#Suspens much

[aucoba]

My first real encounter with Dracula's stories (I think) was the French musical adaptations in 2011. I found the CD's again and damn do the song still slap. I remember how excited I was to go watch the musical live only to come out disappointed and utterly confused. Now. Guess what captation I found on yt

[harrysfolklore]

Tom meeting reader at an event and he’s just flirting the whole night and ends up getting her number

i watched the golden globes and got inspired to write this! i hope you like it <3

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

If there was an award for "most nervous person in attendance" at the Golden Globes, you'd have won it by now.

Award shows never failed to make your stomach feel in knots the entire time, specially when you were nominated, like tonight.

The Great had been a huge breakout role, a period drama that had captivated audiences and critics. Now, you stood among the nominees for Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy at the Golden Globes, and you could feel your heart pounding as the moment of your category being announced approached.

"Love, are you okay?" you heard a voice calling for you, turning your head you realized that it was Dua (yes, the Dua Lipa) who was sitting next to you.

"Just a bit nervous," you told her with a small smile, "I think I'll head backstage for a minute, I need a breather."

She assured you with another smile and you made your way backstage, a commercial break started just on cue.

You had rehearsed your acceptance speech a dozen times in case you won, and also had a pep talk ready in case you didn't, yet the nerves persisted. You knew you were competing against some big names, and whatever the result people online would have something to say.

Your train of thought was interrupted by your body colliding with someone, almost dropping your clutch in the process.

"Whoa there, careful," a voice chuckled, catching your arm.

"Sorry, I didn't see where I was going," you said, your cheeks flushing from embarrassment, of course you'd run into someone in classic romcom cliche style.

"No harm done. You alright?" he grinned and you recognized him, it was the man who had been flooding your Tiktok for you page for the past month, Tom Blyth, "I'm Tom, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, I'm YN," you smiled back, "And yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit nervous about my category. Oh you're presenting it, aren't you?"

"I'll have the privilege, yes," his charm effortlessly showed, "And just so you know, I'm rooting for you. You were phenomenal in The Great, one of my favorite shows I watched last year."

Your nerves seemed to ease a bit, his presence and charm making you relax. There was something about him that felt comforting, even though it was your first time meeting him.

"Thank you, that's really nice," you smiled at him, "But I don't want to get too confident, the other nominees are just as great."

"Honestly, I'd bet my hat you're taking that Golden Globe home tonight."

Tom squeezed your arm gently and you smiled again, and before another word could be exchanged, a crew member's voice echoed through the backstage area announcing that the show was back from commercial break in 30 seconds.

"Well, looks like it's showtime" Tom glanced towards the exit, then back at you. "Knock 'em dead out there, YN. You got this."

"We'll see."

With a final wink sent your way, you parted ways. You returned to your seat and tried to enjoy the ceremony as much as you could, your nerves still in the back of your head but your interaction with Tom making you feel more at ease now.

"And now, presenting the award for Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy, please welcome The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes star, Tom Blyth!"

You heard the host say and you knew t was time, and once again a wave of nerves and uncertainty filled your body.

The crowd erupted in applause as Tom stepped onto the stage, his confidence and charm shinning through.

"Good evening, everyone. It's an honor to be here tonight among such incredible talents," Tom smiled, "Here are the nominees for Female Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy."

A video played showing all the nominees but you felt like your mind was numb, you didn't even realize it had ended until Tom's voice was heard again.

"And the Golden Globe goes to," he paused for suspense, and you could see a small smirk making its way to his face as he read the name, "YN!"

Time seemed to freeze, you tried to process everything as you heard the applause from the crowd and those around you congratulating you and before you knew it, you were on stage taking the award from Tom's hands and giving him a quick hug.

"I told you." He quietly whispered in your ear and gave you a wink, a moment that the cameras had caught.

You gave your speech, thanking your cast mates, directors, family, friends and the rest of the nominees. Once you were done you headed backstage with a proud smile and your newest award in hand.

The night went on and you definitely enjoyed every minute of it, mingling with other actors and thanking everyone who approached to congratulate you.

Once the ceremony wrapped up, you headed to the after party, you were sipping on a fruity drink by the bar when you felt a presence behind you.

"Hey, can I steal a moment with the newest Golden Globe winner?"

You turned around noticing it was Tom, he had changed to a different suit and you couldn't help but think that he looked really handsome.

"Sure, what do you need, president Snow?" you laughed, feeling a newfound confidence around him.

"How about your number? I'd hate to lose touch with Hollywood's latest sensation." Tom flashed his charming smile again, taking you by surprise and making your entire body feel giddy.

"Smooth, Blyth. Very smooth." Blushing furiously, you playfully rolled your eyes.

"Well, when you really really want something, smooth comes naturally."

And just like that, after winning a major award for your career and feeling on top of the world, you found herself exchanging numbers with Tom Blyth, excited to see where that would take you.

[soo-won]

Akatsuki no Yona chapter 60 magazine vs volume

Hi everyone! I managed to get my hands on the clip out of the magazine version of chapter 60 from Hana to Yume issue 17/2012, and as we don't have much trace from the magazine versions of the chapters from then, i thought it would interesting to share my findings! First, the color page: the editor text says "What will become of Yona and the others? The suspens is agonizing, but?!" (baby trio time!!!!!!) Otherwise it advertizes volume 9 and how well it's been doing. It was the first ever volume to get a special edition and cover with a new drama CD and comments from the seiyuus! Something that I can't help but find a bit ironic is how they really highlight Takuhiro Sakurai as Tae-jun on the bottom right and ah yeah...this didn't age too well.

Behind the color page, it shows that Hana to Yume was (already back then) having a special Yona Crimson Festival campaign. This is when belated Kentaro Miura drew an illustration of the whole main cast that could be win in a lottery, with a reproduction of the special cover of volume 9, autographs of the seiyuus from the drama CD and Kusanagi, and a totebag with Ao that I had never seen before. Miura apparently said that he just ended up drawing the whole cast since it grew a lot (since the time he had only drawn Yona and Hak I assume).

Then to the chapter in itself. I know Kusanagi started really making changes between the magazines and tankoubon(volumes) in relatively recent years so I didn't expect to find any difference here honestly but I found a few! I also find it interesting to see her author's note, the summary of the plot and presentation of the characters etc all around.

So! Page 2 and the first page of the chapter. No change with the manga page from the volume we know of here, but I thought it would be interesting to share for what's below. I honestly am a bit too lazy to translate the whole synopsis as I don't think it says anything novel or specially interesting (I can still do it if someone insist), but I found the characters presentation sweet since it's different from the one we've been getting for every chapter for a while, and it's very cute too since it's specially for this flashback mini-arc.

Yona: Kouka Kingdom's Princess. She is an only child who lost her mother at a young age. She is preciously raised by her father and King Il.

Suwon: Yona's cousin of three years older. He has been gently watching over Yona like a little sister ever since he's little.

Hak: The successor of Mundok, General of the Wind Tribe. Later on, he'll become the servant and bodyguard of his childhood friend Yona.

Now on to page 4: Yona's hair and face were redrawn on the third panel! The movement lines next to her head were erased too. For the text and font, you can also see that the font of the first bubble was changed for the default one, and that they're formated it slightly differently in the last box. We don't often think about the original lettering in manga and how they can also change between raw and volume do we?

Page 7: It's not like this change matter much, but I was so surprised and happy to find out that this iconic page had been modified as well. The third panel that showcases how lively Kuuto is was completely replaced with people playing music. I think the volume version indeed conveys Kuuto's atmosphere much better (like why would Yona be so amazed at two men talking and drinking really), but it's interesting to find out that back then they struggled to find what to put there precisely. From a creative process pov this is so relatable lmao.

Other than these two pages before, I haven't noticed any other change, but I thought I would share Kusanagi's author comment!

"I'm so so happy. I can't believe Miura-sensei drew me an illustration of Yona(and of the whole main cast at that!). This boost me up even more to do my very best! Thank you so much (happiness)."

Nothing special on the last page, but if anyone wondered if there was some editor text here to tease the next chapter...well no there isn't nfjbfhjbg. I so wish I could get my hands on chapter 61 too...

I'm not sure if I'll be able to get my hands on much more of those but I also got chapter 24 with this one, and I noticed a couple of things I'd like to share as well so stay tuned for that :)

[fandomtrashinna]

i have some thought on whats happening in 911. disclaimer i havent been watching 911 in a while so all my thought come what i have seen on social media.

- first of all buck, i love it my little queer heart is exploding

- i like tommy, i think he will be good for buck, to explore his sexuality and be his probabably his first in about everything in daiting a guy

- but my heart will always go to buddie, and i really hope that we get them in the end

- i do think that we will get there, it will take a while because you know suspens and drama is the bread and butter. but there is so much teasing about buddie and i will actually riot if they pull the haha you thought

- this is really reminding me of bones, the slow burn romance and friends to lovers trope.

- i hope that they wont make it dramatic with tommy, like huge breakup or they kill him

[vwoop-prince]

spoilers for the pjo show episodes 1-7

as of 10pm pst 25/01/2024 i have finished watching episode 7 of the pjo show and i was going to wait and see the final episode before posting my thoughts but i feel like critisism is fine at all points of a show so. this accidentally turned into the majority of my points & some are just poking fun/funny notes

some notes before i get into complaining: im having fun. this is fun for me. complaining about differences is fun for me. if its not for you, dont read this. i also havent even read mark of athena EVER and the last time i properly read a pjo book was in 2021. ive been skimming the first book alongside watching the episodes. and i am not seriously pissed off about the show as a whole. there are parts im pissed off at. there are parts that i think are fucking hilarious comparatively. there are parts im neutral on. i dont hate this show on principle just bc its not the books.

anyway the funniest takeaway from this adaptation is that we can literally complain down to a single grain of sand. if that vibe isnt what you like, maybe dont open the read more

yeah its hilarious how they changed the "grover nearly falls into tartarus" scene from gravel floor in the books to a sand floor in the show. idk why they did it but i can complain down to a single fuckin grain of sand. this is hilarious

look okay i love hades. just. period. in the actual myths, in the pjo books, how most people characterize him as a whole, and how i worship him as a pagan. notice how i didnt mention the show. like. show!hades is fine. hes just not book!hades. not even CLOSE. wheres the yelling? the "and I will have my helm back!" wheres the "He was the third god I'd met, but the first who really struck me as godlike." in the show hes just flamboyant. in the books hes a drama King and rightfully angry and complains about the state of his realm. whyd they do this to him. what the fuck

on the topic of godly gods. only hermes and hades have seemed like gods. hermes more than hades. ares, dionysus, and hephaestus are all just Guys. just some fuckin dudes. and the only reason hermes and hades actually seem like Gods is bc of their attitude/dialogue/mannerism and the scenery around them respectively. not combined. respectively.

i would LOVE to see the mental gymnastics percy had to do to guess that kronos is behind this shit. in the books there are five times kronos is mentioned. 1: as the first mythological being ever mentioned. 2: talking about the big three's dad before percy gets his prophecy. 3: when percy questions what it was like before the gods' time just before going on the quest. 4: when percy is speaking to zeus and poseidon alone on olympus. 5: when percy realizes who luke serves. they do NOT explicitly state that its kronos in the underworld. percy doesnt even finish his THOUGHT of who gave him the bag with the bolt before he tries to make amends with a pissed off hades. hes not able to explain to hades that it was ares EVER.

typical "oh percys so much smarter in the show than in the books" except its the kids are so much smarter about the myths than they should be. and like i Understand okay? i get it. sally made sure to grow percy up on the myths so hes prepared. annabeth has been at camp for five years, learning all she can as a child of athena. grover is in his mid twenties and a satyr. a protector. of course they should know shit. but figure it all out before even meeting the monsters? they knew it was medusa as soon as they saw the 'aunty m' sign. they knew it was procrustes before even ENTERING the building. why? why not have the kids be blindsided by shit? especially with medusa, who is meant to have either an enchantment-type thing like cc's island or who can bend the mist to have an enchantment-like thing that fooled annabeth. and crusty worked so fast they didnt have time to compare notes before grover and annabeth were trapped on their beds. why do they immediately know whats going on? wheres the suspense? wheres the showing not telling?

i always thought sally wouldve been yknow Normal just frozen in time and with gold dust around her similar to the sulphur of monsters disintegrating. not that she Was Gold. its like they really wanted to show off their fake gold statues idea

remember how hades looked in the show. now heres a screenshot of percy describing him. they are not the same (yes im salty about it)

How Fucking Dare they skip Persephone's garden. Why. absolutely Why. yes i do worship her too and im so damn salty theres not even a MENTION of her in ep 7

did i mention that the area around the pit to tartarus is meant to be gravel and not sand? bc its meant to be gravel. and they sure as hell couldntve leasurely stuck around it to chat bc its meant to INHALE. ITS MEANT TO TRY AND SUCK THE KIDS IN.

btw the 4 pearls? im fine with that. grover shouldve lost his on the tumble towards tartarus and we shouldve seen it fuckin fly away and watch the kids watch it plummet to the bottom. hell having a little after credits scene at the end of ep 8 where a random monster gets sent to the beach bc the pearl landed on them and shattered wouldve been HILARIOUS.

the missed deadline however? no. bullshit. 'its so the lotus can be even more dangerous' my ass. percys determined to see this quest through to the end, determined to stop the war before it fully starts, and yet theres no urgency. id even say theres LESS urgency than the books where they had a DAY to get the bolt & get to zeus (with added helm to hades & ares fight). sure it didnt make much sense for ALL THAT to be within a DAY but yknow what? time is fucky and they couldve had the underworld take like three overworld minutes yknow?

speaking of the war theyve know it could happen since the WINTER SOLSTICE. its now passed the SUMMER SOLSTICE. 'your father must rally his men' WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN DOING FOR HALF A YEAR??? SITTIN ON THEY ASSES TWIDDLIN THEIR THUMBHS???

lets go back to hades's aura btw bc ares didnt even have his. not a single fucking deity has had their aura. there was nothing with dionysus about madness and grapes (no scared reaction from percy), no war and fighting with ares (no weird anger from percy), and no hades feeling like he owns your very soul. why? whys there no aura? that might be the biggest reason none of these guys feel like gods to me

where's perseus "sass & improv" jackson. theres no "lord and uncle, i come with two requests". theres no "who said anything about dreams?". theres no fucking "big bathtub" no "circus caravan" not even fucking "you look taller"

why didnt the other flying shoe kick them on the head. cmon guys

the souls in asphodel arent ALWAYS bound with regret and their choices (or lackthereof) in life. sometimes thats where the ordinary go. thats where the regular ass people go, or the people that dont want to even have a chance of going to the fields of punishment. you got this right in the books, why did you revert to this in the show?

also no hint of hazel? i dont care if we never get to hoo. we might not get to titans curse, making the nico & bianca hint useless. im not sayin they shouldve casted someone as hazel for that scene, im not sayin she shouldve been the only root-bound spirit talking (dislike that idea, btw, what happened to wandering spirits thatre not spooky. theyre just sad.). one of the root-bound spirits just having fucking crystals sprouted up next to them wouldve been good enough.

also yeah wheres elysium and the fields of punishment

WHEN DID GROVER GET HIS MEMORY BACK

WHY DID HE EVEN LOSE ANY TO BEGIN WITH

charon would never turn down that much money

book sally and show sally are two different people

also not once has there been a mention of a monster smell?? of the underground smelling like monsters, of grover's distaste for being under ground, for anything like that???

speaking of grover. why isnt he eating shit. wheres his tin cans. his diet coke cans. his pinochle cards. his hacky-sack apple that he accidentally eats that gets the kids to be kids. whyd annabeth have to throw shade at him in the lotus scene about eating shit when hes not eaten a single non-edible thing in this entire show.

oh have i mentioned that they just got rid of every single fucking bit of foreshadowing the books ever have btw? bc holy shit lemme rant and this is somethin im GENUINELY pissed about

annabeth doesnt realize it could be kronos on the cab ride bc theres no cab ride. theres no 'its hades. it has to be'.

kronos is not the first mythological being mentioned

all these dreams??? not a single one was even important nor was luke even in one as a voice like i remember most of the first books dreams i dont remember any of the show.

no thalia hint in a dream which. okay i guess. dont want to cast her too early. but cmon man casting a thalia and changing her actor when she gets out of the tree wouldve been like an easter egg to messing up her eyecolor in the books. it wouldve been funny for the readers. cmon guys

the only hint we have of luke disliking his dad is when percys just about to leave for his quest and not? throughout the weeks percy spends at camp? Why

LUKE DOESNT EVEN THROW ANNABETH AND GROVER UNDER THE BUS IN THE SHOW. WHY. no 'youd have to be invisible' no 'maybe this time no one will turn into a tree'???

also dislike how we get all of the thalia lore basically Immediately wheres that slow release story that we gotta piece together alongside percy

oh gods another thing i fucking HATE: THERES NO SWORD TRAINING SCENE. theres also no showing that percy is rejuvinated via water/rain/is good with boats/horses that is like small foreshadowing that hes a son of poseidon but THERES NO SWORD TRAINING. THERES NO 'lukes the greatest sword fighter in decades!' compared to the final book where percys the best sword fighter now, theres no 'really difficult sword technique done first try' theres NONE OF THAT. WHYYY

the whole annabeth and percy were each other's tethers in the lotus casino is an early percy using annabeth as his tether in the styx and them sticking together in tartarus yes but also. why they gotta figure out the lotus immediately. wheres the fucking charm and enchantment though? wheres the ''its 1977' 'its WHAT'' wheres annabeth playing her architect sims wheres grover killing polluting humans wheres the fun. wheres the dawning horror that somethings not right. wheres the terrifying realization that percy nearly forgot his mother's name, that they have a quest, that they dont remember how long its been

hot take: lin manuel maranda is a fine hermes. i didnt even know who he was until i asked my dad btw. hes a jumpscare for yall hamilton nerds. im built dif (dislikes musicals)

take this copy-paste from my discord notes bc tumblr is lagging as im writing this:

they made grover smarter here than the books and i do like that tbh. him manipulating ares into giving some answers. him realizing that theyre not eating lotuses and augustus is still forgetting even new shit. and then grover forgetting what he was doing before augustus & pan in the same breath. i feel like theyre just using grover in place of longer and more drawn out back-n-forth convos & scenes though and that i dont like

TALKING ABOUT MAY NOW WAS GOOD. LEARNIGN THAT SHE WENT MAD FROM LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE? NOT GOOD. LEAVE US MORE OF A MYSTERY GUYS THAT COULDVE BEEN MENTIONED IN SEASON 3 BY THALIA OR SOMETHIN

also can they stop splitting up the kids. look i think the fields of asphodel was like that bc scheduling conflict with leah? right? why split aryan up from them TWICE tho with waterland and lotus tho. we dont need percabeth shit rn guys theyre TWELVE and prob didnt have crushes crushes until the next year at the earliest (spoken from someone that didnt ship percabeth until the kiss at mt st helens)

oh yeah have i mentioned that them blaming clarisse is Awful. its Terrible. they owe that girl the biggest fucking apology. yes i know percy threw clarisse out in his talk with ares on the beach but im pretty sure its never stated ever again and not before that

also? clarisse being a bully bc she cant fathom that percy fucked up the minotaur? why? why isnt she just a bully for the sake of it?

i dont think theyve even named her spear though. no ones called it lamer. no ones said it was a gift from ares

also im pissed at them saying ares doesnt care for his kids/hates them. no he doesnt. (insert that one myth people were throwing around about him killing his daughters assaulter) as well as clarisse being is favorite daughter in a while. she got the chance to get that fuckin chariot thing from her godly brothers or whatever i read that mini story once an wasnt paying too much attention. is ares a good dad? no. no mythical being is a good parent period. does he hate his kids? no

logic issue: how the fuck do the roller coasters in the lotus work. when they first pan up to look at the outside theres people on roller coasters and theyre on the OUTSIDE of the building. does the time bubble extend to them? then why are they normal-paced when the lotus moves far slower than the outside world? or are the roller coasters outside the bubble, but because of the time fuckery, it kinda just looks like they blip out of existence for less than a blink and are straight back inside the casino? and the lotus in the air makes them not question the rapidly changing outside world's appearance?

"we take a zebra to vegas" no zebra

writers stop writing monotheistic views into polytheistic worlds challenge. WHY dont monsters attack on sunday??? huh??? bc i dont know that historical connection to ancient, before 1AD, greece. please. enlighten me as to why ancient greek monsters from the ancient greek polytheistic religion wouldnt attack demigods on something known as 'the lord's day' anytime after 1AD. enlighten me. and then explain to me why MONSTERS care

i will say im glad they kept annabeth's mess up with the IM. "show me camp half-blood. chiron's office." compared to "half-blood hill." she was a bit more specific sure and it could bring the question of why luke was in chiron's office in the show.

first: how percy tossed the coin was shit and shouldntve gone that far. second: was that a reference to jason grace.

is getting an IM signal a new thing? as in "not percy jackson and the olympians" thing, and a "heroes of olympus and higher" thing? bc ive never heard of that, and it makes sense for a prism. which also makes sense for them to have since IMs are very important. just sucks that the water mist isnt gonna foreshadow sea of monsters when percy creates a mist so lukes confession has more witnesses (& the like dozen other times that percy makes mist for an IM, showing his power & control on such a minute scale, showing that hes way out of almost anyones league in power scale)

idk why they didnt have ares hoard knowledge on sally over percy's head to try and get him to do the quest. whyd they have him use poseidon ("your dad had plenty of kids he stopped caring about once he lost interest") to rile percy up? oh thats right bc theres no fucking aura

i dont see the point in changing hephaestus's trap. maybe it wouldve costed too much to do the spiders and water and net or somethin (what else is the 12-15 mil per ep being spent on? hope its not that fancy screen thing that honestly was kinda obvious in some scenes and not good oops). anyway i didnt like the change to the throne, didnt like the self sacrifice (theyre really hammering that in), and i didnt really like them changing it to immediately showing it was hera that threw hephaestus off olympus? i feel like having one more thing against zeus for a while wouldve been good, or at least waiting until annabeth and hephaestus somehow got on that topic so hephaestus can correct annabeth

speaking of correcting annabeth: the medusa scene? where annabeth is all 'youre wrong bc my mother is just'? they shouldve had conflicting myths. i can understand doing the most modern retelling of medusa's myth (bonus points for it being roman in origin) bc the gods and monsters are heavily susceptible to belief. if enough people believe that retelling of the myth, then of course its gonna become the "true" one. they shouldve had annabeth argue that thats the roman myth and this is greek, or that medusa's story was modern and she knows the most ancient version we know of (ie: medusa & her sisters were always monsters). them talking about the same myth? doesnt really make sense, unless that was the only surviving medusa myth that just so happened to be the "truth". doesnt help the 'constantly shifting capital of power' thing

speaking of that: was that even mentioned? in the show? that the gods shift to the place with the most power? i dont think it was. why.

back to hephaestus and the shield tho: wheres aphrodite's scarf.

percy EXPLAINING myths to ANNABETH??? the seat myth with hera n whatnot??? WHAT. book 1 annabeth would NEVER

"it's like people only see what they wanna see and ignore anything at all that doesn't fit the story they like to tell themselves" / "exactly! like you being the one to find the lightning thief and not her." i didnt understand that leap in thought btw. very confused.

percy saying 'from an orthodontist's office maybe'. ow. gods. im not that much older than him and i recognize that from my dad playing it. an ortho office. oof (couldnt tell you the title or artist tho dont care that much bout it)

oh yeah this is the ONLY time we get a 'satyrs dont eat meat' thing. "satyrs eat tofu" ares says. like i know percy & grover swapped something on their sandwiches in the first episode but do you really think id be able to recognize what they swapped?

oh yeah speaking of the first ep: bit disappointed they didnt do the digenerative leg disease thingie as a cover for grovers legs. i mean. makes sense. dont want to downplay that disability. also consider though: grovers legs arent human legs & he needs a cover for why he cant do some things & shouldnt do others, and a leg issue wouldve been the best choice

also the no mist on his legs throughout the entire quest? dont like that tbh. i dont care that this isnt in JUST percy's pov anymore. the mist should affect shit outside camp

speaking of the mist. where the fuck is it. was it even mentioned once. its not a thing in the show for some fuckinggg reasonnnnnnnn

annabeth trying to rile ares up btw? what the fuck? plus grover not being scared shitless & doing the beach talk on his own in the diner? dislike. this is what happens WITHOUT THE AURA

oh yeah the diner is just called 'diner' in the show btw and that was hilarious bc theres so many places just called 'place'. ive seen small walk in clinics just called 'clinic'. diners called 'diner'. bars called 'bar'. place for hearing aids LITERALLY CALLED 'HEARING AIDS'. its funny

take this discord screen shot about some of the ares diner thing bc copy pasting as straight text would make this longer and rewriting it is not in the cards (yes i numbered all my complaints and made live notes to myself)

not aging the show. name drops twitter. like im sorry guys if you show a car or a phone then youre aging the show but did you have to name drop TWITTER of all things???

have i mentioned theyre meant to IM luke before ares btw. have i also mentioned that the kids get to the diner first and ares appears then. small timeline changes i no likey (only half joking)

imma be real i dont like that they changed it so annabeth witnesses the fates cut the string. dont like it that grover doesnt pay attention until its passed. dont like that percy is NONCHALANT about it when hes told. be chalant man. book percy knew it was a big deal even when he didnt know shit.

(insert the continuity error of waterland near denver colorado and the arch in like illinois or somethin and theyre now WALKING in the show when its a two day TRAIN ride in the books that everyone already talked about)

ah right THEY DONT SHOW THE FIRST NEREID TALK. WHY. also WHY IS PERCY WET. WHY DID HE STILL NOT KNOW HE CAN BREATHE. WHY DIDNT THEY SHOW THAT WHATEVER PERCY TOUCHES CAN STAY DRY WITH THE LIGHTER. THAT WAS SO COOL

i do like the change that percy doesnt pray to poseidon when he gets off the arch. i was going to say jumps off but then i remembered that he fell off in the show which was definitely a change that im not neutral on but im not 100% on if it was positive or negative

what happened to the clear sighted mortal btw

i dislike how echidna and the chimera were handled. again. what happened to being blind sided. what happened to shock and sudden appearances. i dont care if the chimera was learning to hunt. the realization that echidna was a monster with her forked tongue was great.

i was going to write "wheres the suicidal thoughts" (ie percy thinking the monster wont attack mortals if he dies/jumps out of the arch) then remembered that this isnt 1st person and theres no voice over (which wouldve made this show 1000% better)

okay. so. they dont show percy nailing the difficult sword technique, but they DO show him getting hits on the chimera. when in the books he doesnt get a single hit on the chimera. to quote my disc notes: percy gets precisely ZERO hits on the chimera. first slash at neck, deflected by a collar that name-drops Tartarus. second slash at the mouth just after the tail stabbed his leg, tail wrapped around leg and pulled him around dropping riptide down the hole. again, poison Immediate

right the poison not being immediate. im. why

WHY DIDNT PERCY GO THROUGH THE CHIMERA'S FIRE BLAST. IT WOULDVE SHOWN HIS RESISTANCE TO FIRE AS A SON OF POSEIDON THATS PLAYED WITH BIT MORE IN SEA & LABRYNTH

the rivers meant to be way more polluted btw

i do like the accurate change to the arch tho. showing that the water reached up and grabbed him was kinda the "duh" answer but if you read this scene plainly without much thought then yeah in the books the arch goes over the river so. it wasnt even that much of a discussion point bc pjo universe architecture was different i guess

anaklusmos is meant to fall out the arch during the fight, not further in, and percy's meant to have a good length of time standing on the arch without the sword returning to his pocket

have i mentioned that so far all these monster fights are disappointing and lackluster

oh btw the taxi scene after lotus? fucking hate how thats MORE dramatic than the actual MONSTER FIGHTS

the arch being a temple to athena or whatever? nice change, dont really like how it replaced more architecture talk tho. shouldve been an add-on in the middle of annabeths geeking out bout the math n structure that percy tries to focus on but annabeth shrugs it off and goes on about the perfect balance of the lean-to stuff (i dont know architecture)

her "so poseidon can't ruin it" about the earthquake protection plate things though? rude and not what show annabeth shouldve said since theres been no/little "poseidon vs athena" rivalry talk (besides annabeth praying to her mom and getting shunned & percy not praying and getting saved. that was a good parallel).

adding indigenous folk to grover's talk of genocide & erasure was good, just wish there was more on it & throughout more of the quest

them throwing in the "not all monsters are monsters" and "not all demigods are heroes" talk seemed kinda half-assed and like they didnt really know where to go with it. i like it bc itll be expanded on with like circe a bit & zoë & ethan nakamura / luke / the demigods on the titan's army & especially with tyson all throughout sea. but like. if i hadnt read the books then id think they added those points just bc they were expected to, especially since its not even brought up again in later episodes

wasted opportunity for not saying "Isn’t that a kind of anteater?" what happened to my sassy boy you didnt have to change the sass guys that line is still funny pleaseee

rip gladiola & rip the signs of life whenver pan is mentioned

okay so i could understand the centaurs in the first book not partying bc maybe rick didnt think of that until the next one but? the show centaurs not partying? sure maybe its not the party ponies maybe its another sector/group but like. cmon. i wouldve laughed if they had those glow stick necklaces & a disco ball & shit

what latched onto the outside of the train car btw. what monster was that. i couldnt tell

1st what does froofy mean 2nd that was good dialogue on grovers part

annabeth & percys talk about thalia/luke/her dad... genuinely i dont have much thoughts on it (good or bad) besides that i reread lukes diary after watching that episode & luke & thalia were fine with annabeth joining them. thalia was proud that luke acted how he did with her. didnt really like that she said she had to "earn it" with thalia

ah yes. the dream just before the thalia talk. what the hell did kronos mean "she is coming" was he, for some stupid fucking reason, warning them about echidna??? the nereid??? OR DID HE MEAN GAEA. DID HE FUCKING MEAN HIS MOTHER. WHAT IN THE HELL

how they showed that olympus is connected to the empire state building at the end of ep 3? dislike that. doubly dislike how hermes already knew what was in the box before anyone opened it

"hermes express" hermes, walking to the elevator in the empire state building when we know for a fact they can just beam anywhere:

them not showing DOA at all & not showing the address to the underworld in medusa's area? didnt like that at all, felt less like a scavanger hunt & more like a fetch quest (ik getting the bolt is a fetch quest, but this is like double fetch quest instead of one part fetch one part egg hunt)

ANYONE LEARNING ABOUT THE BETRAYAL PART OF THE PROPHECY BTW??? DIDNT LIKE THAT. PREFERED WHEN PERCY WAS TRYING TO GO AROUND THE PROPHECY/NOT THINK ABOUT IT. also the betrayal hasnt been mentioned since except when they decided to blame clarisse, but that was as the lightning thief & not friend betrayal

okay so the bus scene & them turning a fury (alecto?) to stone. didnt like the changes. i feel like they changed it so percy's mortal kill count doesnt start so young (half joking) but it kinda gets rid of the whole "the gods dont take into account how their emotions/reactions affect mortals". plus the hurricane isnt sudden in montauk, it builds since percy uses the fountain

them shortening the yancy time btw? will agree it makes sense, dont agree that its better/even a neutral change. it gets rid of the gaslighting, the mist, the first instance of the winter solstice, this:

have i mentioned they got rid of all the fucking foreshadowing GODS IT PISSES ME OFF

okay back to medusa. her not being able to get you if shes invisible? isnt how i imagined her eyes working in pjo & the myths. also i understand not wanting to show beheading in a "kids show" but also why invisible you can just have it happen just off screen until they get it in a bag (which yeah wouldve been fundementally the same as invisible but cmon)

dislike the medusa plan change. 'i'll get in the air & draw her attention' thats literally the opposite of what they wanted in the books

WHY WAS THERE FIRE ON THE STAIRS WHY DID THE BASEMENT LOOK LIKE THAT WHY WAS IT A BASEMENT & NOT LIKE A BIG GARAGE-TYPE THING (my dad explained that the fire could have been a reference to the 1981 clash of titans with the flickering suspense kind of scary but may i point out: that would be a reference to a 1981 thing in a modern kids show)

good to know her veil material is enough to block her gaze btw though. like that was a thin material and it was ENOUGH??? you didnt even have to make her invisible you probably couldve just worn your shirt on your head & saw through the tiny holes

mother/son possible relationship between medusa and percy WAY BETTER than the grooming that happens & i could definitely see as a possibility. a wild possibility but its possible

the cgi for the nereid was terrible btw. the sound for the sizzling in the percy & medusa convo was so fake. the straw empty noise grover does drinking his lemonade should not be possible with how much was actually left in his cup. that pastry grover ate should not have crunched.

copy paste of a disc note: "and you are a liar" telling the person who is centuries older than you. from a time where the gods were actively worshipped. that they are a liar about what happened to them???? what in the FUCK

another copy paste note: "my mother is just. always" is your mother the goddess of what is just??? the goddess of justice??????? no. what the fuck

the slow release of medusa's "true" myth annoyed me bc every time new info came up i was like "oh so its this myth" and then more came up and i was like "okay its this iteration" and then more info came and i just about yelled in frustration

"i dont like bullies" giving percy's lines to medusa

another copy paste note: "WE'RE NOT OUR PARENTS AFTER ALL" IS WHAT PERCY SAYS ON THE CAR RIDE WITH ARGUS TO NY PROPER. WHICH MAKES ANNABETH STOP BEING AS ANTAGONISTIC

another copy paste: theres a reason aunty em in the books used fast food containers for her food and NOT REFLECTIVE SHIT. WHAT IS THIS SILVER COVER. YOU SPEAK OF THE MEDUSA MYTH AND THEN MAKE HER HAVE REFLECTIVE SHIT THATS NOT A CAMERA LENS

another another: "you are concerned that i would hold a grudge against you simply because you are a daughter of athena?" that. is what happens in the books yes. you hold a grudge against annabeth and you try and manipulate/groom percy bc you loved poseidon

grover was the only one not enticed by aunty em's magic/mist/food, which was odd, bc hes eaten most everything before and hinted that something was off. bc yknow in the books they DIDNT KNOW IT WAS MEDUSA TIL THEY ALMOST DIED

why was there a bell on her home door. why is her home next to her store

sally empathizing with medusa? fine. her not telling percy all of the different myth versions? not fine.

"i think we can trust her" is literally medusa

have i mentioned the poor travelling orphan circus bc i miss that

GROVER SHOULDNT CARE ABOUT HAMBURGER SMELL??? HES VEGETARIAN???

oh right zeus just not striking down the two vehicles. makes sense, he doesnt have his bolt for a precision strike, but come on

was this where we got "names have power"? i dont remember if its here or not at all. especially since they continue to say names. and yes this was in the book i know its both funny and smack-my-head-against-the-wall worthy throughout the series

copy paste: "youre not the frightened little girl i came for all those years ago" yeah you didnt go for annabeth. you went for thalia. you got what you wanted (maybe not entirely but whatever). the fuck are you ON about alecto

annabeth not knowing how to function in a gas station was good and funny and sad

carrying the shoes in the box btw? terrible. shouldve immediately given them to grover before leaving camp. or. better yet. luke shouldve had witnesses for giving the shoes to percy so it wouldve been immediate

FORGOT ARGUS WASNT IN THIS. DISAPPOINTED

copy paste: "do exactly as i say" im not sure i like how theyre trying to portray the bossiness of annabeth. its different but its still the same level of bossiness. "are we clear?" honey you havent been outside camp since you were SEVEN. youre TWELVE. get OVER YOURSELF

"she met a pinecone's fate" was fucking hilarious and i will not hear otherwise

annabeth saying goodbye to thalia is fantastic

"i thought about choosing you before i chose grover" I HATE THE CHANGES THEY DID TO GETTING THE QUEST. percy chooses grover IMMEDIATELY and is all "oh jee willikers i wonder who would be stupid enough to volunteer for this surely deadly quest" and annabeth rips her hat off and half forces herself on the quest (she was pushy but percy did agree so. half.). there wasnt the 'telling the entire head of cabins' there wasnt 'debating on luke' THERE WASNT ANY OF THAT SHIT

poor canada. that shade is meant to be next season with the cannibals and oh wait theres probably not gonna be cannibals bc "kids show". right. chuck e cheese was a good fuckin joke tho

chiron isnt that straight forward that he suspects hades and that the entrance to the underworld is in la. small thing but D: hes a teacher he should still have the 'lead the kids to the answer' instinct

now for eps 1 & 2 i didnt make live notes, i did it hours after watching them, so ill definitely miss shit

no myth to make zeus thinking poseidon would genuinely want to unseat him actually make sense

no storm getting past the barrier, no campers reaction to that, no calling zeus crazy

NO DOLPHIN THREAT D:

i hated that there was nothing between his claiming and the quest. wheres the alienating. wheres the dislike. wheres the new expectations & disgust & fear. WHERES THAT DAMN NEWSPAPER

also hated how there was NO HELLHOUND

no nemesis foreshadowing (ik rick got her wrong at first, saying she was a god n not a goddess, and it might not have been intentional but ethan nakamura sure was important)

no talking about zeus, hera, artemis, & hades cabins??? for some reason???

no balanced sword talk

NO BLUE CHERRY COKE WHAT THE FUCK

no monsters stoked in the woods, no harpies, no naiads, no "Not a single living thing."

no talk about how monsters revive, no talk of the move west, no mention of chiron age & still being needed as a teacher of heroes. also NO STELE. WHYYYYY

there was no pull to poseidon's cabin

THERE WAS NO HESTIA. IM SO PISSED

why did grover have to TELL percy that his mom might still be alive. percy IMMEDIATELY thinks that when he gets the idea that maybe this greek shit is real. or, at least, he thinks he can get her back

the hermes cabin was not NEARLY crowded enough. its meant to be FILLED. its meant to be BARELY ANY WALKING SPACE. not. like. maybe three kids on the floor. plus no laughter at percy asking when hes gonna get claimed

no mention of the romans???

percy didnt really??? go through a denial phase in the show??? for some reason???

personal opinion: i couldnt even get through the dionysus talk btw. too awkward. i skimmed the subtitles & didnt have my headphones on

the only mention of capital G god & the metaphysical & the Gods was when percy thought he was the second coming of christ. that was funny ill give you that. however. wheres the overwhelming lore dump

was there? a science talk? i dont think there was. whyy

for some reason they didnt get into mr d's restriction all that much

BARELY ANY GROVER FEARING MR D. NO MR D & SATYR CONNECTION

no ambrosia no nectar no grover bleating

theres been no cursing in greek or latin so far btw. why. i feel like you could ask plenty of people for a good translation, if the ogs sucked. and im sure the kids could get a good enough score from people who speak greek/ancient greek and latin

there was no memory of poseidon seeing percy as a baby???

no nature magic thing with percy replicating the thing grover did on the bus at gabe and having the door slam him. maybe bc rick didnt think that made much sense since its never shown again but that was Funny

gabe seems less like an abusive drunkard and more like a dirty loser (yes ik he restricts/feels entitled to all comunication & financial whatnot & that is abuse but so far (AS OF EPISODE SEVEN (7)) he doesnt deserve to get turned to stone for that)

ive basically already mentioned everything else previous except: percy vaporizing alecto bc anaklusmos just so happened to be opening in a way where alecto was in the way? and that made her die? wheres the instinct??? i dont care if percy's visibly shit at swinging that sword, there shouldve been the instinct to get up and swing

lastly: anaklusmos shouldve been given back after alecto & returned before quest. using her during the minotaur was useless and, again, didnt show the power boost percy gets from all water (rain)

now on the names topic: im not saying br-oo-ner. its spelt brun-er, i say brun-er. they also say th-augh-lee-ah. i will still say th-AH-lee-ah

i will just reiterate this is for fun. this is fun for me and if youve read all of this then it should be fun for you, too, to complain/discuss this. if its not and youre genuinely pissed off with my observations: i do not care. barely anything you say will change my opinions/observations, and if youre aggressive im immediately throwing your opinion away. this is fun for me. this is how i have fun. this is a saltwater fountain to those that also have fun discussin/breaking shit apart. if you dont find it fun, then go enjoy your olive branch away from here

to anyone that also has fun with this: tear my observations apart. tell me everything that i got wrong bc i only read some books years ago. dont worry about spoiling me. i dont care about spoilers. i prefer all the info upfront instead of gatekept behind "but itll ruin your experience when you read it for the first time!!!!" i spoiled myself about who nico's dad was when i was on sea of monsters okay im fine. i know jason's circumstances in trials of apollo. i might not know everything that happened in house of hades (or anything about trials and later) but that shouldnt stop you.

ill state again: i like the show. the show's alright. im not sure id call it good because ive read the books & i do prefer book lightning thief to the show. but i like it and am hoping it gets more seasons. i hope we at least finish last olympian, but i would like to see hoo get adapted.

some of these are complaining for the sake of it (down to a grain of sand), some of these are actual criticisms about the adaptation (the removal of the foreshadowing that was in the books & abscense of groundworks for later books & hoo (yes i saw the kids with purple shirts in the lotus scene thats not enough)), some mightve been criticisms of it as a show (plenty of people have mentioned that the pacing is bad, i didnt want to focus on it). it's all in good fun

i do have a thought though: This could've easily been a rewritten book. In fact, it would've been far better as a rewritten, first-person limited book. I think it would've taken less time (able to just write your vision and not have barely any stage directions as your only descriptors & run it by writers, directors, actors, etc.), less money (12-15 MILLION usd per EPISODE??? compared to a writing program & looking for someone to publish it???), and would've taken less time (writing, waiting for approval, casting, booking, filming, post production, waiting, uploading, waiting for renewal, repeat. compared to writing at your own speed & publishing whenever (possibly even waiting until enough books are done?)). My reading fanfic more than traditional books/watching shows/movies definitely affects my opinion, I will readily admit that. But I think my own imagination of the happenings in the book would've been fine. Would there be new fans? Probably not as many. Would old fans come back? Again, probably not as many. Would it have been better? I think so.

TLDR: there were more neutral changes than good ones, a lot weren't good (comparatively), some were funny, some got rid of the funny, this is fun for me and if it wasn't for you then L. die madge. i want to hear other's opinions though. and i think this show should've been a rewritten first-person book and not a tv show.

[sky-kenobye]

15 questions for 15 friends

Thanks @fangeek-girl for the tag! <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope!

2. When was the last time you cried?

Hmm 🤔 I'm not sure tbh, maybe last week? Two weeks ago? Less than a month most likely. Just felt bad about myself and had a good cry.

3. Do you have kids?

No kids, nor do I want any.

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

Dance (contemporary and a bit of modern jazz) when I was a kid but I didn't learn much even though i started when i was 3 or 4 i think, and did maybe 8(?) years of it.

Circus for 9 years.

Taekwondo for 2 years (I think you're supposed to be a yellow belt after only two years but my teacher gave me the blue belt so 🤷 guess I'm a blue belt).

Self defense for 1 year.

And ski and snowboard since I grew up in the alps though I barely took any classes, mostly just with my parents.

(☝️ This is making me look super sporty even though I'm really not lol)

(+ all the sports I had to do in PE class in school. I really liked rock climbing, orienteering and step aerobics)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

All the time!

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Either clothes or hair I think? I'm not very observant or a good judge of character so it has to be something obvious.

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue 🧿🧿

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings! I don't really like scary movies, though I love suspens and action that get you on the edge of your seat.

9. Any talents?

I have pretty fast reflex? Not sure that's a talent but I'm good at games where you have to catch something or put cards down faster than the other players. Actually I'm good at board games in general (unless I'm playing against my brother, he's way better that me).

10. Where were you born?

In the french alps 🇨🇵🏔

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading (I wish it was more books (it used to be) but honestly most of the time it's mostly fics), playing video games, sewing, knitting, crocheting, random arts and crafts that I'll drop a week later, watching movies and going to the cinema, astronomy (mostly just stargazing so far but one day I'll buy a telescope), playing board games, travelling (does it count as a hobby?), daydreaming about star wars characters...

12. Do you have any pets?

Sort of? I've always had cats at my mom's house but since I moved out it's mostly my mom's cat? But it's also mine and my sister's. Idk it's our cat.

(My mom also has a dog but that's her dog, not mine)

13. How tall are you?

169 cm (which is 5'6" or 5'7" i think)

14. Favourite subject in school?

Maths and Latin

(I was also very good at physics but I didn't love it for some reason, even though that was the most interesting)

15. Dream job?

Prop guy or costume maker in movies (not the designers, the people who actually make the stuff). Or somehow living off of making cosplay and stuff like that (through YouTube and Instagram I guess).

(I'm not actually trying to do any of that though, I don't think I have the skills to do it)

I'm tagging @grapenehifics @piecesofeden11 @willameena @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart @renlyslittlerose @cottonraincoat @to-proudly-go @kingdomvel @desmothene @hausofroxann @amadwinter @ineffable-snowman @tideswept @sendpseuds @yourfavoritefridge

(No pressure of course, as always)

[deluxewhump]

Erik's Journals pt 4 (2016-2018)

Content Warning for entire series: institutionalized slavery of a minor (11-18), emotional abuse and manipulation, dubious comfort, pet whump, disordered eating, violence, guns, mutilation (off screen, no main characters), corporal punishment, sexual content/dubcon ( character is 18+), broken bones, death of a parent, unreliable narrator

6. From the Palm of Your Hand

December 2016 

I regret to report I am in a battle of wills with my own (and only) pet. Perhaps you can sift through these archives and find where I went wrong, but I can’t pinpoint my own mistake. I am likely too close to it.

A year ago, in protest of being made to go out in the warehouse for a meager twenty hours per week or so, Carlo stopped eating. He would drink only water. I noticed this probably a day or so after it began, and my staff confirmed he had not touched anything served to him, nor had anything appeared to have been taken from the fridge, or the pantry. Upon questioning, they informed me he said he didn’t feel well.

I questioned him myself. We were snowed in thoroughly on Wednesday, the day before Christmas Eve, and I did not require my workers to report. Nor had I sent Carlo outside. If he was sick, I wouldn’t have made him go outside anyway. I knocked softly and let myself in. He didn’t look up.

“Lo,” I said, sitting on the side of his bed and feeling his forehead. He was cool to the touch. “What’s wrong?”

He wouldn’t look at me. He didn’t close the paperback he was reading, just slid it over a foot to make room for me.

“Are you sick? I’ll call Doctor Stern to have a look at you.”

“No, Sir.”

“Why have you not eaten? They say it’s been several days, by their estimation.”

“Whose?” he asked irritably.

“The staff, Carlo,” I answered, letting some of the gentleness drop from my voice. I put my finger under his chin, forcing his face up.

“I don’t want to eat,” he said, moving his lips as little as possible. “I’m not going to eat.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

He rolled his eyes. Rolled his eyes. At me. “I have a bet with Keith.”

“I don’t care. Keith answers to me, too.”

“So you tell him to force feed me rotten food?”

I removed my hand from his chin. He dropped his eyes back down to the book, but they didn’t move across the page. His cheeks grew slightly pink.

“What?”

He shrugged an insolent shoulder.

“Well now you’ve told me, so go on and tell me. Keith forced you to eat spoiled food?”

“He watched,” Carlo said reluctantly. “Helped.”

“Did any of them touch you? Besides Keith? Any of the men on the grounds?”

He gave a resoundingly teenaged response. “What do you care?”

My eyebrows raised. “You’ll find I care very much. They are under strict orders not to lay a finger on you, Carlo. I made it very clear. Need I remind you what happened after the time with your finger? That little accident?”

I had reviewed the footage and corroborated his story, temporarily dismissed Keith without pay, and promoted another in his stead. Keith’s ego was bruised, but he is an asset to me. After a sufficient length of time, I let him return. 

“One of them just touched my face,” he mumbled, like he wanted nothing more than to backtrack, now that he had my full attention. “Grabbed me, kinda.”

“One of the men grabbed your face?” I asked for clarity.

Carlo reached up and took my own face in his hand, about the mouth like he was going to try and force it open. Like one would hold a dog to try and get it to swallow a pill. There was no force behind his cool, soft grip. “Like that.”

I held his wrist, pulling his hand down enough to press a chaste kiss to his large, bony knuckles. His mouth parted in surprise as I lowered his hand back down. I rarely kissed him, and if I did it was on the top of his head, or more rarely these days, on his soft cheek.

“You’re going to come with me,” I told him. “And I’m going to feed you, and you’re going to eat. Don’t look at me like that, this is not a punishment. Then I’m going to fire the man who touched you, and suspend the Christmas bonus for the rest of them.”

“Don’t do that,” he whispered, pleading eyes lifting to mine.

“Why? Are you feeling sentimental now?”

“They’ll take it out on me,” he replied, a concern that was both practical and correct. I had to smile. He was learning out there, after all.

“Fair enough. I won’t punish all of them, for your sake.”

I ordered a plate of small, plain sandwiches sent up to my study. I sat in a wingback armchair and put the food on a table between us. 

He sat with his legs tucked under him and ate three small rectangular sandwiches, cold white bread and thin cuts of prosciutto, pale cheese. When he was full, he sighed and laid his dark head on the side of the armchair. 

“I’m sorry, Papa.”

I had not expected to hear the familial nickname he had sometimes called me years ago, when he was still small and sweet. “For what?” I asked. 

“For ratting on the guys.”

“You didn’t. I asked,” I told him by way of absolution.

At the time, I thought I had ended his hunger strike. But a year later, they have grown to be his favorite form of protest, of self harm. I have threatened to put him on a feeding tube, threatened to beat him, threatened to take away water until he relents. I have not done any of these things yet, as I am deciding which is the best course of action, and I do not like to act in anger. A pet must see their master as calculating, capable, and rational. Failure at that level brings failure at all others.

I lectured him, asked him gently, tried to coax him into eating something from my fingers. I’ve guilted him, scolded him, and tried to appeal to his higher reason until, caught up in my own rhetoric, I slapped him across the cheek and tears ran down his face, but still he did not relent.

In a way I admire him for this. He grows ever more difficult to control, and yet has never lost his temper, never screamed at me or attempted violence, like he has with Keith. He likened me to the Gestapo the other day, which genuinely made me laugh despite my mood. But these days and days of not eating, I cannot allow to continue. He is visibly thinner, and it pains me to watch. I think I will go the way of the feeding tube, and have him sedated for a while. If it happens again, I will try another approach.

Footnote:

I told him of my plan for the feeding tube and explained how it would work. Dr Stern was on his way before Carlo believed me— it took him hearing a conversation on speakerphone. He begged me not to do it, and said he’d eat. I reminded him that Doctor Stern was a busy man, that he was on his way with the equipment and had cleared an afternoon for me. Carlo apologized, frantic, pale, even breaking out his old word Papa as a whispered plea, hoping to appeal to my love for him. 

I should have forced him, to make a point. I should have ordered him to allow the doctor to sedate him, puppy dog eyes and all, to endure the humiliating lack of autonomy in having a tube pushed down his throat against his will, forcing calories into his bloodstream, but I did not.

I called Stern and apologized for the inconvenience. I didn’t say why, or tell him that Carlo had capitulated, because Caro was listening and I wanted him to feel like I was the merciful and considerate keeper of his privacy. He pressed himself against my chest and whimpered in relief in my arms. That evening, he ate dinner with myself and Mathilde at the table, and locked eyes with me as he spooned a forkful of red velvet cake the color of fresh liver into his incorrigible little mouth.

7. What Village

July 2017 

I try to keep Carlo away from Martin Olsen. Martin, the other half-owner of O&H, has always been too interested in him. But the other day, their proximity happened by chance.

My first floor study is a long, rectangular room with dark walls of mahogany wainscoting and recessed bookshelves, a stone hearth that lies cold and dormant in summer months, and a wide arched window on the far wall that looks out to the lawn. Carlo likes to sprawl across the green chaise lounge in front of the window to read, which is where we happened upon him as we entered. 

He looked up and saw me first, then Martin. I saw his eyes change when he realized my friend was with me. He knew Martin, knew the way his pale eyes followed him around a room. He hurried to push himself off his belly and sit upright. 

“A reader,” Martin observed as we entered. “Interesting hobby for a pet.”

I had Carlo serve us each a drink from the bar cart on the far wall. Martin waited a little too long before accepting the glass, forcing Carlo to make eye contact with him. 

We continued a conversation for a while about goings-on in the company, Carlo standing like a servant a few feet from where I sat, hands folded in front of him and head demurely down. 

At a lull in our conversation, Martin regarded Carlo and looked as if he’d put a candy in his mouth and found it too sour. “He’s a bit… well… willful isn’t the right word. He does all the right things, but there’s contempt when he looks me in the eyes. He could learn to hide it better. Or better yet, have it pulled out at the roots.”

Carlo maintained all his composure, but I knew his tells, saw the way he dropped his eyes to the floor and the way his breath came tighter, self conscious of every cell of his being. I pulled him closer to me by the sleeve, wrapped my arm around his slim waist.

I loved his contempt for Martin, in that moment. Maybe because it wasn’t for me. Maybe because he knew in his bones Martin would be a worse fate for him. I loved that little fire in him, so carefully guarded. 

“Your own pets may be numb to your snipes, Martin, but mine is still quite sensitive to both criticism and praise. Both of which should come exclusively from me.”

Martin shrugged, smiling. “It takes a village.”

I laughed at his odd use of the phrase. “It absolutely does not. Does it, Carlo?”

Carlo looked at me imploringly, begging not to be put in the middle of any of my conversations with friends or colleagues. 

“No, Sir.”

“A non-answer,” Martin grinned, and Carlo dropped his eyes again. 

“A good answer.”

“Do you punish him?” Martin asked casually. 

I felt him tense under my hand. 

“My views on the carrot versus the stick is not something I wish to discuss,” I answered. “With you, or anyone else.” 

I like to let him keep his little fire.  Martin sighed and kicked one leg out to rest his shoe on my table. “I had to break my little Sola’s heart the other night. He broke my espresso machine, you know that one I had imported? Snapped the steamer clean off. Careless. I hate carelessness. I put his hand to the stove burner for a few seconds, maybe that will help him remember his focus in the future, but I doubt it. At my wits end with that one.”

Carlo, usually so in control of his expressions these days, flinched visibly. I saw the flicker of horror in his eyes before he masked it. 

“Sola doesn’t strike me as willfully belligerent,” I said. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to.”

”It’s not belligerence I was reacting to. Like I said, carelessness. Do you want to borrow him? Maybe you’ve got tactics I don’t. I’m sure this one wouldn’t break a three thousand dollar machine. Why is it you never share?” 

“This one? Oh, afraid not.”

“You could’ve gotten one just like him, good to go. Why the long game?”

“I don’t think that’s strictly true. I couldn’t have gotten one just like him. You can’t buy something you handmade yourself— it’s already yours.”

Carlo’s neck had grown warm under my hand. Was it because of the way we were speaking about him, or had I simply noticed his body heat after sharing it with my palm?

"Is he in your will?”

“Are you hoping I die now?” I might have been annoyed if Martin wasn’t such an old friend. 

Martin laughed. “No. No. Just curious what would happen to something so dear to you in the unlikely event of your demise.”

“Don’t worry about my legal affairs,” I said lightly. “Or my pet.”

Later, when Martin was gone, I invited Carlo to eat with me in the dining room.

“I’m sorry,” he said, fork poised over a flake of salmon.  “Are you? What for?”

”What Martin Olsen said.”

I admit I wanted to hear him say the word. “What part?”

”The…contempt. I didn’t…” he trailed off when he saw my smile. I took my time chewing, took a sip of water.  “Martin keeps his household with fear. He needs it as much as he enjoys it. I know you sense that.”

He watched me carefully. “He burned his pet on the stove for a mistake? An accident?”

“Yes. And do you know what that gets him?”

“Obedience?”

“Hatred. Fear and more fear, the serpent that consumes itself. I’d prefer to think I have a piece, a little sliver, a moonbeam of your love.”

He looked at me guardedly, like he’d never seen me before and was afraid I was an apparition. “You have it.”

I reached for a slice of bread. “I enjoy your contempt for men like Martin. You’re a spitfire at heart, Carlo, I know that.”

He blinked at me, unsuspecting of this strange praise and unsure how to handle it. “I…I don’t have contempt for you,” he said, sensing a veiled danger. 

“You do. But. You also give me your softness. Your thoughts. Your trust.” “Does that cancel out contempt?”

I laughed softly. “In this case, it may. Don’t look so worried. Eat.”

July 2017, Post Script

Martin sent Sola to me the following week. I told him I wasn’t interested in the armchair psychoanalysis of his pet, or any of the “different tactics” he had spoken of. He said that was fine, he just wanted him out of his sight for a while. 

So I gave Sola a cot in the laundry room (it’s a spacious room, has a window and is rather pleasant smelling due to the laundry) and told him to shadow Anna, and do whatever he could to help her out. 

He stays out of the way. He speaks only when spoken to (in my presence at least). I don’t know what is between him and Martin. Martin can be obsessive, perhaps it’s just as simple that. Sometimes I think he takes out what he cannot take out on our business on his son and his and pets. 

Carlo had a twinge of jealousy about another pet in the house, even after I told him it was probably only going to be a week, two at most. 

We played our usual Sunday night game in my study, which started when he was younger with Gin Rummy and lately was 7 Wonders Duel. He sat with his legs drawn up in a pale green Charlemagne chair, resting his chin on his knees to study the board. 

“Have you talked to him?” he asked unassumingly. 

“Sorry?”

“Sola.”

“Ah.” I placed two coins in the bank to procure a Garrison card for my city. “Not in the way you mean. I have no interest in playing therapist or referee for Martin and his pets.”

“Do you like him?” 

“He’s fine. You’re sorely neglecting your military operations, Lo.”

“They aren’t as important as you think.”

I took a sip of brandy. It was near midnight, and raining so hard the study windows appeared covered in a single sheet of water rather than rivulets.  “You’re right. I should diversify my efforts.”

“It’s your Army background.”

Despite his willingness to joke, he still looked drawn and distracted. “You don’t need to worry about our guest,” I said with a quiet air of finality. 

“I’m not. That’s just it. I probably should be. I should talk to him. I keep thinking about if I were him, how I would feel getting abandoned in Mr Olsen’s house for a few weeks. It’d be the right thing to do.”

“Why don’t you?”

“I don’t want to. I want to ignore him.”

“Only-child syndrome.”

He pouted openly.

“It’s a short visit. A favor.”

“You’re not going to keep him, are you?”

I laughed humorlessly. “No. I don’t need or want another pet. Besides, I don’t care for dead-eyed blonds.”

He failed to suppress a grin, recognizing the slight as a backhanded compliment to himself. 

“Now draw, before I get impatient,” I said with utmost tolerance.  

He drew, considered, and purchased a courthouse. 

“What good is a courthouse when I invade and raze your city?” I asked. 

“I can try you for war crimes in it.”

“Your dedication to civic growth is commendable, but it won’t stop me from winning.”

“You’re not winning.”  He perched his chin back on his knee and added, “Respectfully.” 

8. It's Torn Where There's Mercy

January 2018 

Carlo does not dare outright refuse to eat, because he knows I will have him sedated and tube fed. Regrettably, one night, I threatened to intubate him as well, because I could tell he was undereating as a way to self harm. A way to control his own body, his surroundings. Me. The threat was baseless, but hit a nerve. He got angry with me and said Dr Stern was a fake, and that his old doctor, Amalfi, had been too.

Calmly, I asked him where he got this idea. Dr Stern’s credentials are not only adequate, but impressive.

“What kind of medical doctor would sedate someone in their house, against their will?” he asked hotly. “For no medical reason? What happened to ‘do no harm’?”

Now he was misapplying the Hippocratic oath at me— as if the conventions of free society applied to him. “There is a medical reason. You are harming yourself by refusing to eat anything at all.”

“It’s only been three days,” he said, ready for me.

I closed my laptop to give him my full attention. Sometimes that was too much for him, and he would back down.

“I’m not medically underweight. I’m not in danger of anything. And even if I eventually was, they’d need to evaluate that first.”

Quaint. He did research.

“Dr Stern is going to evaluate you.”

“Here? Who does that!”

“I do.”

“Not in a hospital, or a psychiatric ward?” He huffed, and the agitation was admittedly charming on him. Would be charming, if it weren’t so troublesome. “Fucking quack.”

“Carlo,” I hissed at the language. “Absolutely not.”

He gave me a guilty glance. He was silent, his temple jumping with the strain of keeping his mouth shut. I let a period of silence stretch out for what might have been sixty seconds, but felt like much longer. I wasn’t angry with him until he swore. The boy is smart, he’s going to take issue with things now and then. What he doesn’t need to do is adopt the grammar of the men in the warehouse and bring it into my house like muddy shoes. I can say fucking, but in the mouth of a pet it is ugly and uncalled for. At least in my presence.

When I spoke again, I let a detached coolness dictate my tone. “You will break your little fast tonight. In addition, you will take only cold showers until I tell you otherwise. And I mean that you can use the dial on the left only. Not lukewarm. Not mixed. Cold. If you defy this, or appear unbathed at any point, or if you continue to undereat in an unreasonable way, I will find something else for you to do that you will like a lot less.”

He looked as surprised as if I'd slapped him. “It’s the middle of winter.”

I raised my eyebrows and nodded. 

“You can’t do that,” he said weakly. We both knew I could, and much worse.

”Tell me you understand, or you can double your hours in the warehouse this week as well.”

”I understand.” 

“Good. But it still stands. Consider it a metaphor. I have always provided you excellent medical care every time you had so much as the sniffles, and this is how you behave? Over something I didn’t even do to you? Do you know how many pets are left to bleed and fester and die on their keepers watch? Do you know how they are treated in hospitals? That’s why I give you private care. That’s why I pay a highly qualified doctor a pretty penny to make house visits for you.

”You think you like starving? Think it’s a game? I could lock you in a room til you were begging on your hands and knees for scraps from my table. Ungrateful brat.”

I let that hang in the air for a moment. I resented him for making me compare myself to other pet owners, comparing him to other pets in the process. I know he knows the ways of the world outside these gates. I shouldn’t have to remind him of my relative mercy, how much autonomy I give him. 

“Convince me to give you the privilege of my hot water back.”

I half expected him to argue with me. I think part of him wanted to. The gentler, better trained half of him won out, and he nodded.

“What do you say?”

“Yes, Sir.” Reluctantly, he added, "I'm sorry."

“I’m not interested in that just now. Go.”

Obediently, he left the room.

I don’t want to hurt him, to cause him undue pain. But he is seventeen, and soon will be whoever he is going to be, for the most part. I don’t hold it against him entirely. These things happen. I’d have been more surprised if they hadn’t. But I am exasperated. 

I could have pointed out there are no psychiatric wards for pets, they get thrown into basements if they’re lucky, and shot in the back of the head if they’re not. Or sold to the lowest bidder to be tortured to death by whoever would pay for a turn. Need I remind him of the things he’s seen? 

But again. I am not trying to break him so badly that he is not something I want to spend time with, when I am finished. It is, regrettably, an art.

He could still go either way.

Postscript:

It is worth noting that Carlo got sick several days after I implemented the cold shower rule. I feel he may have opened his window at night to encourage this. It has been a bitter January. I tended to him, and I made him take a warm bath that I drew myself in the clawfoot tub on the second floor. 

“I didn’t get it back yet,” he said weakly, his head pressed against the porcelain ledge of the tub. I knew he meant the hot water.

“Shh. You have whatever you need right now, Carlo.”

I pet his head. His curls were not yet wet. “Do you need help?”

He lifted his cheek, red from the indent of the tub. His eyes were bleary, poor thing. He reminded me of when he was small. “No,” he said. “M’okay.”

I left him alone to finish, and when he was done he came into my office and curled up in the armchair by the fireplace until his hair dried in soft clean waves about his face and he fell asleep.

He could’ve gone anywhere. It felt like a truce.

9. Rare Stars

"They put me in mind of those wild things we would try in the desert to tame and that would stare at us, eat the food and drink the water we set out for them, and would spring at our throats when we made a move to stroke them. " -Antoine de Saint-Exupery; Wind, Sand, and Stars

July 2018

I’ve never punished Carlo in the sense that most people who keep a pet mean it. I’ve always tried to have clear rules, so that he would not constantly be breaking them or displeasing me without fully intending to do it. I’ve spoken to others who purposefully make the line hard to discern, simply to have a frequent reason to punish or beat or torture their pet. They think this is the only way to maintain control, to keep them in line. Maybe it is, if that’s what they truly want.

I remembered one of my colleagues talking at a party, long ago now, about a jar he filled with slips of paper. On the folded scraps were written punishments, from the tame and familiar to the rather medievally horrific. When a pet missteps in his household, he makes them draw their own punishment from the jar, not knowing what sort of consequences their indiscretion might bring on them. He told me, his mouth full of shrimp cocktail in a way that left me wanting to take an impolite step back so I would not be able to smell it, that he once hung a pet upside down by his ankles for four hours for breaking a dish. Shaved the beautiful golden head of his girl pet for forgetting to call him Sir at the dinner table.

He seemed proud, in the telling of it. “It seems to me you’ve cut off your nose to spite your face more than once,” I told him as he scooped another anemic comma of shrimp into a dish of cold sauce. “On their toes,” he said as he dropped it into his mouth. “Keeps them right on their toes. Only way.” 

It did surprise me when Carlo left my property without permission. He didn’t go far, and I believe him when he says he wasn’t meeting anyone. I did check the devices he has access to for any breadcrumbs. No correspondences that I could find. No searches or material indicated he had larger ideas of making some ill-advised break for it. He’s smart enough to know he faces greater danger out there, without any paperwork and legally belonging to me, than he faces inside the walls of this house.

But rules are rules. If I don’t enforce them, they are just requests.  

I confronted him about the unauthorized wandering. He knew he was caught, and admitted to it immediately. He’d been to a bookstore, the park, and a restaurant before returning. He’d been gone for four hours. 

I sighed as he stood there, caught and not fighting it. Resigned as a prisoner. “Carlo, you should’ve asked me. I would’ve let you go. I would’ve given you my driver for the morning. It would be safer than walking and public transportation. Too many powerful people know what you look like in this county. Know who you belong to.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“Why, then? Why the secrecy? I thought you’d had a change of heart.”

I’d given him back his use of hot water. He’d been too stubborn to ask, so I’d simply told him all was forgiven so long as he didn’t stop eating again. 

He thought about it before answering me. “I wanted to go on my own. I didn’t want to take an authorized field trip. I just wanted to go to the store. Hang out somewhere where it was busy.”

Hang out. I can understand that. He’s a smart boy. He knows enough of the world to want to interact with it in normal ways. I knew this would happen when I let him have his internet, his books. When I took him into cities with me as a companion. Even when I put him out with the men in the warehouse. This is the price for the way I chose to educate him. And halfway between eighteen and nineteen, he is looking more and more grown every day.

“I understand,” I said coolly. “But you must understand the position I’m in now.”

He didn’t look at me.

“I have to punish you for this, Lo,” I said with a chilly calm I knew was frightening to him. 

He did glance at me then. 

“Yes?” I asked. “Speak.”

“I know. Yes, Sir.”

“Alright. Now, then. C’mon. Up.”

I took him into the master bedroom and had him strip to his underwear. His hands shook as he undid his pants. I chose a belt from my closet and had him lie on the end of the bed. He pressed his cheek to the comforter, took a steadying breath and let it out slowly, like a man sentenced to a whipping. I brought the belt into his line of vision to show him.  

“I’m going to give you thirty strikes with this,” I said calmly, though my own heart rate had picked up. Hurting him was not something I am used to. It is not a normal occurrence, in our relationship to each other. 

“When I’m done, that will be the end of it. If you do it again, I will have to think of another punishment, and it will be more severe. I don’t like that I’m doing this, Carlo. You’re better than this.”

With no comment, he lay his arms at an angle, elbows bent above his head. 

“I’m going to hit you here,” I said, placing my hand on the back of his thigh. “If you stay relatively still, you will ensure I don’t hit your back by mistake.”

“Buckle?” he asked nervously. 

I was disappointed he would even ask me that. “No, Carlo. Of course not.”

He nodded, and closed his eyes. 

I adjusted my grip on the belt and struck with half my force. The leather end landed across the backs of his thighs with a crack that echoed off the corners of the room. He flinched. 

The next time I put more force into it. The skin began to turn pink. By my fourth blow I had gotten the force right, and my aim, and he whimpered sharply on impact. Five, six. He cried out, turning his face into the comforter and grabbing fistfuls of it in his hands. 

I struck him six more times, until the skin on his left thigh broke, just a nick that revealed slightly pinker skin beneath it. It did not bleed. He sobbed into the bed, but did not move. His arms were shaking. 

I dropped the belt to the floor. He flinched at the sound. 

“Easy,” I murmured as I set a hand on his back. The skin of his thighs was bright red, striped with rising welts. 

I rubbed circles on the small of his back. He went quiet but kept his fists balled in the comforter. 

I thought of when he was small and stole those sweets from my office. His little cherub face crying after I struck him on the back of the legs for it. My heart softened, as only he could seem to do to it anymore. 

“I changed my mind,” I told him. “Twelve is quite enough.”

He lifted his face to look back at me, eyes wet. “What?” he sniffed. It is not often I go back on my word. 

“That last one broke your skin, angel. I made my point. I have no intention of beating you bloody.”

His fists relaxed, knuckles white. He whimpered and set his cheek back on the bed. 

“Sit up.”

Slowly, gingerly, he pulled himself to a sitting position, wincing as the backs of his legs made contact with the bed. 

I stepped closer and put my hands on the sides of his face, tilting it up. 

“Let’s not repeat this anytime soon, shall we?”

“No,” he whispered, looking nakedly into my eyes. He’d taken the abbreviated beating without complaint. In my very few experiences giving Carlo corporal punishment, he accepts it stoically, but the pain itself is something he climbs under, feels deeply, and allows to run its course. This was no exception. He melts under a hand or a belt, masochistically accepting the punishment and coming out the other side of it temporarily meek, more open to me when he looks at me than before. 

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

And now he was looking for absolution. Comfort. 

“It was a very calculated act of disobedience you did, Carlo. It was not something simple or accidental, like a slip of the tongue.”

“You’ve never hit me for a slip of the tongue,” he said, and leaned his cheek into my palm.

I raised my eyebrows. Did he want me to hit him? Is that what this was about, even subconsciously? Did he want his little field trip and to be punished, too? I wondered, and not for the first time, if my corporal punishments are something akin to a staged BDSM scene for him, rather than a pet's punishment. He knows I don’t want to scar, maim, or seriously injure him. Perhaps I’ve made that too clear too many times. Even the smaller punishments I gave him when he was younger seemed to wake something up rather than discourage anything in him.  

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you enjoyed what just happened. Do you want the other eighteen I let you out of?”

He looked at me with those dark eyes, lashes still wet with tears. “No, Sir. Not… not that hard.”

I laughed. “But you’d take it if I was a little gentler? You want me to hurt you just the right amount, Goldilocks?”

He actually shrugged. God, I thought. This boy, this pet, had led me right to water and I’d taken the drink. I am in fact a terrible Master. Too lenient, too familiar. You should never buy a pet you love on first sight. That love will never leave you, and you will be as much slave to them as they are to you. 

“I ought to flip you back over and beat you bloody,” I told him smoothly. “Until you’re begging me to stop. Until your legs look like ground meat. You’ll have to beg me for an antibiotic just to keep your wounds from getting infected.” 

His eyebrows knit, unsettled by the image I’d painted for him. “N-no. I didn’t…”

“You didn’t mean that,” I finished for him. “Just that you’d like a little more of my attention than you’ve been getting lately. Is that it?”

His face reddened in my hands. I loved to draw his half veiled desires out in the open, tease at them until he was on the knife’s edge of want and shame. 

I thought of leaving him there. I thought of saying something to embarrass him, something about being eager or needy. But I would only be punishing him for my own weakness. 

Instead I took his shoulders and guided him back facedown on the bed. Unsure of what he’d done, he went down stiffly, his whole body tense as a violin string. 

“He wants his cake and to eat it, too, I muttered, grinning despite myself. 

I retrieved the belt from the floor and hit him higher up on his thighs this time, the most soft and sensitive skin available to me. I’d have made him strip naked, but I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Sexual humiliation was not a punishment I intended for him, regardless of whether he’d enjoy it or not at this point. 

The belt made a satisfying little snap. He flinched. I didn’t hit him as hard as before, but rather over and over, with just enough force to make him begin to whimper and turn slowly red. 

Soon he understood what was happening. I was not going to hit him harder, but I was unrelenting. The cumulative effect began to take its toll. A few times the belt snapped over the harsher hits from before, over his broken skin. After a while, I even aimed for it. 

His whimpers drew out longer and turned to moans. By the time my shoulder was fatigued, his entire upper thighs were as red and blotchy white as if he’d been burned. The broken skin was bleeding, though just enough to well up with blood like a scrape from asphalt. 

He was whimpering and mewling openly with each impact, though making no effort to get away from the relentless licks of my belt. I loved those pained sounds from him, the twitch of his hips on each impact, and the fact that some part of him wanted it from me amused me deeply. I always underestimate him. 

"Enough?” I asked finally. 

He shook his head yes against the bed, having cried and drooled a wet spot onto my covers. 

I sat on the edge of the bed next to his head. I put my hand in his curls and squeezed a tight fistful, drawing him up to look at me. He was a mess now, eyes bright and tears streaking down his cheeks, nose running, lips swollen and cherry red. 

“The next time you crave my attention, sweet thing…” I ran my forefinger up his cheek, through his tear tracks. “Ask me for it, and I’ll see what I can do.” 

He watched me put the tip of my finger to my tongue, tasting the salt.

Did I do it for him, or me? The first twelve were meant to be a real punishment, and I think they were, he didn’t like it when it was that hard. But he wasn’t afraid of it like he might’ve been when he was younger. Which begs the question: Did I want him to be? Not really. I’ve worked very hard for him to trust me on some levels. With his basic bodily safety and well-being, for one. With my touch, for another. 

To badly harm or to torture him would undo so much work. And I’m not a torturer. Even if I was, I wouldn’t do something so violent to an innocent boy. My innocent boy. 

But the second part, that was a game. I’m sure it hurt, and I’m sure it’s hurting today as I write this. But he asked for it, which I cannot get over. It surprises and amuses me to no end. I was done before he goaded me. If he’d asked me to stop, I think I would’ve. I suspect he wasn’t crying so much from pain but from the emotional heights and releases it brought along with it, at my hand. 

If he pulls more stunts just to be “punished” I’m going to find things he truly will not like. No books, no internet. Five AM twelve hour shifts in the warehouse and solitary in his empty room after that. I can go for weeks, little Lo, it hurts my feelings not at all. How long can you go? 

If he asked me to hit him again, I might. It’s not like it’s unpleasant. Quite the opposite. I just don’t want him doing idiotic stunts to get my attention. I’ve been neglecting him lately, more than usual. I’ve been busy. I suppose he just let me know— too busy. 

I’ll bring him with me to New York next week. Take him around, buy him a new coat. I’ll even let him go out on his own for a few hours, be a tourist. Hell, New York is safer for him than Baltimore. No one will recognize him in New York. It’s too big, and plenty far enough from home. 

Next

[kingofthering]

It's the first time I've seen a MotoGP race because your blog has intrigued me and I have some considerations.

1)the way until halfway through the race they were all stuck together was impressive, f1 could never

2)on board camera are the scariest things ever I almost died a lot of time

3)marc’s comeback was absolutely bananas and made the race much more interesting

that pedro guy was making the turns in a way that made no sense if you looked at the others but it was beautiful to see how tight he could turn

Making people start watching MotoGP is the best kind of legacy I could ask for, bless. This was so interesting to read.

1. Truly. I have to admit it’s not like that all of the time but MotoGP is much better at suspens and close fighting. If you enjoyed that, I would very much encourage you to watch Moto3 (where they overtake and change leaders constantly).

2. Big agree. I do love the variety of cams we get, tho.

3. As he said himself a couple of weeks ago, Marc Marquez is show. You can always trust him to make things interesting (even if those second part of the grid starts are way too stressful for me).

And yeah, Pedro was breaking late and using his own lines, which made Marc’s job of overtaking him harder. He’s an interesting little gremlin. Won his first Moto3 season in 2021, second Moto2 season in 2023, already scored some podiums in both sprints and Sunday races this season. One to watch for sure.

[mello-when-hi]

anyway just thinking about how Dream is like the sun and George is like the moon. i'm unwell about them, leave me be

One of them lives in the sunishine state and has energy to rival that of the sun. He has a big big heart and feels so much, there's constant attention, never a chance to get away. Always front and center, at the mercy of those he shines for. The sun only goes away during the day when the skies turn grey. Hell, Dream even loves like the sun. Bright and unbashedly, long limbs wrapped in tight embraces and his face split in a bright grin. Never shy about his affections, bold and brazen. Warm and comforting.

Then on the other hand there's the moon. Someone who can only be seen in phases, if only because to see him truly, all at once, is breathtaking. Not until he is perfectly aligned with the moon can he truly shine, the world left to stare in awe. The water itself has bent its will to that of the moon, the tides shifting and changing with each of its phases. Something as trivial as an ocean couldn't prevent their inevitable meeting. And his love is a little quieter, more secret. No less powerful, but reserved for one person, and one person alone.

And they're quite literaly as different as night and day, but one can't exist without the other. suspened in a balance that only they share, everyone else left to marvel. the sun and the moon kept safe in the heavens, making the world go 'round.

[sucheonapologist]

Sucheon x gender natural reader

The Reader's awakening power is that they can make their their drawings come to life! Similar to sai from Naruto but with colors! :D

Tw: cringe, bullying and kinda ooc?

Theme: enemies to lovers and crack

✜»✜«✜»✜«✜»✜«✜»✜

The two of you never got along ever since day 1.

Sucheon would constantly bully you and the rest for not being associated with any organization groups. However, you were lucky enough to be recommended by the shinhwa organization.

He was an absolute asshole in everyone's eyes since he's an arrogant midget bastard that always harrass the ones that are weaker and you loathed him for that.

" what's the matter? Gonna cry? " the midget known as sucheon teased as he looked down upon you. You clenched your fist in frustration, you were tired of getting bullied by someone who looks like Doberman as a pony. You immediately got up and and kicked his jewelry as his taller minions gasp at your boldness. Who were you to kick the grandson of Dusic Kang, the former CEO of baekdu organization group?!

Sucheon gripped his jewelry as one of his taller minions was about to approach you, to avenge their short king, but he stretched out one of his his arm to stop them. " If you wanted to fight just say so, I wouldn't hesitate to accept the offer! " sucheon exclaimed while you only scoff at him " You can crawl into tight spaces like all those little rodents. You should consider it as your second awakening ability. " the insult earned another gasp from his taller sidekicks and it was his last straw, he hated it when people comment about his height and you knew about that.

Suddenly, you felt a strong force and immediately merge with the ground. Sucheon smirked at this and you only grinded your teeth at his impulsiveness. Lucky, there was someone who saw you, it was jiwoo and his friends who came to the rescue!

A strong gust of wind immediately send sucheon flying away as his back collided with the wall. Jiwoo immediately came to your aid and asked what happened, you explained to him how you were just taking a walk and bump onto sucheon. Subin and wooin sent glares at them which they also returned the glare.

Sucheon stand up, full of fury in his dark irises. He was about to come after the both of you but you immediately drew a tranquilizer gun and shot him causing him to collapse and kiss the ground. Their heads immediately turned to you, which you only sheepishly smiled in response.

" What? He was gonna use his awakening power on me! "

:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:

After that, you were being scolded by Inhyuk and forched you to apologize to sucheon on personal in the infirmary by yourself. You step inside the infirmary, only to be meet with sucheon's gaze of rage and fury while you only forcefully smiled at him in response with a slight apologetic look but he wasn't having that.

" What do you want? " he snarled like a territorial cat ready to fight his opponent but you bowed your head and this took him by surprise. "I'm here to apologize. " you confessed and a smirk creep it's way into his face" aw, and to think that the most stubborn and stupid lowly unhinge being I've ever encountered has bowed their head at me? Did you finally went to school and got a proper education? " He bad-mouthed you,finding it amusing that the person who loathed him and who refuses to bow their heads at them finally bowed their head at him, making him laughed at your patheticness. "WHY YO— you know what? Forget it. I take back what i said. I rather get suspen—" you were cut off by a familiar sudden force and you were now at sucheon's side facing him, his infamous smirk never fade away and this made you more irritated.

" Ah-ah-ah, wasn't your soul purpose here was to apologize to me? Go on, continue. "

Oh how you wish to wipe that smug look off his face and claim your victory, but unfortunately he was much more stronger than you, you took a deep breath and prepared to bury all your dignity and ego sixth feet underground.

As you were about to apologize, inhyuk opened the door " [Y/N], your mother is calling for you. Are you also done apologizing?" He informed you and ask at the same time, you were about to tell him that you weren't finished apologizing but sucheon already beat you at it "they're already done with the whole apologizing thing, so can the both of you leave now? " he answered, which made you confused but shrugged it off.

You turned your head to look at him again and whispered 'thanks' loud enough only for him hear which he only scoffed at and look away in response, you rolled your eyes at him and walked with inhyuk.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

A/n: hiii everyone!!! Merry Christmas to all! We finally had our Christmas break so I'm finally more free to write fan fiction!! Also, this is my first one-shot!!! Hope you guys like it?? :D

[sashoubou]

MY ULTIMATE FROSTIRON FANFIC REC LIST

Ok so I have heard the voice of the people ( @tasha-lemon ) and I have gone through my bookmarks to bring you the best I’ve read for my OTP (again, that is saying a lot for my polyA and multi-shipper ass). I love this ship because they go through the worse solid like there's no tomorrow.

Bend Around the Wind by Scyllaya

Aerielle has done a wonderful podfic of this very long story.

A canon divergent AU in which 2012 Loki is captured with Tony in a space opera with a lot of likeable and intriguing characters. The mage and the genius have to slowly build a crew, and trust. The story's main focus is the adventure but the intimate chapter are engraved in my mind and it’s worth the time you have to put into it.

Those Sinned Against by Arkada

An AU in which the Norse gods are space vikings invading the Earth. Tony is captured and offered to Loki as a gift. The two of them play multiple games with each other and their allies, but ultimately, they'll end up loyal to one another. The story explores a darker potential in Tony, which I love for him.

Hand In Mine, a series by Arkada

Begins as a PWP but turns into several lengthy stories in which Loki and Tony are in danger, but don't worry the stories end in comfort. Includes the best retelling of episode in which Loki has to sew his lips shut. The brotherhood between Thor and Loki will make you shed some tears.

Off the Record

Podfic of most of it by TheGroupofOne

Lots of treasons and turnarounds. Excellent study of characters.

Journey To The Past by melonbutterfly

An Anastasia AU ! The characterisation is on points for this Loki being an orphan. You can guess everything he's been through just by the way he reacts to his environnement. Also, badass Natasha.

Me and You (is who the future belongs to) by melonbutterfly

A short soulmate AU with Jötunn Loki by the same author, with a lovely world-building.

The Beginning of Something by melonbutterfly

A charming PWP :3.

Unholy Trinity, a series by SalamanderInk

Ok, here my kinks are showing. Tony strikes a deal with demon king Loki. Beautiful writing. Beautiful horns, wings, etc 🥵.

Nothing Ventured by iswyn

Speaking of kinks, a BDSM student/teacher AU (don't judge me it's my guilty pleasure).

His Dear Dead Flesh by usedupshiver

I hide this one between the other fics... Please mind the tags. Lots of taboo subjects, amoral story but wonderful writing, suspens and ending. Captivating. It's real creepy and yet it is soothing. I love it very much.

Taking the Fall by usedupshiver

A prison AU by the same author.

this tired world (could change) by AMidnightDreary, SalamanderArt (SalamanderInk)

Yesss a vampire/hunter AU. Made me cry 🥹.

Here you go peeps :)

[gxxdomen]

sometimes I think what terrified me so much in lunarpark even though I used to think its weird to be scared of books and of course the atmosphere and the suspens but I think it's about wet door knobs and "it's like someone sucked them" comment cause for a couple of pages I really thought that was Patrick Batemans spirit gnawing Brets door handles casually

[learning-to-think]

Tuesday 28th, May - Day ??? 5 after "last" deadline

Ok so. I submitted the internship report all fine. First session of exams is officially over.

The only deadline I've got left is for my prosody paper. It's not so much an extension as an agreement with the teacher that I wasn't submitting anything during the first session but would do so in the second session, kind of like retaking the exam. So I've got two weeks to get that prosody paper all done ✨

And in the meanwhile, it's yet to be revealed if I've got an internship next week or not lmao Because my syntax internship ends on June 5th 13th BUT there's no internship next week. so I wanted to start another internship next week. but apparently the admin doesn't like that the dates overlap. So we don't know if it's gonna be approved or not. Suspens!

To be honest, having a free week might not be such a bad thing. I love helping the research, and the meager money is nice, but having a full week to work on my paper? yeah, I'll take it gladly.

[wenellyb]

Me watching Plus & Minus:

Who knew Friends to Lovers storylines were this entertaining! I literally have to pose every 5 minutes to gasp. The tension, the suspens, the awkwardness and second hand embarrassement, it's all too much and I love it!

[douji-chan]

Demon Mikaela’s weapon

Well, i should warn you about this post is going to be short, but i think that this topic is not that mentioned by the fandom, but is actually an important clue, or whatever you say. (still i couldn’t find an exact meaning about it) Like i said, it’s my opinion. So i wanted to write about it, even tho it’s around 1,5 years late for that.

So, the topic is about Mika’s weapon, like you can see from the tittle. I guess this matter got suspened in the manga, after Mika’s new form, but like i said, i think it’s an important clue or sth.

A little note: I’ll call Mika we know as “Mika” and Shikama’s child as “Mikaela”.

When we look at the shape of Mika’s weapon, we can say that it looks like sign of the Cross. But more important thing is that it looks like a “Sinful Key”.

Even tho i don’t exactly know what kind of power it has in itself, we can see that it’s really harmful, at least, for the vampires.

Well we didn’t see Mika have fought with them that much (i mean he just fought Ashera and other demons but not for a long time.) so we don’t have that much information about how functional is this new weapon of his.

If we think, what does mean this sign which is referring to the Sinful Keys? We know that they appear when a seraph dies, so that might show us that there is a dead seraph, or maybe a power taken by a dead seraph? Or maybe he is the dead seraph. If we think the fact that Shikama was a seraph and so his child is, and he is dead, that sounds quite logical. And we have one more clue, and this is what happened when Mika accepted being a demon.

When he accepts being a demon, 6 wings appears on his back. So just like the seraph inside him, he is being free after a long time. Or maybe Mikaela is free now. Well I’m still ot sure about is Mika and Mikaela same, or is Mikaela inside Mika, or anything else, but these wings tell us, that Mikaela came back; still, it’s confusing that Mika’s weapon is like dead seraphs. Maybe it’s because Mikaela is still actually dead, not in “the spiritual world” but in “the physical world”? Who knows.

So, it was basically what i wanted to talk about, it’s a short theory according to what i said. Even though I think that it’s an underrated topic, I actually don’t have an certain thing to say, so I’m wondering your ideas more. So please write what do you think by comments! See you at another topic of theory!

[cottagehorror-lesbians-stuff]

jack in the box is definitely one of the best artistically executed albums of the bts members' discography. the coherence of the prod, the themes, the lyrics, the visuals... it is such a shame that it's largely underrated in the sense that not much people saw it as an interesting and delightfully executed work of art, as they expected a easily consumable album... anyway, jung hoseok dropped a gem. it's a genuinely good album. it is well-thought, well-written, it's meaningful and original. i definitely love the horror/suspens vibes the prod conveys through most of the song. we can feel uneasy at times, but it is such a nice experiment, a nice exploration, and it serves well the narrative of the album. genius move, that's all. might not be what the music industry is trying to sell, but is definitely enriching the genre.