#Sober For Good

[remembertheplunge]

The life span of a homeless person is 30 years less than that of a homed person

May 29, 2017.  11:01pm. Labor Day, Memorial Day, whatever day…

Wonderful meeting with Gary at Dale Road Mc Donalds tonight. He’s actually quite handsome—Big Build—young guy—maybe 30.

Very deep, kind sincere man.

Very tired and worn down.

He’s used to sleeping outside. No TV. “If all this wasn’t here, we’d all be sleeping outside” Gary said, meaning the town’s houses and businesses. He then asked “What will be here in a million years?”

He had a beer today to cut his methamphetamine cravings. I gave him a copy of Sober For Good. I gave him a bag with 3 pairs of socks I told him that I’m glad that he texts me . Few other (homeless people) have.He said that God sent me. He asked God over and over “Why is Lew in my life?” Meaning “it’s great that you, God. sent him".

I told him that I love talking with him.

End of entry

June 3, 2017 Saturday 9:13 pm

Great day—

I met Michael and Martin. 

Michael was shirtless. He was ripping up the trash can in front not Demples’s looking for food. He had a sign asking for help by the Star Buck’s drive way. He was a skate board break dancer. He was  also a gold miner I think. He was middle eastern, muscular and lean. He asked “I have no family. Has that happened to you?"

Martin’s son was killed and after that, he couldn’t work. He was devastated. He’s got support—his Grandfather pulled up as we left my car. They had a tail gate service. He met with his wife there to do a bible study.

End of entry

Notes 1/3/2025

In 2017, I had many interactions with the homeless in 2017. I called these interactions “encounters”. I would pack Trader Joe reusable shopping bags with food, socks and toiletries and pass them out. If the bag was accepted, the homeless person would always thank me. Sometimes without a word. They had the power. They healed me.

I must have met Gary prior to the meeting by Mc Donalds in Modesto, California since I said that he had sent me a text.

Sober For Good is a great book about getting sober off alcohol. It holds that there are as many ways to get Sober as there are people. 

Demples was a great retro video and CD store in Sacramento across the street from the Tower Theater in Land Park area. Demples has since gone out of business. 

I heard on KPFA radio today that the life span of a homeless person is 30 years less than that of a homed person.

[inkskinned]

actually sometimes being neurodivergent is great bc you have a particular kind of Silly Mode that just . manifests glory. harmless fun is my precious side quest & i have a high score in whimsy. like okay if i gotta be the first dork in the dance pit it's gonna be me and this random toddler and we're gonna avril-style rock ouuuuttt

[stealingyourbones]

Out of all of the people The Ghost King Phantom expected to relate to, it definitely wasn’t the scrawny red headed photographer of the Daily Planet. Jimmy Olsen has gotten so many temporary superpowers over his time being Superman’s friend. Hell, he once gained a 4th dimensional being’s reality warping abilities when he was given said dimensional being’s powers during a fight. Sure there’s a dozen or so heroes with the same amount of powers he has, but none as suddenly granted to them as a all powerful god that can relate to a teenager.

[fernisfat]

i got super stoned last night and ate so much i woke up still bloated 🙈

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Guys, hang on.

What if........ Emma-may... Southern Black Woman.......... Guys.... Think about it, that's all I ask 🙏🙏

[destielmemenews]

"The "Spider-Man" movie star launched BERO on Wednesday and said in a press release, "For me, BERO is personal. After two years on my sobriety journey, I wanted to create something that reflected my lifestyle and values."

Holland said in the annoucement, "This beer isn't just for those on a similar path, but for everyone who appreciates quality, craftsmanship and living life to the fullest. BERO delivers the taste and experience of a great brew, and never asks you to settle for less.""

source 1

source 2

source 3

[kyoobie]

The pool scene™️ but how it should have gone + add a lil spice

[blueboybot]

I'm obessed with the idea that drunk Damian acts exactly like Bruce's Brucie Wayne persona.

_____

Duke: Is that?...

Nightwing: No way!

Jason: Please tell me you're recording this.

Tim: *already have several cameras recording with the best quality going* Oh absolutely!

Bruce: *in shock*

Damian: *singing gossip by måneskin and dancing*

[thatnununguy]

joey claire? or maybe roxy? someone very silly

New art challenge: Draw Roxy drunk while being drunk!!! Thanks for the ask btw :3

[copia]

THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY THREE

favourite song from Opus Eponymous — Con Clavi Con Dio

[MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY] You are uncordially invited to attend the Ministry's conjuration for a night of infernal psalms. Be guided in praise of Sathanas by Papa Emeritus il Quarto; be led in worship of His Unholy Majesty; He shall rise, from precipice through birth. Tonight, siamo con il nostro Dio Scuro!

[pyroy3]

Compiling additional proof against Wilbur into one, easy to understand list.

I'm making a simple list that anyone can refer to when faced with doubts about Shelby's and other victims claims. I don't know if this will reach the right audience, or reach anyone at all, but i'd like to get it off my chest.

Why do I care so much? Because i've followed Wilbur since his day on the Jacksucksatlife channel. He had a great influence over me as a teenager, and it sucks that he was an asshole all along. I want to see him fail, that's all.

Main points are all in Shelby, Nikki, Minx and other creators' videos on him. These are just small details that are easily missed.

Wilbur being abusive towards his friends

The first video in particular really highlights the amount of power that Wilbur holds. "Tell them about how awful I am to you" seems like a dangerous thing to say as someone who is actually abusive, but it's likely that he knows he can get away with it. He doesn't expect anyone to call him out on his behaviour.

The other problem I have with this clip aside from the taunting, is the vacuum cleaner. He asks her to tell the people watching about her experience, and immediately starts vacuuming for no reason which drowns out the noise of her speaking. Feel free to tell me i'm looking into this too much, but this is how I feel about it: It's him (knowingly or unknowingly) showing off his power. Showing that he's in control even when she's talking about the biting, creating an understanding that it's not a serious issue and that it's just a joke. His humour makes the audience laugh along at an issue that we now understand wasn't funny.

A clip talking about how Wilbur threw Niki because she playfully said she was big and strong. His quick sentence "you were saying you were stronger than-" could either be him misremembering, deciding to ignore that detail, or literally saying that he interpreted her actions as claiming to be stronger than him. He says it was a "consensual throwing" but we already know how terrible he is with consent. TLDW: Niki said she was big and strong so Wilbur threw her "to assert dominance" (and show that he was stronger than her).

Niki has confirmed that she "knew wilbur in that way", but aside from mentioning the biting habit, she doesn't want to talk about it. She just said that that period was a dark time in her life. No one should ask her to talk more about this (or even bring it up around her), but it is unfortunately possible that she carries even more horrible experiences about Will with her.

In Tommy's disneyland vlog, there is a short clip where Tommy playfully unties Wilbur's shoelaces and gets his hand stomped on. Thing like these flew under the radar because of their brotherly bond. You'd expect two young brothers to react like this, but not a grown man and his teenage friend. Tommy tells him that his finger got cut, and instead of apologizing, Wilbur says it was because Tommy was gonna untie his shoelaces. He essentially says that Tommy had it coming, that it was his fault he got hurt.

The biting behaviour wasn't exclusive to romantic partners. This is a clip of him biting Tommy's hand "for content", despite Tommy repeatedly shouting no. The biting isn't bad here, but it once again proves that this was something he genuinely did.

The story starts at 0:38. Here, Wilbur tells the story of how he helped Techno pick apples by gently throwing them so Techno could put them in the basket. Techno says that Wilbur is very bad at throwing. In response, Wilbur says that he threw an apple as hard as he could, aiming for his stomach. Instead, he accidentally hit the shoulder that his surgery was on. Anyone who's been hit in the stomach should know how painful it is. If Wilbur were to throw an apple has hard as he could at his stomach, it would seriously hurt. But he laughs it off. Wilbur once again claims that the person he hurt deserved it, because techno made fun of his throwing ability. I've heard that Techno's dad yelled at Wilbur for doing it, but even then, he still laughs about the story.

Wilbur's music and separating it from the artist

It's completely natural for a musician with a history of bad mental health to blame himself in his music. One of Wilbur's biggest inspirations, Crywank, have lots of songs about being a bad person. A symptom of depression is to believe you're a bad person. But as far as we know, Wilbur's music actually told the truth.

I can't find the tweet, but we also know that one of wilburs old friends(?) came out with the info that Lovejoy's song "concrete" was based on their experience, and the song explains Wilbur's neglectful behaviour.

You should know what Lovejoy's music is about. A lot of it is based on toxic relationships, being cheated on, being abused. It is a complete mockery of the people that he hurt. "Call me what you like" is clearly about being in an abusive relationship where his partner takes advantage of him and cheats on him. She forces him to "bump his head into every doorway she sees suitable for them to go through". Not that he knows what the song he wrote is about though, since he couldn't recall a single thing about the song during the genius interview. Yes, he was high, but he may as well had someone ghostwrite it for him.

Singing "you claim your ex-boyfriend's a policeman, I say you need better standards" in the song Perfume is crazy when his standards are allowing abuse to happen.

When listening to Scum, you repeatedly hear him admitting to being scum and waste. Concrete is about how he's a piece of shit. Consequences should remind you of the actual consequences of his actions. I already explained what's wrong with "your sister was right". His parody songs are direct reflections of his real personality.

However, if you still want to listen to him - spotify has a feature where you can put local files into your playlists. If you have his music downloaded, you can listen to it on spotify without giving him money or views. Just saying.

Why he can get away with it

Look at him. He is an attractive white man in the UK, And pretty privilege is a thing, no matter how you look at it. He's popular and has gotten empathy from impressionable teenagers on the internet. A lot of people have put him on a pedestal after he showed support for the LGBT+ community and BLM, singing about being against capitalism. People feel bad for him because of his history with mental health problems. They excuse his actions because he was depressed during his relationships. He also has a pattern of exclusively targeting those weaker than him. Tiny women who he can pin down, throw or bite to show he's stronger than, and teenager Tommy who believed they had a brother dynamic. You will also notice that the only people who have shared their experience with him have been women who didn’t feel strong enough to fight back against him. He is a manipulator through and through.

This is not all the proof there is

If you need more convincing, watch other creator's videos and statements on the subject. Shelby, Niki, Minx, Alicenyannya. There are also more small things that he has done that add up, either violent behaviour, yelling, or ignoring people's boundaries.

You can keep uselessly arguing about why he acted this way, but the physical abuse is undeniable, and I hope that the other points in this post has shown his disrespect for consent (ignoring people saying no), manipulative behaviour (victim blaming, making it seem like a joke) and lack of care for the consequences of his actions (stomping on tommy's hand, throwing an apple as hard as he can at techno, throwing niki, biting his girlfriends).

Thank you to anyone who got this far, I hope someone will get use out of it. I'm happy to finally get what I wanted to say out there.

[remembertheplunge]

5/29/2017 Monday 11:01pm Labor day. Memorial Day. Whatever day it is.

Wonderful meeting with Gary at Dale Road Mc Donald's tonight. He's actually quite handsome. Big build. Young guy. Maybe 30.

Very deep, kind, sincere man. Very tired, worn down/out.

He's used to sleeping outside. No TV. Gary "If all this wasn't here, we'd all sleep outside. What will be here in a million years?"

He had a beer today to cut the meth cravings. I gave him Kyle's copy of "Sober For Good".

I gave him a bag with 3 pairs of socks.

I told him that I'm glad that he texts me. Few others (the homeless) have.

He said God sent me. He asked God over and over "Why is Lew in my life?"....meaning "It's great you (God) sent him.

I told him that I love talking with him."

End of this part of entry

Notes:

meth is methamphetamine

I gave Gary a Trader Joe Survival Kit bag with food, socks and toiletries.

Sober For Good is an excellent book re: recovery from alcohol addiction

[erynalasse]

I wonder when the Noldor looked around at their dwindling numbers and realized that they were dying faster than they could ever keep up with.

[stealingyourbones]

Everyone who ever loves movie theatre popcorn needs to buy Flavacol. It’s the flavored salt used to give movie theatre popcorn its taste and it makes popcorn taste exponentially better than regular salt

A link to prove that it’s genuinely The Real Deal

[sadisticyouko]

hello, im not sure if requests are open or closed, if they're closed you can ignore this ^^

reader is female.

can i request a one shot where the reader is a part of team urameshi and reader and hiei were secretly dating until (either member of your choice maybe kurama or something) walks in on the two of them kissing and eventually they come out that they've been dating. :P

☆ author's note : a little bit suggestive but not too much detail, I wrote most of this while i was super drunk last night and finally got around to finishing it up today, not sure if i love the ending tbh, but i hope this is to your liking ! ♡

❝ JUST BETWEEN US ❞

You weren’t sure what to call it. At first it started with bouts of protectiveness, almost constantly initiated by Hiei. The Dark Tournament was a vicious, cruel game that in a way, exposed a softer side of Team Urameshi as a whole. How you all cared for one another. How you would all willingly fight a stadium full of monsters for one another. It a was a fast track way to bond for a pair of teammates that knew little to nothing of each other previous to boarding that boat and fighting to the death one round after another.

You couldn’t tell that anything had changed about him after the first match. You were bloodied, slightly concussed, and amped up by the adrenaline of having won your first fight. Bruises no doubt littered your entire body. Yusuke congratulated you with a rough pat on the back, his hand accidentally slapping against a particularly deep wound. You gave Kuwabara a half hug on your way back, his embrace gentler, but still sturdy with relief.

When your eyes broke contact with the healthy green grass you stamped beneath your feet, you met Hiei’s crimson eyes.

Almost like an accident, at first. How long had he been staring? His eyes quickly darted to the left, almost embarrassed to have been caught watching you. But why would that be unusual? You figured he was just still learning it was normal to care about his friends.

You instinctively stood beside him for the remainder of the fights. Not much conversation, both of your attention glued to the arena before you. Your shoulders feeling like magnets. More effort to distance yourself from his side than it took to stay there. Your eyes occasionally meeting when you dare to look from the fight to his face. Like he had been staring. A light pink dusting his cheeks when he’s caught in the act before he immediately looks away. Another complaint if you stare for too long.

If Kuwabara breathed too hard you never heard the end of it from Hiei. If a contestant took a misstep in the arena he had a corrective remark to make of it.

When your hand accidentally brushed his…he was silent. When your eyes met his in the middle of a group conversation…he was silent.

It wasn’t until one of your matches went sideways that he decided not to waste anymore time.

Feeling out powered. Out classed. Running out of ideas. Out of time… You thought you might really die in front of your friends and a stadium full of demons chanting, praying for more of your blood to spill on the pavement. Your vision gets blurry after losing enough blood. It’s like seeing through static. Lungs burning with exertion. Muscles freezing, locking in place. This is it, you think. This is death.

And Hiei’s voice breaks through the thick fog of your surrender.

“Fight, (y/n), fight!”

It’s by some miracle your opponent passes out seconds before you. You released a burst of energy, you don’t even know how, to knock them out of the ring and begin the count down. The sound of the announcer’s eager voice ringing in your eyes. One…two… staggering…and darkness.

The air conditioner makes a comforting noise in the darkness of the hotel room. It’s a gentle hum. Sometimes a staccato to disrupt the pattern. Before your eyes even open, a heavy pounding begins in your head. Aching all over. Body heavy with exhaustion. And yet…your body fights. Shooting up in bed. Tense and primed for violence. Your hands balled into fists as your eyes adjust to the dark hotel room…

“Hn, finally. You’ve been sleeping for hours.”

It’s Hiei. His voice stirring an unfamiliar warmth in your belly that relaxes your muscles, your fight or flight instincts taking a back seat to an entirely new set of instincts. Of warmth…of uncertainty. You fidget in the white linen bed they assigned to you and let out a deep sigh you didn’t know you were holding in. “Did we win?”

“Obviously.”

You haven’t dared to look at him yet, you hand encasing your face as your body adjusts to its surroundings. The bed dips with his weight as he comes to sit beside you, bringing a cool cup of water up to your lips and tipping it. Holding the glass as you sip and then gulp all the water within the glass. A bead of water escapes from your lips, drips down the side as Hiei retracts the glass.

Unbeknownst to you, he watches that little bead of water carefully. He watches your face carefully the same way he watched over you while you slept. Examining your breathing, dressing your wounds.. The moonlight bounces off the side of your cheek and casts a glow around your features. Features he worried he’d never see again. The face he saw bloodied and battered in the arena. The face he had secretly hoped he’d get to enjoy for years to come…

When you finally turn to look into his crimson eyes…he is electric… A live wire full of emotion and pain. Before either of you even realize, his hand is under your chin and pulling your face close into an innocent kiss. A press of his lips against yours, and moving fervently, desperately against yours until he opens his mouth and lets your taste in. Until he’s on top of you in bed, moving the sheets away from your body to feel you close. Until you’re gasping at the proximity. Until you’re wondering if you really did win that fight or maybe if you’ve descending into a blissful hell and hiei’s there to greet you with the most blissful sins imaginable.

No one notices for the rest of the tournament.

And, why would they? A life for death scenario each and every day. Never knowing whether or not you’d all finally make it home or if it’d be your last night on earth. Murdered in front of a live audience desperately cheering and hoping to see as much of a mess of your innards as possible.

You and Hiei made the most of it.

After everyone had fallen asleep. After everyone had made their way into their respective rooms. Whether it had been an exhaustive training day or an actual fight in the arena. You kept your door unlocked. Sometimes wandering through the halls of the hotel into his room, sometimes him seeking you out. Every touch of his calloused hands against your face. Every stolen glance or secret kiss. Every moment you had of darkness and peace after the tournament was indulged in between the two of you.

There were a few times you worried the secret would be given away. He didn’t like for anyone to stand too close to you. He didn’t like for you to volunteer for any fights, not if the four of them could handle it. It wouldn’t always be words or outward aggression he’d show to keep others away from you. Sometimes it was just an ominous energy emanating from him if someone else took the seat beside you. It took everything within his power not to drape an arm around you and tell his teammates flat out to back off. Don’t touch her. Don’t look at her. She’s mine…

Naturally, a part of you worried that it would all come to an end once the tournament was over. No matter how sad or distant it made you feel, you always welcomed the fire demon into your arms and into your heart whenever he made his presence known. Life was too short to waste time worrying about a future that might never come. Not when you already had everything you wanted in your arms.

Despite having made it all the way back home, you were pleasantly surprised when his affections didn’t stop then.

He still needed to see you. Still needed you in his arms. Still needed your lips and hips pressed against his. There was no one else but him. There was no one else but you. It was a bit hard to define the limits, but Hiei seemed to understand what you were. You were his. And he was yours. And that was enough for a demon from another world to understand.

Moments alone were easier to come by after the tournament. Hiei would seek you out whenever he felt like it, and the others were occupied with going back into the daily routines they held before. So when the team was called back together for another mission, you two were a bit out of practice in the sneaking around department.

The gang had been around each other almost every second during the last few days.

No alone time. No stolen kisses or quick pecks, not while the others were present and within sight. And every moment that Hiei had to go without your touch was another moment of growing agitation.

Kuwabara finally dozes off laying on the living room floor. The lights are dim in his family room, everyone had been strategizing hard for the next mission. Yusuke stretches his legs in front of him from where he leans against the couch, getting lost staring at the screen of his phone. Kurama stands stiffly before excusing himself for a light walk around the neighborhood.

You lock eyes with Hiei.

He gets up and disappears further into the house. You wait a few minutes. Eyes darting between the two boys in the room. Both tired and both not paying any attention. You finally stand and follow Hiei into an empty bedroom.

The room is dark, and the door closes behind you before your eyes even adjust to the darkness and register his presence.

It's his hand at your waist you recognize before finally meeting his crimson gaze. Your hand naturally drifts up to his cheek, cupping his face the way you've done dozens of times before.

He doesn't say anything. Doesn't need to. Not when his body already fills the silence. I need you. I miss you. I need you closer. I need your touch...

When his lips finally press against yours, his kiss is heated and desperate and heavy with wanting. Wasting no time to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring your familiar taste and claiming you the way he had been dying to for so many days in a row.

Click.

The doorknob clicks open and the door bumps into the wall as it swings open. "Oh my god."

Hiei had instinctively gripped you tighter at the sound, pulling you close with one arm as his other hand gripped the handle of his sword.

A move which he instantly regretted, given the sight.

"Oh my god!" Yusuke points with a devilish grin, laughing at the unexpected discovery, "Are you two dating?! Hiei, you dog!"

Hiei grimaces at the detective's discovery. His grip on you only slightly loosening as he turns to threaten Yusuke. "Shut up you idiot."

"Oh my god, how did we not notice?! How long has this been going on for?!"

The discovery is entertaining enough for Yusuke to go on and on, only for Kuwabara to wake up and barge in and the entire secret is exposed. On the one hand, it's a bit of relief that you two won't have to sneak around the gang anymore. On the other, it's a relentless barrage of jokes and euphemisms while the two dummies come to terms with the discovery. At least Hiei won't be as agitated during the team meetings anymore, if he somehow manages not to kill one of them before the night's over.

©️sadisticyouko | please do not plagiarize, repost, or redistribute in any way without permission.

[neuroticboyfriend]

just wanna thank the universe for tonight's sobriety. i feel like a person again. i'm a person with trauma, psychosis, depression, anxiety, chronic pain & fatigue... but i'm still a person. i'm still a person and i don't need to drink and drug away my life, my soul. whether i relapse again or not doesn't change that.

my future self could try all they want to erase my humanity, in a desperate attempt to see my ego as the sole cumulation of all i am... but that will always be wrong. that will always be sickly, deadly, and unnecessary suffering. that will always be far less than i deserve.

i am sober tonight. i hope i'm sober a minute from now, an hour from now, a day from now. i hope i feel that way every day i have left on this earth, however many or little that is. i'm a person. a whole world exists inside me and for tonight, in this moment, that world gets to simply be. exactly as it exists right now, pain and hardship and all.

and it's beautiful. hold on, pain ends. h.o.p.e. i love you all.