#Star Wars: The Force Awakens Behind-The-Scenes Video

[rwritingblog]

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Rewrite (And My Relationship With Star Wars)

So I'm a fan of Star Wars which if you know me isn't surpising. What is surpising however is the fact that I'm not a lifelong Star Wars fan. Of course I knew of Star Wars, everyone knows Star Wars but for most of my life I hadn't watched a single one of the movies or seen a single episode of The Clone Wars.

I can't tell you what made me decide to watch Force Awakens in 2018 but I did. And then I watched The Last Jedi, got about half way through. Not because I wasn't enjoying the movie but because it made me want to watch the others. That didn't work at as well because I didn't know what order to watch the movies in. The first Star Wars movie is called Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope while the fourth one is called Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace.

You can see where the confusion came from.

When I did figure it out I'm not going to lie it didn't capture me at first and Star Wars kind of faded out of my life for the next few years.

2020 was an odd year for everyone I'm no different. I was 17 years old who had just moved to an entirely different state in August the year before leaving all of my friends behind. I hadn't made any new ones and lost contact with my old ones. Bad year to be 17 honestly.

Now around this time a show I don't know if you've heard of, It's called The Mandalorian btw, was airing it's second season. Twitter was on fire and I didn't have anything better to do so I watched both seasons.

I fucking loved it.

Went back in watched the Original Trilogy and loved every second with them. My reaction to Darth Vader revealing he was Luke's father was this meme.

I'm not joking ethier I literally gasped and then said this meme out loud to myself.

I also had a blast with the Prequel Trilogy and the Clone Wars series. I even bought a lightsaber with money I had been given for my 18th birthday. (Yes I do in fact know how to do the obiani spin.)

And it's been four years now and I can't say any Star Wars media has captured me like the Prequel and Original Trilogies, the first two season of The Mandalorian, and Clone Wars did. (Andor and Rouge One are exceptions.) And that kind of upsets me because I fucking love this franchise man. I really do. (The cancellation of The Acolyte has not helped the matter honestly.)

There are two reasons this post and any other post I make on my Sequel rewrite.

A simple writing exercise

As an expression of love

I may not like Star Wars as it is today but I'll always look forward to what it'll be tomorrow. Force Awakens and The Last Jedi may not be my favorite part of Star Wars but they were the first Star Wars thing I saw. And for that I will always have a deep love for them and the characters within them.

With all of that out of the way. Let's Rock & Roll.

The Inspo & More!

The thing that inspired me to think about a Sequel Rewrite was the youtube video Star Wars - A Critique Of The Sequels by DX . specifically when he talks about the worldbuilding. He asks questions about where the First Order gets the money and man for their bullshit and my mind went into overdrive. It had already been rewriting Reylo scenes and going on rants about Rey's character. Thinking about the First Order seemed like the next step.

In my version of the sequels the First Order isn't a rebel group but a nation with it's own territory, laws, and govenment. The reason for this was simple; we haven't seen a war between nations in Star Wars yet. The Clone Wars was a civil war and so was the rebellion. This would be new ground.

How did the First Order Form?

Was a question I asked myself and to find the answer all I had to do was think about what would logically happen after the credits rolled on the Original Trilogy. The Outer Rim is kind of always left to the wayside by galactic powers, making it the perfect place for a now former Admiral of the Galactic Empire to hide from New Republic authorities.

It is also the perfect place for a sith to hide.

Say this Admiral, let's call him Val Snoke, meets a young sith woman named Darth Malith while hiding out in the Outer Rim. Together they form a team and take control of the Outer Rim and Hutt Space through cunning and trickery all with the goal of reforming the Empire with themselves at the head.

They also manage to grab hold of old Empire territory the New Republic hadn't gained a stronghold in. Making the First Order one of the most prominent forces in the galaxy. Darth Malith is the diplomat who runs intellgence while Snoke is responsible for the day-to-day military operations of the First Order. The Rule of Two is in full effect here.

By the time the sequel trilogy starts the First Order and the New Republic has been at war for a quite a while.

I had a section about Rey but I deleted because I hve thoughts and none of them make sense. So I'll make a whole other post just for Rey (and Kylo).

See You Soon,

Rebel

[kingsleigh]

i’m a video editor most of the time - and i’ve been searching for this bts force awakens shot literally forever.

I decided that, since I can’t find it in HD, i might as well make it HD myself - so i enhanced a keyframe, and put that into EbSynth along with the rest of the sequence.  It gave me an HD clip that i’ve used in this recent edit, up on my youtube page. super thankful for this technology.  it’s literally an editing lifesaver. plus i mean, we gotta see adam’s beauty in full HD, come on. ;)

[starwarscountdown]

Next best thing to a new trailer is a bts sizzle, which was debuted today at the Disney D23 Expo! There’s a LOT in this video, much to be inferred, much to be dissected and much to ponder on as we get closer to the release of the movie.

I’ll post some screenshots soon, but here’s the video for now, enjoy!

677 Days until Episode IX

314 Days until the Han Solo Movie

and

ONE

HUNDRED

FIFTY

THREE

DAYS

UNTIL

THE LAST JEDI

[erindrifter]

Feel free to talk shit about the Disney era of Star Wars, there's a lot of reason for it.

But holy shit, they have REALLY figured out how to get the lightsabers to look good!

Lightsabers, if you don't know, are blades of light. Their look is basically the camera sensor being overexposed from the light of the blade, which is why they have the white core with a colored halo around them.

However, they almost never actually light up their surroundings. Sure, sometimes the video games would do so, but not in the movies. The only time we see it in the movies is in Attack of the Clones, and it's so quick you could easily miss it.

The reason behind this is that the prop just had a stick on it, and the glowing effect was added in post production. It makes sense, technology just wasn't there quite yet.

But when Disney took over, I remember seeing a behind-the-scenes of the new lightsaber props, and they were basically the high-end toys you could buy, where there's the high-quality hilt, and a white tube with an LED at the base to light it up. This gives the saber the ability to emit light on camera. The sequel trilogy never really took full advantage of this, but the TV shows are using this to their fullest at every possible opportunity. Whenever there is a lightsaber, it's lighting everything around it up.

(spoiler for Obi-Wan Kenobi TV show)

The opening scene of the new Obi-Wan Kenobi show is Order 66, where we follow a group of younglings being led by a Jedi. She has a green lightsaber, and the environment is pretty dim, and the lightsaber is just beautiful. You can also tell it's a proper light source, instead of CG light on CG background, since it's also illuminating the actors, and it's too expensive for a TV show to try that digitally.

Give that scene a watch! I'm not posting pictures since it could spoil the scene if someone hasn't seen it before.

You can also see this effect in The Force Awakens during the final lightsaber battle between Rey and Kylo Ren.

[bigbox141]

Bathroom Thoughts EP4: Revenge of the Cheese

Argh, I was a day late wasn't I?

Hello again Tumblr! It is I, Boxman, Biggeth 141. Back from my week off, I shall bestow yet another bathroom thought. What's on the docket this time? Cheese.

takin me dump smells like swiss innit

So I'm sitting there, thinking as I do, cleaning out the basement, when I have a random thought: Cheese. Cheese, again. Why does it always come back to cheese?

sometimes i dream about cheese

Now, this thought isn't some odd motif that so happens to commence upon seating with the average toilet, no; This thought derives from recent memory wherein I was playing some games with the lads and we came across a peculiar game.

Y'all know Roblox, right? Live service kid-friendly framework for making games n' all that? It's got a pretty odd culture surrounding it, especially due to its demographic, though I tend to visit it often to see what interesting games have been made using the platform. A lot of the games are weird, such as the illustrious "SHREK: The Force Awakens" (yes, it was this game that I borrowed the namesake from for Bathroom Thoughts EP1, not the Star Wars film). But among those weird games, a good lad of mine found something that a friend of his was playing.

A horror game about a cheese corridor where you escape a giant mouse. Everything was cheese. The collectables, a la Slender, were cheese. The walls, were cheese. To start the game? You had to click on a cheese-wheel 30 times, each time emitting a sound effect of someone muttering "Cheeeese."

My friend very quickly became tired of this game and wanted to leave, but just as we were heading out, we began finding these actually rather compelling liminal spaces hidden behind keys scattered across the map. Like some, Backrooms + Yume-Nikki kinda stuff going on with lamps everywhere and empty rooms.

The game ended with a road where you just kinda walked down and the mouse would jumpscare you. Weirdly enough, I was so disillusioned by how odd the game was, that my guard was down and it actually startled me a bit. Despite that, I came out of it with a curious thought: "why does everything become cheese eventually?"

This is far from a first. Whenever there's a framework, there should be a timer to see how quickly a game is modified to incorporate cheese to some extent. Among these games, I find it odd that in spite of having its very own bread mod, that Cookie Clicker has yet to have a cheese mod. But you know what does have a cheese mod? Call of Duty Zombies. Huh?

(screenshotted from CustomZombies)

This is Cheese Cube Unlimited. It's a sequel to a cheese themed one-room map called Cheese Cube, now designed around a cylindrical rising corridor. Notorious for being one of the most difficult custom zombies maps in Call of Duty: World at War, it combines elements from the Black Ops games that would long succeed WaW, with cheese, cheese, and more cheese. It had everything, greasy oil slowly rising for some reason that would just kill you upon touching it, cheese-based parkour, and cheesy zombies coming at you as you fire at them with cheese-upgraded weapons and cheesy perks.

Yeah, that's a lot of cheese. There's more, though:

The next (official) generation of Call of Duty modding came in the form of Black Ops 3 integrating Steam workshop and SDK support. Naturally, what succeeded would be plenty of zombie maps, and among many of these were the Cheese Cube successors. Remakes, ports, sequels, even a potato-themed spinoff.

What the HELL is with all this cheese? Don't gimme wrong, cheese is awesome, but I swear I've never seen this phenomenon anywhere else but the video game modding/development scene.

How about a Garry's Mod addon that adds a cheese NPC that charges at you? Well that exists too. Not only do you (theoretically) click on cheese, but you inhabit the cheese, team with the cheese, attack the cheese... and the cheese? The cheese is ultimately the horrific creature that races at you through the night.

So then I wake up out of my daydream and finish my toilet-business when I come to the realisation that everything will always come back to cheese. It's like Godwin's law, except instead of discussions and a particularly unsavoury group of individuals, its the arts (normally digital) and cheese.

I yearn for the coming of an "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" type film but with CHEEESE.

Here's a thing btw

[chocolateslatte]

🚨The Rise of Skywalker Detailed Review and Spoilers Ahead🚨

George Lucas: “If the boy and girl walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand in the last scene, it adds 10 million to the box office”

The “fairytale” we got: A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, there was a curse of pain and death in a family that just went on and on.  They were never able to break it and they all die, the end. 

Well, you did it JJ, you little punk...you ruined 40 years of cinema. Kids are coming out of theatres crying, they can’t understand. I guess this was the “fun and hopeful ending” you were speaking of during the press tours.  Are you on crack or something, or just sadistic....why would you promote it like that!? Did you forget Star Wars at its core is a story of hope, light, a fairytale in space for children? They did it...they united Reylo’s and Fanboys through hate. 

JJ you do realize tragical romances are only tragically romantic if there was romantic buildup? Romeo and Juliet married in secret, Anidala did as well and flirted in the fields. How was this supposed to be satisfying? A five-second beginning, middle, and end. How this went through multiple execs is beyond me.... I would have understood if Reylo was Rian’s creation. BUT JJ LITERALLY was the one who told Rian to go forth with it...he created Reylo so you can’t say the last Jedi derailed things on that front. JJ wasn’t brave enough for his own vision. This movie was like “the crimes of Grindlewald”, a lot of stuff happening that made me feel nothing. 

Okay, first things first. The OG trilogy was necessary, the prequels were necessary to set up that Vader did not start off bad. What was necessary about the sequels? They just dismantled everything the Skywalker family worked for. Why did we have to see ALL of our favorite characters die? Was the aim that a villain can only be redeemed through death? How original. I’m convinced what they were planning for since force awakens was a journey from villain to hero...but instead we got this a 10min redemption resulting in death a la Vader. Why call Adam Driver’s character a “Disney Prince”?When did Happy endings become so controversial? We go to the movies to feel hope, to escape reality...George Lucas understood that. JJ’s trilogy is uninspired, bland and contributes nothing to the saga. JJ went as far as to recon his own “The Force Awakens”.It had the chance to define generations but no. Literal and utter garbage. Rian made some odd choices but he was bold, unafraid and had the vision. HE knew emotion was at the heart of Star Wars.

WHERE DID THE SKYWALKERS RISE? MORE LIKE RISE OF PALPATINE,  HE BLOODY WON

BUT my problem is not with the ending, it’s the bloody entire movie. This movie made me realize that it's not Reylo that I am a fan of, it was Ben, Leia, Han, Ani, Padme, and all those other characters. I’m upset because this movie is not my Star Wars: of family, love and above all else hope. This is just a 2.5-hour video game with no emotions. This trilogy was all angst with NO payoff.

Okay, you will never ever convince me Palpatine was planned the whole time. This whole movie was retcon for the Last Jedi that pissed off the fanboys. Lucas films did not have an outline for the three films and Rian derailed whatever they wanted to do....except they didn’t even tell him what they wanted! This should be a cautionary tale of why you need to plan. Kylo ain’t bad, Snoke is gone....well pull out Palpatine I guess. This whole film is JJ’s mad scrambling.  Alright, I will humor you, tell me how Palpatine came back when he fell down a shaft and exploded....not *boom boom because of force*. The force in this movie is not canon George Lucas force, it’s just an easy out whenever JJ wants one. 

1. Opening Crawl: As soon as I saw this I knew all the leaks were true, I wanted to bolt from the theatre. When I saw them in August I laughed cause it was so ridiculous it couldn’t be true. How could Disney let a whole movie leak? The plot seemed like a bad fan-fiction. Actually, fanfics are way more true to lore. Anyway, so Palpatine “announces” that he’s back. Is this the shrewd Chancellor Palpatine we know? Certainly, not...why in the world would he announce it rather than keep on the DL and just attack. Yo Palps ain’t this dumb why would you let them (the resistance) prepare?? Because of plot...well okay. 

2. Did Last Jedi even happen:  this film is the sequel to the force awakens, like TLJ never happened...except it’s acting like there was some movie in between that JJ made. Okay, so why is Kylo trying to run Rey over with his tie fighter...he doesn’t really want to kill her. It’s just meaningless action shots.  And don’t get me started on exposition, the dialogue: “hey look its the Knights of Ren”. Except they do nothing. Cool cool.  Kylo’s character goes back to Force awakens era like no development had occurred...except he’s not even there he’s just messing around not even being a real villain.  JJ’s specialty is set-up and he does this beautifully....but he can not wrap up and follow through. 

3. Rose Tico: yup last Jedi never happened, she has nothing to do. She and Finn are irrelevant. Finn has reverted to being obsessed with Rey. Cool Cool.  I honestly feel so bad for the lovely Kelly Marie Tran. How did you relegate a relatively big character into the sidelines?? Why introduce two new characters this late. Rose could have filmed in for them...but alas we must snub Rian at every turn because that’s just how petty JJ Abrams is. ( don’t get me wrong Jannah was cool)

4. The Rise Of Poe Dameron: Finn has been relegated to a side character who does nothing and just yells “REY!”. It was a great setup, a stormtrooper who was force sensitive but doesn’t want his life to be fighting for nothing. You could have explored trauma, the discovery of the light but nope nada. Tell me the point of his character journey. So flat and static. And with Jannah and the ex stormtroopers they could have gone with the arc of these lost, sad kids coming together to find family. 

5. Leia:  Okay you’re telling me our Princess would give up on her son before he was born, just throw away her lightsaber and accept Ben’s fate? Cool alright. And she knew about Rey Palpatine and didn’t say anything...my princess would never.

6. Mary Sue Rey: Ahh Rey this girl feels no emotion in this movie...just like the audience. Sure she’s trained but she can just do stuff with the “force” that even Jedi masters can’t. Stopping a whole starship, something even Yoda could barely do...yup she can do it. Beat Kylo all the time except one, yup she can. Manipulate the force in mind-boggling ways, heal people...sure Luke couldn’t but Rey certainly can.  Cause she is the chosen one...hell even Ani wasn’t this talented and he had years of training. Poe and Finn have a genuine connection, Rey just seems disjointed (totally understandable why)...but if so the ending is even worse. She doesn’t even find peace with her friends. She’s not realistic and human like Luke and Leia were. 

 Force sensitivity in the galaxy:  What a perfect setup, the boy with the broom at the end of TLJ that was force sensitive. The message is that the power to use the force was spreading through the galaxy. No longer confined to the elite. People were hearing of Luke’s battle of Crate and rising.

7. Kylo/Ben: I still maintain that he, other than Ani was the most nuanced character in the whole saga. His arc from Force Awakens to Last Jedi had progressed. How great that even someone from the legendary line of skywalker and solo could fall to the dark again. He wasn’t flat, he was a tortured boy that was conflicted since the first movie. How great would it have been to see him as a conflicted supreme leader, which was set up in TLJ. But *gasps* a plot of his very own, no can do, this is the nature of JJ’s crush on Rey and Daisy. 

Disney released comics that made us sympathize with him, to see that all along he was manipulated by Snoke, and Palpatine the voices in his head. Neglected by those who were supposed to love him. Adam Driver was cast perfectly, he had almost no lines that weren’t related to Rey’s charcater arc. If he were a woman I’m sure everyone would be offended. That single line’s delivery “Dad-”

Come on Poe had more lines than him, and Driver according to JJ was half of the protagonist. He was pitched an arc opposite that of Darth Vader that’s why he signed. Man JJ really did do everyone dirty. 

8. Ben had no lines while redeemed other than “ow”...I am so sorry ADAM that this nasty ass JJ did this to you...this part was 100% improv by Adam, I am willing to bet my life on it. You know why “ow” was brilliant? Cause it meant he felt pain and emotion, he was no longer hiding behind the hardness of Kylo REN. Adam’s performance as Ben left me speechless, he was convincing as Kylo, intimidating...but as BEN he shines in the way only Solo’s can. The way his eyes become determined once he accepts he must give his life, and he does so happily for the love of his life. His soulmate. Star Wars and JJ never deserved the talent that is Adam Driver.

9. They are supposed to be equals in the force yet they missed the opportunity to fight Snoke together. Tell me how they are equals. He existed only to further Rey’s plotline. 

Oh and the other Jedi including Anakin whisper and help Rey...when his own grandson has been asking for help in distress for like 30years. Nice real nice.

10. Finally Reylo:  it felt unearned cause there was no buildup, JJ just threw it in for kicks forgetting all the P&P parallels he was shooting for. An afterthought. Driver and Ridley’s acting saved the day, they had no lines.  Adam Driver is truly one of the finest actors. You could see the difference between Ben and Kylo in his subtle gestures...the sass was pure Han Solo.  

11. And then the death: I wouldn’t even say we won, but at what cost. We won in no way. Had he died fighting I would have understood, but this death was so unnecessary and put in just for the fanboys. Let me say again I would have been okay with death had it been justified.  How is this any different than Vader x Luke. JJ can only copy not create. How crazy that you can just bring people back from the dead...Anakin is here like, am I joke to you? I could have brought Padme back say what???? What was the point of his whole fall to the dark. The force is infinite, that’s the whole point...once you know how to use it you can’t run out of it like juice. Oh, and Ben did not become one with Rey but rather the Force according to the Disney website. So why pray tell did he not appear as a force ghost? I’m convinced JJ was on crack.  

12. No Mourning BEN no acknowledgment:  5 seconds! And then she moves on from losing her soulmate, half of her soul. She loses it over Chewie but nothing, no emotion not even a second over her other half. Seriously? No one ever knows Ben came back...nada. JJ set up Reylo, time and time again he has said that he crafted the story around the romance. He was left scrambling after Last Jedi and this was a last-ditch shock ending. No Reylo theme song, no across the stars

13. Last Jedi told us you don’t have to come from a powerful family to be important. THE WHOLE thing was that you could be force-sensitive and be a nobody. Nobodies can become somebody. A Hero is not born but made. The force lives in all beings, not just powerful families. It inspired me, what a great message to young guys and gals. Kylo’s line, “you come from nothing, you are nothing...you have no place in this story” finally turns out true. You have to come from something to have a part in the Star Wars story. And Rey had darkness inside her cause she was human. Because none of us are pure, we are shades of grey. But no, it’s cause darkness only runs in families. In the Last Jedi when she wants to see her family all she sees is herself and a shadow (Ben) who joins with her. Please do explain this JJ. And if this granddaughter thing was set up I would have had no problem...but they pulled it from their asses. You can have nothing but mean something. But no pander to the fanboys. In the end, a Palpatine lived and all the skywalkers ended....and we are supposed to have hope. Palpatine really did win. 

14. Rey’s biggest fear was ending up in the desert alone, we were told “the belonging she seeks is ahead not behind” and “there’s someone who could still come back”. They mentioned she felt just as alone with the resistance. Only the other half of her soul understood her. This is truly tragic and sad...I am so heartbroken for her. And don’t tell me she isn’t there to stay...the soundtrack is called “a new home”. Enjoy the rest of your days being exactly where you started Rey....but hey at least you got a droid boo. I’m convinced this is not the balance JJ envisioned in the first movie. At one point in TFA Rey looks up sees an old woman alone, scavenging in the desert. This rattles her to the core and it starts her journey of wanting a better, different life. I am so sorry Rey. Okay so you may say she has the resistance and her friends...but let’s consult the last Jedi. In the end when everyone is on the ship...Rey is surrounded by friends yet looks more alone than ever. No one but Ben, maybe Luke, Leia, and Han understood her pull to the dark.

How sad that these two hopeless souls who had never known a moment of belonging and true love, found it for all but a few seconds.

I will quote: “preventing female characters with strong, compelling narratives from experiencing love, intimacy, and affection is just as regressive as reducing them down to sexual accessories. Assumes that women must choose between a romantic interest and depth of character”

Men really can not write good female characters, can they? A woman really can’t be a badass and end up with the love of her life

15. The Skywalker’s and Redemption: How truly truly sad that Han and Leia gave their life for their son who also died at a young age. ALL the Skywalkers and Solo’s have a tragic end. This is not what George Lucas wanted. What a tragic way to end this saga...they weren't able to break the curse. AND to all those troubled kids out there that lashed out and made terrible mistakes in their youth....doesn’t matter what you do dying is the only way out. You could have exiled him, made him pay in other ways. Nothing can be done to make up for your sins but death, no amount of good means that you can come home. To the young boys that get wrapped up in terror organizations, sorry the only way you can be redeemed is death...don’t bother changing and coming back. They could have exiled him, had him start an academy with Rey for Jedi kids. He could have spent the rest of his days redeeming himself. Why tell us he was literally preyed upon, haunted, and manipulated as a child. Even in a fantasy world, a victim of mental illness and abuse can not catch a break. Ben as a child could not fall asleep due to the demon-like voices in his mind. Everyone abandoned him in his time of need. Ben never desired power like Anakin, he went over to the dark because “the voice” of his grandfather promised belonging. I am shocked that this is the message Disney sends us. Oh and yeah you can totally take on the Skywalker name for kicks...the disrespect I swear

16. The worst bit is that I am 90% sure there was another ending that was scrapped.  There was a promo shot of Jannah in a field, soft lighting, lush planet. It was exactly like P&P. Daisy Ridley said the lasts scene was known to only Her, Jannah on that panel (Driver was away). Convinced Jannah was looking at Rey and Ben starting a new life away from the desert which she and Luke hate so much. Hence the production of “A New Home” soundtrack. Hence why the “Farewell” song played behind Reylo kiss was hopeful. Why Luke’s soundtrack when he became part of the force was not triumphant. Why the death scene was sudden and cut weird and no sorrow from Rey. CAUSE THEY SCRAPPED THE ORIGINAL ENDING LAST MINUTE.  Everyone knows JJ was still editing one month before. The concept art which was supposed to be released this month has been pushed to March. Why you ask? They need to remove the pages with a happy ending. He just didn’t have the guts, pandered to everyone and yet no one. He was successful in creating a beautifully filmed action-filled movie with none of the heart of Star Wars.

And then she goes and buries Anakin’s saber on freaking TATOOINE. He HATES Sand and Luke wanted to get away from there as soon as possible. Of course, a Palpatine would torture them that way. But nostalgia is the cash cow so. JJ can only generate nostalgia, not create original stories. IF he had any creativity she would have buried it at Padme’s grave.

The fanboys say “leave the romance for the romance movies”....have you seen the original trilogy or the prequels? Star Wars has always had hope and romance entwined with it. 

SO AFTER 40 YEARS...PALPATINE WINS...HIS BLOODLINE LIVES ON

...and people thought the prequels were bad 

JJ you also said that your goal was for people to come out of the movie feeling more hopeful and happy then they went in...yet here I am. My roommate literally had to console me and buy me ice cream. I am just so numb. I am sure the casual fan will enjoy this, as seen from the rotten tomatoes ratings. I think the critics were too generous with this one, 

Star Wars is very simple at its core, Good vs Bad and Dark vs Light. The kids are expected to understand that a Palpatine being the only one who lives is hopeful? That is the conclusion of three generations of Skywalker sacrifice...

This is how the Skywalkers are remembered...In Tragedy and Curse??

[cjstalkingstarwarsagain]

hi! i’ve recently decided to rewatch all the star wars movies and take notes on them and then,,, share them with you. so if you’re even mildly interested in my star wars opinions, here you go :)

i’ll divide it into a couple categories so,,,

well start with rogue one!!

shit that made me giggle

"oh look, here’s lyra back from the dead. it’s a miracle."

everything K2 says and does. i love him and he’s perfect.

i love the continuous attempts by K2 to appear imperial and how he fails every time. not a single storm trooper or officer ever believes him when he starts running his mouth.

so sorry but bohdi getting his cable caught and trying to shake it loose is such an adorably human moment. makes me giggle every time.

i honestly thought this section would be longer, this movie made me laugh a bunch. 

stuff i don’t like or doesn’t make sense

why does jyn start believing in the rebellion? there’s no indication that she cared before they found her. there’s no real turning point that we can see. she just,,, suddenly is really into this shit. which is strange because the only reason she ever joined was because she was given a non-choice (either help or get put back in prison). i guess i can kinda see how her father dying could have changed her, but we see none of that on the ship after his death. we just get to the rebel council and all of a sudden she’s the poster girl for rebellion.

saw seems really stable at the beginning of the film, so why did he go seemingly crazy and paranoid? it’s probably explained in the novelization but that’s no excuse to just have a character go crazy with really no explanation or backstory.

that being said, a lot of the character development is pretty lacking. i don’t think i’d care about these characters nearly as much if i wasn’t already a star wars fan.

video game cut scene style general tarkin

bor gullet is supposed to make you lose your mind but bohdi was pretty much fine after like,,, a day

how does the death star,,,, move?? like i know it can but has that ever been explained? is it like little thrusters? like the ones you can see in real life to stabilize things in space? there’s nothing i can visually see. i’m not mad about it i just wanna know.

why does saw insist on staying behind? why doesn’t he come and help?? it would have been so easy to just leave but he insists on staying behind and just watching as death inches closer. i think it doesn’t make sense because we know *so little* about his character. give me more on him, make me understand.

since james earl jones is getting older, vader sounds older. was there??? nothing the audio or editing department could have done about that??? not super mad about this one just because darth vader is really cool and i’ll never really complain too much about darth vader screen time.

when the fuck did jyn become a motivational speaker??

my one gripe about pretty much every star wars movie is the sheer number of times people climb through huge shafts and jump around and shit and they’re always *fine*. no way they wouldn’t fall to their deaths in any normal situations.

can someone?? check the science of the hammerhead corvette?? because there’s no gravity or weight in space right?? theoretically all you gotta do is give that star destroyer a bump and it’s spinning out, right?? i know absolutely nothing about space physics but i gotta be right. maybe i’m wrong. i dunno. i’m dumb as rocks. hear that baby girl?? it’s the spare change rattling around in my skull. i got pennies where my brain is.

absolutely no fucking shot cassian survived a blaster hit AND that fall AND climbed out. my belief simply cannot be suspended that much.

DUDE I FORGOT THAT THE DEATH STAR CAN TRAVEL THROUGH HYPERSPACE HOW DOES WORK SOMEONE TELL ME!!!!!

why doesn’t vader just,,, force grab the plans. i know he sees them. why not just force stop the guy running away with them??

final note now that the movie is over. yes, it’s got a lot of issues. the plot is ehhh at times. the trailers don’t match up with the movie shots AT ALL (i wanna know what happened behind the scenes with that). the character development is lacking in many major ways (that has not stopped me from loving these characters though, but that’s the autism talking). but like i’ll say in the "stuff i liked" section, this is such a damn cool movie. i was once talking about it with an older friend of mine and he said seeing rogue one in theaters felt like watching the original trilogy in theaters back in the 70s and 80s and honestly that’s such a compliment. i love this movie, i really do.

just cool shit,,, you know the vibe

DEATH TROOPERS

krennic is probably one of my favorite imperial officers. for some reason he just really sells it for me, the evil and manipulation that borderlines in try hard. and (i mention it more later because you see it more in the "choke on your aspirations" scene) beyond that just the fact that he’s?? a guy. just a dude. at any given moment he could be described as just hanging out. but he’s trying so hard (for whatever reason, we don’t know his evil motivations) to be this big bad evil dude. and it’s just interesting to see someone *trying* to be imperial and *trying* to be evil, as opposed to a tarkin-type character who’s just naturally an asshole.

i love the rogue one main theme. don’t even talk to me. it’s so cool.

it’s cool to see more about the birth of the death star, seeing other people learn about it. sort of realizing the fear and terror that everyone must have been experiencing. especially after being a star wars fan for so long and being like, yeah it’s the death star it’s just a staple of this universe. it reminds me that "oh god this was a planet killer and this was the first time something like that had ever even been heard of".

there’s gorgeous visuals in this movie.

i like the "i’m wanted in 12 systems" guy cameo (did you know his name is cornelius? i googled it)

when the storm trooper asks for papers?? like fuck yeah show me what life is like under imperial rule. give me that shit.

chirrut is so badass i’ll never get over it

"i’m one with the force and the force is with me" i’m eating that shit UP! salivating over the meal in front of me. i really want more exploration of the guardians and jedi worship in general. like gimme that weird funky space religion.

seeing an at-st just walk around a town. i dunno i like that shit.

K2 saying sorry for hitting cassian. i’m so soft on this robot.

"clear of hostiles,,,, ONE HOSTILE"

jyn stepping in front of K2 to protect him after she (not ten minutes ago) made the comment ��i’m just afraid they’ll miss you and hit me”. jyn,,, your soft side is showing,,,,

i like the cool machine blaster that baze has. it’s awesome seeing different blaster styles when originally the only variation we really saw was chewie’s cross bow style blaster.

i really wanna see more of baze and cirruit. i wanna know what happened that made baze stop believing. i wanna know how they met. i wanna see them evolve and grow together.

i like that jyn argues that 16 is too young to be a solider (she’s 21 in the movie). i like that she’s mad that she’s young and has been put in a position to protect herself and then later save the galaxy. (for context: luke and leia were 19 in a new hope. anakin is 19 in attack of the clones, ~22 when he became darth vader, and rey is 19 in force awakens. stop putting the fate of the galaxy in the hands of people who are *barely* adults)

the testing of the death star is awesome. love seeing wicked cool space weapons. when it blocks out the sun? ominous as hell fuck yeah.

it’s interesting that baze says cassian doesn’t look like a killer, that "he has the face of a friend", when one of the first things we saw him do was kill a man. i think about that a lot. does that say more about baze’s ability to read people or does it say more about who cassian is deep down, beyond what he’s done to serve the rebellion?

cassian’s relationship with death and killing is very interesting. you could argue that cassian is just as brainwashed and deep in the rebellion as anyone imperial. i really hope it’s something that gets explored in his stand alone show. he mentions he’s lost everything and has been a rebel since he was 6. gimme cassian andor backstory.

"careful not to choke on your aspirations director" is probably some of the most dramatic-anakin-skywalker shit i’ve ever seen vader do

i like seeing rebel infighting. so often it seems there’s always general consensus about what the rebellion wants, but it’s good to see that they don’t always agree on how to rebel.

i love the consistent "found family" rebel alliance shit in these movies. it makes my dick so hard.

ARTOO AND THREEPIO CAMEO FUCK ME UP THOSE ARE MY BOYS

okay i totally get that the empire is evil, i really do, but rogue one (and lots of moments in the sequels) really reminds me how fucking cool some of their shit is. like death troopers? imperial droids like K2? the base on scarif? vader’s castle on mustafar and his bacta tank?? fuck me UP.

i loved hearing the troopers doing their dumb small talk about the T-15s on the beach.

i think ben mendelssohn is perfect for the role of krennic, no notes there. he’s just like?? a guy and he’s doing everything he can to fit into this evil role and he just wants to be like this big bad imperial boy on campus. i don’t know. i don’t have the words right now to express how fuckin awesome he is. i’ll write an essay about it later.

THE AT-AT COMING OUT OF THE MIST?? CHRIST ON A BIKE. LAY ME TO REST. LOVE IT.

fucking love me some female fighter pilots. the women of star wars are so badass. doing justice to my return of the jedi ladies.

i think a whole lot about jyn giving K2 a blaster. the way he takes it and looks at it and holds it so gently. i think that’s the first time a human has trusted him with a blaster since his reprogramming. he seems so appreciative of that trust.

i love seeing the faces of baze and the other rebels when a few of the x-wings show up and take down an at-at. i’m so very soft for the relationship between these rebels. not to be cliche, but the *hope* that they have. it’s so moving. this movie is just so full of that quintessential rebel feeling.

hey so i’m super emotional about the death of K2 okay? because in the novelizations you learn that in the last second k2 had before a full shut down, he ran a simulation where cassian lived and even though he knew it was impossible, it made him happy. FURTHERMORE K2 is very well known and his name is often listed along side jyn’s in terms of talking about the history of the rebellion.

chirrut and baze’s deaths are so important to me. we know they’re best friends, and even though we don’t know how long they’ve been together, they love each other so deeply. chirrut being the path for baze to return to the force? touching. i so wish these dumb force husbands could have had more screen time. baze calling chirrut back?? chirrut telling him to find him in the force?? baze looking to see the man he loves one more time before he dies??reminds me of the silken quote about dying in your best friends arms because it’s all you know. anywho,,, if star wars canon has any mercy then these two lovers are force ghosts together rn. don’t care how you feel or whether you "ship" them or not. love comes in so many forms and they encompass all that love.

terribly sorry but i think about those two star destroyers colliding with the rogue one main theme playing over it every day. it’s,,,,, so,,,, ( ´∀｀)

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again BEN MENDELSSOHN??? UH YEAH

krennic watching his weapon (his beautiful, successful weapon) power up and kill him,,, the poetic justice of it all,,,,

any time anyone says "may the force be with you" i dunno maybe it’s my religious trauma but i’m head over heels for that good shit

the star destroyer coming out of hyper space as the rebels are escaping and some of the ships hit the destroyer?? one of my favorite things in the new star wars movies is directors and writers saying "oh this can totally happen" and they DO IT

jyn mentioning earlier in the film that she isn’t used to people sticking around when shit hits the fan and then dying in the arms of cassian?? because he stayed?? and for the first time she has someone??

in that same vein: cassian also says earlier in the film that he lost everything too. his connection with jyn is also important to him, just as important as it is to jyn. they need each other. i can’t remember who on this hellsite said it, but someone mentioned that they hope the stand alone cassian stuff coming out doesn’t make him this swindling playboy who fucks around a bunch. i think having him as more of like?? a mandolorian type character would be really cool. like he’s a rebel assassin: make him one. make him independent and badass and cool and DONT give him a bunch of romantic or sexual interests because then that downplays the clear love he had developing for jyn. again LOVE COMES IN FORMS BEYOND BASIC SHIPS. and there’s a lot of love in star wars.

i’ve said it a million times but vader is so cool and over and over again this movie reminded me that he’s actually so scary. i saw star wars for the first time when i was 6 and i can’t remember my initial reaction to him, but i’ve definitely (like with the death star) been desensitized to the fact that if i was in star wars, darth vader would scare the shit out of me. he’s *scary* and that’s cool. i liked seeing vader effortlessly go fucking mad on these rebels. then you understand why they were so scared in that first scene of a new hope.

no i absolutely will not get over the vader scene. i won’t. his saber turning on. his force abilities. his effortless lightsaber work. the choral music over the scene with the hectic orchestra. don’t touch me i’m emotional.

i loved seeing leia. it touches me so deeply every time.

fuck i love this movie despite all its faults.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you!! i hope you enjoyed. please remember that this is totally a safe space for all star wars opinions and you can feel free to disagree with me! i’d love to hear what some of you thought :))

[creativenicocorner]

Slides a ⭐ for a star person :p

Holy shit it took over a year and I barely remember which fanfic ask this is about...I think it's like a director's cut one? REGARDLESS! I do remember the star was to like talk about whatever - and while looking for a WIP I came across an attempt to answer this WITHIN a wip? Past Nico what were you thinking?!

I do know this was written sometime before Ch15 of Terpsichore came out, because there were a few references? But I rephrased the wording a bit.

Forgive me for using this as an excuse to just babble on about how I choose the music titles for chapter sections in Terpsichore, but also, I'm not entirely sorry haha Without further Ado! Here’s hoping this rambling makes sense haha!!

⭐ AN ANSWER!（♥￫ｏ￩♥）

So it’s taken me a long time to figure out how I wanted to answer this. For a while I was going to ramble about M*A*S*H how it was a rather formative show for me growing up, especially in its anti-war message as well as how it feels like a comedy played in a minor key. There was even going to be a link to a video essay on the show, and then I was going to hint at a want to write a series following the changelings in a pre-show context in the sort of vibe M*A*S*H gave.

But it got lost, and weighty…and…idk, I can’t seem to stick to a lot of things these days? I don’t know.

But there’s always been in me the want to attempt to explain why I choose the music pieces I choose to title the sections in each chapter. Cause despite the little message at the bottom of the first chapter and the last chapter talking about motifs leitmotifs…writing prose is nothing like composing music.

And not only that I’m sure less than half of the people reading the fic will listen along with the playlist. Which is 100000% fine! I anticipate it even!

Because at best, those sectional pieces serve less as soundtrack more like a silent movie’s musical medley.

Because it’s the written word, and I’m not Andrew Hussie ldgj though the day I find out how to put a little ‘play button’ to listen to music during a fic, I might do that. But at this point in time Hell No haha.

Despite this, there is a process behind my music selections.

There is a difference between what I consider ‘corpse de ballet’/ ‘ensemble’ sections, and ‘leads’ / ‘duet’ sections.

Or what my poor readers go through as ‘a shit ton of prospective shifts’ and two prospectives at best, at the same time. I don’t know why I’m such a fan of bouncing between perspectives so much that you probably feel seasick. I always consider it a miracle anyone understands what the heck is going on dfjglk The answer is probably because I like third person omniscient writing, and am a sucker for situational/character irony. But I’m also a grammar school drop out haha and don’t actually know the rules of writing by heart? I’m just a fool with a bunch of vibes and a dictionary doing their best lol.

[ stressed coffee sip ] Fake it til you make it baby

But yeah! Enough borderline weird self deprecating! Let’s talk music!!

So! Usually when writing a section I try and think about who are the central characters in the section, and or what is the theme/emotion I’m trying to call on. Is there a motif, or a reference I can play on musically? An idea or concept I can echo or even enhance? Will it be a specific genera of music tied to a character because that character embodies and or is known for a specific genera (example: Nomura and Opera- more on that at during ACTII )

Once I answer those questions, I’m able to narrow down my music choices. Which, again, acts more like a book of suggested musical medley orchestras and musicians would purchase during the silent movie era as like a cheat sheet of what they could play during a specific scene.

So…for instance, for a character like Barbara Lake I wouldn’t use video game music -or maybe I could…but it would only be in terms of perhaps referencing her son.- who I would have a higher chance at choosing to select a video game music piece for (hang on to your butts ACT II Zelda soundtrack).

In the fic I’ve built the idea that in order to explain Barbara’s ability to paint, that she not only took classes but was part of the production team in putting on a play, mainly in set design painting props. Which opens me to a world of musical options when it comes to Barbara’s character. Especially when certain musicals hold songs that can be really fitting to her character later on. An example of this can be seen in ch3 “Aquarius”, and ch14 “Julia”.

Ch3 is Barbara’s big planned picnic date. The first date she and Walter go on after she ingested the binding spell. The two of them coming together, but also the magic of which awakening something magical inside.

And Ch14 in which the binding spell is broken, but also whatever was holding Barbara’s potential to reaching towards that magical something inside her is also broken. And in a sort of my own attempt at written diegesis between the narrative and the song selections in the sections, the lyrics to Aquarius is written out as Barbara depends into the water. In which it is no longer the dawning of Aquarius, Aquarius is starting to take center stage. Their cue is played.

That would be my example on a very character driven musical choice.

Not only that, but it is at Ch3 where Walter is influenced more and more to Barbara’s appreciation to musicals, so much so that it begins to influence his own array of music pieces. His dreams no longer dialogue from movies he fell asleep to, but sometimes full on reproductions of staged musicals and plays. An example of this can be seen in Ch11 On the Right Track from Pippin the Musical - which oof I could go into a full dissertation on in regards to changelings/Pippin and The Pale Lady/Leading Player.

Not only that, but due to influence from Barbara’s love we get the moment of Walter’s ‘I want’ section piece in the form of Ch9 “Corner of the Sky” (aka Pippin’s I want song as well). The moment before this happened there was the interaction with Angor AND Otto AND the repercussions of Angor attacking the school. It is clear to these characters that Strickler is not giving his all in killing Jim, and perhaps never tried to give his all. Something that Otto proclaims as Strickler making excuses, and Strickler insists is tact.

Then there is the situational character driven choice.

I’m going to continue to use Barbara as an example here, and say that THIS can be seen in Ch2 “No. 9 – Finale Andante” and ch12 “Le Lac Des Cygnes Introduction: Moderato Assai”

Both of these music pieces come from Swan Lake. The reasoning behind the choice is probably asinine in thought process (Barbara Lake, Swan Lake), but also thought out in the sense of the following:

In Season3 of Trollhunters Morgana, in order to attempt to reacquire her shadow staff from Strickler (“The Exorcism of Clair Nuñez), transforms herself to take Barbara Lake’s physical form.

IN THE BALLET SWAN LAKE The wizard Von Rothbart, in order to obtain what they want, transforms (granted someone else) Odile to look like the hero Odette in order to trick the prince into proclaiming this imposter Odile as their one true love. In which Odile is the mirror to Odette, and while looking similar (in fact typically the ballerina who performs as Oddette would also perform as Odile) are opposites in spirit.

And, at least in Terpsichore, what near primordial eldritch force can rival that of the Eldritch Queen that we know from cannon will inevitably impersonate Barbara Lake?

But wait, there’s more.

In chapter 2 the piece used in section 2 is the end of ACTI from Swan Lake. The music hints not only the arrival of Odette, but also her inevitable tragedy. What is written in this section, briefly at that cause we watched how the scene plays out in the show, you don’t need me writing that back at you, but I digress- What is WRITTEN in this section is Barbara sipping the enchanted tea that binds herself to Waltolomew Strickler. Something that you, the viewer and fan will know ends in tragedy, as do I the writer and also fan knows will end in tragedy. The only people out of the loop here are the poor poor characters.

And then the revolving door of bad situations that is ch12 happens, and we return to Swan Lake with “Le Lac Des Cygnes Introduction” In which Barbara is introduced to Jim Lake’s Trollhunting world, finally. But wait! There’s EVEN more.

Because not only is Barbara introduced to Jim’s Trollhunting world, Barbara begins to allow herself an introduction to that weird magical more that’s inside her via dream. And YOU/WE the reader/writer/audience, are introduced to the strange figure Giselle is talking to on the beach of Lake Superior…who…well, you’ve probably already have an idea as to who that figure is ;)c

There are also moments when I just select a song piece because I think it fits Thematially well - ch11’s “Powerhouse” section. Aka the music that plays in Looney Tunes whenever an assembly line montage occurs - to which in that section Jim Draal and Walter are putting together the booby-traps to thwart Angor Rot (as well as try to reassemble some sort of emotional connection between them). Or it could be a reference to a meme I really enjoyed, example Ch12’s “Roundabout” aka the music piece known vernacularly as “The Jojo Meme” but also like…meme aside it’s really good and fits and just lkfgjkgsdj I have a lot of feels about Roundabout and I won’t apologize for it haha

And yet, something I pride myself in, is that you don’t need to know all of this to enjoy the story. It isn’t necessary to listen to the Swan Lake pieces or even the Musicals, or even the Jojo Meme. Because, if I did my job right, those echoes ought to be in the writing. The pieces to the section have always been optional. Just little markings in a booklet to be given to you the reader/composer as a suggestion and you can choose to play those pieces along to the silent film, or boot up a ragtime. And that’s the power you have. And that’s equally as wonderful!

[the-desolated-quill]

The Mandalorian Represents Everything I Hate About Disney - Quill’s Scribbles

This post contains spoilers for the first two episodes, if you care about that sort of thing.

Yes, after four months of wallowing in a depressive funk, your lord and saviour the Desolated Quill has returned to (hopefully) start posting semi-regularly again. And what better way to mark my return than by kicking my favourite dead horse Disney.

So what have you been doing since this coronavirus epidemic started? I for one have been spending most of the time trying and failing to persuade my mother not to get a Disney+ subscription. The rise of streaming TV services represent the very height of greed and stupidity within the film and television industry. See it’s not enough for these studios to share their profits with the likes of Netflix and Amazon. Rampant capitalism dictates that they must have every conceivable penny imaginable, hence why we’re seeing the slow gating off of content and the emergence of new streaming platforms like Disney+, Starzplay, DC Universe, HBO Max, Apple TV and YouTube. Yes, even Youtube has a subscription service now. It’s like that episode of Oprah Winfrey. You get a streaming service, you get a streaming service, you get a streaming service, EVERYBODY gets a streaming service! Except the problem is that the reason why Netflix and Amazon took off was because it was convenient to get all of our entertainment from one location. Now with content spread out across multiple platforms, customers are having to pick and choose who to subscribe to as only the very rich can afford to subscribe to everyone. It’s ostensibly a televisual arms race coupled with classism. Make no mistake, the motivation behind the rise of streaming services is not motivated by customer satisfaction nor artistic merit, but rather corporate greed. And Disney is by far the worst offender. There is literally not a single reason why they couldn’t have kept their stuff on Netflix. The only reason Disney+ exists is so that they can get their grubby mitts on even more money than they already have (which is quite a lot).

So my mum got a Disney+ subscription because she never fucking listens to a single word I say and we ended up sitting down to watch the first two episodes of The Mandalorian. The new Star Wars TV spinoff created by Iron Man director Jon Favreau set in-between Return of The Jedi and The Force Awakens.

As much as I have complaints about the way Disney have handled the Star Wars license, I confess I was curious and dare I say even excited about The Mandalorian when it was first announced. I’ve gone on record to say that I didn’t want nor care about a sequel trilogy because, as far as I was concerned, Return Of The Jedi was a perfect ending to the Skywalker saga and we didn’t need to see what happened next. That’s like wondering what happens after Cinderella married Prince Charming. We don’t need to see it. They lived happily ever after. The end. The spinoffs, on the other hand, including the Anthology films and The Mandalorian, I was much more excited for because it was an opportunity to tell different kinds of stories and explore areas of the Star Wars universe we wouldn’t normally get to see in the main films. If the Star Wars franchise has to be expanded upon, I’d rather it was like this. Lets move away from the Skywalkers and the Jedi and concentrate on other stuff. So a space western set after the original trilogy depicting a lone bounty hunter trying to make ends meet after the fall of the Empire was very appealing to me.

Sadly that’s not what I got.

I’ll just be blunt. I saw the first two episodes of The Mandalorian and I didn’t like it very much. It’s not bad as such. It’s competently made. I’ve seen some behind the scenes videos and there’s clearly a lot of talented people working hard on this show. That being said, the story of The Mandalorian is... well... kind of rubbish.

So lets talk about it, shall we?

As far as I’m concerned there are three reasons why The Mandalorian doesn’t work. The first is the complete lack of tension. It’s a problem that’s plagued Star Wars since The Phantom Menace. Despite all the challenges and obstacles that are thrown at the characters, it never seems to affect them or even pose much of a threat. We saw that with Anakin Skywalker in the prequels and Rey in the sequels, and it’s the same here. The Mandalorian is this amazing dude who’s skilled and awesome and the bestest fighter ever. He can take out all these bad guys single-handedly and can do all these cool things. Except none of that is interesting. It’s boring. People like to defend Rey saying she’s no worse than Luke Skywalker, but that’s not true because, unlike Rey, Luke isn’t perfect. He struggles, he makes mistakes, and he grows and evolves over time. Rey is just this perfect woman who can do no wrong and who can pull any random superpower out of her arse for the sake of plot convenience. It’s just bad writing. While The Mandalorian never gets quite as bad as that, there does seem to be this obsession with making this awesome, cool dude, but that ends up coming at the cost of any tension or threat the story could have. 

In the first episode, we see his bounty explore his ship. This could have been an opportunity to create some tension. Maybe he could try and sabotage the ship. Or try to escape. Complicate matters for the Mandalorian. But no. The Mandalorian knew what the guy was doing and instantly recaptures him. Same goes for a scene later on when the Mandalorian and some killer robot has to fight a whole army of mercenaries. How are they going to get out of this? Very easily it turns out. Not only do they beat them within a couple of minutes, the mercenaries are also clearly the worst shots ever. The robot is like seven foot tall and moving at the speed of frozen treacle, and yet they don’t manage to land a single hit on the guy. Where’s the suspense? Where’s the danger? By the end of the first episode, I was just bored senseless.

Which leads me to my second biggest problem. The total lack of originality. Is it really too much to ask for someone to actually come up with their own fucking ideas? Literally everything in The Mandalorian is basically nicked wholesale from other, better Star Wars films. The first two planets we visit in episode one are basically variations on Tatooine with the same architecture and everything. There’s even that eye thing that pops out of the door like in Jabba’s Palalce in Return Of The Jedi.  Then, to add insult to injury, we then end up on the actual Tatooine (or at least what I assume is the actual Tatooine. I mean there are Jawas). The Mandalorian is like this Frankenstein assembly of Star Wars memorabilia. Everything has been taken from other films when it makes no sense to do so. The Mandalorian freezes his bounties in carbonite, except that was a process specific to Cloud City. Darth Vader improvised a trap using what was at hand to try and catch Luke. He wasn’t even sure if Luke would survive the freezing process, hence why they tested it on Han Solo first. The only reason it’s here in The Mandalorian is for fanwank purposes. Same goes for the stormtroopers. Why the fuck are there stormtroopers?! Remember where we are in the Star Wars story. The Empire has fallen and the New Republic is taking over. Imperialists are going to be pretty unpopular, wouldn’t you say? So why the fuck would you have stormtroopers wandering around in full armour out in the open? It makes zero sense. Even the killer robot is copied whole sale from IG-88 from Empire Strikes Back. Why don’t you come up with your own killer robot design?

Then there’s this little shit:

Yeah, I kind of knew this was coming because I’ve seen the GIFs circulating on Tumblr beforehand, which kind of ruined the ending of the first episode somewhat. But even if I didn’t know this was coming, the ‘twist’ still wouldn’t work because it’s not really a twist if you think about it. What actually happens? The Mandalorian finds the Child and it’s an eighty year old gremlin. Okay. So what? The only reason it’s ‘shocking’ is because it vaguely looks like Yoda. Other than that, who gives a shit? It doesn’t really mean anything.

Which leads me to my third biggest problem. Why should I give a shit about anything that’s going on? What are the stakes? There aren’t any. We don’t know anything about the Mandalorian and we have no reason to care about him or his job. We don’t know anything about the Child or why he’s so important. The only reason people are interested is because it reminds them of the other films. As a story in and of itself, there’s simply nothing there. I don’t know who any of these people are, what they want, why they want it and what will happen if they fail. So why should I give a shit? And nowhere is this more apparent than in the second episode. The Jawas agree to give the Mandalorian’s ship parts back if he retrieves an egg from some monster. Why do they want the egg? I don’t know. I literally have no idea. They never say. And yet that’s what the entire episode revolves around. This isn’t a story. It’s just random stuff happening. And what’s more it has nothing to do with the overall plot. You can literally cut out the entirety of episode two and it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference. Same is true of that annoying fuckface that keeps insisting ‘he has spoken’ (I swear by the end I wanted to kick that old git in the face, he irritated me so much). We waste the second half of the first episode watching the Mandalorian piss about with some toad/horse thing only to then make his way back to the ship on foot in episode two. So what was the fucking point of that then? Why is anything fucking happening?

And this is what perfectly sums up the problems with Star Wars under Disney’s regime. If anything The Mandalorian acts as a microcosm for everything that’s wrong with the current movies and indeed Disney as a company. These movies aren’t movies. They’re products designed to pander to a gullible fanbase’s nostalgia. The entire sequel trilogy was basically the original trilogy repackaged and resold with nothing unique or original to offer. And the reason The Rise Of Skywalker felt so unsatisfying to everyone watching was because the story was never planned. They pivoted it to whatever the focus groups enjoyed about the previous film. That’s why the whole trilogy felt so uneven and directionless. And it’s not just Star Wars. Obviously there’s the live action remakes of the Renaissance movies, now with added nods and winks to meta commentary without actually addressing actual complaints people may have had. This also extends to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. How many of these fucking movies have we had where the bad guy tries to take over the world with an Infinity Stone? Thor: The Dark World and Guardians Of The Galaxy are pretty much the exact same movie. Spider-Man: Far From Home, a film co-produced with Sony, is ostensibly a rehash of Iron Man 3, which in turn had recycled a lot of its story from Pixar’s The Incredibles, another Disney product. Even Black Panther, a movie I absolutely adore, borrows its basic plot structure from Thor: Ragnarok. Disney are so unoriginal and so lazy that they have effectively started cannibalising themselves. The Mandalorian is just the latest example of this. At least with Black Panther you had a talented filmmaker like Ryan Coogler who was able to take these borrowed elements and spin it into something more meaningful and with more emotional impact. At least there was some actual passion put into that film.

People are no doubt going to have a go at me saying I’m being too harsh and that I haven’t given The Mandalorian a fair chance. Well I’m sorry, but I’ve given it two episodes and I’m bored out of my mind. It’s a cynically produced, uninspired load of waffle. I’m not going to waste my time sitting through more episodes in the hopes that it might get good later on. That’s not how good storytelling is supposed to work and it sickens me to think that this has pretty much become the new normal for this industry.

[themattress]

First of all, I still have to maintain that Doug is the more reasonable of the Walker Bros. when it comes to Star Wars, he makes some solid points here, and does a great job at seeing the other side (the general movie-going public) and accurately verbalizing why they enjoyed the film even if he as a critic did not, while treating it as a valid perspective. Good on you, Doug.

With that said....

“Everything comes out of nowhere” - Obviously. J.J Abrams set things up in TFA, and Rian Johnson didn’t use them in TLJ. With Abrams back, it’s only natural these things will pop up with sadly less set-up than they should have had. It sucks, but you really ought to note why it happened that way or else you’re being disingenuous.

“The movie never takes a breath and lets characters react” - Wait, what about that scene after Chewie’s supposed death? Or with Poe and Zorii on the rooftop? Or when Rey talks to Finn about what she’s learned and how angry she feels about Palpatine killing her parents? Or the scene with Kylo Ren and the memory of his father? Or Poe at Leia’s bedside and talking with Lando? Aren’t those all pretty subdued moments where characters just react and take in what’s been happening? Did you miss those scenes?

“It’s like a video game, jumping from exposition to action and so on” - Oh, and other movies in the series such as A New Hope, Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens weren’t? Seriously, go rewatch just the whole sequence inside the Death Star in A New Hope, it literally plays like a mission-by-mission video game! 

“It’s not like The Last Jedi left much to go on and threw out set-up from The Force Awakens” - NOW you acknowledge this point somewhat, but you still don’t go far enough. There was literally NO set-up left behind by TLJ beyond what we opened the whole series with: Rebels vs. Empire and Light Side of the Force vs. Dark Side of the Force. Everything else seemed wrapped up to the point where TLJ felt like a potential finale to the saga, especially with its last scene. TROS was in a much tougher position than ROTS or ROTJ because of that lack of set-up, it’s why Colin Trevorrow couldn’t produce anything satisfactory (in spite of what some may have you believe.)  As John Boyega put it, it was a “mess” Abrams had to “fix”. And I’m personally glad for it ‘cause Trevorrow never should’ve been on Ep. IX to start with!

“The movie should have just focused on Rey and Kylo Ren” - Here’s the problem with that, quite literally the problem Lucasfilm was facing: Kylo Ren cannot be the trilogy’s Final Boss. He was already thrashed by Rey at the end of TFA and then humiliated by Luke at the end of TLJ. He served as Final Boss for both those films and lost both times, and by necessity he had to lose at the end of Ep. IX as well. How pathetic would that look? The Big Bad of the Sequel Trilogy gets his ass handed to him every goddamn time! I love Kylo Ren as a character and Adam Driver as an actor, but he couldn’t carry Ep. IX to its conclusion. Despite what you and others say, the fact of the matter is that Palpatine DID belong here. From both an in-universe perspective and a meta perspective, it was an inevitability.

Otherwise, solid video for Disneycember as usual. Keep it up.

[particlemilk-unlockable-gender]

I still literally can’t believe that anyone liked TLJ. I fully believed that I had accidentally selected some overly long intentionally bad cut that was made as a joke. Something like one of those animated in-universe blooper rolls. It was very genuinely the worst movie, over all, that I’ve ever sat through, and I haven’t watched TRoS because I’m not willing to put myself through any more of that series. Kylo Ren and the Yoda scene were the only star wars-y moments in the movie, and they were great! but the rest of the movie was so Fucking bad.

With the amount of Exceptional Star Wars content around, with games like KotOR, Republic Commando, and Rogue Squadron, and Force Unleashed having Incredible Star Wars story lines that through decades have maintained through all sorts of different moods and perspectives and moments in time a DEFINITE feeling of “Star Wars”, without being direct products of george lucas himself, it is Astounding to me how Completely TLJ and all 3 of the Sequels and Solo fall flat in conveying any amount at all of that feeling.

Also, the Prequels inspired nearly as much merch and as many video games and fan fervor as the originals. KotOR and KotOR 2, which are universally accepted as exceptional star wars games, OBVIOUSLY take their flavor heavily from the prequels. Why is that? Because the Prequels are actually incredible movies that exceed the original trilogy just as often as they fall behind it.

Anyway here is the CORRECT order of best to worst starwars films

[ Movies that make sense for someone to watch on purpose]

1: Revenge of the Sith, Rogue One, and Empire Strikes Back

2: Return of the Jedi

3: A Phantom Menace

4: A New Hope

5: Attack of the Clones

6: The Clone Wars

7: Watching someone play Star Wars: Battlefront 2 on Xbox

[ Movies that were written so carelessly and selfishly and derivative-ly that it actually hurts me ]

8: The Force Awakens

9: Solo

10: TLJ

I’m abstaining from rating TRoS but I haven’t seen anything at all good about it, at all.

[benthelastskywalker]

Romance in The Sequel Trilogy (And Why It Was Always Going to be Reylo)

(Warning: Long post ahead!)

Despite the claims that have popped up in recent years that “romance doesn’t belong in Star Wars,” romance has always been a big part of the saga. Han and Leia’s romance was a big part of the original trilogy and Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side in the prequels came from his love for Padme. In Rogue One, it was Lyra’s love for her husband and her desire to keep him out of the Empires hands that forced her to act as she did and ultimately ended in her death. Jyn and Cassian clearly develop feelings for each other across the course of the film, even if those feelings are never spoken aloud. And in Solo, it is Han’s love for Qi’Ra and his desire to get back to her that drives the plot. So, of course a romance in the sequel trilogy is expected.

But expected from where? In the previous two trilogies, the lead romance comes from inside the main trio of characters; the lone woman in the group falls for one of the two men. So, it is hardly surprising that after the release of The Force Awakens a good number of fans expected Rey and Finn to end up in a romantic relationship and why some would have even been happy to see Rey end up with Poe. But with Kylo Ren/Ben Solo? That seemed to be out of the question and those of us who shipped it were called “delusional.” In their minds, saying Rey would fall for Kylo/Ben would be like saying Leia would have fallen for Vader (if he hadn’t turned out to be her father) or Padme would have fallen for Darth Maul.

Yet, all the three movies in the sequel trilogy show us exactly why a romantic relationship between Rey and the two men of the trio would not work and why exactly she does fall for Ben Solo.

Let’s start with Finn. As others have already pointed out, Finn constantly treats Rey like she needs his protection. That it is his sworn duty to keep her safe. We see this very early one right after they first meet and he keeps grabbing her hand and Rey keeps protesting. He then spends a majority of the movie, trying to run from the First Order and it isn’t until Rey gets taken captive that he joins forces with the Resistance, BUT (and this is made pretty clear in The Last Jedi) that he only does so to rescue Rey and not because he truly wants to join their cause. 

And speaking of TLJ, he spends 90% of that movie doing what he does simply to keep Rey safe and not because he wants to join or help the Resistance. It’s not until the end of the movie that he truly commits. Yet even after that, he spends a good portion of The Rise of Skywalker screaming her name and even going to rush after her during her last lightsaber duel with Kylo Ren.

Now, it’s not a bad thing to want to protect someone you care about (in fact it is expected), but Finn seems to view Rey as a damsel in distress, someone who cannot defend or protect herself and who needs him to protect her. And that is what many of us find off putting.

Contrast that with Kylo/Ben who knows exactly how powerful Rey is and is in awe of it. The way he looks at her when she uses the Force to grab the legacy lightsaber in TFA. Kylo doesn’t view her as a damsel in distress and never does he treat her as one. He treats her as his equal in the Force (which is fitting since they turn out to be a Dyad), someone who can defend and protect herself. The only times that he comes to Rey’s protection is when she truly needs it. When Snoke want him to kill her and then on Exegol when she is facing off against Palpatine and is terrified.The times Rey truly needed someone there, Kylo/Ben was there for her.

Now, there is another issue I’ve only recently came to have with the idea of a romance between Finn and Rey and that is an issue of honesty. The first time Finn and Rey meet, he flat out lies to her and tells her that he is a part of the Resistance. It is a lie that he maintains until it becomes clear that Rey wants him to stand and fight after the First Order instead of running away. He only comes clean because he realizes that it is the only way to keep her safe, to convince her to go with him. Yes, Rey doesn’t hold the lie against him and readily accepts the truth and him for who he is, but it doesn’t change the fact that Finn was dishonest and would have kept up lying for who knows how long if circumstances hadn’t forced him to reveal the truth.

Kylo/Ben on the other hand, never lied to Rey. He was always open and honest with her, even when he knew the truth isn’t what she wanted to hear. And it would have been so easy for him to lie and tell her what she wanted to hear. Remember when she asked him why he hated his father? He could have so easily lied in that moment. He could have made up some story about how awful a person Han was and to get Rey to sympathize with him. But he doesn’t. He honestly tells her that he didn’t hate Han. Yes, he changes the subject around to her own parents when she wants to know why he killed Han if he didn’t hate him, but avoiding a topic one would rather not discuss is not the same as lying.

I can already hear antis screaming, “But he lied to her about her parentage in TLJ!” So let’s get this out of the way. When Rian Johnson wrote that scene in TLJ, Kylo was being honest with her because that was what he (Rian) intended to be the truth, that her parents really where nobodies. It’s not his fault JJ came back and retconned it. I actually posted about this before. So, because of this, I’m choosing to view it as he was telling her the truth about her parents in TLJ and that is the hill I will die on.

Okay, so what about Poe? Rey and Poe don’t even meet until the end of the second movie of the trilogy (yes, I know they meet at the end of the TFA novelization, but since most people don’t read the novels, I’m going with them not meeting until the end of TLJ). By the end of the second movie of the original trilogy, Han and Leia have already kissed (twice!) and Leia has told Han she loved him. By the end of the second movie of the prequel trilogy, Anakin and Padme are married. If Poe and Rey were ever intended to be canon, The Rise of Skywalker would have had to do a lot to build up the romance between them, but it did nothing of the kind. The first scene we get of the two of them together has them yelling at each other. After that, they seem to just tolerate each other, they certainly never act like two characters falling in love.

But Reylo has been building up since TFA. Even before the characters ever meet. After Rey’s force vision and she’s talking to Maz and Maz says “The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead.” Rey (incorrectly) assumes Maz is talking about Luke. Now here’s where it gets interesting. I recently stubbled across a video where the audio following that moment is enhanced. After Maz says “take the saber”, you  can here Rey’s voice whispering the words “It’s Ben,” showing that Ben is the belonging Rey seeks. And this before she ever lays eyes on him. 

JJ has always called Kylo “half of the protagonist with Rey.” Protagnist. Not antagonist. And certainly not “villain.” Neither Adam Driver nor JJ Abrams have ever called Kylo/Ben the villain of the trilogy. Instead he’s the leading man. The character we’re all meant to route for and hope to see redeemed. He was always going to be the one Rey fell for.

[d3sertdream3r]

How do you feel about Boba Fett coming back? Personally I’m really upset that the whiny fanboys are getting exactly what they want AGAIN 😤 Why do they only listen to the most toxic people?? Mandalorian was a great show, now idk if I’m going to watch season 2. I don’t want more meaningless nostalgia in Star Wars 😔

Ohhh boy. Buckle up folks; this is going to be a long one!

Little disclaimer before I begin; I don’t have any inside knowledge of Lucasfilm or Disney. I’ve just been collecting knowledge over the years from many different interviews, autobiographies, behind the scenes content, etc that inform my opinions. I’m merely a random citizen with binoculars trying to see what is going on over there, because it’s definitely been one train wreck after another these days.

Now let’s kick it!

I was conflicted about the Boba Fett news. The prequels were coming out when I was a kid, and I actually saw those movies before the originals; the prequels ARE my originals. They were Star Wars to me. When people mentioned SW, the first people that came to my head were Anakin, Obi Wan, and Padme; not Luke, Han, and Leia. I already knew who Vader was when I watched the originals because of this, and I also knew who Boba Fett was. He was Jango Fett’s son and a fellow clone of the troopers.

When I watched the originals, I felt like his death was stupid. Not because I thought his armor was cool, but because like I said; I knew who he was. So hearing that the official canon is bringing him back made me happy for that poor boy that watched his father get decapitated to have his chance at a more fulfilling ending. However, like you, I was annoyed. Because the fanboys have been getting everything they want lately even though they are never satisfied with it, and the women of the fandom have been largely ignored.

But I’ve been watching Gallery, the documentary about how The Mandalorian was made. Keep in mind it was being made around the same time as Tros, yet the themes and messages are completely the opposite. Dave Filoni gives a speech in the second episode of Gallery that covers the mythic storytelling of SW from The Phantom Menace to Return of the Jedi. It’s very powerful and is the essence of everything most of the female fans have been saying from Day 1.

This got me thinking about the behavior of certain LF employees on social media towards Reylos and female fans in general, while others have been very supportive and blatant that they didn’t like Tros. Actors in Tros that spoke of redemption and a unique ending for the movie that later changed to confused faces when asked how they felt about the film. Chaotic productions of films and shows that always result in “creative differences.” Empty nostalgia in Tros vs deeply thought out lore and heartfelt themes in the video games, tv shows, comics, novels, and TLJ. I feel like there is a civil war going on at Lucasfilm.

Some of them want nostalgia, fan service, Luke Skywalker as the untouchable God of Star Wars, evildoers to be punished without remorse, Rey to be the new vessel of God Luke that stays pure and stands alone, etc. The fanbros certainly back those people and I think Bob Iger/Disney does too. That’s why Tros happened; JJ said he was on the phone with Bob every day during production. And Bob told George Lucas that pleasing the fans was more important than anything else when The Force Awakens was being made, which GL did NOT agree with at all. He even admitted that GL said he felt betrayed by the vision Disney had for LF.

Dave Filoni and Kathleen Kennedy are massive GL fans and close friends of his. They worked with him a lot before Disney bought Lucasfilm, and they know how he likes his Star Wars and what it all means to him. I’m not KK’s biggest fan, but I don’t blame her for Tros; she has shown she ain’t afraid to fire people if they try to create something in SW that doesn’t match up with the themes of it, as seen with how she dumped Colin Trevarrow’s terrible script. She was personally responsible for both Adam Driver playing Kylo/Ben, and Rian Johnson directing TLJ. She tried to get Rian back for Tros but he was busy with Knives Out. She wanted to push back the release date so there was time to make sure the ending was fulfilling. She has said many times she wanted this era of SW to be for the younger generations and new fans, not retreading old ground and pleasing those who were in theaters for the originals. As soon as JJ was put in charge of the film, he was spending his time talking to Bob Iger instead of her. He also didn’t work with the Story Group at all, which shows why it creates so much dissonance with all the other stories in SW.

Meanwhile Rian worked closely with Story Group, exchanged notes with Dave Filoni, talked a lot with KK, etc. You could say he got an A+ on his homework! 😉 Rian was backing George’s vision and his themes and what he was trying to tell the world when he started production on A New Hope. GL liked TLJ a lot and talked to Rian right after he saw it to tell him it was beautifully made.

So, it seems the root of the problem here is the battle between the creators that support George’s inherently feminine and compassionate version of SW, and those that support Disney’s space ships and fanbros version of SW.

Dave Filoni is 100% on the side of George Lucas, KK, Rian Johnson, and good old Joseph Campbell’s version of Star Wars. He is the one that is in charge of all SW tv shows. He oversees The Mandalorian. Season 1 was marketed as a badass bounty hunter kicking butt through the Outer Rim, but it was actually about a lonely man longing for a family and a deeper purpose in life. Instead of just being a random guy kicking ass, he is a guy trying to protect his child from evil; it’s all about family. Like SW is supposed to be. Like what Tros miserably failed at and then attempted to claim it was.

Dave didn’t bring Maul back or Ahsoka back several times just to please fans. He did it because it was good for the story; those characters supported the themes of family and redemption and mythic storytelling in different ways. I don’t think he is bringing Boba Fett back for nostalgia; I think he is going to use him in a way that will develop the themes of the story and ultimately support GL, compassion, redemption, family, and love conquers all.

I don’t have any idea how yet, but all I’m saying is that the last season of Clone Wars had several shot for shot parallels to TLJ. There is a reason for everything he does, even the framing of a scene. So I have a lot of hope that bringing back a character from the dead will have a great reason too.

Let’s hope that someday George Lucas’ Star Wars wins the battle when it comes to Ben Solo as well. Until then, May the Force be With You!

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

“Rise of Skywalker” Questions

How did Palpatine survive the events of Return of the Jedi?

Where has be been for the last 30 years?

How did he build an entire fleet of Death Star Destroyers?

Where did he get the technology to build a thousand super lasers?

If he’s been pulling the strings this whole time, why did he bother making Star Killer Base after the first two Death Stars failed the exact same way?  A fleet of super laser star destroyers is objectively better and more useful.

Why did he build all the Death Star Destroyers on a planet they can’t leave by themselves?

Why can’t they navigate away from the planet without a radio tower?

When they turn off the radio tower, the head ship of the fleet is able to navigate for them anyway, so why can’t they all just do that and navigate for themselves?

What happened to the one Death Star Destroyer that blew up that random planet?  Did it return to get stuck with the rest of fleet on the planet, or is it still out on the galaxy?

Why did none of the fleet escape the planet during the battle?  Surely one or two or ten could have managed to navigate away (Poe says they couldn’t tell which was was up due to the magnetic field of the Sith planet, but, like, up is up, the sky is up, it’s really easy to fly up and away from a planet, just point your engines towards it and turn them on; ALSO a billion rebel ships made it all the way to said planet, so why couldn’t a single Sith ship leave it?)

When did Palpatine have a son?  With who?

Why was his son a “nobody” instead of the heir apparent to the Empire?

Was his son part of the Rebellion?  The Resistance?  Neither?  Rey was born in 15 BBY and her parents disappeared like 10-ish years later, but her dad is clearly older than 25, so he must have been born between Episodes 3 and 4.

Was he force sensitive too?  Why did Palpatine have his son killed and keep searching for his granddaughter instead?  Wouldn’t his son still be a valuable asset?  Rey’s mom told the random Sith assassin that Rey is definitely not on Jakku, so why didn’t Palpatine look on Jakku?

Who was Lor San Tekka in the Force Awakens?  Did he know who Rey was and guard over her like Obi Wan did to Luke?  Kylo has apparently known him for a long time (”look how old you’ve become”), so did he know Luke and Leia during the original trilogy?  Did he know Palpatine’s son?

In the books and video games, it is revealed that Palpatine sabotaged the Emprie after his death (search “the Contingency” and “Operation: Cinder” on Wookieepedia)  Why?  Why did he do this?  Why did he cripple his empire if he survived and continued pulling strings behind the scenes?  Is it because Disney is making this up as they go along and forgot to reconcile their new idea with their old idea from a few years ago?

Luke says that Leia knew Rey was a Palpatine the whole time, so did Luke know about her dad?  Did he ever try to recruit the son of the Emperor to the light side of the force, or did he just reject his dad because he was a million year old evil scrotum?

Palpatine says he impersonated Vader to try and lure Ben Solo to the dark side.  If Palpatine pretended to be Darth Vader, why didn’t the real ghost of Anakin come to his grandson and intervene?  Why did Anakin let Ben think he was evil?  Anakin appeared before Luke at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi,’ he appeared to Rey in this film as a disembodied voice, why didn’t he appear to his own grandson?

Palpatine created Snoke; was Snoke the product of his “Darth-Plagueis-midichlorian-create-life-using-the-force” technique he hinted about in that meme everyone has stopped caring about Episode 3?  If Anakin is Space Jesus (virgin-born chosen one), does that make Snoke the Space Anti-Christ?  If so, why did Snoke die like a bitch?

Darth Maul got cut in half but came back in the cartoon with robot legs and this was carried over into canon when Disney took over, so he showed up in another cartoon and then Solo; could Snoke have come back with robot legs?

Rey impales Kylo but then force-heals him; why didn’t Obi Wan force-heal Qui Gon Jinn after Darth Maul impaled him?  Disney just keeps making things up with no regard for continuity because they know the average consumer doesn’t care and that the opinions of butt hurt fanboys like me don’t matter because we keep shelling out money to see the franchise no matter how much we nitpick and complain...

Poe’s parents were part of the rebellion and Leia is a surrogate mom to him; at what point did he become a drug dealer spice smuggler for the criminal underground?  Did he leave the resistance to become a scoundrel then come back, or was he raised a scoundrel and then joined the good side because he was compelled to do so?  If the latter, doesn’t that just give him the exact same story arc as Han Solo in both Solo and A New Hope?

Where did the berries go after Kylo Ren spilled them in his room?  They show the audience that Rey’s and Kylo’s surroundings are linked when they have their dates visions, but the berries are gone in the next shot.  Also, did he leave Darth Vader’s helmet down in the village after Rey accidentally teleported it to him, or did he bring it back with him?  He was able to snatch the necklace AND the lightsaber from Rey through these visions, so the berries and the helmet were real and not just force projections.  (this one is a joke, I don’t really care)

Is Finn secretly force sensitive too?  I’d be totally down for that; I’ve wanted that ever since 2015 when we saw the first teaser of him holding a lightsaber!  He sensed Rey was hurt AND knew exactly what ship to attack because he “had a feeling.”  Is this going to go anywhere, or was it just a plot device so he could find the one ship he needed out of the entire fleet?

Where was Lando for the last 10-15 years (however long it was since Kylo’s fall and Luke’s exile)?  Where was Wedge Antilles who appeared in exactly one shot and then never again?  Where was Nien Nunb and why hasn’t his name ever been said on screen?  Speaking of names, I think Poe was the first person to ever actually say Snap Wexley’s name on screen, but even then only his nickname and not until he was shot out of the air and exploded.

Why did Zorri Bliss change her mind to much?  First she wants to kill Poe and sell out his friends, then she wants to run away with him and gives him her MacGuffin so he can slip onto the enemy ship, then she saves his ass during the final battle, then when he gives her the bedroom eyes she shakes her head to turn him down.  Why is she here?

How did Maz Kanata get Luke’s lightsaber?  How does Rey have the lightsaber after it was destroyed in The Last Jedi?  Canon nerd tech manuals say that kyber crystals are super important and that broken ones don’t work right (Kylo’s blade is all fizzly because his crystal is cracked), so how did Rey repair it?  Where did Rey get the crystal for her yellow saber?  I heard someone say that it’s actually white and it’s supposed to be a combination of the classic blue, green and red saber colors, but she didn’t have Luke’s green saber, she had two blue sabers and Kylo threw his red one away.

And most importantly

Where is Baby Yoda?  Surely he has to be Little Kid Yoda by now; it’s been like 20 years since the events of The Mandalorian.

I don’t even enjoy this franchise anymore.  I know my opinion doesn’t matter, so I’m just gonna stop giving it.  I’m done with Star Wars media.  I’m not gonna watch it anymore; no anthology films, no more saga episodes (because we all KNOW x, xi and xii are in the works no matter what Disney says), no streaming service shows, no cartoons, no books, no video games (I never played the video games anyway), no theme park rides, no more moichendising

[jadejedi]

So You Hate The Last Jedi

Part One- Theme   Part Two- Luke    Part Three- Rey     Part Four- Finn

Part One- Intro and Themes

So, you hated The Last Jedi. I know that this is a hot take in most corners of the Star Wars fandom here at tumblr.com, but The Last Jedi is my second favorite Star Wars movie of all time, easily, behind Empire. I know a LOT of people disagree with me, especially among hard-core Star Wars fans, and I understand. I really do. I actually hated The Last Jedi when it first came out. I hated it for a good year or so, until I heard some convincing arguments that made me want to rewatch it, and after that viewing, I appreciated it more. And honestly, the more I rewatched it, the more I loved it. 

I realize that this movie is more than two years old at this point, but I still see a lot of hate for it here, and that makes me sad :( So, I wanted to talk about it. 

I know that the sequel trilogy isn’t super popular with most prequel fans, but I hope that if you are a prequel trilogy fan, you will hear me out, because I personally find a lot of closure for the saga as a whole, especially the prequel trilogy, in The Last Jedi, and think it does a lot to tie the saga together. 

And If you’re a fan of The Force Awakens, but hated TLJ, I hope you’ll hear me out because I was you, for a long time. I couldn’t even think of this movie without my blood boiling. But now I see it as a great continuation of the characters that we first fell in love with TFA. 

Okay, let’s strap in. 

While there are perfectly valid reasons to dislike and criticize TLJ, such as the pacing, for example, I do take some issue with a lot of the criticisms I see of this movie.

 Some of these things have been covered to varying extents by the videos that convinced me to do a rewatch, and some I haven’t really seen discussed, so I want to just write out some of my thoughts. This could honestly be a really, really long post, so instead I’m going to split it up into five parts. 

A couple of things before I start: 

First off: here are the videos that originally made me reevaluate my opinion: 

Shaun’s “A Defense of The Last Jedi”

Jenny Nicholson’s “Top Ten Worst Reasons You Hated The Last Jedi”

And this one, which I only watched recently, but also adds to the discussion:

Just Write’s “The Last Jedi and the 7 Basic Questions of Narrative Drama”

And secondly: 

I am not going to defend every single criticism I’ve ever seen levied against this movie, because honestly, I don’t care. If you didn’t like this movie because of the choreography of the Throne Room fight scene, or because you think the Holdo manuver is stupid, or you’re mad that Snoke wasn’t Darth Plagueis, then I don’t think I will be able to change your mind. 

Here are the main criticisms I want to deal with: 

1. Luke’s character was treated horribly. Luke would never try and kill his nephew, not when it was his love that saved and redeemed his father. Having him run off and hide on a deserted planet, cut off from the Force, and drinking green milk from an alien sea cow is a disservice to his character. 

2. It’s stupid that Rey’s parents are nobodies (I’m going to pretend that TRoS doesn’t exist because it clearly doesn’t reflect Johnson’s intentions, therefore isn’t relevant to my argument). She should be a ______ (Skywalker, Kenobi, reincarnated Anakin, Palpatine, etc). 

3. Finn’s character arc was pointless, the whole Canto Bight storyline was useless because it didn’t accomplish anything and why was he stuck with Rose the whole movie and split up from Rey/Poe?? Also, his character arc is literally just a rehash from TFA????

4. Why did the movie portray Poe as a too cocky flyboy? Why didn’t Holdo just tell him the plan? 

I’m not going to discuss Kylo Ren, because I think Shaun and Jenny’s videos both do a great job of discussing this and I have nothing to add. Same thing for anyone who thinks that Rey is a Mary Sue. It has been discussed at length by many people, and does not need to be echoed by myself.

With that out of the way, we can get into the first topic: theme.

In order to properly address these criticisms, we first need to have a discussion of the themes of The Last Jedi. Most of these questions listed above can be answered by the theme, which is all but stated outright several times, first by Finn, and then by Yoda. 

After the Canto Bight chase scene (a scene I admit is a ‘fill up your popcorn’ scene), Finn states, in response to Rose telling him that they’re trapped, “It was worth it, though. To tear up that town, make ‘em hurt.”

And when Yoda’s Force Ghost appears to Luke, he says, “Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery, mm, but weakness, folly, failure, also, yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher failure is.”

These are basically the two most important lines of the movie. If you get anything from The Last Jedi, it should be these two lines, as they summarize the theme. I would say the theme of TLJ can best be summed up as, “Failure is not always a bad thing; through failure we can learn from our mistakes, and there is hope that can be taken from that.”

That is why the movie’s main villain and our protagonist’s main antagonist, Kylo Ren, says something along the lines of ‘let go of the past’. He doesn’t learn from his mistakes. As Shaun says in his video, he kills his father in The Force Awakens and is emotionally crippled because of it, but then in The Last Jedi, he fails because he once again tries to kill his other main father figure, rather than learning from his mistakes. 

And that is why Canto Bight exists. Or at least one of the two main reasons. Canto Bight doesn’t do a lot for the plot, but it does a ton for the theme. The whole point is that good things can come out of failure, that sometimes it is the things you learn along the way that are important. 

Why does Luke try to kill Ben? Because of the theme. Now, that doesn’t mean it was a good decision for his character, I’m leaving that for part two, but that is why. And why Poe is so cocky, and why Rey believes that she can turn Kylo, even when all evidence points otherwise. 

While this theme of failure is the main theme of The Last Jedi, it is not the only theme. I would say that there are two smaller, yet still significant ideas running through this movie. The first is one that reeeeeaaaaaallllllllly pisses off some of the more dudebro elements of the fandom, specifically the idea of how men listen to women. 

In The Last Jedi, there are three main male hero characters, Finn, Poe, and Luke, and all three of them have conflicts that involve disagreeing with a woman. Now, first of all, I am NOT saying that these three male characters are sexist, or that Rian Johnson thinks that they are, or even wrote them to be. To me, this message wasn’t so much for the characters, as for the audience. He didn’t write three men being wrong about a woman to say, “hey look Finn, Poe, and Luke are all bad and sexist’, he wrote them this way to say, especially to the very dudebros who took offense to some parts of this movie, “hey, look, sometimes women will challenge you. It’s up to you to listen to them and take them seriously.” And hey, love that for us. 

While a large part of the Star Wars Fandom is some amount of progressive, a very vocal part of the fanbase is decidedly not. I appreciate, in fact that Rian Johnson was able to put in this message *without* making Finn, Poe, and Luke look sexist, as I like to think sexism is fairly rare in the world of Star Wars. The reason that these characters disagreed with Rey or Holdo or Rose wasn’t because they are women, but the reason that some male fans are so upset about it is. I think just seeing these male characters learn important, valuable lessons from these female characters is really great, and really not what I would have expected from this movie.

The second smaller, yet still important, idea running throughout this movie, dealing with a collective dark history, is one I will deal with more later.

[thez1337]

Happy Star Wars Month!

Happy Star Wars Month! Compiled here is a chronology of what the Kylux fandom has been through so far. This is by no means complete, and is specifically tailored for events in the USA, so it’s being provided as an open source document to share and distribute because each fan’s experience is different. We should all be so proud of our accomplishments, from art to fics to comics to toys and so much more!

I want to thank everybody who helped compile this list; it was truly a group effort. The link is below, though I’ve included the entire list under the cut.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1B9nAz3lDbXfBVYjZi3OtpHhXnjrIAyAc63Qly1BJvTo/edit?usp=sharing

2015

Domhnall Gleeson spoils the name of Starkiller Base - July 10, 2015

Domhnall Gleeson, Gwendoline Christie and Adam Driver are interviewed for Star Wars E7 at San Diego Comic Con - July 11, 2015

Snickers comes out with wrappers that have sayings such as "hot mess" and "whiny" - September 22, 2015

The Force Awakens Trailer released - October 19, 2015

First Explicit Kylux Fic posted on AO3 titled "broken wishbones under your bed" by wolfhalls - November 27, 2015

The Force Awakens Red Carpet Premiere - December 14, 2015

Domhnall Gleeson goes on The Late Show with James Corden - December 16, 2015

The Force Awakens - December 18, 2015

General Hux TFA 2015 Collection Action figure released - 2015

2016

Kiss a Ginger Day - January 12, 2016

Star Wars Undercover Boss - Starkiller Base – SNL, aka when we meet Matt the Radar Technician - January 17, 2016

First #Huxlive tweet - February 5, 2016

Millicent mentioned by Lucasfilms Creative Executive Pablo Hidalgo in tweets - February 6, 2016

"Friction" by Imagine Dragons becomes the national Kylux Anthem because of a video made by Studio Sagittarius - February 21, 2016

Kylux Bingo Card, 1st fan edition released - February 19, 2016

This Is Madness Tournament where Hux got 40% against Boba Fett's 60% - March 2016

The term "Blue milkshake" is entered in to the fandom vocabulary because of a fic on AO3 with that title by Ilyn - April 23, 2016

Kylux Exchange May 2016 - May 2016

General Armitage Hux Day (Domhnall's Birthday) - May 12, 2016

General Hux is entered in to Urban Dictionary as "A ginger-headed individual with daddy issues set on ruling the entire galaxy with his fan club, alongside his terrifying baby-faced boyfriend who goes by the name of Kylo Ren" - May 31, 2016

National Donut Day - June 1, 2016 

First Kylux Positivity Week - June 8, 2016

My Journey From Marine to Actor, Adam Driver's Ted Talk - June 21, 2016

"I Fucken Hate Kylux" is first uttered on Anon to several Kyluxers - June 2016

Lego Star Wars The Force Awakens game released with an Aerobics Hux clad in yellow who also eats pink ice cream - June 28 2016

The first anti-Kylux post by waluigitheanti on Tumblr - July 5, 2016

Armitage Day, the day Armitage’s first name is revealed through leaks and/or previews - July 9, 2016

Chuck Wendig's Life Debt: Aftermath trilogy comes out with Armitage’s official first name - July 11, 2016

Lucasfilms Creative Executive Pablo Hidalgo mentions that Kylo and Hux have been working together for around the past 5 years - August 6, 2016

Kylux 33 Days of Guro - August 2016

AO3 Ship Stats 2016 Overall Top 100 list where Kylux made it to #7 - August 4, 2016

Kylux Big Bang 2016 - September 2016

Pablo Hidalgo tweets that there was no reason why Hux had not seen Kylo’s face before – September 22, 2016

General Hux is given a second entry in to Urban Dictionary as "The act of cumming on your partner's face while you yell 'DEATH TO THE RESISTANCE' (while rolling the R) and pretending your cum is a giant laser beam and your partners face is a star system home to billions of lives who will soon be extinguished. Bonus points if you are choking them and they are crying for totally unrelated reasons." - September 24, 2016

Huxloween 2016 - October 1, 2016

Kylux Holiday Cards Exchange - November 22, 2016

Children Wake Up Series by Hollycomb had, and possible still does have, the most hits, kudos, and comments in the Kylux tag on AO3 - 12/31/2016

General Hux First Order Black Series 6" #13 2016 Action figure - 2016

 2017

Star Wars Kylo Ren and General Hux Cat Mice Toy - Early 2017

Kylux Bingo Card, 2nd fan edition created - January 3rd, 2017

Kiss a Ginger Day - January 12, 2017 

Kylux Eggstravaganza - May 1, 2017

"Darth Tantrum And His Evil Space Ginger" is first coined in an AO3 fic titled “The Art of Being Torn Apart” by Cynical Pudding and DailyAl - May 2, 2017

General Armitage Hux Day (Domhnall's Birthday) - May 12, 2017

Vanity Fair publishes "See the Cast of Star Wars: The Last Jedi on Four Exclusive Covers," one of which has Captain Phasma, Kylo Ren, and General Hux - May 23, 2017

National Donut Day - June 1, 2017 

AO3 Ship Stats 2017 Overall Top 100 list where Kylux made it to #37 - August 3, 2017

Adam Driver interviewed on Today - August 20, 2017

Kylux Big Bang 2017 - September 2017

Hux's pleated black robe and ice-blue sofa are mentioned in the Phasma Novel by Delilah S. Dawson - September 1, 2017

Domhnall Gleeson shows up to the premiere of Mother! with a mustache – September 6, 2017

Domhnall Gleeson gives interview to Hollywood XYZ and shows up without mustache - September 17, 2017

Huxloween 2017 - October 1, 2017

The Last Jedi Trailer released - October 9, 2017

Screen Rat Adam Driver Interview - December 6, 2017

The Last Jedi Red Carpet Premiere - December 9, 2017

Secret Santa Interview where Domhnall said he would give Ren a grenade, and Adam said he would give Hux socks every year - December 11, 2017

Adam Driver goes on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and is surprised by the red soles of the shoes they made him wear - December 14, 2017

The Last Jedi - December 15, 2017

The Last Jedi Visual Dictionary released with a picture of Kylo Ren's bedroom - December 15, 2017

Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Domhnall Gleeson "General Hux" Behind the Scenes Official Movie Interview, aka a tastefully disheveled Hux talks with reporter in a casual setting - December 17, 2017

Compliment Battle with the Cast of Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Funny Moments with Daisy Ridley & Domhnall Gleeson - December 19, 2017

General Hux With Mouse Droid TLJ Collection Action figure 2016 - 2017

 2018

Kiss a Ginger Day - January 12, 2018

Delilah S. Dawson, author of the Phasma novel, came out as a Kylucc - January 26, 2018

Domhnall goes on the late show with James Corden to talk about Peter Rabbit - February 6, 2018

Domhnall Gleeson of 'The Last Jedi' Pitches General Hux Spin Off Ideas, After Hours, MTV - February 6, 2018

Peter Rabbit comes out, confirming Armitage Hux's eyes as "sea foam green with a hint of battleship grey" - February 9, 2018

Domhnall's brother tells him about Kylux - February 10, 2018

Rian Johnson mentions claims by reports that anybody who likes Hux is actually a Russian Huxbot, in Anthony Wonke’s 90-minute documentary titled “The Director and the Jedi” - March 13 2018

Garry Whitta, artist of TLJ comic jokes about virgin Hux, and later Delilah S. Dawson tweeted about him not taking his gloves off while having sex - March 20, 2018

Star Wars The Last Jedi Outtakes + Bloopers Released with one single sneak peak of Hux - March 28, 2018

Kelly Marie Tran comes out as a Kylucc - March 29, 2018

General Armitage Hux Day (Domhnall's Birthday) - May 12, 2018

Kylux Prompt Bingo - May 22, 2018

National Donut Day - June 1, 20 18

First Kylux Summer Fest - June 29, 2018

Star Wars Episode IX Cast Announced - July 27, 2018

Kylux Big Bang 2018 - September 2018

Domhnall Gleeson interview: on Star Wars and playing Dr. Faraday in his new film, the Little Stranger photographed by Jonathan Dean with lighting that made it look like one could cut their fingers on how sharp Domhnall's cheekbones appear - September 16, 2018 

First post about Kylux Niche Kinks November - September 21, 2018

Kylux Secret Santa Fic Exchange 2018 - September 23 2018

Adam Driver's second time hosting SNL - September 28, 2018

Star War: The Last Jedi Graphic Novel Adaptation - September 25, 2018

Kylux Book club - October 1, 2018

Huxloween 2018 – October 2018

Kylux Holiday Cards Exchange - November 12, 2018

Kylux Titleception 2018 - December 1, 2018

Kylux Content Creator Document created on Google Docs - December 3, 2018

RIP Tumblr - December 17, 2018

Official Announcement of one year time skip between TLJ and TROS - December 22, 2018

 2019

Kiss a Ginger Day - January 12, 2019

Kylux Fluff Fest - January 22, 19

Kylux Calendar Project - January 24, 2019

Kylux Romance Week - February 10, 19

Kylux Titleception 2019 - February 15, 2019

Kylux Tarot Card Project - February 23, 2019

General Hux Appreciation Day - March 17, 2019

Star Wars Age of Resistance # 1 Hux comic announcement – April 2, 2019

The Rise of Skywalker teaser trailer released - April 12, 2019

Star Wars Age of Resistance # 1 Hux comic First Look at cover - April 13, 2019

#JFDKYLUX on Twitter - May 1, 2019

Kyluxception Kylux Adjacents Month 2019 - May 1, 2019

General Armitage Hux Day (Domhnall's Birthday) - May 12, 2019

Star Wars Instagram states "sending many birthday wishes (and hugs) to General Hux himself, Domhnall Gleeson!" with a saddened Hux looking down - May 12, 2019

Vanity Fair posts "Star Wars: The Knights of Ren Make Their Long Awaited Return" story and KOR photo - May 22, 2019

Vanity Fair posts "Star Wars: Richard E. Grant’s Villainous Character, Revealed" story and a photo of General Hux with General Pryde, whose name and the irony of it was not lost on the fandom - May 22, 2019

National Donut Day - June 1, 2019

Kylux Omegaverse Week - June 9, 2019

Kylux Daddy Fest 2019 - June 10, 2019

Kylux Summer Fest 2019 - July 1, 2019

Star War Instagram posts photo of Domhnall Gleeson posing as General Hux on the platform of Star Killer Base from The Force Awakens with Gwendoline Christie unhelmeted in the background as Captain Phasma - July 7, 2019

AO3 Ship Stats 2019 Overall Top 100 list where Kylux made it to #28 – July 24,2019

Kylux Adjacent Calendar/Schedule Planner Project Memorial Book for 2020 - July 31, 2019

Domhnall Gleeson goes on the Late Show With James Corden and talks about singing Happy Birthday as General Hux - August 6, 2019

Automattic buys Tumblr for $3 million - August 12, 2019

Hugo Award to AO3 and all fic writers - August 19, 2019

Star Wars Age of Resistance # 1 Hux comic spoiler released - August 22, 2019

The Rise of Skywalker D23 Special Look trailer - August 26, 2019

Star Wars Age of Resistance # 1 Hux comic comes out - August 28, 2019

Kylux Big Bang 2019 - September 1, 2019

Huxloween 2019 - October 1, 2019

AQUARIUS Star Wars Episode 9 The Rise of Skywalker Playing Cards with Hux included - November 20, 2019

Hux Topps trading card from the 2019 Star Wars Masterwork set - November 20, 2019

New Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker Posters with one tiny glimpse of Hux - November 21, 2019

Kylux Holiday Card Exchange - December 2, 2019

Adam Driver, “Dark Star Rising” interview in Rolling Stone Magazine - December 2, 2019

The Rise of Skywalker red carpet premiere - 

The Rise of Skywalker - December 19, 2019

What else is missing? Feel free to add your own!

When the video was released that Kylo walked in to the millennium falcon in TFA.

Domhnall mentions that he's "terribly irish in real life" in a Peter rabbit interview where he's wearing a navy blue button up

Kylux Day - Maybe June 6, 2016?