#Sydney Wall Removal

[wallremoval01]

Removing a wall can completely transform your space, allowing for a more open layout and better flow between rooms. Visit https://www.activewallremoval.com.au/ Sydney wall removal can greatly enhance your living space.

[mzcain27]

Saw bad omens was dope also some v weird shit about it tho lmao

[garlicisgodsbestinvention]

perfect dimensions

(Carmy x Designer!Reader)

Summary: The Bear is weeks from opening, and Sugar hires an interior designer to bring the vision to life. Part 1/3.

Warnings: cursing, WILL contain smut later 👀NO use of Y/N because this is the 21st century. Carmy x female!reader, reader is described as having longer hair but that’s it for physical descriptions. NOT EDITED because I’m lazy girl tehe

—————————MINORS DNI——————————

“I hired a designer,” Natalie tells them in passing on Thursday, waving a vague hand when both Syd and Carmy open their mouthes to ask, “She’ll be here in like, twenty minutes.”

“Okay, heard, but we already have a design,” Carmy says, gesturing to the wall covered in layouts.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you had a degree in architecture and engineering. Those are fake dimensions, Bear; we don’t know shit about anything, so someone is going to come in and make sure that we’ve got the right fucking shade of white!” Natalie shouts before the office door slams shut, leaving Syd and Camry to stare after her with equal confusion.

“Pregnancy is making her…” Syd starts to say.

“Mean?”

“Yeah, mean. Definitely a little mean,” Sydney sighs, “She’s right though. Vibe doesn’t get us to opening night.”

And that’s how Carmen finds himself stuttering through an introduction from a now much-more-pleasant Natalie when she shows a woman through the front doors.

Carmen extends his hand to you, clearing his throat, nodding like a fucking idiot when you tell him your name.

“Yeah,” he says, “I’m uh, I’m Carmen.”

“Nice to meet you,” you say, mouth spreading into a smile that makes his heart beat a little faster. “Walk me through?”

Natalie takes the lead while Carmy and Syd hang back. One glance at the look on his partner’s face should have sent Carmy scrambling for something else to do, but he’s not fast enough to remove himself from her presence before a laugh is bubbling from between her closed lips and he’s desperately hoping his face isn’t turning red.

“Im, uh, Carmen,” Syd lowers her voice in a mocking tone.

“Fuck right off,” Carmy shakes his head at her.

“You literally forgot your name!”

“I didn’t forget my fuckin’ name—“

“Like oh my god, a pretty girl with pretty eyes appears and you forget how to talk!”

“Are you done?”

“Absolutely not. I can’t wait for Richie to meet her.”

Carmen wishes the day would never come.

Ten minutes later you appear back in the dining room, Fak following close behind with a shit-eating grin that makes Carmy wish he had never gotten out of bed this morning.

“Carmy! Did you know she likes to bake?”

“No, Fak, we’ve only just met. Would you let her do her job?” Carmen sighs, rubbing his fingers into his eyes to stop an oncoming headache. Syd snorts.

“We’ll chat more later, Neil, I promise,” you say.

“You might have just made yourself a new best friend,” Syd laughs.

Carmy looks away the moment your eyes swivel over to his, trying to disguise that he’s staring as best he can.

“So,” you say, “Natalie said you had drawings. May I see?”

Camry’s fingers itch in a weird way, but he manages a nod before striding over to his backpack to pull out the notebook while you scan the wall of swatches and inspiration photos. You nods your head a little, like you’re concocting an idea.

Carmy wants to twirl a finger through the strand of hair hanging loose out of your updo.

“So, uh, this is what I’ve come up with so far.”

He then spends the next ten minutes walking you through each of the drawings, explaining himself a little too thoroughly, and making random comments about lighting and booth fabric. You look intent the whole time, brow furrowed at the page, occasionally pointing and you don’t even have to say anything—Carmy just starts to over explain immediately following the point of your painted fingernail.

When he’s done, you nod your head slowly, the corner of your mouth twitching up. You’re wearing some sort of lipstick that reminds Carmy of the stain of touching a cherry pit.

“These are amazing,” you say finally, and Carmy feels his face heat. “I like the vibe. I love the vibe, actually. Are you a sensitive person?”

You look up at him and Carmy short-circuits.

Syd says yes, at the exact time he says no.

“Conflicting signals,” you say, “Anyone else to weigh in?”

It takes a second for him to realize that you’re making a joke, and he has to shake himself out of a stupor caused completely by the sight of your smile.

“Uh, no, no I’m good. Gimme feedback,” he says, and you reach out to flip the pages back, landing on the entry.

“Great. I’m going to tell you what we need to fix,” you say, straight to the point. “This entry is too small. Either we need to extend out into the sidewalk, or we need to push the kitchen back by at least five or six feet. The bar is going to create a bottleneck right here, and we need to inset these shelves to give you a little more working room. The lighting here needs to be sconces, and the bathroom doors need to slide to maximize space—this is too small for a swinging door.”

Carmen is fully intent on taking in every word you’re saying, but out of the corner of his eye he can’t help but see Syd’s face transform into something mildly resembling devious.

“Heard,” Carmy says, nodding his head as you looks back up. “Let’s rock.”

——————————————————————————

You become a fixture in Carmy’s life in the same way that Sydney or Richie or Nat are, appearing every time he turns the corner and whispering a hello in passing before you start barking orders to the contractors who listen to your every word. Strangely, he can relate. A week ago you told him, Carmen, please decide which side of the bar you want the ice machine on, and do it quickly so I can tell the water guy when he gets here. He’s never made a decision so fast in his life.

Even Nat had popped an eyebrow when he replied, on it, before you’d even really finished your sentence.

Usually, he’s on autopilot—walking in and straight back to the office or the kitchen and hardly ever stopping to notice what’s going on. He’s the first one in and the last one out by design, so he doesn’t even see everyone else arrive until they’re already there.

This morning, though, Carmy walks into the kitchen to see you already there, writing something out in a notebook as Natalie talks, waving her hands wildly.

“Okay, I got you,” you’re saying only glancing up when Carmy’s shoes shuffle too loudly on the floor. “Oh! Good, you’re here. I need you.“

Carmy raises his eyebrows. “Need me?”

“To look at paint swatches,” you say, ushering him into the main dining area. The words ring in his head like bells as he follows you, the scent of your perfume surrounding him as he walks through the crowd of it. You smells so good, and it reminds him of New York City somehow, the faint scent of rain.

He figures that you must have come in even earlier than he and Natalie both, because you’re dressed more casually than usual, and there’s a charm necklace dangling over your tee shirt that he tries to identify when you turn without you realizing he’s staring. He makes out a paintbrush and nothing else.

“Right, so,” you start, gesturing to the wall. There’s a beat of silence with them both staring at the three swatches on the wall, and then Carmy turns towards you.

Your words overlap.

Carmy says, “I hate them.”

At the same moment, you say, “They’re horrible, right?”

Carmy laughs, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, not it.”

“Okay, so hear me out.” You say, leaving his side to pull something from your folder. “Pink.”

“Pink?”

“Like, oyster shell pink. Neutral enough that in the low light it’ll look pale, almost indiscernible from white. And this wall—“ you point to the back where the booths will be and shake your head. “Has to be a mural. It’ll look unfinished if it’s bare.”

Carmy nods along with everything that you say, trying to envision it. “What kind of mural?”

You tilt your head, chewing at your lip. Carmy completely short-circuits for an embarrassingly long second.

“I might have some ideas,” you say in a soft voice, crossing over to the table where you’ve set your things and pulling out a black sketchbook.

“Two artists in residence, huh?” Carmy jokes, his stomach fluttering when you smile.

“Do you draw anything other than food and restaurant interiors?” You ask.

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” you repeat, looking up at him. He knows that you want him to elaborate—he would never admit out loud that he spends the hours he’s not cooking trying to replicate the way your necklace hangs off of your neck and the curve of your wrist.

Occasionally he doesn’t do weird, obsessive, borderline creepy things—sometimes he sketches the buildings outside his window as the sun goes down, or tries to remember what the boat in Copenhagen looked like, or that one place he used to drink coffee at in New York.

Your eyes narrow at him just a little, like you’re trying to read all the things he’s not saying.

He dips his head, half to look at the page you’ve opened the notebook to and half to get out from under the scrutiny of your pretty eyes.

“That’s insane,” Carmy finds himself saying, looking down at the waves of color on the page. “It looks like, almost like wood? Or marble. That’s—fuck, that’s so cool.”

The page is covered in shades of brown and deep green and black, melding together into something that reminds him of tree rings or stained wood panels, muted like an old chinoiserie river painting.

“You could hire someone to change it out seasonally maybe, it’d be cool, but I think something like this would look nice with the color of the wood we picked for the tables—“

“Will you do it?” Carmy asks, fingertips tracing over the edge of the paper and coming away brushed with color—oil pastels. “Could you, I mean, I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it like this.” He tells you, rubbing the tips of his fingers together and watching the color meld together before meeting your eye.

Your mouth is parted, eyes wide as you look at him, and he gets the urge to flick your bottom lip to see if it’s as soft as it looks.

“I,” you start to say, “Yeah. I can do it. If you want me to.”

“I do,” he says, too quickly. “Want you to. Paint it.”

Because what else would he be asking you to do? He wants to throw his entire brain into the blender on high.

“Okay,” you say, “I’ll start tomorrow.”

He makes a mental note to make sure he’s there all day to peer through the windows and watch you work.

[cece693]

Could you do a sequel to why? Where evil Bro,Billy and Stu succeed and the aftermath of their crimes?

Why? Pt.2 (Billy and Stu x M! Reader)

Sorry, I've been inactive guys. I see all the love and support you leave on my works which makes me incredibly happy. This took me forever to get out, but I hope you like it :)

Link to Pt. 1

tags: blood, murder, stabbing, killers duh, ghostface, death, m/n almost dies, but not really, just a knick really, if a gunshot to the chest counts :)

M/N watched with sick satisfaction as his sister’s world crumbled right in front of her eyes. People she trusted and loved have become her ruin. But the boy didn’t have much time to gloat as, without warning, Sydney threw her head back, making contact with M/N’s face. The impact sent him reeling back, a cry of pain escaping his lips as she seized the moment, slipping out of his grip and out the kitchen door. 

Sydney's heart pounded in her ears as she navigated the maze-like corridors. Desperation fueled her escape, but she knew she couldn't outrun them forever. Her brother would quickly recover and his lovers would surely be fueled with anger at her little stunt. Opening a random door, she gasped in relief, finding a phone on the bedside table and the Ghostface costume lying on top of the bed. Idea forming in her head, Sydney wasted no time and dialed 911, begging them to hurry before donning the costume, the mask fitting snugly over her face. If Stu, Billy, and M/N wanted to play, they would. Sydney knew she needed a weapon or her escape would be futile. The gun and knives were downstairs in the kitchen, with M/N probably guarding over them, so she had to make use of the items around her. Seeing a bat, she grabbed it before exiting. 

Downstairs, M/N was still reeling from the headbutt—blood wiped harshly off his nose as a pounding headache began, he continued his search for Sydney. With the gun gripped tightly in his hand, he checked the closet and behind every door, but to no avail. Huffing in frustration, M/N stalked towards the garage when a sudden blow came from behind. The impact sent him sprawling forward, the gun slipping from his grasp and skittering across the floor. Crying out, M/N saw Ghostface, bat in hand, poised to strike again. Panic surged through him as he scrambled to his feet, his eyes darting around for anything he could use to defend himself.

"You think you can stop me?" M/N spat, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. He backed into a nearby wall, his hand closing around a lamp. Ripping it from the socket, M/N swung it at the masked figure, watching as it connected with a sickening thud. The lamp shattered on impact, glass and metal fragments scattering across the floor. Ghostface stumbled back, momentarily disoriented but quickly recovering.

Before M/N could launch another attack, Ghostface swung the bat again, catching him in the shoulder. The pain was immediate and intense, sending shockwaves through his body. M/N tried to defend himself with his fists, but Ghostface was relentless. A final swing connected with M/N's head, sending him to the ground in agony, his vision swimming as he struggled to stay conscious.

From the floor, M/N watched with wide eyes as the figure removed its mask and bent down to grab the gun. His sister looked upon him with cold eyes, blood oozing from her forehead. “Yes, and I did.” Trying to crawl away, M/N gasped when his sister aimed and fired. The gunshot echoed through the house as M/N felt a searing pain in his chest—his shirt quickly soaking up blood. 

Upstairs Billy and Stu heard the gunshot. Exchanging looks, they raced downstairs, faces contorted with fury and panic at the sight. “Sydney, you bitch!” Billy's voice thundered through the room, the intensity of his fury vibrating in the air as he rushed forward with his knife drawn. Every step was fueled by a fierce loyalty to his lovers, his mind consumed by a primal instinct to defend what was his.

Meanwhile, Stu's heart hammered in his chest as he raced toward M/N. He knelt beside his beloved, his fingers fumbling as he tried to apply pressure to the wound. "M/N, stay with me." Stu pleaded, his voice thick with emotion as he looked into his lover's eyes. The boy only smiled, as if he already surrendered to fate, but Stu wouldn’t let go yet. The sound of sirens could be heard from blocks away; M/N just needed to hang on. 

Billy made quick work of disposing of Sydney, stabbing at her body until she dropped to the ground without a pulse. He had wanted to kill Sydney on the spot, but if the sound of sirens was real and not a hallucination, they needed an alibi. Panting and covered in blood, he returned to the garage and rushed to Stu's side.

"Is he going to be okay?" Billy's voice cracked with desperation as he dropped to his knees.

"I don’t know, but we have to stop the bleeding." Stu responded, his voice shaking but determined. Together, they worked frantically, using their shirts to create makeshift bandages, pressing them firmly against M/N's wound. The sirens were closer now, almost upon them.

"Hang on, M/N. The ambulance is almost here." Billy urged, his hands stained with blood as he tried to keep pressure on the wound. Minutes felt like hours, but finally, the flashing lights of the ambulance illuminated the room. Paramedics burst through the door, swiftly taking over from Stu and Billy. 

The last thing the duo wanted to do was leave M/N’s side, but the police wouldn’t let them go without giving testimonies. “Can’t this wait?” Billy hissed, watching as the paramedics lifted M/N onto a stretcher to be wheeled off to the nearest hospital. 

“I’m afraid you need to stay here and answer some questions.” An officer explained, blocking his path. Billy’s desire to see M/N again held him back from picking up a knife to stab the man, so with one last glance at the door, Billy nodded. Stu, the lucky bastard, had left him to deal with the officer, faking an injury on his side which allowed him to ride with M/N. 

“Fine.” 

Billy took a deep breath, his mind trying to focus on the current task. "It was Sydney, she was behind the Ghostface murders. She attacked us."

The officer took notes, his expression serious. "And where is Sydney now?" 

"Dead." Billy said bluntly. "We had to defend ourselves. She left us no choice." 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the police released them. "You can go now. We'll be in touch if we need more information."

They didn’t need to tell him twice, without another word, Billy rushed to the hospital where he found Stu in the waiting room. His shirt was covered in blood with bandages peeking from the neckline, but more urging matters were at hand. “How’s M/N?”

"Alive. They said if the bullet would've been an inch more to the left, it would've hit his heart."

Billy's eyes burned with fury at the close call. The thought of losing M/N filled him with a rage so intense it was almost blinding. He clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white. “We almost lost him.” Billy said through clenched teeth. 

Stu reached out, grabbing his hand. “But he’s fine. They put him to sleep so the wound has time to heal. They gave him a week max before being able to return home.” Relaxing at the information, Billy looked at Stu and smiled. With M/N now in the clear, they could celebrate getting away with the Ghostface murders.

[monsivaisstuff]

Some things about interior design

-The decorative painting that appears in season 2 with the phrase "mother" is located on the side wall of the bar space (which is the space where drinks are displayed and prepared, Donna / drinks)

- According to my little research on the internet: the Sydney Opera House is one of the great architectural works of Danish design.

- The "bear" wall, that is, I'm talking about the wall where the booths are located, for me is a key element in the FOH design. It stands out because it has a wood covering with huge grain (remember that the other walls are white). It also has warm lighting from bottom to top, which further reinforces its unique character. These grains could be a reference to the scratches of these animals, resembling the lines that sometimes appear in Carmy's panic attacks (I read about the lines that appear during panic attacks and the similarity to scratches in a meta; it clicked when I saw the wood on the wall)

- I found it curious how the decision was made to remove the false ceiling from the interior, that is, the false ceiling was eliminated, leaving the structural beams exposed, and the smooth finish of the walls was also eliminated, leaving the bricks with its imperfections exposed.On the other hand, leaving the materials exposed, just as they are, is a characteristic of the Danish style, which is characterized by the use of natural materials, wood, leather, among others, so this decision could be due to being in line with this design line chosen for The Bear.

- The use of cold/warm materials in FOH is in tune with the series' recurring theme of cold/warm, red/blue. To achieve this, warm-toned wood furniture was used, honey-colored booth upholstery, gold lamps and decorative accessories, warm lighting, and white paint on the walls. These elements together reinforce the idea of ​​a warm space. However, this warmth provided by the materials and lighting is combined with cool materials. In this case, the cool element is the floor, which appears to be polished concrete (concrete is considered a cool material in architecture and interior design). However, although warm and cold materials are combined in the design, the overall feel of the FOH environment is warm/homey, which is more noticeable when contrasted with Ever's design. At Ever we have a cooler material palette and a more experimental/futuristic atmosphere, its design is a bit more "square" that is, there are more linear elements, there are lattices based on wooden strips, linear lamps, walls with lines, a cold light, etc., while at The Bear we see more organic lines in the furniture, lamps and accessories, I want to assume that the food they serve is in tune with the interior design of both restaurants.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

I'm paying attention, and I'm convinced that they deliberately removed her scrunchie this season. We're also focusing on Sydney's fits—from the holes in her sleeves to the polka-dot sauce to the Sailor Moon outfit.

Why?

They better have an answer to this, and my answer is that carmy is in love with Sydney and notices everything about her, so Storer wants the audience to see the little things Carmy notices.

Considering the editor explains that we're in Carmy's mind from the moment he wakes up in 1x01, Carmy pays attention to Sydney even when unaware of it. This makes the part of Marcus's eulogy even more powerful because after this comes the scene of Sydney stating the obvious to Carmy - that he writes in the margins. So the audience knows Sydney is still paying attention, and we don't have big clues that Carmy is paying attention this season, except for the compliments. The subtle lead up in 3x09 where Sydney yawns and Carmy perks up- is another reveal he's focused and the big reveal is the sauce that Carmy makes, where his words fall short but his actions show he hasn't let his focus wander.

This is one of the sleights of hand that Storer wants to drive us up the wall with - thinking the scrunchie belongs to Claire, but really it's Sydney's scrunchie that's been missing all season and appears in Carmy's apartment.

Telling us that in some way, Carmy has kept his promise to Sydney. She has his full focus, and it's something they haven't REALLY talked about. Anyway, I don't think it's too far off to see the scrunchie belonging to Sydney's, and we're left wondering how and when it was left there.

[camisoledadparis]

presents THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … December 31

HAPPY HOGMANAY! What's is Hogmanay you say? Why the roots of Hogmanay reach back to the celebration of the winter solstice among the Norse, as well as incorporating customs from the Gaelic New Year's celebration of Samhain.

In Europe, winter solstice evolved into the ancient celebration of Saturnalia, a great Roman winter festival, where people celebrated completely free of restraint and inhibition. The Vikings celebrated Yule, which later contributed to the Twelve Days of Christmas, or the "Daft Days" (really) as they were sometimes called in Scotland. The winter festival went underground with the Protestant Reformation and ensuing years, but re-emerged near the end of the 17th century. A very Scottish thing Hogmanay. Wear a kilt to this evening's festivities to set the mood right!

192 – The Roman emperor Commodus died on this date (b.161). It's New Year's Eve and, after a long year's journey, we are finally at the end of this year. To be on the safe side, why not stay home and watch old reruns of Guy Lombardo and spend a quiet evening in memory of the emperor Commodus, who called his exceptionally well-endowed cup-bearer "my donkey," and was strangled by an over- enthusiastic wrestler named Narcissus on this day.

In 2000's neo-blood and sandals epic Gladiator, Commodus was portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix in an Academy-Award-nominated performance. The historical character of Commodus is fictionalized in the movie as a deranged megalomaniac who murders Marcus Aurelius to usurp the throne. There is no historical evidence suggesting Marcus Aurelius was murdered, much less by his own son. However the movie removes some of the most bizarre eccentricities of Commodus. The film's protagonist, Maximus Decimus Meridius (played by Russell Crowe) is loosely inspired by Narcissus, and was named so in a previous draft of the screenplay, but as in The Fall of the Roman Empire Commodus is killed in hand-to-hand combat. Commodus's death marked the end of the Nervan-Antonian and of the Pax Romana.

Dressing Tony Curtis for "Some Like It Hot"

1897 – Orry-Kelly was the professional name of Orry George Kelly (d.1964), a prolific Hollywood costume designer.

He was born in Kiama, New South Wales, Australia, and was known as Jack Kelly. His father William Kelly, was born on the Isle of Man and was a gentleman tailor in Kiama. Orry was a name of an ancient King of Man. Jack Kelly studied art in Sydney, and worked as a tailor's apprentice and window dresser.

He journeyed to New York to pursue an acting career. He shared an apartment there with Charlie Spangles and Cary Grant. Director Gillian Armstrong writes of this time:

''The big secret is that when Orry first got to New York and was trying to get his start, painting murals on walls and selling hand-painted ties, he ended up rooming with a young British actor called Archie Leach. They definitely became lovers and were living together for about five years.''

The job painting murals in a nightclub led to his employment by Fox East Coast studios illustrating titles. He designed costumes and sets for Broadway's Shubert Revues and George White's Scandals. His lover, Archie Leach, went on to become Cary Grant.

Orry-Kelly went to Hollywood in 1932, working for all the major studios (Warner Brothers, Universal, RKO, 20th Century Fox, and MGM), and designed for all the great actresses of the day, including Bette Davis, Kay Francis, Olivia de Havilland, Katharine Hepburn, Dolores del Río, Ava Gardner, Ann Sheridan, Barbara Stanwyck, and Merle Oberon.

He worked on many films now deemed classics, including 42nd Street, The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca, Arsenic and Old Lace, Harvey, Oklahoma!, Auntie Mame, and Some Like It Hot.He won three Academy Awards for Best Costume Design (for An American in Paris, Cole Porter's Les Girls, and Some Like It Hot) and was nominated for a fourth (for Gypsy). A longtime alcoholic, he died of liver cancer in Hollywood. His pallbearers included Cary Grant, Tony Curtis, Billy Wilder and George Cukor and his eulogy was read by Jack Warner. His Academy Awards went to Jack Warner's wife, Ann.

1948 – Joe Dallesandro, is an American actor and Warhol superstar. Although he never became a mainstream film star, Dallesandro is generally considered to be the most famous male sex symbol of American underground films of the 20th century, as well as a sex symbol of gay subculture

Born into a dysfunctional family, Joe was placed in foster homes. Dallesandro began acting out and became aggressive. He repeatedly ran away from his foster home until his father finally relented and allowed him to live with him. At the age of 14, Dallesandro and his brother moved to Queens to live with their paternal grandparents and their father.

At 15, he was expelled from school for punching the principal, who had insulted his father. After his expulsion, Dallesandro began hanging out with gangs and started stealing cars. In once such instance, Dallesandro panicked and smashed the stolen car he was driving through the gate of the Holland Tunnel. He was stopped by a police roadblock and shot once in the leg by police who mistakenly thought he was armed. Dallesandro managed to escape being caught by police, but was later arrested when his father took him to the hospital for his gunshot wound. He was sentenced to Camp Cass Rehabilitation Center for Boys in the Catskills in 1964

The following year, Dallesandro ran away from Camp Cass. He supported himself by prostitution and later nude modeling, appearing most notably in short films and magazine photos for Bob Mizer's Athletic Model Guild.

Dallesandro met Andy Warhol and Paul Morrissey in 1967 while they were shooting Four Stars, and they cast him in the film on the spot. Warhol would later comment "In my movies, everyone's in love with Joe Dallesandro."

Dallesandro played a hustler in his third Warhol film, Flesh (1968), where he had several nude scenes. Flesh became a crossover hit with mainstream audiences, and Dallesandro became the most popular of the Warhol stars. New York Times film critic Vincent Canby wrote of him: "His physique is so magnificently shaped that men as well as women become disconnected at the sight of him."

A Warhol photograph of the crotch bulge of Dallesandro's tight blue jeans graces the famous cover of the Rolling Stones album Sticky Fingers. Dallesandro explained to biographer Michael Ferguson, "It was just out of a collection of junk photos that Andy pulled from. He didn't pull it out for the design or anything, it was just the first one he got that he felt was the right shape to fit what he wanted to use for the fly."

As Dallesandro's underground fame began to cross over into the popular culture, he graced the cover of Rolling Stone in April 1971. He was also photographed by some of the top celebrity photographers of the time.

He continued to star in films made mainly in France and Italy for the rest of the decade, returning to America in the 1980s. He made several mainstream films during the 1980s and 1990s. One of his first notable roles was that of 1920s gangster Lucky Luciano in Francis Coppola's The Cotton Club. He also had roles in Critical Condition (1987), Sunset (1988) , Guncrazy (1992), Cry-Baby (1990), and The Limey.

In addition to films, Dallesandro has also worked in television. In 1986, he co-starred in the ABC drama series Fortune Dane. The series lasted only five episodes. Dallesandro has also made guest appearances on Wiseguy, Miami Vice, and Matlock.

In 2009, Dallesandro wrote and produced the documentary film Little Joe. The film chronicles Dallesandro's life and career.

Dallesandro, who identifies himself as bisexual, has been married three times and has two children. He is semi-retired from acting, and currently manages an apartment building in Los Angeles.

1948 – The American singer Donna Summer, was born on this date (d.2012). She was an American singer, songwriter and artist, best known for a string of disco hits in the late 1970s that earned her the title "Queen Of Disco" and as one of the few disco-based artists to have longevity on the charts through the late 1980s and beyond.

The question with Donna Summer is, "is she or isn't she?" Homophobic that is!

In the mid 1980s, rumors began circulating that Summer had allegedly made anti-gay comments regarding the AIDS epidemic as being a punishment from God for homosexuality. The fallout from the alleged quote had a significantly negative impact on Summer's career, which saw thousands of her records being returned to her record company by angered fans. However, Summer denied making any such remarks and many years later she filed a lawsuit against New York magazine when it reprinted the rumors as fact, just as Summer was about to release her latest album Mistaken Identity in 1991. According to an A&E Biography program in which Summer participated in 1995, the lawsuit was settled out of court with neither side discussing details of the settlement.

D.L. Groover of Houston's OutSmart magazine wrote that after a 1983 concert in Atlantic City, Summer was talking to the fans, as she liked to do at this first- comeback point in her career. A man with AIDS asked her to pray for him, because he knew of her born-again Christian beliefs, and she said she would be delighted. Someone else piped up that she was being hypocritical. At that point, all accounts get fuzzy and overblown, but every witness says that the heated situation deteriorated, with many outraged patrons shouting as they left the auditorium. In more than one account, Summer said that AIDS appeared in the gay community because of its reckless lifestyle... but did not say that AIDS was God's punishment. She and the gay fan prayed together, she asked him to turn his life to Christ, and she embraced him - a courageous act at a time when most people would have run screaming from the room to get away from someone with the deadly disease.

For her part Summer told The Advocate in 1989 that "A couple of the people I write with are gay, and they have been ever since I met them. What people want to do with their bodies is their personal preference. I'm not going to stand in judgment about what the Bible says about someone else's life. I've got things in my life I've got to clean up. What's in your life is your business." Make of that what you will.

Rick Sandford as Ben Barker

1950 – Rick Sandford (d.1995) was a documentary research assistant, editor and actor of gay erotic movies and author.

Rick Steven Sandford was born in Denver, Colorado, and grew up in the Lake Tahoe area. His early difficulties learning to read led his parents to enroll him in a private school.

After his graduation in 1969, he first went to Los Angeles on vacation, to see the musical, Hair and the Russian motion picture version of War and Peace, and after 1972, Sandford remained in Los Angeles employed in various positions, from an usher at Grauman's Chinese Theatre to a television show stand-in.

In 1977 he met Josh Becker, American writer and director, of films and television, who would become his long-time friend, according to Becker, Sandford only heterosexual friend.

Initially living in a bungalow behind a house in West Hollywood, Sandford was evicted and with his best friend, Stacey, with whom he had grown up in Reno, he moved into a one-bedroom apartment at 666 N. Van Ness.

Sandford received credit as research assistant on 50 Golden Years of Oscar: the Official History of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences and Ronald Haver's David O. Selznick's Hollywood. Sandford served as assistant on the 1990 documentary Hollywood Mavericks.

Sandford appeared on television shows and in motion pictures as an extra and in a few bit parts: in episodes of Police Woman in 1974 and Step by Step in 1991. During the late 1970s and early 1980s he worked as an editor on 3 gay erotic films and appeared as Benjamin Barker or Ben Barker in 13 gay erotic motion pictures including Kip Noll and the Westside Boys, Rear Deliveries, Skin Deep, The Class of '84 Part 2 Jocks, Gold Rush Boys, The Boys of San Francisco, A Night at Halsted's, and Games.In the mid 1980s, Don Bachardy sketched Sandford for his book, Drawing of the Male Nude; both Bachardy and his partner Christopher Isherwood were friends with Sandford. During this time, Sandford introduced Bachardy and Isherwood to Yale-trained actor Peter Evans and his then lover Craig Lucas. Sandford and Lucas had a fling, and Lucas remembered

"He came to New York with a strip show. To [the song] 'Another Hundred People' from 'Company', he arrived onstage with a suitcase, and met invisible New Yorkers, stripping for them, looking for love. Afterward, we had to wait while older men went into his dressing room to make appointments. Or something."

In 1991, his short story Forster & Rosenthal Reevaluated: An Investigative Report was published. In 1994, another of his short stories, Purim was published. Two more of Sandford's short stories were published posthumously, The Gospel Of Bartholemew Legate: Three Fragments and Manifest White. In 2000, his novel, Boys Across the Street was published, also posthumously.

Boys Across the Street is a candidly hilarious look at the gay life of Rick, an exporn star, who lives near a boy's Hasidic school, as he becomes obsessed with building relationships with the boys, leading to a fascination with Hasidism, which reviles his sexual orientation.

Sandford died of AIDS during the evening of September 28, 1995.

1958 – David Pevsner is an American actor, singer, dancer, porn star, and writer. Pevsner appeared in the 1990 revival of Fiddler on the Roof, 1991 revival of Rags, and some other theatrical productions. He also wrote three songs for the 1999 musical Naked Boys Singing!, including "Perky Little Porn Star." He wrote and produced two one-person shows, To Bitter and Back (2003) and Musical Comedy Whore (2013). Pevsner portrayed mostly minor roles in films and television. His major screen roles are Ebenezer Scrooge in Scrooge & Marley, the 2012 film adaptation of A Christmas Carol, and Ross Stein in a 2011 web series Old Dogs & New Tricks. He recorded the 2016 album Most Versatile, whose album cover pays homage to Bruce Springsteen's album Born in the U.S.A.

David Pevsner was raised in Skokie, Illinois. He attended Niles East High School in the same Chicago suburb and participated in its theater program. He graduated from Carnegie-Mellon University in Pittsburgh with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree.

He appeared in the 1991 revival of the 1986 musical Rags, set in 1910, portraying the dual roles of Saul and Nathan. He appeared in the 1995 theatrical play Party, portraying the role of Kevin. In the play, Kevin, a college teacher who lives with his partner, hosts a party at his apartment, where the males characters play the naked truth-or-dare game. Pevsner appeared in the two-act gay revue musical When Pigs Fly from 1996 to 1998. Pevsner appeared in F*cking Men, the 2009 explicit play written by Joe DiPietro about the lives of gay urban men, portraying Jack, who commits adultery with another man, while his husband does the same.

Pevsner co-wrote the 1999 musical Naked Boys Singing! with the writing team. He wrote three songs for the musical, including "Perky Little Porn Star" and "The Naked Maid."

Pevsner appeared in films, mostly portraying minor roles in such films as The Fluffer (2001) and Adam & Steve (2006). He also portrayed a major role of Ebenezer Scrooge in Scrooge & Marley, the 2012 film adaptation that tells the gay interpretation of the 19th-century novel A Christmas Carol.

Pevsner also portrayed minor roles in television series, particularly a bartender of a gay bar in an episode of NYPD Blue.

Pevsner recorded the 2016 album Most Versatile, whose title was inspired by his being voted "Most Versatile" in a survey back in high school. The album's working title was Shameless, named after his Tumblr blog and "for [being] something with a little skin." The songs of the album explores "a whirlwind of one man's gay experiences" and feature Jim J. Bullock, Maxwell Caulfield, and some others as guest artists. He wrote the lyrics of all thirteen songs.

In his 60s Pevsner is today earning money doing erotic performances on OnlyFans.

Pevsner is Jewish. He is also openly gay.

1969 – The first performance of The Cockettes took place on New Years Eve 1969, at the Palace Theatre in San Francisco's North Beach neighborhood and soon became a "must-see" for San Francisco's hip gay community, combining LSD-influenced dancing, set design, costumes and their own versions of show tunes (or original tunes in the same vein). Initially, shows were performed every six weeks, performing on stage prior to the Saturday midnight "Nocturnal Dream Show" of underground films at the Palace Theatre. Show titles included Gone With the Showboat to Oklahoma, Tinsel Tarts In A Hot Coma, Journey to the Center of Uranus, Smacky & Our Gang, Hollywood Babylon and Pearls Over Shanghai.

Word quickly got out that nothing like these shows had ever been seen before, and within a few months the Cockettes were getting enormous attention from the media. Not only hippie magazines, such as Earth and Rolling Stone, wanted stories on the Cockettes, but also mainstream magazines such as Look, Life and Esquire were anxious to do features as well. The Cockettes were the subject of a documentary called, of course, The Cockettes. If you haven't seen it, do. Torrent users can find it on isoHunt.com

1993 – Transman Brandon Teena is murdered by the same young men who raped him a week earlier after discovering he’d been born female. His story is captured in the film Boys Don’t Cry. The headstone on his grave is inscribed with his birth name and uses female descriptors. Teena’s murder, along with that of Matthew Shepard, led to increased lobbying for hate crime laws in the United States.

2014 – Russian large gay club called Central Station was forced to close after countless attacks of sprays of bullets and being gassed. It later reopened with the use of bulletproof glass.

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[heavenbarnes]

To noise making (sing)

Sydney Adamu x gn!reader

Warnings/contains: gender neutral reader (no pronouns), no descriptions of genitalia, oral sex, carmy is next door and might be listening in, finger sucking, mild dirty talk

This is based off an ask I received to do Sydney x reader where they have to keep quiet, but obviously tumblr lost the ask so here it is

Sydney liked living alone.

She liked making breakfast alone, she liked drinking her coffee alone, she liked watching television alone.

But Carmy was her best friend. When he told her that the leak in his own apartment would take a couple weeks to fix, she naturally offered him to stay in her spare bedroom.

Bedroom was a stretch.

It was more like an office, a study maybe? And it was right behind Sydney’s bedroom, separated by one thin wall.

But Carmy was comfortable and the whole living together thing worked well, especially for trying new dishes in the kitchen.

Logistically, things got a bit interesting the night Sydney had been out with you. The hours flew by the both of you and before she knew it, you were flashing her a sweet smile and asking if she could take you back to hers.

Sydney had been so fucking relieved to have her most recurring fantasy come true that she said yes before she’d even thought about it.

Right as she was unlocking her front door she stopped, turning to face you with a grimacing expression on her face.

“Uh so- I kind of forgot to tell you I have a roommate right now.”

You’d only smiled, nodding your head agreeably. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Sydney’s expression didn’t show any relief as she thought over her next words.

“And it’s kind of our boss.”

Your brows furrowed as you looked to the door, almost as if you could see through it. “You live with Carmy?”

Sydney nodded with an awkward smile, fully believing she’d well and truly screwed up anything between the two of you.

“Well,” Your smile was coy, taking a step closer until you were nearly nose to nose. “Guess you’re gonna’ have to shut me up.”

Sydney was thankful that Carmy was already in his room when she got home, so she didn’t have to explain why she was walking the alarmingly-sexy-kitchen-hand to her bedroom.

But that did mean he was only a thin wall away, a very thin wall away.

And Sydney never thought she’d have to deny herself the sounds you could make.

That’s how you ended up in this position, legs slung over Sydney’s shoulders as her mouth made perfect work between your thighs. Your underwear stuffed into your mouth to try and muffle your moans.

Pure torture, Sydney could just and only hear how sweet you sounded when you moaned her name and she wanted to rip the fabric right from between your teeth.

She wanted to press you to that bedroom wall and fuck you like you deserved, noise and all. Part of her didn’t care if Carmy heard, she’d tell the whole neighbourhood that it was her making you feel this good.

Knowing that her post-nut-clarity wouldn’t share the same sentiment, she kept you quiet as she worked her mouth and fingers on you. Your hands gently grasped the back of her head, rolling your hips to meet her mouth.

She was grinding her own hips into the corner of the mattress, feeling the pressure hitting exactly where she needed it. The moment she felt you grasp her braids, pulling gently with a whine- her mouth fell off you as she was the one to break her own promise.

Your name.

A heady, debauched moan of your name filled the room before she latched her lips back onto you. Sydney knew she’d done it now, there was no way Carmy missed it. She tried to ignore the shuffling she could hear from his room, tried not to think about what it might mean.

Instead she focused entirely on you, moving up your body until just her fingers were fucking you. With her free hand, she removed your underwear from your mouth to press her lips to yours.

As soon as she had, your pathetic little moans started to trickle out and she knew that you wouldn’t be able to hold it- especially not with your orgasm coming quick.

She traced two fingers along your bottom lip before laying them against your tongue, smiling as she watched your eyes roll back.

“There we go, you wanna be quiet?” She saw the furious nod of your head as your lips closed around her fingers. “Then suck.”

[acphengene]

Chapter 21 - Your fathers son

₊ ⁺ pairing: Jay x fem!reader

₊ ⁺ genre: brothers bestfriend!au, college!au, neighbors/strangers to lovers!au

₊ ⁺ warings: mild angst, lowkey parent manipulation, sibling death, strong and suggestive language, smut

₊ ⁺ trigger warnings for this chapter: anxiety attack and violence

₊ ⁺ synopsis: you move from sydney australia to seoul to get your degree, what will happen when you spill coffee on a handsome stranger?

₊ ⁺ taglist: open - updates every monday and friday - might update on other times if i want a chapter out sooner rather than later

<- previously - masterlist - next ->

You had a feeling that something might go wrong after Jay’s very cynical message of him meeting Jake by the elevator. 

You quickly rushed out of your apartment, banging on the button for the elevator wishing it would go faster. 

Sunghoon hadn’t explained what Jay freaking out meant, but in case it was bad you thought it best to hurry. 

As soon as the elevator doors opened you flew to his rescue, hand banging on the door before you even stood still. 

Sunghoon didn’t hurry opening up; which just ended up making you even more nervous. 

“Hey” he said with an apologetic smile as he opened. “I know that he might not want you to see him like this, but he’s said you feel like home so many times, so I thought you might be able to get through to him” 

Sunghoon walked you slowly into the living room where Jay was sitting on the couch. He was staring at the floor, crying silently, the only indicator being the tears flowing freely from his eyes. 

You walked slowly towards him before you sat down in front of him on the floor. He was crunched over, elbows on his knees while he was fiddling with his fingers. He didn’t even recognize your presence as you sat down, it was like he was looking right through you. 

Sunghoon sat down against the wall that was behind you, far enough to give you two a sense of privacy, but close enough to be there in case either of you would need him. 

You tried catching Jay’s eyes; but he somehow kept avoiding you. You couldn’t figure out if it was intentional or not. So you took his hands, and like if you had woken Aurora from her sleep with a kiss, he snapped back to reality. To you, his eyes finally meeting yours. 

He looked so relieved for a second, and then he broke down completely. He hid his face in his hands as his sobs took over his body. You heard Sunghoon behind you shuffling, and caught out of the corner of your eye, him hiding his face in his arms as he too broke down. 

You knew it couldn’t be easy on your loves, first love to see him like this. So broken and almost like a shell of himself. You had a feeling that it brought back memories to a smaller Park Jongseong and yet another heartbreak at the hands of his younger brother. 

You stoked his back with your hand, trying to soothe him through it, hoping it would take away just a fraction of the pain. But you knew that you in this exact second couldn’t do much for him except being there. 

How long the three of you were sitting like that, none of you knew. But slowly his breathing started being more coherent, and as he removed his hands from his face, he made room for you between his legs, pulling you to him, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck as soon as you were close enough. 

“Thank you for coming” he whispered, voice hoarse from crying. 

“Always” you said as you buried your hands in his long hair. Pulling lovingly at its roots, earning you a calm hum from the depths of his chest. 

You pulled yourself from him, removing the weight of yourself from your poor knees, as you sat down crossed legged between his feet. You rested your face on his thigh as you smiled up at him. 

Your smile never really reached your eyes, but it was reassuring. To him you had never been more beautiful than in this exact moment. 

“Tell me what happened,” you said quietly. 

So he told you about Heesengs confrontation, about his rather harsh words but he also told you that he knew they were justified. 

Your heart felt like it was ripping apart in that exact moment. One part belonged to Jay and the other to Jake. As sorry as you felt for the man in front of you, as happy you were for your brother who had the absolute best friend by his side. 

Heeseung had Jake's back, which also made it so much easier for you to push both them and their feelings aside, now knowing that he wouldn’t be alone, as you burned down the world around you to make the man you adored smile once more. 

“I get that he’s mad at me, and I get that what we did wasn’t ideal. But what’s done is done, and I can't take it back! I wont… I wont give up on you, on us” the tears once again welled up in his eyes. “You should‘ve seen Jake’s face when Heeseung informed him we wouldn’t be joining their night out. He looked so defeated. And I just knew in that second, he would end up giving me a worse look when we tell him” 

His voice cracked as he spoke, his breathing once again picking up as the tears finally fell as he blinked. Slowly you brushed his hair out of his eyes. 

“It’s not only your fault my love” you said, not even noticing the new pet name that escaped your lips. “I bear half of the responsibility in this situation, so you can’t just put it all on your shoulders alone, let me help carry it. Let me help you” 

Your words triggered something within him, making him cry harder as he shook his head. 

“You don’t get it,” he said with a raised and desperate tone. “You’re his sister, his blood, he has to forgive you, he needs you. But me? To him I’m a friend, and friends can be replaced. It doesn’t matter how much I view him, any of them, as my brothers, facts are that I lost mine, and trying to replace him with them, won’t matter because my feelings won't be reciprocated. But god! That doesn't mean I can take another loss of one” 

You heard a broken sob from Sunghoon who so far had been sitting silently. Jay hadn’t noticed his presence until he made the sound. It made Jay look away from you, finally finding the closest person in his life, broken by the words he had just spoken. 

“No, Hoon, I didn’t…” He began, his words sounding like a plea, they were as panicked as his eyes were, but he was quickly cut off as Sunghoon raised his hand to silence him. He stood up and was quickly sitting besides Jay on the couch. 

“Don’t you dare ever repeat, that your feelings of brotherhood won’t ever be reciprocated. Don’t you ever repeat it. I’m here, I’ve always been here and you won’t ever lose me. The fact that Heeseung has broken you to this extent with his words, makes me want to rip him apart. You’re not losing me, okay?” 

Jay could do nothing but nod at the question as Sunghoon took him into his arms, holding him close as they both cried in each other's arms. 

You felt like you had just been lucky enough to watch one the seven wonders of the world.  It felt like a privilege to be in the presence of the two of them as they declared their love for one another. 

Sunghoon released one of his arms from his brother and pulled you into the hug, earning a laugh from all of you despite the mood being anything but funny. 

“Thank you both,” Jay whispered as he kissed your hair, making your heart skip a beat. 

His words resulted in all of you squeezing each other a little tighter. 

_______

Afterwards the three of you stayed in the living room, opening a bottle of red wine in hopes of lifting the mood a little. 

None of you knew when and if Heeseung and Jake would be home, and if you had to be honest, none of you really cared. If you were to be caught in this moment together, then so be it. 

“Is there anything you need Jay?” Sunghoon asked, long legs splayed out on the floor as the weight of his upper body rested on his arms. 

“If I’m being honest, I don’t really know what I need. I just know that I’m not really prepared to face either of them right now” he said with a smile that held anything but happiness. 

Sunghoon nodded, clearly agreeing with his statement. 

“Why don’t you come and live with me for a little while then?” You had said it before you had even thought it through, all you knew was that you wanted to help. The boys looked at you with big eyes. 

“Who? both of us?” Sunghoon said with a rather large high tone and you responded by nodding. 

“How would that work?” Jay asked curiously as he leaned closer to you, eyes suddenly hopeful for the first time that night. 

“Well I have a spare room that you could stay in together, or… only if you’re comfortable with it, you could stay with me?” Your voice was so low he practically couldn’t hear what you were saying, but he got the gist of it, and smiled fondly at you before pulling you into his lap, kissing your temple. 

“I would love to stay with you darling” he whispered in your ear, as goosebumps erupted on your skin as his breath tickled your neck. 

“Yeah no way in hell i’m staying with those two fuckers without you, so I’ll take the guest bedroom” Sunghoon said as he suddenly stood up, stretching his arms and legs before he drowned the last bit of wine in his glass, quickly looking at the empty bottle. “We should bring some of these, this is good stuff” 

“Where are you going?” Jay asked as he couldn’t help but laugh at his friends loyalty. 

“To pack! I’m not gonna wait for them to come home to inform them of my departure” he yelled as he walked down the hallway that led to his room. 

“Thank you darling, for everything you’ve done tonight” he said as he slowly brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes. 

“Always” you repeated once again, breath catched in your throat at the fondness his eyes held for you. 

His eyes darted back between yours until they finally found their resting place, on your lips. Jay took in a forced breath to calm himself before he put his hand on your neck, slowly pulling you towards him as his thumb caressed your cheek. 

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered as his blown pupils searched for an answer in yours. 

“Yes” you whispered back. 

He gave you his signature half smile before he pulled you even closer and finally met your lips with his. 

You felt every hair on your body stand up as he squeezed your neck with his long fingers, forcing you even closer to him as he smiled into your kiss. Your hands held onto the fabric of the t-shirt, clinging on to this reality, hoping that it wasn’t a dream. 

He pulled away far earlier than you’d like him to. He rested his forehead against yours as he smiled, laughing a little. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time” he said as he let out a shaky breath. 

“You should do it again then” you stated as your arms snaked around his neck, pulling him closer to you. 

“Your word is my command” he pushed you off his lab and down into the couch, body suddenly resting on top of yours as he lost himself in the softness of your plush lips. 

He slowly opened his mouth, tongue asking for permission to meet yours, and as soon as the two met each other, you both moaned, louder and more desperately than either of you would hope that you would. 

“You two better stop sucking each other's faces in public spaces or else I’ll find somewhere else to live” Sunghoon said, chocking you both. 

You instantly pulled away from one another, a blush painting both of your cheeks just to find Sunghoon leaned up against the doorframe, arms interlinked with one another as he smirked at your sudden panic. 

You rolled your eyes, as both of the boys laughed at your reaction. Jay got up rather quickly, almost earning him a dissatisfied pout from you. 

“I’ll go pack” Jay stated before almost running out the room. 

Sunghoon stood there for a while, just looking at you with a smile on his lips. He looked content, happy. 

“Thank you for coming tonight” He said with a low voice. 

“Thank you for inviting me” You said as you returned his smile. 

“You two are good together, I’m glad that he found you, despite all of it being a little messy” he said with apologetic eyes. You shrugged. 

“He’s worth it,” you answered, as Sunghoon nodded. 

And then you heard it, loud laughs from the hallway. Both you and Sunghoons smiles fated in a millisecond as you felt your heartbeat pick up as you heard one of them enter the code for the door. 

Jay had finished packing his bag in that exact second and stood with bags in hand as the two other men entered the apartment. 

You walked towards Jay instantly to grab onto his face, forcing him to focus his eyes on you, hoping that you, being close to him, wouldn’t make him spiral back when confronted with their presence. 

Sunghoon took a step to the side, covering most of you and Jay with his body, hiding the two of your silhouettes behind him. You could nothing but admire his loyalty and love for Jay. 

As Jake and Heeseung entered they spotted the bags next to Sunghoon first, and afterwards you, so close to their friend, so panicked, so utterly smitten by him, dispute him looking like a mess. Jay stood by your side, and their smiles instantly disappeared. 

“I was right,” Jake said, pain seeping through his words and on full display on both his facial features and in his body language. He looked like someone had removed all happiness from his life and he felt like it too, he felt his heart break because of your very public display of affection. The two of you didn’t even try to hide it from him, and for some reason that hurt him even more. 

You saw the tears once again returning to Jay’s eyes, and as one fell you whisked it away with a finger before giving him a peck on his lips. 

“I’ll text you the code, you go ahead” you whispered to him.

Jay took his bags that he had dropped on the floor and nodded. His eyes were locked to the ground, afraid of how he’d react if he met the eyes of his just returned brothers. 

“You can’t even look at him?” Heeseungs words were cold, almost mocking, and it was all it took for Sunghoon to explode as soon as the door had shut behind Jay. 

In the blink of an eye, he took a few long strides and had caught his older brother's shirt, throwing him against the nearest wall, shocking every single one of you. 

“Sunghoon what the fuck are you doing?!” Jake yelled at the man, as he in his drunken state tried to pull him off his best friend, but to no avail. 

“Do you have any idea what your temper tantrum did to him? Huh?!" Sunghoon yelled, his face so close to Heeseung's, their noses almost touched. Heeseung looked shocked, where as Sunghoon looked like he wanted to set his brother on fire. 

“Sunghoon calm down” Heeseung said as he held up his hands in defeat. 

“Hoon” you called out to him, hoping that the sudden sound of your voice would be enough to pull him from the rage and to let his brother go. Luckily for Heeseungs pretty face, it was. He pulled away from him, anger still raging through his veins. 

“Since when are the two of you the best of friends?” Jake said with a scoff as a tear fell from his eyes. 

It seemed like he wanted to continue that trail of thought, but he changed his mind as soon as Sunghoon suddenly focused his attention on him instead of his older brother. 

“You need to calm down Hoon” Heeseung then said, which only reminded Sunghoon about what he had done, and then he lost his temper again. 

“He had a full on panic attack, he was just as broken as when he lost his brother. Because to him he had just lost two, all because of you and your stupid ass words. God you’re such dick!” Sunghoon yelled, as he paced in front of Heeseung, looking like a lion about to pounce on its prey. 

“And I’m so sorry that I sent him back in that headspace Hoon, I would never want that for him. But I just can't stand by as he treats my best friend like that” 

You knew what would happen before he had finished his sentence, and before you knew it, Heeseung was once again smashed up against the wall. 

“Do you think that I’ll just stand by when you treat mine like he’s no more worth than the dirt on the bottom of your Louboutins?! I have already lost one love of my life, I’m not losing the other because you feel justified in how you speak to him!” 

Sunghoon, once again let go of Heeseung, and walked towards you and grabbed his bags from the floor. “Come on Y/N, let’s go home” He laid the pressure on the word home, informing the others that, that was no longer here. 

You sighed and walked out the door behind Sunghoon, grabbing one of his bags. Luckily Jake and Heeseung didn’t try to stop either of you for leaving. 

The elevator ride to your apartment was a silent one. 

“I’m sorry you had to witness that,” Sunghoon said with his head rested against the metal wall. 

“Witnessing the love you have for him shouldnt trigger an excuse” you stated as he met your eyes. 

Sunghoon smiled. “You know I always feared this, him meeting someone that is… I’ve always been so afraid that whoever he ended up with wouldn’t get me, him, us. But somehow you just do” 

His eyes were blank but grateful, and his features were painted with astonishment. 

“You’re his brother Sunghoon, his first love. How could I not get that” 

It didn’t take him long to swoop you up in his arms, hugging the life out of you, leaving you almost breathless as the doors of the elevator opened. 

“Thank you” he said as he once again returned you to the ground, as you took a deep breath. 

You pressed the code into your door as you heard a loud bang down the hall. As the doors to the stairwell swung open, Jake came running down the hall, calling your name. 

“You go ahead, I don’t think you’re needed in this conversation” you said, eyes never leaving your brother. 

Sunghoon nodded and disappeared behind the now closed front door. Quickly accessing the ring camera to the hallway, ready to spy on your conversation with your brother. 

“Hoon what the hell are you doing?!” Jay whisper yelled as he ran towards him. 

“She saw me kick my brother's ass, I’m just returning the favor!” He whisper yelled back as Jay sent him a judging look. “Oh shut up! Don’t tell me you aren’t curious as to what she might say” 

“Fine!” He yelled! “But at least move over, I wanna watch too” it reminded them both of when they were young, spying on their family members, well if they were being honest they mostly spied on Heeseung and his friends.

And the timing was perfect because Jake had just entered into the camera's vision. 

“How?” He asked her, voice strained, eyes empty for any kind of emotions. 

You gave him a puzzled look. “Are you serious right now?” You answered. 

“Just answer the question Y/N!” He said, this time with a raised voice. 

“We met in the library after you introduced us. We talked, he reached out on Instagram and then we became friends, but I liked him. I liked him from the day I spilled my coffee on him. And luckily for me, he liked me too” you finished as you shrugged with a little smile displayed on your lips. 

“That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna give me? That you like him?” He asked, his voice mocking with a tone that sounded similar to disgust. 

“What do you want me to say to justify it? That he inspired me to draw again, inspired me to pick up the one thing I love that I had left behind in Sydney? That when he hugged me at the gala he lit my soul on fire? That when I heard him laugh for the first time I was transported to heaven? That he makes every day spent with him amazing and every bad day better?” Your voice picked up as you stated your reasons, hoping that he would somehow get it. 

Sunghoon pushed Jay lovingly behind the door, watching as he smiled at your confessions. She’s amazing. 

Jake just shook his head. “I can’t believe you could be this selfish,” he said, voice small as tears streamed down his face. 

“Selfish? I tried to stay away, I tried to convince myself that it would be for the better, but why should I be unhappy just so that you could be content?” You yelled out. 

“Do you love him?” He asked, the question surprising you a little.

“Of course I do, how could I not Jake?!” 

He bit his lips as he ran his hands through his hair and turned around to walk away; but something made him change his mind. 

“No, you know what? You are selfish, this has nothing to do with anyone but you. Of course you don’t love him. But you needed a backup in case you failed, because god forbid that Sim Y/N had to live a humble life. Hell that’s why you stayed with dad in Sydney isn’t it? And then you come here when you didn’t get what you wanted from him, and you took a pick of the litter, and what do you know? You picked the one with the biggest empire, how fucking convenient for you!” 

His words ripped out your heart, breaking it into a million pieces. Did he really think so little of you?

“You really are your fathers son” you said, voice small as your tears streamed down your blushed cheeks. Your sentence shattered him instantly. What did I just do?

You felt how your knees were about to break beneath you, and just as they gave up, the door flew open and Jay stood there, his arms around you, holding you as you broke down in his arms. 

“You need to leave,” he said to Jake, his voice as cold as ice. And it sent shivers down your spine and you thanked the gods that you weren’t at the receiving end of his words. 

“Stay out of this Jay, this doesn’t concern you” Jake said angrily, almost spitting his words out. 

Jay sent you the sweetest of smiles, as he handed you over to Sunghoon who stood ready to receive his love.  

Jay then shut the door after himself and pushed Jake out of the frame of the ring camera, forcing you to be left without any way to overhear their conversation. 

“You. Don’t. Talk. To. Her. Like. That.” He punctuated his words and took a stride towards his friend, forcing him down the hall, further away from you. 

“Dude fucking chill” Jake said once again in a tone that just didn’t sit well with Jay. 

“You have no idea what she’s been through after you decided to leave her behind, none of us do, but you don’t get to throw accusations around about her, about me and definitely not about our relationship” Jay stated your brother down, almost grinding his teeth in anger. 

“I get that you're hurt, and I get that you're mad, but you don’t get to attack without any merit because of that. She’s your sister! You’re supposed to love her, protect her, have her back. But I gotta say you’ve failed miserably. She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and she holds the key to my heart. So don’t worry, I’ll take her off your hands now, I’ll be her protector from this moment forward” His hands were in fists, and to any outsider it would’ve looked like he was ready to pounce at any minute. 

Jake stood completely speechless. He didn't know exactly what he wanted out of his confrontation, he couldn’t remember why he had run after you in the first place but it wasn’t for this, he knew that much. He had somehow managed to alienate three of the most important people in his life in one night. How would they ever recover? 

“Jay…” He said, voice suddenly small. 

“You don’t talk to me, and you definitely don't talk to her. At least not for a while” he said as he interrupted him, leaving Jake even more desperate to redeem himself. 

“I didn’t… I would never…” he tried again. 

"Yeah? Well you did, and now we all have to live with it” Jay said as he turned on his heel, once again on his way to you. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he fell to his knees as he kept repeating the sentence as a prayer. 

The elevator doors opened, revealing Heeseung behind it, and as he heard Jake's sobs, he almost threw himself on Jay in pure anger. Jay, being more sober than him, quickly managed to avoid the attack, leaving him to plummet into the wall behind him. 

“What the hell did you do to him Jay?!” Heeseung yelled after him. 

“Nothing,” he said as he pointed towards him. “He did that to himself”

Jay quickly let himself into your apartment, leaving the two boys to fend for themselves. 

“Did you kick his ass?” Sunghoon asked with a smirk as Jay entered the apartment. 

Jay shook his head as he smiled. “No, but I told him to stay away” he shook his arms desperate to get the adrenaline to leave his body. 

“I put her to bed, she’s just laying there… Your bags are in her room” he said as he laid a hand on Jay's shoulder. 

“Thank you Hoonie, for everything you did tonight” Jay said as he pulled him in for a hug. 

“Anytime, sleep well okay?” 

Sunghoon didn’t wait around for a reply, but instead hurried into your guestroom, glad the day had finally come to an end. 

Jay looked nervously at your bedroom door, he didn’t know what state to expect you to be in. But you had been so strong for him, so now it was his turn to be the same for you. 

He entered the dark room, turning on the small light that stood on your bedside table. Illuminating your face, and revealing your red eyes to him. 

“I’m sorry” you whispered, starting a new round of sobs. 

“Shhhhh pretty girl, shhh… It’s okay, you didn’t do anything okay? Let me take care of you” he said with a voice as sweet as honey, all the while he laid beside you on the bed, pulling you close to him, while he was stroking your hair. 

“No, but you’re the one who was sad, I should be the one to protect you” you said, looking up at him. He helped you remove your hair from your face as strands of it had decided to cling to your tear stained cheeks. 

“I know, but now it’s my turn to protect you okay? Can you let me do that darling?” 

You nodded, his words unleashing more tears. The two of you laid there, in eachothers arms until you could see the light starting to shine through the curtains, morning announcing it’s arrival. 

It didn’t take long for you to calm down in his arms, the sound of his heartbeat reassuring you that he was indeed there, that he didn’t leave despite your weakened state. As if he could feel the gratitude seeping through you, he kissed the top of your head, and soon he had kissed his way to your lips, down your closed eyelids, your nose and your cheeks. 

His kiss was calm, gentle, every single one of them piecing your heart back together. And as he pulled away he tucked you under your duvet, covering your both before he confessed. 

“I love you” he whispered. 

You could do nothing but smile and kiss him deeply. 

“I love you too” you whispered back. 

He smiled, his eyes shining like stars. “Does this mean that you’re mine?” he asked as his thumb drew circles on your hip. 

“I’ve been yours for a while, my love. But I’m ready to make it official if you are” 

He kissed you once more before he pulled the duvet over the two of you. And It didn’t take you long before you drifted into a deep sleep. 

________________

₊ ⁺ note: IT'S HERE!! God I cant belive it. I really really hope you loved this chapter, i know i did. please let me know what you think <3 absolutely adore every single one of you who reads my stories.

₊ ⁺ Taglist: @addictedtohobi @deobitifull @blackhairandbangs @eclipse-777 @luvnicho @aerivrs

[boo8008]

Three Months - Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Fem!Reader

Prologue | Chapter 01: Quadriller | Chapter 02: Mince

Notes: Its been one year since The Bear's soft open, and with everything running smoothly, Carmen's lost in his thoughts, until the final table of the night is seated.

Warnings: angst | fluff | ghosting mention | mentions of suicide | language | mental health | pining | unrequited love????? | substances (alc & weed) | overdose | yelling | grief | descriptions of panic attacks| eventual smut

Notes: This is my first time really writing so let me know what you think, I'm probably gonna do more just for me. If there's something I should add/remove from the tags please let me know. I hope you enjoy :)

A year after their soft open, The Bear is like a well oiled machine, working perfectly as Richie calls out the orders and their corresponding tables. Carmen’s on auto pilot as he works, doing his best to not think about where he was this time last year: breaking down in the walk-in and subsequently breaking up with Claire. If you can even call it a break up, he still isn't sure if they were actually dating. 

He’s pulled from his thoughts as Fak enters again announcing the final table of the night was just seated. Almost from memory Richie calls out your name and party of one, doing more than trowing Carm from his thoughts; practically gut-punching him through the thick metal wall of the walk-in with memories of New York, not the asshole of an executive chef he worked for but of the calm and blissful three months he had from December to February with you. 

Before his life got uprooted. 

Before The Beef. 

Before Mikey…

He’s brought back as Richie yells at him before he looks up at him, looking at his face.

“Cousin, you good?”

“I’m fine.”

“You don't look fine, chef.”

“I’m fine.” Carmen insists again.

Richie rolls his eyes as he returns to calling out orders for a moment.

“You look like your gonna throw up,” Sydney mutters.

“I’m fucking fine, Jesus fuck,” Carmen snaps. Stoping his task as he looks up to Sydney then Richie, whose still scribbling something down.

“Take five chef.” Richie says, still not looking up.

“Richie, I said-”

“It wasn't a request Carm.” Richie finally looks up at him, ever sense that test night a year ago, and when Richie started wearing suits, hes been more final in his input. Telling and suggesting and researching rather than just complaining. Fuck he even learned to do more prep properly to help out on the busier nights. Why Richie even stayed after that night he isn’t sure, the shit he said was fucked. He wouldn't have blamed him, Syd, or anyone else for walking out on him if they did. 

“Syd take over for Carm, Tina for Syd, and Alex for Tina; Carm needs a sec.” If the uniformed call of “Yes Chef” from the kitchen doesn't do it, the sudden movement of the kitchen to function without him more than solidifies it. Carmen’s taking five wether he wants to or not.

Not wanting a repeat of a year ago, Carm takes to the office instead, seeing Sugar seated at the desk looking at paperwork, all shes been relegated to now that shes just had little Mikey. A name Carmen was surprisingly happy to approve of when Pete brought it up to the two of them, asking if it was okay. Nat had nearly bawled her eyes out thanks to the combination of pregnancy hormones and the normal grasp she had on her emotions compared to Carmen.

“You look like your gonna throw up,” she says, glancing up from the papers before her. A half hearted fuck off is all she gets in responce as Carmen flops back on the soft leather couch in the office. She tosses him the pepto before she turns to sign something.

“You wanna talk about why Richie kicked you off?” she asks, her back still turned.

“It’s nothing,” he says before taking a swig of the pink liquid as he sits up and faces her.  

“It’s not nothing if you look like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like that,” she says turning and gesturing vaguely at him. “Like you just found out Santa isn’t real or some-fucking-thing.” Carmen shakes his head avoiding her gaze and looking out the door with a huff. Crossing his arms trying to end the conversation. It wasn't that he never wanted to talk about it, he did. He just didn't have the time. 

The last time he had told any one about you, he had talked to Mikey about how awkwardly ended things with you. Mikey told him not to be a jagoff after hearing his rant. That was almost a week before he died. It became easier to not think about you because it always led to thoughts of Mikey. How Carm should have known or should have talked to him more about how he was, how the beef was doing, how ma and Natilie were, if there was anything Michael wanted to get off his chest or was stressed about or something other than Carmen's girl problems.

Then Carm had to worry about selling his apartment in New York, quitting his job, getting an apartment here and moving, running The Beef, which was its own massive undertaking, turning it into The Bear and worrying about Claire, dishes, codes, tests, money that was likely tied to the mob via Uncle Jimmy, chefs, the building, new hires, the test night and the the dreaded walk-in he had to thank for letting him rant until he talked out of his ass and fucked up his personal life even more.

“Fine whatever avoid it if you want but thats not going to make it any better,” Nat huffed out, rolling her eyes as she turned. Carmen knew she was right, but that didn't make it any easier. But if the Al-Anon meetings had taught him anything it was that talking about it did actually help. 

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, leg bouncing with the nerves of from trying to find the words he wanted to say.

“When I was in New York,” he started, already feeling a nervous sweat breakout on his face, back, and hands. “There was this girl…”

[otmaaromanovas]

On the night of 16-17 July 1918, the Romanov family, faithful attendants, and pet dogs were murdered in a small basement in Ipatiev House, Ekaterinburg.

The Tsar, Tsarina, and their five children, Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia, and Alexei were killed alongside their attendants, chef Ivan Kharitonov, doctor Yevgeny Botkin, maid Anna Demidova, and footman Aloise ‘Alexei’ Trupp. Tatiana and Anastasia’s beloved dogs, Ortipo and Jimmy, were also killed.

Another member of the entourage who volunteered to join the Romanovs at the Ipatiev House was Alexei’s sailor nanny Klimenty Nagorny, who, after protesting against guards confiscating the thirteen-year-old boy’s chain which held religious icons, was removed from the house and executed. His arrest was observed by Alexei’s foreign tutors, who had been separated from the family. Rather than give them up, Klimenty remained quiet. Other attendants were arrested and later murdered after arriving in Yekaterinburg; Ekaterina Schneider, Anastasia Hendrikova, Ilya Tatishchev, Vasily Dolgorukov, and Ivan Sednev.

The only survivor of the murders at Ipatiev House was Alexei’s dog Joy. The dog, who was referred to in letters as being blind, was found running around the abandoned house and street days later, hungry, thirsty, and confused. Joy was rescued and taken to England.

Weeks later, the children’s languages tutors Pierre Gilliard and Sydney Gibbes entered the basement to find torn up floorboards and blood-splattered walls. The pair contributed to the Sokolov Investigation into the murders, providing and also protecting key evidence.

The Romanov family, alongside their attendants, have been canonised as Martyrs and Holy Passion Bearers in the Orthodox faith. 106 years later, we remember.

All background photographs show the interiors of the Ipatiev House taken for the Sokolov Investigation: the basement, family bedrooms, Demidova’s room, backyard door, and exterior.

[morganaspendragonss]

shouting lord give me a sign

happy finale day! 🥲 as if i needed another reason to be depressed

title from end of the world by lucy spraggan

ao3 | 554 words | owen-centric, grief

It occurs to him, as he sits alone in his office, that there really is no one for him to call. He thinks about trying Sydney, but he hasn’t spoken to her or the girls much since Robert died. Birthday and holiday wishes, yes, but nothing beyond that. Nothing real.

He could call New York, tell them we might not be able to take the job after all, but of course they’ll know already. He can picture them now, scrambling to stop the Times story from running, and it makes him chuckle even in the face of all this.

But everyone else, everyone he cares about and loves – they’re all here, within these walls. He can see TK, hunched over and phone pressed to his ear, from where he’s sitting; Nancy and Mateo are quietly embracing in a corner; he knows Paul and Marjan and Judd are similarly sequestered.

And Owen is here, alone.

Because, when it comes down to it, the only person he can think to call – the only person he would ever think to call – in a time like this is Gwyn. She was his rock, even in the years following the divorce when they could barely share a room without fighting, and much as he’s tried to fill her void with girlfriend after girlfriend, he knows now that it was never possible to find someone to match her.

She was the love of his life, and his biggest mistake was letting her go.

His finger hovers over the contact he’s never been able to bring himself to delete, and he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t been tempted to press it over the years. To text her or let the line ring until her voicemail comes through; to pretend that she’s in China or Japan or in some important meeting and she can’t answer. He’s never done it yet; he’s too afraid that the confirmation of no reply will shatter the illusion he’s built up for himself.

Unconsciously, his thumb drifts down and then the phone is ringing, and Owen knows he should hang up but it’s the end of the world goddammit.

So he brings the phone to his ear and waits with bated breath for her voice to tell him to leave a message.

“Hello?”

It’s a man’s voice, about as far removed from Gwyn’s as possible. Still, Owen gasps and holds the phone ever tighter.

“Hello?” the guy calls, irritated now, but Owen can’t answer him with anything other than his shaky breaths. He should have known; of course they would have given her number away by now, it’s been years, but it still hurts in a way he didn’t expect that this imagined connection to her is now gone.

The guy mutters something about fucking prank calls and cuts the line, and Owen lets the phone slip from his hand as he shoves away from his desk and turns his back to the windows. He can’t chance anyone glancing up and seeing him; he can’t be the one to break down when what they need is strength.

But, god, Owen misses her.

He breathes through the sobs and looks up to the ceiling, imagines the asteroid crashing through it and obliterating him.

And he imagines opening his eyes and seeing her again, and it’s enough.

[letstalktea]

You are so small

Content: Eldritch!Jordan x Reader, implied Sydney x Reader, chastity belts, Word Count: 2.6k

It was supposed to be a quick job, if not easy. Find the key for yours and Sydney’s chastity belts that Jordan must have been hiding so you could remove them and finally do what you two had been craving for weeks. You were both at your wits end and Jordan was unconvinced to give you both the freedom you sought, so you offered to sneak into the back and find where he hid the key holding you hostage. It would be simple for a pickpocket of your caliber once the lights went out and everyone was tucked away for the night.

You were expecting to find a few baubles and trinkets from years ago stashed away where they had been forgotten and left to gather dust, maybe a habit or robe in some storage closet (since the church seemed to have so many) before finally finding whatever room or office Jordan used to hide his keys.

What you were not expecting was to find someone wandering around the backrooms of the church in the dead of night. And, to be fair, you didn’t find someone, but rather something. Something that stood in the shadows of the open door frame and turned to stare directly at you the moment you gasped in shock.

It wasn't one eye but many peering through you from within the darkness. It wasn't one voice but that of the unknowable universe echoing around you as it opened its massive maw. It wasn't one set of fangs that you were staring at, but an infinite row of razor-like teeth so grand they put mountains to shame, all reaching so far back into the giant void of its mouth that they faded away into nothingness. It wasn't saliva dripping from the roof of that cavernous mouth, but acid and bile that felt like it would melt you to nothing simply by beholding its majesty. It was the very walls surrounding you and the floor on which your feet stood. You were already being consumed by it.

You dared not move for fear the creature – whatever It was – would stir at the slightest twitch of your fingers or the beads of sweat falling along your brow. Instead, you simply stared unblinkingly at something you knew deep down that you were never supposed to even imagine existed.

It screeched something horrible, like a window being broken in the middle of the night when you're home alone. The sound wasn't a language, not even a simulacra of one, but an emotion so pure and ancient that you couldn't begin to think of the words to encapsulate it. It was fear and wonder and pain and devotion all knotted and twisted together; all burrowing into your head and tearing apart your mind until It made a spot for Itself.

You curled in on yourself, making your own body a shield against something you didn't understand or comprehend. But an incompetent shield could barely be said to protect the treasure held within. Your mind was flooded with beautifully terrible thoughts that tore you to shreds before putting you back together in all the wrong ways. And in that cacophony of disparate pieces shoddily stitched back together, you could feel its teeth digging into whatever it was that made you who you were and refusing to let go of the prey it had found.

“What are you doing?” A voice, one that was human and familiar to you, asked. “You aren’t allowed back here.”

You raised your head from under your arms, opening a single eye to peek at Jordan – without his cowl, hair braided down his back, and dressed in a long thick nightgown – looking at you with a mixture of disappointment and concern that you could only see by the grace of the candlelight in his hand. You quickly darted your head around in an attempt to find the creature that you had just beheld, but it was nowhere to be seen. The only things in that backroom, aside from a few old knick knacks and random crosses hung on the wall, were you and Jordan.

"I was just…" You couldn't think of an excuse, not when the image of that thing was still dancing like a shambling corpse in your head. "You saw that, didn't you?"

If you didn’t have an excuse, then changing the subject would have to do. Or, rather you needed to confirm that you hadn't just seen what your mind was refusing to believe.

"I saw you sneaking around where you shouldn't be." He sighed with a deep frown, but his eyes were pitious as they looked at you. "You must have gotten lost, because someone as godly as you wouldn't break the church's rules so flagrantly. Allow me to help you find your way." 

He held his hand out to you and you mindlessly took it so he could help you to your feet and pull you forward. His skin felt frigid, like walking on ice with bare feet, but you kept a hold of him because it felt like the only option you had.

The direction he led you was different than the one you'd come from, as if you were being brought deeper into the back.

You were about to ask him where he was leading you as he opened a door you didn’t recognize, but he spoke before you could process the thought. "You never answered me. What are you doing back here?"

"I was looking for something and got lost." A half-truth was the best bet in this case. 

"Oh? And what were you looking for?" 

His voice sounded strange as it chewed its way through your mind and ripped an answer out of you like a hungry predator. "I was trying to find the key for mine and Sydney’s belt."

Your hand shot up to cover your mouth, unsure why you had told him the truth.

He hummed as if processing what you said as he walked down the hall with you in tow. "You and Sydney? I would have expected more from you two. You're usually so devout.” He paused. “Although, Sydney has been acting rather strange since you two began to spend time with one another. I wonder why that is.”

You shrugged your shoulders, hoping he couldn’t see the guilt written across your face. It wasn’t your fault that Sydeney was so repressed that every tap of your fingers against his desk filled his head with lewd thoughts. It was your fault that you encouraged those lewd thoughts though.

“Don’t feel so embarrassed,” he said as he went through yet another door. “You’re both young. It’s natural to be curious. The important part is that you don’t give into those base urges so readily. That’s why you wear that belt; to protect you from yours and others moments of weakness.”

“Well, we asked about removing them…” You looked around as you walked and talked. It was strange that you hadn’t reached the front yet. In fact, it felt like you were venturing further into the building.

“That’s your rashness speaking.” He opened another door that led to a room that was nearly empty aside from a desk. There were no other entrances or exits, not even a window. Jordan only used his candlelight to guide his way toward the desk and opened it with a dispassionate face. From inside he retrieved a small key. “But if you are so desperate to be free, I suppose I could make an exception.”

He walked back over to you, holding out the key for you to take.

You nearly snatched it from him, but he stopped you by pulling it back.

“I would like you to hear me out first. Then you can decide if you really want to do this.”

You pursed your lips, but nodded. He had the very thing you were looking for after all, and he was offering it wholeheartedly. It wasn’t as if he could say anything to change your mind since you only joined the church for the allowance anyway.

“Your belt connects you to the church, the very faith. Removing it is a personal choice, but you will lose your connection to this place. Your purity will be at risk.”

Considering what you were planning to do with Sydney, you hoped your purity was at risk.

You shook your head. “I know what I’m giving up. I’m willing to take those risks.”

“I see. Then perhaps you are ready.” He grabbed your hand and dropped the key into your palm. Then he held the candle out to you and you, without thinking, took it from him.

It was almost shocking how easily he gave in.

Without warning, he dropped to his knees before you. He pulled your shorts down so that he could see your chastity belt latched carefully into place.

“Huh?” You gasped in shock.

“Sorry. I’m trying to help. You can’t keep the belt, after all, so you have to take it off now. If you’re uncomfortable, you can blow out the candle. That should allow you to keep some sense of shame.”

You would much rather he not be pulling down your clothing, but that was the kind of town this was. At least it was Jordan, who was seemingly so afraid of any amount of nudity that he usually covered himself from head to toe. Of all the people in this town, he was the one you were least afraid of.

It was still weird to have him looking at you though.

“Will you be okay without the lights?” You asked.

“Will you?” He replied.

Considering you broke in without them, you were sure you would be okay for long enough to take off the obtrusive belt that had quickly become the bane of your existence.

You blew out the candle.

As soon as the light was out, Jordan’s image blurred, splitting and refracting until thousands of copies of him filled your vision. And of those copies, each and every one glared at you. You were the sole target of his uncountable amount of eyes.

“Can you hear me? See me?” He asked with many voices and you shuddered. “Good.”

You felt something warm and sticky lap at the junction of your thigh where your skin met the metal of the belt. You shivered at the sensation even though it felt like lava.

"You're mine. Both of you," he whispered and your head swam with beautiful nightmares. "No one else may touch my flock but me. Not even you may have each other."

Your legs went weak at the sound of his voice, which filled the air around you and bounced off each wall until it found your ears and burrowed deep into your brain. Your mouth opened and closed as you tried to find the words to speak, but how did an insect speak to a god? You couldn't figure it out.

"You are both precious to me and your time will come, but don't rush. For now, you two are better when you long for one another but cannot touch the way I can." He ran his long tongue over the outside of your belt and it felt like your sex was on fire. "It makes you taste all the sweeter when you finally give over your devotion in exchange for release."

Even though he was on his knees before you, it felt like he was towering over you; it felt like he was smiling down at you with dripping fangs ready to chew you up and spit you out; like you were nothing before him.

"I'll ask again: what are you doing here?"

The part of you that was infected wriggled in joy so powerfully that it forced a smile onto your terrified face. "I came to commit a sin, but now I only wish to repent." You dropped the key from your hand, tears streaming down your cheeks as you spoke words that you didn't understand but felt were true. How could you not weep with joy when you'd just seem the face of God?

"Precious Child," Jordan – or the thing calling itself Jordan – said, "you are already forgiven."

He kissed the lock of your chastity belt and it felt like it was melting directly into your skin. It wasn't just a tool to keep away the town's lecherous perverts but a part of you – a part of him just as the church walls were. It was a divine edict given to you by your god.

“You and he have your parts to play. Do not rush ahead or try to break free. You will both be free to love each other as soon as you understand who you adore first and foremost.” He rose to his feet, pulling up your shorts as he did. All his terrible eyes and his granious voice burrowed into your muscles and tendons and joints. “Who do you love?”

“You.” The words felt natural as you spoke them. “Only you.”

He held your cheeks with tenderness as his fingers – if you could call them that – scraped across your eyes and brushed away your sight. Whatever holy abomination you had seen in him was quickly moved into your periphery – just out of sight enough to be out of mind, but still visible enough to make you jump when you thought you saw it moving.

The wobbly feeling in your legs finally became overpowering and threatened to drag you to the ground. Or, it would have if Jordan hadn’t been there to catch you.

Now all that was left was his smiling face, framed by specks of golden blonde hair and blue eyes that seemed to stare in your direction but not truly looking at you. His disingenuous smile made your heart flutter, as if it was meant only for you when you knew that it was simply a nicety that had become permanently etched into his face.

“You seem to be falling asleep on your feet. I’m not surprised given how late it is.” He helped steady you on your feet and turned you around to face the front door – when had you gotten here? – “It was wonderful to see you, but perhaps next time you should come during the day. I’d be happy to speak to you after you attend tomorrow’s – or, today’s – sermon. You will be there, won’t you?”

It felt like worms were crawling through your brain listening to him, but you couldn’t reject his request. It felt wrong to do anything but exactly what he wanted. “Of course I will.”

“Wonderful. I’ll be waiting for you. Maybe Sydney too?”

Alarm bells rang in the back of your mind, warning you that something was wrong with what he had said; telling you not to bring this up to Sydney; screaming at you to leave him out of whatever dark hole you had unknowingly found yourself stumbling into. But your rational mind couldn’t understand that misplaced fear.

“I’m sure he’d love to.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Jordan said. “I will see you then.”

“Yes. In the morning.”

As you began to walk away, through the darkness of the church hall, you swore you could see shadows shifting and twisting just out of the corner of your eye. But when you snapped your head toward the motion, all you could see was Jordan watching you head outside with a smile on his face because he knew you would be back.

You had no other choice – no other desire – anymore.