#enhypen sm au

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

⤥ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤥ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ||

A/N: and with this, the story of CH!HoonY/N ends. 🩵

if you've been with me since the beginning of this sm au, you know exactly just how much I've loved and enjoyed yet also struggled to work on this beautiful piece. It's definitely the one smau which took me the longest, mostly because life got in the way and i kept taking breaks in between but also because the pressure got to me at the end and i will gladly admit that. at the end of the day, i'm just human and i'm a writer, i'm someone who tried to cope using literature snd writing and when things got too much in all aspects of life, i just couldnt pour as much of my heart into this smau as i had initially intended to.

regardless of everything that has happened towards the end, i hope you guys still enjoyed it very much and mostly i hope you all know just how much i love and appreciate you all. the ammount of love, support but also immense patience i've received is something i will forever cherish and keep close to my heart. you guys are the best and i genuinely can't wait to start new journeys with you all by my side.

i will definitely be taking a bit of a longer break from smaus but dont worry! i will be eriting one shots and you guys know me, i can't stfu at all so stay tuned!!! i love you all so so so much. take care xx zadie 🤍

TAGLIST: @soonigiri @en-happiness @lhsvibez @dammit-jjk @heerinnie @primroselover @jungwon-xo @szkstay @lostwonderwall @hoonieluv @certifiedmoa @doodlelibrary @ikeuizm @kpoprhia @sleeping-demons @imtoanonymousforyou @lalalovejay @ineedsomezzz @xrr-s4sha @viagumi @electrobutterfly @mimikittysblog @blurryriki @heelcvr @wonkifangirl @joonzseoulmate @kwiwin @hoondiors @seuomo @zerasari @love-you-twice @aloverga @marz-mars @velvtcherie @niniissus @abrazosolorcereza @ddazed-lhs @acphengene @skz-streamer @kshoshi @tya0 @yizhoutv @jebetwo @myheelody @seokgyuu @blockbusterhee @luvkpopp @heeslut4life

[tofuhoon]

enhypen’s dating habits

genre: fluff warnings: none (i think)

masterlist

heeseung can’t help but keep his hands off of you. it’s not to say he’s always wanting something from you, but he just loves having that assurance that you’re by his side. he realizes this fact again every single morning when you wake up with your body pressed against his. whether it’s having you sat on his lap or fiddling with your hair, he enjoys having your presence in his.

jay’s love language is gift giving. he can’t help that whenever he sees anything beautiful in the slightest, it reminds him of you. he never gets tired of the glowing beam on your face when you receive your gifts. though you tell him to “stop buying me stuff, save your money,” the blush on your cheeks is enough to encourage his spending.

jake loves spending time with you. of course, all the boys do. but the way jake schedules out all his dates on his personalized calendar with pictures of you, decorating those days with hearts and stickers makes you truly know he cares. whether he’s walking layla or finishing up his work, there’s nothing that he wouldn’t rather do with you right next to him.

if there’s one thing about sunghoon, it’s that he’s always looking for you. whether it’s in a sea of people or a small gathering of friends, you are the only one in his viewpoint at all times. he doesn’t mean it to necessarily keep an eye on you, but his body just naturally gravitates to your direction. whenever he cracks a joke or does something cute, his eyes are laser-focused on your reaction only. 

sunoo doesn’t think he can go a day without resting his head on your shoulder. “it’s the perfect pillow!” he says, even when you try to convince him that a neck pillow might be a good investment. he will do this when he’s tired, when he’s having some chill time with you, or when he laughs and allows his body to ragdoll onto yours.

jungwon’s friends are tired of hearing of you. you’re great and all, but is there really nothing else going on in his life? that’s not true of course, but the way your name is stuck to his tongue, his friends are sure they know every detail about you. but jungwon can’t help that the dress in the store looks just like the one you wore on your last date, or that cat over there looks just like you. you’re constantly on his mind, and he doesn’t mind a bit.

niki’s playful side is one you’re very familiar with. still, he tends to shrink it down whenever you come near. it’s not that he thinks you’ll get annoyed (will you? he hopes not.), but that he wants to become someone you can rely on. his gentlemanly nature can be surprising for the others to see after he just threatened to dropkick jake, but your rosy cheeks make it all worth it.

[eunseok-s]

♡— enhypen!boyfriend calls you clingy — hyung line only

pairing: enhypen hyung line (ot4) x gender neutral reader | genre: angst | warnings: name calling, hurt, curse words

a/n: time to switch up these reactions and give you some good ol' angst. i also will only write for heeseung, jay, jake and sunghoon because that's what i'm comfortable with :)

main masterlist — part two - the break up

permanent taglist: @honeyhuii @soobin-chois @fylithia @enhacolor @ja4hyvn @maiverie @bambisgirl @hiqhkey @its-madi @bobariki @yizhoutv @joonsytip @l33j3n8 @nar-nia @lightprincess-world

networks: @kflixnet

[acphengene]

Darling - masterlist

₊ ⁺ pairing: Jay x fem!reader

₊ ⁺ genre: brothers bestfriend!au, college!au, neighbors/strangers to lovers!au

₊ ⁺ warings: mild angst, lowkey parent manipulation, sibling death, strong and suggestive language, smut

₊ ⁺ synopsis: you move from sydney australia to seoul to get your degree, what will happen when you spill coffee on a handsome stranger who turns out to be your brothers best friend?

₊ ⁺ taglist: open - updates every monday and friday - might update on other times if i want a chapter out sooner rather than later

₊ ⁺ profiles

₊ ⁺ part 1 - coming home

₊ ⁺ part 2 - iced americano

₊ ⁺ part 3 - loml

₊ ⁺ part 4 - in her hoe era

₊ ⁺ part 5 - see you soon

₊ ⁺ part 6 - need another beating?

₊ ⁺ part 7 - he's just street

₊ ⁺ part 8 - in denial

₊ ⁺ part 9 - how could i not?

₊ ⁺ part 10 - night of nights

₊ ⁺ part 11 - go on darling - written

₊ ⁺ part 12 - hangover cure

₊ ⁺ part 13 - the pussy eaters

₊ ⁺ part 14 - feminine rage era

₊ ⁺ part 15 - she stole my man

₊ ⁺ part 16 - curiosity killed the cat

₊ ⁺ part 17 - he's on to you

₊ ⁺ part 18 - possessive king

₊ ⁺ part 19 - spotted

₊ ⁺ part 20 - den of dysfunction

₊ ⁺ part 21 - your fathers son - written

₊ ⁺ part 22 - life in sydney

₊ ⁺ part 23 - thank fuck

₊ ⁺ part 24 - mama sim

₊ ⁺ part 25 - and they were roommates

₊ ⁺ part 26 - dining room table

₊ ⁺ part 27 - housewarming

[letters2won]

10 things I hate about you

02: jakelations

masterlist | backward | forward

SYNOPSIS ౨ৎ Lee Heeseung has it all, he’s captain of the soccer team, popular, charming and hilarious (at least in his eyes). What he doesn’t have though is a girlfriend OR a prom date making him desperate. You on the other hand want nothing to do with him or his silly problems, but how come you two are always clashing heads in the end?

TAGLIST < open > @eclipse-777 @saursoob @rosas-in-the-garden @enha-stars @rikizm @ramenoil @winuvs @semisemirin1i82 @positivelyinlovewithjungwon @hee-yunie @patchofblue @sincerelyrki @badaswifey @kaispulshies @hae-luvr @aespaslut @llvrhee @grah127 @manooffline @haechology @hajunzi @sunghoonsgff @jaeyunluvr @jentlecoeur @ak-aaa-li @cyberinnie @seiamor @rikimylove @thesassy-mia @hexoolio @eleanorheartschishiya @dimplewonie @autumn583 @jeongintwt @aerohmantics @miumiuestmoi @yoongisbaguetteshoes @isoobie @heeoao @letwiiparkjay @lowjilamoon @letmein2urheart @thatonedemigodfromseoul @scoupsworld @hrts4hees @splat00z | bold can’t be added

[hannie-dul-set]

#𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗙𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗢𝗥𝗬. resident slacker turned achiever overnight? what the hell happened!  it all started when the both of you got grouped together for a class presentation— you got your first unsatisfactory grade, and park sunghoon got his ego bruised for the first time. conflict is perpetual in all societal spheres. but when it’s two unhealthily competitive and prideful people gnawing at each other’s throats, conflict becomes all the more entertaining.

PAIRING. park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. social media! au, college! au, academic rivals to lovers, romance, humor. WARNINGS. excessive swearing, dirty/inappropriate jokes, kys/kms jokes, both sunghoon and yn need a lot of work on their personalities, obnoxious political science references and jokes (might add more as we go on).

TAGLIST. open! send an ask/dm/reply. STATUS. ongoing.

NOTE. haven't written an sm au in a hot minute but with my classes starting soon, i thought this would be the best way to keep my blog active while i slowly work on my longer fics. witness the unfortunate polsci-fication of the hyung line. hope you enjoy and always remember— engagement keeps this website alive!

profiles.

01 / a motherfucking B. 02 / scathing review. 03 / just war theory. 04/ playing dirty. 05 / nails out n shit. 06 / do you like it when she degrades you. 07 / bothered. 08 / humiliation kink. 09 / mouth duel. 10 / debate. 11 / praise. 12 / summa cum louder. 13 / no fucking way. 14 / homoeroticism in the tags. 15 / stinky hoon. 16 / why did you dare.

. . . more tba!

CONFLICT THEORY. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[hjinnie]

UNCALL, xx

sure, people aren't really aware of what they do when they have alcohol in their body, but how can you uncall your sunbaenim jake, unsleep in his bed and unwake up next to the very same boy, not very sure of what happened the night before? and how will you explain to your manager why the enhypen x lesserafim video scheduled for tomorrow has to be cancelled as soon as possible?

pairing: fuckboy!jake & idol!jake x nonchalant!reader & idol!reader ,, 

ft. enhypen & lesserafim!

fic type: social media au

genre: crack (A LOT OF IT LOL,, these ppl are crazy), fluff, idiots to lovers, one night stand (is it tho?)...

status: ongoing!

warnings: swear words, sex jokes?

taglist: open! send an ask to be added <3

please reblog so it'll get to other people!! 💓

profiles: veryfragile (we r unhinged.) , can u guys pls dont leave the gc

one: home girl deadass said away

two: what if you lick my head (written)

three: cha cha real smooth of a fucking cliff

[enha-hype]

maeumi & me - ch 24 : chocolate milk?

a/n : hello hello im back from the dead :3 don't forget to read the written chapter below! a lil recap as to where we were - in the last chapter, everyone came over to jake's place for a sleepover. this one continues from that.

As you go about your business, the rest of the house is dark and quiet, albeit for the boys softly snoring away in the two bedrooms.

“Can't sleep?”

You startle at the voice and whip around to find the source, and find Jungwon leaning against the fridge, squinting against the light. “Jeez, Won. How are you so quiet? You're like a ninja cat.”

“Not the first time I've been told that,” he chuckles, stifling a yawn.

“Shit sorry, I woke you didn't I?”

“Nahh. Been tossing and turning for a while, I can't sleep either,” he shrugs, then looking at Maeumi adds, “he looks like he's ready to pass out, though,”

You laugh. “Yeah. I kinda feel bad but he chooses to follow me around so there's nothing I can do about that.”

“Tell me about it. I can't even count the number of times I've gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and almost tripped over him on my way out. Also, what are you doing?”

“Um, making chocolate milk. You want some?”

He blinks, an amused smile breaking out, and nods. “Sure,” he says, sitting at the kitchen table.

“So. I guess it's been a little stressful managing work as well as the internship, huh?” you ask as you mix the ingredients together.

“A little. But I talked to the cafe manager today and he agreed to reduce my hours so I think it'll be better now.”

“Good. You better take care of your health from now on,”

“I will, if only because I don't want you coming over to give me an ass-whooping, which I strongly suspect you will do,”

“Oh I definitely will, Yang Jungwon.” You turn to give him a stern glare but almost immediately break into a smile. “You know, it's unfair that even bed hair looks attractive on you,” you blurt out before you even register what you're saying. Shit. You did not mean to say that out loud. You clear your throat, eager to change the subject. “Okay, it's almost ready!” you grab two glasses from the cupboard overhead and busy yourself with pouring the chocolate milk into them.

As you pour it into the second glass, you feel Jungwon come up close behind you and hold your breath. He reaches around, and for a second you stupidly think he's going to hug you, but he grabs the salt shaker from the counter, sprinkles a dash of it into both glasses and stirs. You feel heat rushing to your face – partly out of embarrassment and partly because of the proximity. You're not quite touching, your bodies are so close you can feel the warmth of his body behind yours.

“Tastes better this way,” he explains as he steps away. Why did you think he was going to hug you? That was crazy. Did you want him to hug you...? Or something else?

“Great! Let's go sit on the couch, shall we?” You grab both glasses and head to the living room before he can say anything. If he notices your sudden over-enthusiasm which is more or less a desperate attempt to diffuse the sudden awkwardness, he doesn't let on. But that's mostly because he himself is trying not to think too much into to your little compliment from earlier.

The light isn't on in the living room, so you hope he can't see how red your face is, but it's also not so dark that you can't see anything at all, since the light from the kitchen partially illuminates the room.

You hand him a glass, sitting a normal distance away from each other, trying not to think of why how near or far you're sitting from each other should ever matter. You both take a sip.

“Huh. Well what do you know, it does taste better this way!”

“I know!” Jungwon cries out a little too loudly and you shush him, giggling – you're too close to the bedrooms to even be talking at a normal volume, much less louder. “Oops,” he whispers, grinning.

You take another sip and hum in approval. Jungwon looks at you and snickers.

“What?”

He points at your face. “You have a milk-stache,”

You wipe it off with the back of your hand, a little embarassed. “Is it gone?”

“Nope, you missed a spot,” he reaches with his index finger, wipes at the area above the corner of your upper lip and then smears it on the tip of your nose, smirking.

You huff in disbelief. “Oh, you're in trouble now,” you reach for him and he reflexively swats away at you, causing some of your chocolate milk to spill onto the floor.

“Oh, no.” Both your eyes and Jungwon's dart from the splotch of brown liquid to Maeumi to each other. Maeumi starts to make his way over – no doubt to scrutinize and eventually taste it, and you and Jungwon immediately jump into action. You place the glass down on a stool nearby and grab Maeumi while Jungwon looks for tissues or the kitchen towel to soak up the mess. Maeumi squirms and whines in your grip, trying to break free. He barks, once. “Shhh! Shut up Maeumi, you know chocolate's bad for you!!”

“Where the heck is it??!” Jungwon whisper-shouts from the kitchen, opening and closing drawers.

Maeumi wriggles free and by God, those tiny legs are fast! Fortunately, Jungwon returns with a bunch of tissues and just as he rushes in to blot up the milk, you also swoop in to catch Maeumi, and although you are both successful, you also end up headbutting. The two of you exclaim in pain and then double over in bouts of laughter. Maeumi is so puzzled by this sudden chaos that he forgets all about his eager pursuit. You and Jungwon are still in fits, shushing each other and clamping your hands over your mouths lest you wake the others. When you finally compose yourselves and the muffled giggles give way to silence, you find your eyes darting to Jungwon's lips....they look so soft even in the dim light, and you wonder what it would feel like to kiss them. It's a ridiculous thought but it feels so natural you don't even question it at first and lean in almost involuntarily. To your surprise, you find him doing the same. Your heartbeat quickens as you briefly meet his eyes - is this really happening? Before you can give any more thought to it however, the light comes on. You jerk back and whip around to find Heeseung standing in the doorway, one hand on the switchboard and the other one shielding his eyes from the sudden brightness. There's a beat of silence as you all stare at each other.

“What is going on?” his voice is thick with sleep.

“Chocolate milk?” Jungwon offers with a sheepish grin, and that's enough to send you into a laughing fit all over again.

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[scented-morker]

Dtr

masterlist | next

written part followed by tweets!! Like 400 words? BIG TIME STUFF HERE THO

Sunghoon pulled his mask tighter on his face, ducking his head even though the crowd outside of PNation had mostly died down. There were a few photographers that snapped his picture even without recognizing him, but he ignored them as he hurried into the building.

His company could deal with that later. Right now he was focused on getting into the building and to you.

He checked the text you’d sent him earlier, directions to the studio you were in. Third floor, studio 6.

He bows politely at the front desk woman, who seems to recognize him.

“Good evening Sunghoon. Studio six is the first one on the right from the elevator.”

He thanks her, unsure how she recognized him or knew why he was here, but grateful for the directions anyway. You had said that the studio was the same one your ceo had worked in, so he was glad there would be no risk of accidentally walking into the wrong one.

When he finally makes it to the door of studio 6, he takes a deep breath and prepares himself for whatever is going to be on the other side. After seeing the news about your manager, he’s been trying to gauge your feelings and what you need.

He knocks three times before letting himself in, feeling himself perk up when he sees you spin around in the producers chair.

“Hoon!”

You squeal when he walks in, and he lets out a sigh of relief that you seem to be in good spirits. He was ready to comfort you, but was relieved that he didn’t have to see you upset.

“Hi yn,” he says fondly, wrapping his arms around you in a hug before joining you on another chair.

“Have you eaten? I ordered some takeout.”

He laughs, explaining himself when you raise an eyebrow, “this feels like the epitome of idol relationships,” he laughs, “I mean I know we’re not dating but the middle of the night meetup in the studio surrounded by boxes of takeout.”

You grin. “Maybe not the most romantic, but we can change one of those things…”

“What do you mean?”

You spin his chair towards your own, knees bumping into one another.

“Do you want to actually start dating? I was trying to be romantic with the picnic in the flower park, but that obviously didn’t work.”

“It’s not your fault, I don’t know what happened but it’s not your fault. And I couldn’t care less how you ask. Honestly I’ve been dating you in my head for the last three months and was just waiting for you to be ready.”

You laugh at his embarrassing confession, “you’re such a loser.”

He grins, showing off his fangs, “but now I’m your loser boyfriend.”

“That you are.”

He reaches out to wrap his hands around your waist and pull you onto his chair with him.

“Can your loser boyfriend kiss you?”

You absolutely beam at him, “he may.”

His kiss is sweet and gentle, and he hides his face when he pulls away- something you can’t help but giggle at as you ruffle his hair where his head is buried in your neck.

“Does my loser boyfriend want to help me write my new solo?”

He perks up at that.

“Solo? You’re having a solo? You’re off of hiatus?”

You grin, leaning in to kiss him again, “my company has quite a few things to announce next week.”

🏷 @chuubear @cosmicwintr @bigtoewinwin @beans-and-jeanes @bat-shark-repellant @ctrlemis @i-dubu @leiluvs @jwsflower @acciomylove @diestheticu @shinsou-rii @txtandroll @luvibot @jihyoscrown @jisyng @sim-kissed @stopeatread @maeum-your @igotkpoops @precioussoulofmine @a-noona-mous @prettysung @jiawji @fearmania @s4turnsl0ver @aki1e @eyinise @invusblog @xtra-cheese @homelycat @sserafimez @fairycheol @softpia @svn-slvt

[flytomyseoul]

TO BE BLUNT… | SJY smau

MASTERLIST

paring: college student! jake x casual stoner student! reader (feat. enha members + various other idols!)

synopsis: Heeseung finds a new smoking buddy and Jake takes a liking to her. In order to impress her, he finds a common interest which happened to be smoking. But the problem is that Jake has never smoked weed in his life, but hey there’s a first time for everything.

genre: crack, s2l, slow burn ish

will see when I update, depending on my schedule it should be daily or every other day.

warnings: mentions of drug use (weed!! weed!!), profanity, no underage use of weed in this, this is for my stoner girlies

THIS IS MY FIRST SMAU, IT WILL BE MESSY AND FILLED WITH ERRORS

CHAPTERS…

1. i can be that

2. i go bathroom

...

[carayat]

୨୧ through a lens — 5.1

synopsis ; hybe university is a school full of creativity, crushes, and chaotic evil energy. you try your best to navigate your 3rd year at hybeu, but unfortunately, you have no clue what's in store for you

pairings ; enhypen jake x fem! reader, bts jungkook x fem! reader, svt mingyu x fem! reader

an ; welcome back to through a lens!! i missed you all and i hope you'll enjoy reading this smau as it continues on

prev | m.list | next

taglist (open) ; @rich-man-v @jjikyuu @athousandandonefandoms @ksooed @y3jiishot @sungbeam @yunki4evr @niktwazny303

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 – 𝟒𝟒

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐘𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑: 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞

⤥ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤥ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔

⤥ 𝐰𝐜: 𝟔.𝟖𝐤

⤥ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐀 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲'𝐬 𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤.

“No fucking way!”

The exclamation of excitement reaches your ears before your brain can process the feeling of Jungwon’s weight basically falling onto your body as he wraps his arms around your shoulders and starts laughing in response to his birthday gift.

All you can do is join in on his laughter, tightening the hug and embracing the comfort it comes with.

“Thank you so fucking much”, Jungwon says and pulls away, the plane tickets firmly in his hands as he looks at you with big, excited eyes and his cheeks covered in the sweetest shade of pink.

“Don’t expect anything like this for the next five years, though”, you joke and embrace your adopted sibling into another tight hug, making sure to keep your eyes closed because the mere thought of meeting Sunghoon’s gaze makes your heartbeat double its pace.

There’s been this very significant yet subtle shift in the way he’s looking at you and although the two of you have been spending quite a bit of time around each other, you have yet to get used to it all. However, you’re in no way complaining about it because for the first time in almost a decade, you don’t feel this specific heaviness weighing on your chest whenever he’s around.

The past few weeks have definitely not been easy for you. No matter how healing and relieving the conversation with your brother about your past life choices was, you have yet to find the courage to face the one person you’ve been avoiding as much as possible lately, only for life to challenge you with his constant presence around you.

You still feel as attracted to Sunghoon as you did before the friendsmas dinner almost two months ago, maybe even more now that you’ve finally accepted the fact that you want him in many more ways than just sexually.

It definitely wasn’t easy for you to admit this to yourself and took you about three different and very lengthy conversations with your closest people but the longer you’ve thought about it, the more you’ve realized that there’s not really a point in denying your feelings any longer.

You want Park Sunghoon.

In the deepest bits of your heart you know no guy who’s entered and left your life has ever managed to even come close to him, but these are thoughts you’ve been a little more hesitant to explore. The thought of him becoming the one in your heart after years of hating him scares you, so much you’ve only ever said it out loud once to yourself in the darkness of your room after crying for hours over all the time you both won’t ever get back.

Park Sunghoon was the first boy to break your heart, yet even after all these years you’ve remained deeply in love with him. Some people might question your sanity, your mental and emotional wellbeing as well as your rational thinking, but to you it’s him. It’s always been him.

You have yet to figure out why exactly, but one thing you’ve always been subconsciously aware of is that your deep, vile hatred has always had its root in the pure, innocent love you’ve been carrying in your heart ever since he entered your life all those years ago.

There’s just something so special about him, which might be the reason why his lack of communication, his betrayal and the way he’s been treating you all these years hurts as much as it does.

You know there’s no point in wondering, guessing and imagining things when all you have to do is just talk to him, something all of your mutual friends have been very adamant about for the past few weeks (probably even years if you’re being fully honest to yourself).

But how come the only right way to finally receive all the answers and explanations to the question marks in your mind feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? Why is it this scary?

Maybe it’s because you’ve never felt this strongly about all the other men in your life, not even the ones you had convinced yourself to be in love with and maybe it’s because the possibility of things not working out in the end has already broken your poor heart into thousands of pieces.

Every time your eyes find their way to the ring on your finger, one of the most meaningful and sentimental gifts you’ve ever received, you remember that after everything, Sunghoon knows a part of you which you’ve been keeping locked away and protected for way too long. To him, you’re not just a friend, you never have been. To him, you’re you. You’re an individual, your own person. In moments where the whole world was expecting something from you, to be a certain way or do and say certain things, Sunghoon was the one to just sit back and watch, cheer you on from the sidelines because his trust in you was endless. He always knew you’d find your way through it all.

When you first started to have thoughts like these, it felt wrong because you thought you’d discredit your friends and their places in your life, their undying support and love, only to realize that of everyone you’ve ever known, Sunghoon was the first one to believe in you.

He was there when Riki was too young to even understand what was going on, he was there when you had nobody. He was the first one to stay.

The more your eyes meet, the deeper the desire to just be close to him, feel his touch on your skin and lose yourself in the comfort it comes with, runs and you can’t help but allow yourself to catch a tiny glimpse of him from the corner of your eye.

“Stop staring, you’re being so obvious”, Jaeyun suddenly whispers into your ear, the sheer shock of hearing his usually so soothing voice in the midst of your daydreams is enough to pull you back into reality, “he’s not being subtle either, I can’t believe y’all had us fooled for so long. No wonder you guys got to fuck next door, I would have never noticed if I was drunk right now.”

With your eyes widened in absolute disbelief you slowly turn your head to the side to look at your best friend only to realize just how close he is.

“That’s a little too close”, Jaeyun jokes smiles charmingly, knowing that there’s one person in the room whose sole attention has been on you for the past five hours, “I really really don’t want him to beat me up again so, meet me in the kitchen.”

“Again? What does that mean? Jaeyun, where are you–”, but you don’t get to finish your whisper shouted questions as he casually jumps onto his feet and suddenly disappears in the hallway, leaving you no choice but to do as you’re told.

With everyone’s focus remaining on each other, except for Sunghoon’s (of course), you slowly get up and make your way to the kitchen, your heart brutally hammering against your chest as you try to think of possible scenarios for the upcoming few minutes.

As soon as you close the door behind you, Jake’s lips stretch into a big smile, his eyes turning into little half moons as the excitement becomes evident in every single one of his facial muscles.

“What–”, “For the love of whatever or whoever you believe in, please just talk to him”, your best friend is quick to throw the reason for his request into your face and all you can do is look at him with raised brows and widened eyes.

“Don’t you dare look ag me like I’m the crazy one when you two have been eyefucking each other for hours and I had to witness it all because I promised not to drink and it’s actually awful”, Jaeyun rambles, his usually so relaxed expressions are drenched in confusion, his whole body language lets you know just how much this has been weighing on him and if it wasn’t for the things he just said, you would have actually felt bad for him.

It takes you a few moments to process everything he just dropped onto you, but as soon as your brain has managed to catch up, you can’t stop the huge mixture of emotions from hitting you in all the right places.

“Jaeyun, I don’t know if I’m ready”, you whisper and feel the tears announcing their arrival as they burn in between your eyes.

“That’s what you think”, Jake sighs and rolls his eyes, behavior you’re actually not used to receiving from your usually so soft spoken best friend, “you’re more than just ready for this, my dearest friend. You’ve actually been waiting for this conversation for over nine years. Please, stop running away from this, from him.”

Usually Sim Jaeyun leaves you speechless with the rather out of pocket things he tends to say in the most inappropriate moments, yet this time he’s managed to leave you absolutely shocked with his honesty.

You don’t know what to say, nor do you have any idea how to react or what to do, but in the deepest pits of your gut you feel genuinely relieved to hear your hidden wishes to be confirmed.

Knowing that Sunghoon’s behavior towards you isn’t just a fabrication of your wishful thinking has taken a huge weight off of your shoulders and for the first time in weeks, the fog in your head clears up and you allow yourself to push all those doubts, worries and worst case scenarios into the darkest corner of your mind and focus on what your heart actually wants.

“Okay”, you whisper and take a deep breath, “you’re fucking right.”

“Fuck yeah, I am! Let’s fucking go!”

Jaeyun is quick to burst into loud cheers and words of enthusiasm in response to your agreement and with a soft sigh you wrap your arms around his neck and quietly thank him for his support.

You’re very well aware that the past two months have been quite difficult for your best friends too, especially the boys. Navigating your as well as Sunghoon’s emotional state couldn’t have been easy for three of the biggest empaths you know and knowing that they’ve spent all this time looking for solutions and the right ways to approach these sorts of things is something you feel incredibly grateful for.

“I’m gonna send him to our place now”, Jake explains once you get yourself to let go of him, “give me fifteen minutes to distract these fuckers, send the love birds to Seung’s place and give you guys all the space and time you need..and deserve.”

With those words your best friend quickly rushes out of the kitchen, leaving you behind with nothing but hope and excitement in your chest.

“Hoo–”, “Stop yelling, I’m here”, Sunghoon quickly interrupts his best friend as he randomly appears on the other side of the hallway, not brave and shameless enough to eavesdrop, yet anxious enough to wait in close proximity.

“Batshit”, is the only thing Jake responds with as the shock of Hoon’s sudden presence sends shivers down his spine.

“What did she say? She hates me, doesn't she? She never wants to spend another day talking to me or even in my presence, does she? Tell me the fucking truth, Jaeyun”, Sunghoon nervously rambles and subconsciously wraps his hand around his friend’s arm, pulling him closer as the feeling of his lungs hyperventilating becomes too overwhelming.

The past two months have been something close to hell.

When Sunoo reminded him of Jungwon’s birthday a few days earlier, Sunghoon was shocked since he’s been mentally stuck on mid December, his brain constantly replaying the events of the friendsmas dinner to make sure he doesn’t actually forget about it.

Of course he’s spent most nights talking to his best friends to figure something out, yet even after all this time he has no actual plan on what to say, do or even think.

He’s already accepted the fact that he’s never actually stopped loving you. The realisation that behind his deep hatred for you was simply because of how much he’s loved you all this time was one of the hardest pills he’s ever had to swallow. Almost a decade of genuine denial later he’s found himself in a headspace he has never, ever experienced before and if it wasn’t for the boys trying their very best to keep him distracted, he would have lost his mind already.

Most of his days were spent at the gym and work, places he knew he wasn’t going to be in agonizing pain because of your presence and yet he’s always caught himself looking forward to practice day because it meant he’d finally get to be close to you again, even if you guys never talked about anything but the most necessary things.

Maybe it’s because of how ashamed he is for all the things he’s done and said to you in the past and maybe it’s because his heart actually can’t handle the constant pain pumping through his veins whenever he’s near you.

Never in his life has he wanted anyone as bad as you

At first, Sunghoon was convinced it’s because you’ve all he’s ever known but the more time passed, the more he realized that it’s because you’re his person.

He’s already accepted the possibility of not being yours and he knows he could never be angry with you if that was the case.

Sunghoon’s just…tired. Mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted of the constant pretending, the hate and anger, all the pent up frustration and not knowing where he stands with you. You guys used to be best friends only for life and that god awful human being of a stepmother to tear you apart and turn you into actual enemies.

The mere thought of what might have been if he had only received that letter and never had to force himself to hate you makes his heart ache.

All these years could have been spent making life decisions together, being there for the other when they needed it the most and all those hurtful words could have been avoided.

But Sunghoon has no choice but to accept that this is how things went and there’s absolutely no way to undo and unsay everything and if it wasn’t for his acceptance of the whole situation, he would have spent even more nights laying awake wondering why life had to make him go through all of this.

Why life had to make you go through all of this.

If there’s one thing Sunghoon’s gonna struggle the most to accept, it’s the fact that he didn’t get to be by your side to comfort and hold you during your darkest times. All the times where Riki knocked on his door to cry himself to sleep in his arms because he didn’t want to burden you were the times where Sunghoon was silently praying that one of the boys had thought of you as the mental image of you going through all of that pain by yourself was enough to torture him mercilessly.

You’re strong; stronger than anyone he’s ever met. You always find a way to survive and make the best of everything life throws your way, that’s just how you are. that’s how you’ve programmed yourself to be. No matter what or who, you always know what to do, say and how to make everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness for it.

Nobody has ever loved him the way you do simply because there’s nobody who loves as deeply, as genuinely and purely as you do. It definitely took him a while to understand this, but after watching the way everyone in your closest circle treats you Sunghoon has realised that they simply mirror your behavior towards them and it was that moment where he started genuinely missing you. Not just the way you used to love and care for him, but you as a person.

Your energy, so calm and comforting, something he’s never experienced with anyone before.

Maybe that’s why he’s so scared of losing you – again. It’s not like he’s actually got you back in his life yet but the mere thought of you avoiding him at all cost once you all graduate and live your new lives as adults makes his whole body go into panic mode.

He’d rather be close to you from this distance than risk it, but he knows he has to talk to you about all of this.

Sunghoon knows he owes you this, not only your current self but that twelve year old girl who cried herself to sleep because she didn’t understand why her best friend suddenly turned his back on her after she’s just given up her biggest dream.

And first and foremost: he owes this conversation to his own inner child.

Everyone involved in this situation deserves their own version of closure and no matter how much he hates verbal confrontation, Sunghoon is more than just willing to put his own comfort last to give you what you deserve.

With a soft sigh and a thin veil of tears blurring his vision, Sunghoon stares at his best friend and patiently waits for him to respond, not quite sure what he wants to hear.

“Go to our place”, Jaeyun suddenly says, his big hands gently grabbing Sunghoon’s face as he looks at his closest friend with a genuine, encouraging smile, “she’s agreed to talk to you tonight. I’m gonna send her up there and distract everyone else. Just go, I’ve got this covered.”

Hoonie doesn’t even get the opportunity to thank Jake as he turns around and disappears in the living room, hyping the remaining members of your group up and doing exactly what he’s just reassured him of.

Exhaling deeply, Sunghoon finally manages to find enough courage to make his way to the floor above yours, into his own home.

The following ten minutes feel like the longest ten minutes he’s ever experienced and as the silence of his apartment and late february night slowly become his nightmare, his breath hitches in his throat the second his ears catch up on your footsteps on the other side of the door.

You don’t know how long it takes you to find enough courage to knock on the door of Jaeyun’s and Sunghoon’s shared apartment, but after what feels like an eternity to both you and your former skating partner, you finally get yourself to let go of all the worries and take a deep breath.

However, you feel yourself choking on that exact breath as the door slowly opens and you’re met with the sight of none other than Park Sunghoon. Your first love, your first best friend, the first person who’s ever made you feel worthy of love and affection at the age of six.

Different than you had expected of yourself, you physically can’t stop yourself from looking straight into his face.

Maybe it’s because after all these years of hating his features, you finally see nothing but the young, innocent little boy who didn’t know any better than pushing the ones who hurt him as far away as possible to protect his tiny heart.

Your eyes nervously roam his breathtakingly beautiful features, the usually so stoic and cold expression in his eyes replaced by nothing but softness. It’s not necessarily something you haven’t seen before, since it’s how he looks at his boys and the people he cares about, it’s the fact that after all this time, it’s aimed at you and nobody else.

Sunghoon doesn’t say anything. All he does is take a step to the side with his eyes firmly focused on the floor as he waits for you to walk into the familiar living room and hopefully are the initiator of the whole conversation.

But he knows you won’t be.

There’s something gleaming in the soft colour of your eyes which tells him what exactly your expectations are of this and for some reason a sense of pride washes over him.

No words are spoken as you sit down on the armchair you had gifted them at their housewarming party, the feeling of being all alone in this apartment with just him feeling weirdly comforting to you.

But then again, you’re not very surprised because one thing about Park Sunghoon is that he’s always going to make you feel at ease, no matter where you are.

For a moment it feels like his heart is going to break its way through his rib cage as the pace of his heartbeats increase by the minute, but as soon as Sunghoon finds enough courage to lift his head and look into your eyes, he realises that this is the moment he’s been waiting for all this time.

“I’m sorry.”

The first thing to fall past his lips is an apology, something neither one of you has expected, yet he knows there’s no other way to start this conversation.

“You don’t have to–”, “Don’t – please, don’t trivialize me or my behavior”, Sunghoon is quick to stop you from doing the one thing he’s always scolded you for back when you two used to be close, something you’ve always struggled with as the wish to be loved and appreciated by the people you care for always overshadowed the feelings you’re entitled to.

“I’m sorry, Y/N”, he begins again, the usage of your name sending chills down your whole body as you attentively wait for him to continue at his own pace, “for everything.”

You don’t respond.

Sunghoon knows it’s not because you don’t have anything to say but because you know him well enough to give him the time he needs to process the mess in his head.

“The day of the competition, the one we’ve practiced so long and hard for, I was so excited”, Sunghoon can’t help the smile forming on his lips as all the memories from the favorite time of his life come flooding back, “I knew we were going to kill and make it to the nationals, everyone knew this. But it wasn’t what everyone else was expecting of us, you know I never gave a fuck about any of them.”

All you can do is nod, your body tense as the blood starts thrumming in your ears.

“I was already surprised that we didn’t pick you up on our way to the competition but my mother just said that your siblings would tag along, which is why you guys had to take your car instead of ours, so I didn’t think much of it, until I was already changed and ready, waiting for you to join me on the ice rink during the warm up.”

A deep sigh follows his little story and you can tell from the way he’s rubbing his knuckles just how much patience and willpower it’s taking him to maintain his calm demeanor.

“When I finally saw that fucking monster, I actually felt relieved because I thought she was going to tell me that you’re getting ready and not to worry, but boy was I fucking wrong”, it’s then that his anger finally makes itself visible as the tips of his ears start turning red, his hands now nervously playing with his rings and you actually appreciate how hard he’s trying to keep his composure a lot more than he probably thinks, “I can’t actually believe how naive I was because deep down I knew you would have never done this to me. You were my best friend, the only person I’ve ever let close to my heart.”

It’s his affirmation of your feelings being reciprocated which becomes the trigger for your tears and before you can actually comprehend what’s happening, you feel a single tear leaving a hot trail on your cheek as it makes its way down to your chin, but all you can do is remain as silent as before.

“I guess the anxiety and excitement from the competition clouded my brain because when that bitch told me about how you had decided to quit partner skating because you never actually wanted to do it with me, I didn’t even think that she might be lying. Which is kind of ironic because I never actually believed her anything before that because I always knew what kind of person she is.”

You can tell how much he’s been thinking about his decisions from that day, how much it’s been getting to him and just how much he’s been struggling to accept his mistakes.

Sunghoon has always been his biggest critic, heÄs always been the hardest on himself and while back then you never understood why he chose to be like this to himself, you now know it’s because of the constant state of competition he’s been put under ever since his very first day on this earth.

If there’s one thing his parents have never even tried to hide, it’s their favoritism towards Sunghoon’s older brother, their golden child. You still remember all those times you could barely stand on your feet after a long day of practice, where Hoon would beg you to stay a little longer because he hadn’t perfected a move, his father’s hawk like eyes constantly spotting a new mistake, running the young boy’s self worth and perception. No matter how hard he tried, it was never good enough for his father and even if Sunghoon had accepted this back in his teens, you can still tell how much it’s still affecting him, breaking your heart into millions of pieces.

“So, they started announcing our names and everyone was looking at me”, another deep sigh falls past his lips, his eyes nervously roaming your face, yet skillfully skipping yours as the shame and guilt suddenly becomes more overwhelming than before, “that was the moment I knew I wasn’t gonna listen to whatever you had to say. I was so heartbroken, so angry, I just…didn’t know what to do, so I decided to distance myself from you. To be really honest with you, I never even realized how much I started hating until a lot later but at that point it was too late, the feeling of being betrayed by you, my dearest friend, was simply too much and every single thing I had felt before turned into anger and hatred.”

Sunghoon takes a deep breath and finally lifts his head, his longing eyes meeting yours as you watch the tip of his nose redden, a sight you’re definitely not used to and yet find some kind of comfort in. The fact he’s not holding anything back, not even his tears, calms you down because as the tears are streaming down your cheeks, you know you’re finally being listened to and understood.

“I hated you, so fucking much”, he breathes and runs both of his hands through his thick hair, “you used to be the only person I’ve trusted and seeing you live your life like you didn’t stab me in the back made me so furious, so mad all I wanted was to hurt you. I wanted you to be in just as much pain as me because I thought – I never could have imagined what you had gone through and by the time I was actually mature enough, my ego took over and your presence brought out the worst version of me.”

To hear everything from his perspective feels like he’s ripping up all of your old wounds, yet also healing the ones hidden underneath as he finally gives you the closure you had longed for, for so long.

“Everything I’ve said about you and in your face, everything I’ve done these past few years were because I was too hurt to even think about listening to your version of the whole story and I – don’t know how to even ask for your forgiveness, Y/N. All these years I spent badmouthing and belittling, borderline harassing and humiliating you are in no way excusable and I take full accountability for it. Even if I regret it all right now, I can’t take back all the pain I’ve caused you, no matter how guilty I feel.”

Sunghoon, as usual, chooses his words wisely, every single one of them well thought through as he tries to think of all the things he’s wanted to tell you.

“You know, deep down I always knew that I never actually hated you because no matter how hard I fucking tried, I always found myself wondering if you need anything, if you’re being taken care of, listened to. And I don’t think you have any idea how badly I wanted to be in the boys’ place and just hold you in my arms, tell you that everything’s going to be okay because you always make it through whatever life throws your way.”

His sudden confession definitely takes you aback and it’s then that you realize just how hard you’ve been crying. Usually you’d push yourself into survival mode and suppress all your tears for later, the urge to hide your emotions and especially your vulnerability, something you’ve perfected over the years, only for all of your hard work to be gone in front of Park Sunghoon, of all people.

“The night of Seung’s birthday”, Sunghoon gulps harshly as the memories from that particular moment hit him at full force, “I felt like a fucking monster. Nothing I say or do can justify, excuse or make up for the fact that I treated you the way I did and I guess that’s why I’m still struggling to find the right words to apologize.”

At first, you don’t hear the shaking in his voice as you try to focus on regulating your own breathing all while listening to him, yet as soon as his voice breaks off at the of his sentence, you snap back into reality and feel your heart aching at the sight of Sunghoon’s tears.

“I’ve caused so much damage, so much pain, I don’t – I don’t know how to – what to do or say, Y/N. But no matter what you choose to do after tonight, I’m gonna spend my whole life trying whatever it takes to be worthy of your forgiveness.”

You carefully watch the way he almost aggressively wipes away his tears, a desperate attempt to control his emotions and the longer you look at him, the calmer you become.

“There’s so much more I want to say but I just – I can’t find the right words because no words will ever do justice for the apology you deserve, Y/N”, Sunghoon takes another deep breath, “so please, just…say something, anything.”

The physical distance between the two of you isn’t bigger than a single step, yet you still find yourself getting up on your feet to sit down right next to him, your whole body shaking as all the things you wanna say to him rush through your mind before you look up to meet the eyes you’ve been running away for longer than you can remember, the comfort they come with so familiar, you can’t believe it’s actually been that long since you’ve last allowed yourself to get lost in the sweetest shade of brown you’ve ever seen.

“You know”, you begin quietly, too scared your voice might break if you speak up, “the first few days after that fuck up of a dinner party, I thought I could never forgive you, but the more I thought about you, the more I realised how badly I wanted you back in my life.”

Your words send jolts of warmth straight in Sunghoon’s chest, his heart feeling heavy as you crush all of his worries with just a single sentence, the way you’ve always done.

“I can’t lie and deny just how much you’ve hurt me, Sunghoon”, the urge to reach for his pretty face and pull him close to you feels overwhelming and you still manage to suppress it all as you focus on the things you know you have to get off of your chest first.

“I’m not even referring to the constant bickering and bad mouthing because everyone we both know, knows I did it just as much and bad as you, so I guess we’re even when it comes to that”, you can’t help but chuckle, the sound easily eliciting a soft giggle from the usually so stoic young man, taking even more weight off of your chest.

“That night of Seung’s birthday, I did what I did because I thought I deserved it and the first few times afterwards I craved the pain you caused because it was the only thing keeping me alive after the breakup with Jaemin”, you feel the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and just as you’re about to swallow them, you watch Sunghoon throw his head back with a soft sob, tears streaming down his temples as he tries to comprehend the fact that his biggest fear had become reality.

Because deep down, he always knew you had used him to punish yourself, because nothing was as disgusting and humiliating as sleeping with someone who had spent so much time treating you like actual shit. Sunghoon never wanted to admit this to himself, simply to save and protect his own heart, so to hear you admit it like this has managed to shatter his world all over again.

“But then…you started kissing me, holding my face and my hands, you even once told me how pretty I looked and I got so confused because you weren’t supposed to make me feel worthy of it all but you did. And the best thing about it all was, you barely ever said anything. It was your actions which showed me how much you regretted leaving me like that after the whole shit show in the lockers room.”

You feel heat creeping up in your neck as all the memories from your moments of intimacy come rushing back but with a soft sigh you look up and realize how much Sunghoon’s been crying, so without overthinking it too much, you reach for his face, gently caressing his damp cheek only for him to quickly place a bunch of soft kisses into your palm as your touch manages to calm down his hitched breathing.

It’s like the world has gone to sleep to give you both all the time and space you need to process lal these weird, never experienced feelings and for the first time in your life, your brain has managed to quiet down.

“It took me a while to understand why I felt the way I did but that night in Tokyo, where you let me fall asleep in your arms, I finally knew”, you never once avert your gaze from his as you try to take deep breaths in hopes of him imitating you, a soft smile creeping up on your face when Sunghoon does just that and before another set of tears can find their way down his cheeks, you take his face into your hands.

“It’s because after all these years, you still feel like home, Sunghoon”, you whisper as your vision gets blurry and the lump in your throat doubles in its size, “you’ve always been my home and you know that.”

And with those words, you manage to not only break his heart into thousands of pieces but actually heal every single open wound in the deepest bits of his cold heart, something he’s been longing for all his life.

“I’m so, so sorry”, he suddenly sobs and tries to move out of your hands, only for you to gently tighten your grip enough to stop his movements, knowing you need him to look at you for all the things you’ve still got to say to be valid.

You’ve waited for this moment for so long, you weren’t gonna let this opportunity go, no matter how much more heartbreaking and gut wrenching it’s bound to become.

“You hurt me”, you say confidently, nto ready to give in just yet, not even to torture him but because you promised yourself to never, ever let yourself down like you’ve always done, “you broke my heart, over and over again. Every time you said something to or about me, you reminded me why my heart had gone so cold and I also wanted you to be in pain. You deserved to be humbled and put in your place for all the things you’ve said to me so I won’t apologize for any of it because even if it wasn’t right, I felt justified in my behavior and so did you, Hoonie.”

At the sound of his favorite nickname in your voice after almost a whole decade of deprivation, Sunghoon’s ears perk up and despite the agonizing pain in his chest, he feels a sense of comfort embrace him in a way only you’ve ever been able to provide him with.

“I haven’t forgiven you”, you quickly clarify, more to yourself than him since the little voice in the back of your head is still filled with rage and the bitter feeling of betrayal and humiliation, whereas your heart has finally started to bloom with nothing but love and adoration for the one and only man you’ve ever felt connected to.

“You don’t have to–”, “Yet. I haven’t forgiven you yet, Hoonie. It’s gonna take a bit for me to get over the whole lockers room part and also some of the things you’ve said because no matter how much you feel like home, the wounds are fresh and they burn. And I know yours do too, which is okay. I know we’re going to make it through this.”

Sunghoon looks at you with genuine shock and surprise fleming in his eyes, followed by a gentle layer of deep sadness the longer he looks at you.

“It’s gonna take a while but we’ve also grown a lot since then, we have a lot of catching up to do, right?”

The enthusiasm and confidence in your voice manage to ease his heart completely now and before Sunghoon can overthink any of it, the one question he’s been suppressing for God knows how long finally makes its way to your ears.

“Can I – hug you?”

For a moment Hoon’s genuinely worried about your reaction, only for you to nod and almost overwhelmingly quickly wrap your arms around his shoulders.

As you bury your face in his neck, you can feel his whole body losing every bit of tension, his strong arms finding their way around your waist, pulling you even closer and a row of soft sighs from the both of you filing the empty space of the quiet living room.

Neither one of you dares to say anything, not a single word. For a moment, you’re afraid that all of this might have been a dream as all the exhaustion and tiredness overwhelms your brain, pushing you into a headspace you’ve never been in before.

Maybe this is what it means to be held by the one you love.

After what feels like an eternity, Sunghoon gently pulls away just enough to keep you as close to his body as possible, his hands carefully holding your face as if he feared to break you like a fragile piece of glass when handled too harshly.

You lose track of time as your former best friend lets his eyes roam your face, memorizing the features he’s had to admire from afar, finally up close,his soft breaths fanning against your warm skin and if it wasn’t for the adrenaline rushing through your veins, you would have fallen asleep right then and there.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on”, Sunghoon whispers and nudges the tip of his nose against yours, “and I hope that I get the honor of loving you not just in this lifetime, but every single one, Y/N. You know I never did, yet I will spend the rest of my life praying that destiny has written my name next to yours in every single universe because just thinking about loving someone who’s not you hurts my heart. My soul’s been longing to come home, snowflake, thank you for taking my hand and showing me the way back to where I belong.”

“H-Hoonie, I–”, “You don’t have to say it back, not now and not ever. Just keep looking at me with those eyes, will you, my love?”

All you can do is nod as Sunghoon pulls you into another tight hug, this time laying down on the couch, emotional and mental exhaustion overcoming the both of you and even if there’s still so much to say, you know that after tonight, everything’s going to happen when time’s right and as you slowly drift into the most peaceful sleep you’ve ever had, Hoonie’s gentle confession echoes in your head like the sweetest lullaby you’ve ever heard.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: i can't believe i'm finally back after exactly two weeks. this might not be what some of you guys expected but i'm very, very happy with how this turned out and i genui hope you guys love it just as much. i can't even thank you guys enough for all your love, support and patience, as well as all the reassurance and encouragement you've been sending my way. i love and appreciate you all so, so much and i can't even explain how full of love my heart is for you all. thank you thank you thank you thank you 🤍💐☁️✨)

TAGLIST: @soonigiri @en-happiness @lhsvibez @dammit-jjk @heerinnie @primroselover @jungwon-xo @szkstay @lostwonderwall @hoonieluv @certifiedmoa @doodlelibrary @ikeuizm @kpoprhia @sleeping-demons @imtoanonymousforyou @lalalovejay @ineedsomezzz @xrr-s4sha @viagumi @electrobutterfly @mimikittysblog @blurryriki @heelcvr @wonkifangirl @joonzseoulmate @kwiwin @hoondiors @seuomo @zerasari @love-you-twice @aloverga @marz-mars @velvtcherie @niniissus @abrazosolorcereza @ddazed-lhs @acphengene @skz-streamer @kshoshi @tya0 @yizhoutv @jebetwo @myheelody @seokgyuu @blockbusterhee @luvkpopp @heeslut4life

[tofuhoon]

enhypen’s first texts after the breakup genre: angst, comedy (??) warnings: cussing in ni-ki’s read hyung line version here

a/n: hey gang... what's good... trying to soft launch my way back into writing?? ig xd hope u enjoyed!! sorry ni-ki is such a Guy in this

[eunseok-s]

♡— enhypen!boyfriend calls you clingy — hyung line only. part two — the break up

pairing: enhypen hyung line (ot4) x gender neutral reader | genre: angst | warnings: breaking up over text, hurt, curse words

a/n: this is fictional, it's not real. but please never let anyone treat you this way <3 GUESS WHO IS AN IDIOT? MEEEE. i accidentally deleted this, i still had the parts in my phone (thank god) so this is a repost :) I'm so so sorry for deleting this by mistake!! pls forgive me <3

part one here — main masterlist

permanent taglist: @honeyhuii @soobin-chois @fylithia @enhacolor @ja4hyvn @maiverie @bambisgirl @hiqhkey @its-madi @bobariki @yizhoutv @joonsytip @l33j3n8 @nar-nia @lightprincess-world

[acphengene]

ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE - SOCIAL MEDIA AU

these stories will take place in the same universe and most importantly in the same friend group. you'll get to experience the love story of each member, and in some cases, also their heartbreaks.

all stories will include both written and none written parts. smut will be included so minors dni.

JAY -> brothers best friend au

you move from australia to seoul to get your degree, but what happens when you spill your entire iced americano on a handsome stranger?

materlist - first chapter out now …

JAKE -> idol au

before his debut Jake takes a last bachelors trip through europe where he meets a woman who completely rock his world. will the two ever meet again?

writing 0% complete - please stand by

HEESEUNG -> enemies to lovers au

Some people you instantly love, others you'll end up despicing. Heeseung hates the woman who runs the PR-team for his company, and yet he cant seem to get her off her mind

writing 0% complete - please stand by

SUNGHOON -> best friends to strangers to lovers

you left Sunghoon behind when you were both 15 to travel to the states with your family. what happens when you're suddenly back in seoul, and the boy you once knew had grown up to be a man?

writing 2% complete - please stand by

[puma-riki]

No One Noticed....

Warnings: consistent cursing, kms/kys jokes [Subject to change every chapter]

Status: Ongoing (Start: 092124)

Taglist: @bee-the-loser @iaintseggsy @channieismylove @yangjungwonnie @luluvhs @nikiswifiee @kingofthekards @skepvids @sammie217 @sh0dor1 @sirens-dreams @starfallia @polarisjisung @minhosimthings @mochiwonz @jiiyen @strawberrieswithchocolateo3o @ritzy-dream-boy @roseangelxfuma @sugarikiz @stvrriki @eczlipse @ddolleri @dangerousgardenchild @roarr-ki | Comment on any chapter from No One Noticed... saying you want to be added to the taglist!! or send me an ask !! | bold could not be tagged :c

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14. I WANT MY DUO