#TFA will return thursday
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cinamun · 2 days ago
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Life insurance
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wipbigbang · 3 years ago
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2021 Round - Artists Claims (Round 2)
Round 2 of claims for artists are open! The second round will go this week and then I'll post a new round on Thursday, opening it up for thirds. Everybody spread the word! We have 70 story summaries below for you to choose from, and this round, you may choose 2 stories to do art for! Just use a different check in ID with each sign-up.
This year, art claims are working a little differently than in years past. We are using a google form to streamline things, which should make things easier both for you as participants and us mods. To claim a story, the form requires email, check in ID, and the identifying number of your first choice of story. Putting your top three choices is best in case your first or second has already been chosen. Please be sure you've read the FAQ before claiming.
Click here to claim a story!
Star Wars #62 Title: In Vino Pairing/Characters Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Mildly Dubious Consent (the characters have a consensual sexual encounter while both are drunk, which leads to sober regret and misunderstandings). Summary At the end of the Clone Wars, Anakin is spiraling and comes onto Obi-Wan while both are drunk. Against his better judgment, Obi-Wan goes along with it. The next morning, Obi-Wan pretends he doesn't remember, thinking this will be better for everyone, but confusing Anakin, who isn't sure if he dreamed the encounter or not. Their strained relationship results in them separating during the next mission, and a distracted Obi-Wan is captured and drugged. When Anakin rescues him, they end up trapped together and finally work out their feelings. #63 Title: Starkiller Day Pairing/Characters Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Rating: Teen Warnings/Tags: Temporary character death Summary The morning after the destruction of Starkiller base, Hux woke up…to find it was the morning of the destruction of Starkiller base. It happened again the next morning, and the next, and the next, no matter what he said or did. He didn’t know what caused this phenomenon or what he needed to do to break the loop, and the one person who might shed some light on the problem was the one person he wanted to talk to the least. But if he didn’t ask for Kylo Ren’s help, he might remain stuck on the worst day of his life for the rest of eternity. #64 Title: Start a Fire Pairing/Characters Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren. (minor characters: Snoke, Knights of Ren) Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: Graphic Violence, minor character death, mind control, mild gore, injury. Canon-divergent AU, TFA compliant, references to Phasma novel (specifically the murder of Brendol Hux), smoking, alcohol, injured mind, injury recovery, trauma, plotting to take down Snoke, reluctant allies to lovers, pining, feelings realisation. Summary After Ren returns weakened by his training under Snoke, Hux and Ren team up to take down the Supreme Leader. Neither fully trusts the other and their tentative partnership ignites new and old frictions. #65 Title: Untitled Pairing/Characters Thrawn/female OC (Treasa), female OC (Treasa)/male OC (working name Feylan), Wedge Antilles/Female OC (Treasa); an assortment of other characters including additional OCs and other canon characters Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Polyamory, polygamy (specifically polyandry), medical stuff, medical trauma, characters dealing with PTSD/other mental health issues, slavery (mentioned), Summary This is a long and complicated fic dealing with multiple characters and their intertwining relationships and the major events happening around them. Treasa is a human from Earth who was part of a team testing Earth's first hyperdrive. Ultimately, she is the mission's only survivor who is rescued and saved by the Chiss. Meanwhile, Grand Admiral Thrawn is thought dead by the Republic and Empire alike, but he has in fact survived and returned home to Chiss space, where he is tending his wounds and battling his demons. Thrawn and Treasa make an unlikely pair, but make a pair they do. And on top of it all, the Chiss face a new mystery -- ships full of people disappearing, leaving the ships themselves and all cargo behind, but with no trace of what happened to the crews and passengers. As Treasa slowly rises through the ranks of Chiss politics and Thrawn returns to military service, they will both be instrumental in solving this mystery. Star Wars: The Clone Wars #66 Title: Untitled Pairing/Characters CT-7567 | Rex, Ahsoka Tano, CT-21-0408 | CT-1409 | Echo, CT-5597 | Jesse Rating: Teen Warnings/Tags: Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath Summary Order 66 partial fix-it, Rex Ahsoka and Echo have to figure out how to save those on the Venator starship, and then proceed to save everyone they can from the Empire.
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starwarsfangirl · 5 years ago
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TRoS
My reaction and thoughts about the conclusion of the Skywalker Saga and TRoS.  If you haven’t seen it by now, and don’t want to know anything about the events in the movie, scroll on by.
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Parts of it were brilliant. Parts of it was pure WTF.  
First, I have to say: Kylo/Ben’s hair throughout the entire movie... holy cow we are blessed by that man’s sexy hair! *Swoon*
I loved Poe’s, Rey’s, and Finn’s interactions throughout the movie.  Rey and Poe both getting their blood up about everything was fun to watch.  
I was confused at first about Finn seemingly becoming Force Sensitive out of nowhere, but as I thought about it between the first viewing on Thursday and second on Friday, and talking to my brilliant sister, it does make sense.  Snoke asked Kylo in TFA, “There’s been an awakening, have you felt it?”  It makes sense Finn and Jannah and her whole company of stormtroopers are Force Sensitive.  The kids had been stolen all over the galaxy wherever the First Order could take control and nab the kids.  They had been indoctrinated and brainwashed to follow orders without question.  They were taught to not even have compassion for weaker members of their squad or company.  So to throw all that brainwashing off and say, “No!” makes sense when Finn and Jannah talk about “it was a feeling.”  
So their Force Sensitivity was awakened, and Rey’s was shot out of a cannon so she could be the equal to Kylo Ren.
At the first viewing, I cried when Leia died.  I knew she would have to at sometime during the movie, but it was her last act to reach out in the Force to her son, to draw him back to the light.  I kept crying when Rey also felt her master’s death and healed Ben’s wound that she inflicted during his distraction. I was almost done crying when Han’s voice broke the silence and I started sobbing all over again. I don’t think the tears ever really stopped until I was in the car to go home.  And I’m not a crier, so to have tears flowing for that long is super unusual for me.
Luke’s scene felt like an apology to the angry fanboys of the Fandom Menace. The whole “a Jedi’s lightsaber deserves respect” all the way to the Force Ghost lifting the X-wing from the water.  I guess we’re just going to ignore that Luke had stripped panels off it for his hut.  We’re just going to pretend that water over YEARS has absolutely no effect whatsoever on wiring, electronics, metal.  Nope. It’s in perfect flying condition.  Zoom!
And that brings me to Rey and how they totally fucked her over just to appease those same angry fanboys that a mere girl had the audacity to be powerful enough to be Kylo’s equal.  The whole movie would still make sense without her being **A PALPATINE**.  Good grief, that’s like some bad fanfic (or typical online roleplay, which I used to do way back in the day).  Her power is not hers because the Force CHOSE HER because she’s good and always chooses to be good. And it’s a choice just like Harry Potter chose Gryffindor over Slytherin.  No, they made her powerful not because of her connection to one man BUT TWO! TWO MEN!  She and Kylo are a dyad in the Force, one soul living in two bodies!  That’s the only basis for her power.  JJ totally ignored everything he laid out in HIS FIRST MOVIE.  Seriously.  Just to PANDER to the angry fanboys.  
Where did all the Sith or Sith Acolytes come from to be there on Exegol?  Who built that massive fleet?  Where did Palps get the people to man them?  Surely there’s not that many Humans (and that’s what we saw onscreen, Humans, or Humanoids.  I didn’t see a single Final Order crewmember or Sith Trooper with a weird head shape or four arms) out in the Unknown Regions. People would notice. A Resurgent-class Star Destroyer featured a complement of 19,000 officers and 55,000 enlisted personnel. That’s a lot of freaking people.
If she was going to take a family name, which she didn’t need to do, she’s Rey, and that’s good enough, it should have been Solo.  
Rey loved Han Solo.  Rey loved Leia Organa (Solo).  And she so so so loved Ben Solo.  And he loved her in return.  He was totally gobsmacked by her the moment the Skywalker saber sailed past his face and into her hand.  From that moment on, he was in love.  She respected Luke, but Luke was an asshole to her.  Luke was the reason Ben ultimately became Kylo.  
Can I just say, when Ben isn’t restraining himself to not hurt Rey in a lightsaber duel, he’s freaking amazing!! He was spectacular in the throne room and again on Exegol.  And SO MUCH his father’s son!  I loved that he shot the guy without looking just like his Dad did in TFA.  And that half bow, half shrug at the Knights of Ren when Rey passed him the lightsaber, that was a Han Solo move too!
The resurrection and kiss and Ben and Rey’s smiles were beautiful and soft and happy. Her thumb running down his cheek was so intimate and sweet. Both of them were so happy.  
I know the soundtrack lists the Tatooine scene as “A New Home” I don’t look at as she is stranded there.  Desert people who like the desert feel the most comfortable in the desert.  It makes sense she would want to be where Luke grew up as continues her growth as a Jedi.  That’s why she built her own lightsaber, afterall.  She has BB8 and the Falcon, so she’s not stuck there. It would be a good place to build a Jedi Academy for Broom Boy and others to find her and learn.
Rey has an acquired family. She’s not alone. She has her hairy dad-like figure in Chewbacca, Poe as a brother, and Finn as a brother and best friend.
My ReyLo heart is shattered because Ben died.  My head knows he had to because he would never be allowed to live happily ever after with Rey at the end of the movie.  He’s a war criminal and would be held accountable for all the crimes and atrocities his First Order committed. Though I’m hopeful that Project Luminous somehow brings him back, it makes sense for fans who only watch the movies and not the animated shows or read books for this to be his ending.
But Luke taught me, “No one is ever really gone.”
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cosmomoore · 5 years ago
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I have a theory about The Mandalorian, but honestly this is just because I thought about it way more than I should have. Mild The Mandalorian spoilers ahead, so I will put it under a cut (I am going to mention a relationship that was established in The Mandalorian Episode 4) and, oddly enough, a mild Frozen 2 spoiler as well.
The Mandalorian is set 5 years after Return of the Jedi (ROTJ) and The Force Awakens (TFA) is set 30 years after ROTJ. Rey is ~19 Years Old in TFA - this will become important in a second.
And with Disney backing up the release date of the penultimate Mandalorian episode to Wednesday, ahead of the Thursday The Rise of Skywalker (TROS) premiere it got me thinking.
Now that the Mandalorian (Mando) is aiding to keep Baby Yoda safe, he is basically aligning himself with the resistance, and since Mando met Cara Dune and they seemed to have hit it off (plus she is rumored to return for another episode), there is a possibility a relationship will form. Plus, Cara Dune truly wanted to care for Baby Yoda - meaning she essentially sides with the resistance as well.
Now if Disney puts a five year time skip in The Mandalorian (or not, they could always ret-con Rey’s age, because I don’t think it is mentioned within any of the films) which would allow Cara and his relationship to develop further and also allow Baby Yoda to age a little more, then they could conceivably adopt or have a child themselves (I think adoption is more likely because Mando and Cara are both POC and Rey is white - unless they want to retcon that a la Frozen 2, plus The Mando could get involved in some random planet’s skirmish and Rey’s actual parents get killed so he’s like wth let’s get another baby, why not?) and due to the nature of their careers they may have to leave said child. Therefore, there could be a possibility that Rey’s parents are Mando and Cara, who became resistance members and had to leave Rey for her own safety. 
That would also tie-in to the idea that Rey wasn’t selected at random in TFA, Leia, Luke, and Hahn could have already knew about Rey because of her being left behind by two resistance members. And the story about her parents being “no good drunkards” (paraphrased) could have been a story she told herself due to the trauma from being left behind.
So while I doubt any of this will actually happen, it would make for a nice tie-in to explain Rey’s parents and also establishing why she was so good at what she does.
Personally, I think it is best if Rey’s parents stay nobodies and she is amazing just because, but it would also be kind of cool to tie in Mando while also showing her force power comes from within since Mando and Cara do not appear to be force users.
For what it is worth, I am posting this ahead of watching Episode 5. I am eager to see what happens in Episode 7 because I am excited Deborah Chow is directing again!
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simonjadis · 7 years ago
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my (obviously spoiler-free) hopes for The Last Jedi, which I am seeing on Thursday night
1. Show me who Snoke is
Snoke is the Supreme Leader of the First Order, but we know next to nothing about him. I know that we can’t expect to learn much in TLJ for whatever reason, but my opinion on the First Order will be largely contingent on my opinion of its leader. Sheev Palpatine was a life-changingly excellent character and my favorite throughout Star Wars canon. I don’t expect Snoke to top that or match it, but I would like to be impressed.
2. On a related note, make me like Kylo Ren
Like many people, my response when Kylo Ren removed his helmet in The Force Awakens was “oh no, he’s hot!” He inherited his grandfather’s very, very nice hair. Though that earns a lot of points with me, I found myself disappointed by Kylo because he struck me as . . . weak. Not only weak in the sense that Rey defeated him (Rey is amazing so losing to her isn’t some grave insult), but weak in the sense that he’s conflicted, exercises little self-control, and took forever to kill his dad. I have nothing against Han Solo personally, but have little respect for a character whose approach to patricide is anything but “I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH!” Show me that he’s powerful like his grandfather, or ambitious like his mother, or ride-or-die like his grandmother.
3. Rey! Rey! Rey! Rey!
Rey is amazing. She’s powerful and precious and she warms the cockles of my heart. I would love confirmation that she is descended from Sheev Palpatine. I have a lot of reasons for believing that she may be, but I won’t list them here. I want to see her at her best. While I sadly don’t expect to see her wield the Dark Side in this film (or, if she does, I imagine that it would be for just a moment before she succumbs to the weenie side of the Force), I’d love to see her kick ass. Even those misguided dogmatic jedi did cool stuff occassionally.
4. Show me that this is a film by people who actually like Star Wars
Rogue One was made by people who liked Star Wars. I did not get that impression from The Force Awakens. I loved TFA but it left me with so many questions, and seemed like it was trying to apologize for everything after Return of the Jedi ... or perhaps even everything since The Empire Strikes Back. I have zero patience for that. The prequels were good, and The Clone Wars was better still.
5. Luke & Leia
Treat my boy Luke right. He’s my sweet gay son and he deserves to be treated well. Also I am 100% ride-or-die for Carrie Fisher and, through her, for Leia. I don’t much care for jedi in general and I won’t wig out if something happens to Old Luke, but a lot of people still love him. Do right by the twins that Padme Amidala died needlessly to birth, okay?
6. Stormpilot
Treat my boy Finn right. I don’t know why he’s not wielding a lightsaber in this since he seems to be clearly Force-sensitive, but give him some cool moments and acknowledge his connection to the Force, please. And give him time with his beautiful boyfriend, Poe Dameron. They love each other.
Finally, I don’t care much about the ships. I mean, spaceships yes! But relationships. I ship Stormpilot, but I also ship Finn with Rey. If Kylo Ren and/or Rose end up in there somewhere, that’s 100% fine by me.
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megabadbunny · 7 years ago
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Star Wars ramble
I have thoughts about the new Star Wars, and this is where I shall barf them out. Spoilers ahead!
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Holy hell this movie is a mixed bag. There were things I utterly adored, and things I absofuckinglutely hated. I saw the movie at a preview screening Thursday night and it has seriously taken me the last four days to really parse through stuff in my head, because this bag is so mixed, it’s like the overturned candy bucket of an overenthusiastic trick-or-treater whose neighborhood contains the best of the best and the bottom-of-the-barrel-est of the worst. In short, as far as I’m concerned, The Last Jedi is brimming with full-size Snickers bars and stale candy corn alike.
First, I wanna start out with some pros (gimme those sweet sweet Reese cups and boxes o’ Nerds, pleez!):
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- ALL THE LEIA. Every single bit of Leia. 
- And no, it’s not just nostalgia/grief/rose-tinted glasses coloring my view here. Her character is just so excellent. Was her floating-through-space thing super cheesy? It sure fucking was, and I fucking loved every cheesy-ass second of it, because how fucking awesome is that??? Getting to see Leia use the Force in the weirdest, magical-est of ways?? Especially because, given Carrie Fisher’s passing, I was afraid they might have to cut Leia’s part short in the movie, so for a few minutes, I genuinely thought she might have been dead during the space battle. So seeing her come back just flooded me with happiness--and seeing her come back using the Force, surviving the motherfucking vacuum of space using the Force, was just one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen onscreen.
- Also, goddamn, Carrie Fisher’s acting is underrated. The moments where she could sense her son’s presence, the exchange with Luke, just, gah. All so beautifully done. And watching her butt heads with Poe was so satisfying. AND SEEING HER WITH A BLASTER AGAIN??? BE STILL MY FRANTICALLY HAMMERING NERDY HEART.
- Luke’s character arc in this was brilliant. Depressing? Yep. Heartbreaking? You betcha. But brilliant. I can definitely see why Mark Hamill took issue with it. All of our previous exposure to Luke (in the films, anyway) has shown us someone full of optimism, positive to the point of recklessness, brash and impulsive but caring and dedicated and overall committed to making the galaxy a better place. So to see him so bitter and closed-off--it hurt. But it also made sense. A person can only take so much heartbreak and pain and failure before they seal themselves off. And his return to form at the end of the movie was so much sweeter. I won’t lie, in many ways, I would have preferred things to have gone differently for the Skywalker family--not that everything has to be peaches and roses and sunshine all the time, but it feels like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson might have shat on the Skywalkers a bit more than necessary for the sake of making things *~*dark*~* or *~*edgy*~* or *~*gritty*~*, a la Rowling in the seventh Harry Potter. But more on that later...and in the meantime, given the circumstances, I very much appreciated Luke’s portrayal.
- The Luke and Yoda parallels, I love them. 
- I appreciated seeing repercussions for the brash actions of certain characters, particularly Poe. I really liked Poe in this movie, and I really enjoyed seeing him be both right and horribly horribly wrong, since so many movies tend to idolize that type of character. It was refreshing for the movie to acknowledge the death toll involved in harebrained schemes gone wrong. It’s really easy to overlook the casualties of unnamed background characters in any war movie, but especially fantasy war movies; this movie didn’t shy away from letting us know that war is not glamorous, people do die, and it all takes a toll. I was deeply appreciative that Poe really took some of Holdo’s stuff to heart near the end of the movie.
And now, some cons, i.e., root beer barrels and Hubba Bubba gum:
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- Gonna get the biggest one out of the way right upfront: The fuck is up with Rey’s parentage reveal. The actual fuck. Don’t get me wrong: I appreciate, in many ways, that this is a broadening of the Star Wars universe, and that the entire Star Wars universe does not revolve around the Skywalkers. I don’t have a problem with that. I have a problem with what feels like a bait-and-switch pulled by Rian Johnson. It really feels like TFA set things up to reveal that Rey was Luke’s kid--see this post for more on that, if you wanna go full nerd (and I doooooo), but long story short, why bother with Maz’s line about how the lightsaber was Luke’s, and his father’s before him, and “now it calls to you,” why when Rey touched the lightsaber would she have visions about events for which this particular lightsaber was not present, why have the TFA trailer voiceover with Luke saying “The Force runs strong in my family, my father has it, I have it, my sister has it, you have that power too,” why all the parallels between Anakin and Luke and Rey, why why why? Why show Rey’s memories of her family leaving interspersed with visions of Luke’s personal trauma? Why show her family leaving the planet only to reveal that they apparently drank themselves to death right on Jakku?
Rian Johnson claims he wants to subvert tropes and expectations, and while I can respect that, there’s a huge difference between subverting audience expectations and flat-out lying to your audience. At worst, he’s guilty of the latter; at best, he’s guilty of some very poorly-planned and lazy writing.
I know I have read before that originally, JJ Abrams was going to reveal Rey’s parentage in TFA but Rian Johnson asked him not to, and between that and bits of the TFA screenplay (”He looks at Rey. A kindness in his eyes, but there's something tortured, too. He doesn't need to ask her who she is, or what she is doing here. His look says it all”) and the fact that Daisy Ridley thought “it was obvious” and “the question was already answered” in TFA, not to mention that Rian Johnson talks about “making a choice” re: Rey’s parents--long story short, I would not be surprised to find out that JJ Abrams had originally planned to reveal that Rey was Luke’s daughter, but Rian asked him not to so he could pursue his own agenda. It just feels like a move worthy of Moffat-- “Ha ha, you thought this one thing because I all-but-explicitly said it was so, but actually, nope! Here’s something else! Ha ha!”
Like, Luke’s projection at the end of the film? That’s actually a great example of the subversion of audience expectations. We assume that Luke is actually there in-person, because why wouldn’t we? But hindsight shows viewers that the film actually contains a fair bit of precedent, hints, and setup for Luke to project his presence rather than show up in-person; for one thing, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen Force-projection in the film. For another thing, Luke says in the film, repeatedly, that nothing Rey can say or do will get him to leave his island, and it ends up being technically true (whoo foreshadowing). Then there’s the matter of how he looks different than he has for the majority of the film, and how his boots don’t leave imprints on the planet surface like everyone else’s.
Does the film want us to assume that Luke is there in-person? Yep! Is the film playing on our own presumptions and expectations and letting our brains fill in the blanks, even if they do it incorrectly? Sure is! But does the film lie to us? No. The clues are there, even if you don’t know to look for them on first watch. This subversion is earned. But this same well-crafted storytelling is simply nowhere to be seen as far as the reveal of Rey’s parentage is concerned. 
I’m sure some will argue that stuff like Rey’s weird endless-mirror-thing on the island offers enough hints that her parents are nobodies (showing her only herself when she asks about her family), that the film isn’t lying or retconning stuff from TFA. But for a film that relies so heavily on its predecessor in some ways, picking up literal moments, it seems, after the end of TFA, The Last Jedi just doesn’t seem all that interested in furthering a lot of TFA’s plot points. Who’s Snoke? Who cares! Finn and Rey have an intriguing and compelling relationship? Let’s put that on the backburner and introduce an entirely new person instead. Remember all the things in TFA that suggest a connection between Luke and Rey, whether familial or not? How’s about we give literally zero shits about that personal connection, at all, and pursue one between Rey and Kylo Ren instead? Let’s just drop a whole bunch of shit from the first movie, then come in with a battering-ram and say, “Oh, by the way, this thing isn’t what you thought it was. Psych!” 
Long story short, it would have been different if the deep Force connection between Luke and Rey had been explored in TLJ, to the point where you could tell that Rey is genuinely starting to wonder if Luke could actually be her father. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for her to wonder that, given the circumstances! But if you had tiny hints and foreshadowings sprinkled throughout, suggesting that maybe, possibly, she’s not from this famous, important family after all, no matter how desperately she wishes it--imagine, growing up thinking you’re nobody, and then realizing you could be the ultimate somebody!--then the final revelation that her parents aren’t just no-names, they’re despicable shitheads who sold their daughter for drinking-money--that would be absolutely crushing. As it is, it’s just sort of frustrating. The movie had ample opportunity to tie in her attachment to Luke with her familial issues; finding out that Luke isn’t her father, that they’re not family, would be a powerful potential breaking point for her. Especially if, at some point near the end of the film, Rey realizes that her garbage biological family doesn’t matter--it’s the family she has chosen for herself, Luke and Leia and particularly Finn, that’s important.
I’m not saying Rey has to be a Skywalker--I’m saying that the movie did a very bad job revealing the fact that she isn’t. The setup makes for a very unsatisfying payoff, not to mention it kind of feels like the audience was lied to. It feels like Rian Johnson sacrificed storytelling for the sake of putting his own *~*dark*~*~ and *~*~gritty*~*~* and *~*~*realistic*~*~* spin on the Star Wars story. To me (and I’m sure to many others), this revelation did not feel earned, but rather slapped on.
- Not a huuuge fan of the gritty grimdark trend, especially not a huge fan of it in Star Wars. Does the Star Wars saga as a whole have its dark moments? Certainly, and most of them are well-earned. But the whole “Look, another Vader” + Luke’s self-imposed exile + Han and Leia’s separation + Han’s death + the dissolution of the Rebellion/Resistance + being sent right back to square one with the Empire, mark II + Rey’s even-more-tragic-than-we-initially-believed backstory all starts to feel like a bit much after a while. Like “Look how dark and depressing we are, look how edgy, look how subversive.” In an age where the cinema seems obsessed with ultragrittygrimdark stuff and unfettered cynicism, this is not subversive or new; this is part of the new status quo.
- STOP SAYING THE WORD “HOPE” IT’S LOSING ALL MEANING DEAR SWEET BABY JEBUS
Mmmkay back to some Skittles-pros, because those cons were rough and now it’s good candy time again:
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- Finn exists in this movie. And I luff him. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh <3 <3 <3
- LIGHTSABER FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS ermergerd the lightsaber fiiiiiiiiiiiights
- Super fun aerial battles, woot woot
- Kylo’s character development is sooo interesting. I enjoy how on one hand he’s a petty entitled manbaby, but on the other hand, that unbridled rage makes him super unstable and kind of terrifying??? Like even to the point of just slaughtering the fuck out of his Master? Like holy shit dude, you need some therapy like nobody’s business. I waffled on whether I trusted Kylo--which makes sense, given that Kylo himself doesn’t seem entirely certain of his affiliations, except that he’s ultimately looking out for No. 1. The movie did a great job of making me very curious to see where they’ll take Kylo next!
- Rose is adorable and I really loved watching her geek out at the beginning of the movie. And her sister’s death, and her response to it, was just heartbreaking.
And now back to the cons, aka toothbrushes and pennies:
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- The casino planet was kind of cool to look at, but ultimately a waste of time. Like a huge waste of time. Cut the casino and Del Toro’s character out of the movie and barely anything is affected. 
- The whole “It’s salt” bit. Why does it matter. Why did this need to be pointed out. Was Disney afraid people would think the red stuff was blood...? Also why did the guy feel compelled to put dirt/salt in his mouth. People’s shoes have been there. Dat’s nasty. 
- The movie did Phasma dirty. Both movies did. Again, you could have taken Phasma out of both films and it wouldn’t really have made much of a difference. Phasma is like the Boba Fett of this trilogy, except even less impactful, somehow??? Which is just a shame because she’s so fucking cool! Not to mention the only real female villain in the Star Wars filmverse! as;dlkfja;oseirja;weoraie;jr
Some more treats, perhaps?
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- Yoda’s scene really got me. At first I was a little iffy, but as it went on, I liked it more and more. And his message about learning from failure was just particularly poignant. And I’m so glad they used puppet-Yoda. I don’t care if you can tell it’s a puppet. It still looks a hundred times better than full-CG-Yoda. :P
- As always, the music is wonderful--but I feel like that goes without saying! It’s John Williams, of course it’s wonderful!
- Also as always, the production design is just so frikkin’ good. The costumes, the sets, the ships, and a much better blend of animatronics/models + CG than we’ve seen just about anywhere else in recent years. Everyone on the creative team did a fabulous job of bringing new ideas to the table while also making it still feel like this is all set in the same galaxy that we first saw and fell in love with in the original trilogy. Also thank you to the costume designer for not giving Leia Dracula-butt-shaped hair in this movie. <3
Another stick or two:
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- Why the hint of romance between Finn and Rose...? Why the kiss...? They’ve known each other for literally less than a day, why are they talking about love and kissing on the mouth????
- Is it just me or did Chewie kind of get sidelined...? Like completely...? And why is it necessary to suspend Leia in a coma for a goodly chunk of the movie? This movie suffers from multiple instances of “characters can’t or won’t reveal their plans or thoughts to others, mostly for highly contrived reasons if reasons are even given at all, so a bunch of dumbfuck misunderstandings ensue that could and should have easily been resolved, all because we took the easy/lazy way out,” and, bleh. Lazy writing.
- Too many new characters dividing our attention and investment. Del Toro’s character should have been removed and Rose should have been our code-breaker; Holdo’s character traits and actions should have been split up between Leia and Poe. (Not that I want to see Poe die, but in a film with such strong themes of failure, loss, and learning, it would have been more impactful and made more sense for Poe to learn from his earlier recklessness and sacrifice himself rather than endanger others, as opposed to a one-off character we didn’t have any time or inclination to emotionally invest in.) A movie is like a pie; the more characters who take a slice, the smaller each slice is, and characters like Leia, Finn, Rose, and Chewie all deserved bigger pieces than they got, dammit.
- Seriously why the fuck didn’t Holdo just tell Poe what she was planning???? The mutiny side plot was interesting, I guess, but mostly it just seemed like her character--for all that she was actually highly intelligent--was suddenly too stupid to realize that you can’t effectively execute a plan if your officers don’t know what that fucking plan is.
- Friend-spouse said this film gave very little payoff for anything set up in the first; work-spouse said this film’s dialogue was written like that of a comic book; spouse-spouse said this film reminded him of Return of the Jedi, in that it has some of his very favorite moments in the series, and some of his very least favorite. I am tempted to agree with all of the spouses.
- Overall this movie almost feels like a filler episode in a TV series. A few things happen to push the story forward--Luke, Kylo, and Poe’s character development, for example--but so much stuff just sort of seemed to happen for the sake of happening, and could have been trimmed, if not excised completely, to make for a stronger movie.
And to end the post on a positive note:
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- Luke’s moments of punking his nephew/generally being a sassy bitch = amazeballs
-  DAT JUMP TO HYPERSPACE RIGHT THRU THE ENEMY SHIP THOUGH as;dlkfjasofijASLEIRJWOEIRJEORIlskdjfaoierjw;aeorijLASJIEFORIWEJ ER MER GERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD
- Stupid cute adorable Porgs, arrrrrgh, we hates them, precious, yes we do
And that’s it! I definitely want to watch it again, will for sure own it, certainly enjoyed it more than Rogue One. But yeah, not gonna lie: I’m actually looking forward to JJ Abrams’ return for Ep IX.
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tanbrian · 7 years ago
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The Last Jedi: BTan Review (Spoilers)
Here it is: I decided to write everything out because I obviously have too many feelings to process lol #allthefeels. A movie that has already proven to be a fairly polarizing 2nd (or 9th, if we're really counting) entry into the Star Wars metaverse deserves some cathartic play-by-play analysis. After all, that's more than half the fun (and point) of being a SW fan, is it not? Obvious disclaimer for SPOILERS, and I only saw the movie once - Thursday premiere night. Without further ado... here I go. *deep Lamaze breaths.
Comparison: Empire.
Let's be honest: with an ominous title and precedent-breaking RED Star Wars logo, it was inevitable that this second entry in this trilogy would illicit endless comparison to it's predecessor - namely, Empire, the 2nd SW movie ever in the OG trilogy, which has a darker tone and is widely regarded as the "Best" SW movie ever by fans - arguably, I might add. (IMO, A New Hope is the best SW movie of all time. BUT I DIGRESS) Considering how much TFA was designed after A New Hope, for better or for worse, it would be no surprise that The Last Jedi would mirror, borrow, or dare I say steal from Empire: major elements, settings, plot lines, et al. Fans and I alike were simultaneously loathed and relieved to find that this was both true and... not true, in this case.
Let's break it down via Empire lines:
Hoth: Empire/Rebel stand-off with low-rising ships and AT-AT fighters in a cold-climate planet with snow and winter-y creatures? Check. (this time at the end, not the beginning! what a twist.)
Yoda/Luke on Dabogah: Mentor/mentee jedi "training" period that transports a main character away from central Rebel action for the majority of the movie? Check.
"I am your father": Said main character is only to return for a climatic confrontation on an Empire ship with the main villain and discover parentage? Check.
Rebel characters engage in a cat-&-mouse run from a Empire ship that tracks them (A la Boba Fett & the Worm monster in the Asteroid fields)? Check.
Reunion-Hopeful end scene: With some medical care, hand holding, smiling, and small sliver of hope left just by still being together despite all the odds? Check.
Puppet-Yoda. period.
Thankfully, nobody's hand was severed or body was carbon-frozen. (Let's not get all Starkiller Base on us again.) Elements were certainly borrowed, but I don't think it was a hammer over the head in the same way that TFA was to A New Hope. A lot of the reviews are citing how "different" and "surprising" the plot twists and storyline went, and I will give Rian Johnson credit there. This was certainly not a carbon copy of Empire because, while borrowing fairly obvious major elements - Yoda/Luke and Luke/Rey being the most - it does its own thing with them....that doesn't always work out for the best, however.
1. Dagobah vs the Island (Ach-To, or whatever.)I think a lot of us expected (and were ready for) some head-on Yoda training of Rey. Give us a training montage. Knock her to her feet, do handstands, and make her lift that X-fighter from under the ocean (Did anyone catch that down there!?). OK - we don't need the whole she-bang, but give us something. I get that Luke is in no way the same master or teacher as Yoda, and he was going through this whole crotchety old-man complex and didn't actually want to train her. But when he and the movie actually got around to it... what even happened, really? We were treated to, frankly, weird and beautiful but unexplained cinematographic sequences (life! death! balance? and a dark seaweed-y dark tunnel?... ultimately leading to fun with mirrors? so many Reys, so few parents). My issue with them is this whole "training" period - which is a significant if not major crux of the whole movie - is that she's not really trained at all. Luke is basically like, "You're scary, Rey. ...OK, I'll watch you swing around my light saber." Like, what? I feel like the trailer gave the same level of impact of Rey's whole training on that damned island. She goes there, she gets trained eventually, and then she's a stronger Jedi - excuse me, er, "Force User." The movie really dragged its feet with this, and not in a satisfying way to me.
In Empire, you were on Dagobah forever but were enraptured by Luke's fear, frustration, and mystery over the force and his training (not to mention the charm of puppet-Yoda, bless him). Here, I couldn't wait to get off the island. I feel like I was stuck on LOST. Nothing was happening, the main mystery was "What Did Luke REALLY DO to Ben?", Rey talked to Kylo Ren a lot, Rey and Luke stalked each other... and - perhaps most insulting of all - our entertainment/comedic relief was pulled out of admittedly cute but pretty ridiculous creatures. More on all the creatures below, but for now: I'm anti-porg (hated all the random noise placements), and pro-caretakers - cute and funny. BUT - do you see what I mean? How was this adding to anything? We were charmed and entertained by Yoda and Luke all on their own as characters - their dynamic, struggles, values taught, etc. Here, it was like... welcome to the Island! We're, here... on the island. There are cute things and some mysteries. Train yourself Rey and leave as you like. See what I mean? Similar to Empire, but... not really, or at all, a better or improved version just by being different from it.
The saving graces are Daisy and Mark Hamill, who deliver strong and captivating performances as expected. Sadly, it's the writing and script here that fail them. Point is: this is a major/the plot point of this movie, Rey's training and answers as a Force User. Sure- what's happening with the Resistance is important, but the mythology and magic of this SW story is getting built with Rey. While necessary to bring her to the island with Luke, I just think our time there was a bit wasted. Too much "lemme follow Luke" ... "lemme follow Rey"... "oh look, another Porg!" *holds head in hands.
2. Rebels vs The ResistanceMeanwhile - because this movie, as SW movies are apt to do, requires a lot of Meanwhiles - the Resistance is stuck. They're out of fuel, tracked by the Empire after a mission, and getting clipped down. ...totally sounds familiar, right? In Empire, they run and hide - but get caught. They had the benefit of a budding romance with Han & Leia, and chemistry between them all - Chewie included. Here: they try to run, but are stuck. My issue is what they do to make it different this time, instead of Astroid Fields and a Cloud City: I guess they went with "A Codebreaker" and "Political Mutiny."
I have to admit: it must be really challenging to figure out to do with the Rebel/Resistance story arc. I'm sure when they sat down to write this script, they thought "OK: while Rey is off being important, what can we give the Resistance to do and make it fun, compelling, and just as consequential?" -Sadly, I think they really struggled here. It becomes the major middle of the movie, which just drags. Here was their solution: Introduce 3 new characters; go on adventures; solve the problem, and combine the plotlines. go.
First, as I'll discuss below with the Crowded Cast, the new characters (with the exception of Kelly Marie Tran) don't really amount to any new, exciting chemistry. It's less of a family, and more of a clusterf*ck to figure out what to do next... and then some.
Second: The Go on Adventures part was, simply put, random. Finn and Rose's romp to the casino land was a great plug/opportunity for a Mos Eisley Cantina - feel, not to mention pretty incredible wardrobe and set design. I felt mesmerized watching that first long shot of the casino: over the top, significant attention to detail, and fabulous. I do like the backstory we get on the planet's riches from sales to the Empire. Still, those are the highlights, but its all... random. and very quick. I don't want something to just "be a highlight" - it should have some purpose and add to the story. Otherwise, we're in prequel territory (Naboo is beautiful! ...so what?) The rest: "Find the Codebreaker" mission, randomly given by Maz - just seemed silly, and they didn't even manage to make contact with mustached Justin Thoreaux - settling for Benicio Del Toro in jail. Again, all random, and all just kinda like... ok, *shrug*, I'll just go with this? I know that's the spirit of SW - being a ragtag crew that just "figures it out" as you go. Here, however, they give a lot of twists and turns that your head is in a tailspin. They're in the casino, then in jail, but now they're riding creatures, but they got caught, but DJ saved them, but then he sold them out...? You're left feeling like, Wow. what was the point of that at all.
Meanwhile... Mutiny is afoot! Admiral Holdo vs Poe for control. Like I'm saying, it's all just like... so what? They're stuck in space and they need a solution, so Poe waits on one while Holdo pursues another one. It really feels like a placeholder, one that I think they just didn't need to develop all that much- yet, develop they did. They threw in so many twists into this plotline that felt unnecessary: we're abandoning ship?! oh - there's a planet down there? wait - leia's awake? no, wait - they're shooting us all down?... it felt like a waste of time. Sure, show them in struggle against the Empire, but let's move on. (Here, I'd like to note this movie is 2 hours and 30 minutes. that's LOTR territory, yall - not in the good way. Like, yikes.)
To summarize the Empire talk, I think they borrowed many checkpoint facts but didn't change them in truly effective ways. Let's be honest: the Empire framework is one we were all thinking about going into this. Below are more reasons why I think this movie's approach was successful... or not.
Crowded Cast.
Any true fan will tell you why the OG trilogy is the best: chemistry. Carrie, Mark, and Harrison had on-screen spark that continues to last 40 years later. All they had was droids and a walking carpet in Chewbacca as successful, impactful sidekicks (...forgetting the Ewoks, mind you.) We didn't need more. Even when Lando shows up, it's not a big deal - because it feels natural.
Characters aren't just being thrown in and added just for the sake of more characters. (If they are, it's for some plot point or twist that really pushes things along. Lando case in point: Empire needed a double-agent to get Han carbon-frozen & bring Luke out of Dagobah to encounter Vader, get hand cut off, hang from a Cloud City antenna, etc.)
I really thought in TFA, we were building to just that kind of "family" power. In our trio this time around, I think it was a solid effort at re-emulating what once was - The jokes and "banter" in TFA was believable, and you liked them as a crew. A family.
Unfortunately, this is less like a family of a cast than ever before; It's more meta, like: Here's this conflict in space that obviously involves hundreds of characters. Let's give each of them a little spotlight. There really is just too, too much going on character-wise. I'm just going to go at this bullet style with all the ancillary characters, because I have all of the complaints.
General Hux: admirable attempt to emulate Tarkin, but given way too much screen-time as if he actually matters. I think he's funny in the "evil" role - but that encapsulates my problem with it entirely. you should not be funny, or "evil" with g-d quotes around it. (Also, he's Bill Weasley. Like, just train your dragons.)
Snoke: NO. Why? Where's his story? Who is he? WHAT is he? He's just an <insert here> CGI bad guy from nowhere? What - were those scars that looked just like Anakin's head scars just to F*** with SW fan theories?!  There are plenty of bad guys in the SW universe that have Force powers and came out of nowhere. Like, who is Count Dooku, even. But I'm even fine with Dooku. This is like decades after the Emperor has fallen, and now "Snoke" rules the world... we def need a little more than just a gold f***ing kimono.
Captain Phasma: Fail. What an absolute waste. She could've been a cool, deep, fun character. Give her way more screentime over Hux. Instead, we get two lousy fights and a shot of Brienne's eye... like, *applause for your death?
Emo Kylo Ren. Sorry, reviewers: this is NOT a spectacular show of acting. This is bratty, brooding boy turned young man all wrong. I get it, I know -- this shows how darkness is complex and conflicting and not one side of the coin, I get that. Despite that, he still comes off as an impish child. Like, King Joffrey status. (Does that change anyone's mind?!) I don't care that he has great hair and "broods" well. Snoke's dialogue with him is the only thing I like about the two of them: "Take that stupid mask off your face." "You're nothing but a child." Very, true. That's the character. I shouldn't be able to make fun of the darkest evil and now supreme leader in that way. (...then again... Trump.)
Overall, I have been incredibly disappointed with the dark side in this new trilogy. Not menacing, threatening, or even "dark" at all. Throwaway characters. The fact that it can basically be made a joke - Emo Kylo Ren on SNL; Hux's ridiculous flailing and fails - is telling. Now, the light side:
Admiral Holdo: more like Who, doe? Laura Dern is an incredible actor, and she was very underutilized here. Very few lines of dialogue to sink her teeth into, and the whole Mutiny situation all passed by in what felt like an inconsequential flash. I feel like her inclusion was not necessary at all. It felt very Battlestar Galactica-y: commander of a rival ship comes, creates political conflict. She's also completely out of place with that hair and wardrobe... I get you commanded another ship, but aint nobody else on the Resistance looking like that. She looked more suited to the casino.
DJ. again, who? Benicio Del Toro, another fantastic actor, underutilized in a way that demonstrates he prob shouldn't have been used at all. His stuttering was pretty insulting and not charming like I guess they thought it would be. I'm guessing he has some double-agent turn to play in episode 9 (I guess as the Lando addition), but he certainly didn't add any value to this cast or story whatsoever.
Maz Katana: Well, that was funny, but random. Another wasted resource in Lupita Nyongo.
Rose. saving grace of the movie! Anyone knows I'm the first to shout about inclusive representation in entertainment; giving an Asian-American nerd such a highlighted role was fantastic. and not just b/c shes an Asian-American Nerd; just because she was fantastic in it. She's also 28, so she's just like me. That's empowering and awesome to see. Totally emulated the Rey, Finn, Poe trio dynamic-chemistry we got in TFA. Sadly, she's the only one we really got it from, other than:
Finn and Poe. sorry, they go in together because they really didn't give me much this time around. A lot of snappy dialogue and jokes that mostly landed. I'm disappointed, because I was ready to see that TFA chemistry continue and build. It mostly just remained stagnant, which isn't development to me. Also, I guess they're supposed to be main characters, but why didn't it feel that way? In TFA, they had an excuse - this was all just starting, and they had star power in Harrison, Daisy and Adam Driver to share screen time with. Now, I really feel like I needed them to step up as movers in this story - the same way Han was. Sadly, script and writing spread their power potential across far too many others.
Basically: it's crowded. It's like double the cast with half the punch. It's part of why I criticized Rogue One: ensemble cast that seems thrown together, just for the sake of being together. I think Laura Dern and Benicio Del Toro, hands down, just should not have been added. I'm hoping they can revitalize the familial feel we got in TFA in episode IX; I think we will, now that we got that reunion scene and JJ will be back.
Separately, the OGs:
Leia. the movie did an incredible job bidding her adieu. Luke's reunion with her sends chills down my spine. "No one's ever really gone." She's reportedly not in IX at all, so I'm sure they'll have her pass peacefully.
Luke. By contrast, I think his death was anti-climatic.
Puppet-Yoda: was skeptical on his re-appearance, but leave it to Frank Oz to put you back at total Yoda-zen ease. His lines on failure particularly hit home for me, and it def maintains the heart of SW here: the empathy and hope, in the face of loss and despair, really is what matters.
Is this still Star Wars?
One of the more shocking allegations by angry twitterverse is that this movie "RUINED" SW, and that this "isn't a SW movie at all." Especially saying this is worse than Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones! Can it be? I ultimately have to disagree. There are light sabers, the Force, Luke and Leia, spaceship battles, and droids. Also, it splits characters/storylines up in stupid ways on "adventures" that all eventually pull together and make sense (we guess). it's DEF still SW.
I do see their point, however. SW is a space battle/family drama, but you can't help but feel it's pull into different territories on this one. For one, I mentioned the Crowded Cast issue. My most immediate comparison on this one is Battlestar Galactica: stellar ensemble cast & chemistry, with very similar cat-&-mouse chases from the bad guys in space. Sadly, I just don't think SW is built for this kind of meta-character building. That's my main critique for this feeling less "SW".
Second: The chemistry. The humor, comedic relief, and jokes. I mean, where are we going with these? I'm mostly okay with a lot of the "easier" funny moments, because there are a lot of those in the OG trilogy; all it took was one Chewie growl to get us going. I'm glad they didn't do away with them completely - this is still mass entertainment after all. However, I do think they simply went overboard on this one. Ex: The milked BB-8's abilities way too far; is he really capable of taking out multiple humans? It felt a little like Guardians of the Galaxy but with a lot less natural comedic punch. Again, I credit that to chemistry and the crowded cast: there wasn't a lot of opportunity to build much on what was created in TFA. We got it out of Rose, Poe and Finn in limited doses; not much else. Otherwise, we were given a lot of Porgs. Please, let Jar Jar and Ewoks be a lesson of late.
The Last Jedi is totally a SW movie; however, it does admittedly feel different. I would say it feels stretched. Strained. A little frenetic & confused. It does all find itself by the end, but rather than all that being "Ah, The Plan All Along," it feels more like... "Oh, thank god they got there."
Action Sequences
One way it is totally SW, however, and I'm glad they did this justice: epic light saber battles. This struck a golden, perfect balance between the aerobatic, choreographed prequel fights to the more raw, emboldened OG trilogy fights that focus on face and grit. The climax fight is one to behold and is going down in the pantheon as one of the best, likely a top 5. Snoke's chamber and that red backlight is fantastic - ominous, bloody. A little shocked by how good those guards were; where the hell did they get trained? I'm sure we'll get more Kylo vs Rey in episode IX. Rey, thank god, has stepped up her game - treating it like an actual sword instead of a heavy hammer to drag. (But do you see what I mean about there being too much going on this entire movie? I totally forgot that Kylo Ren even had a crossguard lightsaber. like, completely.)
The space sequences are, as predicted, breathtaking and exciting. Wouldn't expect less. In the middle "we're out of fuel!" part of the movie, it does just feel like being stuck on a chess set piece; that's claustrophobic, but not really in the captivating way here. Not like Gravity. More like... I got tired of playing chess and left the board overnight & forgot it was there for a week. and i dont care.
Cringe-worthy.
There were truly a lot, like a lot, of cringes here. These are undeniable, in fact, and simply cannot be done away with. The movie lives with them forever. *sucks teeth*
Floating Leia. NOOOOO. (please send me every meme ever). This is obviously a very polarizing decision. Personally, I think they should've cut that entire segment and left it on the cutting room floor. Kylo Ren doesn't need to get close to shooting her; she doesn't need to be asleep; hell, there didn't need to be a Laura Dern or any Mutiny, imo. She could've hit her head in an explosion and been in a brief coma, if ANYTHING. Idk. It was a lot. Esp considering Carrie has passed, it felt... super, really, uncomfortably weird. Therefore, I will rewind that scene x100 times. (It's up there with "Anakin, you're breaking my heart! You're going down a path in which I cannot follow!" also, I cannot believe they killed Admiral Ackbar with such little grace as that. Offended.)
Blue Milk. What might be a charming easter egg to some was really just a funny-disturbing, horrifically-cringey moment. Luke Skywalker on his knees, sucking down milk from the Tittie-Testicles of a bantha creature in its crotch, spilling it onto his scraggly beard. humiliating. this is not the master jedi I'm looking for. I want to unsee that immediately.
Mirror, mirror. maybe some people thought it was cool. maybe its deep, insightful, or artistic in some way idc to know about. I just dont care. It was giving me Mirror of Erised vibes from Harry Potter, which felt stupid and went totally unexplained. *snap, snap!
Emo-Bitch Moaning: on behalf of Hux and Emo Kylo himself. So many lines, I can't even dredge up from memory just yet, they're that painful. Greatest hit: Kylo bitching "YOU SHOULD BE!" or something equally bitch-worthy to ghost-Luke during their fight. groan.
Benicio Del Toro's stuttering: painful and offensive. of no value.
Rose's "kiss" of Finn. Ouch.
-Creatures
There were, simply, a lot of creatures this time around. Here's some reactions to the greatest hits:
Porgs: I'm decidedly anti-Porg. I wish Chewie ate that roasted one in front of their crying faces. I also can't believe they started burrowing into the Falcon; the disrespect! Please swat them off the drawing board for episode IX, JJ. Unlike Ewoks and even Jar Jar, they added absolutely nothing to the story. Keep it purposeful, not random, please.
Caretakers: cute and hilarious. random.
Canto Bight riding creatures: They look like Voldemort. Actually a cross-breed of Dobby/house elves and Voldemort. Disturbing. (also, why all this Harry Potter crossover!?) random.
Ice Foxes: Cute, pretty, again very random and barely added anything of value.
One can't help but see the commercial angle in throwing the kitchen sink in with these creatures: they're automatic money machines to cash in on Christmas plush toys, not to mention drawings, books/resources to develop in on their stories/backgrounds, etc. Creatures are also a hallmark of SW. Again, though, you can't help but feel like it was a bit overdone here. I hardly remember any creatures from TFA, other than the octopus. (See? That was a fun adventure - and we met Han that way.)
Cliffhangers/Theories
It just seems hard to believe, however, that Rey and Kylo aren't TWINS to Han and Leia. How could they be otherwise connected so strongly and randomly? Just one fight in the snowy woods, and they've got psycho-powers to each other? I guess it could just be a coincidence of their Force powers. High midichlorian count, holla.
I'm still banking on the Kenobi theory myself: why else bring Ewan and Alec Guiness's voices from the grave for her TFA dream? Help us Rey Kenobi - you really are our only hope.
Conclusion
If you read this far, you need to get a life - much like myself. Ultimately, my word on The Last Jedi is: B. OK. Idk! I think there was a lot riding on this movie: It was going to determine how a huge leg of this new trilogy was going to continue and be as an identity, really. TFA did a beautiful job building the legwork, and Last Jedi was both a surprise and let down in many ways. You can't snuff the highlights that made it shine: Canto Bight's casino, the light saber duels, Daisy and Mark, and Kelly Marie Tran. It just needed a lot of editing, which it clearly didn't get enough of at it's running time. The Cringes shoot down at this film significantly.
Most importantly to me: Part of what makes SW fantastic isn't exploding ships and sword fights; plenty of movies have just that. What makes us fans is the draw of their mythology, continuing/evolving story, and feeling like we're on-board with the "Family" of characters we love the whole way through. It's why I love many installments of Final Fantasy, LOST, Battlestar Galactica, and GOT: it's character-based, character development that gets breathtaking. I think Last Jedi may have lost the heart of that, by nature of feeling random, sloppy, and going too long without going much of anywhere. I'm certainly glad to be off the island and out of that awful Chess-like impasse between their spaceships. Moments with Yoda and Luke separately were strong and kept the heart of SW. Still, there were just a lot of choices... too many polarizing choices. the kind you can't come back from, and that really get the movie off the swing of things.
I will obviously be re-watching and contemplating for weeks to come. Ah, to be a SW fan! Feels good. (and a little sad, but good all the same).
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megilins · 5 years ago
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i fully expected Poe to just grab him by the coat and DRAGGGGG him to the falcon against his will, just like he saved finn in TFA
#HuxDeservedBetterToo
and then imagine ben ALIVE AND HEALTHY returning with rey from exegol,  when he sees hux of all people with the resistance?? drinking tea under an x-wing’s wing as if it’s just another casual thursday??? and they both stare at one another like
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I cannot decide whether Hux is just the worst secret keeper ever or he was just too proud of being a spy. 
(Also, Finn just murdered Poe with that “No, you did not”  😂
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tipsoctopus · 6 years ago
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Tactical Analysis: How Man City exploited Liverpool's weak link to win Premier League epic
Each week our friends at Total Football Analysis Magazine provide us with in-depth tactical analysis. Today, TFA Lead Analyst Lee Scott looks back at Thursday night’s big clash at the Etihad Stadium and explains exactly how Man City were able to beat Liverpool.
Despite being relatively early in the season this was billed as the biggest game domestically in months. Over the Christmas period, Liverpool had opened up a seven-point advantage over Manchester City at the top of the Premier League and a win in this match away to City would see Liverpool go ten points clear of the champions entering the second half of the season.
This was not the first time that these two sides have met this season, the earlier encounter at Anfield saw the two sides play out a tactical 0-0 draw, an encounter which lacked much of the attacking creativity that we have come to expect from these sides and their respective coaches.
This time though there was a definite sense that Manchester City could not afford to drop points from this match. Their coach, Pep Guardiola, is known for his obsessive tactical preparation for big games although in recent seasons he has found Liverpool under Jurgen Klopp difficult to break down.
There were many questions in terms of team shape and selection prior to this match, particularly around Liverpool. In recent weeks we have seen a shift in their tactical structure away from the more traditional 4-3-3 to a 4-2-3-1 with a double pivot in the midfield. With City likely to line up in their 4-3-3 shape as normal, however, it was interesting pre-match to note the speculation that Liverpool would do the same to match-up with them.
In the end, City came away with the positive result that they needed, how they achieved this deserves closer examination though.
Team News
The first thing of note was that Klopp decided to move away from the 4-2-3-1 that has been so successful for him over the last few weeks. He switched to the more commonly used 4-3-3 in order to match systems with Manchester City.
The main difference in this switch of system saw a change to the midfield configuration. In previous weeks Fabinho and Giorginio Wijnaldum had formed an extremely effective double pivot at the base of the midfield. This created the base for Liverpool’s attacking phase and shielded the defence effectively in the defensive phase. In this match, we saw the return of Jordan Henderson playing as the single pivot with James Milner and Giorginio Wijnaldum ahead of him. As the match progressed the issues with this midfield three became hugely apparent.
Who has the loudest fans in Europe? PSG certainly state their claim in the video below…
With Roberto Firmino moved back to his more common striking position we also saw Mohamed Salah shifted across to the right-hand side of the attack with Sadio Mane providing balance on the left.
The most striking piece of team news from Manchester City was the introduction of the immensely talented Vincent Kompany in the defensive line. There was some speculation before the match that this would see a back three from City but instead, Aymeric Laporte was deployed as a traditional left-back, from where he could man mark Salah.
In the midfield, the return of Fernandinho at the base of the midfield would make a significant impact on the match.
Controlling the centre
It is one of the oldest and most widely understood tactical concepts of football but controlling the centre of the field is essential when controlling a match. Overloads and underloads in key central areas can provide key pressure points on your opposition which can lead to breakthroughs in possession.
Despite neither side having a numerical advantage in the 3v3 in the centre of the field we still saw City create positional and qualitative advantages by using intelligent movement from their two more advanced central midfielders. They had clearly defined roles for the midfield players with Fernandinho providing the base and controlling the space while Bernardo Silva and David Silva dropped in and pushed out of pockets of space across the central areas. This approach created passing angles that allowed City to progress the ball through the centre relatively comfortably.
The Liverpool midfield struggled to cope with the vertical movement from the two City central midfielders for the entire game. Here Liverpool were relatively well set defensively but as the ball was circulated from Kompany to John Stones across the defensive line it was comfortably moved through Fernandinho at the base of the midfield to Bernardo Silva, who had dropped away from the marking Liverpool midfielder to receive in space.
The same could be seen from the above situation that occurred on the opposite side of the field. Again the phase that I chose to highlight started with Kompany in possession on the defensive line. This time Liverpool were better orientated to press the ball and the circulation across the defensive line was cut off. David Silva made a sharp move towards the ball to create separation from his marker. As soon as the ball was moved vertically to David Silva, he bounced the ball out to Sane wide on the left.
As David Silva made his move to drop off he immediately affected the marking Liverpool player – as that player moved to shadow the run he created a space in the defensive structure that could be exploited by City. In playing the ball immediately to the outside, City created isolation against the Liverpool right-back, Trent Alexander-Arnold. This, in turn, allowed Leroy Sane the flexibility to attack the inside or outside of the full-back.
Isolating and overloading the weak link
With Joe Gomez still out injured Klopp has turned to the Croatian international Dejan Lovren to partner the excellent Virgil van Dijk in the centre of the backline. Before Thursday, this change hadn’t been overly noticeable, until they came up against a world-class opponent in Manchester City.
City used clever positioning from their forward, Sergio Aguero, to pin Van Dijk in place while passing combinations and movement from their wide forwards and advanced central midfielders isolated and overloaded Lovren.
With the ball possessed here by Laporte on the left-hand side, we saw aLiverpool side that were relatively well set defensively. The orientation of the ball dictated the type of movements from City in the final third of the field. As Leroy Sane maked a vertical run on the outside of Lovren, we saw David Silva move to occupy that space. This movement isolatedLovren and allowed the ball to be played around the outside to meet the run of Sane.
Initially, in the move Aguero pinned Van Dijk in place but as the run and pass was made he made an angled burst to attack the blind side of Lovren in the penalty area.
We saw a similar movement pattern here although on this occasion the starting point of the ball was with Raheem Sterling on the right-hand side. City have the capacity to play quick and short passing combinations in this area to play through the lines, but they mixed this up with direct passing to switch the play to an area in which they had isolated an opposing player.
As the ball was switched in this area out to the left-hand side, Alexander-Arnold moved out to engage the ball, while the advanced central midfielder on that side, David Silva, moved vertically to attack the space outside of Lovren. Once again this run is  accessed by a vertical pass played around the corner. As the ball was played through to Silva, Aguero once again made the diagonal run from his position on Van Dijk to attack the blind side of Lovren in the penalty area.
With two relatively simple passes, City isolated and overloaded Dejan Lovren to create a goalscoring opportunity.
Conclusion
Over the course of the 90 minutes, there was little to choose from between these two sides. Liverpool were perhaps less potent in the attacking phase than they have been recently but they were forced to think and adapt so much when defending that playing quickly in transition became more difficult.
Manchester City were clearly prepared to execute certain mechanisms within their attacking phase and they did so superbly. The timing and use of overloading runs to isolate Dejan Lovren gave the Liverpool defensive structure issues throughout the match.
For the neutrals, this was a great game and a great result – the title race is very much still alive.
The FA Cup Third Round weekend is traditionally one of the best weekends in the English football calendar. Many Davids meet their Goliaths and totalfootballanalysis.com will be analysing many of this year’s Third Round fixtures.
Because the FA Cup is such an occasion we have decided to honour it by offering you 10% off ALL ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS to Total Football Analysis Magazine this weekend only.
Simply click on the poster (on the left) and head straight to the checkout and enter the code “FACUP” to get 10% off your annual subscription to the magazine that Premier League analysts and coaches all the way down to grassroots level are raving about.
If you want to understand what is really happening on the pitch then this is the magazine for you.
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cinamun · 23 days ago
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mancitynoise · 6 years ago
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Each week our friends at Total Football Analysis Magazine provide us with in-depth tactical analysis. Today, TFA Lead Analyst Lee Scott looks back at Thursday night’s big clash at the Etihad Stadium and explains exactly how Man City were able to beat Liverpool.
Despite being relatively early in the season this was billed as the biggest game domestically in months. Over the Christmas period, Liverpool had opened up a seven-point advantage over Manchester City at the top of the Premier League and a win in this match away to City would see Liverpool go ten points clear of the champions entering the second half of the season.
This was not the first time that these two sides have met this season, the earlier encounter at Anfield saw the two sides play out a tactical 0-0 draw, an encounter which lacked much of the attacking creativity that we have come to expect from these sides and their respective coaches.
This time though there was a definite sense that Manchester City could not afford to drop points from this match. Their coach, Pep Guardiola, is known for his obsessive tactical preparation for big games although in recent seasons he has found Liverpool under Jurgen Klopp difficult to break down.
There were many questions in terms of team shape and selection prior to this match, particularly around Liverpool. In recent weeks we have seen a shift in their tactical structure away from the more traditional 4-3-3 to a 4-2-3-1 with a double pivot in the midfield. With City likely to line up in their 4-3-3 shape as normal, however, it was interesting pre-match to note the speculation that Liverpool would do the same to match-up with them.
In the end, City came away with the positive result that they needed, how they achieved this deserves closer examination though.
Team News
The first thing of note was that Klopp decided to move away from the 4-2-3-1 that has been so successful for him over the last few weeks. He switched to the more commonly used 4-3-3 in order to match systems with Manchester City.
The main difference in this switch of system saw a change to the midfield configuration. In previous weeks Fabinho and Giorginio Wijnaldum had formed an extremely effective double pivot at the base of the midfield. This created the base for Liverpool’s attacking phase and shielded the defence effectively in the defensive phase. In this match, we saw the return of Jordan Henderson playing as the single pivot with James Milner and Giorginio Wijnaldum ahead of him. As the match progressed the issues with this midfield three became hugely apparent.
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With Roberto Firmino moved back to his more common striking position we also saw Mohamed Salah shifted across to the right-hand side of the attack with Sadio Mane providing balance on the left.
The most striking piece of team news from Manchester City was the introduction of the immensely talented Vincent Kompany in the defensive line. There was some speculation before the match that this would see a back three from City but instead, Aymeric Laporte was deployed as a traditional left-back, from where he could man mark Salah.
In the midfield, the return of Fernandinho at the base of the midfield would make a significant impact on the match.
Controlling the centre
It is one of the oldest and most widely understood tactical concepts of football but controlling the centre of the field is essential when controlling a match. Overloads and underloads in key central areas can provide key pressure points on your opposition which can lead to breakthroughs in possession.
Despite neither side having a numerical advantage in the 3v3 in the centre of the field we still saw City create positional and qualitative advantages by using intelligent movement from their two more advanced central midfielders. They had clearly defined roles for the midfield players with Fernandinho providing the base and controlling the space while Bernardo Silva and David Silva dropped in and pushed out of pockets of space across the central areas. This approach created passing angles that allowed City to progress the ball through the centre relatively comfortably.
The Liverpool midfield struggled to cope with the vertical movement from the two City central midfielders for the entire game. Here Liverpool were relatively well set defensively but as the ball was circulated from Kompany to John Stones across the defensive line it was comfortably moved through Fernandinho at the base of the midfield to Bernardo Silva, who had dropped away from the marking Liverpool midfielder to receive in space.
The same could be seen from the above situation that occurred on the opposite side of the field. Again the phase that I chose to highlight started with Kompany in possession on the defensive line. This time Liverpool were better orientated to press the ball and the circulation across the defensive line was cut off. David Silva made a sharp move towards the ball to create separation from his marker. As soon as the ball was moved vertically to David Silva, he bounced the ball out to Sane wide on the left.
As David Silva made his move to drop off he immediately affected the marking Liverpool player – as that player moved to shadow the run he created a space in the defensive structure that could be exploited by City. In playing the ball immediately to the outside, City created isolation against the Liverpool right-back, Trent Alexander-Arnold. This, in turn, allowed Leroy Sane the flexibility to attack the inside or outside of the full-back.
Isolating and overloading the weak link
With Joe Gomez still out injured Klopp has turned to the Croatian international Dejan Lovren to partner the excellent Virgil van Dijk in the centre of the backline. Before Thursday, this change hadn’t been overly noticeable, until they came up against a world-class opponent in Manchester City.
City used clever positioning from their forward, Sergio Aguero, to pin Van Dijk in place while passing combinations and movement from their wide forwards and advanced central midfielders isolated and overloaded Lovren.
With the ball possessed here by Laporte on the left-hand side, we saw aLiverpool side that were relatively well set defensively. The orientation of the ball dictated the type of movements from City in the final third of the field. As Leroy Sane maked a vertical run on the outside of Lovren, we saw David Silva move to occupy that space. This movement isolatedLovren and allowed the ball to be played around the outside to meet the run of Sane.
Initially, in the move Aguero pinned Van Dijk in place but as the run and pass was made he made an angled burst to attack the blind side of Lovren in the penalty area.
We saw a similar movement pattern here although on this occasion the starting point of the ball was with Raheem Sterling on the right-hand side. City have the capacity to play quick and short passing combinations in this area to play through the lines, but they mixed this up with direct passing to switch the play to an area in which they had isolated an opposing player.
As the ball was switched in this area out to the left-hand side, Alexander-Arnold moved out to engage the ball, while the advanced central midfielder on that side, David Silva, moved vertically to attack the space outside of Lovren. Once again this run is  accessed by a vertical pass played around the corner. As the ball was played through to Silva, Aguero once again made the diagonal run from his position on Van Dijk to attack the blind side of Lovren in the penalty area.
With two relatively simple passes, City isolated and overloaded Dejan Lovren to create a goalscoring opportunity.
Conclusion
Over the course of the 90 minutes, there was little to choose from between these two sides. Liverpool were perhaps less potent in the attacking phase than they have been recently but they were forced to think and adapt so much when defending that playing quickly in transition became more difficult.
Manchester City were clearly prepared to execute certain mechanisms within their attacking phase and they did so superbly. The timing and use of overloading runs to isolate Dejan Lovren gave the Liverpool defensive structure issues throughout the match.
For the neutrals, this was a great game and a great result – the title race is very much still alive.
The FA Cup Third Round weekend is traditionally one of the best weekends in the English football calendar. Many Davids meet their Goliaths and totalfootballanalysis.com will be analysing many of this year’s Third Round fixtures.
Because the FA Cup is such an occasion we have decided to honour it by offering you 10% off ALL ANNUAL SUBSCRIPTIONS to Total Football Analysis Magazine this weekend only.
Simply click on the poster (on the left) and head straight to the checkout and enter the code “FACUP” to get 10% off your annual subscription to the magazine that Premier League analysts and coaches all the way down to grassroots level are raving about.
If you want to understand what is really happening on the pitch then this is the magazine for you.
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cinamun · 1 month ago
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