#Stormlight Incorrect Quotes

[bookishbroadwayandblind]

Dalinar's reaction to Adolin's Birth: Born unto light... wow I'm a new man the world is a beautiful place life is a miracle-

Dalinar’s Reaction to Renarin's Birth: What kinda stupid name is that? Who even is this? He's giving weakling. I'm going back to battle

Evi: ????

[kandra-chameleon]

The Vorin Church, 1174 (colourised)

[brothermouse-skeleton]

"SLUT."

-Mayalaran, upon learning Adolin Kholin's dating history

[vins-paranoia]

Adolin: do you know who I am?!

Kaladin: my punishment for not going to med school

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Spy: You have an odd sense of morality, Docteur.

Medic: Don't be stupid; every sense of morality is odd.

[imaginative-reblogs]

Shallan: Okay. Hand me your hairdryer.

Kaladin: What?

Shallan: Yeah? All Alethi guys carry a hairdryer!

Kaladin: Have you actually MET an Alethi man?

Shallan: Adolin? Do you have a hairdryer?

Adolin: Of course, I'm not an animal...

[danganronpafakes]

Gonta: You have an odd sense of morality, Maki. Maki: Don't be stupid, every sense of morality is odd.

Source: Brandon Sanderson (The Stormlight Archive, “Words of Radiance”)

[headcanonsandmore]

Kaladin, explaining his past to Adolin: So, after working tirelessly with Bridge Four to save ourselves from the near-hopeless situation we had ended up in, I was no longer a slave. I no longer had to walk barefoot and in rags everywhere.

Adolin: *horrified* Storms, Kaladin; you've had a incredibly difficult life. I can see exactly why you disliked me when we first met; people like me had literally beaten you down for your entire life. I'm... I'm so sorry.

Kaladin: Thanks, Adolin; that means a lot to me.

Adolin: So... what happened after you had finally been released from slavery?

Kaladin: Your wife used her privilege as a light-eyes to rob me of the boots I was wearing.

Adolin: ...

Kaladin: ...

Kaladin: Yeah, now that I think about it, that explains why I didn't like her for so long-

[onlycosmere]

(Art is the WoR Ghostbloods by @botanicaxu )

[cosmere-cosmeme]

Renarin: Got called gay at school today.

Adolin: What? Tell me what happened?

Renarin: I got called gay at school.

Adolin: Why?

Renarin: I was being gay.

Adolin: At sch-

Renarin: At school, yeah.

[variousfandomthoughts]

Shallan talking to Pattern after the ship sinks in Words of Radiance: Jasnah’s death has traumatized me, and, being in a state of shock and horror, the only thing I can now do to cope is attempt to regain some of what I lost by further dedicating myself to becoming like Jasnah and preserving her work and memory. I believe this profound realization about myself and my experiences will lead me to healing and recovery.

Pattern: What’s a “death”?

[kunaiman]

Look at me, I'm normal! I'm doing my job! I'm not messing anything up, I'm perfect!

-Taln, on Never Breaking.

[brothermouse-skeleton]

Things that never happened in the books, but should have:

Syl: I know your secret Stormfather, your terrible, terrible secret

Stormfather: What are you talking about?

Syl: Crem! You go around dropping Crem on everything! It's like you're pooping on the whole world!

Stormfather: Wha-

Syl: I know all about poop! Kaladin explained it to me!

Stormfather: INSOLENT CHILD! I AM THE STORM, I DO NOT POOP! I-

Syi: You do poop! You poop on everything! You never stop pooping! It's gross! You're gross! Gross old man! *Flies away in disgust*

At 2 in the morning

Stormfather: DALINAR KHOLIN! AWAKEN!

Dalinar: Wha- huh?

Stormfather: WHAT IS POOP MADE OF? IS IT CREM? YOU MUST TELL ME!

[thehalfbloodfreak]

Shallan: You know you can’t solve every problem with a sword.

Adolin: That’s why I brought TWO swords!

[sazed-s-faith-crisis]

Marsh and Szeth should meet up

"Yeah I was bound to god and he manipulated my body" "I'm bound to a rock" "I'll drink to that"

[vins-paranoia]

Shallan: well well well, if it isn't the memories of old childhood trauma I've been desperately trying to avoid