#Social Sucide

[alice-in-her-world]

I miss you, and I wish I could tell you that.

[poop-everyday]

[jarsarahere]

I'm depressed and I'm anxious, I can't live life normally. I am overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. I can't sit alone or by myself for too long or I think about how lonely I am and I begin to spiral. I cannot function or do daily tasks it's exhausting. My life is being run by fear. I don't know how to confront that, I'm scared to. I have had an increase in suicidal thoughts. I feel useless and lonely. I don't do anything with my days, because I'm scared to leave the house alone. I cannot live. Everything is grey and my chest feels tight.

[xxrougefangxx]

I hate myself. A lot.

I’m not a good student, I’m the eldest of my family but I can’t do anything right. I’m a failure who’s using their parents money up when it could be going to my sibling instead. My parents care so much for me, they support me in every hobby I want to pursue. But I can’t ever seem to accomplish it correctly.

My close friend knows bout my situation. She said I can always ask her for help. But I don’t want to burden her when she’s going through her own fair amount of problems. We have a lot in common and yet I’m the only one crying about my life while she’s out there moving forward.

If I tell my parents about this they’ll tell me that I’m pulling the victim card. At this point I don’t know if I actually am doing this for attention or it’s real. I want to end it all rn but I also don’t. I I don’t know what to do. I’m scared. I just want to rest. I can’t do it anymore

[zaneaquaman]

The Child Who Cried Wolf - Posted!

On my Patreon and Ko-fi, I have a tier that costs only $1/month to get access to exclusive poems and writings based on the topic of mental health. More importantly, though, I offer one-on-one communication with you to offer support, advice, or just someone to listen to whatever is going on in your life. My goal is to create a safe space where people can discuss mental illnesses and connect with one another. You are not alone in your struggles. I'm here to listen any time.

[fuckthissht]

Me quiero matar

Y no sé como decirtelo, porque lo siento muy real.

Y no quiero que te preocupes por mi estupidez mental.

Por eso, prefiero escribirlo acá...

creo que ahora es cierto, prefiero no molestar simplemente

me quiero matar

[syndesinae]

i want all my romance repulsed brethren to know i am just as annoyed with alloros as you i swear.

[aidsyouinthinking]

Another in bed crisis.

I fail my senses:

All I hear is filtered close as not to wreak my mind,

All I smell is my stench for self-love I mustn't find,

All I see ripples, I can't think still and find landmark,

All I speak are twisted thorns turned raft to disembark,

My senses fail me:

I grant my modus operandi,

Forces me through ocean laced with fog.

But if it's to be, then why at all,

I can be a husk with red-tinged smog!

Badge of acknowledgment:

I shall peal my ears from their head, let it;

Tear, rend, and pull my cannels' flesh with it,

Let my slick red temporal bone expose.

Anxiety chokes as I now repose.

I take a grater to my nose, let it;

Scrape and flake, chiseling bone with it,

Let it smell iron with hints of marrow.

Anxiety's squeezed; its options narrow.

I grow my nails, their all I see, commit;

Scratch and crane out parasitic misfit,

Let me fail, I'll scrape layer by layer.

My anxiety on knees in prayer.

My fingers follow the tears I swallow,

Grasping jaw I wrench, my meaty soup drench-

Let chance I smile wrong; sink: where it belong,

Noose pull taught anxiety brought along.

The sinking Truth:

And now I am what weary people see,

And I can't trick those who think they like me,

As I am now what I always will be:

Dysfunctional cancerous enigma;

Pile of wires embodies self-stigma.

Tsunami in caves below, emanates out:

I lay in bed, half lucid state,

Subconscious whispers denied fate,

I clutch my chest, breath in a race,

Emotions faster they outpace,

Feeling echos, from the ocean red,

Throttles me with laughter from dread.

I bellow and cackle perpetually,

Each aberrant thought, backed by a plea.

The people that're close, don't laugh nor hear me,

Inciting further, to new degree:

Exasperated hysteric ironically-jovial shriek;

If it were backed by joy, no one would think to seek better life's peek.

This could've kept going, I could've ate my tongue,

But in between the shrill stalling, I'd curl and bawl,

Mouth free I mutter making attempts to expunge,

The negative thoughts, with metaphorical brawl:

I...

I do good.

I do...

I do good...

It's okay, it's gonna be okay.

This pain, this self hatred, it's part of the process; Dunning Kruger effect baby…

You need to know you are loved, you are admired, looked up too… There are people who want to be more like you, and you can believe it, of course you can.

You're doing it, you do good, even when you're not doing good yourself. Okay? Now go to sleep, rest now buddy, those people I mentioned, they are waiting for you tomorrow, and every day after.

[alice-in-her-world]

I hate everyone who says “You need a better outlook on life” to someone who has mental illness. A “better outlook” isn’t going to fix the chemical imbalances in my brain. A “better outlook” isn’t going to calm my mind when i’m having a panic attack. Anxiety and depression are real things real people go through. Your “better attitude” speech is fuck all. Anxiety and depression is not the romanticized movie you watched. They are not just being sad and nervous. They are crippling. They take your whole day, week, and life from you. They are ruining my life and a “better outlook” isn’t going to fix them. Thanks for coming to my ted talk ✌🏽

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

do you have any opinions on the hazbin critical and vivziepop critical tags?

tw // mentions of sexual abuse and sucide

I have a personal beef with them. And not because I love Hazbin and Vivzie so much but for more presonal reasons so the following opinion won't be measured at all.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are some legit criticisms out there. Like, the show could definitely do better with body diversity and giving us more varied sapphic relationships instead of just throwing a ton of male/male couples at us. And, yeah, Vivzie's response to some of the criticism has been... questionable. (I still cringe when I think about that one time she explained that Raphielle can ship ValAngel because they are sa survivor, but Raphielle explicitly admitted to not be one).

But then, there's stuff that's just... pulled out of nowhere. Like the whole thing about Valentino being a "fetish character." Come on, the world of villains is filled with queer, flamboyant baddies. What sets Valentino apart is how his abusive behavior is shown in the open, making us rethink our love for villains. If it weren't for Mascarade, people would worship this moth daddy gangster in a dress, much like they are with Vox now. It's hard to root for the bad guy when you see the fallout of their actions. Like, Loki committed war crimes and no one was outraged when he got his own TV series and dragged creators for supporting atrocities.

Constant Valentino/Angel Dust discourse actually leads to the more serious issues I have with this "community", more harmful than just "bad media literacy" like the way they handle the topic of sexual abuse and weaponize it, without ever listening to victims. There is this constant shitstorm about Angel being a "bad sa survivor rep," that the way he's written is insensitive because "he shouldn't be horny, he's sexually traumatized." Like, do these people not understand that making Angel unable to enjoy his sexuality the way he wants would essentially mean acknowledging that it's no longer his but belongs to his abuser now? Also, the argument I keep seeing that drives me BAT SHIT CRAZY aka "I can enjoy this media that is centered around murderer, you cannot enjoy the media that treats rapist as a nuanced character because rape is objectively worse than murder." WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT? Reading this makes me feel so angry and sad and guilty because frankly, I was raped, and of course, it was horrible but still I'd choose it any time over being murdered. Because I have my life, I'm loved, and I love, I pursue my dreams, and I can still experience so many good things in my life. Painting sexual assault as this worse-than-death experience is not the feminist take they think it is and does not do victims any good.

Or accusations that Vivzie's support of fandom bullying led to someone taking their life. It's such a ridiculous and harmful claim. Honestly, this thing always makes me heated because suicide is not an easy decision, ask any person who ever faced it. It's not like "ah, this stranger told me to kms, I guess I gotta do it now." Of course, any kind of bullying and abuse adds to the suffering and can be the final trigger, but to me, it's just so disrespectful and harmful that someone could have experienced prolonged, intense suffering and all of this is omitted, their death labeled as a result of "fandom bullying" and weaponized in fandom drama. Also, it's simply cruel to put the blame for it on one, uninvolved person.

Also, it always annoys me when people hold small creators to immensely high standards while not doing the same with others. If we keep lynching and canceling every media that is not objectively morally pure, we won't be left with only perfect media. We will be left with media produced by white, privileged billionaires who might be real-life rapists, abusers, and thieves but are too powerful to be taken down by social media outrage. Hazbin's success is a major W for the underappreciated medium of animation (we saw what WB did to 90% of their animated shows), unpopular genres like musicals (Wonka creators were literally too ashamed to market it as one??), and unapologetic queer narratives that are not written for a heteronormative audience or centered around queer oppression (ofmd, the other medium I can think of in that realm has just been canceled). I can't stand people so desperate to put it down driven by their black-or-white sense of morality. Kant won't be patting your back for being the Moraliest Person because you bullied an indie creator and her fans.

Also everyone who feels the need to explain me hazbin critical agenda - save your breath. I'm very emotional about it and I frankly don't fucking care why you think you are right.

[poop-everyday]

Don't know what I feel but it doesn't feel good.

I don't want to live like a corpse

[she-is-ovarit]

The assertions of, "If you are not posting just as much about X group as you are Y group, then you aren't coming from a feminist perspective" is an inappropriate form of controlling behavior and simply not coming from a feminist angle, period.

Anyone is welcome to post about as much or as little about a conflict, topic, group, etc. as they please. We can only be accountable for what we shed awareness on or what captures our interest and how often we discuss a topic. You are not responsible for what people do or do not post, or how frequently they post about it.

Creating a culture and climate on a social media platform filled with teenagers already subjected to social pressure from peer groups in which everybody needs to be meticulous about posting the exact same amount on the harms done to one group of people as well as the other is unhealthy and rooted in social cout. It shifts the intention from genuine care about an issue or learning more about a subject to a bunch of teenagers and young adults feeling about how often they do or don't post shit and is a performitive form of social justice.

And it's both a form of fallacy and an impossible standard to hold people to. Why are you all not focusing on the mass genocide and rape of Ughigur Muslim women in China going on right now? They are being paired with Chinese men by the Chinese government to be raped. Do you not care? Are they not as important to you as Israeli and Palestinian women? And what about the Ukranian women? You are not currently posting about them as much as you are about the Israeli and/or Palestinian victims despite the Russian invasion still occurring.

When a certain issue, event, or conflict captures our focus it does not mean we lose compassion for other populations. When I see a woman posting frequently about male violence done to Israeli women, this information tells me she is currently holding Israeli women in her mind and that the violence this group of women are experiencing has piqued her focus—it does not tell me she hates Palestinian women or does not care for them. I feel the same when I see users posting about the violence done to Palestinian women and not as much about Israeli women. I do not hold it against them for electing to not concentrate on Israeli women too.

For those of you who are attempting to practice a female-centered perspective, defending one group of males as either better adjusted or more oppressed than the other is not coming from a female-centric place. IDF soldiers have done horrible forms of sexual violence to Israeli women and the Israel state has sterilized female Jewish immigrants. Palestinian men are driving Palestinian women to sucide—the Palestinian women are stating they aren't able to wait around for liberation. Source. The female-centric perspective is that women and children experience horribly depraved forms of violence by men, especially during times of war when rules are off the table.

[jarsarahere]

Ive been so secluded I can’t think about a life outside of my bedroom without having a panic attack. Going to the grocery store alone is my worst nightmare i would genuinely break down and cry before i even got there. I cant function in society. I dont know what to do sometimes i think killing myself would just be easier.

[xxrougefangxx]

The urge to shake child me and tell her that I'll make it. I'll live longer than I thought I would. I passed the set death day I set for myself. I got better friends, people who actually care about me. people I can have fun with. I got myself out of that house and yeah its a bit scary but its worth it. I don't need to worry if im being quiet enough or a good daughter- I should be worrying about picking between two different ice cream flavors. I got into a great uni and the future- well it doesn't look bright....but it's better than 5 or 8 years ago.

I made it.

[tortured-writers-parttime-poets]

police izuku au

i dunno how i didnt think of this before bc i actually love reading fics of this au

this is gonna be a bit unorganized because its straight from my notes app but oh well

-izuku being one of the youngest graduates of the police academy/helping out so much at the station that they just go 'fuck it' abd give him a license

-IZUKU WITH GUNS !!!

-he also does part time detective work because his analysis is unmatched

-he has degrees in psychology, criminology, social work, and he's a licensed EMT + his detective/police shit

-everyone knows him in the station, and so do heroes that frequent there like eraserhead

-hes basically naomasa's son

-he has coffee+smoking addictions but hes stoll the sunshine boy of the police

-though once or twice they've seen him get real mad on the field and the officers that witnessed it are vaguely terrified of him

-but he's still baby

-martial arts !!!! his local dojo is his third home, only behind the station and his shitty but cozy apartment. 

-he's been doing minor detective work since he was fourteen, at fic time he's like 16 and also managed to stop the war by predicting attacks and arresting/saving and rehabilitating the league and shooting afo through the head.

-the hero students know of and have seen him at this point but havent spoken to him

-they just kind of see him popping up everywhere and hanging around crime scenes and periodically annoying tsukauchi and eraser because he's a chaotic neutral gremlin

-he would be chaotic lawful but he's only lawful where the law can see

-He should have never met nedzu.

-he's chaotic neutral because while he is technically a Good Guy, he does chaotic (illegal)shit when he wants where he wants because he wants to and has no survival instincts

-he's lowkey kind of depressed/suicidal

-hes also on anxiety meds which tend to ramp up the sucidal thoughts for some fucking reason

-so thats why he isnt a jittering ball of nerves, stuttering and other cringe shit

-also because he got that shit beat of out him like he's hella traumatized

-also kinda psychotic but its cool

-he laughed in bakugous face once

-legit looked down at him(cuz i made izu tall), smirked, snorted, and burst out laughibg while bakugou was threatening him.

-"id say im sorry but im not, its just hard to take you seriously when i have to crane my neck to look down at you-" then turned around and walked away towards the detective, still giggling

-bakugou was so stunned he didnt go after him.

-HE HAS A MULLET !!! ITS  NOT SUPER NOTICEABLE BUT ITS THERE

-he also has his ears pierced, 

-the earing on his left ear is one he had custom made from a piece of his jawbone he had to get removed after he got fucked up on the field one time

-its sick as fuck and he'll tell the story to whoever asks, its not a sensitive thing

-his jaw is a bit crooked too like u can see where the chunk is missing

-not super noticeable but still there

-he's like 6'2, so noticeably much taller than naomasa, but the detective still likes to ruffle his hair, even though he has to reach up now. 

-sometimes he looks at him and sighs, grumbling about how his son is all grown up now

-1A and 1B  are 2A and 2B at fic time, and simce the war never happened (for them), they are significantly less traumatized

-izuku however was at the frontlines when they went in for the final takedown of the league,

-so he's traumatized enough for all of them.

-he's covered in scars from knives, bullets, claws, SH, etc etc

-he's also ripped

-gotta be for the police work

-not like aizawa ripped but if he rolled up the sleeves on a button up and crossed his arms the seams of the shirt would be straining.

-one time he was in one of those tight sleeveless shirts that have bare hips (yk the ones whore) and he got called in so he didnt change and everyone got a good look at all the muscles and scars 

(//👁️////👁️//)

-the UA students were there too because he was called in (optionally) to help with training shit and he just didnt bother to change 

-they were simpin fr

-he's aroace tho <333 (projecting) 

-tsuki tossed him a double thigh holster 4 knives which made his baggy cargo pants a bit less baggy and a bit more *cough* defined (cue more student simping)

-he's completely unaware of the effect hes having on them btw

-and fingerless gloves with padded+built in brass knuckles!!! he already had those on tho

-hes just funky like that

[fuckthissht]

Estoy volviendo a tener ese pensamiento.

El tabú que guardo en el fondo de mi cajón, cada vez más recurrente.

El monstruo comienza a habitarme, primero los recuerdos felices, despues la tristeza, dejandome vacia...igual que antes.