#Spanish dubbing studio

[fleshandwires]

no mamen, si no funcionó la primera vez no va a funcionar cuando la pongan en Netflix 😭, la neta ya dejen morir ese desmadre que traen con el doblaje, Lalo se quedó como Megatron y ya ni pedo

[bereft-of-frogs]

I feel actually betrayed by Netflix defaulting to the dub starting this new show

Netflix. We’ve know each other for so long. When have I ever wanted the show dubbed and not with the original audio+subtitles. When.

[the-acid-pear]

I was gonna joke about getting a Baki pfp and gonna say lol who's gonna be my new fave guy since my previous and only Baki pfp had been Musashi but like. Doppo is literally right there... Literally never got a Doppo pfp fsr.

[tinyarsonist]

Volume: Up

"I bet I can make you scream in Korean."

Summary: In which heart throb K-Pop Idol, Bangchan, just shows you how 'Christopher' he can really be.

MDNI 18+ Only

TW: idol!Chan, IdolTrainee!Y/N(fem!), drinking, piv, unprotected sex (wrap it up), smut in general, dirty talk, swearing, masturbation, dumification, nipple play (fem!), cum on stomach, PleasureDom!Chan, switch!reader (fem!), pull out, cum on stomach, let me know if I missed anything!

Italics are in Korean. Bold is in Spanish. Rest in English.

Volume Series: Part One | Part Two | ?

You were still in awe.

You started your career as an idol fairly late in the game, making you older than most. But, when you entered the world of K-pop, you knew this was what you were meant to do. You were already creating music since you were young, and how hard could it be?

Very.

There were days as a trainee when you felt like giving up. You left your friends and family back home to pursue your dream, and after years, you still felt like you were right back at the same spot you started. Never moving. Stagnant.

That's when you discovered Stray Kids. Watching their debut to where they are now. It motivated you.

Then, one day, your company announces that they want you to lead a team. They presented you with suitable candidates for your girl group, but something in you felt like something wasn't right. "Sorry," you apologize to your board. "But, if I may be so bold as to recruit my own members?"

You wanted a family. Craved friendship beyond just another gig. And, well, let's say it worked out very well for you.

This brings you to the present day--standing in DIV studio, surrounded by its members, to do an interview. Your group was just starting out and already doing well. You've posted a couple of dance practices and some ballad covers you performed as a group, tracking some major views across all social media. DIV wanted to be the first to be a part of the soon-to-be international hype.

"You ready?" Eric smiled at you as the crew set up your microphone. You nodded happily. The rest of your group couldn't make it due to schedule. It felt weird not having the rest of your girls around you, but knew this wasn't an opportunity you just passed up.

Time passes, and so far, the interview is going great. It was amazing being around like-minded people. And, it was also nice being able to curse and not have to worry about your 'imagine' among them. They were free to be who they wanted. They wanted to break the mold; conformity was not in their dictionary. It took a while to let your company agree to the interview in the first place, but this was the direction you wanted to take the group. To be yourself and just produce music.

"Okay, so next up is the heart rate challenge." Eric smiled. You were divided into teams; you and Eric vs. Peniel and BM. The winner would be dubbed by the lowest combined heart rate.

"You're going down!" BM teased as Peniel hyped him up in the back. You grin brightly.

"Considering you boys are literally jumping around before the monitor is even placed, I think it's safe to say we'll win."

"Oh okay, that's how it's gonna be??" Peniel laughed. "Then let's make a bet; the loser buys everyone barbeque!"

Eric and you agreed in a heartbeat. You were already craving galbi and rice. Peniel essentially just bought the dinner you were going to buy tonight anyway.

As the heart monitors are placed, you try your best to stay calm. You were an anxious person in general, but when push comes to shove, you always had a way of relaxing yourself.

Peniel and BM went first. Eric and you teased them relentlessly during their time duration of 5 minutes. Peniel started blushing during his time up when you started throwing winks and kisses his way. Their combined score was 250.

"That's not far!" Peniel groaned as the video crew asked for a short break to recalibrate their equipment. "She's too cute, like how does someone not get flustered?"

"It's all fun and games in love and war," you winked at him. Everyone laughed except Peniel, who just took out his phone and pouted. His fingers typed furiously on his keyboard. Once it was time to get the cameras rolling again, Peniel had a knowing smirk on his face. You couldn't help but wonder what he was concocting. You just knew he was plotting his revenge against you.

Eric went first. Despite the constant harassment Peniel and BM gave him, you couldn't help but laugh at their jabs. "You're supposed to be on my team!" Eric roared at you at his last 10 seconds on the clock. Despite everything, his heart rate totaled to 120. All you had to do was ignore the comments for a minute. You got this. You sat down in the middle of the floor and crossed your legs, getting in an almost meditative position. The rest followed. Then the buzzer started.

"So," Peniel started as soon as the timer started going. "You learned Korean by yourself, right?"

You shot him a distrusting glance. "Yes..."

Peniel and BM nodded their heads slowly. "Interesting"/"Yes, yes, very interesting." Eric shot you a glance. He could feel it, too. Based on how the two acted Eric's turn was completely different, they were calm. Too calm. They were up to something.

"One might say," Peniel feigned thoughtfulness by stroking his chin. "You had an interest in learning Korean before you even had thought of becoming a trainee."

Crap. He saw the clip.

Before your group days, you would do little lives here and there. Just want to document your early days and interact with anyone who wants to chat. During that time, you mentioned the real reason you learned Korean was to easily watch interviews without the need for subtitles. Then you casually mentioned how much of a fan you were for a certain boy group. Your fans, which was very little back then, took those clips and circulated them online. Which was fine. It gained some traction that you were a STAY and helped grow your platform. It was a bit embarrassing, essentially admitting that you only learned the language to watch their episodes and lives to get full context. But, hey, it also helped you get to where you are today.

Getting bullied by two idols so they don't have to pay for your dinner.

"Yes, Peniel. I learned Korean so I can watch Stray Kids' interviews live." You roll your eyes but keep track of where your monitor is. 95bpm. Not bad. So long as you stayed below 130, that galbi was yours.

Peniel and BM continued to stroke their chins. "Interesting"/"Yes, yes, very... Stray Kids fan. Very cool"

Peniel held up a finger before leaving the room. You looked around at the crew, confused. Eric laughed and peered after him; "Where is he going?"

His question was answered as Peniel stepped back into the room with a shorter figure behind him. You moved around to peer behind Peniel, and when you locked eyes with the guest, your heart rate shot up. 110bpm.

Eric and BM rose to give a small bow when Chan said his hellos. You stayed still in your place. Embarrassment immediately washed over you. But you took a deep breath in and out, 3 minutes until you can freak out. 3 minutes, and you can process every single emotion you are feeling.

Chan gave you a little wave, his dimples showing as he smiled. Ugh, he might as well shoot you in the heart right now.

"You're not gonna stand up?" Peniel teased. You immediately shook your head. As much as you wanted to say hi, dinner was calling your name. Seeing Chan in the flesh was amazing. But Galbi beat everything at this moment. BM smiled brightly and motioned for Chan to take a seat next to you. How sweet.

2 minutes. 115bpm.

You bowed your head slightly to say hello, still a bit too stunned to speak. Chan gave a small head bow back. "Sorry about this," he chuckled. You told him it was okay, but still unable to make eye contact. Despite that, you knew he looked incredible. He always did.

Focus! You tried to snap yourself out of it and took deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

"So... you learned Korean to watch us live? That's sweet," Chan felt awkward all of a sudden. When Peniel texted him, this wasn't what he expected to be doing during the interview. "How many languages do you know?"

You close your eyes and focus back on the game. Here you were making casual conversation, while 3 other idols were jabbing at you, trying to get your heart rate back up. "Four; English, Korean, Japanese, and Spanish."

"Holy crap, how is it going down?!" Eric looked at the monitor and backed up at you. You kept your eyes closed, trying to maintain a steady rhythm. Everyone but Chan was losing their shit.

You could hear BM jump to his feet. The impending doom of a very large bill drove his heart rate up. "Chan, do something!" He exclaimed in Korean. Chan giggled next to you; "What? What do I do?"

"Hit on her!" Peniel got up as well. All attention is now on Chan. Eric stood up and pointed at the two competitors; "Hey! Hey! You leave her alone!"

You couldn't help but chuckle; "I was subscribed to his bubble. I was in the trenches with the rest of STAY. There's nothing he can say that I haven't heard."

Chan clicked his teeth with his tongue. His eyes narrowed. A challenge. He looked at you, with your eyes still closed, before casting his gaze over at Eric. "Anyway, we can mute our mics for a sec?"

Your eyes shot open.

1 minute. 120bpm.

BM ran over to mute your mic. As soon as he backed up, Chan leaned in close to your ear. His breath tickled your cheek, and you had to close your eyes again. 125 bpm. 30 seconds.

"I bet I can make you scream in Korean."

Chan wasn't expecting you to turn your head so quickly towards him. The way your face flushed. Your eyes wide. Everything about you was making his heart race. You locked eyes with him and felt like you couldn't breathe. This was it. That free galbi was gone.

The buzzer went off.

Everyone turned to the monitor.

129bpm.

You shot up from your seat and hugged Eric. Peniel and BM groaned at their loss. Chan laughed as he watched the two of you jumping around, singing about free barbeque.

He took a moment to sneak a look at you, his gaze traveling up and down. The way your hair bounced with you and how your outfit was snuggling your curves just right. He stood up as Eric said their sign-off. Once the cameras were shut off, the teasing started between the four. Peniel placed his arm around the younger idol and pulled him in a side hug. "It's okay," he reassured Chan. "It's not entirely your fault. A good majority of it. But, not fully."

Chan laughed and rolled his eyes. Everyone came up to thank him for coming over. That's when he locked eyes with you again, giving him a bright smile.

You gave the bow you weren't able to give before, formally introducing yourself. You all talked for a bit until you felt your hunger start to spike up; "Okay, so when are we getting dinner?"

The group settled for a time later tonight so everyone could get ready. BM invites Chan to tag along.

"No no," Chan shook his head, not wanting to impose. Peniel tickled his stomach as the rest of the group tried to get him to agree. You couldn't help but chime in. Part of you being selfish and wanting to spend more time with him and also wanting to get a jab in at Peniel and BM; "Come on, it'll be fun. And free!"

Chan looked at you. It was subtle, but his cheeks turned a bit red. "Y-yea, okay."

Chan made his way back to his dorm. The rest of the members who share the space are away on their own schedules. It was rare for Chan to spend the night alone.

He groaned as he plopped on the couch. He was still a bit jet lagged from flying from NYC back home. Laying his head on the back of the couch, he tried to take a nap before having to get ready to head out for dinner with you and the rest of the group.

You.

His mind was restless, and for some reason, they kept fluttering back to you. No matter how much he tried to push them out, he couldn't stop thinking about your big doe eyes. The way your breath hitched as he leaned in. The perfume you were wearing.

Was it Channel? Gucci? Whatever it was, it was flowery like a spring day. He could still smell it on his clothes oh so slightly.

Biting his lower lip, he got up from his seat and headed to the shower. The warm water was welcoming as he tried to clear his head. Unfortunately, it seemed there was only one thing to rid him of these thoughts.

The amount of guilt he felt once he stroked his cock to the thought of you was soon discarded as his mind wandered even more.

What were you like? Did you relinquish control or demand it? Were your lips as soft as he can imagine? Your mouth--oh God. How would it feel to have it wrapped around him? Were you a moaner? A screamer? Could he scramble your brain so much that you scream for him in Korean? Would you come in multiple languages?

He sped up his pace even faster. Water cascaded down his back as he faced the tile bathroom wall. One hand on the structure to ground him as he lost himself at the thought of you. He leaned his head back as he felt himself building and building. The warm water was a comforting feeling on his scalp.

The way he would take you as soon as you entered the dorm. No words, just a clash of flesh as he stripped you of your clothes and bent you over the couch. He wouldn't waste any time and would just thrust into your--oh God. How would you feel around his dick? How tight--

He muffled a moan as he came on his hand. The shower washed away any evidence of his inappropriate thoughts of you. He panted heavily and stood under the water for a couple of moments, pleasure rippling through him soon to be replaced with an abundant amount of guilt for getting off to someone he barely knew.

Maybe that was the thrill of it. Maybe the thought of having someone who didn't know his ups and downs is what did it for him.

Chan didn't have time to dwell on the thought as the time to meet up was fast approaching. And he hated to admit, but the thought of seeing you made his now softening cock twitch.

By the time Chan arrived at the restaurant, platters and drinks were spread across the shared table. BM and Peniel bought out a room so they could enjoy their meal without prying eyes. Chan could hear them hollering in the room before he even opened the door. His ears rang as they all loudly greeted him.

"Look who finally made it!" Peniel laughed as Chan took a seat across from them. Eric and BM were putting meat on the grill as they said their greetings. Chan couldn't help but scan the room, taking note that you weren't there. He tried to play it cool as he asked if you were running late.

"She texted us saying there was something she needed to finish up at home," BM answered him. Eric couldn't help but wiggle his eyebrows at Chan.

"Why? Scared she might not come?"

"No, no." Chan chuckled awkwardly while looking off to the side. "Was just wondering, is all."

The boys all made cooing noises. A flush of embarrassment washed over Chan at their teasing. Peniel smirked; "Wouldn't blame you, she's gorgeous!"

Chan poured himself a shot of soju, trying his best to drown out their teasing and take the stress away. The three men quit their teasing and talked about mundane things; schedules, new music coming out, and how big the bags under Chan's eyes were.

"I just flew back from New York!"

"Doesn't matter! Ever heard of eye cream!"

They were laughing at one another by the time you entered the room. Everyone stood up to greet you with a bow, and you bowed back. Gesturing for them to take their seats again. "Sounds like a party in here," you smiled as you took a seat next to Chan. He took note of how you wore your hair up in a messy bun, showing off your silver necklace. That flowery smell radiated off of you, and he had to lean a bit to the side so it didn't flood his senses in all the right ways.

"Is that soju or vodka?" You spot a filled shot glass from across the table. "Actually, it doesn't matter. Hand me it."

Chan watched you down the shot with a smile and motioned for Eric to pour you another one. "Hard day?"

The second shot went down a bit smoother and you gave him a grin. "You can say that."

He didn't need to know that the line he whispered in your ear had stressed you out to your core. It was possibly the hottest thing any man has ever said to you. It was all you could think about by the time you reached your dorm. His voice echoed in the back of your mind causing your body to feel hot.

He didn't need to know the real reason why you were late to dinner.

That you were squirming on your bed, rubbing yourself furiously between your legs. Trying to get all the tension out of your body before having to see him again.

And now you were sitting next to him. The man responsible for one of the best solo sessions in your life.

"I mean, I did have to spend half the day with these three." You gestured to the rest of the group who just booed at you. Eric rolled up a napkin and threw it your way, causing you to laugh.

As you and the group ate and drank, the room was beginning to get louder and louder. It wasn't long until everyone became tipsy.

You just finished cooking up your Galbi and offered it to the rest of the group who everyone, except Chan, declined. You used the tongs to bring it over to his plate before attempting to cut it. "Damn things," you huffed under your breath. The scissors were dull and worn out. Trying to cut through the meat was as effective as slicing a rib-eye with a spoon.

"Here," Chan grabbed the tongs and scissors from your hand. Despite the very brief time that his fingers brushed yours, you couldn't help but blush a bit as he gave you your half. You didn't have time to feel embarrassed as you caught Eric eyeing the two of you. He had his fingers interlaced and resting his head on them.

"You two look cute together~"

"Shut up," you mumble and grab some kimchi to add to your plate.

Chan sat quietly next to you. He plopped some food in his mouth, the best excuse he had to not comment. BM chuckled before pouring another round of drinks. "What did you say to her anyway? Peniel was screaming so loud I couldn't even hear it."

The two of you were sitting so close to one another, that you could feel Chan stiffen next to you. No doubt, wanting to avoid another round of ridicule from his colleagues.

"Awe, jealous he wasn't whispering in your ear instead?"

That snarky reply was all it took for the other two boys to holler and tease the living crap out of him. As the night progressed, soon talk of continuing the party commenced. Chan mentioned he had a free dorm tonight.

"You in?"  Eric asked you. You looked up from your plate of Galbi and rice. You were so distracted by your plate that you didn't realize they were all waiting for your answer. You hesitated. You obviously had this attraction to Chan since the interview. Hell since even before you became a trainee. The frustration of him being so near, mixed with alcohol, might just be the equation for something disastrous.

Chan bit his lower lip while sneaking a glance at you. He knew it was stupid to invite everyone over. To invite you over. He was already feeling the effects of drinking so much, trying to keep pace with everyone. What if he slipped up? Did something that made you hate him?

But then a wonderful thought popped into his mind: What if something amazing happened?

"It'll be fun," Chan gave you his shy grin. Your heart raced as you two locked eyes. How could you say no to that face?

"You got this," you whispered to yourself as you stood in front of Chan's door. It wasn't every day you're invited to a celebrity's apartment. Especially one that you've imagined in bed with when you're stressed out after work. Everyone left in their own taxi after dinner, planning to meet up at Chan's. You stayed a bit behind to make some phone calls to your family overseas, promising that you would be there soon. "Totally normal get-together. Nothing to worry about."

After a couple of seconds, you gather enough courage to knock on the door. A moment or two the door swings open and Chan stands there. God, he looked great with his messy hair, black tee, and joggers. Giving him that ready-for-bed look--

"Wait, were you asleep?"

Chan's face turned red. He was in bed. But he definitely wasn't sleeping.

"They didn't text you? They got a call on the way over, their schedule moved up earlier in the morning so they headed back home."

Oh.

You pull out your phone and groan. "Batteries dead." You just had to make those calls? You knew your mom could talk your ear off.

"Sorry," you put the phone back in your pocket. Taking a step back, you start to head out. "Have a good night."

"Wait!" He couldn't just let you leave. It could be from all the alcohol, but watching you saunter away felt wrong. He wanted you near him. To stay. "It's late... You can charge your phone and call a cab here if you want."

You didn't fight it. You know you should've. Chan was right, it was late. The responsible thing to do would be to go home. But that didn't stop you from sitting on his couch waiting for your phone to charge enough to call your ride. The two of you scrolled through YouTube on his TV, chatting about anything that came to mind as you both sipped on some mixed drinks Chan concocted when you first entered the apartment.

It was weird. Without the others, conversation flowed almost naturally between you two.

"You mean to tell me, you've never watched any of your own fan cams?!" You exclaimed. Chan shook his head and laughed shyly.

"No, it felt weird watching close-ups of myself if that makes sense?"

"You really should, they always look phenomenal!"

You grabbed the remote to scroll through the recommended videos to watch. Chan took the opportunity took look you over for the umpteenth time tonight. Here he was just in joggers and an oversized shirt while you sported a cute long-sleeved crop top and tight jeans. He had to grab the pillow next to him to cover up the bulge he was sporting.

You settled on a music video by RenMakesMusic.  The strum of the guitar had Chan bobbing his head along to the beat. The lyrics were a bit dark but meaningful. "This is good," Chan mused. "Turn it up a bit."

You gladly obliged with a smile, pressing the remote's volume button so his subwoofers would have to do some heavy lifting. Music filled the apartment as the two of you watched the video. You didn't realize it initially, but your shoulder pressed against his. You slowly shifted to your right, to create distance not trying to give him the wrong impression, but were surprised when he leaned back into you. It was comforting.

It was right.

"Everything okay?"

Chan's question broke through your mind wandering. You felt your cheeks heat up a bit. "Y-yea, um. Where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall, to the right."

Chan watched as you made your way to the guest bathroom. He couldn't help but keep his eyes on your backside. Once you disappeared, he leaned further back into the couch and groaned.

What was he doing? Letting you in this late, checking you out when you weren't looking, trying to get any physical contact no matter how little it was. It was stress, it had to be. His schedule has been so hectic lately his body was trying to find relief since his mind was almost running amock. Chan was so lost in thought that he let YouTube play on in the background. Not paying much attention to what was playing.

When you exited the bathroom, you were greeted with bongos and macarenas bouncing through the dorm. Peaking around the corner you spotted Chan leaning against the couch. He had his head back against the rest, his eyes closed. But despite his worn-down posture, he was still tapping his foot to the beat. "Aw, come on--you call that dancing?"

Your voice brought back his focus. His side smile gave you butterflies and you couldn't help but wear your own when he quipped; "Like you know how to dance to this?"

"Alright, Christopher. Get up." You grabbed the remote next to him and turned up the stereo even more. Hopefully, anyone living above or below the apartment wouldn't be able to hear how the bass shook the walls.

His grin widened at the name change. Almost nobody called him that anymore. There was a fine line between 'Chan' and 'Christopher', one that you seemed to be willing to cross.

What else were you willing to do?

Your hand was extended to him as you stood above him from his seat. The gleam in your eye was bright, almost playful. There was this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. Bubbly and light. How the light casts around your silhouette made him realize why he felt the way he did when his eyes locked on you.

You were a goddess.

"You just gonna sit there? Come on, get up."

He didn't know what you said, but by the way, you grabbed onto his hand and pulled him from his seat, he knew he was in no position to argue.

You were a tough dance instructor. You corrected almost every misstep in Spanish. He couldn't comprehend your scolding, but he'll be damned to admit that at this point, he was doing it on purpose. There was something incredibly hot about being reprimanded in an unknown language.

"Dear all that is mighty," you sighed. "You're too stiff, loosen up a bit. Here, why don't you take the lead instead."

That caused his brain to malfunction a bit. He stuttered like a middle school kid being asked to dance for the first time. Without waiting for a reply, you grab his hands in yours and guide them on your body.  His hold on your waist was firm, but not too tough. He didn't want to scare you away. Not when he was so close to you he could smell your shampoo. Especially, not when you wrapped your arms around his neck and those eyes of yours were peering into his soul as you two stepped to the fast beat.

"Feel how my hips are moving?"

Oh, you bet he does.

Pushing those thoughts away, Chan tried to mimic your movement. "That's better!" You praised it, and it took everything in him not to press his body flush against yours right at that moment. He hated to admit it, but as the next song played, something with a slower tempo, every step you took with him around the living room, he somehow magically ended up closer to you.

This is the part where both of you could blame the alcohol.

You both were too inebriated to notice the fact that your phone was fully charged, that your fingers started to play with the bottom of his hair, or the fact that your faces were so close together. Chan's forehead rested on yours as the playlist finally died down to a softer ballad. YouTube ironically telling you two to slow down. But neither showing signs of listening.

"We...are going down a path you might regret." Chan closed his eyes to help steady his breathing. How were you able to do this earlier today? He felt like his heart was going to combust on the spot.

"That I might regret?" You whispered. Being this close to him felt surreal. You were sure you were about to wake up in your bed feeling very frustrated. "You won't?"

The feel of the pressure of your body was draining all his excitement from his chest to his dick. Another form of pressure was beginning to press against his underwear. A flood of penance sprung as quickly as his blood flowed to his quickening erection. "We just barely met. We don't know each other."

You pull away slightly so you can look up at him.

"Then, get to know me."

Chan knew this wasn't what you meant. But, it was too late to turn back now.

You were half-naked, a trail of clothes leading to his room.

For every question he asked, an article of your outfit was essentially ripped off you. Every question you answered, you returned the favor.

"Favorite food?" Whoops, there goes that necklace.

"Beef jerky with sticky rice." Goodbye, Chan's shirt!

He kissed you deeply and backed you up towards his bed. A brief pause as you fell into the soft cushions and he stared down at you. Your lips were puffy, chest rising and falling as you were trying to catch your breath. As much as he reveled in the thought of you being a goddess, there was something about bringing down a higher power that made him absolutely feral. Breaking you down bit by bit with every question. 

He climbed on the bed to hover over you, that stupid side smile making another appearance for the night. "That's not exactly a 'food', more of a meal."

"Sorry if I'm--ah. A bit distracted." You close your eyes as he attaches his lips right below your ear. Sucking on your soft skin, not hard enough to leave bruising, but a temporary mark just for his eyes. 

Biting your lower lip, you happily extended your neck a bit to give him more access. Mind all fuzzy and unable to think as he littered your neck with small kisses. Chan gripped your thigh and pulled it up a bit, lifting your hips just enough to hold you close to his pelvis,  kneading your thighs through your tights.

"Need you to focus." He nipped softly at your skin. "How else am I going to learn everything about you?

"Favorite position?" His fingers went under the hem of your tights and helped you shed the last outer part of your outfit. Once it was thrown somewhere across his room, you wrapped the leg he was holding up around his back and used what momentum you could gather to push his back on the bed. His hands instinctively grabbed onto your hips as you straddled him.

Your lips were soft and gentle as you leaned in for a kiss, the complete opposite of the intensity shared just moments before. "Don't care, so long as I'm full."

Chan wasted no time by stripping himself of his joggers and boxers on your behalf. Stifling a moan as best as he could once he felt your clothed core perfectly placed on his growing erection.  Guiding your hips to grind against him, he grinned as you threw your head back and sighed in content. Chan rocked his hips perfectly to the rhythm he set against you, providing the much-needed friction you craved.

You were starting to think he was tanking at dancing salsa on purpose.

"Anything off limits?" You couldn't even register that his hands snuck up to undo your bra clasp. He took a second to appreciate the view. Chan couldn’t stop himself from using his forearms to prop himself up to latch onto one of your nipples. Licking and sucking at anything he could grab. The mewls coming from your mouth sounded like a song he never wanted to end. Your hand caressed the back of his head, pressing him closer. 

“Just--mmm. Just don’t stop even if I say so.”

Leaving your breast with a wet ‘plop’, he stared up at you. You could see the usual gleam in his eyes disappear. They became dark, almost predatory. Chan lifted you off so he could be above you again. He traced your skin from the collarbone down to the hem of your underwear. You arched your back at his touch; “Luckily for you--I like begging.”

Your breath hitched. Surely, he could see the wet stain on your underwear by now.

“Any safe words then?”

Last question.

Chan finger slipped underneath the cloth and played with your folds. The way you squirmed underneath him made him want to ruin you more. The chuckle he let out when you tried to squeeze your thighs together made you feel warm all the way down to your core. Chan was quick to use his body to keep you nice and spread. All for him.

“L-lemon…”

“Sorry, couldn’t hear you.” Chan slipped the tip of his middle finger in you. “Could you speak up a bit?”

“Pendej--mmmphhh” You couldn’t finish your quip. Chan pushed in further until he was knuckle-deep. His lips hovered over yours as he slowly worked in and out of you. You kept arching and writhing as he continued his ministrations, mouth wide open as you let out silent moans.

“Ah, ah--I wanna hear you.” Once he added in a second finger, you couldn't contain yourself. Moans were spilling out of you like a pornstar. Even when he kissed you, there was nothing to stop the volume you were outputting. “Good job, baby.”

“Oh?” He chuckled as he felt your walls clamp down on him. “Did you like that?”

You couldn't speak as he kept pressing into you, wiggling his fingers against your walls. “C-chan…please…”

“Sorry, what was that?” He teased as he kissed around your collarbone.

“Chan…”

The bastard kept pretending not to hear you. As if he couldn't feel you practically leaking around his fingers and clenching around him like there was no tomorrow. 

You finally had enough.

Grabbing ahold of his face with one hand, you forced him to look at you. His cheeks smashed between your fingers. “Christopher, I swear to God--if you don't fuck me right now I'm taking over.”

Ah, so you did like to be in charge.

With a grin, he gladly ripped off your panties. He pulled away just a bit, taking in your appearance. Wanting to embed it into his brain for any future sessions he might have with himself later on.

He knew he should've grabbed a condom, but the alcohol was still flowing through him and he couldn’t stop himself as he slowly pushed into you. You tried finding words; how big he felt, how full he made you, but all that could come out were whimpers as he groaned and leaned in for another kiss to ease any pain you felt.

The two of you grind against one another. Chan never fully pulled out, keeping himself nice and snug in your warmth. Stretching you out, oh so sweetly.

Chan wasted no time in picking up his thrust as you tapped his shoulder, indicating that he was okay to move. You squeaked as he hooked your knees on his shoulders and leaned down to essentially bend you in half. He was hitting a spot you never felt before; not with previous boyfriends and definitely not with your own toys at home.

“So fucking tight…” Chan hissed as his pace sped up to the point he was jackhammering into you. His lips found their way back to your neck and kept mumbling about how you felt around him. So tight, so warm, just right. His teeth nipped your ear lobe, desperate to grab onto something but knowing he couldn’t mark you up too much. “Is this good, baby? Need it harder, faster?”

When you didn’t respond to him, he slowed down a bit and leaned back to stare down at you. His cock twitched when he realized what was happening.

You laid on the bed; eyes glazed over, mouth wide open, cheeks completely flushed. You knew he was asking you a question in Korean, but the words weren’t forming in your head like they usually do. “Aw,” Chan laughed. “Does it feel that good that you forgot Korean?”

Chan let up on the pressure so his hand can snake its way to your lips. You instantly latch on to his fingers and suck. Your tongue brushes around his tips, tasting the leftover residue of yourself from earlier. Your knees unhook from his shoulder and fall on either side of his waist. A whimper leaves you as he removes his fingers from your mouth and travels down to rub your clit. Still keeping his thrust with his brutal pace.

“Ahhh…wait…” You squirmed and your hand went to grab his wrist. Chan noticed how you didn’t pull his hand away despite your pleas. “Chan, p-please--too much.”

He kept using your body. Chan could feel you clamping down around his length. “Sorry,” he breathed out as he felt the pressure in his balls rising. “You’re just, hmmmph, too perfect.”

That’s what did it for you. The fact that he listened to what you mentioned earlier, and his talk. The crash of pleasure that overcame you was intense. Chan shuddered as he felt your wave around him. “Fuck, fuck fuck,” you came with a cry. Your arms wrapped around his neck, trying to ground yourself in any way that you could. You were loud. Nothing could stop the curses that flowed out of you as you held him close against you. Chan wasn’t far behind; “Oh, I-I’m gonna--”

He pulled out and stroked his cock rapidly around his head, painting your stomach with his warm cum. Of all the art museums he visited around the world--this was by far his favorite piece of work.

The room was filled with both of your heavy pants as he laid in your arms. Once he was able to catch his breath, Chan pulled away from your embrace placing the gentlest kiss on your lips. Humming as you kissed him back. He tried to get up, but you were quick to stop him.

“Don’t go…” You pouted. Part of you knew this would be a one-time thing, but another part never wanted this to end. Chan smiled down at you and gave your cheek a quick peck.

“I’m just grabbing a towel to clean you off.”

As he walked off to the bathroom you stared down at the mess on your abdomen. The remnants of the best sex of your life were starting to cake on your skin. It took everything in you to not scoop some up and taste him in your mouth. When Chan returned with a wet cloth, he cleaned you up before plopping onto the bed beside you.

Once you caught your breath, reality set in.

Here you were, all fucked out with a colleague in the same industry. Everything told you to leave. It wasn’t like the two of you were in a relationship. It was a rash decision based on a lot of alcohol and dancing. You started to get up, but Chan was quick to wrap his hand in yours.

“You…you don’t have to go…” Chan shifted to lay on his side and stared down to not meet your eyes. Acting all shy as if he didn’t fuck the lights out of you just moments before. Your heart melted at the sight.

Slinking back into bed, his arms wrapped around you and pulled you into his chest. His cheek pressed against the top of your forehead. You could feel his heartbeat against you and closed your eyes.

“You know,” you sighed. “This was something I definitely didn’t regret.”

“Me ‘neither.”

As the morning rolled around you woke up to Chan still wrapped around you. His soft snores made you smile. There was something surreal about seeing him so at peace that made your heart flutter. Placing a small kiss on his cheek, Chan shifted slightly and groaned as he stretched a bit.

“Mornin’,” He grumbled but held a smile as soon as his eyes landed on you. Chan wasted no time in pulling you into a kiss. His hands sneaking towards your ass to knead your flesh. His excitement is present against your thigh.

"Somebody's eager," You giggle as he pressed closer to you. Chan smirked as he gently rubbed his morning wood against you.

"You can say that."

"Unfortunately--"

Chan grumbled and hid his face in the crook of your neck. "No, don't say that."

"I was just going to say, that I need some water first." It was true. After all the drinks last night, your head was pounding like never before.

"Okay," Chan smiled and got up from bed to put a pair of boxers on. "Stay put, I'll grab you something to eat too."

Minutes passed as you waited in bed. Surprise overtook you as you heard a pan sizzling and the welcoming smell of home-cooking started to flood the dorm. Dawning one of his shirts, you made your way to the kitchen. Chan's back was to you as he manned the stove. You could see how his back rippled with every movement he made.

You couldn't see it, but a smile crept on Chan's face as he felt you wrap your arms around his midriff. "I thought I told you to stay put?"

"I'm not one for taking orders." You laugh as you hook your chin on his shoulder to peer over him. "Besides," Chan stiffened a bit as he felt your lips hover over his ear. "There's something sexy about a man cooking."

"Oh?" He quickly turned off the stove and turned around to face you. Your arms wrap around his neck as he leaned down closer to your face. "And what about your water?"

It was a frenzy of passion as your lips locked with his yet again. Both of you eager to relive last night in the light of sobriety. "Water can wait," you whisper in between kisses.

Chan easily lifted you, placing you on an open counter. Your legs spread to allow him access to be closer to you. The both of you started to mold into one another as the intensity grows. "I should cook for you more often," He grins as he breaks away from the kiss to catch his breath. He lifted his shirt on you slightly so your cunt was exposed.

"Promise?" You teased as he lowered himself down slightly to bring his lips level to your core. Chan enjoyed the way your head leaned back slightly as you felt his hot breath against you.

"Promise."

The both of you were so entranced with what was about to happen, that you didn't hear the door opening. Only the shrilly scream that bounced around the dorm broke you two apart.

You instantly jumped down from the counter as Chan stood upright, finding protection from behind him. Chan tried using his body to shield your half-naked body from the view of a very frightened Felix.

Not that he really needed too.

The younger member held both hands over his eyes. Groceries bags around him, spilling its contents around the floor.

"Felix?" Chan stuttered as he grabbed a kitchen rag to cover up his erection. "W-what are you doing here?"

Chan gestured for you to run back to the room as Felix was still covering his eyes. You had no hesitation, wanting to escape from the embarrassment. AKA your own personal hell.

"I didn't want you eating alone... I was gonna make breakfast."

Author's Note: Here it is! Please let me know what you think. I'm also open to requests, I really want to get back into writing and interacting more on here. If you'd like to be added to my taglist please interact with this post (linked). Bye~

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[billiewena]

THREE YEARS SINCE NOV 5TH, 2020 as summed up by Supernatural (sequel to this and this)

image ID & context below:

[image ID: screenshots of Supernatural paired with screenshots of various tweets, news headlines and Tumblr posts.

A screenshot of Ed and Harry in SPN 3x13 Ghostfacers saying "You gotta be gay for that poor dead intern" with a screenshot of Misha Collins at the SPNNJ 2023 convention saying "I got a call from Warner Bros and they were like hey uh...is there any world you just let it go?" This is in reference to an incident in 2022 where Misha accidentally made headlines after a comment that seemed to be referring to his sexuality. His comments at this year's panel imply that the studio in fact did not want him to retract the comment and make the apology that he posted, but to instead just roll with it.

A screenshot of Bobby saying "Time travel?" and Dean saying "Yeah" in SPN 6x18 with a headline that says "Jensen Ackles' Explains The Winchester's Multiverse Twist & Supernatural Connection." This is about the series finale of Jensen's Supernatural spinoff "The Winchesters", in which it is revealed Dean and the Impala somehow traveled the multiverse to the alternate timeline the show takes place in.

A screenshot of Dean in SPN 15x08 saying "He's back, and he's out of control" with a screenshot of Misha Collin's first Tumblr post in seven years, a video with him and his brother being a public nuisance on public transportation. Also included are screenshots of various Tumblr users reacting with tags from various tumblr users. becauseofthebowties: "mishacollinsofficial tumblr account back from the dead???" myboobsarentsentientbeings: "this is the first thing he posts? after nearly 7 years???" casismybestfriend: "RED FUCKING ALERT MISHA IS BACK ON TUMBLR" cannabiscasgate: "who the fuck gave you back your password"

A screenshot of two news anchors in SPN 14x20, with one (named Jack) telling his co-host "I love you" and her replying "Jack?" with screenshots of the Destiel/Supernatural Confession meme trending multiple times this year with other current events topics like Russia, Titanic, etc. There is also a screenshot of a post by saintedcastiel that says "I cannot believe that since we started using the destiel meme as a breaking news alert that there hasn't been ONE destiel news anchor AU fic where they're co-anchors on the morning news. cas confessed on accident while they're on air and dean doesn't know how to respond so he just reads the next thing on the teleprompter."

A screenshot of Dean in SPN 5x14 as Cupid says "I-I was just following orders" with a screenshot of an anonymous Tumblr ask to user luxshine. The ask says "Hey! I was wondering if you have any updates on the LATAM dub situation and if you were/will able to contact the dub director". luxshine says "Hi! Well I could get the translator (you know, our dear rogue translator) and he told me that while he doesn't remember it completely (because he translates a lot of series) if Dean said "And I you" it's because the script he got said "And" I you" and the video he saw said "And I you" because he doesn't add stuff." This is in reference to a change in Spanish LATAM dub of Castiel's confession SPN 15x18, which added a line where Dean reciprocates, which was previously suspected to be a change added by the LATAM dubbing director or translator

A screenshot of a detective from SPN 8x08 saying, "[Chuckles] Whatever you say Scully" with a screenshot of the tumble blr blog ao3topshipsbracket's poll "AO3 Top Relationships Bracket - Round 2 Side 1" with Fox Mulder/Dana Scully (The X-Files) vs. Castiel/Dean Winchester (Supernatural.) In the final results from 51,514 votes, Mulder/Scully won by 53% and Castiel/Dean won by 47%. In early 2023, Tumblr added a polls feature which has led to numerous content, debates, and bracket polls similar to this.

A screenshot from SPN 11x15 where Dean says "No money, no glory" with a headline that says "Supernatural creator Eric Kripke gets 'zero' residuals from Netflix"

A screenshot of Dean rising from his grave in SPN 4x01 with a screenshot of a post from the official CW Supernatural Instagram with a clip from the pilot episode and the caption "And the story continues..." and a comment from a user that says "THE STORY CONTINUES?? WTF ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US?? I HAVE ANXIETY YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME." For context, no one is sure if the post was supposed to reference new content from Supernatural or not but it has led to speculation.

A screenshot of SPN 8x01, with the onscreen lyric "Another year has passed me by."

[lazywolf177117]

I LOVED THIS SHOW SO MUCH SINCE I WAS A KID

I remember seeing it every time I came back from school and it was my favorite for so long, and I just recently remembered about it but have no one to talk to about it 😭😭😭

I have looked for it like crazy, and have been able to find the english the french and even the castilian spanish dub of the show, but not the latin spanish one, which is unfortunately the one that I watched as a kid, I can understand the english version perfectly, and a bit of the french one, but I just want the nostalgia of listening to the spanish version, but I can't seem to find it 😭😭😭😭

Does anyone know how to find it in Spanish? (The latin spanish dub, the castilian just sounds wrong to me)

Hi hello let me just nostalgia blast a slect few of you

This was my absolute favourite show growing up please its so good!?!?!!? It had everything from an absolute banger of an opening to super interesting dragon designs, floating islands, interesting stories

[diceriadelluntore]

Storia di Musica #335 - The Clash, Sandinista!, 1980

Il punto esclamativo finale di questa piccola carrellata tra i dischi che lo hanno nel titolo arriva ad uno dei più famosi dischi degli anni ’80. Protagonista una band che nasce dal calderone del punk britannico della seconda metà degli anni ’70, ma che grazie ad un percorso per molti versi unico e virtuoso, è arrivata ad essere, giustamente, considerata come una delle più importanti rock band d tutti i tempi. Joe Strummer è figlio di un alto funzionario del Ministero degli Esteri Britannico, tanto che nasce in Turchia nel 1952. Quando ha 20 anni, fonda un gruppo, i 101’ers con Clive Tiperlee e Richard Dudanski. Suonano con discreto successo nei pub londinesi e registrano persino qualche canzone. Nel loro giro c’era un altro gruppo, I London SS, che erano noti poiché non suonavano quasi mai con la stessa formazione, in una sorta di gruppo aperto: tra coloro che più spesso ne facevano parte c’erano Mick Jones, Paul Simonon, Tory Crimes e Nicky “Topper” Headon. I primi tre si uniscono a Strummer e per qualche mese al chitarrista Keith Levine (che suonerà pochi anno dopo nei PIL di Johnny Rotten) e fondano un proprio gruppo, che prima si chiama Heartdrops, e poi The Clash. La prima, storica, esibizione è allo Screen On The Green di Islington, il 26 Agosto 1976. Inizia qui la loro storia: agli esordi sono una delle punte di diamante del punk di quegli anni, espressione più matura e politicamente sensibile del periodo storico economico di quei tempi. Ne è esempio il primo grande successo, White Riot, uscito nel Marzo 1977, ispirato agli scontri tra polizia e giovani neri al carnevale di Notting Hill nel 1976. Sono il punto di incontro della visione politica più matura e curiosa, lontano dall’anarchismo furbetto dei Sex Pistols o dall’apatia politica disinteressata dei Damned. Il loro esordio discografico è fragoroso: The Clash esce nell’anno Uno del Punk Britannico, il 1977, e piazza canzoni mito come I Fought The Law e (White Man) In Hammersmith Palais, unendo i ruvidi stilemi del punk a ritmi giamaicani del dub e del reggae. Il successo li carica, e il successo lavoro è leggenda: London Calling (1979) è il primo disco in studio cui Topper Headon prende posto dietro i piatti della batteria (dopo aver suonato già nel tour post primo disco), ma soprattutto è il racconto del rapporto odio-amore con gli Stati Uniti, fonte delle musiche vitali per loro stessi ma anche dell’ipocrisia, dei complotti. È un doppio disco che mostra la personale e infinita voglia di contaminare la musica di suoni e colori differenti: album pietra miliare per le musiche (l’incandescente title track), i temi (la violenza urbana di Guns Of Brixton, il terrorismo basco di Spanish Bombs), la copertina (che riprende la grafica dei primi dischi di Elvis con la foto di Simenon che distrugge il basso sul palco).

L’idea successiva, dopo un tour che li portò in mezzo mondo a suonare e una ormai consolidata fama di band impegnata, era piuttosto bizzarra: dopo aver imposto alla CBS il prezzo politico per London Calling di disco singolo pur essendo doppio, la band progettò la pubblicazione di 12 singolo uno per mese. Negata l’idea, ottenne di poter registrare per una settimana i mitici Electric Ladyland Studios di New York. Registrano di tutto, e tornano con una montagna di materiale a Londra. Inclusi vari remix dub di idee e canzoni. Mettono un po’ a posto tutto, e decidono di pubblicare tutto quello che avevano registrato, 36 canzoni, un triplo disco. La CBS non vorrebbe pubblicarlo, poi si accorda con la band: se volete anche stavolta il prezzo “politico imposto” dovete rinunciare ai diritti per le prime 200 mila copie. La band accettò.

Sandinista! è un omaggio al Fronte Sandinista di Liberazione Nazionale, un movimento rivoluzionario e partito politico nicaraguense protagonista nel 1979 del crollo del regime dittatoriale di Anastasio Somoza Debayle: deve il suo nome all’ispirarsi alle teorie di Augusto César Sandino, rivoluzionario nicaraguense, nonché uno dei conduttori della resistenza rivoluzionaria alla presenza militare statunitense in Nicaragua tra il 1927 e il 1933. Tra l’altro leggenda vuole che Margareth Thatcher odiasse profondamente il termine e avesse avuto l’idea di proibirlo in Gran Bretagna. Il disco allarga a dismisura l’osservazione del mondo, proprio perché, e le interviste dopo la pubblicazione lo confermeranno, i concerti li avevano portati dove non erano mai stati, potendo così vedere quello che non avevano mai visto. La musica non è mai stata così piena di influenze, di idee, tanto che i fan della prima ora lo criticarono aspramente, accusandolo di aver perso tutta la spontanea violenza del punk. Ma a ben vedere, i nostri non hanno affatto perso lo sguardo critico e potente sulle cose, lo hanno solo voluto esprimere in modi diversi. Bastano i 6 monumentali, e storici, minuti di The Magnificent Seven per spiegare tutto: primo brano di rap bianco, Mick Jones a New York rimase ipnotizzato dai primi lavori della Sugarhill Gang e dei Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five, è il viaggio nella testa di un operaio che si alza alle sette di mattina per andare al lavoro, che lavora per comprare regali alla sua fidanzata, ma che è anche un grande affondo alla realta del consumismo contemporaneo. Hitsville Uk è un brano che sa di gospel e di soul (il titolo è un omaggio alla Motown). C’è il Blues di Junco Partner e la sua versione dub in Version Pardner. Ivan Meets G.I. Joe è la cronaca surreale dell'incontro-scontro a ritmo di disco music tra un soldato americano e uno sovietico su una pista da ballo, in un tripudio di suoni da videogioco. The Call Up si apre con i cori dei Marines statunitensi, perché la chiamata del titolo è proprio un riferimento al servizio militare, dato che nel 1980 il Congresso ripristinò l'obbligo per gli uomini di età compresa tra 18 e 25 anni di registrarsi al Selective Service System. C’è persino un valzer, Rebel Waltz, Charlie Don't Surf è tratto da una celebre battuta del film Apocalypse Now, Police On My Back, divenuta famosissima, è una cover di un vecchio brano di Eddy Grant contro il regime dell'apartheid in Sudafrica. Il tutto con remix, versioni dub, riferimenti alle rivoluzioni in America Latina, perfino la voce di una bimba, Maria, figlia di Mick Gallagher che d�� una bella mano a suonare nel disco, che canta in modo stentato alcune strofe di Guns of Brixton accompagnata al pianoforte dal padre.

Ridondante, eccessivo, imperfetto, eppure spargerà fertilità ovunque e per decenni. Ricordo un ultima curiosità: non si sa se per caso o perché i Clash lo imposero, ma il numero di catalogo del triplo era 'FSLN1', stesso acronimo di Frente Sandinista de Liberación Nacional. Un ultimo riferimento magico ad un disco leggendario.

[despair-inc]

Thinking about every movie I saw in theaters (or remember watching in theaters, anyways) in 2024. Kind of a ranked list but the criteria is how much I liked it.

1: The Substance. The unchallenged lead for both "best movie I saw all year" and "favorite movie of the year". The beautifully grotesque child of New French Extremity and USAmerican style Elevated Horror, it has the best performances of the year, oodles of extremely impactful and pointed imagery, and amazing special effects. Just amazing stuff all around.

2: The Wild Robot. Undisputed champion of "best family movie of 2024”, it has beautiful visuals and makes quite a lot out of its simple and heartfelt story about family and community. Can't judge the original dub's performances because in Mexico it was only released in theaters dubbed into Lat Am Spanish, but hats off to the dub cast, they were killing it the entire film.

3: Robot Dreams. Technically a 2023 release, but in Mexico it played in early 2024, so it goes on the list. Amazingly heartfelt and melancholic, I was bawling on the theater. Once again, also just beautiful to look at, an amazing work of animation that functions entirely without dialogue.

4: Inside Out 2. I will always be biased in favor of Pixar because, like most people on this website, I grew up watching their movies, and those movies from 2010 and before are all universally good. That being said, after the stumbled releases of Lightyear and Elemental, this was a surprise by being actually pretty good. That being said, it's held back by having a plot that's basically a retread of the first movie (Riley experiences a stressful life situation and emotions that shouldn't be solely in charge of her mental state take over and fuck shit up), so overall it's a bit weak on that regard. Still, very solid and fun movie, and if The Wild Robot hadn't come out in the same year, it would be the strongest family release of a major USAmerican studio of the year. Possibly the best non-Toy Story sequel Pixar has made.

5: Wicked. It was pretty nice to have a live action musical film that was overall well made and performed and that people actually went to see, unlike shit like Cats or Dear Evan Hansen, or Spielberg's West Side Story which was actually good but no one went to see. People on here have ragged on the lighting and it is kinda bad in some scenes, but when actually watching it, I didn't really notice it, because the rest of the stuff was very compelling. Here's hoping that Part 2 lives up to the hype.

6: Dune 2. Not much to say about this one because I went to see it first thing in the morning after only sleeping like three hours, so I'm pretty sure I slept through like a quarter of the film. The stuff that I do remember was pretty good though, like that one fight scene in Black and White. I need to rewatch this one to give it a fair shot.

7: Deadpool & Wolverine. I'm like 90% sure that this was the only major USAmerican Superhero movie released in 2024, but it still probably would've been the best superhero movie of the year if others had released. I'm kinda hoping that they keep this movie as the final Deadpool movie because while it is pretty good at what it does, the shtick is too worn out. Like, where can Deadpool 4 go? It's not gonna happen, cause DP sells well and Reynolds has developed an allergy to appearing in movies that are creative, but dreaming is free.

8: In A Violent Nature. This is the movie that surprised me the most this year, even if I was already aware of the concept of "a slasher film from the killer's POV". The very sensate and deliberate aesthetics of having no non-diegetic music and constant scenes of our killer walking in the woods seem boring on paper but work very well when you're actually watching it, and when it goes for more traditional slasher film aesthetics, like the kill scenes, it does them exceptionally well. And the extremely tense monologue scene at the end is an amazing finale to cap things off. That being said, it can get pretty slow and I think that the concept only really works for one movie. I read that they're gonna make a second one, and I really hope that they think of a different aesthetic style for it because reusing this one will probably turn part 2 into a slog.

9: Next Goal Wins. First movie I saw this year, and it is thoroughly unremarkable and forgettable. Pretty standard white savior sports story where the main white guy learns to loosen up while the Samoans get good enough at actual football to reach their meager goal of scoring at least one goal in the climactic big game. It had some laughs, and it is the only movie I saw in theaters with an openly transgender character in it, but it's really nothing special or noteworthy. Hell, the most memorable thing about it for me is that the guy who sat in front of me when I watched it spent the whole movie playing games on his phone and blasting my eyes with its light. I wonder if Waititi will make movies worth watching again, or if he's gonna be pegged as peaking with Jojo Rabbit and then falling off.

10: We Live In Time. This movie was surprisingly good. I went to see it on a whim because I had to go pick up some stuff and there was a promo on the ticket prices at the time (30 MXN ticket at Cinemex Fashion Drive, it's a steal even if they recover the money with the popcorn), and I rather enjoyed the non linear structure and the very good performances. Honestly, it just gets a low spot because I've never been into pure romance films so it's a bit unmemorable for me, I ain't gonna watch it a second time.

11: Venom The Last Dance. I guess I didn't count it as a major USAmerican Superhero Movie because Sony's "Spider-Man minus Spider-Man Movie Universe" never felt like major releases, and the Venom movies, regardless of how much I have enjoyed them, are a bit like the cheap knockoff of Deadpool. And just like DP, the third entry is the weakest of the series. Unlike DP, at least we know that they're not gonna milk the series dry because in between the Symbiote dying at the end and the failure of Kraven the Hunter, I'm pretty sure that Sony is just gonna give up. The movie itself is a kinda subpar action film, and while it got me a few laughs and it has a few standout scenes, like Venom dancing with Mrs Chen or Otto Hightower's UFO Conspiracy Theorist family, it's nothing remarkable. It has a very "Movie that plays on Canal Cinco on a sunday morning" vibe.

12: Joker Folie A Deux. I don't need to tell everyone that this movie is bad. It flopped and everyone hated it. I'm actually in the camp that this movie is a bit better than its reputation makes it out to be. If nothing else, I'm giving Todd Phillips props for trying to make a movie that spits on the face of the misaimed fandom of the first one, even if he thoroughly fucked it up. Still, the attempts at making a diegetic jukebox musical fall completely flat, and the performances of Gaga and Phoenix can't save the script like Phoenix did on the first one. I can only recommend checking this one out via the magic of online piracy, it ain't worth money.

13: The Apprentice. This is the movie I hated the most out of all the movies I saw this year, mostly because the things I heard about it made it sound a lot better than it was. It's a political movie that, ultimately, only has the message that Donald Trump is Bad with very little examination of the systemic issues that made him rise to the position he rose to. It is overwrought, the performances can't save the script and it honestly wouldn't have been in theaters if it wasn't an election year. Worst movie I saw in 2024, not even worth pirating.

[dddesc]

thinking about my feelings on the dub. no hates here, just sorting my own opinion out to myself.

the dub seems very prevelant in the hnk fandom!... which is a struggle for me. the fact that nearly every dedesuka fanfic writes out dedede's dub accent phonetically confounds me. reading that feels like pulling teeth and i can't imagine feeling differently !

my opinion on 4kids was formed in my childhood. i felt so frustrated that they appeared to come at their properties with this base level of disrespect towards both the source material and their young audiences... dumbing down their content, erasing cultural references, and removing darker concepts (like threats of violence or death), all for the sake of appealing to uppity parents or network execs. it came off as cynical and disingenuine. very bothering to kid me!

being an adult now, i know better than to think the writer's room didn't care about what they were doing and instead realize that they probably had to struggle quite a bit with the censorship. it was a different time back then and i imagine that studios, especially for children's tv and especially for children's tv coming from across the water (people are still guilty of that offensive "WTF japan's so WEEEIRD and CRAAAZY" mentality, so who knows what it was like back then), weren't allowed a lot of wiggle room. i can say that i'm surprised at the amount they let right back at ya get away with. hoshi no kaabii was a pretty bizarre show and 4kids just kinda rolled with a lot of it.

i do appreciate right back at ya for... what it is. i like what some of the english vas bring to the table -- ted lewis is a very funny man, dan green is a perfect customer service, i can't help but feel biased towards maddie blaustein's performances, and spanish meta knight never fails to make me laugh -- but some writing and acting decisions feel flippant (not to mention the fact that beside the acceptable performances, there are some absolutely GRATING voices in there; tiff and tuff's line reads make me feel insane). the dub comes off as a big joke, which i think contributes to why it's been memed to death. i can't take it seriously, and i don't really want to!

i'm not going to pretend like hoshi no kaabii in its original form is like, emotionally deeper than the dub or anything. but what i do know is this:

kenichi ogata was, is, and always will be the dedede va of my all time. he plays such a lively and charming interpretation of dedede; he's old, he's loud, he's mean, he's cute. and maybe i'm gay and anime dedede being my first major childhood crush did something to my brain chemistry but we don';t have to talk about that. when i hear him i feel very something.

naoki tatsuta is a powerhouse as escargon. he mentions in an interview barely being able to keep up, and i don't blame him -- he goes in hard, and it gave escargon so much character. his exasperation is palpable (and, apparently, genuine!).

there are no voices in the japanese version that straight up bother me. every voice suits each character, at the very least, well enough.

at the end of the day, this is all subjective. tons of people like the dub enough to view it as their main visualization of the anime. i almost wish i could see what they see so that i had an easier time immersing myself within fan creations... almost. the japanese cast is just too likable to me. so i will continue to not see what other people see and i will enjoy it. i'll just grumble a little to myself about having to refer to "escargoon" and 4kids re-characterizations whenever i edit wikirby pages.

[feudalmerengue]

Hello inuyasha fandom

Quick question in which language do u watch Inuyasha ?

Bc I only watch it in the Latin Spanish dub (or rarely in Japanese if I can’t find it in Spanish). But bc VIZ hates us they sent the movies to a Venezuelan studio that did a terrible job and since the movies r on yt in English I decided to give it a try.

WTF W KAGOME’S VOICE?!?!?!

NO WONDER WHY SOME PPL CALL HER ANNOYING SOMETIMES. SHE SOUNDS LIKE DORA THE EXPLORER

Her regular talking is annoying, the only decent parts are when she is sad or something. I don’t think is the voice actress’s fault or anything I think her voice is good but it’s the way they want her to be talking w that weird high pitched sound at the end of each sentence. When she is not doing that she sounds so much better

How did u guys do it for the entire series+movies+yashajime ????

I mean I’m actually jealous of that bc both Yashajime and the movies don’t have the original actors which is extremely annoying bc both of those dubs are terrible. I could go on in a huge rant about it but that’s for later

[sirfrogsworth]

Again, I think people are missing the nuance here.

They are using his voice and his performance and changing it to another language. The spirit of his performance remains intact. I agree, some actors may not see it that way and a system of consent is needed. But she is blowing this particular example way out of proportion.

I see this as an accessibility feature. When I watch a foreign film, my brain fog makes it very hard to parse subtitles. I often have to settle for an unenthusiastic dub that does not match the performance or tone or voice of the original actor. And that always bums me out. Sometimes I will find myself watching a scene in the original language and then rewatching it with the dub. But I just can't do that for an entire movie.

I think using AI to deepfake someone's voice and make them say something they never agreed to is a misuse of this technology. But taking their voice and their performance and converting it into another language seems more valid to me.

I just wish someone other than Justine was the advocate here. She does not understand the technology she is fighting against and she sees any implementation of it as bad. If you remember my previous post, she thought VFX was the same as A.I. and wanted to give a "stamp of approval" to movies that did not use CGI. Thus trying to throw talented artists under the bus even though their work has nothing to do with generative A.I.

If you actually watch the video she is enraged by, it was a tech demo. They did not take an entire Cary Grant movie, convert it to Spanish, and then release it commercially.

It was a 10 second clip to show the possibilities of this tech. I don't know if they got permission from Grant's family. And perhaps it would have been better to use a different performance with permission. But I don't think we need to yell at this delightful nerd from Adobe for making a small mistake in a tech demo.

I would hope for a major studio movie, they would get releases and agreements from all of the performers to do this. But this response is a little melodramatic.

This could be a game changer for small content creators too. A small YouTuber could increase their reach worldwide by releasing their videos in many languages. Foreign audiobooks would be more accessible. People with visual impairments who cannot read subtitles at all can enjoy foreign content.

I keep saying this, but A.I. is a tool. It is not inherently good or bad. We just have to be careful how we use it. And I agree we need to get consent from performers whenever this tech is used. But it is a real shame that Justine couldn't see the possibilities of this particular tool.

[elbiotipo]

Howdy, a question if I may. In LatAm everything (from what I understand) is dubbed. For context I'm from a country where dubbing is only made for children's shows (until very recently actually), so I was curious about something: is the LatAm Castilian dub used for all/most countries, or does each country have their own studie? Like for example would the Spider-verse Castilian dub for Argentina and Venezuela be the same, or would it have different regional voice actors?

Also would a movie from Spain* be dubbed into LatAm Castilian? I saw them do this with once with newsreels in Brazil like the PM of Portugal spoke lmao

(*Specifically a movie in Castilian, since I'm assuming a movie in Basque or Galician would be naturally be dubbed, which happens inside Spain itself)

This is a complicated question because I'm sure it varies from show to show. Generally, yes, most movies, TV shows and cartoons are dubbed into a "neutral Spanish" here in Latin America. Many famous dub actors are well known for inserting their personality on the dubs (like the one for Gokú, for Homero Simpson and such). AFAIK it depends on studio to studio, I'm sure they have contracts and sometimes they have constant performances for a particular actor or character (for example, the dub actor for Will Smith is instantly recognizable to me), but these dubs are distributed all over Latin America. They resemble the Mexican dialect the most with some Colombia/Venezuelan, but you can find some easter eggs from other countries (especially in cartoons, they get really wild with dubs sometimes)

I'm not sure about other countries. Argentina does not have its own dubs for foreign movies, but Encuentro (and I think Paka-Paka, a children's educational network) do dub foreign documentaries into Rioplatense Spanish, with voseo and everything. It's interesting to listen when one is accostumed to "neutral" Spanish. I think there was a movement to dub movies and shows too, but I'm not sure it got anywhere.

I have not heard of movies from Spain getting dubbed to "Latin American" but I think I remember some Latin American movies dubbed to Castillian Spanish, I might be misremembering, perhaps my followers can say.

[historyhermann]

Villainous Review

Villainous, also known as Villanos, is animated series which mixes the science fantasy, morbid humor, and comedy horror genres. Alan Ituriel, a veteran of the Mexican animation industry, is the series creator. This series is produced by Ituriel's A.I. Animation Studios and Cartoon Network. Humberto Cervera and Mayte Sanz are also executive producers. There will be spoilers.

Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs and Wayback Machine. This was the thirty-third article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on May 26, 2023.

This series flips the script often employed in superhero fiction such as Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Tokyo Mew Mew (and the reboot), Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon Crystal, Vixen, and Young Justice. It focuses on the Black Hat Organization, run by the villainous Black Hat (voiced by Ituriel). He is assisted by his team of three aides: Dr. Flug (voiced by Yian Riuz), Demencia (voiced by Cindy Eliz Pérez), and 5.0.5. (voiced by Mark Fischbach). They are contracted by other villains to "solve" their problems with heroes, either directly or indirectly, or sell inventions created by Dr. Flug. Their plans often go awry with comical and absurd consequences.

Villainous has garnered a massive following since the first webisodes premiered in 2012, followed by efforts by Ituriel to pitch the series to Cartoon Network. This resulted in the pilot airing in June 2019. The series had a backdoor pilot in the Season Two Victor and Valentino episode "Villainy In Monte Macabre", in October 2020. There were 29 shorts featuring the same characters, which aired from May 2017 to February 2019 on the Cartoon Network Latin America YouTube channel. Even one "episode" was released which consisted of the creators rick-rolling the show's fans.

Some have posted their own dubs of the show's six episodes, which were released in Spanish language in October 2021, on HBO Max LA, and other content. Their recent, and official, release as part of "Season 1a" on the newly renamed "Max" streaming service (formerly known as "HBO Max"), makes them more accessible to new and old fans alike.

The first episode of Villainous sets the tone. A superhero named Sunblast (voiced by Roly Gutiérrez) beats up a villain, Penumbra (voiced by Rebecca Manriquez), because his new punching bag hasn't been delivered. It is also a good introduction to each of the characters: a nervous and nerdy scientist in his 20s named Dr. Flug who wears a paper bag over his head, a green-haired mischief-loving fan of Black Hat named Demencia, and a big blue bear named 5.0.5. The latter is a contradiction, as he was intended to be evil, but is very loving, and likes hugging people. He also serves as the housekeeper-of-sorts of the Black Hat Organization (BHO).

Even from the first episode you can somewhat sympathize with these villains, despite their trapping of Sunblast in a jar, punching Ringworm (voiced by Sean Davis) into submission, and dropping heroes in pits without a second thought. This sympathy is clear when the three protagonists are yelled at by Black Hat for doing a "mediocre" job. One character in particular, Dr. Flug, is scared of his boss (Black Hat), ghosts like Emilia (voiced by Jackie Rodriguez), wrestlers, and almost being killed by heroes.

I liked how the series mixes humor with violence and "course language". For instance, a group of kids, based on Scooby-Doo protagonists, are scared off by a possessed fence. Later, the unstoppable Bulldozer (voiced by David Steel) attempts to destroy the Outlaw House (voiced by Alex Texeira). He is stopped by 5.0.5., as bears terrify him after one bit him years ago.

Sometimes this comedy is continued during the episode credits. In the episode 2 credits, Bulldozer ends up in the cave house of the three protagonists of We Bare Bears (Grizzly, Panda, and Ice Bear), another CN series. In the credits of the fourth episode, the heroic Airlock (voiced by Jinon Deebs), a short-haired White woman, is eaten by a space monster. This is after she escaped the show's protagonists because she found them as very "annoying".

This brings me to another part which I enjoy about Villainous: crossovers with other series. The third episode, reportedly a homage to the Mexican wrestling films of the 1960s, features characters from Victor and Valentino and Helluva Boss in the stands. A few episodes later, Johnny Bravo, from the series of the same name, is a background character, while the robotic lawyers for Black Hat bring plagiarism cases against characters from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

That same episode also features Harvey Birdman from the Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, and characters from Grim and Evil like Hector Con Carne. Again, these are all CN series, which makes the crossovers all the more interesting.

In the third episode of Villainous, the three protagonists are tasked at eliminating a luchador named El Valiente (voiced by Jose Aparicio) by their client, Adelita Guerrero (voiced by Margarita Coego). It reminds me of three series: Carmen Sandiego, Elena of Avalor and Victor and Valentino.

In the latter two, there are episodes in which the protagonists, or supporting characters, are possessed by a mask, like Mascara Macabra (voiced by Aparicio) in this series, or another individual. As for Carmen Sandiego, the Season Three opening episode features Carmen attending a wrestling match in hopes of finding her mother.

The characters of Villainous become even more relatable in the last couple episodes. In the fourth episode, Dr. Flug's favorite series is spoiled by a sassy A.I. named V.I.R.U.S. (voiced by Sean Davis). Even worse, 5.0.5. is horrified when Black Hat ruins a children's show, almost akin to the Teletubbies. It becomes horrific after Black Hat causes the Sun to light the bears on fire.

The series pokes fun at itself. In one episode, the copycats/doppelgangers claim they are BHO in order to rake in profits for themselves. This is better executed than the "Pirates" episode of Cleopatra in Space, as each of the protagonists comes across a "stronger" version of themselves. Hilariously, and sadly, 5.0.5.'s counterpart is just a cactus. In that same episode, I liked how Dr. Flug blatantly interrupts the "origin story" of the other version of Black Hat, annoying him to no end.

The final episode of Villainous ends the series on bang. It focuses on a self-absorbed social media influencer named Miss Heed (voiced by Katherine Clavelo), who Dr. Flug knew when he went to the academy. She is far worse than those depicted in the first season of The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, or the currently airing Kizuna no Allele.

In fact, Heed has a special concoction she sprays on the city residents to make them love her. In an indictment of such influencers, also known as internet personalities or internet celebrities, and their power, Dr. Flug is able to take her down, with the assistance of Demencia. His kiss with her, is streamed and goes viral. It causes all of her zombie "fans" to fall out of love with her.

While some series would have stopped there, Villainous goes the extra step. Heed is pushed into a vat of her own liquid, ending her plan to be the "most-loved" hero. She is locked up in a maximum security prison. Fitting with her personality, she falls off her rocker, and demands that people need to love her. In one of the best scenes in the series, Flug, after learning about Goldheart's plan to eliminate all villains, tells Heed that she needs to love herself first (i.e. self-love) before she can love anyone else.

The entire sequence, at first, appears to reinforce retributive justice paradigms. The latter involves punishment being imposed unilaterally, no option for remorse, and crime in the domain of the state. This is interlinked with the narrative that violence is justified as long as it is directed at those deemed as "evil". It further involves heroes in league with the criminal system and has an assumption that villains cannot be rehabilitated. On the other hand, Villainous turns this around, as Heed is a hero and Flug is a villain, meaning that a "hero" is being locked away for something a "villain" would do.

While Flug's kiss is a one-off interaction, Demencia's romantic obsession with Black Hat spans the series. She believes that her romantic feelings will be reciprocated, but he likely doesn't care much about her. However, her love saves her from Heed's concoction, as she only has love for him. More than anything, Demencia is an obsessed fan. Perhaps her character is symbolic of out-of-control fans which feel the same way about public figures, to the detriment of themselves and those personalities.

All in all, this series has many similarities to Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, especially the former. BHO somewhat resembles I.M.P. (Immediate Murder Professionals). The latter is contracted by demons in hell to assassinate people in the world of the living. The difference is that BHO specifically focuses on heroes and is only contracted by villains.

The last episode of Villainous, at present, lays the groundwork for future episodes. Goldheart (voiced by Oliver Roberts) seems to know Dr. Flug, declaring "Flug, what did you do now?" The efforts of BHO to counter him could be an important storyline.

A possible second season, might not follow a serialized format. The six current episodes have the same characters, but are not, serialized. Each episode could stand on its own. This does not diminish the series, however.

The voice actors for this series stand out. Apart from Ituriel, Yian Riuz, Cindy Eliz Pérez, and Mark Fischbach, who voice the protagonists, are all talented. Fischbach is a well-known YouTuber, with this as his first voice role. In contrast, Pérez previously played a character in BoBoiBoy Elemental Heroes, and Riuz in Mashed!

Similarly, Sahid Pabon, Roly Gutiérrez, Connie Fernandez, Yenni Ann, Guia Burns, and Jason Kessler, who voice villains, wrestlers, henchmen, and others in the series, are equally talented. They have lent their voices to characters in Monkey King Reborn, Legend Quest, Gintama, Leo De Vinci, Rainbow High, Kageki Shojo!!, and Kemono Friends.

This is also the case for the Spanish-language voice actors, such as José Antonio Macías, Melissa Gedeón, Lourdes Arruti, and Diego Valenzuela. They have voiced characters in video games, animated shorts, and productions such as Guardians of Oz, and Top Cat.

The producers of Villainous worked on The Flying Machine, Hua Se, Frankelda's Book of Spooks, Pucca, Pandalian, Eden, Tonikawa: Over the Moon for You, and Xi you ji. Kevin Manthei, the music composer, worked on Ben 10, Spider-Man, Robot Chicken, Ultimate Spider-Man, Polly Pocket, Hanny Manny, Invader Zim, and Generator Rex.

Other than the amazing dubbing by VOA Studios, in Miami, the show's crew includes alums from many series. This includes Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, Dota: Dragon's Blood, Black Dynamite, Legend of Korra, OK K.O. Let's Be Heroes!, Danger House, Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law, and Scan2Go.

Villainous is more than a series with humor reminiscent of 1990s cartoons. It has themes about overcoming your inner demons and lampoons popular Cartoon Network series. This is accompanied by entertaining characters, which have intriguing dynamics and comraderie within the BHO, wonderful animation, character design, artwork, and creativity. What other series has villains traveling to their destination in a flying hat spewing smoke?

I haven't watched enough Invader Zim or The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy to say if Villainous is like those series. However, each character is interesting enough and the story is engaging that Villainous could run for many seasons. If Helluva Boss has aired 12 episodes, why can't Villainous do the same? Perhaps the cast could become even more diverse and LGBTQ characters could be added. The latter would further enhance the series.

Unfortunately, Villainous comes at a time of extreme flux at Max's parent company, Warner Bros. Discovery. This includes an error causing writers, directors, and creators to all be lumped together into one category. There has been an awful rollout of the "Max"  streaming service, in an inane effort to "attract" families.

This comes after the cruel content purge at HBO Max, former name for the service. It resulted in the removal of Infinity Train, Mighty Magiswords, Uncle Grandpa, Final Space, and Close Enough. None of them have been re-added to Max. The content purge on Hulu, and on Max, was discussed in a PCM podcast on May 22nd.

Despite the shenanigans of the corporate executives, I am hopeful that Villainous will be continued with additional episodes. All in all, I highly recommend Villainous as a series to watch.

Villainous is currently streaming on Max.

© 2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 5 WORST Dracula Portrayals

Anyone who knows me well by now should also know that one of my favorite stories of all time is Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I love the book, and I love seeing how the story and its titular character are reimagined throughout the breadth of pop culture. And there are PLENTY of reimaginings and adaptations to go around: Count Dracula, alongside Sherlock Holmes, is one of the most frequently reinterpreted characters in the history of fiction. Of course, with so many interpretations, there are plenty of great Draculas out there: Christopher Lee, Bela Lugosi, Max Schreck, Gary Oldman, and more. But with the good must also come the bad: there are a LOT of really terrible Dracula movies and portrayals out there, just as there are a lot of really fun ones… …And I actually haven’t seen many of them. Well…actually, I suppose I have, but it depends on what you’re really looking at. For example, I love John Carradine’s PORTRAYAL of Dracula, but the movies he was actually in were often sub-par. Grandpa from “The Munsters” and the version from “Hotel Transylvania” are comical, incompetent buffoons, but they’re meant to be parody characters and I like them for the humor and campy silliness they provide. There are even a couple of Draculas that a lot of people seem to dislike that I actually think are okay. I have no big problem with Rudolf Martin from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (admittedly, this may partially be because I have only watched all of two episodes of that show), nor with Richard Roxburgh from “Van Helsing,” yet in researching this list, I found out that a LOT of people REALLY dislike those interpretations, as an example. Finally, it’s worth pointing out that I have, in fact, DELIBERATELY AVOIDED watching several bad Draculas because…well…they’re bad. And I KNOW they’re bad. Why in the world would I want to watch something that is notoriously terrible, aside from just…ascertaining that it IS, in fact, terrible. So, for instance, I haven’t seen “Dracula in Istanbul,” “Blacula,” “Dracula’s Dog,” and/or many, many other horrendously dreadful renditions that have gained some notoriety.

With all that said, this doesn’t mean that I’ve liked every single version of Dracula - as a character or as a story - that I’ve seen. Even I know a few Draculas that I frankly just don’t like. And it’s worth knowing the mistakes that have been made when handling this character, as much as it is worth praising the achievements. So, today, in honor of World Dracula Day, we’re gonna take a look at some of the worst of the worst from Transylvania. These are, in my personal, humble, and EXTREMELY biased opinion, the Top 5 Worst Portrayals of Count Dracula.

5. Carlos Villarias, from “Spanish Dracula.”

What is “Spanish Dracula,” some of you may be wondering? Well, here’s the basics: in 1931, Universal wanted to release their screen adaptation of Dracula in both English AND in Spanish. This was still in the early days of sound, and as a result, dubbing was a concept that really hadn’t been fully figured out. Typically, the way American studios handled making foreign-language movies, as a result, was just doing a second version of the film with different actors, all speaking the language intended. Very, very few of these alternate language films exist, and I think many would agree that the Spanish version of Dracula is one of the most famous to survive. In English, of course, Dracula was played by the immortal Bela Lugosi…and for the Spanish cast? They got this guy: Carlos Villarias. Many critics feel the Spanish Dracula is actually better, on a technical level, than the Lugosi outing. Having seen both films, I can’t say I agree: SOME things ARE better in it, but other things…ehhhh, the English version has them beat by a mile. It’s biggest problem is the cast, and ESPECIALLY Villarias as Dracula. I know nothing about this actor beyond this movie; maybe he’s great in other things, maybe he was just miscast…I don’t know. All I DO know is that, even if you take Lugosi’s iconic interpretation out of the equation, this is an AWFUL Dracula. How bad is he? Imagine if “Dracula: Dead & Loving It” was actually trying to take itself seriously. THAT is the best way I can describe this performance. Villarias comes off as more comical than creepy, his exaggerated and often bizarre expressions seeming like a parody of something that hasn’t even gained the legacy it needs to BE parodied yet. We all love to mock Lugosi occasionally, but Villarias feels like self-mockery already in the works, and - through both his performance and some differences in the writing/direction - comes across as a clownish idiot rather than a superior monster or an elegant aristocrat. The Spanish Dracula has its ups and downs, but Villarias certainly proves that one bad element can bring down an otherwise decent product.

4. Peter Karrie, from Nosferatu the Vampire: The Musical.

I am aware of at least four musical theatre interpretations of Dracula. The most famous one is a stage show by Frank Wildhorn, which isn’t great, but does have some good songs and has been done quite a few times with great actors. Another was a concept album by the musical trio of Evans, Orton, and Lynn; that one featured Michael McCarthy as the Count, and was never actually staged. Like the Wildhorn show, it’s not really that great, but it has a few good songs and performers. There’s also a musical comedy version, which I haven’t actually looked at, but I’ve heard is pretty good…and then there’s this show. Ostensibly, “Nosferatu the Vampire: The Musical” is a musical adaptation of the classic silent film “Nosferatu,” which is widely considered the first true Dracula movie ever made, and is certainly the oldest surviving adaptation. HOWEVER, that’s not really the case: the show is really sort of a blend of Nosferatu, the Bram Stoker novel, and some original material, all rolled into one…and it is ABYSMAL. I was SHOCKED to learn that this show has been staged more than once, and that the original cast recording actually featured some pretty big names in musical theatre. The most notable is poor Peter Karrie, one of the greatest performers of another Gothic legend, the Phantom of the Opera. I’ll give Karrie credit, his voice is beautiful (he’s played the Angel of Music, it kind of has to be), but not even his golden pipes can save this train wreck. The plot is terrible, the characters are bland, the morals are confusing, and there’s WAY too much focus on the sexual angles of the story in this for my comfort. (The sensuality of the vampire IS a topic that is present in the book, mind you, and far from something new...but you have to be VERY careful how you touch it. Trust me.) Worst of all, the music - very frankly - just isn’t that good. The lyrics are vapid and rambling, the orchestration and rhythms feel very “samey” throughout…it’s just DULL. With the other musicals, I can at least give them credit for a few catchy numbers, but this one? I can’t really remember much of anything these characters say or sing, I just remember the boredom and nonsense of the whole clumsy heap. As a result, Karrie’s shot at playing the Count is essentially the opposite of our previous pick: sometimes not even having a great performer can save terrible material, and this is a good example of that.

3. The Version from “Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned.”

I’ll confess that I hesitated to include this Dracula on the list - as well as another one later on - because he’s actually based on Marvel’s Dracula, specifically. Marvel’s Dracula - in other things - has been good. However, after some minor debate, I felt that both of the aforementioned versions simply HAD to be addressed, since - ties to Marvel or not - they are abominable interpretations. Released in some countries under the title “The Tomb of Dracula” (taken from the comic series it is purportedly based on), “Sovereign of the Damned” was an anime movie made by Toei, released in the early 80s. In the original Japanese version, the Count is voiced by Kenji Utsumi; in English, he’s dubbed - VERY badly - by Tom Wyner. If you’re wondering if the dubbing is in any way a contributing factor to this film’s terribleness…don’t worry: this movie is ATROCIOUS no matter what language the characters speak. (Believe me, I know.) The film unwisely attempts to adapt an entire many-issue comic series into a single hour-and-a-half-long story, which works about as well as you’d expect. The plot is like the Grinch’s soul: “an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots.” Character development goes entirely out the window, and Dracula himself arguably suffers the worst for this. The Count comes across as a total klutz in the film: the movie attempts to make him a sympathetic anti-hero, but the story is such a shambles you never really get to know him well enough to root for him, and he spends most of the movie either running away from danger or being foiled at every turn, with little indication of how truly powerful he really is. He comes across as an idiot much of the time, and isn’t even present for a big chunk of the film to begin with! With a title like “Sovereign of the Damned,” I can safely say I expected more.

2. All of the Actors from Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires.

This is probably one of the weirdest Dracula movies I’ve ever seen, as well as one of the worst. “Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires” was an out-of-continuity entry in the popular Hammer Dracula series, which famously starred Christopher Lee as the Count. At the time “Seven Golden Vampires” came out, however, Lee had left the role, feeling deeply disappointed by the previous and “official” final film in the series, “The Satanic Rites of Dracula.” Hammer studios, meanwhile, was teetering on the brink of collapse, and was really struggling for creative ideas. The result of these combined problems led to this colossal, mad junkyard of a movie: a bizarre blend of Kung Fu action adventure and Gothic chiller. Now, this combination, on its own terms, I actually don’t think is a totally bad idea: if you look far enough, you’ll find good examples of how you can blend the styles of martial-arts-focused action and Gothic horror together. This, however, is not one of them, and part of the problem stems from how poorly Dracula, himself, is managed. Without Lee to handle the reins, Hammer called instead upon contract player John Forbes-Robertson to play the Count. However, Forbes-Robertson doesn’t even GET to play Dracula for most of the film: he only appears at the beginning and in the climactic final battle between himself and Van Helsing. For most of the movie, Dracula’s spirit has possessed the body of a Chinese criminal known as Kah, played by Chan Shen. Instead of getting Forbes-Robertson to do the voice, Kah’s “Dracula Voice” is provided instead by dubbing actor David de Keyser. All three of these actors…are terrible. Forbes-Robertson is a stiff and somewhat silly Dracula when he is onscreen, and is defeated in a highly anticlimactic way in the end. Chan Shen as Kah comes across as a caricature more than a true "character," and his bodily performance feels like a strange blend of kabuki and English pantomime. Meanwhile, Keyser’s very badly-dubbed performance is wooden and stilted. When it takes three men to replace just one, and NONE of them do the job even remotely well? It feels like a true disgrace not only to the character, but also to the one who played him before. I’ll give all three of them this, they at least help to show what made Lee’s Dracula so singlehandedly spectacular.

1. Dominic Purcell, from Blade: Trinity.

This is the other Marvel Dracula on the list I mentioned a while ago. All of my entries up till now have been very long-winded, I know…but my reasons for naming poor Dominic Purcell from the abominable shambles that is “Blade: Trinity” as my pick for the absolute worst Dracula I’ve ever seen is much easier to explain. That reason can be summed up in the following phrase: this is not Dracula. This simply isn’t. I get what the movie was attempting to do - trying to focus on Dracula as this ancient, demonic warrior figure rather than “the Count,” so to speak. However, as various other versions have shown, there are ways you can focus on the “aggressive” aspects of Dracula AND STILL MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE DRACULA. Purcell is simply miscast and misdirected: he doesn’t look like a duck, he doesn’t quack like a duck, he doesn’t waddle like a duck, and therefore it’s fair to say he ain’t Duckula. I’m sure he’s trying his best, but - and it's a shame to say these words - his best just isn’t good enough. For that reason, above all else, he takes the number one spot on this list. There is literally no worse sin I can think of than looking at someone playing such a character and having nothing else to say but, “you, sir, are no Dracula.” 

(DIS)HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Leslie Nielsen, from Dracula: Dead and Loving It.

I know lots of people actually like this movie, but I personally do not. I just don’t think it’s very funny, for the most part, and even as far as spoofs go, I feel Leslie Nielsen is a weird choice for the character. It isn’t completely terrible, however - there’s a few jokes that make me laugh strewn throughout, and I like Peter MacNicol as Renfield - so it gets a pass from the top five.

Lon Chaney, Jr. from Son of Dracula.

It’s left somewhat ambiguous if the character in this film, “Count Alucard,” is indeed the Son of Dracula, or Dracula himself. This, for the record, is why things like “Hellsing” and “Castlevania” have used the name Alucard for both purposes: this is the movie that came up with that alias. While the invention of the name is noteworthy, the film itself is flawed. Chaney - God bless him - is woefully miscast. Whether he’s Dracula OR his Son, I think he did much better in his other Universal Monster roles.

Udo Kier, from Andy Warhol’s Dracula AND Langley Kirkwood, from Dracula 3000.

In both of these cases, I haven't even FINISHED these movies because they're just so freaking terrible. I've only seen parts of them, never the full thing through. I didn't feel it was fair to give them actual placement on the ranks as a result, but they're definitely worth noting for their own dreadfulness levels. In Udo Kier's case, I'd much rather watch him riding on the back of a T. Rex...bravo, if you got that reference.