#Sorry HC this is just too funny.

[csilla-nocturne]

OMG Can you imagine an AU where Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are already married before Xie Lian's third ascension. Despite Hua Cheng's best efforts Xie Lian found out about the cave of 10,000 gods, but he's managed to distract Xie Lian from actually going to see it for at least a few centuries.

After every thing that happens Hua Cheng knows he can't keep it from happening anymore. It's even worse that Mu Qing and Feng Xin end up in the cave with them. Xie Lian is just having the time of his life unable to decide which statue is his favorite, while Fengqing silently freak out, and Hua Cheng tries not to die of embarrassment.

[ouaw-facts-i-just-made-up]

Whenever the Krew settles down to actually hang up their adventuring days for good (or until something really funny happens), they each go get real actual jobs, if the carnival doesn't start back up that is.

Kremy opens his own restaurant. A casino would have been more fun but. Bad memories. Plus he really doesn't wanna be run out of this town, he *bought* a *house*. He's staying until it burns down, which is unfortunately likely when you live with a fire genasi. His restaurant is his little baby, much like the carnival (but much more legally done, to his dismay). It's actually quite popular.

Gideon likes doing more physical labor, and working with his hands. He briefly considered being a bodyguard for some uptight rich folk, but it felt like a slight betrayal to Kremy, as irrational as that is. He either lends a hand at a local farm or works at a machine/item repair shop. Who needs a dumb artificer when you have Gideon.

Gricko and Frost both start a little farm themselves. Nothing big, sort of like the kind you'd see in a backyard. They take odd jobs sometimes too, Gricko taking on the "help!! There's a big animal in a place we don't want them" jobs (mostly convincing the animal to move to a safer, less humanoid populated forest), and Frost does the ones that are more like your average "I need help repairing my item" or "can someone help me with my fucking taxes please I'm scared" jobs.

Torbek finds a job similar to Gideon's, though he mostly prefers the physical labor ones. Easier to learn, and he's used to helping with stuff around the carnival so he's great at it. He's just happy there's no possibility of falling off a really tall Ferris Wheel now

Hootsie gets to sit at home and chill. Preferably the home base is near a forest so she can go explore. Every once in a while she helps Gricko with his tasks, or helps Frost by being a rather large therapy dog for people who *really* hate taxes. She's enjoying life

[levemetal]

Dual calamities Qijiu AU save me.... save me Dual Calamity Qijiu...

Yes they are wearing each other's former coats/outer layer and tons of matching accessory and garment pieces why do you ask

Details under the cut/Rambling ahead

Dual calamities AU, post pidw. SJ kills himself on the shards of Xuan Su by swallowing them. Qijiu end up entwined into one ghost amalgamation, their combined regrets hatred spite and resentment and everything creating a nearly supreme/calamity level ghost. They go off indiscriminately murdering in the demon realm in a mindless unaware rampage, consuming ghosts and demons alike and becoming stronger until they are strong enough to be aware once more.

Luo Binghe becomes aware of the new calamity too late, due to his distraction with the Bingge vs Bingmei extra happenings, and ends up regretting it as he fails to catch up to them time and time again, despite attempting to chase down the new calamity that slaughtered half the demons in a mindless rage.

It could go down the Bingqijiu path or be simply Qijiu retreating somewhere to live in peace. Maybe being annoyed later on by Hua Cheng and/or He Xuan, maybe even Bai Wuxiang once. They kick Qi Rong off a mountain once, when he comes to annoy them for the title only to prove that is not a calamity (unfortunately for him, ily stinky green ghost). SJ is gonna have the time of his life roasting his ass. Qi Rong will leave both in pieces and tears.

Their only disadvantage really is that they cannot seperate too much, physically. But I imagine after being in each other's brains after the soul merge they don't particularly care to be (nor would they want to be. This is Qijiu we're talking about.) It's Qijiu's codependant dream. Xuan Su sewed them together and actually they are very very codependant and possessive after everything so this is just fine. They probably even have a Xuan Su blood weapon, that heeds both their commands and calls. While fighting they synchronise, with YQY being the strength and SJ the brains.

I imagine YQY is able to conjure the arrows that pierced him as spiritual projectiles, and SJ chains that bound him in the water prison. Their strength was cultivated by absorbing and devouring other ghosts and demons.

@ace-shenanigans came up with the lovely title "jade dragon stalks bamboo" which is a much better title than I could ever hope to come up with. Thank you for listening to my mad ramblings

I've been wanting to draw and think on this for a while, of how grotesque to make the initial ghost + the later higher cultivation form. But basically the kiln and everything would count them as one ghost, probably a dual title too. They'd be like a myth amongst the realms, retreating to a comfortable mountain peak with bamboo, occassionally off to hunt down slavers.

[berryblu-soda]

[neolxzr]

AND EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

(inspired by this post btw youre a genius op)

[everythingwasnormalhere]

Do you like to see Cartman being (rightfully) wacked?

Then this is the fic for you!

[pbnmj]

Genuinely curious, what’s up with Noir’s age? And what does it have to do with his 08/09 run? ((You may ignore if you wish :D))

i no longer have to do an extremely long explaination about comics noir because it has already been done here, by foolsocracy!!!!!!! really great breakdown of his very vague age, which is never said outright in the 08-09 run, only implied!! my own personal take on this is that he's 17-turning-18 in the first one, just about graduated high school but not able to afford college (see the panel below LOL)

this also got a little longer than i thought it would, so under the cut for the rest of it! the tl:dr is "itsv!noir is not the same as comics!noir, and people saying that he's 19 isn't strictly true. to me, he's around 30!"

eyes without a face (the 09 run!!) only takes place 8 months after, in september 1933, which makes peter 18-turning-19. this is more of a headcanon though!! (see the noir birthday poll, which made me a noir-is-a-december-baby truther)

(peter being a libra is mentioned once in the first issue of amazing spider-man (2015), mostly as a punchline, and a specific date of october 10th was given in another issue that i have lost. other media, like with the mcu, has his birthday on august 10th. but to me noir is a sagittarius and you cannot pry that from me)

the 2020 run of noir begins establishing the year as 1939, making peter around his mid-20s, and 25 if you believe me on the 'peter was 17 in noir 2008' LOL.... i won't lie though i haven't read this one properly i very quickly skimmed so pinch of salt regarding my takes on the 2020 run

noir being in his teens during the first original runs is why "itsv!noir is 17-19" goes around so often! i've seen that on tumblr, twitter AND on tiktok and i don't mind what people hc, but it has become a pet peeve when people say it like its canon even though it's never been mentioned by the writers or the art book. itsv!noir is similar to his comic counterpart, but his differences in his origin story make me interpret him as a different noir (like how peter b.'s dimension is 616B, making him... 90214B?)

again, we are straying from itsv canon/etc here because i'm deranged, but i personally hc noir as being 32! some of my friends think he's in his mid-20s, others think he's older, but really the only reason is that 32 is the midpoint between the other two peter parkers: ripeter was 26 and peter b is 38. he's also voiced by nic cage, which makes me think older in the first place!

i just like the idea that he's more experienced that ripeter, but hasn't gone through as much as peter b. he spends most of the movie being broody ("moral ambiguity of your actions!", "matches burn down to my fingertips", etc etc), or snarkier than you'd expect ("it's that easy" "who are you again?" "you gonna fight or are you just bumping gums" etc etc). he also very sweetly tells everyone that he loves them before he leaves !!! i feel like it can in fact be in character for a peter parker in his late 20-early 30s, distanced from his tragedies in his own world by time (he doesn't forget them, that's different !) being able to look out for the spiders around him.

okay now we are VERY deep into hc territory, but it makes him able to balance out the rest of the itsv spider-gang as an older-brother figure who's able to guide peni, miles and gwen but also be able to act as a voice of reason for peter b. and ham if the sitauation calls for it. that being said noir is still peter parker and is therefore capable of spider-esque tomfoolery, which can lead to him misjudging the need for a snarky one liner ("this is a pretty hard core origin story"). my characterisation of him is also very inspired by heyitsspiderman, the itsv fic that changed me for the better, and noir isn't even in it that much LOL

veering back into itsv!noir's age and your actual question though: he's always read older in the movies, and not at all 17-19. noir is always going to be around 30 (32 if i have to give a number) to me!! if anything, he did go through the same kind of 'canon events' as comics noir did, but is an older and more experienced version of him, with tweaks to the backstory (like a radioactive spider instead of a spider-god, and webshooters instead of organic webbing). there are reasons ofc to see him being younger (egg creams are non-alcoholic, and that if it's 1933, his comicsverse self would be 18-19 too) . however you must consider that sony didn't expand on this and therefore it's up to fan interpretation and also that

[coridallasmultipass]

(( Inspired by the "Aphids" comic bc the dj bro panel had me cryin: https://www.tumblr.com/coridallasmultipass/746888021783298048?source=share ))

Probably went overboard editing this and trying to add emoji subtext, telling a story, you know the deal. Also, the needles evoke a Saw 2 vibe for me, but that's awesome. I'm all about that unsettling mind game shit (not pictured, but I have a spiral on my tongue piercing bead, because I'm dedicated to the aesthetic). Speaking of spirals, yes, that is a Kamina keychain on my phone. In fact, I have all four main characters danglin' off that motherfucker. Shit's heavy, but no pain, no gain. Gotta keep these strifin' fingers in shape, brah. Anyways. I got the green stuff, so hit me up.

[b00m-b0mb]

Something really funny that's occurred to me is the way Joe talks about Maccie is like she's some catastrophic event that happened to their family "I can't believe she's been here that long." / "Everything's been different since she was born" / "Everything changed." / "She changed everything."

And it's just rlly funny to me. I want to up the dramaticness of his words at some point. And anyway, he's talking to the Samurai/Ronin for the first time and I'm wondering the impression he's getting lmao

Joe is certainly expressive to me, but only when he's given the chance. And I think w Ronin, he just started letting a lot of stuff out bc thus guy is gonna go on his way anyways.. but then he's like wait!!! Actually let me go?? For a little? (Platonic yearning so bad)

Ronin like 》^. "I suppose.. Alright, curious karate man, I'll accompany you a little longer."

Or something I'm messing around UGH

[akuma-tenshi]

florias artists who draw florian as taller than matthias are fucking weak give me the short golden retriever and tall black cat dynamic goddammit /lh

[kandibatz]

radford making ponysonas for him + rick and drawing them doin gay pony stuff like holding hooves or something idk

[joculatrixster]

well i for one hope you get people who commission you your art is based and awesome

🥺ty, god im jjsut in a weird mood today im sorry mutuals but tysm for sayign this its rlly sweet 😭

[doubleedgemode]

There's a post that explains it way better than I do but. I'm currently thimking about A.B.As frankenstein influence

Aside from the obvious "concept art refs frankenstein by name, so one could assume the head key worked as her electrodes/bolts" I don't see many people mention how her strive boots are black platforms a la creature's movie depiction's (roadworker if I'm not mistaken?? I probably am) boots. Also yknow they have lil bolts

[jesse-cosay]

Had another thought (rare indeed)

What if Lake used mirror pronouns,,, they don't know the name at first and just explain it and Jesse in stereotypical neurodivergent fashion does some digging and is like, "Great news! You aren't alone! :D But uh. Bad news.... This is what it's called."

I can't decide if the grand irony of it would make them incredibly angry or if they'd laugh till they passed out but the response would be big and it's amazing to think abt

[moe-broey]

Before I post anything else actually I have a VERY IMPORTANT PSA

(context, Alfonse and Sharena are Emblems here and it's a continuation of another goofy thing I made featuring them w this AU)

Transcript under cut!

Emblem AU

Sharena: "ALFONSE you ASSHOLE"

(scribbly and jagged "Huh?!" from Alfonse)

Sharena: "AS OF gen 7, Flareon AND Salazzle are the only fully evolved Fire Types who can't learn Solar Beam!!"

(Dialogue outside of talk bubbles) Alfonse: "DAMN it!! A grave oversight..." (BONK effect as Sharena punches him) "do you HATE women Alfonse?!" Alfonse "What!! No!!"

Alfred: "THIS is BLATANT Incineroar erasure!!!"

Céline, in rambling text: "also recent additions are Cinderace and interestingly enough Ceruledge -- its counterpart Armarouge can, meanwhile Ceruledge learns Solar Blade via move reminder"

Bullet point reads: *Physical counterpart to Solar Beam, introduced with Lurantis

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

3, 6, 14, 15, and 20

uhhhhh i'll just do these 3 b/c i've been thinking abt them lately

3. have they died before? as it currently stands, spencer's dead dead yeah and not coming back, lucian is also dead (stuck as undead in his main timeline and while he might've suffered a less terrible death in other ones he still is probably dead in those). in aurelio's case they tried to execute him but it didn't work so i don't know if that counts as a death technically? don't know if he's completely immortal either but he survived the execution so that's gotta count for something lmaoo?

6. what's their greatest fear? aurelio's is loneliness and i think lucian's would be death; at the moment i can't think of one for spencer but? i suppose fearing consequences would be very fitting for him.

14&15. are they trans? / are they neurodivergent? up to interpretation.

20. will they recover from their trauma or will it consume them? i actually think, given enough time after the main story events, aurelio might, eventually. but the whole point of spencer & lucian's storylines is that, no they dont lol: i'd say their stories focus on the effects of not allowing yourself to move on from your trauma and fixating on it to the dangerous point of destroying everything around you and yourself (ESPECIALLY in lucian's). there is the small chance that maybe in one alternate timeline lucian does actually somewhat recover in some part, but for his main timeline nah