#Stagecoach Foundation

[jerreeeeeee]

i don't think taako's voice is really all that high most of the time. it's higher than justin's normal voice a little, but idk, the defining quality of it isn't its pitch to me, there's something else that i don't really have the words for. but anyway i do notice that his voice gets lower and less exaggerated when he's being serious. which is interesting bc it sort of implies that the usual "taako voice" is something he puts on.

i don't really think of taako as a habitual performer. his charisma modifier is a -1, he's not this ultra smooth charming actor, and although he does tend to hide behind humor and is slow to build connections, he's also very frank with what he's about and what he wants. he goes on an entire tirade about wanting to talk about his feelings (he's multidimensional!), he never acts embarrassed or hesitant about big moments of vulnerability and caring for others (arms outstretched, "i'm not going fucking anywhere," admitting a deep fear to kravitz on their first date, spilling his tragic backstory to angus, not to mention several serious moments with lup) (and not all of these can be chalked up to "forgotten connections," either. he does have a foundation of growth with magnus and merle, even forgotten, and his conversations with lup are of course all with memories intact, but he does not have that with kravitz and angus). he's just slow to reveal all of his hidden depths, because of (understandable) trust issues. but all in all he's not nearly as closed off as i think fandom tends to portray him (which is not to say he's open, either), nor is he someone who wears a lot of masks and obscures himself. i don't think he hides his "true self."

sizzle it up was successful because of his intelligence, not his charisma. he's a natural teacher who's knowledgeable and passionate, and that was what made the show great, not his personality or performance (though i don't think those were bad. just not the primary appeal of the show. the only fan we see is ren, and she loved sizzle it up because it inspired her and taught her to cook, not because she thought taako was awesome or whatever). bc that's the thing, he's not a performer, but he is extremely adaptable. so when he's set up with a stagecoach and a show lined up, sure, he'll have a TV persona, he'll learn to be charming, he'll learn to be showy, when he's on stage. when he gets famous, he learns to like being famous, but i don't think it was really a dream of his before then. or at least not in the way people think of it. i don't think he ever wanted to be a celebrity as much as a celebrity chef or celebrity wizard. he doesn't care if people think he's pretty. he doesn't want people to adore him (before the voidfish, anyway. afterwards is a different story. there's a void where love used to be that he's desperate to fill, and adoration almost feels like it works). really what he wants is for people to appreciate his skill and intelligence and depth (and he's also very afraid of actually displaying those things. he's multidimensional).

but most of the time, when he's not literally performing for an audience, i just don't think he's putting on a show, desperate for people to like him and think he's charming. he'll do what he needs to do, say what he needs to say, be who he needs to be in any given circumstance, with strangers and antagonists, but he also drops the act when it's not necessary. or at least his performance is subtler. he performs stupidity, he performs nonchalance, he makes efforts to be funny (because he is always funny, but that's something you have to work for and always be thinking about, even when the humor is dry), he carefully does just enough to be useful, but not enough to raise expectations. he's very aware of how other people view him, but he's also perfectly okay with people thinking negatively about him—as long as they're the negative traits he wants people to see. but, he only does all those things in the beginning of the show; after a little while with magnus and merle, after a little while with the bob, he drops the act. so i guess that's the difference to me. he's adaptable out of necessity, it doesn't bleed into his entire life. i don't even really think i'd qualify it as a performance. it's more of an invisibility. he's not performing charisma to get people to like him, he's trying to lay low. but then when he actually wants people to like him, he's himself, fairly unapologetically. with the people who matter, lup, magnus and merle, kravitz, the other bob members, the other ipre crew, he's pretty comfortable with himself.

one last interesting point is that while he doesn’t seem to hesitate when it comes to actions, he does shy away from verbal displays of affection, trust, vulnerability. and the best two scenes to show that play out almost exactly the same: lup’s best day ever dinner, and dropping his disguise self with kravitz. in each, taako does something meaningful for both npcs, who then verbalize their affection for him, which taako immediately deflects with a joke.

taako drops his disguise spell for kravitz, totally honest with him, (although… i don’t tend to think the beauty sacrifice was as meaningful to taako as fandom tends to portray, i think most of his vanity is an exaggeration he intentionally cultivates, but still, it’s a vulnerable moment, he clearly cares what kravitz thinks), and kravitz tells him he loves him. to which taako replies with a joke. he does not return the words.

taako doesn’t hesitate to construct the best day ever for lup, never even questions why she’d ask. he puts it all together, cooks for her, shows her he knows her, he loves her—and then when she bears her heart to him, tells him he is her heart, all he says is, “i know,” and pulls out a bottle of vodka. of course lup knows he loves her, the whole day was an elaborate demonstration of it, but he doesn’t say anything. to be fair, it’s not exactly a typical interaction between them, taako is textually scared shitless, lup did just tell him she’s going to turn herself into an undead abomination, so he’s not exactly at his best here. but anyway.

i don’t really have anything to add to this observation, it’s just very consistent and interesting to me. taako is fairly comfortable with grand gestures, but sidesteps around words. which ties in perfectly with his identity as a chef, to me. cooking is an action, work, intention, cooking for people is an act of love, an act of connection, an act of caring, and taako’s character doesn’t fit the bill for that—except, he kinda really does.

[ginandoldlace]

Few former bus companies have retained a place in former customers’ psyche’s more than Southdown Motor Services. Though the company disappeared in its own right within Stagecoach in August 1989, it is still fondly thought of by many, as the massive turnout at celebrations last weekend to mark the centenary of its foundation in June 1924

[aeligsido]

[WM] Prompt 1 — Western.

Rating: G.

Characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Orion Black, Walburga Black, Regulus Black, James Potter.

Additional Tags: flirting, first meeting, bartender Remus, rich Sirius.

Summary: Sirius is traveling with his family, and meets a cute bartender.

Words count: 646.

A/N: Disclaimer that my only knowledge of western is from Lucky Luke and I haven’t read the comics in ages. Also it’s my first time writing these characters kzjsjs. Hope you like it ❤️

@wolfstarmicrofic

—

When she steps out of the stagecoach, Mother is less than impressed by what she discovers; Sirius can tell by the turn of her lips and the uplifting of her chin. He steps out right after her, and immediately understands what rebutted her.

The town — if it can even be called one — is small, just emerging from the ground and the arrivals of new settlers. There’s maybe five houses, one of which doubles as the sheriff’s office, what seems to be a half-empty store, and a saloon. There have been a few farms on the way here, and there’s more foundations for further establishments down the main and only road, but for now it looks properly desolate, so unlike the big city they come from.

Father is talking with the driver already, and Regulus appears behind Sirius’ shoulder. He wrinkles his nose in confusion at the state of the town, looking over at him with a question in his eyes; Sirius shrugs. It’s his first time out in the Wild Wide West as well, after all — Father never brought any of them along before.

“Come on,” Father says, back from his discussion. “The saloon is also an inn. We will get rooms here.”

He leads the way, and they follow as always. Regulus is walking so close to Sirius that they almost trip over each other, but he doesn't have the heart to berate his brother when he looks so anxious at his surroundings. The inn is surprisingly empty, save for two people at the bar; one of them, with wide glasses and wild hair, is talking animatedly, while the other, half-hunched over the counter and attention all on his compagnon, is quietly listening. He stands up when they enter, though, and greets them with a polite smile.

“Welcome! What can I get you?”

Up close, the polite smile is paired with dark blond curls and brown eyes, and freckles dusted at the top of his cheeks and nose.

“How many rooms do you have?” asks Father, his hand already hovering over his coin pouch.

The bartender hesitates only an instant. “Two with double beds. How long will you stay?”

“Three days.” They hash out a few more details, and Sirius loses interest; he catches the eyes of the man at the bar beside them, who raises his untouched glass toward him with a wink. Mother is already steering Regulus away, as if being in the presence of alcohol will be enough to corrupt him forever.

“Take the keys, Sirius.”

He obeys, hand reaching out to the bartender; he is pretty cute, in a gentle kind of way. Sirius may be looking a bit too intently, because the man in front of him gets suddenly flustered. Adorable.

Sirius checks; his father has joined Mother and Regulus near the stairs, and his parents are too busy having a silent argument to put much attention on him. And he does have three days to occupy.

They keys drop in his hand, one after the other, the bartender’s fingers just brushing against his palm. Sirius leans on the counter, grin on his lips and eyebrows raised just slightly.

“And which one is yours?”

The man's cheeks turn pink. He clears his throat, sending a look toward the only other customer — who seems suddenly fascinated by his whiskey — before giving his attention back to Sirius. He’s biting the corner of his bottom lip in an anxious, unconscious action, eyes contemplating, and Sirius stares.

“You should go back,” he finally says, and the disappointment settles on Sirius’ shoulders.

He straightens up; but then, the bartender blurts out, words fast and clutched together, “First door on the right after the stairs.” He looks so taken aback by his own words, Sirius’ grin softens into a smile.

“Well then, I'll see you tonight.”

“Remus.”

“Remus.” Sirius winks, and goes back to his family.

[mailperson]

Okay I’ve gotten far enough into darkest dungeon 2 to give an evaluated appraisal.

The Good:

-The 3D models are more expressive than screenshots would make you think. Enemy variety is also broader.

-Small quality of life features the first game lacked. The ability to see turn order and look up what terms and symbols mean is a good addition.

-The routes are surprisingly interesting to look at and the soundtrack remains as decent as the first game in some ways.

-Combat has more depth to it by a big margin, and on that note relationships are a fantastic way to explore combat roles that can vary by runs.

-A run through a route will nearly always be more varied than standard quests in the first game.

The Bad

-What constitutes a run is extremely confusing at the beginning. It is deeply unclear what the main game consists of and what counts as being in a run vs. between them until you’ve done two to three routes.

-Healing is arbitrarily limited by thresholds and cooldowns to where inevitably most runs just wind up being a balancing act of barely if at all keeping heroes off death’s door until you hit the inn. Healing as the stagecoach travels is a half-baked mechanic that I feel just shouldn’t exist at all in favor of freer use healing moves.

-The inability to flee from fights or abandon quests until reaching the inn does nothing for the game. There is no real benefit to changing this, it’s just an irritating hurdle. Even the ability to abandon mid-route for a cost while maintaining hero memories is better than just losing the memories.

-This game is obsessed with being as convoluted as possible to obfuscate simple mechanics. There is no reason every single combat mechanic has to be represented by one of dozens of different yet often similar-looking icon symbols when words do just fine. If I have to pull up the tutorial glossary every five minutes then it’s not saving anyone time.

-Despite the mechanical additions being good there is, in general, WAY too much tutorializing. Rather than throw every single mechanic at the player from the start, mechanics should have gradually been introduced as fights and routes become more difficult and complex. Even despite the million and one tutorial windows, some tooltips and descriptions are still way too vague to grasp without prior experience.

-At times way more RNG dependent than the first game, absolutely to its detriment. Strategy goes out the window if you cannot reliably keep your party alive and within reasonable stress thresholds.

-Every single run having your heroes starting at what is functionally level zero feels awful. Hero move upgrades should’ve been a permanent feature at the altar of hope. On that note, some features at the altar of hope feel like such minor upgrades that they should’ve been relegated to upgrades purchased at the inn during a run.

-Hero backstory memories are a clumsy form of progression. In my opinion they should not be scenarios you can fail. Being a location that exists in the middle of routes rather than an altar of hope feature feels unpleasant too, too much of an oppurtunity to miss them.

Overall: Very mixed feelings on this game. I couldn’t confidently call it bad, and I do respect the clear intent to try something different and new compared to the first game. Overall it just feels a little clumsy and that some core foundations of the game aren’t strong enough to be core foundations.

[fuckyeahlegionm]

Legion M is proud to partner with George R. R. Martin and The Stagecoach Foundation in support of their online auction during Wondercon 2021. In doing so we are bringing the exciting world of Wild Cards to life with an RPG experience nearly more than 40 years in the making. Please join us for a special broadcast featuring a new campaign and AMA with the esteemed authors of the Wild Cards series on Twitch!

MARCH 26TH & 27TH ON LEGIONM.TV Full details here: legionm.com/shareholder-updates/wild-cards-wondercon-weekend

[4yourexcitement]

WonderCon@Home: Bid On Collectors’ Items From Game Of Thrones In A Live Auction For George R.R. Martin’s Stagecoach Foundation

The Stagecoach Foundation, co-founded by best-selling fantasy author George R.R. Martin, is hosting an online fundraiser with events planned from Friday, March 26 – Sunday, March 28. The fundraiser will help the Stagecoach Foundation offset losses from the COVID-19 pandemic and support its ongoing efforts to expand access to careers in the film industry for New Mexicans.  The weekend of…

[graphicpolicy]

George R.R. Martin’s Stagecoach Foundation Fundraiser Premieres at WonderCon

George R.R. Martin’s Stagecoach Foundation Fundraiser Premieres at WonderCon #WonderConAtHome2021 #Charity

The Stagecoach Foundation, co-founded by best-selling fantasy author George R.R. Martin, is hosting an online fundraiser with events planned from Friday, March 26th through Sunday, March 28th. The fundraiser will help the Stagecoach Foundation offset losses from the COVID-19 pandemic and support its ongoing efforts to expand access to careers in the film industry for New Mexicans. The weekend of…

[bretmichaels]

New Bret Michaels Auction!

New Bret Michaels Auction! Bid to win the custom cowboy hat that Bret wore at Stagecoach. Auction ends Monday, so don't wait! #liferocks

Be sure to check out our latest auction – this week it’s the custom cowboy hat that Bret wore at Stagecoach, among other events.

Check it out here –> https://bretmichaels.com/site-news/news2/auctions/?ult_auc_id=23418

A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Life Rocks Foundation. All the details are at the link above. Auction ends Monday, so don’t wait!

[astrognossienne]

scandalous star: gary cooper -an analysis

“I don’t like to see exaggerated airs and exploding egos in people who are already established. No player ever rises to prominence solely on talent. They’re molded by forces other than themselves. They should remember this – and at least twice a week drop to their knees and thank Providence for elevating them from cow ranches, dime store ribbon counters and bookkeeping desks. ” - Gary Cooper

He didn’t say much, but when he did, it carried a lot of weight. He was the archetypal hero of the Old West; the quintessential masculine ideal of the stoic and “strong silent type” that most Taurus men are. But for famously laconic Gary Cooper, his good looks and earnest, haunted eyes for decades made him the quintessential lonely American of motion pictures.He was a more equanimous, human protagonist versus boisterous, bigger-than-life Hollywood supermen. He was renowned for his quiet, understated acting style and his individualistic, emotionally restrained, but at times intense screen persona, which was particularly well suited to the many Westerns he made. He was a man’s man...as well as a ladies’ man. Cooper became a hero to many, even as he developed a reputation as one of the most notorious philanderers in Hollywood. Privately a debonair ladykiller with a taste for high society, he crafted an image as just the opposite from his prototype cowboy image he materfully portrayed on the silver screen. He was insatiable, before and during his marriage. How did he reconcile his moral righteousness onscreen (Taurus sun) with his philandering offscreen (Sagittarius moon)? That was the work of the fixers, gossip magazines, and the studio system at large, which ensured that Cooper was never caught, never denounced, and held up as a paragon of American values.

Gary Cooper, according to astrotheme, was a Taurus sun and Sagittarius moon. He was born Frank James Cooper in Helena, Montana, the second son of an English farmer from Bedfordshire, who later became an American lawyer and judge, Charles Henry Cooper (1865-1946), and Kent-born Alice (née Brazier) Cooper (1873-1967). As a child, he met a freed slave woman named Mary Fields, otherwise known as Stagecoach Mary, and so awed by her was she that he later wrote an account of his memories of her in Ebony magazine. His mother hoped for their two sons to receive a better education than that available in Montana and arranged for the boys to attend Dunstable Grammar School in Bedfordshire, England between 1910 and 1913. Upon the outbreak of World War I, Cooper’s mother brought her sons home and enrolled them in a Bozeman, Montana, high school. Upon graduation, he eventually matriculated at Grinnell College in Grinnell, IA, where he attempted to nurture a passion for drawing - until a serious car accident ended his college days in the summer of 1920. He would recover from his severely injured hip through an odd but painful therapy, horseback riding.

When his father retired from the bench and moved his mother to Los Angeles, Cooper gave up agriculture classes to try his hand as a Hollywood extra. Cooper played an extra in a handful of silent films before arriving on the set of The Winning of Barbara Worth in 1926. The actor cast as the second male lead didn’t show, and someone shoved Cooper into the part. He appeared with Clara Bow (who soon became one of his conquests) in her star-making film It, but it was his appearance in another Bow vehicle Wings, released later that same year, truly launched his career. He plays a World War I flying cadet, and although his screentime was still relatively short, there was one scene — an extended close-up shot, the light streaming in from outside — in which he looked gorgeous. In 1929, he filmed The Wolf Song with Lupe Vélez. He soon had an affair with Velez, who purportedly claimed that Cooper “has the biggest organ in Hollywood but not the ass to push it in well.” For more on their relationship, read my star analysis on Lupe.

Cooper filmed The Virginian — his first real “talkie,” and the film was a major hit and cemented the foundation of Cooper’s image. His ability to project elements of his own personality onto the characters he portrayed, to appear natural and authentic in his roles, and to underplay and deliver restrained performances calibrated for the camera and the screen helped make him a cinematic success, often lauded by those he worked with. However, his good looks and charisma made him a success with women, whether he worked with them or not. Over the next few years, Cooper was paired with the most gorgeous and promising female stars in Hollywood —with Carole Lombard in I Take This Woman (whom he slept with), Claudette Colbert in His Woman (whom he allegedly slept with), Marlene Dietrich in Morocco and Desire (who he famously slept with more than once), and Joan Blondell in Make Me a Star (who he allegedly slept with). In 1932, Cooper and his Paramount “rival,” Cary Grant, were cast against Tallulah Bankhead in Devil and the Deep (1932). Like Lupe Velez, Bankhead was a loose cannon, with most famous quote being:

“The only reason I went to Hollywood was to fuck that divine Gary Cooper.”

Amidst all his public and private action, Cooper began courting Veronica “Rocky” Balfe, a starlet who went by the stage name of Sandra Shaw. She was also best known as the blonde dropped by King Kong. The two were wed in late 1933. Balfe retired from the screen to become a wife and mother, with her giving birth to their only child, Maria, in 1937. Cooper portrayed a new type of hero—a champion of the common man—in films like Mr. Deeds Goes To Washington and 1941′s Sergeant York (which won him his first of two Best Actor Oscars). Cooper met Ernest Hemingway at Sun Valley in October 1940 and they were friends for the rest of his life. He co-starred with Ingrid Bergman (with whom he had a year-long affair with) in a the film adaptation of Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls. He kept starring in more films and bedding his female co-stars until he got more than he bargained for when he made The Fountainhead. Naturally, the 47-year-old Cooper had an affair with his co-star, the 21-year-old Patricia Neal. However, this time things got crazy: Neal wound up pregnant with Cooper’s child. He insisted she have an abortion. When Cooper’s long-suffering wife found out about the relationship, she sent a telegram demanding he end it. This didn’t work; he also confessed that he was in love with Neal, and continued to see her. Cooper and his wife legally separated in May of 1951. Cooper’s daughter Maria, by then in her early teens, famously spat on Neal in public. Neal later claimed that Cooper hit her after she went on a date with Kirk Douglas. Neal ended their relationship in late December 1951. Amid all this drama, Cooper starred in what is now regarded as his defining role: the beleaguered sheriff in High Noon, which won him his second Best Actor Oscar. In later life, he became involved in a relationship with the costume designer Irene, and was, according to Irene, "the only man she ever loved".

Maybe all his previous actions had an affect on him because Cooper converted to Catholicism in 1958, and reconciled with his wife and daughter. Also, he began starring in films that centered around searching for redemption, such as Friendly Persuasion (1956) and Man of the West (1958). In 1960, Cooper fell ill with prostate cancer, which quickly spread to his colon, lungs, and bones; he died of it shortly after his 60th birthday in 1961. A year after his death, Irene committed suicide by jumping from the 11th floor of the Knickerbocker Hotel, after telling Doris Day of her grief over Cooper's death. Regardless of his philandering, regardless of the arduous work of his studio’s publicity departments, there was something plaintive, almost childlike, maybe even innocent about Cooper, so he can easily be forgiven his sins. He acted out what mattered to millions of people, and that act made him a star beyond measure.

Next, I’ll focus on his former paramour Lupe Velez’s arch nemesis. A woman who happened to be wife of MGM art director Cedric Gibbons (Gary Cooper’s wife Rocky’s uncle). She was another pioneer of Mexican cinema who was arguably the first Latina to successfully crossover to Anglo audiences: Leo Dolores del Río.

Stats

birthdate: May 7, 1901

major planets:

Sun: Taurus

Moon: Sagittarius

Rising: Taurus

Mercury: Taurus

Venus: Taurus

Mars: Leo

Midheaven: Aquarius

Jupiter: Capricorn

Saturn: Capricorn

Uranus: Sagittarius

Neptune: Gemini

Pluto: Gemini

Overall personality snapshot: He was torn between an instinct to roam free and a determination to find security and make a solid, lasting contribution to the world. As he repeatedly changed horses in search of both ultimate certainties and high-spirited adventure at the same time, he could find himself deeply divided and uncertain. He sought to earth the fire from heaven and put it to work, but he found all too often that it would not let him rest. In his search for stability and security, he became a farmer and was immediately confronted with the changing seasons. He embraced the solid certainties of geology and are hit by an earthquake. He liked to feel the solid earth move. He sought certitude and permanence, yet his endless inquiries constantly confounded yesterday’s certainties. When he got his own uncertainties together (by accepting he wanted the best of both the changing and the unchanging worlds), he could have been a brilliant teacher, conversationalist, counselor, entertainer, wit, creative artist or entrepreneur – in fact he could have been anything he wanted. Once focused, he could be a human dynamo, and wonderfully humorous, witty and entertaining with it. As he discovered, his quest for solid material certainties did not make a happy bedfellow for his yearning for excitement and larger religious and spiritual understanding. In one way or another, be it through philosophy and the spiritual quest or through writing, music or art, he needed to put together and formulate a total vision of the universe which is based on unassailable facts yet satisfying to his idealism.

Constantly seeking, he was a natural agnostic, applying the criteria of science to counter woolly speculations, yet at the same time highly skeptical of the limited and statistical pronouncements of unthinking science. The danger, if he did not marry these elements within him, is that he would swing from one to the other and undermine the virtues of both. A restless changing of jobs, careers, partners, visions or aspirations left him drunk with his own spinning. When he deliberately tried to remain sober and commonsensical, it seemed to make matters worse for there was something of the gambler in him. This all-or-nothing streak can temporarily overcome your natural caution and enable you to burn your bridges (though you will usually ensure there is something tucked away for a rainy day). He felt an impulsive need to do things on a grand scale, to live with commitment, to feast on the world, and to understand what it was to be alive in all possible ways. He seemed to be called both to explore the reaches of the imagination and to build secure foundations. He brought far-reaching visions into manifestation, and these visions injected his conservative desire for stability and security with flair and colour. His vision of tomorrow and the larger world gave spice to any project he undertook. He saw endless possibilities and wanted to make them real. In this he could be the natural entrepreneur who saw economic opportunities at every turn, an inspiring counselor and teacher, and a stimulating companion whatever he did.

His well-shaped body displayed a warm attractiveness and ripeness. In his later years, he may have needed to watch the tendency to gain weight too easily. His strong broad shoulders supported a very large neck size. His most outstanding feature was his eyes and his gentle smile and voice. He was big-boned. He enjoyed dressing well, preferring soft colours. He was practical, steady and patient, but he could  be inflexible in his views. One thing he did have was plenty of common sense and good powers of concentration, although he tended to think that purely abstract thought was a waste of time. His thought processes weren’t as quick as others, but his decisions were made with a lot of thought behind them. He also had the welcome ability to bring people together. He needed to be able to show his originality and independence in any job for complete satisfaction. His work should also satisfy his scientific bent and humanitarian leanings. He needed scope for his inventiveness, because he was able to bring a fresh view to any job. Ideally, his work should permit him to express the idealistic side to him character and allow him to help as many people as possible. He could be extremely efficient in the way that he tried to get maximum result out of minimum effort. He didn’t like extravagance and waste. He was a thoughtful and resourceful person, who was well-informed on many subjects. Success came gradually and as a result of hard work. Success and growth, for him, were expressed by material and financial achievements, bringing status and prestige.Worldly success was well within his reach, because he possessed all the necessary talents to gain power, influence and status. He was practical, determined and patient. When there were hitches in his plans, he simply worked around them. He knew where he was heading to, and had already figured out the best way to use his talents to reach his goals.

Although he could be fairly pessimistic about life in general, it didn’t put him off aiming for the top. He could be very single-minded about reaching his goals, and was prepared to put his career interests above his personal happiness. He was extremely aware of his own worth. He was prepared to work beyond the call of duty. His strong sense of ambition gave him a certain rigidity, arrogance and selfishness in the eyes of others. He belonged to a generation with fiery enthusiasm for new and innovative ideas and concepts. Rejecting the past and its mistakes, he sought new ideals and people to believe in. As a member of this generation, he felt restless and adventurous, and was attracted towards foreign people, places and cultures. As a member of the Gemini Neptune generation, his restless mind pushed him to explore new intellectual fields. He loved communication and the occult and was likely also fascinated by metaphysical phenomena and astrology. As a Gemini Plutonian, he was mentally restless and willing to examine and change old doctrines, ideas and ways of thinking. As a member of this generation, he showed an enormous amount of mental vitality, originality and perception. Traditional customs and taboos were examined and rejected for newer and more original ways of doing things. As opportunities with education expanded, he questioned more and learned more. As a member of this generation, having more than one occupation at a time would not have been unusual to him.

Love/sex life: His sexuality was a wonderful combination of sensuality and basic laziness. He let himself be carried along by his pleasure-seeking instincts, greeting every new experience with fresh eagerness and then slowly draining from that encounter all the joy it has to offer. This passive, easy-going approach to sex not only made for good technique, it also conceals the egocentric strength and stubbornness that was at the core of his erotic nature. People don’t realize that beneath all that luxurious hedonism he was always the person in control. He was a conservative lover for whom appearances were always important. There may have been occasions when his sensuality lured him into indiscretions but he was quick to cover his tracks and hide the evidence. The quiet practicality of his sexual nature served as a handy antidote for his Martian braggadocio. He knew that he was the best there is but he was willing to sit back and let the world find out the good news on its own. In his youth Cooper was endorsed by several female “experts” of the time (such as Clara Bow, Marlene Dietrich and Tallulah Bankhead) as Hollywood’s sexiest man. His soft spoken and manly sex appeal projected just as well on the screen. After marrying at age 32, Cooper’s sex life became somewhat more sedate though he never lost his ability to attract women.

minor asteroids and points:

North Node: Scorpio

Lilith: Scorpio

Vertex: Libra

Fortune: Capricorn

East Point: Taurus

His North Node in Scorpio dictated that he needed to be careful not to let the more emotional side of his personality overwhelm him. Instead, he should have set out to consciously develop his more practical abilities. His Lilith in Scorpio ensured that he was dangerously attracted to those women who seduced and conquered on a daily basis; who liked life intense and was judged for her sexuality and general vibe and learned early on how to deflect moral judgments. His type of women may have been tried in the court of public opinion but no way were they going to show up for the sentencing. His Vertex in Libra, 6th house dictated that he llonged for a union of souls that was based on a model of pure peace and justice. Images come to mind of a mythical life on Venus, the planet of love, where there is never a discordant beat between lovers, but rather, continual harmony even if played in the minor chords. Physical lust was certainly a necessary aspect of two beings eternally intertwined, but the platonic component far outweighed it in importance for him. He had an attitude of duty, obligation and sacrifice when it came to heartfelt interactions. The negative side was the tendency to become hypochondriacal or martyristic to get the love he so desperately wanted. There was a need for others to appreciate the sincerity of his intentions, to the daily tasks he executed in a conscientious and caring way and for others to know that his actions, no matter how routine they may seem, were based on devoted love. His Part of Fortune in Capricorn and Part of Spirit in Cancer dictated that his destiny lay in creating practical and long-lasting achievements. Success came through hard work, determination, responsibility and perseverance. Fulfillment came from observing his progress through life and seeing it take a form and structure that will outlive him. His soul’s purpose guided him towards building security in his life, both emotional and material. He felt spiritual connections and the spark of the divine within his home and family. East Point in Taurus dictated that he was more likely to identify with the need for pleasure (including the potential of liking himself) and comfort.  

elemental dominance:

earth

fire

He was a practical, reliable man and could provide structure and protection. He was oriented toward practical experience and thought in terms of doing rather than thinking, feeling, or imagining. Could be materialistic, unimaginative, and resistant to change. But at his best, he provided the practical resources, analysis, and leadership to make dreams come true. He was dynamic and passionate, with strong leadership ability. He generated enormous warmth and vibrancy. He was exciting to be around, because he was genuinely enthusiastic and usually friendly. However, he could either be harnessed into helpful energy or flame up and cause destruction. Ultimately, he chose the latter. Confident and opinionated, he was fond of declarative statements such as “I will do this” or “It’s this way.” When out of control—usually because he was bored, or hadn’t been acknowledged—he was bossy, demanding, and even tyrannical. But at his best, his confidence and vision inspired others to conquer new territory in the world, in society, and in themselves.

modality dominance:

fixed

He liked the challenge of managing existing routines with ever more efficiency, rather than starting new enterprises or finding new ways of doing things. He likely had trouble delegating duties and had a very hard time seeing other points of view; he tried to implement the human need to create stability and order in the wake of change.

house dominants:

12th

9th

8th

He had great interest in the unconscious, and indulged in a lot of hidden and secret affairs. His life was defined by seclusion and escapism. He had a certain mysticism and hidden sensitivity, as well as an intense need for privacy. Traveling, whether physically across the globe, on a mental plane or expanding through study was a major theme in his life. He was not only concerned with learning facts, but also wanted to understand the connections formed between them and the philosophies and concepts they stood for. His conscience, as well as foreign travel, people and places was also of paramount importance in his life. He loved the totality of the human experience and embraced the whole cycle of human life, including birth, sex and death. His darker side, and the complexes and emotions that he preferred to keep hidden, even from himself was a theme throughout his life. His ability to undergo deep personal transformations and spiritual regeneration was also highlighted.

planet dominants:

Venus

Saturn

Sun

He was romantic, attractive and valued beauty, had an artistic instinct, and was sociable. He had an easy ability to create close personal relationships, for better or worse, and to form business partnerships. He believed in the fact that lessons in life were sometimes harsh, that structure and foundation was a great issue in his life, and he had to be taught through through experience what he needed in order to grow. He paid attention to limitations he had and had to learn the rules of the game in this physical reality. He tended to have a practical, prudent outlook. He also likely held rigid beliefs. He had vitality and creativity, as well as a strong ego and was authoritarian and powerful. He likely had strong leadership qualities, he definitely knew who he was, and he had tremendous will. He met challenges and believed in expanding his life.

sign dominants:

Taurus

Sagittarius

Capricorn

His stubbornness and determination kept his around for the long haul on any project or endeavour. He was incredibly patient, singular in his pursuit of goals, and determined to attain what he wanted. Although he lacked versatility, he compensated for it by enduring whatever he had to in order to get what he wanted. He enjoyed being surrounded by nice things. He liked fine art and music, and may have had considerable musical ability. He also had a talent for working with his hands—gardening, woodworking, and sculpting. He sought the truth, expressed it as he saw it—and didn’t care if anyone else agreed with him. He saw the large picture of any issue and couldn’t be bothered with the mundane details. He was always outspoken and likely couldn’t understand why other people weren’t as candid. After all, what was there to hide? He loved his freedom and chafed at any restrictions. He was a serious-minded person who often seemed aloof and tightly in control of his emotions and her personal domain. Even as a youngster, there was a mature air about him, as if he was born with a profound core that few outsiders ever see. He was easily impressed by outward signs of success, but was interested less in money than in the power that money represents. He was a true worker—industrious, efficient, and disciplined. His innate common sense gave her the ability to plan ahead and to work out practical ways of approaching goals. More often than not, he succeeded at whatever he set out to do. He possessed a quiet dignity that was unmistakable.

Read more about him under the cut.

Actor Gary Cooper was born on May 7, 1901, in Helena, Montana. Spanning from the silent film era to the early 1960s, Academy Award-winning actor Gary Cooper built much of his career by playing strong, manly, distinctly American roles. The son of English parents who had settled in Montana, he was educated in England for a time. He also studied at Grinnell College in Iowa before heading to Los Angeles to work as an illustrator. When he had a hard time finding a job, Cooper worked as a film extra and landed some small parts. After his appearance in

The Winning of Barbara Worth

(1926), a western, Cooper's career began to take off. He starred opposite silent movie star Clara Bow in Children of Divorce (1927). Cooper also earned praise as the ranch foreman in

The Virginian

(1929), one of his early films with sound. Throughout the 1930s, he turned in a number of strong performances in such films as A Farewell to Arms (1934) with Helen Hayes and Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936) directed by Frank Capra. Cooper received an Academy Award nomination for his work on the film. Cooper continued to excel on the big screen, tackling several real-life dramas. In Sergeant York (1941), the played a World War I hero and sharpshooter, which was based on the life story of Alvin York. Cooper earned a Best Actor Academy Award for his portrayal of York.

The next year, Cooper played one of baseball's greats, Lou Gehrig, in The Pride of the Yankees (1942). Again, he scored another Best Actor Academy Award nomination. Appearing in a film adaptation of Ernest Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls,  Cooper starred opposite Ingrid Bergman in a drama set during the Spanish Civil War. This role garnered him a third Academy Award nomination. In 1952, Cooper took on what is known considered his signature role as Will Kane in High Noon. He appeared as a lawman who must face a deadly foe without any help from his own townspeople. The film won four Academy Awards, including a Best Actor win for Cooper. In addition to his excellent on-screen performances, Cooper became  known for his alleged romances with several of his leading ladies, including Clara Bow and Patricia Neal. The affair with Neal, his co-star in 1949's The Fountainhead, reportedly occurred during his  marriage to socialite Veronica Balfe with whom he had a daughter. Their marriage seemed to survive the scandal. By the late 1950s, Cooper's health was in decline. He made a few more films, such as Man of the West (1958), before dying of cancer on May 13, 1961. (x)

[africanamericanpeople]

29 notable African Americans who helped change the world

From activists to entertainers to record-breaking athletes to a postal worker, 6abc shines a spotlight on the contributions of 29 influential African Americans in Philadelphia and beyond as we celebrate Black History Month.

Sadie Tanner Mossell Alexander | Writer | 1898-1989

A native Philadelphian, Alexander was the first black woman to receive a Ph.D. in economics in the United States, the first black woman student to graduate with a law degree from Penn Law School, and the first African-American woman to practice law in Pennsylvania. Alexander's work and views are recorded in speeches kept in the Penn archives. The Sadie Tanner Mossell Alexander University of Pennsylvania Partnership School ("Penn Alexander") in West Philly is named after her.

Richard Allen | Minister | 1760-1831

A minister, educator and writer, this Philadelphia native founded the African Methodist Episcopal Church, the first independent black denomination in the United States. He opened the first AME church in Philly in 1794. Born into slavery, he bought his freedom in the 1780s and joined St. George's Church. Because of seating restrictions placed on blacks to be confined to the gallery, he left to form his own church. In 1787 he turned an old blacksmith shop into the first church for blacks in the United States.

Maya Angelou received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from former President Barack Obama in 2010.

Maya Angelou | Poet | 1928-2014

Angelou was an American poet, singer, memoirist, and civil rights activist with a colorful and troubling past highlighted in her most famous autobiography, "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings". She published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, several books of poetry, and is credited with a list of plays, movies and television shows spanning over 50 years. Her works have been considered a defense and celebration of black culture.

Arthur Ashe | Tennis Player | 1943-1993

Ashe's resume includes three Grand Slam titles and the title of the first black player selected to the United States Davis Cup team and the only black man ever to win the singles title at Wimbledon, the US Open, and the Australian Open. In July 1979, Ashe suffered a heart attack while holding a tennis clinic in New York. His high profile drew attention to his condition, specifically to the hereditary aspect of heart disease. In 1992, Ashe was diagnosed with HIV; he and his doctors believed he contracted the virus from blood transfusions he received during his second heart surgery. After Ashe went public with his illness, he founded the Arthur Ashe Foundation for the Defeat of AIDS, working to raise awareness about the disease and advocated teaching safe sex education. On June 20, 1993, Ashe was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Bill Clinton.

James Baldwin | American novelist | 1924-1987

Baldwin was an American novelist, playwright and activist, most notably known for "Notes of a Native Son", "The Fire Next Time" and "The Devil Find's Work". One of his novels, If Beale Street Could Talk, was adapted into an Academy Award-winning dramatic film in 2018.

"It is certain, in any case, that ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have."

U.S. Deputy Marshals escort Ruby Bridges from William Frantz Elementary School in New Orleans, La.

Ruby Bridges | Civil Rights Activist | 1954-present

At age 6, Bridges embarked on a historic walk to school as the first African American student to integrate the all-white William Frantz Elementary School in Louisiana. She ate lunch alone and sometimes played with her teacher at recess, but she never missed a day of school that year. In 1999, she established The Ruby Bridges Foundation to promote tolerance and create change through education. In 2000, she was made an honorary deputy marshal in a ceremony in Washington, DC.

Kobe Bryant | NBA star, humanitarian| 1978-2020

Drafted right out of Lower Merion High School at the age of 17, Bryant won five titles as one of the marquee players in the Los Angeles Lakers franchise. He was a member of the gold medal-winning U.S. men's basketball teams at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games and the 2012 London Olympic Games. In 2015 Bryant wrote the poem "Dear Basketball," which served as the basis for a short film of the same name he narrated. The work won an Academy Award for best animated short film. A vocal advocate for the homeless Bryant and his wife, Vanessa started the Kobe and Vanessa Bryant Family Foundation aimed to reduce the number of homeless in Los Angeles. Bryant, his daughter Gigi, and seven other passengers died in a helicopter crash in late January.

Kobe Bryant inspired a generation of basketball players worldwide with sublime skills and an unquenchable competitive fire.

Octavius V. Catto | Civil Rights Activist | 1839-1871

Known as one of the most influential civil rights' activists in Philadelphia during the 19th century, Catto fought for the abolition of slavery and the implementation of civil rights for all. He was prominent in the actions that successfully desegregated Philadelphia's public trolleys and played a major role in the ratification of the 15th amendment, baring voter discrimination on the basis of race. Catto was only 32 when he was shot and killed outside of his home on South Street in1871, the first Election Day that African Americans were allowed to vote. In 2017, a monument to Catto was unveiled at Philadelphia's City Hall.

Philly unveils first statue dedicated to African-American. Vernon Odom reports during Action News at Noon on September 26, 2017.

Bessie Coleman | Civil Aviator | 1892-1926

Coleman was the first black woman to fly an airplane. When American flying schools denied her entrance due to her race, she taught herself French and moved to France, earning her license from Caudron Brother's School in just seven months. She specialized in stunt flying and performing aerial tricks. Reading stories of World War I pilots sparked her interest in aviation.

Claudette Colvin | Civil Rights Pioneer | 1939-present

Colvin was arrested at the age of 15 for refusing to give up her seat to a white woman, nine months before Rosa Parks' more famous protest. Because of her age, the NAACP chose not to use her case to challenge segregation laws. Despite a number of personal challenges, Colvin became one of the four plaintiffs in the Browder v. Gayle case. The decision in the 1956 case ruled that Montgomery's segregated bus system was unconstitutional.

Medgar Evers | Civil Rights Activist | 1925-1963

Evers was an American civil rights activist in Mississippi, the state's field secretary for the NAACP, and a World War II veteran serving in the United States Army. After graduating from college with a BA in business administration, he worked to overturn segregation at the University of Mississippi after Brown v. Board ruled public school segregation was unconstitutional. Evers was assassinated by a white supremacist in 1963, inspiring numerous civil rights protests which sprouted countless works of art, music and film. Because of his veteran status, he was buried with full military honors at Arlington National Cemetery.

Mary Fields | Mail carrier |1832-1914

Known as "Stagecoach Mary", Fields was the first African-American to work for the U.S. postal service. Born a slave, she was freed when slavery was outlawed in 1865. At age 63, Fields was hired as a mail carrier because she was the fastest applicant to hitch a team of six horses. She never missed a day, and her reliability earned her the nickname "Stagecoach". If the snow was too deep for her horses, Fields delivered the mail on snowshoes, carrying the sacks on her shoulders.

Rudolph Fisher | Physician | 1897-1934

Fisher was an African-American physician, radiologist, novelist, short story writer, dramatist, musician, and orator. In addition to publishing scientific articles, he had a love of music. He played piano, wrote musical scores and toured with Paul Robeson, playing jazz. He wrote multiple short stories, two novels and contributed his articles to the NAACP all before his death at the age of 37.

James Forten | Abolitionist |1766-1842

Forten was an African-American abolitionist and wealthy businessman in Philadelphia. Born free in the city, he became a sailmaker after the American Revolutionary War. Following an apprenticeship, he became the foreman and bought the sail loft when his boss retired. Based on equipment he developed, he established a highly profitable business on the busy waterfront of the Delaware River, in what's now Penn's Landing. Having become well established, in his 40s Forten devoted both time and money to working for the national abolition of slavery and gaining civil rights for blacks. By the 1830s, his was one of the most powerful African-American voices in the city.

Robert Guillaume claimed the 1979 Emmy for Best Supporting Actor for his role in "Soap".

Robert Guillaume | Actor | 1927-2017

Robert was raised by his grandmother in the segregated south but moved to New York to escape racial injustice. There, he performed in theatre for 19 years, gaining momentum and a Tony nomination for his portrayal of Nathan Detroit in Guys and Dolls. In 1976, he landed his infamous role as Benson on Soap which won him an Emmy and his spin-off, Benson for which he won another Emmy. He returned to the stage in 1990, playing the role of the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera at the infamous Ahmanson Theatre. He voiced one of Disney's most beloved animated characters, Rafiki, and can still be heard as the narrator for the animated series, Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales For Every Child.

Francis Harper | poet | 1825-1911 (died in Philadelphia)

Born free in Baltimore, Harper was an abolitionist, suffragist, poet, teacher, public speaker, and writer. She helped slaves make their way along the Underground Railroad to Canada. In 1894, she co-founded the National Associated of Colored Women, an organization dedicated to highlighting extraordinary efforts and progress made by black women. She served as vice president.

Langston Hughes was instrumental figure in the Harlem Renaissance and jazz poetry.

Langston Hughes | Poet | 1902-1967

Hughes was an American poet, social activist, novelist, playwright, and columnist. Born in Missouri, he moved to New York at an early age becoming one of the earliest innovators of a new art form, jazz poetry. In the early 1920's, his first book of poetry was published and he wrote an in-depth weekly column for The Chicago Defender, highlighting the civil rights movement. His ashes are interred beneath a floor medallion in the middle of the foyer in the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture in Harlem, the entrance to an auditorium named for him.

Zora Neale Hurston | American author | 1891-1960

Hurston became an American author, anthropologist, and filmmaker but as a child she was unable to attend school after her father stopped paying her school fees. In 1917 she opted to attend a public school but had to lie about her age in order to qualify for a free education. She studied hoodoo, the American version of voodoo, and found her way to Hollywood by working as a story consultant. One of her most notable works, Their Eyes Were Watching God was turned into a film in 2005.

Nipsey Hussle | Rapper, entrepreneur | 1985-2019

Born Ermias Joseph Asghedom, Hussle, was an American activist, entrepreneur, and Grammy Award winning rapper. Raised in South Central, he joined gangs to survive before eventually attaining success in the music industry. Hussle focused on "giving solutions and inspiration" to young black men like him, denouncing gun violence through his music, influence and community work, while speaking openly about his experiences with gang culture. Hussle was shot and killed a day before he was to meet with LAPD officials to address gang violence in South Los Angeles.

If you stop and look around near the intersection of Grand and Ellita Avenues, a brightly-colored mural of Grammy-nominated rapper Nipsey Hussle is sure to catch your eye.

Harriet Jacobs | Writer | 1813-1897

Born a slave, her mother died when she was 6. She moved in with her late mother's slave owner who taught her to sew and read. In 1842 she got a chance to escape to Philadelphia, aided by activists of the Philadelphia Vigilance Committee. She took it and worked as a nanny in New York. Her former owners hunted for her until her freedom was finally bought in 1852. She secretly began to write an autobiography which was published in the U.S. in 1860 and England in 1861. She lived the rest of her life as an abolitionist, dedicated to helping escaped slaves and eventually freedmen.

Cecil B. Moore | Lawyer |1915-1979

Moore was a Philadelphia lawyer and civil rights activist who led the fight to and successfully integrate Girard College. He served as a marine in WWII and after his honorary discharge, he moved to Philadelphia to study law at Temple University. He quickly earned a reputation as a no-nonsense lawyer who fought on behalf of his mostly poor, African-American clients concentrated in North Philadelphia. From 1963 to 1967, he served as president of the Philadelphia chapter of the NAACP and served on the Philadelphia City Council. Moore is cited as a pivotal figure in the fields of social justice and race relations. He has an entire neighborhood named after him in the North Philadelphia area.

Bayard Rustin | Civil Rights Activist | 1912-1987 (Born in West Chester, PA)

Bayard Rustin was an American leader in social movements for civil rights, socialism, nonviolence, and gay rights. He was a key adviser to Martin Luther King Jr. in the 1960s and was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2013. Rustin has local ties as he was born in West Chester and attended Cheney University of Pennsylvania, a historically black college. A gay man, he adopted his partner to protect their rights and legacy.

Nina Simone | Musician | 1933-2003

Born Eunice Waymon in Troy North Carolina, Simone was an American singer, songwriter, musician, arranger, and civil rights activist. Her music crossed all genres from classical, jazz, blues and folk to R&B, gospel, and pop. She learned to play the piano as a toddler and played in church where her father was a preacher. She would cross tracks to the white side of town to study classical piano with a German teacher and was later accepted into The Juilliard School. She went on to record more than 40 albums and in 2003 just days before her death, the Curtis Institute awarded her an honorary degree.

Big Mama Thornton | Singer | 1926-1984

Thornton is best known for her gutsy 1952 R&B recording of "Hound Dog," later covered by Elvis Presley, and her original song "Ball and Chain," made famous by Janis Joplin. Affectionately called "Big Mama" for both her size and her powerful voice, she grew up singing in church and eventually caught the ear of an Atlanta music promoter while cleaning and subbing for the regular singer at a saloon. An openly gay woman, she joined the Hot Harlem Revue and danced and sang her way through the southeastern United States. She played at the Cotton Club and the Apollo Theatre and continued performing sporadically into the late 70's.

Sojourner Truth | Abolitionist |1797-1883

Truth was born into slavery but escaped with her infant daughter to freedom in 1826. She then sued and won the return of her 5-year-old son who was illegally sold into slavery. In 1851, Truth began a lecture tour that included a women's rights conference where she delivered her famous "Ain't I a Woman?" speech, challenging prevailing notions of racial and gender inferiority and inequality. She collected thousands of signatures petitioning to provide former slaves with land.

Denmark Vesey | Carpenter | 1767-1822

Vesey was born a slave but won a lottery which allowed him to purchase his freedom. Unable to buy his wife and children their freedom, he became active in the church. In 1816, he became one of the founders of an independent African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church and recruited more 1,800 members to become the second largest "Bethel Circuit" church in the country after Mother Bethel in Philadelphia. In 1822, Vesey was alleged to be the leader of a planned slave revolt. He and five others were rapidly found guilty and executed.

Muddy Waters | Singer | 1913-1983

An American blues singer-songwriter and musician who is often lauded as the "father of modern Chicago blues", Waters grew up on a plantation in Mississippi and by the age of 17 was playing the guitar and the harmonica. In 1941, he moved to Chicago to become a fulltime musician, working in a factory by day and performing at night. In 1958, he toured in England, reviving the interest of Blues and introducing the sound of the electric slide guitar playing there. His performance at the Newport Jazz Festival in 1960 was recorded and released as his first live album, At Newport 1960. In 1972, he won his first Grammy Award for "They Call Me Muddy Waters", and another in 1975 for "The Muddy Waters Woodstock Album".

Phillis Wheatley| Poet |1753-1784

Born in West Africa and sold into slavery, she learned to read and write by the age of 9 and became the first African American woman to publish a book of poetry. In addition to having to prove she had indeed written the poetry, no one in America would publish her work. She was forced to go to England where the pieces were published in London in 1773. Years later, she sent one of her poems to George Washington who requested and received a meeting with her at his headquarters in Cambridge in 1776.

Serena Williams is arguably the greatest women's tennis player of all time, with 73 singles titles and an overall record of 831-142.

Serena Jameka Williams |Tennis Player |1981-present

Williams emerged straight outta the streets of Compton to become the world's No. 1 player. She has won 23 major singles titles, the most by any man or woman in the Open Era. The Women's Tennis Association ranked her world No. 1 in singles on eight separate occasions between 2002 and 2017. She has competed at three Olympics and won four gold medals.

[sharp-teeth-and-archived]

TW: Talk of trauma, talk of violence, talk of trauma, and the effects of it, talk of ptsd. 

        I have mentioned in both my replies & headcanons on Sean before that he does experience trauma after the encounter with the bounty hunters. A lot of it was mostly focused on his flight, fight, or freeze reaction to bounty hunters (he does his best to avoid bounty hunters and get cautious when he’s on the road by himself and a fellow passes by him on a horse or a jail wagon), his insomnia & sleeping patterns & how alcohol was involved. He does experience nightmares and night terrors and often gets scared that when everyone is asleep in camp, a bounty hunter will come out of the woodwork and snatch him up. Nobody would be able to stop them, his cries wouldn’t be enough, that sort of thing. Oftentimes, he drinks until he passes out because then he might be able to get some decent shut-eye. How his poor sleeping patterns lead to him sleeping and taking those naps on guard duty.

        But when I was talking to @nckviathn​, we were talking about rdo and I mentioned that Sean sounds ooc to me in his rdo dialogue (not his opening cutscene, the first meeting, but when he’s giving out jobs). Etain brought up that perhaps his personality changed a bit after Blackwater and that incident, which changed my mindset on what I previously thought. From his input, he also mentioned how protective Sean was of Mary-Beth during the stagecoach job with Arthur. I looked more into how personality is affected and overall trauma & ptsd, so I decided to include some of that into my portrayal of Sean. So far, this is what I have included from how Sean was pre-Blackwater & how his trauma affects him overall.

        I have done research on trauma & ptsd but I do not have either of those personally, so what I said could be poorly worded, or unfactual. Please let me know if anything I said is wrong or anything that is not correctly portrayed. I know everyone is affected differently by trauma and ptsd, but I still wanted to note that. If I get anything wrong, please let me know.

        From Sean’s own words, when he was with the bounty hunters he dealt with having his feet burnt, his teeth pulled, being beaten, and being hung upside down (like we see). These are still true for my portrayal of Sean, but I do think he received other side effects (I don’t know if that’s the best way to word it) than just physical.

        I don’t see Sean as being bloodthirsty or having his morals completely twisted before he got taken into the bounty hunters. To me, Sean always dictated his actions by who deserved it or not (this ideology can still be screwy since I can still see Sean benign overall mischievous and saying a man deserved to be pick-pocketed by Sean because he believes the man was too stupid to notice Sean’s manipulative tactics. Basically a: “He deserved it!” scenario for Sean). Sean will rob rich folks who are corrupted, kill people who committed horrible acts (If Micah wasn’t involved in the gang I’m sure Sean would’ve willingly gone after him and dealt his own form of justice). Same as this, Sean has always been a reckless fellow. His trauma after the bounty hunters did not change this directly, but I can see it being a bit lessened. In rdr2’s timeline, after Blackwater, Sean has been more cautious with his robberies and actions. He will still manipulate someone and steal off them, he still finds enjoyment in chaos, but he finds more comfort in planned robberies and overall organization and a plan set in mind.  Last-minute changes can be a stressor for Sean, he can adapt but he will be scared and agitated when a plan goes off the deep end.

        Sean can still work with off the cuff stuff, like if something derails he will do anything in his power to take control of the situation and work with it, but if something is unplanned from the start: he starts to feel a bit uneasy. In Blackwater, Sean was taken by surprise when the bounty hunters knocked him out, so that same fear arises whenever a robbery or any extreme action doesn’t have a plan set in place. Sean has a large fear of being taken in by a bounty hunter and the implication of torture. Sitting in a jail cell wouldn’t bother Sean as much as if some bounty hunter came up to him and decided to transport him to federal prison (or interrogate him about the gang). Even Pinkertons and Milton’s methods scare him to a degree. Basically, having a solid foundation ahead of time makes it way easier for Sean to be at ease and not have the hairs on the back of his neck spring up.

        After Blackwater, Sean has been more cautious, like I said, but that cautious also leads to Sean being more alert and on edge. If Sean crosses a bounty hunter, he typically will refrain from robbing them or go through what he was planning because he feels an inner sense of fear benign around a bounty hunter. It reminds him of his capture and having anything close to that can bring a lot of anxiety. Etain mentioned Sean’s over-protectiveness of Mary-Beth and I see this having a role in it as well. He mentioned that his concern over her and her well-being was a reflection of his trauma. He wouldn't want her to be caught off guard or have a chance of her being swept up in what Sean got. If she was to get caught off guard, harmed, or anything of the sort -- having him being the reason for it and how far he was from her, it was something he worried over. He didn’t want her to deal with what he did. I have to mention too, in my portrayal, Sean sees the gang as a family. He wouldn’t want to see her, Arthur or anyone else from the gang hurt (except Micah and perhaps Strauss). I guess I see Sean having a sort of older brother bond with her? I can just see him being very protective of her overall.

        Sean’s trauma doesn’t restrict him from leaving camp. Sean can feel suffocated being in camp for so long that taking a trip away can feel like a breath of fresh air, but after Blackwater, this tends to be a rare activity. Sean will and can go out to town, scout out leads, and whatnot on his lonesome, but like seen in rdo, Sean will likely not set up in a cabin somewhere on his own. Even though he has the fear of someone taking him in the middle of the night, he finds more comfort surrounded by people than being on his own. If he’s camping somewhere or setting up in a vacant home, he has to have at least one other person around him to feel less tense. This fear ties back to Sean being taken away and nobody noticing. His mind warns him that next time he might not be as lucky as he was the first. Sean is still brave, ambitious, and willing to do things on his own, but he wasn’t as carefree about leaving camp, being without the gang for so long like we see in rdo (1898, pre-Blackwater). 

        A common misconception with ptsd is that a person will become violent or easily angered, this often can cause a stigma with ptsd and make it harder for someone to understand since someone might become fearful of a person with ptsd. Yes, anger can deprive from ptsd and trauma, but I wanted to say with Sean: before & after Blackwater, his anger wasn’t affected. The only thing close to it is his agitation, fear, and his scared feeling when there’s a last-minute change or when a plan derails and falls through. Sean’s temper (mostly towards Micah, Kieran, Scots, English) was always something he dealt with. In terms of Kieran, his anger was a cause of the whole feud between Dutch & Colm, he still believed Kieran was an O’Driscoll and he believed he was stronger, tougher than Kieran, which led to his bullying. His ideology of Irish politics and towards Scots & English was from his father, his beliefs were passed onto him. His father was big in politics and had a strong opinion of it, which meant that passion passed onto Sean. 

        As a long TLDR: Sean’s personality changed from the events after Blackwater by his alertness, his anxiety, he tends to stick close to people, he is more cautious in his planning and doing of things. He’s more alert & anxious. He’s protective over Mary-Beth during the stagecoach mission because he doesn’t want her to get the same thing he went through, and he doesn’t want to see any harm towards her (he’s far away to where he has less control of the situation). 

        I hope this at least made some sense here. A lot of it is hard for me to put into words, but I hope at least this was mildly interesting and gave a better perspective of my portrayal of Sean?

[thelazycranch]

The Lazy C Ranch is Private Events Venue in Palm Springs, CA 92262

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The Lazy C Ranch is the perfect lodging place for private events with friends and family. We have an outdoor wedding venue if you want to celebrate your ranch wedding. We also have a beautiful petting zoo for you to enjoy.

Your event will be a memorable affair amidst the beauty of Southern California. We look forward to hearing from you! Call us today at The Lazy C Ranch and set an appointment.

[fvaleraye]

Unexpected Reunions

ayyyyyy, another Scintillam chapter! This time, we introduce another of our protags, who happens to be a uh... old friend of Leona’s. whom she bumps into again in one of ur typical fantasy towns after a few months apart ASDFLKJN oh yeah, and we also finally get to learn the name of the continent they’re on, so there’s that too-

hope y’all enjoy reading  ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

The road was long, most were. Magna Terra was not exactly a small continent. There were often miles upon miles between towns. So much space spanning the entirety of the continent, and most of it was empty. There were only so many people who lived there, they only needed so much of the space. They would expand their towns at times, yes, but rarely would they need to go out and make new ones. Though, it would probably make travel easier if they did. A few of the more industrious cities, however, name the Iron City and the Bronze City, have started to make an effort to make such things easier, by placing little checkpoints and resting stops for stagecoaches and carriages along the main roads and trade routes. Though that project was still in its very early stages. And carriages were generally not available to the general public yet, as most of your average people had little reason to travel so far.

For adventurers however, who traveled near and far for a living, it was a colossal pain the ass.

Leona bemoaned not having the funds for the stagecoach to the next town. She would have, if she were travelling alone, but carrying Great Beasts incurred a rather exorbitant extra fee depending on the size of them. Which... was sort of understandable, given that one person and a Great Wolf would leave no room for other passengers, but she still felt cheated. At least she had Artemis to carry her some of the distance, but both of them would have preferred at least a short rest for their weary legs. They had left the Great Forests behind them hours ago, and had stepped out into the Great Plains, the most open natural expanse in the land. The sun shined brightly down on the ocean of grass, while the winds stirring the expansive greenery, not a tree in front of them for miles. But the nearest town was thankfully within reach. Maybe not within sight, but within reach. They would ideally reach it before they both passed out from exhaustion. The human was much closer to that point than her animal companion. Great Beasts typically had amazing stamina. Their pace was slow, but steady. Better to keep up a slow pace and get to the destination later than to try and rush there and risk passing out before you can get there. The exhausted knight started to perk up a bit as the first roof came into view over the horizon.

"Oh thank whatever gods are listening, there's Springford..." She said, sounding as tired as she felt. "Oooooh I can't wait to get into a real fucking bed, good gods..." She leaned over, and gave her great steed a big hug, burying her face in her fur. "... not that you aren't comfy, Arte, but... just... bed..."

The wolf just gave a little huff. It wasn't obvious if it was one of agreement, but if one knew about her track record of breaking beds she tried to sleep on, they could probably make a guess. She was still just as eager for some rest, though.

As the two started getting closer to the town, it was easy to tell that it wasn't exactly a big town. It was barely big enough to be considered a town, honestly. It was small, and they could see it in its entirety from the little hill they were coming down from. Most of the buildings were houses, there were some shops and a single inn on the edges of the town, all of wooden construction, with some of the bigger buildings having stone foundations, and one could see a few farms not far, fenced roads leading back and forth between them. A sign on one of the crossroads leading up to the town pointed to the east, with the sign reading "lake". That was probably where they got most of their their water, and most likely some fish. There was also a well in the town square, as well. It reminded the knight of her old childhood village, to be quite honest. The only things missing were the trees in every direction and the old runestones. ... she missed that old village... She missed a lot of things. But, for now, they were at their stop. The Outlands were another week's journey from here, so they had to rest, resupply, and gear up while they could. They would stay for a day or two... or three.

The duo approached the inn first, of course. It was a sizable building, and it had a fair bit more stone construction than most of the other buildings, but it was still primarily wood. A sign over the door, swaying and creaking gently in the wind, read "The Mossy Stone Inn". Not the most creative name, but they had seen worse. Leona stepped down from Artemis' back, and gave her a few pats on the head and scratches behind the ear. "You stay out here, I'll get us set up, yeah?" She gave her a little smooch on the nose, prompting the wolf to let out a sneeze. "Be right back."

She pushed the doors open and stepped inside, chainmail clinking against iron plate meshing with wood creaking as she strode to the bar. She quickly got herself seated, giving the bartender a small glance, prompting him to come over.

"What can I getcha?" He said, his voice mild, if a bit gravely.

"Is the innkeeper... uh, in?"

"Oh, she's out of town, I'm taking care of the inn stuff right now."

"Ah, okay." She gave a small sigh, before reaching into her pockets. "You got an empty room...?"

"A couple, actually." He replied, giving a welcoming little smile.

She glanced around for a moment, before letting out another sigh, and drawing her gaze back to the bartender. "... do you take Great Wolves?"

There was a bit of a silence, as he stared at her, then at the stairs leading up to the rooms, and then back to her. Eventually, an answer came. "... how big's it?"

She pointed at the window behind her, where the animal in question was clearly visible.

He just let out a sigh. "... s'long as it doesn't break anythin', it can come in."

"I promise she'll be on her best behavior."

He grabbed a glass, and poured a bit of... what was probably rum into it, before sliding it over to a patron at the far end of the counter. "Thirty gold per night."

"... that's a little steep isn't it...?"

"We charge extra for animals."

"... that's fair. I guess." She gave one last sigh, and stepped back out of the inn. She gave a glare behind her as the door shut. "... who doesn't charge extra for animals..." She took the wolf by her snout for a moment, gently pulling her head down to eye level. "Okay Arte, you need to be on your best behavior, okay? If you break anything, I'm gonna get in trouble." A small grimace came across her face. "... so, no sleeping on the bed."

Artemis just nodded. She knew the drill by now. She was a smart wolf.

"Okay, good girl..." She let out a tired huff. "Lets go take a fucking nap..."

---------------------------------------------------------------

The girls stayed in their room for a good few hours, enough that the afternoon had nearly passed, and the sun was beginning to set over the fields. It wasn't the comfiest bed she had ever slept in, but it was better than another night camping. As much as she felt at home camping in the woods, a warm bed, clean sheets, and soft blankets were still greatly appreciated every once in a while. The Great Wolf couldn't really share the sentiment, as the forests were quite literally her home, she did seem to prefer the warmth of an inn after long treks like this. Leona pushed herself out of her bed, giving a sleepy glance around the room as she tried to finish waking up from her nap. She let out a big yawn, running a hand through her messy bedhead. Her eyes eventually fell on the door. "... need to... get some food n'... water... n' other shit for the rest of the trip, before this fuckin'... inn... bleeds me fuckin' dry..." She mumbled, taking a moment to step into the bathroom and splash a little bit of water on her face. Just needed to wake herself up a bit more. Her companion was still sleeping soundly on the floor. She would leave her be for now. If either of them got into any trouble, the other would be able to tell. Benefits of the special little bond they shared. She stepped out of the room, dressed a little more casually than when she came in. Just a normal brown cotton shirt, some baggy pants, and a pair of boots. The bartender gave her a small glance as she came down the stairs.

"... look like you just crawled outta bed." He observed, currently cleaning a glass.

"I did." She replied, giving him a tired glare. She just stepped out into the town, wincing as the setting sun beating down harshly on her tired eyes. She started to glance around the town, looking for a sign or... something that would point her in the direction of the nearest shop. As she did though, her gaze caught something... unusual, on the roof of the inn. There was a person sitting on top of the roof. Writing in a journal. She squinted at them from the ground, trying to get a better look at them. Something in her clicked as she looked at them. "... 's that who I think it is...?" She mumbled, before going around the back of the inn. There weren't necessarily stairs up there, but apparently whoever was up there brought a ladder. Helpful. She slowly climbed up, one hand over the other, and, once she found her balance on the roof, walked over to the front of the roof where the other person was. She sat down next to them, legs dangling over the side, and gave them a small tap on the shoulder. It made them jump, and let out a little squeak, nearly fumbling their journal over the edge in their surprise.

"... is that you, Velda?" The knight asked, her expression showing hints of confusion, and pleasant surprise.

"... Leona...?" She replied, quietly, shakily setting down her journal. She was quite pale, and had an athletic, lithe build, black hair mostly tied up in a blue bandanna covering most of her head, her bangs spilling out the front, and a braided ponytail coming out the back. She had a small pair of glasses on her face, covering eyes that were a deep blue, and... strangely slitted. She fidgeted with the bottom of her tunic, which was blue and embroidered with white silk in so many intricate patterns, mostly flowers, with her sleeves tied up just above her elbows. Black gloves went up to her shoulders. She also had a pair of tall, knee height brown boots, and black shorts that ended just above her knees. She had a quiver at her hip, and a lovingly carved bow over her shoulder.

"Yeah!" She took the other girls hand, and gave a wide smile. "Oh man, Velda, it's been so long! How've you been???"

Velda shrank a bit under Leaon's enthusiasm. "O-oh, y'know... a-around." She said, her tone quiet and sheepish.

Without another moment's hesitation, she wrapped her arms around her in a great big embrace, making the other look, and feel, rather small and... twig-like, compared to her knightly build. She tensed up in the hug, but didn't make any moves to actually dissuade her from continuing. After a moment, she released her, and gave her a good look over. "You look great! Where'd you get those clothes? They look pretty, and... eeeellllvish...?"

"Y-yeah, they're elvish clothes." She replied, starting to straighten out said clothes, now that they were a bit ruffled from the hug. "It's. Very comfortable."

"I bet!" She let out a sigh, and leaned back onto the roof, setting her hands behind her head. She briefly patted the roof, inviting the other to lay down as well. She did so, after a moment. "How've you been?"

"Okay. You?"

"Could be better, just got done with the week long walk here from Rosevale, gonna make the next week long walk to Crystalbarrow..."

"... that's a lot of walking."

She gave a little laugh. "... and you still don't do a lot of talking."

"... I'm sorry..." She mumbled, meekly. “I-I haven’t talked to anybody in a... a-a bit...”

"N-no! It's fine! You talk however much or however little you need to!" Silence settled for a moment, the sounds of the townsfolk going about their evenings being the only things breaking it. Even the wind had quieted down to a whisper. The knight was the first to officially break it, of course. "... so was I right? Are you an elf?"

The answer didn't come for a few moments, but it did come. "... no." She took a slow, deep breath, and let out an equally deep sigh. "Checked with the elven scholars a few weeks ago, and there's... no records of any kind of elf that's really. Like me. A-and they said that I don't have the... the same kind of... spark... as an elf... so I... c-can't be one..." She slowly took the bandanna from her head, letting her hair flow out, and her... rather pointed ears show. "So... back to square one." She gave another sigh, before glancing over at the other. "... at least they gave me these clothes... that was nice of them..."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, V."

"... yeah..."

Silence fell over the roof again. Leona's eyes turned towards the sky, while Velda's were fixed firmly on her own fidgeting hands. Surprisingly, the archer was the one to break the silence this time.

"... h-hey, Leona...?"

"... hm?"

She opened her mouth to speak, showing of the little fangs that lined it, but it took a few moments for anything to come out. "... are... a-are we still... g-good...?"

There wasn't an answer, at first. She took her eyes off the sky, and turned them to the other. She fidgeted and shrank her her gaze, but she returned it, anxious as it may be. Then she gave a soft smile, slowly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and gently pulled her closer. "... yeah..." She said, her tone soft. Content. "... I think we're good..."

The archer was tense at first, of course, but she quickly loosened up a bit, and curled up closer to the knight. She wrapped her arms around her, and the other pulled her closer with her other free arm in return. "... I'm sorry I didn't go with you before..."

"It's okay... you had your own stuff to deal with."

"... I'm... I'm uh... actually headed to the Outlands, and... C-crystalbarrow is uh... a-actually on the way to where I'm headed..."

"Oh? Where you going?"

"... a-a cave, that uh... I've heard. M-might. Have some stuff that could help me find the information I'm looking for."

"I see... we'll, I'm just heading to Crystalbarrow to talk to an old friend of my dad's. I can go with you into this cave, if you want."

"... thank you..."

"Hey, it's no problem."

The two laid there on the roof, eyes on the darkening skies, or each other. It had been quite a while since they were like this. So close. Together. After a moment, Leona decided to speak up again. "Hey, I uh... I got a room in this inn. Only one bed, but... it's. Uh. Got room." She started to blush more and more as she went on. "And I'm sure you can get in the window, with your ladder."

"... you wanna cheat the innkeeper by sneaking me into your room instead of paying for another person?"

"He's the one cheating me with his prices." She retorted, giving a huff. "And I don't wanna cheat anybody, I just want to spend the night with you, and... um. Y'know."

"...?"

"You know."

"Mmmmmm...?"

"I-I just want you in my b-bed with me, okay? I... I haven't seen you in. M-months. I missed you. Okay?"

Velda considered her words for a moment, a sly little smile on her face, but no less blush. "... I think that sounds nice..."

The two smiled, and the knight scooped the archer up in her arms, giving her a little smooch on the cheek, and... started to. Scooch towards the edge???

"I- wh- Leona what are you doing???"

"Uuuuuh, getting down...?"

"You're going to break your fucking legs, take the ladder you maniac-"

"It's not that tall!"

"LADDER."

"Okay! Fine! Jeez!" With a disgruntled huff, she stood up, girl still firmly in her arms, and started to walk back towards the ladder. Why she thought it would be a good idea to jump from the roof of the inn was anybody's guess. Probably a heat of the moment thing. She set her down when they were by the ladder, and she climbed down to the bottom, while her new guest climbed through the window into her room. She probably would have climbed in with her, but the window was just a smidgen to small for her. She didn't want to get stuck. That would be really awkward. She made her way back to her room rather quickly, not even bothering giving the innkeeper the time of day as she passed by again. By the time she got back, her new guest was busy petting Artemis, who had evidently woken up while she was gone.

"-you are! You're the best girl Arte, yes you are!" She said, in a baby-talk voice, giving her all sorts of pets and scritches. Artemis was clearly not amused by the baby-talk, but she was letting her have her fun.

She just gave a small laugh at the sight. "I see you and Arte still get along great."

"Yeah! I-I'm glad we do! Arte's the only... the only animal wh-who uh... y'know... likes me..."

She gave a sigh in response to the last statement, and nodded. Yeah, for whatever reason, Velda was just... never big with animals. They usually avoided her altogether, some even growled at her, even if they were perfectly tame. The only ones that really liked her were Great Beasts. They assumed it was because of her... weird spark.

She stood up after a moment, giving the wolf one more little pat as she did, and flopped right onto the bed. "This is a nice room."

"Yeah, not worth thirty gold a night though."

Her expression shifted to a shocked grimace. "Oh- really? Thirty gold??? I mean, it might be worth... like, fifty silver a night, but thirty gold??? Jeez..."

"Yyyyyyyep."

"I suddenly no longer feel guilt for sneaking in here." She said, with a smirk.

"Good." She replied, with a little chuckle. She stepped over to the bed, and laid down next to the other. There we go.

"... it's been a bit since we've been in a bed together, huh..." She had a certain... tone, to her voice.

"Yeah, it really has..." She didn't seem to notice the others. Tone. Or pretended she didn't.

"... soooooo..." She slid closer, getting her slender arms around the knight. Her knight. "What were you thinkin' when you said you wanted me in your bed...?"

"I j-just wanted to. Y'know. Cuddle, V."

"Suuuuurrrrrrrre..."

"Why does your head need to be in the gutter."

"I think a better question is, why isn't yours~? It’s pretty fun in the gutter~"

Before another word could be spoken, Leona just. Quickly rolled right off the side of the bed and into the floor with a dull thud. Well then. "Ow- fuck-"

Velda snickered as she sat up and looked at her from the edge of the bed, sprawled out on the floor. Eventually she burst into a little fit of giggles, taking a moment to rein it in so she could speak again. "C-calm down Le, I'm just fucking with you."

"pLEASE DON'T WORD IT LIKE THAT-"

She just started to snicker again. "C-c'mon Leona, like you said when we first got together, what is a girlfriend if not someone to tease mercilessly~?"

“I never teased you that hard-” She let out a small groan as she started to sit up, face still red as a beet. "Why do you gotta be like this?"

"... only with you, Le." She said, smiling. And blushing. "Only got the nerve to be like this with you. Because I'm comfortable around you. I've known you for... ever. And. I love you."

"... I love you too, V."

"Now!" She flopped back onto her back, rolled over to the side of the bed she was on before, and patted it. "Get back up here, and we can catch up. I'm sure we've both been up to a lot since we last talked... and I promise I won't make you throw yourself from the bed again."

"You better not." With a sigh, she got to her feet, and back onto the bed. There wasn't a whole lot of room. But there was enough for the two of them. "... gonna get you back for that..."

"Sure you w-will...”

“... sooooo... you first, what've you been up to? Besides the elf thing?"

"... well..."

[ultraheydudemestuff]

Cleveland Lakefront State Park

8701 Lakeshore Blvd

Cleveland, Ohio 44108

In the heart of one of Ohio's largest cities, Cleveland Lakefront State Park provides natural relief to the metropolitan skyline. Sand beaches, tree-lined picnic areas and panoramic views of the lake are found within the park along the Lake Erie shoreline. Ohio has been truly blessed by the presence of Lake Erie on its northern border. Lake Erie is one of the largest bodies of freshwater in the world. When considering nearly 99% of the world's water supply is either frozen or saltwater, the Great Lakes are a tremendous resource most Ohioans take for granted. Lake Erie is shallow allowing for violent storms with high waves. The lake is divided into three basins: west, central and eastern. The west is most shallow at 25 to 30 feet average depth. The central basin, wherein lies Cleveland Lakefront State Park, has an average depth of 61 feet. The eastern basin is deepest at 210 feet average depth.

Lake Erie, because of its higher nutrient levels and warmer temperatures, produces greater numbers and varieties of fish than any other great lake. The annual Erie fish catch nearly equals the combined catches of all the other great lakes. Dominant species are perch, smallmouth and white bass, channel catfish, walleye and freshwater drum. Sand beaches are scattered along the main shoreline. Coastal plants such as sand cherry, beach grass, beach pea and others are rare in this urban environment. Common trees include cottonwood, willow and ash with vines of wild grape, Virginia creeper, bittersweet and poison ivy among the branches.

The first pioneer settlers arrived in the area in 1796. In 1827, the Ohio Canal was completed as far south as Akron, and by 1832, it was in operation from Lake Erie to the Ohio River resulting in great prosperity and a rapid population increase for Cleveland. Cleveland was a noted center of the stagecoach lines between the East, West and South until the railroads came about 1850 replacing the stagelines. When the Cleveland and Mahoning Valley Railroad was completed, it extended into that valley's great coal fields laying the foundation for Cleveland as an industrial giant. With the availability of coal and iron ore, great iron furnaces and rolling mills soon lined the banks of the Cuyahoga River.

As early as 1865, lands were set aside in Cleveland to be developed as recreation areas. In 1977, the city of Cleveland leased its four lakefront parks to the state of Ohio. The four parks became Cleveland Lakefront State Park in 1978. In 1982, the Euclid Beach area was added to the state park property. The Villa Angela area consisted of two separate land purchases. The first 30 acres was bought by the city of Cleveland and turned over to the state in 1984. ODNR and the Cleveland Public Library purchased the remaining 13 acres in May 1991. While each area appears to be a separate park, they are administered through a single park office located at Gordon Park.

[latenightcinephile]

#733: ‘Johnny Guitar’, dir. Nicholas Ray, 1954.

How refreshing to find a film on the list at the moment that I came away from thinking ‘That was a genuinely good film!’ The list conflates ‘entertaining’ and ‘important’ so much that when I remember how entertaining some of the films actually are I get a surge of energy to continue watching. Johnny Guitar is one of those films, but it’s also a weird film in some ways, which makes it even more endearing to me. Perhaps one of the more unusual aspects of it is that it was directed by Nicholas Ray, who is far more closely aligned in popular memory with more serious and less generic films, like Rebel without a Cause. Here, he demonstrates that his commitment to popular cinema was a foundation of his work and not something that was arbitrarily connected to one of his more serious films.

It should be remembered throughout the film that Johnny Guitar is pretty hokey and artificial in many ways. Most extreme is the use of the Trucolor film processing system, which was definitely inaptly named. The process lends the colours of the film a garish contrast, as though the skin tones have faded and the primary colours exaggerated. Ray further exaggerates this contrast by frequently dressing Joan Crawford (as Vienna) in bold reds and lemon yellows. While these colours are almost off-puttingly striking, they do succeed in drawing attention to Vienna and giving her a kind of visual appeal lacking in many of the other costumes (only Ben Cooper as Turkey Ralston, the young gunslinger, gets a similar treatment).

The stagey colours and obvious differences between location shooting and soundstage shooting make the film an exercise in suspension of disbelief, but I found that this improved the appeal of the film as a viewing experience - if it were intended as a thoughtful piece of cinema I might be less positive about these technical quirks. I think that Ray might have intended the film to be a thoughtful commentary in some ways - Roger Ebert and others have somewhat persuasively interpreted the film as a commentary on the McCarthy-era Hollywood witchhunts - but if this is the case it’s good that Ray elected to use a generic type of setting to play that metaphor out in, rather than, say, a more contemporary setting where the metaphor might have become too heavy and obvious.

Instead, what we get is a Western filled with locations and events that border on the fantastic, and a regularly innovative plot that relies heavily on Crawford’s star persona. Crawford plays Vienna as a woman who has been burned by men too much to throw her lot in entirely with any one of them. Her reputation is as the owner of a gambling saloon (and presumed brothel), outside the limits of the nearby trading town. Her success, crowned by the impending development of a railroad nearby to draw in even more paying customers, draws the ire of Emma Small (Mercedes McCambridge). Small seems to be driven by nothing in particular - the closest the film comes to explaining her angst is that The Dancin’ Kid, a local gunslinger, used to be with Vienna and is now making moves on Emma that she is both receptive to and afraid of. McCambridge here is enthralling as Emma Small, and acts as one of the most compelling pieces of evidence that the film is an allegory for the McCarthy era. McCambridge conveys the kind of pagan zeal of a character from the Crucible, nakedly demanding that others persecute and incriminate Vienna. Her actions are brazen and transparently malevolent, and it speaks to the theme of moral decay that pervades these films that the men of the town bow so rapidly to Small’s demands.

Into this mix come both The Dancin’ Kid and Johnny Guitar (Sterling Hayden), a former gunslinger and another of Vienna’s former beaus, who become entangled in the town’s attempts to drive Vienna out. The main trouble is that Vienna’s reputation and the frenzied hatred of Emma Small makes it impossible for her to plausibly claim her innocence in any of the film’s events - Vienna withdraws her money from the town’s bank at the same time as the Kid and his associates rob it. The Kid’s soft spot for Vienna means he leaves her with her withdrawal, but this simply gives Emma more ammunition in claiming that Vienna must have been a conspirator.

One thing I particularly enjoyed about Johnny Guitar is how inaccurately named it is. From the opening shot of Johnny riding into town, he barely seems to interact with the mechanisms of the plot at all. He refuses to intervene in the film’s inciting incident, a stagecoach robbery, and makes a strong point early on in the film of his refusal to carry a gun. Narratively, the film clearly intends to tell a story of a man’s attempts not to take sides, before he learns the necessity of doing so when Vienna’s life is threatened. By that point in the film, though, Crawford’s insistent power has commandeered the direction of the plot. Johnny becomes Vienna’s helpful sidekick for most of the second half, a himbo that I realised only when rewatching has inspired at least one charismatic D&D paladin of mine.

Eventually, the film admits that its hero is lacking: the final gunfight of the film slowly whittles its core cast down as infighting and surrenders mean it eventually comes down to Vienna and Emma. This in itself feels brilliant; a rare opportunity for the traditional showdown to take place between people usually relegated to the sidelines is fascinating. The men of the town explicitly acknowledge the importance of this, too - the leader of the posse goaded to take down Vienna calls his men back, saying “It’s their fight; has been all along.”

Despite the hokiness of this final fight, and the way it takes place in a wide open valley somehow only accessible via a passageway behind a waterfall, and the persuasive sound of Peggy Lee singing about a man who has done very little of plot relevance (great song, though), it still somehow feels unexpected and innovative. The combination of the female gunslinger and the deaths of many of the men who were inadequate throughout the film mean that the ending is not what would I would have expected in the slightest. Nicholas Ray has made a Western better than many Westerns, and no matter how awkward the thing looks, that’s a good kind of important right there.

[southboundhq]

MEET NADJA,

FULL NAME › Nadja Nuan Feng AGE › twenty nine GENDER › Cis female (She/Her/Hers) FROM › Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada RESIDENCE › Stagecoach Apartments (Outskirts) OCCUPATION › Bartender at the Coyote’s Howl Bar, Projectionist at the Moonlite Drive-In Theater NOW PLAYING › Lexicon Devil by the Germs

BIOGRAPHY,

trigger warnings: death, murder, gore, sex mention, assault, implied racism, violence, drug mention

▓ ▌now playing : good thing – fine young cannibals

it’s a whirlwind romance, so the journal of nadja’s father would tell of it when her mother finally lets her read it. megan robbie spends her year abroad at tianjin university, hoping to make a new start for her life after the death of her parents. she has no siblings to lean on for support and the once strong childhood and college friendships that had promised permanence and fortitude had failed–crumbling under the weight of complicated grief. megan finds the exchange program that will take her as far away from victoria, bc as possible. northern china connects her somewhat distantly to her mother’s mother, a woman she barely sees in her own features and hardly remembers from her own childhood. megan finds herself falling in love with the coastal metropolis.

guoqiang feng plays guitar and spends his sunny college days reading in the quad. he has long hair and wears oversized sunglasses that megan thinks only he could pull off. they take their first trip during break with some friends down to sanya on hainan island and between the romance of the salty beach air and the hum of anchor beer have the new couple swimming in the saccharine haze of young love. they don’t wait until graduation to get married.

the wedding is a tasteful, small event where everyone remarks on the glow of megan’s soft face, as it shines like the moon–even brighter than the soft cream of her delicate lace dress that floats away from her body in an a-line cut just below the knee. when guoqiang sees her the whole world melts away. in her dark hair, she wears a modern filigree comb and lets her hair cascade over her shoulders in gentle waves. they have never been completely traditional.

no one seems to notice the small changes in megan’s body beneath her bridal garb. it is not long before the wedding that baby nuan grows in her belly–just now the size of a peach pit–kicking with the thunderous force of athena banging around in her father’s head. she is guoqiang’s daughter through and through. when she is born, it is a difficult birth and megan thinks that surely all this pain is worth it. she doesn’t see her baby for hours as she hemorrhages blood and the fundal massage the nurses perform to train her uterus to do what it was engineered to after birth is excruciating. there is nothing she wants more than to be a mother, she thinks, and when she holds nuan in her arms for the first time, she knows she cannot return to work and there is nothing left for her back home in british columbia.

they name the small girl for guoqiang’s feisty mother and megan gives her the english counterpart of nadja and the middle name of her own later mother. in megan’s arms, nuan can never seem to find peace and is quieted only long enough to eat before howling for her father. megan feng cannot understand what she has done wrong, but is comforted by the soft tutting of her husband as he quiets their precocious baby girl, insisting that she is just a fussy child and only seemed preferred him because he was so often at work.

college had worked out well for guoqiang and soon he was working for future tv in tianjin. the train rides home extended his time away as did the occasional afterwork dinner or meeting leaving megan and nadja to themselves for the most part during the week. if distance made the heart grow fonder, time made the heart grow sweeter. megan was full of yearning and though she cherished her time with the fussy, mischievous toddler it soon became not enough. she yearned for stimulating conversation and found herself nose deep in any literature she could get her hands on–eager to discuss the stories with guoqiang as he entered the house late at night with slumped shoulders.

▓ ▌now playing : bela lugosi’s dead – bauhaus

the time comes where guoqiang feng is bestowed with the good fortune of moving up in the company. despite being dead tired everyday, he considers himself lucky even as the dust continues to build on his baby blue fender stratocaster. once relegated to the work week, guoqiang’s long hours continue on long business trips throughout the country. the time apart does not shatter their foundation, but it does take its toll on the young couple. unwilling to let megan and nuan come second to anything, guoqiang makes some important changes.

on most nights, guoqiang starts skipping the afterwork cocktails–coming back home from with a little more energy than before. he starts to plan a family vacation to sanya to revitalize the marriage and get some much needed rest and relaxation. megan takes the news to heart and enthusiastically begins planning their itinerary. there is a new glimmer to the feng household and even nadja seems to be less fussy–toddling around with a smiling face. she takes steps on her own and starts to speak; her first word is ‘cat.’ the fengs get a cat. nadja can hardly remember life in tianjin, but nearly every moment of her childhood includes that cat she cannot name. the gossamer wings of nostalgia obscure so many things.

the fengs are as shocked as the rest of the world when news hits of sarin gas in nagano. it’s a stark juxtaposition when held up against guoqiang’s busy work days in tianjin or megan and nadja playful days in the coastal city of tianjin. the fengs have never been to japan aside from guoqiang’s rare trips to tokyo for business. when guoqiang doesn’t return to his hotel room in tokyo on time from the train to make his night call with his family a year later, it’s the furthest thing in the world from megan’s mind. she’s certain–despite nuan mounting tantrums–that he simply stayed out too late with colleagues following an impromptu dinner. when he never makes it home, megan wonders if she should count herself lucky or unlucky that nadja does not have the words to ask the deeper questions–not yet.

as spring approaches, ushering in the reminders of trips to sanya, megan feng holds nuan firmly in her arms in a dark room. they are all that is left. everything reminds megan of him. guoqiang’s ghost is inescapable and he is present in everything she does. guoqiang’s mother nuan comes to mourn her son, but stays to help a mother and child heal. it’s too much for one woman to carry alone, but despite their grief the two mothers make a go of it together.

▓ ▌now playing : burn – the cure

every grain of sand in bohai bay carries a piece of guoqiang in it. megan cannot breathe in her husband’s shadow and, despite the love she has for her home, she knows it is time to make a new life. the goodbyes are painful, but after she is accepted to study at the university of british columbia she knows that fate has chosen a new path for her. she is blessed to leave with her daughter in tow. the cat with a forgotten name stays with nuan’s nainai in her modest house by the sea. it will be a long time before little nuan looks upon her face again.

nuan starts kindergarten in vancouver, british columbia and struggles behind her classmates. back home she was touted as gifted, if not just a little too busy, but here she feels behind. by elementary school she is taking the bus and walking home to the apartment herself while megan finishes her degree. so many kids struggle with the name nuan, even though it is the simplest thing on her own tongue. she doesn’t get to choose between nuan and nadja; it is a choice made for her by her mother and the rest of the people she comes across. it isn’t perfect, but nadja will look back later upon this time with palpable longing; it’s the only time she remembers feeling happy with her mother because, as she’ll learn in an encroaching reading assignment–nothing gold can stay.

where nadja struggles, megan thrives. majoring in literature, she puts her love of reading to good use. it doesn’t even matter that she has to start seemingly from scratch when all of her credits don’t transfer over. three years into her bachelor’s and she meets professor preston clarke and is immediately enamored by his lecture style. he is, for all intents and purposes, the quintessential cool guy professor. they meet during his office hours and discuss poetry over coffee. the romance doesn’t cross the line until graduate school, when she becomes his teaching assistant. to protect his reputation she drops out of the program and applies for a teaching program instead. megan and nadja move into his tasteful craftsman in english bay. every time preston calls her ‘naddy’ instead of nuan or nadja she bristles; she knows this man has no business playing her father.

▓ ▌now playing : lexicon devil – the germs

as nadja grows so do her problems in school. the letters seem to dance off the page like fall leaves and she is unable to sit still to focus like the other kids. the more nadja struggles, the more megan and preston push her. it only deepens the divide between them. the only balm for her anger is the occasional stretches of the year when nainai visits. it is the only time nadja freely speaks chinese in the household where her mother coddles her monolingual partner. when nainai is there, nadja does not break her toys or rip apart preston’s coffee table books–she runs into the arms of her grandmother and finds the comfort of her father. with grandma feng in the house, the tensions seem to lessen.

there’s an anger in her that is burning, stirring–embers glow now and soon they will be flames. she is talented at finding trouble. she hates her stepfather because he acts like he understands her mother and pretends he understands her. he is holden caulfield. he is jack kerouac. he is a thousand and one tired perspectives. he understands nothing. resentment mounts like bile in her throat and it coats every acrid word she speaks to her mother for choosing a man like him–for choosing that same man every time over everyone and everything else.

it’s the music that nadja channels this anger into. she spends her afternoons skateboarding of messing around on her dad’s old stratocaster. she paints her lips black and clings to anything that turns to corners of her mother’s lips downard in disapproval. nadja tells herself it’s her mother’s choice, this rebellion. it’s the choice she made when she plucked her small daughter from her father’s home and forced her into the hostile canadian soil. in that soil, megan feng becomes meg clarke. she blossoms and grows, building a home in old grief to runaway from new loss. nadja refuses the surname and stands her ground; she will not forfeit her father’s name.

▓ ▌now playing : oh bondage ! up yours ! – xray spex

freshman year brings a new sense of freedom to nadja life. skipping class to smoke cigarettes and crush beer cans under the bridge beats the annoyed sighs of teachers who think ‘nadja feng just doesn’t apply herself.’ when she runs out of cash for smokes or weed at the end of the school day, nadja skates over to the university to bum a few dollars off her stepdad. she’s done it half a dozen times this month alone and there’s nothing to suggest this day will go any differently. as she approaches his office, she zips up the black hoodie she’s altered with dental floss to cover the band shirt beneath as a small act of appeasement.

instead of finding him alone, drinking scotch and contemplating the loneliness his mediocre life affords him, nadja finds him with his hand on the thigh of another bright-eyed literature major–his position as a professor adding an attraction to him that would otherwise go overlooked. she turns sharply on the heel of her black doc martens, storming out to the parking lot to the tenured professor’s coveted parking spot. the silver sedan glistens in the spring sunshine. it’s so close to the anniversary of her father’s death, which has come and gone unmarked yet again in preston clarke’s household. april showers bring may flowers, but in the parking lot it is raining safety glass as she smashes out the windows of the sedan with the trucks of her skateboard. the clarkes have always seemed to be more interested in the status of parenthood rather than the labor love takes. it feels good to break something he loves.

when preston finds out he insists that nainai’s summer visit be cancelled and megan feels pressured to oblige; she has always only wanted harmony between preston and nadja and it seems farther away than ever. the punishment does not serve to temper her into a well-honed tool. nadja anger is a wolf lapping its own blood off the blade of a knife; the meal satiates her, but it is she who is hemorrhaging. she runs away several times before it sticks–never speaking to her mom and stepdad again when she finally manages to get out.

couch surfing with friends and surviving somewhere between traincar and tall boys of steel reserve, she joins a series of moderately popular local punk bands–unable to commit to anything for too long. it builds up her reputation in vancouver’s punk community, however, and soon she has the family she’s always wanted–a large group of friends. nadja casts off her old identity. she is finding her footing in brand new velvet burgundy docs–a kickdown from some drunk girl at a show. they’re a little too big, but with a couple pairs of wool socks, she can hardly tell the difference.

▓ ▌now playing : i love livin’ in the city – fear

by twenty-one, things have picked up for nadja. the girl has split her time between working at smoke shops and alternative cafes long enough to have obtained her ged and now she works the front door at a popular punk bar. at an average heigh tof 5′6″ the fast-talking, loud mouthed runaway has other ways to cut even the tallest men to half her size. her temper gets her into trouble, but her charisma and work ethic keep her employed.

without her parents’ finances, it becomes more and more difficult for nadja to see her grandmother and their visits are relegated predominantly to weekly skype conversations. nainai works with her granddaughter to keep up her mandarin and the girl dreams of returning home and spending the weekdays working in tianjin only to return to the calm beach town where her grandmother still lives in the house she was born in. it seems like a pipe dream, but it is one both women hold onto. it is the only dream either one has left. grandma feng no longer has any reason to speak to her once beloved daughter in law either, but there is no spite. she knows that nadja’s mother cannot bear to have the thorns of guoqiang’s death in her paws for a lifetime. grief is complicated, but better understood by those who’ve lived long enough to see enough of it.

after a few years, nadja becomes lead bartender, but the money just isn’t rolling in. the bar threatens to close and nadja begins taking night classes and setting money away in the hopes that a business degree will legitimize her enough for a business loan so she can buy the place herself. it cements her in bc, but with enough money she could at least afford to bring her grandmother out to see her on occasion. it’s not a homecoming, sure, but perhaps it is a homemaking.

▓ ▌now playing : ever fallen in love – the buzzcocks

like her mother and father before her, nadja falls in love with a boy playing guitar–spitting his own blood on the crowd of the bar like gasoline. kurt is tall and lanky with a padlock securing a chain around his throat. his long, dark hair frames his freckled face so delicately for someone with such an obtrusive frame. it’s not long before the spiteful bartender and the guitarist who lives in his van and calls himself ‘freegan’ to justify dumpster diving cheese pizzas are inseparable. he moves in quickly to her place, more or less because he doesn’t have a stable place to leave his shit when he’s on tour.

it suits her just fine when he’s away playing shows or laying down tracks on a seven inch. the bands slays and kurt and nadja have fun together. they get drunk on forties in train yards and cemeteries. they drive out to the beach and fuck in his van before tagging up the concrete retaining walls of a beachfront housing development. it seems like they might spend the rest of their lives smoking weed and cigarettes on the porch, scarfing down breakfast burritos at three am, and marathoning eighties horror movies like each time is the first time. nadja doesn’t know if she believes in love, but she thinks that maybe this is close enough. her skype calls to grandma feng become spotty in these first few months. it is the thing she will live to regret the most.

nadja becomes lax under the spell of love. coursework does not go unfinished, but she lets kurt hangout sometimes in the bar when she’s closing. eventually, her boss concedes to hire him on as a dishwasher and–though he complains about wanting a better position–he shows up to work most days more or less on time with a fresh cigarette behind his ear and an easy grin. he closes up some nights with nadja or the other bartender–a menacing looking american girl named natasha that bites her nails when she thinks no one is looking and always smells like damp patchouli and sweat.

on a moonless night in december, not long after their one year anniversary, nadja arrives to the community college to see that class is cancelled. excited to return early to the bar and surprise kurt with some burgers and garlic fries, she is crushed to find him in the arms of natasha. the pair are showered in burgers and nadja catches one of them with an empty bottle she isn’t sure she truly means to make contact with. the sound of shattered glass has always been a lullaby to an angry girl.

she’s not even all the way back to her apartment before she gets the call. nadja feng is fucking firedand kurt has given her the blame for the money he’s been skimming from the place on the sly. they’re debating on whether or not to press charges. nadja sells all of kurt’s second-rate band equipment to a pawn shop along with the things that don’t mean enough to carry on her back. she buys a plane ticket to tianjin by way of los angeles that day. with christmas lurking around the corner, it’s the best bang for her buck. nadja leaves her house keys on the empty floor. fuck leases and fuck kurt stevens.

▓ ▌now playing : spellbound – siouxsie and the banshees

the corrosive memories of kurt and natasha’s tryst are far from nadja’s mind as she finishes the skype call with her grandmother giving her the good news. understandably, grandma feng is concerned about the impulsive decision, but she knows her granddaughter well enough. even a girl as rash as a summer forest fire sometimes makes the right choice. they have dreamed of reuniting for so long, it is hard to take the news with anything but a tearful smile. nadja hears it in her voice–it colors every word. for the first time in nadja’s young life she thinks: i’m coming home.

the drive is a long one, but nadja is worried about the possibility of being forced to stay in bc due to assault charges. she can drive down the west coast and breathe in the salty air. she can eat clam strips and throw bread to seagulls in some seaside diner while she watches the tumultuous waves of the oregon coast thrash violently against the rocky shore. maybe it’ll be therapeutic, she thinks, to be one small person along a great, dark sea. a few days more. a few days and she’ll be back in tianjin and maybe she and nainai can get a new cat together. maybe the waves that beat the sands of dongjiang bay beach are softer and kinder than those in the pacific northwest.

it’s a lonely ride down and after three days of reflection and solitude, nadja feels like crawling out of her own skin. it’s too much peace for a girl born of chaos. perhaps it’s self-destruction or maybe it’s idle boredom, but when she sees the young crust punk couple hitchiking on the side of the road, she thinks fuck it, at least it’s something new and pulls over for them. they’re on the way to yuma city and she agrees to drop them off on her way to lax. they seem fine enough. she doesn’t even mind the little blue heeler they have with them, even though she’s a dyed in the wool cat person. the track marks don’t go unnoticed, but it’s nothing new to a veteran of the punk scene and nadja feng can handle anything.

▓ ▌now playing : dead end justice – the runaways

after a day on the road, the trio and their small dog throw down a few bucks to sleep in one of the cabins at a kampground of america. it’s not so bad, but the puppy whines all night and pees on the floor once in the early hours of the morning. nadja lies awake on the top bunk and she can hear the pair talking below her. wes speaking in his dopey voice, hardly whispering and maya shushing him in harsh whispers. nadja eeps her movements to the minimum and her eyes closed after she hears them pause for several moments when she readjusts. she’s certain she can smell maya’s breath for a moment as she hears the bed creak and feels a steely finger in her ribs. keeping her breaths steady, she plays opossum.

it becomes clear to her, once the bed creaks and maya starts talking again that they mean to rip her off. maya even asks wes is he’s ever wondered what it would feel like to kill somebody. nadja’s seen the way he looks at her; he’d die for her. he’d kill for her. boy, have they fucked with the wrong girl, nadja thinks darkly. covers pulled up to her chin. there’s a butterfly knife in her pocket and the shape of it has left an impression on the skin of her thigh. slowly she reaches for it and works to silently unfold it, clutching it to her chest beneath the covers when she’s through. they’re gonna pay. she’s never thought herself a killer, but she’s been a fighter since she was in her mother’s belly. let them try it, she thinks. and they do.

lying in wait, knowing it was coming doesn’t prepare her for what it will truly be like. there’s a fist in her face before she can speak, with the harsh instructions to get up. sucker punched and it’s not even four am yet. helluvah night. the punch stuns her, but she means to be ready. as wes pulls the covers from her bed, she spring on maya like a cat–butterfly knife, formerly a novelty, an aesthetic–arching blood across the cabin walls. maya has to be first, because she’s meanest. the shock will stun wes long enough for her to turn on him even though he’s bigger. somewhere in the darkness, their small dog yelps and paws at the door.

maya is easily overtaken. nadja has the element of surprise and a few inches on her. she wonders what it says about her that she can dispatch a shitty person so easily. it’s not like highlander; she doesn’t gain mystical powers when she sticks maya in the neck with that cheap butterfly knife. all she gets is blood. wes, on the other hand, he’s harder once he realizes his life is on the line. easily, he has half a foot and thirty pounds on her and he gives almost as good as he gets. nadja swallows a molar and take a hit so hard her ears ring, but she doesn’t stop. her whole life has been filled with a rage that she has let out in metered doses. tonight she lets it all out; tonight she knows she can never go back to vancouver, but she can still go home. she doesn’t stop until the dog barks at her loudly to go outside and she wonders if he didn’t trust them either.

they’d named him something stupid, like chaos or dogmeat. he wasn’t a fucking fallout canine companion even if they fancied themselves raiders. heroin and the open road, punk rock and a boxcar–she knows how romantic it all can seem. they probably thought they were mad max or negan. in the end they were just assholes. nadja feng is a cat person, but she can’t just leave this poor dog in the cabin with all that blood. he’s barely more than a puppy. nadja doesn’t know what the fuck to do with a dog, but … he is kind of cute. his blue-grey fur reminds her of an old man’s beard–a little old grandpa–and so the name, while never meant to be permanent, sticks. and so does grandpa, it seems, as he never leaves her side. they’ll have to head east, farther from the scene of the crime and buy a plane ticket from somewhere like phoenix. she chides herself as she wonders how much it costs to ship a dog to tianjin and decides fuck it, it doesn’t really matter. their friendship was baptized in blood, she and the dog belong together.

▓ ▌now playing : there is a light that never goes out – the smiths

the open road at night in the desert has an eerie quality to it and nadja is running from ghosts. phantoms who catch her easiest when she is sleeping, grandpa curled under her arm, in the back seat of her beat up muscle car. she’s never seen a place quiet like this and maybe it’d even be beautiful if she wasn’t alone–lady macbeth on the run. at least the dog’s good company, he doesn’t seem to care what she’s done and long as she feeds him. there’s something kind of nice about the newness of unconditional love.

she doesn’t call her grandmother to tell her about the change in flight plans, not yet anyway. once nainai’s voice sound on the other end, she knows she’ll burst into tears. she doesn’t deserve a grandmother like that, but she knows that an old woman can’t care for herself forever. she can at least give her that. if she can’t give her fat grandchildren and a fancy house on the beach, she can at least be there for her–if only she could find the highway.

driving and coffee, it seems like that’s all she’s known as she focuses on getting to phoenix as fast as possible. inhumanely fast, impossibly fast. it can be an alibi or an escape. there’s no way anyone’s going to believe she was the victim when they see wes’ body. too angry for too long–she’s really fucked it up this time. she doesn’t even google news reports, not wanting to know what might be waiting for her when she finally makes it to the airport and fuck, she can still not find the main highway, but there’s hope in the form of some no horse shithole named boot hill. ahead of schedule from driving like a bat out of hell, maybe she can rest for one night. maybe her demons can’t find her in this place. it’s almost a mirage–the oasis in the desert of cartoon, she thinks. who would ever think to find her in a place like this? the don’t even have a starbucks here, let alone a prison.

before she knows it, it’s been four months. nainai was understanding when she said she’d run into some bad luck and was staying in this small town. she’s just laying low of course, and she promises her grandmother everyday that she’ll be out to phoenix to catch her flight before she knows it. maybe nainai even believes it, because she says ‘my friends in la tell me there was a murder along the freeway there, be careful, sweet girl’ and nadja cringes, because she is not a sweet girl. she’s a killer and a prisoner and only one of those truths is she fully aware of in boot hill.

❝ the only thing i remember from my childhood is when you are scared, make yourself tall. i’m the tallest girl alive. i’m the tallest knife. no throat can hold me. ❞

CENSUS,

FACECLAIM › Chloe Bennet AUTHOR › Lucia