#Spock save me from this cold please

[electric-lavender]

Being sick while living alone is the worst. What do you mean the person in charge of taking care of me is me??? I can’t do that I’m sick.

At least I have soup and star trek

[bumblingbabooshka]

Welcome to the world's worst love square. T'Pring/Stonn-Kirk/Spock. I said 'Starfleet' here, I meant The Federation begins an investigation after receiving a report from Starfleet. Because you know what? I think the Federation would be concerned about a planet among them where women legally can't get a divorce unless their potential husband is killed. Which means, functionally, divorce is illegal for women. More in depth relationships under the cut!

Kirk & T'Pring: He feels bad for T'Pring because he recognizes the law is unjust and he sincerely hates the position she was put in but, emotionally, still resents what they were put through and it bleeds into his interactions with her. Doesn't like her extremely cold attitude (not mean, just completely absent of emotion in a way neither Spock nor Stonn are.) Doesn't realize he's jealous of her marriage to Spock, it's subconscious and he won't believe you if you tell him. Plus, he isn't envious of how it was forced on her. T'Pring feels nothing for or against Kirk. She assumes Spock has romantic feelings for him but does not tell him, will not tell anyone. It's only an assumption. If anything, she finds interacting with him slightly irritating and confusing - has never been around Humans before and frequently comes off as rude or standoffish. Kirk & Stonn: Kirk and Stonn are both protective and resent the other, perceiving the other's protectiveness of THEIR beloved as being a slight against THEIR beloved. You get me? In reality, they're both similar and good men who'd do anything for the people they care about. [They were both willing to gamble their life for a chance to save their beloved]. Stonn has a tendency to rile him up intentionally, though it's difficult to tell that's what he's doing from an outside perspective. Stonn talks the most to Kirk - he's usually very taciturn. Spock & Stonn: Spock views Stonn as an idiot taken in by T'Pring to some extent. Projects onto Stonn a lot, negatively. Even traits he admires in others (say, Kirk) are negative when attributed to Stonn. Some tease this might be jealousy over T'Pring - it VERY MUCH is NOT. Stonn is much keener than most give him credit for and is usually able to say at least one thing that sticks with him when he does speak at length. Stonn DID view Spock neutrally but it's all been downhill since that little "You might find having isn't so pleasing a thing as wanting" jab. Kirk & Spock: They love each other so so so so so much but both think the other could never return their feelings. Spock has known about his feelings for Kirk for a long time (and is ashamed of them) but Kirk didn't recognize he had feelings for Spock at all until literally right now and even now he hasn't ACCEPTED it. They're...it's...a work in progress. T'Pring & Stonn: They love each other an appropriate amount for two Vulcans which is (eternally forever I'd kill for you I'd rather be forced to marry another man than risk your life) not at all. T'Pring & Spock: Spock subconsciously views T'Pring as sorta Vulcan made manifest. She is flawlessly, unflinchingly logical. Has a tendency to assume things of her because of how terribly his Vulcan peers treated him in the past. However, he doesn't hate her and acknowledges the laws she's subject to are unjust. A bit bitter over being made to fight Kirk to the death - while he understands why it happened and that T'Pring didn't have any malicious intent it still bothers him....For Some Reason. (For the same reason T'Pring couldn't risk Stonn's life) An outside observer wouldn't think Spock had this much complex thought wrapped up in T'Pring. T'Pring views Spock as her captor by law. It is as negatively neutral as that. Before this incident, she viewed him absolutely neutrally. She is a bit...stuck, on that little "Having v Wanting" jab. It's introduced a certain negativity to her opinion. Also, having to be legally married to him due to a trick Mccoy pulled is...conflicting. On one hand, she's glad no one died and that so much potential good is coming out of this. On the other hand, it's (of course) attracting a lot of unwanted attention and because of that trick, they're still married instead of her being free. Mccoy is also here. He's not part of this relationship chart but he IS there and he's doing his part for women.

[anonymousewrites]

Logos and Pathos (Book 4) Chapter Twelve

TOS! Spock x Empath! Spouse! Reader

Chapter Twelve: Unbearable Loss

Summary: The aftermath of Spock's death hits (Y/N).

            (Y/N) lay listlessly on their bed—the bed they and Spock had once occupied. Their quarters were untouched, still in the condition they and Spock had left it in. (Y/N) rolled over, holding their pillow tightly.

            “(Y/N), if you need to take time off of work, Alekto and I have a spare bedroom. So do your parents,” said Merope, sitting in a hologram and gazing at them worriedly. She and so many people had reached out to try to help (Y/N) as they drifted emotionally while the Enterprise headed to the nearest Space Station.

            None of it mattered. (Y/N)’s heart had been ripped from their chest, and nothing anyone said would change that.

            “I know,” said (Y/N), voice hollow.

            “Please, (Y/N), come home,” said Merope softly.

            “I am home,” they said blankly. The Enterprise was their home. The place where Spock’s presence and personality lingered was their home.

            “Then at least be with your friends,” said Merope, near begging. She didn’t need to be in the same room as (Y/N) to feel their utter and complete grief. “You shouldn’t—can’t be alone at a time like this.”

            “…” (Y/N) remained silent.

            “You know the toll this type of loss takes on us,” said Merope softly.

            Celians were empaths. They felt things oh-so-deeply, and that was a blessing and a curse. The loss of someone a Cellian was bonded to, a spouse, could cause a heartbreak so severe that it permanently crippled empathic powers, leaving people shells of who they were. Merope didn’t want to see (Y/N) lose themself so deeply.

            “I know.” A deep, dark part of (Y/N) wondered if losing their powers would help them feel this misery less and save them from the agony of heartache.

            “Then you know you need to be with people you’re connected to,” said Merope. “Please, you need to take care of yourself.”

            (Y/N) just curled up further. They knew she was right, but the person they wanted to be with was Spock. And he was dead. Their stomach flipped and twisted with nausea at the reminder.

            “…(Y/N).” Merope spoke carefully, voice tender with concern. “He wouldn’t want you to lose yourself.”

            (Y/N) cut off the call before they heard another word. Their heart twisted in their chest, and they squeezed their eyes shut, desperate to ignore Merope words and the truth of them. Spock wouldn’t want them to act like this; he’d want them to live on. But they couldn’t. Without Spock, the world was grey and cold. (Y/N)’s hand went to their rings—theirs and Spock’s on one finger together—and they touched the jewels, wishing that they could feel Spock’s aura once more. Squeezing their eyes shut, (Y/N) pretended they could feel his end of the bond, desperate to make the vivid sensation a reality, but they knew it was just their grief playing horrible tricks on them.

            They were alone. The person they loved more than anyone in the world was gone. (Y/N) would never be the same.

l

            “Bridge to (L/N).” Uhura’s voice pierced the mournful silence.

            (Y/N) limply pressed the response button. “(L/N) here.” Their voice was robotic.

            “We are preparing for docking,” said Uhura. “If you’d like to join on the Bridge…”

            “Thank you, Uhura.” (Y/N) left it there. They still couldn’t muster themself to leave the room.

            Swish.

            (Y/N) bolted up from where they lay. Someone had opened the doors to their quarters without requesting entrance.

            “Hello?” they said cautiously.

            “I want to go home.”

            (Y/N) frowned as Bones stepped into their quarters and spoke. “Bones…?”

            “Please.” He stared at them, eyes unseeing. “Help me. I want to go home.”

            “Bones, what are you talking about?” said (Y/N). They felt almost no emotions coming from him, no distress or joy or anything, so to hear these words created a startling paradox.

            “I want to come back to you, (Y/N),” said Bones. He stared at them, and (Y/N) felt one of the rings on their finger pull on their aura slightly. “Please. Climb the steps of Mount Seleya. Remember, (Y/N). Please.”

            Bones collapsed, and (Y/N) caught him with wide eyes. “Bones? Bones?!” They grabbed their communicator. “Uhura, I need a medic, now!” They stared at Bones’s unconscious body and then at their ring—Spock’s ring. What just happened?

l

            “How is Bones?” asked (Y/N) as they walked towards the entrance of the Enterprise.

            “His vitals are steady,” said Kirk. “But Chapel and the other doctors can’t tell why he collapsed.”

            (Y/N) frowned. “He was speaking so strangely before he fainted. It was almost like—” They shook their head.

            “Almost like what?” said Kirk.

            “He spoke like Spock did,” said (Y/N), softly.

            That ended the conversation. Kirk couldn’t say anything to that, and (Y/N) didn’t want to. So, they got into line and remained silent.

            “You’ve all done remarkable service under the most difficult conditions,” said Admiral Morrow, pacing before the high-ranked Enterprise crew. “You’ll be receiving Starfleet’s highest commendation. And, more importantly…extended shore leave.”

            (Y/N)’s gaze went to the ground. They didn’t care. None of it mattered without Spock.

            “All but you, Mr. Scott,” said Morrow. “They need your wisdom on the new Excelsior. Report there tomorrow as the Captain of Engineering.”

            “With all appreciation, I’d prefer to supervise the refit of the Enterprise,” said Scotty.

            “I’m afraid that won’t be necessary,” said Morrow.

            (Y/N) and the rest of the crew paused and frowned.

            “But sir,” said Scotty, uncertainty coloring his aura.

            “I’m sorry, Mr. Scott, but there will be no refit,” said Morrow.

            I’m going to lose Spock and I’s home, too?! (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and they desperately wished they had Spock’s aura to reach out to and calm themself.

            “Admiral, I don’t understand,” said Kirk, furrowing his brow. “The Enterprise is not—”

            “Jim, the Enterprise is twenty years old. We feel her day is over,” said Morrow.

            “But we had requested—” Kirk paused as anger flashed through him and centered himself. “We had hoped to take her back to Genesis.”

            After what Bones said…I have to get back. (Y/N) knew they needed answers to Bones’s strange words.

            Morrow shook his head. “That is out of the question.”

            “May I ask why?” said Kirk, concealing his anger in his expression but (Y/N) felt the burn.

            “In your absence, Genesis has become a galactic controversy,” said Morrow. “Until the Federation Council makes policy, you are all under orders not to discuss with anyone your knowledge of Genesis. Consider it a quarantine planet and a forbidden subject.”

            (Y/N)’s hands curled into fists. Spock, the Enterprise, Genesis…everyone who had fought and defeated Khan and create life had to remain silent about everything around it. Spock would not be remembered as he should.

            “(Y/N).”

            They looked up at Kirk, eyes burning with unshed tears.

            “We’ll remember he as he deserves,” said Kirk quietly. “I swear it.”

            (Y/N) looked at Kirk gratefully. Merope was right. They needed to remember they had friends with them who could support them. Even if they still felt so empty…

l

            “To absent friends,” said (Y/N) softly, standing in their apartment with the Enterprise senior crew members.

            “Absent friends,” echoed the rest, taking a drink with them. This was the private remembrance they needed after all the formality of Starfleet.

            To Spock, my love, thought (Y/N), closing their eyes and reaching out to their marriage bond to pretend they could feel his presence once more.

            “Admiral, what’s going to happen to the Enterprise?” asked Sulu, looking at Kirk.

            “She’s going to be decommissioned,” said Kirk, and (Y/N) felt the grief radiating off him.

            “Will we get another ship?” asked Chekov.

            “I can’t get an answer,” sighed Kirk. “Starfleet’s up to its brass in galactic conference. No one has time for those who stand and wait.”

            “Sir, (Y/N), about Dr. McCoy, how is he?” asked Uhura.

            “He’s home now,” said (Y/N).

            Kirk nodded. “He’s resting comfortably, full of tranquilizers. They say it’s exhaustion. He promised he’d stay put. We’ll see.”

            “What about what he said?” asked (Y/N). “Has he given an explanation?”

            Kirk shrugged. “He doesn’t remember anything. He just remembers being in Sickbay and then being in front of you, falling unconscious.”

            “…” (Y/N) absently touched their rings. What had everything Bones said meant?

            A knock sounded at the door, and (Y/N) turned to it, frowning. “Come in.” They felt no emotional aura.

            The door slid open, and Sarek stepped in. (Y/N) instantly straightened at the sight of their father-in-law. “Sarek,” they greeted simply, solemnly.

            Sarek nodded as he walked closer. “(Y/N).”

            They cleared their throat. “I didn’t know you would be joining us.” They motioned to their friends. “I believe you’ve met the senior Enterprise crew.”

            “I must speak to you alone, (Y/N),” said Sarek.

            (Y/N) understood that this had to do with Spock, with family. They nodded. “Of course.” They looked at their friends. “Please excuse us.”

            Kirk nodded, and the others filed into another room to leave Sarek and (Y/N)—father and child-in-law—together.

            “I’m sorry, Sarek. I wished to come to Vulcan to celebrate Spock’s life,” said (Y/N). “However, Starfleet called us back to base.”

            “I understand their haste.” Sarek looked at them. “I saw the Genesis information and your Admiral’s report.”

            (Y/N) paused. “…Then you know Spock faced his death with bravery and dignity.” Even though they still despised it.

            “You left him on Genesis,” said Sarek.

            “I—Starfleet left me no choice,” said (Y/N) quietly.

            Sarek paused. “Spock did not speak to you of his death, did he?”

            “No,” said (Y/N) softly.

            Sarek sighed. “He did not anticipate an early death.” He shook his head at Spock’s lack of foresight and planning. “Only his body was in death.”

            “What?” said (Y/N), startled at the words. Their grip on their rings tightened to comfort themself.

            “You were the last to be with him, were you not?” said Sarek.

            “I was,” said (Y/N).

            “Then you must know that you should have come with him to Vulcan,” said Sarek.

            “I-I didn’t, Sarek,” said (Y/N). “He did not ask.”

            “He must have entrusted you, his t’hy’la, with his very essence, everything that was not of the body,” said Sarek.

            “His Katra,” said (Y/N) softly. “I remember him speaking of it. But, Sarek…” They swallowed. “We were separated. If he was to give me his living spirit, it was impossible. I’m sorry. He made no request of me to bring him to Vulcan…”

            “So there was no mind-meld before he died,” said Sarek, folding his hands behind his back.

            “No,” said (Y/N). “Not with me.”

            Sarek turned to the door. “Then everything Spock had learned in life is lost.”

            (Y/N) paused. “Is it just his spouse that Spock would entrust his katra with?”

            “It is the most likely,” said Sarek.

            “But it could be another person?” said (Y/N). “Another person he trusts?”

            “Indeed, it is possible,” acknowledged Sarek.

            (Y/N) let out a breath. “Sarek…Is the place where Spock’s Katra must go called Mount Seleya?”

            Sarek raised a brow, such a Spock-like expression. “It is indeed.”

            “I know who has Spock’s Katra,” said (Y/N). “Dr. McCoy. I thought he was rambling, mourning, but he spoke of Mount Seleya and wanting to go there.”

            “You must bring both there. You must collect Spock’s body on Genesis and bring them to Vulcan,” said Sarek. “For both of their peace of mind.”

            “And Spock will be resting in peace as he’d like?” said (Y/N) softly.

            Sarek nodded. “This is the Vulcan way.”

            “Then I’ll do it,” said (Y/N) firmly. “I’ll find a way. I’ll honor them both. I swear.”

            Sarek regarded them for a moment. “Spock chose his spouse well.”

            “…Thank you,” said (Y/N) softly. “Being his T’hy’la…it is an honor.”

            Sarek raised his hand. “Live long and prosper.”

            “Live long and prosper,” said (Y/N), raising their own hand in a Vulcan salute. “I will bring Spock to Mount Seleya.” They would honor their husband’s wishes.

Taglist:

@a-ofzest

@grippleback-galaxy

@genderfluid-anime-goth

@groovy-lady

@im-making-an-effort

@unending-screaming

@h-l-vlovesvintage

@neenieweenie

@keylimeconstellation

@wormwig

@technikerin23

@ilyatan

@nthdarkqueen

@kyalov

@starlit-cass

@rookietrek

@gingertimelord

@snowy-violet

@jaguarthecat

@jac012

[prepare4trouble]

So, after my post about finding old fic, I decided to make a post, of fanfics I’ve loved over the years. I thought maybe other people might enjoy them too.

It’s not a complete list, there are a lot of other fics that aren’t in the list, mainly because I have and have had favourites saved all over the place, and I’ve got still more that I probably haven’t remembered. I’ll add more later.

All of these are complete, I haven’t included WIPS as much as I have some I loved, I doubt they will ever be finished now. Maybe I’ll add them later too, with warnings of course.

Most of these are pretty long. They are all ones I’ve gone back and read over and over, some though, I haven’t read in years, so maybe they’re not as good as I remember. Hopefully they are though.

This list is mainly for my own benefit, but I hope someone else gets some enjoyment out of these too, and please feel free to reblog and add your own faves.

So, in no particular order:

Cruel Necessity by Epona Harper - Real Ghostbusters fanfic. 79k words.

Summary: An attack on Peter has far-reaching repercussions.

No Little Charity by Perspi - House MD fanfic. 37351 words.

Summary: It was an old ritual, old magic from before the world had rational explanations and cold science. Cold science had failed House; Wilson had nothing left to try but this. (You need to be logged in to view this one)

Tarred and Feathered by Crydamoure - Good Omens fanfic. 75735 words.

Summary: It was the most obvious punishment. The Archangel created to carry Her voice suddenly rendered mute.

(Gabriel falls, personally inconveniencing Beelzebub)

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan - Good Omens fanfic. 10452 words.

Summary: "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?"

Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.

 "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."

 AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it

Eclipse by AconitumNapellus - Star Trek TOS fanfic. 82773 words.

Summary: Spock is blinded in an explosion on the Enterprise and relocates to Earth for his rehabilitation. While he grows used to his new world and finally returns to the Enterprise, he and the crew must find out if the explosion was an accident, or terrorism.

(This one is part of a series, but you can get to the others from this one)

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm. Good Omens fanfic. 99423 words.

Summary: As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:

--His clothing was expensive and stylish;
--He wore very strange but noticeable cologne;
--His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;”
--He looked angry;
--He was wearing sunglasses.

What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?

The Manipulation of Julian Bashir By The Tystie. Star Trek DS9 fanfic. 218000 words

SUMMARY: When you have lived a lie for over half your life, how do you cope when the truth comes out? A story about Julian Bashir, set in season 5.

[swimmingwolf59]

Master Post of Ken's Nonsense Fics

Hello, welcome to my blog!! I've written, uh, a lot lol, for a lot of different pairings and fandoms, so I wanted to make a post to tie all that together! (You can also head right to my ao3 if you wish Iol) Fics are beneath the cut!!

My personal favorites are bold and brash blue!

Star Trek

TOS

Spones - Easily contains the most fics I have ever written lmao, a truly insane amount. You can find a list of my spones fics here.

Buried in the Sand. Sarek and Spock, follows their relationship over the years in both tos and aos. Written for Spock Prime Big Bang 2021. Complete.

Persistent Doctors for Stubborn Patients. Spock and the med crew! M'Benga front and center. Complete.

From Scratch. McCoy brings Sarek tea post Journey to Babel surgery. Complete.

Nuclear Fission. Spock/Scotty, Scott runs into a Vulcan while stationed on Delta Vega. Complete.

TNG

Viva la Q. Picard/Q, Q keeps saving Picard's life over and over. Complete.

Fistfuls of Data. Worf/Data, post the episode "A Fistful of Datas". Complete.

DS9

Darlin' Dax. McCoy's and Dax's friendship throughout the years, with a side of spones. Complete.

Needles and Thread. Kira/O'Brien/Keiko/Bashir/Garak + the kids fluff (or the fivesome that I'm crazy about and my friend totally roasted me for). Complete.

Voyager

In the Desert with the Doctor. Tuvok and the Doctor missing scene for the episode "Future's End." Complete.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

You can find a list of my jjba fics here!

KHR (Reborn)

You can find a list of my reborn fics here!

Avatar the Last Airbender

Proper Form. Iroh helps trans!Zuko bind properly. Complete.

Sunlight Through Lemon Trees. After Aang and Katara break up, Zuko tries to comfort Aang by offering to help him restore the Southern Air Temple. Zukaang, complete.

Disco Elysium

Familiar Fluidity. Please read my trans!Harry choose your own adventure fic I worked so hard on it LOL. Complete.

Enstars

The Haunting of the Ensemble Square Training Hall. HiMERU investigates the ghost rumors surrounding the training hall. No ships, character study, complete.

Tiger and Bunny

With Abandon. Barnaby, wanting to thank Kotetsu for all that he’s done for him, tries to make fried rice for him. Romantic!taibani, complete.

Wrong Suit. After spending the night together, Kotetsu and Barnaby accidentally put on each other’s hero suits. Romantic!taibani, complete.

Kamonohashi Ron

The Case of the Clairvoyant Friend Group. Rontoto. Do you like fun silly friends all knew before them fics??? This one's for you! Complete.

Cool Doji Danshi (Play It Cool Guys)

Play it Cool, Gays. Hayate/Mima, Hayate and Mima both try to ask each other out, but neither of them understand the other. Complete.

Sparks of Joy. Hayate/Motoharu/Mima, Mima and Motoharu throw Hayate a surprise party. Complete.

Comfort. Hayate/Mima, Mima stays the night with Hayate to recover from playing that horror game. Rated G, complete.

Millionaire Detective

The Newlyweds. Kambe and Kato fake marry to participate in a game show and track down a shipment of adollium. Complete.

Good Omens

Fire Within the Heart. Crowley has difficulty maintaining his human form when it gets too cold. Romantic!azicrow, complete.

Our House. Aziraphale and Crowley move into the South Downs cottage together. Romantic!azicrow, ongoing technically. Some day I will probably return to this lol.

The Raven Cycle

A Dreamer's Guide to the Galaxy. Pynch hitchhiker's guide AU series. First fic is complete, the second is permanently on hiatus.

Trying It Again. Compilation of fics written for pynch week 2018. Complete.

Safety First. Adam spills chemicals on himself and has to use the safety shower. Though apparently he's not the only one... Pynch, complete.

It's Not a Date. Two times Adam didn't know it was Valentine's Day. Pynch, complete.

On a Raven's Black Wing. Adam works at a pet store where Ronan and Chainsaw are frequent customers. Pynch, permanently on hiatus.

Wild and Free. Another compilation. this time for pynch week 2017. Complete.

You Are My Dream. Ronan and Adam explore their new relationship now that they're not tramping around mystical forests looking for sleeping kings. Complete.

Fire Emblem

Three Houses

Cashepar Week 2019. 4 fics I wrote for Caspar/Ashe. Complete.

Too Lazy to Stop Being Lazy. Hilda and Linhardt trick each other into doing their chores for them. Gen, complete.

Awakening

Love Me as I Am. Inigo/Laurent, both have strict parents, but together they can be who they really are. Permanently on hiatus.

Rabbits, Masks, and Monkeys. Gerome/Yarne, how two boys become friends again (and perhaps more than that). Complete.

Trick or Treat? Gaius/m!Robin, Gaius takes Morgan trick or treating. Lots of background pairings. Complete.

Yowamushi Pedal

You can find a list of my yowapeda fics here!

Person of Interest

Sing. John loves Finch's singing. Romantic, complete.

Free!

Snapshots. Compilation of fics for souharu week 2015. Complete.

About Time. Cuddly souharu try to celebrate Sousuke's birthday (Sousuke forgets). Complete.

Memories of Friendship. Gen souharu, where Sousuke stays at Haru's house a little longer during High Speed 2. Complete.

Broken. When Sousuke finds out he can never swim again, his world falls down around him. Gen, complete.

Adrift. My souharu saga: Sousuke, unable to swim any longer, has to coach Haru for the Olympics. Complete.

DAYS

If You'd Only. Shibakimi friends with benefits, where neither of them want to admit to being friends or having benefits. Permanently on hiatus.

[mystery-star]

Separation - Spock

Pairing: Spock x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: abduction

Words: 872

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms!

-

It was cold and smelled awful. By now you didn’t even remember how long you had been kept in this cell. The fact that this planet had a totally different day and night rhythm didn’t help at all. Still you reckoned that it surely couldn’t me more than three days, according to Stardates. At times you wondered if they even were looking for you but you were certain, and hoping, that your husband would insist to keep looking for you until you were back on the ship. As First Officer he surely could do that. Once you assured yourself that they would be looking for you, however, you started to wonder if they would ever find you.

The next time you got food and something to drink (it tasted horribly but your body needed fluids and at least the food was decent) you once again asked the aliens what they wanted from you but as last time, you didn’t get an answer. As your captors walked away, you muttered insults at them under your breath before you rationed your newest food and ate the first portion already.

When you weren’t occupied with worrying or wondering what you did here, you tried to plan what you’d first do once you returned to the Enterprise and what you’d eat first. And you also slept a lot or at least tried to. If you couldn’t you’d go over movies and books in your head to distract yourself.

Finally, on what you figured to be your fifth day in captivity, you heard the sounds of a fight nearby and it turned out to be a rescue party from the Enterprise.

“(Y/N)” you immediately turned to the source of Spock’s voice and just the fact that he called you by your first name and not your rank let on how worried he must have been.

“Spock!” you cried and tried to get on your feet but you were too weak for such abrupt movements. Your husband shot the lock to the door open and was next to you with a huge step

“Are you injured?”

“No. Probably a couple of bruises but nothing bad” he knelt down and hugged you for a very short time “Thanks” you breathed out, clinging to his shirt.

“You do not need to thank me, (Y/N)”

“Because saving me was logical?”

“Among other. Are you able to stand up and walk?” you shrugged

“I’ll try. But help me”

“Certainly” once you stood on your legs you were a little wobbly at first but your husband wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. Although you didn’t need to, you still clung to him as you took your first steps.

“Did you find out why they took me?”

“I cannot say yet. However, rest assured that the individuals who are responsible will be properly interrogated in order to ascertain the reason for your capture, Lieutenant” you let out a sad huff because he had switched back to his formal way of addressing you since he was on duty after all.

“Will you stay with me?”

“Stay?”

“On the ship… I don’t think I want to be alone for now. Can you stay with me in our quarters?”

“If this is your wish, I am certain I will be able to excuse myself from further duties after our return to the Enterprise. However, I might still need to take care of certain matters, which I shall try to complete during the time you are being examined in medical bay”

“Oh right. The usual check-up” you muttered “Suppose I’ll have to survive that first” he threw a glance at you and you could tell your statement confused him.

“Why would you believe a basic medical routine examination to be lethal?” you chuckled

“Oh Spock. You do know that I love you for how you are?”

“As of now, you have declared your feelings for me on 108 different occasions with the words ‘I love you’, another 35 instances you have insisted on me being the best – yet never specifying at what I excelled exactly - as well as on 5 times by telling me that I meant the universe to you” you smiled

“A simple ‘yes’ would have been enough, you know”

“I understand” again he repeated his question why you thought you’d die in med bay, prompting you to explain it had been a joke since you didn’t really want to get checked up and be separated from Spock. “I deem it necessary to exclude the possibility of you having injuries or illnesses that might endanger you, (Y/N). Should you wish, I can see if I will be able to be by your side during the examination and delegate my responsibilities to someone else”

“No, it’s fine” you assured him. “I’ll manage some minutes without you. I won’t be all alone after all. The doctors and nurses will be around me” he gave a nod

“Should you require or desire my presence anyways, please let me know” you rolled your eyes

“Now I sound like I’m seriously attached to you and can’t let go. I mean… I did miss you these days but I missed everyone. Still you in particular”

[diesoonandsuffer]

sp ock

genuinely the guy of all time. i purposefully saved this for last so i could think about it more and i still don't think i'm ready so here i go.

favorite thing about them

to quote kirk "of all the souls i've met in my travels, his was the most human." i love how proud he is of his vulcan heritage and how he tries to honor them but i also love the way he just cannot fight off his humanity. and the way he eventually learns to accept that part of himself as well, become not two split halves but rather one whole complete and complex person. he can have a moral code governed by logic and see the world through a lens of science while also having passion for the arts, having capacity for empathy, knowing when to take a different approach. like THE guy of all time genuinely

least favorite thing about them

that he doesn't jump on kirk's bones sooner!!!!

no i'm kidding mostly uhh i mean we could go into all of the ways this little guy is messed up like he is repressed he is contradictory he is too mean he is loyal to the rules to a fault. but also most of these things eventually change or shift? so by the end of his arc those things don't really stick. i guess i wish he would open up to more people other than just kirk and occasionally bones, i do wish i could see his other friendships thriving

favorite line

god he has so many good lines.....like both spirk related ones that make me insane but also regular lines from the show he has so many bangers. okay i'm going with this one:

"after a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. it is not logical, but it is often true." like okay go off king of gay yearning. he walked so tumblr could run

honorable mentions: "JIM!!!" and "they are not the hell your whales."

brOTP

him and uhura <3 any time i see fanart of them hanging out im like YEAH!!!!!

OTP

you are my superior officer. you are also my friend. i have been and always shall be yours.

nOTP

him and uhura </3 KELVIN TIMELINE I AM LOOKING DIRECTLY AT YOU

random headcanon

i have a hc that kirk was like involved in theater in starfleet academy somehow. i don't know if they met at the academy but if they did i think spock would go to his shows

unpopular opinion

i don't think we should be making more spocks like i'm sure these new shows are good but this man already has so much lore and has been made and remade so many times like he has 15 versions of himself WITHIN himself and none of them really feel the same or capture the original. like just leave him be lol

song i associate with them

the first song i thought of was cold, cold man by saint motel. it's basically about someone who does not show many grand or outward gestures of affection but is assuring their lover that they are the only thing that matters.

favorite picture of them

this one

[image ID: spock slunched over on a table, head on his hands, near tears.]

send me a tos or tng character!

[lenievi]

[McCoy/Spock] Bread and Circuses ficlet

I found an old thing from the time when I wanted to write Bread and Circuses related fic, but I don’t think I’m gonna work on it again anytime soon (or ever). Since I rewatched the episode yesterday and saw this in my folder, I decided to dump it here~ I hope you enjoy it! (even though it’s just a rewrite)

---

The booing coming from the loudspeakers in the arena grew louder, and the gladiators became frustrated, voicing their dissatisfaction with both Spock and McCoy. Spock knew he had the stamina to last for several hours, but McCoy was already brought to his knees. 

Spock’s stomach twisted. 

“Do you need any help, Doctor?” he called out to McCoy, watching him struggle under Flavius’s sword. 

Spock did not mean to anger McCoy, yet that was exactly what happened. Frustrated and furious, McCoy made several strikes at Flavius, shouting back at Spock. To Spock’s astonishment, as if the fury at him fueled McCoy’s tired body, McCoy got back on his feet.

Flavius seemed to lose his patience and attacked McCoy with all of his strength, charging at him with murderous slashes. McCoy stumbled and fell, Flavius’s sword aimed at his neck.

Something squeezed around Spock’s heart, and he attacked his opponent for the first time. Not thinking about the consequences, he disabled him quickly and raced across the arena. Avoiding Flavius’s slash at his torso, he immobilized him with a Vulcan nerve pinch.

They were immediately surrounded by guards, guns aimed at them. Spock glanced at the Observers’ Booth. He had broken the rules and endangered all of them – himself, McCoy, and Jim. The shame and guilt rose inside of him. By saving McCoy, he might have started an even worse fate for their captain.

-

Shame, guilt, anger, frustration, anxiety, worry. All of them stirring in Spock’s stomach, in his mind, as he tried to pull the iron bars loose. 

He put the Captain in danger. 

Spock had seen McCoy laying on the ground, a sharp blade mere inches from his neck, and Spock’s body acted on instinct. No thinking, no hesitation. It had not mattered if he was shot down by the guards. It had not mattered if he was struck down by a blade. McCoy was in danger, and Spock could not just stand by and let it happen. Not when he could prevent it, and a doctor’s life was more important than the life of the first officer.

But a captain’s life was above everyone else’s. They needed to escape and find him.

The bars rattled, but they did not move even an inch.

“Angry, Mr. Spock? Or frustrated, perhaps?” 

Spock was aware of McCoy’s eyes on him, but he wished he would not speak. Not now. Not when he could not afford any distractions.

“Such emotions are foreign to me, Doctor,” Spock said, keeping his voice cool. “I'm merely testing the strength of the door.”

“For the fifteenth time.” McCoy sounded amused.

Spock hid his irritation and continued looking for any weaknesses. They had no time for pointless conversation. They needed to escape. But McCoy had something else on his mind. He stood up and came to stand next to Spock.

“Spock, uh,” he started, his voice gentle. “I know we've… uh, had our disagreements.” 

The embarrassment in McCoy’s voice was most uncomfortable. Spock uselessly held onto the cold bars.

“Maybe they're jokes. I don't know. As Jim says, we're not often sure ourselves sometimes.” McCoy chuckled. 

Spock needed to make him stop. It was not the time. He did not want to remember. He did not want to be reminded. 

“But what I'm trying to say is—”

“Doctor, I am seeking a means of escape. Will you please be brief?”

Their eyes met. McCoy’s expression was defenseless, open, inviting. 

“Well, what I'm trying to say is you saved my life in the arena.”

McCoy’s smile brightened up his whole face. It was blinding. Feeling a strange flip in his stomach, Spock suppressed it. Hard. It needed to stop.

“Yes, that’s quite true,” Spock replied, cold and impatient.

As expected, McCoy’s soft, amiable expression fell, and he exploded. But Spock did not want McCoy’s gratitude. He did not want to be on the receiving end of McCoy’s emotions and warm feelings. Not when he was eaten from the inside by shame and guilt. Not when Spock had acted emotionally and run across the arena to save McCoy from certain death. 

Not when they could not be sure that their captain was safe.

“Doctor, you must remember I am entirely motivated by logic.” Spock was not sure who he wanted to convince. As he continued speaking, he felt McCoy’s heated gaze on him. He focused on loosening the bars again when McCoy pinned him to the wall by his shoulder. Spock let him. He knew he had lost.

McCoy’s quiet fury and intensity tore into Spock’s shields, cutting into every fiber of his being. McCoy was so close, the warmth radiating from his arm seeping into Spock’s shoulder. Spock could not bear to look at him. He turned towards the bars, and McCoy’s hand fell.

“Why, you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling.” Spock was aware that McCoy was deeply hurt by his refusal to accept McCoy’s gratitude. It radiated from him in waves, getting through Spock’s shields. He needed McCoy to step away.

Spock tightened his grip on the bars and focused his mind, repairing his shields. When he was sure his face did not betray his inner turmoil, he turned to McCoy. “Really, Doctor?” 

McCoy’s eyes flickered and he broke their eye contact, his whole body relaxing. There was an inexplicable sense of satisfaction that Spock managed to make McCoy finally give up. 

"I know," McCoy said. "I'm worried about Jim, too."

Both of them knew that the last minute had nothing to do with the Captain, but Spock accepted the truce gratefully.

[shutupanddance]

Bones / Reader — Remember Me

Hey my fellow fan fiction people, I have MAJOR writer’s block, and I really want to get these requests done, so I’m hoping that this will snap me out of it.

Warning: this is angst!!

How would Bones react to your death?

Normal text is present time, and blocks of italic text are memories!

Enjoy ;)

Dr. Leonard McCoy is experiencing a “slow day” in medbay. Not that there isn’t the occasional ensign coming in with a scrape or broken bone, but it’s nothing like when the away missions come back.

Speaking of away missions, you were on one now. You weren’t scheduled to come back for a week, though. You were a microbiologist, so your missions were usually much longer, and consisted of more time going back and forth between your lab on the Enterprise and the planet you were stationed on. 

The personnel staff realized pretty quickly that very little got done when you and McCoy were on a mission together. The doctor was so worried for his fiancé that he spent more time making sure you were safe than doing his job. So, it was a rare thing nowadays that you’d be put on a mission together.

Spock is suddenly in medbay.

“What are you doing here?” Leonard grumbles, glancing over his shoulder.

When Spock doesn’t respond immediately, he turns. Something is wrong, Leonard can tell. But whether Spock has a common cold or the ship is about to explode, he can’t tell.

“Captain Kirk requires your assistance on the bridge.” Spock states coolly. Odd.

“Are you sure? Can’t he just ask me through a holopad like everyone else-”

“Please come with me, doctor.”

Doctor McCoy follows, but he grumbles the whole way.

As soon as he’s in the elevator, another team rushes into medbay. They’re surrounding a gurney. And attached to that gurney is a heart monitor, which is beeping slow. Dangerously slow.

You’re not really sure why you got picked for the Enterprise. I mean, it’s Starfleet’s flagship, for crying out loud! But here you are, working away in one of the most advanced labs you’ve ever seen, floating many many miles from home.

You’re still processing all this when a beaker slips out of your hands, and shatters violently on the floor.

Luckily, no one else is in your lab right now. You stay calm, walking on careful feet, and retrieve a broom. As you’re sweeping, though, you realize blood is running down your fingers.

One of the shards of glass must have flown up and cut me, you realize.

You carefully wrap the small wound and apply pressure, then begin walking to medbay. 

The nurses don’t immediately notice you, probably because you’re just standing there looking like you’re out for an evening stroll, but soon enough one happens to glance directly at the gauze you have wrapped around your forearm.

“Oh, dear!” She says, guiding you to a bed. “Dr! Dr. McCoy!”

Out from a nearby office walks Dr. Leonard McCoy. He’s got dark hair, the most alert eyes you’ve ever seen, and damn he’s hot.

“What happened to you?” He grunts.

“Beaker broke. Shard of glass flew up and cut me. No other injuries, and there’s no glass in the wound. I was able to stop most of the bleeding, but I think I’ll need stitches.”

An eyebrow goes up.

“Alright, why don’t you sit down and I’ll take a look.”

You didn’t know it, but in that moment, Leonard McCoy nearly fell head over heels for you. And all he showed for it was a raised eyebrow.

The Captain will not stop insisting that he needs a plan for contagious diseases on the Enterprise.

“We already have one,” Leonard reminds him.

“But will it work? Do we have one for different situations? For instance, if we’re docked on a hostile planet-”

“Are you trying to keep me from my job!?” Leonard asks, more as a pointed jab, but when the room grows uncomfortably silent, he realizes he’s right on the money.

What else does he realize? That every face in the room looks forlorn. And a bit defeated.

“What’s got everyone so depressed?” He asks, swiveling to see the entire bridge crew. No one answers.

Finally, Spock clears his throat.

“We wanted to keep you away from medbay while the doctor’s worked on Y/N.”

There’s a moment, a brief moment, where Leonard’s brain stops working. And he’s paralyzed with fear. But, it doesn’t last for long.

“WHAT!?!”

Jim steps in.

“She was injured on the away mission. Some animal we’ve never seen before came out of nowhere and attacked.”

Bones is trying to get away.

“She saved everyone else’s lives by luring the beast away, doc,” one of the crew is saying, but he doesn’t care. He needs to get to you-

The door to the bridge rolls open. M’Benga is standing there.

And Leonard has never seen the man look so guilty, so distressed, so sad.

“Watch the Coreolis Anjankus!” You say, pulling a red shirt away from a very poisonous plant. You pass him to Dr. McCoy, who pushes him even farther away.

“I thought you were a microbiologist?” He chuckles.

“With a minor in botany!” You smile.

You were one of the few scientists Leonard found to be cool under pressure, and the only one with real common sense. Still, despite all you knew about the dangers of every planet, you were always completely relaxed. If he was being honest, the doctor envied you (just a little bit).

“Tell, me, how did you get stuck with this motley crew?” He asks, eyes trained on the Captain, watching for any dangers.

“I’m not really sure,” you admit. “They just sent me a message one day asking if I wanted to join.”

“And you said yes.”

“Of course I did! Have you seen the labs on the ship?!”

Leonard laughs.

“I’m a nerd, I know, but this assignment is everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”

Dr. McCoy finds himself staring at you, suddenly. He doesn’t really remember how he got here. All he can think of is the fact that your heart’s not beating. That your body is mangled and bloody and despite M’Benga attempting to close the wounds, you look horrible.

It seems ironic, almost, in that instant. The woman who never worried about anything is lying mauled in a biobed. Dead.

The medical idea of death has settled in Leonard’s mind. No beating heart, no brain activity. But what he can’t wrap his head around is you being gone. You’ve  always been there. And, for a moment, he’s convinced that if he sniffles too loud, you’ll hand him a tissue. If he mentions he’s hungry, you’ll wake back up, dig through your duffel bag, and pull some food out.

But you’re not moving.

“Where’s her duffel bag?” He asks, voice as loud and cranky as ever.

Kirk hands your bag over.

Bones reaches in, and digs around until he feels something soft. A teddy bear. He places it on your chest, and lifts your arms to hug it. The soft fur stains with blood.

It’s a horrific scene, the one in front of them.

A village destroyed by a massive storm system. Houses leveled, fields of crops uprooted, and hundreds of people injured or dying or dead.

But you’re standing there, cool and calm as ever, handing out blankets. You smile gently at each villager who steps up, and ask them in one of their native languages what else they need. You direct them to different crew members who can help.

One kid walks up, so young you have to crouch to be eye-level with them. He’s alone. And he looks so terrified, so empty, that you immediately wrap him in a hug. He clings on for dear life.

When he finally let’s go, you begin to explain to him that he needs to see the doctor. He shakes his head so hard you’re afraid his neck will snap. You say some more words in his language, and reach into your duffel bag.

You pull out a teddy bear. The boy smiles, ever so slightly, and immediately gives it a tight hug.

You speak encouragement at him, something about bravery, and the little boy makes his way over to the medical tent with his head held high.

All this Leonard watches. You look at him. He looks at you. And for a while, an unspoken respect passes between the two of you.

He asks you later why you had the teddy bear.

“I always have one on me,” you smile sadly. “You never know when you might need one.”

The ship docks at Command, and the usual celebratory revelries aren’t being heard. The crew is somber.

Your body, encased in a beautiful casket, is loaded onto a small carrier vehicle. Jim, Leonard, and Spock follow it as it weaves its way through the halls.

Your parents are there, and the funeral is quick. No one can really find the strength to say what they want to. No one can choke through their tears long enough to tell your story.

Bones is the last to leave. He watches your casket for hours, almost as if he’s waiting for you to spring out and laugh and kiss him, promising it’ll never happen again, promising you’ll never leave him…

He smiles. A memory-

The town of traders on this new small planet offered the Enterprise crew a place to stay overnight, and Kirk had agreed.

Their houses stood on stilts overlooking an ocean, and there were beautiful torches that burnt blue everywhere to light the paths. Bird-like creatures swooped through the town, twittering and squeaking.

You’re watching them silently through a window, a soft smile on your face. Leonard is sitting next to you on the bed, kissing your shoulder.

Two of the bird things get into a fight, and screeching is heard. Feathers fly.

You laugh, loud and unapologetic, as they tussle. Leonard laughs too. He’s smiling at you as you watch them, so completely wrapped up in how beautiful you are.

You fall back onto the bed, hair flying everywhere. You’re still giggling.

You look at your fiancé, enjoying watching him watch you. You feel comfortable. The house is warm and the blue firelight traces his face. The face of your love.

Leonard is wondering how on earth he landed you. How he convinced you to love him. But he truly has no idea. You’re lying there, eyes locked with his, gazing with so much love he feels he’s going to burst.

You lying there like that, hair spread out on the bed, a lazy smile on your face, eyes sparkling with the reflection of torches… he locks that picture in his mind.

And Leonard thinks that he’ll always remember you this way.

[ichayalovesyou]

~Act One: In Denial of Pon Farr~

Blood Moon~by Saint Sister, Madrid (Album)

“To return home, and take a wife… or die.”

Spock is feeling anxious and unusually lonely, more resentful of his complex heritage than usual. Feeling rejected, but not by Jim, he finds his thoughts wandering to T’Pring. Who he feels deep resentment toward, she hasn’t contacted once him in the two decades he’s been gone from Vulcan. He has yet to realize it is the beginnings of Pon Farr.

“I am sure, you craved me once before. When I think of all the fruit I’ve found, and how easily you left it on the ground.”

Evening On The Ground (Lilith’s Song)~by Iron & Wine, Woman King (album)

“I hoped that I would be spared this.”

Spock’s yearning and loneliness transforms into anger and frustration. He knows Pon Farr has begun, and he hates it. He has no desire to return to Vulcan, worse still, he loathes that he yearns for someone who he does not know. Worse still, she’s not the only one he’s longing for…

“We were born to fuck each other one way or another but I’ll, only lie, down by the water side at night”

I Want You (She’s So Heavy)~(Originally) by the Beatles, performed by the Cast of Across the Universe, Across the Universe (Album)

“How do Vulcans choose their mates… Haven’t you wondered?”

Spock cannot bear the tearing between Human & Vulcan halves that has come ferociously to light under the stress of Pon Farr. His duty is to that man on the bridge, but the call of Koonut Kalifee is only getting louder. He has no desire to burden Jim with horrible display of emotion. Yet desire is quickly becoming all that he can think about.

“I want you, I want you so bad, it’s driving me mad, it’s driving me mad.”

~Act Two: Blood Fever, The Nightmares of Plok’tow~

Howl~by Florence + The Machine, Lungs (Album)

“To have their logic ripped from them, as this time does to us.”

The first, foreboding rumblings of Plok’tow have begun. He dreams of a hunt, he’s chasing someone, he does not know who. Each time the blood of this faceless, slaughtered, ravaged victim is a different color, every time he turns around, green, red, green, red, green, red, green, red…

“Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins, I want to find you, tear out all your tenderness.”

The Horror of Our Love~by Ludo, You’re Awful, I Love You (Album)

“It strips away our veneer of civilization.”

The dreams are getting worse, more violent, detailed, intense. He knows his quarry-

Jim.

He tears his captain apart in a thousand visceral, grotesque ways, physically, mentally, no love, no hate, no want, just blinding hunger. And the most frightening part, he enjoys it. He begins withdrawing from Kirk, for fear of what may happen should dreams threaten to become reality.

“Carnivorous and lusting, I’ll track you down among the pines.”

Become the Beast~by Karliene, Become the Beast (Album)

“It is the Pon Farr, the time of mating.”

The last of his Blood Fever dreams occurs after Kirk confronts him about his behavior. This one is, much to Spock’s relief, not violent. The lyrics are spoken through the faces of fellow Vulcans- T’pring… childhood tormentors… Sybok… his cold and disapproving father… T’pau… Surak… himself.

The rage and hunger has cooled into ice rather than fire, for now.

“Do I terrify you? Do you feel alive? Do you feel the hunger? The desert howl inside?”

The Woods~by San Flemin, Jackrabbit (Album)

“You humans have no conception.”

When James Kirk grabbed the shiv from Spock’s hand in their confrontation, a shard of Spock’s Blood Fever came with it. Spock was spared a nightmare this final night, but not Jim. The dream even dared to be pleasant initially, alone together in the woods. Before the arena of Koonut Kalifee erupted violently around them, as did Spock. Yet, before Spock could deal the final killing blow, Kirk found himself sinking into the sparkling sands below. He startles from his slumber, feeling suffocated.

But he does not remember how, or why.

“The nights are lovely dark and deep, but I’ll appear when you’re asleep. You’ll wake up with a sudden hurt, your mouth and nose all full of dirt”

~Act Three: Kalifee, the Death of A Friend~

Take Me Down~by Brother, Pax Romana MMV (Album)

“I’ll get you to Vulcan somehow…”

All Jim knows is that Spock is getting worse, and that he needs him. Not knowing, and not daring ask whether the shiv was meant for himself or Spock haunts Kirk, as does the ghost of his forgotten dream. He does not know what will come of this wedding. Only that he will do whatever it takes to make certain Spock lives. No matter what, it’s a race against time.

“The powers that be, the powers that run you through, I’m taking a stand I know what it comes down to, God knows I do.”

Hunting Grounds (feat Joe Cotela of Ded)~by In This Moment, Mother (Album)

“He is deep in the Blood Fever, he will not speak with thee again.”

Kalifee has begun, Spock has completely lost himself to the Blood Fever, and Kirk must fight for his life. He finds himself outmatched by the environment, and by Spock’s rage. He knows two things, he has no desire to die, but he cannot, under any circumstances, kill Spock. (I imagine this duet could be as seen as Maria Brink=Kirk, Joe Cotela=Spock)

“Like a predator sink my teeth into your neck.”

Die Today~by The Txlips Band & Guitar Gabby, Queens of The New Age (Album)

“Kill Spock? That’s not what we came to Vulcan for is it?”

The Kalifee has been an intense drain, Kirk knows, deep down, that not even the “Triox Compound” could save him in this fight. He feels his life flash before his eyes, he bears no ill will toward Spock, he’s not in control of himself. He reflects on their relationship, and how much it has meant to him, and accepts, that for Spock to live, he has to die.

It was worth having known him, saving a friend isn’t the worst way to go out…

“If you die today, if we die today, at least I’d be in your arms.”

Pearl Diver~by Mitski, Lush (Album)

“You may find, that having, is not so pleasing a thing as wanting.”

Spock is absolutely distraught, he’s disgusted with himself, he loathes every single Vulcan he’s ever known, but most of all he is angry with Kirk. That he had to be the moth to his flame. How dare he want to get close to him! How dare James Kirk ever have the stupidity, the courage to love him?! The wanting had driven Jim to his death, and himself to murder. It was illogical, and he will never, forgive either of them for it. Curse having, curse wanting, and curse himself too.

“But hunter you were human don’t forget it and go safely. And I? I’ll live without you, though the struggle will be daily.”

Sweet Dreams~by JOSEPH, I’m Alone, No You’re Not (Album)

“I shall do neither, for I have killed my Captain, and my friend.”

Spock languishes in the agonizing hours between the Kalifee and confronting Bones about what must be done. He prays for a short and cruel life… and dares ponder the question, do Humans have Katras?

“I’ll return to my sleepless night, dreaming with my eyes open, watch the shadows play on the ceiling.”

[The final act is a little on the smutty side, here’s a read more just to be safe.]

~Act Four: The Need is Met~

To Be Alone~by Hozier, From Eden EP (Album)

“I shall offer no defense, their is no excuse for the crime of which I’m guilty.”

Though overjoyed and relieved that Kirk is alive, Spock continues to anguish over the reality that had Bones not intervened, he would have killed him. Jim knows better this time, he will not let Spock continue down this path. A tender and honest conversation puts salve to Spock’s fears. In any event, while the Kalifee burned away the Blood Fever, it becomes clear the needs of Pon Farr still remain. Kirk suggests, delicately, to put a new Bond in place of the old.

Spock accepts.

“You don’t know the hell you put me through, to have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you, to feel your weight in arms I’d never use.”

Mermaid’s Calling #2~by the Cast of The Lure, The Lure (Album)

“The ancient drives are too strong, eventually they catch up with us.”

The thrum of Bonding needs no words, it is not just a joining of minds, but of bodies as well. They complete one another, no thoughts, no voices are required. They soon find that the physiological differences between them can be more than a little… fascinating.

“…”

The Deep~by PHILDEL, Wave Your Flags (Album)

“One touches the other, in order to feel each other’s thoughts.”

The tangible, physical world of course has it’s pains and pleasures, to be joined physically is one thing, to be joined in soul and mind alongside those sensations is a different ordeal entirely. If this, completeness, is what it means to be Bonded, Kirk now understands why Vulcans go mad over it.

“Give me a sign ‘cause it runs through my mind like your heat, caught in the web you’re so easily lead to the deep.”

The Mermaid~by Kate Rusby, Life in A Paper Boat (Album)

“In this way, our minds are locked together...”

Unbeknownst to anyone else in the universe, James Kirk & S’chn T’gai Spock are now Bonded, and neither has ever felt less alone. For once, it does not matter to Spock that he is of two worlds, here, he is home. For once, Kirk does not feel as though he is forced to live the Enterprise’s life, this time, she helped him live his. A shining, blissful moment in the vast, expansive sea of stars that they have devoted their lives to exploring.

For them, the journey itself, is home.

“In peace now, the sea it comes, and peace now, in her arms where I’ll be love, sleeping in the sea.”

[spirkmemrspock]

fake dating with a little bit of there was only one bed?

Send me Spirk prompts

"Captain, I must myself declare much happiness to have found you not married,” Jim’s translator circuit provided, parsing Emperor Ohllak’s words in a somewhat clunky manner. “I, therefore, offer my beloved son's hand in marriage," the monarch exclaimed, motioning to the young prince to his side.

"Oh,” Jim gulped, surprised, “I'm sorry Emperor Ohllak, but I can't accept your offer."

"And why, in our Goddess Kuruna's name, can't you accept? Keep in mind Captain that in the great nation-land of Phnturia, refusing a royal's request is a war crime! I myself do not suppose the Federation would have sent a representative so willing to affront us!"

"Of course not, Ambassador. You see, the thing is... I…” Quick Jim, think of something! “I already have a boyfriend." Shit, not that!

"Boyfriend? You have a male... friend? I do not understand how this impedes you from marrying my Aanya."

"Well, you see...Emperor Ohllak...That is why we've arrived at this misunderstanding.” Fuck, Jim thought, he was only stalling at this point. Sometimes I can’t believe the things that come out of my stupid mouth. “I'm not married. But… I'm also not... single."

"You Captain have an intended?" The prince suggested helpfully, making Jim almost want to kiss him in the mouth.

"Yes! Yes, Aanya. You could say that I have an intended."

"And where is this intended, Captain Kirk? It is a terrible omen to travel without your spouse or spouse-to-be,” the Emperor boomed, shaking his vibrant tentacles vigorously as this species seemed to do when in agitation. “Oh, the great nation-land of Phnturia does not wish to form relations with beings of bad fortune!"

"Well, h-he—" Yeah, Jim, you dumbass, where is your imaginary fantastical boyfriend—

"He is right here.” Jim immediately knew whose voice it was behind him but still couldn’t help turning around in alarm. “I am the Captain's intended."

*

"Gods, Spock. You really saved my ass back there,” Jim gushed as they entered the guest quarters offered to them. “I don't know how to thank you enough. And I'm sorry that my little ruse means you're now forced to bunk with me."

"No thanks or apologies are necessary, Captain. It was Commodore Oh's responsibility to brief us on the details about the Phnturians traditions and values. And her office, as of late, has failed to do so."

"You really have a bone to pick with Oh's new tactical officer, don’t you,”

“I have ‘a bone’, as you say, Captain, with inefficiency and incompetence.”

“Wow, inefficiency and incompetence, even for you that’s hard. You must really be upset about our sleeping arrangements."

“No, Captain, that is not—”

“Relax, Spock. I’m just messing with you. Besides, we’ve shared quarters before it’s no big deal, right? Although...” Jim trailed off as he took in properly the room’s sleeping alcove. The smell of the room was divine, like vanilla, lavender, and strangely, freshly cut grass. There was no bed frame or mattress, only an elevated platform with a silk tent filled with an assortment of colorful pillows and quilts; the path leading up to it covered in white petals. There were also no artificial lights of any kind because the walls in that corner were completely transparent, letting the planet’s two moons loom brightly over them. He had never seen one, but Jim imagined that was how the newlyweds’ suites in a pleasure planet looked like. “Phnturians really go all out for couples, huh.” He turned to Spock but for some reason couldn’t look him straight in the eyes. “So, right tent side or left?”

*

Jim laid on his back staring at Phnturia's starry sky through the sheer fabric of their tent. He had tried miserably to fall asleep until he resigned himself to count shooting stars. His bed partner was turned away from him, completely still, but he somehow knew Spock was also awake.

The mission had been a success, the Emperor had lost interest in Jim's marital status and accepted the Federation's proposal for a mutually beneficial deal trade. But at what cost, Jim thought to himself. Spock had rescued him willingly from his loose tongue, only to give Jim the cold shoulder for the remainder of negotiations. Jim tried joking about their situation in an attempt to clear the air between them, but Spock was too far gone into the stiff and mechanical demeanor reminiscent of their earlier days. And just when Jim thought he'd started warming up to him.

"I'm sorry, Spock," Jim finally murmured, he couldn't stand the abyss that had formed between them any second longer. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable today. I don't even know why I said what I said."

"Apologies are unnecessary,” said Spock, back still turned to him.

"No. They are necessary when I have clearly crossed a boundary here. I know how much you guard your personal life and I as your captain, and friend, ought to never force you into a compromising position. Plus, you were forced to back me up on this lie when Uhura was right there,” Jim sighed. “And now you can’t even share a room on a gorgeous planet with your gorgeous girlfriend.”

“Jim.” Spock finally turned around to face him, brown furrowed in confusion.“ Lt. Uhura and I have terminated our relationship 5.2 months ago.”

“Wait, what? Well, ok. I didn’t know that, but anyway, my point still stands. I just want things to go back to normal between us." Spock remained silent, avoiding Jim’s gaze. "Talk to me, Spock. Please. I can't know what's going on in your head unless you talk to me."

"I do not... I do not wish for things to go on as before."

"You...?" Jim swallowed hard. "You don't want to work with me anymore?"

"No, Jim. On the contrary, the notion of being... involved with you in an amorous manner was extremely appealing to me. And for that, I am the one who must apologize. I am the one who crossed a boundary. I have already begun drafting my transfer papers and—"

Spock never got to finish his sentence because Jim stopped him with the only way his dumbass brain could come up with at that moment: with his own mouth.

.

.

.

"What now?"

"Now, Jim?"

"Yeah, what do we do? This doesn't have to, um, complicate things, if you don't want it to."

"I believe we do not have to do anything."

"Yeah, you're right, it was stupid of me to assume—"

"Since we have told our entire landing party I am your 'intended', and those officers have by now passed on this information to the whole crew, I believe we must continue to act accordingly. Lest we are accused of spreading falsehoods."

"Yeah, Mr. Spock, we can’t lie to our crew."

“No, we cannot, Jim.”

[treksickfic]

The City on the Edge of Forever

I’m so excited to share this with you, anonymous requester! After you sent in your prompt, I had another anonymous reader get in touch with me to let me know they’d already written a story that matched your wishes exactly. 

The author of this story is French, not a native English speaker, and they’ve written a beautifully touching story that expands on the TOS episode, City on the Edge of Forever.  I am posting it here on my blog, with their permission, because they do not wish to have an account nor have their identity attached to the story. This writer has already become dear to me and I’m honored that they trusted me with their writing. I hope you enjoy it!

It’s a long story, nearly 3,000 words, so RIP to your dash if you’re on mobile.  I didn’t want to post it on AO3 or anywhere else except my blog, which feels safer.

Trigger warning for panic attack and trigger warning for some mild emeto, if you’re sensitive to that. It’s not very graphic.

“James Kirk, I demand an explanation!”

Scotty, Uhura, the teleportation technicians, and the security guards were completely dumbfounded by the doctor's explosion. They watched the captain stagger off, livid, as if he had been punched in the stomach. He disappeared without a word, with long stiff steps, from the room.

“Jim!” yelled McCoy.

 “Not now, doctor.” Spock's cold, dry voice stopped him.

Spock squeezed McCoy’s arm firmly and Scott was sure to read in his black eyes a burst of fury. McCoy noticed it too, because despite the storm of his own eyes, he remained silent.

“Everyone, at your posts,” declared the Vulcan. “Scott, you are in charge for now.”

“Yes, sir.” Scotty nodded, refraining from asking any questions.

As soon as they had come through the Time Gate, seconds after they left, it seemed, but many weeks later for them, he had seen that they were not fine at all. The captain was pale, deaf to their questions, obviously struggling with the tears that filled his eyes. The doctor was just as white, his face contracted with a terrible anger. As for Spock, he kept his eyes fixed on Jim, his usual indifference altered by deep and obvious concern.

What the hell had happened?

This is precisely the question McCoy yelled at Spock, pulling himself brutally out of his grip as they entered his office, safe from prying ears:

“Damn it, Spock!”

 “If you calm down, doctor, maybe I could explain.”

 “Calm down? CALM DOWN? Shit, Spock! How do you want me to calm down?”

 “Breathing. Deep, and slowly. Start by sitting down.”

 “Don't fuck with me!”

 “The Vulcans don't fuck with people. Now, please calm down.”

 Jim killed someone without thought. There's no way I can calm down. Shit!”

Spock gritted his teeth and an aura of icy disappointment emanated from him:

“Jim killed someone without thought...do you get along, doctor? You've been aboard this ship for over a year. You even pretend to be the captain's friend. How can you accuse him of this without thinking for two seconds?”

 “I saw it ! He prevented me from—"

“--and your poor little mind preferred to give in to this abject emotion rather than try to find a logical explanation. Jim, the most compassionate man we know…would he have acted like this for no reason?”

These words had the effect of a cold shower on McCoy. He shook his head, gradually coming to himself. He hadn't actually thought for a single moment, mired in a nauseating fury that he hadn't even tried to control. Shame replaced anger and he sagged in his seat and closed his eyes for a moment.

The past few weeks had been a total blur. He had woken up in a room with antique furniture, with an adorable woman at his bedside: Edith Keeler. It had taken him some time to realize that she was neither a hallucination nor a very good actress, but that he was indeed in a different era. Back in the 1930s. And he had barely had time to figure it out and come out of the bedroom to find answers before Jim and Spock, overjoyed, fell on him.

The next second Edith was dead. And it was Kirk's fault., He had kept him from coming to her aid. It had been too much emotion, too quickly and too soon. He had not managed to digest it, even less to understand anything other than what he had seen:

Jim had killed Edith.

But now that Spock had brought him back to reality, it all seemed absurd. And he noticed certain details: His friend's trembling when he held him; the tears in his green eyes when he leaned against the wall; Spock's unusually soft words when he had defended Jim, "he knows doctor, he knows."

How could he have seen nothing? Holding back a moan, he confronted Spock's stern face again:

“Explain it to me.”

“I'll do it quickly. In the timeline of our current story, Edith Keeler dies in 1930. In the one you walked through, paranoid after the cordrazine syringe accident, her ideals of peace and openness reach Roosevelt's ears and America becomes a peaceful country. That prevents its involvement in the second world war. Germany wins and dominates the world. Our time, therefore, does not exist.”

“Oh.”

“By the time you got there, after roughly locating your destination, we got to know Edith. A very charming woman, particularly intelligent.”

“And, Jim—"

“Was deeply in love with her. But for the good of a whole world and not solely himself, he let her die and prevented you from committing irreparable damage.”

“My god.”

McCoy put his head in his hands, overcome with excruciating guilt. Spock watched him, suppressing the harsh words that itched on his lips. The man had realized his mistake. It was useless to add more in the current state. He sighed for a long time, feeling unpleasantly empathetic towards Jim. He admired the way the man had managed to silence all of his instincts to save everyone:

“You should go see him, doctor. I think leaving him alone right now is not the best solution. Especially since he slept and ate very little while we were on earth, and even less after he realized that Edith had to die. He was ill several times during the night. He needs help.”

“Perhaps it is better ... Chapel—”

“No, Leonard,” Spock said, as kindly as he could. “He needs you.”

McCoy let out a deep sigh. He felt silly, and unforgivable. But for the sake of his friend, and indirectly, the sake of the crew, he knew Spock was right. Grabbing his medical equipment, he left in the direction of the captain's quarters.

 *****

Jim rested his forehead against the cool edge of the toilet. The doctor's words were circling in his mind, adding further weight to his overwhelming grief. He felt sick, his stomach as tight as his chest. A discomfort that had become familiar over the past few days. The intense nausea that rolled and rolled, threatening at every moment to overflow was a most unpleasant physical manifestation of his stress.

Despite his efforts to conserve food that was already scarce in their daily life in 1930, there were times when he couldn't do anything about it. Nightmares woke him in an agonizing sweat, on the verge of ruining the atrocious coarse cover of their flop.

He managed each time to sneak into the bathroom before returning the meager pittance with spasms he tried to silence. He also appreciated the discretion of Spock, who had the delicacy of pretending to sleep when Jim returned to his bed several minutes later, breathless and exhausted. But now that he was alone, aboard the Enterprise, he had no reason to contain himself, and did not fight the gagging that came out violently, like revenge for being held back so long. His stomach, however empty, kept revolting, replacing his sobs with endless contractions.

He had barely activated the door to his quarters when they had started, and he had yielded to the spasms with some relief. As unpleasant as vomiting was, his whole body tense and sore as he curled up over the toilet, at least it kept him from thinking about it. Being sick kept his mind on constant alert, focusing his attention on the spasms, gasps, bile, burning and kept the fear away. Unbearable, interminable, but ... secondary.

He coughed cautiously, catching his breath, feeling even sicker from the pungent smell that hung around him…the smell as horrible as the way he felt. This place of suffering and abandonment suited him.

He leaned over awkwardly when the bile passed his throat for the umpteenth time and spilled out in a long convulsion. He grabbed his stomach and closed his eyes so he couldn’t see the mess coloring the water again. The dizziness began to build, the light becoming unbearable as a migraine took hold of his temples, seeping through to his sinuses. He shivered, trying to reach for the chase to vent some of his weakness, when a hand rested on his forehead. Incredibly cool, it brought such comfort that he could not suppress a fragile sigh.

Tenderly the hand placed a damp cloth on the back of his neck and then finally came to cover his eyes. There was the terribly aggressive sound of the toilet flushing, then a voice whispering for the light to drop to 20%.

That voice ...

His comfort immediately ceased, replaced by anguish. He coughed sharply, spitting out more bile in an effort to shake off the impending grief. He could do nothing against the intense tremors that made him gasp, nor the panicked sob that burst through the vomiting.

“Shhh, Jim.” The voice was a broken whisper. “Shhh, everything is fine.”

Kirk wanted to yell at him to go away, to leave him, not to hurt him anymore. Irrationally afraid of the anger that had rained over him earlier at the prospect of having to face reality. Instead he could only moan, shaken by a horrible, nauseating cough.

Feeling Jim shake and panic under his fingers, McCoy was crushed by an intense wave of guilt. He had seen Jim gripped with grief, stress, drunkenness, anger... but never so completely. It was the first time he seemed ... broken ... and it was largely his fault.

The abnormal heat radiating from his skin indicated a high fever and explained his lack of self control. McCoy took a syringe out of his bag and spoke in a very soft voice so as not to hurt his friend's headaches.

“Jim, I'm going to inject you with a painkiller, it'll help you relax.”

He had no other answer than a small hiccup and a burst of bile.

Nervous vomiting, McCoy noticed. It was serious. He was going to have to play it safe to get the captain to calm down enough to free himself from his sadness and he hoped the hypo would act quickly. He thrust the syringe into his biceps and took advantage of the slight respite that followed to quickly run the medical tricorder over Jim’s upper body.

The latter told him what he already knew: extreme stress, high fever, deficiencies in iron and magnesium, low blood pressure...nothing to indicate a gastric bug apart from weakness due to deficiencies, which reinforced his theory of psychogenic nausea.

McCoy was relieved to find that the sedative had done its work: Jim was shaking less and seemed more lucid.

“Bones...what--?”

Bones. So he didn't blame him. This man's empathy would kill him eventually, the doctor thought. He put a protective arm around the Jim’s shoulders and another under his chest to support him. He could feel the angry stomach muscles that continued to struggle and tighten. He gave a sad little smile.

“We are going to talk about all this. But first, we are going to get out of this horrible room. You need to lie down.”

“Um, that's not safe,” Jim grimaced with a little hiccup.

“I'll take a bucket, but I want you to lie down. Doctor's orders.”

 “If it's an o-order,” he stammered, in a slight attempt at humor.

Jim allowed himself to be helped without opening his eyes, too ill to protest, and too weak to fend for himself. Bones almost carried him to his bed.

Once lying down, McCoy carefully removed Jim’s boots and socks, pulled up a wonderfully warm blanket and put a cloth on his forehead. Then Jim heard the familiar whirr of the tricorder passing once more over his body and finally the sound of several mixes. Careful fingers rested on his right temple.

“Can you open your eyes?”

“Urgh, Bones, I'll throw up if I open them.”

“There is a bucket, don't hold back. I need you to look at me.”

Jim groaned but obeyed. The light, even though very dim, made him moan in pain. It penetrated his head like a blade and triggered, as announced, a violent nausea.

McCoy held him very gently as he threw up a thin trickle of bilious saliva. He fell completely exhausted on the pillow once the attack was over. The doctor muttered something unintelligible and wiped his face.

“I should send you to the infirmary, Jim. You have serious deficiencies and that added to the stress...this is a perfect combination for a migraine in due form. I'll put you on an IV to regulate your sugar levels and give you a strong pain reliever. It should help you feel better.”

Once everything was in place, a tactical, hesitant silence settled between them. Jim could feel his presence, sitting on the edge of the bed rather than a chair, and the warm, warm hand pressed to his shoulder. The exhaustion and sadness rose in power now that the disease could no longer build its walls around his mind. He saw Edith again. Edith and her sweetness, her love, her joy, her magnificent ideas.

"She's fair ... but not at the right time," Spock had said, trying to make her listen to reason when he...he told her that she had to...die. He had desperately looked for another way but...but—

He clenched his teeth, overtaken by the intensity of the pain. By the gesture. He had even been unable to look at her body. He had not turned around, refusing to see what he had just done, struck head-on by the horror and disgust emanating from the doctor.

He swallowed, feeling the tremors start again, the despair skyrocketing. McCoy, hearing the gasps in his friend's tight breath, tightened his grip on his shoulder.

“I ... I loved her...Bones—"

A tear gathered in the corner of his eye and he sniffled, trying to pull himself together:

“Jim,” McCoy whispered, his own emotions rising. “I ... I don't even know how to apologize.”

“You have nothing to excuse. You are right. I ... killed her.”

“No. You saved our world. You did what you had to.”

“Oh, you spoke to Spock,” Jim whispered with a bitter smile.

“Yes.”

Despite the darkness, McCoy could see the paleness growing and the captain's face tightening with the effort to hold back the sobs. He searched for a moment for words he could say to alleviate the pain. Not finding them, he shook his head.

Jim tried to speak, with difficulty. “I shouldn't—”

“You have the right to be sad. You just lost the one you love in an act of unimaginable courage. Jim, I'm an overly impulsive old fool, I can't even imagine what you've been through and I sincerely ask forgiveness for this unjustified anger.”

“Please, Bones—"

“No, let me finish. Thank you for your understanding, but you don't have to. I acted like an idiot.”

“You couldn't have known.”

“That's no excuse. I know you and should have taken a step back.”

“What is done is done.”

“Jim, what I'm trying to say is that you must not let my emotionally spoken words get to you. You didn't deserve it.”

“I...I searched and searched...and searched again. I couldn't get away from her even when I knew that—”

“You were in love.”

“No, Bones. I'm in love. A selfish person who regrets choices that he shouldn't regret.”

“You are human, and you are suffering. Let it go.”

Another tear rolled down, then another, and finally it was a torrent that poured into the pillow. The captain put a hand over his mouth to silence the gasps of despair and the overwhelming agony of loss. Bones gripped his shoulder, patting it in a comforting gesture. He watched Jim sob like a child, breathing laboriously through exhaustion and mourning. Then he gradually calmed down until he fell into a deep sleep.

The doctor sighed and wiped away his own tears that had started at the same time as his friend's, and that he had not tried to stop. He readjusted the IVs and scanned Jim’s body for the third time. His fever was still high from a mild viral infection after several weeks in the cold and fatigue undernourishment. Jim would be off for a few days and stay in bed.

When he left the room, the doctor was not surprised to find Spock standing and waiting with arched eyebrows.

“How is he?”

 “Exhausted and cold, but fine.”

 “Has he been able to express his sorrow?”

 “I guess, yes.” McCoy smiled, thinking of his friend's relaxed face as he left the room.

“And were you able to express yours?”

The doctor jumped slightly, not at all prepared for this question, much less for Spock to say it. He was sometimes pleasantly surprised by the well-hidden sensitivity of his Vulcan friend. A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed it.

“You are about to cry.”

“Damned be your insight, Mister Spock,” the doctor growled, a little annoyed.

“Humans all must cry at one time or another to get better, doctor. I do not understand why you put a manly bulwark in front of this natural mechanism.”

Bones laughed. “Wouldn't you find it embarrassing for me to break down in tears right now in your arms?”

He expected Spock to answer him, "Vulcans don't know the gene, doctor." Instead he replied, in his usual relaxed and serene tone, “If that makes you feel better, no.”

Such compassion was so strange that it almost seemed out of place. Leonard burst out into a frank laugh that turned without realizing it into a flood of tears. Tears of his own sadness this time, not empathy or guilt. Sadness he didn't think he had. Maybe he was also a little in love with Edith after all. And that the Vulcan understood it well before him.

Spock, moreover, did not pretend to leave, contenting himself to stay by his side until McCoy’s tears turned back into laughter.

“Why are you laughing?” the first officer asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, Mister Spock, because I’m thinking of the absurd spectacle we would have made if someone had been there. The ship's doctor weeping like a baby in front of a motionless Vulcan and their captain's closed door.”

Spock coughed and McCoy would swear to anyone who wanted to hear it that he was blushing.

“Well, you're not a hopeless case,” he said with a smirk, patting him on the shoulder. “Thanks, Spock.”

Then he turned on his heel towards the infirmary without hearing the relieved sigh of his alien friend.

[to-boldly-nope]

Royalty- TOS Spock x Fem!Reader

Plot: {requested by @groovyfluxie} A fem!reader x TOS! Spock where they dress up as Snow White and Prince Florian for a costume party on the Enterprise

Words: 1010 ;)

A/N: I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS ONE OMG yikes yikes yikes. But let's all thank GroovyFluxie because without them then I would still only have one TOS Spock imagine. Also I found some costumes on Pinterest that add a dramatic touch to them especially Snow White's dress

Everyone was confused by Kirk's sudden announcement of a costume party. Maybe because he knew that everyone was tense and stressed or maybe he just wanted the crew to have fun.

"I think we should go in a couple's costume," you stated to Spock over lunch, causing him to furrow his brows in confusion.

"I do not understand. People know we are a couple so why would we show up in couple's costume?"

"That's the thing! We're a couple and they're expecting us to show up like that! I think the crew would be disappointed if we don't."

"Are you two discussing costumes?" Kirk asked while sitting his tray down next to Spock.

"Yes, Jim," Spock sighed.

"Great, I needed the help. Should I go as a tiger or Frankenstein?"

"Frankenstein is more of your style, James," you pointed out.

"I was leaning towards that one anyway," Kirk smiled sweetly at you. "What are you two going as?"

"Don't know yet," you shrugged while picking at your salad. "I'm trying to convince Spock for us to do couple's costumes."

"If you don't Mr. Spock, then I'll get you for mutiny."

You laughed as Spock rolled his eyes. "If you two will excuse me."

Spock left to you and Kirk laughing until your faces were red.

~

"Spock, I spent a long time on your costume and if you don't wear it then I'll be upset!" You called while fixing your sleeve puffs.

Spock came out and he looked like he wanted to hide, but he looked handsome nonetheless.

"My dear prince, you look so handsome," you gushed. "We're gonna be the talk of the party!"

"(Y/N), I still do not understand, why are we fictional characters?" He asked while walking up to you, his red cape swishing behind him.

"Because it's a costume party and when people dress up in costume then they dress up as fictional characters. It's how it's always has been. Now if we don't hurry then we're going to late," you frowned, upset as to why it felt like he didn't want to be seen with you in costume.

"Your outfit is very pleasing tonight, Snow White. Your presence will leave them in awe," he complimented while bring your hand up and kissing your knuckles.

You both left your quarters and down to the conference room. People were dressed from silly to scary to cute to sexual. Sulu was dressed as a sunflower, Scotty was a tin man, Chekov was a vampire, Bones was a cowboy, Uhura was a cat, and Kirk was Frankenstein.

"Should I bow before royalty," Bones teased with a slight bow.

"Not necessary, Doctor," Spock simply stated before dragging you along. There was food and music and plenty of conversation. People stared as the two of you walked together, admiring the beauty of your costumes.

Spock followed you to the food table and you saw a bowl full of apples. "Hey, Spock, apples."

"I am concerned for you, Ashayam," he sighed as he watch you start a conversation with Uhura.

"So, Spock, you actually did it," Kirk said slyly as he walked up to the Vulcan.

"It was the logical thing to do. After all, (Y/N) did spend most of her nights making these. It would be illogical to disappoint her."

Spock kept his eye on you as you twirled around for Uhura, the bottom of your dress poofing out from the movement. You wore a black wig with a red bow. He admired the lipstick color you chose, not too bright and not too dark. He believed that you were the most elegant person there.

"She did an amazing job on you, Prince Florian. Watch out for poison apples," he joked before leaving to talk to other crew members. You walked back over to Spock with a blush on your face.

"My dearest prince, may I have this dance?"

He grabbed your hand and put his other hand on your waist and began to slow dance to the song. People around the room stopped to watch you and Spock dance. Such an odd sight for their first officer.

He spun you around and brought you back into him. His cape and the bottom of your dress flowed elegantly. Snow White and Prince Florian. Spock and (Y/N). You always wanted a prince when you were a little girl and now you found one.

"Would you be mad if we acted put that one scene in Snow White? The last part of it where the prince comes and saves her and they live happily ever after?"

Spock didn't know what to say, but instead he smiled a smile only visible to you. "So beautiful, even in death, the dwarfs could not find it in their hearts to bury her."

Nobody mattered anymore. Who cared if this was a costume party? You found your prince.

"They fashioned a coffin of glass and gold, and kept eternal vigil at her side."

"The Prince, who had searched far and wide, heard of the maiden in the glass coffin. He went to visit her and wept internally when he saw her in eternal slumber."

"He slowly removed the lid of the casket and ran his hand across Snow White's cold cheek," you said while grabbing his hand from your waist and put it against your cheek. "The Prince knew that this will be his final goodbye."

"The Prince laid a kiss on her red lips. He did not expect anything to happen, but once the girl awoke, his heart leapt with joy. Soon, he asked Snow White's hand in marriage and they lived-"

"Happily ever after," you both said at the same time.

You slowly smiled at him, "If I could be honest, I'm no princess."

"Illogical, you have more beauty and grace than Snow White. You are indeed a princess."

"Oh, Spock," you blushed before you kissed him, earning hollers from the crowd.

"Ashayam, if I may remind you, we are in public," he mumbled against your lips.

"Who cares, we're royalty tonight."

[starfleetimagines]

Mobile Masterlist

I figured it might be easier for my readers to find my previous imagines if I make a mobile masterlist that I update at the same time as I update my desktop one. So here it is! I’ll add to it when I post new imagines, so it should always be up to date. Some imagines are listed in multiple series if the character is found in both - like Q or Pike, for example.

If you enjoy my work, please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi (it’s as low as $1CAD and it’ll go towards my education funds) or check out my commissions! Please check my bio and title to see if requests are open before requesting.

Alternate Original Series/The Original Series:

Being Leonard “Bones” McCoy’s younger sister would include…

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - “Have you lost your damn mind?!”

Being Jim Kirk’s twin would include…

Jim Kirk - “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.”

Jim Kirk - “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - mismatched uniforms

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - you get hurt

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - medical anxiety

Montgomery “Scotty” Scott- “That’s a promise.”

Leonard “Bones” McCoy- flirting in sickbay

Pavel Chekov - Period Cuddles

Pavel Chekov - Moving Forward

Jim Kirk - Family

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - Shore Leave

Montgomery “Scotty” Scott - Open Waters

Dating Leonard “Bones” McCoy Would Include…

Being Pavel Chekov’s Betazoid Wife Would Include…

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - Study Date

Spock and Uhura’s Wedding Would Include…

Leonard “Bones” McCoy - Dance Practice

Pavel Chekov - Set Up

The Enterprise Crew Finding Out You’re Bisexual Would Include…

Montgomery “Scotty” Scott x Jayla - Graduation

Spock and Uhura Having A Baby Would Include...

Spock - “To say that was unexpected is an understatement.”

Spock - Fireplace

Deep Space Nine:

Julian Bashir - “Cuddle me.”

Julian Bashir - “It’s almost midnight.”

Julian Bashir - “Just kiss me.”

Odo - “Are you hurt?”

Julain Bashir - “Please hold me.”

Benjamin Sisko - “How do you cope?”

Garak - “I’ll keep you warm.”

Dukat - you get hurt trying to defend him

Odo - you’re his adopted child

Miles x Keiko x Reader - Sunflowers

Julian Bashir - Insecurities

Enemies To Lovers With Odo Would Include…

Garak - Pregnant

Garak - Lulled To Sleep

Quark (platonic) - Marital Advice

Garak - “So, you like me?”

Garak - Rescue Party

Julian Bashir - Growing Family

Garak - Presents

Ezri Dax x Julian Bashir - Moving In

Julian Bashir (platonic) - Worries

Kira Nerys - Stress

Kira x Dax - Pride Month

Weyoun - “I don’t understand.”

Nog x Jake - Pleasure

Weyoun - “You’re the only one for me.” [NSFW]

Weyoun - “Please wake up.”

Enemies to Lovers With Kira Nerys Would Include...

Weyoun 6 Living on the Station Would Include...

Worf x Jadzia - “I love us.”

Weyoun - “Why did you take that shot for me?”

Cuddling With Weyoun Would Include...

Discovery:

Gabriel Lorca - “Did I stutter?”

Ash Tyler - “I need you.”

Saru - Christmas Gifts

Saru - You’re Overworked

Michael Burnham - “That was hot.”

Michael Burnham - She Saves Your Life

Saru - Confidence Boost

Christopher Pike - Longing

Christopher Pike - Longing part 2

Sylvia Tilly - Romance In Sickbay

Saru - Homesick

Ash Tyler x Michael Burnham - “Breathe with me.”

Christopher Pike - You’re In Labour

Being Saru’s First Officer and Best Friend Would Include...

Spock - “To say that was unexpected is an understatement.”

Enterprise:

Jonathan Archer - “Leave her alone.”

Malcolm Reed - you’re his sister

Trip Tucker - de-con talks

Malcolm Reed - PDA

Jonathan Archer - jefferies tube acoustics

Jonathan Archer - “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”

Jonathan Archer - “For some reason, I’m attracted to you.”

Dating Jonathan Archer would include…

Malcolm Reed - “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”

Being friends with Trip Tucker would include…

Jonathan Archer - “Go then, leave! See if I care!”

Malcom Reed - “Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”

Trip Tucker - you’re shy

Jonathan Archer - “I thought you were dead.”

Malcolm Reed - you’re taken hostage

Trip Tucker - sleepless nights

Malcolm Reed - “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”

Jonathan Archer - “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

Being Trip Tucker's  twin would include…

Malcolm Reed - “Go then, leave! See if I care!”

Jonathan Archer - dress shopping

Jonathan Archer - pillow fights

Trip Tucker being your boss would include…

Cheering Jonathan Archer up would include…

Phlox - you avoid him

Jonathan Archer - nightmares

Helping Trip Tucker in engineering would include…

Jonathan Archer - horseback riding

Malcolm Reed - cuddles after a mission

Jonathan Archer - hideouts

Malcolm Reed - “Because I love you.”

Phlox - Trip sets you two up

Jonathan Archer - “This shuttle was roomier before I realized I’m attracted to you.”

Malcolm Reed - “Can I kiss you?”

Malcolm Reed - sexting on PADDs

Phlox - you hide an injury from him

Trip Tucker - “It was just a dream.”

Jonathan Archer - “Am I dreaming?”

Trip Tucker - “I just want you to hold me.”

Malcolm Reed - Emotional Trauma

Malcolm Reed - He Sees Your Scars

Trip Tucker - “Thank God you’re okay.”

Malcolm Reed - You’re Ill

Malcolm Reed - “I don’t fit in.”

Trip Tucker - Restless Nights

Enemies To Lovers With Malcolm Reed Would Include…

Malcolm Reed - Labouring Mission

Trip Tucker - Jealousy [NSFW]

Dating T'Pol Would Include…

Malcolm Reed - Nightmares

Trip Tucker - Tension

Malcolm Reed - Destiny

Malcolm Reed - “I’m broken.”

Malcolm x Trip - Caught [NSFW]

Shran - Blue Boy

Trip x T'Pol - New Life

Malcolm Reed - The Way I See You

Malcolm Reed - Confessions

Being Trip Tucker’s Sibling and Jonathan Archer’s Partner Would Include…

Trip Tucker - Helping Hand

Being Pregnant With Phlox’s Baby Would Include...

Malcolm Reed - Destressing [NSFW]

Jonathan Archer - Too Busy

Trip Tucker - “You can’t protect me forever.”

Malcolm Reed - Mistletoe

Picard:

Chris Rios - “Thank you for not dying.”

Elnor - Quiet Time

Strange New Worlds:

Christopher Pike - Longing

Christopher Pike - Longing part 2

Christopher Pike (platonic) - Mentor

Christopher Pike - Brink of Death

Spock - “To say that was unexpected is an understatement.”

Spock - Fireplace

The Next Generation:

Falling in love with Data would include…

Dating Data would include…

Data - “Is there a special reason as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”

Data - you tell Tasha and Deanna about your crush

Worf - “You did this for me?”

Data - pet names

Data - “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”

Jean-Luc Picard flirting with you would include…

Q loving you would include…

Being friends with Worf would include…

Jean-Luc Picard - he realizes he loves you

Data - “When I picture myself happy … it’s with you.”

Will Riker - midnight visits

Will Riker being a father figure to you would include…

Data - he protects you

Data - bathing with the emotion chip

Data - you repair him

Will Riker - cuddles

Dating Wesley Crusher would include…

Data - he teaches you how to fight

Will Riker - “I’m sorry I had to kick you out when you were possessed.”

First time with Jean-Luc Picard would include…

Data - “I think I forgot how to breathe.”

Q - “You’re so hot when angry.”

Wesley Crusher - “You said my name in your sleep.”

Data - you get caught kissing

Data - hometown trip

Data - stuck on a cold planet

Will Riker- “If I die, I’m coming back to haunt you.”

Deanna Troi crushing on a girl would include…

Data - “Are you hurt?”

Reginald Barclay - Fencing

Reginald Barclay - Unexpected

Data - Teacher

Deanna Troi - Feeling Down

Data - First Meetings

Wesley Crusher - Hidden Talents

Being Will And Deanna’s Child Would Include…

Visiting Risa With Will Riker Would Include…

Will Riker - Confessions

Beverly and Jean-Luc’s Date Nights Would Include…

Data - First Date

Having Worf as a Father Figure Would Include…

Will Riker - All Partied Out

Data - “You must breathe.”

Will Riker - “I love you.”

Coming Out As Bisexual To Q Would Include…

Being Married to Jean-Luc Picard Would Include…

Worf - “What were you thinking?”

Data - Art Teacher

Beverly Crusher - “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Being a Scientist and Dating Q Would Include...

Data - “I suppose we would make a good couple.”

Voyager:

B'Elanna Torres - best friends

Going on a date with the Doctor would include…

Tom Paris - date night

Kathryn Janeway- “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked for mine.”

Doctor - “I love you, you asshole.”

Harry Kim - “I thought you were dead.”

Being friends with Tom and Harry would include…

Chakotay - near death confessions

Icheb - you’re shy

Being Harry Kim’s twin would include…

Being shy around the doctor would include…

Q Loving You Would Include…

Doctor - “You did this for me?”

Being Icheb’s friend would include…

The doctor being jealous would include…

Tom Paris - kidnapped

Harry Kim - “This shuttle was a lot roomier before …”

Keeping the doctor company would include…

Q junior - “You’re hot. Shame about your personality.”

Chakotay - “You love me.”

Q - “You’re so hot when you’re angry.”

Harry Kim - mismatched uniforms

Dating Icheb would include…

Harry Kim - he proposes

Kathryn Janeway - you’re insecure

Icheb - first date

The Doctor - talent show

Harry Kim - “Please don’t go.”

Dating Q Junior Would Include…

Chakotay x Kathryn Janeway - Dancing The Night Away

Date Night With Chakotay Would Include…

Tom Paris - Old Flames

Dating Tuvok Would Include…

Dating Seven Of Nine Would Include…

Q Junior Being Jealous Would Include…

Harry Kim - You’re Tom’s Sister

Tom x B'Elanna - “I’m scared, all right?!”

Kathryn Janeway - Locked Up

Being Kathryn Janeway’s Kid and Living on Voyager Would Include…

Coming Out As Bisexual To Q Would Include…

Tom Paris (platonic) - Different

Seven of Nine - Exploring

The Doctor (platonic) - Aromantic

Comforting Kathryn Janeway Would Include…

Tom Paris - “You are enough.”

Cuddling With Q Would Include…

Kathryn Janeway - Here For You

Friends to Lovers With Chakotay Would Include...

Harry Kim - Avoidance

Being a Scientist and Dating Q Would Include...

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Hey, let’s see if external influence can motivate me. I’m gonna post lines from a bunch of ancient WIPs I’ve got laying around. Tell me which one most strikes your fancy. 

OPTION ONE (MCKIRK ANGST AROUND BONES SAYING ILY): 

“So… what, you can love me... but I don’t get to love you back?” 

Jim hesitated, clearly not having expected Len to put it so bluntly. “It’s-- it’s not that simple--”

“No, you’re right about that,” Len snapped, “there’s nothing simple about this. Walk me through this, kid, ‘cause I’m having a hell of a time trying to keep up.” 

“Look,” Jim cried, desperation creeping into his tone, “it’s-- I don’t-- people don’t just…” He paused, sighing resignedly as his shoulders drooped. Finally, almost ashamed, he said, “No one’s ever said that to me before. And… if we’re being perfectly honest, I’m worried that if we--” he trailed off. “I shouldn’t have let things get this far. I’m sorry.”

OPTION TWO (CURRENTLY UNNAMED BONES FINDS OUT ABOUT TARSUS FIC): Jim didn’t do scared. Not so far as Len had seen. It was so antithetical to how Jim presented himself to the world that to see-- or hear-- even a glimpse of it in the kid cut Len to the core, making something tight and terrible twinge in his chest with the urge to help. To fix. To save. 

“Bones,” Jim growled, voice low and sharp, “drop it.” 

Len took a breath, stepping back a bit and softening his tone. “Jim, talk to me. What the hell’s going on with you?” 

“It’s nothing,” Jim insisted, and that quiet desperation was back, the same tone Jim had used when he’d told Len that he couldn’t miss classes just over a year ago, that same tone that said I’m overwhelmed but I have to do this. That same tone that said: I’m scared. 

OPTION THREE (THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF “REPEAT OFFENDER”): His left eye-- bruised and blackened courtesy of his stepfather-- throbbed as the wind slapped against his cheeks, cold and biting and just the thing to keep him awake. He was more than pleased by the fact that the black eye was his only injury. He had grown substantially in the past few years, and was now nearly as tall as Frank, if not as broad.

Frank had gotten a lucky shot in, and that was enough to drive Jim out the door and to his bike, racing down the steps and to the barn before tearing away with a roar of his engine, the tinny echo of drunken shouting fading quickly behind him. He wasn’t going back this time. 

He was seventeen, and more than capable of taking care of himself; he’d proven that. The courts didn’t seem to agree. 

The adrenaline carried him the first hundred miles. His bike carried him another hundred after the rush died down before he was alerted that the power converter needed to be charged. Shit.

OPTION FOUR (THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF ALTERNATIVE ACTION):

Montgomery Scott was not a man who was easily taken by surprise. After so many years of experimentation with warp core technology, and some truly terrifying transporter mishaps, very little caught him off guard. His former CO appearing at his doorway with a data chip in hand and a demand for his secrecy certainly did it, though. 

“Do I have your word, Mr. Scott,” the Vulcan asked again-- third time since arriving, uppity bastard-- “that you will not disclose whatever information is revealed to you here today--”

“Aye, aye,” he agreed again, waving a hand impatiently. “I solemnly swear not te tell anyone whatever the hell it is, now let’s have a look!” 

With an air of reluctance, Spock extended the chip to him.

OPTION FIVE (SUPRISE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST: BROTHERHOOD WIP):

“God, just--” Ed began before sucking in a sharp inhale through his teeth, “it's fine. Everyone's fine, I'm here, I'm standing--”

“Only because Havoc peeled you off the ground!” Roy replied, raising his voice for the first time and rising to his feet. “Fullmetal, if you--”

“Oh, come off it, Mustang,” Ed replied, lacking his usual bite. “They had to pick you up, too, after Hawkeye knocked you on your ass.”

“I,” the colonel hissed, moving forward with each statement as Ed stood his ground, fidgeting  uncomfortably, “was not lying in shock on the ground. I was not bargaining with a criminal for my brother's life. I was not awaiting a final blow without so much as a flinch!” 

“I-- you don’t understand the situation,” Ed stammered, eyes flitting around anxiously to avoid eye contact in such close proximity. “Whatever you think I was doing-- I--look, can-- can we do this later? When I'm not missing an arm, maybe?”

Roy, recognizing the vulnerability of Ed’s position-- the kid was so damn small and his missing automail made him seem oddly fragile-- reluctantly retreated a step, giving the teen space to compose himself and reply. 

“Alright,” he said, forcing himself to speak calmly, “explain the situation.” 

[masterwords]

Illogical (fic)

Just a little fic I put up on AO3 today.  Nothing at all, really, just something that was making my whumpy heart smile today while I cooked breakfast for the family and had to be written out.  <3  

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/24831928

The Captain's chair felt restrictive and cold to the touch.  Every inch of Jim's body ached under the weight of the pain in his head.  He peered at the viewscreen for moments at a time through squinted eyes, but the lights were too bright to continue looking too long.  

“Yeoman,” Jim called in a commanding but quiet voice, “could you please bring me a coffee?” The pretty young lady nodded silently and scurried away, leaving Jim alone on the bridge, save for the young man from engineering who was half asleep monitoring the helm.  The shift change was about to take place, and his Alpha shift crew would be coming to man their stations.  He liked to be there before they showed up, to enjoy the silence in the few minutes between, but today his head was throbbing and his body ached and enjoyment wasn't at the top of his list. Still, the silence was blessed.

By the time Spock swept onto the bridge, always just a minute earlier than everyone else, Jim had downed two scalding hot cups of coffee and was attempting to clear the fog and focus on his job.  His thoughts had turned rather dramatic in the silence – for instance, at that moment he was lost in the wonder at how his fingerprints even seemed to hurt.  

“Good morning, Spock,” Jim said, inclining his head slightly to look at his First Officer.  His neck and shoulder muscles screamed at him for the motion, and he swallowed hard against the pain and forced a soft smile at his friend.  “Our orders came in early, and state to remain patrolling the Romulan Neutral Zone, nothing has changed.”  

Spock raised an eyebrow slightly and nodded his acceptance of the orders.  He could sense his friend's pain, but he knew Jim well enough not to pry – if he was putting up the facade of being fine, Spock would accept that as fact, at least for a brief time.  

“Captain,” Spock began, as delicately as possible.  “Have you taken breakfast yet?”

“No,” Jim replied.  “I had some trouble sleeping, so I relieved the night crew early.  I haven't had the chance.”  Jim waited until Spock looked down at his viewscreen before placing his hand on his forehead, massaging his eyebrows with his thumb and forefinger.  He squeezed his eyes shut against the lights and watched the fireworks of colors dance in the black behind his eyelids, feeling his stomach churn.  He wouldn't be able to maintain composure much longer, the coffee had helped momentarily but was now wreaking havoc on his empty stomach.  

The whoosh of the airlock broke Jim from his trance and he let his hand fall to rest on the arm of his chair.  Blinking and looking at the stars ahead of him again, he listened as Chekov and Sulu came crashing through the bridge door sounding like a herd of elephants.  The two of them were in some sort of jovial argument about whatever they'd eaten for breakfast and what it reminded them of, but all Jim heard was deafening roars and the blood pounding in his ears.  He shut his eyes against the noise and sucked in a deep breath, trying to center himself, and was about to take another sharp breath when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.  

“Captain,” the deep voice began. It was Spock.  He knew.  Jim let out his breath, sinking into the chair almost like a sullen child before straightening back up. “Shall we leave the conn to Sulu for a moment and get some food?” Jim wanted to protest, everything in him wanted to say no and he was fine, but with Spock's hand on his shoulder he knew he wouldn't be able to lie about anything.  He simply nodded and swallowed hard against the nausea burning through his stomach.  Food was the last thing on his mind, but getting off of the bridge was sounding very enticing for the moment.  

“Mister Sulu,” Jim began, standing up with great effort on legs that did not want to support his weight, “you have the conn for a bit.  Mister Spock and I are going to see to some breakfast.”  

“Yes Captain,” Sulu replied with a look that was filled with both understanding and kindness.  Sulu had been with the Captain long enough to know if something was off and he was glad that he wouldn't have to be the one to force the Captain off of the bridge – it looked like Spock was taking the lead this time. Chekov turned to watch as the Captain made his way slowly, visibly unsteady, toward the door, ready to jump up if need arose.  When Spock joined the Captain by his side, Chekov eased back into his seat, confident that his services weren't required at the moment.  

“I will be available to return immediately, if needed,” Spock said sternly, turning around briefly to the crew with a look that had the words “do not disturb the Captain” written all over it.  

“Aye, sir,” came the replies from both Sulu and Chekov as the bridge door zipped closed, shutting the Vulcan and his Captain in the turbolift.  

“Deck Five,” Spock commanded, not daring a glance at Jim just yet.  

“I thought you said,” Jim began, but Spock shot him a look that told him protest would not end in his favor.  “Right.”  

“Captain,” Spock began in his usual calm manner, “By my observation, you are in no condition to be on duty, let alone in command of this ship.   I believe Doctor McCoy would agree.  You know I would follow your command even now if you so insisted, but we are patrolling the Romulan Neutral Zone with no end in sight and are in no immediate danger.  Surely now is as good a time as any to take a day of leave.”

Jim contemplated this for a moment, as though Spock was going to give him any choice in the matter.  He closed his eyes against the bright lights of the turbolift and felt the cool metal of the walls against his back while they made their way down to the deck five.  He tried to steady his breathing, inhaling deeply, but it just flooded his senses with the smell of Spock and that wasn't helping him at all.  Spock's smell was crisp and soft, like warm cedarwood and cool rain, but warm and inviting. He let his senses swim in the smell, breathing it in as deeply as he could.  

“Spock, I'm not good at this,” Jim sighed, letting one hand drift mindlessly to his head, rubbing at his forehead softly.  “Slowing down, I mean.  The ship needs me, the crew needs me,” he started, but noticed Spock looking at him curiously.    

“Correct, Captain, but we need you to be healthy and alert.  Your present status not only poses a danger to yourself, but a danger to the ship and crew as well.  You must recognize that?”  

Jim contemplated for a moment, sinking back against the wall, as if his pride had been deflated like a party balloon.  He suddenly felt the weight of his migraine and exhaustion all at once and thought he might be crushed under it all.  

“I do.”  It was all he could muster before the doors opened onto deck five and the two men stepped out of the turbolift.  Jim looked down toward the ground, attempting to shield himself from the glaring lights which seemed so much brighter than they'd been just two hours prior when he was on his way to the bridge.  They walked silently down the hall, Spock just a little too close to his friend, every so often their hands brushing against one another until they reached Jim's door.  Once inside his quarters, Jim let out an audible sigh of relief as the lights were low and the air was very cool.  He pulled his tunic over his head and wiped at the sweat on his forehead with it before tossing it aside.  Spock stood sentinel, silently watching his friend's movements in the dim twilight of the room.  

“Can I bring you anything?” Spock asked, watching Jim move slowly about the room curiously.  

“I, uh...” Jim began, stopping to lean against the wall for a moment.  Spock recognized immediately that he needed to move and barely rushed to his friend in time to catch him as his legs gave way.  For a moment, Spock stood with his friend limp in his arms, conscious but weak, and assessed the situation before making any moves.  He could feel Jim's pain through their touch, and when he felt it would be acceptable, gently guided his friend across the room and laid him on his bed.  

“Captain,” Spock began, kneeling beside the bed.  He contemplated silently for a moment before beginning again, this time in a softer, less formal tone.  “Jim...”

“I'm ok.  Just a migraine...haven't eaten or slept in a few days...I'm OK, really.  Just need to sleep.”

“Shall I get Dr. McCoy to give you something to help?”

“No.  He fusses so much...” Jim muttered, sinking deep into the comfort of his bed.  Spock nodded in agreement and settled onto his haunches, resting his chin on Jim's bed in a childlike way that made Jim smile.  He could feel the throbbing in his head, the rushing of the blood behind his ears and the jackhammer against his eyes, but he felt peaceful now.  

“How can I help?” Spock asked, his dark eyes twinkling in the dim room.  Jim looked over at him, his hazel eyes with their heavy lids nearly closed now, and blinked slowly.  

“Stay,” he whispered, finally drifting into sleep.  Spock smiled and twisted around, letting his back rest against Jim's bed.  He would do as his friend wished so long as he wasn't needed anywhere else.  These long days along the neutral zone had a way of stretching endlessly, the boredom driving some of the crew to the brink of insanity, but this part wasn't so bad.  This part, where Jim and Spock dipped their toes into the deep waters of whatever their relationship was or might become, this part was OK.  

“Illogical,” he muttered under his breath, but he was still smiling as he settled in.  In the dark of Jim's room, no one would see it, so he made no effort to conceal it.