#Some ol' bullsh*t

[smokeybrandreviews]

Stay Out the Kitchen

I am absolutely captivated by what Larian has created with Baldur’s Gate 3. Just, flat-out, dumbfounded by what this smallish studio was able to do with seven years and pure passion for the project. Now, I am aware that Larian is not a small studio. They have several hits under their belt and enough clout to wrest the DnD license away from the notoriously stingy Wizards of the Coast, but let’s be real; They ain’t EA. Larian took one hundred million dollars, and developed a whole ass masterpiece. I’ve not been so enamored with a game since the first time I played Mass Effect 2. Literally the same emotions. I can see myself putting thousands of hours into this world, that’s how deep it is. That’s how fun it is to play. That’s how rich these characters are. I love Karlach as much as I love Tali and that sh*t is a lot. Like, a lot-a lot. You have to be at the top of your game in terms of writing and performance to deliver such an emotional resonance with my jaded ass. I legitimately care about these characters and the lives they lead, lives I control to a certain extent. All of this out of a studio with no shareholder backing or corporate f*ckery. That’s why Larian is bowing out of BG4, WotC and Hasbro want to go about with their f*ckery. Larian, the little studio that could, dropped the best game of last year, and when the Brinks truck rolled up with the Corpo notes, they said “No”. They get to keep their creative soul and develop whatever projects they want, all because Larian turned down that blood money. Which is why I’m so f*cking concerned about Dragon Age: The Veilguard.

I mentioned Mass Effect 2 being one of the quintessential moments in my gaming life. That’s very true. At the time, Bioware had delivered unto me the best Star Wars game, ever, in the form of Knights of the Old Republic. On the strength of Lord Revan's Misadventures, I was hooked on whatever this studio decided to do next. Interestingly enough, that was their BG3. KotOR killed and, when Lucasarts came a knocking for a sequel, Bioware gave them the hard passed, instead starting work on Mass Effect. Some years later, before EA got their blood money into them, they dropped Dragon Age: Origins and, I think, Dragon Age 2? I own both of those games, beat them both, but I didn’t care about the franchise until Inquisition. The first, full EA tainted Dragon Age title. I played the hell out of it but never felt fulfilled. This listlessness got me to revisit those older games and, for my tastes, they are better. In terms of narrative and overall plot, they are far superior. That said, DA: I does a better job of pathos and character development. I mean, it doesn’t, I just really like romancing Cassandra. She’s adorable. In all honesty, though, Dragon Age: Inquisition is kind of tedious to play. The open world format could be overwhelming at times and you can easily miss essential sh*t mad easy. There are laughable difficulty spikes just randomly on maps. The f*cking Giants just strolling around on any stage will absolutely wreck your sh*t until you are stupidly over leveled for the area. My biggest gripe, though? Corypheus. As a main antagonist, he’s a nothingburger and really drags the game down. Ultimately, I like playing DA: I. I have hundreds of hours in that game. It’s not as good as the first two and a lot of that has to do with EA ruining Bioware for a decade, which is why I am sweating bullets about Veilguard.

From what I’ve heard, what I’ve seen in those trailers, DA: V looks fun. “Looks” is a kind of a misnomer in terms of actual visuals because, while I got over it fairly quickly, the fandom has denounced the art direction of this game. Cries of “Fortnite” have rang through the troves fans and they’re right. This game looks nothing like its predecessors, nothing like a Dark Fantasy title should, and it’s leaving so much to be desired. Those who have gotten a hands-on with it say the combat is mad deep and delivers unexpected mechanics to exploit but I am weary. EA is pretty much tightening the noose around Bioware with this goofy ass title which had to restart production in the middle of development, twice. Once, because EA finally laid to rest the Frostbite engine mandate, and another to literally retool the entire narrative. This game started out as Dragon Age: Dread Wolf and now is something completely different. This isn’t the game we were promised. It’s an entirely new experience, one that has cost, at the very least, a hundred million dollars, and taken a decade to bring to life. And will probably be absolutely terrible in all the places people who play these types of games, will hate. I’ll hold my judgment until I actually play the thing, mostly because I don’t want Bioware to get nixed by EA for bungled sales, but Larian they are not. Too many cooks in the kitchen, and half of them want live services. That means the dish in the oven is going to end up being overcooked and burnt. Larian could never.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

I did it :D I tortured Yorkie with my bullsh*t again :’)

~Yorkie isn’t having a great time in this~

⚠️TW⚠️mentions of war and 9/11, mentioned abuse and SA, possible inaccurately described mental disorders/illnesses, and the characters might possibly be OOC

=======================================================================

Around 8pm:

To say that New York was having a rough day would be an understatement. First reason, he had gotten no sleep the night before (not that he ever did sleep in the first place), because he was awake all night dealing flashbacks of war, past domestic violence regarding Britain, and 9/11. He hated that he could still hear the screams and gunshots and the other various sounds of war. He hated that he could still hear his father’s harsh words and feel his harsh grip on his body. He hated that he could still hear the sounds of the planes crashing into the towers, and the screams of his people was almost deafening, and he could feel the phantom pain of the large gaping wound that had spread across his back that day.

Second reason, whilst it wasn’t that bad, yet still a bit annoying, he was having one of those days where certain texture were a big ol’ nope. Unfortunately, the textures of his usual favorite shirt and jacket were a BIG nope, and anytime he tried putting them on, he took them off almost immediately. So he decided to settle for something new-ish, and grabbed one of his soft cropped sweaters and black sweatpants. That wasn’t a big deal, until he went to the store later that day since it was his turn to do the shopping.

And that’s a near perfect transition into reason número tres. When he had went to the store, he kept getting followed around by this jacka$$ that kept trying to ask him out, ask for his number, flirt with him, and even TOUCHED him inappropriately once. When York confronted the guy about touching him and harassing him, the guy responded with saying stuff like "Oh c’mon, you were basically asking for it with the way you’re dressed", and "Well it’s not my fault your dressed like that and have such a small waist", and other creepy sh*t that made New York incredibly uncomfortable. Luckily Mass had came with York to the store and told the guy off with a "few" "small" threats when he found them.

Reason number four, due to the air quality in his state, York was having a bit of a rough time breathing at some parts of the day (his asthma didn’t make it any better), and had moments where he would feel incredibly dizzy and nearly black out. He was coughing a bit every now and then, and once he even dissolved into a coughing fit in his room, and he ended up coughing up blood on one of the rugs he had, which was he//a fun to clean.

And final reason is the fact that he was currently at a meeting that Gov had scheduled at 8-F*CKING-PM. Who in their right mind does that?! Gov, apparently, but York highly doubted that the government personification was ever in his right mind to be honest.

Oklahoma and Texas were fighting again, Florida was busy messing with Gov, Loui looked like he was trying his hardest to not sentence Alabama to eternal damnation cuz Bama’ wouldn’t shut his d*mn mouth about Mardi Gras, Pennsylvania and New Jersey were fist fighting, and New York was getting anxious because of noise and chaos.

York could feel his chest tightening and could feel himself slowly losing control of his breathing. He started snapping his fingers against his thigh and tried to calm himself down, but his vision started getting blurred with tears and he could feel the dizziness making itself known. He decided to just slide out from his chair and under the table where he could hopefully calm himself down before he had a full blown panic attack in front of the others. That would be he//a embarrassing. He quietly tried doing some of the breathing exercises he learned so that the others wouldn’t hear him, but it appears that today was not aligning in his favor, seeing as he dissolved into a coughing fit and started hyperventilating a bit. He could just barely hear the room fall nearly slightly quiet.

New Jersey heard something that sounded like choking and crying and paused his fighting to look around. That unfortunately (or in this case, fortunately) distracted him long enough that Penn had the opportunity to trip and throw him down on the ground, temporarily shocking him for a few moments. But those few moments were all he needed to look under the table and see what seemed to be New York under the table curled in a ball. He then saw Penn getting ready to kick him, and quickly scrambled to sit up and stop Penn from kicking him.

"Penn wait wait-WAIT!!" Shouted the Garden State, putting his arm up to block his face if Penn did follow through with the kick. But he didn’t, thankfully, and just gave the smaller a confused look. Jersey looked back under the table at his younger brother and crawled over slightly. "Ay Yorkie?! Are ya dyin’ or some sh*t?"

The only response he got was a slight cough and a choked cry. Ok- well that was bit concerning…. He got a bit closer to York and saw how violently he was shaking and hyperventilating. "York? You good??" Jersey slid a bit closer to his brother and went to put a hand on his shoulder, but instantly pulled his hand away when the younger let out a small whimper and backed away slightly.

York didn’t even know what was happening, he only knew that he was panicked, couldn’t breathe, overstimulated, and needed to get out of there as soon as possible. He looked up slightly and saw an opening where Texas’s, Oklahoma’s and Jersey’s chairs had moved, and tried to make a run for it, but he only made it halfway to the door before his knees gave out on him. He braved for the fall, but instead of feeling the cold hard ground (OH, OH, TROUBLE TROUBLE 😩✨), he felt two arms wrap around his bare waist (remember, he was wearing a cropped sweater), holding him securely. But of course, he didn’t know who it was, and he felt the weird scratching feeling of arm hair on his waist, so he let out a smallish scream and scratched one of the arms of whoever grabbed him, but they didn’t let go.

Jersey held his younger brother in tight grip, only nearly letting go when York had scratched his arm. He was able to hold on to York pretty easily, seeing as he actually had some muscle on him and York didn’t seem to. He struggled to keep a hold of the younger when he tried sliding out of his arms, and decided to gently guide the slightly taller panicked state into a sitting position on the floor in the corner. Jersey could the stares of some of the other states, but chose to ignore them, seeing as this was more important. He silently cursed when he saw York bury his head in his knees, meaning he wasn’t getting any fresh air and breathing wouldn’t be easier. He grabbed the slightly taller’s shoulder gently and said "York?"

York slowly looked up at his older brother. He had multiple tears running down his face and was hyperventilating. And let’s not even talk about how much he was shaking. "Y-y-yea..?" He asked quietly, his voice shaking.

"I’m gonna need ya to breathe. Like this, copy after me kiddo." Said the Garden State. He took a slow deep inhale, and then exhaled, York following his actions. Slowly but surely, the Empire State regained control of his breathing, but he was still crying a bit and shaking.

"Can I hug ya?" Jersey asked. He waited until York gave a small nod and then grabbed him and set him in his lap, where York wrapped his legs around the older’s torso and buried his face in his shoulder. Jersey wrapped his arms around his brother and buried his face in the crook of York’s neck. The two brother’s sat like that for a while until York had near fully calmed down. The older of the two lightly poked York in the side, making him flinch and turn his attention to his brother.

"Do ya wanna talk about it? You don’t have to speak, tap my arm if yes, hug me tighter if no." whispered the Garden State. He mumbled an okay when he felt York hug him tighter.

"Is New York alright?" Gov asked as he walked over to the two states.

Jersey stood up with York wrapped around him. "Yea he’ll be aight. I’m gonna bring im’ to his room and let im’ rest."

"Alright then. Good night, New Jersey." said the Fed. He smiled and walked back over to the table to make a sad attempt at regaining control of things.

Jersey teleported to York’s room and gently set the near fully-asleep York on his bed. He was about to teleport when he felt someone grab his hand and heard a small, near-silent whine. He sighed quietly and got into the bed with the younger. He couldn’t help the small smile crept onto his face when his younger brother cuddled close to him and buried his face in his chest. Jersey felt the bed sink a bit on the other side, indicating that Nico (York’s golden retriever) and Kodi (York’s border collie) had jumped on the bed to join them in a cuddle session. He gently patted each dog on the head when they started sniffing the two of them, and smiled fondly when York sleepily giggled when Kodi nuzzled into his ear and neck.

Eventually, the four of them fell asleep peacefully, and once again, Rhode Island got some new blackmail :)

[smokeybrand]

As the World Turns

This Jonathan Majors sh*t done took a turn. Dude was in court to make his plea and they set a date for August 3rd. I cannot wait because, holy sh*t, this doesn’t look good for ol’ girl! First and foremost, the inciting event of the entire situation was that, apparently, Majors was “cheating” on his then white girlfriend, Grace Jabari with some black woman. There were “salacious” texts Grace had come across to this mystery ebony temptress which sent her into a rage in that cab. At the time, we didn’t know which black woman he was talking to but she accompanied him to this past court date. It’s f*cking Megan Good! Yo, Megan Good is the woman Grace felt threatened enough by, to physically attack Majors in plain view of a driver and on the car’s camera! And rightfully so. Megan Good is one of the most beautiful women on the planet AND she’s black! That is an affront to an affluent white woman like Jabari. How dare Majors use me to support his dreams and then step out on e with a darkie who is several times hotter than me? The utter audacity!

So Grace attacks Majors in the cab and he bails. The cabbie attests to the fact Majors never once became the aggressor, that he never even raised his voice. Dude is more than willing to testify to that under oath. He tried to leave the car and she pulled on him so hard, she tore his clothes. In plain view of random NYC tourists! More witnesses to the utter nonsense! Not only that, but he stopped and took photos and videos with these people, who openly comments about how nice he was, on camera, moment after being accosted by a jealousy fueled, crazy white woman! At this point, the to separate. For actual goddamn hours. Seven, to be in fact. Majors checked into a hotel across town, sent a break-up text, and turned off his phoned. After ha, he didn’t see nor speak o grace for seven goddamn hours! and his is where he plot thickens!

Majors was across on in a hotel while Grace went to a club called Loosie’s. A club she stayed in, partied, and got absolutely sh*tfaced, for at least three hours. She can be seen, on camera, using the hand with the alleged broken finger, in no pain whatsoever. Hugging, dancing, using stairs, holding drinks; Not even a hint of a broken anything. Now, i make it a point to say that because the assault which lead to the broken finger and bloody ear, took place in the car where the cabbie said nothing happened. The car Majors fled and took selfies with those tourists. So Grace is in this club, dancing her sad away after getting dropped by the up-swinging Majors, drunkenly makes her way back to the penthouse they share, drinks more liquor to the point of throwing up, chases that with sleeping pills, and passes out. My mistake, blacks out. How do we know this? Because she said so to the goddamn cops! This next part is what really sets the tone for this entire bullsh*t situation.

Majors comes home, like i said, seven hours later and find a closet locked. He can’t get into it so he called the handy man to open  it. There, they both find a half naked and unconscious grace on the closet floor. Majors then calls the cops, who show up and comment about how nice the apartment was, how they are so surprised someone so young (read BLACK) could afford a place like this. They wake Grace, take Majors away, and interview her. The sh*t goes nowhere because she’s drunk and off those sleeping pills. The body cam footage literally has her looking down at her broken hand and saying out loud “What happened to my hand?” Bro, if your giant, rich, black, ex-boyfriend shattered your phalanges, you’d remember that, right? There’s a reason why she recanted and apologized to Majors. Twice. And it’s because she did that sh*t to herself in a drunken stupor over getting dumped by on of the most famous dudes in Hollywood. Which is what i said when this sh*t first broke all those months ago.

So what’s the motive for her to lie? Why did sh press charges? Grace didn’t. She tried to back out of the entire situation the day it all went public. Why do you thin she gave those two, sworn statements, voluntarily, to Majors’ lawyer? No, this sh*t smacks of an overeager prosecutor in the DA’s office, trying to make a name for themselves. Cats have come out of the woodwork with allegations and statements of victim hood at the hands of the “violent psychopath” Jonathan Majors but that’s all they have; statements and testimony. Words. Accusations. Majors wants this to go to trial. He wants all of this out in the open. Grace is the one who doesn’t. His lawyer has evidence, had evidence, to back up her timeline. She has eyewitness, video, and corroborating statements. Does Jonathan Majors have anger issues? Maybe. Did he cut a bloody swath through his college campus way back when? Could be. Prove it. Show me physical evidence that would speak to this current situation because, after reading about all of this new sh*t, Majors is looking like he’s getting that Depp treatment and it sucks major ass.

[thelonesomequeen]

At this point, random speculation is coming from people who are not fans. They're messing with people. Some/most of the anons probably don't even like him that much, and it's some back-handed vendetta against him because he's a liberal, progressive actor (to an extent) who spoke out about people who had a problem against a same-sex kiss in LY, or because he was vocally anti-Trump/anti-republican. I think we can safely dismiss any further anon bullsh*t and stick with the good ol' 'pics or it didn't happen' *shrug*

This has definitely been going on longer than the drama surrounding Lightyear. But I agree, pics or it didn’t happen. That’s been my motto here from the beginning 😂 maybe I need to change it to “crystal clear, obvious pics or it didn’t happen” 😂🦎

[cyrah-is-cool101]

Standing Up For Others

My first Punch Out fanfic, inspired by this post (@nesssblog). Please Enjoy! 

3rd Person’s POV 

It was another day at the WVBA, Star Mika, the youngest Filipino boxer of the Minor Circuit, was finishing up after a match. She was heading out of the lockers when she saw a flash of light. Curiosity got the better of Mika so, she went to check up on it. 

Mika: (In her mind) That’s odd, who could be taking pictures now? Probably Macho Man, taking selfies again.

But what she did see was not she expected; there was her fellow Filipino boxer Adarna, covered in glue and feathers with a sign that says ‘Chicken’ in front and there was Novio Mancilla, the low ranking Special Circuit boxer, filming on his phone while smiling menacingly. Mika was shocked at this but most importantly, she was angry, she knew she couldn’t let this guy, do such a horrible act to her ate* (sister in Filipino), especially not on her watch. Mika knew she couldn’t use her boxing skills outside of the ring but she won’t let some bastard hurt another human being. Mika took out a bottle of mace and went up to Novio, who was still taking pictures of Adarna. 

Mika: Hey A$$hole! 

Novio: Huh? 

Mika sprays the mace on Novio’s eyes, which cause him to drop his phone. 

Novio: AGHHH! 

Mika then helps Adarna up while Novio was on the ground, on his knees while covering his eyes. 

Star Mika: Ate! Are you ok? 

Adarna: Oo* (Yes in Filipino), I-I’m fine.. 

Mika: (looks at Novio) Hey jacka$$, what the hell is wrong with you!? Don’t you know that she’s Catagelophobia (Fear of being ridiculed)!? 

Novio: (chuckles) For a Minor Circuit chick, you’ve got some balls to ya. I like that in a woman.~

Mika: Shut up! (slaps him in the face) I am sick and tired of your bullsh*t every time you try to mess with another boxer! I hope you burn in hell! 

Adarna: Mika, please stop... 

Star Mika: (looks at Adarna) No! He tried to humiliate you and I won’t stand for it! (Looks back at Novio) As for you, you’re nothing but a rotten human being who doesn’t have any dignity to human life! 

Novio: (stands up) Hmph and you’re Little Ms. Perfect. (Looks around on the ground for his phone) Hey where’s my phone? 

Star Mika: (smirks) Oh you mean this?~ (takes out Novio’s phone and deleted the video he took) 

Novio: (shocked) How did you- 

Star Mika: A magician never reveals her secret.~

Mika throws the phone at Novio, who catches it with a disbelief but angered look on his face. Afterwards, Novio storms off with his tail between his legs, Adarna, on the other hand, was speechless. 

Adarna: Mika, how did you do that? 

Mika: (giggles) That’s a secret I won’t tell.~ Come on, ate, let’s get you cleaned up! 

Adarna: (smiles softly) Ok. 

Later, Adarna was finally cleaned off of the glue and feathers, she thanked Mika and went somewhere else, probably finding Hondo as usual. Mika gave a sigh of relief when she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned around and saw Aran Ryan, the Irish boxer who Mika hates him to the core but is way more better than Novio anyways. 

Mika: What do you want Aran? 

Aran: Oh come on lass, don’t tell me you weren’t the one who stand up to ol’ Novio, didn’t ya? 

Mika: Wait how did you- 

Aran: Saw ya when I was coming out of the shower, you sure got some guts, eh lassie? 

Mika: (blushes) I-I was only trying to help Ate Adarna, t-that’s all.. 

Aran: (smirks) Really now? How did that made you feel when you stand up to someone as psychotic as Novio? 

Mika: Umm... I guess it did gave me quite the adrenalin.. 

Aran: See? That’s the lass I know who can stand up for others! 

Mika: Wow, Aran, I didn’t know you care. 

Aran: Hey, if my favorite lass stands up to save others, that’s why I knew she has a heart of gold and a bright smile. 

Mika: Well that’s- wait did you call me your favorite? 

Aran: Of course (lifts her chin) would I ever lie to?~

Mika: (blushes and swats Aran’s hand away) Yeah, maybe a few times you did lie. 

Aran: Heh sure you are lass, say you wanna go out with me?~

Hearing this, Mika was surprised, Aran never asks her out, except if it’s a bet or dare. Mika knew she wouldn’t go on a date with the crazy Irish, even if it cost her life! But, seeing how Aran was watching her from a distance, impress by how she can stand up for others so, why the hell? It won’t be too bad, right? 

Mika: (smiles) Sure, pick me up at 8, handsome.~ (winks seductively and walks away) 

Aran: (blushing and shocked, but smirked back) (in his mind) Damn, that lass is one hell of a woman, I’m going to enjoy our date.~ 

The End. 

(Sorry if it’s short)

Novio belongs to @makeanotherpunchoutnintendo 

Adarna belongs to @nesssblog​

[zikadraws]

So here we have a “Courage The Cowardly Dog”-based post...

[Beware long post ‘cause I have no idea how to organize my nonsense.]

So as I said lately I have been a lot involved into CTCD and my original BATIM-based character Bianca Drew (who literally have her own archstory in my head by now), so of course I’ve been mixing the two. There’s a lot of context to this normally, but it’s a very long story so I prefer to reserve it for a special post if you’re interested to know the (at least general) plot (and maybe lore) of Bianca Drew’s story. If you’re interested, that is. I usually need some external trigger for that, so your move for this one.

ANYWAY basically, I’ve been having some fun with the ‘Courage The Cowardly Dog’ characters, so I imagined what they would look like if they passed by Bianca’s ‘Realistification’ treatments... Willingly or incidentally. If you want details please ask. 

Here’s what I got with them so far...

First off, we have The Clutching Foot, -who’s basically a giant, fungused, sentient foot with each toe representating a gangster, yeah I know don’t ask- who ‘thanks’ to Bianca’s... settings finally got a splitted up form. And they snatched that opportunity to found their own actual mafia. (Under Bianca’s [indirect] profit though). They still can reform if they want to and can communicate telepathically. I never thought I’d actually have fun doing something with a character objectively that gross at first too but here we are.

Some more character concept bonuses to shape it up because I CAN :

-Yeah obviously Bianca would have really rather did without their bullsh!t-

Now though they’re far from being the only ones ; for she also ended up (with or without spite) giving the Realistification opportunity to many others...

(Here we have the realistified versions of Cajun Fox, Katz, Shirley the Medium, Kitty and Bunny, the Hunchback (doodles) and Parachute Girl and Jumprope Kid who I like to believe are relatives. And a slightly plotting Bianca.)

Wether any of them (even her) like it or not, it’s a thing now and they’d better deal with it~ =w=

Yeah, it’s a big ol’ bunch of nonsense and probably doesn’t feel really smooth in its presentation, but hey, if I dare hope that it is as fun of a concept for you. :) I’d hope so because in the end of the day, I’m definitely not done with those, you’ve been warned... ;>

(Oh, and before we leave, a tiny bonus to the last one...)

Breaking news : Morally-questionnable businesscat done did being a pompous asshole, local fox has had it

(I don't think these two really get along lol-)

And thank you for taking interest in my random mindstorm any either way !🤗

See y’all ✨🎵😅🎵✨

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Top five outtakes, if you can choose. Not sure about you but I quote them as if they were my religion haha.

(I can’t choose)

- VIRGIIIIIILLLLLLLL!

- Ssssssshtop

- YeAhAheaHehhh!

- *sqwaking noises* I’m a pretty pretty bird!

- Scare them right out of my pants!

- Whoever burnt the library of Alexandria: Your mom’s a hoe!

- You can’t f*cking punch me.... I’m imaginary you dumb sh*t.

- POOPY SH*T MOTHERF*CKER!

- *Logan rambling about how Patton coming back and turning everyone into puppets is bullsh*t* Oh, we’ve had a script re-write. My new line is: “what?”

- Seven thousand sixteyyyyn....

- It’s like a bondaid, you just gotta rip it off

- What the fue?

- Sorry Mr. Lamp.... *stumbles* aH!

- Good ol Virgil monologue back again *is playing Logan*

- Mmm................. moo

- Where’s the wedding...???? *does weird eye- hand thing* That was stupid... that was a stupid move. Eat sh*t losers. F*cking killed that one *trips on table* ow... Get ready I just beefed it over here you’re gonna have to stand in it. Read off the charges pleassssssssssssseeee blelelele *tounge thing*

- *leans dramatically into the podium* I’m a little drunk.

- Along with your other unmentionables: Yer taint, yer balls, yer dingus!

- *inhale* Boi!

- in a LEGAL SETTING! *gets shook at his own voice* LEGAL AND BINDING! YOU SIGNED IT! GOOD DAY SIR!

- Uh... I broke my gavel? *wheezes*

- *long pause, puts hand over mouth* I..... I pooped my pants.

- No onesie, no vote! LIKE OUR FOUNDING FATHERS BELIEVED!

- uh *hacks* hairball...

- That’s like slapping me in the face with my own BEAUTIFULLY MANICURED C*CK

- Hey everybody, I know it’s the last day of class I thought we’d have some fun!

- Oh no, I farted out loud! God heard, but the devil was the one who caused it!

- WHERE ARE YOUR KIDS PATTON?! HOW ARE YOU A DAD IF YOU DON’T HAVE KIDS!

- Do you like meeeeeeee??????

- If they’re not going to hurt Thomas back then. why don’t we just KILL THEM.

- NO ONE TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY..... b*tch.

- And I’m Robe-an. Yep.... thats it. That’s crativity. *donks head* I still got it

- *Janus pulls butterfingers from behind Pattons head and Patton let’s out an ungodly moan* ....holy sh*t.

- And now maybe we ruined a-ah.... and now maybe we ruined a!... and NOW maybe we ruined a! Ugh! *bleh bleh bleh bleh*

(so these are just a few that me and my sister quote on a daily basis)

[yanak324]

*Fanfic Friday* Rec List 📖😷

One of my favorite books is “Love in the Time of Cholera” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. As I was reading some of the brilliant stories I list below, I couldn’t help but think I should call this week’s rec list, “Reading Gendrya in the Time of Corona,” because honestly, fanfiction has been such a safe haven for me this week. I don’t know what I’d do without all this wonderful (and free!) entertainment our gendrya fam is feeding us.

This week’s list is a mix of stories that I’ve already recced that have updated and those that I dug up from the archives. (Think back to the glorious period of Spring 2019 when we were all young, ignorant, and hyped because our she wolf and blacksmith were eyef*cking the hell out of each other within the first 20 mins of Season 8...oh the good ole days.)

I’m positive the world will go back to moving at the speed of light very, very soon but for now, take a pause and enjoy the brilliance of our fellow gendrya stans and writers! And don’t forget to let them know how much you like it (kudos, comments, bookmarks, reblogs, the whole shebang 🥰).

Happy reading & stay hydrated & safe 🤓💦⛑

No Big Deal by @jepshe

Arya & Gendry are back on their bullsh*t and I am here for it. There’s nothing more delicious than these two fools dancing around each other, while having some incredibly satisfying sex. If that’s your cup of tea, check out this update! It’s certainly mine 😏🍵

My world goes soft (before the storm) by @thelandofnothing

Oh how I missed this story! Proof that Arya and Gendry will always find their way to each other in any universe. This one also features uncle!Gendry, very heated make out sessions (and epic smut) and in this update, Arya reflects on their budding relationship, how hard she’s falling (aw), and faces an obstacle. Storytelling at it’s finest...go read!!

in the heat of moments with your heart playing up cold by @ariastarke

This is a truly remarkable oneshot that gives us a glimpse into a canon-verse world where Gendry grows up in Winterfell alongside the Starks. It spans a lot of years and is told from Arya’s perspective as she grows closer and closer to Gendry, culminating in one of the best love confessions I’ve ever read for this pairing. Nothing tickles me more than good, quality canon writing that showcases the strength of Gendrya’s friendship and subsequent romantic relationship and this one has it in spades. Enjoy! I definitely did 😍

fight the break of dawn by @chasingforeverandaday

Speaking of excellent canon, one of my FAVE canon writers busted out with this gift for @welt-verbessererin that is not only very realistic (Gendry is tiiiired from all his weapons forging) but shows a sweeter side to Arya that we don’t often get to see. This one shot beautifully captures an intimate moment between our fave couple against the backdrop of impending war...and let’s just say, it left me feeling warm, cozy and happy. As @chasingforeverandaday‘s writing usually does. Check it out!

Forging the Broken Pieces of Us into Something Better by r_j_l

This is an oldie but goodie. I’m sharing the entire series here, because it’s just that good. It features a series of soft, smutty, romantic and at times angsty moments between Arya and Gendry as they try to establish a new normal amidst all the turmoil they’re experiencing. Also canon-set, also sexy, and deeply emotional. One of my faves from way back when and I know I’ll be returning to it again and again.

practice makes perfect by @kelleesioverhere

Every time this story updates, I can’t breathe. No joke. This is *the* best portrayal of Arya’s inner thoughts that I’ve seen written in a modern setting AND this is just hot as hell...the last update left me absolutely shooketh and I didn’t know whether to aww, fan myself, or just lie down and patiently wait for an update. This story should have a disclaimer on it that warns people to turn on a cold shower immediately after...or at least get an ice pack from the fridge. I had to do both 🥺🥴🥵

the overstay by @watersandwolves

The quarantine fic that was promised. Arya arrives in Storm’s End to help long-time friend, Gendry deal with his father’s estate only to find out Westeros is battling a nasty virus (familiar, eh?) and she’s stuck there for the foreseeable future. The first chapter was just a light tease of what’s to come but there were already some incredible nuggets of banter, subtle looks, domesticity, AND beautiful descriptions of Storm’s End. I can almost forgive @watersandwolves for not updating switch, if she updates this baby soon...but from what I heard, we might be getting both and we are so blessed for it. Can’t wait either way! Also, the title is stupidly clever and I’m here for it!

[bitesize-astrology]

Stop The Bullsh*t

Sunday - August 30, 2020

I apologize for the lateness of today's post; I had to deal with my bullsh*t. And I apologize for the crassness of today's post as it will call you on your bullsh*t.

This is a day to recognize and admit your own bullsh*t. What is bullsh*t? I don't really know how to define it, but I know it when I see it - and so do you. As Harry Frankfurt noted in his book "On Bullshit," (yes, it is a real book) "bullshit is a process rather than an end product."

Today is an excellent, excellent day to identify bullsh*t that is keeping you in the same bullsh*t experiences, messes and outcomes. And if you were able to get some insight yesterday by "being dirty" (see yesterday's post) you already know where you need to start. Start with caring enough about yourself to transform the structures in your Life that are not working, this courtesy of today's opposition between Venus in Cancer and Pluto in Capricorn at 22°. Understand that your physical circumstances are showing you what is going on in the non-physical (i.e. your thoughts and ideas), as you will see in today's opposition between Mercury in Virgo and Neptune in Pisces at 19°. And to cap it off, a Yod (i.e. the "finger of God") that involves the Moon in Aquarius (innovation) and Chiron in Aries (wounding) points directly to the Sun in Virgo (reality).

Bullsh*t looks beautiful, and those who employ it dress it up in all sorts of ways to make it look more appealing. That is until you pick it up and see and smell what it is really made of. Only you really know what bullsh*t you are trying to get others, and ultimately yourself, to believe. If you're tired of that same ole recipe, TODAY is a day to make some BIG changes.

[lifeseverchanging]

MMX #6 (SPOILERS)

Mr. and Mrs. X Issue #6 - The bottle issue we have all been waiting for! I managed to sleep through past the midnight hour this time around but not without waking up at 5:30 a.m. and realizing I should use the small amount of valuable time before the workday began to read this issue! I had wanted to wait until I bought the floppy from my LCS so I can read it from the pages of the book to try to avoid my usual knee-jerk reaction from my groggy sleep deprived reads during the wee hours of the morning. But, yeah right. Like that happened! What? Like I suddenly grew self control? out of NOWHERE? No sir, not I.

Before we begin I want to explain that I am ridiculously emotionally invested in our heroes story. Since I was a child and long since before I could really comprehend what romantic love actually is I had fallen in love with the idea of the kind of love that exists between Gambit and the untouchable Rogue. After the many years of heartache and heartbreak we are witnessing the best times Romy has ever seen as a couple. Their story is being written by a person who truly loves the pair and what that does is makes the expectations incredibly high from the diehard fans. We are the ones who held out hope and turned to fanfic when Romy was barely a memory in the Marvel universe. The hopefuls who kept the torch lit throughout the darkest and most desolate of times and we are a thirsty bunch who won’t let even a drop go to waste.

So away we go! The book opens up at GAMBIT AND ROGUE’S APARTMENT in Manhattan. Bobby arrives to the party on time and is the first guest to Rogue’s dismay.

We can clearly see trouble is lurking ahead from the loft windows. 

CAT SPOTTING: I spy with my little eye a Fiagaro and an Oliver and Figaro again!

Rogue takes advantage of Bobby’s on time arrival and terrifies him into helping cut the cheese and refrain from making fart jokes. Our hostess is clearly flustered and behind on schedule when the doorbell rings again... (Loving Gambit’s third party dialogue)

CAT SPOTTING: Remy picks up Figaro and bravely holds him again his shirt (if you have cats you know what I mean) RING SPOTTING: Gambit’s ring, ahh!

Remy’s father, Jean Luc, makes his appearance however Tante does not.  Jean Luc drops some foreshadowing of things to come with this comment about Tante demanding a visit from Gambit and Rogue in New Orleans. 

Naturally Rogue is utterly sweet to JL (if you have ever read a fanfic by the name of “Treading Water” you will understand why this embrace between Rogue and JL caused me to shudder) and Remy gets all of the blame about the spontaneous wedding not allowing any of his family to be there. 

CAT SPOTTING: Figaro Jean states he can’t stay but needed to warn Remy of the pending attack.

aaaand in comes the party crasher.

Love this little moment between husband and wife... “Wild Horses couldn't stop me” - Rogue

@cajuncajole spotted that something was missing. See: RING SPOTTING below

RING SPOTTING: 

And the uninvited guests quickly goes back out.

Rooftop fighting ensues where the unknown t’ieves point out that their King doesn’t even recognize his soldiers. This is certainly going to lead us into the Guild issues Kelly has planned after the Mojoverse arc.

Rogue is a complete bad ass who joins the fight up on the roof with no regard to not having her powers but she quickly finds herself in a bind of which Remy helps get her out of.  RING SPOTTING: Rogue!

It’s important to note that this scene draws out how well they know one another and why Gambit and Rogue have always made a great team and just how much trust they have in each other. 

Love that the card he throws is none other than the QUEEN OF HEARTS (The card he gives to Rogue)

RING SPOTTING: Rogue!

Quite the flashback to X-Treme X-Men days!

Though it doesn’t stop Rogue from becoming infuriated and ready to nip this fight in the bud because they have guests arriving and a party to host!

Rogue is going to have to pull out the big guns and take a much needed break from that collar. 

This is now probably my new favorite phrase: HOO BOY! Remy leaps off of the building in his bad-assery ragin’ cajun kind of way.

The comical moment where Laura and Bobby are a witness to his jump while Rogue knocks all of the thieves out with her new powerset. I can already hear the Gambit-only fans being peeved over this but simmer down, they need to get back to their party and this is the quickest way!

Then we have the amazing loft view/party scene.

CAT SPOTTING: Lucifer at the top of the loft, Oliver and Figaro down below watching the party goers. 

One of my favorite moments of the party scene was certainly when Bishop retells the pie story and Rogue corrects him on the type of pie it was (she baked Boysenberry!). I also loved when Remy threatens to push Kitty out the window while standing directly behind her as Lorna, Jean and Angel were discussing how impressive Remy’s amazing rooftop jump was.

Sidenote: TIL Bobby is cheap.  I truly wish we had focused more on the party in this issue but alas we move along to the party winding down (Remy threatening Bobby not to freeze anything - I wonder what exactly?) when suddenly Belle pops in as an invited guest. I can’t say unexpected because because we all saw the preview and knew it was coming but Remy certainly did not see it coming. She’s there to warn him that the Guilds are after his crown after he married the “Princess o' all tings good an’ honorable”. Remy defends his new bride against his ex wife however Belle won’t be deterred and has the balls to let him know exactly how she feels. I noticed Remy didn’t close the door in spite of her presence. 

I wasn’t a fan of the scene where Remy looks like a little kid who just got scolded but this last shot was lovely... and it transcends into the next scene where we find an upside down Rogue in the fetal position taking a much needed break from that collar. 

Speaking of unexpected... Magneto pays Rogue a visit. Though it makes no sense why Rogue summoned him at all it is incredibly unclear as to when she contacted him. 

This panel got a lot of people talking... some were mad (raises hand), some didn’t mind or care at all (mainly due to the fact that there was no real sense that these two have romantic feelings for one another) and others are claiming this is proving Rogue still loves Mags and trusts him more than Remy. (Bullsh*t)

Listen, aside from the obvious parallel Kelly was going for with the “Exes” the main problem with this scene is that she makes it seem as if Rogue doesn’t trust Remy. It makes her look as if she will confide in a person like Magneto over her husband, her best friend and partner in life. After mulling over this GD scene for about 48 hours I finally did some real soul searching to make sense of this panel. Kelly knows that continuity should not be ignored so I think she felt compelled to make an attempt to shut that R and Fapneto ship door as best as she could. 

Did this moment belong in this particular issue? I think not... I feel as if this panel was removed and more party panels were shown people would have loved the hell out of this issue. I think Kelly really didn’t want to leave the ex situation one-sided and she felt as if she needed to prove that the only thing left between the two of them is friendship. 

Like it or not, Rogue is the kind of person who wants to stay friends with people that matter/mattered to her. DO most of us feel the need to stay friends with our exes? NOPE. Do some? SURE. The point is that we as humans are complex creatures who do stupid things from time to time. People are pissed because Rogue is naive enough to call on her ex around a time she ought to be embracing her new marriage/husband instead of confiding in her old friend (and boy do I mean “old”). Rogue is the kind of idiot who would feel the need to apologize to the man she shot down that she didn’t tell him about her wedding in person but there is also probably some need for her to confirm that he has drifted back to the darkside because as a friend she would care about that too.

The upside? There was no hint of romantic love between the two of them. Magneto for once isn’t bad mouthing Gambit and is in fact saying good things about him. Rogue SAYS IT ON PANEL that she does not want to scare off Gambit with her warped powers. She even gushes to Mags about Remy’s approach of their relationship... smells like nothing but friendship to me. There was no hint of jealous ex talk in anyway but some folks will never be convinced. Anyway, with Mags out of the way I can only hope he won’t make any further appearances in this book because he’s the reason I quit reading comics in the first place and I don’t want him anywhere near our newlyweds. Ever again.

Rogue’s comment above about not being sure how many more surprises she can take is what makes the moment when Mags shows up seem like she hadn’t called on him right then and there. (~B’s 2 cents) Then of course she runs (literally) into Beast who provides her with another surprise. A pleasant one. (lol, love Gambit’s playing cards in the closet... I sure hope he buys in bulk from Amazon).  RING SPOTTING: Rogue (yeah I just  love seeing the rings)

Beast comes through for Rogue and makes her a new and improved power inhibitor tennis bracelet. You know she was totally kidding about the design but good ol’ Beast doesn’t know any better. Whatever, it works and is a much needed upgrade from that collar that made Rogue look like a poor puppy. The concerned expression on Beast’s face as he embraces her does make me worry a bit. Or maybe it’s just sympathy that Rogue has to be confined to a power inhibitor at all.

The look on their faces. Yeah, hosting is a shit ton of work especially when exes show up. How exhausting! 

I loved the moment between Remy and Rogue here that they both acknowledge that they need to talk (Hoo Boy, don’t they!?) but that it can wait... you know, for science reasons. 

Unfortunately they spot a gift they had missed...  (speaking of spotting - CAT SPOTTING: Lucifer!)

... and they’re immediately warped into Mojoverse. I thought it was funny that Kelly took a stab at herself with the last page. Ahhhh, those uniforms...  In my perfect version of this book we would not have addressed the Magneto thing so soon (but I am glad it’s out of the way) so we could have had a little more party and an indication that the newlyweds get a moment to test out that new bracelet *wink* before jumping right into the next crazy arc with Mojo.  All in all the bottle issue of MMX was a fun one that had a lot of fun callbacks to the past (some not so fun) and the change of art was a breath of fresh air! (even if Rogue wasn’t the most flattering - at least Belle looked gorgeous). THINGS I LOVED:  Cats and Rings! Gambit and Rogue’s fancy loft Seeing the X-Men party  Silly humor Rogue got her new power inhibitor bracelet THINGS I DIDN’T LOVE: Magneto

I think Kelly has a game plan that is not entirely visible at the moment but I’m ready to dive into whatever it is she has in store for all of us next. 

MMX #7 is out the first week of January!

[smokeybrandreviews]

Birthday Cake

X-Men ’97 is just over the horizon and I am mad hyped about it. I grew up on that show. It was one of the few cartoons which both my mother and I could watch together. I, being an unapologetic Marvel shill, was all over the Mutants while my mom was actually enamored with the narrative. There were a few cartoons from back that that caught her attention. The Maxx, Gargoyles, and Spawn were also favorites. Don’t ask why I was watching HBO’s Spawn as a twelve year old kid. Or reading his comics. Or even buying them.  Look, man, the Nineties were a different time. We drank out of hoses and watched ultraviolent anime because our parents thought they were “just cartoons.” We were feral, latchkey kids, back in my halcyon days. Good times. Tangent aside, X-Men inform a great deal about how I perceived Marvel Merry Mutants. It was my first exposure to characters like Apocalypse and Nimrod. While I had read The Dark Phoenix saga as a youngster, it was this show which adapted it perfectly. Live action is still chasing that high. Not only that, but it launched Marvel’s very first, and wildly successful, connected universe. Without X-Men, we wouldn’t have gotten that just-as-iconic Spider-Man cartoon, or the lesser known but equally excellent Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, and Fantastic Four shows. The Nineties X-Men cartoon was a watershed moment for Marvel and for Millennials as a whole. For us Marvels shills, it rivaled Batman: The Animated Series in popularity. So color me surprised that X-Men ’97 is being colored as controversial.

Out the box, it’s that tired ass argument that X-Men ’97 too woke. Everything is always too woke. What started out as people being frustrated they turned Rogue’s decadent, devil’s food, bunt cakes, into petite, little, tea biscuits, has spiraled into a weird fervor about who’s gay or something-something forced representation. Half-hearted kidding aside, it’s staggering to me that people are actually mad about this stupid sh*t. Do they even know what the f*ck X-Men is about? The entire concept of a marginalized part of the community, fighting just to be seen as human, is literally the wokest sh*t you can ever write and THAT’S the core of the X-Men mythos! The Uncanny X-Men started out as a very heavy handed allegory for the Civil Rights movement and, while this wasn’t Stan Lee’s initial intent, the characters of Professor X and Magneto became stand ins for the ideologies of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. Just, you know, with super powers. The X-Men are the epitome of Woke so to complain about that sh*t seems like you don’t even understand the f*cking point of the narrative. I miss rogue’s big fat ass just as much as the next kid, but you’re f*cking pathetic if you feel some kind of way about Morph being pansexual or non-binary (They literally can change into anything. Like Mystique). There are actual things to be outraged about, like how the creator of this revival is pretty much a scumbag, or how Marvel Studios has been suffering in the writing department for years. That’s where my concern would lie, especially considering how well written the OG show was.

Is this show going to be Woke? Absolutely. That’s the entire goddamn point of the X-Men. It’s the core of who they are. Take that away and what do you have? A bunch of Capes with random f*cking powers who live in the same house. Where’s the hook? Where’s the draw? Where’s the meat? How are they different than the Avengers at that point? The Fantastic Four? The Defenders? It’s that sprinkling of social consciousness which really gets the juices flowing, really revs up those storytelling engines. I mean, tell me how you write something as profound as God Loves, Man Kills, without it being “Woke”? You can’t. That is a gut-punch of a read and it’s pulled right out of today’s headlines, even though it was written forty years ago. The fear-mongering is real, but instead of Nightcrawler, it’s Mexicans. Same goddamn energy, same goddamn racist ass narrative. Even when they are spiraling out into a world of sci-fi, deep space, time travel misadventures, the core of their narrative is how much they are hated. This whole Krakoa saga, some of the best X-Stories told in decades, is coming to a close because of that long held hate and fear. House of M? Role reversal, mutants accepted and humans forced into being second class citizens. Decimation? Wanda kills off the powers to ninety percent of the entire Mutant population. Utopia, Operation: Zero Tolerance, Genosha, the entirety of the Ultimate run: All derivative of that social pressure and general fear toward the different. That’s what makes an X-Men story, and X-Men story. Getting mad about that sh*t after decades of that being a core aspect of their stories, is f*cking dumb. Not as dumb as Marvel excising Rouge’s cheeks, though. Rest in Power, you doubled-up, delicious, pound cakes! You will be missed.

[thumbscrewgaming]

Red Dead Redemption 2 (Hang’em High, real High)

You would be so wrong to turn your back on this spectacular display of game development. The environment, characters, and story work together in a great harmony. It is creations such as Red Dead that keep the mystique of the Wild West alive. I would say it has been such a long time since I played a game with so much heart, but God of War blew everything out of the water not too long ago.

To start, one must return

Red Dead Redemption 2 takes the story of Arthur Morgan a short-ish time before the original story of Red Dead and presents a lively world for him to explore. From mountain campsites to a large port city, Arthur and his band of ruffians are on the adventure of life and of course there are bumps and consequences along the way include plenty of self-reflection.

Arthur’s story will take you counter clockwise around the world map establishing different camp sites as the story progresses. Each new settlement unlocks story and side missions as well as new areas for exploration, but the map is free roam from the start.

Arthur is rough and weathered from time and his style of livelihood. As an outlaw by trade he has cheated, robbed, and killed most of his life, though always leaning toward being a ‘nice guy’ in his life of crime. He has grown-up side by side with other fellow outlaws and created a few unbreakable bonds. His bond with Dutch is one of those ties, but for the first time in their lives it may be starting to fray.

Dutch is in charge plain and simple, and don’t let his lies fool you. He may say he is acting in the best interests of the gang, but that’s bullsh*t. The riff that starts between Arthur and Dutch continuously deepens as the story unfolds putting strains on everyone.

Missions are pretty straight forward for a Rockstar game. Go here and get this, go here and do this, go there and then change course to a new objective, but as always there will be plenty of riding. Oh the fun you’ll have riding uphill, riding downhill, riding through a river, and of course your horse will die while trying to do all those things; a lot. Though I hear players have kept their original horse for some time before sending it to the glue factory.

Duck. Duck. Duck.

Combat revolves around cover. Roaming out in the open will get you killed quickly since Arthur moves like a man with two bowed legs, oh wait! He does! Pistols will be Arthur’s go to, but he’ll lean on his rifles to get out of sticky situations. Dynamite is always great fun, but isn’t practical for most missions. Also, if you remember from the original Red Dead using the headshot trick of flicking upward will be useful as the auto-aim locks onto center mass.

Something that doesn’t help RD2’s perfect score is the amount of enemies that storm down during the story missions. There are too many to enjoy using a strategy, so each shootout becomes a fast paced kill or be killed scenario. It’s also quite difficult to die, so sometimes you feel tank-ish while shooting up a bunch of enemies.

Another small tick on the ole score card would be the lack of imagination with the legendary animals. They are too easily tracked and killed, especially if you are toward the end of the game and have access to the big rifles.

From story based NPCs to random NPCs, the people Arthur encounters enhance the all-around experience. From hermits, gunslingers, poker players, tobacco farmers, scientists, and moonshiners, Arthur will be engrossed by the world around him. Some of the best moments are random encounters that’ll bring Arthur closer and sometimes too close to the people of Red Dead 2.

In the end, Arthur provides a great all-around story and plenty to do in the not so Wild West. You are also treated to a lengthy epilogue that connects the Red Dead’s.

RD2 is a great mix of story, gameplay, and world building that is well worth your time and money. [Red Dead Redemption 2 – A Must Play]

[smokeybrand]

Reap What You Sow

Finally finished Mass Effect Legendary Edition and gearing up for a second run. Before that, though, i wanted to stop and reflect on how well this game holds up, how ell this story is told. I’ve been playing these games since Mass Effect 2 was released on the PS3 over a decade ago and i haven’t regretted even a second of that time spent. I love these games. I loved these titles. And Legendary gave me an opportunity to experience the entire narrative, on one system, with a gorgeous face lift This makes me want Bioware to take another shot at Andromeda because, holy sh*t, can they deliver when they’re not hindered by corporate bullsh*t and it looks like EA is starting to accept that as fact and policy, rather than just the gripes of fans. I love these games and before i get back to it, i wanted to highlight my favorite companions because Mass Effect is nothing without those who run headfirst into the fire with you.

Urdnot Wrex

I hate the first Mass Effect but that’s because i’m a Sony shill so i started wit the best one of the franchise and had to double back. It was a poor experience by comparison but Wrex was f*cking delight. I loved this dude but his time on the throne in 2 and his limited time with the squad in 3 is what that sealed it for me. Uncle Urdnot is a goddamn joy to play with and even more hilarious as an NPC. If you romance Liara, definitely talk to him during the Cure the Genophage mission in 3. You wont regret it.

Aria T’Loak

I’ve been a fan of Aria since the first time she introduced herself in Afterlife. “Don’t f*ck with Aria.” Yeah, she definitely made an impression. Mostly an NPC in the second game, she really came into her in the third. The extended time we spent with her in the Omega DLC was exceptional. I loved that side of her we got to see and, if you play Paragon, you get to see an interesting evolution in her character. Not as dope as getting that awkward kiss at the end but still just as rewarding.

Javik

Good ol’ Prothy the Prothean. I don’t really bring him on missions in 3 but i make sure to check in after every major battle because dude is a f*cking fountain of snark. I do, however, make sure to take him on the Thessia mission because the banter he and Liara have n that temple is very compelling. Their dynamic is one of the highlights in Mass Effect 3 and i absolutely adore that sh*t. It never gets old and it never disappoints. I’ve played this game dozens of times over the years and i have never once deviated from these two, on that mission, since the first time i took them into that battle together. Plus, Javik in the Citadel is a whole ass delight. Make sure to check your bathroom when you wake up the next day. There’s a surprised in there for you!

EDI

EDI is a ray of sunshine in such ire circumstances. Long before she got Eva’s body, EDI was a full member of the Normandy crew. Her banter after becoming unshackled was brilliant in 2 and even more dynamic in 3. Seeing her becoming more and more “alive, over the course of that last title, was a real pleasure and i hated seeing her name on that board at the end. I almost always pick Destruction because that’s the only one where Shepard survives but it’s always a struggle. Me or EDI? My life or Hers? I hate having to make that choice but the time spent with her until that point, is always so much fun.

Urdnot Grunt

Grunt is MY Wrex. He’s the Krogan i was introduced to first and he’s definitely be the one i have the most love toward. I basically raised this dude in-game during 2 and seeing him finally come into his own in 3, is a big moment for those who are as invested in this series as i am. Not only is he an absolute unit on my squad, but the kid is hilarious. Some of the best banter in 3 comes from Grunt and it makes me wish i got to play with him more. Similar to Jack who is definitely going to make an appearance later down this list, you only get fleeting time with him but that time spent hunting Rachni is one of the funniest missions in all of Mass Effect 3.

Miranda Lawson

My darling Cerberus Cheerleader Princess. Miranda is never my first choice on a mission and was, like, my last romance option originally but, upon running threw these titles a decade later, she’s a lot stronger a character than i remember. Seriously, the growth she shows throughout Mass Effect 2 is real and is presented with a proper focus in her driven resolve during her solo mission in 3. Miranda Lawson is one of the most complete, best written characters in the entire franchise and I'm frustrated with myself that it took a whole ass decade to finally see that. Plus, i mean, she got a fat ass, too, so...

Mordin Solus

Listen, I'm going to keep this one short and sweet. Mordin is amazing and if you didn’t feel something when he did what he did in 3, f*ck you.

Kasumi Goto

Oh, Ms. Goto, i do enjoy you so very, very, much. Kasumi is like the mascot of my squad, the ship cat who keeps knocking sh*t of the table. She is an absolute disaster but i still love her anyway. She has some of the best lines in the entire franchise and i dearly missed her snark on my ship in 3. Tat lone mission with the Hanar was not enough time with the galaxy’s best thief but it had to be because Kasumi is nobody’s fool. She was like, “No galactic war with eldritch space horrors for me, sir.” but she made up for it in the Citadel DLC.

Liara T’Soni

Now we’re getting into the meat. Liara is a mainstay in my squad during Mass Effect 3. She is dub overpowered, especially with that Singularity, and i rarely go into a boss fight without it. Beyond her fighting abilities, Liara just has such a sweet relationship with Shepard that spans the entire trilogy. She opted not to be an official part of the team in 2, later taking up the mantle of the Shadow Broker, but more than makes up for that in 3. Liara is a principal character in Mass Effect 3 and her relationship with Shepard in that game, specifically, is fantastic to experience. If you romance her, it’s even more rewarding.

Garrus Vakarian

Garrus is one third of my Death Lineup. He and Tali stay in my squad in 2 and alternate with Liara in 3. Dude is, for lack of a better term, a straight up killer. I’ve only played mShep so i never actually romances Garrus but dude is easily one of the best companions in the entire game. The relation he has with Shepard and the way it develops over those three games, is only topped by one other character and she’s the premier on this list. Garrus is hilarious and a real force in the game but, more than that, he’s arguably Shepards’ best friend and a solid foundation they can rely on as dude shapes the history of an entire galaxy.

Jack

Oh, my darling Jacqueline Night. You were SO close to the top spot on this list and only missed it because you were introduced in the second game. That’s it. Jack is dope, one of the most complete characters in the entire franchise, and definitely a great romance option. I adore this chick for all of the reasons but mostly because of how realized she becomes by the end of 3. Her growth from “Psychotic Biotic” into maternal teacher for a bunch of biotic kids, was a turn i didn’t expect but loved to see. I love Mass Effect 2′s version of Jack, for sure, but her appearance in Mass Effect 3 is head-and-shoulders better than her initial introduction. It hurts we never got to actually got to play with her in an actual fight but her appearances were still outstanding.

Tali’Zorah vas Normandy

Tali is the best f*cking thing about this franchise and I'll fight you to the death over it. Listen, Tali, for me, is best girl, best character, best development, best everything! I adore Tali. She made that first game bearable but really came into her own in the second. By the third, she was the premier supporting character in the entire franchise for me. Literally her and Garrus stay in my party and for good reason. Tali’s romance is so goddamn saccharine that it gave me diabetes but her maturation as that narrative continues is exceptionally written. Being one of two squad mates who has ridden with Shep through the entire trilogy really gives Tali room to grow and it shows. She is the best companion in the game and i almost never leave her behind.

Look, all of the squadmates hold a special place in my heart but these twelve, specifically, always seem to find their way into my onsite shenanigans more often than not. Obviously, just because you didn’t make this list, doesn’t mean you didn’t have your moments and Aria being on here instead of, say, Thane, is not a knock against him at all. Aria was just hilarious and i enjoyed what little time we shared. Everyone on the Normandy is dope and i cannot wait until my next mission to save the galaxy from the Reapers with them. Not Kaidan, though. Never Kaidan. F*ck that guy, specifically.

[oi-trashy-kawa]

Rant (LONG POST)

So, I have a lot of feelings that I will briefly state about the animated movies/ 'live action remakes' nowadays.

I will be using some examples stated by others that I've seen, and I agree with.

So to start off, I would like to say that absolutely no one asked for live action remakes. No one. People have tried to argue that they did this to appeal to kids nowadays having higher standards, but I feel that's bullsh*t, kids literally will watch whatever you bring them up with, it's up to the industry, the parents/guardians/creatures of these shows/movies, it's not up to the kids. I don't think I've ever actually seen a kid prefer reality to fun cartoons.

Cartoon characters are designed to be expresseive, and well thought out. They have their personality, feeling, and more just in their design. If you make them gritty and realistic then you strip that character of any individuality they had to begin with. Cartoon Characters are special in that way, they are drawn to be unique in a way, and taking that away for reality in which we see everyday just makes it so bland. (This is one of the reasons I appreciate the Detective Pikachu movie, though they make them 'realistic' in a way, they kept that cartoony edge, they made them expressive and actually cared about what they were trying to do. They still look like pokemon. )

Remaking the same ol' stories but taking away the fun fantastical visuals and replacing it with things you can see on a documentary is just sad, and I don't believe kids would prefer it if you just showed them the originals.

My second argument is of animated films these days. I'm happy that there are still some good ones (like into the spider verse) but the amount of bad really outweighs the good. I know that even some older movies are bad, I'm not saying that 'oh back in MY day MOvies WEre soooOo GoOd' no, I'm not saying that, but you did see a lot more good then bad. They had heart behind them, they had appealing visuals, they had fun characters and witty comments at times, now you get about ten movies that are pop culture jokes and cardboard cutout characters that are just there to say a few jokes, squish in some last minute lesson and take your money. They have no soul, no creativity. The stories and characters are completely interchangeable. Also I want to use this quote I saw on a post about the 2D animation sketches that were done for frozen. The quote was something like "cgi will always look outdated in a year, but a good drawing stays good." And I completely agree. I'm not saying that 'OH CGI isn't ARt AND people SHOULD ONLY dO Traditional blah blah blah' but I would still love to see 2D be around, and relevant. You just get such an organic feel for the characters when they're drawn out, and it personally inspires me. Again, this point is of my own opinion and it's super suggestive, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who would like to see 2D more often. (And not just cheap flash fart joke '2d')

I love that there are still good things out there but it's sad to see how few there are. And I will never understand the adults who claim that the kids would always prefers crap to thoughtful movies, it's been proven otherwise. Kids are very influenced by the things around them, if you raise them with dumb stuff that's what you'll like, they'll go around making poop jokes and have no emotions behind it, if you actually try to teach your children and choose the media they consume, maybe it wouldn't be like that.

I could go on forever but this is already too long. I apologize for any grammar mistakes.

Again, if you disagree with me, that's totally fine. This is just my thoughts. Have a good day.

[crunchbites-muscle-structure]

no scrubs.

tlc’s “no scrubs” but it’s red vs blue & it’s a shitty wattpad-style fic. pls enjoy. if you don’t you’re a coward and a scrub.

"Tucker... I can't do this anymore." A breeze whipped by and thrust Wash's frosty locks directly into the pupils of shale thunder cement pavement cloud gray eyes, instantly blinding him. "I'm sorry. I love you. But I just can't be with you." Tucker melted into a pool of tears of whiny-bitchness. "WHAHHHHHHHHHHY WASH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME I"M TRY SO HARD MMMMSJAGHHHAGHMMAHDEHH" Wash patted his now ex-boyfriend's head. "I'm sorry... You're just not EdgyTM enough for me. We can still be-" "DON"T SAY FRIENDS YOU COWARD ASS BOTTOM BITCH," Tucker shriekded and whaPOW smacked the shit out Wash's ain't-shit ass. Tucker stormed off. He had given this man SO MUCH OF HIS FECKING TIME just to be PASSED OFF LIKE YESTERDAY'S FECKING LEFTOVERS. Who did Wash think he was, York or some shit? Tucker wasn't to be passed up like that. Uh-huh. No feckin' way, BETCH. He paused in the door. "Oh, and Washyboi?" Wash looked up with his somber Emo Band Frontman Gray Eyes. "Yes, ba- Tucker?" "I'm PREGNENT. It's SIMMONS'." From a distant pizza-scented heartbreak scene: "It's WHO'S? oH, GOD, NOOOO." It sounds orange. Tucker sweeps out of the scene like the bad bitch he is, leaving that ol' aint-shit-ass Freelancer behind. Fuck that mess. Ain't nobody got time for that. Honestly, how the feck do you pair a Lavernius with a David? What kind of white boy bullsh- Wash dissolved in angst and despair. He knew he was just a scrub. It wasn't his fault. Ever since Carolina returned, Wash had been unable to forget his one true love: Dr. Leonard Church.

uwu

Elsewhere, AKA the aforementioned heartbreak scene, Simmons had just woken up from a terrible traumatic nightmare about Grif falling off the cliff. Thank fuck the Meta died, right? No way in hell anyone present at that fight gave a half-shit about that fucking monstrosity. Simmons sighed in relief. All that mattered was that Grif had lived. Ol' nerd-ass maroon duderino hopped out of bed to go lay on his boyfriend, to find Grif had drowned himself in pizza. How? Fuck you and your physics. He just did. Simmons fell to his knees in despair. "NOOOOOOOO-" On the wall he saw it: "I can't believe you M-Pregnated Tucker." Simmons cried because, even now, after all this time- Always- He was just a fuckin' scrub.

uwu

Tex was above everyone else because she KNEW Church was a scrub. I know I just talked about the Meta fight and Tex is canonically dead but fuck you you don't know what the hell time setting is. This could be an AU. It's not. But it could be. It's just fucking canon. Somewhere in another,,,, Tex was reflecting on her own ain't-shit-ass boyfriend, and his ain't-shit-ass original form. They were both ain't-shit-ass. Church, in every iteration, was a goddamn scrub. And Tex was just boss-ass enough to make up for all the ain't-shit-ass Church brought to the relationship. She knew why they lasted. She knew why they made it when Grif and Simmons fell apart because of Simmons being a scrub. She knew why their love was stronger than Tucker and Wash's. It was because her soulmate being a scrub was just some shit she already been knew. It was no shocking revelation, no horrible plot twist, no Wattpad fantasy drama, no telenovela stress scene. It was just a fucking fact that everyone who met Leonard Church was aware of: he was a scrub. Tex loved him anyway. Tex loved him even more because her scrubmate made her look so much more boss-ass in comparison. Fuck you, Leonard Church, she thought, and sighed in contentment. You ain't-shit-ass scrub, I love you so goddamn much.

uwu

Back to the plot, Tucker fell off a cliff or astronomy tower or something else edgy and dramatic because fuck you scrub-ass Wash he IS Edgy-TM. Simmons cried some fucking more because even though he was a hoediddyhoebag he still loved that child. This why you don't do tequila, ladies and gents. Simmons cried to Sarge, "I jahahahust dohohon't u-u-understYAAAAND-" To which Sarge promptly replied, "Get your sorry ass off my steel-toed boots before I crush your thick skull open, Private. You lookin' to get an ass-kickin' this early in the morning?" "Yes, Daddy." "What the chicken FUCK did you just say????" And that's the story of how Richard Simmons died.

uwu

The only people who don't belong in this fucking fic because they are PERFECT and have never loved or been a scrub or Doc and Donut. I would like to take this time to tell you just how perfect they are. But I'm not gonna do that. Figure out your damn self. If you think they're not soulmates, you're wrong. If you think they're scrubs, I'll meet you behind the Denny's and personally explain to you how the fuck hydrogen fusion works on the sun. Does it? No. Nothing works on the sun. And you won't either. You'll just

uwu

Sarge tromped into the room where Wash was still fucking dying in his own ball of emo angst. If this were a My AI(mmortal), Wash would've already done things that would cause me to add trigger-warnings to this fic, which I'm not gonna do because I'm lazy. Deal with it preps uwu Sarge marched right up to that ain't-shit-ass bumblescrub and grabbed him by his bumblescruff. "What in Sam Hill did you do to this place? Grif is dead, Simmons is dead, Tucker threw himself off a cliff-" "he did WHAT?" "He's dead, John." "My name is Da-" "I don't give a freckled ass's shit what your name is, Private. What did you do to my boys?" "I..." He threw a hand over his forehead like the edgy melodramatic shit he is, unaware of the storm he had culled. "I broke up with Tucker." Sarge, on the outside, just seemed like regular Sarge. "And why did you do that?" "Carolina being around... She reminded me of my one true love." Sarge's grip didn't tighten. His visor didn't show the red he saw. "And who would that be, Private?" "I'm not actually-" "AND WHO WOULD THAT BE, PRIVATE?" "Director Leonard Church." Sarge lost all inhibitions. Not another goddamn Church-fucker. The only Church-fucker allowed in this hell-base was Caboose, the one good blue. Sarge's boot met Wash's chest and yeeted him all the way to Denny's, where I waited to explain hydrogen fusion on the Sun. Everything was done. Everything was over. There was one thing left on this hell-base. One. Sarge was no scrub. Sarge was not and never had been in love with a scrub. He was immune to the Curse of the Scrubs, AKA the reason all these whiny bottoms died today. He departed from Wash's death scene to do what he should've done a long time ago. He went to his bedroom. Lopez waited there. And no, it's not what you think. Sarge opened his dresser drawer. "Lopez... I ever tell you about my OTP?" "No." Sarge removed them from the drawer and brought the gift to his robo-son. "Well, son, it's time you learned. I made you, and that makes me God, of everything but the Blues. Those were produced by the Devil. And these- these were made for you. That makes them your soulmate." In Spanish, Lopez said something like, "Please don't." Sarge chuckled. "You're welcome, son." And he placed the cat ears on Lopez. It was done. Everything. It was the end. Sarge's OTP, at last, was canon.

[oleslugbones]

I posted 7 times in 2021

4 posts created (57%)

3 posts reblogged (43%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.8 posts.

I added 11 tags in 2021

#loki - 2 posts

#please get therapy - 1 posts

#but no one ever calls those dudes fake geek boys - 1 posts

#sludge man - 1 posts

#star trek - 1 posts

#star trek next gen - 1 posts

#ole slug bones speaks - 1 posts

#the tva - 1 posts

#infinity stones don’t matter lol - 1 posts

#fake geek girls - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#i remember reading a story about a cosplayer who made guys tell her who she was before she would take a photo with them

My Top Posts in 2021

#4

Loki fans are again mad annoying. Y’all were all like “THIS SHOW DOES HIM JUSTICE YES ITS GOOD WRITING FOR ONCE” but then something happens that you don’t like it’s back to “This trashed his entire character and ruined him, this isn’t our precious baby loki” like just admit you’re far too attached to a character and you’ve just taken the idea of him and ran with it, now you’re sad and heartbroken that the actual character doesn’t line up with what you have in your head

0 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 19:52:14 GMT

#3

Being outraged about the infinity stones being used as paperweights is such a uniquely human thing to be mad about, like the TVA exists somewhere outside of time and monitors timelines, of course objects that are important to us aren’t important to them. You really think those infinity stones mattered to anyone besides people in that timeline?? think bigger dude, always bigger fish, always

0 notes • Posted 2021-07-08 17:21:36 GMT

#2

Loki stans are really starting to concern me like this morning i read an ask from someone about how they’re so distraught over how Loki’s being treated by the fandom and all this other stuff related to the character and show that they’re considering checking themselves into a mental hospital like ??? Y’all need help, if you get to the point where you’re genuinely getting so upset over a fictional character you’re THINKING about getting help, you should go ahead and do it. The Loki fandom is absolutely batsh-t insane, some of yall will sit there and write ted talks about how Loki is just misunderstood and should be babied despite the fact that the first thing he did in his 20 seconds on earth was try to commit mass murder but then turn around and say Captain America is a Nazi Sympathizer despite the fact that he was written by two jewish men who felt helpless during ww2, this isnt even an exaggeration, i genuinely watched one blog do this exact thing, back to back posts with those exact topics. Y’all‘ve lost your minds. Please Get Therapy, It’s Not Healthy To Be This Distraught Over A Character.

0 notes • Posted 2021-07-08 16:43:28 GMT

#1

Saw some dudes calling Black Widow “feminist bullsh-t“ and that marvel is pandering and i’ve never been so annoyed. Fake Geek Guys really harsh my mellow, they’ll sit there and check credentials and if you can’t name every comic book artist’s blood type, birthday, and when they started their career, they’ll call you a fake geek girl and tell you comic books aren’t for you but as soon as something comes out that doesn’t have a white man as the protagonist, suddenly it’s pandering and all this other bullshit, just admit you have a superiority complex and leave. Nobody wants to see your greasy pizza face around here. Black Widow was first introduced a year after the Avengers. I Will Eat You Alive If You Disrespect Her Again.

4 notes • Posted 2021-07-08 17:11:12 GMT

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