#Starship Genius

[bridgetswonderfulland]

"Old Fingerhead."

"Darn those Hoos..."

Y'know that weird-looking axolotl-like alien over there? That's Old Fingerhead, rarely seen as "Young Mouthbottom" to other people, people mentioned him as "The Greatest Catcher Of The Space". Though beefy and a bit of chonkabonk, he was rather sarcastic and mean to others because he wants to be alone and hates being bothered. Speaking of Young Mouthbottom, he's a second alter of O.FM's "fishy plurality" which he has only two alters. Nobody knows but he told them that it would be a secret and never be revealed, although you can see him "trying to find himself".

Here's my redesign on Old Fingerhead/Young Mouthbottom, he's underrated but he deserves a spinoff(or not, depends on what the creator will). I will might head back to the Ratboy Genius fandom, maybe skulking for safety. I do believe it's alright to gave him a headcanon that he suffers from DID/OSSD instead of having two faces (hence why Young Mouthbottom was here). Perhaps he'll let Y.MB slide in public so nobody will know who he truly is without the plural, I guess he doesn't want to let people despise him heavily because of the incident where he captured the Hoo-Hoos.

[itsamepatches]

Five years after my last one (which I wrote during the run of "Little King John: The Flood"), I've finally done another fic for the "Ratboy's Kingdom"/"Ratboy Genius" series :'B

It's not long, but hopefully it can still be enjoyed 💃

Rating: General Characters: Ratboy Genius, Little King John, Buck "Sneezy" Dodger Additional tags: Episode related

🐀 Preview: [After the events of "Starship Genius" and "Little King John: The Flood". Galaxy Heroes are alright though, I don't want them sad.]

            It would’ve been nice to have met him at a more relaxed, less-life-threatening environment, but the Final Charge was to happen soon, and the yellow fella known as Ratboy Genius was aware he could only give the king enough time to recover from his sudden appearance from his world.

            The last time Ratboy Genius saw the odd king, he was safely being carried off in a transparent bubble.

            During the whole kerfuffle, Ratboy Genius’ mind must have played a trick or two on him – which wasn’t very nice, to be honest – because Ratboy could’ve sworn he saw Little King John steal a quick glance over his shoulder to see where he was.

            Was...was Little King John worried about him?

            He must’ve been imagining things, Ratboy was certain.

[hotwaterandmilk]

I’m re-watching Soreyuke! Uchuu Senkan Yamamoto Youko and it’s reminding me that loser anime men from the 1990′s just hit different.

[fagsaporta]

cobra starship and identity

prostitution is the world’s oldest profession / i kissed a boy / guilty pleasure / kiss my sass / my moves are white (white hot that is) / being from jersey means never having to say you’re sorry

[leletha-jann]

OK, now THAT gives me perspective. The Enterprise-D is 641 meters long (citation: the Star Trek Encyclopedia, which I happen to have to hand). The Enterprise-D has a working population of about a thousand people on an average day, and you can pack many, many more people aboard her if you need to.

A kilometer is by definition 1000 meters.

...Castle Wulfenbach is bigger than any Enterprise we've ever seen.

...holy crap, that is a big airship.

...look, my visual references may not be anyone else's, but everyone's seen Picard's Enterprise, right? Oh my GOD. NOW I have the scale of it. I CANNOT UNSEE that scale, thank you very much.

...oh my GOD, Castle Wulfenbach is bigger than the Enterprise-D.

Girl Genius for 8/12

This page was a bitch to draw, and that's all I'll say about that. I will say that we keep telling people how BIG Castle Wulfenbach is, but I'll admit that saying it's a kilometer long is one thing, and conveying that in my slap-happy art style is another. Thus we are defined by our failures. We'll be in L.A. this weekend! Maybe we'll get "discovered"! It could happen.

[stra-tek]

Random spoilerific reasons to read Star Trek novels, with little to no context:

Ro/Quark is a thing

A Jem'Hadar joins DS9, tries to fit in but eventually snaps and tries to kill everybody

You learn the origins and final fate of the Borg

A thinly-veiled Dr. House clone joins the Voyager crew

Geordi briefly has 2 girlfriends at once (due to different writers not co-ordinating enough, but still)

There's a TOS book that's a musical

There are YA stories about Jake and Nog making mischief on DS9

YA stories about Worf, Geordi, Picard, Beverly, Kirk, Spock and McCoy at SFA

YA series about the Kelvinverse gang (including Gaila!) as cadets, taking on a drug problem at SFA and a very unique Borg scout in San Francisco

We very briefly meet the people who are to Q what the Q are to humanity

Janeway/Chakotay is a thing

Kirk's first mission in command of the Enterprise! Erm, at least twice.

Kirk was married between TOS and TMP

Her name was Lori

In the future, you have yearly marriage contracts that you either update or you don't and I think that's amazing

Trip didn't die! He faked his death to join Section 31 and go undercover as a Romulan

It's not great, tbh

The ENT books get better after the Romulan wars though, it's proper founding of the Federation stuff

We meet Jack Crusher (erm, the OG) when 4 timelines start overlapping and he's a bit unhinged

Teenage Kirk stole a car and his choice was go to jail or join Starfleet

What happened when Voyager got home? Seven broke up with Chakotay like 30 pages in

Kirk gets cloned, and his clone becomes the sub of an evil invincible super genius and its all very gay

George Kirk was Robert April's first officer on the first ever mission of the unnamed starship with the Naval Construction Contract 1701

Robert is a hard-core pacifist and has to turn command over to George whenever it's time to fire weapons

Data becomes fully human for a couple of days and it's really sweet

They never say "wristwatch" or "phone", it's always "wrist chrono" or "personal comm"

There are gays but they don't say that word because it's the 1990's and Rick Berman runs the franchise

Spock has a son in the past with Zarabeth

Everyone in the post-Nemesis era does spy missions all the time non stop, as if Starfleet has abandoned exploring the cosmos for doing Space Mission: Impossible

Bashir does it better than anyone else, he takes on Section 31 from the inside

Remember Control? It's from the novels, except the novels do it SO MUCH BETTER.

Remember how we never found out who Future Guy was? We do.

It's very underwhelming, nobody we know

We find out how the Romulans and Vulcans split

Surak was a Vulcan internet blogger

A Borg Cube eats Pluto

Janeway dies

Janeway gets better

At least one TOS book features a wizard

There's a Star Trek TOS/Here Come the Brides crossover novel

It had cameos from The Doctor (as in, Who), Han Solo, Starbuck and others

Whole book series about Section 31

Whole book series about the Department of Temporal Investigations

One time they do the Bill and Ted thing to escape confinement and it works

Wanna know how Riker and Troi met?

Wanna know what Picard got up to on the Stargazer?

Andorians have 4 sexes and it's very complicated

Data comes back from the dead as Data 2.0, and it was fresh and exciting because it happened long before ST: Picard did it twice.

Lal comes back too and we get father/daughter android stuff! They have a home and everything but keep having to save the universe

One time Mirror Seven is led around on a leash naked on Terok Nor

Geordi becomes captain of the USS Challenger, decides it's not for him because plot, and goes back to engineering on the Enterprise

Kirk is shot on the bridge and dies

Kirk gets better

They watch 3D holos of old Doctor Who episodes in the Enterprise rec room

The Enterprise also has an AI named Moira, which was Zora long before Zora

The TOS crew get together for one last mission. About three times.

There's a Perry Mason book except it's about Kirk's lawyer from that TOS episode

Data 2.0 owns and runs a massive gambling empire on Orion

Spock keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

Scotty keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

Bones keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

You're on Tumblr so you already know about Killing Time

There's a guy named McKenzie Calhoun and he's a total badass and captains a ship of weirdos and misfits

Kirk comes back from the dead, saves the galaxy repeatedly, has an intersex child (who identifies as male) with a Romulan/Klingon hybrid

Kirk beats up Worf

Kirk's child has superpowers

Kirk's child saves the galaxy at age 6

The Kirk stuff is 100% ignored in the other novels

About 50% of the novels are ignored in the other 50%, and the ones that are meant to be in direct continuity with each other aren't always quite

Just like the TV shows and movies, then

Lwaxana Troi meets Q, and it goes as well as you'd expect

Someone tells Data, yes you idiot you had emotions all along and he's like, oh shit you're right

McCoy is left in command of the Enterprise as a joke by Kirk, who is then immediately kidnapped

Ro Laren is captain of Deep Space Nine

Picard/Beverly is a thing, they get married and have a child named Rene. No running away and raising your kid in secret here

Riker and Troi are married, serve on the Titan together with a bunch of adorable weirdos and have a daughter named Tasha

You get to watch all the 24th century characters die horribly in the end along with their entire universe. Holy fuck it's a bleak horror show. Personally, I love it. But if that's not your cup of tea I'd skip the Coda trilogy

[poweredbyadhd4life]

A few headcannons, because why not.

Daisy once threw a soccer ball at Hunter's face after he provoked her and he ended up needing to get fixed up by Jemma and they both got a very long lecture

Mack and Fitz play COD a lot

They ended up getting everyone else playing too

And they all got destroyed by Coulson once and he bragged about it nonstop

Until May decided to put him in his place and destroyed him

A Wii was snuck onto the base and Hunter ended up destroying a controller by yeeting it into a wall

It was unsalvagable

Fitz managed to sneak a monkey unto the Playground once, with the help of Daisy and Jemma, but the monkey ended up getting lose and none of them could catch it because (of course) it ended up being an evil genius. They had to call in May. She was not happy.

Mack has accidently broken a few controllers

Fitz once got stuck in a doorway

Daisy fell down the stairs once and just stayed on the ground, staring at the ceiling. She didn't get up for thirty minutes, contemplating her life choices

Daisy is an amazing bartender because she once had a job as a bartender when she was younger.

Daisy once hid speakers all over the Playground and started playing 'What a Man' and 'Starships' repeatedly, all night long.

Bobbi had set the kitchen on fire once and framed Hunter and to this day nobody knows it was her.

[pisshandkerchief]

I unironically think Cobra Starship is a work of satirical genius and Gabe Saporta may be one of the smartest men alive. you decide if this is a character flaw or a strength

[leletha-jann]

Ooh. A logistics problem I can throw fig leaves at!

Some things I'd consider (that don't necessarily negate the very valid points here, just things to add in)

Castle Wulfenbach canonically travels with a support fleet of attendant airships. It's an Airship City with suburbs, delightfully. And I'd bet at least a few of them are Evacuation Supplies Storage. These ships are probably the ones with the main reservoirs of gas canisters (away from where Science happens, which makes sense, I guess).

Collapsible mini-dirigibles stored just off-site and emergency reserves of compressed gas seem likely in general, especially because...

These are probably escape pods rather than navigable full-function, full-size airships. Escape pods as I understand them are built on Everybody Out principles. Escape pods need life support, hull integrity, and some basic method of propulsion to get their passengers away from the bad thing happening. That's about it. Maneuverability is optional; the important direction is Away. In this case Away is Down, which takes care of itself once you've gotten the crashing bit under control.

Phil just posted that Castle Wulfenbach is a kilometer long, which IS UNREASONABLY ENORMOUS. (I can't think about that as an airship, so I'm just going to think about it as a starship from now on. My Star Trek-raised brain is loading side-by-side screenshots for scale, realizing all over again that Castle Wulfenbach is bigger than that, and whimpering.)

I would posit that in this shot, Castle Wulfenbach (very large) is also quite high and far away (at that size you can see the thing a very long way off, and really the trick here is having it not blot out the sky), while these quite small escape pod gondolas are also quite close. That's why this ground captain is upset about the landing field, which Boris and Van are some distance from in their own right. All these barely-powered escape pod balloons are coming down at once with minimal control.

(Meanwhile, the airship bigger than the Enterprise-D hovers up there with, what, warp core breach sirens going off? Klaus up there giving wasped orders? Something else?)

What the devil is going on here?!?!? becomes a better question all the time, actually!

And maybe that's - for this page - "this is an artist's impression of an airship evacuation in progress." Ah well.

What in the Clown Car Nonsense????

iDrigibles operate on displacement. this Is Actually Impossible under standard consideration

like seriously, that's like a hundred aircrafts at least! Even in the most space effective canister you can't store that much gas! and if they took the gas out of the castle's gasbag that only raises more questions!

And that's just the Gas! where were the gondolas??? Where were the Ribs???? Where in God's Name did they have this much ballast???? the sheer mass of stuff depicted here Blows my mind!!

I can posit a few mitigating strategies?? That make this less outrageously impossible:

majority of these structures are Collapsible and were in storage.

they have either no ballast or almost no ballast, and so they have no power to ascend. incredibly dangerous when there's this many crafts in the sky, but at least that results in a logisticlaly possible to distribute and launch in a such a tight timeframe

the castle is falling because more than half it's buoyant load went to these support craft (I hope this one isn't true, it would be such a waste of an engineering marvel and also Gil's childhood home)

the castle has a patently absurd amount of gas transported in canisters, if so, presumably in the name of an occasion exactly like this one.

the castle had the facilities to keep and/or create large quantities of buoyant gasses so cold that they're solids

a device comparable to Agatha and Gil's improved Lightning generator, or more likely several such devices, are being used to unfuse a huge volume of water into Hydrogen and Oxygen. I am more than slightly alarmed by the implied high voltage near high oxygen concentration this implies, but emergency solutions are not always themselves recommended practice (since theoretically this kind of evacuation would be for exceedingly dangerous happenings, so the threat becomes relative) (and begs the question once more of what the devil is going on here?!?)

[a-noone]

If Kirk and Roddenberry Talked

Kirk: So you're my creator.

G.R.: I am. I tried to envision a perfected future. Now, I myself, am a polyamorous man.

Kirk: That's great, me too.

G.R.: I made you that way.

Kirk: That part is pretty great. I mean, I would hate to have to choose between Bones and Spock.

G.R.: ::spits out his coffee:: I'm sorry WHAT?

Kirk: What?

G.R.: I gave you female love interests of every size, shape, color, species, and description.

Kirk: I thank you for that, sir, but at some point a man has to settle down! I don't know if this had occurred to you, but romance is hard work, and I have a lot of responsibilities as a starship captain.

G.R.: (wistfully) Married to the Silver Lady.

Kirk: No. Married to my two best friends. You... intentionally made me poly... just so that I could be single forever?

G.R.: But, wait. Vulcans are monogamous. They fight to the death for their females.

Kirk: For their mates, yes. But Spock is half human, and so instead of killing Bones, he teases the shit out of him, insists everything he says is wrong, constantly wants to be on top---

G.R.: On... top...

Kirk: And occasionally bites him.

G.R.: I...

Kirk: Highly entertaining to watch.

G.R.: I simply assumed you'd be heterosexual.

Kirk: Sir, one time I fucked a plantoid. Everyone's genitals are compatible if you're not a coward. I'm much more concerned with a person's mind than their conformity to some arbitrary standard of beauty, and I couldn't care less about their gender.

G.R.: But Carol Marcus...

Kirk: Was a genius. I loved that about her. Why does this bother you so much, man? :: Realization dawns :: Oh. OH. I was your self-insert character. Wasn't I.

G.R.: The three of you were. Spock was my mind, Bones was my heart, and you were the balance between them.

Kirk: So you took one character, split it into three parts, made sure that we were a perfect orchestra of thought.

G.R.: Yes! Exactly that!

Kirk: And.... you're... confused... that we got married.

G.R.: :-(

[dustykneed]

pietà (*major spoilers for st:id! death cw!*) full image below additional spacer.

i like to think that aos bones has an interesting relationship with parenthood...

especially pertaining to his relationship with jim. not that he sees jim as his son, necessarily (i don't think they're deliberately portrayed that way in canon, nor do i headcanon them like that, but honestly fandom is fun because we all have fun in our sandbox, so if anyone happens to see them that way, neat!)

but when you're a parent, and at the same time a parent friend, it's easy to take the path of least resistance when it comes to defining the undefinable relationship you have with this guy you can't seem to live without.

is he your captain? your best friend? your patient? a command prodigy and a tactical genius? a sight for sore eyes? your personal nuisance? the one and only person you can't seem to get rid of, who drags you places you hate and points out everything beautiful to you and beams like he won the lottery when you can't help but grin just a little, who brings the light back into places you forgot could be lit up like the dawn, who saw you at your worst while actively at his own worst, and plopped his fool ass down and decided you were worth fighting for?

and that's a lot of things. especially many when you're fighting tooth and nail to keep his scrap-happy ass intact and also keep an eye on a whole starshipful of people. it's a lot easier to stick to what you know-- whatever is the least risky, the safest option, one that could never possibly backfire and bite you in the ass. sometimes you forget he could see you as anything other than a parent (give or take the friend.) but parenthood goes hand in hand with grief. parenthood has its own set of burdens. but it's easy to put yourself in that box and pretend to forget about all the other boxes, collecting dust in the closet, and sometimes he prods at the closet door with something pleading in his eyes. you pretend not to see that, either.

...you don't take it well, when he dies.

[v-o-i-d-e-d]

May we have a oneshot based on this scene (https://youtube.com/watch?v=BgVJDd5vHfw&feature=share) for Spockxreader?

Omg, I love this scene! Of, course I will do it! I altered some parts just a little bit but the gist is the same. I hope you like it!

Title: Hello Sweetie

Pairing: Spock x fem!reader, implied platonic Jim Kirk x reader, and platonic Bones x reader

Warnings: canon violence, it's implied that Jim meddled for matchmaking purposes, nothing else I think

Word Count: 2924

She really shouldn’t have been here. Pure lunacy had gotten her here in the first place. Doctor (Y/N) (L/N) was never meant for this type of fieldwork and she was willing to bet that her own lack of skill was a huge reason why she was in this particularly dangerous situation. She was stood in the middle of a very ornate room – a sort of banquet hall she surmised – with her hands cuffed in front of her. Her elegant dress was singed at the hem and her hair had fallen out of its elegant updo. She looked around and noticed there were a total of three other people in the room all of whom wore heavy robes with hoods to obscure most of their faces: the alien guard beside her the one behind her and the one standing by the door they just came in through.

            “You know when I get invited to parties, normally there’s food,” She said to the guard who stood closely to her right. He did not acknowledge her at all and his large, bug-like eyes stayed focused on the door at the other end of the room. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, “So much for small talk.”

            As she shifted her weight from foot to foot with impatience she couldn’t help but place partial blame on the genius who thought this plan up in the first place. Captain James T. Kirk. Just a day earlier he had cornered (Y/N) in her office and asked her to take part in a simple recognizance mission.

“I’m telling you this is an easy mission and it will go off without a hitch! You’re in, you’re out, you’re done,” Kirk pleaded as he followed her out into the main area of the medbay. He had just explained how it would be perfect for her because she was sociable and friendly. Of course, he couldn’t help but add in the added benefit of her good looks. “People will be spilling their guts to you! All you gotta do is bat those eyelashes.”

“Captain, this is harassment. I told you: missions like that are not in my job training.” (Y/N) turned to face Kirk and used her hand to apply emphasis to her statement. “I. Am. Not. Going. End of story.”

The door opened after what felt like hours but what was only a few minutes. (Y/N) watched as an alien that looked similar to the guard but larger walked confidently into the room accompanied by a few other guards. The big alien was dressed in fine clothes and had an elaborate and heavy-looking headdress on, signaling to (Y/N) that it would be good for her health to not piss him off. She stayed silent until the alien stood so close to her that she could smell him. He smelled of rotten meat and expensive oils.

“You are Doctor (Y/N) (L/N) of the starship Enterprise.” He said. “I have reason to believe you are a cohort of Commander Spock.”

This took (Y/N) by surprise. Her brows furrowed and her lips tugged into a frown. Sure she had worked with Spock plenty of times but surely not enough to be considered a cohort, or associated with him by name.

“I think there’s been some sort of mistake here. I don’t even know Commander Spock that well!”

“Spock suggested you specifically for the mission.”

(Y/N) paused and dropped her hand down to her side. Kirk could very well be lying just to get her to agree but then why else would he want a surgeon doing a spy’s job.

“No, he didn’t. You just want me to give in,” She huffed and gathered some old patient files that needed to be sorted and brushed passed Kirk and into her office. She couldn’t deny the rush of warmth spreading across her face but she could do her best at hiding it.

“I’m serious! He said you were beautiful and that you would be disarming enough to get people to talk to you about anything,” Kirk once again followed (Y/N) into her office but this time stopped to lean on the door frame. He crossed his arms and smirked as he watched the doctor deadpan at him.

“Commander Spock said that? Those exact words?” She didn’t believe Spock even knew how to actually compliment people, even behind their backs.

The alien huffed and one of his henchmen stepped forward. He was very scrawny and his large eyes darted wildly around the room.

“We have reliable intel that you are close to the Enterprise’s second-in-command and we would like you to divulge his whereabouts. We know that he has been trying to infiltrate our databases and that is a crime that can not go unpunished,” his voice was harsh, like a steaming tea kettle and (Y/N) winced.

“Well, I’m sorry but your intel is wrong. I wouldn’t even classify us as friends. Well, I mean it’s not that I don’t want to be his friend. I actually like him a lot but he spends just about every moment with me in silence or critiquing me so-“

“Enough! Quit your useless rambling and tell us where he is!” The boss alien thundered out so loud that the floor seemed to shake. (Y/N) was officially freaked out.

“Look, I’m telling you, I have no idea where he is! I don’t even know if he’s on this planet!” She pleaded with the aliens and hoped they believed her because it was the truth. She hadn’t seen Spock for a while, even before Kirk made her go on this mission.

“Yeah, he didn’t say those exact words but that’s definitely what he meant to say. I could tell.”

“Kirk, get out of my office.”

Kirk sighed and walked up to the desk, “Just please do this mission. We are so close to our goal we just need a little push. (Y/N)-

            “Doctor (L/N).”

            “(Y/N). Please.”

If there’s one thing that (Y/N) can’t resist, it’s James being sincere. It just happens so rarely that she caves right away. After a moment of glaring into Kirk’s pleading eyes, she rubbed her eyes and sighed, “Fine!”

            “Yes!” Kirk pumped his fist in victory.

            “But I want to talk to Spock first.”

Kirk paused and side-glanced before looking back at (Y/N), “You can’t.”

            “Why not?”

            “Cause he’s on the mission.”

            “I thought you said he asked for me. How could he have told you that if he’s on mission already?” (Y/N) raised an accusatory eyebrow, she was sure she caught Kirk in his lie but he was quick.

            “Because he just left this morning. Now find your hottest dress and meet me in the transport room for your briefing,” Kirk tapped the desk before quickly exiting the room.

            “Wait, Now?!”

(Y/N) could honestly say she had not thought of how to get out of a situation like this. All attention was on her – something that she would normally thrive with – but she was at a loss for words for the first time in her life. The big alien grumbled and leaned forward to look closer at her face. She didn’t hide her fear.

            “Look, I swear on my life I don’t know what Spock is doing or where he is,” She couldn’t hide the tremble in her voice but she tried to be as firm as possible.

            “Humans,” the alien spat, “They lie so blithely.”

            “I’m not lying!”

            “How can you claim to like someone but know nothing about them? You are lying!”

(Y/N) huffed and rolled her eyes, “Just because I like him does not mean he likes me! The guy does not even think that way! He doesn’t talk to me unless it has something to do with my job!” She had stepped forward during her rant but was immediately seized by the guards that were closest to her. They gripped tightly on her upper arms but the guard on her left quickly loosened his grip and she couldn’t help but think that the sensation was familiar. It reminded her of her first meeting with Commander Spock.

            She was in a hurry to get to the medbay as she had been sent a 9-1-1 message by Bones. In her hurry she had been completely disregarding the safety of other people in the halls, bumping into several people while shouting an apology over her shoulder. It was while she was giving one of these hurried apologies that she managed to bump into a solid form that barely stumbled while she went tripping toward the ground. With a yelp, she braced for the ground but was stopped by a strong hand taking hold of her upper arm.

            “Doctor (L/N), it’s not safe to be running through the halls. The hazard is amplified when one is not paying attention.”

The monotone voice of Commander Spock caused (Y/N) to snap her eyes open and scramble to stand on her own two feet rather than being suspended by her arm.

            “Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry, Commander! You’re totally right, I wasn’t paying attention-“

            “Apology accepted, Doctor,” Spock interrupted her rambling and then walked passed her without waiting for a response. (Y/N) huffed and frowned as she too walked away from the scene of the social crime.

            “Well, isn’t he a sweetie,” She grumbled before picking up her pace through the halls, this time paying attention to where she was going.

            From then on, “sweetie” was (Y/N)’s nickname for Spock. She was careful to never say it to his face since she had worked with him a lot more since the “incident” but in private and amongst friends, the sarcastic endearment rolled easily off the tongue. It got to the point where she even used it with the Captain.

            “Why do you call him that, it’s weird,” Kirk questioned one day over drinks in the lounge.

            “Because every time I talk to him, he’s an asshole. I think it’s funny.”

Kirk laughed and sipped his whiskey. “Well, I think you might have a crush on our favorite Vulcan.”

            “Oh, I definitely do,” (Y/N) was very direct. Kirk choked on his drink in surprise and coughed as (Y/N) continued, “But that’s out of the equation because I don’t even think Spock thinks about anyone unless they’re useful for something he needs doing.”

            (Y/N) downed the last of her drink and shook her head to try to rid herself of the floaty state the alcohol put her in. In the morning, she would regret letting James Kirk in on her best-kept secret but she was not worried about that or anything else except for going to bed.

            “Well, speak of the devil,” Kirk said with a smirk. Spock walked in with his hands clasped behind his back and his usual blank expression. Upon noticing the state of his friend and his colleague he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

            “Oh, hello, sweetie!” (Y/N) laughed at her own words and Kirk couldn’t help but laugh as well. Spock was stunned into silence. He let his hands drop to his sides and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He didn’t know exactly how to respond, she had never called him anything other than his name and rank before. He decided to ignore the sudden endearment.

            “Captain, you’re needed on the bridge,” He managed to finally say what he needed to say before quickly turning and leaving the room.

            When Kirk took the liberty of retelling the story to (Y/N) the next morning, she was mortified.

            The large alien hisses to one of his henchmen in a language (Y/N) doesn’t understand and then another one of them steps forward. In a tone that seemed to be unsure of the words he was saying, he started,

            “Our studies show that typically when one human likes another, the feeling is reciprocated,”

            “Spock is not human,” (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh before correcting herself, “Well, not all human.”

            “Then you have no reason to protect him.”

            “That’s not how feelings even work! Not human ones! I admire him and I will protect him but I do not expect any such action from him. Just as I don't expect a sunset to admire me back or for the stars to gaze back at me! Feelings are not about reciprocity!”

            “This does not align with our intel,” The big alien was clearly angry, and (Y/N) had a strong feeling that things would not go well from here but as she said she would do her best to protect Spock.

            “Regardless of your intel,” (Y/N) scoffed, “Commander Spock has much more important things to do than worry about me or what I’m doing so. I’m of no use to you. Let me go.”

            Why did she never know when to shut up?

The large alien’s face stretched into what (Y/N) had to assume was his version of a grin but looked more like he was preparing to eat her. She wouldn’t doubt it if she was being honest.

            “If you are of no use for giving information, you can be put to other uses, Doctor.”

            “What? Wait!”

The guard to her right started to lead her back toward the door they came through and (Y/N) began to struggle.

            “Take her to the nursery, the larvae must be fed,” The big alien ordered with a loud cracking laugh. Just as (Y/N) yanked harshly away from the guard pulling her, the guard to her left took firm hold of her arm once more but instead of leading her forward, he tugged her back into him. Suddenly, he pulled a phaser and shot the other guard. Crying out in fear, (Y/N) struggled once more to get away from this rogue guard as the henchmen began to make their way over to stop him. The guard removed his hood and revealed his face.

            “Commander!” (Y/N) gasped and her cheeks reddened. Everyone paused for a brief moment of shock before the big alien roared for his henchmen and guards to seize the two star fleet officers. Spock shot a few more before looking down at (Y/N) with an almost unnoticeable smirk.

            “Hello, Sweetie,” He said before moving his grip from (Y/N)’s arm to her hand and pulling her to a run. (Y/N)’s face was warm and it was not because of the running. She couldn’t help but laugh as they ran through the corridors, dodging phasers and guards. “We have to get to the front entrance. That’s the only place Scotty can beam us up!” Spock shouted over his shoulder.

            “Right!”

They ran until they reached the front room. Standing in the middle of the room was not the best option but they were only there for a moment before they both felt the familiar feeling of being beamed up to the transport room. Upon their arrival, Spock immediately ushered (Y/N) toward the awaiting Doctor Bones.

            “I’m fine! Just a few cuts and bruises. Nothing I haven’t had before,” (Y/N) tried to wave the grouchy Doctor away but he swatted her hands away and then removed the cuffs.

            “I’ll be the judge of that, cupcake. You look like you caught on fire.” He was gesturing to the hem of her dress.

            “I think for a moment I did,” (Y/N) laughed while Bones shook his head.

            “All right, you’re free to go. You too, Spock.”

Bones finally released the two, though he had told Spock that he could leave about twenty minutes ago. The Vulcan had refused. Spock and (Y/N) walked side by side in silence for a while before Spock broke it.

            “You have misread me.”

(Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows and looked up at her Commander who was still looking straight ahead. “What do you mean, Commander?”

            “My feelings about you. You have misread them.”

Her eyes widened. In the chaos of escape, she had forgotten that Spock was standing right next to her when she basically saying she loved him. Okay, slight exaggeration but she still felt embarrassed.

            “Oh.” That was all she said. All she could say. Another time of silence passed.

            “I apologize if my actions suggested that I do not enjoy your company,” Spock was deliberate with his words as if he didn’t know if what he was saying was the right thing. The tips of his ears were tinged a faint green when he finally paused in his step to look at (Y/N). She noticed the blush on his ears and couldn’t help the small smile that snuck onto her face.

            “So, you like to hang out with me?”

            “Well, I’ve never accompanied you in a social setting so it would be illogical for me to say that I like something that I have not tried.”

            (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

            “However, I do enjoy working with you. You are very good at your job, Doctor (L/N),” Spock clasped his hands behind his back so that (Y/N) would not see him picking at his cuticles. He was nervous.

            “(Y/N).”

            “Pardon?”

            “Call me (Y/N). Outside of work obviously,” (Y/N) shrugged and looked away from Spock’s intense gaze.

            “(Y/N).” She could’ve melted at the way her name sounded coming from his lips. It was experimental and a bit rigid sounding but it was a start. She finally looked back into Spock’s eyes and smiled brightly.

            “Do you want to go get dinner with me, Spock? I’m starving,” (Y/N) resumed her walk, this time in the direction of the cafeteria. She heard Spock’s steps fall in line with hers.

            “I highly doubt that you are starving. You always attend normal meal times which means you must have eaten this morning,” Spock said in a matter-of-fact tone. (Y/N) laughed and shook her head.

            “It’s an expression, Spock.”

[domomochan]

fuck this guy and his cozy ass outfit

silly guy compilation

[infiglo]

Starship genius ssb and happyman from a while ago

I was going to also add ratboy and green monster but I can't find the brush I was using on my new computer so I probably won't

[fanfoolishness]

Five Times We Woke

Five times the Batch woke up in the middle of the night. Hurt/comfort, angst, nightmares, PTSD, with some soft Omega & Crosshair at the end. Set after the return to Tantiss. ~2400 words.

---

He’s on Eriadu again.

Some nights it takes him by surprise.  He might be wandering the streets of Ord Mantell, Omega high on his shoulders, so light she’s nearly weightless -- and then his arms and legs strain, the railcar impossibly heavy.  Or maybe he’s back on Kamino, some mixed-up scene with droids and regs and Kaminoans and Jedi.  Tech turns to him, a skinny cadet with huge brown eyes and goggles that swallow his face, his high-pitched voice racing with facts and theories and genius leaps -- and then he’s dangling above the clouds, so close, so impossibly far.  

Sometimes it isn’t Eriadu. He stalks ruined starships on Bracca.  There’s an order blazing in his head, an ache, a sense of something wrong, but his arms and legs move like they’re still his.  This is what he wants, isn’t it?  What he’s supposed to do?  Good soldiers --  

And then it’s not just Tech gone, it’s Omega small and still and quiet, it’s Tech and Hunter and Echo crumpled on the ground, orders followed, orders followed, something he can never take back --

But always he finds himself back in the high mists, the ground below unknowable, the wind buffeting him like he was a rag doll.  It’s going to be different this time.  If he’s just faster, if he’s just stronger, if he can close the distance between the cars so Tech can make the jump --

Hope pulses in him like a heartbeat.  Every time.

Fails him.  

Every time.

He tries for Tech.  Fails again.  And Tech looks up at him, brown eyes disappointed, his voice cold and tight and angry in Wrecker’s ear.  “You could have saved me.   Plan Ninety-Ni-”

Wrecker wakes up panting, hands outstretched to the empty air.  He sits there in his bunk blinking into the dark, until he gets to his feet, pads to where they keep Lula, holds her close until his heart stops racing.

He wouldn’t blame me.  He wouldn’t. 

Tells it to himself, over and over, Lula soft and safe within his hands.

---

He smells blood and metal, smoke and sparks, scorched pines roaring with flame.  Tech.  His brother’s name chokes in his mouth.  It’s too late, too late, they’ve lost him.  

But the others --

He follows the wreckage on his hands and knees.  Spots a little hat, blood-stained in the loam.  Spots a little figure, curled up on her side.  Feels for her pulse, hands scrabbling, shouting her name --

There’s nothing to feel.

He holds her in the smoke until the stormtroopers find them.  What does it matter now?  He rocks her in his arms, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry --

The conditioning on Tantiss goes on forever.  Blinding, shrieking pain, a fog billowing over his memories, the screams of his brothers ringing in his ears.  Wrecker doesn’t make it.  Crosshair does.  Hunter joins him, sees the deadness in the eyes of a hollow man he once called brother, and he doesn’t mind it, doesn’t mind anything, there’s only the mission and the Empire and death once they’ve outlived their use.  They march out of the lab and pass vast green-lit tubes.  

She floats in one, wires everywhere, brown eyes flickering in recognition.  A little hand moves to flail against the glass, but he doesn’t stop -- he just keeps marching --

White halls of Kamino, regs pouring through, a sense of being watched.  Her small face beams up at them and he turns away.  She’s got nothing to do with them. 

They don’t come back to Kamino again.  

They never see her again.

He’ll never know what he was missing --

Hunter wakes up, tears in his eyes.  He lays in darkness, willing his breath to slow, and reaches out desperately with his senses.  

There’s the musky scent of Batcher nearby, mingled with sand and surf.  The gentle snores of Wrecker in the next bunk, the slight shadow of Crosshair curled beneath the blankets across the room.  And the quiet, steady breaths of Omega down the hall, soft and calm and even.  He counts them into the hundreds until he falls back to sleep.

---

Sleep is a dark time.  Often he puts it off, reluctant to give it a chance to take hold and bring with it dreams.  He’s familiar with this tactic, one he long used in his quarters on Coruscant, his cell on Tantiss.  Both were hated places where the quiet could catch up to him, if he let it.  The longer he stayed awake the more he could ward off what lay in wait for him.

But they’re on Pabu now, and sleep comes easier, even if the old shadows still linger.

Sometimes it’s faces.  Civilians with the Partisans, the Jedi boy on Kaller, the Governor of Desix.  Cody with shame and distrust in his eyes, Mayday’s easy grin, his labored breathing.  Tech disappointed beneath the waves of Kamino, convinced he’d never change, turning away from him for the last time.

It’s almost easier when it’s sensation, old terrors, old hurts -- the headaches gnawing, the searing agony of burns and ice and poison, the hollows of starvation, cold water closing over his face.  Or --

His hand, shaking.

His hand, severed.

His hand, haunting.  

The pain clips through the dreams at times, sharp and bristling, dull and aching, an undercurrent thrumming in the background.

One night he stands in the cell on Tantiss, fingers curling through the grate, and he squares his shoulders and tells his sister he deserves to be there.

Omega turns back to him, her eyes cold, and she says, “You’re right.”

He gasps.  Something’s on his chest, a vast pressure, bony and clumsy.  A tongue drags across his face.  Crosshair rolls over and Batcher gives him a happy sniff, then resumes licking his chin.  He bats her away and she relaxes contentedly on the ground beside his bunk.  

Crosshair blinks up at the dark ceiling.  This isn’t Tantiss; it’s their little home on Pabu.  They’re safe.  He’s safe.

His missing hand aches.  He massages the stump with his left hand, letting out a long breath until the burning and crackling feelings fade into a dull pulse.  

Crosshair fumbles around for his packet of toothpicks, slips one into his mouth, and chews it until it cracks.  He goes through five before he falls back to sleep, and he tries to remember to breathe in, and breathe out.

---

Sometimes it’s Tantiss.

The years in the Vault stretch away.  She’s under such heavy guard after her last escape attempt.  There is no more hope of another.  Not after Hemlock leads her into a wide white room and shows them to her, her dear brothers, Echo, Wrecker, Crosshair, Hunter… not after she weeps on their chests, not after their faces stay still and gray, not after Emerie takes her back and tells her to let them go.

She grows up in the Vault, watching other children come and vanish, fading away after the experiments and tests, and when she’s old enough and beaten down enough she makes the rounds with Emerie, scientist and subject both.  She reports directly to Hemlock, now with silver in his hair, and he tells her with a foul smile how valuable she is.

Sometimes it’s Kamino.  The little boys of batch 99 are taken away, and she catches glimpses of them in the halls, one sturdy and broad, one wide-eyed in goggles, one silver-haired, one the others orbit around.  She tries to catch them in the halls between their missions, but she’s so small, so slow, so easy to overlook.  An order goes out and she feels the galaxy shift, something telling her it’s her last chance -- 

And she doesn’t find them.  

Overhears one day that they went AWOL.

She works with Nala Se in the labs, until Hemlock comes to Kamino, until he takes them both and the tests begin again.

Sometimes it’s just the little back room of Cid’s bar.  It’s warm and familiar, she’s napped here dozens of times, it’s cozy.  So why do things feel off?  She rubs her eyes, realizing she’s sore but she’s all right.  Relief fills her.  If she’s all right, the others must be, too.

Hunter looks at her, and he’s trying not to cry.

The others must be, too.

Wrecker is crying.

No, no, no, no --

Some nights, when she startles awake with tears on her cheeks, she gets up and goes for Lula.  Lula’s usually there in her spot, but when she isn’t, Omega finds her nestled safely in Wrecker’s arms.  That’s when she climbs up into the bunk beside him, resting her head on his shoulder as he sleeps.

Some nights she whistles low under her breath for Batcher.  She sits beside her on the floor, stroking her short hair, breathing in and out, in and out.  Batcher makes an excellent pillow, if a giant, snoring one.

Some nights she creeps over to Crosshair’s bunk, hauling her blanket and pillow with her.  She finds a comfortable spot on the floor and listens to him breathe.  Sometimes he shifts, his arm spilling over the side of the bunk to dangle, and she holds his hand or his stump until she gets sleepy.  

Sometimes she wakes up and Hunter’s already at the door to her room.  “Hey, kid,” he murmurs.  “Bad dreams?”

“Yeah.  …Tell me it’s all right, Hunter?”

“It’s all right, Omega.  We’re all right.”  And he comes and sits with her, letting her rest her head in his lap, and he strokes her hair until she falls asleep.

---

She’s sleeping well tonight, dreamless comfortable sleep after a long day on the beach with Lyana and Eva.  But she wakes up in the dark anyway, confused for a moment until she blinks and catches the outline of Crosshair’s shadow in her doorway.

“Crosshair?” she whispers.  “Is everything okay?”

“There’s something you might like to see,” he says softly.  “Come on.  The others are already up.”

“What is it?”

There’s a hint of warmth in his voice.  “It’s a surprise.”

She stumbles out of bed, yawning, and follows him in her bare feet out to the patio.  Hunter and Wrecker are on the ground, blankets stretched out beneath them, their hands under their heads as they gaze up at the sky.

“What are you looking at?” Omega asks curiously as she and Crosshair join them on the ground.  

“Look up,” Hunter says, smiling.  She follows his instructions.  

“Oh --”

The stars are moving.  Not the dance of shifting into hyperspace, symmetric, linear streams of blue and white: but something different, stars streaking across the dark in arcing rays.  Some are silvery-blue, others seem reddish or gold, but all are random.  Here the darkness seems to hold its breath for a moment, waiting for the next burst of light; there they cascade in a shower of several stars in a heartbeat.  Omega watches them all, mesmerized.

“Meteor shower,” Wrecker murmurs.  “Pretty neat, huh?”

“They’re beautiful,” Omega whispers, a huge grin stealing over her face.  

They watch the stars into the early morning, until the black of night begins to shift into a blush of violet, until the meteors and their dances begin to fade.  Omega yawns, then sits up, stretching her stiff arms and neck.  

Wrecker and Hunter have fallen asleep.  She glances at Crosshair, still laying on his back with his right arm resting on his chest, looking up at the stars.  He catches her looking at him.

“Enjoy the show?”

“Yes,” she says softly.  “I’ve never seen that before.  It was so lovely.  Thank you for getting me up.”  She crosses her legs, resting her hands in her lap while she looks at him.  “Did you know it was coming?”

Crosshair shakes his head.  “No.  Went outside to get some fresh air, and saw it.  Figured you’d all like to see.”

She nods, feeling wistful.  “Tech would have liked it, too, don’t you think?”

Crosshair chuckled.  “Tech probably would have known it was coming weeks in advance, instead of finding it accidentally.”

The idea warms her, and she loses herself in a moment picturing Tech insisting they all watch, pointing up at the sky, telling them the name of the meteor shower, what system it had originated from, when it might happen again.  She misses him, but not in a jagged, crying way right now: it’s the softer kind of missing, gentler, almost a good kind of missing.  She lets it wash over her.

“You all right?”

“Just thinking about him,” Omega says.  She rests her chin in her hands, regarding Crosshair.  The circles under his eyes are darker than she’d like.  Maybe it’s just because they’ve been up half the night, but she wonders.  Why was he out here in the first place to see the stars?  “Are you sleeping all right, Crosshair?”

“...hhm.”  He stops chewing the toothpick in his mouth, and his eyes darken.  “Not always,” he admits.  

Omega lays back down, edging closer to him.  He shifts, allowing her to wiggle in and rest her head on his shoulder, dropping his arm over her to bring her closer.  He’s different to snuggle than Wrecker -- so strong and broad and comfortable -- or Hunter -- lean but sturdy and safe.  Crosshair is all sharp angles, sometimes awkward to hug or sidle up against.  Yet she only loves him all the more for it, the work it takes to find a comfortable spot for both of them, the change she’s seen in him where it gets easier for him to hug her, all the time.

“I don’t always sleep well either,” she says.  “There’s… there’s a lot to have bad dreams about.  For all of us.”

He nods slightly, leaning into her, her hair brushing his cheek.

“If you ever want someone to sit with, if it’s a bad night, you can always get me,” Omega whispers.

“You shouldn’t have to do that.”  He lets out a long, slow breath.  “But if you can’t sleep… wake me up.  Any time.”

“Only if you wake me up,” she says stubbornly.  “Or Hunter, or Wrecker, or Batcher.  You don’t have to be alone, not anymore.”

She glances at him.  His eyes are closed, toothpick trembling between his teeth, his mouth tucked.  He opens his eyes again, giving her a glare, but his face softens before he gets a single word out.  “Fine.  Who taught you to negotiate so well?” 

She giggles.  “All of you.”

He sighs.  “Of course.”  He squeezes her shoulder, and she rests against him, content.

The last of the stars twinkle above them, ghosts of meteors still trailing little paths through the fading night sky.  The next night, she falls asleep thinking of stars shooting through the blue-black dark, her brothers close beside her, safe and sound; and they all sleep long, long, into the next day.

[mage-ical-character-person]

hm.

ever since I learned of Mr Puzzles and unlocked forbidden childhood memories of watching the old stuff from the whole SMG4 thing. (Like I recall a thing where the main Mario recolor was reading a book and then there was the immma firing my laser thing. In space I think?) Thinking… mostly making connections to other medias like Ratboy Genius and going “well I liked a similar thing there so I SHOULD like this as well”

Basically I am intrigued! But when I watch it it feels like. I would rather be watching um.

Other web series(es? Do you count the whole Ratboy channel as one series? Cause all this stuff was fairly separate series-es before Starship Genius brought it all together) that also has a guy who is a purple recolor of the main character who shares a name with the channel. And it has musical numbers. And also sort of does that thing where you can laugh at it or you can get invested and then the weird stuff you were laughing at becomes atmospheric.

God I love Ratboy Genius. I don’t post about it much because I have trouble being even vaguely coherent about it most of the time and it suits a very specific undefined mood that I’m not often it. But. All I can think about when I watch this other thing is how much I LOVE Ratboy Genius.

scratches the same surreal storytelling itch without the… ytp nature.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that it’s just kind of… hard to balance tone when mixing that with stuff I’m supposed to take seriously, I guess?? It’s hard to for me personally to get as invested as I feel like I should be in Mario shoots the autism creature with a gun being followed up by Splatoon OC psychological horror in that same episode. Like I can’t place it but the way it plays with tonal whiplash isn’t as smooth as something like Centaurworld or even just… Kirby?

don’t get me wrong, I still like it. It’s just not quite…. grabbing me? Something is holding it back from entering fixation territory for me and I feel weird about it.

And I’m not vibing with the “YTP but with OCs” thing as much as I did with say, Khonjin House. And like Gay Spaghetti Chef was my favorite part of Khonjin house I feel like I should love this. Maybe it’ll grow on me?

[EDIT: oh boy it has grown on me]

Also like?? These guys are affiliated with digital circus? The digital circus guys? Somehow? I think? Which also is a thing that’s making me think there’s gotta be like. Something other than just the TV man that should be grabbing me here. But I am literally just here for the freak that’s desperate for attention and yanks people into worlds of his own creation against their will to get it and Oh. THAAAT’s why I like Puzzles TV Man he’s like best friend

best friend. vvvvvvvv

best friend ^^^^^^^^^

Creature similar to best friend vvvvvvv