#Someone get me some adderall
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theonetruegnome · 4 months ago
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Oh my god it's been like 4 days, I'm sorrryy, you must all be so mad at me, I'm sorry. But at the same time, I feel I am constantly churning out content and feel somewhat anxious about not pacing myself. I'm sure I have enough steam left to at least tie up any loose ends, so don't worry, the story will finish itself. But I just wanna know; Should I pick back up my old pace of 'one thing every day or so', or do you prefer waiting a few days? Feedback on this would be greatly appreciated. Anyway, enjoy the show!
There was complete silence following Conk's words. Eli was staring, mouth agape in shock, at the small figure. She was short, no doubt about that. She came barely up to her brother's midriff. Yet she seemed much larger than she actually was, due to the large amount of lilac downy feathers covering her whole body. The fluffy young feathers looked soft to the touch and worked to make her appear older and stronger than probably she was. The only parts of her body discernible from the plumage were her hands and the part of her face not hidden by her fringe. She wore a pair of faded booties with very heavily patched soles, as well as a deep purple scarf that was a bit too big for her, having been tied up several times so as not to appear ridiculous. Near her chin, sewn into the fabric, were the initials 'C.O Featherby'. The entire time they had seen her, her face wore the brightest smile any of them had seen, and that's coming from the group that frequently hung out with Callum!
The silence stretched on. Eli and Dandy were both blushing a prominent red. Mana had one hoof pressed against the bridge of her nose. Finally Eli spoke up.
'Conk, I am so sorry, I-I didn't know.'
'Eh, it's fine, these things happen.
'No, really, that was... That was just bad, we... Sorry...' 'Yeah, we shouldn't have assumed... Sorry' The elephant averted his eyes down to his feet while Dandy's cheeks went redder still.
'You guys apologise too much. I really don't mind, and I'm sure she doesn't, do you?' 'Whuh?' 'See?'
Eli gave a weak chuckle at the young hen's confusion, face clearing somewhat of the red incursion. Callum approached the chick and bent down to talk to her,
'So what's your name then little lady?' 'Chamomile!' 'Well, isn't that a pretty name! Do you like your name?' 'Uh-huh! What's your name?' 'My name's Callum.' 'Your name's pretty too!'
As Callum kept up the conversation, the rest approached the trio to get a better look at the fluffy little bean.
'So... You have a sister. That's new then?' 'Huh? Oh, no, she's three years and four months old now. Really *Yawn* Growin' up fast. Ahh.' 'What?! How can I only be finding out about this now? I've been to your house like a dozen times this year!' '*Streeetch!* I guess you're just not observant.' 'Conk, I have five siblings, two of which are younger sisters. I find that very unlikely.' 'And yet you didn't even notice the toddler that suddenly appeared in my house?' 'Says the guy who forgot my birthday two years in a row and told me a story to compensate.' 'You love my stories! And I didn't exactly hear you complaining when I said 'The End'.' 'I was passed out for the next eighteen hours, I didn't get a chance to complain.'
As Conk tries to answer, he's cut off;
'Alright, settle down, neither of you is perfect, we can agree on that. Let's just end it there.' 'Hey, why is she wearing your clothes?' 'Why do you ask?' 'It's just that it looks like you have a poorly-made Mini Me following you around. Nothing else.' 'They're hand-me-downs. She was so happy when she first got 'em she's never taken 'em off.' 'That can't be true!' 'Those are her clothes, P.Js and even her bath clothes. If they need a wash we have to sponge her down and huh- *Yawn* hang her outside to dry as well. She loves them that much.' '...Ok, that's the most adorable thing I've ever heard.'
Chamomile, having finished talking, toddles over, looks up at Conk and raises her arms above her head.
'Up! Up!'
'OhMyGod it got cuter.'
'*Snap!* This is one for the scrapbook!'
'Okay Chicklet, *Oof* uuuup we go!' Conk Groans like a middle-aged man with a bad back as he lifts his sister onto his shoulders. Next to the perfect little chick right next to him, the others notice for the first time how truly awful he looks. Feathers sticking up at odd angles, eyelids twitching, he's shaking like a leaf and his eyes are so bagged it looks like he's been punched in the face.
'Uhhh, Conk?' 'Huh? What's up?' 'What's up is that you look like the grim reaper. How long did you sleep last night?' 'I pretty much didn't, and now I can't tell if I'm dead or not. Which is why I'm going to be taking this little pickle home for a nap, she's too energetic.' 'Nooooo! I dun wanna sleep!' Chamomile tries to stand up and climb away from Conk's reach pulling on many feathers in the process. 'Oww! Ok, Cham, I'm going home to rest anyway and I should take you home for Mom and Dad's sake, they'll be worried sick about you. You're sweet for trying, but you can't just go toddling off looking for me when you miss me.' 'Bu' I Don't wanna sleep. I wanna play.'
'I mean, we could take care of her while you go home and sleep.'
Conk's head whips around to look at Sunny. 'What? No, not possible. Out of the question.' 'Why? We-' She glances over at Dandy, Eli and Mana. 'I am responsible enough to take care of her, so you can tell your parents that. And she won't be bored at all with Callum and Leah fussing over her.' Conk glances over at the two, who are looking at Chamomile like a pair of arsonists would look at a gas station. Okay, they'd all take good care of her, but... 'But, I'm her brother...' He stifled a yawn and rubbed his temples. God his head hurt. 'So? Nobody ever said she had to be looked after by a relative-' 'Gimme the baby!' 'Woah! Tone it down Callum! You're at a fourteen, we'd like you at like a four, max, ok?' 'Ok, sorry, I just got excited...' '...I... I guess you guys could hold onto her for a few minutes...' He gently lowered her to the ground and knelt down to speak to her face to face. 'Cham, you're going to stay with Sunny and the others for a while, ok? I'll be at home taking a nap. If you want to go home, just tell someone and they'll take you home, got it?' 'Otay! I love you!' 'I love you too Cham.' Conk gently kissed her on the forehead before letting go of her. As he trotted away, he looked back. Chamomile had wrapped herself around Leah's legs, the latter appearing to be experiencing cute-induced hysteria.
Conk slowly trudged the well-known path back home, forcing himself not to drop into nearby hedgerows and flower beds to pass out. Finally, he reached the Featherby family household. He stepped inside, mumbled to his parents where his sister was and that they shouldn't worry, and tucked himself into bed. A single thought swam to the forefront of his mind as his breathing slowed and his limbs went light. 'I must be the luckiest cockerel... in the world... To have... such good friends...' Finally he closed his eyes and entered the familiar folds of calm, numbing oblivion.
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tangledinink · 2 years ago
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if i gotta deal with it they gotta deal with it
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the-trans-dragon · 4 days ago
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Day 2 of Starting Adderall Again:
->I decided to shower, and then went to the bathroom to shower.
-->I remembered my shower was dirty because maintenance recently worked on my toilet and somehow they got chunks of caulk in the shower, and also I hadn't cleaned it since I moved in about 7 months ago
--->Remembered I also wanted to mop since they'd come into my Clean Space with their Outdoor Shoes
---->Went and got the mop but the mop pad was dirty
---->Threw away the dirty mop pad and got a clean one on
--->Went and mopped the bathroom, which room about 60 seconds
-->Turned my focus towards the shower again and started looking for the cleaner
--->Spent probably 5 minutes looking under all the sinks before *remembering* that I'd used it about a week ago and maybe had left it on the counter
---Found it the counter
-->Sprayed the shower with cleaner
--->Decided to wash the sink while the cleaner was working on the shower
--->Finished the sink in about 5 minutes and then washed the shower for 3-5 minutes
-->Turned on the shower to let it rinse all the cleaner off
->Showered in about 10 minutes, much faster than normal because I didn't spend *any* time trying to remember what I was doing, and yet still did all the steps??? Effortlessly????
I managed to mop the bathroom, clean my sink, clean my shower, ***and*** take a shower, in like??????? 30 minutes?????
And it was all virtually effortless. I had to briefly talk myself into doing it, and then ponder "am I getting needlessly distracted? *Should* I mop too, or just clean the shower?" but it didn't really stress me out to wonder about it. I just...had thoughts in my brain...and they didn't really do anything useful...so I just decided to go ahead and mop, since my brain hadnt come up with any good reason *not* to.
I am in a state of peaceful awe and contentment.
#sorenhoots#adderall#ALSO I SOCIALIZED TODAY WITHOUT HAVING TO FORCE MYSELF TO DO IT THROUGH NEARLY UNBEARABLE SOCIAL ANXIETY.#i socialized on purpose and didnt feel panicky and my heart didnt race and i wasnt constantly stammering or beating myself up for stammerin#and i managed to have timely reactions rather than being so caught up in anxiety and stress to have a response without needing like 5 full#seconds to analyze my behavior and deem it acceptable#AND wow i did so much work at my job!! im MOST proud of how i made sure i went slow and took ample breaks for my hurt hip!#but even while managing my pain i also tidied my ENTIRE department#making sure EVERY shelf looked nice. and then stocked a bunch of stuff. and then! i needed to bring some stuff out of the back#which has been a REALLY stressful task for me lately because its hard to carry a box of wine while using a cane; but ive been to *shy* to#use one of the carts. or it seems like “well itll take 3 times as long if i go get a cart and then use it to move stuff and then put it up.#i didn't worry about taking more time to make sure i didnt hurt myself! i didnt get stuck trying to decide what to do! i just went and got#a cart and then made a loop around my department to drop it all off!!! I DIDNT EVEN GET SUPER ANXIOUS TRYING TO DECIDE IF I SHOULD START#AT THE BACK AND WORK FORWARD- OR THE OTHER WAY. i could just DO things and EXIST and oh my GOD.#im kinda terrified of the possibility of it losing effectiveness after a couple weeks. which has happened in the past. but also--ill have#health insurance soon! GOOD HEALTH INSURANCE because of the Healthcare Marketplace thing!#it was SO EASY to sign up for in this state????? they even had someone i could email who helped me FOR FREE???#you know how sometimes government forms are like “is a professional helping you fill this out?” THATS WHAT THATS FOR. i never even realized#what that question was for??? i was like “is this for rich people who can pay someone else to do it?” BUT APPARENTLY SOMETIMES THE HELP IS#FREE BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT *CAN* ACTUALLY HELP ITS CITIZENS AFFORD HEALTHCARE?????#so even if the adderall stops being as effective...maybe i can try something else! and i can certainly financially afford to go to the dr#and discuss my health and try different meds if needed!!#its wild cos this state is still a very red state but like...its *significantly* less red than the last one. and its been so much easier.
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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taking an extra half an amfexa before I leave work bc [redacted] (popular artist) is playing my city tn and I'll need it to cope with how awful the traffics gonna be when I'm on the bus 💀
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toxycodone · 2 months ago
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When’s the next monsterfucker journal dropping.. hehe..
-🐍
when i feel like people are desperate enough for it hehe
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foolish-edworm · 3 months ago
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okay why is my brain working overtime rn im literally so exhausted girl (gender neutral). like. i dont have the physical energy for all this mental energy you're putting out right now what the fuck.
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wickedhawtwexler · 1 year ago
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my gaydar is so-so but my adhd-dar has not been wrong yet
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years ago
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My neighbors might hate me because I love singing while doing everything. Playing phone games? Music. Cleaning? Belting like I'm performing a concert. Walking? You can bet your buttons I have a karaoke track playing.
But I also have the horrible habit of playing one song on loop, and if I don't know then I learn it by picking up that way. But I only know certain lyrics for most of it.
So my neighbors have been hearing bits and pieces of Chronically Cautious all morning. Mostly "So if I'm honest, I think I'm beginning to question how much I want this," which I'm sure is not how they pictured their morning going. And I ended up playing a karaoke track, so that they got to hear the full thing about four times.
At least I'm a decent singer?
#i can hear one neighbor playing video games 24/7 amd another likes to slam his cupboards like they wronged him#so i dont feel too bad#and i keep it within decent noisy times#its noon rn and i started at about 11 or 11:30#ive been hella productive this morning which has been lovely#i got like six hours of sleep and then took an Adderall so today is going to be great#i showered. washed my face. did an exfoliating face mask (that didnt do much of anything. my skin might be beyond saving)#cut my nails. practiced Chronically Cautious about 50 times while getting dressed#i got dressed in cute af cozy clothes#now im about to go to the coffee shop to do some work on my computer#i have to be the most fuckable person at the coffee shop obviously#eventually i have to clean my tub and tidy and make dinner and a couple other things#i havent had an appetite lately... whovh is bad because i use Hellofresh#they send meals every week and my meals have kind of been stacking up because i dont feel like eating#i should do my dishes...#if i were rich. ill be honest. i would hire someone to clean for me#im a bit of a messy person and it just stacks up#especially since my apartment is pretty small. theres nowhere for the mess to go except places that a mess doesnt belong#especially my table... thats pretty bad. and my dishes. and laundry all over the floor#i have my apartment divided into spaces for different things. right.#table is for eating. desk for working. rug for recreation/crafts. bed for sleeping (im srill bad at not using my phone there tho)#but my table gets messy so its hard to eat there and my rug gets laundry so i dont want to sit there (and i need to vacuum it)#i need either an actual Adderall prescription (im used ti get it from a coworker but we dont work together anymore so im almost out of it)#or a bigger apartment. or enough money to hire a housekeeper#none of these are very feasible#but at least im productive today. so maybe ill get some cleaning done#i just realized im addicted to parentheses today#maybe i should get a library card... i live right next to a library why dont i have a library card?#sorry that was fairly unrelated. anyway have a good day i love you all
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stewystew · 19 days ago
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Taking my adderall again‚ made a list‚ we are SO back
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onrainynights · 2 months ago
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I'm not even asking for much literally I just need a job like that's it just a job that won't literally kill me would solve like 70% of my problems and well the other 30% I can't do anything about anyway so let me fix what I can fix and give me a job PLEASE
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zipquips · 3 months ago
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#i was hanging out with the other first year students yesterday#and it was super fun!#but then someone made the comment about how they hate seeing people with non astro backgrounds (ex: computer science/engineering/ect)#get into astro programs because those people are taking spots away from astro majors (their words not mine)#and i don't think the comment was about me#because everyone is really nice when i talk to them#but they also know i am someone with a non-astro background#so i was just really quiet and felt very awkward in that moment#so idk#like i know i deserve to be here (otherwise i wouldn't have gotten into the program)#but i sort of feel like shit because they think people like me have taken spots away from them#especially because i have been having a mild crisis about not knowing the same basic things as everyone else seems to#(because of my non-astro background)#and sometimes i do still doubt that everyone likes me#mostly because there are some times i can't interpret the meaning behind what people say in response to the things i say#(mostly when i'm trying to be funny)#and i can't tell how people interpret me all of them time yet#<- as in i can't tell if they have gathered that i'm autistic or if they just think i'm strange in a bad way#idk i'm just annoyed about that comment + the fact that there's been a couple comments about me that feel infantilizing?#but i'm also not sure?#again the autism <- idk how to interpret the meaning#like i got comments that were something along the lines of “aw precious baby/child”#when i said i didn't know what some website was that you can post your academic stats + grad school acceptances/rejections#and that scooby doo used to scare me when i was a literal child (but it doesn't anymore)#any everything i'm venting about is so minor and so meaningless and so something i wouldn't really think much about/very easily let go#if i wasn't already feeling like shit because i woke up too late to take my adderall and now i've done literally nothing all day#and i'm very frustrated with myself#and i very much miss my friends from home#and i cannot stop thinking about them because most of them were my grad school friends at my old college#and now i'm making new grad school friends
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peachinspiration · 8 months ago
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dunmeshi mithruncore (every day I can’t get up to make myself eat at all or get up to use the bathroom or fall asleep or actually do more to help myself unless im told to or someone physically Makes me do it or I finally manage to do so for the first time very very late in the day cuz I forced myself to out of fear)
#im in hell#that thing he said about not being able to sleep without magic or meds is so real#my sleep treatments even stopped working gradually#and if I don’t take any at all im laying awake until fuckinf 7 am#it takes me like an hour of holding it in to use the fuckinf bathroom#and the thing that makes me move is being terrified of kidney failure#it’s 6 pm and I still haven’t eaten my first meal of the day. tried ripping into a protein bar I had saved for moments like this but I can’t#make myself take more than 2 bites#the amount of times these past few years I’ve practically passed out from hunger cuz I just. cannot make myself get up to eat or make myself#something. omfgggggggff#I literally am a magic practitioner and have helped myself with spell work many times in the past yet I just can’t. make myself utilize it#more. yet I have all these books and supplies to use. and I’ve studied for hours and hours and know what to do#and it’s crazy cuz when im high off the sleep treatment THEN I actually do things but I don’t wanna use that more cuz im afraid of getting#addicted uhm. yeah idk what to even do anymore#my bf helps tremendously with leading me to do things but I don’t wanna take advantage of him too much and he’s long distance#but jesus fuck im literally on adderall now but its my emotional problems that keep it from working#it’s like wtf happened#I can’t fucking do anything unless someone’s there to guide me through it or keep me engaged as I work or they push me to in some way#and it’s like wow. cuz I want independence more than anything#it’s crazy cuz I related with his old self to the T especially with the desires and competitivity problems and trying to gain things he#doesn’t even actually want just for leverage and a sense of worth and the ‘if im not on the top on everything i dont have actual worth’thing#and other stuff I can’t remember off the top of my head. and I actually had friends and was more talkative#but now it’s like#🪿#yk what I mean#there’s a shitload of other things I relate too hard with but I can’t remember rn or I won’t mention cuz too much to go into#my bf said if he were around irl he’d cook for me and help with stuff when I go thru being like this nonstop which hey nice cuz obv id help#him with anything too#I mean there’s days where im better and can Do Things but it never lasts long and it sucks I can’t ever trust myself having a job or#I had all these things I wanted to do but I just feel nothing toward it and it drives me insane like can this maybe Not happen so often
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sleepii-moth · 9 months ago
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i think you need to be able to hire someone to bribe you to do work that you need to do but like not with money. i need someone to come to my house and be like "ill show you never before seen concept art of this game you like if you do your homework right now" i would be so much more productive i think
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barrenwomb · 1 year ago
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mutual 1: what if their periods synced [picture of griffith and guts from berserk]
mutual 2: just had the most insane sex of my life. i'm so lonely & no one loves me
mutual 3: they should have fucked tbh [about blood siblings]
mutual 4: yeah i'm aware i have commitment issues but like, no one ever threatened to kill themselves so i wouldn't leave them. i mean is it even worth it. like
mutual 5: i need to be put on adderall sooo bad. i ghosted my psych btw
mutual 6: i'm having a mid life crisis at 23 uuuugh kms fr. attended my first class in months and the professor called me a good girl. woof 🐶
mutual 7: this omega just had an abortion omg...anyways being a fujoshi actually makes u a feminist because men deserve to be reduced to sexual objects as well
mutual 8: i don't believe in god but if god existed i'd be his little whore
mutual 9: men need to be walked around like dogs
mutual 10: i'm fundamentally unlovable
mutual 11: need someone to get a matching succubus womb tattoo with
mutual 12: i'm so horny i deserve to be put down . i wish someone groomed me
mutual 13: does anyone know if sniffing ibuprofen is bad for your health
mutual 14: got my birth control refilled. anyone need some estradiol? hmu
mutual 15: rip amico mio. e mo si mangia
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copperbadge · 5 months ago
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How did you find the doctor(s) who assessed you for ADHD? Im looking into the process of getting diagnosed because (although ive suspected I might have adhd for years now) I've been struggling a lot more lately and i want to try medication to see if it helps at all. Im trying to search for psychiatrists through my health insurance portal but the the results im getting are all for child/adolescent psychiatry specialists, and I dont think that'll be much help for an adult adhd assessment? Did you have an established therapist to refer you for your assessment or were you able to find a psychiatrist independently?
I actually just kind of had to freeform it, but that does mean I have some tips to share!
I will say, I have never once used a health insurance portal to find someone to treat me for anything. Often their search engine is fucked up and the information is sometimes out of date. I almost always either ask someone who I know has had similar issues if they have a recommendation, ask my treating physician if I have one, or just google until I find someone reputable-looking; any qualified medical center or professional will list what insurance they take anyway, and you can always ask when you make the appointment.
So here's the process for how to do that!
When I was first considering it, I asked a friend who'd had an evaluation that came back not-ADHD, which I liked because it meant we knew it wasn't like, a weird Adderall pill mill or something. I really wanted to have a professional and thorough evaluation because I knew myself and knew I was capable of gaming a questionnaire. The place she had her evaluation was unfortunately having some staffing issues; part of the reason it took me so long is that I played phone tag with them for ages -- I'd call, and regardless of what time of day I called, their scheduler would be "out", so I'd leave a message and never get a call back. Ultimately I said "I really need to talk to a human, because your scheduler has not returned any of my numerous calls" and they said they could transfer me to another office outside of Chicago (in the burbs). That was not going to be accessible to me, so I told them thanks but I'll go somewhere else. Then COVID hit and I was not going to go anywhere near a medical center unless I had to for about two years.
So, when I was making my second serious run at getting evaluated, I did what might be expected of me by longtime readers of this blog: I made a spreadsheet.
I want to caveat this up top with REALLY IMPORTANT CONTEXT: I did not do all of this in a single day. The process from starting research to making an evaluation appointment took about a month, and probably would have taken longer if I wasn't getting somewhat desperate. Do not push yourself to do this as a single act. Research alone is a multi-day process; some days I looked at the open tabs and only entered one tab's worth of information. It took me quite a bit of time to write the form email I sent inquiring about an assessment. It took me time to call the clinic back when they asked me to call to book the appointment. This is a series of steps, not a single leap.
So!
I was looking for a clinic rather than an individual, in part because I'd heard a couple of horror stories about people who went to a psychiatrist and just got argued with for an hour instead of actually getting evaluated. So I googled, and here are some key terms for you, chicago adult adhd assessment. Chicago obviously for the region, but "adult adhd" (putting it in quotes will help) is the important term that will help you filter out a lot of child psych stuff. A lot of what I looked at did included family or child assessment/therapy but were clear that they also evaluated adults.
Then I went through every legit-looking search result and noted down, in my spreadsheet, the name of the clinic/company, the contact phone and email, the URL, the physical location (I needed to be able to get to it fairly easily) and whether they took my insurance. Even if they didn't take my insurance (all but one did) I still put them into the spreadsheet so that if I found them again I could check the sheet and know I didn't need to investigate further. I also tended to bump more legitimate and friendly-looking places to the top of the sheet. And if I were going to do it again I would also look for one specific thing, which is an assessment guide of some kind.
The assessment guide may be something they only give you after you speak with them, so it's not a no-go if they don't have one on their website, but it basically tells you what generally will go on during the assessment, how long it will take, and what you should bring. A full assessment like I had is estimated to take 4-6 hours and they recommended I wear layers so I wouldn't be overly cold/warm in their office, and to bring a snack. That's the kind of information you want, duration of the assessment and what they recommend for you, to ensure that you're working with people who are thorough and care about your comfort.
So, I have this spreadsheet now of places to reach out to, which I know take my insurance and do adult assessment. In the spreadsheet I also had columns for what date I contacted them and whether they'd responded. I started reaching out via email, one per day, with the form email I'd written.
The form email basically said "I'm 42 with no previous diagnosis but I have a family history of autism and dyslexia. I've been told I should get assessed for ADHD, so I'm looking for a clinic that will do the assessment and takes (my insurance). I prefer to be contacted by email but if need be, my phone number is (phone number). Please let me know if you have any open appointments and what information you will need from me to book an evaluation with you." (You can always ask for more information about the actual evaluation process once they respond.)
If I didn't get a response within 24 hours, I moved on to the next, but I only greyed out the text in that line of the spreadsheet; I didn't disqualify/remove the nonresponsive ones because again, I wanted to make sure I kept that information in case they eventually did respond. I did this with about ten clinics, because I figured I must be able to find at least one in ten who could do the eval, and I could go back and research more if necessary.
I think the third or fourth one I reached out to was the first to respond, and I ended up going with them; I had a very positive experience in the assessment itself but it was a real pain in the ass getting the documentation from them -- they took about a month to go through the evaluation data (this is not abnormal but is rather longer than usual according to my psychiatrist) and they gave me an in-person-by-zoom report once it was ready. That said, it took another four months and the threat of reporting them to the state to get them to send me the text of the eval (in part because the evaluator left the clinic unexpectedly with my formal report not yet written). But that's something that's truly impossible to know until you're working with them, and highly unusual, so don't let concerns about that deter you. If you end up in that situation come hit me up and I'll tell you how I dealt with that.
My eval recommended an executive function coach, but if I haven't been able to func it by now I never will, so I thanked them for the recommendation and went looking for a psychiatrist unaffiliated with the clinic to prescribe me meds. There, the key words you're going to be looking for are again "adult adhd" but also "adult disability" and if you want medication that's less likely to be a huge fucking hassle, "medication management". My psychiatrist and I meet every two months to reup my prescription, but he doesn't require me to take a regular drug test or meet him in person in order to get a new scrip, as some people have encountered. We meet in person once or twice a year (I can't remember, it's due to a legal requirement in Illinois) but otherwise it's over zoom.
So yeah -- it's a process, but there are ways to streamline and manage it, and a few tripwires in place to make sure you don't end up screwed by the system. Definitely feel free to ask if you have questions, either here or if you want a more indepth conversation you can email me at [email protected]. GOOD LUCK!
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horseimagebarn · 4 months ago
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Ok so thanks for the answer vis a vis the centaur situation I appreciate it a lot and I'm not trying to convince you to change your ruling but unfortunately you used the word taxonomy which triggered one of my damn neurodivergences. I hope you don't mind but my response will be to deposite these few paragraphs in your inbox I'm sorry in advance if this comes off as aggressive or condescending or just plain annoying I'm just sensing an opportunity to infodump to someone who might be interested in tbe topic so I'm seizing it I'm sure you know what it's like
Anyway there's a disconnect between pragmatism and scientific rigor that people are blind to which vexes me and biological taxonomy is a particular pet peeve of mine the biggest instance of it is crocodiles and alligators which are really the same damn animal for all intents and purposes but that's not relevant
Naturally when one thinks of horses one thinks of domestic horses specifically (Equus ferus cabellus) but I'd argue that certain pictures of donkeys (Equus africanus) look more like domestic horse pictures than certain pictures of Przewalski's horse (Equus ferus przewlaskii) despite the latter being classified as the same species and the former not
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And I feel that for a horse image barn the resemblence of a picture to an archetypical horse image should be a higher priority criterion for inclusion than some criteria that biological taxonomy relies on like the presence of specific haplotypes which isn't even a word anyone knows and if you go to its Wikipedia article you get a definition of it that's not really relevant to this ask
So yeah in conclusion I wouldn't tie the in/ex-clusion of images to scientific taxonomy but to Vibes if I were the admin of this or a similar blog but I'm not and you are so you can like do whatever
Also I won't be submitting the centaur image I wanted to submit but can I still send it as an ask I like showing it to people spreading it around etc it's kind of cursed but also funny and I like it a lot and I understand why it's not horse enough to your taste but it's definitely horse adjacent and I want to share it
as a fellow animal wikipedia delver i agree that taxonomy is not the end all be all of the human perception of animals however what i meant to imply is that the differences between centaurs and horses are large enough to be considered taxonomical and are not debatable even in a taxonomical sense due to their many massive differences also i have posted przewalskis horses before as they are true horses and this is horseimagebarn not assimagebarn or centaurimagebarn even though i love donkeys just as much and would own a donkey over a horse any day
i did just take my adderall and am bored at work so i have to humbly yet lengthily disagree with you that taxonomy is not important in both cases presented while the crocodilian assumption you make has bruised my heart as i love alligators and i find them far cuter than crocodiles due to the differences in their jaw structure that makes their bottom teeth fit into their mouth instead of jutting out like crocodiles (which is one of the many actual and notable physical differences between them alongside choice of salt or fresh water etc) i wont get into that and will focus on horses since thats the point of this blog using actual punctuation and capitalization for the first time in this blogs history ill be referring to przewalskis horse as takhi as it is also known so i dont make a typo which i know i will
long ass (donkey pun) post warning
Taxonomy can of course be vague at times or muddied, but it is not an invalid study. All human knowledge is constantly evolving, and mistakes are inevitably going to be made, but that does not make our efforts invalid. It is beneficial for us to know how evolution works. Taxonomical differences are real and worth considering, even if mistakes are made sometimes. Two animals looking similar is not a valid reason to ignore their taxonomical differences, nor is it okay to ignore similarities because they look different—if we went by that logic, every dog breed would be a totally different species.
Speaking of, here's a little more on the whole appearance thing before we get into the science:
The other day, I was watching a video about the actual horses that existed in antiquity, and they are far more similar to takhi than you might think. I'll link the video if I can find it, apologies for a lack of a source on this right now, but the gist of it was that horses of yore were much shorter and stouter than modern horses. The tall, thin horse often seen in modern depictions of ancient time is inaccurate, as is the thick, muscular draft, which didn't become common until later on. Back then, people wanted horses that were sturdy—most people didn't care as much about specific breeds or having the hugest and prettiest horse on the block, especially when food to maintain larger animals like modern horses wasn't always guaranteed, and having such a huge animal could be dangerous and more difficult. Their horses were more similar to ponies than our big guys now, and ponies aren't a separate species. The selective breeding of horses to become taller and leaner made them appear way different from the takhi, but just like dogs, they remain extremely similar to those of their taxa despite looking different on the surface. For example, take a look at the ancient fjord horse breed next to the takhi...in fact, sometimes takhis are called Mongolian ponies! We can even see this in ancient art earlier in the horse's domestication:
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Anyway, science:
Firstly, the takhi isn't wholly classified as the same exact species as the true horse, our domesticated Equus ferus caballus. Both Equus ferus callabus and Equus ferus przewalskii are considered subspecies of caballines, or true horses, meaning they're more like cousins (I know it's a cliche to say this, but I mean it), with donkeys and zebras as, like, their nephews twice removed. If the takhi was considered the exact same species as the domestic horse with no acknowledged differences, it would be considered a breed of horse, not a subspecies (though breeds are typically manmade, they are not always—see the word "typical" in the dictionary definition). This means that it does have recognized, distinct differences from the standard domesticated horse that have been taken into consideration in their taxonomy—it is not like the two are blindly considered the same exact thing.
Mistakes have been made in Equus taxonomy in the past, but continued research has led to a retaxing of the genus as early as the 1980s. In the 2012 review article "Discordances between morphological systematics and molecular taxonomy in the stem line of equids: A review of the case of taxonomy of genus Equus," by E. Kefena et al., a number of scholars reviewed the methods with which the Equus genus has been taxed in the past and how they have changed in the past few decades.
According to that article, equines are an incredibly plastic genus. They are very good at adapting to their environments, which led past taxonomists to overcount the amount of Equus species that existed in the past and therefore miscategorize the history of the genus in general. Many were actually just adapted versions of the same thing. This is what we see in the horse and takhi—they are similar but have adapted to their different environments and niches.
In 1986, two molecular scientists, George and Ryder, performed the first DNA-based molecular taxonomy on all living equus species, publishing their findings in the article "Mitochondrial DNA evolution in the genus Equus." By mapping equus DNA and constructing a phylogenetic tree, they were able to take a closer look at the actual genetic disparities between equus species.
George and Ryder found that "[In the mtDNA (mitochondrial DNA) cleavage map,] the percent sequence difference between E. przewalskii and E. caballus individuals was found to range between 0.27% and 0.41%. ... Overall, the amount of divergence presented here is small and not much greater than the 0.36% divergence reported for mtDNA differences found among the human racial groups (Brown 1980; Cann et al. 1984)."
So, horses and takhis are incredibly similar. Using these findings, they separated equus species into three clades: "One that groups the zebras, a second that groups E. africanus [African wild ass] and E. hemionus [Asiatic wild ass, aka the hemione], and a third that associates the true [caballine] horses E. przewalskii and E. caballus as a unit. However, as stated previously, the E. africanus-E. hemionus clade remains enigmatic."
They later state that "E. hemionus and E. africanus appeared more karyotypically [chromosomally] similar to each other than to other equids," hence why they were considered a clade despite being "enigmatic." Kefena et al. explain this weird enigma further, and, notably, compare it to the takhi: "Next to Przewalskii's horses, hemiones were the first species to be diverged from the stem line of extant equids, suggesting that they might be closely related to caballine horses than to asses, though they are monophyletic with donkeys than with horses. On the basis of these evidences, morphological resemblance between species doesn't guarantee genetic similarity between equid species." This means that asses and horses have distinct genetic differences that far outweigh those between takhi and domestic horses, despite the fact that donkeys and takhi look more similar. The hemione looks very similar to the African wild ass, and it is closer to it genetically, but it is not the same due to the way it evolved—it broke away from the general line earlier than any other ass. The takhi is the same; it diverted earlier than other horses, but remains very genetically similar—more than any other extant Equus species. And, even with the takhi's extra chromosomal pair, George and Ryder also found that they and horses were also very close karotypically, giving them incredible similarities both mtDNA-wise and chromosome-wise. Despite that different chromosome, horses and takhis can successfully interbreed and produce fertile offspring, unlike horses and donkeys.
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Kefena et al. "MYBP" stands for "Millions of Years Before Present" Funnily enough, G&R also say, "There has been little to no dispute over the close relationship that exists between E. przewalskii and E. caballus; thus the addition of E. caballus to the E. przewalskii branch should be easily accepted." Which is so weirdly on the nose that I feel compelled to say that it's on page 544 so no one thinks I'm making it up. So, with their genetic similarities, their actually surprisingly similar appearances, and their sequential DNA similarities, the Przewalski's horse and the domesticated horse do belong in the same category when compared to other equines like donkeys and zebras. They're not identical, but they're in the same room of the larger equine house. And, check out the tarpan, Equus ferus ferus, another subspecies of Equus ferus and the most recently extinct of them all, alongside the current Equus ferus species (and a concept of the original Equus ferus pre-domestication by Cameron Clow on Artstation)! They're all friends:
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Conclusion
you can send me centaurs if you want i just wont post them
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