#Sorry i didnt post urgh

[drunkonduty]

I KEEP FORGETTING I HAVE TUMBLR AAHHH

I have so many unfinished shit in my sketchbooks

[sillysurrealwriter]

Künstlich auf Ewig

“Goddamn it! Not again!”

I stared at my recent posted artwork, on the platform known as UArt. I’ve been a user of this app for almost a year and posted artwork after artwork....

Yet no matter how much I drew or what I drew for that matter, my likes were only around 5-10. 15 on a good day.

It was so frustrating....

Oh right. Sorry, I haven’t told you who I am yet. My name is Emily and I am a 18 year old artist. I loved drawing for my whole life. To just create my own worlds, characters and whatnot....It’s magical. Art was my favourite subject in school even, the only one I excelled at while the rest was....Let’s not talk about that. I did end up graduating after all (somehow).

I was working as a cashier, at a local supermarket and tried in my freetime my hardest, to make my art business run well. I posted regularly, posted stories and connected with other artists. My online friends liked the water color painting style that my drawings often had. My own artstyle.

Yet....in spite of all the support, I never had anyone commission me... Well except a few people, who ended up scamming me out of 200 dollars and now I am in credit card debt. Urgh.... Mom and dad didnt like that and haven’t talked to me since. Was about 2 months ago.

Right now, I was getting out of bed and looking on my phone. Today, I had a day off so I wanted to spend some time to work on my artwork.

But sadly, my motivation sunk faster than the Titanic.

Because my artwork, which depicted my OC a serial killer who loves strawberry and uses the blood to make strawberry, barely got any likes. Which wasn’t unusual. But I wasn’t mad about that.

No...I was mad at another artwork. Well....No. Calling it artwork would be an insult.

Because I was looking at soulless trash of a beautiful anime girl. An AI-generated image. Guess how many likes that one got?

If you guessed 90k, then you are correct.

There were so many comments, praising this soulless piece of trash. Simping for this thing...just because of the fat milkers and charming smile.

Barely a single comment, called the artist out for using AI. I mean, come on! Her thumbs were as long as the other fingers and as thin too. Not to mention that the dress she was wearing was fused with the background.

Either the “artist” who posted this shit, deleted all the comments. Or some people are too horny, to see what’s in front of them in the mirror...well, on the screen. But you get me, right?

It’s not fair!

I work day and night to generate artwork after artwork, barely getting any likes. And what does this user do?!

Just type in some stupid commands, to generate this shit!

I gritted my teeth and resisted the urge to scream.

God...I needed some coffee......

Forcing myself to get out of bed, I slumped towards the kitchen and immediately poured tons of coffee into the machine, as I sat down and ate some chocolate cake I made from last night. My figure was rather plumb and it was annoying that people make fun of my weight.

But I think I am physically well off. Otherwise, I would have already had an cardiac arrest, lifting those water pack bottles in the back. Seriously.

I am strong enough, to lift two boxes on my shoulder. I am fine, damn it.

Urgh...

Sipping out of my coffee, I noticed yet another rent notice on the ground. The landlord was starting to get impatient.

Damn it............

I needed money quickly.

I...needed-

Suddenly, I saw a notification on my phone. Someone sent me a DM. With a smile, I opened it and began to read it.

“Hey MagicMaroon, I love your art. Its soo cool and it inspired me, to make my own AI Art using your style. Hope you like it!” :D

I stopped smiling, when I saw the post he forwarded too.

It...was the same stupid ai artist......And...

He made an ai-generated image with my style!

And...it got 10 k likes already!

I gritted my teeth angrily and typed.

“Take it down.”

“Why?”, he asked. “I like it.”

“You stole my art!”

“Well, your fault for posting it to begin with.”, he answered, with a laughing emoji. “Nothing on the internet is private. I can do what I want and I gave credit too. Check the desc.”

My eye twitched, as I read the description.

They wrote “Credit to the artist”

I typed again.

“You fucking bastard! Type my name!”

“Hm? But why? It’s not like you have tons of followers anyway. Plus, I made the art. Not you. I am a way better artist than you. Haha xD”

I groaned angrily.

He...he had the nerve to steal my art....something I worked on for years.....And mocked me?!

That’s it!

I quickly took screenshots of the convo, while that bastard kept writing me.

“I made 90 k with all my art!

“I made the best art ever!”

“AI is the future. No one cares about weak humans like you.”

“Hello, why are you not responding?”

I smirked and then swiped to the story board and then made a long post, detailing my screenshots.

And then....I posted it.

It took a bit, but eventually I got likes.

First one...

Then two...

Then three...

I got more and more likes and shares and I waited patiently, for the little shit to write back in shock.

I smiled and then swiped to the DM profile and laughed.

His account was no longer there. It got deleted.

“Take that, art thief!”, I shouted and laughed loudly. God...this made my day......

And it barely started!

Giggling to myself, I suddenly noticed an email popping up. Curiously, I opened it and.....

.......it was from the AI artist, MoonDream AI. He wrote:

“Listen bitch. You made a big mistake. You cost me a lot. You will pay.”

Rolling my eyes, I blocked the bastard and got up happily.

Time to draw another painting.

The next hours were rather uneventful. I painted on my phone, as my account got more and more followers and my art got more and more likes. Many artist reached out to me, in order to share their experiences and frustration with AI art. It was liberating.

And in the upcoming days, I even got a few comissions and I finished em all in a couple of days, making about 400 dollars, enough to pay my stupid rent.

At last, everything was going my way. Which is why I was sitting in my home in the evening, watching Netflix. It had been a week since that AI artist disappeared from the end of the earth and I was feeling quite relaxed, to say the least.

Things were going great.....

At least, I thought they did. Because no matter how hard I tried to draw, I still had that mail in my head.

It sounded threatening...but, what were they gonna do? I blocked them and their account is no more.

I should just relax for the time being. Some guys on the net can talk big, but have next to not action. Which is why, I simply needed to relax for now.

Stuffing my mouth with a bit of popcorn, I hummed relaxed and stared at the TV. Right now, the main character was about to kiss his lover and have hot sex with him. Slowly, I watched in awe as he took off his shirt, for their tongues to clash and their little buddies to perk out, when-

.....something strange happened.

The hand....the hand of the MC.......

Why did it suddenly have a 6th finger? An animation error?

Well.....it happens. It-

Wait...why did the hand now go into the penis, as if it was liquid? And..why....

The men....they kiss but...........their tongues...fuse with each other and their hair..fuses with the noses...

Suddenly, they barely resemble people anymore! Wh...What’s going on?!

The background..it was a bed and now....and now......its...a car? And...then......a boat?

The animation changes constantly! Like...like a machine and...and....and....and....and.....

................Wait...........

I blinked briefly.

And all of a sudden, I was sitting in the darkness. My breathing hitched, as disgusting images shot through my mind.

That grotesque animation....those...disgusting gory visuals....the faces I was looking at, shifting into different people every second.....

I coughed something out. I...I thought it was blood, but....

It...was some black liquid.

I vomited the substance out heavily and fell on the floor, the room filling with some strange scent that reminded me of some rotten meat and sweet candy.

It...was disgusting...So disgusting...

And those images...they kept on coming...and..and...my limbs...

They...twisted...turned....and....and.....lost the right proportions...My leg was twice as big as my body, my head was as small as my pinkie and my limbs were as thin as my hair, as my breasts expanded and became as big as my leg and arm respectively.

I tried to scream, but the substance began to make me choke. I screamed in pain and...and...and.....

................................

................................

...............................

The next day, another artwork was posted on URArt. The artist was Moondr_eam AI....

....and I was the artwork.

The End

[liberty-spiked]

Fuck of a mother, i need a new job.

[gunblade]

just saw a post that made me think about how badly i was bullied as a kid. i wanted to be friends with everyone but instead i got ostrasized and shoved around, and i couldn’t understand why. more times than i think i can even remember, i’ve been backed into walls and threatened, pushed to the ground, laughed at by entire classes for just existing... hell, once in science class, one girl who was supposedly my only “friend” wiped acid onto the back of my hand. then when she cried because she got detention for being evil, everyone was mad at me? when all i did was stare at her like she’d lost it, and the teacher saw her do it??? it isn’t even like i tattled on her??? (and even if i had, my hand was burning!!!)

there’s only so much of that you can take. i got aggressive. i got distant. i got mean. what the fuck do you want from me?

[sips-tea-cutely]

amwaahahha me seeing the latest post and thinks..if ur confortable cuz rhis topic si kinda weird and things i mean in a trigger way but s/o s3lf h4mrning or like feeling su1c1d4l thinga like that if youre confortable feel free to ignore this,, btw im sorry if this isnt allowed i cant find a "i wont write/ will write" list :'(( anyway have a good day! /e dance2 (my highest kin is backgroundgirlcharacter813)

Jouno’s s/o who self-harms

tw: sh, suicide, blade, PLEASE dont sh, fluffy ending

#Saigiku Jouno

it was not often you cut yourself. it was only when you were stressed, when jouno wasn’t home. fortunately for you, he had been out at work later than usual.

grabbing a swiss army knife hidden in your drawer, you flip out the blade and scrunched up your sleeve. landing the blade on your arm, the blade cutting through your skin—

woosh. “that fukuchi seriously… how is he the leader of the hunting d…” jouno complained aloud, stopping himself, smelling iron, blood.

opening the door to your shared bedroom, the scent stronger now. “sai’! i..i didnt hear you come through the door? did you use your ability again~?” you playfully lecture him in an attempt to distract him from the overwhelming sense of blood, throwing the knife back into the drawer.

“did you get hurt? who was it? i swear to god, i’ll send them over to vice commander teruko, just give me their name.” he threatened. “no! i didnt get hurt! i—it must’ve been some animal blood, i walked nearby the butcher, haha! right anyw-“

“no, this is fresh blood, just a few minutes ago. what happened?” hah, nothing goes behind sai’s back, huh? sitting down onto the bed, back slumped in defeat, you finally tell him, revealing all your scars. even if he couldn’t see them, he got smell them, the oppressive and foul odor filling every sense, reminding him of his criminal days.

“im sorry, sai’.” you say while weeping, wrapping your arms around his torso. comfort… jouno wasn’t well— ever good at comforting people. torturing people and putting them into little mind games, that was his specialty. but,

seeing his treasured jewel, torturing themself— he wrapped an arm around your back and buried his face in your hair. “mm.. it’s alright… im not mad, ok? just… worried for you, dear.”

thinking for a while, he carefully let you off of him and went to the bathroom, grabbing some cotton pads, bandage and disinfectant.

“this might sting.” he said, feeling around for the cut before covering it with the alcohol-soaked pad. “so, why?” he asked, it was almost like he was begging. “i do it when im stressed..” you quietly admit.

“so then why don’t you come to me? ive told you multiple times that i’m here for you, dear.” he reminded as he wrapped your arm. “or perhaps it became an addiction, a stress relief?”

“…” staying silent, he took that as a yes. “well then jewel— if you cant do it for yourself, do it for me. you know i hate the scent of iron, don’t you?” he complained lightheartedly “ha… hahhahaha!” you giggle.

‘what?’ jouno frowned, he was trying to connect to you emotionally! “sai’ that’s not a very good reason.. ahhaha..” you smile at his kind attempt.

“urgh… fine! ill tell you something; i have a secret.” he announced. “what? tell me! what is it?” you ask. “no thanks. this is really important so for now, just stay alive.” he said, while getting up.

“what?! tell me please, sai’..” you whine. “no amount of begging will get me to tell you, jewel.” he says while finally removing his uniform, much to your disappointment.

now behind closed doors, he held his heart in lovesickness, in sadness—if he could convince you to stay alive, he’d have some type of future with you and he’d finally understand the reasons the hunting dogs protect, and he’d finally have something to protect.”

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: the heart of arvus / 3.3.21

short session today! nyx was getting his hair done for like 5 hours and its now 9 pm and i am very tired and want to sleep but i will power through it for taure's sake

oh yeah btw this is the session where taure is gonna not. taure is gonna go on vacation and pet puppies and i am going to lie facedown in a ditch

LAST TIME WITH THE WYLD KNIGHT-- wait no. yes, michael did in fact mix up the names of the 2 groups LAST TIME WITH THE HOPE'S GUARD we are on a rock! in the sky! i dont remember who went up and who didnt. oh i dont think any of us went up i think we just threw kaepora in there

oh the elf is a liar there is TOTALLY enough room for all of us to vibe up there.

i have straight up not been posting any of my notes to tumblr. i should do that after this. hrm [ AND THEN I DIDNT ]

OH HEY last session was 2.2 and today is 3.3 thats really cool. i swear im awake and paying attention

ELF REMINDS TAURE OF HOUSE ROTHAAL which is the house of friendly elves we helped in artevon! her name iiiiis Velna i think! time for wine mom taure. hey why does f.lux disable when i open discord. weait no it doesnt im just mildly insane tonight

silje has learned cloning

@ future leos I AM SO FUCKING SORRY this is a horrible disaster ball of leo+ica+k and we are Not Awake and i am. struggling.

oh hey a feedback failed in blaseball. poor NaN. URGH OKAY LEOS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS these are going to be the worst notes ever

[charlie voice] pog-gers! velna's been staying in the heart of arvus studying history stuff! shes been trying to restore & translate things OH TIME FOR THORNE TO SHINE silje has entered silly mode. this cat loves books HEY WHY DOES VELNA HAVE TORTURE INSTRUMENTS? I SPACED OUT FOR A HOT SEC theres like. a cage with blood in it. blood cage

oh my god im struggling so much. are we dying yet okay no we're not dying yet, but the water dripping from the tree roots is Super poisoned

charlie found a hidden chamber w a teleportation spell circle in it! hooray i am accomplishing things

detect poison can apparently detect how good wine is (it cant) we're drinking incredible wine out of the fantasy equivalent of shitty dollar store mugs

OH HER NAME IS VALNA. Valna Rothaal! shes been on arvus for 16 years. waow

if charlie isnt doing anything in a scene shes gonna just be default dancing. im sorry. i just have the :cope: emoji on loop in a tiny corner of my brain

[ this is what :cope: is ]

PEPPER IS HERE pepper is gone. goodbye pepper

thorne is rolling to infodump THORNE HAS FINALLY ROLLED A NAT1 ON THE INFODUMP THORNE IS TALKING ABOUT BLASEBALL? thorne is really excited to talk about blaseball, the hit sport from the feywild

...VALNA'S BEEN RAISING UNDEAD? huh. she says halvkar lost control of the undSH'ES LEARNING FROM HALVBKAR? HALVKAR IS HER TEACHEWR? SCREAMINGG charlie: i cant fuckin believe this shit, my dudes.

NOOOO SILJE IS GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYY HE THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA HAVE A GOOD DAY

taure: [gets angsty] charlie: MMMM,,,, "charlie pulls out one of the bottles of alcohol shes been carryin around for like, 3 years real-time, pops it open, and hands it to silje"

charlie, genuinely concerned: good luck with your studies, uh... try not to get yourself killed. itd suck if you died. LMAO THORNE WARNED HER THAT CHARLIE'S A PYROMANIAC charlie has self-restraint! ..........sometimes!

solar: thorne is not responsible for the fact that i am stupid.

LMAO sieron walks through the portal but with his cloak of billowing active. gg sieron

kali: that was fast-- taure & thorne: [attempting to explain] charlie: HHEEEUUUURUUGGHGHGHHhh

i swear my charlie voice is getting more and more nasal.

charlie: hey, real quick taure, when did you become racist again? (taure is pissy at elves bc tragic family backstory. elf beef. eeef)

charlie: that was a whole situation up there-- i am not dabbing on purpose--

oh she mentioned that fjolnir isnt from the outer plane. that might be important.

Back To Camp!

we have chosen to [SPARE] Valna Rothaal. this action will have consequences charlie now knows the teleportation signature to the heart of arvus! so like, if we're ever able to teleport fast travel stuff, we can just go there i think! neat.

taure turns around and... suddenly gets dizzy. and starts stumbling around. anD PASSES OUT? OH COOL SO. TAURE SEES A PITCH BLACK SKY W A SINGLE YELLOW EYE LOOKING AT HER AND PASSES OUT. AND THATS THE END OF THE SESSION. GREAT GREAT GREAT

leos: did the other party kill her? michael: They Tried. - michael: its a shame, i was looking forward to you fighting your first legendary monster leos: MMRRGHGHHHH;;; [fear.jpg]

yeah michael expected us to try and murder valna but instead we were just disappointed in her life choices. neat.

TAURE CANONICALLY HAS SLEEPY BITCH DISEASE or rather the sudden twist at the end was something planned for a while now and penn told michael to just have it kick in whenever. neAT.

[transrightsjimin]

tw weight mention // diet culture // disordered eating // cant make readmores on the app im sorry

im so concerned abt jimins eating habits :(( hes gotten so skinny iver the years, i recently went through the comments of glam - party xxo and various newer fans didnt recognize him from back then bc 'huh is that rly him? this guy had chubbier cheeks and hes cute but he looked so different' while to me he looked very much like 2013 jimin too but urgh hes lost so much over the years :((( im like 40-50 kg heavier than him at this point while 11cm shorter and just the thought of having that kind of body nd doing diets while having to do so much every day in terms of dancing and exercise and endurance sounds so dangerous 😥 like i know on the one hand he has a lot of core strength nd can do amazing stunts nd lift ppl just like the other members, but on the other hand he overworks himself too easily and cant physically do the same exercises as the rest nd is generally very strict on his body image (nd im also more concerned abt hobi nd joon since a year ago as theyve tried to lose weight nd done diets 😬) and i know ut shouldnt be any of my business but it does scare me, it just reminds me of when jimin passed out on a stage years ago from not taking care of myself. these guys always push themselves to the limit which also shows in stuff like them getting oxygen masks at a concert and whatnot and im just 😭 i hate beauty standards, theyre so fucking harmful and it worries me how much they do on a daily basis while not eating enough bc of being afraid of gaining weight. im always just also concerned when idols share their weight number (which i know wasnt even the focus of his tweet) and some fans end up thinking they have to be the same. like when sunmi shared a picture of her scales and was happy w her new weight, there was a lot of controversy bc ppl thought she was losing more and triggering fans w EDs, but she actually gained more (though still way too few) and was happy w that but it was unclear from the description. im glad ppl pointed out it was harmful to post scales w such a low weight even if there was a misunderstanding. im just worried urgh

[autumn-foxfire]

Oh shit no no, YOU DIDNT UPSET ME THAT WASNT ABOUT YOU!!!! I am super confused, did I mention anything claiming how law works and get it wrong? I thought we were discussing how the police was corrupt? Hm okay. And actually Twice was 16, he was obeying the speed limit and someone else ran into his motorcycle without warning and broke their arm. The police officer he was talking to shouldn't have dismissed it and blamed him. Don't give records to people who aren't at fault, especially children.

I’m sorry, it was how I read the tone of the ask. It came across like you were blaming the police for Twice’s record, that’s why I responded the way I did.

I didn’t know he was 16 when it happened (I must have missed that) but ultimately when people are driving, unless they can prove that the person jumped into the road, the responsibility will always been on the driver for not stopping in time and causing injury because you always have to be on the look out for hazards when driving.

I have a feeling it became a he-said, she-said situation. Remember Twice’s account wasn’t the only one the police would have heard and while we know Twice wouldn’t have lied, the officer was probably in a situation where he couldn’t prove Twice’s claims that the person jumped into his bike and as the driver he was held responsible.

(Now I understand why jaywalking is illegal in some areas in america, it protects the drivers).

Urgh, this is me playing devil’s advocate but if Twice is old enough to drive a vehicle that could be potentially used to hurt someone, shouldn’t he be old enough to have a record? Then again, records like this can stop people from getting jobs, especially in Twice’s situation where he was labelled a reckless driver when he wasn’t. I don’t know, I feel like criminal records are used more to harm criminals then help them but I can also understand why they’re there (like you probably wouldn’t hire a man charged with multiple counts of reckless driving to drive your truck full of important goods).

I guess that’s why in some countries child criminal records are expunged when they hit 18.

(I’d still blame the judge for giving Twice the record, not the police though.)

Edit: I’m sorry if my previous answer came across as rude, by the way, it wasn’t my intention.

Second Edit: Just wanted to tell you anon that I fixed that originall post and by that I mean I crossed out everything wrong and added the corrections!! Sorry about that!!!

[larissaloki]

Urgh I hate speaking to people at times. This post is a massive rant about a guy I know and as I'm on mobile I can't put a read more line sorry!

Yesterday I invited a friend over as haven't seen him in a while, cool awesome, we chatted and captain marvel came up. I said from the get go not to spoil it as I haven't seen the movie yet and really want to watch it.

He was determined to spoil it, kept saying how what he had to say wouldn't spoil such a boring movie, despite my insistent no to him telling me anything. This pissed me off as you could probably predict, I was adement I wanted to see the movie for myself as I have seen some good reviews for this movie and its captain marvel! She's awesome!

His complainta were that she didn't apparentljy show much emotion compared to other fun and lighthearted marvel movies.... When I brought up the the movies were progressively getting more series since the winter soldier movie, and that I can count the amount of scenes were most characters didnt show much emotion other than resting face. His response? "well we know more about those characters and it fit the scenes"

now I haven't seen the movie captain marvel, but I'd assume she wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbow in a serious movie which I think is about discovering her past?? (this is what asshat told me it's about) Literally, her not smiling and acting in the same manner as Chris evens in some of his movies was apparently lack of acting. Because we know more about him, this is captain marvels first movie thats come in late to the game! Of course we know little about her but that shouldn't affect your view on the acting!

Then we had the typical, "well wonder women was good but this one just wasn't, I'm all for women lead films but this was just terrible, I read she wasn't even meant to come into the story line yet" and he made a few other claims that were just utter bullshit, I go through a fuck ton of marvel news blogs. I think I would know the plans movie wise and shit before him,someone that's more into dc.

Theast bit that got me was, him claiming that apparently Brie Larson was going to be taken out of the next film that has captain marvel in due to how she's been in her interviews towards straight white guys.

You've guessed it, my friend is a straight, white dude. And because she bit back at all those early guys criticising her not smiling in her trailer, she was immediately demonised and targeted repeatedly. Asshat was defending the guys by saying that she shouldn't have said the movie wasn't for guys, that she was doing a career suicide by insulting a nearly an entire fanbase. As if women don't make up a massive chuck of fanbases. No amount of me saying that most guys were purposely trying to hurt her sales, before the movie even came out and they were after her from the get go, would make him believe that Brie wasn't the one entirely at fault.

In the end I told him repeatedly that I was going to reserve all final judgement until I've actually seen the movie as, when Venom came out, people said it was terrible yet I loved it.

Guys, you don't make up the entire fanbase, stop trying to ruin movies for others just because you personally didn't like them.

[lupienne]

Hey, @jaycee374 I hope you don’t mind I made this a post. I thought you made some good points and wanted to reply in something better than a ‘reply box’. XD (Just let me know if you’re opposed and I will delete this post pronto. :))

        jaycee374

@lupienne ah this is gold xD TV!Negan indeed always said he likes killing (under the right circumstances)^^" maybe this rn was just a set-up to make it especially nasty. also considering the amount of shit talking, can you really blame him for not remembering all of it? xD yes! i forgot to mention. but walking in there with a crowbar and not a gun was so fucking wild xD i get she wanted to bash in his head but girl, you need a safety gun. smh

i like what you said but bc their motivation to beg for death is so different i think it's okay tv!N didnt apologise. bc he doesnt feel sorry for what he did. he's just sorry for himself, what he became. eventho he had 1.5yrs to think about it i doubt he'd  realised anything without input and the "redemption" comic!N went through. Tv!neg is just not there (yet?) he really does have to earn it first. i hope we get that somewhen.

the show tries to ride the pity train but doesnt seems like it's working xD ppl who hated negan still hate him. they gotta do a lot better than this. lol basically you cant expect tv!Negan to act like comic!neg in any way. he's not been through the same and tbh it's not even the same person. bonus: i can't get over how negan can't move without making those old man sounds xD we get it you're old. geez

and as for maggie, it's like you said. letting him live isn't mercy it's punishment. tv maggie didnt really move on but got her 'justice' as much as she can rn. urgh i hate that they make her leave off screen tho. like srsly?? maggie deserved better”

---

That’s true, I suppose we can forgive TV Negan for not remembering all the shit talk he did LOL Hell, Comic Negan confused Holly for Andrea XD Maybe small details isn’t their strong suit. ;)

Right, at least Michonne could’ve stood on the steps with a gun in case things went bad. Out of sight, but there to protect Maggie.

Ok, you make a good point. Although it is the reason why I dislike the placement of this scene. The entire mood, weight and meaning of the scene is different from the comics. You’re entirely right that TV Negan didn’t apologize because he didn’t feel sorry, he hadn’t yet gotten to that point and it was all about ending his own suffering. Not guilt over the suffering he caused others. Just his own. It makes sense for TV Negan 100%. Hell, you’re actually right that it wouldn’t even be genuine if he did apologize. It’d be more insulting to Maggie than anything.

At the same time, it makes me wish they hadn’t even done this scene because other than to show TV Negan is miserable and sad, he hasn’t grown in any way. I don’t even know if TV Negan is capable of remorse and empathy so maybe everything I’m griping about is a moot point. Maybe he’ll never feel bad about what he did.

I know I can’t expect them to act the same, I still do ‘enjoy’ comparing them but at this point it’s like comparing apples to oranges. You’re right that TV Negan hasn’t gotten the same experiences that Comic Negan has. That’s what bugs me about having this scene at all because it loses it’s value. Or, rather, it just takes on a different value - we see a sad Negan, a powerless and suffering Negan and a Maggie who at least gets to feel some small vengeance against him. It’s more about her than him, whereas in the comics it felt like it was a turning point for both of them. Comic Maggie got to feel revenge/closure and Comic Negan was humanized, humbled and repentant. And yeah, it’s a total bummer she is leaving (?) (I’m not entirely sure, it’s something about her contract...) But damn all these characters leaving/getting killed off sure does mess with these comic moments. Maybe they should just split off from the comics entirely, honestly. Not do any comic things, just keep the stories completely separate.

LMAO I lol’d at his ‘old man sounds’ *grunt, groan, moan* ‘ahh my bones are creaky’ Heh. Sounds like me when I get up in the morning hahaa!

So, overall, I do think you make a great point on how this scene works for TV Maggie and Negan. I just know some people are going to think this TV scene is somehow reflective of the comic scene when they both are entirely different in tone. The two scenes have completely different meanings (at least for Negan.) I guess that’s my overall gripe but in the end maybe it’s just a moot gripe. Lol.

(again please let me know if you wish me to take this post down.)

[angelblumes]

(food) Hey hey Hiiii how's you doing? 😁 mine is strawberry, the Laffy taffy flavour, idk im not a big fan of banana flavored things but I got you. I've been watching another couple on YouTube smh its still reactions but its scary reactions which I like because its scary lmao and I got ppl with me ya know. Its called Scary Hours just in case you want to know, very paranormally. Cindy is so im so lesbian for her but they both are superrrrrr funny. 2 me anyway. I hope your mom is doing well, the covid is 🙄. Do you know how its so much effort to hate someone but you just can't like them? ugh one day I will blow up and idk what will happen? its connected to one of my immediate family members therefore connected to me. I can't believe Abigail got killed I get its made up but I just wanted her to be happy 😕 there is this big ol spider that lives on my porch, his name is Wilbert. He got many nicknames now. He scares me but he can live with us he just needs to go somewhere else that isn't right above my seat. Ran out of the good stuff, I should cut down but damn I do not want to especially now that its depression season. I've been hanging out in my room instead outside because the weather tis fun. I'm a mobile gamer now 😎 idk if it counts tho its family business because of my family are nerds when it comes to that tho. My coffee has been👌 ❤ my self esteem has been whoo!! Out the roof for some reason no problem with that of course makes my life interesting. I've been decor gaming its beautiful 😍 ok im done now I think. I hope you've been so good and ily and I hope you have a wonderful day etc 💗 💛 💖 💓 💕 ❤

sorry this took so long❤️❤️strawberry is sooo good too if i didnt like banana it wuld be my fave. so u have good taste besides not liking banana flavored stuff🙄oh no r u saying u hate someone connected to ur family? that's so rough. i can't deal w family problems i will blow up always. AND FR THO... i read smth the other day saying she doesn't die in the book. why did he do that..... to cause us PAIN AND SUFFERING that's why. wilbert is such a cute name i love that. i hope he leaves u alone! ok now the stuffs. i've been ok!! i turned in this outline for a paper and added like a disclaimer i'm adhd/autistic and asked a LOTTT of questions and clarification. so don't judge me mrs professor. but then she said my outline was one of the most thorough she'd ever seen🥺😭 i could've died right then. went grocery shopping bc my friends mom is getting knee surgery and it will be hard for her to go after. got my favorite popcorn ever but its the wrong flavor. or maybe they changed it idk. i'm mad as hell tho. its a huge bag it was like $7......um let's see.... i've like completely stopped watching youtube... idk what's wrong with me but its just not doing it for me recently! did i post saying my mom DID get covid or DIDNT? bc she told me she might have it. but then she didn't have it and then like a week later said she did. so i might've posted abt both. boo. i'm trying so hard not to think about it. lastly... this is gonna make me sound like a pampered weirdo but since my friends mom is gettin knee surgery me and my friend are gonna have to do chores right? i can do laundry fine, i'd been meaning to try and help more with that anyway. but also i guess idk how to use their machine and that makes me nervous. but the DISHES. the godforsaken dishes. noooooooo. nonononono. when i was living with my like bio family that was the one chore i never had to do because i would start screaming crying feeling the wet food on the plates. urgh. i think that's the worst sensory thing i've ever experienced. i help put them away but the actual cleaning? even just rinsing them to put in the dishwasher? ❌. anyway idk i was feeling bad abt it today bc we really dont help her out enough around the house. but i guess we are also both disabled and chronically ill.... i still feel bad tho. after the surgery we will do more and i hope even after she recovers we keep helping her out. i used to put the dishes away and split them w my friend but i ended up doing them all most of the time so i got kicked out of the job💀😭

[identitycris1s]

im back

hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...

work / school (?)

work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY

and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.

sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:) 

anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??

idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i  think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.

ermmm relationships...???

i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)

i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??

for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?

anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))

but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.

i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh 

on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice  and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.

i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.

on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....

anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!

EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes. 

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee

Amy A

Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 

Olivia A

Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!

Aimee

I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Pedro A

when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point

Sarah

Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 

Kalle N.

Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next

Najwah

If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 

Aimee

Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 

Aimee

Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Sarah

Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA

Pedro A

Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?

Pedro A

okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL

Najwah

I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy

Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 

Najwah

I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 

Maddison

Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!

Pedro A

Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol

Aimee

I chopped Pedro for Grae. 

I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...

Aimee

Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv

Najwah

I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 

Aimee

Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 

Pedro A

I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!

Najwah

I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 

Amy A.

So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 

Maddison

Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!

Aimee

https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈

[tinkdw]

Oh, I'm sorry! I was just poking fun I wasn't trying to hurt anything. I love Cas, and I really love that Dabb is right there with us in how important he is to the story, while not letting the story itself become sidetracked because of his love of Cas. Because you can have both. I don't know how to make it up to you, you're a cool person and I apologize. If I had any fluff, I'd give you all the fluff.

Oh no don’t worry I know you didnt mean it badly! :D I just genuinely have seen so much wank exactly like this that automatically I assume when it’s that strong that it’s wank. You might think its OBVIOUS that it’s sarcastic and yeah, I’d usually agree, but I have just seen so much wank that is totally nonsensical and ridiculous exactly like this that I just ... urgh. The nonsensical crap like dean doesnt give a shit about cas, you’re delusional, he would never let sam get hurt whilst in this same episode he doesnt give a crap about jack hurting him or sam because he’s so done and thats a huge fucking POINT the show is trying to make and if they’re missing that we r only going to get more wank aimed at us as we squeal as it gets stronger, people still comparing dean’s love for cas/sam like theyre not totally fucking different, wanking on the writers, wanking on the showrunner, wanking on us for enjoying the show, wanking on stuff that hasn't even happened yet re: Cas/Lucifer deal, no-one apologising for wanking about sam not having emotional stuff in 13x01 because it wasn’t in the promos yet it was big in the actual episode just as some of us tried to help people like sad anons feel better about in the lead up. The jared/shatner/pellegrino wank, passive aggressive wank at my posts from others, being told im an asshole for enjoying the episodes where cas is dead for his personal growth and all the exposition...

I mean I’ve had it all and NOT sarcastically just in the last few days after 13x01 was such a HIGH.

Anyway sorry for the rant, it’s just exhausting and so defeating when I am so happy about things and want to come to tumblr to exchange happy thoughts and enjoy it and then just get bombarded with wank too. Don’t worry I’m just glad you said it was sarcastic at the end :) Hug! X

[irockmountains]

In which I post my Graduate Thesis er, The Last Jedi post-watching rumblings SO MANY WORDS SORRY (Also, spoilers!)

OK, LET US TALK ABOUT THIS. I woke up at 5:30am (the earliest in like, a year) and left the house at 7:00am to make my 8am screening when it was freaking 2degrees outside, ok. I dont really know, I was excited and I wanted to see which way the story will go..

And here it goes.

Why am I disappointed??

Before all the negativity, let's start with the parts I loved:

ADAM DRIVER. I'm sorry, I liked man-child Kylo from TFA and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Great performance. Clap clap clap. I was trying to enumerate the scenes I loved and damn, it was all of Kylo's scenes hahaha. I loved his scenes with Rey. I do have a problem with the freaking LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP he and Rey had lol (This is like Force-sensitive LDR Skype. Put some clothes on, Ben.) It was hilarious. But Kylo, Rey and Snoke's confrontation was electric. (More on this later) Kylo and Hux were hilarious, too. #Kylux ftw. And that scene with Luke AAAAAH. You precious man-child. I love it.

Another precious bb is POE DAMERON, who is just one cool son of a bee this movie. Why is he so awesome? I loved his mutiny. I loved his jacket. I love his irrational relationship with BB8. I am still waving the #FinnPoe flag urgh. Poe should be Supreme Chancellor instead. Also I love his dynamics with Leia.

Aaah, Leia. Aaaah. Luke. I think we all know who will die in the final movie! HEH. Leia is amazing as always. I cackled when she Forced her way back to the ship (but what about the small space debris? Me, the nerd. #PlotArmor) But I cackled more when she stunned poor mutinous Poe. She is so cool and I miss Carrie Fisher. I hope they do her justice for Episode IX.

I wish we got to spend more time with Luke. But maybe the new canon will fill in the gaps. I love how he went though, like Rey said: in peace and purpose. That whole showdown with Kylo was amazing. At times, I didn't see Luke though, I saw Mark Hamill, like when he winked at Kylo or when he was milking that creature in Ach-to. I'll miss Mark terribly, I hope he's still around for the last film. (I mean, Yoda was!)

I am kinda upset with myself that I still hoped that Kylo will return to the Light side, urgh. That was one rollercoaster clusterfuck. I really hoped he would when he killed Snoke, but noooo. (BTW Me when he was sliced in half: IF MAUL TAUGHT ME ONE THING?! HE CAN SURVIVE hahaha!) Even when he was bombarding Luke in Crait, even when he thought he sliced him in half, I still believed. It's like he was made to make us believe in the impossible, lol. I thought he was irredeemable when he killed Han, but all his hesitations make me believe otherwise, and I just don't know. It's like this move didn't help one bit.

I love love love Rose. I like it that she's a nobody. Not from some famous planet or family. Just a technician. She shines in her scenes. Speaking of nobodies, Rey is apparently a nobody. I could feel the scriptwriters inserting that with emphasis, “Your parents are drunk nobodies, no one important! And they’re dead!” “You don’t belong in this story” aka she is not a Skywalker or Kenobi, haha.

I admit, I saw TFA with StarWars-colored glasses. I was so happy it's back. I admit it had flaws, which made me hate it for a while, but looking back I kinda appreciate it for what it was meant to do. It ticked all the boxes.

For TLJ, I was impatient at times. I kept looking at my watch? (Or maybe that's because I had to go to work right after?) Some parts felt slow and dragging. I thought okay, that's fine, maybe there's a big pay-off. But I waited and it felt like, ugh.. There was no pay-off. We're still as confused as ever.

It felt like a TV Show episode.. Continuing VII and passing it over to IX. Some of the arcs were useless-- like Finn and Rose in Canto Bight and the destroyer, to turn off the tracker, which was useless.. what the hell was that for? I had high hopes for Benicio del Toro's character, but what was his point? I do hope there's some hidden stuff in there that will prove important later on (like the Force-sensitive kid).

For all the omniscience Snoke showed, why da eff didnt he see that coming?? HAHAHA. That was a good risk to take, though. So Kylo is now Supreme Leader.. *strokes imaginary beard*

They burned my ships but they also built new ones. I like the vibe that POE AND REY had when they met. FINN and ROSE! But Kylo is joining this love hexagon! LOL.

Holdo was great. I love how she annoyed us, then she was such a big hero. But I really wished they didn't have to introduce so many characters, because it's giving us a GoT-like situation where it's hard to keep up. Also, we haven't even gotten to know better the people introduced to us in TFA, and the stakes.. like, I wonder if the people around me even knew what the hell the First Order is.

In a sense, TLJ made me excited for Episode IX, because the movie did make me excited for what will happen next because, er, nothing happened in this one. HAHA. Maybe I need to re-watch it to better digest it lol.

[charles-rxwlands]

Episode 7 and 8!!

(I decided to combine all my yelling into one post because i just realised the spam i was producing)

Who's this?? Random girl?? Is she someone who appears in R&R? Was she his girlfriend or something?

NO NO NOT LUDA

Oh my god- The darkling- he's so broken im just 😭😭😭

Oh nvm he just killed lots of people

Bagnra and The Darkling's relationship oh god THE DARKLING GODDAMNIT IM UNDECIDED ABOUT HIM ALL OVER AGAIN CAUSE OF THIS FLASHBACK

oh shit he's using the merzost

wait omg he's creating the fold?? and the fjerdan sodeirs are the volcra??

BRO THE SHADOW FOLD IS SO COOL

INEJ IS MY WIFE SHE IS SO STRONG I LOVE HER

THE JESPER AND INEJ FRIENDHSIP IS JUST- IT'S GONNA MAKE ME CRY-

Me to my mom: *sigh* oh, if only Alina was actually the one-

My mom: nO- DON'T-

OH MY HHASJWJJEJWW JUST KILL THE STAG PLS-

OH MY GOD MAL-? THE DARKLING-? NO? GO AWAY? STOP?

THE SCRIPTWRITERS REALLY HAD TO CREATE AN ENTIRE JEW WORLD OF PAINL DIDNT THEY? IN THE BOOK THE DARKLING JUST KILLED IT LIKE THAT BUT HERE?? WHY ALL THE TENSION?? WHY ALL THE SCREAMING?? AAAAAAAAA

inej, kaz, my children, i cant, why, kaz pls say more, kaz why would you, kAZ PLS SAY MORE, COME ON KAZ YOU CAN FIX THIS, KAZ NO COME ON, YES KAZ YES KAZ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD THIS IS JUST- I LOVE?? KAZZZZZZZ INEJJJJ AAAAAHSHWHWJUSIWIS IM CRYING I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

oh the scary collar

alina im so sorry

the collar is actually terrifying wow-

honestly im kinda in love with every character in this shoa

oh no this is the end bit of book s&b where alina is forced to do the thing with the fold on god no no no

Jesper, Inej, and Kaz LOVE EACH OTHER I can tell their dynamic is amazing

"Fine, make me your villian." THAT ICONIC LINE

ALINA AND THE CROWS- SAME PLACE- AAAAASHHHJISOWOSKDNEWOHMYGOD

NO MOURNERS NO FUNERALS HELL YEAH

RHE CROWS ARE IN THE FOLD OH GOD PLEASE NO

Nooo Matthias pls dont leave Nina :( I love them so muchhhh

OH MY GOD FEDYOR PLS JUST LEAVE NINATTHIAS BE

BE NICE TO MAL PLS

COME ON INEJ I BELIEVE IN YOU BEAT THAT MAN

HELL YES INEJ I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

YES KAZ DEFEND INEJ WE LOVE YOU

WAITWAITWAIT THIS IS THE PART WHERE ALINA LEARNS TO WORK WITH THE STAG YES YES YES

ALINA I LOVE YOU YOU ARE AMAZING

THIS FIGHT BETWEEN MAL AND THE DARKLING HHHHHHHHHH

MAL MAL MAL PLS PLS PLS YES YES YSS AJAJSWJJSHWHSHWH AAAAA OH MY-

PLEASE ALINA COME BACK FOR MAL PLS OH MY IM- I CANT DO THIS URGH ALINA YES YES YES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH

Im here for the Inej and Alina and the Mal and Jesper friendship

YES burn the kefta!!

Kaz really be giving advice on looking for the dead hih 👀👀

"I need you" YES KAZ WE'RE GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO CANON KANEJ

NOOO WE'RE BACK AT SQUARE ONE WITH NINATTHIAS IM BROKEN

NINA NINA AHSHJEJEJE YES YES YES SHE'S JOINING THE CROWS

AAAAHHHH THIS ENDING IS PERFECT IT'S HEARTBREAKING BUT SO FULFILLING

OH- ARE THOSE THE NICHEVO-YA?

The ending just. I'm gonna need a full month to cope with the ending of this. I want season 2 and I want it now

Doing a live watch or whatever of SAB!

WARNING: SHADOW AND BONE TV SHOW SPOILERS AHEAD

im sorry but the first thing i have to mention is that ive been mispronouncing ‘grisha’ the entire time- 

but also this is really cool?? and im hooked?? LIKE IT’S JUST AMAZING JWDXGWE I CANT IM IN LOVE. and poor alinaaa i wanna hug her :(((