#sorry that was fairly unrelated. anyway have a good day i love you all

[mara-and-its-the-same]

living in the past, it's a new generation - tell me as much as you want to about yourself and I'll make a mood board of what i imagine your past life would be (i'm obsessed with historical fashion, let me indulge myself)

this is so creative oh my goodness how do you come up with these??? also i went a little overboard while talking about myself i hope thats ok<3

i'm an isfj, and i'm fairly shy. i have anxiety, and i get really quiet in social settings- i have 3 close friends who mean the world to me, and i'm part of a really small friend group but i value individual friendships much more because of how intimate they are. i listen to music quite often, read too much (i get caught up in books really easily), listen to a lot of music - taylor swift wrote mirrorball for me - and i'm an academic validation girlie. my aesthetic is somewhere in between coastal granddaughter and coquette- i kind of dress like rory gilmore, i wear flared jeans a lot and floral or lacy tops. 

i use she/her pronouns, and i'm straight but mayyybe bi?? i like to think i'm feminine- i love perfume and lavender and candles and claw clips and locket jewelry. i'm 5'2, petite, and i have medium-length hair that's light brown in the winter and strawberry blonde in the summer (idk but something about the sun changes its color, i don't know how). i'm really fair skinned, blush easily, and i have a few freckles- i get sunburned really easily so i try to take really good care of my skin. my teeth aren't very straight but i like to think it's a cute little character flaw haha.

i'm a ballet dancer but i also ice skate for fun, and i play touch football in the spring. i'm also obsessed with pearls. i write a lot as well- mostly poetry, but i don't post it on here lol. i adore pretty trinkets and dresses, iced matchas from starbucks, gracie abrams, romcoms, and pale pink converse. my favorite show is gilmore girls & anne with an e, and my favorite movies are little women (2019) and dead poets society. thank you<33

babe, why do we have the same hair except mine is only red because it's so stained

And also, don't apologize for talking about yourself. This is science, I need DATA!!!! It's also an excuse for me to know you better<3 (this is also gonna be lowkey fantasized because old times be rough and I'm not gonna put your past self through that) We are here for lighthearted gaiety!!!! Nothing more, nothing less!

Anyway, I got carried away and made a pinterest board rather than a mood board, sorry, but anyway, absolutely 100% certainly late victorian ballerina

I kinda feel like its low hanging fruit cus like, you said you love ballet but honestly I was thinking it the whole time, I just got lucky when you confirmed it el oh el

I think you wouldn't be nobility exactly, but like gilded age and whatever, you'd have money so you get a fancy education and excel in all your courses but then you start ballet and you're definitely better than everyone there too. So you eventually become on of the most famous ballerinas and duh everybody wants to be you or be with you but you're like naaahhhh I have enough friends, thank you though. BUT THeN! One day, at some dinner party your obscenely wealthy grandma is having in your honor at her beach mansion house (because you're the bestest ballerina of them all) you meet gaspspps A Devilishly dashing (person of whatever gender you're feelin, I won't tell you what to do) and it's a relentless back and forth of will-they-wont-they and your friends all say yes but you say no because "they're probably just like everyone else, they don't want me for me, they want me for what I do, what I could offer them"

BUT THEN! dun dun dun,,,a totally random accident that happens out of nowhere and is completely unrelated to dance (i'm hella superstitious and if you think i'm putting that out there? Haha no way), leads you to an early retirement because you still love to dance but the fame isn't all you bargained for, so you move to the seaside and DUN DUN DUN! Who comes to visit??? Your beloved suitor!! and then you have a beautiful life filled with perfume bottles, lockets, lavender sprigs, and beach picnics <3

ummmm I got very carried away but i hope you liked it <3

[evans-heaven]

Touch; Joseph Quinn (repost)

I posted this last night originally but it wasn’t showing up in the tags, so I figured I’d try again today (tumblr, you’ve got issues). Anyway, pls indulge in this fic about Joseph not keeping his hands to himself ;)

Original concept here 

Read Feelings here

More moments here

Read Scene here

Pairing: Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader (no physical descriptions)

Warnings: Touching (like a lot I got carried away), pining, mention of sex, I also had no idea how to end this sorry y’all

WC: 1.2k

It was Geeked Week for Netflix, which meant they pulled out all the stops for Stranger Things and had a plethora of events set up for the show. A fairly unknown actress, you were one of the many new additions to the cast in the show’s latest season, so all this media coverage and the number of events you had to attend was still new territory. One of those events was playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons, hosted by B. Dave Walters. Your character, Stacey, was a member of the fictional Hellfire Club in the show, which was Hawkins High’s resident D&D association. You sat around a table with the other members, Finn, Priah, Gaten, and Joseph, tablets and notepads in front of you. 

Dave seemed like an entertaining and interactive host/master, so he held your focus for the duration of the introduction before it was time to play. Your knowledge of the game in real life was pretty substantial, so, all things considered, you felt prepared. 

Your focus, however, was interrupted, by a calloused hand suddenly touching you. Your silk shirt dress had ridden up, just a bit, so the hand landed on your bare mid thigh. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the perpetrator, Joseph, who sat right next to you. A look of concentration was on his face as he listened to Dave set the current situation for the game. He could’ve had a small smirk on his face, or looked like he was doing a poor attempt at an innocent expression because he knew he was teasing you. But, he was calm; focused, almost like he didn’t even think twice about placing his large, warm hand on your thigh. It was like it was just a reflex. He placed his hand there like he would fold his arms or touch his jaw while he paid attention.

You and Joseph were no strangers to touching one another, even in such familiar ways. You hadn’t slept together-hell, you hadn’t even kissed. But there was always some physical contact behind closed doors. Being two of the newest main cast members was nerve wracking, so you formed a natural closeness with each other. You’d go to his trailer to run lines before shooting a scene and suddenly your legs were thrown over his while the two of you laughed over something completely unrelated to the script. He’d go to your hotel room to watch a movie because you couldn’t sleep, and you’d doze off in his arms with the movie still playing in the background. There were always innocent brushes of the hand when he walked past you or lingering hugs every morning on set or during press, or when you said goodbye at the end of the day. 

After 2 years of working together and having these interactions, there wasn't a doubt in your mind that your love language was physical touch-or rather, Joseph’s touch. You had grown to crave it. (a/n: and who could blame you sis?)

So, having been so used to his touches, your surprise at this one wore off as quickly as it came, and you allowed his action, because it just felt right. However, that didn’t mean that his movements were lost on you. Your legs were crossed at the ankles, leaving a small gap between your thighs. Joseph, his touch remaining intact, began to slide his fingers through the small space, his thumb on the other side, getting a good grip on your thigh. Your heart fluttered a bit at that, and you felt warm inside, even though his hand was relatively cool. He touched you like he was trying to re-familiarize himself with your skin.

Dave asked him to describe his D&D character, ‘Joe Keery’, and you couldn’t help but laugh lightly- because one,  he began describing the actual Joe Keery like he was a novelist, and also, he started to lazily drag his thumb across your skin while he spoke, and you were nothing if not ticklish. His hand remained there, thumb and fingers crawling against your thigh at various intervals, until it was time to roll on his tablet. He gave your thigh a firm squeeze before taking the device in his hands. 

The game went by smoothly, lots of banter and antics being exchanged among everyone at the table. Joseph kept his hands to himself for the most part. Though, his default position of manspreading caused your knees to be pressed against one another, even if your legs were closed. They’d occasionally rub together with the slightest movement of excitement.

It was around the time of the in game meeting with Vecna that you began to grow a bit antsy. When you crossed your legs and leaned back a bit in your seat, your toes hit something soft-and you realized it was Joe’s leg. It wasn’t a kick, more of a small, accidental nudge. If he noticed, his face didn’t show it. However, you knew your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you when, as you went to pull away, he subtly moved his leg into your touch even more, your toes pressing into his calf muscle. 

You couldn’t avoid the small smile that tugged at your lips.

A few moments passed before you unconsciously began to drag your heeled foot up and down against the material that covered his calf.  Somehow, this grounded you and brought your focus back to the task at hand. 

Unbeknownst to you, your actions calmed him as well, and he was able to release some restlessness by focusing on your foot’s light movements against his leg. 

The game went on normally, everyone at the table none the wiser to what happened below the surface-not that there was anything to hide, really. It wasn’t like things were getting explicit. Even when you uncrossed your legs eventually and shifted in your seat, the touches continued, albeit more subtle. If he addressed you, his fingers would tickle your shoulder if he leaned his forearm on his chair’s backrest. Your biceps brushed together constantly, even though it wasn’t on purpose. At one point, he grasped your hand on the table when you were hoping to roll a big number. Also at one point, when a bout of laughter struck you both, your heads leaned into one another, temples touching.

The two of you got so lost in each other and your natural closeness, neither of you even thought to tone it down in front of the cameras.

And with everything being caught on video, it became all the Stranger Things fans needed to be sent into a spiral of shipping.

Well, that wasn’t true. They had been sent into that very spiral a few weeks ago when press videos began to be released. They claimed they sensed a ‘tension’ between you and Joseph that wasn’t there in both your interactions with other cast members. Your ship name, along with gifs and edits of your interactions quickly began to circle the internet.

So when Geeked Week arrived and the D&D video was uploaded, the comments section quickly went frenzied. 

The view from under the table was dimly lit, but if someone’s eyes drifted down below, it was obvious. The top comment became one that pointed the two of you out, and then that was almost all anyone could talk about.

Did y’all peep what was happening under that table bc 👀

Joseph’s grip on Y/N’s thigh sheeeesh

↪ Lucky girl 😭

Y/N just casually dragging her foot against his leg like it's nothing??? 

Not them being all touchy pls get a room 😩

These two have to have something going on there’s no way that body language means nothing

Gaten’s smirk whenever Joseph and Y/N would interact HE KNOWS SOMETHING Y’ALL

↪ Lmao I bet the entire cast knows they have something going on but them 🤣

The way they look at each other oh my God they’re so down bad 😩

When he held her hand 🥺

I don’t know who I’m more jealous of tbh

The fact that they’re the two newest main cast members and seem so close I’m- 😭

Pls Joseph looking for every reason to touch Y/N is so relatable

When are these two going to admit their obvious feelings for one another???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

😛❤

[missingn000]

Hey! I wanted to thank you for writing tpg (if it isn’t rude or presumptuous of me to do so, in which case I apologise) because reading it has been an absolute pleasure. I found your fic a month ago when I was still fairly new to jjk, and let’s just say it helped the brainrot along considerably— I was reading tpg as 2023 swung ‘round, so that’s how I entered the new year LOL

I freakin’ adore your writing style, it’s one of my favourites among all the fics I’ve read over the years. It’s effortlessly witty and so, so vivid; I never thought fight scenes could ever be adequately described with words until you came along and proved me wrong. Not to mention their wonderfully symbolic nature too, like Toji’s fight against Gojo highlighting his growth as a character, that he values Maki more than his own pride (which cost him the second fight anyway), plus Nanami’s interpretation of the meaning of life quite literally clashing with Higuruma’s. There are so many layers to be found, and I adore the nuances you’ve so seamlessly incorporated into… everything, really

On a slightly unrelated note, I’ve hoarded numerous screenshots of funny bits that made me lose my shit, in particular Toji’s desperate “the customer is always right!” and Nanami’s unimpressed “I will insult the customer on the grounds that he is an idiot” like 💀 this exchange lives rent free in my mind, you have no idea how many times it’s made me laugh. Thank you for writing this lmao. You brought together characters that have literally never interacted in canon, gave them a functional dynamic, and I love it.

This… got long, I’m sorry. I just adore tpg to the moon and back- it got me back into writing after many months of inaction.

Hope you’re having a good day! I apologise for any mistakes, English isn’t my first language lol

oh my god hi?? first off, please don't apologize!! this was such a wonderful message to wake up to and has brightened my mood throughout the whole day. it's such an honor that you were reading tpg when the new year hit 😭❤️️ tpg has been a constant source of my jjk brainrot as well, and i'm both thrilled and deeply sorry that it pulled you into this series too (/lh)

thank you so much for your compliments on my writing style!! i think it's evolved a lot throughout the story and it's my goal to be constantly improving. and it's always nice to know my jokes are actually funny and the imagery i'm trying to convey comes across :')

fight scenes are my absolute favorite thing to write, and the benefit of written fight scenes is that they can have so much more emotion and internal narrative than visual fight scenes. i try to carefully map out both the fight choreography and the thematic layers, so i'm seriously over the moon that it's working!!

SDFGHJ PLEASE i loved that interaction between nanami and toji too. i've heard the 'found fam gets nanami fired' scene is a fan favorite, which makes me so happy because i cackled the entire time while writing it. it's such a blast to explore potential dynamics we didn't have in canon!

i hope YOU'RE having a good day!! and your english is perfect omg. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING and for sending this incredibly sweet message!!!

[kiwibirbs-library]

Before and After Rituals

a/n: hi I hope yall like Imma make this a series with the schools so      mauh <3

pairings: karasuno x reader

warning: I’m pretty sure this is all clean if not feel free to say something. 

summary: the boy’s before and after game things that they do with you

seijoh || nekoma || fukurodani || shiratorizawa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daichi Sawamura

the night before a game you always go over to his house with some meat buns and either stay for a while or spend the night

he always holds onto you in some way

it calms him down 

its not anything big but it gives him a good sense of peace and quiet before chaos

after his game you always wait for him outside the gym, win or lose

he goes with his team back to the school and you meet him there too

you either go to his house or yours and one of you spends the night just to calm down his head

you always get snacks and even if he tells you to not get to much junk you always get to much and he doesn’t stop you

if he won then you talk about the next match and his thoughts on the team

he’ll also spin you around when he sees you outside the gym

idk he loves doing it

if he lost than he’ll start on things he needs to do better on and you’ll try and cheer him up with some corny jokes and kithes.

Sugawara Koshi

all the morning before the game you two are attached at the hip. 

everyone is just used to you “sneaking” onto the bus to drive with them

in reality him trying and failing horribly to cover you with his jacket and coach just giving up on it

constant quiet giggles at first as you try and calm his nerves

then around the end its more quiet and serious as he focuses a little more

after the game he naps on you the whole way home

if he wins you get to listen to his rambling about some idea he had on signals he could use or a set up he wants to try

he could literally talk for hours on what he was thinking wall watching and playing its so adorable

if he loses then theres a aura of sadness in the bus and if its bad enough he’ll muffle his small sniffs into your shoulder

that hasn’t happen except for date tech and sejioh though and your happy for that

you always sleep over after the game

always

Asahi Azumane

before the game welcome to teddy bear time

noya constant teasing for a week straight since the big dork is constantly on you freaking out

normally its not to bad and a lot of it is just of how scare he is that his spikes will get blocked a lot and the comments he’s sure to receive about his looks when he gets there

when game day does come you always kiss his cheek and hold his face to tell him good luck

def earning gags from tssuki but you didn’t hear it from me

after the game its like teddy bear time x10

win or lose you get a new weighted blanket for a couple of days

if he wins its a more happy blanket yes but he’s so exhausted that he just falls asleep on you the minute you meet him at his house after they left for the bus

plus a bunch of random ‘holy crap wait i did that?!”’s to himself throughout the day

if he loses he cries a little, blaming himself for the entire thing

you always tell him that its not his fault and that he did his best

he’s honestly so pessimistic the night after and your one it telling him that he needs to remember how it feels but not let it bring him down

you bring him up with those comments and he’s so grateful for it

Nishinoya Yuu

every time the day before a game he likes to go somewhere with you

weather it be the park, the arcade, an ice cream shop

a freaking pet shop (yes you almost got a pet that day)

he finds it relaxing to see you having a nice time with him and every time he always makes sure its a place to make you smile

after the game he’s a koala on you, win or lose

the only real difference is happy koala or sad koala

happy koala is randomly kissing you and laughing, nuzzling into you while Tanaka either gags or whines about how single he feels

sad koala is sniffling into your shoulder and clinging to you even more if its possible, hes pretty quiet too so you know hes waiting until you get home to talk about everything

course after that mini pout session hes all fighting and ready to see that team again and win

either one also ends with a cuddle movie night until like 2am

also unrelated but like he’s so freaking hot when he receives so always tell him that

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

ok ok this boy omg 

so before the game its MAJOR sucking up to you

literally after a while you’ll get more used to it and get what kinds of attention he wants but like at first its just a lot of complements and stares and draping

literally ennoshita is stretched so thin the week before hand by it all

no one even understands why he’s sucking up to you other than him, you (after a little), and ennoshita

he just wants you to return the energy

after the game all depends on winning or loosing

if the win he will always, without fail, kiss you like a million times all over your face when he sees you next

does not matter if its outside the gym or if its when he gets back to the school or what

every time

if they lose, well you now have a very sad puppy on your hands

mentally during a game he’s like no one you’ve never met but when he gets home and has sometime to think its all a bunch of ‘i could have done better’ and ‘i should have done better’ s

you are constantly reassuring him thats he’ll do it next time and that its not his fault

BACK RUBS ARE BIG WITH HIM AND YOU CANT TELL ME NO

but win or lose yall’s main thing is a movie and snack night

after that he’s really to go the next morning and beat up some volleyballs lol

Ennoshita Chikara

lol he’s the most chill i think

before the match he’s really calm

bb doesn’t think he’s gunna play but like he’s ready

honestly though the biggest switch is that he’s an even bigger cuddle bug than before

like he keeps it together at school but hangouts? coming over?

ha

better have gone to the bathroom before cause you’re not moving for the next couple hours

it’s like it calms him down after practice enough to think over what he needs to work on

after the game is the same no matter win or lose

every.single.time. he will always have a sit down with you to talk about what happened during the game

like quick nap, the meeting, then off to your house to go over the pros and cons on the game

he always has the moments when he thinks he’s not worth it to be put in the game but you always just ruffle his hair and tell him thats the furtherest from truth he could get

Kageyama Tobio

OH MY GOD YAY MY BOO

sorry anyways

so before a game he gets kinda quiet

normally he likes to chat about stuff that went on in practice or how hinata pissed him off that day while yall are sprawled on his couch

but he gets quiet the week before and just has that look on his face

you know the look

the ‘grumble grumble’ one

you always poke between his eyebrows and poke at him to make sure he doesn’t go to far into his thoughts

the night before its like a switch flips and hes muttering to himself like crazy on something he might be able to do with his sets

after a game is another win or lose situation

winning means you get little kid mode kageyama

literally his eyes sparkle at everything he enjoys afterward

milk

rewatching his match

anything you freaking do, all that

plus napping, a lot of napping

losing is sad to watch

he sort of goes back a few steps in the social department and goes robot mode

you both will camp out on his couch, his head buried in your lap or shoulder

if its bad enough he cries a little

you always sleep over no matter what

Hinata Shoyo

SHOYOOO

alright this boy before the game is normally fairly daily ngl

you get normal bouncy sunshine that will follow you anywhere and everywhere all the time

but the night before you get meditation mode where he sets out his game stuff and sits there for like half an hour

first time this happened you got scared for him cause he never sits still that long

NEVER

now though you just sorta hang on his bed watching him cause its cute

after the game is the biggest depending there is out of the rest

if he wins he is bouncing of the walls after a little nap

when you finally get him home he’ll have you throw the ball back and forth for like an hour before you call it and make him lay down or eat or something

if he loses its like he lost all his energy for a little while

he tries to fall asleep but cant due to a replay of something he did wrong

you always run your hand through his hair and try to calm him down

calm down as in cheer up not energy

at least until someone says something (usually tanaka) that gets him on another energy high to beat them next time

you always sleep over though it just happens so often that it became normal

Tssukishima Kei

before is fairly normal im ngl

he doesn’t do to much out of the ordinary

I like to think he’s a heck tone more affectionate in private 

his before game time isn’t anything special though 

he does come with you to the store to get snacks with yamaguchi more often tho so

thats something

after a game is really calm and slow

once again I think he’s a lot more affectionate in private so you lay on him while hes on his phone to calm down

half the time its calming you down since you were freaking out more than him

but same difference

this is what happens win or lose though

like if they lose and he tried he might lay on you instead but its normally just like that

honestly thinking of him being more affectionate in private just makes me fall for him ahhhhhh hate this but anyways

Tadashi Yamaguchi

this boy good lord

so before a game he literally shaking 

like he was fine the whole week but the day before he’s slowly freaking out more and more

tssuki will laugh at him while your trying your best to talk him out of his up coming panic attack that might come

a good light smack on his back and a cheek kiss is good enough to get him distracted fro thinking to much though

after a game is always the same thing unless he screwed up a serve really bad

you two always go to the store and gets some snacks and them go to his house and just talk about anything ad everything

if he wins its normally about the game but when he loses you bring up random things to cheer him up

if he messed up he’ll get quiet and just lay on you for hours

but you know that if you can get something about his amazing improvement he’ll eventually brighten up

bb just wants some love (that doesn’t mean you don’t smack him upside the head when he makes fun of someone tho 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: im sorry for not doing  kinoshita and narita i dont know them good enough since im not that far into season four to write for them. plus i think ennoshita is oc but thats ok i think

[ri-ahhh]

can u just give me mushy gushy shit with grayson like ethan has a girl over so the two of you decide to go out for a burger date and a walk at night? idk something like that pls 👉🏻👈🏻

A/N: I couldn’t even tell you how long this has been sitting in my drafts but I was looking through trying to find something to finish bc I was in the mood to write but not from scratch and found this lol. It was about halfway done and I have no idea where I was going with it but this is what it turned into as of today. Idek if there’s even anyone around here anymore to read this but whatever haha here it is.

You don’t usually mind being single. Even when your best friend/roommate Stella started seeing her boyfriend Charlie seriously, it didn’t give you any longing for a relationship of your own.

But there are some nights where you feel down and you just can’t handle it. The scenes of casual intimacy as soon as you get home and see them together — the vase of flowers on the kitchen island he must have brought over; the playful bickering across the room.

The incessant, unrelenting sound of a marathon session going on through the shared wall of your and Stella’s bedrooms.

You groan and turn the volume up on your AirPods, going straight to your messages next.

Wyd?

{G} 👀

Don’t be weird.

Pretty sure Stella and Charlie are trying to put a hole in the wall w her headboard and I can’t take it anymore.

Your roommate chooses that moment to let out a particularly enthusiastic “fuck!” If she weren’t your best friend, you might have given in to the urge to bang on the wall, but your phone lights up with Grayson’s reply anyway.

{G} E too.

{G} I mean like I can’t hear him but ik what’s going down in there

{G} I’d offer to pick u up but sounds like u need to get outta there lol. Meet me here?

You like the message and slip on some shoes, making sure to slam your bedroom door closed on your way out, as if it would make them pause even one thrust.

In the year that you’ve known him, Grayson Dolan has become one of your closest friends. The kind where you met as acquaintances, never talked much, but then you reconnected randomly and the conversation never stopped from there on. You talk about anything and everything, but recently you’ve bonded even more about being a perpetual third wheel. You knew he’d understand and not pass judgement on you in times like this, so it had been a no-brainer to text him as an escape from tonight.

He buzzes you into the gate when you get to his house, and he tells you over another text to go ahead and hop in the Porsche before he even gets outside. It makes you smile; night drives are your favorite, and while the Tesla is a vibe in its own right, there’s just something calming about someone (your attractive friend, no less) tangibly driving you around. It’s exactly what you need right now, no matter what destination he has in mind.

When he slides into the driver’s side not even a minute later, you’re almost overwhelmed by him. Looking far too good in your eyes for how casual he’s dressed in a well-fitting T-shirt and some grey sweats. Hair slightly damp from a recent shower.

He greets you with a grin and leans over the console to kiss your cheek, and you can smell the combination of his shampoo and a bit of cologne. You always appreciated that he doesn’t overdo the fragrance, and if possible it makes him even more intoxicating at times.

“Hey,” he says simply, sitting back in his seat and fastening the seatbelt.

“Hey.” You smile and watch him with a silent but fairly obvious appreciation as he reaches a hand to rest on the back of your seat, twisting the bit he needs to look out the back windshield. The Porsche has a backup camera, obviously, but he’s a cautious driver to a fault and insists he doesn’t fully trust them.

Grayson gets the car facing enough of the right direction to throw it in drive and exit down the long driveway. You shake your head and settle back, kicking off your shoes with a sigh and tucking your feet onto the seat beneath you.

“One day, we’ll be the ones making them leave the house,” he jokes, stopping for the gate to open.

You know it’s implied that he’s referring to the two of you with separate people, but you can’t help but consider the option that the two of you could make that happen together.

“I know for a fact you have a booty call list a mile long, Dolan,” you say with a raised brow. Despite the fleeting thought, keeping things lighthearted and platonic is much easier to deal with in reality. “You could have called one of them and done just that.”

He scoffs and pretends like you’ve just hurt him deeply, slapping a hand to his burly chest to clutch at his heart. “Excuse me, it is not a mile long.” He glances over at you with a held-back smirk. “A couple hundred yards, tops.”

You throw your head back with a loud cackle, looking out the window now as he turns onto the main road. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Damn, that’s a big word.” He likes to tease you about your extended vocabulary.

“Hopeless,” you elaborate, crossing your arms and rolling your eyes.

“Is that what that word means, or are you making fun of my high school dropout vocab?”

“Both.”

You let your head roll back against the headrest, turning to watch him, knees swayed to the side a bit. His form isn’t hidden in the dark at all, features lit up by the dash in front of him and the streetlights you’re passing by outside.

“Why didn’t you, then? Call one of them?”

Grayson shrugs. “Just didn’t really feel like spending time with people tonight.”

You’re silent for a moment and consider his answer. “Why did you agree to hang out, then? You didn’t have to.”

His eyes never leave the road, but you see the veins in his hand gripping the steering wheel bulge out for a moment as he squeezes it tightly.

“I guess I meant I didn’t want to spend time with people I don’t really care about.”

Your heart skips a beat, but you play it off with a sarcastic tone. “Aw, you care about me?”

“Of course I do,” he replies easily. “I’m not sure why, though. You’re so fuckin sassy sometimes.”

“You love it.”

The car rolls to a stop at a red light. Grayson’s hand slides from where it’s lightly gripping the gear shift, to yours, which is picking at a loose string on your leggings.

Your easy smile at the comfortable banter between you and Grayson falters some in surprise, but you let him turn your palm over and trace the lines of your hand softly. Both of your gazes are fixated on the way he tickles your skin when he says, “Yeah. I do.”

Your eyes shoot up, just in time to meet his. He looks at you with a weird mixture heat and vulnerability, and there’s a thick moment of silence, no longer than the single beat of your heart that you can hear thudding loud and clear in your ears, when suddenly the car behind you lays on the horn.

Both of you startle, and Grayson’s attention returns to the road ahead. He steps on the gas and takes his hand away, carding it through his hair roughly as you sink back into your seat with a disbelieving scoff.

“Oh my God, dude, you can’t just do that to me,” you blurt out, your heart in your stomach and your brain even lower. A helpless giggle escapes you, and you tug on your own locks. “Shit...”

“What?” he asks defensively, but you hear the tiny bit of the grin he’s wearing in his voice.

You turn your head to deadpan him, eyes wide. “You can’t just... imply something like that and give me sex eyes and not think you did something to me! Are you crazy?”

He gives a one-shouldered shrug with the arm resting on top of the steering wheel again. “Maybe. You’re proving my ‘sassy’ point all over again.”

“Oh my — don’t fuck with my head, Gray.”

“Hey.” His voice is deeper, more serious as the car comes to another stop. You’re only just now realizing you’ve reached the burger joint, and that the late hour made finding parking a nonexistent problem. He puts the car in park and unbuckles his seatbelt before doing the same to yours. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to fuck with your head, I promise. I just... didn’t want it to seem like I was coming on too strong too suddenly. I, uh, have a history of doing that.”

You stare at him, processing everything. “I know.”

He chuckles dryly. “Yeah, I know you do.”

There’s more silence. That heavy kind that happened right after his little impromptu confession.

“You know,” you finally speak up, finding your voice after mulling over your words, “I kinda love that you’re a douche.”

He looks a little taken aback, until understanding dawns on him, and his eyes light up in a way that has you smiling instantly with him. “Really?”

You nod. “Call me crazy.”

Grayson shifts closer in his seat, his pink tongue darting out to lick those plump lips. You mirror him, and this time you take the initiative to reach out for his hand. It’s warm and strong, just like the rest of him.

Like earlier, you watch your hands lightly caressing each other as you speak. “And I love that you come on strong. And that you put your heart out there.” You interlace your fingers, immediately in love with the contrast of his huge ones between your slim ones. “Makes things way easier for me.”

He grins wide. “There’s that sass again.”

You bite your lip through your smirk and tug him close to you with your clasped hands, your free one reaching behind his neck to drag his lips to yours. “Mm. Better shut me up, then.”

[grumpydevilfellow]

After two days of on and off spawn hunting and resetting my game multiple times I finally got BIG. DADDY. 

Yall I’m sorry I gotta rant, but this guy is REALLY hard to get like REAAALLY HARD. Because he literally only spawns in one area in the entire game (during the day not at night; made that mistake and every possible other one I could while trying to get this fucker) AND because he shares his only spawn area with THREE OTHER YOKAI so if you find the wrong one you gotta save beforehand, reset the game, go to the spot again, and hope your yokai watch is picking up a Rank A yokai in the area because that when you know it’s Papa Bolt. to top that off there’s also the chance that area won’t spawn anything at all if you enter it! Which of course results in another reset.

So you literally have a 1/5 chance of finding this dude in his only spawn area. You’d think that would be enough of a challenge right? Oh ho ho we’re just getting started... It’s not enough to just find Yokai and throw some sort of enslavement ball at them no the Yokai have to WANT to be a part of your team in other words, you gotta befriend them and befriending Yokai is quite easily the most frustrating mechanic in the game that really just deadass relies on luck and the stars aligning even for the weaker Yokai.

You gotta have a Yokai on your team with the Popularity ability which makes befriending enemy Yokai more likely. There’s only 5 Yokai in the game with this ability, but realistically you really only have the option of picking 2 out of those 5 for reasons I don’t feel like explaining but will. Just know your real choices are either Cupistol who evolves w the same ability or Shmoopie who evolves w the same ability. Then there’s like one more but he’s S rank and probably only attainable end game or through a lucky draw. So yea 5 theoretically but realistically you’re picking Cupistol or Shmoopie and that’s just your teammate forever if you want more Yokai. (at least their evolve forms are cute to look at)

Speaking of which having the Popularity ability isn’t enough along with the other usual methods used for befriending Yokai. Turns out you need a Superstar Soul that you equip any Yokai you want with and its ability is basically Popularity, but better like oh my god give me a break game. So fine how do I get this Freddy Fazbear ass soul? You gotta do PART 1 of some girl makeover mission then locate the same girl in a different part of the huge ass map, do PART 2 which involves finding a classmate in a ridiculously hidden spot you will def need a guide to even figure out they’re there, and then after completing the mission you get a Love Scepter item which only use is to literally be fused with Shmoopie and make them evolve. So you go to the fusion guy and have him fuse Shmoopie with the stick to make them evolve into Pinkipoo and then you gotta take your new and fairly difficult to evolve yokai, and essentially fucking destroy it and turn it into a soul via the soul guy not to be confused with the fusion guy who does a totally different thing. (rolls eyes) Anyways once you get the soul of one Pinkipoo you gotta fuse that soul with the soul of a Cupistol so you’re thinking hmm this requires fusion right? Better go to the fusion guy. Welp these are souls. Souls aren’t his bag. Fusion is; even tho you’re literally tryin to fuse something right now. So finish wasting that trip, go back to the soul guy. F U S E the Pinkipoo and Cupistol souls together and boom you got the superstar soul. Good Job Superstar! ( I don’t feel good...)

Now you may be thinking at this point 2 things. One may be “Uh what happened to trying to get Papa Bolt why tf do you have to do all of this unrelated stuff and are you done and can get back to trying to get him?”. To answer that question, no not even remotely lmao you want that rare Yokai? Suffer for it.

Your other question may be “OK so you worked hard to get the Freddy Fazbear soul. Got it. Does it stack with the Popularity ability you mentioned before?” And to answer that question...No one really fucking knows. We know Popularity by itself does not stack IE having 2 Cupistols on your team increasing your chances of winning over enemy Yokai, but as for Popularity and Superstar Soul being on the same team and thus stacking abilities and increasing your chances of befriending enemy Yokai, we just don’t know. A bunch of Japanese sites swear up and down they don’t stack, but as far as us American users know, no one has datamined the game and given the exact percentages over this whole deal.

Thing is tho, after all the shit you’ve done and how hard it is to even find Papa Bolt alone, are you gonna risk it? Are you gonna take the chance? Of course not. So whether or not they actually stack is neither here or there. You’re gonna do it anyways for your sanity alone. lmao

Next you gotta buy Papa Bolt’s favorite food like a bunch of it. Turns out his favorite food is suishi and the version that helps you befriend him the most is 7 bucks a piece so get that wallet out. After that you gotta design a team based around catching Papa Bolt which involved me doing a bunch of trial n error battles of finding out what kills him, but doesn’t kill him too quickly so I can do all the befriending options before I seal the deal. Needless to say that process was frustrating.

Would’ve been even more frustrating if I hadn’t made Chummer (cool looking Shark yokai) essentially my Pikachu for the entire game. He has some really great abilities for catching Yokai the two mainly being his Ultimate, Sharkskin Shield, which raises his defense and draws in all enemy attacks and his Inspiriting move (this move which all yokai have, places a curse or blessing on other yokai) Loitering which makes enemy yokai loaf around and literally do nothing for a turn. So my strat for Chummer was make him fairly tanky while still having a strong attack and change his nature to Twisted so he’ll inspirit enemy Yokai with his Loitering curse frequently and keep them docile/inactive.

That worked out really well in my favor for catching Papa Bolt because you HAVE to inspirit him with a curse in order to increase your chances of befriending him. When you inspirit a Yokai and gain the second Yokai watch, you can activate the Poke feature which involves using your stylus to literally poke the enemy Yokai repeatedly for different effects. You then gotta poke around until you find the spot on the Yokai that puts out heart emojis and then hammer away at that spot for an increase in your chances of befriending them. (no it was never the crotch...)

Keep in mind you have to do all of this while not accidentally killing them because your Yokai are too strong...

Inspirit him, poke him (pray you can find the right spot before the poke timer runs out or you gotta start all over and it will be in a new spot this time...), practically shove sushi down his mouth whenever the item button for enemies isn’t on cooldown, while making sure you got Popularity and Superstar soul on your team. I had to redo my equip items and only equip my attackers with items that boosted defense and drained attack because you literally gotta draw the battle out as long as possible and I was killing Papa Bolt too fast. I had already swapped out my team to Chummer, another yokai who mainly healed/had fairly weak attacks, and Baddude who has a ridiculously high attack but misses frequently. I chose Baddude because his attacks miss a lot and his ultimate inspirits meaning I’d have control over when Papa Bolt gets inspirited vs waiting on Chummer to do it which might still take forever even tho his nature is literally to do that first. But Baddudes ultimate also does dmg and that wasn’t working cuz I’d still kill them too fast. So I just ended up waiting on Chummer and was considering swapping out Baddude all together having to raise the perf yokai to take his place. It would’ve been a defensive guarding yokai with a good inspirit ability that like lowers atk or makes them loaf idk.

Turns out I didn’t have to do any of that though because I paused my game when I found Papa Bolt for like the 35th time while I was at work, got home like 8 hours later, opened the game and just ended up befriending him! Heck yea it’s been a wild ride and I’m glad I got him. Def gonna have to work on getting a guarding yokai just so this situation doesn’t happen again. Lmao

[conservativetranny]

2020 blog update

Hello. No idea if any of you ‘remember’ me but I do seem to have a fair few followers on here. I managed to access the login information for this account and it is safe to say this blog is dead. I denounce everything I stood for on this stupid shit. 

I’m writing this because it’s what the blog deserves. Not looking to be dramatic, not looking for sympathy, in fact I think i’ll get a bit of backlash for this but bring it on. 

The past and the present- a summary

I had this blog when I was 14, unfortunately way too young to have a social media presence (one which carried any responsibility like this one anyway). No matter what age I said I was, no matter how I portrayed myself or how you, my followers interpreted me, I was a sad young trans guy desperately hoping to look big, cool, masculine and stoic, and that manifested in the most toxic way possible. 

I’m 17 now, still very very young, and after developments in my life, especially pursuing my medical transition and becoming happy within myself, I no longer hold such toxic beliefs as I once did. I am happier with myself and no longer feel the need to sacrifice others’ dignity, respect, and unfortunately sometimes on this blog, privacy, for my own. I was a very insecure, stubborn, and ignorant teenager, who dealt with a lot of denial. I’m not blaming the way I treated people online on other factors, but of course external factors came into play. I was dealing with bullying and insecurity, with parental problems, and with loneliness and depression. I seeked some sort of community, and I wanted to push myself away from the ‘weak’ trans community (the way I viewed it at the time). I wasn’t in denial personally, with the fact that I was trans (being gay is a different story- I was in complete denial with the fact that I’m gay), more just with the way other people viewed me (I will expand on this). I could elaborate on the way in which I viewed other people and the way that projected onto my conduction online, but it is a complex and confusing story. I have completely changed my viewpoint on trans ‘discourse’, I am open minded, I am close friends with people I would have turned my ignorant nose up at years ago. I am so proud to say that I am a completely different person now. I grow every day, it seems, and I can assure that I will never return to this ignorant mindset.

Growth

With experience, I have grown too. Obviously, from 14-17 i have become more mature. I have different experiences now as well, for example, I don’t bind often at all really anymore, because its more comfortable and can sometimes make me more dysphoric to know I am binding. I’m bringing this up because I bet you back when I was active on this blog, I would’ve laughed at the more mature, tolerant me, and probably went on a tyrade about how I was a fake trans guy or less of a man for not binding. I often wonder what ‘old me’ would think of ‘new me’. Now obviously, three years isn’t a hell of a big difference, but to a 17 come 18 year old it is. I understand I am not an adult yet, but I’ve always taken pride in conducting myself with a sense of maturity and articulacy, and for this post and platform especially I feel it is appropriate.

The Truscum Mindset

Back when I ran this blog, I was in an echo chamber of like minded people, which didn’t help my ideological development. I watched youtubers like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah, who I thought gave me a balanced, moderate, and fair opinion which is clear is not the case. Back then I would’ve scoffed at the idea of Blaire and Kalvin and other similar people as being radical or a gateway, but I urge you, if you feel you are slipping to obsession with those ideologies, to seek to widen your opinions and associations. I understand it’s a fairly niche discourse topic, but for me it opened a wider rabbit hole into the alt right. From wanting to fit into the lgbt and wider communities as a masculine male, this opened up the black hole of the alt right, I browsed (now deleted) subreddits and 4chan boards, and forums that put me in a very negative and dangerous place. If you’d like me to make a post elaborating on this, I am more than happy to, but this post is to address conservativetranny.

Denial and owning up to responsibility

Back in 2017/18, I was very much in denial of certain aspects of myself, especially my sexuality. I am gay. I thought that this was, and especially as a trans guy, a demasculating quality. I still deal with those feelings sometimes, as a lot of young gay guys do, but thankfully it does not manifest itself as toxic as it once did. I just wanted to portray myself online as how I thought I wanted to be viewed-I didn’t want to be viewed like ‘any other trans guy’. I wanted to be different, but now I can appreciate individuality and I can also embrace being trans as well.

I used to think that having alt views was the coolest thing ever, which contributed to my slip into the alt right, something on which I’ll elaborate on in later posts. I am now an advocate for deradicalisation, and being rational, truly rational. I’m also an advocate for maturity and owning up to your mistakes.

I have hurt people, especially in my personal life, throughout my time as a stupid, thoughtless immature teenager and i am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for that. I now respect the hell out of those people and unfortunately, but definitely rightfully so, they have lost their respect for me. I don’t blame them, because as I said, up until very recently I was a horrible, toxic person. With maturity, in the past half a year I have been able to own up to my mistakes and I am now taking responsibility for that. No excuses, because I was a shitty person. Of course there is a line between excuses and justification, and I hope those which are reading this can distinguish and appreciate this difference.

Self Hatred and Truscum

Back when I ran this blog, it was very easy to tell I was self hating. Everything I wrote on here, pretty much, was hateful except for the odd two posts that were about something unrelated to my ideology. I was extremely dysphoric and in a bad place when I wrote these things and certainly projected my insecurities onto others. I wanted to find a community of different thinking people that would accept me, and this community was certainly the wrong turn. I had a feeling that it was wrong at the time, but I was too naive and cowardly to own up to it and seek a way out. I kind of just naturally fell out of it, a a lot of things happened in my personal life in late 2018 that forced me out of trans discourse and into much more toxic places like the alt right and true crime fandoms, and I think I’ve only recently ‘found myself’ in the past year or so. I might make a post on self growth on the future as I intend to keep this blog to elaborate and voice my opinions on deradicalisation and highlight the importance of owning up and self awareness.

Don’t fall into the rabbithole

I’m not too acquainted with trans discourse anymore, so I’m out of the loop on this one, but I’d imagine that there’s still ‘transmed vs tucute’ ideas. Kalvin Garrah’s community comes to mind, I haven’t watched his videos ‘as a fan’, if that makes sense, for a while now but I am aware he has a large fanbase of young trans teens that were in a similar mindset to where I was back when I ran this blog. I would love for this post to reach his opposers and supporters for that matter, as a means to show them that they don’t have to fall into this cycle of hate which can be very damaging. I used to be an avid fan of Kalvin, and Blaire White, amongst others. I watched exclusively their content alone and formed my opinions around theirs. If you’re doing that now, I urge you to consider other people when you do. Think about the people like Brennan Beckwith, people who were severely impacted and hurt by hateful rhetoric. Those people are human too, and with maturity you will learn that people with different experiences and views are, at the end of the day, the same as you, and they have feelings as well .I’m going to make a post in the future about Kalvin Garrah, certainly, but maybe Blaire White as well.

Why now?

You may be wondering why this post is being made now of all times, and that is a question that has every right to be asked. I feel as if this timing is right because I finally possess the level of maturity needed to own up to my mistakes and tell you that I was wrong and it was certainly wrong to post those opinions and mistakes online for all to see, and put people in my real life on blast like I did.

I had completely forgotten about this blog, and forgot about the rude and ignorant words I had written towards the people in my real life, until chance had it that I was in contact with one of the people mentioned in this post. [https://conservativetranny.tumblr.com/post/169351517511/no-one-pretends-to-be-trans]

I’m not going to go into the nuances of the conversation we had, but it turns out they had, for a while and definitely rightfully so been hurt by the fact that I had mentioned them, by name, in this post. And while I’d of course still like to keep these people anonymous and will not sacrifice their anonymity in order to tell a story or ‘save myself’, this post is quite funny to read back on as I am good friends with the people referred to as ‘P’ and ‘Shadow’ now.

This is the end of this post, as I feel I have said everything I have wanted to say regarding my previous conduct on this blog. I’m going to change my name on this blog and my bio as I do intend on further posts in the future. I’m not sure how many people, if any, this post will reach, but I’m satisfied I have written this anyway. I certainly do plan on writing future posts but I’m not exactly sure how to formulate them. But thank you so much for reading this far, and if you have, I appreciate it.

[xxbyimm]

25 oc questions: 🌟🌙❄️🔥🌻💎👀 and I know who you wanna talk about 😆

Lol, you do???? I have no idea... 

Thank you so much for asking me these questions, my dear sister from another mister! <3 I really enjoyed answering these.  🔥

🌟 When your OC loses all hope, who do they turn to first? What helps make them feel better? What calms them down and reassures them? Why?

Enya Blueheart always turns to her husband Thorin first. If something or someone is letting her down, she will needs his reassurance and support. Since a large part of their love language is physical touch, they’re often found hugging, kissing (among others things.. LOL). Within his arms, she feels safe and at home. Snuggling up with him in front of the fireplace is one of her favorite things in the world.

Secondly, Enya’s tiny pet dragon Dracarys never fails to make her laugh, because of he’s too stupid to be even alive to be honest. His cuteness has saved his tiny ass more than once!

When Thorin or Dracarys aren’t available, I can see Enya seeking comfort with Dís. Because Enya is about the same age as her sister-in-law’s sons, Dís is very protective of her.

 🌙 If your OC could have one wish come true what would it be and why? Would there be consequences to this wish or would they regret it once they get what they want? What would they give in return for this wish to come true?

Hmmm… Quest Enya has one wish in mind, but that one will get granted fairly easily and she has no regrets. At all… ;D

I think Queen Enya desperately longs for some private time with her king. And with this I don’t mean quality time in their private quarters, but more like an equivalent of a holiday we humans have. She wants to go on an adventure with him, explore Middle Earth and have long, passioned make out sessions without having to worry which member of the court is playing peeping Tom. The consequence of this wish would be that the kingdom has to survive without its’ king and queen for a few weeks, but I think they’ll survive…

 ❄️ What makes your OC sad, so sad that they can’t help but cry all day? How do they cheer themself up? Does their sadness upset any of their loved ones too?

Losing Thorin. As we’ll see in the upcoming chapters of Enya’s journey, losing Thorin will devastate her. There’s no cheering up from that. At that point, En just wants to crawl into a hole and die.  

 🔥 If your OC known for having temper tantrums? If not, what gets them really angry? What makes their blood BOIL? Is there anyway to calm them down or are they unstoppable? What are they like when they’re angry? Do they take it out on their loved ones?

UM, YES! We’re talking about a bloody fire-witch here! Enya is notorious for her temper tantrums, in which she sometimes loses control over her powers (a.k.a. setting the bed on fire). She despises arrogant people, females who dare to even look at her husband (Dolvira and Elmilynn are honorable mentions) and gender inequality.

Calming this sassy lady down isn’t easy, especially when she has turned into a literal fireball. But somehow (I’m not sure how he does it), Thorin manages. He listens to what she has to say or simply distracts her from the topic that’s enraging her.

 🌼 Write a short drabble from your OCs POV meeting their LI (or if they don’t have a love interest, their best friend. If you don’t want to do a drabble, describe their first meeting instead!)

Oh yass!! If you don’t mind, I took a snippet from the remastered Enya’s Unexpected Journey series I’m currently writing!

‘Ouch!’

She landed on something hard and unrelenting. Next thing she knew, the world was literally spinning on its axis and she was lying under a gruffy, very angry man with long, dark manes and a beard. The fight was over before it even had begun and Enya found herself being pinned firmly on the ground, a sharp blade pushing against her throat. She hissed in pain as her assailant’s deep blue eyes flashed over her, scanning the level of danger from his current foe.

Even to someone as inexperienced in combat as she was, it was clear that the man was overpowering her in both strength as deadliness. Resistance was futile. Enya stopped writhing under his tight grip and the can containing her only way to defend herself, rolled onto the ground.

‘Honestly, my dear.’ Her mind huffed. ‘Are you even trying to escape or what?’

For a moment, they were taking each other in and emerald eyes burned into their pale blue counterparts. Aside from those gorgeous eyes that looked straight into the depths of her soul, the man possessed a characteristic nose and a carefully kept -though no less majestic- beard. His mouth was set in a grim line. A strand of his unruly, dark hair brushed over her face. His scent, a mix between tobacco, musk and worn leather, was both soothing and intoxicating.

Good gracious. He was hot…

 💎 Does your OC collect anything? Is there a reason? When did they start and is it beginning to turn into a little bit of a hoarding issue? What do they do with their collection?

I don’t think that other than pets, Enya doesn’t really collects anything. She loves animals and once Dracarys bonded with her there was no going back. Thorin often jokes that Erebor is a kingdom, not a farmhouse… xD

 👀 Describe your OC through the eyes of another person! (bonus + specify who)

This is a snippet from a chapter I have yet to write!! Lady Dís meets Enya!

A slender female clad in black appeared behind her trusted informant Daniel. Dís, who wasn’t used to Dan bringing companions with him- especially not ones covering their face with a hood-, arched a brow. Dan caught her gaze and grunted something incomprehensible, making the princess of Durin smile. The poor ranger just couldn’t help himself, could he? He always had to play the hero.

‘I don’t remember asking you to bring me anything other than information, Dan.’ She spoke. ‘Who’s this?’

The female lowered her hood and a wave of chestnut brown locks fell over her shoulders. She had pretty, delicate features and though the lack of any apparent facial hair (not even a slight sideburn) was a bit disappointing, the fiery, determined gaze in her pale blue eyes made up for it. But there was something else. A small flicker in her gaze betrayed there was much recent hurt and heartbreak lurking beyond the surface. Whoever the girl was, she had been through much.

‘I’m sorry for intruding your home like this, lady Dís.’ The girl said, her light and melodic voice sounding polite but yet quite certain. ‘I didn’t mean to offend you.’

‘None taken.’ Dís replied. ‘What’s your name?’

‘My name is Enya Blueheart and I’m the last royal descendant of the firebeard clan.’

Ah, a dwarrowdam. Of royal ancestry no less! Dís neared her new acquaintance with curiosity. ‘You’re most welcome here, miss Blueheart.’ She said. ‘May I offer you something to drink and a place to rest? You look rather tired.’

‘Yes, thank you.’ Enya murmured as she let the princess of Durin guide her towards the long dining table near the fire.

‘My my.’ Dís muttered as her fingers accidently dug into Enya’s ribcage. ‘You are too thin for my liking. If I may inquire… Who broke you?’

@criminaly-supernatural, do you approve of this Dís and Enya scene? ;D

[mallowstep]

nursery things

when do queens move into the nursery?

also it is very important to me that kits call their parents by their names

this lost all formatting when i pasted it but i need to sleep in literally three mintues enjoy

gestation

cats have a gestation period of about 2 months. for the sake of cat ease, we'll say they think of it as a full season, but obviously they don't know if they're pregnant until as little as a moon before they give birth. this is not factually what is occuring, it's what they think, because that means kits become apprentices at nine moons, a holy number.

anyway, cats will show at three weeks to an experienced eye. at four weeks, they'll have a bit of morning sickness. by five weeks, they'll be able to feel the kits development. so that's uh, about 5 weeks before they give birth?

i'm really bad at math i'm sorry.

after that, they're going to grow rapidly and become unfit for patrols fairly quickly. i'm trying to construct a timeline for the fourth apprentice and the poppyfrost drama, but if berrynose knew poppyfrost's kits were coming, he probably had a point.

i mean, she didn't have to move into the nursery, that was overzealous, and she had some time before she couldn't serve as a warrior, but pregnant queens are not exactly mobile.

like mate. she's not going anywhere.

queen madness

i've talked about this a lot and i'm kind of rushing to get this out bc i have a midterm tomorrow so i'm going to bed in 15 minutes regardless of whether or not i post/queue something but i don't want to cheat by uploading allegiances for something i wasn't planning on writing allegiances for (plus those always take me forever) and fuck i'm getting to the point

look. i've talked a lot about this and i don't have anything new to say.

queens. they get overprotective.

frankly, squilf refusing to take young kits back to camp and them hiding under her tail is a fucking trope in my fic.

i don't even know how that's possible, and yet.

fading

so there's this cat equivalent of sids (sudden infant death syndrome) where young (feral) kits just kind of...don't live.

it's also pretty similar to what's called "failure to thrive"

anyway all of these things are interesting go look them up (sad tho be forewarned, also re. failure to thrive lots of very unethical decisions.)

but anyway, i've introduced this concept as fading for several reasons.

one, it explains the vanishing kits problem.

two, it explains why so many kits die despite having socialized medicine with around 95-99% cure rates.

three, it's a good folklore thing. like, queens are scared of this. they're anxious about it. especially in leaf-bare. it adds a good bit of filler drama and all that.

four, more cat biology accuracy.

anyway, this is marked by a kit failing to grow properly. there's nothing wrong with them, they just...never "get on board."

i'm not digging it out now but i have a quote somewhere that's basically "well, she's quiet and calm, but she's growing, so i don't think she's going to die in her sleep."

anyway, this is basically my merciful catchall for kit death. sue me, that's one of my lines.

(but wait, i hear you say, didn't you literally write a fic involving neonaticide and neonaticannabalism? i made that word up i can't spell for shit tho. well, yes, however, those are not character kits, they are plot devices, and you know it. so it doesn't cross the line. i didn't give them personalities for a reason.)

so yeah. okay 10 minutes left and two more sections i can do this.

birthdays (birth days)

heh no one fucking cares.

about, like, the human concept of a birth day.

no, so queens will know they're going to kit soon up to a week beforehand. hazy sources, i'm sorry, provide on request.

again i'm rushin.

right anyway so queens are pretty Aware as you will, and so there's plenty of time to prep the nursery. or other location. that's fairly common in green-leaf, but the clan works real hard to avoid it in the other seasons because it's significantly riskier.

but anyway, a separate kitting nest is provided, and because these are near human levels of intelligence, the cats don't have problems figuring shit out. the other kits are cleared out to the elders den for as many as three nights (kitting can take up to 40 hours), and it's usually the queen's wish to spend a night w her mate. (a) because parents and (b) because safety instincts.

(also as an only vaguely unrelated side, i've recommended "the minor fall, the major life" before and i can't say too much now because i don't have 15 minutes to reread the whole thing i read 1k words a minute and type 100 words a minute how do you think i publish so much but there's some funny? i think it's funny stuff where redtail is all "you know it's kind of concerning how willowpelt keeps having children with no clear father")

and uh, yeah. queens usually track their kits birth to the nearest whole or half moon depending on the clan. there's usually a transitional day ceremony and a mid season ceremony, kits are done when the queens decide they're mature, usually erring over six moons, but on occasion, erring under.

as far as i'm concerned, cinder/bracken/thorn/bright situations never happen. i never remember the four of them are littermates because of that.

moving on i have like 1 minute fuck i forgot i need to brush my teeth

kinship terms

i've already started work on a separate piece for this but.

kits call everyone by their name. they might stumble over it, and those become nicknames, the way young kids do, but please remove every instance of a kit calling "mama" and replace it with either a generic meow or their mother's name.

this is important to me. it just doesn't make sense for the clan to do this, imo, because we see no other terms to refer to people, not even a father term. kits canonically call their fathers by their name (skyclan and the stranger.) anyway i'll talk more about this later i'm out of time.

conclusion

love u bye <3

[nyxi-styx]

Unexpected

Fandom: Sanders Sides Ship: None  Words: 1097 Rating: E for everyone Warnings: light angst, swearing Characters: c!Thomas Sanders, Remus Sanders, Logan Sanders, mentions of Joan and the other sides Additional Tags: hurt/comfort, could be seen as Intrumas if you want but it’s intended platonic A/N: I was having feelings about Joan and Talyn moving and so I came up with this idea and hurt my own feelings in the process. Also, this is not my best writing because I haven’t been in the best mental space the past couple of days for unrelated reasons and I wrote to try to make myself feel better.

Thomas‌ ‌had‌ ‌known‌ ‌it‌ ‌was‌ ‌coming.‌ ‌He‌ ‌had‌ ‌time‌ ‌to‌ ‌come‌ ‌to‌ ‌terms‌ ‌with‌ ‌it.‌ ‌Of‌ ‌course‌ ‌it‌ ‌was‌ ‌their‌ ‌decision.‌ ‌They’re‌ ‌adults‌ ‌and‌ ‌he‌ ‌only‌ ‌wished‌ ‌the‌ ‌best‌ ‌for‌ ‌them‌ ‌and‌ ‌their‌ ‌health‌ ‌and‌ ‌happiness.‌ ‌That‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌mean‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌excited‌ ‌about‌ ‌it.‌ ‌And‌ ‌it‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌mean‌ ‌it‌ ‌wasn’t‌ ‌difficult,‌ ‌bittersweet‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌way.‌

Patton‌ ‌and‌ ‌Virgil‌ ‌were‌ ‌taking‌ ‌it‌ ‌especially‌ ‌hard.‌ ‌He‌ ‌expected‌ ‌that.‌ ‌He‌ ‌was‌ ‌prepared.‌ ‌Virgil‌ ‌worried‌ ‌over‌ ‌losing‌ ‌the‌ ‌comfort‌ ‌of‌ ‌two‌ ‌of‌ ‌Thomas’‌ ‌closest‌ ‌friends.‌ ‌He‌ ‌wondered‌ ‌what‌ ‌it‌ ‌meant‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌future‌ ‌of‌ ‌Thomas’‌ ‌career‌ ‌given‌ ‌how‌ ‌much‌ ‌they‌ ‌helped‌ ‌create‌ ‌and‌ ‌produce‌ ‌everything.‌ ‌He‌ ‌wondered‌ ‌if‌ ‌they’d‌ ‌stop‌ ‌being‌ ‌Thomas’‌ ‌friend‌ ‌overall.‌ ‌After‌ ‌all,‌ ‌distance‌ ‌could‌ ‌be‌ ‌hard‌ ‌to‌ ‌maintain.‌

Logan‌ ‌was‌ ‌dutiful‌ ‌in‌ ‌mollifying‌ ‌both‌ ‌Virgil‌ ‌and‌ ‌Thomas,‌ ‌reminding‌ ‌them‌ ‌that‌ ‌with‌ ‌technology,‌ ‌distance‌ ‌hardly‌ ‌mattered‌ ‌anymore‌ ‌and‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌pandemic,‌ ‌much‌ ‌of‌ ‌their‌ ‌friendship‌ ‌was‌ ‌taking‌ ‌place‌ ‌on‌ ‌screens‌ ‌and‌ ‌over‌ ‌the‌ ‌phone‌ ‌anyway,‌ ‌so‌ ‌this‌ ‌wouldn’t‌ ‌be‌ ‌terribly‌ ‌different.‌ ‌Patton‌ ‌alternated‌ ‌between‌ ‌reminiscing‌ ‌and‌ ‌crying.‌ ‌There‌ ‌wasn’t‌ ‌much‌ ‌anyone‌ ‌could‌ ‌do‌ ‌to‌ ‌pacify‌ ‌him‌ ‌but‌ ‌partake‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌reminiscing‌ ‌and‌ ‌offering‌ ‌hugs‌ ‌and‌ ‌tissues‌ ‌when‌ ‌he‌ ‌would‌ ‌dissolve‌ ‌to‌ ‌tears.‌

‌Roman‌ ‌had‌ ‌feelings‌ ‌about‌ ‌it‌ ‌of‌ ‌course,‌ ‌but‌ ‌not‌ ‌quite‌ ‌as‌ ‌much‌ ‌as‌ ‌the‌ ‌others.‌ ‌And‌ ‌Janus…‌ ‌was‌ ‌Janus.‌ ‌There‌ ‌was‌ ‌no‌ ‌telling‌ ‌how‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌felt‌ ‌about‌ ‌it‌ ‌as‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌see‌ ‌much‌ ‌of‌ ‌him‌ ‌anyway.‌ ‌Sometimes‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌forgot‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌even‌ ‌had‌ ‌a‌ ‌physical‌ ‌presence‌ ‌due‌ ‌to‌ ‌how‌ ‌infrequently‌ ‌he‌ ‌saw‌ ‌him.‌ 

‌“Ah,‌ ‌fork.”‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌looked‌ ‌down‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌spilled‌ ‌coffee‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌kitchen‌ ‌floor.‌ ‌That‌ ‌was‌ ‌weird.‌ ‌He‌ ‌definitely‌ ‌meant‌ ‌to‌ ‌say‌ ‌‘fuck’‌ ‌so‌ ‌why‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌it‌ ‌come‌ ‌out?‌ ‌He‌ ‌blinked‌ ‌and‌ ‌wiped‌ ‌up‌ ‌the‌ ‌coffee‌ ‌with‌ ‌some‌ ‌paper‌ ‌towels.‌ ‌

‌Joan‌ ‌texted‌ ‌him‌ ‌a‌ ‌dirty‌ ‌joke‌ ‌once‌ ‌they‌ ‌got‌ ‌settled‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌night‌ ‌in‌ ‌their‌ ‌new‌ ‌place‌ ‌with‌ ‌Talyn.‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌wrinkled‌ ‌his‌ ‌nose‌ ‌at‌ ‌it‌ ‌instead‌ ‌of‌ ‌laughing‌ ‌and‌ ‌riffing‌ ‌off‌ ‌of‌ ‌it‌ ‌as‌ ‌usual.‌ ‌‘You‌ ‌okay,’‌ ‌Joan‌ ‌asked.‌ ‌‘Yeah‌ ‌of‌ ‌course.‌ ‌Why,’‌ ‌was‌ ‌Thomas’‌ ‌simple‌ ‌response.‌ ‌

More‌ ‌news‌ ‌regarding‌ ‌the‌ ‌state‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌world‌ ‌on‌ ‌his‌ ‌Twitter‌ ‌feed.‌ ‌Great.‌ ‌“Oh,‌ ‌shirt.”‌ ‌He‌ ‌made‌ ‌a‌ ‌face.‌ ‌That‌ ‌was‌ ‌definitely‌ ‌weird.‌ ‌“Shirt.‌ ‌What‌ ‌the‌ ‌heck?‌ ‌I‌ ‌couldn’t‌ ‌say‌ ‌fork‌ ‌and‌ ‌now‌ ‌I‌ ‌can’t‌ ‌say‌ ‌shirt?”‌ ‌It‌ ‌was‌ ‌like‌ ‌an‌ ‌episode‌ ‌of‌ ‌The‌ ‌Good‌ ‌Place,‌ ‌except‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌pretty‌ ‌sure‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌still‌ ‌alive.‌ ‌What‌ ‌was‌ ‌going‌ ‌on?‌ ‌He’d‌ ‌never‌ ‌experience‌ ‌anything‌ ‌like‌ ‌this‌ ‌before.‌ ‌Was‌ ‌Patton‌ ‌censoring‌ ‌him‌ ‌from‌ ‌himself‌ ‌for‌ ‌some‌ ‌reason?‌ ‌He‌ ‌summoned‌ ‌his‌ ‌Moral‌ ‌side‌ ‌and‌ ‌was‌ ‌told‌ ‌that‌ ‌Patton‌ ‌wasn’t‌ ‌censoring‌ ‌him.‌ ‌Janus‌ ‌appeared‌ ‌to‌ ‌confirm‌ ‌that‌ ‌Patton‌ ‌was‌ ‌in‌ ‌fact‌ ‌telling‌ ‌the‌ ‌truth-‌ ‌this‌ ‌was‌ ‌getting‌ ‌complicated-‌ ‌and‌ ‌so‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌summoned‌ ‌Logan,‌ ‌hoping‌ ‌for‌ ‌answers‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌logical‌ ‌side.‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

“Well,‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌fairly‌ ‌certain‌ ‌that‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌is‌ ‌in‌ ‌charge‌ ‌of‌ ‌vulgarities‌ ‌and‌ ‌the‌ ‌like,‌ ‌meaning‌ ‌something‌ ‌is‌ ‌wrong‌ ‌with‌ ‌Remus.‌ ‌Have‌ ‌you‌ ‌checked‌ ‌with‌ ‌him?”‌ ‌

‌“No,‌ ‌I‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌think--‌ ‌you‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌think‌ ‌he‌ ‌could‌ ‌be‌ ‌offline,‌ ‌do‌ ‌you?”‌

‌Logan‌ ‌shrugged.‌ ‌“It’s‌ ‌hard‌ ‌to‌ ‌say.‌ ‌You’re‌ ‌not‌ ‌as‌ ‌affected‌ ‌as‌ ‌you‌ ‌were‌ ‌when‌ ‌Virgil‌ ‌disconnected.‌ ‌It’s‌ ‌less‌ ‌obvious.”‌ ‌ ‌

Thomas‌ ‌nodded.‌ ‌All‌ ‌he‌ ‌could‌ ‌do‌ ‌was‌ ‌try.‌ ‌So‌ ‌he‌ ‌attempted‌ ‌to‌ ‌summon‌ ‌the‌ ‌duke.‌ ‌No‌ ‌results.‌ ‌He‌ ‌tried‌ ‌again.‌ ‌Still‌ ‌nothing.‌ ‌Patton‌ ‌made‌ ‌an‌ ‌attempt.‌ ‌Nothing.‌ ‌Logan‌ ‌sighed‌ ‌and‌ ‌made‌ ‌an‌ ‌attempt‌ ‌himself,‌ ‌finally‌ ‌yielding‌ ‌results‌ ‌as‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌appeared‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌living‌ ‌room‌ ‌with‌ ‌them.‌ ‌

It‌ ‌was‌ ‌immediately‌ ‌clear‌ ‌to‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌that‌ ‌something‌ ‌was‌ ‌wrong.‌ ‌The‌ ‌duke‌ ‌lacked‌ ‌his‌ ‌sparkly‌ ‌regalia‌ ‌and‌ ‌in‌ ‌fact‌ ‌wasn’t‌ ‌even‌ ‌in‌ ‌his‌ ‌birthday‌ ‌suit,‌ ‌instead‌ ‌wearing‌ ‌an‌ ‌oversized‌ ‌black‌ ‌sweatshirt‌ ‌over‌ ‌an‌ ‌extra‌ ‌short‌ ‌pair‌ ‌of‌ ‌green‌ ‌shorts.‌ ‌The‌ ‌light,‌ ‌glee,‌ ‌and‌ ‌mischief‌ ‌were‌ ‌gone‌ ‌from‌ ‌his‌ ‌normally‌ ‌bright‌ ‌brown‌ ‌eyes.‌ ‌Everything‌ ‌about‌ ‌him‌ ‌seemed‌ ‌dull,‌ ‌lifeless…‌ ‌sad.‌ ‌It‌ ‌broke‌ ‌Thomas’‌ ‌heart.‌ ‌

‌“Remus?‌ ‌What’s‌ ‌wrong?”‌ ‌ ‌ ‌Folding‌ ‌his‌ ‌arms‌ ‌defensively,‌ ‌the‌ ‌duke‌ ‌shook‌ ‌his‌ ‌head,‌ ‌not‌ ‌responding‌ ‌right‌ ‌away‌ ‌and‌ ‌not‌ ‌even‌ ‌looking‌ ‌at‌ ‌Thomas.‌ ‌

“Remus,‌ ‌please.‌ ‌I‌ ‌can‌ ‌see‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌not‌ ‌yourself.”‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌was‌ ‌genuinely‌ ‌worried‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌Side;‌ ‌as‌ ‌unpleasant‌ ‌as‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌could‌ ‌be,‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌still‌ ‌cared‌ ‌about‌ ‌him,‌ ‌just‌ ‌as‌ ‌much‌ ‌as‌ ‌the‌ ‌rest.‌ ‌

‌Remus‌ ‌sighed‌ ‌and‌ ‌licked‌ ‌his‌ ‌lips,‌ ‌hesitant‌ ‌to‌ ‌answer.‌ ‌He‌ ‌shrugged.‌ ‌“I…‌ ‌just‌ ‌haven’t‌ ‌felt‌ ‌like‌ ‌working.”‌ ‌

“But--”‌ ‌

“You‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌like‌ ‌me.”‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌finally‌ ‌met‌ ‌Thomas’‌ ‌eyes,‌ ‌appearing‌ ‌smaller‌ ‌and‌ ‌more‌ ‌vulnerable‌ ‌than‌ ‌usual.‌ ‌“But‌ ‌Joan‌ ‌did.”‌ ‌

‌Thomas’‌ ‌heart‌ ‌crumbled‌ ‌at‌ ‌those‌ ‌words,‌ ‌not‌ ‌even‌ ‌noticing‌ ‌when‌ ‌Logan‌ ‌and‌ ‌Patton‌ ‌sank‌ ‌out‌ ‌to‌ ‌give‌ ‌them‌ ‌privacy.‌ ‌“Oh,‌ ‌Remus--”‌ ‌And‌ ‌it‌ ‌finally‌ ‌dawns‌ ‌on‌ ‌him.‌ ‌It‌ ‌makes‌ ‌sense.‌ ‌The‌ ‌swearing.‌ ‌The‌ ‌inappropriate‌ ‌or‌ ‌childish‌ ‌jokes.‌ ‌The‌ ‌majority‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌antics‌ ‌that‌ ‌ended‌ ‌up‌ ‌in‌ ‌blooper‌ ‌reels.‌ ‌Those‌ ‌were‌ ‌part‌ ‌of‌ ‌Remus’‌ ‌job.‌ ‌The‌ ‌feeling‌ ‌of‌ ‌warmth‌ ‌he‌ ‌would‌ ‌get‌ ‌when‌ ‌Joan‌ ‌would‌ ‌laugh‌ ‌at‌ ‌a‌ ‌particularly‌ ‌ridiculous‌ ‌joke…‌ ‌that‌ ‌was‌ ‌Remus’‌ ‌reaction‌ ‌to‌ ‌being‌ ‌rewarded‌ ‌for‌ ‌doing‌ ‌his‌ ‌job‌ ‌and‌ ‌doing‌ ‌it‌ ‌well.‌ ‌Of‌ ‌course‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌would‌ ‌be‌ ‌having‌ ‌a‌ ‌hard‌ ‌time‌ ‌with‌ ‌Joan’s‌ ‌move.‌ ‌ 

‌Though‌ ‌he was unsure ‌what‌ ‌would‌ ‌happen,‌ ‌the‌ ‌instinct‌ ‌to‌ ‌hug‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌and‌ ‌comfort‌ ‌him‌ ‌was‌ ‌too‌ ‌strong‌ ‌and‌ ‌so‌ ‌he‌ ‌crossed ‌the‌ ‌distance‌ ‌between‌ ‌them‌ ‌and‌ ‌wrapped‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌in‌ ‌his‌ ‌arms,‌ ‌hugging‌ ‌him‌ ‌tightly,‌ ‌surprised‌ ‌when‌ ‌he’s‌ ‌solid.‌ ‌It‌ ‌takes‌ ‌the‌ ‌duke‌ ‌a‌ ‌moment,‌ ‌but‌ ‌he‌ ‌soon‌ ‌wrapped‌ ‌his‌ ‌arms‌ ‌around‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌in‌ ‌turn,‌ ‌clinging‌ ‌to‌ ‌him,‌ ‌hugging‌ ‌him‌ ‌extraordinarily‌ ‌tightly.‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌almost‌ ‌felt‌ ‌suffocated,‌ ‌but‌ ‌if‌ ‌this‌ ‌is‌ ‌what‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌needed,‌ ‌he’s‌ ‌willing‌ ‌to‌ ‌give‌ ‌it.‌ ‌ ‌ ‌“Remus,‌ ‌I‌ ‌don’t…‌ ‌I‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌dislike‌ ‌you.‌ ‌It‌ ‌was‌ ‌scary‌ ‌at‌ ‌first,‌ ‌but‌ ‌now‌ ‌I‌ ‌know‌ ‌you‌ ‌a‌ ‌little‌ ‌better.‌ ‌You’re‌ ‌part‌ ‌of‌ ‌me‌ ‌like‌ ‌everyone‌ ‌else‌ ‌and‌ ‌you’re‌ ‌important.‌ ‌I‌ ‌love‌ ‌you‌ ‌just‌ ‌as‌ ‌much‌ ‌as‌ ‌I‌ ‌love‌ ‌the‌ ‌others.‌ ‌And‌ ‌I‌ ‌care‌ ‌about‌ ‌you.‌ ‌And‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌sorry‌ ‌I‌ ‌made‌ ‌you‌ ‌believe‌ ‌otherwise.‌ ‌I’m‌ ‌sorry‌ ‌I‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌think‌ ‌you’d‌ ‌be‌ ‌affected‌ ‌like‌ ‌the‌ ‌others.‌ ‌But‌ ‌I‌ ‌need‌ ‌you.‌ ‌And‌ ‌I‌ ‌know‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌hard,‌ ‌but‌ ‌we’ll‌ ‌get‌ ‌through‌ ‌this.‌ ‌Together.‌ ‌All‌ ‌of‌ ‌us.‌ ‌It’ll‌ ‌be‌ ‌okay.”‌ ‌A‌ ‌sniffle‌ ‌came‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌eccentric‌ ‌side‌ ‌and‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌felt‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌nod‌ ‌against‌ ‌his‌ ‌shoulder.‌ ‌He‌ ‌released‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌and‌ ‌looked‌ ‌at‌ ‌him.‌ ‌“Do‌ ‌you‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌call‌ ‌them?‌ ‌Would‌ ‌that‌ ‌make‌ ‌you‌ ‌feel‌ ‌better?‌ ‌They‌ ‌told‌ ‌me‌ ‌a‌ ‌joke‌ ‌earlier‌ ‌that‌ ‌you‌ ‌would‌ ‌have‌ ‌liked,‌ ‌but‌ ‌I‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌really‌ ‌react‌ ‌to‌ ‌it‌ ‌because…‌ ‌well,‌ ‌I‌ ‌need‌ ‌you.”

Remus‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌just‌ ‌a‌ ‌little‌ ‌and‌ ‌nodded.‌ ‌“Please?”‌ ‌ ‌

Thomas‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌back.‌ ‌“Okay.”‌ ‌He‌ ‌moved‌ ‌over‌ ‌and‌ ‌sat‌ ‌down‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌couch‌ ‌and‌ ‌picked‌ ‌up‌ ‌his‌ ‌phone,‌ ‌dialing‌ ‌Joan’s‌ ‌number.‌ ‌They‌ ‌answered‌ ‌and‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌talking‌ ‌to‌ ‌them‌ ‌as‌ ‌normal.‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌whispered‌ ‌a‌ ‌dirty‌ ‌joke‌ ‌in‌ ‌Thomas’‌ ‌ear‌ ‌which‌ ‌he‌ ‌then‌ ‌repeated‌ ‌out‌ ‌loud‌ ‌making‌ ‌Joan‌ ‌laugh.‌ ‌And‌ ‌Thomas‌ ‌felt‌ ‌that‌ ‌familiar‌ ‌warmth.‌ ‌He‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌at‌ ‌Remus‌ ‌and‌ ‌could‌ ‌already‌ ‌see‌ ‌the‌ ‌light‌ ‌returning‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌duke’s‌ ‌eyes.‌

[miraculousandbts]

RM | Baby Sister

Summary: Your brother visits you after a long time, and you’re the happiest person on Earth.

Pairing: Namjoon is y/n’s brother.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: y/n gets a little too overwhelmed and starts happy crying a little. Adorable Joon because that should be a warning.

You opened your eyes and let out an annoyed sigh. Your phone had been ringing for the past 10 minutes, and it was kept under your pillow, which meant you felt it vibrate near your head. You begrudgingly placed your hand under your pillow and searched for the object, taking it out when you touched it. You opened it and saw 5 missed calls from your brother.

"Joon?!" You sat up with a start, all thoughts of sleep long forgotten. Your brother finally had enough time to call you. Not once, but five times. You clutched the phone to your chest and smiled at nothing in particular. Then your phone rang again, almost giving you a heart attack. It was him again, you saw. Before you could pick up, you did a mini happy dance, which was basically just wiggling sitting in your bed looking like a homeless hobo with your bed hair.

You swiped the accept button and nearly screamed, remembering in the last minute that you just might blow your brothers' ear drums if you actually did scream. "Hey, baby sister." He greeted. "Joon!!!" You replied back, a little too enthusiastically. "Woah! Are you on a sugar rush this early in the morning?" He chuckled. "Nah, I just missed you a little too much."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, love. All this idol business is...you know." You did know. Being an Idol was not easy, especially if you were as famous as them. He wasn't only a part of the team, he was also the leader and the translator. Plus, handling six hyperactive kids was not an easy task. He had apologised countless times, giving the same reason again and again. You knew, at this point, he was getting fed up of himself. "It's okay, Joonie. I get it. And I'm proud of you, so don't apologise, just tell me when we'll be seeing each other again." You went from serious to yourself in a second without missing a beat.

"About that," he sounded full of life again, "we have to shoot a Run episode in a water park, and I may have suggested One Mount." You let out an excited squeal. "And the staff may have agreed." Hearing this, you yelled loudly. (Y'all will understand what I'm talking about if you've seen episode 13 of Run BTS! If you haven't, I'll tell you. One mount is a water park (I think) in Ilsan, Namjoon's hometown. They shot episode 13 there, so that's the excuse I'm using, cuz I'm a person who has a lot of ideas but they are completely unrelated to the topic. Thank you.)

You were meeting your brother in person after an year. An year! You both were very close before he became a trainee and suddenly didn't have any time for you because he was all the way in Seoul. You always knew about his dream about being a rapper though, so you always supported him in whatever decisions he made. Granted, you freaked out a little when he suddenly changed his hair style to an afro, of all things, but still, you were his sister, and you had to support your brother.

You were so happy, you felt like crying. You let out a sob and a hiccup involuntarily, and brought your free hand to cover your mouth. "Wait, shit, are you crying, love?" He sounded worried. "Aw, baby, don't cry." You might hate it when other people babied you and you might go around getting into fights with boys, but with your brother, you did a complete 180 and became his baby sister.

You sobbed again. "I-I'm fine. J-Just, we'll b-be seeing each o-other after such a-a long t-time..." you trailed off. "I know, love." You could practically imagine him sitting in his studio, smiling gently. "I love you, but I've gotta go right now. I still have some packing to do!" He said in a cheery voice. "I love you too." You simply replied while he hung up.

You wiped your tears, internally thankful you hadn't cried enough for your nose to get runny. You already looked like you had been dragged through a barbed wire fence backward with your hair open, the last thing you needed was a runny nose. Finally deciding to start your day, you get out of bed and head to the bathroom. You thanked the Gods it was a Sunday today, or you would have been running around the house wearing mismatched socks and uncombed hair looking for your car keys despite the fact that they're always kept at the same place, knowing you were late for college.

You randomly let out a giggle and hugged yourself tightly while brushing your teeth. You were meeting your brother again, and you couldn't be happier.

*****

Namjoon was excitedly packing a duffel bag with a few pair of clothes and other necessities, while a big grin was plastered on his face.

Taehyung and Jungkook entered the room while talking something about gaming. Namjoon wasn't even mad that they had not started packing yet, even though he knew how long Jungkook takes just to pack a duffel bag. "Uh, Namjoon hyung?" He looked at Taehyung, who was looking at him weirdly. "Stop smiling like that, it's creepy." Namjoon only shrugged and went back to packing.

"What are you so happy about anyway? I mean, I know we're going to Ilsan, but I did not see Taehyungie hyung, or Yoongi hyung grinning like idiots when we went to Daegu." Jungkook plopped down on the bed and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not excited because of that. I'm going to see y/n after an year." He dropped the shirt in his hand and sat down beside Jungkook, his expression changing to a gentle one.

Both the younger boys looked at each other and smiled. Taehyung was thinking about his younger siblings, while Jungkook smiled at the thought of his elder brother. All the members had siblings, either elder or younger, but they had also found family in each other.

"We'll leave you alone, because we know we won't be able to stop you from smiling, and it really is creepy." Taehyung took Jungkook's hand and pulled him outside. Namjoon sighed. He picked up his discarded shirt and put it in the bag, zipping it up. One more day, and he'll be hugging and kissing you like before.

*****

It was early in the evening. You were anxiously waiting for your brother at the airport.

He said he'd be there by now. You looked around, clutching your phone tightly. You noticed you had been doing that a lot recently. That's when it happened. You saw him. You smiled so big, you were afraid that your jaw would fall off. You let out a small giggle, and ran towards him. Not too fast, you did not want people to think you needed a mental asylum.

That's when he spotted you, and smiled a really big smile. When you neared, he opened his arms and you jumped on him, wrapping your arms around his neck, squeezing tightly. You missed him, so so much. "I feel like crying but I can't stop smiling. My cheeks hurt." You muttered, nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck. You heard him chuckle, and then he pulled back.

"Still so pretty." He pressed a light kiss on your forehead. You heard someone clearing their throat behind him, and that's when you remembered that he wasn't alone. Being his sister, you had met the other guys a couple of times, which was enough for you to get comfortable around them. You were that kind of person; it took you a very short time to make friends and remove the awkwardness people tend to have when meeting someone for the first time.

You looked back and gave them a smile. Seokjin smiled back at you and moved in for a hug. You gave him a side hug, while the rest of them followed. While you all exchanged greetings, two cars arrived, for all of you. "How did you come here?" Jungkook asked. If you had to choose who were the closest to, except Joon, you'd choose Jungkook, considering he was the closest to your age.

"In my car." You answered simply. "Can I go with y/n to her house before coming to the hotel?" You turned around at Namjoon's voice. He was asking this to his manager. The manager told him he could, while warning him to be on time and to be careful around paparazzi. He also jokingly told him to let you drive as he didn't have a driving license. Everyone knew Joon could be clumsy.

Everyone said their goodbyes and went to their respective destinations. You and Namjoon entered your car, while he complemented how you maintained it over the last few years when he gifted it to you. You had gotten into your dream university and had bought a small one bedroom flat near the said university.

He had told you how proud he was because your university was one of the biggest in the city, and getting in was hard. You had worked so hard, all the while doing a part time job to earn enough money to buy your own house. You were inspired by him, to work hard and not depend on anyone. The only thing your parents helped you with was making sure you were not overworking yourself and putting yourself in danger.

Shortly after you had gotten in, he had sent a small car as a birthday gift. You had almost cried that day. He had told you he didn't want you to take the bus every other day, or spend any more of your hard earned money on a car. Knowing you well, he had attached a card to the car which said that he knew you wouldn't accept it easily, and being your elder brother, he was ordering you to accept it wholeheartedly.

"So, how are your studies?" He asked, as soon as you started the car. The airport was fairly near to where you lived. "Good. I do wish that the teachers would give deadlines for projects accordingly though. The toughest ones have the shortest deadlines, while the easiest ones have the longest." You rolled your eyes. "Ah, I know the feeling. You work your butt off for a week for the harder ones, and something always goes wrong. Be it the spelling, or the wordings. And then you spend two weeks chilling, doing the project in a day, just waiting for the day you turn it in."

You both chortled. The drive was filled with laughs, while you both caught up with each other. You told him stories about what happened in your friend group, while he told you the boys' antics. His stories were absolutely hilarious.

You finally reached your apartment building, and parked the car. Helping him with his stuff, you both silently reached the elevator. Getting in, you pressed the button for your floor. A while later, you both found yourselves in your house.

"Go freshen up. I'll make dinner." You kept his stuff near the table, and pointed to the bathroom. "I like your style." He looked around and made his way towards the bathroom. "Stop complimenting yourself." You shook your head. You both knew how similar you both were. From your love for crabs and trees, to how you decorated your house, you had gotten almost everything from him.

You made some simple ramen, and you both had dinner quietly, making small talk. He looked tired, and you were ready to sleep too. You asked him to go to bed, promising you'll join him shortly. You cleaned everything up, and entered your room to take some pajamas. You can never forget the sight that awaited you.

Namjoon was curled up in a ball, hugging a pillow to his chest like a little koala, while snoring loudly. You cooed at the sight. It made him look like a baby, and for a moment, you felt like you were his elder sister, determined to protect your big baby at all costs. After silently taking out your pajamas from the closet and changing into them in the bathroom, you got in the bed.

He let out a small sigh, and moved closer to you, wrapping his arm around you torso. You remembered the old days, when you both would sleep together, and while he wasn't a big fan of cuddling, you both would end up doing just that. You weaved your fingers through his hair, and fell into a deep peaceful slumber.

[charmspoint]

Top 5 characters that live in your head rent free 🤔

For this ask meme

Oh god ONLY five??? GOOD QUESTION. This is gonna be hard to both decide on and rank fairly uhoh lets see, this ranking his shifty as hell depending on what I’m into atm obvs

5. Tsurugi Kamiya from Servamp

Does he look like a knock off Izaya? Yes. Is he? Very much no.

Tsurugi is like my no 1 reason for getting back into Servamp, I left right in the middle of his arc and I ;-; IS HE OKAY??? DID HE GET AWAY FROM TOUMA??? DID HE BECOME WRATHS EVE??? NOBODY TELL ME I’LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Servamp was one of those shows where I didn’t really have a fav main character for a good while until this guy showed up. This guy is an absolute crazy little monster I can’t overemphasize on this, his coat is used as a fucking straight jacket I’m not even kiddin

You get introduced to him and he’s scary and terrifying because he’s so strong, like he’s one of those strongest in the series characters and since he and the heroes are on semi opposing sides he is a serious threat. So you get introduced to this guy who seems borderline crazy and feral and then...you get to see him goofing off with his two boyfriends and their kid and it’s just

The domesticity!!!!Look at it!!!! It’s so fucking cute aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, they are so cute together OT3 of C3 ftw, MY SON. Like Tsurugi had a horribly abusive childhood and was basically raised like an attack dog and his previous partner :) well he do be trying to seriously kill him don’t he. But look! He found his own little family he can be semi normal in!! Until is torn apart by his abusive adoptive father figure :D!!! I ABANDONED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT ARC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im sorry this got so long on this particular character none of the others will be so long i just miss him TSURUGI ILL CATCH UP FOR YOU!!!! Maybe he should have been no 1 hbjhbjh fucking sleeper agents am i right

4. Izaya Orihara from Durarara

Ah yes, the og queen bitch. Has my taste for villains ever recovered from Izaya? No. If your villain isn’t at least a bit like Izaya I’m not interested. Durarara was one of my first serious fandoms and Izaya was the first character I ever wrote for and I think you can explain me as a person if you consider Izaya was my all time fav at 13. I can’t really say anything about Izaya that hasn’t been said thousands of times before, I love how goofy and overperformative he can be, I love how there’s so much in him once you crack him open, I love how good of a villain he is for a messy story such as DRRR, puppeteer villains are really a league of their own. We need more puppeteering twinks, maybe then I’d be more into villains yaknow.

3. Hawks from Boku no Hero Academia 

To no ones surprise!Him! I’ve been drifting off from BNHA recently what from catching bad case of JJK what from just reading n watching more other stuff and honestly that’s probably good because I’ve been into BNHA for a couple of years now as my main fandom and I really could have used a break. Not to say I don’t like BNHA anymore tbh I think right now BNHA is the best it’s ever been just ya know, drifting. That being said my love for Hawks will never die, god what a good boy and we got his backstory too aaa ;-;. BNHA was just like Servamp, something I liked but didn’t really have a fav character in until this random support character strolled in and won my heart. God I love how much we got on Hawks. He’s completely different from his initial impression and his unrelenting strive to do good despite being thrown from one horrible situation to the next is just ;-; HES SUCH A GOOD BOY. He’s selfless to a fault, literally putting everyone before himself and putting himself down for not being able to achieve more than is humanly possible I’m just ;-; I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. He just makes my heart happy, he’s good and warm and hardworking and in a manga where trauma plays such a major role in so many characters it’s so good to see Hawks there, having been through three different types of hell and still coming out unnerving in his goodness. All I want for him is to have a good life and to one day be able to smile for real.

2. Gojo Satoru from Jujutsu Kaisen

Again no surprise since I’ve been so into jjk lately. Satoru is p high up rn cuz I’m mainly into JJK now but god knows where he will actually settle. He’s not even really my favorite character in the show, that goes to Inumaki, but this is a list of who I think about the most (tho all of these characters are either no 1 or no 2 for their shows) and boy my brother and foxy can tell you I’m constantly thinking about this bitch. I didn’t really care about him that much at the start but then I got to Hidden Inventory and OH BOY MUCH TO THINK ABOUT. Satoru is such a wonderfully complex character whos evolution you can clearly follow through the years. He’s under so much pressure as the strongest sorcerer to deal with everything and he has to operate in that system trying to change it for the better while at the same time trying to make sure his students arent sacrificed in the name of that change. He has a very goofy disposition but along side with Nanamin who’s a lot more explicit about it, it’s clear he cares about mental state of his students a whole lot. He knows this world is terrible and that the will come out of it with scars and that he can’t protect them from all of it, but he balances protecting and letting them grow as much as he can. They need to grow so jujutsu society can change after all, but they also need to be protected so they don’t fuckin die before that can happen. This is without all the many many opinions I have on Hidden Inventory and SatoSugu as a whole, how they influenced each other, how differently they reacted to their shared trauma (Funny how everyone on this list is fuckin traumatized) and what resulted from it. How their fucking love story is dramatic enough to be a Shakespeare play. Also I like it when he’s long and goofy ahahah

1. Chuuya Nakahara from Bungou Stray Dogs

Not to objectify men on main but I couldn’t choose a picture 

If there is ever a day when I don’t go feral over Chuuya I’ll probably be dead. He not only lives in my head rent free he owns the place.

HES SO UNDERUSED.

BSD has such a great setup with Chuuya, like he’s ex partners with the mentor of the main character who got betrayed and abandoned when the mentor left shared evil organization. Sounds like grounds for drama right? YOUD THINK SO. Like Chuuya and Dazai have such a great and interesting dynamic and you can feel how strained it is from the distance and betrayal and they bicker and fight as their defining relationship trait BUT there is such a strong underlying trust to all the fighting. These two trust each other with their whole lives and that hasn’t changed despite everything, despite how much time has passed and how much that trust had been tested. So you’d think he’d be an important character :) HES STUCK IN SUPPORT HONESTLY HES STUCK IN BACKGROUND UNLESS HES NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING COOL AAAAAA. Chuuya is literally one of a kind, I’ve never seen a character with such a good design and such an cool power and such an interesting relationship to one of the main characters and such a love and support from the fandom BE SO UTERLLY AND COMPLETLY WASTED. Even when we get Chuuya scraps they rarely build on relationship he has in canon but just throw in new random ones at him (tho that’s a broader problem of Kafka throwing new characters at the plot instead of developing the one he already has really). We get a hint of a cool fight with him? Completely cut out, More often then not it just feels like he is benched because he’s so damn strong there would just be no plot tension if he went in and broke some heads (which is also a problem with Satoru, guys stop writing op characters if you’ll just put em on the bus aaa). Anyway he’s completly and utterly wasted by the plot.

And it’s such a waste because he’s such a good character. Like he’s a member if the villain organization and is obviously by that very vicious and violent but also so empathetic and kind to people he considers his friends. He and Dazai have the brawn and brain thing going on and stg Chuuya is like the only brawn I can think of that is classier then their brain. Look at how this guy dressed, he’s high class gay, hat, choker, coat, gloves, he is bringing in the looks. I love how he can actually be completely calm and rational and put together but then put him with Dazai and it’s back to ‘we are 15 and we will scream out heads off at each other’, they are so childish. 

Anyway I love Chuuya he deserves to be treated better and I will never stop screaming about Chuuya ever

[timelordthirteen]

Killing Time 23/35

Detective Weaver/Belle French, Explicit

Summary: A Woven Beauty Law & Order-ish AU. Written for Writer’s Month 2019.

Chapter Summary: Belle and Weaver get a big break in the case, but find it tempered by the mountain of missing pieces.

Notes: For my August Writer's Month prompt: We’re all a little stronger than we think we are. I've barely read this over before posting, sorry for all the typos.

[AO3]  

We’re all a little stronger than we think we are.

Dr. Hopper’s parting words replayed in Belle’s mind as she walked the three blocks back to her office.

The last few days had been lighter than any since her work on the Branson case had begun. A weight had been lifted by her confession to both Archie and Ian, and the therapy session which she was just leaving had only added to it. Today, their topics focused on ways she could relax and control any future panic attacks, which she assumed she would probably need no matter how much she wanted to tell herself otherwise.

The weekend had been quiet and comfortable. She and Weaver had worked some on Saturday, but admittedly they were distracted by movies on TV and each other. Sunday, they’d gone for a walk in a nearby park, and by the time they got back to the apartment, she was ready to tear his jeans off. Smiling, she pulled a lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. She was quite certain that the only other time she’d had more sex in a forty-eight hour period was when they’d been on their honeymoon.

He hadn’t said anything about the miscarriage after Friday night, and she hadn’t either. She wasn’t sure what he was feeling or thinking about it, or if he was at all. Several times she’d almost brought it up, but always hesitated when the moment came, afraid to shatter the cocoon of safety and happiness they’d created for one weekend. She was determined to talk it over with Dr. Hopper next week, before she dared to breach the subject with Weaver. Archie would know the best way to go about it, and he would help her get her mind straight beforehand, as he had many times when she was practicing her closing argument for an important case.

Monday had brought no news from Nevada, but this morning she’d gotten a call from Clark County letting her know to expect something by no later than Wednesday. It put an extra spring in her step as she pushed the revolving door to the city building that housed the District Attorney’s office. Her cell phone chirped in her coat pocket, and she pressed the elevator button before pulling it out. An notification lit up on the screen, an email to her official account, but the lift was already moving and her signal went out as it began the slow climb to the sixth floor.

Belle shoved her phone back in her pocket and stepped off the elevator, wanting to wait until she was with Weaver before she read the email, just in case it was good news. Her lips parted as she rounded the corner and saw his outline through the frosted glass of her office. He was seated at the conference table, leaning back, as far as she could tell, and a naughty idea on how they might celebrate this possible good news flashed across her mind.

Weaver turned as she opened the office door, and smiled. “Go well?”

She nodded and walked over to her desk. “Pretty good.”

“Good.”

Then she held up her phone and grinned. “I have an email.”

“Just one? I’ll alert the media,” he deadpanned, pushing back from the conference table.

Belle rolled her eyes and dropped her purse in her bottom drawer before kicking off her walking flats and wiggling her feet back into her work heels. “From the Clark County Clerk.”

Weaver stood, his mouth curving crookedly. “Say that five times fast.”

“You’re the worst.”

He laughed as she pulled out her chair. “And yet you love me.”

She huffed and pushed up on her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips. “Allegedly.”

He made a soft ‘oh’ sound and slipped an arm around her, pulling her flush against him. “I have a fair bit of evidence from this weekend that says otherwise.”

Belle bit her lip and smiled as he dipped his head and kissed her neck. “None of which is admissible in court.”

Weaver’s nose nudged at her ear as he chuckled and whispered, “You’re the only judge I care about convincing anyway.”

Giggling, she shoved his chest until he stepped back, and then shook her head. “You’re incorrigible. Now, can I check my email?”

He gave her a sly look, but motioned towards her computer. Her stomach flipped as she sat down and opened the lid of her laptop, hoping that what they would find wouldn’t kill the delightful buzzing anticipation between them. It seemed to take twice as long for her email to open and the new message to appear, and she started tapping her foot impatiently while Weaver’s hand squeezed the back of her chair. She clicked on the message, opening it in a full window so they could both read it.

They exchanged a look, and Belle scooted forward, saving the attached documents to the folder for the case. There were three in all, a scanned image of Molly Macreedy’s foster care agreement, and two exported PDFs from the Nevada DMV database containing the records for her foster parents. The image had been pasted into the email and stated her foster parents’ surname as Tremaine. Belle opened the DMV records for each parent, putting them side by side on the screen before she sat back in her chair.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Weaver said, breathless.

“No wonder we couldn’t find anything on Eloise Gardener,” Belle said. “She never existed.”

“Eloise Tremaine,” Weaver began, sticking the DMV photo up on the whiteboard next to a picture from Eloise Gardener’s autopsy. “Former foster parent to our first victim, Molly Macreedy, aka Baby Jane number 3-2-5. She was left at a fire station in North Las Vegas, estimated to be about three weeks old at the time.”

Detective Rogers shook his head and put up the DMV photo of Robert Tremaine on the other side of the board before turning to face Captain Graham Humbert, Belle, and DA Midas. “Robert Tremaine, real estate developer from Henderson, married Eloise Smith in 1993. They had no kids of their own, but had at least fifteen foster children, that we know of.”

“We’re still waiting on all the records from Nevada,” Belle added.

“Robert died in March of 2013,” Weaver continued, leaning against the wall of bookshelves in Belle’s office. “No particulars on that just yet, but shortly after that any paper trail on his wife goes cold.”

“What about his estate?” Graham asked, frowning.

Weaver shrugged. “Real estate records show the sale of the house was handled by an attorney. That’s all we have on that so far.”

Midas leaned forward on the table. “Tremaine’s business, anything about that? Real estate development in Vegas was pretty lucrative at that time.”

“And fairly shady.” Rogers’ eyebrows lifted. “We’re looking into possible organized crime connections with that, but that’s a whole can of worms unrelated to our serial murders.”

Graham flipped through the small packet of papers Belle had compiled thus far. “What was Eloise doing in Seattle?”

“We don’t know,” Weaver answered. “If there is a link to the mob with her husband’s business, it would stand to reason that she’d want to get away from Vegas, but Seattle doesn’t seem far enough to run from that kind of thing.”

“But,” Belle interjected. “It doesn’t explain how Jack and Nick Branson knew about the history between Molly and Eloise, or why they were killed.”

“So...you have adoption records and foster parents for one victim, from another state, and not much else.” Graham looked around at the group and dropped the papers back on the table.

“Hey, we -”

“Now wait -”

Weaver and Rogers start defending themselves at the exact same moment, but stopped when Midas stood up.

“Captain Humbert is right,” Midas said. “It’s interesting background, and it’s a possible lead to - something - but it’s not helping us build a case against the Bransons, and this office -.”

“Nick Branson worked construction in Las Vegas,” Belle interrupted. “Maybe that’s the connection. Maybe it’s through Robert Tremaine’s business that he - I don’t know - came into some contact with Eloise.”

Midas frowned and looked at Graham a moment before fixing Belle with a hard stare. “Follow it up, but don’t waste time on goose chases and rabbit holes. The murders were here in Seattle, not in Las Vegas. We’re not even sure Eloise was murdered by the Bransons -”

Belle attempted to interrupt him again, but his glare quieted her immediately. “You’ve shown me no definitive proof that she was. Meanwhile, we have five victims that we do know they killed, and a trial for them starting in two months. I’d like to avoid that kind of public spectacle if at all possible and get these two psychopaths to take a deal on those five murders.”

The tension in the room made Belle uncomfortable and her eyes darted to meet Weavers’ before shifting back to her boss.

“Am I clear, ADA French?”

She swallowed. “Yes, sir.”

“Thank you, detectives,” Midas said, nodding to Rogers and Weaver. “Captain Graham.”

Midas strode out of the office, and everyone left in the room collectively sagged in defeat. The air of excitement that Belle and Weaver had maintained for the last thirty-six hours at the news of Eloise Gardener’s real identity fizzled to nothing as Belle laid her head down on the conference table.

Weaver shot a look at Graham. “What the hell crawled up his arse?”

Graham sighed and ran a hand over his face. “The mayor,” he said, counting on his fingers as he spoke, “the city council, Alderman Samedi, Victoria Belfrey…”

“Belfrey?” Belle said, lifting her head. “What the hell does she care?”

“Apparently she had a deal with Samedi to build cost controlled housing on that vacant lot,” Graham explained. “The whole thing is in limbo now because the lot is a crime scene and hasn’t been released, and we can’t do that until we move forward on Eloise Gardener’s, or Tremaine’s, or - whoever the hell she is’s - murder.”

“So no pressure then,” Rogers muttered flatly, snapping the cap on one of the dry erase markers.

Belle pushed back from the conference table and stood up. “Okay,” she said, holding up both of her hands, palms outward. “We need a new plan. Rogers, figure out where the hell Eloise was living in Seattle. Hopefully having her actual last name will yield more results, but there could be something under her husband’s name, or his company. Ian and I will focus on the other victims, and see if any more of them are also adopted, or were in foster care.”

Then she turned to Graham and gave him a sickly sweet smile, that hand him rolling his head back and looking up at the ceiling. “Captain Humbert, if you could please reach out to your federal law enforcement contacts, and see if there’s even a whiff of organized crime around Robert Tremaine, that would be most especially helpful.”

Graham let out a snorting laugh, and gave Belle a salute with two fingers before he gathered up his things. “Yes, ma’am.”

Plans made, and men dispersed, Belle was left alone in her office. She sat down on the sofa, head in her hands, and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly between her lips. Archie’s voice was once again in her head, and for a long moment she let herself focus on it, trying to block out the irritated voice of her boss and the nagging on in her head that set her anxiety up to an eleven.

Feeling calmer, Belle looked up, her eyes staring straight ahead at the white board with pictures of Robert and Eloise Tremaine hanging side by side. She pushed to her feet and walked towards her, her vision narrowing to the image of Eloise, with that awkward expression so common with driver’s license photos.

“Why were you in Seattle, Eloise?” she asked no one. “What were you running from?”

[rigelmejo]

as usual the learning stages are so weird. reading in particular Constantly feels like a rollercoaster of: i’m drowning in unknowns, oh cool i understand what i don’t understand and its a slog looking up words/interpreting but i’m managing, this is kinda doable and not exhausting anymore!, oh no i’m drowning in new unknowns

at each iteration, each step feels a little tiny bit easier. Like me ‘kinda doable and not exhausted’ feels much more relaxing/less mentally draining to me now than it did on month like 6. my level of overall ‘this is horribly hard’ is diminishing. Still though, when i forget the longer perspective, in the short term it keeps feeling like an up down rollercoaster. to be fair, each time it feels ‘easier’ for long enough, then i will move onto harder material. so it makes sense the up down rollercoaster of difficulty continues.

anyway it is. blowing my mind lately. Because i’m at the ‘doable and not exhausting anymore’ point again! Only this time, the reading material is 寒舍, 天涯客, 盗墓笔记 - novels I found horrifically difficult in the past. Yet now I can a few paragraphs in a row before I hit unknown words, and now I can sometimes go through whole sections without looking up words and probably follow the plot and just miss some details. Right now the only hard step is me getting into the ‘reading mood’ because the actual reading is bearable, just requiring dictionary lookup if I want to study all the new words. Which is just... very overwhelming as a concept to me. its so cool. its overwhelming.

at the same time though! i know eventually i’ll get through this patch, and start realizing what new things i DIDN’T notice i didn’t understand before. And then it will get hard and draining again. Still, I’m really excited about it while I am in this part of the experience.

It also makes me want to try some extensive reading again - where I read one of my physical books, and don’t use a dictionary at all. Or only for key words at the end if they kept popping up, and i desperately want to know them. I know every time i do extensive reading - particularly that kind, the hardest kind, i am exhausted easily. Its hard! At best I can strain to follow the main idea! But I think it does spark improvement! And maybe a harder challenge is what I need to become motivated. Or just what I need in general. Since eventually, reading that way is the goal, when I do it I’m practicing the final goal.

Also I feel like such a baby! Like?!!!! I tried extensive reading at month 5, 7, 8, etc!!! When it was MUCH harder, AGONIZINGLY harder!!! I STILL managed to endure it and read the Kunlun intro in Guardian, some paragraph passages in guardian, some chapters of MDZS, some chapters of Mo Du. Like??? I read through 2 chapters of mo du with no dictionary before!! I think it was back at month 8 or 10? But like i am being a chicken to be scared to do it now. When clearly i could suck it up and bravely do it before when i had less knowledge. In a way, I think its funny - the more you learn, sometimes the scarier things become, because you realize JUST how many details may be there that you could miss. When I tried to extensively read earlier on, months ago, just following the main idea was an accomplishment! Now that I should be able to grasp it, then i also expect myself to be able to catch the details - which is harder work, more focus, more expectations to meet. 

Anyway some mostly unrelated notes to self:

Parallel reading english and chinese is a quite relaxing/lower effort way to practice reading. I did that earlier today with an english and chinese translation of a fanfic - its easy to match up unknown words to their definitions, see how words phrase together differently to convey similar things, and the only hard part is when I run into unknown hanzi since I can’t pronounce them. Similarly - reading dmbj in chinese, within days after reading the english chapter, makes it much easier to read through. Because I know the general plot, when i encounter sentences with words i can’t figure out even with a dictionary or sentences with grammar i can’t interpret for certain, the general plot knowledge helps me know whats going on enough to continue reading. 

My speaking skills need some vast improvement. Just like with reading - the more experienced I get, the more i realize i haven’t even noticed i needed to do and learn! I was working on tones the past few months, and now that’s a touch better (still not much). But can i say a sentence quickly/fluidly? No. Can i say anything at a quick pace? Probably not. Do i still forget tones or screw them up when saying a sentence, especially one at a decently quick pace? Yep. I was watching John Cena speaking chinese of all things, and the language learning form was like ‘his efforts admirable but he doesn’t even have conversational ability.’ I listened to him, and his word choice was basic but sufficient for the conversation. He was able to respond immediately in chinese, which was the most impressive thing I think - no slowing down to think how to word it or which word. While he probably made some mistakes, it did show he has an active vocabulary and that he can actively put sentence together without delay. I didn’t necessarily hear tones well in what he said, but his pronunciation sounded recognizable to me. So if that’s not conversational? How good must one be to be conversational? For the conversation he had, it seemed fine? And so now, of course, I’m like “well my tones are weak anyway that’s just that. they’re even weaker in a sentence. my grammar’s weak when producing. my word choice usually requires me to pause to decide if i need to tone change based on surrounding tones in the sentence. i cannot talk as fast as him period. i cannot form sentences so confidently. mm.”

i probably know many more words? in comparison? since i know a solid enough amount now that chinese subtitles in shows i can usually read all hanzi now, its just learning some new words/sayings made with those hanzi. i can read manhua fine. i can read easier novels ok, and harder ones with a dictionary. i know i have a very long way to go, but i feel i know more than 2000 words now, and 2000 ish is usually what they recommend for daily life casual conversational ability (how are you/did you do x/you think x/you ask about x/etc). and in typing i can type pretty quickly and have an active vocabulary. but truly when speaking, i start overthinking if i’m doing the grammar properly and if i need to switch tones for 3rd tones and just slow down a ton.

also my grammar rn? its a hot mess. Reading? Phenomenal, easy. Grammar does not really confuse me in reading - sometimes a new word or phrase does, when i’m trying to figure out how its interacting with the overall sentence meaning. But grammar usually doesn’t (except that gongzi huanxi novel for some freaking reason). But when I produce? For some reason when i DO overthink and try to determine how to word something, i will sometimes fuck up my grammar so much that my sentence becomes incomprehensible and the person i’m talking to asks ‘what do you mean?’ Yet when I don’t overthink and just start talking/typing, its usually fine. BUT that means its incredibly hard for me to self correct. I am fairly sure I’ll just have to continue building a large vocabulary/reading ability, then when i’m ready, just read through some grammar books and practice exercises until i develop the proper patterns. 

Like??? the other day i had to ask someone something like “what’s the name that you use in real life?” because we were chatting online. But i overthought the sentence after i typed it, then rearranged it thinking ‘oh i have to put ‘what’ question word in a different location etc for grammar reasons.’ Then they were like ‘what??? im sorry i don’t understand what you’re asking.” Even though it was a simple sentence, i knew all the words. But i overthought how to ask it and therefore made a completely incomprehensible sentence somehow messing up the grammar when i tried to ‘correct’ so badly it became impossible to understand. And this was the same conversation where they asked why i liked to read the books i recommended. And i was able to say a long paragraph with long sentences about how “i found poyun on a reccomendation list when i was searching for more books like mo du, i love priest’s novels and i love mysteries so i was looking for a similar kind of well written story. i like boy love stories if i happen to find them, since i’m bi and its nice to find love stories i feel more able to connect to. but i like all kinds of stories if the character writing is good, and the plot is meaningful.” Like... i was able to write all of that off of the top of my head in chinese without looking things up, just typing. And i didn’t re-read it to check for grammar. And the person understood just fine and responded. But when i asked something as simple as “what name do you use in real life?” i overthought how i was supposed to word it and became incomprehensible! So for now, I’ve been just speaking/typing however the sentence comes to mind. I’m fairly SURE im making grammar errors, but i’m having more luck being understood that way. So i’ve sort of just resigned to the fact that later on when it becomes a priority, that’s when i’ll sit down with a grammar book and drill out the patterns and correct any ingrained-mistakes i might have. 

[thewritingcaptain]

The Pieces (Part 2)

He’s spent the past week or so feeling numb, tired, and wishing he’d gone instead. He hasn’t been able to muster up the strength or the will to feel anything. That all changes when he sees Cap’s face. Suddenly he’s feeling something again. Anger. And it is strong as ever.

Notes: Hey everyone! I'm sure you've all figured out the drill at this point. With the virus-that-shall-not-be-named running around and shutting down the whole country, we're all stuck at home with nothing better to do than write. I start online school next week, but hopefully I'll be able to get back into a pretty consistent upload schedule again soon, what with now being home until August again. That all being said, I hope you guys are all doing okay as you can be, and thank you all so much for sticking around and for all the wonderful comments and support. I love you all 3000. Stay safe. <3

Even when he wakes up, it’s days before he really comes to.

The blue woman - Nebula, her name is - takes care of him, with the help of a few other people that he really pays no attention to. The only time he actually comes to for any amount of time is when he hears people talking about his family. He manages to answer, his name, his aunt’s name, but sinks immediately back into his catatonic state when he gets the news that she’s one of the many people who are gone.

After that, he sinks into a deep catatonic state. He doesn’t remember much about it, and it’s almost a week before he actually snaps out of it.

Said snapping out of it isn’t actually his decision. Strange had dropped them outside of the new Avengers compound, and Peter had taken up residence in the room that Mr. Stark had set up for him months ago, and basically stayed there for most of the week. What finally snaps him out of it is the arrival of what’s left of the Avengers.

He hears the muted sounds of people - more people than normal, the rustle that meant commotion outside of the everyday. His senses have been muted since Titan, it feels like, but not enough that he doesn’t hear when people come clambering in the building.

Suddenly the door to his room is being thrown open. People are rushing in, but Peter simply lays there. There’s a handful of people in the world he wants right now, and none of them are still alive. Sure he’ll have to move eventually, but right now is not that time.

Someone settles next to him in the bed. “Hey, kiddo. You want to sit up and talk to us?”

He glances up, unable to resist the pull of the gentle voice, and Black Widow smiles kindly down at him. Still, he shakes his head silently. He doesn’t have anything to say to her.

There’s a quiet sigh, and another familiar face appears in his vision. “Listen, I know you don’t want to talk, but-“

Captain America cuts off abruptly as Peter suddenly sits bolt upright in the bed. He’s spent the past week or so feeling numb, tired, and wishing he’d gone instead. He hasn’t been able to muster up the strength or the will to feel anything.

That all changes when he sees Cap’s face. Suddenly he’s feeling something again. Anger. And it is strong as ever.

“Talk? To you?” The words tear out of his mouth without him even thinking about them, his voice raw from almost a week of disuse. “Why should I? It’s not like you listen to what anyone has to say. It’s not like you care about anyone besides yourself.”

“Peter-“ Black Widow’s hand touches his arm, but he shakes it off, throwing the blankets off and stalking over to the bigger man. He doesn’t say anything, nor does he step back as Peter approaches. He simply watches him, looking tired and wary.

If Peter wasn’t so angry, wasn’t spiraled so deep into his emotions that he had no hope of control, then he might have stopped. Might have seen the exhaustion and pain etched into the other man’s face and let it drop. But he just couldn’t.

“It’s true, isn’t it? This is all your fault! Mr. Stark tried to talk to you. He tried to reason with you- all of you! And you ran instead. You ran , and then we needed you, and you weren’t there. This is exactly what he was trying to prevent! And we could have! If we had all been together, fighting together, we could have stopped him! But instead-“ he stops. His voice was rising steadily up until the point where it cracks and breaks, and he has to stop. He takes a shuddering breath, his voice barely a whisper when he continues. “Instead it was just me and Mr. Stark and Dr. Strange and we had to fight him on our own and we lost . And then he- he… and I had to watch… ”

There’s no hiding the way his voice breaks this time, and he falls back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands. There’s no sound but the varied rates of everyone’s heartbeats and breathing for a solid minute before the murmuring starts up again, and then-

Arms wrap around him. Gentle. Solid. Feminine. Long hair covers his shoulders like a curtain, and he takes a shuddering breath, sinking into the comfort without looking up as he dissolves into deep sobs, unable to handle the sudden onslaught of emotions after days of not allowing himself to feel anything.

“I know, I know, it’s okay, it’s okay,” she murmurs, repeatedly, running soothing hands through his hair, down his back, holding him close until his sobs finally begin to peter out. “I’ve got you, it’s okay…”

All of a sudden the voice and the smell register at once, and Peter pulls back, sniffling a little as he peers up at the woman holding him to confirm his suspicions.

Miss Potts smiles sadly down at him. Her eyes are red, too, but overall she projects calm as she looks down at him. “Hey, Peter.” She wipes his face with her sleeve. “Feeling a little better?”

Peter swallows thickly. He wants to nod and say yes, to thank her, but what comes out of his mouth instead is, “I’m so sorry, Miss Potts. I-“

“Shh, no, none of that,” she interrupts, taking his face in her hands. “You did everything you could, Peter. And none of this is your fault, your hear me? Thanos did what he did. It has nothing to do with you. And Tony-“ she swallows thickly, looking down for a moment as if to gather herself before continuing. “He would have chosen the same path in a heartbeat to keep you safe, even if he’d had the option. You can’t blame yourself.”

He’s not so sure how he feels about that, but he simply nods his head and agrees, unsure what else to say. “Where do we go from here?” he whispers, looking up at her with wide eyes. He’s never felt so much like a lost child before in his life.

Pepper just smiles sadly at him again before pulling him in. She kisses his hair softly. “I don’t know,” she admits quietly. “But we’ll figure it out, Peter. Together.”

“But I’m not- I mean, you don’t have to-“ he starts to pull back, surprised, but the grip she has on him is firm and unrelenting.

“Don’t have to do what? Take care of the child that my husband and I love as our own?” Her eyes are a little watery again, and she blinks them back. “Look, I don’t want to overstep, Peter, but… May is gone,” she reminds him gently. “And Tony is gone, and so are a lot of others. I’m not going to let you be swept into whatever remains of the system, and I’m fairly sure you’re not interested in moving into the Compound with the other Avengers right now.”

A few months ago, maybe, but now? Peter has to admit it doesn’t sound the least bit appealing. Even if he hadn’t just flipped out on Cap, which he had, deservedly or not.

“Yeah… no, I’d rather not,” Peter admits, flushing a little.

Pepper smiles. “Good. Because I wanted to let you in on a little secret, but you can’t tell the others, alright?”

Peter immediately forgets about all embarrassment over his behavior earlier in favor of concern for the woman in front of him. If there’s anything that he knows for sure Mr. Stark would want, it’s for someone to take care of Pepper, and he’ll be damned if he’s letting any one of these sorry excuses for heroes do it. “Of course. You can tell me. But why me?”

“Well, if you’re going to be staying with me, you’re going to find out anyway. And truth be told, I’m sure there’s some things I’ll need your help with…”

Taglist: @lovinmarvel3000

[ohscorbus]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Saturday 11th May, 2019

I think it goes without saying that seeing today’s show was an absolute honour. James Phoon, our lovely Craig Bowker (aaand everyone’s favourite Hufflepuff), FINALLY got to go on as Scorpius Malfoy. Now we’ve been talking, hoping, and begging for this for two years. Two years! Spoiler alert: it was worth the wait. ♥︎

So, who is his Scorpius? Well I initially summed him up in three words: sweet, strong, awkward. I stand by that. We’ve always said he’d be a total sweetheart, a child of sunshine and sweets. We weren’t wrong. But what really captured my attention was his strength. He didn’t feel vulnerable the way Jonathan’s Scorpius does (to me, anyway) and even when he was, I knew he could handle himself. There was something very Malfoy about him in that sense. You could almost see Draco’s influence. It was all there, intertwined with his own Scorpius-ness. It felt like something brand new but also exactly what you’d expect from Scorpius Malfoy. Watching him stand his ground and push back on Albus, and then awkwardly play with his hands and squeal in delight over something geeky in the next breath. It was the perfect mix which made for a fascinatingly brilliant interpretation and one I’d have loved the chance to explore further. I can only imagine where James would have taken him if he was already here at show one. 

ACT ONE, SCENE FOUR: THIRD YEAR

I absolutely adored his approach to the scene where he tells Albus about Astoria’s death. Instead of looking down at the ground or focusing on Albus, he angled himself our way and stared out as if he was looking out of the train window. Yet his unfocused and glistening eyes told us he wasn’t really seeing anything beyond the glass. It made me wonder if he’d have stayed like that all the way to Hogwarts if Albus hadn’t have found him because even once Albus had arrived and started talking, Scorpius barely blinked. He spoke back but he never took his eyes off the view. It broke my heart. He couldn’t write those words and now he has to say them. I don’t blame him for not wanting to see the sorry on Albus’s face. He remained in that position until he suddenly turned towards Albus as he asked him to be his good friend. The fact that it’s that line that pulls Scorpius back into the world says so much about him. His friendship with Albus is what grounds him. It’s what he needs to get through this.

Also, unrelated to James but I have to call out Ryan in the wand dance. So you know how Albus fails at the very end and his wand shoots out the powder instead? Well while the other kids mocked him, Ryan just stood at the back, looking at his own wand, and wondered aloud: “how did he do that?” The look of confusion on his face and the fact the question seemed so genuine had me laughing so hard I wheezed. I’ve been saying it ever since. (Plus I like the idea that someone out there is impressed. Even if it was an accident. Bless him.)

ACT ONE, SCENE NINETEEN: BEATING THE LIBRARY

I just have to mention Jamie B here because his version of James’s Scorpius was absolutely superb. Like, A+. 10/10. Five gold stars. We gushed at him afterwards and he said he only got to watch James for a few scenes that day before having to go on and do this scene. I’m still wildly impressed at this man’s talent. 

ACT TWO, SCENE SIX: HOGWARTS THROUGH THE TREES

This scene always stands out to me. There’s a certain kind of magic to it that sets it apart from the others. We come to the theatre, or pick up the book, or watch the movies, to visit Hogwarts. Yet in this scene, it’s those at Hogwarts who turn to watch us to see this world. It gives me goosebumps every time. I never feel as part of the magic as I do when I’m watching this scene. For that reason, it’s so interesting to watch the actors reacting to that view. Of seeing that magic, of all of us on this journey with them. There’s time there where they literally don’t say anything. They just stand and look and without fail, it exposes the true extent of their Harry Potter love. It doesn’t matter how good of an actor you are, there are some emotions you cannot fake. The beauty of the Palace Theatre itself and the realisation of pretty much being ‘Harry Potter’ (but better) in this moment has caused so many of them to well up. Now James P’s love for HP is common knowledge. He’s a very proud Hufflepuff who beat his losing streak in the Friday Forty by joining the cast in the second year. (I have so much respect for that haha.) So as you can imagine, the second we all saw his eyes glistening as he stepped forward we all cried with him.

ACT TWO, SCENE SEVEN: FIRST AU

Now you know the Malfoys are my favourites (apart from Albus, he’s still my number one), so seeing how Draco and Scorpius interact is pretty high on my list of priorities. I was on the edge of my seat for this scene today! So anyway, the adults run on stage and Draco immediately zones in on his son but Scorpius stays focused on Albus. I think it was partly because Albus was very obviously in quite a lot of pain, and I’m also fairly sure he was actively trying to avoid the look on his dad’s face too. He’s in trouble and he knows it. I just hope he also knows how worried his dad has been too because that is also evident on his face.

ACT TWO, SCENE TEN: WRONG BOY IN THE WRONG CARRIAGE

So for anyone who’s not seen the show, this scene has the adults talking around McGonagall’s desk with both staircases back to back behind them. They sort of frame the scene and enclose them to give the impression they’re in a room. Now while this scene plays out, Scorpius is sat on the right staircase behind/above them. Now I’ve never been fully convinced either way as to whether it means Scorpius is eavesdropping on their conversation or whether he’s there simply as a reminder of what’s at stake. Either way, Scorpius is usually uncharacteristically still as they speak. You could easily forget he’s there. So it was super interesting to see James decide to keep moving his hands as Scorpius would. It made you more aware of the fact even if he’s not part of the conversation, he is part of this. Everything that is being said directly affects him. This boy that’s sat in the darkness alone and showing signs of uneasiness. It made Harry’s misguided anger feel even worse.

ACT TWO, SCENE TWELVE: STAIRCASE BALLET

This is a random observation and probably not the one you want but for some reason, the image of him sitting on top of the staircase with his legs hanging down is stuck in my head. I just love it? I'm so used to Scorpius sitting up there cross-legged and looking down at Albus longingly and so full of hope. To see something different was refreshing! It was almost like he missed Albus walking beneath him at first and then as he seemed to realise, he quickly jumped up and ran back to the banister to catch him as he walked up the other staircase behind him. Although thinking about it now, that’s even sadder? The fact he doesn’t spot him immediately. Did Scorpius start to give up? It would explain his frustration at Delphi a few scenes later. Being confronted with the notion that Albus needs him when in fact it’s clearly him that needs Albus. A hard truth to learn when his best friend has all but abandoned him. It’s interesting to imagine a Scorpius trying to learn how to survive school (and life) without Albus at this point. Maybe that’s what Delphi sees. That’s why she risks everything because she can’t have Scorpius being so Malfoy about this and surviving. She needs him to fight for Albus. She needs them together.

Or maybe it’s just simply because Albus is always so quick to run off or change direction to avoid Scorpius so that when he does literally past right underneath him here it’s like Scorpius doesn’t believe it. Like he can’t trust his own eyes. But then it registers and of course he’s immediately up and after him. It’s definitely a much nicer idea. But I’ll let you decide...

ACT TWO, SCENE SIXTEEN: THE ARGUMENT

Now this is a library scene! I personally always prefer a Scorpius that gets so uncontrollably angry he properly shouts in this scene. I want him to finally explode after years of imploding. James P did not let me down. There was no mistaking his frustration. His “try my life” silenced the theatre. The pain in his “can you even slightly imagine what that’s like” exposed Albus. The next lines were unnecessary. Albus already felt two foot tall. Then his “giving sympathy to the boy WHO DOESN’T EVEN GIVE ANYTHING BACK” gave me goosebumps. This is my Scorpius. He had the whole audience in his hands. Even the annoyingly loud lady behind me was captived enough to stop using her Pringles as maracas! Wayhey!!! But all jokes aside, watching this sweet boy stand up to his best friend and speak without knowing if Albus would stay at the end of this was heartwrenching. But he’s right, some things are more important. I think this hits him here finally and his voice and anger dips as he said, ”so I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your life because I tell you - you wouldn’t have a chance of ruining mine - it was already ruined.” Each pause brought more emotion until finally he exploded with anger again for ‘the most terrible friend’ line. I can still see his face so clearly in my head as he shouted that at Albus. He had, what I can only describe as his ‘angry eyebrows’ on, and he meant it. The unwavering glare he gave Albus was cold and cruel. It was glorious. I have this thing about getting glimpses of what could be the Scorpion King. I love it. Now I know our Scorpius isn’t that person and nor is he capable of the things he is, but watching him use his words to cut Albus down was like a flash of what could be. If anyone in the theatre still had any doubt this boy was a Malfoy, they wouldn’t have after this scene.

But back to the height thing. We’re used to Scorpius having some height on Albus and it being visibly noticeable. Yet this was the one time I actually felt it, despite the fact that James and Joe are roughly the same height. He just had such a big presence on stage once he’d stopped holding back. The flashes of anger, fuelled by unimaginable pain, concealed for reasons that would only hurt you further if you learned them. There’s so much more to Scorpius Malfoy than sweets, and it breaks my heart.   

Of course this all led to a truly heartfelt apology from Albus. It felt softer than usual. Or maybe it just seemed that way after Scorpius’s sharpness. It was beautiful to watch them equal each other out. There’s always a balance with these two and it’s never more obvious than here.

Oh and the hug! This was the most awkward hug I’ve ever witnessed. Basically, Albus pulled him up and tried to bring him straight into a hug but Scorpius put his hands up and froze. (Think Surprised Kitten.) That didn’t deter Albus though. He tried to work around it (by which I mean he still kept his arms out and half around Scorpius trying to coax him into it) but Scorpius was not moving. Oh and FYI, it wasn’t a ‘I’m uncomfortable with this’ kind of thing. It was definitely a ‘I don’t know what to do here’ kind of thing! In the end, Albus motioned with his hands for Scorpius to come closer and gave him an encouraging head nod along with it. That finally did it and the two hugged. It was super sweet with five layers of awkwardness and I loved it. Especially given how determined Scorpius looked when he said ‘always’. It’s fascinating how Albus is a source of both confidence and the unknown to him. His range of reactions will never stop entertaining me.

ACT TWO, SCENE NINETEEN: GIRLS’ BATHROOM

So the soap didn’t inflate and I’m only mentioning this because Albus’s response was just, “nevermind”, and he carried on. NEVERMIND. It’s not like if you get this wrong then the whole plan falls through or anything, Albus! This boy. Honestly. He’s a jumbled mix of accepted failure and confident stubbornness and I’m here for that.

ACT THREE, SCENE TWO: VOLDY TIMELINE

There was a really great parallel moment here where he was in the middle of the stage, facing the audience and looking at Hogwarts. Just like he was during the ‘Hogwarts through the trees’ scene. Yet the difference between these two looks spoke volumes about how different this version of Hogwarts was. The last time he looked in awe. He was happy to be there and proud to be at that school. But now he looked back at it over his shoulder and his eyes spoke of bone deep fear.

This Scorpius played the role of Scorpion King quite impressively. He was able to rein in a lot of his Scorpius-y mannerisms for longer than Jonathan’s Scorpius manages. It was more in line with Samuel’s Scorpius, if not better. It’s exactly what I expected of this Scorpius after part one. Draco may have failed to instil leadership in him but he’s definitely picked other things up.

ACT THREE, SCENE THREE: DRACO’S OFFICE

He went for what I can only describe as a ‘pitifully wounded trapped animal’ approach to being held down on the table. I felt it like a stab to the heart. He just collapsed into the desk and his legs looked like they were going to buckle. He looked so small it hurt. But if that wasn’t bad enough, once he’d got free he ran backward holding the side of his face and let out the saddest little whimper. He made no attempt to hide the fact he’d been hurt. I’m glad. I think Draco needed that. Scorpius too. I don’t think he’s tempted to stay in this reality but this affirms his need to change it back. He may be struggling with his dad but he knows enough to know that he wouldn’t want this. His mother either. He’s aware of his past but he’s also aware of his present. He’ll save the world for Albus, but he’ll change it for his family.

ACT THREE, SCENE FOUR: ALL THE CRAIGS

I’m not gonna lie, I spent this entire scene being alarmed by the fact the person I’ve watched as Craig for the past two years was now suddenly interacting with Craig. I wonder if that was weird for him too…

ACT THREE, SCENE FIVE: LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

I love how his ‘you loved his mother’ seemed to escape from him without intention. He instantly became nervous and unsure as to whether he should have mentioned it. But he presses on and he slowly regains his confidence the longer Snape is quiet. It made me think about how important this moment is for Scorpius. He’s been in this AU for (presumably) days now and I can’t imagine the horrors he’s seen. But he never gives up hope and now there’s a light. Even in this world of darkness, Scorpius is not alone, and love will win once more. I know he loves reading about it in his history books but experiencing this first hand must inspire and empower him more than just the fact he survived this world.

ACT THREE, SCENE EIGHT: DEMENTORS

He really put his all into his interactions with the Dementors which I will always love an actor for. These creatures are mentally draining, affect you physically and emotionally, and are hard to detach from. There’s no fancy CGI of the movies here and honestly, they don’t need it anyway. James portrayed all of that brilliantly. (Dementors are my favourite HP creatures of this made me very happy!)

ACT THREE, SCENE NINE: CAREFUL, YOU’RE DROWNING ME!

Having seen all the reluctance and nervousness in the previous hugs, I was a little bit unsure of what to expect with this one since it’s the first hug Scorpius instigates himself. I shouldn’t have worried. The hug was short but Scorpius threw himself into it without hesitation or any hint of uncertainty afterwards. It was lovely and a true testament to his character. He could have come back from the Voldy AU angry and damaged but instead he focuses on his relationships. It reminds me of that quote from HBP: “You're the one who is weak. You will never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.” Scorpius is awkward and bullied. He’s hurting and lonely. He must appear weak to just about everyone, but they’re wrong. To be dealing with all of that and still have such a pure love for magic and life and all the people in it? It’s incredible and beyond brave to choose love time and time again. I think we could all learn a thing or two from Scorpius Malfoy. He’s the bravest person I know.

ACT THREE, SCENE FOURTEEN: THE DORM SCENE

This was so heavily influenced by Samuel’s Scorpius that I instantly broke down in a flood of tears and sobbed my way through this scene (and the next few). He woke Albus up with an ‘Al-boos’ and then he even pulled his duvet up and wrapped it around his face as he said Mouldy Voldy. It was beautifully painful in the best and worst ways. None of us were prepared. I just never expected to see those things again but it also reminded me (like I could ever forget, ha!) how well they work. I mean, I may have been crying uncontrollably but everyone else was laughing along at his ridiculousness. It was like his sugar high had just kicked in. Malfoy the Unanxious was really loving life in this moment. 

One thing that stood out in particular was the way he said the pun at the end. It was full of dramatic pauses (“It’s time.. that time turning… became a thing… of the past”) and he said it so seriously. This Scorpius has skills. The pride on his face afterwards made it even better. I like that he can give as good as he can get with dry humour and Albus. He’s clearly picked up a thing or two over the years. I can only imagine what they’re like together once they’ve got started. Total Slytherins. 

ACT THREE, SCENE NINETEEN: TORTURE SCENE

I have to admit, I kinda just lost myself in this scene and enjoyed it so I have very few notes. Other than that he made this painfully sad whimper when Delphi turned her wand towards him and he realises that’s how she’s going to control Albus. But then the second time she does it he remains silent. He knows what’s coming but he’ll endure (and not give her the satisfaction) if it means stopping her. Although he didn’t hide his pain afterwards. He looked and sounded like he was in agony. I’m a big fan of that. (Sorry Scorpius!)

It was also really jarring again to see James P watch Craig Bowker die in this scene. Scorpius consciously tried to avoid looking at Craig’s dead body too and that somehow made it worse?

ACT THREE, SCENE TWENTY: YOUR DAD LOVES YOU, VERY MUCH

I always watch Scorpius’s face as Albus says this line. So Jonathan’s Scorpius always looks across at Albus in panic, like he’s about to expose what’s about to happen to Cedric and ruin time. Then once he realises he’s not, he deflates and simply watches Albus with such love. He knows what those words would mean to Albus, so for him to say them to Cedric, making sure it’s the last thing that Cedric hears before he dies, it makes him look at Albus like he’s seeing him for who he truly is. A boy whose heart convinces his head to act. That may have gotten them into this mess but Scorpius likes that about him. This moment is a reminder of that. So much has happened. The arguments, their falling out, their losses, their wounds exposed. But this seems to bring him back down and closer. It’s so incredibly touching. It made me super intrigued to see what James would do with it. Unsurprisingly, I was not let down. The emotion on his face just broke me. I’m not sure if it’s because of what he knew would happen, and must happen, to Cedric. The burden of that so soon after Craig must have been awful. Or whether it was hearing those words himself and thinking of his own dad that caused those feelings to overpower him. But it was beautifully painful to watch. It’s such an emotionally powerful moment. To see him physically uncomfortable, unable to sit still as he’s flooded with these feelings, truly brought home how young they are to be dealing with all this too.

ACT FOUR, SCENE THREE: SQUEEEAK!

I’m not sure I’ve mentioned this already but his voice got really light and wispy whenever he was really happy. Like whatever was happening had taken his breath away. Usually it’s Rose’s doing but here it’s aaallll Bathilda. It started the second he realises she’ll be alive and in that house right now. It only escalated once she’d walked out and he’d seen her. His voice went so high and his squeak could have cracked glass. He was so unashamedly geeking out.

ACT FOUR, SCENE FIVE: FANBOY

Also, it’s super important you know this ubergeek kept letting out these really high pitched squeals of delight as this scene went on. It was like he never came back down from the high of seeing Bathilda. He did it once they’d figured out their plan and then again when he opened Bathilda’s door. That one was an actual shriek. He showed no shame. Good.

A little Scorpius-y quirk for you: he was continually fiddling with his clothes. Here it was the bottom of his coat. Probably the zipper? When he was in his uniform he favoured the ends of his sleeves.

ACT FOUR, SCENE EIGHT: WE CAN HUG TOO

So to anyone who’s read any of my recaps before, you may remember how I mentioned that Jonathan’s Scorpius has very noticeable anxiety issues. At times he struggles to catch his breath and how it’s something both Draco and Albus help him with throughout the show. (Although sadly he’s definitely toned this down a lot recently.) Anyway, I’m bringing this up now because after Draco and Scorpius hugged, Draco always keeps his hand on Scorpius’s shoulder. Presumably to keep him close but to also focus him on his breathing. It’s a really touching moment that tells you everything about how loving and caring this little family is. But since this is a different Scorpius I wondered what James H would do here. Interestingly, he didn’t change a thing. Now I’m thinking this shared moment isn’t just about Scorpius. It’s also about Draco. I’ve talked before about why I think Draco is constantly rubbing his fingers together. That I believe it’s a stress/anxiety thing, and how I think he uses that as a way of channeling and restraining it. It’s useful as a parent to recognise and understand something your child is going through, and it explains why James H still had Draco do the same actions today with James P’s Scorpius. Because his Scorpius didn’t need that sort of help so obviously. So the idea that his exaggerating breathing isn’t just for Scorpius to copy, but for himself too makes sense. I can’t imagine the stress of what losing Scorpius must have felt like. To finally have him back again, right in front of him, I’m sure he needs to remember to breathe again too. Or rather, the reminder he can breathe now. They’re together. That’s all that matters.

James P made this even more lovely by reaching out for Draco back. So while Draco had his hand on Scorpius’s shoulder, Scorpius cupped Draco’s other elbow and held on for a while. That was really nice!

ACT FOUR, SCENE ELEVEN: DUELLING WITH DELPHI

So after Delphi has been stopped, everyone is stood either side of her with their wands pointed right at her. The fight is over but they don’t let their guard down. Now from the angle at which my seat was at, I got this wonderful view of Albus, Ginny, Harry, Scorpius, and Draco all stood in a line. They’re all stood rigidly with their wand arms up and perfectly straight. They look determined and ready. But then in the middle of the line up is Scorpius. He stood out today because his arm was relaxed and low. His wand was still pointed at Delphi but his stance was as far from threatening as you can get. Understandably really, given that the adults are in the room and the fact she’s restrained and he’s holding her wand. He doesn’t need to fight. But then as soon as Harry says he won’t kill her, everyone lowers their wands and relaxes and takes their eyes off Delphi. Everyone except Scorpius. His wand was still at waist height but it never wavered and remained directed at her. He never even looked away from her. I was on the edge of my seat. This is a Scorpius who could have easily hidden behind his father (Jonathan’s Scorpius), or been afraid to hold Delphi’s wand (Samuel’s Scorpius). But no, he points her wand straight back at her and never falters. He’s lived in the world she wants. He’s suffered through rumours she claims as an identity with pride. He’s seen what this wand has done. Yet he pulls all that together and stares her down. Afraid, but brave.

It’s not until the real Voldemort’s voice calls out that he breaks his concentration. He reacts to the danger by finally moving towards his dad. Although I have no doubt if he hadn’t then Draco would have gone to him.

ACT FOUR, SCENE FOURTEEN: CRUSHES

He said ‘smokey eyed potions professor’ in this croaky, elderly lady voice and held up his hands as if he was holding onto a zimmer frame and it was hilarious! Easily my favourite way I’ve ever seen someone do this line. By implying that the professor is that much older he’s actually taken this teasing to a whole other level and I love him for it.

After all, a teenage boy having a crush on a middle aged female teacher isn’t unusual. But the idea that Scorpius is winding Albus up about him fancying a pensioner is just too funny. I can just imagine the joy it brings Scorpius, getting to wind Albus up about this through potions class and beyond. Albus, torn between being the kind hearted boy that he is and helping her move the heavier cauldrons, and wishing she’d just for once use her wand because the look on Scorpius’s face when she tells him he’s a ‘very good young man’ is most definitely going to be parroted back to him for the next week in jokes. So thank you James for this. I shall enjoy imagining your Scorpius teasing him endlessly in the way only best friends can.

I so wish more of you could have seen him because my words could never do him justice. I have no doubt you all would have loved him. James was fantastic, and not only that, he reminded you of how much time and effort all the cast put into this show. Whether they have three hundred lines or whether they have three. James had this beautiful, fully formed character that he knew would probably never see the light of day. Yet he took him on this new journey and fleshed him out ready. I only really got into theatre because of Cursed Child so while I knew this was the case with all understudies/swings, actually seeing it from a second cover made me realise the true extent of it. There’s an immeasurable amount of talent in this cast and we barely scratch the surface with so many of them. I’m sad we won’t get to see this Scorpius again, but I’m excited to see where James goes in the future.

(Oh and just so you know, my Jonathan and Samuel comparisons are purely to help give you a better idea of what James was like. I’m not saying one is better than the other. Each interpretation is so different and I love all three of them! I just want to give you the clearest idea I can and this way is easier if you’ve seen the show and you’re already familiar with one or both of these actors.)