#Step By Step Tree Making

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷ now playing

Taryn: My father used to tell me that the earth would heal our wounds. That the ground would swallow our woes and our tears would nourish the soil beneath us. Pain was no stranger to the garden. A stubbed toe. A scraped knee. A fall. Physical discomfort is a natural part of the living. But to be afflicted by another is quite the wound. You can’t heal something you can’t touch. Atlas is a different kind of hurt. Like picking a rose from a bush… Easy to admire as long as you don’t touch the thorns underneath.

[flagellant]

The more I think about Wildmender the more I grow invested in it. It's a fascinating interpretation of terra nil and solarpunk since so often the genre is fundamentally rooted in settler-colonialist philosophy, and even games which are intended to be the opposite of that--terra nil comes to mind as the obvious one--just end up actually revealing a different side of the factorio problem, because terra nil is an incredible impersonal restoration of ecological systems. Terra Nil acknowledges climate destruction on a global catastrophic scale and it accepts the responsibility to fix that, but it isn't shown as a human act, nor does it really allow itself the realism of just how terrifyingly impossible the task is to try and literally fix the entire world. Its game structure is supposed to be the anti-factorio but its puzzle structures focusing on efficiency and robotic engineering patterns of rewilding end up feeling more like a dialogue than an inversion. It's trying to say that the idea of humanity as fundamentally destructive is wrong while it doesn't actually ever address the human element.

And then there's fucking Wildmender. A game where you are a single human child in a world of endless wasteland and death, where the only other things are ghosts who remember a halcyon era and the hubris that ended it, wraiths which are consumed by their own greed and destruction of the land for their cursed immortality, and a couple god statues. The entire map is just ceaseless grief, filled with the literal dessicated remains of all the biodiversity that came before the countless disasters. And it's a big fucking map.

And then...the game gives you a shovel and a sickle and a mirror that shows the wraiths what twisted reflections they've become.

And the game says, "The entire world is waiting to be better, and the only way to do that is by doing it yourself, long and hard and hopeless as it seems."

I cannot emphasize enough how overwhelming the task you're handed. There is not a single speck of life left in the world. You are given a shovel and a water bottle and just...expected to do something about it. To look at the literal endless wastes and think you can heal it.

This is what Wildmender cherishes that Terra Nil denies: This is an impossible task for you alone. But it has to be done...and you can actually do it. The way you can turn sand into soil and dig irrigation channels is beautiful. Every single scrap of land that you reclaim is something you had to do on purpose. You had to do it yourself. You had to actively choose how to do it.

And the game makes the reward of even just getting a bit more water into the sand feel like victory. Your starting oasis turns from soil into lush and beautiful meadows--sure, technically instantaneously by doing magic on a specific type of plant. But it took me 4-5 hours before I got there. You have to travel so far into the desert to learn how to grow grass again, and then you realize that this endless hostile wasteland is a fraction of the map you're given. And you look at this sudden profusion of meadowy grassland surrounding your spring and despite how sudden it feels you remember how big the world is. You made more progress in a minute than you did in 5 hours and it's not even a speck on the map. How the fuck is this gonna happen?

And the answer is by accepting that it's going to take a long fucking time and a lot of hard work.

That's how it's gonna happen. Get to work.

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 36

PREV

The Smiths had been a happy family.

A happy couple and three happy healthy children. Their first born son 2 years into a blissful marriage, a second born son 4 years in and the third, a first born daughter 7 years in.

They spent most holidays with his Mother’s large rambunctious family but his grandma on his father’s side and her mother were always invited to any family event.

“The more the merrier.” He had heard more than one aunt or uncle say. “We know that Gavin is an only child, we don’t want to leave you alone.” They would say to his Gran. Cousins playing, laughing, rough housing, and screaming. Family friends with their own kids stopping in. The adults who could cook cranking food out happy to feed people.

The more the merrier is something FF believed with all his heart.

FF loved being an older brother.

He loved them from the moment he knew they existed. Had wanted to meet them instantly. Waiting to meet Jay and then Robin had been the longest time of his life. Meeting both of them were two of the happiest moments in FF’s entire life.

Robin had loved to reach up and pinch at his face.

Nose, ears, or even cheeks his little sister had loved to clamp her fingers around it. He used to talk when she’d do it on his nose, purposefully sounding more nasally as he talked to her as she giggled wildly. It was her favorite game in the entire world and FF had always been willing to play it with her.

Jay fell asleep against his shoulders without fail on every single car ride.

Slight weight, drool, and tiny hands that always wanted to hold his arm like a pillow. He was getting big had denied that he did that with pure horror every time FF would ask him if he was going to take a nap. Yet FF very rarely made it to a far off destination without a little bit of drool on an outfit. FF had never cared, trying not to laugh too hard with Robin as she giggled so that he wouldn’t dislodge Jay.

His gran would pinch his cheek and tell him how good he was.

A good older brother.

The happy couple wanted more kids. Wanted a bigger and bigger family. His mom wanted what she knew, his dad wanted what he never had, FF wanted more siblings.

He always felt like he had gotten his wish, but only in the worst way he could have.

His mom and dad were fighting. They were driving home from the supermarket; he vaguely remembers that. He doesn’t remember what started the fight but he remembers how Jay and Robin moved in close to him. She was pointing at him and FF doesn’t remember what she said but he remembers her hands reaching and then-

His face hurt, his ear hurt, he looked over and Jay was asleep just like he always was but he doesn’t look right. He looks and Robin is there reaching for him but she can’t reach him. “I’m scared.” She had said his name, pleading and terrified. Her face was bruised, cut, and she had a burn that looked painful.

He lied to her.

He didn’t know it at the time, but he did.

He reached out and he couldn’t touch her face, but he held her tiny hand in his own, looked her in the eyes, and lied.

“It’s going to be okay; I promise.”

Then he woke up and that hand wasn’t the one in his anymore. The world is muted but somehow his grandma’s red eyes and pale skin stand out to him. He asks what happened and she tells him.

Things don’t get better.

His mom swears his dad tried to kill them all that he swerved so they’d all die together. He can’t corroborate that story; he just remembers her hand reaching and-

How do you ask your mom if she tried to kill you?

She must see the question in his eyes regardless. Must figure that if he can’t feel anything, can’t cry, can’t emote, can’t go and lay between his sibling’s graves in the middle of the night then maybe he’ll never ask the question and she’ll never have to answer.

He learned to live not knowing and maybe his mom learned that he was a coward.

His mom’s family don’t treat him the same. He won’t denounce his father and they look at him with pity and Daniel whispers poison into his cousins’ ears until they act like he killed Robin and Jay personally.

He can’t react.

Can’t plead with his cousins to understand.

Daniel would spin it and FF would find himself on the meds again. So, he got good at pretending. He got good at faking. He got good at everything that was needed to pretend like he didn’t have a care.

Then Coach Wymack and Captain Dan Wilds were there.

He’d been getting better.

Now Daniel was here.

Nicky tucked him into bed and he tried to sleep. Even feigned it well enough for Nicky to leave and to get startled by the shouting that shortly followed.

Daniel was going to stay.

Daniel was going to try to be on the same team.

Daniel was smart, strong, and very athletic.

Daniel was going to be on the same team.

He hears when Abby and his Gran come back, and someone must have mentioned that Daniel was there to his Grandma because she comes in and tells him that it will be okay. He puts on a brave face for her, and she kisses his cheek.

He lays there in bed and stares at the ceiling feel flushed and hot with anxiety.

He gets up and walks to the fridge and finds himself frozen there.

“Smith,” Bee’s voice rings in his ears as he had tried to keep pushing everything down. “Smith, there is only so much you can bottle up and repress.” She reached out and held his hand comfortingly because touch always made him feel like he was on earth.

“What am I supposed to do with it?” he had asked, ashamed.

“Smith, you’ll have to process it. Feel what you repressed and then after you’ve felt it maybe you can let it go.” Bee had said.

He had avoided taking her advice so far, it hadn’t felt safe, and it had been too much, too scary.

Nicky’s face comes into his vision, “Smithy?” he asks and there is concern that FF hadn’t felt worthy of. “C’mon bud. Let’s get you under the covers.” His friend says.

They get to the guest room and FF crumbles. His face in Nicky’s shoulder and when Nicky asks if he can hold him while he sleeps FF nods and holds on as tight as he can. Nicky’s hand finds his back, “It’s okay Smithy, I’m right here. We won’t let that asshole mess with you. You’re safe.” Nicky had promised and-

and it’s enough.

He relaxes against Nicky and he feels safe.

So, he decides to process it.

“Dig in!” Abby said not bothering with grace. It was good. FF still missed his grandma’s cooking. It was nice to have this loud Thanksgiving like he used to get but there was something special about helping his grandma in the kitchen and the two of them sitting down to eat. He missed events with his mom’s family. Loud and boisterous and his Gran welcomed and loved by everyone there. It was special to have his time with his grandma, but he wishes it could be with his cousins and his siblings still.

It’s okay to be nostalgic.

He lets himself process it.

Captain Neil was up front and had started  to play some music. Nicky and Aaron were conked out before they had even reached the entrance to the interstate. They had also slumped onto FF with Aaron asleep on his shoulder as Nicky drooled into his hair. “You can just shove them off.” Andrew said. “It’s fine.” FF said and had reminisced about the last time he’d had something like this. How maybe Jay would be this big, would he be tall like Nicky or shorter like Aaron? Would Robin be big? Would she still want to squeeze his nose and ask him to talk?

It wasn’t a bad thought, just one that hurt to consider.

He lets himself process it.

Aaron looked at him with a twisted mouth for a while before he relented, “Fine they’re not that bad. It’s a big brother thing.” Aaron rolled his eyes. FF swallowed down some acid in his throat and had pushed the smiling eggs and bacon over to Aaron who smiled back at the breakfast and proceeded to eat it. A big brother thing. FF used to be one of those but, unlike Aaron, he hadn’t managed to protect his siblings. Aaron was a good big brother and FF only had the memory of being one.

It hurt and maybe it wasn’t just his great grandma he had reached out to when he had baked those brownies. They had always always been Jay’s favorite.

Two kids hadn’t moved as the rest of the world continued to. He watched as they clung to one another, and no one seemed to take notice of them. He didn’t understand how anyone could mess them with the bright orange children’s jerseys they had on. One sporting 01 – Josten and the other 10 – Josten on the backs. He had said something to Nicky and then he was squatted down in front of them. A big brother and a little sister with a burn. He’s glad to see them off safely. Glad they’re safe and that Millie is smiling at him like he hung the stars because he got her an autograph from Captain Neil. Glad to watch Brandon be lifted up by his father. He hopes they get home safe.

They didn’t even look that much like Jay and Robin but it had made him happy.

There were other moments, small moments that had hurt that he bottled up but those didn’t take much time to process though.

He finishes processing and lets himself come back to the present.

Something tastes good in his mouth.

“…put the knife away!!” he hears Nicky yelling and looks up to find that Nicky is hiding behind Matt Boyd in Abby’s backyard.

“Just tell me where my car is Nicholas!” Andrew says advancing on Nicky with a knife drawn.

“Can we not do this with me in the middle?” Matt pleads.

“He won’t stab you so you’re the safest thing to hide behind!” Nicky exclaims.

“Where. Is. My. Car?” Andrew hisses.

“Look, I’m just saying that until that asshole is off the campus….maybe it’s for the best that you don’t have access to your car?” Nicky asks pleadingly.

“What the fuck is he drinking?!” He turns as he hears Kevin nearby.

“Milkshake, it’s fine. Doesn’t Smiths deserve something that is not one of your dogshit smoothies?” Aaron asks and he’s standing between Kevin and FF. He sees one of Kevin’s smoothies in the starting striker’s hands.

“It’s not fine!” Kevin hisses. “I didn’t approve of it!” he flails one arm.

“Kevin,  you’re not actually his doctor.” Captain Neil says, “Andrew, maybe put the knife away before people call the cops on you?” Captain Neil asks pleadingly.

“I’ll put it away once Nicky tells me where he put my car.” Andrew demands.

“We just barely avoided you going to jail a couple weeks ago Andrew. I just don’t want you to do something that would result in you being there on vehicular manslaughter charges!” Nicky pled from behind Matt.

“I wouldn’t crash the Maserati just to kill him.” Andrew is facing towards them, and FF can see him roll his eyes.

“I think they’re more worried that you’ll just run him over if you see him dude.” Matt says.

FF realizes belatedly that he’s sucking on a straw to an empty milkshake only when a wrinkled hand takes it from him and puts a hot drink in his hands instead. He looks and sees his grandma smiling at him.

He looks down and-

Oh, hot chocolate. This is nice.

He takes a sip.

Oh, his grandma’s hot chocolate.

Delightful.

He watches as his Grandma makes her way towards where Andrew and Nicky were continuing to run around a resigned looking Matt.

Andrew is stopped as his Grandma hands him a cup of hot chocolate filled to the brim with marshmallows. He blinks at the offering but takes it stopping his hot pursuit of Nicky.

“Jesteś moim ulubieńcem” she says. (“You’re my favorite now.”)

Nicky makes a noise like he’s dying. “Aras!” he cries dramatically.

“Got something to say about the drink from his Gran?” Aaron asks.

“No…” Kevin says petulantly. “…but he should leave room. I formulated a new healthier smoothie that tastes good.” Kevin says holding up his smoothie.

“Doesn’t taste like ass is more accurate.” Matt says walking over now that Nicky was immobilized by his despair and Andrew was enjoying hot chocolate. “Sorry Smithster, we’re still working on getting it up to ‘tastes good’.” He says apologetically clapping FF on the shoulder.

“Fat chance of that with Kevin’s sensibilities with flavor.” Aaron says rolling his eyes. “More accurate to say lack of sensibility.” He adds after a second.

“Don’t be rude, you ran off without even warning me.” Matt points at Aaron.

"You ran off?!" Kevin demands.

FF can’t help it.

He laughs.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

[alicentsaegon]

Modern fantasy writers are like

"I want to tackle themes such as misogyny or clssism or racism or homophobia in my work!🤗🤗🤗 No there's none of that present in my book, this society that mimics 1300s central Europe suffers from none of these issues because thats not progressive and if we have DRAGONS and MAGIC why do we need this ahaha am I right? 😅🙂‍↕️Except for this individual conflict in this novel the characters have to overcome but that's an isolated case. Oh look there's a Queen!"

[fatedroses]

When you're the emperor of an entire nation and undoubtably have countless very important things to do...

...but you instead drive over to your friend's estate deep in the mountains to surprise him, just to be a normal person for a little while.

(Aka he's hiding out so he can nap in the arboretum for a couple days.)

[sea-owl]

https://www.tumblr.com/sea-owl/725002488312365056/im-back-on-my-violet-x-portia-bullshit-this?source=share

There has to be more of this right???

I mean there can be.

Imagine if the widowed lord kept flirting with Portia at these balls driving Violet closer and closer to that Bridgerton jealousy. Finally, one night, she snapped, ordering the carriage driver to take her to Featherington House. Portia was walking up the steps just returning home as Violet stormed out of the carriage.

Portia could see what was coming, a shiver of excitement running through her, but she reme they were still outside. Violet didn't.

"Lady Bridgerton," Portia started to say when the other woman cut her off.

Violet said nothing, but her eye twitched at hearing her title. They agreed on no titles during these times. She crushed the other woman's lips with her own, the force of it sending Poetia back a few steps. Violet simply followed her, refusing to give up the kiss.

"My ladies," Mrs Varley coughed.

Violet and Poetia jumped. Both of them panting, and holding onto one another.

"May I suggest taking this argument to a more private setting?" Mrs Varley said, opening the door a bit wider.

Portia let go of Violet, she began making her way inside. She tried to ignore the few curls Violet tugged loose, the scratches she made on Violet's shoulder. "Yes, we shall. Varley make sure no one comes to disturb us."

"Yes ma'am," Varley replied, shutting the front door.

Portia pinned Violet to her bed, her eyes lit up in fury. "What scene were you making out there? You know better!" She hissed.

Violet bucked up her hips into Portia's. She earned a gasp from the red head, and the dominat hand as she rolled them over. "I could very well ask you the same thing. Flirting with Lord Williams?"

Portia's face scrunched in disgust. "I would not let another man in this house, much less my bedroom!"

Violet smiled, her hand moving lower. "Good."

[tearlessrain]

at some point you gotta ask yourself: are 4k textures actually going to improve the look/experience of playing a ten year old game in any meaningful way. do I really need to demand 4k textures from every mod author.

[greyrain23]

Busy day tomorrow 😵‍💫 wish me luck

[bredforloyalty]

my beloved ricsi @kalaharidown tagged me to. have people vote on which of my favorite movies matches my vibe the most 😳

thank you this is funn<3 but it was SOOO hard to choose because i don't have 5 definite faves i have a bunch i love + i crossed out a couple that i felt wasn't my vibe at all. (but i still love. like we know no one's gonna vote carrie or dead ringers or even jackie brown yk? unless there's nothing more fitting.. but then there are some on here just because i really love it.. hmmm)

i've seen so many of these i feel like everyone's been tagged already buuut @mpregdextermorgan @ujhold @icedteadrinker @shrikebrother + anyone else who wants to be tagged 🫶

[respectthepetty]

BUT I think we should all stand and applaud the fact that the “oh no Boss Daddy Jeng is Stressed and must intensify a Work out to get through these feelings scene” was NOT left on the cutting room floor.

Blessed be the editors. Knighthoods. The lot of them.

I do appreciate the editors for being like "Pat's parents talking? Cut. Ae going into labor? Cut. Pat and Jeng talking to their friends? CUT! Jeng working out? Mmmm. . . it has narrative value. Keep."

Because his back and those grunts were definitely giving me a whole story.

Also, in my family, when people are upset, they either deep clean or aggressively work out, while I open a bottle of wine and plot murder, so good for Jeng being a well-balanced man and finding beneficial ways to deal with his anxiety and stress. Beneficial for him AND for us.

Please let Man get more roles, so I can continue to objectify admire him.

Amen.

[koskela-knights]

At this point, with the Night Springs DLC having come out and how i've felt about Jesse's chapter and Coffee World and the overall (under) usage of named NPCs from the AW2 canon, I keep thinking....

I feel the Cult of the Tree lost all its narrative purpose and emotional impact due to FBC involvement. The Cult and the Koskelas might have well been some random unnamed NPC Cult Leaders or heck, they might as well have been replaced by a sentient lamp and their relevance and impact and the outcome would've been the same. It could've been some other random murder case that would've attracted Saga and Casey's attention to BF for how little pay-off we got for the Cult arc. The final 'wrap-up' if you will, is totally missable and optional. At this point, nobody even cares anymore that the Cult were actual the good guys all along.

Even Remedy seems to have forgotten about the whole Cult arc and the Koskelas as characters and I feel the fandom even mirrors that in some waysthere

[silliest-mothpaw]

I don't know if someone has already asked for him yet but Jayfeather? Or maybe Ivypool?

Ivypool!

Notes :3

Same colours as birchfall but slightly greyer

The big marking is an ivy leaf

All cats that have gone through the darkforest get white dots on their ears, you’ll notice that if you look at any of my df designs

Butch lesbian

Cuts off her mane to avoid looking like hawkfrost

In another life she’s called ivyclaw </3

[brown-little-robin]

.

[abyssmalice]

tonitoni's big thonk of the day: does the IPC supply firearms for purchase? can she get one that's super duper way cooler than what teyvat's technological level was capable of?

she'd like one that can also make candy...

[yellow-salamander]

listening to hadestown and my friend goes “why does this sound kinda like the song at the end of the lorax” while they’re singing like “omg the wall that keeps us free” 🕺🕺🕺

and now we’re discussing how hadestown and the Lorax are actually just the same thing at heart.

capitalism allegory? dude in a tower cause he’s mad at the world? some guy has to go down and melt tower dude’s heart? musical?? literally the same story except the characters are all in love. fight me.

[pand1on]

All of chao game progress today was fighting with camera controls and scripting. I was tearing my hair out trying to get the player model to stop facing the camera and face away from it, thought I was going crazy. I just had to convert 180 degrees to radians and add it to a rotation. Boom fixed movement works perfectly, it turns with the camera and everything