#SocialExpectations

[girltalkcollectives]

Why ‘You Should Smile More’ Needs to Stop

As women, we’ve all heard it before: “You should smile more.” It’s one of those phrases that seems harmless on the surface, but for many of us, it’s actually frustrating, condescending, and just plain exhausting. It’s as if there’s this unspoken expectation that women should always be cheerful and approachable, like our purpose is to make others feel comfortable, regardless of how we feel. So, let’s talk about why it’s time to retire this phrase.

For starters, asking someone to “smile more” assumes we owe others our positivity, whether we’re in the mood or not. Maybe you’re just focused, maybe you’ve had a tough day, or maybe your face is just relaxed—whatever the reason, your expression doesn’t need to be “fixed.” Being told to smile more can make us feel like our worth is tied to how pleasant we look to others. But the truth is, we’re allowed to feel, express, or not express whatever we want. Smiling should be something we do because we’re genuinely happy, not because we’re pressured into it by people who think our “real” faces aren’t inviting enough.

And let’s be honest—no one says this to men in the same way. If a guy looks serious or neutral, he’s seen as focused or strong. But when a woman does the same, she’s often judged as cold, unfriendly, or even unapproachable. This double standard creates a constant pressure for women to be emotionally available, even when they don’t feel like it. We’re not here to perform cheerfulness on demand. We have real emotions, real experiences, and a right to display them—or not—however we choose.

What would be even better than “you should smile more”? Let’s just let each other be. Instead of expecting constant positivity, we could focus on supporting and respecting how people show up in the moment. No one should feel pressured to change how they feel for someone else’s comfort. Smiling should be a genuine reflection of happiness or kindness—not an expectation, and definitely not a command.

[jessejunkocreates]

Are you a #HeartLed woman who wants to make a difference, if even a small one? Are you ready to shake off the #COVIDfunk and #socialexpectations? Are you ready to ditch #anxiety and get back out in the world? Have you changed over the past few years or have you longed for #PersonalGrowth? Do you want to be seen for who you truly are inside? Then listen, we’ve got it backwards … it isn’t rise and shine, it’s #ShineAndRise. To step into our higher abilities to impact our own lives and others positively first we have to learn how to shine our unique light. To be able to #ShineToRise is a more authentic success strategy based on who you are at your core. We’ve been living in an overloaded masculine leadership style where we first must rise to greatness to be rewarded with the spotlight. Personally, I see that as a #leadershipStrategy that just doesn’t serve most of us. As an award winning #FashionDesigner and #SpiritStyleGuide I know the power of tapping into deeply #PersonalStyle as the ultimate #lifehack because I help my Clients use it as a communication tool and healing modality. I’m offering a FREE #StyleConfidenceChallenge that will help you align, define and shine, to attract the RIGHT attention, opportunities, collaborators and clients —in just 5 days. Sign on today for some bonus secret sauce and #integration tips! My #ShineAndRiseChallenge Early Access is open - got to link in bio now! #feminineleadership #empath #emotionalhealer #confidencestylist #confidenceboost #peoplepower #girlpower #highlysensitive #sensitive #intuitive (at Themis and Thread) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqWZg9CJwvu/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[gloriawriteshere]

Six Years of Living in the Past

Days of old, life in the 1950’s/60’s, #repressed #sexuality, religious disagreements, politics, crime, #socialexpectations. @GloriaMcB

The day that I get to write a blog post about my published novel ‘Secrets in the Babby House’, has finally arrived. In 2016 I took pen to paper and started putting together ideas I had for a book. Little notes here and there developed into pages and pages of babble and unrealistic scenarios. Eventually, things started to take shape and I wrote my first draft during NanoWriMo that same year.…

[tinyeyescomics]

"What do you want to be when you grow up" is a question often loaded with expectations from adults. The question forces kids to define themselves in narrow and fixed categories (often in terms of professions), and it gives the impression that finding one's calling is something natural and effortless. I used to think that people are born to fit into some pre-existing models and titles. If I could go back to my younger self, I would told her that: - Self-discovery is a life-long journey, and it’s ok not knowing what to do. - You weren’t born to be someone. You have become someone. - You cannot copy the path of another person, but you can get inspired and create your own. - What you want will change over time. - You don’t have to be one thing. You can be many things at one time. What is your self-discovery journey like? #selfdiscoveryjourney #becoming #whatdoyouwanttobewhenyougrowup #socialexpectations #chineselife #chineseculture #sliceoflife #tinyeyescomics https://www.instagram.com/p/CEwc3VLCbC9/?igshid=14k9gcygdzssr

[carolinacarmen]

things i don’t understand

when i was younger i would give advice. even when I wasn’t asked! i thought i had it figured out (lol) i learned later to shut my mouth, listen

it’s okay to respond with silence when there’s nothing comforting to say

i didn’t really know

 much even though i thought i did

this is not to say that we must not be confident in what we know,

portraying yourself to be confident in your intelligence  enables others to believe you are intelligent. even when you aren’t.  some people we think are intelligent aren’t, but! they are confident when they speak so they are. intelligent. by our perception.

some of us  become fixated on things that bre ak us.

sometimes when people are unhappy they enter imaginary competitions

how instead of going inside some choose to

project

               outwards.

people expect me to keep my dress clean but i don’t mind ruining replaceable things (?)

[casualeclectica]

Its really sad that our culture has gotten to a point where a compliment I get is "It's nice to be able to hang out with a guy that actually wants to be friends and doesn't hit on me." Like...I don't understand why this isn't social default... #demisexual #socialexpectations #decency #friends #notintohookupculture #hangoutmeanshangout (at Eau Claire, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/B41briAl_pM/?igshid=1jhz808dckjtp

[photographermondo]

Created something awesome w/ @roarie_yum, amazing #model #artmodel #androgony #artphotography #artportrait #blue #flowers #gender #socialexpectations #beauty #studiolighting ©Mondo Art Photography (at Arizona) https://www.instagram.com/p/B14m1WSHLIa/?igshid=1iq5meeqod4ho

[voiceofanoutlier]

The fruits of freedom

The fruits of freedom

Freedom is the first tree in the garden of life and the only tree in this garden that had never bore a bad fruit, which bears the fruits of self-truth, self-love, self joy, and all the richness of being alive. This richness is not the same as material richness; there are two kinds of richness in life, the richness of things, and the richness of being. But we are more inclined to appreciate the…

[jabeanies]

For the past 7 months I've been unemployed and truth to be told it has been the most productive 7 months of my life. Not only have I focused more on my studies but I have bettered my mental health and my physical health. I've removed toxic foods, habits and people from my life. I've come closer to my Creator and to my community. I've watched life come into this world as well as life leaving this world. I've rekindled broken friendships and relationships. It took a lot of courage and trust in Allah to leave my job . As a young adult fresh out of college many of you understand the struggle of finding a good job especially in a ever so demanding world. For many of a good job, career , salaries indicate our level of success and accomplishment. But in the past 7 months I've realized that a job title and salary will never implicate my success but rather who I am as a human being and what I do to change the world is the only implication of success. What's the point of a degree if it only serves your ego ? These 7 seven months have taught me to set aside the social concepts of accomplishment. They've made me realize that true success is found in serving others rather than fulfilling social expectations. . . #quityourjob #successfulwomen #success #socialexpectations #changetheworld #healtheworld #change #serve #humanity #unemployed #graduateschoolproblems #confidence #photooftheday #reality (at Hudson, New York)

[stannamarsh]

#yo #intjwisdom #socialexpectations (at Iowa City, Iowa)

[surveycircle]

New on my Pinterest: New Studies @SurveyCircle https://srvy.cl/2F2FfkG : Participants needed for online survey! Topic: "Men's opinions on masculinity and social expectations applied to them" https://srvy.cl/2Z84cRp via @SurveyCircle #masculinity #SocialExpectations #men #SocialPsychology #gender #expectations #survey #surveycircle https://srvy.cl/2wv1Qjd #SurveyCircle #Research #Survey #Study #CallForParticipants #Participants #Respondents | Participate now: https://srvy.cl/2Klbs8g

[vanna-beezy-blog]

@ginger_slut_ #socialconstruct #socialexpectations #virginity #feminism

[waheyitsem]

Every mirror needs this

[surveycircle]

Participants needed for online survey! Topic: "Men's opinions on masculinity and social expectations applied to them" https://t.co/j2w2CjPFtb via @SurveyCircle#masculinity #SocialExpectations #men #SocialPsychology #gender #expectations #survey #surveycircle pic.twitter.com/wfIlHyXbht

— Daily Research (@daily_research) June 3, 2019

[erinchantalle]

How I feel everyday

[mystshadow]

The questions in turning 24

When I turned 24, there seemed to be a sudden shift in the air, a change so subtle that I didn’t actually notice that it had occurred. In actual fact, this was because I was not the one in whom the change had occurred. Instead, it seemed that I was unconsciously sending off some sort of energy wave that was affecting all those around me.

At 24, something in me must have changed, because people began looking at me differently. They would judge me, analyse me, and finally make their conclusions about me, all without ever broaching the subject of their thoughts with me. It was with these conclusions that people would approach me, take me aside, and with the most earnest expressions on their faces, they would always ask me the same questions…

   “Why are you still single?”

“Why aren’t you in a relationship?”

“Why aren’t you looking for a partner?”

“Why aren’t you trying?”

Such strange questions! The first time I heard them, I was completely caught off guard. Was there a rule about turning 24 that I hadn’t heard about before? That if by 24 you don’t have a partner of some kind you’re failing as a human being? I was confused to say the least. Still, I did try to explain to everyone who questioned me that I wasn’t interested in having a partner, not really. Oh, I had casual little daydreams sometimes, about having a loving partner, and all the wonderful things we’d do together, but I’d never been interested in making that reality.

Apparently though, this viewpoint is not acceptable for a 24 year old, especially a female one!  I must have missed the manual arriving in the mail, because I never learned that at 24, your biological clock is ticking away… and this should concern me. Of course, protesting a complete lack of desire for children is one of the biggest taboos for a female of breeding age (or at least, I can only assume this is fact due to the reactions this statement garners).

Eventually, with the pressure on all sides growing, the constant pointed comments, the stares and the whispers, I finally caved in. Yes that’s right, I joined a dating website. I thought it ridiculously expensive for something that I didn’t want, but I figured it would be a small price to pay if it meant that I could stop hearing about how it wasn’t “right” for someone my age to be single (everyone always seemed to ignore the fact that I was also uninterested, is this also a side effect of turning 24?).

The ridiculous lengths I had to go through to get my profile set up were beyond tedious. It took me hours to finish, because there’s no point doing something lazily, even if you’re not really interested in doing it. So I finished my profile and waited. Sure enough, a few days later I receive signs of interest. I glance over the profiles and despite a distinct lack of true interest, I respond, telling myself all the while “this is what people say I should do”.

To cut a long story short, I spent 12 months on that dating website. That’s 12 months of answering questions, of grumbling about having to send emails and having no clue what to say in them, of wishing I was actually interested in this, and of being annoyed that I’d been pressured into this, all because people believed that at 24, I shouldn’t be single. However, 12 months of communicating with numerous possible partners, and even actually meeting a few, have taught me one very certain thing.

I’m still not interested.

At all.

Oh I still have my fantasies, but that’s all they are… fantasy. I’m not interested in making those things a reality. I’m not interested in romance or closeness to another person or any of the things that people say I should be. I don’t feel as though I need them in my life. I have my friends and my family, and I have never felt there was anything lacking in the picture. (Except perhaps being a billionaire, but we’re not talking about that.) I’m content, if not happy. Yet here I stand now at 25, a whole year later, and I am still hearing those things that I honestly do not want to hear.

“You’re 25, you should have a long term partner.”

“You’re getting older, better get someone fast.”

“How can you still be single?”

“Are you even trying to find someone?”

“All your friends are getting married.”

It seems I must have crossed some invisible line at 24, but I clearly missed out on the info pack that explained what I should be doing when I crossed that line. Yet, having missed out on the info pack, I still find myself quite content living as I am. I don’t have to worry about pleasing another person, or about how my interests might clash with their interests, or worry about arguments or who gets to watch what, or why I want to be left alone when I’m reading. I can sink into my silent cocoon at the end of the day and not have to force myself to be polite when I just want to be alone.

At 24, I crossed an invisible line, but at 25, I saw the line as I crossed it. It was that line that had me closing my dating website account. It had me turning down offers of dates with a polite, but firm, negative. That visible line, had me standing straight and announcing to everyone that questioned me that I was happy as I was and I was not going to date any longer, especially since I’d only been doing it to please them, and not myself. Most importantly though, since crossing that visible line, I’ve also gotten a lot better at telling those people with the questions the answers that they don’t want to hear.

“No, I’m not interested in dating.”

“No, I don’t want a partner.”

“Yes , I’m happy being single.”

“No, I don’t need another person there to make me happy.”

“No, I don’t want children.”

“I am not my friends, they may want to get married but I don’t.”

It took me a whole year, but I’m finally at a point where I can look someone in the eyes and say, “thanks, but I’m not interested in dating, romance, sex or relationships, and I don’t care what that makes me.”

(Celebrities and characters don’t count)