#Someone Specific being my partner

[beepbooping4life]

being a robot with extendable limbs and wanting to cartoonishly wrap my arms around Someone Specific several times

example:

[morninkim]

As a show of good faith toward the remaining Decepticons at the beginning of a new, united Cybertron, newly appointed Senators Bumblebee and Soundwave allowed Shatter and Dropkick to enlist into Autobot City's Defense Team.

These two turned out to be... not the best choices.

The city may have fallen to Insurgent Decepticon occupation had it not been for young recruits Hot Rod and Arcee's accidental interception of Shatter's communication with the fugitive Starscream.

To replace the errant Defense Team members, Springer and Blurr were reassigned from Iacon to Autobot City in their stead.

[thelostgirl21]

Ever since realising that Joey referring to Jaskier as sapiosexually connecting with Radovid was likely 100% intentional, I've literally been losing my shit over the potential implications...

Like... new headcanon!

What if Jaskier has always approached the act of having sex with someone else as a form of performance art, driven by his desire to please his "audience", and making other people passionately respond to what he's doing for them?

Like... what if what normally sexually interests him isn't so much inspired by the other person, but more by the general idea of being wanted, needed, and the anticipation of the positive feedback he might get from sexually interacting with them.

He readily experiences primary aesthetic attraction towards other people, finds them interesting, becomes curious about them, and feels instantly affectionate towards them; but he's not sexually aroused by / attracted to them, per say.

He really wants to make them feel good, and bask in that sense of intimacy, togetherness and praises he receives from being sexually involved with them (yeah, because he's that good at figuring out what pleases them, and offering it to them).

And somehow, audience response/participation tends to really inform how good or "smooth" he is when it comes to his ability to seduce someone, and convince them to become sexually intimate with him in the first place?

For example...

So... what if Jaskier is a bard and an artist through and through? Not just on stage, but in the sheets as well?

Turning sex into poetry and something very deliberate, where it's all about a sense of artistic expression, and a pure melody of various physical sensations and emotions!

Sexually? Jaskier is an artist, a creative, a free thinker... All is fair!

But it's not something that he usually feels any urge or need to engage in based on the way someone else inspires him any sudden desire to have sex with them specifically.

He loves his sexual partners, he's intrigued by them, he wants to connect with them - even if that connection lasts but a night - and sex allows him to do that.

But maybe he has no idea that sex might be experienced differently by others.

Maybe he just thinks they're like really really REALLY expressive and appreciative of the sex itself, or something, whenever he notices how hungrily some of them appear to throw themselves at him, or at each other.

Also, I've somehow always found it a bit weird how Jaskier seems to fully remain clear minded during Yennefer's magical orgy.

Yennefer comments on how Geralt seems to be immune to her spell, as if it's some kind of big deal!

But then, there's Jaskier...

He just waves at them as if he's totally unaffected by everyone else fucking each other around him, and being surrounded by a bunch of naked bodies having sex...

And/or looks like he's not quite comfortable with the way someone's hand is moving closer to his crotch at some point...

Grant it, he's slowly being suffocated to death by a Djinn's magic, and likely has other priorities than sex in mind!

But that's just the thing...

Isn't Yennefer's spell supposed to override people's ability to think rationally or fully understand what's happening? Everyone snaps out of it looking confused, and poor Jaskier just basically passes out, but he's never once looked like he stopped looking at what was happening around him from an outsider's P.O.V.

Whenever the camera cuts to him, he seems to be sharing the same reality as Geralt and Yennefer, not the kind of sexual haze everyone else appears to be happily trapped in.

Would being affected by the Djinn just make him immune to the whole "sex weed magic thingy" as well?

Or would the usual lack of primary sexual attraction towards other people make it a bit harder for Yennefer's spell to take a hold on him?

(Another headcanon theory I came up with - should Jaskier be revealed as being the direct descendant of Fjall and the Lark - would be that, perhaps, the small touch of magic in his blood would be enough to make him more resistant to certain types of spell... On top of being able to eat whatever he comes across without freaking poisoning himself, I swear!)

But yeah, let's just imagine, for a moment, that sapiosexual Jaskier would have no clue (or very little clue) of what it actually feels like to specifically be sexually attracted to someone (rather than the sex itself, and all it may represent to him) in a way where you are viscerally craving that sexual contact with that specific someone, and you feel like you might go crazy if they don't finally have sex with you.

Then, along comes Radovid, that he develops a sapioromantic and sapiosexual attraction for...

And, for a while, Jaskier thinks he's just losing his freaking mind, because there are moments where Radovid is just there, simply being all sensitive and insightful while discussing dwarven politics with Yarpen, for example...

... and poor Jaskier's never been so sexually aroused in his life!!!

But Radovid is not even technically doing anything that's supposed to be "sexually charged"!

He's fully clothed, being all smart and sensitive, talking about a topic of interest to him while having lunch by the side of the road...

...and Jaskier is just there, casually eating next to him while listening to him talk with their friends.

It's 100% casual and totally trivial, day to day stuff... No plan for Jaskier to try and seduce him and have sex there!

So, how come does he suddenly feel the urge to pounce on him and beg Radovid to just take him right here and there, in front of all their friends at camp, and it's taking all the self-control he can humanly muster not to act upon that impulse?!

Instead, Jaskier stands up, awkwardly excuses himself, and decides the best way to manage the situation is to go take a random dip fully clothed in the nearest river.

"Why?", they ask. Because he was getting hot, that's why!

And no, he couldn't just remove his clothes instead! He liked them really baggy an concealing that day, thank you very much!

As a matter of fact, he might decide to just start wearing his shirt over his pants from now on, because he's starting a new fashion trend! No other reason!

Oh...

Oh, no...

NO.

Don't you dare look at me all concerned while trying to read into my behavior, you stupid prince... Wait. Is that a smirk?

You're smirking aren't you?

How do you look like you've figured it out, when I've no fucking clue what's even going on with me?!

Great! And now the river's cool water is not even working anymore!

That's it! I'm never walking out of here again, and I hope you know it's all your fault!

No. No, don't take off your shirt and get into the water with me, that's not...

Oh? Oh! Everyone else is going and leaving us alone? Okay, nevermind! Fuck! Why's it so hard to walk while standing waist deep in water? Surely there must be a way to get to you faster...

And I'm just imagining poor Jaskier trying to ask Yennefer if Radovid might be some kind of sorcerer with latent magical abilities or something... Because, whenever he's around, there are moments where he randomly feels this overwhelming urge to make love to him, even if the context is not appropriate for delivering a sexual performance of any kind!

Like yes, it has happened to him before to have "the muses" whisper in his ear that sex with a certain someone might be good, and he's typically very open to sudden bursts of inspiration and unplanned sexual improvisation!

But that's not the same thing!

It only happens specifically with Radovid - especially when he's saying or doing something really witty, sensitive or insightful - and it's like his whole body suddenly catches fire, gets all tense and trembling with need; and being touched by him and having sex with him feels like finally being able to breathe after someone's forcefully been holding your head under water for a while...

Radovid must be bewitching him, somehow, for sure!

And Yenn is like "You know that what you've just been describing is simply what regular sexual desire feels like for most people, right?"

And Jaskier's just going:

[mad-hunts]

this may be rather unexpected, yes, but i am currently living for a thought i just had this morning - and it is related to the energy that barton brings to his clinic whenever another character's partner is being a jerk and trying to minimize their pain + just starting an argument with them in general. because barton will hit him with this little number right here and it works every time 'hey... sir/ma'am/mix, this office CAN do a lot - but it can't fix your attitude so i'm gonna have to ask you to leave or i'll have you escorted out :D'

[citnamora]

Growing up is realizing you don't hate shipping, you just really wish the execution of it was less amatonormative

[pezpenser205]

the main reason i know im not femme in the slightest is bc i cant comprehend why anyone would Ever want to be feminine. i can understand neutral leaning fem, but the idea that people are born wanting to be feminine is appalling to me personally because femininity always felt like imprisonment and torture. it was and still is a restraint. a training weight i was forced to bear. i cant fully empathize or understand anyone who wants to be more feminine because i have never and will never want to be more feminine out of anything other than pressure or insecurity. im most comfortable being gender neutral, hairy and disgusting in old gym shorts and stained tshirts no matter how much insecurity it causes me. i dont care. im never dressing up all pretty for anyone elses benefit ever again. and i assume this is how people who want to be feminine feel about masculinity to some extent. if thats the case im super glad we could trade because holy moly

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

aroace joy vs aroace loneliness fight

[thatgirlwhokeepsreading]

The thing the people don’t tell you about re-parenting yourself/similar gambits is that for bitches of a particular temperament (it’s me I’m bitches) it sometimes makes you so so mad when it works. Sold all my baby dolls in a garage sale when I was eight not because I didn’t want to them anymore but because I thought I shouldn’t want them anymore, and now the only thing that had me sleeping like a rock after fortnight of hells is this elaborate LARP so I can convince my central nervous system that there is someone in charge who a) wants to take care of shit and b) can take care of shit.

RSD emotional hangover making you too agitated to sleep even though you’re intellectually aware the conflict is resolved? Not anymore with the power of making dairy-free chocolate milk and listening to ten minutes of Dune on audiobook while reading alongside on your e-reader before you pass the fuck out.

Like you would think cringing into the sun* would keep one even more awake than the vague background radiation of little-T traumas (which has actually reduced after five years of medication and psychology appointments), but I guess it is really about quantity over quality. Guess one big cringe is less impactful than the relief from convincing the quivering little toddler that’s been left in charge of the sleep lever in your brain to come out from under the desk and do their job by putting up a sort of flimsy curtain so they can no longer see the wall of painting symbolising your mild disconcerting experiences

And I reference temperament when I know that my annoyance is in fact also a huge part to do with socialisation, particularly being primed towards abnegation + a fundamental suspicion towards adults engaging with things culturally associated with Children and Childhood, both of which are things I challenge on principle consciously/intellectually. But knowing that it’s completely harmless, and like hey I could be doing meth or something, does not change the fact that when I mimic the running commentary I do with babysitting kids Just In My Head To Myself and immediately become head-nodding sleepy, I’m instantly like “oh we respond to this and not a haunting amount of melatonin? cool. yeah. sure.”

(*Of course none of this is cringe when other people do it, as they are allowed to experience Quirks and Vulnerabilities in peace because they are Not Me. That said, when I’m not venting on tumblr dot org I do generally avoid calling any of this stuff cringe bc I am aware that caveating with “This only applies to me because I’m Not Like Other Girls (I’m Worse)” often doesn’t actually make the other person feel assured you’re not judging them.)

[edge-oftheworld]

going back through some of this fandom's history has made me realise, we really see people as black and white good or bad don't we?

[nobodybetterlookatme]

I've never heard of emts working only at events? What's that like for you if you don't mind my asking?

Yeah, there are ambulance companies that staff certain events, but there's some event specific companies out there lmao. For me specifically, it's almost entirely college events, whether it's happening on a campus or not. It's not great, usually pretty boring, but it's better than being on an ambulance or in a hospital. We do get actual emergencies sometimes, but usually it's just getting drunk people to the tent or giving out water and bandaids lmao. Again, boring as fuck, but I chose this over working on a 911 rig, so that's on me 😔 if I'm being so real tho, other than my coworkers, the best part of the job is the food lmaoooo it's so good and all the food trucks/food booths give discounts or free food to us depending on the location and event. And there's almost always a ton of downtime, so I basically just get paid to sit there and vibe for the most part

[thornsent]

got an email from my long-time therapist (who is. arguably, the only one to of ever actually helped me) explaining she's taking a step back and no longer able to do therapy because of her health

it's fine, I didn't need any consistency in my life when I'm severely burnt out, anyway

[secondpersonpoetry]

you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one! 

oh. oh.

​

[whomstved-yallaintve]

aro, ace, and aroace characters (implied or otherwise) in media be treated as such by the fandom challenge (level: impossible)

[kuromi-hoemie]

you inspire me to have kissy friends i love that but im still fighting being awkward about intimacy 😭💔

for me i understand myself and the way i love p well, and being v simplistic about it the line between platonic and romantic isn't there for me if i think ur cute and cool, i am just getting to know n appreciate u as a person! fundamentally.. which ways our connection blossoms and our dynamics will come about naturally :3 i am p open though!! i am honest and love giving ppl compliments and positive feedback; there r a couple different ways i could go about being more affectionate and intimate with a friend.

one is when u just are getting to know someone as a friend, u can ask about their boundaries and let them know u r affectionate with friends!! if they are too then there u go ♡⁠

the other is becoming closer and comfortable with someone and u feel something shift in ur relationship, and u can tell them u would like to be more affectionate and if they r okay with that ask what they are comfortable with :3

the fun one is recognizing a mutual brain break going on realtime 👁️👁️ if you're not brave enough to say anything in the moment u can always confess later and tell them ur having Thoughts about them and get a feel for how they feel abt you. you can offer them More and it doesn't have to change ur relationship with each other.

the common thread is being communicative and talking about boundaries, and if ur having a hard time w emotional intimacy i think a great place to start is being more open and honest ♡⁠ wear ur heart on ur sleeve. even if u don't feel comfortable or brave enough to tell ur friends u love them, there's nothing stopping you from telling them Why u love them. i love complimenting ppl and thanking them and telling them i had fun, i tell them when they look cute and love their outfits and what i love specifically or I'll hype up ur jewelry or hair change etc; if I'm feeling sentimental about something between us i will tell u how i feel and make sure u know u are appreciated.

i don't give compliments or praise or sentiments expecting anything in return, I'm just communicating my thoughts yk? take it as is and do with it what u will kind of thing, i just like being open!! i am of the opinion that people could stand to hear how great they are more often (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) I'd like 2 think everybody likes feeling Seen, appreciated, understood, praised.

it's a lovely conversation starter but sometimes u just find someone u rly click with and as a dynamic i think practicing openness and honesty with each other on the little things makes room for u to be comfortable communicating bigger more sentimental and intimate things later on if ur friendship is going like that ♡⁠

and with the boy specifically it was a combination of things.. we already had a great friendship and we had gotten a lot closer and more comfortable with each other conversationally, but phew i hadn't seen him in a good couple months i think?? and over that time i became comfortable with myself and Very t4t, and i got a lot hotter too when i went from fem to stem and he hadn't seen me in my masc era yet lol. not in person at least

anyways his birthday was coming up and i wanted to offer him a chain like mine and to make him a collar, and i was gonna go bring him his chain after work as a gift ^.^ ♡⁠ when we finally got to see each other again oh my god lol he was in a sleeveless top w his arms out and For Some Reason i was more attracted to him than i had ever been 💀 i was trying not to stare too hard bc the whole time internally i was like AAAAA HE'S HOT HELP AKSKSKAK, BUT ☝🏾😌 I've had enough mutual brain breaks going on to know when someone's rly feeling me and i could tell lol. i originally just meant to stop by Real Quick but i ended up staying and hanging out for the evening (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) i wasn't brave enough to say anything at first but i could not stop thinking about his shoulders and upper back and neck for like 2 days straight and i had to say Something.

being deliriously horny about him i was like GIRL OMFG DON'T DIE WONDERING TELL HIM SOMETHING and i sent him this 🙈

and he was glad i said something and was straightforward bc he was also having thoughts but wasn't sure if he could/should say anything ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ ♡⁠ so we talked about boundaries and we're still friends like we were but we're affectionate with each other now too and it's a sweet way to deepen our friendship. we r exploring being sweet friends together 👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏾 butch4butch t4t real...

i have a good idea of how i want to navigate polyamory but putting it into practice and loving my friends more intentionally, fundamentally and to the fullest w my current perspective is new for me! and being affectionate in general is new to him, so I'm happy that we can be vulnerable and brave about it together ♡⁠ i can be a lil clumsy and he can be a lil awkward but i think we're very cute 😌🥰 he's a good boy (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠) ♡⁠

this ain't exactly a guide but it's a bit of what i got going on, take what u will from it (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ to be open with ur friends is a beautiful thing and i think things tend to develop naturally. i wish u the best of luck on ur quest w intimacy 🫶🏾

[jedi-bird]

I'm back home, showered and in bed with my heating pad. I did not murder anyone at the event, which is good. We were lied to however, about what was required for us to bring, which I'm not surprised about. I don't want to have to repeat it all tomorrow, even if it's on a smaller scale. I'm tired.

But at least the ham tasted good and the crumble, while much less sweet than last time, was good and I didn't have to stay until super late. Small victories.

[camellia-thea]

initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.