#Szeth is a cat

[stormscience]

Urithiru: World's Most Expensive Cat Tree

@blindradiant helped me realize something. If Szeth is a cat (which, let's be real, he has The Most cat energy ever), and he was the first to Urithiru, then wasn't he just being a cat and finding the highest spot he could perch on? Which means Urithiru is just a giant cat tree?

[azura-aurorae]

Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar, wore white on the day he was to kill a king…

[szethsmom]

I got some of that rainbow scratchy paper and decided to commit an atrocity :)

[the-commonplace-book]

i gotta draw knights radient as miraculous holders. i gotta

[blindradiant]

What does it say about me as a person that a man who fits all of these categories is my  blorbo

✅ tortured by Voices

✅ cursed by god

✅ small waist

✅ criminal record

✅ died once

Diagnosis: babygirl

[brothermouse-skeleton]

Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar: (going to work wearing a cute little all white outfit)

Me:(a Schrodinger's Cat of reading the situation) Yes! Go! Slay, King!

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere characters, it's Halloween! What are you dressing up as?

We're imagining for the moment that, you know, they have Halloween.

Painter: I'm dressing up as a guy who forgot his costume.

Painter: What? It works.

Steris: I have done research into which costume is the correct amount of spooky while still possessing a modicum of dignity.

Steris: I am a witch.

Steris: And since witches are properly in trios, Wax and Wayne are witches too!

Wax: I can make the cauldron shake with my allomancy!

Wayne: I'm just here to frighten children, dearie!

Raoden: Zombie.

Raoden: Kinda felt like I had to.

Lightsong: I'm pretending to be a god!

Llarimar: You ARE a god.

Lightsong: That's the spirit!

Marasi: Like many women, I'm dressed as the Ascendant Warrior.

Marasi: I suggested that Allik dress as the Last Emperor, but he said that "white is very bad for someone who works with chocolate."

Renarin: I'm dressed as an ardent.

Renarin: Eating candy is in character!

MeLaan: I got glowing bones. People aren't really sure what I'm supposed to be, but they ARE freaked out!

Adolin: Shallan and I have a couple's costume! We're a horse!

Shallan: Adolin is the butt, of course. Because pooping.

Adolin: We look awesome! But Kaladin is avoiding us, for some reason.

Sadeas: Me? Oh, I'm dressed as a fossil.

Dalinar: ...Is that my uniform?

Szeth: I am a ghost. Boo.

Szeth: ...I feel most comfortable in white.

Nightblood: I'm dressed as Vasher!

Nightbood: I have this tattered cloth wrapped around me, but I'm mostly selling with my grumpy expression.

Vasher: You don't have a face.

Nightblood: Grumble, grumble. No destroying evil for you! Grump. Grump!

Vasher: ...I do NOT sound like that.

Blushweaver: I dressed up as a cat! Meow!

Lightsong: You are LITERALLY wearing lingerie and cat ears.

Blushweaver: Yup! 💗

Kaladin: I was going to dress as the storm itself--or maybe Fleet or something--but apparently Syl asked my mom to make me a costume and she did.

Kaladin: ...

Kaladin: I'm a pumpkin.

Hesina: And what an adorable pumpkin you make, too!

Hesina: I could NOT be happier!

Syl: I told it'd be awesome!!

Kaladin: ...

Kaladin: Happy Halloween, I guess.

[mayatuks-catastrophe]

rip Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar, you would have loved 2000's emo warrior cats amvs

[bisexual-little-lad]

HOLY SHIT I HAVE POLLS NOW

[bedeliabestiebracket]

Is there a bracket image or a list of characters?

There’ll be a bracket image starting round two because that’s when the polls will be between two characters so it’s easier to make one of those. Here’s a list of the characters in the current polls

Piotr Rasputin/Sherlock Holmes/Mo Ran

Paul/Miss Honey/Ms. Valerie Frizzle

Nona/Paddington/Son Goku

Party Poison/Misty Quigley/Xie Lian

Juniper Woods/Szeth/Plixie

Barack Obama/Grian/Rick Shades

Jon arbuckle/Baymax/Adam savage

Lelouch Lamperouge/Rita [REDACTED]/Peridot

Rodrick Heffley/Ron F. Stampler/Wedge

Toriel/The toy soldier/Sophie Hatter

Miles Morales/Thing/Wall-e

Sylphrenia/Nimona/Team Rocket

The Cheshire Cat/The Moth/Qi Xiaotian

Thor/Xavier/Winnie the pooh

Robin Buckley/Spock/Ted Lasso

Yog-Sothoth/Tony Thompson/Sister Mary Loquacious

[sebarial-the-economist]

Book 1: Szeth is a murderer, an assassin. He started a war. Bad Szeth *spray him with a squirt bottle as if he's a cat*

Book 4: Die Gavilar you ass! Oh good, here comes that weird bald dude to do a public service. Just in time!

every time i’m reading and navani says she’s not a scholar the urge to give szeth a trophy, medal and round of applause grows stronger

[blackthornass]

my favorirte things in the world OFFICIAL LIST:

-dalinar

-grilled cheese sandwich

-kitty cats

-szeth being absolutely boss at paintball

-the love of my friends even though my friends are all either mad at me or streessedth e fuck out about me its okay i love myfriends anyway <3

love you my friends. <3

-am i allowed to say smirnoff vanilla vodka or will that get me shot by the dont romanticize your addiction police

-dalinar torso with no shirt on

-quinton reviews icarly saga

-monologueing to myself because if i dont listen to myself talk who will

[jewishdainix]

So to summerise what just happened:

> A little girl with powers that are strange even for radiants went to still food with a bunch of guys

> a guy that kills radiants and WAA THERE WHEN GAVILAR WAS MURDERED tried go catch her

> one of his minions killed one of tbe guys that was stealling with lift, the girl

>she revives him

> he is crowned king

[cosmerelists]

Why Every Stormlight Character Is Secretly A Cat

Or, you know, as many of them as I can fit into one reasonably sized list!

1. Kaladin: Likes to be high

Kaladin-Kitty: (purring happily on the very tallest cat tree ever)

Hapless Cat-Parent: Yup, he loves being tall!

Hapless Cat-Parent: Hardly ever touches the floor if he can help it!

2. Lift: Knows that YOUR food is simply better

Hapless Cat-Parent: S-Stop trying to steal my pancakes!

Hapless Cat-Parent: You HAVE food!

3. Lopen: Sometimes hurts people when he only meant to play around

Hapless Cat-Parent: Ow!! No biting!!!

Hapless Cat-Parent: I-It’s okay! You know I’ll protect you, even if you hurt me.

4. Lewshi: Likes to Play-Fight

Hapless Cat-Parent: Ha, ha yeah! Lewshi LOVES to wrestle with the other kitties.

Hapless Cat-Parent: Never with murderous intent, of course! She just loves a good play-fight!

5. Szeth: Can see ghosts

Szeth-Kitty: (staring unblinking at a spot across the room)

Hapless Cat-Parent: W-What do you see with your kitty eyes?!?

6. Syl: Sometimes gets the zoomies

Hapless Cat-Parent: Ha, yeah, she loves to race about like this!

Hapless Cat-Parent: Especially when it’s stormy out, for some reason.

7. Nale: Likes the hunt

Nale-Kitty: (laser-focused, butt wiggling)

Hapless Cat-Parent: That stuffed mouse will never escape you!

8. Renarin: Is autistic (since, you know, all cats are autistic)

Hapless Cat-Parent: I just don’t understand people who think cats are hard to read!

Hapless Cat-Parent: All we gotta do is pay attention to your body language, huh, bud?

9. Rock: Knows the importance of cooking

Hapless Cat-Parent: Making biscuits again, huh?

10. Shallan: SUCH a little faker sometimes

Shallan: (the most mournful of kitty cries)

Hapless Cat-Parent: Y-You can’t trick me! I KNOW I already fed you!!

11. Tien: Brings you presents when you’re sad

Hapless Cat-Parent: B-brought me another rock, huh?

Hapless Cat-Parent: Thanks, buddy. I love it.

12. Stormfather: Knocks things over and pretends it wasn’t his fault

Hapless Cat-Parent: H-Hey! Did you knock EVERYTHING off my shelf?!

Stormfather-Kitty: (innocently cleaning his tail)

Hapless Cat-Parent: Uh-HUH.

13. Pattern: Will cockblock you at any opportunity

Romantic Partner: Uh, your cat’s creepy, unblinking gaze is kinda killing the mood here.

Hapless Cat-Parent: Yeah...he does that.

14. Sebarial: Knows the importance of conserving your energy

Hapless Cat-Parent: Napping in the sunshine, huh?

Hapless Cat-Parent: You sure live the good life.

15. Rlain: Changes forms when he needs to

Hapless Cat-Parent: Wow! You’re all poofed up!

Hapless Cat-Parent: You look so big and scary! That dog outside is definitely intimidated. 

16. Rysn: Is not afraid to jump from very high places

Hapless Cat-Parent: Ha ha! Thank goodness cats always land on their feet!

(I’m sorry)

17. Moash: Does NOT accept that humans should be in charge

Hapless Cat-Parent: Oh sweet Moash-kitty, sometimes you stare at me like you’re plotting my demise.

Hapless Cat-Parent: ...Sometimes I think I’m lucky you don’t have thumbs.

18. Cord: “Father, I crave violence.”

19. Navani: A very curious kitty

Hapless Cat-Parent: Yes, yes, I know you must sniff every one of these groceries.

Hapless Cat-Parent: Such an investigative little kitty!

20. Jasnah: Respect must be earned

Human Amaram: I am COVERED in SCRATCHES

Hapless Cat-Parent: You can’t force a cat to like you, you know.

21. Venli: Can’t decide what she wants

Venli-kitty: (mournful meows)

Hapless Cat-Parent: Oh? You want the door open?

Venli-kitty: (mournful meows)

Hapless Cat-Parent: O-Oh? You want it closed now?

Venli-kitty: (ever more mournful meows)

Hapless Cat-Parent: Make up your mind, already!

22. Eshonai: Adapts to communicate with humans

Hapless Cat-Parent: Huh! It says here that adult cats only meow to communicate with humans!

Hapless Cat-Parent: ...Is that your excuse for singing the song of your people every morning at 3:00am, then?

23. Elhokar: Pretends it was all on purpose

Hapless Cat-Parent: Hanging upside down from a claw snag again, huh?

Hapless Cat-Parent: Yes, yes, I’m sure you meant to do that.

24. Dalinar: HATES closed doors

Dalinar-Kitty: (vigorous scratching)

Hapless Cat-Parent: Yes, yes, I’d hate to interrupt your journey to the bathroom.

25. Teft: Shows affection by staying at your side

Hapless Cat-Parent: You’re so sweet, Teft-kitty.

Hapless Cat-Parent: You may be grumpy, but you’re always sitting next to me when I’m sad.

26. Thaidakar: Best not to let him get out

Hapless Cat-Parent: Ha, ha, of COURSE I don’t let my cat outside!

Hapless Cat-Parent: Thaida-kat would destroy the whole ecosystem if he got out.

27. Adolin: Looks great in his little outfits

Adolin-kitty: (purring contentedly)

Hapless Cat-Parent: Yeah, and ever since I put him in that little sweater, he won’t let me take it off!

Hapless Cat-Parent: Such a fashion icon.

[basket-of-radiants]

This is for @szethsmom! Szeth with her kitty cats Pippin and Annie. Thank you for all the love and also for showing me your cats. <3