#Sorry mike

[thisweeksobsessionis]

Mike going

“We’re friends. We’re Friends”

is the equivalent of

“I’m fine. I’m fine”

one “i’m fine,” I believe you.

Two “i’m Fine’”s is suspicious and you Monsieur are defiantly not fine. Im making the hot chocolate as we speak.

[driftingvoid-155]

Michael, proud he got the fnaf 6 job: 'So what stood out that made you decide to hire me?'

Henry: 'you were the only one that applied'

[jack-merridoomed]

who wanna hear me belt payphone by maroon five jack merridew edition

[elevenmayfieldz]

stranger things but i cut out mike in every mileven kiss scene and replace him with max

[fagtron2000]

[statisticalbread]

new mike fic, rejoice!

Charlie had told him once that he reminded her of a fawn. He can't be the fawn, he's the hunter.

or: Mike wakes up from half a memory, half a nightmare battling with himself.

(i’m so sorry special agent michael warren you’re just so easy to make miserable ily)

[neon-vocalist]

nothing worse than sitting here retweeting sexy hololive fanart without a care in the world and suddenly my school’s security guard descends from the stairs above me with a clear view of my phone and just kind of stares at me a little bit

[exsqueezememacaroni]

Tell me you aren't staring at Mike's tiniest of happy trails right now. Be real.

[fablexdreams]

Yall, I've been writing a long as fuck Schmidt Family/Mike and Abby one-shot/story for like 2 months now, and writing the moments where Mike is taking care of a baby Abby completely on his own is breaking my heart beyond repair, especially considering it's pretty much confirmed to be canon now lmao. This man has not caught a break since he was 12. He needs a hug so bad fr.

[milfzatannaz]

The funky bunch is my fav group of ppl bc our age range is decently wide. meaning I’ll be crying over financial aid paperwork for my university and Chloe and hallie are out here like. here is my Adult Job and we are going to give Adult Advice. And Mike is just out here being the oldest of all of us

[changing-my-username]

“Mike Krack watching in the pitlane”

[stale-compost]

haven't bought weed from my weed guy in months bc I discovered $40 THCA ounces and now he just sends me pics/videos of his food sometimes

[huneyism]

true art created by me and a friend

[msaprildaniels]

Being a big MST3K fan knows that this is anachronistic Mike Erasure.

It's also not caring too much.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot