#whatever that post is that’s like
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The thing the people don’t tell you about re-parenting yourself/similar gambits is that for bitches of a particular temperament (it’s me I’m bitches) it sometimes makes you so so mad when it works. Sold all my baby dolls in a garage sale when I was eight not because I didn’t want to them anymore but because I thought I shouldn’t want them anymore, and now the only thing that had me sleeping like a rock after fortnight of hells is this elaborate LARP so I can convince my central nervous system that there is someone in charge who a) wants to take care of shit and b) can take care of shit.
RSD emotional hangover making you too agitated to sleep even though you’re intellectually aware the conflict is resolved? Not anymore with the power of making dairy-free chocolate milk and listening to ten minutes of Dune on audiobook while reading alongside on your e-reader before you pass the fuck out.
Like you would think cringing into the sun* would keep one even more awake than the vague background radiation of little-T traumas (which has actually reduced after five years of medication and psychology appointments), but I guess it is really about quantity over quality. Guess one big cringe is less impactful than the relief from convincing the quivering little toddler that’s been left in charge of the sleep lever in your brain to come out from under the desk and do their job by putting up a sort of flimsy curtain so they can no longer see the wall of painting symbolising your mild disconcerting experiences
And I reference temperament when I know that my annoyance is in fact also a huge part to do with socialisation, particularly being primed towards abnegation + a fundamental suspicion towards adults engaging with things culturally associated with Children and Childhood, both of which are things I challenge on principle consciously/intellectually. But knowing that it’s completely harmless, and like hey I could be doing meth or something, does not change the fact that when I mimic the running commentary I do with babysitting kids Just In My Head To Myself and immediately become head-nodding sleepy, I’m instantly like “oh we respond to this and not a haunting amount of melatonin? cool. yeah. sure.”
(*Of course none of this is cringe when other people do it, as they are allowed to experience Quirks and Vulnerabilities in peace because they are Not Me. That said, when I’m not venting on tumblr dot org I do generally avoid calling any of this stuff cringe bc I am aware that caveating with “This only applies to me because I’m Not Like Other Girls (I’m Worse)” often doesn’t actually make the other person feel assured you’re not judging them.)
#whatever that post is that’s like#having a mother should be in the dsm and also not having a mother should be in the dsm#we’re running out of options here gang!!!#like fundamentally that is my annoyance I think#like I don’t want my mother having been sick/not fully recovered from her own trauma to impact something as ‘mundane’ as sleep#also there’s all the complexities of like I didn’t enjoy being a kid very much the first time around#like I wasn’t physically unsafe and I did have some emotionally safe adults like I can always have been worse#*it can always have been worse wow rip Freud you would have loved my typos#(actually he probably would have loved this whole thing lmao)#but yeah like Being A Kid was the worst part of that era of life if that makes sense#the fact the demonstrated solution is Tactical Childhood LARP is just like booooooooo human body do better#also obviously I worry that this sort of thing would impact my ability for have a partner or kids or w/e#but I also worry about that with everything mental health#I suppose the difference here is my many many thoughts about the infanalisation of women in general#and autistic/nd/disabled women in specific#but like if someone is marrying me - a research academic - thinking they’re getting a demure and malleable small bean#like they’re an idiot that’s on them lol#anyway#delete later#?#we’ll see how I feel#it me
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that article going around abt firefox's new ad program is annoying bc it's phrased as though "mozilla has finally TURNED on its people and is SELLING YOU OUT for cold hard cash!!" when. that's not what's happening. it is specifically being implemented to discourage tracking behavior, and literally all the data they are giving to advertisers is aggregate and anonymized, which is like, the opposite of what that post wants you to worry about, lol
#the nemesis speaks#unfortunately i don't have enough energy to like. campaign about this.#it's actually a really interesting tactic to discourage invasive tracking#basically giving individual advertisers a way to measure '% effectiveness of ad' without individual info getting attached to it#whatever anyway i'm going to bed. do NOT discourse on this post or i will get your ass
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thinking about what mabel and ford have in common <3 sweaters, diaries, and bad breakups.
#of course fords was. like. really bad#but mabel is here to help :)#they had a compromise where they watched space trek decorated the minifigs and mabel did some makeovers <3#gravity falls#stanford pines#mabel pines#comic#billford#implied.#long post#fuck wait i forgot to draw her acne after the first page#whatever uuhhh use ur imagination lol
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meditations on first philosophy (1641) - rene descartes
"who give a shit"
#rene descartes#ok#so this is a reference to that post#bc i cant stop saying it#sorry i havent been active#ive been working on an opera#and have been having like p bad health issues#but its ok#learning to crochet a minecraft frog#idk if itll be like any good#whatever life is love anyway#blackout poem#blackout poetry#author#book#poetry
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The second you start talking about some mysterious "they" that are controlling society in some fashion, you are engaging in dangerous conspiratorial thinking even if you're being woke about it. "They" did not institute the 40 hour work week specifically so you would be too tired to revolt. "They" did not invent the sleek minimalist aesthetic in order to crush the spirit of art in the common people. "They" are not pushing mediocre media into the mainstream in order to poison people's critical thinking skills.
Your best case scenario after that is you talk to someone who actually knows what the fuck they're talking about and you get embarrassed because you can't answer basic questions about your own ideology because you never learned anything past "the ruling class/capitalists/politicians are making things bad and if we got rid of them the bad things would all go away!"
Your worst case scenario is obviously the woo-to-fascist pipeline and you end up believing Jews are poisoning American food supplies with GMOs in order to turn us all into beta cucks, so like . . . maybe just stop blaming "them" before you fall down that route.
Obligatory round of disclaimers: Yes, sometimes people do bad things. Be specific about exactly who is doing what instead of ascribing it to some vague group of shadowy elites. Yes, sometimes things in society are bad. Learn to identify the root causes of complex social issues instead of assuming that they're actually extremely simple to fix and we're just not doing it because of some vague group of shadowy elites. Yes, minimalism isn't for everyone. Learn that some people don't share your tastes and get the fuck over it for the love of god.
#surprise! this was actually just my way of complaining that that 'classical tutor' post is going around again#complaining about the degeneracy of modern society because our cars aren't colorful enough or whatever#what if i told you that sometimes societal tastes and customs change naturally over time#and not because of targeted interference from vague groups of shadowy elites#anyway! be specific in your words and actually work to understand the underlying causes of things#and above all else understand that sometimes people just like things that you don't like#and that's not a conspiracy. it's not even hard to understand. like come on people#skepticism umbrella
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"Canon divergence" but it's giving characters the close friendships I think they would have had if canon had expanded a little more.
#maybe bc they couldnt include it without overstuffing the story or bc they didn't have time. but i know it happened.#sometimes two characters WOULD have been best friends!! i know they would have been! canon just didn't go into it for some reason#i think i made a post like this before#but whatever#i'm saying stuff
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electing to believe this is what griddlehark looks like to everyone else
#like i could go into my thoughts on bodymodification in domincus and how i think#light eyes/non-brown eyes are infinitely more common now#despite the fact there still seems to be adhesion to the relative norm (natural eye colors#yellow eyes being both unique to the populace of canaan house and unique enough that#gids lineage can be determined via#DESPITE the fact that while theoretically it would be a superficial change#john seems to have inadvertently changed his own genetics to do it? making it something a necromancer Could Do?#idk. whatever#the locked tomb#thoughts from the stars#1k#2k#3k#shout out to my first post to hit#4k#5k#sighs#6k
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starclan's grace <3
gorgeous designs by @dropespeon ! GO CHECK THEM OUT!!!
#this is actually about 4 months old HELP#i was kind of embarrassed to post any of my cat/furry siffrin art for the longest time#and then today i was like#okay but what if i did whatever i want forever#and i was like. okay <3 yay <3#ANYWAY. expect a little more cat siffrin#it's how i play touys :)#artilite#isat#artilite art#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat siffrin#isat fanart#isat loop#warrior cats
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MWAH!
#if you're cold they're cold. Let them in#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#scopophobia#monitoring goes hard. had to get this outof my system#congrats deco27 for releasing a new song that sounds like a new song[TRAIN PASSES OVERHEAD]#Well my most esteemed oomfs have agreed with me so idc. his discography has been looking up since hao though. i like hao. ^_^#Hi everynyan i got my fucking wisdom teeth out last week i AUUUUGH. FUUUUUCK. MY LIFE#Its fjne. Its fine its whatever. Tch. Tch.#I;m feeling the end of semester crunch something crazy i also have a cosplay to make in less than 2 months i havent started#emunene revstar art keeps me going#I NEED TO POST STUFF TO BSKY FIRST BC I WRITE THE ALT TEXT THERE AND THEN GO OH FUCK I DIDNT PUT IT ON TMBLR OT TWT. And u cant fucking#edit alt text onto stupid tweets because that app fucking sucks. GOD DAMNIT
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the energy i'm bringing to linkedin | MY LADY JANE (2024)
#did i start watching this show for anna chancellor#yes and she did NOT let me down#and the show was a fun watch rip </3 you deserved to survive more than one season#anyway. society if people posted like this on linkedin... instead of whatever drivel goes on there all the time....#my lady jane#anna chancellor#tvedit
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Look at that beautifully low quality. He will never switch apps halfway through again
#homestuck#dirk strider#Cannot stand this. But whatever. I’ll post and see how I feel later#Brutal honesty#I am *so* art blocked. I cannot draw anything like at all#Hasn’t happened in a long time. Free me#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#blooby posting#art#fanart
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Gay pride happens in June and gay wrath happens whenever hbomberguy drops a 3+ hour video essay about a specific topic
#hbomberguy#Just watched the full 4 hour plagiarism video and go OFF you funky bisexual king#Also I feel like people casually mention that Internet Historian and that Blare chick should've gotten mentioned more but honestly#Good on him for taking down Luke Stephens too-- who is now afaik a huge channel for video game news#So anyway video good go watch it and go support queer content creators who are not James Somerton :)#See y'all in 2024 when he drops a 5 hour essay on Onion farming or whatever#Seta speaks#top posts#5k#10k
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man. this whole thing pisses me off because like. even when people talk about staff having a history of hating trans women, that this isnt the first time, without fail black trans women are forgotten to be included again and again. im not surprised this caused such an uproar when the popular white woman gets deleted. nobody should be, its been that way like forever. some cunt in my inbox got annoyed i called rita a sex worker (lol? okay)
but i mentioned that in my post because so many black trans women have gotten removed from this site for their sex work alone, regardless of if it "broke community guidelines" or not, especially when tumblr live and the ads on this website are so fucking horny. idek what to say rn because like. this wont get as many notes as the posts talking about her will. the exploding car thing is gonna get more attention than the trans women on this site you dont actually care about listening to. ive been talking about how unfair it is to be a black tgirl on this site for years and nobody cares.
i love rita, we talked abit the other day and she's doing fine, dont get it twisted and think i hate her or some bs, she's a big fucking reason im not fucking homeless.
but part of why her deletion got to #1 trending on tumblr for multiple days in a row is that she's white
#reblog this you fuckers. im tired of you people saying you care about us. about my sisters and then ignore us like we never existed#gonna have to put abuncha these tags here again too otherwise literally nobody will see. i got abuncha new followers for that post#yall better Do Something other than performative bullshit for once#whatever. whatever.#predstrogen#photomatt#transgender#trans rights#black trans lives matter#black trans women#carhammerexplosionmatt
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long way home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#maybe doing bg studies is the activity of choice while waiting fr leaks its so good 2 zone out n not think fr hours#can't stress about canon if you're busy studying window grates and ac units#this ws gonna start as a more train station-y piece#but as i am wont to do i got swept up during my pinterest dive#brought me further and further in2 small town train crossings and i thought they looked so cute#so i am like. puts itfs there :)#i love the idea of them just . meandering whatever quiet town they end up settling down tgt in post-canon#discovering hidden alleys n meeting all the strays holding hands th entire time....#i am manifesting PEACE and TRANQUILITY goddamn it#also i realized after the last domestic itfs series tht my use of red is at an all time low?????? leaning heavy in2 the green/yellow lately#here also . but i like the lil pops of red i included i think it centers them#happy w this!! happy w my me!! as long as i ignore the fact that indoor environments exist maybe backgrounds arent all tht bad :3
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98 lovemail doodles >_<
#trigun#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#nicholas d wolfwood#i was able to convince my friend to start 98 after we got back from AX HAHA and so i wanted to doodle the gang again ^_^#it's so funny how i always draw trimax ww super grumpy but then my 98ww is always such a goofy goober BAHAHA#trimax ww is still pookie to me tho dont get it twisted!!! ^_^#but yeah it's fun to decide how i want to differentiate between the different versions of ww#also i love 98 meryl so much she is so let me speak to the manager core (heart eyes)#and the color palette for vash i referenced from the lost july episode bc I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH THE COLORS IN THE PLANT STATION SCENES#idk what it is abt it but it tickles my brain. so pretty T__T#man im fr that type of artist who is posting different versions of the same drawings on different platforms LOL#but yall on tumblr and ig get it better imo hehe. when i post on twitter im like fucket whatever#i usually dont post on tumblr/ig until a day or two later so by then i make a couple of changes/finish stuff/color stuff#so here u go enjoy the colored versions of these doodles HAHA
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