#Soos is Too Used to This Shit

[stupidvillainousposts]

If I wrote something with this plot line, would y'all like it?

It's a seemingly normal fall day in Gravity Falls. Soos and Melody are running the Mystery Shack enthusiastically, and have no reason to believe anything will go wrong.

At sea, Stan and Ford are enjoying their days together and catching up with each other without a care in the world.

Late that night, Stan gets a frantic call which wakes him up from his sleep quite suddenly.

"MR. PINES! MR. PINES!" Soos shouts frantically, sounding on the verge of a panic attack. "YOU HAVE TO COME BACK! IT'S INSANE HERE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!"

"Soos, you won't believe it when I hang up and ignore any calls for the next week." Stan doesn't mean it, he's just tired and still recovering from the brief shock.

Knowing that Stan won't actually hang up or ignore him, Soos continues: "It's absolutely insane! Melody and me were just sleeping and all of a sudden there's a WHOOSH! And a POW! And a BUH-BOOM! And when I went to go see what it was with your bat-"

"You broke into my safe and snatched my favorite bat?!"

"Mr. Pines, this is serious! No time for side stories!"

Stan sighs and rolls his eyes, going quiet to let Soos continue.

"So when I go to look, I was expecting something normal, like a gnome or a two headed deer-"

"Yes, both very normal creatures."

"I know! But this was crazier!" Soos pauses for dramatic effect before continuing. "It was a WEREWOLF!"

Stan sits in silence for a moment, blinking as if it will help him understand what he was just told. "There was a werewolf..."

"WEREWOLVES?! WHERE?!" Ford screams, launching up from his half-sleep and instantly honing in on the currently one-sided conversation.

"Soos says he saw a werewolf after hearing weird noises." Stan grumbles, putting his phone on speaker and handing it to Ford before laying back down. "Try to keep quiet. I'm old and need sleep."

Ford is practically vibrating with excitement at this point. "What did it look like? Shaggy? Intimidating? Was it acting erratic? Come on, Soos! Details!"

"Well, I'd have to say 'no' to the first two questions, but the last one is a solid yes." Soos replies, letting out an odd noise, which was accompanied by the sound of cloth shifting and annoyed grumbling. "Which I guess makes sense. I'd be acting crazy too if I looked like Mr. Pines with a mullet."

Both twins share a shocked look, one confused and the other almost... fearful?

"Soos, what the hell are you talking about?" Stan asks, now more awake than before.

"Well, I just got a glimpse before Melody and I managed to get help from Old Man McGucket of all people. He's sitting next to the Stan-wolf and keeping him calm." Soos explains. "Thank goodness, we almost died!" The nervous chuckle Soos lets out with his words sounds oddly calm for the situation, especially considering the man's words.

By this point, Stan was sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning over and staring at the floor with an indiscernable expression, whilst Ford was pacing and sweating.

"Soos, how is Fiddleford keeping the Wolfman calm?" Ford asks, as if that was the most pertinent information.

"Well, we tried chaining the Stan-wolf up first, but then he broke the chains so we tried luring him into a cage; boy, did he hate that!" Soos chuckles again, quickly veering off track.

"SOOS! FOCUS!" Ford screams, grunting as Stan elbows him. "Sorry. Just... can you answer the question directly?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry Mr. Ford. I guess the best way to describe it is that McGucket is just... petting him?" Soos sounds conflicted with his own explanation, still unable to believe the sight. "The guy's sitting on the ground and letting Stan-wolf lay on him like a pillow."

"Can we stop calling it a 'Stan-wolf', please?" Stan grouches, arms crossed and nose crinkled in distaste.

"What else would I call him?" Soos asks, sounding genuinely intrigued.

"Let's call 'im Doug!" Fiddleford suggests, cackling as the werewolf that was practically keeping him hostage whined and nibbled on his nose. "I reckon ya don't like that much, do ya Stanley?"

"Okay, this is too weird, I'm going outside." Stan huffs, hating how he could feel a blush appear on his face.

"It's storming like hell out there!" Ford points out, trying to find anything to distract himself from the odd situation. 30 years of dimension hopping couldn't even begin to prepare the genius for something like this.

"Good! Maybe I'll get hit by lightning or eaten by a huge lobster!" Stan shouts back as he left the cabin.

Ford hums, mulling over the situation in stock silence.

"Uhh, Mr. Ford? Are you still there?" Soos asks, shuddering as his question gains the Stan-wolf's attention. "I think this guy is hungry..."

"Soos, worry not. Stanley and I will be over there as quickly as possible!" Ford promises, ignoring Stan's "Wait, what?" in favor of rushing towards the ship's complex steering panel. "We'll figure out what's happening and deal with the situation easily!"

"Wait, but Mr. Ford, are you sure that's a-"

"Absolutely! Now just make sure the monster doesn't get too hungry! He may try to eat Fiddleford’s eyes as a snack." Ford hangs up before he can get a response, smiling sheepishly as his brother joins him. "Ready to go on another adventure?"

Stan groans, knowing that he wouldn't be getting out of this even if he said no. "We're getting too old for this."

"OFF TO ADVENTURE!"

[eighteenthofoctober]

There is no price he won't pay

[p4nishers]

no really ALL im saying is if aziraphale was infront of ME and me only and even gave me a smallest amount of attention i would've already confessed right there. wouldn't have taken me 5 minutes let alone 6000 YEARS. nuh uh. especially if he slutted me out while dressed like THAT in 1793 or rizzed me up in 1941. i may be oblivious but im not dumb as fuck and i would've taken THE FUCKING HINT. unlike SOMEONE. ugh if only i was in crowley's place this shitshow wouldn't have taken more than aziraphale's eyelashes to flutter once and i'm done for the wedding is already in full swing oh lookie here a priest appeared completely out of nowhere how odd how mysterious!! anyway we must not waste this opportunity let's just get over w it for completely normal regular reasons YEP!! nothing to see here just a perfectly regular every day wedding !! like come on man atp u gotta blame urself for wasting opportunities like that

[npdkondraki]

anyone else noticed just how good food is. you guys have got to get in on this shit its kind of bangin

[starry-sophrosyne]

That draft and all the talk about the sugar au has me thinking of Sophist singing "Poison", and now I'm passing the brainrot to you :3.

MORE ANONS YIPPEE!!! ٩(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵๑)۶ And I can indeed confirm that I thought about "Poison" right after realizing the AD similarities to Escort Sophist, my only thing is that AD's voice is waayyyy too tenor (high pitched) and also pitchy(? dunno if thats the right word) for me to actually hear him singing it lmao-

Speaking of which, I can definitely imagine Leo filming himself with Sophist, not for public view or as he says, himself, but because he knows of Sophist's self loathing (explained in a drabble i have coming up). Sophist is popular in the business, but Leo's known that he's now/has been struggling to remain here, and throughout the years, his hold on him has also weakened. So instead, he lets him trap himself, constantly murmuring the scarlett letter effect/trope into his ears as they're filming.

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A salacious, honey-like voice, slithering in the air but murmuring expressions that are both cruel (in comparison to his voice) and coldly calculated. Leo had always been good with his voice, and in the moment, it was intoxicating, making the venom in his whisper made each word feel like a reminder, a statement, rather than a threat. Maybe it was the heat in the air, but it felt so suffocating, inescapable, like this undeniable truth.

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It's true that lust will blind and suffocate, but just as much does it distract and coalesce one into this deliberate softness, lowering one's guard subconsciously. It is enough to make the phrases cut into him like glass shards, but be too preoccupied for him to notice. Over time, the phrases gradually embed themselves into his heart, and it is through this that Leo manipulates Eevee. Coherent thoughts from the days before dissipating alongside the haze of lust, and without any recollection that these ideas are the result of/connected/linked back to Leo, his subconscious can only believe that these thoughts have been conjured by himself. As such, that idea becomes true, and in technicality, these thoughts have always been his own. It takes years, but slowly, Leo strengthens this idea of impossibility of a new future, a new life with acceptance without prejudice, while also advancing Sophist's previous insecurities to this self loathing. It matters not to him whether or not Sophist is insecure, eating away at himself in this self hatred, he just needs to be blinded. Blinded enough to stay. As long as his perspective is never opened, he'll always see the tall, looming wall in front of him, unclimbable; and disheartened, he will not attempt to leave. Any hope of that idea will be crushed, and he will be unable to see the truth that's really around him.

... That is, until he meets someone special.

[happyendingsong]

STARDOM ☆ 7.28.24 ☆ SAPPORO WORLD RENDEZVOUS mayu acts as wingman to help hanan pin tam

[nenoname]

.....ok it's legit wild to see people saying that emma may is unironically their fave character

[br1ghtestlight]

baseball and lightbulb are canon roommates at hotel oj and im always soo sad when people make lightbulb and paintbrush or nickel and baseball roommates in fanworks </3 like i already kinda explained why i dont think lightbrush would make good roommates but also. THEYRE ALREADY BEST FRIENDS. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS OK?? also fan and paintbrush and test tube and microphone as roommates is so funny to me too

i love their horrible fucked up elimination order randomized roommates i hope they keep them in post-canon even tho it probably isn't likely

[simplydnp]

love spending $100 on merch i cant wear because they changed clothing suppliers and didn't say anything ://

[ragnars-tooth]

One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)

Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go

This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.

[thevalicemultiverse]

What does Forgotten Vows think about Catch Us If You Can?

Forgotten Vows Victor: [looking at his counterpart] I'm -- I'm sorry, but -- I am glad that I didn't end up in Rutledge. That -- I didn't turn out like you.

Catch Us Victor: It's fine -- I'm glad you got a chance at a normal life. Or, well, as normal as our lives get.

Forgotten Vows Alice: [looking at her counterpart] I'm with my Victor that I'm glad I didn't have to go through some of the things you went through -- but I'm also glad that you're trying to make your London a safer place.

Catch Us Alice: [nodding back] If we can't have a nice domestic house in the countryside, we can at least make sure there won't be any more Bumbys preying on the children here.

[rexscanonwife]

Also I watched A Knight's Tale the other night and ougghhh AU potential 🥺🥺🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖

[blue-madd]

Made an AU for Ian and Naïl where they're called Jack and Eden bc why not

After the "barista x vet assistant" version, here's the "bass player x influencer" version~ (+ their lil apartment)

Plot was so simple : influencer finds himself at a concert and compliments the bass player for his skills who instantly becomes obsessed w him and casually starts crashing at his place

Also the apartment was made based on inspo I found on Pinterest so really no original idea for this one (I have never been so uninspired lmao)

[tenseparatist]

just found out one of the enhypen boys who i believed was 16 or summ is actually my age WTFFFF youre a 20 yr old minor tf are you doing in a kpop group you should be chilling and unwinding

[moonietrait]

hmm back in cas bc im giving into the voices telling me to try family gameplay...she is my smart girl studying 2 be a neuroscientist yay

[r3dblccd]

On a random Friday, you find this, wdyd?

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