the 23/24th May that i hated yodel and literally have never got it right losing shit or delivering it to the wrong place or sayings it delivered when it wasn't. like im so close to emailing the TOP online store to be like why use yodel it's the worst rated one in the country. like why not use royal mail or evri like i would actually celebrate if they did evri and they are also the fucking worst.

i work in customer service like its my active job to help customers with shit like this yall are actually badddd, anyway if i don't get an update or its not delivered by the end of the week(Sun 2nd) imma contact the TOP shop and see if they can push them on the business/corporate side as they obvs don't care about the customers.

[bi-zemo]

Tally marks - victor zsasz x male reader - part 1

y/n and zsasz harm themselves in different ways

crossposted on ao3

Victor had been getting scars since he was 13, even lines across his left wrist and thighs every evening like clockwork. It stung at first, but as he got older and more used to pain he began to find it grounding. Now at the age of 23 the familiar sting barely even affected him as he carried out his hits.

I hadnt felt anything but normal bruises and scrapes until I was 18, when a single line appeared on my right arm. The sharp sting waking me up just past midnight, deeper than anything I would do myself, blood seeping through the hoodie I wore to bed and leaving a stain. I thought nothing of it until a month or so later, when a second one appeared as I was making a late night sandwich in my small kitchen, same size, same deepness, right next to the last. I hoped my habit hadnt rubbed off on my soulmate, I felt bad enough harming someone else I didnt want whoever it was doing it on purpose. It wasnt until three months later, a couple cuts from them and many from me, that I realised what they were doing. That night a fifth line cut across the four, he was making a tally.

Victor finished the line, his first tally. He had gotten the idea from his soulmate, the many lines littering his wrist had always been an exact number like they were counting something. He didnt know what they were counting but he knew what he was. His first kill had been messy and disorganised but successful, he took the knife still decorated with the mans blood and rolled up the sleeve of his arm clean of scars and left one mark as deep as was bearable. He wanted it to last. Since then he had left one line per death, and this longer stroke made him proud. His kills had become cleaner, slowly, and he had learned to plan. Most important of all, someone had offered to pay him, a lot of money. He had no idea how someone had learned of his hobby but he wouldnt turn down something that could pay his rent for at least three months.

After that first tally the lines started appearing more frequently, I had guesses of what they were counting but I assumed none of them were right. That was until I heard whispers, of a hitman with a perfect shot, whispers like this went around my shitty neighbourhood all the time and I usually ignored them, until I heard how he counted his kills. Tally marks. That had been what peaked my interest, it was unusual, and it fit my soulmates habit.

Someone was looking for him, thats what victor had heard, and no one who didnt have a deathwish would search for him. So he looked into it. Followed the whispers to a shitty apartment on the edge of the narrows, watched it for a few days until he established the resident nearly never left, only sat on the windowsill for a cigarette every few hours in his boxers and usually a hoodie. It was a tired looking, underweight man, probably around twenty or so but looked younger due to what was probably several years of food deprivation, not uncommon in the narrows. The first time the apartment was empty was when the young man left, actually dressed in jeans and several layers with a backpack slung over one shoulder and a hood pulled over his greasy hair. Victor took this chance to climb through the window into a kitchen, plates stacked high on the sides by the sink. He opened the fridge and scoured the cupboards. Just as he expected, the man had left for groceries. The only thing in that fridge was a half drank bottle of coke and the cupboards were worse. He scanned the rest of the flat, a small living room connected to the kitchen but looked barely used, only a bag of laundry that after a thorough sniff victor decided was straight from the laundromat. Well maybe not straight from, it was clean but had been left a while. The bathroom was nothing much, towels on the floor and shampoo knocked over in the shower. The razors on the edge of the sink placed gently on a piece of tissue caught his eye as any blade would but he continued on to the bedroom. There he found the window he had been watching, the windowsill mostly cleared so the resident could perch on it. The bed was messy and clearly well used and there were mugs, some still half filled with cold coffee, on nearly every surface. Clearly the man pretty much lived in here. Victor swung the door shut behind him and headed back to the living room, sitting on an armchair in the darkest corner and waiting for the man to come home.

I hauled my heavy groceries up the stairs to my third floor apartment, the many tins i had found discounted making the bag far too heavy for my week arms but they would feed me for several weeks. I stepped through my front door into the kitchen and flipped on the flickery bulb, dumping the plastic bags on the floor and my backpack on the counter before beginning to put them away. “Lovely place you got here.” I jumped out of my skin, dropping a tin of soup that rolled under my cabinet, spinning to see a bald man in a suit that looked like it cost more than my entire apartment. I reached into my pocket to pull out my knife but he stepped forward, slipping his own hand into the pocket and grabbing it himself, tutting. “Naughty boy” I was frozen as he flipped the blade open, flipping it between his fingers. “Who are you.” “You should know considering youve apparently been looking for me.” This was when i noticed bulk around his torso, a holster, guns. “Zsasz.” “Thats my name, dont wear it out.” He slid the knife into a pocket inside his jacket, letting me catch a glimpse of a pistol concealed under it. “Whats a guy like you doing looking for me, judging this place you cant afford my services.” I couldnt get the words out, his dark eyes distracting me from anything that left his mouth. “You gonna tell me sweetheart?” I squeaked and he sighed. “Dont know if you count as a threat but i guess i have to do this anyway.” He drew out a gun and pressed it against my chin. “Wait wait i-” I didnt know what to do or how to phrase it so i did the only thing i could think of and pulled up my sleeve. There on my lanky arm was his tallys.

For the first time in his life victor was speechless, no witty comeback making its way to the front of his mind. He shoved the gun on the counter and grabbed the mans other wrist and shoved up the sleeve, ignoring the wince he got in return, and saw the lines and lines of scars he knew decorated his own left arm. He just stood there holding the two wrists in his hands before looking up at who he now knew was his soulmate. “You know, cutting yourself is really bad for you.” I let a small smile break over my face, locking eyes with the victor zsasz and living to tell the tale. “Yeah sorry about that.” He still had me crowded against the counter, my wrists gripped firmly in his gloved hands, i could feel his calm breath against my mouth. “So, soulmates huh.” I nodded slightly. “I could live with that.” And his lips connected with mine, sending sparks all the way down to my toes and fingertips, making me melt at the contact. I had never felt anything like it, i had heard that when soulmates kiss it released hormones that couldnt be released any other way but i didnt realise it felt this good. He pulled back and i almost leant forward with him. “Fuck” “Fuck indeed” His face remained hard to read, only a small smirk on his face, but his pupils were blown wide and when my body unconsciously leant forward i felt something at his crotch brush against my half hard cock. “No thats not another gun honey.”

[diodellet]

ooohh that ask game has some interesting questions hmm how abt 16, 18, and 23?

i am realizing just how much this ask game is making me bare my soul goshhh (/not srs), thanks for sending me an ask, bibi!

16. What makes you immediately close a fic that otherwise seemed good?

hm...well, most of the time i try to stick it out even if i'm not enjoying the fic from the first few sentences. like, maybe it's just me but a lot of the first words of a fic tends to be the (for lack of a better word) "the gunk" that precedes the actual story? like some stories just have slow starts, but they do get gud.

but to answer the q, i guess stuff that makes me roll my eyes at a fic, in the context of x readers would probably have to be:

disclaimer: most of the time, i don't mind reading these. but there are just moments where they bother me as i'm reading

reader getting carried bridal style (i dont like it, i hate it. id rather be carried like a sack of potatoes. or id rather be carried like a goat by its shepherd. but i do like seeing characters getting princess-carried) just carry me like this instead 🤧🤧���

royalty AU++CEO/office/corporate-setting AU (like secret princess of a kingdom or being a secretary, for example) i'm not a big fan of those kinds of settings. like ok sure a chara can look good in business formal or in some fine furs, but once the eye candy wears off thats when i exit the fic oops.

fics centered around marriage: i don't really enjoy reading proposals. also thinking of how the rings, the dresses, and the flowers look is hard bcs of my (partial?) aphantasia, but weddings Are Pretty Fun as a background setting. overall, i think what bothers me most is that the chara loses a bit of their personality after they get wed together with the reader.

^^actually in relation to this... im not that big of a fan of prom/dance settings, they both read very similarly, especially since the reader tends to be placed in the more passive role of being asked out. (but when you make it angsty or hurt/comfort, ok i will read it i'm a simple girl)

Oh and ig this is just me wishing for more in the Imposter-SAGAU genre of fanfic (i mean i'm still looking around, i don't feel desperate enough to write smth of my own), but i kinda wish the charas weren't so doe-eyed and quick to apologize to the reader. like, i get the feeling of wanting to write The Good Bits Immediately (e.g. being fawned over, getting to lord that blunder over the characters) but the potential of slowburn trauma recovery and developing a relationship from straight-up antagonism is Right There.

18. What media do you want to get into because of artists/writers you like?

i think i'd want to try reading more poetry? like, if i rb a lot of web weaving, i gotta know sumn other than "deep" pop lyrics (u wont find me saying nice things about ms sw*ft). so far i'm thinking of starting with ocean vuong and richard siken (basic ik but i mean, their works are good)

dunmeshi! i've been putting it off for forever 🙈🙈 (<-girlie watched frieren and forgor abt dunmeshi bcs they got yorushika to do the 2nd OP) but senshi,,,, SENSHI THE MAN THAT U ARE,,,,

Oh! and i'm rlly curious about alien stage! my sibling's dipping into it and he told me it was basically america's got talent x the promised neverland. and he said the magic words "toxic yaoi" and "doomed yuri," i Gotta watch it atp. (also like, carole and tuesday rearranged my brain, im ready to put a sadder spin on it😤)

23. What would you make a 5 hour video essay on, if you had enough time and motivation?

as soon as i read this all my hyperfixations have: left the server HAHAHA

maybe in terms of recent ones, i could try analyzing madds buckley's my love is sick. i wrote about that album for a final paper in a basic music elective, but i was constrained to only 3 pages so i only talked about 2-3 songs. but i could pretend to be a music major and regale ppl with how the leitmotifs tie together and completely destroy me add a new layer of meaning to the songs on subsequent listens. Also like, these songs just Get It (not sure what "it" is exactly, but there's smth related to first love and love lost*)

(but atm im just yoinking songs from there to use for fic/chapter titles, i plan on using one for this ruggie timeloop angst fic im plotting out anyway)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[who-is-shades]

raz dnd 23 beach episode!

wheatley is out of eeby deeby! space core does donuts around them and says "i spy dad!" happy whirring noises. he doesnt sense the awkward air lol. zen is looking at his map. long straight path ahead of us for the next several hours. after a day well find a town with a big lake!

teya hopes the towns in better shape than the last one lol. dododo walking for hours. ope somethings coming. long ass neck comes out of the woods?! brontisaurous?! its pissed or something making a beeline for us! a great shadow is cast. a giant fucking bronze dragon grabs it and flies off! nice.

parsley asks if senna knows that guy sksksk. 'maybe my great uncle randy.' teya is dying from laughter. time skip! bedtime i miss the dragon. parsley goes to stargaze. senna does more dragon rug stuff. wheatley offers his book to teya since hers got burned. teya is bothering parsley lol. she flies up to bug him.

now shes bugging him about his familys pet human fun! 'for what its worth i did listen.' she has her reasons for going to the feywilds but shes gonna be careful. she just likes pissing him off lol. shes looking for answers and if he knows something to please tell her. hes just quiet. "so. did you recognize something in the book?" he grips his arms tighter but stays quiet. so thats a yes. 'you know who my mother made a pact with?' 'do you know what the pact was for?' nope she only knows after the blew up the town they had to go to the feywilds and tori and sunnie said no.

he sighs and asks if sunnie would know. 'you wanna ask him?' 'well i might fucking need too!' she thinks it might be in the book but she doesnt know. parsley goes to wheatley and gets the book. he cant seem to find it hes just skimming oops hes gonna have to read it. wheatley is trying to read over his shoulder lol.

he gets near the end before finding the passage. he sighs and holds his head in his hands.

she thinks its not a good sign how invested parsley is in this lol. 'take it you found something?' 'you fucking think?' theres a chance if she goes to the feywilds she might be able to leave cool. deals still need to be fulfilled, so shes fucked. doesnt matter if her moms dead. a deals a deal. wheatley comments that fey live a long time, a decade is nothing. android says to not go to the feywilds jingles crust. teya is so pissed she wants to look for family. android says any family left is probably enslaved. teya would be a goddamn pet lol. of course we know shes going to go, cause she doesnt listen. a problem for another day, or preferably never!

long rest! senna finishes the dragon stuff, eats, then back to regular meditating. in the morning wheatley tells senna what happaned lol. senna comments that maybe the pact is trying to draw her in. teya tosses parsley the sending stone. he missed lol. SP gives teya a tiny flower aww. time to go!

as we travel we can see the town! huge ass lake and a big tower in the lake. beachy sand and waves and shit. the tower is glowing. every pulse makes the waves cool. people are surfing! the town is hot lol. an artificial vacation town. an old wizard man in swimtrunks and sunglasses fucking surfs on the land by us lol. surfer bro beach billy oh god. broski. wheatley says hes making a fake accent too lol.

he brought the beach here since theres no ocean lol. not salt water its fine lol. wheatley cant float lol. he asks zen to tell us whats in the lake lol. senna says they were just passing through and the town seemed interesting. he tells us to relax but its fine and points out the exit. off he goes surfing lol.

time to buy swimsuits! wheatley wants a bikini nice. we ring the counter bell and billy pops up lol hes wearing a different hat. wheatley wants a frilly one pog. senna messages everyone asking if dorf would wear a speedo. wheatley smacks her in the head lol. yay frilly suit for wheatley he wants it in blue! frilly blue bikini pog. and its free cool. and a sunhat!

senna gets a drapy blue swimsuit with a big bottom cape nice. teya normally doesnt use a swimsuit lol. parsley threatens the guy to not call him fairy bro again lol. parsley says something blue for teya, then smirks and makes it a bikini lol. senna comments it looks a bit plain so parsley starts rummaging but there was nothing there wtf. he just grabs one on a rack and shoves it at her. zen asks for an extra large one lol. senna sees a suit and hands it to teya and asks her to try it on, something skimpy. wheatley whispers to parsley that senna is flirting with teya. android said no swimsuit lol.

senna goes in the other changing room and changes. wheatley says this guy is better than spingledorf while looking for a suit for parsley. 'did you say spingledorf?' hes a friend he helped him set up the tower lol. senna steps out and asks teya if she needs help lol. it covers nothing lol. wheatley says thats the point. teya doesnt like the beaded skimpy one lol its stuck in her hair senna has to help lol.

zens wearing trunks nice. parsley is helping wheatley adjust his suit. senna finally freed teya and steps back out. parsley tossed her another one lol. parsley tells android they gotta kill the wizard lol. 'why are you planning to cause problems?' why does he even bother lol he doesnt do jokes. senna squeals and says wheatley looks great! teya steps out and yells at parsley to get a blue swimsuit! senna calls teya cute lol. senna yeets blue swimsuits at him. billy comments that he IS blue and he might look naked lol. wheatley finds a suit the same color lol.

they DO have a nude beach on the otherside. parsley is excited lol. and zen oh no. android would go but other people would be there lol. wheatley hands android a black towel lol. no. lol. theres another shop with beach supplies nice so thats where senna goes. teya heads right to the beach lol. senna peruses the racks first lol. wheatley keeps bringing android ugly swimsuits.

the water is nice and cool with some waves. wheatley sticks his hand in the water. nothing happens. nice. wheatley asks zen if he can fix him if he shorts out. it SHOULD be fine lol. senna presses the shop bell! its billy lol. senna heads to the beach and sets up an area and lays down nice.

wheatley cannonballs from a pier. he just sinks lol. hes dead. parsley cannonballs from the air. teya says theres no light on down there so zen goes to get him. he walks out holding his limp body yep hes not waterproof. he takes wheatley back to robot god. after 10 minutes wheatley wakes up. robotgod is tinkering with him. he fixes him up and makes him water proof lol. back to the beach!

teya yells at wheatley for scaring her lol. parsley tells him to do it again lol. wheatley asks parsley to bury him in the sand sksksksk. sp grabs a toy bucket and shovel and follows lol. senna is just soaking up the rays. teya calls her to come swim and she just waves her off lol. zen is flexing to beachgoers that come to flirt lol.

some big waves come in for teya lol. it comes up to where wheatley is buried! SP puts sand on wheatleys head xD SP points at teya and wants to bury her too lol. wheatley gets splashed a bit. billy is surfing nice. senna goes to unbury wheatley its gonna take a minute. some of the water flows in and senna tries to calm him. zen speaks up and is going to the nude beach with some people lol. wheatley asks if thats normal and senna says it varies from person to person.

wheatley still cant get out so senna widens the hole. parsley tells teya to come to the beach cause they totally dont wanna bury her. senna loosens wheatley a bit but hes still stuck. teya blinks and ducks under the water. some fish pass her legs lol. parsley puts SP back down and asks senna what shes doing. shes trying to help him cause hes freaking out and fails again. but wheatley gets his hands free! he gets splashed again and starts screaming. billy hears and comes over. parsley pulls wheatley out lol. senna calls parsley out and billy says its unrighteous lol. wheatley says he asked for it.

billy goes back into the ocean! senna turns around and heads back to her towel. parsley fucking grabs senna! 'guess where your going?!' parsley no. shes flailing. shes gonna bite him in the arm! he drops her in the water! big old splash. she does not come up. the bubbles are slowly disappearing. parsley dives in and sees her sinking and flailing. shes terrified. he catches up and grabs her. he cant drag her up. oh no. billy summons a whirlpool and it throws us out of the water. thanks billy.

senna is too busy coughing up buckets of water to respond. she looks like a wet cat. she wobbly stands up and tells parsley to come here. hes too afraid to come over lol but he does. she flips him upside down and sticks him in wheatleys hole. she takes him out after a minute and tells him not to do that again. then she does and collapses on the towel. SP rolls over and sits with her.

wheatley is building a sand castle. parsley gets messaged back from sunnie. senna messages teya she needs her. teya sees senna looks like a wet cat. she coughs hard and asks her to help fix her hair. teya asks wtf happaned. parsley left and wheatley is sand castling. SP speaks up and says parsley flew. billy fucking comes up and asks senna if she wants floaties xD she says no. teya is connecting the dots. she wails that parsley threw her in the lake shes so upset. shes crying the poor girl thank you teya.

parsley sees this and is just so awkward cause he has to talk to teya. SP sees him and rolls over and smacks him with the tiny shovel. parsley asks if hes ok. SP says no and hits him again and keeps hitting him lol. senna is blubbering about how rude he was like why would he toss her in the lake. she says shes afraid of the water shes never learned how but teya wants to teach her one of these days. thats how her brother died. SP rolls over and shakes his bucket at them. then turns around and goes to hit parsley again.

they see parsley just standing there. teya messages parsley like you good? sunnie responded he was crying. he told parsley to tell teya to message him its important. senna is giving parsley a miffed look lol. hope its not about smierc. senna goes and hangs out with wheatley and make sandcastles. SP gathers beach stuff to decorate the castles with. parsley goes to look for seashells but this is a landlocked lake lol. some people pass by and compliment wheatleys bikini <3

teya has gotten a bad message and has stopped pacing. senna asks if shes ok. she looks in shock. senna picks her up and carries her over to the towels. zen finally comes back lol. wheatley says senna almost drowned lol. senna messages parsley and says somethings wrong with teya. all teya can say is 'hes gone.' senna hugs and holds her tightly. Smierc was found in the library. Hes Gone. zen kneels down and puts a hand on her shoulder. senna messages parsley again what happaned.

teya stands up quickly and says she needs to go home. she starts heading away and senna follows. she stops and asks zen if his god will teleport them. god will allow it. teya shrugs her dress on over the swimsuit lol. zen makes the portal. teya just goes in. android is so lost lol. its raining in town lol. teya is trying to find sunnie. hes sobbing in the library. parsley realizes hes banned in this town so he transforms.

sunnie is reading some pieces of paper. they hug the poor guys. they dont know what happaned they just found him on the ground with a gentle smile and flowers around him. but the last person he saw was cirmes. wheatley tries to comfort him. he left sunnie a note. how much he cared. he left sunnie the library deed. teya is devastated. their prepping to bury him soon and he wants teya to stay for the funeral.

parsley and android fucking leave their so awkward he looks like an elf woman. senna got dressed quick while shes thinking. sunnie and teya have too many happy memories about this place. timeskip to the funeral! wheatley had wrapped the black towel around himself like funeral attire lol. burying smierc in a coffin its open casket. priest asks if anyone has something to say and teya says a poem.

they bury him. teya and sunnie are the only ones left but the stupids are in the back. senna seems deep in thought.

[thegeminisage]

ok, so i was still on my way to hyrule castle, but i stopped to do what i thought was a korok puzzle and found the THE LORD OF THE MOUNTAIN? HELLO??? no idea what he did or how to interact with it but what a shock!

also, the closer i get to it, the...scarier it looks? geez.

tried and failed to capture my first horse :( i'd really love to ride one, it's a long walk...

OH the map isnt actually steering me towards the castle...what a relief, i dont wanna go until last lol

without a map i barely know where i'm going so i hope this is a tower! the land is so different i hardly recognize it

got to lookout landing. how cheerful.........

why is the statue at the door asking about POES? oh man that'll be fun

oh my god its like a TOWN.....................

lol oh my god everyone here so shocked to see me. it's actually cool that link has formed connections with people who miss and worry about him 🥺

that weird blue light from satori is here, but it seems to vanish wehn i get close

I FOUND KARSON......awww buddy <3

and robbie!!

oh holy shit purah got big again. thats probably for the best

wait did that happoen NATURALLY? how long has it been since botw.....

THE. FIRST. KING. OF. HYRULE???

RAURU THE FIRST KING OF HYRULE???

sudden implications for the oot sage......................................

whoa cool you can actually look through the big telescopes now!!!

i dont wanna go to hyrule castle aaaagh it's scary

lm,ao at this sword guy mansplaining weapons to me and then going OMG IT'S LINK??? it's actually so cool that you get to play post-adventure where hes famous and beloved 😭

whoa, i love the emergency shelters. VERY cool

wait, EVERY weapon in hyrule is decayed? good fucking lord

just found out from this npc there's nobdy in lurelin bc it got attacked by PIRATES. im fucking devastated that was my favorite spot!!

"if only one could go straight through the ceiling instead of using a tiresome ladder!" buddy i am about to blow your mind

i don't think i can go to hyrule castle now in any case because my traitorous human body is falling asleep 💀 technically i woke up 23 hours ago, though i did catch a short nap in there. i hate to call it a night when i've only been playing for 8.5 hours, but that's what i get for starting at midnight lol

[jerrydevine]

ok movie may rankingsssss its quite frankly soooo fucking long so i put it under a read more :) MWAH

31. moonage daydream 2022 um so when todd haynes basically said that reagan being in power was david bowies fault in velvet goldmine i get what he was saying when i watched the second half of this. it was so annoying listening to bowie talk about how he was like crazyyyy back then now hes normal (annoying and not in a fun way) boo

30. ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous stains 1982. ok this was actually a flop i wanted to like it so bad but i did not. boo

29. the daytrippers 1996. this was such a movie my indie snob cousin loves. it kind of felt like a long ass seinfeld episode. sorry women. the gay reveal was not. fun. it was 90s straight people trying to do a twist :/

28. muppet treasure island 1996 was ok. it was no the great muppet caper ..

27. spontaneous 2020 i did cry because of this movie i thought it was just gonna be a silly heheh good bad movie but i did cry. and they played forth of july sufjan stevens :(

all the movies after here i would rewatch and i liked :) i had a good movie may !!

26. descendants 2 2017 was not as good as descendants 1 or 3 to me now .. but thats ok they literally had chillin like a villain and the letterkenny guy

25. descendants 3 2019. hmmm i wanna keep her by descendants 2 just so theyre not lonely in this list. the plot was like ok mal having to do her morality thing again thats ok. evie was soooooo izzy lightwood and her loser ass march band boyfriend was sooo simon :)

24. murder on the orient express 1974 was better than death on the nile 1978 and there was a character with my name :) but i think i do not care as much about agatha christie mysteries as i thought i would. thats ok :)

23. arrival 2016 is prob one of the first times i knew about the specific field of the protag and it made me so mad because i spent the whole movie like. she would not fucking do that. she would not say that. come on. and of course the u.s. propaganda was like a frontal migraine but i guess it was good

22. the handmaiden 2016. why didnt anyone tell me about. you know. the plot of the movie. great lesbian sex but what the hell wasall that. 

21. donnie darko 2001 was like ok what . fine ok whatever

20. emma 1996 holy shit i watched a lot of 1996 movies this month. ummmmm ewan was there and it was literally emma. what more do you want me to say. it was good ish :P

19. dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves 2023 was so long no movie should be longer than 2 hours but it did feel like playing d&d with my buddies and sophia lillis was there :')

18. i know what you did last summer 1997. its like none of you even care that kevin williamson who wrote this AND scream 1996 is literally a gay ass homosexual man. and my friend.

17. red army 2014. i feel like this should be its own other thing because it was just a movie i would watch at 15 to learn as much about hockey as humanly possible. and not for fun for like mental illness reasons. anyway hockey :)

16. crip camp: a disability revolution 2020 is like red army 2014 like. informative and interesting documentary ! not able to rank it with fiction films i dont think so dont take its spot too seriously.

15. poison 1991. dont worry about it im just studying todd haynes and this movie was not as good as other movies i watched this month but actually its the best movie ever after velvet goldmine. or not its not in my top 3 todd movies of all time but thats ok it still set up many of the things he talks about in his later films esp the connection between the horror section and safe 1995 :)

14. the secret world of arrietty 2010. i didnt watch this until this year bc it was released just after when i would sit down and watch a new little ghibli movie. i wanted to rewatch totoro more than watch new ones.but it WAS the borrowers sooo fun :)

13. monty python and the holy grail 1975. they made lancelot soooooooo ugly which was like a joke in itself to me because lancelot would never look like that. but umm yeah my dad loves this movie and so many little jokes i thought were just family jokes were actually from this movie hehehe

12. the great muppet caper 1981 literally had peter falk in it and they knew they were in a silly movie and they kept saying kermit and fozzie were twins it was so silly and fun :)

11. seven up! 1964. british people getting studied is literally so real and true. i cant wait to continue in the series and see how these kids change.. 

10. some like it hot 1959. I NEED TO WATCH MORE MARILYN MONROE MOVIES ASAP BTW THIS MOVIE ROCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. this is spinal tap 1984. ummm yeah this was good. very good even. and christopher guest from my movies was there doing a horrible accent it was awesome :)

8. dottie gets spanked 1993. okok this is my todd haynes auteur studies and it is such a short film that foreshadows his future work i love you forever and ever my best friend todd haynes :D!!!!!!!!!!

7. videodrome 1983 had crazyyyyyyyyyyyy special effects i enjoyed the blowing up bodies and the tvs trying to kill you and the toronto..

6. big eden 2000 i wish they didnt have that whole plot with his high school bestie that was annoying and not whimsy but everything else and i mean EVERYTHING else was sooooo good and beautiful and i love you movie

5. elvira's haunted hills 2001 YIPPEE ELVIRA!!!!!!! RIFF RAFF WAS THERE!!! she talked like she was still a 2000s california girl but in 1850s europe it was awesome

4. rye lane 2023 was sooooo good and love is real and i need to go to england or i will die . woah that was an anglophile ass sentence but its true.

3. stardust 2007 YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO basically thats it. it was a movie that loves whimsy and the power of love. beth please watch it i mean it you would love it soooooo much 

2. the watermelon woman 1996 i love you lesbians i love you movies i love you movie lesbians. everyone should watch it its soooo good

1. velvet goldmine 1998 my best friend forever of course no one could be better <33

[uhjules]

cal count - 11/28/23

salad - ?? (only ate 5 small bites) ran for abt an hour straight afterwards

apple - 60 cals

yogurt - 140

monster - 10

weighing in the morning ok thats it byee love u

[coloursofaparadox]

okay its 23 degrees outside still but like. cloudy. im calling it. thats close enough. its officially soup season. i have been sitting here craving ginger chicken soup for like 3 hours straight i am doing this shit.

[just-more-trolls]

dumb fantroll ask meme, odd numbers for wyllow

Ok so this is gonna be Long’un I’m gonna put everything under cut

1.  Biggest pet peeves? How much do they annoy you? Are they bad enough to be a deal breaker if someone you were interested did them?

“okay so..im a very patient person and i understand self-loathing..”

“but i have my limits..im not here for a pity-party please dont lament how much of a pathetic asshole you are expecting me to help you only to ignore any advice i give you and continue to lament your shitty life where nothing good happens ever ok???”

“...ok so that was..a rant...uhm...my pet peeve is when people don’t want to crawl out of the pit they’re in..or downright refuse to..mainly because they like the attention..”

3. What are your turn on’s turn off’s? 

“tha-..thats a little personal hello?????”

“i choose to not answer that!!”

5. What is your least favorite and favorite parts of your body? Any feature you pride yourself on? Then least favorite would you change it if you could? 

“my favorite parts? uhm..my horns i guess? and my hips”

“my least favorite are my eyes because i need glasses to see..id change that if i could i guess”

7. What is your least favorite food and why? 

“i cant stand bitter greens like baby spinach..or kale..its just not what my tastebuds like..”

“and venison makes me legitimately ill..like bad stomach ache levels of sick..”

9. What are any tics you might have? Any nervous habits? 

“under extreme amounts of stress ive been told i get the antlerbeast-in-headlights look complete with freezing..”

“im real bad about picking at the skin on my fingers especially if im real anxious..to the point of bleeding sometimes..but it keeps me from picking on the threads of my clothes until theyre unraveling..”

11. What is your earliest memory? Is it a happy or a sad one. 

“my EARLIEST memory is of finding my ancestors hive..and consequently also finding my ancestors journals on herbology and botany..and its a happy one because its what jumpstarted my own career in it~”

13. If you could have any super power what would it be? 

“i want to command plants!!”

15. What would you do with the ability to see ghosts? Would they scare you or would you be interested in them? 

“id ask them about their life..or help them move on if they dont realize theyre dead..id also keep journals of everything i was told; preservation of history and all that”

17. How good a liar are you? How often do you lie to others. 

“i cant lie for the life of me..like ill withhold the truth but straight up lie?? id die from the guilt.......or by the hands of whomstever i lied to”

19. How far would you go to be perfect? Are you ok with flaws? 

“perfection is an impossibility”

“...that being said uhm..that depends on the..flaw i think..and flaws are subjective..that being said if a flaw is actively harmful to the individual or anyone around them im not as okay..if that makes sense?”

21. How much do you sleep? What is your typical night time routine? 

“a full eight hours~! night time routine is typical: wash up, brush up, jammies on.. i have a cup of tea before bed and i read a little until im done”

23. How good are you with choices? Is it easy to make decisions or do you struggle with them? 

“i...suck at choices if im under pressure to make them.. decisions arent too hard but if there’s weight to them its definitely a lot harder on me..”

25. What is the worst thing you’ve done to someone? Do you regret it? 

“..........theres not a night goes by i dont regret it”

27. How good are you with computers? How much do you use them in every day life? 

“fairly often! i mean im no savant but i know my way around a palmhusk or a tablet”

29. If you knew you had less then a sweep left to live how would you use it? 

“probably by myself.. id quietly wrap up my assets..tend to my garden up until’ my final night before laying myself in the largest patch of flowers and herbs to be consumed by the earth as a way to give back”

31. Which would you prefer you dying before your loved ones, or them dying before you?

“uhm..probably them dying before i would..to spare them the grief”

33. What are your stances on the spectrum? 

“in a social standpoint or a biological standpoint??”

“biologically i lowkey enjoy the diversity..how each group has something unique to them like the lower spectrum of trolls having a higher possibility of psionics..or purples with chucklevoodoos..”

“socially i really wish there wasnt such a divide..and its not like we have a choice in the matter were forced based on our blood color to fall into a certain level of financial and social hierarchy as a form of control and division..”

“honestly if i could give away all my money and not automatically get a refill i would..”

35. If you were empress for a day what would you do? 

“upend the status quo and dismantle the hierarchy..”

“..also give lowbloods a lot of money to live comfortably so they can begin the careers they wanted to do but never had the means to do them”

37. What do you fear loosing most? A possession, your senses, loved one, ect?

“the thing i fear most is losing someones trust in me...to irreparably damage a relationship with no hope of returning...ha..”

39. What is your biggest dream in life and how far would you go to obtain it. 

“i dont know...im pretty content in my life as it is; i have my shop..my garden..my hobbies..i just wish i had someone to share all of this with i guess”

41. Are there any people in your life you miss? What would you do if you could see them again? 

“....apologize..”

43. Do you consider yourself a material troll? If giving up every thing you owned meant eternal happiness would you do it?

“as cluttered and material-filled as my hive is i could give it all up if it meant id find eternal happiness..”

“..that being said i do fear losing everything ive worked on because i..kind of lack a fallback plan..”

[menod-the-otter]

01: no but it could be worse 02: @panry 03: a lot of things. my #1 biggest regret ever is losing one of my closest irl friends at the start of this year, and coming out to my mother when i wasnt ready at all is a very close #2 04: yea 05: complicated? aromantic but with a lot of random sexts with ppl 06: in a way that can send a powerful message to the powers that make peoples lives worse 07: salted sticks 08: i dont like sports, the last one i played is volleyball in todays PE class 09: yes, always 10: ive never gotten in a big fight, at max exchanged blows with someone and went out own ways. last time i hit someone with malicious intent was around spring of this year 11: my friends, they mean the world and more to me 12: when i got an extreme fever earlier this autumn i couldnt sleep for an entire night but i dont think it made quite up to 48 hours 13: dont even get me started 14: i miss my online friends when they arent awake, every day 15: used to have a guinea pig. his name was chewey 16: impossible to say, mostly neutreal with a slight hint of both good and bad, though the specifics of what im feeling at any given point could never be given a name 17: never made out with anyone :fire_emoji: 18: only the dangerous ones. and even them im moresso aware of the danger they pose as opposed to an irrational fear 19: only to win the lottery, i wouldnt change anithing ive done even if i regret it. im shaped by my past and ive learnt from my mistakes. if i didnt make them in the past i may make them in the future. 20: nowhere, i hug my big bear plush and pretend its people, though, if that counts 21: stay at home and chill 22: NEVER. 23: i dont 24: i used to be really good at english. still am, i just dont learn it anymore. got too good at it to learn it i guess 25: complicated 26: macdonals menu 27: i dont think so? 28: no 29: never had a bf 30: neighbours loud 31: yeah :) my friends love me very very much and i love them even more 32: orange is the goattt 33: i dont think so 34: oh boy. i get absolutely absurd dreams and this was weird even for me. itd take way too long to describe. like literally 5x longer than this post already is /srs 35: my classmates 36: im rather irrational when it comes to this. when someone just wronged me , yes, too easily even. when someone wrongs my idea of themselves, usually no 37: forget, memory issues go hard 38: hard to say. im not sure if i ever had an objectivly best year of my life. its all been different 39: never kissed anyone 40: no but thats hot 51 (why are 10 just missing): lasagna 52: no 53: porn 54: sometimes yes 55: id like to think not 56: like 0 57: no 58: huge storm outside, wind blowing a lot 59: yes 60: no 61: it can be silly and i like it but in the way where its like '' - my tumby hurts - oh poor baby'' and not like ''hey baby'', the second way is weird and straight white man vibes 62: my friends, nature 63: already have! 64: ive never kissed anyone 65: i panic and feel guilty about it 66: yeah 67: my classmate 68: @panry 69: no 70: @panry

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[starspaceace]

alright! until 6.55 in a week and it adds the worst fish of the expansion to catch my list of fish i need to catch still in xiv can be contained in a single screenshot

im just gonna complain under the read more about each of them. i have beef with these fish im rambling but i want it out there

cinder surprise fucking sucks bc you can see that the next time it is available is 4 hours from screenshot which is like at 350 am. the next time after that is like 1130 9 days later i literally put it in my calendar on my phone. i have to do this to remind myself of the reasonable times to catch this thing like what the fuck is this ????

i have caught ealad skaan but i keep it on the list. as a reminder. one of ffxiv's worst fish and i have it by some miracle

aster trivi is just straight catch thats got some annoying timing but not as bad as cinder surpise as an example

celestial is a weird one bc it also has weird timing but the way the weather works its either available for a 2 minute window or a 23 minute window. the 23 one doesnt help i still havent gotten it

lancetfish you fucking menace you can never catch two mora tecta to pop the requirements for it in one window so youve gotta try and get one in a window before it and it sucks i hate this guy ive never gotten the intuition for it its complicated and its also a notorious one. ill just have to tough it out and afk in the area for it for periods of time to get a chance to get it. it'll probably be one of the last ones i get if i manage to be able to get it before dawntrail

pearl sucks but its just a mooch cycle i cant seem to get it in

ambling sucks bc the lizard you need to catch to mooch it i can never catch it sucks

maru crab is like aster trivi not as annoying i just havent caught it yet

charibert also like that sucks but lower on the list of the fish i hate

the last 4 are just more common ones i havent gotten for some reason or another. not for lack of trying as of late since theyre last on the list but like theyre all available right after another and for some reason they elude me

i dont know how many fish the .55 update adds but theyre gonna be a pain in the ass and ill also have to update my gear at some point but i will get it. my rarest achievements in game are fishing ones now

[rainbowgothdisaster]

so when i first started working at dg i knew they were anti union, as most corporations are, but its whatever bcuz im working for fun. i know my rights and i know my closest allies will always be my coworkers (note for later)

then i watch the cbls and actually cackle at what they're saying. most of the "we want a personal relationship" crap is whatever, thats pr so i brushed by it and was mostly listening to how they they lied and their fearmongering tactics ("[. . .] they forced me to strike and march the picketline, how is that looking out for my best interest?"). it was genuinely funny to me and like many ppl told me that if union organizers come by i should absolutely join or sign or whatever.

but generally i considered my store manager seperate from big ppl in the company bcuz of how friendly she is. i knew she still wasnt like. 100% trustworthy so i refuse to explicitly disclose that im disabled or if i do then only vaguely. ive only had little problems not worth bringing up to me, and genuinely want to help out as much as i can to keep the store open since were a bit short staffed. the paycheck is definitely a plus but i wanted a job to consistently get out of the house and beat back seasonal depression with a stick.

but i realized today i may have been a bit too accomodating. i rushed to work after a therapist appt, i covered for the manager, and i even came in early this week and had a 9hr shift, this is my first job and im having fun even if its a lil taxing on me. im not giving more than im getting (yet) but im def giving more than im used to.

i made plans for tomorrow knowing ive had a day off for several days, and i know that she changes the schedule around but id only noticed her changing what hours ppl come in. so i genuinely didnt expect my day off to disappear, esp when i covered for her last week and didnt have my sat/wed off for 23 and 27 since the store is closed right in the middle for christmas day.

it was fine at first, i was upset id miss my plans (it would go on without me) but while getting ready for work i progressively got more upset until i was ready and ate some food, felt better, got to work, had my two alone hours rushing thru the line and trying to work totes as much as i could where i again just got progressively more upset. but at that point i was kinda resigned to it. id begrudgingly accepted it, i know i have to get used to that kind of thing bcuz i cant always take off for events and event cant always be planned around my schedule. besides i had been having a lovely day aside from that so it was almost okay.

my coworker showed up and i vented to her a bit and she straight up told me she shouldnt do that and that if she were me shed tell her she couldnt show. it kinda went on like that with her gassing me up, so i just texted her and let her know i would not be able to work bcuz i had plans i made before the schedule change that i didnt tell her about bcuz it was on my day off so it shouldnt have been a problem.

she said she also had plans, i repeated myself that i wouldnt be able to work and she repeated herself and said i should contact the district manager and that she was on vacation and turning her phone off for the next two days. at this point i was on break and i did genuinely start crying, i said im not giving more than im getting but im still an autistic with chronic pain, severe depression, severe anxiety, and chronic fatigue syndrome. doing things like learning how to take a truck over the phone, learning how to sell propane over the phone, working our busiest hours (3-6) by myself, and general customer service bullshit is like. like mentally im better than i could be but goddamn this store is a nightmare.

i got the district managers number from my coworker and messaged her, and my coworker let the assistant manger know what was going on.

the store is closing early tomorrow unless someone steps in bcuz we cant close alone. my coworker has no problem getting an early start to her vacation (that has been planned since before i even started working!!!!!) and i am going to have a lovely time tomorrow.

you forget how ppl help you realize when you're being mistreated until ppl step in and have your back. we had someone transfer out of the store bcuz of this exact same scheduling bs, and our assistant manager was about to quit over this store manager.

but shes been demoted (seperate thing) and is transferring so were all staying right where we are :)