#THAT HE WAS ABLE TO MOVE ON AND BE HAPPY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

misfit-megumi · 1 year ago

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I'M SOBBING!!!! THIS IS ONE OF THE FICS THAT I'LL BE REREADING FOR SURE

THANK YOU FOR THIS MASTERPIECE, DIRA, THANK YOU FOR THE SWEET JOURNEY 😭🩷😭🩷😅🩷

Passing Peonies - Post War Touya Todoroki - Part XIV

When the war ended, Midoriya Izuku had proven one thing: That Villains did not need to be killed to be defeated. That you could make friends from enemies.

Touya Todoroki, formerly known as Dabi, had been one of those taken into the rehabilitation program. After one year of intense physical and psychological therapy, he's got the chance to prove himself. To prove that he can be a part of this world.

Complete fic length: 30.600 words - Masterlist

Warnings: poor mental health and resentment against past actions is mentioned, burn scars etc. as well. There is angst but this is mostly soft Touya coming back to his family...

Part 14 - Finale: (3,3k words)

It’s the same judge as last time, looking down at him with strangely empathic eyes.

“You’ve done well for yourself.” He says. “How do you plan to keep up? How do you see yourself in the next few years?”

Not for the first time Touya’s glad that his case has so much attention on it that it’s handled behind closed doors.

Behind him sit only his rehabilitation officer and his lawyer, two people he’s always had a professional relationship with. There are no other people here to listen to him speak and it helps him to be as honest as he can be.

Still his voice shakes as he starts to speak.

“I know I’ve done a lot of bad… bad things, in the past. It feels like a different life but to others, it isn’t. It’s still me, who did these things, who gets to live while others don’t and I get-”

He’s running out of breath and the judge, the name tag reads Morisaki, offers him a rare smile.

“Breathe, son. You have nothing to fear in here.”

There are tears pricking his eyes and he doesn’t want to cry, wants to stay strong until the end, but he’s wiping his nose with his hand now, fully aware that that won’t look good in any way.

“I don’t think I deserve it,” he starts anew, “But if I could, I’d want to keep doing what I’m doing. It’s not much, but taking care of plants, caring for something that’s not myself, feels like something that I have to do. Like I was meant to do it as if my quirk was assigned wrong at birth. I know that the business has grown and I’m not mad about that, that more and more people enjoy plants and are learning how to care for them. I like showing others how to care. I wasn’t ready when Mari came but I’d want to try again, to help someone make a change, to help someone find their place in the world.”

“What about your quirks?”

Touya looks down at the table in front of him and thinks of you.

“I’d love to explore my ice quirk. If I really have one, if I could use it without hurting myself. But the fire-” He almost chokes on the word and has to try again. “The fire quirk… I don’t… I know it would be useful, at least if I still was fireproof, in case of a fire. And I’d love to be able to help but I… I don’t want to use it. I have hurt too many people with it and if you have to take it away, I will accept that. Gladly.”

“Your therapist has mentioned the possibility of lasting trauma. You could regret that decision once you’ve overcome it.”

He looks up at the man, into those strange eyes and swallows thickly before he speaks.

“I would not regret it. I’m not allowed to regret it.”

Silence fills the room. No one speaks for a while and there’s only the digital clock hanging on the wall above the judge that reminds Touya that time hasn’t frozen.

“Son,” Judge Morisaki starts and the word pierces his heart, has him bleeding out even before he hears the rest.

“I think you’re doing just fine. I want you to keep doing what you’ve been doing, but I have some restrictions for you, which you must have anticipated. You may not leave Japan. At least for the next five years. In case of a medical emergency or the like, you’d have to file for an exception, but I have to tell you that there’s not much leeway there. I want you to keep going to therapy and if your therapist thinks you’re ready for it, you will receive training in using your ice quirk. I don’t like taking away quirks and I don’t think you should give yours away freely. And I want to see you again in a year. Just because I like listening to your story.”

Touya looks up at him, at his wrinkly face and freckled hands, and wonders how he’s ever been able to question the good in this world.

It’s still here, hidden in the faces of people around him, lurking in their words and actions, their decisions.

When he steps out of the room, he’s not surprised to have no one waiting for him.

He’d told everyone to stay back, that he did not need anyone there to support him.

It had been his decisions that led him here and it would be his decisions that would lead him away again.

He rounds the corner to the foyer only to recognize the bright red hair and the massive build.

“Dad?” His father looks up from his phone and pockets it, rising to his height.

“Why aren’t you a work?” Touya asks but Enji shrugs.

“I couldn’t stay away. I know you didn’t want anyone to be here, but-”

Touya steps forward and hugs him, face pressed into that broad chest that only recently has started feeling like home.

A part of him feels four years old again, proud that he’s like his dad, a fire quirk user.

A part of him feels six years old again, hurt from training, desperation burning in him. He needs to be better than Allmight. Better than everyone before him.

But there’s his dad, holding him like everything’s going to be okay.

A part of him feels thirteen, ready to kill Touya so Dabi will live, but there are his father’s arms around him, holding him, grounding him, reminding him that he is, after all, himself.

A part of him feels twenty-six years old, a little bit lost and a little bit found, knowing not much but at least that… His father will always be there to catch him.

“You’re not coming?” Touya asks when the car stops.

Enji shakes his head with a knowing smile.

“I don’t think you want customers right now.”

“I don’t even know if she wants to see me.”

“I think she will. Just be honest.”

“Yeah.” He sighs and gets out of the car. “Hug Mom from me.”

“I will.”

He watches the car drive off and turns to look.

The flower shop is small, crammed into the space between a coffee shop and a drugstore, a brand new canopy to protect the display outside from the rain. Wooden chairs and tables are lined right outside the big windows, but devoid of plants.

He tries the door, surprised to find it open.

A bell chimes as Touya opens the door and he can’t help but smile at the interior.

It feels like stepping into a tiny jungle, barely contained by the four walls of the building.

Cut flowers of all colors, sizes, and kinds are creatively dispersed between plants that grow up the walls or droop from the ceilings. There’s Bob Junior, the Pancake Plant. A fresh cutting of his Holiday Cactus is on sale. A Peony Bush that will be planted this week.

The smell is intoxicating and he takes a deep breath and feels himself coming home.

“Hello?” He calls out when he can’t spot the owner. “Anyone home?”

Somewhere in the back, he hears a squeak and the sound of quick steps.

“Touya!” Your smile is there but he can tell that you’re holding yourself back, cautious like a shy bird.

There’s so much he wants to say, so much feeling he wants to portray.

“Did I miss the opening?” He freezes when he hears himself speak, the words not what he had intended to say.

“No.” You shake your head. “I was just getting everything ready.”

“Why’s the door open then?” He asks, realizing he’s clinging to a safer topic.

The light in your eyes shifts. “I told you. The door’s always open for you.”

There’s a moment of silence, just you and him, one breathing out, the other breathing in.

“Can we close the door then?” He asks, stumbling over his words, “I don’t… I want to talk to you. Alone. Without a customer coming in.”

“Yeah sure.” You nod stiffly and he turns to lock the door.

“I’m sorry I didn’t help with moving.”

“Rico helped.”

“Yeah but it was supposed to be my job.” There it is again. Or maybe it never left. That tense silence that seems to slip inside his lungs and keep them from expanding, into his stomach that is clenched.

“What did they say?” You ask, voice soft like velvet or flower petals.

His hand is still clutched around the doorknob.

“I can’t leave the country for the next years. Still have to go to therapy. If my therapist thinks I’m ready I can start retraining my quirk.”

“That’s good, right?”

He turns, looks for your eyes. Holds out his hand.

It hangs there, pale in the dim light, scarred and shaking. For a moment he fears you might not take it but then you’re there, your grasp firm.

Maybe you aimed to shake it, like a business deal, but he folds his hand around yours.

“I love you.” The words don’t stumble from his mouth, they don’t slip. There’s nothing accidental about the way they leave him, not like a confession but something that has always been there. An universal truth.

“I know.” You say.

“And I don’t know how I could possibly deserve you, but I… I want you. All of you. Tiny apartment upstairs and cheese sandwich for dinner. With dirt under our fingernails and leafs everywhere. If you still want me-”

You cut him off in the best possible way, one step forward, your lips pressed against his.

When you move back, it’s only the shortest distance.

Your breath washes over his face, your nose is almost touching his and there’s a fire in your eyes he could never be scared of.

“I don’t deserve you.” He doesn’t really know why he says it again. Maybe he wants you to tell him he does, even if he could never believe it. But that’s not you.

You, who always seems to know what to say. You, who cradles his face in her hands as if he’s a flower in bloom.

“This isn’t a gift exchange,” you tell him softly. “This is love.”

Your breath washes over his face and he’s getting lost in your eyes.

His thumb moves across your cheekbone and your lashes kiss his knuckles as you blink.

Time’s frozen, right here in the flower shop, right here with you so close.

“Kiss me,” your eyes whisper. So he does.

🌺.

Passing Peonies,

on my walk,

I catch my breath.

There is something

so endearing

about the way

they hold themselves

so tightly in a fist.

I don’t think they know

their loveliness

or perhaps they do.

I wonder, do they fear

their brief opening?

(Passing Peonies, Cindy Smith)

🌺.

Summer is turning into fall again, the days turning shorter and the nights colder.

Someone left the window cracked during the night and Touya shudders under the cold breeze, drawing further under the blankets, further into you.

You don’t seem too happy about his warmth though, because your knee digs into his back until he groans and slips out from under the covers to close the window.

Your snoring doesn’t stop and he snickers to himself, leans down to place a kiss on the back of your head, and moves toward the bathroom.

He started jogging soon after the flower shop reopened in its original home. It was recommended to him by his therapist and it does clear his head - he just wishes he could convince you to join him.

The air is cool around him as he runs, past the coffee shop and through the park. He can see the peony bush you planted back then, now almost ready for his winterly slumber.

About halfway through, his phone rings and he picks up, glad he remembered to take his headphones with him.

“You’re awake already?” He asks when Hawks groans into the phone instead of a greeting.

“More like still awake. I’m running errands for Rumi. Why do pregnant people always have these crazy food cravings?”

“Isn’t that just outward signs of what the baby wants?”

“I hope not. I can’t have a child that wants to eat one specific kind of gummy bears at fivein the morning. I bet she’s going to be asleep anyway when I come back.”

“So why do you buy them then?” He asks, rounding the corner.

Hawks sighs and there’s a forlorn sound to it Touya knows all too well.

“I don’t know. I just love her, I guess. It’s the way she looks when I hand her the food, it just… you know?”

“Yeah. I know.”

“How did the quirk training go yesterday? I meant to ask you right after but we got kind of busy, you know how it is.”

“I’m still afraid of using the wrong quirk even though it looks like I won’t be able to use fire anyway. But I managed to make an ice rose yesterday, so that was cool.”

“Awesome. Did you gift it to the lady?”

“Not yet. Wednesdays are for Toga. Besides, I just fell into bed and was out like a light.”

He’s just turned the hot water on when the shower curtain is pulled to the side and you stumble into him, naked and still mostly asleep.

“Mornin’” You mumble and let yourself fall into him, trusting that he’ll catch you.

“Morning.” He kisses your wet forehead. “Slept well?”

“Mhm.” He can feel you going slack in his arms and snickers.

“If you want to sleep longer, you should stay in bed. I can’t have you drowning in here.”

“Bed’s empty.” You mumble, fighting against sleep as he washes your hair.

You cling to him like every morning, barely awake but too stubborn to stay in bed longer now that he’s up.

He lifts you out of the shower and wraps you in a towel, asks you about last night to keep you from falling asleep as he dries your hair.

“We need to buy more roses.” You tell him. And: “Toga mentioned she’s thinking about getting a cat.”

“What kind of coffee syrup do you want today.” He asks in between. And: “What do you want to eat for breakfast?”

By the time you’re ready to go downstairs, you resemble a human being, or at least the person he’s grown to know.

After six months of waking up to you at least once a week he’s still not gotten over learning, over knowing you. There is no sweeter thing than finding out something new about you.

Touya turns the key and enters the flower shop, taking a deep breath to inhale the aroma he’s grown so fond of. This is home, he thinks, where it smells like earth and flowers, like silk ribbons and dirty hands.

He turns on the lights and preps everything for the day ahead before stepping back into the backroom where you’re staring at the coffee dripping into your cup.

“Another coffee?.” He asks and leans forward to kiss you.

“It’s too early.” You groan, sinking back into his chest, and closing your eyes.

“I’ve been telling you to go to bed earlier.”

“Mhm.” You mumble. “I don’t remember.”

“Sure you do.” He kisses the crown of your head. “You can take a nap if you want. I can handle the shop until ten.”

“I might take you up on that offer.” You hum. “Tell me about the day.”

“We’re almost out of pre-made bouquets so I’ll be teaching that today and making a few on the side. That Deku kid usually comes in around eleven to have a chat and buy a dozen pink roses, so we gotta make sure there are still some left by that time. There’s that guy with purple hair that’s friends with him, Brainwash or something like that, who buys catnip every two weeks, he should be in today too.”

“You remember all of their orders?” You ask, pulling the full cup from the coffee machine and handing it to him for the extras. He snorts and pulls away to prepare your coffee while you wait.

“Only the ones who are predictable.” He defends himself. You giggle.

The bell chimes and he calls out. “We’re in the back.”

“You better not be making out.” He hears the voice of their newest employee and rolls his eyes in your direction.

“Be nice Touya,” you say when the door opens and Toga steps through, immediately scrunching her nose at the smell of coffee.

“I brought second breakfast.” She proudly presents a bag of puff pastry. “Can I have a hot chocolate?”

“Make it yourself.” She sticks her tongue out at him and you cluck your tongue.

“Touya’s going to show you how to do Bouquets today.” You tell her and she gleams with pleasure.

“Really?”

“Yeah. But stay off the pink roses. Deku’s coming in and you know how he’s about them.”

“Yeah, yeah. All pink roses are reserved for Ochako, I know. And the Daisies are reserved for Shouto.”

He furrows his brow, even more so when he sees you shush Toga, a finger pressed to your lips.

“What? What are you not telling me?”

“Nothing, baby.” You try to calm him unconvincingly.

“He’s in looooove!” Toga sings instead. “He just doesn’t know it yet. Buys flowers for someone at his agency each weak when you’re not looking.”

“No!” Touya blinks. “Really? Did he say something about them?”

“Touya.” You chide him again but he’s too invested now.

“Well, he said they really like cheese and asked if I knew where to get some. I didn’t know but Boss knew this great restaurant.”

“Oh, I wonder which restaurant you recommended.” He says and you shrug, but don’t bother hiding your smile.

The day is long, as it always is.

Deku and Ochako take Toga out for lunch and Touya’s not mad about having you all for himself even if he has to share your attention with a few random customers coming in.

“How long did Toga stay last night?” He asks when you’re alone again, handing you a ribbon to tie around his newest bouquet. He’s still struggling with those fuckers.

“I took her home around midnight.”

“She comes over too often. We should get her a kitten.”

“She’s lonely. But it’s not a bad idea. Also…” Your voice drops a little lower as you whisper the next part. “Don’t tell anyone I told you this but I think Rico’s falling for her.”

“He better.” He starts prepping a new Bouquet. “Because she’s definitely interested in him too.”

“Huh. She didn’t tell me that.”

He grins. “Didn’t need to. I just know her like that.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask when you place your sandwiches on the little table.

“Just admiring the view.” He tells you and you snort, climbing into his lap instead of taking a seat at the table.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” He kisses you softly.

For a moment, time freezes.

There’s only you and him. A million plants to care for, sandwiches and miso soup that are going to get cold. Just life how it’s supposed to be.

In a minute, he’ll show you the ice flower he made yesterday. He might ask you if you’d mind him moving in completely or if you prefer having one night per week for yourself - he knows you don’t. You always complain about missing him.

You might watch a movie on the TV set that Shouto bought you or read that poetry collection about flowers together he found last month.

But right now, that’s not important. All of that can wait.

Life is good, because he’s with you.

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