#Surrogacy for Gay Parents

[surrogacyglobal]

Discover Hassle-Free Gay Surrogacy in Argentina

[eternal-echoes]

Child born through a surrogate and raised by two dads longs for a mom.

I wonder how many of these stories we will see in the future as children who grew up with gay parents become adults and write about their longing for a dad if they were raised by lesbian parents or a mom if they were raised by gay parents online since they probably feel like they can't share these feelings to their gay parents for fear of offending them.

I just hope that this girl realizes that her feelings are totally valid.

[spiderfaang]

Emery reminded me of how I need more trans hcs for wcs. Especially for cats who have children.

[coochiequeens]

Since surrogacy in the U.K. still involves significant restrictions, many intended parents choose to travel to the United States for the process instead," said UK dads Doug and Sanjay who chose to work with Illume Fertility after extensive online research and speaking with other LGBTQ+ parents who pursued surrogacy. Meaning gay men. Lesbians would just need a sperm donor to gave a kid.

May 8, 2025 4:38 PM

Founder, Medical Director and Partner at Illume Fertility Dr. Mark Leondires Moderated Panel on Finding and Selecting Your Egg Donor; Panelist on the Medical Aspects of Surrogacy

NORWALK, Conn., May 8, 2025 /PRNewswire/ -- Illume Fertility, a leading fertility practice in the tri-state area providing an exceptional patient experience and cutting-edge treatments from award-winning physicians to help patients achieve their fertility and family-building goals, this past weekend, attended Men Having Babies (MHB) Berlin, an international conference dedicated to providing gay men with educational and financial support to achieve parenthood through surrogacy.

Having treated patients from more than 50 countries with 1,500+ successful surrogacy journeys and 15,000+ babies born, Illume Fertility was on hand to provide leadership and guidance to the hundreds of attendees seeking parenting options. Founder, Medical Director and Partner at Illume Fertility Dr. Mark Leondires, moderated a panel entitled Finding and Selecting Your Egg Donor, as well as provided education at the Medical Aspects of Surrogacy, the conference's medical panel.

He shared, "We are incredibly proud to support the Men Having Babies conference in Berlin, which continues to open doors for intended fathers across Europe who are pursuing the dream of parenthood. By connecting these fathers-to-be with vital resources, expert guidance, and a strong network of support, this event empowers these intended parents to take meaningful steps toward building their families. At Illume, we are honored to stand alongside Men Having Babies and are dedicated to making prospective parents' paths to parenthood more accessible, successful, and filled with hope."

Across most of Europe, gay men who wish to become fathers, face serious legal, cultural, and financial obstacles. With over 15,000 future and current gay parents worldwide, MHB is dedicated to helping gay men become parents. While the event is organized by gay parenting organizations, for the first time, special programming was added to the conference specifically designed for prospective heterosexual parents. Illume has sponsored MHB's Berlin conference as well as others domestically for a number of years. Proceeds from sponsorship fees benefit the Gay Parenting Assistance Program (GPAP).

"Since surrogacy in the U.K. still involves significant restrictions, many intended parents choose to travel to the United States for the process instead," said UK dads Doug and Sanjay who chose to work with Illume Fertility after extensive online research and speaking with other LGBTQ+ parents who pursued surrogacy. "Illume's location in Connecticut was perfect for us, as I'm a flight attendant and we visit the East Coast regularly," said Doug. "As soon as we started working with Illume, we also realized how inclusive it was, and that made us feel so welcome."

About Illume Fertility Illume Fertility is a leading fertility practice in the tri-state area providing a best-in-class patient experience and cutting-edge treatments by award-winning physicians to help patients achieve their fertility and family-building goals. Led by an expert team of nine highly credentialed, board-certified reproductive endocrinologists, many of whom have received Castle Connolly's prestigious Top Doc award, Illume Fertility specializes in a complete range of assisted reproductive technologies (ART) including intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) and egg, sperm, and embryo cryopreservation. Recognized as a Healthcare Equality Leader by the Human Rights Campaign for seven consecutive years, Illume Fertility's commitment to inclusive care includes a world-renowned egg donation and gestational surrogacy program, a dedicated team of third-party reproduction experts, and Gay Parents To Be®, an award-winning resource hub offering tailored support for LGBTQ+ family building. Illume Fertility is the only regional fertility clinic with offices in Connecticut and New York offering comprehensive holistic support services, including in-house nutrition counseling, onsite genetic counselors, fertility acupuncture, yoga for fertility, community events, as well as a network of mental health providers focused on fertility and family-building. Illume Fertility is proud of its exceptional success rates and continues to be a leader in patient-centered care, providing compassionate, expert guidance to each prospective parent we serve.

Media Contact Stacy Callahan, Astonish Media Group, 917-972-1101, stacy@astonishmediagroup.com, astonishmediagroup.com Victoria Andretta, Illume Fertility, 845-494-7229, vandretta@illumefertility.com, illumefertility.com

[prismnpen]

It’s official now, as of October 16th, my nation’s government has passed a law declaring surrogacy a “universal crime”. It was already illegal for people to use surrogacy here in Italy, but now if Italian citizens go abroad to become parents in countries where surrogacy is allowed, we will face criminal prosecution when we come back. The punishment has been established as up to 2 years in prison and a fine of up to 1 million euros (about 1,087,150.00 USD).

To give some general information about what we’re talking about, GPA, or “Gestazione Per Altri” as we call it here, refers to gestational surrogacy. This arrangement involves a woman (the surrogate) carrying and giving birth to a child for another person or couple (the intended parents). In this process, the surrogate does not have a genetic link to the child, as the embryo is typically created using the eggs and sperm of the intended parents or donors.

This goes for heterosexual couples who are infertile of course, but the same practice can be used for homosexual couples, with the involvement of a third party who will donate their sperm or their eggs for lesbian and gay couples, respectively.

Since adoption is also not allowed for homosexual couples here in Italy, with only a few exceptions, this means that it’s effectively not possible for a gay couple to become parents in this country.

[surrogacyservice]

LGBTQ+ Couples Can Start Their Family Through Surrogacy

For many LGBTQ+ couples, starting a family can be a challenging and emotional journey, but thanks to surrogacy, the path to parenthood has become more accessible. Surrogacy for LGBTQ+ parents offers an inclusive, reliable way for same-sex couples and individuals to have biological children. Through surrogacy, families are created, built on love and inclusivity, and free from the limitations that biology once imposed. This blog will explore the surrogacy process, its benefits for LGBTQ+ couples, and how to find the right agency to guide you through it.

Understanding Surrogacy for LGBTQ+ Parents

Surrogacy is a reproductive process in which a surrogate mother carries and delivers a child for another person or couple. In the case of gay surrogacy, the intended parents provide genetic material—either sperm or eggs—while a surrogate carries the pregnancy. This process has given LGBTQ+ parents a way to experience the joy of having a biological connection to their children.

LGBTQ surrogacy can be divided into two main types:

Traditional Surrogacy: In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate mother uses her own eggs and is inseminated with sperm from one of the intended fathers or a donor. This option is rarely used due to its legal complexities and emotional considerations, as the surrogate will be genetically related to the baby.

Gestational Surrogacy: In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate mother has no genetic link to the child. An egg from the intended mother or an egg donor is fertilized with sperm from the intended father or a sperm donor, and the embryo is implanted into the surrogate. This is the most common type of surrogacy, especially for LGBTQ+ couples, as it allows for both parents to contribute genetically when using their own sperm or eggs.

Why Choose Surrogacy as an LGBTQ+ Couple?

For LGBTQ+ couples, surrogacy offers a unique opportunity to have biological children. It’s a viable option for same-sex male couples, lesbian couples, and even single individuals looking to build a family. Some of the key reasons why LGBTQ+ couples opt for surrogacy include:

Biological Connection: Surrogacy allows one or both partners to have a genetic link to their child. In gay surrogacy, for instance, one partner can provide sperm, while an egg donor is used for fertilization.

Inclusive Process: Many surrogacy agencies are LGBTQ+ friendly and specialize in working with same-sex couples, ensuring that the process is welcoming and inclusive.

Legal Protections: In the U.S., laws surrounding surrogacy are clear in many states, offering legal protection and parental rights to LGBTQ+ parents. Working with the right surrogacy agency ensures that all legal matters are handled professionally.

Steps in the Surrogacy Process for LGBTQ+ Parents

Choosing a Surrogacy Agency

The first step is finding a reliable, LGBTQ+-friendly surrogacy agency. For example, parents in the U.S. can explore options like surrogacy agency in New York, surrogacy agency in Washington DC, or other regions. Agencies help navigate the entire process, from legal paperwork to matching with the surrogate.

Selecting a Surrogate

Agencies typically have a pool of pre-screened surrogates who are willing to carry a child for LGBTQ+ couples. Choosing the right surrogate is an emotional decision, but the agency will assist in ensuring that all parties are compatible.

Finding an Egg Donor

For gay couples, an egg donor is required. The egg donor can be anonymous or known to the intended parents. Egg donation agencies provide a wide range of donor profiles, making it easier to find a suitable match.

Medical Procedures

Once the surrogate and donor are chosen, medical procedures begin. In-vitro fertilization (IVF) is used to create embryos, which are then implanted into the surrogate’s womb. Throughout the pregnancy, the surrogate is closely monitored to ensure the health of the baby and mother.

Legal Agreements

Legal matters are crucial in surrogacy. Contracts must be drafted to protect the rights of both the surrogate and the intended parents. This includes parental rights, compensation for the surrogate, and other legal considerations.

Birth and Parental Rights

Once the baby is born, the intended parents are legally recognized as the child’s parents, and the surrogate relinquishes her parental rights. This final step completes the surrogacy process.

Benefits of LGBTQ+ Surrogacy

Choosing surrogacy offers numerous benefits for LGBTQ+ couples, such as:

Genetic Connection: Surrogacy allows one or both partners to be biologically related to the child, which is important for many couples.

Control Over the Process: With surrogacy, intended parents can choose their surrogate, egg donor, and medical team, giving them greater control over the process.

Legal Clarity: When working with a reputable surrogacy agency, all legal matters are handled, ensuring that parental rights are protected and clearly established.

Emotional Support: Surrogacy agencies provide emotional and psychological support for both the intended parents and the surrogate, making the journey smoother for everyone involved.

Choosing the Right Surrogacy Agency

One of the most important decisions in the surrogacy journey is selecting the right agency. For LGBTQ+ couples, finding an agency that is inclusive, supportive, and experienced in working with same-sex parents is crucial. Agencies such as Surrogacy Agency New York and Surrogacy Agency in Washington DC specialize in helping LGBTQ+ parents navigate the process.

When looking for an agency, consider the following factors:

Experience: Choose an agency with a proven track record of successful surrogacy arrangements, particularly with LGBTQ+ clients.

Support: Emotional, legal, and financial support are essential throughout the surrogacy journey. Make sure the agency provides comprehensive services that cover all aspects of the process.

Surrogate Screening: The agency should have a rigorous screening process for surrogates to ensure that they are physically and emotionally prepared for the journey.

Legal Expertise: Surrogacy laws vary by state, so it's essential to choose an agency with legal experts who are well-versed in surrogacy laws in your area.

Why Surrogacy4AllNow?

At Surrogacy4AllNow, we understand the unique challenges that LGBTQ+ couples face when starting a family. Our experienced team provides comprehensive support throughout the surrogacy process, from finding the right surrogate to handling legal matters. We work with surrogacy agencies in New York, Washington DC, and other regions to ensure that intended parents receive the best care possible. For more information, visit Surrogacy4AllNow and begin your journey to parenthood.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):

Q. What is surrogacy for LGBTQ+ parents?

A. Surrogacy for LGBTQ+ parents is a process where a surrogate carries a child for same-sex couples or individuals who wish to have a biological child. It enables LGBTQ+ families to build families with a genetic link.

Q. How do LGBTQ+ couples choose between traditional and gestational surrogacy?

A. Most LGBTQ+ couples opt for gestational surrogacy, where the surrogate has no genetic connection to the baby. This is different from traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate’s egg is used.

Q. Are there surrogacy agencies specifically for LGBTQ+ couples?

A. Yes, many surrogacy agencies specialize in LGBTQ+ family-building. Agencies in cities like New York, Washington DC, and Dallas are known for offering tailored services to same-sex couples.

Q. How can gay couples find an egg donor for surrogacy?

A. Gay couples typically work with egg donor agencies to find a donor. The surrogate then carries the fertilized embryo created through IVF.

Q. Is surrogacy legal for LGBTQ+ parents in the U.S.?

A. Yes, surrogacy is legal in many U.S. states for LGBTQ+ parents, with laws varying by state. It’s important to work with a legal expert to ensure all legal matters are handled properly.

Q. How can I start my surrogacy journey as an LGBTQ+ parent?

A. Begin by researching agencies like Surrogacy4AllNow, which specialize in LGBTQ+ surrogacy. Our team can guide you through every step, from finding a surrogate to managing legal issues.

Conclusion

For LGBTQ+ couples, surrogacy is a life-changing opportunity to create a family. The process can be complex, but with the right support, it becomes a rewarding journey toward parenthood. Whether you’re considering surrogacy in the U.S. with agencies like surrogacy agency New York or surrogacy agency in Washington DC, or simply looking to explore your options, finding the right professionals is key.  Surrogacy is about creating families, and LGBTQ+ parents have more options than ever before to realize their dreams of parenthood. For further guidance, visit Surrogacy4AllNow and let us help you take the first step.

Reference: https://surrogacy-services-in-usa.blogspot.com/2024/10/lgbtq-couples-can-start-their-family.html

[gaylovingbirds]

@worldcenterofbaby For any transgender or gay people thinking about having a biological child – the cost of the us is almost 200k. You can half that cost by going to a full service surrogacy agency like world center of baby.

https://worldcenterofbaby.com/

#surrogacy #transgender #gayparents #gayadoption #lgbtq #lgbtqparents #transkidsarevalid #greenscreen

[drdemonprince]

I remember when civil unions for same-sex couples were legalized in 2016. I was only 17 at the time, and I was still dealing with a lot of stuff. Marriage was only a very far thought in the back of my mind, but still, I remember being so happy to hear that news. It was a new option for me, one that could also open up to the possibility of having a child someday, something I had never really considered possible before that time. It’s been several years now, and little to no progress has been made. I hate how slow this process is. And now we’re going backwards I’m still quite young, only 25, but I already know I would like to become a parent. It’s a difficult feeling to describe. I want to love another human being in the same way that my father and my mother have done with me. I want my boyfriend to become a dad and I want to be by his side throughout all of it. When I see my boyfriend playing with my one-year-old niece, I daydream about having a son or a daughter of our own. I want to see my parents love my child like they loved me. I want to see their smiles while they’re rocking my baby to sleep. I want to tear up at my son or daughter’s graduation. I want to be nervous about the person they’re bringing home for dinner. I want to fear for their safety. I want to trust them to make the right choices. I want to be sad about seeing them move to another city. I want to be proud of their accomplishments. I want to hope that they’ll be happy with the life they’ve chosen and that I’ve helped them build. I want to feel all of it.

A heartbreaking piece from Giulio Serafini on Italy's universal ban on surrogacy -- a policy that I'm embarrassed to admit I was not aware of until just now. Surrogacy was already banned within the country prior to this year, but this new policy now bars prospective parents from conceiving via surrogacy anywhere in the world and then bringing their children back. Between this and the country's complete ban on gay adoption, it's now impossible for same-sex couples to have children.

[meleys-the-red-queen]

The amount of blood-purity comments I see in HOTD discussions is honestly wild to me because it’s like. There’s legitimately people saying Rhaenyra can’t or shouldn’t be queen because she’s trying to put “bastards” in the line of succession.

1. Who. The hell. Cares. Who their actual biological father is? Why do we care? What difference does it make? Laenor, Corlys, Viserys recognized them and reaffirmed them in the line of succession MULTIPLE TIMES. No one *who is actually important to the issue* cares who the boys’ biological father is, and their claim comes from their mother, the named heir, the Queen, who can then decide who her heir is, just like Jaehaerys did, and just like Viserys did. Laenor was a gay man, they said they tried to conceive. They couldn’t. What other option was there? Laenor seemed to have no problem with Harwin helping them sire their children while he went off and enjoyed himself.

(Also, the plot to usurp Rhaenyra came long before the three Velaryon boys were born because *she was a woman.* The appearance of her three oldest boys was just another convenient excuse)

2. Would a child in modern day conceived through surrogacy or sperm donation be considered illegitimate/a bastard if one of the parents dies but still has that child in their will? Can the other family members contest it on the basis of “well they’re not blood related so they can’t inherit anything.” Nope. Because that child is recognized and legally theirs, therefore entitled to whatever the parent/family says.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Reasons why they should bring Seb back

Now that they’ve gone through the trouble of killing Rebecca off screen (hooray! It’s about time!), it seems only logical that they would do the right thing and bring Seb back, which means I have absolutely zero confidence in them doing so. But here’s my list of why they really really should, as I have been advocating for years now.

Section 1: It would break Aaron out of character growth jail. Since Robert went to prison, Aaron has lost so much. He’s lost a husband and a sister. He lost being a married man, owning his own home and owning his own business. And one of the most important growth things he lost was being a father. He’d already lost Seb and Ryan leaving wrecked the surrogacy story. So bringing Seb back would:

1. Allow Aaron to fulfill the dream he had of being a father and having a family. So many characters just get handed unwanted children but Aaron actually wanted to be a dad and so of course he lost out on that. Giving him Seb would allow him to realize that goal again.

2. Allow Aaron to grow up again. Since his return, he’s been angry, mean, adrift, committing petty crime again for no reason. Seb being back would give him purpose and a reason to clean up his act. It would allow him to get to be an adult again, something the character sorely needs.

3. Allow Aaron to have screen time and positive story. Aaron has been off screen a lot, so much so that all of his current relationship story development has taken place almost entirely off screen. Seb being back would give Aaron an actual story to play out, especially if there were difficulties in getting formal custody. It’s also a story that would have a happy outcome, once he gets custody, which is something the show could really use right now in the midst of all of the depressing terrible stories. And Aaron has always had such a miserable time on the show so I feel like people would root for something good to happen to him.

4. Allow Aaron to have new kinds of stories. Single Dad Aaron opens up so man new possibilities for him, being able to take on a parental role, having to think about Seb’s needs and not just his own.

5. Allow Aaron to have a full circle moment looking after a troubled kid the way Paddy looked after him.

6. Allow Aaron to interact with new characters. Single Dad Aaron would have more opportunity to interact with the other parents in the village. It might give him more reason to have a proper friendship with Billy for example aside from silly illegal boxing stories. It puts him into new circles, which can open him up for new possibilities.

Section 2: Seb gives Aaron a permanent tie to Robert. For whatever reason, the powers that be seem unwilling to let Aaron fully move on from Robert (that’s another whole post I want to write) but this would give them real reason for Robert to be a constant presence in Aaron’s life without it seeming weird or needing Ryan back. It allows him to never fully move on. The Seb/Robert connection:

1. Allows Aaron to keep Robert in his heart through Seb. He can bring him up with Seb, helping his son love his father and making sure he knows who he was/is.

2. Allows Aaron to maybe hear from Robert from time to time. Robert might have to consent to Aaron being the one to have custody of Seb and Robert wanting that, would be a nice signal to Aaron to that Robert still loves him and trusts him.

3. Allows Aaron to maybe finally deal with some of his Robert feelings in a more productive way, in a more positive way. And because he’s raising his kid, in a way that perhaps even his mother could understand and allow.

4. Allows Aaron to bring Robert up in any new relationship, not just because the show makes him accidentally sleep with Robert’s long lost gay half brother. He needs to consider Seb’s feelings in any new relationship and part of that can be whether Robert would approve of said new man in his son’s life.

5. Allows for an even more interesting return story should they ever actually coax Ryan Hawley back.

Section 3: Bringing Seb back can be a part of rebuilding the Sugdens. Obviously that was a line they used in reference to bringing John in and we’ve seen what a joke that has been. However, Seb:

1. Is the son of the ultimate Emmerdale Sugden legacy character, Robert. And he’s not retconned in the way John is. He’s someone people can watch grow up and continue the family legacy, especially if they go the full mile and give him his proper name.

2. Allows them to bring Aaron more into the Sugden family. While, yes, Seb would probably get lumped into the Dingles at times because of Aaron, Aaron can also get brought into Sugden family time, such as it is.

3. Allows them to give Vic and Harry more screen time, and use Vic’s obsessive family tendencies to get Seb back, giving her something positive to do instead of just being annoying. It maybe lets Harry become more of an actual character if he has a cousin with story potential.

4. Gives the Sugdens, such as they are, someone to rally around in general.

5. Is actually related to people like the Merricks, unlike Vic, if they wanted to explore that connection as well.

Section 4: Bringing Seb back is the perfect opportunity to use the fact that Danny is good with the kids.

1. Danny is great with the kids on screen and off and the kids seem to love him back.

2. It would be a better way to use some of his more cringe humor.

3. If they actually cast a good kid actor that Danny can play off of well, they could be such a fun little duo.

Section 5: There’s no reason not to do it. There’s nothing stopping them other than their own inability to tell a good or even mediocre story.

1. They’ve already gone through the trouble of killing Rebecca off. What was the point of that if they’re not going to bring Seb back. They’ve already done half the work.

2. It’s not contingent on getting an actor like Ryan back. They can literally cast any red headed or blonde child for the role (hopefully a good one but I digress…)

So in conclusion: BRING SEB HOME!

[magnificentempress]

Ok, im gonna post more unpopular opinions of mine just because I can

1. Human rights aren't real and are based entirely on the economic situation and the ability of one to enforce them.

2. The fetus vs baby debate has a point, because the border where a fetus becomes a baby is pretty imaginary. Some say that it is after birth (9 months old), some say that it is "once it is viable outside the womb"(6 or 7 months). But let's imagine that the medical technology will allow us to salvage and grow miscarried or aborted fetuses on even earlier stages. Then what?

2.1 The actual root of this debate is due to the low childbirths, and the disagreement on who has more value - the young or the old.

2.2 Even in the early 20th century, childbirth rates were high, and most people treated kids as some burden. In villages, if a young child died, no one would even miss it, it was like a post-natal abortion (see: traditions in some european countries where a child is given a name only when it is at least one year old). Women who birthed kids out of wedlock were treated with disdain. Now tho? There are entire queues for adoption in the developed countries. Kids are needed but there are few of them, hence the increase in their value and in the value of everything related. That's just the law of supply and demand.

2.3 The old, however, were also considered a burden once (hence folk stories about evil old people, stories about old parents going into the woods to die etc). Now it is not so straightforward and we agree that all people, more or less, have value. But wishful thinking is not economic reality. Young people already view old people with disdain (hence covid memes about the virus killing boomers), and as there are more and more old people, the tax burden on the young working population will be getting heavier. And there is already not enough young people to sustain the economic system.

(I am not saying that the system is good, I am just saying that it exists, and it relies on a certain amount of new people coming into existence and certain amount of people kicking the bucket in the right time.)

2.4 The debate about abortion is simply the debate on who has more value, the young or the old. Someone who has everything ahead, or someone who has experience.

You can see that it is not settled yet. Of course "the older" people will fight for the recognition of their value against their counterparts. That's just natural. You can see that the current young people both tend to be more pro-choice and more hateful towards "the boomers". The young people are kind of in between this Scylla and Charibd, having two economic "enemies" at once. Again, I guess it is just natural. But the boomers, having more power and also simply outnumbering the young people, can enforce their policies and views, and the old people are interested in forced births as they need more young people to pay their pensions.

That's it, that's the core issue here. Do whatever you want about it.

I personally think that abortion restrictions will be reintroduced more and more in the world, for obvious reasons - it seems like the easiest solution. There will also be a push for teenage pregnancies. Possibly more local wars to trigger migration from the said poor countries and get more people into the system at once. Surrogacy will probably become even more common, because between having a child and not having a child, the gvt will always choose 1 in the current situation. The current trans agenda will be probably canceled and forgotten once a small group of old fetishists who pushed for it dies out or gets disciplined by other old rich people, cuz castrating already rare kids is not good long-term. Gay rights will be probably shot down as well since homosexual contacts cant result in having kids.

Will there be more restrictive policies for men? Possibly, because they are the ones who are prone to killing their own families. But since it has been proven impossible to change their behavior, more countries may want to adopt China-like policies ("1 daughter is worth 10 sons" and other slogans that tried to compensate for decades of gynocide). I personally see reducing the male population as one of the most effective strategies of unfucking this planet. I bet people who actually rule the world see it too, let's live and see if they act on it (more local wars can contribute very well to this one, for example)

You may argue all you want about the harms of such policies, but the truth is simple - poor uneducated people have more kids. Just compare birthrates in Europe and in Africa. Yep. At the end of the day, to keep the system running people won't hesitate to throw one group into the woodchopper. It has happened time and again, throughout history.

[eternal-echoes]

The poll

I don't think it's just that; I think more and more people are realizing that every child deserves a mother and a father and legalizing gay marriage deliberately deprives a kid of one of them. Orphans and children of single parents always long for their missing parents.

While there are unfortunate circumstances like death of a parent or divorcing an abusive spouse that makes it inevitable, ultimately since children are made through the biological union of a man and woman, their spiritual relationship with them should be preserved.

Since we're not just a material being, we're also of both body and soul. Not Cartesian dualism but Hylomorphism where the union of body and soul makes one nature.

The only two ways a gay couple can have a baby is either through surrogacy and/or adoption. Along with its ethical concerns with buying a baby, a gay couple taking a newly born baby from his/her mother is depriving that child with the much needed bonding time with the mother (i.e. breastfeeding, cuddling, etc). It's illegal to sell a puppy within 8 weeks of birth because it would be too cruel to separate it from its mother,* then how much more devastating would it be when it comes to a human child? And a child's need for a mother doesn't stop when he/she no longer needs to be breastfed, the mother is essential for the child's emotional maturity as well.

Here is a video of Ryan T. Anderson back in 2014. I'll highlight some important points but the whole video is really good.

Marriage exists to unite a man and a woman as husband and wife to then be equipped to be mother and father to any children that that union produces. It's based on the biological fact that men and women are distinct and complementary, it's based on the anthropological truth that reproduction requires a man and a woman, it's based on the social reality that children deserve a mother and a father. ... Marriage is the institution that different cultures and societies, across time and place, developed to maximize the likelihood that that man commits to that woman, and then the two of them take responsibility to raise that child. Part of this is based on the reality: there's no such thing as parenting in the abstract; there's mothering and there's fathering. Men and women bring different gifts to the parenting enterprise. Rutgers sociologist professor David Popenoe writes, "The burden of social science evidence supports the idea that gender differentiating parenting is important for human development and the contribution of fathers to childrearing is unique and irreplaceable." He then concludes, "we should disavow the notion that mommies can make good daddies, just as we should disavow the popular notion that daddies can make good mommies. The two sexes are different to the core and each is necessary, culturally and biologically for the optimal development of a human being." ... The impact of marriage. So why does marriage matter for public policy? Perhaps there's no better way to analyze this than looking to our own president, President Barrack Obama: "We know the statistics that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of schools, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. They're more likely to have behavioral problems or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundation of our community are weaker because of it." ... President Obama sums it up very well: what we've seen in the past 50 years since the War on Poverty began, is that the family has collapsed. At one point in America virtually every child was given the gift of a married mother and father, those numbers right now: it's more than 50% of Hispanics children are born outside of wedlock, more than 70% of African Americans are born outside of wedlock. And the consequences for those children are really serious. The State's interest in marriage is not that it cares about my love life, or your love life, or anyone's love life just for the sake of romance. The State's interest in marriage is ensuring that those kids have fathers who are involved in their lives. ... If the biggest social problem we face right now in the United States is absentee dads, how will we insist that fathers are essential when the law redefines marriage to make fathers optional? ... Think about the social consequences if that's the direction the slippery slope in which marriage redefinition would go. For every additional sexual partner I have, and for the shorter lived those relationships are, the greater the chances that I create children with multiple women, without commitment with either to those mothers or to those kids. It increases the likelihood of creating fragmented families and then big government will step in to pick up the pieces with a host of welfare programs that truly drain the economic prospects of all of our states. ... So for all those reasons this is why the State and all states have an interest in preserving the definition of marriage as a union, permanent and exclusive of a man and a woman.

Also an article supporting some of Ryan T. Anderson's points:

It’s worse to be raised by a single mother, even if you’re not poor.

The reason for this is that fathers tend to be the disciplinarian in the family. They provide the moral framework in his children's lives.

Reminder that even though the Catholic Church does not support gay marriage, it doesn't mean that she hates gay people. There is a ministry called Courage International where people with same-sex attractions are encourage to live chaste and holy lives.

*Original wording taken from here.

[girlfishes]

In my recent post about the surrogacy law change in Italy, I got a lot of responses along the lines of “if gay men want kids they should just adopt them” .

Besides the fact that some of y’all need to learn to read (it literally says in the screenshots I posted that they aren’t allowed to adopt in Italy), I’m concerned with how adoption is considered a solution for people who can’t have kids.

Adopted kids don’t come from the aether. And the adoption industry, especially in my country (usa), is very exploitative of low income or otherwise disadvantaged women and children. This, in combination with our terrible criminal justice system, puts a lot of kids with living parents up for adoption when it is possible for them to remain with their birth families, which is almost always best for the mother and child. All of this, and I haven’t even touched on the ethical nightmare of international adoption.

I understand the need for adoption if the kid has literally no living family, but then the adoption would happen for the sake of the kid, not to complete some stranger’s family.

All of this to say, if you consider adoption to be the “solution” to infertility, please do some research.

[gay-jewish-bucky]

hi! i was wondering: if modern stucky decided they want to raise jewish children, would need to use a jewish egg donor? very sorry for my lack of knowledge, i've tried to research the answer but haven't found much info on gay men having jewish kids?

Amazing question! When it comes to understanding the answer, it helps to view Judaism as a tribal religion with its own requirements for membership.

Adoption: Non-Jewish child[ren], if they are raised Jewshly, would need an age-appropriate conversion. Childhood converts generally get a choice at some point if they want to remain Jewish or not.

According to religious law (halacha), someone is Jewish if they: -> Were born to a Jewish mother -> Undergo a formally recognized conversion

For surrogacy & egg donation, Judaism is passed through the -> Gestational surrogate (Conservative & Orthodox opinion) -> Egg donor (Alternative Orthodox opinion) -> Egg donor and gestational surrogate (Growing opinion)

In Reform & Reconstructionist Judaism, born Jews a) Are born to at least one Jewish parent, regardless of DNA, and b) Are raised to have an exclusive Jewish identity, and c) Engage in timely formal public acts affirming that identity

To ensure the acceptance of their child as a Jew, parents may -> Utilize both a Jewish egg donor and gestational surrogate -> Have their child[ren] undergo an age-appropriate conversion

Important Considerations: Patrilineal Jews aren't accepted as Jewish by most movements or communities, so conversion might be recommended. Non-Orthodox groups will often recognize approved conversions from other movements, while Orthodox groups only recognize Orthodox conversions.

Sources Under the Cut

Who Is a Jew: Patrilineal Descent Egg Donation & Surrogacy, Gestational Surrogacy: The Immunology Behind It and Its Halachic Implications, How does Reform Judaism define who is a Jew?, Reform Movement's Resolution on Patrilineal Descent , Ask the Expert: Egg Donors, Converting Infants and Children, NYP no. 5767.2, IVF & Surrogacy in Judaism: A 2024 Guide, What Does Jewish Law Say About Surrogacy?, The Jewish Faith, A Guide for Surrogacy & Minor Conversion in Jewish Law, Maternal Identity, An Alternative to Maternal Identity, Intentional Fertility: LGBTQ+ Family Building, Questions about Jewish Adoption and Surrogacy, Is Surrogacy Permitted According to Orthodox Judaism?, Surrogacy in Orthodox Judaism, Maternal identity for Orthodox Jewish Couples, Orthodox View on Egg Donation, ‘Inherited Jewish status can be gained from any parent’, I'm Jewish. How Should I Be Thinking About A Jewish Egg Donor?, On Patrilineal Descent Archives, Are You My Surrogate?, Embracing What It Means to Be Jewish and…: Patrilineal identity, A Reconstructionist View on Patrilineal Descent, Patrilineal Descent & the Shaping of Intermarriage Discourse in American Judaism, Patrilineal Descent and Same-Sex Parents, CARR 61-68

[surrogacyglobal]

Surrogacy for Gay Parents in Colombia

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