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starter call specifically for my comic muses bc i feel insane

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@urbanoath && selina

"do you believe in fate?" selina's claws ran idky down his arm, leaving a scratch in the dark material that seemed to fix itself immediately. she peered up through light eyes. she wasn't a philosopher, so to speak. she wasn't a lot of things but wasn't moonlighting fun? becoming someone else for a short time was their specialty. she walked around him, the roof tiles wet and slippery beneath her feet. like a cat, she pressed her head against the back of his shoulder. "or is everything coincidence?"

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"i may have been... blacklisted from certain events courtesy of lex luthor. it wasn't even technically breaking and entering! the door was unlocked. after i unlocked it. with a key i stole. nothing broke." lois whipped a gaudy blonde wig out of her bag and pulled it on at an odd angle. she looked like dolly parton got run over by trixie mattel. she rifled around in there for longer, frowning deeply. "i suppose you can just-" she stood on her toes, intent on ruffling up his slicked-back hair. "just let a couple of curls loose. wear some aviators."

again, his eyebrows hike up when she slams her phone. " you're gonna break that thing. " warns clark to what he is sure will be deaf ears. sure enough, lois is up and running again. " well, yeah  —  " he begins, soon trampled over by her wild machinations. " what? wig? lois, we are press. we don't need wigs, we can just walk in there normally! " he'd also thrown away his wig promptly after being forced to wear it. he's never going blonde again.

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midge would shave the sideburns

OSCAR ISAAC "Frankenstein" | 2025, dir. Guillermo del Toro

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lois was scowling at the very same notification when clark materialised at her side. she inhaled sharply and slammed her phone back down again. she got to her feet, coffee in hand - and one for him too. "then we'll be in attendance. do you still have the wig i gave you? jack and gillian are making a comeback."

by no means irritated, clark only tilts his head and meets her gaze with a knowing smirk. " no, it's not. " an unfortunate time to look so damn interested, given that the poor old lady walks by them just then. taking a step back from her and clearing his throat in midst of embarrassment, he nods at the plans. " sounds good. meet you in ten. " quick shower would do him wonders. in a flash, clark disappears and sure enough is brand as new ten minutes later, joining her at a table at beans. " did you get this? " clark holds up his phone, showing her the screen. " lex just called for an emergency press conference. " the dread in his eyes said enough: never a good sign when lex luthor wanted the spotlight.

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hello friends ! i have returned <3

like this for a starter !

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some more rio in wandavision ft. a friends reference 🤲

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she may have stopped had he not actively pointed it out. "is this not helping?" she caught his eye, grinning like a maniac as she patted his chest again. an elderly woman walked past, glaring at their close proximity. "fine." she took a step back. "now i want a mocha. i'll meet you at beans."

" is the joke on them? " he was the one dripping mocha and, were it not for a certain biological advantage, freezing. clark pulls at the sticking shirt again, but lois comes in for the rescue ( somewhat ) with a napkin, allowing him to take off his glasses and wipe the coffee out of them. " i can run home quickly and change it — please stop caressing my chest in public. "

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lois' glare was too late to hit its mark. the culprit had already turned a corner. "that's, like, six dollars someone's wasted. jokes on them." in lieu of napkins, she awkwardly dabbed at his shirt with the somewhat dry part of his tie. the only effect was that she was rubbing clark's chest like she was soothing a baby. "okay. first step before we change the world - new shirt."

" nope, honey, not her. " clark corrects quickly, having paid witness to this particular swap of celebrities from lois before. easy mistake to make. just as well, he expects her to rise to the occasion, stepping aside on cue as she charges to take the lead. " if anyone can do it ... " he doesn't finish the sentence. she's not in comeback headspace yet. but she'd get there.

of course, the latte assault does hinder things. mostly for clark, who had quickly put himself between her and the cold beverage. now his white shirt is a distinct color of mocha, as ricky martin would put it. " a little bad, maybe. " smallville mumbles, his hands raised in hopes of having that coffee soaked fabric stick less to his skin. " do people really love ross matthews this much? " iced latte drips from the frames of his glasses. " you weren't wrong, he's not that funny. "

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#iconic

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"let me go!" the problem with jackie taylor, in the eyes of her teammates at least, was that she wasn't a fighter. she had never been a fighter. she just happened to be a very lucky girl. her entire life had been a series of accidents and coincidences that left her somewhat on top. if one could consider living alone in a suburb in her hometown with a cat that didn't even belong to her that she may have accidentally kidnapped happy.

back slammed against the wall, jackie struggled to take a breath. they had been in this very position dozens of time before. shauna's threats - a desperate attempt to hold on to some semblance of control over her. empty. she can see it in her eyes. deep brown - a pit one would gladly fall into to be devoured whole. she'd had dreams like that before. nightmares until shauna showed up. her saviour and her ruin. "okay." her voice cracked slightly under the pressure. a puppy dog rolling over and showing her belly.

yet she can't help but bare her teeth a little. "miss priss is the best you can do?"

it's not the first time this gets a hold of her, the boundless rage that rides her like a wave. each shove against jackie makes its flame grow stronger, each sound of her body smashing against the metal wall incites her. shauna wants to do it again and again, until she breaks. but jackie is no rag doll, jackie fights back. she has shauna stumbling back a step, though not nearly enough to keep her way. shauna, with darkened eyes, marches over to jackie again —  only to have sharp pain hit her shin and have her on one knee. " FUCK! YOU BITCH! "

it's that voice that keeps her coming back to reality, pulling her from the wilderness. shauna could've attacked again, but the familiar tones of jackie's voice remind her where she is. [ elevator. civilization. new jersey. real world. ] jackie being an idiot. " what fucking magnets?! " shauna doesn't have time to be mortified when the door opens and reveals that they haven't really moved. she is deep under the scrutiny of nat and tai when jackie makes her attempted escape.

still limping from one leg, shauna props herself up and skips out into the hallway. at her threat, shauna exchanges a look with tai, but it's misty behind her who gives her a signal that only she recognizes: get her. " like hell you are. " shauna charges for jackie again, this time just grabbing her by her little baby bird arm and dragging her back into the apartment. the other three follow behind them. once inside, shauna immediately shoves jackie against the wall and keeps her there firmly in an arm lock against her neck. " listen to me, miss priss. you are not gonna tell anyone a goddamn thing, do you hear me? you're here now, so we're in it together whether you like it or not. we made a promise. this is part of it. now shut the fuck up and help me because i'd have done the same fucking thing for you. " shauna gets closer still, words quicker. more and less threatening at once. " and if you kick me again i'm gonna pull your hair out. "

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she did it again. the tell. taissa hadn't told her a damn thing, but before jackie can find a way to be exceptionally smug about it, her shoulders are slamming back against the wall much farther than she had had them. she practically bounced off the wall in time for shauna to do some real damage, slamming her back into the metal wall. "what the fuck, shauna!" she shoved her back, but it didn't have nearly the same effect. she really ought to use that fucking crossfit membership. then they could have a redo and she'd stand a chance at winning. so instead of using brute force - she kicked shauna square in the shin.

"everyone knows you don't get service in elevators because of the magnets!" then the door slid open with a ding to reveal the rest of their group... sans misty who was smart enough to take the stairs. jackie shoved her way out of the elevator, past nat's mumbled i told you so. past her history. in one final grab at some semblance of control, she spun back around. "i'm going to tell the cops."

why the fuck was she smiling? now is not the time to be smiling. there's a corpse two floors ( or one, she isn't sure when they stopped, maybe they're still in the same fucking hallway ) above them, rotting away. what's more, shauna had owned her. she had no reason to smile. she wasn't winning. except ...

—  fuck, was she?

it takes shauna a second to recover, to pick up her stupid jaw off the floor. she's caught red-handed with a mouth agape and breath stuck in her throat. a fatal beat of defeat before she bounces back, rolling her shoulders back like nothing happened. " i haven't been keeping tabs on you. tai told me. " she'd told tai, actually. followed by a series of questions about how jackie was doing, what jackie was doing ... eventually, who jackie was doing. she didn't acquire many answers.

" what the fuck. " she mumbles it at first, eyes widening very gradually as they behold the unbelievable fucking sight of jackie's phone around her slender little fingers. " you had a phone?! " no thoughts, just wildness. shauna charges towards jackie, shoving her back by the shoulders —  which doesn't really help, given that her back is already against the wall. " you had a phone this entire time, you fucking idiot?! " another shove. her voice picks up. " WHY WOULDN'T YOU USE YOUR PHONE? "

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jackie's eyes remained fixated on shauna's back, her own pressed against the wall. she briefly imagined their fate — falling six floors to the basement. their tangled limbs found together; intertwined in a final moment of panic. a painting of smeared blood and — she took pause. how did she know about the crossfit? she smiled before she realised what she was doing. "you've been keeping tabs on me."

she had changed in many ways, but her tells were the same. the way her eyes narrowed and her shoulders sagged in an attempt to appear uncaring. it never worked on jackie. until the end, when it did. when her doubt continued to be thrown in her face again and again until shauna shipman became shauna sadecki and shed everything that jackie liked about her in the first place. taissa had told her not to bring her phone; but she hated listening to taissa. she always acted like she knew better.

she slid the phone out of her pocket and called tai.

she doesn't fall for the babe in the woods act, that's a tale as old as time. this is just what jackie does, she's a hurricane and insists on ignoring the wreckage she leaves in her wake. it wasn't me. it's not my fault! — you were my best friend. he's my boyfriend ... shauna blinks her trance away, shouldering past jackie to take a look at the panel of buttons again.

" i still don't know why she called you. " shauna grumbles as her eyes search in the vain hope of finding something other than numbers to some floors. it's hard to ignore jackie with nowhere else to go, though, and she is forced to turn back around and stare at the woman with a tilted head and a challenge sparking in her eyes. " my loose panties? " she almost laughs again. " look, i'm not exactly thrilled that you're here either, okay?! tai was out of line in calling you, she shouldn't have. this isn't your problem. " it was hers. what was shauna's could not be jackie's too. not anymore. " once we're out of this freaking box, you can go back to your happy little life, okay? with your ... crossfit or whatever the fuck trend you're following these days. "

going up to the door, shauna makes an executive decision: aggression. she begins slamming it, voice climbing up in hopes to be heard upstairs. " HELP!!! MISTY, WE'RE STUCK HERE! TAISSA! NATALIE! GET US OUT OF HERE! "

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her laugh cut worse than a knife. right through her chest all the way down to her naval. it always had. shauna had always had a complete lack of self awareness when it came to her cruelty. her eyes widened then too; a wounded deer staring at her captor until her gaze shifts to the floor. her nails dug into the arms of her jacket, wishing she were meeting skin instead. "i mean... yeah." it seemed stupid only now, in the face of shauna's infamous spite.

"tai told me not to bring my phone." which should have been her first sign of trouble. "you know what? you don't get to act like this right now. if it wasn't for you and your... loose panties we wouldn't be in this situation! i was doing a favour for a friend, not you."

" i've already tried that. do you think this is one of those jackie-only buttons that only work on your bony fingers? " it's all shauna can do to not shove her aside, but somewhere in the confines of this elevator she fines her calm and takes a breath instead. not very deep, with her rage so rampant, but it keeps her from putting her hands around jackie's neck all the same. " you're not suing anybody, dipshit. did you forget why we're here?! " in fairness, shauna almost had. if the intercom worked, someone could've placed them there too. fuck, they need to get misty. she begins feeling her pockets in search of her phone, coming up empty.

" do you have a ph  — " her plan cuts through. shauna stares in silence for a moment, blinking. then she erupts in laughter. unabashed, obnoxious laughter all while staring at jackie's buggy eyes. " did you hit your head? you're not gonna be my flyer. what are you gonna do? climb your way up the shaft like spider-man? "

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"oh." lois lane, so rarely speechless, pressed her lips together and stared at the open browser until it was gone. "isn't she being cancelled for-" nope. that was carrie underwood. but never one to let a mistake keep her down for long, she swooped to her feet and pulled on her blazer. "okay. then i'm going to go out in the field and redeem myself!" she announced. "c'mon, smallville." she shoved his arm. "story time. redemption time. not that i need it that much. it's one comment, how bad can it get?"

moments later, someone on the street had thrown their iced latte at her.

clark watches her with keen interest, quite different than the brand it usually takes. this wasn't enamored clark kent, but a clark kent with a curious, damn near academic interest in how the mind of lois lane worked. " what?! " his smile grows from ear to ear, the first signs of laughter spreading across his features. in comes enamored clark kent again, making his long-awaited return! " lois, that's sarah paulson. " he rises from his seat, going over to her desk and promptly taking over the computer to close the browser. " no more screens for you today. you need a break before you attack someone like kelly clarkson. " clark, in particular, loves kelly clarkson and believes everyone else does too. she couldn't go back from an attack on kelly clarkson.

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arms crossed tightly over her chest, her lips turned up into a smirk at shauna's failed attempt to call for help. "move." she shouldered past and pressed the button herself. harder than shauna had. it fell through to the other side. her face paled. peering down onto the hole, she poked her finger - "it's not even wired to anything! i'm going to sue the shit out of this landlord." and in the process, indict them at the scene of the crime. fantastic plan. she kept prodding the empty hole in the hopes she would come across something helpful.

the only thing she was deeply certain about was that she wasn't going to die in an elevator with shauna shipman. she had survived 19 months in the wilderness for this? a deep breath. a moment passed. she looked up. "okay. i'm your flyer. remember when we did cheerleading for two weeks? lift me." she pointed to the grate on the ceiling. "i'll go find help."

there it is again, a vital part of the jackie taylor show: her endless monologues. a voice that sounds like nails on a chalkboard, that reaches shauna's ears at the perfect frequency to make her blood boil. a voice she hears at night, still. in her nightmares, in her dreams ... " shut up! just shut up! god, you're so fucking stupid. " luckily, this isn't high school anymore and she was free from that bizarre spell jackie used to have her under. no longer her foot soldier in school hallways, no longer her protector in thankless woods.

a shame for her, given her ridiculous display of strength. shauna watches jackie try and work the elevator doors. she smiles when jackie fails —  it always had brought her pleasure to see it. the smile disappears soon as jackie turns, unwilling to caught. ( what if she were to see the endearment that lied just beneath the mocking exterior? ) " the door wouldn't open for you? oh no. " shauna pouts, holding it for the necessary amount of time it takes to get under jackie's skin before she beelines for the intercom button. " if only there was a magical button to allow us to speak to the outside world!  " she presses it. no line. presses it again, harder. and a third time. nada. of course that fucking thing doesn't work.

she bites the inside of her cheek, back turned and refusing to move even an inch if it meant having to face jackie after falling flat on her face. " fuck. "

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she could feel his eyes on her, so she kept hers on her screen. on the slew of pop culture and world news that compromised her little online world. her gaze finally moved to his when he drops a name she vaguely recognised. "no. what has she got to do with this? she's the one with the old wife, right? the lesbian?"

amusement runs freely now, curving his lips as his head tilts while taking in that peculiar yet oh so familiar sight of a lois lane in her element: resorting to playground tactics to get her way. " you got me there. " clark pokes, basking in the high entertainment factor of this occasion. until ... " ross matthews doesn't do fracking. i think. " a beat. could this be the story she broke, or ... ? slapped by disbelief, clark's eyes widen and he leans over his desk in her direction. " lois, are you thinking of rupaul? " now that could be an added reason for the whole internet to have turned against her.