#Soos is Too Used to This Shit

[stupidvillainousposts]

If I wrote something with this plot line, would y'all like it?

It's a seemingly normal fall day in Gravity Falls. Soos and Melody are running the Mystery Shack enthusiastically, and have no reason to believe anything will go wrong.

At sea, Stan and Ford are enjoying their days together and catching up with each other without a care in the world.

Late that night, Stan gets a frantic call which wakes him up from his sleep quite suddenly.

"MR. PINES! MR. PINES!" Soos shouts frantically, sounding on the verge of a panic attack. "YOU HAVE TO COME BACK! IT'S INSANE HERE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!"

"Soos, you won't believe it when I hang up and ignore any calls for the next week." Stan doesn't mean it, he's just tired and still recovering from the brief shock.

Knowing that Stan won't actually hang up or ignore him, Soos continues: "It's absolutely insane! Melody and me were just sleeping and all of a sudden there's a WHOOSH! And a POW! And a BUH-BOOM! And when I went to go see what it was with your bat-"

"You broke into my safe and snatched my favorite bat?!"

"Mr. Pines, this is serious! No time for side stories!"

Stan sighs and rolls his eyes, going quiet to let Soos continue.

"So when I go to look, I was expecting something normal, like a gnome or a two headed deer-"

"Yes, both very normal creatures."

"I know! But this was crazier!" Soos pauses for dramatic effect before continuing. "It was a WEREWOLF!"

Stan sits in silence for a moment, blinking as if it will help him understand what he was just told. "There was a werewolf..."

"WEREWOLVES?! WHERE?!" Ford screams, launching up from his half-sleep and instantly honing in on the currently one-sided conversation.

"Soos says he saw a werewolf after hearing weird noises." Stan grumbles, putting his phone on speaker and handing it to Ford before laying back down. "Try to keep quiet. I'm old and need sleep."

Ford is practically vibrating with excitement at this point. "What did it look like? Shaggy? Intimidating? Was it acting erratic? Come on, Soos! Details!"

"Well, I'd have to say 'no' to the first two questions, but the last one is a solid yes." Soos replies, letting out an odd noise, which was accompanied by the sound of cloth shifting and annoyed grumbling. "Which I guess makes sense. I'd be acting crazy too if I looked like Mr. Pines with a mullet."

Both twins share a shocked look, one confused and the other almost... fearful?

"Soos, what the hell are you talking about?" Stan asks, now more awake than before.

"Well, I just got a glimpse before Melody and I managed to get help from Old Man McGucket of all people. He's sitting next to the Stan-wolf and keeping him calm." Soos explains. "Thank goodness, we almost died!" The nervous chuckle Soos lets out with his words sounds oddly calm for the situation, especially considering the man's words.

By this point, Stan was sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning over and staring at the floor with an indiscernable expression, whilst Ford was pacing and sweating.

"Soos, how is Fiddleford keeping the Wolfman calm?" Ford asks, as if that was the most pertinent information.

"Well, we tried chaining the Stan-wolf up first, but then he broke the chains so we tried luring him into a cage; boy, did he hate that!" Soos chuckles again, quickly veering off track.

"SOOS! FOCUS!" Ford screams, grunting as Stan elbows him. "Sorry. Just... can you answer the question directly?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry Mr. Ford. I guess the best way to describe it is that McGucket is just... petting him?" Soos sounds conflicted with his own explanation, still unable to believe the sight. "The guy's sitting on the ground and letting Stan-wolf lay on him like a pillow."

"Can we stop calling it a 'Stan-wolf', please?" Stan grouches, arms crossed and nose crinkled in distaste.

"What else would I call him?" Soos asks, sounding genuinely intrigued.

"Let's call 'im Doug!" Fiddleford suggests, cackling as the werewolf that was practically keeping him hostage whined and nibbled on his nose. "I reckon ya don't like that much, do ya Stanley?"

"Okay, this is too weird, I'm going outside." Stan huffs, hating how he could feel a blush appear on his face.

"It's storming like hell out there!" Ford points out, trying to find anything to distract himself from the odd situation. 30 years of dimension hopping couldn't even begin to prepare the genius for something like this.

"Good! Maybe I'll get hit by lightning or eaten by a huge lobster!" Stan shouts back as he left the cabin.

Ford hums, mulling over the situation in stock silence.

"Uhh, Mr. Ford? Are you still there?" Soos asks, shuddering as his question gains the Stan-wolf's attention. "I think this guy is hungry..."

"Soos, worry not. Stanley and I will be over there as quickly as possible!" Ford promises, ignoring Stan's "Wait, what?" in favor of rushing towards the ship's complex steering panel. "We'll figure out what's happening and deal with the situation easily!"

"Wait, but Mr. Ford, are you sure that's a-"

"Absolutely! Now just make sure the monster doesn't get too hungry! He may try to eat Fiddleford’s eyes as a snack." Ford hangs up before he can get a response, smiling sheepishly as his brother joins him. "Ready to go on another adventure?"

Stan groans, knowing that he wouldn't be getting out of this even if he said no. "We're getting too old for this."

"OFF TO ADVENTURE!"

[eighteenthofoctober]

There is no price he won't pay

[p4nishers]

no really ALL im saying is if aziraphale was infront of ME and me only and even gave me a smallest amount of attention i would've already confessed right there. wouldn't have taken me 5 minutes let alone 6000 YEARS. nuh uh. especially if he slutted me out while dressed like THAT in 1793 or rizzed me up in 1941. i may be oblivious but im not dumb as fuck and i would've taken THE FUCKING HINT. unlike SOMEONE. ugh if only i was in crowley's place this shitshow wouldn't have taken more than aziraphale's eyelashes to flutter once and i'm done for the wedding is already in full swing oh lookie here a priest appeared completely out of nowhere how odd how mysterious!! anyway we must not waste this opportunity let's just get over w it for completely normal regular reasons YEP!! nothing to see here just a perfectly regular every day wedding !! like come on man atp u gotta blame urself for wasting opportunities like that

[npdkondraki]

anyone else noticed just how good food is. you guys have got to get in on this shit its kind of bangin

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 287

“Bleh,” Danny stuck his tongue out, nose scrunching at the taste of blood. “Ma’ nose ‘s bleedin’!” he complained, utterly offended that it had been from ducking into a wall and not something like a fight. But also incredibly concerned about how dripping blood everywhere meant dripping literal poison. 

Jordan snorted and Vlad cursed under his breath, a napkin already in his claws. Curse these tinier bodies, but at least it was better than being a toddler. But they were still so fragile compared to how he’d been at 14 that it was annoying! 

And okay, they didn’t have a lot of choices being on the run, but still. Could be worse with how close their cores had come to cracking. They could have shattered instead of both halves bleeding across to the other. 

And look he’d never thought he’d be on the run with Vlad and Dan and Ellie but… He didn’t want to think about it. Danny grumbled as his face was wiped, but it was better than leaving traces of their presence, crime-ridden area or no. 

Ancients this was a mess. They were all exhausted and injured and had already fled across several states, backtracking and leading false trails when they could. They hadn’t eaten much, not gotten a chance to besides what they could steal on the way, avoiding any sort of cameras or being spotted in general.

“Ellie ‘s hungry,” Dan spoke up, practically tattling on their now-younger sister who had gotten in the habit of not mentioning when she was, despite being the youngest and needing the most food of them all. And that was without even starting on her medical issues. 

Vlad cursed again under his breath, biting into his wrist. “Not too fast,” he grunted as crimson ecto dripped from the wound. Ellie latched on immediately with her own grumble, glaring at Dan before she did. The oldest halfa half picked her up onto his hip, motioning the both of them closer. 

“Both of you too,” his voice was no-nonsense, the one that promised that he would force-feed them ecto so they didn’t collapse again, despite it only happening once. Stupid Vlad somehow actually being a good caretaker during this entire bullshit. 

[3416]

x com/joesnicky/status/1868753917515120960 “hockey twitter gif discourse again” and all the replies are twitter accounts going ITS JUST MOVING IMAGES ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS I COULD SEE THEM ON MY TV SCREEN. zerooo respect for gifmakers

oh i legit got into it a couple months back about that and had a whole bunch of 16 yr olds who have spent 0 time doing anything creative or productive for fandoms trying to ratio me abt it, so i just stopped posting my gifs on there like lol. good gifmaking will die out some day and everyone will have to stick with their blurry run-through-a-website shit or videos themselves, but i hate that account and everyone that's so catty abt people ~daring to ask for credit~ on smth they took the time to make like lol. the whole 'it's not your video.' well yeah no duh, the people who made it got PAID to do that. the least you could do for people who spend time and resources to make it accessible and fun to rewatch/look at for FREE is credit or not be a bitch but. twitter and even ppl on here these days are incapable of that. it's so goofy too bc on a platform like twitter... quotetweeting exists... so you can just. quote the initial person who made it with whatever joke you want to make or WHATEVER instead of saving and reposting. like it is SO stupid to me. every person who makes things gets that they don't Own the source material, but it's the right thing to do to credit ppl.

social media will eventually become just ppl talking at each other with 0 creativity or insight to add to anything bc they will run off creators of every kind. i see writers frustrated. i see fanartists frustrated. everyone's tired of the flippancy and entitlement bred on the internet these days. yeah gifmaking doesn't necessarily take As Long as other forms of fandom contribution (unless ur computer is a dinosaur like mine in which case it sometimes does), but it still is a set of skills and a process that most ppl don't know how/aren't willing to do to create an end product we can all enjoy without having to Save full videos of smth or go recall the whole game/video/whatever up. it's depressing to see and it will make me mad every time. the idea that the onus is on the creator and not just ppl to learn to be mindful of where they get shit like... you can tell who was raised on the better internet and who's brain is being morphed by this current wasteland.

[kiddokori]

eunyung baek goes off the grid in their mid twenties and haejoons like guys hes fine he’s unreachable all the time he’s probably on an impulse trip to europe or some crazy shit hes fine he’ll reach out he always does while at the same time frantically stalking all his socials to figure out where the hell eunyung went and calling people and getting with private investigators and then eunyung messages the group chat out of nowhere one day like “heyyyy im in france lmaoo sorry my phone died and i couldnt find the right charger in stores (˶◕‿◕˶✿)” and then haejoon puts a bounty on his head

[happyendingsong]

STARDOM ☆ 7.28.24 ☆ SAPPORO WORLD RENDEZVOUS mayu acts as wingman to help hanan pin tam

[simplydnp]

love spending $100 on merch i cant wear because they changed clothing suppliers and didn't say anything ://

[ragnars-tooth]

One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)

Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go

This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

Oh little people in my phone, we're really in it now 😔😔

[finn-shitposts]

I finally bit the bullet and quit my joooob !!! Now im gonna actually have time to rest and catch up on owed art and just fucjin sleep for 3 weeks

(And then scramble to find a job but thars for future me to worry abour)

[thevalicemultiverse]

What does Forgotten Vows think about Catch Us If You Can?

Forgotten Vows Victor: [looking at his counterpart] I'm -- I'm sorry, but -- I am glad that I didn't end up in Rutledge. That -- I didn't turn out like you.

Catch Us Victor: It's fine -- I'm glad you got a chance at a normal life. Or, well, as normal as our lives get.

Forgotten Vows Alice: [looking at her counterpart] I'm with my Victor that I'm glad I didn't have to go through some of the things you went through -- but I'm also glad that you're trying to make your London a safer place.

Catch Us Alice: [nodding back] If we can't have a nice domestic house in the countryside, we can at least make sure there won't be any more Bumbys preying on the children here.

[windupaidoneus]

pondering. how hilde felt picking up drk. one of emet's canon classes. did it feel familiar... did he feel some measure of embarrassment when he didn't perform well enough. when fray would get upset with him did he instinctively shut him down because he would expect someone else to nag. someone who he could not even begin to put a name or face on, it just feels like something... innate. this reflex to bite back defensively when he messes up while watched by someone more skilled than him in something. he's not prideful by nature but something within him just pushes him to have some sort of ego when it comes to this in particular

& how he felt when entering ktisis hyperboreia & here emet, "great sorcerer of eld", expected black mage, goes & conjures his weapon of choice for the occasion - a greatsword he's putting to use to protect his party members with the power of the darkness within, though he wouldn't readily admit to it

[darktetras]

Met people at the park today who I thought were cool af at first but I got humbled so bad after they left bc they were being shady as hell and I didn't pick up on it at all but my mom did

[kissingarthurclaus]

Also I watched A Knight's Tale the other night and ougghhh AU potential 🥺🥺🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖