#and it’s like wow. cuz I want independence more than anything

[peachinspiration]

dunmeshi mithruncore (every day I can’t get up to make myself eat at all or get up to use the bathroom or fall asleep or actually do more to help myself unless im told to or someone physically Makes me do it or I finally manage to do so for the first time very very late in the day cuz I forced myself to out of fear)

[xxanaduwrites]

Just some thoughts to pick UR brain

Is Honey clingy? I honestly don’t imagine so, but I can see it too. Personally, I can imagine honey being pretty independent. And don’t think she’d be like, “where have you been”, or “where were you w/o me—“ more like if Benny offers to drive her to get groceries, I can see her saying, “no need baby, it’s a good day out, I’ll walk”.

I can see Honey having an inexplicable close relationship to one of the guys. I’d love it to be called cuz 💗 but I think it’ll be funnier and cuter if it was someone like Funny Sonny. And Benny’s like 🤨 but then whatever.

If anything, Bennys the clingy one! He’d be so pawing and pouty around honey, “baby where you been?”, “the guys are boring, can I just sit with you?” 🥺 always dragging her around or away 😏

“You wanna know why I call you Honey? That’s why” —Oop (after eating you out)

Patting your thigh…

Honey snuggling into his neck while he driving 🥺🥺🥺 “baby you’re going to make me crash” 😫

I can see Benny finding Honey so cute when she is all dirtied up. Like from his motor oil(or if she befriends Cal and learns all of his teachings), dirt, etc. he’d be the one to clean her up in with his dirty fingers 😭, doing absolutely nothing but smearing the dirt 😭

Him showing her class his bike one afternoon!! 😭😭😭 I imagine it when they’re married or preggo but I can also see it just before they get married and that’s what solidified her thoughts on Benny 🥺 Or it can lead to a big argument 🤐

Benny revving it up and the kids ooing and awing 😭😭😭

ohmygoodness hello i am SWOONING. wow —

1. honey is absolutely independent for sure. i can’t imagine honey being the kind of gal to receive much lovin’ prior to benny :’( she’s a good girl, you know? as much as she can be…she for sure has gone against some of her parents rules as far as “image” and such go. but besides that, i can see most fellas finding her strange while she was growing up. always the odd gal out and the last pick of the bunch. :’( benny tho, god he’s all over her. wants her to know how much he loves her. kills him to see her think otherwise. so, i’d say it kind of shocks her when he’s offering to bring her to everything with him, especially if it’s a meeting or two she’s not as welcome at (we all know johnny makes sure the guys know she’s MORE than welcome whenever) as for the grocery thing. YES, he does NOT want her walking anywhere alone. we already know he despises her taking the bus too. all cramped in there with creeps. ABSOLUTELY NOT. a ride with him is much safer as benny sees it.

2. canon stamp on her and cal for sure (as we have seen) but i can also see sonny being up there too! she bedazzles his jacket after all, like come on! cal is totally her brother figure. i love the cuz thing! knowing that sonny came searching for cal, that adds up perfectly. they’re all related for sure! (in my mind at least lol) i can see cal and honey bonding over cali. maybe honey’s got a relative there, so her, cal, and sonny all decide they are basically related ha.

3. oh yes — my man right there is constantly counting down the hours when she’s in school. hates to be apart from her for a single second. so much worse when she’s still living with her ma and pa. he’s practically kicking himself when he’s keeping her out longer than he should, but god he can’t help himself!

4. oop — yep, yep, yes abso—fucking—lutely! i’ve already been gearing up an “a taste of honey” titled installment. you can put two and two there ;)

5. YES, especially at meetings when he’s next to her or perched in his lap. is there a chair missing for her to sit on?…most likely no, but will he make sure it’s not in her sight? YES.

6. PLZ this right here !!! oh, she’s so saying something like “m’sorry baby. need’a be closer to ya. s’not close enough.” and god this man is IMMEDIATELY going over the speed limit as soon as those words dive out of her pretty mouth like a sweet song in his ears, pulling up to the closest rest stop & having his way with her ;)

7. omg if you’ve ever seen that 70s show (literally my fav show of all time, i can so picture her giving jackie burkhart helping red forman with his car in the garage vibes. cal’s like “well holy fuckin’ shit, think i’ve found myself a new best friend.” & benny is so all over honey oh my — for sure his biggest turn on with that. him trying to clean off the dirt but only making it worse — my heart !!! def calls for a joint shower between those two love birds i fear ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7wFgj8TcfM

8. THIS RIGHT HERE!!! so show and tell day. ofc johnny’s kids ask if benny’s bike can be theirs as their scheming plan to get their uncle together with their favorite teacher. oh this is precious!!!

9. IM CACKLING. the mental image of all their little faces lighting up in delight is TOO GOOD.

i love you. thank you so much for this. my noggin thanks ya for being so extremely helpful! i adore yapping with you about this. def keep sending your benny thoughts my way. SO GOOD. smoochies. x 💋

[the-firebird69]

There's a couple things that people should know the last place Jesus Christ was was not the boat and our son and daughter think it was where he was born and he's aware of that and they're trying to move the hospital and Concord cuz they're assholes and the car that was used was the one JFK was shot in and they did rebuild it and that happens to a lot of apparently it's not abnormal for you to be found dead in your birthplace and Jason is a bad person it's basically going after his own and everybody's being very mean so they're saying things but that's how it goes we have a lot of other things to announce and right now

-the sun is under duress and people are being mean and they're threatening and they're causing him injury and they're making matters worse uncertain injuries all the time they're constantly Adam to force them to pick things I can't stand it anymore but he can't help it and we just kind of have to plow through it but we need people to help him it helps us even more so than him and it's true

-these people are candy asses but they're dangerous several of them let out bloodthirsty growls during the movie about what he was doing and they're not Max and he says how does it affect us I said you're senile and you're spent you don't understand it and so he said I have to get out of here this is so f****** bad and he said they're independent and they have their own cocaine Fields supplying them with oxygen and the guys started laughing and said it probably smells great and our son said BG are you near that guy and he said no so someone's looking at like BG and he started laughing and said oh yeah it smells kind of like s*** so they're probably mad about it he went back in and said they're mad because it smells like s*** and that's what the cocaine smells like and he said the Coco and so he ran out and he left and people said wow that was the weirdest experience of my life and it was John remillard and he said it's a good job he's doing I can't stand him knowing him and it's not that bad and I'm the a****** but I can't help it and then he said this they're probably going to make it worse now and they said probably and it's true they are using it for oxygen the reaction was very good people were astonished and they started to do work and some people came to a side and carried him to his car kind of and went with him and he said this is finally happening they see what I'm doing I'm trying to stop them and to tell people if it's an alert and we need to cut their oxygen off we're all going to die of hypoxia or nuclear weapons and he's putting a stop on building weapons that are not for war and no but we do see what they're saying he's desperate

-and there are other things happening and Zeus clarifies you are not her in any way she is not our kind and so she's happy about that and says that's it then stop talking and we are posting other things she said good that's what I meant or less more or less. Now we are experiencing other things happening

-there are a few people who are out of line and they are seen as doing evil things they brought the jet down leaving Ohio yes it was Jason's people and they are wanted in Florida they are accused of homicide and will be brought to trial and kicked out of the governorship and they're going to do so once again they'll have another one of these fights on their hands where they think they could just hold on to power and it doesn't matter it really doesn't work this way truthfully it does but these guys have big mouths and they try and hurt a lot of people and the wrong people to do things and it doesn't work ever and they've made huge numbers of enemies all of these guys make that mistake and their terrifying weeks horrible about it

-we're going to war now with a lot of people who refuse to be decent to our son and refused to do anything but anarchy we have no use for them and they don't have real plans and it is not anything seen as a real plan by most people we're going to have to interrupt what they're doing completely and it is going on right now we're sending teams after Jason and his he's a ridiculous a******

-there's a huge number of people seeking him on special warrants here in Florida and it's most of the people now it's a good chunk and it's a cross-section of everyone except for them believe it or not a lot of people need to see what he's doing and they're going to see it because they're demanding to see what's on the tape.

-also the master accused of having it happen and inspiring him and showing where the stuff is and more and there are going to be brought on charges and it's going on now all of the world and people hate them there's more happening

-the max are seeing as people who are aiding and abetting us because they are it's blasphemy it's illegal and what they're doing is considered to be very wrong my son and daughter think it's not the greatest for them either but really they don't mention it much. There's other things going on too

-there are a few people who are upsetting here and John remillard and Dave Terry cheesman there's a pile of idiots that are constant annoyances and keep on making dumb noises we are going to go after them and we're going to fix their wagon and very soon these movies are going to start they're going to go in space mess everything up and have the watchmen series and the movie and a whole bunch of them die in the movie permanently and don't come back one such character is the comedian and it's Justin and his people are dwindling right now to the point of Extinction and Ken says I can't handle you anymore you're acting like a real spaz and a queer hey start doing it towards the end of their Chinese food visit and pressure was mounting. Another such person is Michael too and his people are disappearing and he is going to be gone shortly he will be out fully we think both of them within a week. Fully dies in the movie The watchmen. You can see him die in the bar he is disassembled by a ship for one of the Doctor Manhattan characters and yeah it's a waste of time because Dr Manhattan is a nobody is a liar and a cheesy actor and you can see it in the movie. There are other things going on but there are some things that are nasty in that movie Dr Manhattan of course who's osterman who is Donald Trump the original dies and a whole bunch of his clones and they're dying in battles in the dining off screen it's not just a handful. In the movie too there are some other deaths that you're not aware of one of them is Rorschach and her son just cannot place to the guy is and he seen him around and it's not bja he thinks and he thinks it Anakin is him for some reason and a lot of people think Anakin is actually BG and you see it that they don't come in contact with Vader and BG it says Vader the first one he thinks is Stan which is not right because he's cutting stand in half and he went through this and Luke is getting in the ship so it does clear that up. And Rorschach is not bja and they take what he's saying and they mess it up in the trailer and it's horrible the guy was real mad and they wouldn't change it and they kept on answering me doing that because we want to and stuff one day they thought of changing it then they couldn't and they figured out who they said they're trying to but they see who it is and it was a Mac and he started to say they're the ones doing it and you figure out a lot of stuff and that's why he got hurt. He's not this mask character but he's always around and back in westborough he was somebody who is picking on our son quite a bit and St John's too he wouldn't shut up and it dies and it's quieter here and there's about 10 more and on the approach to the watchman is another 10 and after the watchman there's a series of them to go huge bundles of them and from here too and a large part they start leaving here in a few days because their numbers are getting low and it's going to be about 7% tonight and tomorrow will be 6% maybe 1% today and that's weakening them severely and they have to do stuff and they can't get back and it's a nightmare in this accident with a jet is going to cost them a lot of pain tonight lots of pain

-Tommy f is up in arms above his name being used in vain by us and others and he's making outrageous comments and he is going down people do not want to hear from him in a few moments he is going to try and come by here to kidnap our son he said and he's going to be stopped and others too have that odd plan and John remillard in Dave try every night and all day everyday and we are going to stop them using force and others are too here but Tommy f is reaching the end of his limit he said so we're going to have him reach that his people are stuck in their ships his chips are not launching he's running around being an idiot and it's going to cost him tonight massive assaults are planned on his ships that are preparing to launch and minor ones on the others to make sure that nothing gets out and nothing goes in it won't last too much longer the ships that are being courted off will only last a month or two after the end of 2 months all of them are out of supplies at one month half and most of the big ones will last less time is more work to do and it takes more energy than they need more food and they're going to come out because they'll be starving and eating each other and gross very gross. So he is a wanted man here and that's Tommy have huge number of people are seeking him on special warrant right now

We are going to post this is very important

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

I know he's having a hard day and I'm not going to do anything for him he's a huge b**** here and a****** a loser a mean person tries to take my stuff mess my stuff up poison me harm me I have to watch him all the time he's such a douchebag he's walking around with no pants on all the time just underwear like a child I'll tell you what he does so many illegal things during the day lewd behavior constantly jerking off in front of people all over town this guy's a huge huge f**** and his signaling people to disturb you constantly and I mean CAA and I tell you what he doesn't like our friend either but CAA hates Jason and Jason's falling apart but he was falling apart before and Saudi Arabian got his ass kicked and by the empire and we can't do anything and he's like our enemy because he chose to be I don't like these people at all anymore they choose to be your enemy and they just start bothering you and harassing trying to take it down take your stuff we're in a situation together against the empire and you people don't understand that concept and it's too bad and it's too late you keep doing stupid s*** and now I hear about these ships and I'm holding and harboring this fugitive so I have to kick him out and what a pain in the ass I changed the locks he's there breaking in right away I have to call the cops every 10 minutes so he says you're right the restraining order after you evict I'll do that too cuz they'll come by no matter how many times restraining orders work that way and it's good and it helps and he doesn't like him and fight to John remillard and the huge Tommy F guy and he deserves it it's also true it's very good I appreciate it and I'm going to start working on the document

Stan it's been agreed to and everybody knows it and my people are helping and other units of ours or clans that is and then Arnold too and other people are getting on board like bja so we have enough of this stupid hospital s*** even John remillard is going to try and stop it but no not Jason so he's going to be out there combing around for me like a little baby this nose right up my ass just like John River Lord has his up her friends and it's gross he's ruining things big things too

We're going to publish this is huge

Olympus

[tmabutlesbian]

i have a lot of AUs that make zero sense when you look at canon, and tbh thats quite the point of them!!

so anyways we all know that martin has been working at the archives since he was 18, right? 10 years of gertrude robinson shenanigans that he probs never saw cuz he was in the library. yknow who else was around? gerard keay

oh thats right baby. its gerrymartin time.

this shit gets long but y'all they mean so much to me srsly

imagine. bby martin, 18, who very much doesnt give a shit abt anything tbh, especially not himself, climbs atop a local library he likes (which is illegal but he doesnt care, hes chilling alright), working other jobs alongside the institute to pay for his mum's care and himself, stressed af, also still very much a teenager just trying his best, very unwell and it shows (but thats good cuz at least nobody questions his age too much)

also imagine. gerry coming up to the library, and very much seeing a?? person??? on top of it??? and goes "wtf" and climbs it, this somehow being the most interesting thing to happen despite all the shit from his mum, young but still a few years older than marto boy (4 years is my personal hc, so he's 22)

gerry sees martin and thinks "goddamn, its mental illness innit", notices martin is petting. a falcon?? what?? like its normal, and just kinda. strucks up conversation cuz martin looks very much like shit. also he's got a big bird in his lap (this is my crack hc that martin is like a disney princess)

martin, bless him, is very depressed and also tired and also doesnt have the energy to even smile so he just blankly looks at gerry and goes "oh what the hell, sure, he's hot why not" and proceeds to get a tiny wittle crush on gerry for the few months they meet in the library

gerry is fond of martin but thats it, doesnt want attachments, not with this lifestyle, not with his mother being a fucking greedy motherfucker, besides it only causes trouble. and he's not fooled, he knows martin is a bby. he hopes he gets better, cuz hes a nice kid

then gerry needs to deal wish some entities shit, he a busy boy as well, and he'll be away a little bit. he's trying to be more independent and find his own cases and shit without his mom, now that he knows her intentions and doesnt want her legacy. he wants his own. and sadly that means leaving martin alone for a little while

martin is very fucking upset but doesnt show it cause. well. he knows its not fair. he's grown to like gerry a lil bit and he's the only friend he's got. and now he's gonna be gone.

gerry wishes him good luck and tells him "take care of yourself yeah? if not for you, then for me." and that alone fills martin with some determination to actually get better. he doesnt know when gerry will be back, so he'll just. get better. he'll try. for gerry.

truly what happens is that he gets two years older and just a lot more accepting of what he's living in, so he jsut naturally gets better just by living basically the same way. he tries to take walks more tho, and starts writing again, cuz why not, gets into witchcraft again cuz he missed it (also a hc of mine, kinda crack, kinda serious), starts making tea for himself and then his coworkers

by 20, almost 21, he's still unwell per say, he's still depressed, but at least he's trying to do things he likes. thats what counts, hes trying. and he likes that. also he got a bit taller. and bigger, one of his jobs is kinda physically taxing so it just happens naturally

so when gerry comes back and sees martin smile at him, which never fucking happened before, also hes taller. and has muscle on his arms. and more freckles, look at that wow "i like men" basically

its kinda like, love at second sight, and gerry doesnt know how he feels abt it, so he procrastinates dealing with those feelings and just befriends martin all over again.

martin, for his part, had moved on from gerry a lil bit, but now the crush is back at full force, gerry looks cool, has new piercings, new tattoos?? his hair is still horribly dyed and he bullies gerry for it and this is when gerry finds out martin is a bit of a bitch, and also mean, and its cute

i'll talk more about what happens in a reblog or smth this is long af but yh <3<3<3<3 them

[musette22]

I normally don't pay a lot of mind to award shows because most of it has more to do with background string-pulling than anything else. I mostly like to see the outfits and the jokes/gags prepared by the hosts but that's it.

But I really wanted Sebastian to get that Emmy nom, if not just for him to get that recognition. He's such a fantastic actor and I feel that sometimes that gets overlooked because he does a lot more independent/smaller movies than big flashy ones with great promotion budgets. The way there were so many posts like 'wow sebastian stan is a great actor' after the first therapy scene and the wakanda scene... I was like 'YES HOW HADN'T YOU NOTICED BEFORE' because he's so good in all the mcu movies!

Also, the only cast nomination going to Don Cheadle when there were such great performances on that show...

Anyway, I'm sure Seb is genuinely happy for the nomination for the stunt team and he doesn't need the nomination to know he's a great actor and to love what he does. That's the thing I love the most about him - seeing how passionate he is for his job and how much he truly enjoys himself embodying his characters. I would absolutely love to work with someone like that by my side, that kind of energy is so uplifting. I guess it just would have been nice to see him get that sort of 'shoutout' to his work (also satisfying af after all that hate he's been getting but that's another story and it's not even worth mentioning those awful ppl😤)

Don't know if this is the kind of thing you're interested in (if not, really feel free to ignore the ask 😅), but as soon as I saw it I felt like coming here and sort of share cuz I got a lil bummed out, idk ahahahah it's silly.

Hope you're doing well ❤️

Christy! Thanks for your message, lovely ❤️ I would agree with you about award shows, yes 😅 And I know what you mean, Sebastian is SUCH a talented, dedicated actor, he definitely would've deserved an Emmy nom purely based on his talent, dedication and that Wakanda scene lol. It's great the general public is recognising his talent more and more (but yeah, HOW some people didn't see it before is a mystery to me), but it would be nice if critics/award shows showed him that recognition, too.

I totally agree with everything you said about Seb and how supportive and hard working and kind-hearted he is, and yeah it's a shame he didn't get the Emmy recognition this time around, but for this show, it was always going to be super complicated, and I guess there's something to be said for him receiving one for a show that isn't part of the big Marvel machine, some day down the line? Who knows, maybe Pam and Tommy will do it for him! All is not lost <3

Also yeah, as much as I love Don Cheadle, it's a bit odd to me that he got a nom but no one else did... 😅

Anyway, I totally understand that you were feeling a bit bummed out about it and you can always come here to vent about this kind of thing, my love! Sending you lots of hugs and hope your day is going very well 😘

[herondalegfsblog]

rereading chain of gold

no chain of iron spoilers pls i still havent read it

it’s so weird to see will as a dad like i’m used to him doing all the sneaking around and fighting, and now he’s all like worried about the kids and stuff. what???

i know lots of people love anna but like i dont find it “cool” or something that she sleeps with lots of girls then breaks their hearts. it’s not admirable. people definitely wouldn’t like it if it was a guy doing this, but because it’s a girl then “wow she’s a strong independent woman” ew no.

also why is lucie so insensitive about the fact that matthew loves her but she doesn’t love him back. like okay she can’t love someone she doesn’t love but she could be a bit gentler about it. plus when she was talking to matthew about his drinking and he asked if she was worried about him and she said she was worried he was gonna get james killed. that was so fucking harsh bro. like she basically said “i don’t care if you die, but my brother might get hurt if you do.” shit.

also anna just said she didnt have enough cake for everyone, so the girls can take but the boys wont “it’s only fair” she said. ew wtf? that’s not fair at all and is hella rude. this book’s trying to empower women and all but in doing so it’s degrading men. i hate that so much.

magnus just told james he was following in the herondale tradition of poor decision making and lucie said “so have i” cuz she didnt want to be left out. i seriously see her as so like pathetic and petty honestly.

magnus saying to james that in the past his parents would have been the ones spearheading this plan but they are no longer children is honestly so so sad.

i wish this new generation would hear all about what their parents have been through just so they could know that they can tell them about all these things happening and they don’t have to keep secrets. will herondale is like the king of secrets lmao.

lucie just told will “it isn’t just for boys to risk their lives for each other” HE NEVER SAID IT WAS. GOD. ALL HE SAID WAS THAT HER AND CORDELIA ARENT PARABATAI YET. i HATE how this book keeps making everything about genders, when it really isn’t.

aww matthew put his jacket on cordelia’s shoulders and his arm around her after she was wet from the river. how sweet is he? so he has a thing for lucie, but she sees him as a brother, and he has a thing for cordelia but she’s in love with james. jeez.

i hate how easy it was for lucie to take jesse’s last breath. she’s really very selfish. not just cuz of this tho i’ve seen proof of that a lot throughout this book.

they said that if they returned to the institute in this state “even will would be apoplectic” lmao i love that it says even will. i knew will would be so chill even as an adult.

lolll will was so mad when cordelia said her and james spent the night together lmao i cant. i mean it’s not like he was known for going to brothels when he was seventeen or anything. but cordelia said will was more deeply hurt than mad tho aww. ahahahahha and he was so happy when her and james were getting married lol. i love will.

aww cordelia said will had a boy’s mischief in the way he smiled. and she said even tho jem and tessa didnt age and he did, they both seemed older and more serious than he did. i wouldnt expect anything different from will herondale. to me, he’ll always be that same seventeen year old insubordinate, rebellious hero.

matthew is way more similar to will than james is. probs cuz he hates himself and is pretty depressed just like will was

[ketchup-monthly]

Sanders Sides D&D 2

Ooh fresh take: Jan is virge’s patron and that’s why there’s beef

Also: Jan is some sort of fae related being

Jan: i need you to do something for me Virgil: no Janus: that's not how this works!! Virgil: watch me :P

Okay so I was thinking of Patton as a cleric cuz ooh healer however, Patton as a Druid makes me so happy

I want logan to have Rage

(Also that could tie nicely in an arc about Logan learning to accept feelings)

but barbarian logan is going to be a scholar again and is gonna be smort

bc hes logan. he cant be not smart

Oh I figured he’d be the bbeg that eventually joins the party (hurt/comfort baybee!)(Remus)

he was the bbeg but then joined the party as a bardbarian or just a bard

plus, actual bard who accidentally casts vicious mockery instead of bardic inspiration

Side note: please include a scene where Remus attempts to seduce the dragon

also with this second au, i can start them at like level 5 so people can multiclass

Pat as cleric/druid

gasp logan as artificer/barbarian

janus sorcerer/rogue

because basically everything but alchemist would work well with barbarian, but alchemist feels very Logan

bc mad scientist being actually mad

alchemist logan making an experimental potion and going "here im not sure what this does but im sure its fine! someone drink it"

Remus does it voluntarily, but Logan usually tries to get Roman to drink it

Virgil will occasionally drink it when he's on his last legs and is just like.....100% done with the party

remus as a wild magic path barbarian and just fucking teleporting or doing something equally ridiculous whenever he rages

Oh my god Remus with rage would be a force to be reckoned with

You gotta describe the first time he goes into a rage really dramatically

obviously virgil is trying to "escape" his patron, Janus (really just do whatever he says to not do out of spite)

Eldritch knight roman

Feywild warlock virgil

hey so in the second d&d au, should roman and remus be actual full siblings but like remus went darkside and like romans just trying to get back at him for putting a dark stain on the family name

hey hey hey what about warforged Logan? (essentially a robot)(so like "i dont feel anything" becoming real)

okay hear me out. elf roman and elf base simic hybrid remus. so like maybe the reason remus went darkside was experimentation? so like. hes elf but special

FALLEN AASIMAR VIRGIL

virgil just transforming in the middle of a combat scenario and like his eyes turn into black pits and flightless skeletal wings appear on his back and like everyone near him has to make a charisma check and like he deals extra necrotic damage

Pat is the one human stuck in a band of misfits

so with it, roman would be a full elf, and remus would be an elf that has tentacles bc octopus

So robot logan

i meant literally he doesnt feel anything

like he has all the emotions, but he doesnt physically feel the need to like eat or sleep or stuff like that

he just.....he pretend he don't have the feelings.....but he do.....he feel so much and he hides it all in his littol mechanical heart <3

plus......if he warforged, then like.....AC huge

he stands in front of friends.....he protecc...."no, i don't have feelings, i am physically incapable of affection" but he do!! he do! he take hits for them because he do!! he care so much

Bro he spouts all this and then he uses a reaction to dive in front of someone and everyone’s just like oh

LIKE ROMAN STILL BEING MEAN TO LO BC HE THINKS HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE A HEART BUT HE DOES

hey hey everyone needs to grow

and logan standing up for himself and other people stepping in and saying no stop thats not right

plus if canon wont give me roman facing the consequences of his actions towards Logan......

but also Roman learning how to properly handle his own emotions and how he interacts with others

logan who doesn't view himself as anything more than a machine to be useful to others

the party giving logan love and affection until he slowly learns his own worth as a person

Roman and Logan not getting along (maybe Roman has a Lore reason to distrust Warforged, maybe not) and slowly learning to trust each other

when Logan is feeling real down or having some issue, Roman actually comes through to help him, showing how far both characters have come

Okay yes but also can we please give Roman more confidence than canon? Like I’m sooooo sick of low self esteem being played for laughs or just being really really sad

this boy is going on a mission and will slap his brother upside the head and tell him to shut tf up remus youre not a monster just come back home and he will do it alone if need be

OKAY SO WHAT IF HE ORIGINALLY WENT ON THE QUEST JUST TO STOP REMUS ONCE AND FOR ALL BC ROMAN THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER, BUT ALONG THE WAY, AND AFTER LOGAN, HE CAME TO REALIZE THAT NO, JUST BECAUSE REMUS (AND LOGAN) ARE DIFFERENT, THEY ARENT MONSTERS, JUST DIFFERENT

AND LIKE IN THE FINAL PUSH TO MAKE REMUS JOIN BACK WITH HIS BROTHER, ROMAN IS PROJECTING HIS OWN FEELINGS ONTO REMUS AND EVERYONE IS LIKE WOW BRO YOU GOOD THERE, BUT ITS A BIG MOMENT FOR LOGAN, ROMAN, AND REMUS

im unsure as to how, but it happened when he was an older teen/young adult. a simic scientist either picked him (read: kidnapped), or remus volunteered (potentially to escape court life, unaware what exactly the experiment was going to do to him physically

bc also, remus and roman are royalty

so like. how best to get at the nobes/royalty/rich famous people than by turning their kid into a monster

wait, wait, wait, because i'm lowkey a sucker for this trope, but i'm not sure if it fits Remus: the experiments left him with some fairly significant physical pain/uncontrolled magical reactions. through some combo of trying to deal with that and trying find a cure for his pain, he keeps like....absolutely wrecking random towns on accident but also deliberately wrecking certain places looking for either a) vengeance on the guy(s) responsible or b) someone who can make the pain stop

SO LIKE. WILD MAGIC BARBARIAN DOING WEIRD SHIT TO HIM WHENEVER HE RAGES

AND LOGAN COULD MAYBE HELP WITH THE PAIN AND SHIT

BC ALCHEMY

Yknow, for simplification purposes, we could say the True Bbeg just gave Remus lycanthropy and Remus hasn’t managed to control it yet

lycanthropy but simic shit?

Mr. I-Don't-Have-Feelings sees the poor dude in pain and also Roman in emotional pain from seeing his brother in pain and is absolutely like "i must resolve this like right now, immediately" because he definitely doesn't hate seeing his friend suffering, or his friend's brother whom he's just met

he definitely doesn't relate at all to the idea of someone else shaping your body and absolutely does not sympathize with Remus's plight

i was thinking the grappling thing and either manta glide or the ability to breathe underwater for the simic stuff, but like he doesnt have control over the tentacles yet?

Manta glide seems like we could have fun battle scenes

he just jumps off a cliff to avoid mushy talk/dealing with his actions/roman

Roman: Remus just because you're a monster and though i wish i was an only child-- Remus, jumping off a cliff: byyeeeeee Patton: Roman, look what you did! Virgil: dammit jan what did you do? Janus: why do you think i had anything to do with that? im a fae, not a genie Logan, thinking: what an asshole. i wish i could do that

oh my god Logan always being tired mentally bc he cant sleep

Oh my gosh I love that. So Remus got kidnapped super young, (from royal family) they never found him, as a result Roman had to grow up super fast (side effect: lowkey inconsiderate and forgets to ask for others input). Meanwhile, Remus was experimented on by True Bbeg and came out with some trauma and super cool additives

yep! chronic pain and ptsd and all sorts of other shit!

so like, simic hybrids are usually created when they're adults. but what if the true bbeg decided to go younger to see what would happen, and thats why remus has chronic pain and stuff

he was still growing when his genes were spliced, so hes dealing with growth plates shifting and his body maturing and puberty and body changes and stuff

Pat is going to have a lighthearted story. Im saying that now. Hes the one without all the baggage

Sure, but his parents have to lowkey be the really kind people who are surprisingly always down for violence

everyone: multiple crises Pat: y'all need help Pat: love and affection in spades for his little band of misfits

Patton (which I think would be pretty simple, honestly he might just see danger and jump in and suddenly everyone in the party has Feelings)

Logan

Mhm. So how did he grow up? Was he just poof created? Wait

What if he was created by the king?

To make up for remuss disappearance

wait, wait....angst......he was created to fight (hence the barbarian stuff) but alchemy is his real passion

wait so like. a second son???

hes there to replace remus?

Yea! (But like in a sympathetic grief way) But that causes a bit of a complex in Roman and ergo Roman and Logan have a bit of a beef

okay so like. hes there to be a companion for roman, and like take remus' place, even though hes not actually in line for the throne?

LOGAN AS A KNIGHT

and just......the conflict of being created for a specific purpose (plus being, you know, robot and technically incapable of deviated from said purpose) vs the fact that he actually does have independent consciousness and like....wants to live life for himself

the parents made Logan a barbarian in hopes that him and Roman would be safe

okay. so logan was created by the king with the sole purpose to take remus' place as romans brother/companion, and to be his like guard? protector? and fight, but logan wants to be an alchemist and study shit

wait, wait, wait.....thinks about Asimov's Laws

he.....his first operative is protect (specifically protect Roman)

oh man. so hes literally just a shield

his second level operative is just like.....care for Roman's emotional well-being, but he doesn't really know emotions because he was kinda just spawned and nobody told him how

and he just....kind of....lets Roman treat him like garbage and take all his grief out on him because he's staunchly in denial of both having feelings or knowing how they work

Anyway Yea so Logan created by royal family in place of Remus which created angst between the two “brothers” and identity issues in Logan. Their arcs are learning how to healthily process emotions plus Roman apology and Logan commits to alchemy

So big question: why did virge make a deal?

Tricked

he gave janus his name

and instead of janus like killing him or whatever the fae do to people who break the rules of dealing with the fae, jan was like. hey. i'll give you magic, but do what i say

Janus is lawful neutral, but leans towards being selfish

hes self serving, but he has a strong set of morals and rules he follows

Tho I want to Virgil to also not be pushover so let’s say loophole happened and Jan has to stay with virge (hence why Jan is a part of the party)

okay so a couple of the rules are dont give a fae your true name and don't try to figure out their true name

So

what if virgil accidentally gave up part of his true name, and got stuck in the deal, but then figured out janus' true name

so in the same vein that janus had control over virgil, virgil now has more control over janus

he still gets his magic from janus, so he cant break free completely, but virgil has more freedom and can occasionally tell janus what to do or when to shove it

there should a running gag where virge can explain how he learned Jan’s true name but Jan can make something loudly censor him every time

(he learned his name bc once he heard janus practicing his evil genius voice and talking to himself in the mirror and janus said his true name)

so maybe janus sent virgil on the quest to protect a town or stop something related to remus, but virgil dragged him along

he might just be trying to protect a town thats close to a ley line, or something fae-related, and they just happen upon the whole thing

janus is selfish. but lawful vs chaotic is where he comes through, in morals vs doing whatever. janus has a strong set of loyalties to the fae, and to himself

so like....Remus is just too close to Jan's stuff and he wants to take him down

Virgil is just like....exhausted and said "fine, but if i gotta do this, you're coming, too"

or at least figure out a way to protect his place, even if it doesnt mean fully taking out remus. just moving him would work for jan

Janus: virgilllllllllll hes going to mess up my magic storage locker Virgil: Jan, its empty Janus: but its mine

Yea. Remus attacks a city away from the fae: Jan: Yknow I’m gonna sit this one out Virge: oh no you don’t, get up

Or

Janus vs Janice

so his real name is Janus, but Virgil calls him Janice

Virgil: This is Janice Janice: with a “U-S” Virgil: mhm, sure Jan

I'm a big fan of just like any of the old theory name being various aliases for Jan

Damien, Dante, Ethan, Declan, etc, etc

[rosartemis]

Your Phenomenal Dramaturgy DSMP Animatic

Was gonna post a YouTube comment, but then I realized I didn’t want to get eviscerated by the dsmp fandom for having a different opinion, so submitting my interpretation of the lyrics/animatic in regards to c!Dream here instead :P

“But I don’t know a thing, love or losing, see?” I believe references how before Wilbur and L'manburg these kinds of conflicts/wars were never a thing on the server and Dream had no idea how he should deal with it. “So I threw to the side any human in me.” Implies Dream believed he had to make harsh choices to end the conflict, he couldn’t be soft, “No mercy” right? “If I live a lie of shallow words and empty replies, then what am I?” implying Dream keeps his word, but the people of L'Manburg don’t. It’s framed as a response from Dream to Wilbur during the declaration of independence, and makes sense if you consider the fact that Wilbur was scamming everyone out of their own potions supplies and made L'Manburg in part as an excuse to get away with it when the other members of the server got mad (Dream was uninvolved at this point, but he likely heard about it from Sapnap, who was one of the people that had confronted Wilbur and Tommy about their theft). “Then it stuck in my head, gotta run away” Dream and Sapnap getting carried away with burning down the forest surrounding L'manburg. “Playing out like a scene, posing every lead Near the end of the show, waiting in the wing, see?” Not sure about the first line, aside from referencing how everything’s a play and Dream’s the lead actor, but the second line refers to Eret’s role as the hidden traitor “Waiting in the wings”. “Run to front stage, you’re all actors anyway, no one to watch, You’re all part of the play” Dream having to make tough decisions as the de facto leader of the Greater Dream SMP faction during war. He’s planning out strategies with George and Sapnap, but the map turns into a chess game and he hates how he has to consider using them like pawns in the game to win this war. “There’s no one inside me There’s no one that’s hiding Always been me, empty, a body but nobody here to see” Montage of Dream prepping for the battle, there’s a scene in which he’s stepping into an argument between George and Sapnap. He’s steeling himself for the battle ahead. From a meta standpoint, these are all the scenes we as viewers never got to see, but they still happened, and it was still Dream who had done all this for his faction. “And knowing that those eyes are watching…” From the animatic implies that Dream seems to think things aren’t quite over yet, so he’s keeping an eye on things. “Til before we could see, we were monsters in skin ” Dream and his relationship with being called a monster/tyrant/villain continuously by the other members of the server, in particular those that are a part of L'Manburg. Could also be how he hadn’t noticed himself slipping into that role until far too late. “But even if I had tried to move on, why can’t I leave my past?” Same as above, but this time with the bonus of Pogtopia Wilbur manipulating him and convincing him he’ll be nothing more than a tyrant, a villain despite his clear attempts to amend that opinion of him and change by siding with Tommy (and Wilbur), who he thought were the “good guys”. ““Considering it’s you, better give up soon” “Cuz no matter what you do, you will always lose”” Dream talking in reference to Tommy and Wilbur (?). “And then I was alone way before I knew Blocking every little thought that I couldn’t sit through” George leaving the conflict (and Dream) alone to build his own thing. Dream realizing he’s alone/his friends don’t seem to care about him as much as he does them, and trying not to think about it. “All they want now is safety from what’s around Waiting for help but never learning how” Dream constantly covering for George and Sapnap during conflicts they got themselves into without asking for anything in return, and George and Sapnap never learning how to stop causing conflicts/resolve them by themselves. (taking advantage of Dream’s help) “I don’t wanna think now” Doesn’t want to remember the good times he’s had with everyone/his friends. Him swiping away the pieces like he wants to stop this stupid game of chess. “I’ll play dumb anyhow” Reference to Dream losing his godly powers because of the exorcism and being split into 2 (as explained by creator of the animatic) and pretending everything was fine afterwards. “Always been me, empty, a body but nobody here to see” Realization he’s lost his powers and can’t rely on XD to help resolve the Manberg/Pogtopia conflict. Here his mask goes from covering the top of half of his face to covering his entire face, a “loss of humanity”/“empty” (from a circle to being fully molded onto his face covering), and is also when the strings motif starts. Trading chessboards for puppet strings. Very obviously, you can see him slipping and his mental state deteriorating. “So standing at the front line and maybe this time I’ll be there with a flag high” Reference to the Manburg shield hinting at his allegiance and how he’s leading the Manburg “army” during the battle. “Outmatched but easygoing "Never gonna need a script with me”“ Dream surrendering and playing along with their expectations (Pogtopia winning against Manberg). "Oh you too yes yes so take a deep breath "Swear that you’ll see me again” One chance is all I have now And so I better make it count Climatic ending, come see The final act, I’m shaken to my knees" Speaking to Tommy about meeting him for the final confrontation, Tommy realizing this is his chance to take down Dream for good, “climatic ending” the finale Dream’s planned out for them. Dream is determined to see things through to the bitter end. “Yet crying and lonely” But what has he lost to get to this point? (also the juxtaposition of Doomsday Dream with his armor and cloak staring at the sunset atop his obsidian grid, framed by destruction being swapped out for an image of the old Dream, still with strings tied to his hands, but staring up at the softer night sky being framed by trees, is just, so good) “The world that I locked out is nowhere to find The people who mocked me are gone from my sight Emotions and feelings are useless to keep The tears that had fallen were not mine to weep” Hardening his heart against George/the rest of his friends (who later in turn abandoned him/left him), beating down those who had wronged him in the past, letting go of Spirit and the attachment associated with them so they’ll never be used against him again (representing him cutting off the rest of his attachments to do the same thing) despite it being very obviously painful and hurting to do so. (choosing to let go, but finding that doing so hurts anyways. Crying for something you think you shouldn’t cry for.) “The kindness and warmth, I can’t feel them at all The hands that are offered, I’m scared that I’ll fall The hole dug inside me can’t hold any love Instead, you can see me break down from above” Unable or unwilling to form healthy emotional attachments/connections with other people. He’s scared that if he does he’ll just be hurt again, and so he pushes them away, even those who’d offer him their help. He’s lost so much that he’s grown emotionally repressed (his past as Cornelius and how he lost his entire family in a week) and has trouble feeling things like “love”, and starts collapsing under the lose. (his mental health spiraling hard) “Hey, remember when you saw that they were nearing their end? And you looked like you were laughing at the pain they were in But what did you see? Oh really what could it be Well, take a breath ‘cuz you’ll need it, so c’mon saying” Something more happening with Dream behind the front of “big bad villain” that he puts on for the rest of the server, what was he really feeling? What was he really planning? We don’t know. “We’re pulling at the boundary, unseen A curtain dyed in black soon came to be And knowing that those eyes are watching…” The end of a season/the “show”, Dream’s put in prison and the curtains appear to be closing, but there’s still some loose ends that haven’t been tied with the other characters, and Dream’s presence can still be felt all around the server despite him being locked up in a literal torture box with no real power (power that could get him out of said torture box). (also, just loved how you incorporated the chorus! I’ve known about Dramaturgy for a long time but hadn’t realized how well the lyrics just fit with the DSMP plotline XD)

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Wow, thanks for such a detailed response to my animatic :D I’m really glad you enjoyed it enough to type so much out!

I really like your interpretation, you basically got most of the things I was going for. While I yearn to type out something longer, I don’t really want to tell people how to interpret something lol

Thanks again <3

[tutubola-moved-on]

Hi I like music and I kind of go wayyy too deep into the TPN soundtrack and I think it's about time I start throwing my thoughts out there before they spiral too much

Disclaimer!!! This is not a complete analysis at all, just a few thoughts on each of the songs. I'll probably revisit some of them in future parts if I ever do those aha anyways enjoy

(Part 1/?): 63194, Emma's Sorrow, Emma's Determination, 22194, Norman's Lament, The Promise Between Humans and Demons, Jailbreak and Isabella's Lullaby.

(manga spoilers)

I've done a lil smth smth on Main Theme 2 already and its my favourite song like ever aha this is a cry for help

here you go people

but now anyways fr

63194 (Season 1)

Wouldn't have started with this one cuz I'm still figuring it out but it was the first one that came up when I pressed shuffle

Let's just go straight to the point so we can move on. The first time we hear 63194 is in episode 2, when Norman is talking to Ray about their plan in the forest (or, as I like to call it, "boat scene"). It reaches its climax when Norman starts talking about how he'll use himself to ensure the escape plan will work.

And then it's only used again in episode 8, if I'm not mistaken, after Isabella tells them about Norman's shipment, thus foreshadowing him refusing to escape and using his "death" as a tool to help the others escape.

But alsooo the song is Emma's theme, so there's definitely some sort of meaning other than foreshadowing Norman's shipment. That's for later though cuz I'll have to think more. The beginning does sound a lot like Strauss' Metamorphosen, a piece symbolising how German culture was destroyed during WW2. Not sure what to do with that info for now.

If you'd like a little extra stuff, I also tried connecting the pieces to the Doctrine of Affections, a... thing some Baroque composers wrote that connected music keys to feelings. (I found many sources but I used this one).

63194 is in C Minor, which is described as "innocently sad" (although another source said "sweet but sad") and "lovesick." I think innocence really describes Emma, Ray, and Norman in general, as kids who never did anything wrong but were thrown into the wrong world. Innocently sad would be their conversations in boat scene. They're talking about life or death, it's not something kids should have to deal with.

But again, it's hopeful. Norman wants to create a boat made out of mud---he wants to save everyone---and he really believes it'll work. So although sad, it's also sweet. It's a light at the end of the tunnel, and also just an act of kindness. As for "lovesick," that would just describe Ray and Emma's inevitable longing for Norman after he was gone. Which brings us to...

Emma's Sorrow (エマの悲しみ) (Season 1)

The two times I remember Emma's Sorrow played was 1) When they first talked to Don and Gilda about the house and 2) During the infirmary flashback scene.

The Doctrine of Affections describes E Minor as "grief and longing." In the infirmary flashback scene that obviously not only shows how Norman longs for that time when they didn't know anything and everything was light and happy but also, once again, foreshadows Emma eventually having to grieve him.

Especially because they don't play the staccato part (short quick notes) that's in the original version. Instead, the strings are always present. In staccato, the music gets pretty,,, lowkey? because the instruments can't exactly "show off," whereas the legato (long/connected notes) really shows the true importance and impact each individual instrument has on the song. Considering how the strings (specifically the violins) in the soundtrack could symbolise Norman, it's showing how Norman is not just another guy who's in their group and planning the escape, but an actual friend they'll lose and who'll leave a significant emptiness behind. Not only brain power wise, but just.. you know he's a human being and it's gonna hurt either way.

Not only that, but the harmonies itself in Emma's Sorrow once the strings really do come in are really incomplete. Like, the piano part seems to be all over the place, but it comes together because of the strings. Norman was the one who brought Emma and Ray together, in a way, and isn't Emma and Ray clashing exactly what Shirai wanted when he sent Norman away? Yea...

And Emma's Sorrow is, of course, parallel to:

Emma's Determination (エマの決定) (Season 1)

Yea no I'm still gathering thoughts on that one. The ascending bass contrasting the descending bass in Emma's Sorrow is pretty cool, though. It plays when Don is going off about how he wants to be strong after punching Ray and Norman and it's in F# Minor, so "passionate resentment." Connect both and Don really is ready to change the world. He got slapped with this very very bad reality and naturally he's angry and he's sad and he wants to do anything in his power to save people.

But back to Norman.

(hi future me here. oh my god why am i only talking about norman this was not the route this was originally going to take im so sorry i swear there's more to this post than just norman brain rot 22194 is the last norman one)

22194 (Season 1) and Norman's Lament (ノーマンの嘆き) (Season 2)

22194 is in B Minor, so "patience" and "walking towards fate." That's pretty self explanatory considering how he, and I quote, "chose death." Yea. G Minor would be "uneasiness of the future," and once again, pretty self explanatory (The whole Lambda seizures thing and I'm The Only One Who Can Save The Humans Syndrome. Normy worries too much :/)

Comparing both is pretty fun, too. It's the same melody but in different keys and instruments and thus just give off different feelings. While 22194 is full of instruments and harmonies and is clearly structured, Norman's Lament is just. Empty. It's like it's trying to stay true to 22194, so the Norman from before, but at the end of every musical sentence it just drifts off. You can see parts of 22194 in there, but it's not the same. At all.

There's also no harmony. He wants to do everything himself, and discards all his bonds and friends for that. So sad. Stop him.

All that while 22194 is rich and beautiful and oh my god i love that song so much and it's just showing how Norman was a lot more lively and layered and human when he allowed people to come into his life (the harmonies) and listened to those people instead of just locking himself up and doing everything himself.

So in conclusion cuz I ramble a lot, 22194 is about GF Norman, who hadn't gone through all those things that turned him "evil," who trusted his friends and believed everything had a good, ethic solution. Norman's Lament is about Lambda/post-Lambda Norman, who had gone through a whole lot, and was now in a downwards spiral and had left everything behind to become God or whatever, but was also in denial that he had changed in the first place.

does this make sense no idea i'm typing this while sleep deprived and high on bread and i failed english this quarter

but that aside

The Promise Between Humans and Demons (人間と鬼の約束)(Season 2)

I love this song!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!! I love the percussion, it's used so well. And I love the way the song builds up and adds more and more instruments until it eventually reaches a climax, like the growing tension between the humans and the demons during the war that snowballed and snowballed and eventually caused both sides to resort to the Promise.

And when the song comes down you can hear a very short "first draft" ish version of Isabella's Lullaby.

It's as if yes, all this mess went down and the demons and humans made this huge promise that completely changed the world and affected an entire society but then far far away from the Seven Walls and the Promise and oblivious of the Ratri Clan and the demons were these two tiny tiny children just singing a song and living happily. And those children---and that song---were the foundation for the entire revolution that ended with the Promise. Wow.

And it's in D Major, D Major is "Triumphant." The song itself sounds triumphant, and yes the Promise was gross but it was a nice little hello kitty band aid over the mess that was the world before it.

What was truly triumphant, though, was the kids' escape, which happened to the same melodic theme, albeit in a different key. Which leads me to...

Prison Break (脱獄) (Season 1)

Oh my God. I love this song.

It symbolises the kids breaking ties with Isabella and how many obstacles were in the way (not only was she their mom; their only mom who had cared for them for their entire lives, but she was also their enemy and did everything she could to prevent them from escaping). The second the brass comes in with the theme (around 0:53) it sounds like it's struggling to play it fully. In this case, Isabella, once the singing parts, would have lost her voice after being outwitted by the children (keep in mind the song starts playing after they've already reached the wall). After all, the song starts with a voice that seems to get more and more desperate before it's overrun by instruments, thus losing its power.

So she's trying to control them and get them back, but they won't let her. They're going to break free. So you have the melodic theme playing with significant breaks, until eventually it all goes silent. Why? Because they escaped. Isabella completely lost contact with them, they're free. And then you get the same melodic theme in The Promise Between Humans and Demons.

But the theme isn't played full. It's not played to the extent that they play it in TPBDAH, instead there's a lot of just "blank space" with no melody above it: that's where the children will write their melody---their story; a story independent from the Promise that shaped their lives thus far.

AGH.

I need a break but I'll be back

Isabella's Lullaby (イサベラの唄)

OK OK Continuing on Isabella I love how Sarah Alainn sings like she's crying. I really recommend this if you want to go deep on Isabella's Lullaby, they pretty much said everything I had to say. I don't go on youtube like ever and that might as well be one of my favourite videos LOL anyways

I also really recommend listening to the no vocal/piano solo version, the harmonies are so beautiful. And the more you listen to it the more you hear, there's always something new. The violins especially oh I love the way Takahiro Obata uses violins. Honourable mention to Nat King Ballade (ナットキングバラード) and Each Thought (それぞれの想い) (idk if thats the english name for it,,,, i've seen it as "Their Own Thoughts" too)

WELL THEN. What a ride. I'll go to sleep now. If anything is incoherent or u just wanna talk then send me askies or a dm smth idk aha i like music but i hate grammar :P

[futurewriter2000]

What I like about the signs

Aries: They are a fun. I don't know how else to describe it but they have this thing where they joke around and speak in this humorous manner that's really attractive. When they look at you it's like they soothe you with their eyes. It's kind and gentle that just speaks "Relax. You're safe." They are quite easy to talk to, always keen on getting to know new people and new things. They are so adrorable.

Taurus: They are one of the most stubborn people I have ever met but it's funny when you tell them something they just stare at you a while with those confused eyes and keep denying it, even though they know they are in the wrong. It's a bit frustrating but it's fun. They also have this warm energy around you that if I was with a Taurus, I could just lean on them and take a nap. They are like this warm, cosy, safe, comfortable pillow that you just can't wait to hold or hug. Very huggable indeed.

Gemini: I know Geminis hear this a lot but they are the funniest people to talk to. They have this youthful energy that lights up the room and such a natural ability to make you laugh. Sometimes they just do these funny faces when you're angry at them and it doesn't take you long to start laughing. And if you really know a Gemini, you'd know that they are very emotionally strong. They hold so much inside but it doesn't even show. People say Geminis havetwo faces but in reality, it's like they are fighting with good an bad inside. Geminis go through a lot of shit but they still stand tall. I respect them.

Cancer: I love cancers. They are literal teddy bears when it comes to this signs. They have the most adorable cheeks and such a lovely smile. When I see a cancer, I just want to hug them because they look so innocent and conflicted. They have such a sensitive side and they are not afraid to show it. They will express their emotions through things they love and when they do their face just lights up. The corners of their lips rise up and their cheeks reach their eyes and just the laughter- oh the lovable laughter of the cancer is just contagious.

Leo: The things I love about leos so much is that they will always go for the things they want. They don't take, they grab it. There are leos that are passionate and fiery and then you have the soft, genlte leos that just do their thing without anybody getting in their way. What I noticed with leos is that they become extremely soft and baby-like when they are being loved by their person or family. It's like they keep putting up a show but when they come home, to their safe place, surrounded by the people who love them and who they love, it's like they turn into such a calm, resting and lazy cub. Also let's be hinest. Leo insults are funny af. They are rude but it's funny.

Virgo: You the best Virgo. You just the best. What I love about you is how you can mind challange me. Like you I'm trying to tease you but I end up the one flustered and embarassed because you just know so much. And you're so funny when a person gets to know you. You're so much more than the stereotypical "boring neat freak" because you can be so messy and so confused that it's just so cute. And your eyes are so special. They hold such a spark that makes a person just go "wow". Or more like "wOw"... If you know what I mean ;)

Libra: Oh libras you little flirts. You just get everything with your irresistable charm. You don't even try but you charm it without even knowing. I don't know many libras but every libra I met has always got that charm and OMG YOUR LAUGH! It's so contagious. You know how to make a person laugh and charmed and just MWA MI LIBRAS.

Scorpio: Oh, Scorpio, Scorpio. I know what a lot of people say about you but don't listen to them. You are an intense emotional warm-hearted person. I don't know how to say this because I don't know many Scorpios in my life but I enjoy your company. You always want to be this mysterious person and I really like that about Scorpios. Being a mystery is something so beautiful. Just because some people cannot get that some shit are private, doesn't give them the right to call you an asshole. You're just an intense feeler. It's something you should be proud of. Also the eyes man 👌 mwa.

Sagittarius: Sagis... So a lot of people always say how adventorous, high-class and open you are. Well, they forget that Sagis are actually babies that need to be pampered a lot. Not by other people but by themselves. You are independant and you will stay that way. Yes it's so good being spoiled by someone else but you prefer being spoiled by yourself and you love spoiling other people. In the end all that high-class, "too cocky" attitude is just a mask for the cute, caring baby you are. I don't know a lot of you but I know a few and I know that you guys arw not all bad. You're not all self-centered, spoiled, brats. Ypu're more than that, so much more and more amazing and only those closest to you get to see that.

Capricorn: Sometimes I wonder where yall go bc yall rare as a unicorn, which says a lot. A lot of people say you are too stern, too serious, too private but I say you value yourself and ypur future more than what other people think of you. So what if you dom't live up to other peoples expectation. To me, you guys rock. Why? Well because one: you are smart as hell, two: you can be sarcastic if you want to and its usually next level of sarcasm, three: yall are actions and not just words and that is a major good character development. Yes you can be a procrastinator that overworries a lot but you get shit done. I want to marry a capricorn tbh.

Aquarius: Lately... I've not been feeling aquas but imma try my best here. Yall are some shapeshifters, Imma tell ypu that. You weird but good kind of weird- UNIQUE! That's the word. You have this thing that makes you stand out and people love you for it. You might overthink things but man people love you. Why? Because you have something on you that shines out like a dimaond. And yall can be looking homeless one second but next you be slaying the red carpet. Also you would do anything for the person you love. Anything. Literally kill people for them anything. Joker and Harley Quinn kind of love.

Pisces: Oh yall males and females be like two poles of the earth but alright. Yall eyes... Yall goddman eyes are like puss in boots with sand in his eyes scene. Do you know how hard it is to stay mad at you? Cuz you just look at me and I'm like "I wiull never evah hurt you, uwuwu" cooing to yall and making me soft. It's good tho because yall can be so broad-minded. Like you look like you're not in the conversation but you hear me, the table next and God up there, and Satan probably because you guys arent as innocent as you appear to be. People underrate you. You are one of the most intelligent peole to know and also naturally awkward, which is extremely cute. And also naturally attractive which I also do not get.

[excitedlysuffering]

Deidara Headcanons Collection

Oh god I’m like minutes from being too late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEI🥺❤️😍

What He Looks For In A S/O~

• He would most likely want someone who was an artist, cuz he needs someone who understands and relates to his passion and will challenge him on perspectives (respectfully, ofc)

• Needs someone who is as active as he is, he could not deal with someone who wanted to stay home all the time

• Dei is a wild child so whether he knows it or not, he’s going to need someone to balance him out with a more calm/logical outlook on life

• But that’s not to say he wants to date a square cause that’s a big fat LIE

• He needs an S/O who’s able to keep with his spontaneous attitude and mood swings

• He’d probably be drawn to the innocence of his S/O, he’s seen and done a lot of hard things in his life so would love to be able to leave the darkness behind around you

• If his S/O was a shinobi he’d be relieved cause they can take care of themselves, but he would also want to accompany you on missions because this boy can WORRY

• If you’re not a shinobi, he wouldn’t mind all that much cause he doesn’t have to be concerned with you getting injured on missions, but he would want to teach you the basics defense combat

• This boy just needs some love with a capital L, tbh

Relationship With Dei Stuff~

• He’s surprisingly empathetic and can pick on your emotions/moods quite easily but that doesn’t mean he always acts on it

• He’s a naturally happy person so negative emotions are a bit hard to deal with

• If you’re just grumpy, he’ll just stay out of your way (a bit) but if you’re really struggling or on suffering through Satan’s Week he’ll try to do his best to comfort you

• (be patient with him)

• Even though he can’t take you out on dates to the city like he wants to, he’ll improvise

• Boi isn’t an artist for no reason

• Ofc he takes you out to see his art and to fly on his creations, but he’s a romantic at heart and loves cheesy cliches

• Watching the sunset on picnics

• If he’s free camping in the forest

• Or just art dates where you guys will find a common project and will work on it together

• Bonus points towards you if you and Sasori can at least tolerate each other

• They might never admit out loud, but they are best friends

• Even if no one could ever tell

• The three of you are around each other a lot so if you and Sasori are always arguing or getting on each other’s nerves your relationship could suffer a little because of it

• LOVES to spoil you. Like just because

• If you and Dei are dating, you two make a great team whether it’s art collabs, missions, or just life in general

• He can be a real sweetheart and is more sensitive than people give him credit for so if you just love on this boy you’ll have him forever

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Insulting or just plain not acknowledging his art goes without saying, I would think

• I haven’t seen this mentioned before, but hating on or trying to avoid his mouth hands. Although they’re a huge part of his life they’re also strange so he can be a bit insecure

• Being insensitive about his speech tic (un, yeah, hm) he’s already come to term with them, but he doesn’t need you, or anyone else rubbing it in

• As stated earlier, not being able to get along with Sasori, or him just generally disapproving of you more than he does the average person

• Being overly clingy. Example, when he’s working on his art and you’re all over him, infringing on his special time

• Playing hard to get or trying to make him jealous. Dei is naturally impatient so it makes no sense as to why you’re trying to get a rise out of him. He can pretty blunt and he expects you to just come out and say it if something is bothering you.

• Slightly nsfw, but pulling on his hair. He doesn’t like his hair being ripped out in the slightest

• Being friends with Tobi

Soft Deidara Things~

• Definitely one for matching shirts (i.e His= Art is a bang! Yours= I’m a bang!)

• He loves to just cuddle up with you after a long day, no words he’ll just collapse on you

• PLAY. WITH. HIS. HAIR.

• Brush it, braid it, comb it, whatever, but it’ll soothe the heck outta him

• He really loves to pick out your clothes. Dei is a fashion master and he loves seeing you in clothes he likes

• Will be that one person to sleep crazy to the point of kicking you off the bed. Now you sleep literally on top of him so he’s pretty still

• Loves to wake up before you to look at you like ‘wow she loves me??’

• Can actually cook really well (i mean he did live on his own for a while) and loves having you try new recipes he’s come up with

• Just loves being around you, you’re presence can calm him like no other

Random Dei Facts~

• His love language is a mix of words of affirmation and physical touch

• As much as he likes to go go go, he also appreciates a good nap here or there

• He’s bad at taking care of himself like he’s on the brink of artistic genius and he’ll genuinely forget to eat or sleep

• Has a big thing for music, whether it’s a song or just instrumental he loves the environment it brings

• He doesn’t quite have PTSD, but somethings do trigger him or make him anxious. You just can’t live like he does and not be effected

• That one scene where he’s recruited and is under Itachi’s Sharingan/genjutsu and calls Itachi art and then is repulsed by the thought really makes me think that one of Dei’s biggest fears is thinking/realizing someone’s art is better than his own

• He isn’t religious but is a strong believer in fate, karma, and such things

• Contrary to popular belief, he doesn’t use his hand mouths for anything other than art. Those are his art tools, his partners, and he’d be much too weirded out to use them for anything different

• He’s like a scarily healthy eater. Not necessarily vegetarian/vegan but is a calorie counter and has a very balanced diet

• He loves to do little not so harmless pranks on Itachi as mini revenge. He’s even more ruthless as Itachi begins to lose his eyesight

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Behind your ear because he loves hugging you from behind and surprising you

• Way to hug- As previously stated, from behind cuz he feels like he’s protecting you and you fit in his arms like a puzzle

• Thing to do with you- Discuss or work on art projects together or in each other’s general vicinity

• Cuddle position- Lotus (you in his lap, facing him, your legs around his waist) cause he just loves to hold you and you can easily mess with his hair

• Type of date- Anything that’s just the two of you spending quality time away from his busy life

This or That-

• More of a summer person, he loves the outdoors, even more now that he has someone to share it with

• Definitely a night person. He gets more done at night but also loves being able to unwind with you

• Likes to cook more than being cooked for, cause he likes treating you

• Is not much of a reader, it can’t hold his attention for long, but occasionally will ask you to read to him if he likes the sound of your voice. He does

Conflict Happenings~

• Passionate and Stubborn Boi™

• If you’re also headstrong, there will be plenty of arguments, usually over small things

• Best case scenario, something says something that makes you both laugh and problem solved or you end up making out (cuz oh my jashin scowling Deidara can step on my NECK)

• Worst case scenario, someone storms out and you don’t talk for a bit

• When he wants he can give a verbal tongue lashing harsh enough to make anyone cower

• Eventually, one of you will cave. You miss each other too much and even art isn’t filling the void

• Apologies are mumbled but heartfelt as to not bruise either of your egos but also cuz you’re both genuinely sorry

• However, if you’re not confrontational, it might actually cause him to mellow out a bit (only around you though)

• He can’t bring himself to have a one-sided argument with you. It makes him feel guilty and does a lot of damage

• Instead, he might actually talk things out, courtesy of self-calming techniques you probably showed him at one point

Modern Dei~

• He’s that one college student that is at every party but still gets great grades??

•!He has a double major for sure, art and chemistry, cause how else is he going to make perfect explosions?

• If he wasn’t recruited to a sports team (I could see him doing gymnastics or wrestling honestly) then you had best believe he’s a serious martial artist

• He’s smart and sells (non-explosive) sculptures for money on the side

• He loves road trips, doesn’t care as much about the destination, he just loves driving places

• A serious ride or die friend, like loyal to a fault, but if you ruin that he won’t make any efforts to restore it

• Incredibly independent and struggles to ask for help even if he’s bad at a particular subject

•’CEO of completing assignments the night before its due and still acing it

• His living space is purely organized chaos like everything has it’s own system even if it looks like a mess

• Wouldn’t mind having a roommate, but he’s also used to living alone so he’s fine either way

• If he did, it’d probably be Sasori, cause he’s one of the only people who could TRULY handle Dei 24/7 (barely)

• Isn’t an overachiever, but just like with art, if someone’s going to see his work, it’s going to be his best work

• Even when his friends drink, he’s not that big on it. Feels like it hinders his inspiration and he gets AWFUL hangovers and can barely handle it

• Modern Dei is a great Dei, cause no matter what our blonde baby is best. Period.

[whydoishipthemsomuch]

rant abt being gnc as a child

so I see the kind of movie that explores how the feminine girl is more than just being the girly girl theme so much(eg.legally blonde)but never see any genuine exploring of gnc girls being framed as a streotype like that?In movies, for gnc girls, it’s always they are nerds and it’s makeover time!!!for them and then they look beautiful now or they find it kind of uncomfortable so they find a middle ground or whatever, it’s OH I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOOK LIKE THIS and baam! everyone else just changes their opinion. Which annoys me because as much as I like the streotype breaking girly girl theme exploring, as a young girl who was gender non conforming,I had a hard time bc my family already thought I was “not like other girls”,they would laugh and say “but you don’t like that kind of thing” when I was slightly older and wanted to try something feminine by my own choice, guys would laugh and say you still look like a man when I dress up, act surprised when I said I liked Disney or other soft things and saying “wow you were a girl afterall” and I would always be “the strong girl” so it was ok to take a jab at me cuz I am not emotional like “other girls” etc... these things hurt me, very bad, and when you go from presenting as gender nonconforming to showing somewhat conforming,it’s not easy even if it’s something you genuinely want(I still like gender neutral or tom boyish style but like to wear high femme when I feel like it now)because now to them you’re a weirdo trying to fit in or the boyish girl trying to do something not meant for her(very similar to how they don’t want boys to do”girly”things). I see the kind of narrative of tomboys being forced to feminize(which is also important) being represented but not any of this.I was also being forced to feminize when I was a tomboy,but laughed at when I tried to on my own terms,andI think it is also important,because it’s not that they don’t like you being femme, it’s they don’t like you being anything other than your image,or conventional.it’s the control, the binary even in the gender expression they want to maintain.So media, plz we like your femme sparkly girl is also smart and takes no bs,now give us strong independent suit wearing girl who likes disney and occasionally dress up for herself not as a joke

Anyways, this led to me dressing up really fucking extra(like goth and lolita) to fuck w all of them and release all my repressed self expression

[thetomorrowshow]

Faith In ‘Okay’

This was my Secret Santa gift for @sandersarefamily ! I had a lot of fun creating for you--sorry it turned out angstier than I intended. I hope you enjoyed it! 

Summary: Logan Sanders is blind, and does not need a service dog. His brother, Roman, convinces him to at least try it--and who knows? maybe Logan will find everything he ever needed.

Rating: G

Word count: 4351

Pairings: Logicality, Prinxiety

Tw: Blind character, anxiety attack, kissing, mention of Remus, mention of Deceit

-

Logan didn't need help.

He never had. Yes, being blind was a . . . limitation. Sometimes he saw it as a disability. Sometimes he sat in a stupor, trying to remember what stars looked like before the accident. Sometimes he bit back tears in the middle of a conversation, not willing to break down in front of people just because they discussed how best to assist him. Sometimes he yelled at his brother for not leaving him alone.

But Logan was also fine. So when his brother, Roman, suggested a guide dog, he was more than a little irritated.

“You keep talking about wanting to be independent!” Roman argued. “Maybe, if you had a guide dog, I could move out!”

That was the argument that kept coming back. That was what Roman wanted. He was tired of always having to help his disabled— limited— brother, and it was showing. Logan knew Roman wanted to attend a school out of state. He knew that Roman desperately wanted to act, to try out for shows, but never had time.

That was probably why Logan agreed to look into the idea.

It took two weeks for the online application to be approved, then another two to get the phone consultation done. The additional forms to complete hadn't taken too long, but it was another three weeks before anyone could come to complete the home evaluation—see if Logan was physically able to have a guide dog, see if his home was safe for one, etc. It all happened, though, and soon they received the approval notification letting them know they had found two dogs that might match with Logan and that they were ready for him to come stay at campus for the two weeks it took to go over the training course.

The day came to leave. Logan was still unsure about this, but Roman insisted it was too late to back out now—then they would've wasted not just their own time, but countless people's time. So Logan begrudgingly followed Roman to the car. He knew the way down the driveway, but Roman had been struck by some protective urge and not only taken his suitcase from him, but had insisted on making him use his white cane. Ridiculous.

Logan settled in to the familiar worn leather of the passenger seat and felt the warmth of the morning sun on his face. It was pleasant. He could almost pretend that they were going to visit friends, or going out to eat.

Then he felt an arm reaching over his chest, and he slapped Roman away. “I can buckle my own seatbelt,” Logan snapped, but didn't move to pull it around his waist.

“Well, you weren't doing it.”

Grumbling, Logan buckled the seatbelt. On the drive he tried to ignore Roman's incessant noise, show tunes and Disney songs alike blaring from the radio. If his brother didn't insist on singing along, it wouldn't be so bad.

Instead, he tried to clear his mind. Long division generally did the trick, but it wouldn't on this day. He tried some basic trigonometry, but just couldn't focus.

His head kept circling back to the dog. What would it sound like? How big would it be? Would it truly allow him to live alone? He lived within walking distance of both the university he attended and the grocery store, and could technically get to both places without physical help—a GPS speaking into his ear didn't count—but rarely did. His school, CSU, helped him immensely with classes and getting to different areas of the campus. Roman drove him to school every morning and to and from the grocery store.

Deep within, he knew that Roman would never move out. Logan was notoriously bad with money—why did all the bills have to feel the same? Folding them differently could only do so much—and, with how often the store was rearranged, he could never reliably find what he was looking for. The few times he had gone by himself, he'd ended up having to ask for help to identify which can was cream of mushroom soup, which milk was 2%, which carton of strawberries looked the best, if what he was holding was hot pockets or a microwave dinner—and all with a clerk guiding him the sections.

A seeing eye dog couldn't help with those things. Only Roman knew what he—they—needed.

-

“It's good to meet you! Glad you're able to stay with us for the next few weeks. Would I be correct in assuming that you're Logan?”

Logan shook the stranger's hand. “That is my name,” he confirmed.

“I'm Patton Hoyt, and I'll be introducing you to the two dogs we've matched with you! Would you like me to guide you by your arm, or just speak directions?”

Logan's eyebrows rose. That was a first. Generally people did one or the other (usually the first) without asking his preference. Of course, Patton was likely trained to ask. “Spoken directions, please,” he replied.”

Roman still guided him with a hand on his back.

-

“This is Layla, she's a lab retriever. . . .”

-

Layla was fine, Logan supposed. She seemed to know her stuff. She just . . . didn't seem to like Roman. That would be a problem, seeing as how Roman wasn't going to be moving out anytime soon.

“Do you want to meet the other dog? If Layla doesn't feel right, I can be back in fifteen minutes with Crofters.”

“Like the jam?” Logan asked, smiling despite himself. “I had some on toast this morning.”

Patton giggled, somehow small and loud at the same time. “Probably,” he said, a grin in his voice. “Would you like to meet him?”

“Why not?” Logan found himself responding. He didn't really want a service dog, he reminded himself. It would be just perfect for Layla to not work out, so they could go home and forget about this whole thing. Roman was the one who wanted the dog.

He was only agreeing, he realized, because he was afraid of hurting Patton Hoyt's feelings. Logan had never really had much regard for others' feelings, but he liked this Patton. He was kind and considerate and funny. His voice held a bright quality, a constant warmth. Logan didn't want to let Patton down.

Not that Patton would be let down. It was his job to be kind. At the end of the day, he would still get paid. Somehow, though, he got Logan to agree to meeting this dog.

-

Logan knew immediately that Crofters was the one. Instead of licking his hand, or barking at Roman, or ignoring them both completely, Crofters bumped his head gently against Logan's right knee then backed up a step.

“Aww! He nuzzled his noggin! Crofters is usually a bit shy!”

Logan grinned. He still didn't really want a service dog, but he thought maybe he could like this dog. Patton told him about how excited Crofters was, how well he'd done on all his tests, and how much Crofters had enjoyed a sweet potato that had been left out from an employee's lunch. Patton talked a lot, and didn't seem to mind when Logan interrupted to provide random bits of knowledge, or review some of his basic needs in his routine.

Logan was growing . . . attached, he supposed. He begrudgingly admitted that he had been looking forward to the idea of having a dog. Now, he didn't know if he was attached to Patton, or to the idea of having a dog. He supposed he'd find out.

-

Now he knew. He began to know when Patton timidly asked if Crofters was right, and if he wasn't, they could go through the application process again and ask for a different dog. Logan cut Patton off and agreed to begin working with Crofters, because yes, he would love to adopt the golden retriever, and yes, he would be willing to stay on campus for the duration of the two weeks of training. Now, as he patted Crofters's head while Patton explained (even though he'd said the same thing every day for the past week at training) the schedule for the day, he knew.

Logan was certainly very open to the idea of having a seeing eye dog.

He was also experiencing a crush on Patton Hoyt.

-

“I'm just rambling now, aren't I?”

Logan smiled. “Possibly,” he allowed. “However, your rambling is . . . pleasing to listen to.”

Patton laughed. It was almost drowned out by the noise of the buffet.

Six weeks had passed since training ended. Patton had scheduled one meeting (ahem, date, ahem) a week, so they could go over any problems Logan might be experiencing or any questions he had. At least, that was the purpose of the meetings.

“Do you want anything else to eat?”

“No, no,” Logan waved him off. “Whatever the fried item you got me was may be a cause for gastrointestinal surgery.”

Patton giggled again. “It was okra,” he said. “Is Roman picking you up, or do you and Crofters want me to drop you off somewhere?”

“Patton, I believe we should stop, to use a figurative statement, beating around the bush.”

Silence from Patton. Logan heard a rustle and caught a whiff of perfume as someone passed by. A child screeched over the beastly rumble of chatter. Logan took a deep breath. This was going to be hard to bring up, so he worded it in the most detached way possible.

“I have developed feelings of romantic attraction for you.” Wow, that was blunt. Not for the first time in that day alone, Logan wished he could see. Patton's silence didn't tell him if he'd reacted positively or negatively.

“If this makes you uncomfortable, I promise to never bring it up again.”

Silence. Again, Logan spoke, panicking now.

“I apologize for mentioning it. If you would drop me off at the CSU campus, that would be wonderful.”

Finally, Patton spoke, his voice low and sing-songy. “Two bros, chilling in a buffet. Five feet apart 'cuz they're so gay.”

“What?” What was Patton talking about? His verbal cues were giving him nothing—but he liked the sound of 'gay'. That seemed hopeful, didn't it?

“Logan, we haven't said a single word about Crofters all lunch. I was so flustered about trying to get you to like me, I wore a tie.” Patton's voice was shaking. Tears or laughter? Logan wondered frantically. “Logan, you can't see! How were you supposed to notice a tie?”

Then Logan was laughing, and Patton was laughing, an adorable little giggle accompanied by the occasional snort. Their hands ended up clasped over the table, and Logan, almost subconsciously, leaned over the table, somehow knowing that Patton was doing the same thing. Their laughter died down. Logan felt his forehead bump lightly against Patton's, his skin burning at the sudden impact, and he knew he was close enough.

“People are staring,” Patton whispered. Logan shrugged.

“I'm told people stare at me a lot,” he said. “I assume it's usually because I'm staring at them and don't realize.”

“And your dashing good looks,” said Patton playfully. Logan's cheeks burned—he hadn't expected this to happen. He liked where it was going, but what if Patton thought they were moving too fast? Just minutes ago, they'd been colleagues. Now they were . . . romantic interests? It happened so quickly, one could've blinked and missed it. That was surely too fast. Not to mention, Logan had a plethora of special needs. He didn't want to dump them all on someone so—so wonderful!

“Patton,” Logan said before anything could happen, “I've already confessed my attraction. But is it wise to continue? I-I am blind, after all.” The lame excuse fell flat on his ears. Patton seemed to find it a poor reason as well, as he squeezed Logan's hands and whispered a question.

“Would you like me to guide you to my lips, or just speak directions?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman wasn't upset. He truly wasn't! He was incredibly excited that Logan had a boyfriend. He'd already planned three perfect dates for them, including one that would be enjoyable for Crofters. He'd suggested a road trip to visit family, he was so certain their aunt would love Patton. Just the other day, he'd caught himself daydreaming about what songs would be best for their wedding dance. What could he say? He was an imaginative guy.

No, Roman definitely wasn't upset. But he was worried. He worried that Patton would never figure out exactly how to toast Logan's toast. He worried that Patton would always forget to set up the table correctly. What went where in the fridge. Where to find the type of clothes Logan liked to wear. When to let him walk to school and when to drive him. But most of all, Roman worried that Patton would get tired. Tired of all of Logan's needs and routines. Tired of holding Logan's hand when they crossed the road. Tired of having to shop for him. Tired of not being able to do normal things with him.

He was worried that Patton would abandon his brother, breaking Logan's heart in the process.

So who could blame him for growing more protective?

It all came to a head one day.

“Get in the car, I'll grab your cane. Crofters! Here, boy!” Roman called. Logan had just seen fit to inform him that he had an interview that day. He was certain that Logan would be a wonderful teacher's pet—aide for CSU, where he attended classes, but . . . Roman was going to miss an audition if he took Logan. He'd been really excited about it, too. He was auditioning to play Feste in Shakespeare's Twelfth Night , but . . . he found himself doing the math in his head. The drive to CSU was fifteen minutes counting traffic lights, then the interview would likely be longer. Then a good brother would take Logan out to eat, regardless of the results of the interview. The audition was half an hour away, just in the other direction. He couldn't make both. Logan's needs and wants came before his. He knew that.

Needless to say, Roman was very surprised when Logan didn't move. “Come on!” Roman urged. “We don't want to be late.”

“Patton has agreed to provide transportation to the interview. If he doesn't show up, we live within walking distance of the school,” Logan added, forestalling Roman's next argument.

Roman didn't really know what to do with himself. Patton picked up Logan and Crofters. Roman tried to watch TV. He tried to rehearse his monologue. Eventually he left, arriving early at the audition.

It went fine, as far as he could remember. Nothing like the auditions from his high school days, but probably okay. He couldn't stop thinking about Logan—was he safe? Would he get lost? Taken advantage of? Who would comfort him if he failed the interview?

Roman left the theater and drove. He didn't know where he was headed. He drove until he arrived at the mall.

Roman had often had fun at the mall—he and his twin, Remus, had often come here to mess around. He had dozens of pictures of Remus running through the kids' play area, or of he himself posing as a mannequin, dressed in the most uppity clothes they could find. The memories were nice enough to look back on, but they carried a melancholy air. He hadn't seen Remus in four years, since they were eighteen. His twin had moved across the country, scared of the responsibility of their younger brother Logan when their parents had died. Roman had had to grow up fast.

Through the smog of memories, Roman realized he'd wandered into Barnes & Noble, the smell of books reminding him of Logan in a comforting way.

“Welcome to Barnes & Noble. Can I help you find anything?”

Roman spun around. The clerk standing behind him let his bangs fall in front of his face and didn't even try to smile. Roman forgot his woes momentarily as he was struck with a second of gay panic. This clerk was hot . Like, skater gruff mountain man mixed with Tom Holland. An emo baby with scruff. The heir to the evil legacy who loves the good prince. The type of dude on the big poster in the window of the shoe store. His eyes caught the nametag—Virgil. Even his name was hot.

“Thank you, but I think I've just found what I'm looking for,” Roman found himself flirting. The clerk blushed and averted his eyes, muttering a small “whatever” and walking past. Roman turned to watch him go—was he hot from behind?

He didn't get to know, as the clerk turned as well and met his eyes. “Nice hair,” Virgil said, cheeks still red. “Purple. Looks . . . edgy.”

Roman laughed. A little too hard. It made Virgil smile, though, so maybe it was okay.

“My lunch break's in twenty minutes,” Virgil said. “Can I, uh. Can I get you some Panera?”

-

“—and I wasn't entirely certain that I'd done the character justice, you know? I know it was just a cold reading—”

“Dude, Roman. Calm down. I'm sure you did awesome,” laughed Virgil. The two were sitting in a booth at Denny's, hands entwined over the table.

Virgil was being reasonable, but it was so hard to calm down. Roman tried to change his train of thought and ended up thinking about Logan. His brother was representing CSU at a college fair. Roman had argued against it (“I'll have Crofters and Patton, I will be fine. Fracture a femur at the callbacks and enjoy your outing with your boyfriend.”) but had lost. His mind started spiraling again as he wondered: what if Patton forgot about Logan? What if someone dognapped Crofters? What if someone took advantage of his naive, blind, baby brother, who would be standing proudly at his school's table with a smile and a brochure? What if—

“In for four, Ro. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Breathe, and focus on my voice.”

Roman hadn't realized he was panicking outwardly, but he tried to do as Virgil instructed. The breathing didn't feel like it was helping, though, and soon he ignored the rhythm. He kept thinking about all the dangers Logan was in, and wished he could keep Logan in the safety of their routine, where nothing changed and nothing was unknown.

“Tell me five things you can see.”

Roman hadn't noticed that his eyes were closed. He blinked them open to find his vision blurry with tears. “A beautiful man,” he managed, eyes sweeping over his boyfriend then the restaurant. “Uh. The carpet. That painting of the dogs playing poker. That boy's hat. And the hanging light.”

“I love you, you're doing great. Four things you can touch?”

“The booth, your hand. The table. My phone in my pocket.” When had he become so tired?

“Nice,” Virgil said quietly. “Three things you can hear?”

“Your voice. Music, and the news playing on that TV.”

“Almost done, you're doing awesome. Two things you can smell?”

Roman sniffed. That was easy. “Your lasagna, the syrup from my pancakes.”

“And one thing you can taste.”

Roman licked his lips and grinned. “Your lasagna.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, but smiled anyhow. “Feel a bit better?”

Roman nodded. He was still worried, but it was better. The sleepiness that filled his veins made him not want to think about it. He wondered sometimes how Virgil always knew how to calm him down.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Roman took a deep breath, then nodded again.

-

“I have a brother,” Virgil said. They'd finished eating and relocated their conversation to Virgil's pick-up truck. There Roman had spoken his worries, confessed that he couldn't seem to stop being anxious about Logan.

“Not really, I guess. I mean, I think of him as my brother. My parents foster. So he's my foster brother, but that doesn't matter. His name's Dee.” Virgil ran a hand through his hair. He spoke again.

“Dee . . . can't talk. Something happened in his birth home—I dunno if he was born like that, or abuse or what—but it was hard. Hard to not try and take care of him. He's in pain a lot of the time. More often than not, he has to have a feeding tube because swallowing hurts too much.

“It was hard to let him go. Dee's such an individual!” Virgil laughed slightly. “He got into debate when he was thirteen. He's super good at it, too. I just—I couldn't stop worrying. What could someone do to a boy with no voice? A boy who can't say no. A boy who can't yell for help.”

Roman felt a pang of familiarity. He'd had very similar thoughts about Logan.

“When he was sixteen, we got into a fight,” Virgil continued. “He was yelling—I say yelling. His hands were moving angrily—, I was yelling, and he finally snapped. Dee told me I was too protective. He could handle himself. Bunch of other stuff. He ended up telling me that one of us was going to have to move out, and he was fine with it being him.

“I wasn't—he needed help, and our parents could help better than some roommate. So I left. Moved out of state.”

“How?” Roman heard himself whispering. He couldn't imagine ever doing that to Logan.

Virgil shrugged uneasily. “I was pretty mad. I was still anxious, though—for a while I called home every day. Heck, I texted Dee all the time to make sure he was okay. I stopped when he told me to. I got a job, enrolled in a few classes at CSU. It got easier. Dee skypes me on Sundays to ask about my week. It's okay.”

“Logan wouldn't kick me out, though,” Roman said bluntly. “He—”

“Can survive without you.”

“What?”

Virgil smiled and took his hand. “Logan can survive without you,” he repeated. “He has strengths, even if they're different from yours. It's okay to be scared. Scared of someone hurting him. But it sounds like. . . .”

“Yes?”

“It sounds like you're scared of him not needing you.”

Roman felt tears filling his eyes. That—that was it. He hated to admit it, but that was it. “Ay, there's the rub,” he choked out. He collapsed against Virgil's chest, his body shaking with sobs.

“It's okay . . . it's okay,” Virgil murmured.

“I just—I've been there for him since our parents d-died,” Roman sniffled. “My b-brother left us and Lo was so—so lost, and I-I love him so much! I packed his lunch when he was sixteen and drove him to school and got a job and gave up everything! Just to take care of him! He—he's my purpose! He's been my purpose for years! How—how can I just mo-move on?”

“No one expects you to just move on,” Virgil said, tracing small circles on Roman's back. “But I'm here to help you get through this, and so is Logan. It's going to be okay. Depend on us. It's all going to work out. It'll be okay.”

-

“You must be Patton. It's good to meet you,” Virgil said, shaking the bespectacled man's hand. Patton grinned at him, then gently pulled forward the man whose hand he was holding.

“That's me! This is my boyfriend, and his dog, Crofters.”

“Thank you for introducing my dog, Patton,” the man said dryly. Virgil knew his name before he said it. It wasn't just because Logan was attached to Patton, or the fact that his golden retriever was named Crofters, or even the classic sunglasses shielding his eyes. It was the smattering of freckles on his nose. It was the dimple in his right cheek as he smiled fondly in the direction of his boyfriend. It was the slightly round way his voice sounded. There was no doubt that this was Roman's brother.

“I'm Logan. I must presume that you are Virgil?”

Virgil ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. How's the move going?”

Patton grinned. “Really well!” he said excitedly. “I'm definitely picking up on Lo's routines, and Crofters is adjusting too!”

“That's good. Let me know if you need to borrow my truck. Anything for Roman's family.” He tugged awkwardly at his stiff collar. He hated dressing up, but this was for Roman. “Shall we go in, then?”

They walked into the theater, making a chain of sorts: Virgil leading Patton by the hand to the seats he'd already reserved for them, Patton leading Logan by the hand so he didn't run into anyone (something, as Logan pointed out, Crofters could do just fine).

“Do you want to hear Roman's bio?” Patton asked Logan once they were settled in, the program held open in his hands.

“I'm relatively certain I edited it for him, but read on, love,” came Logan's reply.

“'Roman Sanders, Prospero—Roman Sanders is pleased to make his acting debut as Prospero in—'”

The lights flickered. One minute before the show. All around them, people began to sit. Patton closed the program and quietly informed Logan that the show was about to begin.

Then the curtains parted.

Patton watched Logan, hoping he was following the story, and grinned at the look of interest on his boyfriend's face as he settled back into his chair. Everything was okay.

Logan listened closely. He'd heard Roman's lines a million times when his brother rehearsed at home, but this was different. All the characters came together in a complex symphony that made him never want to stop listening. Everything was going okay.

Virgil watched Roman throw his arms dramatically, miming control of a giant storm while Shakespeare sang from his lips. He felt a surge of affection, of love, for the man who had come so far. Everything would be okay.

Roman caught a glimpse of his family in the audience and smiled inwardly. They'd all come, just to see him. Everything was okay. Everything was going okay. Everything would be okay. It was okay to move on.

[pinkykitten]

The Shoulder Touch

Peaky Blinders

Isaiah Jesus x female! reader

Warning: none 

Specifics: romance, comedy, fluff, one-shot, race neutral reader, based on a movie, gifs

People: isaiah jesus, tommy shelby, arthur shelby, michael shelby, john shelby, finn shelby, bar woman (oc)

Words: 2,399

Summary: isaiah jesus meeting you for the first time since you moved to small heath, he does the hey from spider man into the spider verse.

Authors Note: hey...so this is not an au its just like based, gave me inspiration for this fic. this is my first peaky fic so im sorry if i get some things wrong or somethings just sound stupid ur girl far from perfect. isaiah is actually one of my fav characters and miles i love him with all my heart and soul. if u havent watched spider man into the spider verse pls do urself a favor and do that rn. if you want to be tagged or request anything peaky blinders pls do loves. also this was not requested. 

(not my gif! do not own!) 

You were from London. Your whole life was rooted there, family, friends, every thing you’ve ever known. When you became of age to make decisions for yourself you moved to Small Heath. Every one you knew thought of you as crazy, insane to make a move to number one some where you didn’t quite know and number two  (hEhheEHEehEHe im immature) some where unfortunately was more poor than you were accustomed to. You wanted to move there to find your independence. You wanted to find a simple job and live a simple life with just you yourself. All your life you were shielded away from almost everything, just once you wanted to see what the world had to offer. 

But who knew it would be this hard!

“I did not realize it was going to be this bad looking.” You complained to well a goat. You were currently making your way on a boat to Birmingham. Seated with yes some passengers and also some animals you could see the shore nearby. “Well its now or never thats what I always say. Thank you for keeping me company friend.” You stood up and patted your skirt. Anticipation easing within you as you glance at the unknown. 

You got off the boat and set to your new life. Yes there were some characteristics different from London but you learned to look past them. You peered down at the letter your boss had sent you. You were to start work the next day. You were a journalist, writing was your passion and seeing as this area was not so big as London than maybe you could gain popularity here. 

“Its a good dream to have y/n,” you said to yourself as you headed to your apartment. 

The whole day was about putting your little items you had and sticking them into your small apartment. Then since you needed food to you know live you set on going to the market not far from your living space. The day was set then with buying new outfits for your job. You did want to look spiffy! (girl thats me i wanna be spiffy naw no sticky cuz im thicccc like skippy) 

Towards the end of the day you already had your dinner and decided since it was your first night here to have some fun. You made you way to a pub nearby called The Garrison. As you made your way inside you saw the majority of the people in there were...bad. You were not used to seeing these types of people. Deciding to just try to enjoy your time here you make you way to the bar. 

You scanned around as you sat on a stool. Every one was mingling and you were the only odd ball. You crossed your legs all primp and proper and awaited service. A unknown woman came beside you to order her drink, “whiskey.” You admired how she looked, you could tell she knew her stuff. She seemed from around here. Her dress showed cleavage and as you peered down at your dress you thought that for this setting you needed to be a bit more out there. You examined her outfit and then yours and compared to hers yours looked like a little girls dress. You tried not to make it so obvious that you were copying her. You opened up a few buttons and awaited for her to leave to order. Your accent seemed even different from every one else’s. “Yes can I please have a whiskey as well.” You were clueless! You had never drank in your life so this was new, you just imitated what the other woman did. As you got your drink you took one tiny sip and almost spit it all out. The taste was very strong, you tried not to choke so as not to make a show. As you just endured the time there you could feel eyes behind your back. 

You secretly wanted to see so you tried to look back quickly but you were too quick about it, you didn’t even get a glimpse. You could see from the corner of your eye them still staring. “What in god’s name?” You cursed under your breath as you stumbled off the stool, not knowing it was that high from the ground. Proudly got your drink and strutted to the group of men looking at you. 

“Is something the matter men? I have seen you all staring at me for the past hour now, care to explain?” You sassed to the group of (delicious sexy men called the peaking puffin blinders DUHHHH) men that wore nice suits. There were a couple of them, some of them wearing the flat caps. There was a man with a neat hairstyle and a mustache, another man with his cap crooked eyeing you up and down like you were the prey. Another man with the lightest blue eyes you had ever seen, a young one with broccoli looking hairstyle (im srry finn’s hair looks so stupid!), another young one that was handsome, and another young one but he looked the most different from every one. He was dark skinned, he caught your eye. All the men looked at you sexually but all you could see was the young dark man staring into your eyes. You took a gulp feeling the bashfulness creep up on you.

“Sorry you just seem you’re not from around here,” spoke the man with ice like eyes. 

“Well, you are right about that. I am not. I’m from London...actually.” You tried to sound ferocious but that just made them like you more. 

“Really, London? We just were looking at you because well love you look so alone and a beautiful girl should never be alone. Names John.” He stood up and gave you a hand shake. They all introduced themselves except the one man you actually wanted to get to know. 

“My name is y/n. Hey you, you didn’t say your name. Whats your name?” You smiled at him. You could tell that he was getting nervous and a bit bashful as well. He gulped and Michael had to nudge him to get him out of his trance with you. “Right well um, my names Isaiah.”

“Oooh Isaiah, what a beautiful name.” Isaiah thought his name sounded way more beautiful when you said it. 

They all could feel the tension and the atmosphere of you two. Arthur coughed in order to break the awkwardness. 

“May I sit?” You found the courage to ask as you stood there holding your drink. John and Arthur were about to go against you but Tommy and Isaiah both in unison stood up for you and said yes. “Why thank you.”

“So y/n, what do you do?” The raspy voice of Tommy came out. 

“I’m a journalist. I love writing about the news and really I do enjoy just writing. It is my passion.” You took a sip of your drink and almost made a face of disgust. (omg i think i made that face now lol i just put in a jolly rancher but the apple one) “Wow this is strong indeed. How can you all drink that?” You cough into your hand and Arthur and John pat your back to steady yourself. 

“You’re drinking the wrong thing love,” Tommy says as he hands you a glass of what their drinking. 

“Right.” You brace yourself and take a huge gulp of the drink. You start coughing again and you can see that Isaiah is worried about you. 

“Too strong for ya,” John laughs with the others. 

“Nope, its truly delicious.” You hide yourself under the table for a second and try not to barf, “that was truly disgusting.” You whisper only to yourself. 

Isaiah appears, his head under the table, “you good love?”

“Am I good, well that drink was surely not but I think I can manage. Thanks.” As you lift your head up you’re greeted with his face close to yours. “Oh hello there, Isaiah.”

Michael then went under, “um what are you all doing down here? Are we having a party?” You chuckled and got back up from under the table. 

After having time to talk to the men and having a good chat you stand up and stretch, “well I think this is where I should part, it was lovely meeting you men and thank you for the drink.” You put money on the table but Isaiah puts his hand out to stop you, “no need. It was on us.”

You grinned at Isaiah and made you way to the exit but as you walked outside you heard the pounding of foot steps behind you. “Wait y/n!”

You turn around to bump into Isaiah, “whoops, yes?”

Isaiah was out of breath but he stood up straight and looked around shyly. “I was wondering, would you like to meet me here tomorrow? Just me and you, no one else?” 

“Just you and me?” You pretended to give it some thought, “of course.” 

Isaiah gave you a lovesick grin but then shook it off and pretended to be this tough guy, “alright, see you then.” 

You walked out of plain sight and Michael came out, “look at you, you really like her a lot don’t you?”

Finn stepped out to greet Isaiah, “look at him. He’s already in love.” They both made fun of him and Isaiah shook his head, “you bastar*s.”

Isaiah’s P.O.V.

The date was tomorrow and Isaiah felt clueless about what to do with you. He was nervous. 

“I don’t know there’s just something about this girl Michael. She’s different and I really like her.” Isaiah explained to him while him and Michael and Finn sat in the Shelby Parlour. 

“I’ve never seen you this nervous for anything,” Finn raised his brow. 

“Look I know you’re shy, I sometimes get like that with me girls but you need to only know one thing in this life,” Michael instructed him, placing his hand on Isaiah’s shoulder. 

“I’m all ears.”

Michael chuckled, “do you know about the shoulder touch?”

“What? I mean of course I do, but um explain it to me again. I must of forgotten.”

“Right. When you see y/n tomorrow you waltz to her and with a dashing smile you put your hand on her shoulder and give her a sexual face saying, hey.” Michael did that to Isaiah and it took everything of Isaiah to not laugh at his friends face.

“Are you sure about this?”

“My friend its biology. Every girl, including y/n you do that to will fall at your feet.”

“So like this, I just go to y/n and say...hey.”

Michael shook his head, “no its like this...hey.” His voice became deeper. 

“Heyyy,” Isaiah’s turned his voice deeper imitating Michael. 

“No, hey,” Michael did it again, smooth. 

“He-ey,” Isaiah’s voice cracked as he tried to be as charming as Michael. 

(not my gif! do not own!)

“You’re ridiculous mate,” they all have a good laugh about it. “But you can do this, even though you’re a little rusty in some areas we believe in you.”

Finn gave Isaiah a freckled smile and nodded.

“Then I’m ready.”

End of Isaiah P.O.V.

As you entered the pub your eyes searched for the handsome face of Isaiah. You subconsciously pull your dress down and swash away any imaginary lint. Biting your lips in nervousness you spot Isaiah. Feeling all giddy you motion to him with a skip to your step, your giggle like music to his ears. You wave to him with a, “hello there.”

Isaiah sees you and with a shy grin he hands you some flowers, “these are for you.”

As you grab the bouquet your hand lightly touches Isaiah’s hand. He coughs awkwardly and you gasp in awe at the beauty he has given you, “my word Isaiah these are extremely beautiful.”

“Yeah, I got them because they remind me of you.”

You knit your brows and give a oblivious look, “oh, in what way?”

Isaiah gulped, “they are beautiful just like you.”

You laughed at his cheesy pick up lines, “Isaiah you flatter me too much, but I should say the same about you.” You come in contact with him and get as close as possible. “You handsome man.” With a leap of faith (YASSSS SPIDEY REFERENCE FOR DAYS LOSERS ITS ALL JUST A LEAP OF FAITH PEEPS) you placed your delicate hands on his chest, the fabric of his suit and his body making your cold hands warm. 

Isaiah was having a nervous break down. He was trying to find what to do next with you. “The shoulder touch!!!” He thought as he pushed you back. 

“Umm?” Was all you could mutter when he awkwardly, but you can tell he was trying to be smooth, placed his hand on your shoulder, “hey.” His voice deepened.

You sucked in your lips and tried to understand his motive, “um...hi?”

The breath that Isaiah was holding finally came out and he look defeated, “I’m sorry love. I’m trying to be this tough man but truly I’m not when I’m with you I get nervous and shy like a little school boy. Look what you did to me y/n.”

You made an evil grin and pushed Isaiah on the booth. Cautiously, you sat on his lap, the end of your dress pooling around his thighs. “So I make you nervous?”

Isaiah looked like he was well lets just say bust a nut. His heart was hammering so hard and fast, with a quick nod you got your answer.

You crossed your arms, “you’re so cute! You make me nervous and shy as well Isaiah Jesus (take the wheel) that makes me feel that you actually care.”

Isaiah sat up straighter, holding your waist against him so you wouldn’t fall. He placed your hand on his chest, “you feel that gorgeous? That’s what you make a man that ain’t scared of nothing do.”

“Funny our hearts match, its like they’re dancing.” You gave a quick peck on Isaiah’s cheek and sat beside him, holding his hand. 

Isaiah felt now more at ease with you, rubbing his calloused hand against yours, “you’re something else y/n.”

You laugh, “you too lad!” You placed your hand on his shoulder, “I just wanted to say though...hey,” you deepened your voice.

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @andreaoreas, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @fangirl-4-life415

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[baenxietydad]

16th Anniversary Of The Best Day Ever || The Baes

Summary: Nemo’s 16th birthday!!!

Dated: October 9th, 2019

@justkeepdancing-nemo​

MARLIN

Best day of the year, best day of the year! October 9th was Mu-yeol’s favorite holiday. Not because of Ecuadorian Independence Day, or Leif Erikson Day, but because it was the 16th Anniversary of the Best Day of His Life. Or, if you want to be boring, Nam-min’s 16th birthday. 

He didn’t care for his own birthday, but his son’s was special. On October 9th, 2003, Nam-min came into the world a little over a month early, giving his parents a scare, but they both immediately adored him. He was the child they tried for three years just to conceive, and from his first breath was their entire world. Now with just himself, Mu-yeol had to love him enough for two people. 

And he did. He sometimes got all choked up just thinking about how much he loved his son and how wonderful and beautiful his baby boy had become. 

He loved him so damn much. That’s why he treated his birthday like a national holiday. 

Like every year he got up early to make seaweed soup and to place his presents on the table. Once that was ready, he crept into Nemo’s room and slipped under his covers for the yearly birthday waking up ritual. 

“Nam-min ah. Nam-miiiin, wake up,” he said gently as he pulled Nemo in for snuggles. He played with his hair as he kept coaxing him awake. “Wake up, you know what day it is. It’s the best day! It’s your birthday! My baby is sixteen already.”

“Wake up,” Mu-yeol said, kissing his forehead and snuggling him closer. “So I can annoy you with my love.”

NEMO: 

Nemo had always loved his birthday. A whole day dedicated to him? Who wouldn’t love that? But he loved it not so much because he got presents, or because of yummy seaweed soup, or the nut-cake, or the fact he got to decide everything that happened on his birthday--

He loved it cuz Appa loved it. He loved it cuz Appa was always in such a good mood. No nightmares, no grouchiness, no extra paranoia. Just him, just Appa. 

And this year, his birthday meant the end of Nemo’s grounding. So it was the best day ever.

Despite that, Nemo was solid as a rock in bed that morning, his covers pulled over his head. It’d started gettin’ chilly like it always did, and a little chill always made it harder to get up in the mornings, even for someone like Nemo who was gogogo. His toes curled under his blankets and he fisted the blanket too, holding it tighter at the creaking of his door. Oooo, there’s Appa, he thought to himself, barely stifling a smile, as he pretended to still be sleeping deeply.

Part of that was cuz….well-- no sixteen-year-old should want cuddles from his Appa.

But Nemo still did. 

So he pretended. And when Appa dragged him close, he played at a groan and wiggled half-heartedly. “Appaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” he groaned with sleepiness. “Wahhhhh, gerroff!” he wiggled more.

MARLIN

“Nope, not allowed. It’s the sixteenth anniversary of the best day of my life, so that’s forbidden.” Mu-yeol said to letting go of Nemo. 

He carded his fingers through Nemo’s hair and smiled down at him all gross and affectionate as Nemo refused to open his eyes. Rude— how are they going to celebrate his birthday if he’s asleep? Ah, kids. Occasionally he’d press another soft kiss to the top of his head. 

“Do you want to skip school for your birthday?” He asked quietly as he continued to play with Nemo’s hair. “Or do you want to be stuck hanging out with your dumb embarrassing dad one of your weekend days instead?”

Playfully, he poked Nemo’s side where he was ticklish. 

NEMO: 

Skip school? He could do that?!

Nemo’s eyes finally opened, blinking all the tired outta them as he looked up at his dad incredulously, like he was waitin’ for him to change his mind. Plus, didn’t his Appa have to work? It was Grow-day, not to mention still a couple of days before the Full Moon Dance, which meant the Hollow fluttered, flittered, twittered, and buzzed with all sorts of activity. Though Nemo didn’t have talent class this week cuz all the fast-flying talents were getting ready for the Windy Day Race on October 13. 

So… he didn’t have talent class. And he didn’t have dance on Wednesdays either…

Unless!

“Wh-- this isn’t a test, is it?” he squinted at his Appa suspiciously. “I can actually skip school if I want?”

MARLIN

“아니 (ani). I wouldn’t set a trap. Mm, not on your birthday anyway. 그냥 (keunyang)...I just wanted to hangout with you on your birthday like we always do. And since you’re in school now that would take up your entire day.” And anyway, Mu-yeol knew he wouldn’t be in this good of a mood come the weekend. It was Nemo’s birthday not his birthweek that always (almost) restores him to him old self. 

He smiled down at Nemo in his arms as he narrowed his eyes at him. “You can skip school. Only when I offer it though; if I get a call you’re absent without my permission you’re gonna die.”

Mu-yeol punctuated the death threat with his warmest smile. 

“Aigoo, my baby’s growing up. You won’t need me anymore pretty soon.”

 It was a bittersweet thought. Nam-min not needing him anymore meant he wouldn’t have anything left to silence the worst thoughts in the back of his brain; live to take care of Nam-min didn’t apply once his baby boy became an adult, and it was the only thing keeping him breathing most days. It was the only thing that was enough and that terrified him. 

Most days, anyway, it terrified him. But on October 9th, nothing ever mattered but the fact that X number of years ago, his son was born on that day, and it was the one truly good day of the year. 

“You were so small.” He sighed, patting the space between his shoulder blades. “You came earlier than we thought, you dramatic jerk.”

NEMO: 

Wow, he really was gonna get to miss school. 

Which meant-- his friends.

Nemo hadn’t expected the sharp, quick stab of yearning, nor what followed after: guilt. Cuz he obviously couldn’t tell Appa that maybe he did wanna go to school after all. First of all, that was stupid. What kid wanted to go to school on his birthday? Sure, he’d get to see his mates and they’d all tell him happy birthday, but he’d only get a couple of minutes before class, and then lunch, and then that was really all…and in between, he’d sit through awful French and confusing History and didn’t he have a quiz in English which he didn’t study for? 

And wasn’t his birthday kinda his and Appa’s...thing? 

Yeah.

Nemo swallowed down that feeling then, cuz goin’ to school just wasn’t a real option, and did what he did every year as Marlin started in on his tirade. He grooooooooaned and wiggled some more, finally pushing Marlin off and sitting up. “Heeeeere we go again, next you’ll tell me about Eomma counting all my fingers and toes and fighting the healing-talents to hold me just five more minutes--” and though he was acting annoyed at the Same Old Story, the one Marlin told Every Single Year, he was grinning. 

Cuz he liked it. He wanted to hear it. 

MARLIN

“And if I do?” Mu-yeol challenged, reaching up to poke Nemo’s forehead. 

He hummed and sat up next to Nemo, wincing as sunlight got him right in the eyeballs. “She punched one of them, you know. Your mother was scary and always ready to...throw hands? Is that what it is? Especially when it was about you.”

He didn’t tell him how she had to take an exam at university the day after giving birth— and yes, she did go and ace that exam, and when her professor found out he scolded Mu-yeol for ‘letting your wife do that.’ But So-yeon did whatever the hell So-yeon wanted to do, Always. There was no allowing, forbidding, or talking her out of anything. She was determined to finish her masters’ on time to shut up all of the men in the program who talked about how STEM was no place for a wife and mother and said she should drop out and raise her child. 

Not for the first time, he wanted to tell him. 

“She always said having you was the best decision we ever made.” He said instead. “So the verdict on skipping school? If you really want to go we can do your birthday on Sunday.”

He hopped out of Nemo’s bed. “There’s seaweed soup ready, with pickled shriiiimps.”

NEMO: 

He only really had a couple of birthdays left before he really would be too old to celebrate with Appa and let him baby Nemo like this. This could even be the last one. Nemo would be well into his apprenticeship when next October swung around, after all. Who knew what his life was gonna be like then? What he’d be training in, what kinda time he’d have? 

Maybe he was already too old for this stuff now but… 

He wanted at least one more. 

So Nemo grinned. “Skipping, definitely!” he rolled out of bed too and then scampered past Appa. “SEAWEED SOOOOOOUP!” He called, giggling. 

MARLIN 

He felt tension he didn’t even know he was holding in his shoulders ease. What a relief it was that his baby hadn’t outgrown him just yet! Even if Nam-min was away from him more this year, he still wanted to hangout with his dad. That was enough. 

“Eat as much as you want,” Mu-yeol said as a laddled out a bowl for Nemo. “You have to eat a lot if you hope to grow any taller.”

NEMO:  Nemo plopped down in his chair, drawing up both his legs so he was criss-cross, then reached for his spoon. Course before he even got a spoonful, he shot a look at Appa, sour as elderberries. Because yeah, Nemo was small-- even for a pixie he was small, and especially for a fast-flying talent. Fast-flyers were usually some of the taller talents around actually, cept for maybe scout talents. Nemo was small the way a pollen-talent fairy was normally small-- or a bee-herding-talent was small. 

“Aish,” he sucked his teeth at his Appa and shook his head. “I’m not that small! I mean, I got long legs y’know,” he added hotly. And that was true. Nemo was nearly all legs, which helped with his lines in dance. (It didn’t do much for fast-flying though.) 

He scooped some soup into his mouth, and then grabbed the bowl and lifted the whole thing to his lips. “Here, I’ll eat the whole thing, so you can’t have any!” 

And he slurped half his bowl down to prove it. 

MARLIN

Mu-yeol playfully stuck his tongue out at Nam-min as he slid him a cup of elderflower juice. “It's not your fault, your mother’s human-size height was only 162 cm. She was the tiniest fast-flying fairy in both Hollows we’d lived in. Blame her for those genes.”

He barely stifled a snort as Nemo slurped his soup up like it was room temperature water and not hot soup.

“알았어, 알았어 (arasseo, arasseo). Go ahead, eo? I’m full watching you eat anyway.” He said, though he quickly ate a few spoonfuls himself in case Nemo swiped his bowl. Because he would. 

“What’s on the birthday festivities agenda?” Mu-yeol asked, spooning some kimchi onto some rice. “We can do whatever you want except hard drugs. Cocaine might be negotiable-- no, wait. That’s the last thing you need.”

NEMO: 

First, Nemo just gargled through his soup, still slurping it down. It really was kinda too hot to do so, but Nemo had already started so it meant he had to commit to it. And commit he did, until it was all done and he let out an “Ahhhhh,” plopping his bowl down and smirking at Appa. He said he’d do it. And Nemo could never resist a challenge. 

He rolled his eyes next though. “Appa, you’re really not funny,” he told him, shaking his head. Appa and his dad jokes. “Mmmm can we…. Oooooh, Appa, can we go dragonfly racing? Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeease, it’s my birthday! I’m 16, that’s plenty old enough!”  

Dragonfly racing was, of course, when fairies skittered across the Kohaku River on the back of dragonflies. Appa always forbid Nemo because dragonflies could be a bit, er, moody-- prone to 360-degree spins, or dipping real close to the water. He’d always been terrified Nemo would fall off and drown. 

Why was Nemo even asking? Well! He asked at least once a year, and a 16th birthday felt like a good time when Appa might not be able to say no. 

“We can go toooogetheer,” Nemo sing-songed. 

MARLIN

“Watch your mouth before I glue it shut, you little brat,” Mu-yeol said in response to being told he wasn’t a comedic genius, of course while pinching Nemo’s cheek while calling him a little brat. “What’s the number one lesson of life? Always laugh when your dad, your employer, or father-in-law makes a joke.”

Another spoonful of soup had almost made it to his mouth when Nemo made his birthday proposal, and the spoon fell from his hand, landing in the bowl with a plonk! Dragonfly racing!? Let him repeat, DRAGONFLY RACING!?!?

Was he trying to make sure this was his last birthday?

Mu-yeol clasped his hands in his lap to keep from wildly gesturing. In the spirit of Nemo’s birthday, he wasn’t going to give an immediate hard no. Today, and today only, he would hear him out about dragonfly racing. Maybe even say yes, and deal with the panic in his chest the entire time.

He taught Nemo to swim in Atlantis Lake in human size, without wings that couldn’t get wet, of course. Logically he knew that Nemo could probably tread water with wet wings long enough to drift toward an aquatic plant to hold onto until he could be pulled out of the river by a fairy with dry wings. It was still risky.

And yet, at Nemo’s age, Mu-yeol had been dragonfly racing for years. His dongsaeng-dul* would compete with him and the other fairies their age for prizes of anything from found objects teenage fairies used for bartering, to ₩5,000 notes the kids whose parents had human jobs would throw in the prize pot.

*reader’s note: dongsaeng = younger sibling; -dul is a particle to add to make any noun plural 

His last two logical brain cells reminded him that he was much more stupid than Nemo at his age, and that he survived. His father wasn’t half as protective as he was, so of course Nemo would be fine.

The other hundred billion weren’t half as reasonable.

“Nam-min…” before he could say no though, he cleared his throat to stop himself. He was gonna give him a chance, remember? “Only if you can tell me the procedure for if you fall off. Repeat it to me three times, then we will seriously consider it.”

NEMO: 

Appa didn’t say no right away. Whoa.

This was already a win. It was also not completely expected, and so Nemo found himself wide-eyed and leaning forward. “Really?” he responded at first. He had to absorb that Appa hadn’t immediately laughed off the idea like he had done all of Nemo’s life, before patting Nemo on the head and saying something about how hilarious Nemo was with that persistent death wish of his! And did he want to give his dear old Appa a heart attack?!

Maybe sixteen really did make the difference.

Maybe sixteen was going to be his year, after all. 

Nemo swallowed and leaned back, adjusting in his seat and then crackling his knuckles as he prepared to answer Appa’s test. He was pretty sure he knew about the procedures...even if he’d never really gotten to try them out. All the other fast-flying-talents though talked about dragonfly racing all the time (it’s why he wanted to do it so badly.) 

“Number 1--” he held up a finger, “--don’t panic. Number 2, get your head above water and your feet under you, so your wings don’t drag you down. Number 3, tread water in direction of the current toward the shore! Don’t fight the current, cuz you’ll get too tired too fast.” 

That was right...right? Right! 

MARLIN

Mu-yeol watched Nemo carefully as he ran through the DON'T DROWN protocols. Careful to eye him for any signs of bullshitting or hesitation, and satisfied when he found none that his son actually understood how to not drown, he supposed he now had to actually consider dragonfly racing. 

Maybe if he let Nemo do this once, let him have this one thing, he won’t do things like sneaking out with that awful kid Louie. This is exactly why he didn’t want to send Nemo to school, he knew he’d be too preoccupied with looking cool and being popular to actually care about school. He knew he wouldn’t understand that what mattered was finding your group of friends and being cool to them. It was the same for fairies in school, and fairies like Mu-yeol who didn’t go to school. Why couldn’t Nemo be like his mother was and only care what her friends thought of her?

Nemo was like him. Insecure and soft. 

Maybe dragonfly racing and the panic attack he’d be pushing down the entire time would be worth it. Maybe Nemo would take the victory and be satisfied. 

“Good. So...dragonfly racing. Are you sure there’s...nothing else?”

[biomechanical-magitech]

i do consider myself a writer but i can’t write a multi-chapter fic for shit. so i’m gonna ramble about this ageswap mp100 au instead of writing it out properly

so first: mob’s life without having met reigen. most of the people he meets in the series stems from one key decision he makes in one episode, as well as the existence of claw, which doesn’t exist yet because touichirou doesn’t exist yet

the decision he makes is to join the body improvement club. because of that, the delinquent kid (who’s name i can’t remember) has a member of the club he can use as bait to get both teru and the other club members to fight, which leads to teru and mob fighting, which puts mob on claw’s radar, which leads to mob and ritsu getting mixed up and ritsu getting abducted, which leads to him and teru rescuing ritsu and the other awakening lab kids. that’s most of the people he meets in the series. the only other people he meets are through spirits and such (which doesn’t exist), and in claw during the 7th division and world domination arcs (which also doesn’t exist). the only exemptions are his brother, dimple (through the LOL cult thing), and the telepathy club. we’ll get to ritsu later, but first

i’m not 100% sure whether or not dimple totally survives his first meeting with shigeo. he probably does because you can’t get rid of him and also he looked p exorcised in the anime but he came back so :shrug emoji:. he’s probably got to be around for the cleanup arc to go right but who knows. maybe he gets bored of shigeo, since mob probably doesn’t use his psychic powers for anything really. he doesn’t seem like the type to use his powers very much, whether or not reigen told him not to. i also kinda wanna swap dimple into being a kid for reasons i’ll get to later

the telepathy club found mob on their own and really wanted him to join. mob probably definitely didn’t, but i’m gonna be nice to mob and say he got socially pressured into joining. in the episode i’m like 90% sure he got called into work the first time they tried to get him to join and he used that as his excuse, but this time he doesn’t have a job so he can’t use that. whether or not he does, though, mob wouldn’t have joined the body improvement club, because that was the result of some advice he got from a (gross nasty p/do incel) spirit about “living your best life” or whatever and I’m genuinely surprised he managed to take that advice and actually put it to good use instead of going “wow, no, you’re gross” like i would have. not sure whether or not to congratulate him on that

either way though he wouldn’t have joined the body improvement club without experience from spirits and such, and as such he wouldn’t have met teru. actually can i talk about teru for a bit? cuz i’m 90% sure that his whole “shadow leader” thing was just so he could get respect and admiration that he wasn’t getting from his absent parents. without claw, though, his parents wouldn’t have left, so he probably did get some support from them (though likely not much, cuz what kinda shitty parents would leave their kid when they’re being targeted by violent people). either way he probably wouldn’t have turned towards delinquency so quickly and would have probably has a slower time building his ego. without having met mob, tho, teru wouldn’t have had anyone seriously challenge the idea that he is the best, and so his ego would have had plenty of time to balloon to an even bigger size than in canon. more on that later

also quick note: shou probably had the same parents as touichirou, as well as similar potential for greatness and stuff. however, being the rebellious kid he is, never really lived up to the expectations placed on him and probably actually did the whole delinquent thing. more on that later as well

now. what about our boy ritsu? well, his powers developed completely independently of whatever was happening with mob at the time, even if he did happen to go to the awakening lab around that time. however, the confrontation he had with mob was because of plot things relating to things that wouldn’t have happened in this timeline (the delinquents were all looking to beat up white t poison, who wouldn’t have existed if mob never met teru), which means that ritsu’s feelings would have had time to mutate well past mere resentment. which means when he finally confronts mob, well... we’ll get to that later

as for the actual happenings: iirc the only arcs that didn’t occur because of s&s or claw were some of the springtime of youth arc (specifically the telepathy club antics), the LOL cult miniarc thing, the school cleanup arc, the various mini-arcs revolving the psycho helmet cult (excluding the divine tree arc), the other telepathy club miniarc, and the ???% arc

oh btw manga spoilers past this point

i’ve already talked about the first three arcs. the little psycho helmet arcs (aka him running for student council president and the few things that happen with the sports day thing) would either go basically unaltered or not at all. leaning towards the latter because i really don’t like the psycho helmet cult and wish they’d go away. actually they probably would! because they wouldn’t have the funding for it if asagiri didn’t make that donation, and he wouldn’t have if mob hadn’t saved minori from mogami. so the psycho helmet cult is canonically gone. the running for student council thing probably still happens because that happened first but whatever he embarrassed himself and gets bullied by some girls. big deal. no satisfying conclusion but it’s whatever

the other telepathy club arc probably wouldn’t have much happen. tome realizes that she’s wasting her youth in a dumb club and quits, leaving the club president-less and with the student council breathing down their neck to boot. since mob never got the chance to meet the shiratori twins, this is where the arc ends. the telepathy club splits up and the body improvement club finally gets their storage closet

but the ???% arc? oh, the ???% arc goes very, VERY differently

tsubomi announces that she’s leaving. without the support structure that he built over the course of canon, mob doesn’t really have anyone to turn to. his club has disbanded, his brother doesn’t talk to him anymore, and he barely sees the people he would have hung out with outside of club (read: tome) because she’s in cram school. he might not even have dimple, or the experiences that lead him to believe he can actually trust his advice. so he decides to confess to her after school one day, but on the day he does it he works himself up and explodes. 100% anxiety or something of similar ilk. of course, he’s doing this at school, so ritsu decides to confront him about his psychic powers now, of all times. things go pear-shaped, and mob ruins his relationship with his brother, his (already non-existent) chance with tsubomi, and what little reputation he had at school (that is, his lack of one. no reputation is actually better than a shit one imo) all at once. because of that, he makes one serious decision that affects his whole life and his arc in the main ageswap au:

fuck. psychic. powers. he’s gonna live like a normal person