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ma1dita · 1 year ago

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liar, liar

part two cn be found here-> truth be told

words: little under 2k

summary: sirius black is a good liar. spot how many times sirius lies in this fic.

warnings: slight nondescript smut!! errr cursing & another self-deprecating marauder, mostly unrequited love/being led on, sirius’s trauma response, fem!reader is too good for sirius, fem!reader has ‘i can fix him’ complex

a/n: guys… i thought of this prompt and the necklace Alex Russo wore in WoWP and suddenly, complex by katie gregson-macleod started playing so…sorry if this gets sadder.

(posted 9/8/23 & edited 11/6/23)

—

At the very core of him, Sirius Black is a liar.

It’s not directly his fault, but a subliminal result of the loveless household he grew up in. Lies roll off his experienced tongue more naturally than when he’s ever tried to say I love you. So he’s convinced himself that it’s easier to live life this way, without love. If love ever fell into his hands, he’s not quite sure what he’d do with it.

If Sirius Black could be defined, he thinks it would lack the word love and instead encompass a lot of his anger. Fiery, palpable anger, deep set in his core. That’s what he is. There are a lot of things to be angry about in this life, after all.

—

You’re 16 and this birthday party might’ve been your best idea yet. Your friends are dotted around your dorm room, along with some people you’ve invited from your classes. Among the forming crowd, you spot one Sirius Black. You don’t talk much outside of being Potions partners, and you get by with smiles in the halls and friendly touches. He’s looking at you from across the room like he knows you intimately, but that is far from the truth. Sirius Black is an enigma if anything, but what’s more unusual to you even after three shots of firewhiskey is the fact that he doesn't have any of his friends in tow. He meanders around the open space before circling back towards your direction as if that wasn’t his plan in the first place.

“Trouble in paradise?” you joke, gesturing to the space his posse would usually occupy behind him. He scoffs, avoiding the question, giving you a proper kiss on the cheek instead as he loops his arms around your waist. It piques your interest; you’ve always loved a challenge.

“Happy birthday, gorgeous.”

Sirius is handing you a small jewelry box, and you look at him dumbfounded. You’re barely even friends.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Black. I just called you over to get drunk with me and my mates.” You giggle, cheeks red from the alcohol.

It’s a necklace. A magical, really expensive one. Sirius is gauging your reaction, scratching the back of his neck. It’s easy to put a price to something rather than show you all of his cards.

“Well, aren't I special? This is too much, Black. I shouldn’t…” Your soft hands are pushing the box into his impenetrable wall of a chest as you shake your head in disbelief. No one’s ever gotten you something this nice or expensive before. You wonder if he does this to all the other girls that fawn over him.

“It’s nothing. I insist. You keep me distracted in Slughorn’s class and for that, you get a prize just as pretty as you.” He’s holding your wrists now, rubbing them casually like this isn’t the most intimate encounter you’ve had with him yet. Somehow you can sense that he needs this more than you do. To be needed. He doesn’t want to tell you that you’re the only one making him smile nowadays since his friends haven’t talked to him in weeks. You indulge in this behavior, because it’s new and exciting, and who would say no to Sirius Black?

The party ends much later after you tease him until his wit’s end, and then it’s your whispered approval that moves him to move his body over yours, the rest of your clothes quickly flying off in his pursuit to become a part of you. Physically and metaphorically, his being overtakes you quickly. Deep into the night, when he’s fucking you into your mattress, the necklace he gave you swings back and forth against your chest with every thrust of his hips, every bump of the headboard against the wall thumping the final nails into the coffin. You can’t help but feel special as he lays kisses on your spine. You know this isn’t intimacy in Sirius’ world though. This isn’t love, it’s bodies yearning for connection, to find something meaningful. To string the words to define how to pass the time. You hope he finds what he’s looking for between your sheets and as he breathes into your hair.

Sirius is angry at the world and he’s chosen you to be his target. What color on your necklace can define the fact you wanted him to fuck you brainless anyways? What can accurately portray the shaking of his hands as he slaps the fat of your thighs? Both of you don’t remember, but all he knows is your naked bosom is glowing amber as you pant, and it looks and feels like you’re on fire. Lust has a way of consuming the body, both of you moving until you cannot anymore, anatomy animated by the need for touch.

He needed this, a distraction. And you just wanted a crazy story to tell. You keep note of the fact that Sirius likes it when you moan his name, and he makes it his mission for you to scream the name he grew up hating because it sounds pretty coming from your mouth. Because here in this room, it means something other than disappointment.

“Oh my god, baby, right there!”

“Don’t call me that. I’m not your baby.” he pants, pulling your hair roughly as he jackhammers into you. No pet names or endearments are allowed. Just Sirius, and he’ll correct you if you get it wrong. By the end of it, you’re slurring your words and screaming nonsense anyway. You think nothing of it.

He wants you as much as you’ll have him, which, when you’re 16, you think can be made a priority just to keep his eyes on you. Everyone wants a piece of Sirius Orion Black. And your hands are stretched out in hopes of partaking in this transaction of physicality and sin. Weeks later, after you seemingly fall asleep in the boys’ dorm, James asks Sirius if you’re his girlfriend. “She’s…alright,” he mumbles into the air. They’ve finally forgiven him for The Prank after your urges to get Sirius to swallow his ego. He never got to thank you for it. Gratitudes and endearments were a rarity at Grimmauld Place.

Peter whispers in the dark of their dorm and asks Sirius if he could ever fall in love with you. With your eyes closed and your head lying against his chest, you feel him shrug as he traces a hickey he left on your collarbone. What is love to Sirius Black? He’s looking at your chest glow red, and his hand clutches the pendant in his fist, trying to dim its light. You go to sleep instead. The incandescent glow of the pendant seeps beneath your eyelids.

—

You’re 19 and sometimes you wonder if it’d be easier to be dead. Good days are a relief for all to have, presenting themselves as scarce and far apart in your new normal. There’s a war going on and you think it’s criminal to consider yourself adult enough to fight in it, but you and your friends–and your boyfriend do. You sleep in Sirius’ apartment more than your own now, but he never calls you his girlfriend, he just calls you his, and you convince yourself to not worry so much about it because death itself is coming for everyone you know. You’re together, and that’s what matters, right? There are bigger problems at hand.

Between Auror missions, Sirius has a bad habit of picking fights with you in front of your friends, which now include his friends. A lot of you comes from him, which you don’t resent. They’re lovely, but they see through the struggle. They know him too well, and you go to every gathering with an inkling that they know how mean Sirius can truly be. Old habits die hard. Tonight he yells at you because you won’t let him get a fifth beer.

“Always thinking you know better than me, (Y/N). You’re not my fucking wife, so I don’t need to listen to you! No one wants to hang around a killjoy.”

He wrenches his grip from your thigh, nearly toppling your chair over to stomp over to the bar himself. Everyone stares at you, waiting for you to react before they judge. Before they defend their friend. His behavior has been erratic lately with his world crumbling as he knows it. But then again, Sirius has never known life without chaos.

“I know it’s not… ideal. But he’s a good guy. We’re all just going through shit right now. His brother’s missing, so I’m there when he needs me.” Which is always, you omit from your response. You don’t mind being needed though. Helping him fight his demons is a part of being in a relationship with someone so damaged. You bring him light when his mind darkens. That is not transactional. It’s something deeper, though the words dissipate before either of you can utter it at night.

Lily reaches over the table to hold your hand, with Remus pulling his arm around the back of your chair, and rubbing your shoulder. Your chest is still glowing red, your love for him triumphing over any embarrassment he’s caused you. How you feel has always been clear, evident on your chest. What a weakness to have, to lay yourself bare to him and you wonder if Sirius did it on purpose.

He gets piss drunk as you expected and you have to side-apparate him home while you insist to everyone else that they should stay and have fun. They’re not as easily convinced, but you bid them farewell anyway. You get to the apartment and Sirius mumbles a ‘thank you’ as you help him take his clothes off and you gently tuck him under the covers, kissing him goodnight. Small moments like these are tender. They say more than anything you could put into words.

Moments later, you pretend to not hear Sirius cry, but his chest is heaving and the sound coming from his throat is so gut-wrenching that you lift yourself out from under him where he was weeping into your shoulder. In the dark, your eyes adjust to find his face in the moonlight.

“Sirius?” you breathe, fingers ghosting over the tears on his face.

“He’s dead.” he whimpers. You’ve never seen Sirius Black let himself be vulnerable like this. Not to the Marauders, and especially not to you. There’s no carnal aspect in sorrow, though it leaves one gutted, worn down to the bone.

“My baby brother is dead, and no one knows. I don’t even have a body to mourn over.”

He chokes back a sob, and you let his arms shroud your body, leaving the red glow of your pendant trapped between both of your ribs. You hope some of the light and some of your love seeps into him. You have plenty to give, and it’s all his for the taking, if only he’d let you.

Sirius falls asleep hours later, and you’re pinned to the bed underneath him. There’s a crick in your trapezius that you try to ignore as you stroke his hair. Maybe in his dreamless state he can find peace. You close your eyes and wonder if Regulus has found solace in death. Maybe it would feel something like this.

—

You’re 21 and most of your good friends are dead or in hiding. It’s the night before Halloween, but there’s not a lot to celebrate if real life is much scarier now.

Over the years, Sirius and you have come to an understanding. He’s flawed, with a viciously large ego and oftentimes he’s mean when he doesn’t know how to react. But he’s human. He tries now, more than ever to quell the anger born in the Black name. He tries to be gentle, though the instinct to hurt is in his blood. You’re patient, and resilient enough to take the blows, knowing what you feel is deeper than his anger, often revealing itself as his darkest fears. You like him ‘because’ and love him ‘despite’. Your cue to comfort him is usually right before he gets the look on his face that tells you he’ll say something knowing it’ll make you cry. You’ve always loved him, but now you know why. Sirius wonders every day how you’re still with him. He’s a runner, but since the day you’ve met him, you haven’t quite let go of his hand.

Usually instead of an apology, he’ll usually fuck you to oblivion, making sure your legs shake and your brain is jumbled enough to not talk about the hurt he causes you. He strokes the fire in you, and the feeling of anger that continually wracks his being can only be satiated by your touch. His skin on yours is the best place to be, but maybe there’s a part of you that likes the hurt, his anger. It's almost passionate, the only emotion he knows how to express well. You love him in a way that only you can, despite all of that. But it all blurs when he kisses you, consumes you. You especially like it when he pulls your hair.

You shriek as you come down from a release, hands rubbing the expanse of his chest. His thrusts slow as he grapples with reality, pawing at your breasts. Your hips milk him for his worth, and he groans lowly.

“You’re too good to me, wife. You’re all mine.”

Your ministrations come to a stop as you look down at him, pendant hanging between your faces. Nicknames were a growing commodity lately.

“Wife, huh…”

The air is heavy between you two, still connected as one while you wait for his response. Let him take the lead, as it’s the role he’s more accustomed to.

“If that’s okay.” he breathes, not knowing what to do with his hands. Love has fallen into his hands, and her physical form is sitting in his lap. His grip eases as he accepts you wholly.

“Maybe someday soon.”

A slow smile stretches across your face.

“Ask me properly and I’ll consider.” But the glow of your necklace is more vibrant now, and you two both know your answer as he grabs your waist and pulls you down for another round.

Sirius tries to sneak out of bed in the early morning as you doze off. You wake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, bare feet padding across your shared apartment in search of him until you see him dressed in the kitchen and holding a letter.

“I have to go… deal with some business,” he mutters, not stepping away from the window nor sparing you a glance. Lying to someone he loves is harder than he thought it would be.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” You’re standing in the doorway wearing his shirt and his boxers. He likes it when you say his name. You could call him anything you want and he’d come running.

“James and Lily, they’re in trouble. I’ll be back by morning.”

You turn to grab your wand, planning to go with him, but he’s suddenly grabbing your arm and pulling you into a kiss, stopping your advances. He has something to lose now. You’re his, and he’ll be damned to let you follow him blindly into danger.

“You have to stay here. Everything will be okay,” he says, holding your chin. The lie sits heavy on his tongue. Maybe if he focuses he’ll see the rose-tinted hue of your irises every time he shuts his eyes.

“You’re scaring me...” You look at him in apprehension, his movements erratic and you wonder if he’s cracked and needs an exorcism. Then your heart is thundering in your chest and the red glow turns ice blue. A new feeling has taken a larger form than your love, and its fear. Briefly, you wonder how Sirius lives on edge like this. Something is dangerously wrong. He looks into your eyes, and then the cold glow on your chest. He takes a slow step back away from you, looking almost apologetic.

“Sirius Black, don’t you fucking dare.”

“I love you.”

He’s apparated and long gone before you register what he said. It sounded unfamiliar coming from his mouth, but you weren’t surprised. It was something you’ve always known. You just didn’t think that hearing it would hurt this badly.

—

The doors of the dreary prison cell screech shut in Azkaban. Visiting hours are over, and Sirius hadn’t left his space the whole two hours you waited outside in hopes of seeing him.

Tossing the lunch you packed into the bin as you push through the exit door for the last time, you think that killing him would’ve been easier than this, but he is not the victim in this story. You at least hope he got your package, as you think that maybe you could find a different adventure now, one that doesn’t involve having your feelings splayed across your chest for a murderer to come in and kill you dead. What a fool, to know someone so intimately, so innately, and for him to be a killer.

The envelope is slid under his cell door, and he opens it slowly. The necklace. Sirius sighs, and he wonders if you’ll finally let him go. It’s what you deserve anyway, now that he’ll rot in here for the rest of his life for a crime he didn’t commit. He’s hurt you enough that even if he did tell you everything, there’s a chance you wouldn’t believe him. No one does, after all. The cool silver of the chain makes goosebumps rise on the back of his neck as he slips it on. Red.

With all the time in the world to think, he realizes that he can easily be defined by the sound of your voice calling his name. He’s called many things now besides a liar; a murderer, a deranged madman, a traitor. The only definition of himself he prefers now is one where he is described to be loving you. There are a lot of things to love about you, after all. He spends days, weeks, months, years, keeping track. He finds new ones every time he closes his eyes.

But Sirius Black is first and foremost a liar, and if there’s anything he’s sure of, is that he’s damn good at it.

—

“You say you love rain

but you open your umbrella.

You say you love the sun

but you find a shadow spot.

You say you love wind

but you close your windows.

This is why I am afraid

when you say you love me.”

William Shakespeare

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: complex by katie gregson-macleod

taglist: @jsjcue

#sirius black x reader #marauders x reader #sirius black x reader angst #sirius black x reader smut #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #marauders era #made by ma1dita ♥︎#Spotify

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turvi · 5 months ago

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Promises-2

For the first time in months, Y/n was somehow able to get a fully rested sleep. Severus had a spare room for her that he used to store ingredients and utensils for his potions. The room had a small library filled stacked with books from up to bottom and one small bed that was lit by moonlight.

Despite all the things Severus had stuffed in this room it still had enough space to move around. Severus quickly dusted the bed despite it looking quite clean. It looked like Severus used this room for his restless nights in the company of his favourite books with the moon overlooking him.

"This room can feel stuffy so feel free to open the window" he suggested now standing there fiddling his fingers. Before Y/n could say another word he interrupted

"If you need anything feel free to ask me I am up anyways"

Y/n nodded and Severus was out of the room in no time letting Y/n settle down in the new environment. Y/n reminisced about the last time she met Severus and how has not changed a bit, if anything his eyes looks softer than before, kinder, sadder.

She got up from the comforts of his bed, his smell so present it felt like he was there but the cold sheets said otherwise. She thought of making breakfast, it was the least she could do. She had to make herself busy it was the only way to keep her mind from spiraling into dark thoughts.

As she carefully walked down the stairs she saw Severus up and working on a potion on his makeshift table in his room. Guilt filled her heart. She felt like she was taking advantage of Severus while he was just happy with the organically grown ingredients he was using.

She went to the kitchen and saw dishes piled up in the sink. She went ahead and tried to wash them as quietly as she could. Soon she knew shy everyone called Severus a dungeon bat as he sneaked up on her and almost scared her to death.

"I'm sorry Severus I disturbed you" she gasped trying to calm her heartbeat.

"No, you didn't but why are you washing the dishes Y/n"

"You helped me Severus it is only right I help you too"

He sighed and pinched his nose bridge. He thought why can't everyone be just like him. What is the point of being so nice?

"Go sit down I'll make breakfast for you"

"You will not eat?"

"I am already late for school Merlin knows Potter and his little army will make my day hard" he complains to you. He would be lying if he said he didn't like that someone was listening to his complaints. On most days he wished the walls had ears.

"Potter that name sounds familiar"

"Yes he is the son of James and Lily Potter, great people" he snarled

"Really? Oh how lovely" you said thinking he actually meant that

Severus stared into the void questioning his existence. He really asked Merlin today how come he gets to meet such people but then again he never saw you at Hogwarts, he didn't know who you were you were just there.

"Would you mind if I ask you a question?" He asked plating her breakfast. He placed the plate in front of her and sat across from her. It felt weird having company. This felt very intimate yet Severus tried to focus on the question.

"You can" you replied with a sweet smile. Severus never saw you smile. He is glad he did now.

"I never saw you at Hogwarts yet you are somehow connected to its happenings how?"

You took a deep breath. You know you had to tell him. There is no point in hiding it. The man gave you shelter when you needed it the most no question asked. You looked up to see he was waiting patiently.

"I perform ....black magic, my mother taught me, she used it to cure people and it is one of the things that remind me of her. One day a man came by my place. He was pale and very sickly. He told how no healer had been able to heal him. So he was under my shelter until he was back on his feet." You looked back to find Severus still listening to you his finger fidgeting. "He told me his name was Tom Riddle. He was impressed by my skills and told me a powerful witch like me had been using her powers incorrectly," she said wiping away the stray tear that fell down her cheek.

"One stormy night he came back, he killed my mother. He told me I had to be on his side and make him victorious. He tortured me every night since that night and made me use black magic for the wrong purposes." Severus panicked when she started sobbing, he hesitantly held her hand which felt warm against his cold palms.

"I am sorry I didn't mean to hurt you, I just needed to understand your situation"

"It's alright Severus you don't need to apologize I can understand it is just too much and I am scared for the first time in months I felt fully rested last night, usually woken up by a nightmare or just couldn't fall asleep because news got out that the Dark Lord is returning." her voice broke.

Severus looked at the time and now the professors will start asking him questions, but he couldn't leave you like this.

"Would you like to come to Hogwarts? You can sit in the library, we have some creatures I can ask Hagrid to let you meet them, you can sit in my office albeit it can get boring." Severus never thought he would ever get to brag about Hogwarts but he knew you were hurting and thought about things that helped him distract from his harsh reality.

"You wouldn't mind that?" your voice was low and Severus was thankful it was usually quiet in his house.

"Not at all, you can get some sunlight, and meet others, especially Minerva," he added awkwardly he just hoped you were comfortable

"Thank you for being nice to me Severus"

"No Y/n I have to thank you, well now I know how you were able to heal my wounds so quickly, but you wiped my tears and reminded me that I have some good left in me, that I am not the monster everyone thought I was." his breath hitched when you got closer to him not breaking eye contact. Your eyes looked so beautiful under the sunlight Severus thought.

When you touched his arm he flinched but quickly calmed "You are a great man Severus I know it because you regret the mistakes you made and you are willing to correct them"

He nodded and looked away from your eyes "I... uh we need to leave now"

"Sure I will get ready quickly" with that you took the last bite of your breakfast and beelined towards your room. Severus watched you retreat, he wishes he doesn't get attached to you, that won't go well

A/N: REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK IF YOU ENJOYED THIS. TAKE CARE.

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lamare-sims · 4 months ago

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Hello Lamare! So, I just read your post about your newest attempt at making a mod to add more ✨variety✨ when it comes to elder's lives (or lack thereof), which I found interesting. I'm always in the lookout for mods that explore the health and death aspects of the game in a deeper manner, and I think this might be what I've been needing all this time. My question is, and I'm conscious this mod is still in an early stage, are there any plans of making something similar for other life stages?

Hi! From my own playing experience, I usually dislike when younger sims die. Even if it seems like an interesting idea at first, like when I do random scenarios or historical challenge. Every time a dice roll tells me to kill a sim, I can't go through with it! Not that I'm so compassionate (maybe I am). I guess, it's more interesting to me when they live? I invested time in picking their clothes and what not, I wanna see them around. Besides, randomness never kills boring sims, it somehow always goes for the sims I have plans for :D

Sims' health issues, on the other hand, I can live with. It has to be something not sad, though. Like, I thought of giving elders a condition when they "forget" what they were doing, but then I'd feel sorry for the poor things or be annoyed with them, which is even sadder!

When it comes to younger sims, I am more willing to simulate injury/illness than death.

#sims 2 #aging #sickness #ideas

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stardustsides · 1 year ago

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i haven’t posted any writing in a while, so here’s a snippet from one of my wips, in which medium!virgil meets ghost!patton for the first time :))

He had been three years old, and had somehow managed to wriggle out of his mother’s line of sight and wander the graveyard out back, his beloved stuffed black cat clutched in his chubby fist. As he toddled over the uneven earth and roots, tripping occasionally, he noticed a man perched on the old wooden bench under the weeping willow.

The first thing that struck Virgil at the time was how sad the man seemed. Sadder than anyone he’d ever seen, he thought, even though he didn’t seem to be crying. This perplexed Virgil, because it was his understanding that sad people were supposed to cry. He watched for a moment as the man stared out at the copse of trees among the graves, letting out a sigh so full of despair that Virgil could feel his heart get heavier.

The second thing that he noticed was the man’s appearance. He was young, maybe thirty, with round cheeks and large eyes that drifted over the graveyard, lost in thought. He wore a well-loved gray cable knit sweater, fraying at the edges, and a round pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. But what caught his attention was his alarming lack of color. It looked like someone had cut him out of an old photograph and pasted him on the bench. His skin was a worrying shade of grey that matched the clouds in the November sky.

The grey man’s gaze fell on Virgil, and he smiled a bit, if only to himself. Virgil was much bolder as a toddler than he was as a teenager, and he certainly didn’t want the man to be sad, and so he lifted up his small hand and waved.

“H’lo, Mid-ster!” He called over to the grey man, who startled so violently he nearly fell off the bench. He stared at Virgil, open-mouthed, and whipped his head around this way and that, making sure that there was nobody else around.

Perplexed by this reaction, Virgil decided to try a different tactic. He raised the small stuffed cat up high in the air. “D’is my kitty, Mittens!” He said, raising his little voice higher. “My mommy gave her to me.”

The grey man only seemed to grow more shocked. “Are—are you talking to me?” He asked haltingly. His voice was raspy, as though he had an awful cough. Virgil frowned.

“Ya!” He replied. “I’m Vir-gil.” This was how his mother had taught him to politely introduce himself to adults.

“You can—y-you can see me?” He asked, voice hitching up, clearly on the verge of tears. Virgil shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t like it when people cried.

“Ya,” he responded. Then: “Don’ cry. I’m sorry.”

The grey man got up and slowly, almost dreamlike, walked toward Virgil and knelt down to eye level. Up close, Virgil could see that his skin was see-through; the bench was still visible through his torso. His dark eyes were shiny with tears threatening to spill onto his freckled cheeks. “…a medium,” he whispered to himself. Virgil felt confused at the word, but was more concerned about the sad man. “…Virgil, you said your name was?”

“Yuh,” he said, holding Salem tighter. He vaguely remembered that his mother told him not to talk to strangers, but there was something comforting about the man, odd and otherworldly as he was.

“I’m Patton,” the man said, staring at Virgil in amazement. Then, all of a sudden, it was as though a switch had flicked on his head, his melancholic demeanor replaced by a more concrete concern. “How old are you? What are you doing out here alone?”

“T’wee,” Virgil responded with pride. “I live here.”

“Where are your parents?”

“My mommy’s inside makin’ lunch. I don’ have a daddy.”

Even as a toddler, Virgil could sense the shift that took place in Patton at those last words. The depressed glaze over his eyes was gone in a blink, and suddenly the ghost before him—though Virgil didn’t yet know he was one—seemed all the more alive.

“Oh,” he breathed, brown eyes suddenly sparkling. Virgil blinked. The man’s colors were still muted, but there were colors, now. His sweater was a faint baby blue, and his cheeks were rosy from the cold. “Okay, sweetheart. Well, you should get back to your mommy. I’ll take you to her, okay?”

“‘Kay,” Virgil responded, going to grab for his hand. His own passed right through it, like water. Virgil looked up, confused. “Are you real? Or ‘maginary?”

“I’m real,” Patton said, and Virgil believed him. “But I think only you can see me.”

“Oh,” Virgil said. And then: “Why?”

Patton paused, contemplating. “Because you’re a very special little boy, I think.”

Beaming with pride, Virgil toddled back to the old house with his stuffed cat and a ghost.

#idk why i decided to post this lol #i just wanted to post Something and this is my wip for spooky season #sanders sides #ts sides #my writing #patton sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #medium virgil au #medium!virgil #ghost!patton #familial moxiety

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humming-pokemon-helpers · 11 months ago

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“So, Vanilla, what have you been up to? You’ve been awfully quiet lately.”

Excellent question, person I made up in my head. I’ve been watching each and every one of the Pawmark Dash to Delibird Day movies released in The Year Of The Twin Dragons 2023. There are 42 of them, which deeply unsettles me.

But unfortunately I dedicated myself to the art of cataloguing Pawmark movies when I was a much sadder and lonelier Zorperson, and I’m too stubborn to quit now. (That, and they’re a guilty pleasure; sue me.)

So, below the cut is my ratings of some of them. About 10. Not all 42, I still have some semblance of a life. I did watch all of them though, so I guess if there's any Pawmark enthusiasts who really need to know my thoughts, you can send me an ask? Or you can ask me in-person. At my New Year's party. Which is still happening tomorrow. (Psst. Here's a link if you're interested: https://discord.gg/PkmkQEVF)

1. Celebi With You: Young career businesswoman comes back to her old hometown devoted to Delibird Day and nothing else. Grandpa asks her to take over the shop. She refuses because she has a career. Local childhood-friend-man in flannel gets sad. A Celebi takes her back in time to watch her grandparents’ romance as they open the shop. She changes her mind, gets with the male lead in a very rushed side plot, everyone’s happy.

This one’s a shaky 5/10. Points for not focusing the modern romance first and foremost, but it’s so sloppily done. There's no lead-up to the kiss. And I mean, it's Pawmark. There usually isn't. But give us some level of flirtation! Grandma and gramps are cute, though. Shame grandma’s dead for no reason other than “there must be at least one dead relative in a Pawmark movie”. Also, the CGI Celebi looks TERRIBLE. Like, eye-bleedingly so. That is an onion and a few pipe cleaner legs. I know they can’t get a real Celebi, but at least get a Ditto instead!

2. A Little Holiday Maschiff: The obligatory “turn your brain off and watch cute puppies” movie. Female lead recently lost her Stoutland. Somebody leaves a box of Maschiff puppies on her step in the winter cold. She takes them to the “hunk” at the Pokémon shelter, because she’s not ready to open her heart again, but the shelter’s on the brink of being shut down. They co-pup-parent and create a Delibird Day Pokémon Pageant to fundraise and save the shelter. Get in a fight because the male lead thinks she’s actually trying to get the shelter sold. They make up. They kiss. They adopt like 3 Maschiff puppies. The end.

8/10, but not because of the plot. The “fight” they have is absolutely idiotic. No, the reason I say 8/10 is because I can understand everything those little Maschiff have to say and their commentary is worth their weight in gold. Even if 90% of it is “Am I a good boy? Can I go for a walk after this? Why am I in a box again?”. So good. 4/10 for anybody who doesn’t understand Pokémon. At least the puppies are still cute to look at.

3. Snow Warning: Short summary here because it’s so generic. F!Lead gets caught in once-in-a-lifetime blizzard on her way home. Flight cancelled. Has to share a hotel room with smarmy male lead who looks down on her job as a novelist (and is also a wildly successful businessman). The two roadtrip their way down to F!Lead’s hometown so she can go see her sick dad. Grow a begrudging respect. Eventually they kiss for some reason. Also there’s a side-plot about how the guy actually pissed off an Abomasnow and caused the whole thing, but that wasn’t really interesting. ...Somehow. How do you mess that up?

2/10. The chemistry’s off. I get going for “you hate me so bad you want to kiss me” tension, but it really just comes off like the female lead ought to sock her "date" in the face already. Instead we get a weak “Sorry I called your books stupid. I read one page of your debut novel and it’s not. Can we kiss now?”. Yawn. Also, he never apologizes for the whole Abomasnow thing, which seems like a pretty massive oversight? If we're being realistic here, that's getting held over that man's head for at least a good five years.

4. Sawsbuck’s Greetings: A movie focused around the female lead, who runs a Sawsbuck farm that’s been passed down for generations, and the male lead, who kicks puppies for a living and wants to put a golf course there. But don’t worry, he learns after she makes a deal with him that if he stays on the farm for 30 days and doesn’t see the value of it, he can buy it. Because that’s how buying real estate works. The guy actually has some traumatic history with Pokémon that the saintly female lead helps him overcome. He cuts ties with his company, moves into the Sawsbuck farm, and they have the Pawmark Kiss.

3.5/10 for me. Not even the bored Sawsbuck save this (they are so, so bored). There’s no interesting side characters anywhere! No life! Also, I will say it once again: love does not heal trauma. They try to make it seem like this man goes from erring 50 feet away from “those horrid beasts” to snuggling up with a Deerling in the early AM all thanks to a woman's love. That is not how that works. Get therapy. (I say this knowing full well I would not be as critical if it were gay. Know your biases, folks.)

5. The Chingling Ring: This is one of their “Deli-Day Wedding” movies. A sequel to last year’s “The Chingling Sing”. Female lead gets cold feet about marrying male lead. They nearly break up to all of their friends�� constant dismay. But the woman's Chimecho works with her fiance to gather 25 Chingling to show her 25 places all key to her relationship with her soon-to-be husband. Of course he’s waiting at the 25th, they kiss, make up, happy wedding, baby at the end of it.

Surprisingly, a 6.5/10. The concept is a decent one, if only they didn’t have to stick to 25 arcdamn places instead of… five? Even 12, if you’re looking for something holiday-like but smaller. Each place gets no focus at all, because of course they don’t. It’s an 80-minute movie! The gesture is really romantic though. Chingling are so so adorable. And the male lead is genuinely sympathetic throughout. Just… agh, the rush. Also, do we always need a baby at the end of the wedding ones?

6. Special Delivery: Sort of a mystery movie, on the first female lead's side. (Yes, 1/2!) She, a detective, starts receiving mysterious gifts via Delibird from a ‘secret admirer’. Determined to figure out more, she goes on a hunt through the specifics of the gifts, the places they’re ordered from, and even tracks a Delibird itself. Along the way, she keeps confiding in her best friend, the second lead, about the situation. First lead thinks it's from her coworker, but no, it's a red herring. Lo and behold, it turns out the gifts are secretly coming from... the second lead! There’s a decent coming out/confession scene, which is a compliment for a film studio where movies are produced in 5 weeks. Pawmark Kiss. End film. (Too soon.)

I promise this is not just my lesbian bias (it is), but 7/10. The two leads truly understand the power of pining. Of yearning! …The gift situation is so blatantly obvious that it very much feels like the movie spins its wheels for a while, though. I feel like they were trying to have a twist, because the male lead's pretty heavily marketed, but he also falls flat as a character other than "hey, he's there, and he probably likes you". As a result, though, I thought I was going insane for thinking the leads had chemistry for the first 50 minutes until this film fully vindicated me, something that is incredibly rare with a Pawmark movie. They’d better make a sequel. That’s up-front about its being gay, and at least halfway decent.

7. Deck The Royal Halls: What would Pawmark be without its annual foreign prince movie. This time from the made-up kingdom of “Britain”. Where are they even pulling these names from now? Bog-standard, except the two leads also have to work together to handle the King getting possessed by the legendary Calyrex along the way. Because apparently the “old family heirloom” Hometown Female Lead brings as a gift to His Highness is actually its crown. Anyways, Calyrex demands the two of them get married in the name of the kingdom. They waver on this in some royal courtship, get into a fight, and eventually agree. Happily ever after.

4.5/10: This movie is so cluttered. There’s no good justification for why the female lead is there, why her family has this ancient treasure, and why it is so absolutely crucial she marry The Prince. Calyrex’s VA is very funny during the possession scenes though. So the movie gets an extra point. Calyrex trying to give Mr. Prince Guy a confession pep talk is genuinely one of the better written comedy bits I’ve seen on the channel in a while. Shame the CGI for Calyrex is... not very good. There's no way its head is that big.

8. A Champion Chrismas: So this is what they've had Champion Leon up to since he lost his title. The Battle Tower and paying him to take part in mass-produced rom-coms. Anyways, unfortunately for the female lead, who is absolutely trying her best, this movie is entirely about Leon--or Levi, and how the self-insert (AKA, female lead) saves him from his battling slump when he comes home for the holiday season to his totally-not-Postwick small town with his totally-not-Hop little brother. (who is, actually, played by Hop Laventon. How did they get all of these people???) Anyways, the female lead shows Le-whoever the "joy of Delibird Day" again, they kiss, Le-guy wins a big championship match with his Charizard for her and shouts her out on live TV.

6/10, purely because it's fun to see how non-acting celebrities deal with acting. Also, this is 100% somebody's Leon x Reader fanfiction that got brought to Pawmark's writing room and approved without a second thought. I love that for whoever that was. (Though pretending that definitely isn't Leon and he totally isn't dating Raihan is a bit ingenuous.) Anyways, the writing sucks. The poor heroine is the epitome of a self-insert, for very obvious reasons. But I will admit, I can see why Leon has so many fangirls. He's great at playing that sort of "charming, down to earth" guy. His little brother's pretty good at acting too! Even if he really got shoved to the side for the sake of the love plot. Always seems to be the case for that poor kid...

9. Operation: Present: A movie about... Santa from the future? I think somebody saw Iron Bundle and ran away with it a bit too much. (Also, they have a real Iron Bundle there. This scares me.) Anyways, in this movie, Santa's son appears in front of a social media "influencer" with an Iron Bundle and tells her that if she doesn't convince the world Santa is real, they'll fall into a dark timeline...? I'm so lost as to who wrote this. Is this still Pawmark? I guess it's tangentially Delibird Day-related. Anyways, these two go on a... social media campaign... to spark belief in Santa. Livestreams, Chatters, anything a 60-year-old exec believes is part of social media usage, it's there. But actually, Ms. Influencer doesn't even believe in Santa herself, so they get in this big fight, until Santa's Son gets this notification that Christmas is saved or whatever. They make up. They kiss. I am so lost.

2/10, I am relatively sure this movie was made by drawing ideas out of a hat? And shoving them together? So it's a time-travel, social-media, robot-Delibird, Santa's son, romance movie? Why did they not pick an angle. Any one of those could have worked as an angle. As it is, I feel like I'm going insane even trying to describe the plot. ...And yet I feel as though I know several people this could happen to. Such is the reality of our multiverse.

10. Don't Have A Bird: Okay, they clearly used all of their ideas on the last movie. Because this one is about a woman who works at an Unfezant tip line. As in, a tip line on how to cook Unfezant at the holidays. (Which feels more like a Thanksgiving movie, but I digress!) And a man. Who is trying to cook an Unfezant. That's... the entire plot. The whole thing. Though the woman is also secretly romancing the man in real life! ...And on... the Unfezant tip line. That feels like a blatant violation of phone line policy, but what do I know! The Unfezant Guy feels betrayed by this until The Unfezant Girl brings by a perfect Unfezant, and the day is saved. Hooray.

1.5/10. Who wrote this. Who approved this. Why is it about an arcdamn Unfezant Tip Line. How far down do you have to dig for this idea. Who in the writing room called in to figure out how to unfuck their completely dry, flavorless Unfezant, and thought "You know what would be romantic?" On the bright side, absolutely none of the actors take this movie seriously, thus warranting an extra .5 points. They earned it. Nothing else did. (//Mod note. Based on a real fucking Hallmark movie.)

#i'm sorry to anybody reading past the cut this gets so rambly.#but i hope i can spread the experience of pawmark to at least somebody else.#pkmn irl #pokeblogging #//brought to you by Too Many Hallmark Movies.#//yes the 42 movie thing is real.

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dreamsinmoonlight · 9 months ago

Text

Light Carries On

(Welp first new work on the new blog and it's a reader fic for a different fandom than usual; sorry my poto beloveds, I will get on that later.

Anyhoooo yeah, so the title, it's from the song Saturn, which I listened to on repeat while writing this. It just felt like it fitted this.

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: supposed to be Tenth Doctor x Reader, but it came out stupidly fluffy and not really romantic or sexy so sorry but yeah. Enjoy X3)

The Doctor couldn't entirely decide if he loved snow. There was, after all, something distinctly beautiful in it, a serene sort of silence that managed to fill the world and make one feel like you were the only person in it and that all things, all life, existed for you, in you, and that was good. But in that silence too was the loneliness and the memory and he could no longer remember if he had loved snow before, faced as he was now with the thoughts and memories that weighed so heavy. He was alone, he was all, he was the only one. It hit so much harder after what had happened, after the War, and regret started to seep in along with the cold, staring up at the dark sky as it continued to snow around him.

“Doctor?” Your voice echoed through everything and pierced silence like a sword through a chest; twisting he turned back towards the Tardis, to look upon you.

You were staring at him, confused, concerned, but of course; it was hard not to be worried when you found him just standing there in the snow, quietly staring at the sky with that strange look you had come to be used to seeing even if just out the corner of your eye. It was like seeing to the core, under the goofy grins and the quick talking and energy and bounciness; under his smiles was something darker and sadder and painful. You pulled the jacket you had gone to put on tighter around you, it was freezing out of course and the Doctor wasn't keen on his companions getting frostbite, and blinked, missing the second in which that look was hidden away under the smile you knew far better. And worried as you felt it was hard not to smile in response seeing how his eyes sparkled at you, how his entire body language changed. You couldn't be sure it wasn't a trick, perhaps a lie on his part, to not worry you, to not let what was really going on inside be seen at least by you; sometimes he was too protective, too careful. Deep down you wished he trusted you enough to let those feelings out, you wanted to be there for him, to comfort him; you wanted him to lean on you. But you supposed you would take his smile for now.

“That one looks good on you,” he said and his hands went into his pockets as you stepped down out of the Tardis, snow crunching under your feet as you approached him; his eyes traced the slowness of the flakes as they fluttered through the air and landed in your hair. There too was something beautiful in that.

You looked down at yourself, at the ridiculous odd coat you had grabbed from the wardrobe, a mismatched mess of color and fabric that somehow seemed to retain some sort of strange warmth that reminded you so much of the Doctor you couldn't bring yourself to hate it. A small snort escaped you nevertheless. “It's the first thick thing I could find in there; it's a mess in your wardrobe, you really should clean it up.”

“I've tried but it always ends up the same,” he said with a chuckle.

“So,” you started and glanced around you, at a world of white and darkness, of nothing; there was the Tardis and there was the Doctor and there was you and nothing else. You weren't sure either if you felt lonely here or at peace; it felt like a strange mixture of both. Surely it was not Earth, there would be more, or at least something, but it had the general sense that Earth did when it snowed, of the world beyond something describable, alien and familiar all at the same time. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, allowing yourself to feel the sensation and remember how it felt when it snowed back home, when you'd first seen it snow, what it felt to be in the middle of all that. Majesty and awe, that felt like the closest feelings.

And then, very quickly, cold. Very, very cold. Because while you allowed yourself to indulge in your senses, the Doctor decided to indulge in his childish side, scooping up snow from at his feet, packing it carefully and neatly in a rough approximation of a sphere, and then with only a fraction of his Time Lord strength, chucking it at your head like a schoolyard kid. He even had the mischievous glint in his eyes, something you became aware of after the impact of cold frozen water caused you to open your eyes again to stare widely at him.

For a moment you struggled to find words or response but he grinned and eventually you scrambled to return fire, yelling, “Foul! You can't just attack a person when they're unaware!”

“All's fair in love and war,” he laughed dodging your snowball with the grace of a hyperactive puppy, balling up another attack to launch upon you but he paused in it, looking contemplative while still giving that silly grin of his, “Which you know isn't really fair to say because nothing is fair in either which I suppose makes sense then because if nothing is fair in either but are both equally so then indeed all's fair in-”

Smack! Your next hit got him square between the eyes. You laughed as you watched it make contact and tumbled down to the ground, his face peppered with left over snow and he now blinked a few times, stunned and frozen in mid ramble. You took the opportunity to scurry behind the Tardis, figuring it was the safest option and started to built a snow wall around you.

A few minutes later you heard him yell and knew he had properly restarted which only made you giggle more. Still your snow fort was almost down and with the Tardis as defense you were sure you'd be safe. There was shuffling and movement; you weren't entirely sure what he was up to but he definitely was doing something. After more time passed and you realized he had not come to find you, you decided to come out to check, just to make sure he wasn't sulking or something.

What you found instead was...well, unexpected. And to you hilarious. You were sure it wasn't that long since you had gone and hidden but in the short time he was left alone he seemed to have built a near identical snow copy of the Tardis, causing you to glance from the real one to it's snow sibling. You might have been able to hold in your laughter too if it wasn't for the proud look on his face as he walked into it only to walk out with a disappointed look on his face. You giggled and chuckled and laughed as he did so, unable to resist; he was doing it surely for your benefit, you could see the slight smirk on his face, the glint still in his eye, and he scooped up more snow as you were distracted. It was a little bit luck and a little bit your own quick thinking and reflexes that got you back to your own fort before he could launch his attack and laughter rang through the emptiness of the strange snowy nothing planet, ringing far and wide. If there was life here, if there were people and animals and beings that existed, then some part of you deep down was certain that they would hear, and they might even come to investigate. But in the moment, as the snow fell and you and the Doctor indulged in some playful shenanigans, you found you did not care.

You were not sure how long you were playing out in the snow; you just knew that by the time you stopped you were soaked, tired, and shivering from the cold and the weight of your now wet clothes. The Tardis was humming disapprovingly, having been hit more than a few times itself and coated with snow that had fallen on it in the meanwhile; your fort was destroyed, as was the snow Tardis, and the Doctor looked none the better than you though perhaps less out of breath. But both of you wore grins and as he made his way over to you, you took note of how his hair, wet as it was now, stuck to his head, and how ice cold his fingers were as they reached out to brush snow from your own wet hair. You would need to tell him to wear gloves next time you were out to a wintery planet; surely even he could get frostbite and why should he be the only one to worry?

“Let's get inside where it's warm,” he told you, “You look like a drowned kitten.”

“Rude,” you answered with a gasp and he chuckled, turning to go into the Tardis.

You narrowed your eyes and scooped up some snow, deciding to drop it down the back of his shirt. It would seem that even a Time Lord could feel the cold for the shriek that came from him was extremely unmanly and extremely founded considering. You laughed and he turned on you again.

“Not funny!”

“Is so.”

“Is not!”

“Is so.”

“Is not!”

“Oh what are you, two?”

“No, I'm Ten.” That made you laugh harder and he grabbed you, lifting you up. Irritated as you usually were when he did such a thing, you struggled and whined as he carried you inside, into the warmth and dryness of the Tardis. The doors closed behind you both and he set you on the usual seat, you glaring and huffing at him. Yet all you got in return was that grin and after he shimmied a bit to get the snow out, he spoke again, “I'll go get us dry clothes; you should at least take off the coat.”

“Will do, troublemaker.” There was still some hesitation though in you in doing so; the coat was ridiculous looking but it felt so...comforting you suppose. It reminded you of him and as he walked off to the wardrobe, you delayed in removing it for longer than you knew you should.

So long indeed that by the time he returned your shivering had increased and you sneezed as he walked over, causing his expression to change to something more concerned. You waved it off, nothing some dry clothes and being inside wouldn't fix; you took off your wet clothes, smiling as he gave you the benefit of looking away, with his frozen skin suddenly flushed red in a manner that made you want to tease him at least a little. But no, that could wait; you put on the dry clothes, he had already changed it seemed before returning, and put aside the wet clothes. You delighted in the warmth but found you missed the warmth of the coat more than a little.

Easy enough fix; you walked over to the Doctor and wrapped your arms around him, burying your cold face in his neck. He let out another not entirely manly noise but didn't push you away; after a second or so his arms found their way around you and you were encompassed by a familiar comfort. There was always something wonderful about being close to the Doctor; he could be childish and he could be enigmatic and he could be dangerous, and you were not blind to his darker tendencies. But when he smiled and he held you and he was just himself, you couldn't help but feel comfort in him, and even frozen, you couldn't help but feel safe and happy with him. And deep down, even knowing there were things he didn't tell you, you hoped he found some solace in you as well.

He did indeed, in the way you hugged him, as if to both indulge yourself and to comfort him. You didn't even know he needed it, he was sure of that, but still there you were. It was nice and he buried his face in your hair, allowed himself that for just a few seconds. You could be mischievous and difficult yourself but who was he to judge he supposed? There were likely whole civilizations who thought of him as their trickster god.

Again you sneezed and he felt his hearts shake a bit. Maybe the snow wasn't such a good idea; he wasn't great at warming up people, lower temperature and all, but he didn't want you catching a cold. He held you closer and spoke, “Come on, I know just the thing to warm you up.”

“Oh really?” there was an edge of playfulness to your voice that made his face, already flushed from you actually undressing in front of him like you had, to redden more and he looked away from you. Hoping that you weren't able to hear his hearts pounding from the implications there.

“I found something of mine I'm sure you'll like,” he said and he tried smiling as if it was normal, everything was normal. He totally didn't have other thoughts in his mind, nope, “It's like the coat; I wore that once you know, when I had a different face. I adored it, best coat ever, now of course I can't understand why I liked it so much but I wasn't lying when I said it looked good on you.”

“Doctor,” you said, in a tone that reminded him he was rambling.

He nodded. “A scarf, it's a scarf, really long one; I wore it too in yet a different face, back when things were...”

Different? Before the War, before all the destruction and death and regret and pain, and oops, there it was again, that deep loneliness and regret. Yet he let his gaze return to you and you were looking at him and he felt it just sort of...slip away again.

He didn't realize he had been frowning, that his brow had been furrowed, but it eased and he smiled again before bundling you up and leading you off to the wardrobe again, “Have I told you about that one? It was a wonderful lifetime; I traveled with Sarah Jane Smith and Harry Sullivan and Leela, oh you would have liked Leela, she was a peach...”

The Tardis continued to hum as the two of you walked away and outside the ship the snow continued to fall in a quiet world. But the Doctor didn't feel so alone because he wasn't.

After all, he had you.

#doctor who #doctor x reader #tenth doctor x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #special guest: fashion choices #the what are you two joke is my favorite thing in the world #sorry not sorry #this is a test of the emergency fanfiction system #if you see this and like it then like and comment and i'll have more

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trentcrimminallybeautiful · 1 year ago

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for your wip ask game, ink sunset made me weep, and as much as i would love to see what could happen next i think i would just keep crying aha ha :-))) (but would totally be interested in a sequel)

hmmm here's a pre-written bit (of the non epistolary kind):

He felt like he was in a fever dream. Ted, here. Ted. It had been literal years. And Trent felt like a schoolgirl with a crush, about to see him again. But Ted—wasn’t there. He— The door to Trent’s bedroom was open. Trent had left out the goddamn box. Trent’s heart dropped from his throat to his feet with the force of a brick dropped on an egg. He hurried forward and pushed the door open, and— There was Ted. Ted Lasso, in person, for the first time in years. He looked older, and somehow both lighter and sadder. And he was sitting on the edge of Trent’s bed, shoulders hunched, an old box in his lap, and a letter in his hands. He looked up at Trent, and his eyes were red-rimmed. “Oh,” said Trent, feeling small and stupid. He was frozen in the doorway. “Hope you don’t mind,” said Ted, voice brittle under the faux-casual tone—the first words he’s said to Trent since he left. “They were addressed to me.” Trent finds he isn’t angry. Just deflated. He slowly, almost robotically, makes his way to the other side of the bed, and sits down, stiff and avoiding Ted’s eyes.

and here's some continuation from the epistolary section. i actually wrote like over 1800 more words because of this ask so good job! here's some of them:

I do. I do owe you something. I should have written, at least. I was afraid of the long, slow death between us. I’ve lived through that before, clinging to something that was withering away, watching someone who loved me once begin to resent me more and more, begin to forget the reasons they liked me at all. That kind of feeling, like rot on a porch, was one of the most painful experiences in the world. The truth is, I was protecting myself from that. I was scared of losing someone like that again, especially someone I loved so much you. I guess I thought a clean break would be better. That we’d both get over it sooner. But here we are, years later, and I still think about it. I still regret it. And I hurt you in the process. I’m sorry. I hoped you’d gotten over it. I told myself you must have. I’m nothing special. I’m not stars or a mountain or a sunset. But here you are, still writing. I’m sorry. Of course we were friends. Are friends. I’m sorry I made you doubt that. I’m sorry for a lot of things. Maybe that would have happened. Maybe we would have drifted apart, and my mistake was not giving you closure. But now I’ll never know, will I? I can’t say sorry enough. I can n I’m just always breakin things, huh? It ended up being slow and painful anyway.

as of right now the plan is 1. original epistolary chapter, 2. interlude(?), 3. ted's epistolary chapter, 4. conclusion(???) but i'm still having trouble wrapping things up. i might even make it a separate work as a series, not sure yet.

#askbox #wip #my writing

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jaegersmoon · 2 years ago

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Ok just a warning this is gonna be a long one lol. So first of all, I haven’t finished the new chapter yet because I’m on vacation BUT I’ve been reading any time I get a chance and it is SO GOOD SO FAR OMG! Ok secondly, I thought I put in this in a message before but I’m not sure I ever actually sent it so second times a charm! I somehow relate most music I hear to the things I’m obsessed with (in this case OB) and have come to two conclusions:

1. “Work Song” by Hozier is so Jean talking about Y/n, especially the second and third verses. It’s just so perfect ugh

2. “All My Ghosts” by Lizzy McAlpine is very Y/n talking about Jean! Like “I can see it now as all my ghosts disappear” ugh I love them.

I also found a third much sadder thing that some people may disagree with me on, but hear me out:

“Almost (Sweet Music)” by Hozier is Jean talking about Y/n being the “she” in the song and Marco being the “you”!!!

“I’m almost me again, she’s almost you” this song makes me so much sadder now because this is what I think of every time.

Ok thx for sitting through that, sorry it was so long lol <3333

thank you so so much <333 oh my god the song??? the lyrics???? ill have you know all three of these songs have been on repeat bc of you… it’s too good

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danpuff-ao3 · 2 years ago

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Hello Danni my love, Happy New Year! I’d love to know more about how you fell in love with Snarry and if you have any other favorite rare pairs?? 👀 - Liv

Liv!!!! 🌸 Happiest of new years to you as well, darling!

My Snarry story is one of my favorites to tell, so I'm most glad you asked!

I was 11 when I first found Snarry! I discovered Google for the first time and decided to search Harry Potter and somehow ended up in an explicit Drarry fic???? Which was a learning experience, and also cool. And in the fic Snape had the hots for Draco and at some point before the end I was like "okay...Draco/Harry...Draco/Snape...but what about Harry/Snape????" So once I finished reading that fic I went to search Harry/Snape fics and never looked back!

What I never really delve into with people is that, in retrospect, it all makes sense. I have a thing for Main Characters, so of course I adore Harry. But I also loved Snape from the first book! Small Danni all madly in love with Severus Snape. 😂 So there's the fact that they're my two favorite characters in the books, of course I wanna smush their faces together and make them kiss!!

But also, at the time I came into Snarry (the early 2000s), a lot of what was available was on the darker, grittier, angstier side, which really drew me. My parents never restricted any sort of media from me, and in my younger years I was really interested in more extreme sorts of material. When you're raised on gory horror films, not much can faze you, y'know? 😂 So all of the really questionable content really appealed to me in my earlier years. I don't think I consciously thought much beyond that in those days.

Looking back, though, I can maybe see other things at play there. Books were always an escape for me, and none more than Harry Potter. All the magic and color and silliness and love called to my soul. But the sadder, darker, deeper parts of the story called to me, as well, and it was those parts that were more showcased in fic. So it was dually an escape from difficult times, but also a way of dealing with those hard things. Working through my own sorrow and heartbreak and rage and fear and frustration.

And Harry and Snape more than any other, I think, reflect the parts of me that most need seeing and accepting and loving. The parts of me that feel too much, that are too hurt. The parts of me that are intense, obsessive, and passionate. My own sense of curiosity, and the craving to know and experience more. And the idea that two people who have been through so much can find each other and be imperfect together and be just crazy about each other all the same. I don't know, I think my heart really needed that then, before I even knew I needed it.

As for rare pairs!!!! Of those I have plenty!

A big one I need more of (to read AND to write...this has been on my to write list for ages!) is Draco/Remus. In a conversation once I realized that how I see these two characters reminds me of my partner and I. And while I loved the ship before, I loved it 10x more then! Draco, the younger partner; dramatic and vivacious and witty and passionate (and hello daddy issues.) And Remus, the older partner, who is kind and patient and charming, but also with a lot of darkness in his past, a lot of trauma, and a lot of pain and darkness people often overlook. Then the idea of them coming together, and Draco being a breath of fresh air, and a light in Remus' dreary life. Giving him excitement and fun, but also someone who is a challenge. Not a placid, easy lover, but someone demanding and proud and who can make him better. Whereas Remus can offer comfort, safety, and strength. He is understanding, and compassionate, and a safe space. But he is also capable of protecting and defending. And while Remus can humor Draco, he would never let him go too far; and with Remus setting boundaries and providing an example, he helps make Draco better, too. (Sorry, excuse the word vomit of emotion I'm having rn.)

I also really love Fleurmione. Two very strong, driven, capable women. All the better because they don't see eye to eye and get along right away. (I do love a bit of ✨ tension ✨ in my ships.) They sort of underestimate each other in ways. Hermione is the loud, bossy know-it-all. Fleur is the vain, vapid Veela. But Fleur competed in the tournament and joined the Order. Hermione accompanied Harry on his adventures, and fought in the war. They are skilled and intelligent and bold and can be strong partners. Fleur wouldn't agree with Hermione unquestioningly. They're opinionated, they'll have their debates, and help each other grow. Also imagine Minister Hermione and her wife Fleur and Hermione's too caught up in work and Fleur has to force her into self-care, and also charms the pants off of benefactors, political rivals, etcetera etcetera. Oh and she plans all the best parties and galas. And while the papers might think Fleur is the eye candy on the Minister's arm, she is also Hermione's confidant and support. The person who helps Hermione research and write her speeches and has just as much a hand in matters as her wife does.

I also have feelings about Draco/Ron, Draco/Sirius, Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Harry/Scorpius, James Sirius/Scorpius, aaaand many more! I love me some rare pairs! 😍

#asked & answered #snarry #rare pairs

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irritablepoe · 1 year ago

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6. 3 characters that inspire you

15. 3 quotes that have a special place in your life

29. 3 characteristics of the person you aspire to be

(from that 3 things ask game that u reblogged a while back and i just had the time to find it on my drafts again ashskjjldsj)

Hope u have a great day/night!! 💜

Hiiii Mila!!! :D

Omg I totally forgot that I rb this, but thank you that you’re sending an ask even a while after, that’s so sweet of you <33

3 persons that inspire you

I actually don’t know if this is specifically for real life people or also characters (it’s been a while and I don’t remember ahh)? I’m gonna do real people bc I’ve done characters a lot :3

Rachel Oates – she is a youtuber and talks a lot about feminism, pro-choice stuff and also poetry and I think she’s wonderful and I admire her maturity and knowledge when it comes to certain topics; I’d also like to spend my life similar to her: self-employed, maybe in a relationship but with much privacy, no kids etc. (I recommend watching her, her videos are very well thought out and backed up by studies and stuff)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky writing style inspires me, it enables my ability to ramble in my text lmao; V. E. Schwab in turn taught me that it’s okay to write short sentences (schwab and dosti are fighting in my head at all times) (also V.E. Schwab is a really cool person! :D) (I put basically two persons here lmao, I’m sorry)

Ahhh the third person is hard…. Uhm I would say Ethan Nestor? I’m pretty sure many know him, he’s done unus annus with Markiplier and when I watched it and even after it was over, it inspired me to be more… well, not funny per se but more random and be more myself when I’m around people (i naturally laugh a lot and it encouraged me kinda?). Ethan also talks a lot about how he always thinks he’s not good enough and I relate to that a lot – so it’s a good feeling seeing him be a good and kind person and it inspires me to do the same (I’m often not that successful but yk, I’m trying)

3 quotes that have a special place in your heart

Raskolnikov: „But why do they love me so much, if i don’t deserve it? Oh, if i were alone and no one loved me and i had never loved anyone! All this would never have taken place!“ – this stuck with me and I still think about it, especially bc I often have this thought that everything would be easier if no one loved me and I loved no one, but I know Raskolnikov is wrong (he knows it himself) and therefore I know I’m wrong, if that makes sense? To sneak another quote in here, I think this one quote from jackaby also hits home in that regard: “I wondered what was sadder, leaving someone to cry after you were gone, or not having anyone who’d miss you in the first place”

“He needed to tell her… what? That she was lovely and brave? And better than anything he deserved? That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn’t pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to he had begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He had to thank her for his new hat.” – thank you Ms Bardugo I’m gonna cry in a corner now

Technically all of Kafka’s letter to his father. I’ve probably said it before but this whole letter is like… ouch… kafka somehow always manages to describe what I’m feeling (also in his diaries and works) and yeah, this letter has a very special place in my heart. Especially the part about him not being good enough for his father and also his friends not being good enough (“it was enough that I showed a mere interest in a person – it didn’t occur often because of my character – and you’d bash them with insults […]”), and also the hypocrisy (“please, father, don’t misunderstand me, usually it would have been insignificant details, though those rules bear down on me only because you […] didn’t follow them yourself”) (all of this is translated by me, i don't have the english version) and in general how kafka describes himself in it (especially his hypochondria and how he thinks about his academic achievements)

I wish this was more revolutionary and there were more quotes from books that I haven’t talked about already but well, these are the first that I think of yk :3

3 characteristics of the person you aspire to be

Ok there’s kinda two ways one could interpret that question – either that I pick for example a celebrity that I want to be and list the qualities about them that I want to have OR basically describe your ideal self and I think I’m gonna go with the second one bc I don’t wanna pick one specific person ig? So I’m gonna list some qualities that I wish I had, I hope that’s okay :3

I wish I was more extroverted (even like a little bit; connecting with people is hard when I'm constantly running on low battery and signals in my head are going off lmao)

I know I’m not stupid but I wish I was smarter… like my grades are good but not GREAT, I can think critically but I wish I could write good and clear analyses like some people on here; I also wished I could read faster, sadly, I’m more of a slow reader bc I want to understand the text very thoroughly but if I could read faster I could read MORE and have more input in my brain that I can use :]

I wish I was less anxious (brain go brrrr every time I go outside so I wish I was more confident in my abilities ig)

In summary: my ideal self would be more extroverted, smarter, a fast reader and confident

Thank you again for the ask! :3 it’s gotten really long, also omg i didn't stick to the rules at all lmao i sneaked in so much more stuff hehe >:3

Hope you're having a good day/night too! :D

#long post #putting that in #johnny's silly rambles #as well bc that's a LOT of personal stuff

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weirdmorefics · 2 years ago

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Hi I just finished watching Bridgerton and I am in love with Benedict

so can you make one where the reader is the youngest Bridgerton brother and he accidentally ruins Benedict's painting and he gets mad at him and the reader tries to apologize by drawing a picture for Benedict so a little bit angst and a lot of fluff

(I'm not good at English so sorry if there's bad grammar or spelling mistakes )🐼💕

A/N- Thank you for the request! I hope you like it and I think your English is great by the way! Fun fact crayons did not exist in 1813 when Bridgerton takes place so I just went with pencils lol.

Warnings-None

Pronouns- He/Him

Word Count- 911

Summary- You sneak into Benedict's room to see his new painting drying and there is a slight accident.

Accidents Happen

Benedict informed the whole family of his new painting in his room and warned us sternly not to go in. He said something about the paint being oils and how it takes longer to dry blah blah blah.

I decided one peek can not hurt. I mean I am just going to look at it. It is not like it should matter he usually shows the family his paintings before they dry. What makes this one so special?

I try to be as quiet as possible when going to Benedict's room. I must be cautious not to trip and draw attention like I usually do.

I slowly open the door to make sure it does not creak. I tiptoe on the wooden floors so no one can hear me downstairs. The painting is on the easel facing the open window. I sneak over to finally get a look at the painting.

On my way to the painting, I tripped on my pants and fell into the easel knocking the painting onto the floor. I let out a gasp I really should have gone with Daphne to Madame Delacroix's to get my pants hemmed.

I think my fall must have been loud because right after it I hear loud footsteps coming from the stairs. I scramble to stand up as fast as I can when Benedict slams open his bedroom door swiftly.

"What have you done!" He yells pushing me out of the way.

"I am sorry I didn't mean to. It was an accident!" I stutter out between tears.

I have never seen Benedict this angry and I hate that I am the cause.

“I specifically told you not to come up here and you did anyway! I can not believe you!” He shouts picking up his painting in examining it.

I get a glimpse of the painting as he looks at it. The painting is badly smeared. but I can make out some of the faces. It was a family portrait which somehow makes me feel worse than I already did.

I look at Benedict fighting back my tears which just causes him to glare at me. “How dare you be the one to cry when you are the one who destroyed it.” He scoffs throwing his painting to the ground and storming out.

As he leaves tears start to pour down my face I quickly wipe them away with my sleeve and run to my room. I try to compose myself by thinking of a way to make it up to Benedict. I think of what Benedict loves the most and of course, the first thing I think of is his art which just makes me sadder. However, the thought of his art sparks an idea! I will make him a new family portrait.

I swiftly open my desk and pulled out my pencils. Then I grab a piece of paper from the stack on my desk. I decided to bring my materials under my bed to draw because the Summer heat was making it unbearable to sit at my desk. I spent what felt like hours on my drawing and the next thing I know I am dozing off under my bed. I am not sure how long I was asleep but when I woke up I heard shouting. I jump at the noise hitting my head on the bottom of the bed and let out a yelp. Then I hear rushed footsteps getting closer to my room. I quickly crawl out from under my bed to see what the commotion is.

As soon as I am out from under my bed I am drawn into a tight hug.

“You’re suffocating me” I can barely breathe out.

“We have been looking for you for hours! I was so worried! I am so sorry Y/N I never should have yelled at you like that. I know it was just an accident.” Benedict says loosening his grip.

I shake my head no aggressively “No! I deserved it I should have listened to you! That's why I made you this drawing hopefully it can help at least a little bit.” I move to my bed to pull out the small family portrait I made.

Benedict smiles widely “Is my little brother secretly a great artist? Are you going to be my little twin?” After he says that he messes my hair up roughly.

I laugh “Stop Mother will be mad if my hair is all messed up for dinner.”

“Do not worry about that little brother of mine because our family will be too captivated by this beautiful portrait to notice!” Benedict says holding up my drawing.

“I am sorry it is not as good as the one you made,” I frown.

He pats my shoulder “I am sure you will be a great artist one day maybe even better than me if you keep practicing. Though I can certainly say this portrait is better than mine because you made it for me.”

I make a face of disgust “Benedict don’t get all lovey on me”

“What I can’t love my little brother?” He gasps out in fake shock.

I roll my eyes and Benedict laughs “Come on let's go tell the others I found you they are worried sick about you. They are also mad I yelled at the baby of the family.” He says the last part in a baby voice making me roll my eyes again and laugh.

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artzee-bee · 3 years ago

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End of all things [2] | Chat Noir x witch!reader

Fandom: MIraculous Ladybug (Adrien Agreste/ Chat Noir)

Request:”Hello good evening, could you please do where a witch!Reader who always tries to comfort Chat/Adrian when he is feeling down. Cuz you know in season 4 I noticed he’s getting sadder and sadder. The reader doesn’t like to get involved in all these weird happenings and just lay low. Whenever Chat/Adrian comes to the reader’s house they always make him feel at home. That's when things go off, at the final battle where Hawkmoth got the Miraculouses and the heroes thought they would lose. (Y/n) just landed in front of them looking so done with Hawkmoth.Hawkmoth thinks that (y/n) was just a weakling, but he was wrong. (Y/n) is far stronger than Hawkmoth even he will use the all Miraculouses he’ll still lose.”

Genre: Angst

Warnings: canon typical violence

A/N: It is incredibly late right now, I hope this piece makes sense and that you like it! It was a cool request, but complicated for sure :))

Part 1

~~~

You could have sworn that time stopped altogether at that moment. Somehow, even though the disappointment of having lost and the worry you felt for your best friend, you found a little power to look at Hawkmoth. You expected him to be joyful, restless! You expected him to have already put on both the miraculouses and yet, they were resting in his palm. His eyes weren’t even on them.

“Adrien?” he looked at the broken boy on the ground

“We’re not over yet!” he yelled, running towards Hawkmoth as fast as he could, but it didn’t matter how much will to fight he had anymore! Adrien’s body was going numb. It was giving up on him. And Hawkmoth was gaining more power and energy with every second that went by. The villain grabbed the boy by the shoulder, immobilizing him to his chest, the same way you had done with Marinette

“You are weak and powerless without your ring, boy. Stop it at once!”

“No!” the desperation in his voice made your heart crumble

You felt Marinette stir in your hold. You knew she must have been awake and watching by now, but you didn’t let go. You had been unable to protect Chat from losing his powers, from wasting his energy by squirming in the arms of the enemy. You’ll be damned if you let anything happen to Ladybug now! Because even if this was the end, even if they’d never get their powers back, Marinette and Adrien will always be Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Tears fell from your face as you watched your friend kick and scream in fear and frustration. His hair was sticking to his forehead with beads of sweat

You weren’t sure what you could read within Hawkmoth’s facial expression, but you could tell it wasn’t the confidence from a minute ago. Neither the focus. You could still do something! Under your breath, you began to mutter a chant. You had never tried this specific spell before, but there was nothing left to lose. It was supposed to attract an object of your choosing, to you. Focusing on the image of the miraculouses, held captive in Hawkmoth’s iron grip, you prayed it’d work.

“I don’t want to have to kill you Adrien!” finally, the boy managed to escape and take a few steps back

“What do you care? Just a moment ago you would have done anything it took to get rid of me and Marinette!”

Hawkmoth turned around to face you almost instantly, noticing the movement of your lips.

“Stop that!”

You saw his fist tighten and shake slightly. His fear was all the motivation you needed! Your chants grew louder and louder, more confident and powerful. Hawkmoth placed both his hands around the jewelry in an attempt to prevent it from reaching you. Finally, there was a chance you could still win this!

And then there was a hand on your mouth.

And a kick on the inside of your knee.

You fell to the ground in pain, as the person behind you pushed you harder against the concrete. Right then, was the first time you heard Marinette say anything that day.

“Rena?” her voice broken with despair

“I've never akumatized a hero before” you heard Hawkmoth’s taunting laugh “Can you imagine the possibilities Y/N?”

Tears were brimming in your eyes. Rena was forcing you to the ground with all her force. You heard Adrien call out your name, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You had to find a way out of this but exhaustion was catching up to you quickly. You weren’t used to fights! You weren’t used to such powerful spells within such a short period of time!

With all the strength in your body, you focused again on an imaginary spot, in the middle of it all. You closed your eyes and imagined the ball of energy growing bigger and bigger, somewhere between you and Hawkmoth. Winds picked up speed around you. You opened your eyes slightly, and all you could see was Marinette’s horrified look, but you didn’t care. Not anymore. As long as you were still conscious, the fight would go on. The ball of energy went off again, creating the same bomb effect as in the beginning of the fight. Rena flew off of you, allowing you to move just in time to see Hawkmoth fly into a tree, and drop not only the black cat and ladybug miraculouses, but the butterfly one as well.

It seemed like the magic brooch had come undone from the impact. All 3 jewels fell to the ground and Hawkmoth was swallowed by a purple light. As the detransformation came to an end, all that was left was an unconscious Gabriel Agreste

“Dad?” Adrien’s voice felt like a punch in the heart. You couldn’t tell if he was angry or sad. His eyes turned almost red and he took off running after his father, but you were faster and caught up to him before he could reach Gabriel. You tackled him to the ground to prevent him from waking up the villain and possibly causing more chaos.

“Wait, Adrien, we need the miraculouses!”

“No, what I need is to talk to my DAD!”

“Adrien please!” you could barely manage to keep him from squirming underneath you

“Of course” Marinette replied slowly before holding out her hand. You let go of Adrien, but he didn’t get up. He just placed his right hand on top of Marinette’s, as she carefully slipped the ring on his finger, back where it belonged.

You heard rapid footsteps come your way and saw Marinette run towards the miraculouses, picking all of them in her hand and hugging them to her chest.You couldn’t even imagine the relief she must have felt! She looked like finally, everything in the world was right again. It gave you hope! Adrien visibly relaxed as he watched her too.

“Can I have Plagg back?” he sobbed

Plagg flew out, looking sacred and in distress, but he tried to smile for his boy.

“I’m sorry Plagg.'' the kwami didn’t say anything, choosing instead to nuzzle himself in the crook of Adrien’s neck, in a hug. The boy placed his hand on top of him and began to sob quietly. Your heart sank at the sight and you couldn’t help but let yourself fall on top of Adrien again and wrapping him in another hug. You could hear every beat of his heart and every sorrowful tear rolling down his cheeks. The noise was so loud, you almost didn’t hear Marinette transform back into her heroine self.

You opened your eyes to see her tying up Gabriel, alongside Rena. She gave you a nod, letting you know they got it from here.

“Adrien?” Gabriel whispered slowly. It seemed like he had finally woken up. The boy beneath you slowly raised his head to meet the glance of his dad. Immediately, he pushed you off in order to run to him

“Father. It’s ok! It’s gonna be ok! It’s a misunderstanding, isn’t it?” Adrien ran to him, hopefulness in his voice like he didn’t know he was merely kidding himself

“I did it for a good cause Adrien…”

“No...you didn’t” he insisted

“One day you’ll understand”

Adrien stepped away from the weak body of his father, suddenly horrified at the realisation that Hawkmoth was, indeed, no one other than his own dad. He turned around to see you and Plagg still on the ground where he left you. Tears were quickly making their way back into his eyes as he rushed to you, throwing himself into your open arms. Ladybug picked Gabriel up, and dragged him away, with Rena right on her tail.

Adrien’s cries were muffled by your hair, but his words were still audible, at least to you

“He was my father! All this time”

“I failed everyone”

“No you didn’t Adrien”

“You didn’t know”

“I let myself be vulnerable and gave him the opportunity to take away my miraculous! I could have lost Plagg forever! I let Ladybug down! She lost her earrings and got akumatized and I couldn’t do anything about it!”

“Stop Adrien. It’s ok. It’s all gonna be ok” you tightened your grip around his body “eventually…”

#adrien agreste x reader #adrien agreste #adrien agreste imagine #adrien agreste angst #chat noir #chat noir x reader #chat noir imagine #chat noir angst #mlb #mlb x reader #miraculous ladybug

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vaguely-concerned · 3 years ago

Text

Some Harrow the Ninth reread thoughts because these books get their hooks in me like little else can:

- one thing that really fucking took me out at the knees this time was noticing that before answering god's question whether he forgives him... augustine looks around the room not just at mercy's desecrated body, but at cytherea and g1deon too. he looks around a room of dead siblings with the eyes of a dead sibling. (he probably doesn't know g1deon is dead but that somehow makes it even sadder to me, that now the first and the last brother are gone and he doesn't even realize it). especially with the way god's attitude to him is described as a longsuffering parent welcoming home a kid who's been out past their curfew and augustine and mercy holding each other as 'two children who'd had a nightmare and woken in a fright'... it seems deliberate that in front of gideon we see a subtle emphasis of god in the aspect of the father (as unlike harrow she doesn't really care that much about him as God tm), and surprise! he's not a great dad!!!! ('I will love all of you forever and I never wanted any harm to come to any of you' huh. well those forevers and nevers lasted all of five minutes john guess you did master time after all)

sorry for having my augustine brain on all the time, I truly cannot help it, but there is something for me in this of like... him being stuck in reliving his specific core trauma (the loss of a sibling) again and again and again over the myriad. all of them lost someone each time a fellow lyctor died, of course, but in his case losing brothers and sisters left right and center has that additional edge to it. ('starting to look less like tragedy and more like carelessness' etc. lol) like idk who decided the lyctors should refer to each other as siblings -- one could make a decent guess it was john tho, no way in hell did augustine and mercy look at each other and come up with that one voluntarily fksjdfhjkasd -- but it added an extra level of fuckery to augustine's Whole Deal there.

also i must repeat myself: it is unspeakably metal of augustine to make god himself ask him for forgiveness just so he gets to tell him no. that's the dream. forget steel, that's balls of nuclear pasta level gutsy (yes I did look up what the hardest known material in the universe is and how could I not include it once I knew jfdkshsafksad). I mean he's terrible and irredeemable by pretty much any metric but I cannot help but stan, I can only apologize (thoughts about other stuff under the cut because this got... long oh boy)

- "There is no such thing as forgiveness"

may we talk again about how unspeakably sinister of a sentence that is for GOD (a man who MADE himself God) to speak fsdhkssadfhsakjdf. this dude sets the agenda for the universe and I suppose that's why it's all Like That. he's an old testament kinda guy I guess

also the profound arrogance in then asking (well I mean. it's an order, isn't it, it's 'forgive me or -- and oh this would be so awkward and tedious for us all don't make me do it pwease🥺-- perish') these people who've been closest to him to forgive him, a whole ten minutes later. it goes to show he's not actually after forgiveness at all, because forgiveness implies considering someone else having the right and capability to not just judge you but even behold you truly in the first place, allowing them on your level spiritually so to speak. that's the 'he's never as sentimental as you think' showing through. he simply wants submission, and for things to not have to be uncomfortable for him, even if that makes everyone around him have to live in fear. (which I think is also why he's so rankled by the (false <3) idea that mercy and augustine have been faking not liking each other all this time. at this point that truly is the least of his worries in the grand scheme of things!!! but it's been emotionally uncomfortable for john to deal with all those years, and what could be a greater sin than causing the emperor undying emotional discomfort. -_____-)

I believe John DOES genuinely still have that human need for love and closeness, it's just that it will always, always be second to his need to be god, and be loved and obeyed as god, ultimate and unquestioned, unquestionable. he sucks and I'm obsessed with it

- can u believe. that harrow has unwittingly met both her in-laws. and they made it weird. by jove did they make it so weird. weirder even than how gideon met them??? I'm not sure. at least harrow never had to see god naked (without skin on level naked briefly too) within half an hour of meeting him. on the other hand her MIL did try to hijack her very soul while being... arguably civil at least to gideon. you know, it's hard to make a true comparison here. either way I'm sorry about both your lives kids

- augustine making it clear in the shittiest way possible to harrow that he doesn't care about her or what she thinks as one of their first interactions, her telling him "then that will be your downfall", AND THEN THE ENTIRE REST OF THE BOOK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. right up there with 'I need a special moment to go to hell'. I reiterate my 'if even one person on this shitty bone-bejeweled space station had actually listened to harrow or taken any real non-condescending interest in her at all this plot would have gone v e r y differently' point

- the way gideon's voice bleeds through when the second person narrative describes harrow in moments of agony or vulnerability ('you idiot baby, you absolute sadsack' etc.)........ how does that somehow come across as so much more pained for her and loving than any endearment ever could. it's the same logic as the 'terrible teens', who she would have died for. and she rightfully wants to kick the absolute shit out of ianthe for the things she pulled on harrow when she was that agonized and vulnerable. gideon I love and treasure you. (listen I enjoy watching ianthe do her thing very much but she really found out harrow struggles to hold on to reality and decided making her own hair gaslight her forever was a fun diverting little thing to do with her time. gideon pull her ass off I'll hold your sunglasses baby)

- I did cry over 'was that the day you decided you wanted to die?' again. what of it. don't look at me. (it's just so... I mean... gideon hasn't just been convinced she killed harrow's parents, she was sure she made her want to die as well. and at this point in the book she's already felt harrow's suicidality from the inside many times and knows that's not at all as simple as that, but the trauma logic still lingers. and there's no palamedes there this time to patiently and kindly help her pick it apart until there's just the truth that they were simply two abandoned unloved children hurting each other as a way to love because they knew nothing else. agony. suffering.)

- oh. I just realized that the augustine and mercy hug at the end mirrors the hugs harrow gets from palamedes and ortus earlier in the book. where it's an older brother figure comforting a younger sister. (especially considering that their relationship, as full of mutual loathing and genuine dislike as it is, is also one of the very few remaining things about them that's recognizably human in any way. clearly not actual siblings or only siblings, or several things would be even weirder than they are haha but like in that moment specifically those are the Vibes for me)

also by all accounts literally all the times harrow has ever been hugged in her entire life can be counted on one hand. ...okay that's IT everyone get the right souls back into the right bodies this needs to be remedied immdiately gideon I'm counting on you

- I feel there's not enough appreciation for augustine choosing to describe the heralds by going "imagine... the worst bee" (and as we see later -- is he wrong tho??)

- ". . . with hairs as thick as your fingers. Which weren't actually very thick. (Your fingers are fine, I'm just amending.)"

I'm WEEPING how is that so sweet. Gideon has so much affection and respect for Harrow's body and such awareness that, as it were, 'they were not my thumbs to lose'. rather unlike SOME people *stares pointedly at Ianthe Tridentarius who proceeds to not give me a nanosecond's notice in her rise to world domination*

can u believe tamsyn muir wrote a whole book where they never get to meet and in fact don't even recall each other most of the time and still its entire structure is built from how much they love each other and you feel it by the end. multiple times I've read this book!! and it still bowls me over each time

- "How dare you ask me to live with it?"

this is why Harrow is the single most relatable character ever written to me. that is exactly what I would have said to god should he have stood before me at that age. (also and more importantly finally a protagonist who's my height and the same amount of repressed rage by volume lol)

- I live in fear that in one of the upcoming books we will meet someone who did actually care about babs, and then our one remaining reprieve from crushing sadness will be taken from us

- considering that one of the things john mentions as ~*dad things*~ he would do with his kid is to go out and eat chips, and eating chips is exactly what uh who-we-now-know-is-nona in the epilogue is doing... listen I want him to show up in either nona the ninth or alecto the ninth and I want that to be where we get the 'eat hot chip and lie' meme in all its glory, because truly all john gaius knows is make evil expansionist space empire, god complex, gaslight, drink tea, make dad joke, eat hot chip and lie

- john is such an excellent fucking character honestly. he's such a massive piece of shit, but he makes me cackle the whole way about what a massive piece of shit he is. (ten thousand years of lies about to catch up to him and he goes "I hate to be flip, but... am I in trouble? owo". sir you are the WORST and I kind of love you unfortunately. curse my inability to resist anything I find even vaguely amusing. also the cold casual way he admits to having g1deon try to murder harrow... I do also hope someone finishes what augustine started and slam dunks this dude straight into hell as well. y'know it's the duality of man/god thing I've got going on here emotionally)

- gideon's many, many escape attempts take on so much. just so much muchness. after you go back and reread. it's like... does she actually want to escape the ninth and join the cohort (which she does not actually seem to know the first thing about outside of comic books, including who the fuck they're fighting, and starts to be 'hmmmm' about immediately upon meeting the Terrible Teens, who also wanted to go to war), or does she just know that trying to leave is the most reliable way to get harrow's attention, and without harrow's attention... does gideon even exist? yes. both and neither and in the trauma world where you can't see any other ways for the world to be than how it is. (her wish to join the cohort isn't so much about wanting to be there, it's more about it would be not here, not this', which is the best her brain can do with what she's been given to work with. oh gideon.) it especially caught me that the argument when they were ten and eleven that uuuuuuh spiralled out to much bigger things quickly, what harrow reacts so strongly to is the idea that someone would come and take gideon away -- that she'd be left behind, entirely alone in her misery, while someone loved gideon much better than she'd ever know how to. just... their mutual harrowing (aha) attachment trauma making them tear each other to pieces again and again and it wasn't their fault but they left each other bloody and scarred regardless and they only barely got to realize there might be another way before it was ripped away from them. *wails, rends garments, rolls around in ashes and broken glass*

(also the added anguish of how it seems harrow pulled away from gideon as her mental illness got worse, since gideon doesn't seem to know about it at all. it roughly coincides with their huge catastrophic fallout after harrow's parents' suicide, so how would she know, really. and then what a way to find out. so many layers and all of them bring only more sadness. :( )

- somehow I got so quietly sad this time around over the description of god and augustine both just... talking to cytherea's body sometimes. it feels sort of like someone going to a child's grave to speak to them just to... look for them, even if they're gone. and they're both doing it alone and separately which somehow makes the aspect of 'emotionally estranged spouses' in their relationship stand out all the more. (also I realized this time around that part of the reason augustine is so savage towards mercy in his little warning speech (n o t that augustine ever needs a reason to be an asshole to mercy hahaha) is probably that he's actually kind of upset about someone messing with cytherea's corpse and he thinks she's doing it. (making sure their plan didn't come out was the most important thing, but since he also mentions it after the divine threesome, I think it does bother him.) Which means that john claiming not to notice someone messing with her body is either him lying about it (to cover for who-he-thinks-is-g1deon??) or him being… frankly kind of an oblivious idiot. And the thing about this dude is that I would 100% believe either option)

- I wonder what would happen if god ever saw abigail's research. somehow the prospect does not fill me with optimism and rainbows, I'm sure he'd find some way to make it body horror wonderland headed for revenge town yet

#harrow the ninth #the locked tomb #the locked tomb meta #augustine the first #griddlehark #john gaius #I think those are the main points in this lol #this feels borderline incoherent because sadly my brain does not do literary analysis it does Vibe Safari #every time I try to explain my thoughts I am doing so while being chewed on by the local wildlife in here

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slurp-imagines · 3 years ago

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hii! can I request headcanons of sanji and zoro with an oblivious, ditzy s/o?

hi anon! v cute prompt, thanks for sending & sorry for the long wait. i hope this post still reaches you somehow 😂

Having an oblivious, ditzy s/o: Roronoa Zoro & Sanji

Roronoa Zoro

↳ He thinks it's endearing, but it also kinda drives him nuts a little. Just a little tho

↳ Zoro is somehow extremely straight-forward but also not very forthcoming when it comes to his emotions. So he naturally just sits in this weird sweet spot where any advances he tried to make toward his s/o (before or during their relationship) were just completely misinterpreted.

↳ He thinks the way he feels about them is obvious with the way he seeks them out when they're on the ship, the way he lingers near them during fights, the way he helps them with their ship duties. Zoro's very much a show-don't-tell kind of guy, so it takes a while for him to accept that he'll have to use his big boy words to get them to understand.

↳ "I care about you, Y/N. A lot." "I care about you too!! You're such a good crewmate Zoro :D"

↳ He was genuinely at a loss for words. Spent a few hours brooding in the weight room after that one. Robin probably giggled at him during his walk of shame to the crow's nest and he nearly popped a vein, blushing all the way to his ears lmao. His confessions only escalated from there

↳ Zoro doesn't mind if his s/o can be a little ditzy. Honestly he probably never really even connected that word to them lol. He just sees their character quirks or air-headedness and is like "yeah I mean I've seen weirder"

↳ Zoro does privately think that being around Luffy so much kind of prepared him for his s/o though... Their ditziness is almost an invisible trait to him at this point lol. Except for when anyone tries to tease them about it, in which case he gets weirdly defensive of them. It's endearing but also a little funny, especially if his s/o is oblivious to that too

Sanji

↳ When it comes to romance, Sanji has all the subtly of flashing neon lights, which his s/o probably appreciates since it makes interpreting things a lot easier on their end. So Sanji thinks he and his s/o are super well-matched! Even if he deflates a little every time his pick up lines just go straight over their head lmao

↳ He will go all out with romancing his s/o in this case, and he'd do so regularly. If they don't usually think much of the little things he does to say 'I love you' through the day, then he'll tell them verbally as many times as it takes. This man is full of love and he will do everything to make sure it reaches them

↳ Also, Sanji is a great partner for an s/o who's a little on the ditzy side. He's patient and non-judgemental toward his loved ones, and he's very good at reading people even through all their eccentricities. If his s/o is absent-minded then they'll never have to worry again lol, this man is so on top of things. He'll have everything they need before they even know they misplaced it. It's like magic

↳ This is maybe a little sadder than necessary buuut...

↳ Sanji getting insecure while courting his s/o because he thought at first that they might like him but they're so oblivious to romance that they keep "swerving" all of his attempts at confessions and romance. He probably has a lot of thoughts like "Of course they're ignoring me, they're too good for me anyway" :(

↳ It's very much Sanji crying into a bowl of soup at night while Nami tries to convince him that he's doing well and Y/N is just very, veeery oblivious.

#sanji #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #sanji x reader #one piece #one piece imagines

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shihalyfie · 2 years ago

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Between Hiro and Espimon, I kind of jokingly hope that Umi Tenjin and somehow Mona Marshall to do voices in Ghost Game as well. "The Koushirouing never ends~"

Oh, goodness, I am so glad I am not the only one who thought this. (For those unaware, Hiro's voice actress Tamura Mutsumi voiced Koushirou in tri. and Kizuna, while Espimon's voice actress Kobayashi Yumiko voiced Koushirou in Adventure:, and official has even pointed this out.)

In fact, Tenjin seems to have retired from voice acting -- she's had no new roles in over a decade, and she currently has no agency affiliation, which usually is a sign of withdrawal from the industry. (The voice acting industry is rather extremely make-it-or-break-it, and one of the really unfortunate things is that a lot of Digimon voice actors don't end up getting a decent flow of work in the industry, so a rather significant percentage has retired.) But she did return for Adventure PSP (2013) and the 15th anniversary drama CD (2015), and it seems she quietly showed up to a Digimon music event in 2019 with Kazama (Yamato), the probably-industry-retired Araki (Hikari), and the very industry-retired Tada (Terriermon/Lopmon), so she's probably not averse to picking up Koushirou again if it's for something short and not a full TV series. That said, I wonder if she would be willing to do so for a role that's a reference to Koushirou, not necessarily Koushirou himself (not that I think she'd hate the idea, but we are talking about dragging someone out of retirement)...

This is a bit of a digression (and perhaps a bit of a sadder note to divert this post into, I'm sorry about that), but I do wonder about things like this in regards to the extremely awkward circumstances Adventure-related things are currently in right now, something I've been calling a "divorce" situation between the old staff and the new staff due to the fallout of tri. and Kizuna. The most infamous part of it is the fallout between Kakudou and Kizuna production (which was only really the last straw in a passive-aggressiveness war that had been going on since the later parts of tri., this was just the first time it was so obvious in public), but I've seen other production staff members from the original Adventure and 02 also dancing around the topic of tri. and Kizuna/The Beginning on Twitter with differing levels of awkwardness. (I can't say I really blame them; considering how enthusiastically they like to talk about their work on the original series, it really seems to have been like their baby to them, so it's only natural something like this happening with something so personal is likely to give them mixed feelings.)

This awkward situation has been happening to a lesser extent with the voice actors as well -- for one example, Tochika Kouichi (Hawkmon) joined Twitter last year and didn't hesitate to re-establish contact with Natsuki Rio (Miyako's original voice actress), shortly after which the latter's profile suddenly updated from "Miyako" to "Miyako (2000)", as if the incident (and especially Tochika's promotion of Kizuna/The Beginning-related stuff in front of her) had given her increased awareness that she doesn't get to be Miyako anymore. But on the bright side, most of our voice actor testimony indicates that they seem to have also been understanding of the reason why this all happened; Fujita Toshiko gave her blessing to the new tri. voice actors before she passed, Maeda Ai was openly supportive of Yoshida as Mimi, and Urawa certainly took the fact Iori's role was basically taken away from her right in front of her eyes in stride for the most part. And after all, Tenjin being likely industry retired means she probably would have less of a stake in this than the actors who are still active and therefore really did have an important role taken away from them.

Meanwhile, Mona was lucky and got to voice Izzy every time (for those who aren't aware, people who know the American English dub generally agree she's got to be one of the most iconic voices in it), and I actually even wonder if they'll end up keeping her for the upcoming Adventure: dub despite the fact that the Japanese version deliberately changed out the cast (edit: I’ve been informed that apparently they’re definitively changing them out, ah well). If they do dub Ghost Game, she should absolutely voice Hiro. Either way, please bless another generation of kids with her. (In fact, she probably actually sounds closer to Tamura than Tenjin when you think about it.)

#ask-anguirus #shiha's ask box #digimon mutli series talk

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