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wishset · 3 months

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i don't smoke, until i miss you boothill x reader

summary: Boothill was never a greedy man, he didn't ask for much yet he received the whole world. Just you and your child, he really didn't need much else, yet the cosmos seemed to have made a mistake and tried to rectify it by taking everything away.

explored themes. possibly ooc or lore inaccurate. 1k+ words, fluff to angst. written in 2nd pov. play i don't smoke while reading this, trust. can potentially be interpreted as platonic, if you squint rlly hard.

from author: i haven't played hsr in a while, yet researching boothill's lore just struck the rdr2 writer in me. per usual, i can't let myself be happy with anything but angst so grab a tissue. i haven't posted a work like this online before so i'm highkey nervous, but i'd love to hear what you think! there is some bonus info at the end, but i hope you enjoy this! (she said knowing this is what she ends up writing:)

Boothill was never one to smoke a cigarette, the most he would get close to one was standing next to you under a tree after a long day. You'd still offer him one, even though he always said no, as an act of acknowledgment. He couldn't do that now, though, the smoke would damage his robotic body even if he weren't the one inhaling it.

He'd be perched down on a large root of the tree you leaned back on, staring at your boots in his peripheral as you watched the sunset. The river running in the distance, your horses chewing on the grass below y'all when they weren't nipping at each other, the livestock settled down in the barns, and dinner sat on the warm fire for when the two of you returned.

"What's next?" He asks, his eyes following the line of your boot up to your face.

You always shrug, as if you never thought so far ahead. He did, fairly often in all truthfulness, and you only knew that because of how often he asked.

"'Suppose not much next, is there? Keep doin' this, 'till we're old and gray, then someone else takes over. Life goes on," you answer, flicking the ash out the tip of your cigarette.

He watches the ash burn itself in the grass as he thinks about your answer. It was food enough, neither of you learned much besides farm life. No such thing as anything more for the uneducated, which Boothill wouldn't have any other way.

He didn't mind waking and talking to Nick about the farm as he waited for you to come down for breakfast. He didn't mind wounding up the cattle every day while you watch or watching the horses while they round about the fields with you. The crops wouldn't harvest itself and there's no one else he'd rather harvest it with than you.

Life was good and Boothill was fine with it.

Would he have been so fine with it if you hadn't been hired by Nick and Graey when he turned a teen? He was glad he wouldn't have to find out. They hired a farmhand and he got a best friend, even if he was jealous they hired you in the first place.

He thought it meant he wasn't enough for them, not helpful enough, but that couldn't have been farther from the truth and you taught that to him.

And, while Boothill never liked to say he was right all along, there was more for the two of you than the repetitive cycles you'd fallen into. Matter of fact, he couldn't believe he was so content with just that now that you both had a daughter.

Maybe if you hadn't left your cigarette pack up in your room, the both of you wouldn't have returned when you did. Maybe if he wasn't waiting on the porch downstairs for you to return so you could join him at your usual place, he wouldn't have heard crying a little ways off from the house.

"What am I supposed ta' do with her?" He looks up at you when you find him. The cigarette pack falls into your pocket as if the box itself might contaminate the bundle of purity crying in Boothill's arms.

"Dunno. She like ta' join us?" You propose, motioning towards the tree up on a hill that waited patiently for you two. (Now, three.)

Boothill stood, joining you at full height. "Looks like she might."

The red-faced babe looked between the two of you, tears staining her little cheeks. How long has it been since you seen a baby? Quite a while, yet your first instinct still is to smile.

"Looks like it indeed."

From that day forward, you and Boothill were parents. Not even Nick or Graey questioned it when you both returned with a child. Finding one seemed to be common 'round those parts.

And boy, did parenthood change just about everything? She already had her first pony picked out before she could even walk, little boots and a hat, a sass about her, too.

Boothill couldn't recall the last time he was near a cigarette, not after you gave them to him to dispose of so that your little girl would never find them. It was never just the two of you at the tree again, always you three. Two grown horses and a little foal, growing along with her.

Now this he'd have no other way.

He was perched down on the large root of the tree beside you, where you sat as well. He could see the little girl in your lap in his peripheral, which he turned to look at when she called him.

For her, it wasn't Boothill, something more like "Papa." She had this little giggle in her voice when she said it and even after the most tiring days, Boothill never had been happier.

"What's it, sugar?" He asks, turning to look at her. You look as well when she crawls out of your lap and stands, waddling her way over to him.

Was this how the mares felt when their foal stood and walked over to them for the first time? If it was, he was jealous it took him so long to figure it out for himself. You looked just as surprised as he felt and neither of you knew how to respond. Nick and Graey taught him everything he knew, yet the two of you taught him more every day.

Boothill was never one to smoke a cigarette, but now he was the one flicking ash off the tip and watching as it burned the knee of his pants. Now he couldn't get the stench of smoke off of him.

It was nice, even though his metal body hissed in disagreement. He took another puff, then another. Would you feel betrayed that he never really disposed of the pack of cigarettes? He didn't know. But it was late nights where he thought of how he got them in the first place he was glad he didn't.

It was a brand new pack when you came down from the house, now it was nearly halfway empty.

Was this what it smelt like when the house burned? Did it burn the same way? ─ No, it couldn't have. This burn burnt good, this burn was all he had left of you. This burn reminded him of you and the sacrifices you made for your daughter, this burn reminds him of the two of you and all the sacrifices he'll make for you.

bonus information: | more here.

[ 1 ] "It was a new pack when you came down from the house, now it was nearly halfway empty." That's about how many times Boothill found himself thinking of you, so much so he needed something palpable. Y'know, because everything was burned so all he has is this vague smell of you? I'm sorry. He also has blown through other packs when he just wants to remember the comfort your presence had brought him at one point, he only uses your pack on those nights.

[ 2 ] Wanna know another kicker? Boothill knows for a fact you wouldn't have been happy if you knew he smoked, before his enhancements and after. You used to tell him that they were bad for him, which he already knew, but that was very long ago in the overall timeline of this fic. When he thinks about those times, he smokes another.

[ 3 ] He doesn't have anything to remember your daughter by, he might've if the IPC nuke came a little later so that she could've given him the gift she'd been working on. You might've been able to give him your gift as well, so he had something healthier to cling on to. Those are long since burned and buried, though.

[ 4 ] In the image thing, my brain is blanking on what it's called, the "Everyone you love is dead anyway" is a reference to "You're going to die anyway". Yes, that is the front of a Marlboro pack, lol.

[ 5 ] Alright alright, you've cried enough tears, but if you notice any other little details, I'd love to talk about them/hear your thoughts. I poured my soul into this so many thanks for giving it a shot!

#BY: 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐒𝐄𝐓 ───── ⟢ HONKAI SR #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #boothill x reader #hsr boothill #boothill #honkai star rail #hsr #boothill x you #boothill x gender neutral reader #boothill angst #boothill fluff

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enbyfrogwrites · 6 months

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you're so needy, baby pt. 2

so! y'all voted for the content of pt 2. I hope y'all enjoy, again mdni and everything is under the cut <3.

tags: dead dove do not eat, mommy kink, sub!choso, smut, begging, afab reader but reader is nb coded, reader is mix coded but there's nothing pertaining to race outwardly, cockwarming, reverse cowgirl, needy!choso, dom!gn!reader, reader is FAT not chubby or curvy, squirting, 18+; i don't go into details of what reader has, but reader is afab!coded but no outward description of their bottom half. Additionally, no use of y/n, unprotected sex

i'm trying my best, my physical and mental health went down the drain so i'm sorry that it took literal months to even begin this. there's going to be spelling and grammar errors cuz i'm just one person and that's just how it goes. please send me asks of yummy content. i think im gonna make this sub characters blog lmao

thanks for reading <3

word count: ~1.8k

You look back at Choso, his face wet as he pathetically whimpers a combination of pleas and 'Mommy'. You've been playing your game for a while. You haven't checked the time yet, but you figured it was close to an hour since you actually started playing.

"M-Mommy-" Choso huffed hotly into the nape of your neck. "Has it been an hour yet?" His voice was so whiney, the tail end of his question ended in a higher pitch. You chuckle as you felt your boyfriend nuzzled his tear-stained face in between your neck and the soft meat of your shoulder. The sensation caused you to shiver slightly, in turn making Choso groan loudly as you felt his still hard cock twitch inside of you.

"I don't know, baby. I have to check." You answered truthfully, your hand reaching up and ruffled your boyfriend's fine hair. Choso leans into the touch, letting out a small noise. You paused your game and grabbed your phone which sat next to your desktop. You swiftly tap your screen as you bring the device to your face. As you looked at the time, you felt your cute boyfriend grab at your apron belly, squeezing tightly in need, but not enough to physically hurt you.

You notice you have ten more minutes left before it would be a full hour...but you were in between quests in your game. Not only that...but your boyfriend was being such a good boy too...ah, fuck it.

"Yeah, baby." You coo as you take your headphones off and set them in front of you. "Are you ready for Mommy's reward?"

"Please, please!" Choso cried softly into your plump shoulder, his hands skirting up your stomach so he can wrap his arms around your waist. "Mommy, it hurts. Have I been a good boy?"

Your boyfriend squeezes you tightly, whining and sniffling pathetically. You again reach over your shoulder to pat his head lovingly before placing both of your hands on your desk for better leverage. You propel the desk chair backwards, pushing off your desk just enough for you and Choso to get up, not to fling yourself across the room.

"C'mon, Pookie;" You turn your head to look at Choso's beautiful dark violet eyes. "Let's take this to the bed, Okay? Mommy wants you to lay on the bed for them." You slowly pull yourself off his length, making your boyfriend gasp as your wet hole left his aching cock. His cock was slick and shiny from your hole, glistening in the natural lighting in your bedroom. Gods, his cock was beautiful, the head leaked profusely and was a glorious shade between dusty pink and scarlet red. Choso's cock twitched temptingly from the sudden temperature difference. The shaft was just so thick and veiny, and absolutely delectable to look at.

You look up and noticed how wrecked Choso truly was. The shorter front pieces his hair was plastered to this forehead. Your boyfriend's cheeks were so flushed that it somehow made the mark on his nose stand out even more. When you make eye contact with the poor half-curse, his dark circles were more pronounced from how much he was crying and begging. The blush from his cheeks traveled all the way down his neck to just a bit under collar bone that peaked from his V-neck.

You gestured to the bed next to your desk with your hand before gently leaning down to lick your way into Choso's mouth. The mewl that left his mouth as you caressed his tongue lovingly with your own was delicious. You pull away and made the short distance to the bed. You plop down on the edge of it and stared at your boyfriend expectantly as you patted your shared bed.

Choso scrambled off your desk chair, his feet shuffling swiftly and softly across the hardwood floor. He climbed dutifully on the bed and went to the center of the mattress where you patted.

"Scoot up for, Mommy please. Mommy wants their good boy's back on the headboard, can you do that?"

Choso nodded eagerly, his hands pushing the majority of his body weight so he can maneuver to how you wanted him positioned. You move up with him and made sure to tuck a couple of pillows behind him in preparation for his...reward. In addition, you slide your chubby fingers under his V-neck and pulled the fabric off his chiseled abdomen and carefully made sure that it didn't snag on any of his piercings on the way up.

"Mommy, please." Choso choked out, his right hand sneaking past your heated core to grip his cock. Really it's been only a few minutes, but the tone of his voice and desperation in your boyfriend's eyes made it seem it's been like a million years. You giggled as you gently pried his hand off his leaking cock, giving a small peck on his cheek in compensation.

"Relax for me, baby."

You palm your boyfriend's cock with one hand, starting from the base and leave fleeting touches across his tip with your fingertips. You repeat this motion a couple times, making Choso squirm and gasp loudly at the sensation. On the downwards stoke, you continue further down and cupped Choso's balls and gently massaged them. You pull a few more moans and whimpers from him before letting go completely.

You turn yourself around and backed your ass up enough, so your boyfriend's cock lined perfectly with your sopping hole. You hold your breath as you grip his cock and began to sink down on to it. Gods, he was just in you, and he still felt so damned big. You wait a moment after Choso bottoms out to catch your breath before to turning partially around to face the half-curse.

"Let Mommy do all the work, okay? You can cum in Mommy's hole whenever. You were such a good boy today, Cho!"

Choso's only response was a meek 'please, Mommy' followed by a shuttered breath. His pupils were blown wide, his beautiful violet irises almost swallowed whole as he made eye contact with you. You gave him a lopsided smile before facing forward so you can grab at the bed between Choso's thighs.

"My thighs, Mommy!" A pause as you whip your head back towards the half-curse. "I want to feel you grip my thighs as you fuck yourself on my cock, Mommy."

You face heated up immediately. You felt yourself get even more wet on his cock before hurriedly turning back around in slight embarrassment. You go to do what your boyfriend requested of you, but you felt him yank on your t-shirt.

"I love seeing all of you, baby. It's not fair if I'm the only one naked." Choso's tone was between husky and needy.

A twinge of self-consciousness peaked in your head at the thought of riding you boyfriend with all of you exposed. You apron belly, your back rolls, and your stretch marks would be on complete display. But just as those thoughts came into your head, they vanished when you felt Choso sit up more just to grab at your fat stomach.

"Please, baby? I love you. All of you."

You felt your body relax- you didn't even know it tensed up in the first place quite frankly. Warmth blossomed throughout your chest as the love and comfort radiated from Choso. You nodded your head and swiftly pulled off your shirt. You didn't wear a binder or a bra today, so you felt your nipples pebble immediately in the open air.

Fuck, you loved Choso so damned much.

"I love you, too. Lean back so Mommy can take care of you." You twist your head enough so you can watch him obey you before you faced forward again.

You gripped Choso's thighs as you lifted your hips up and slammed them down again. Choso made a choked sound behind you, making you smile at the noise before repeating the motion again. You began to rock your hips at the end, making your boyfriend hit deep inside you. Helpless, you yelp in pleasure as you do it again. Small 'ah ah ah's kept being punched from Choso's lips as you sit fully on him again.

"Fuck, baby, meet me halfway?" You groan the question out as you grind your core on the half-curse's pelvis.

"Yeah, Mama," Choso didn't even hesitate before grabbing your plump hips as leverage to thrust up into you.

You both moan when you meet perfectly in the middle. The skin-on-skin slapping echoed loudly throughout the room, which surprisingly wasn't half as loud as Choso's cries of 'mommy' and his high-pitched keens.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy-" the noise Choso let out following the last plea was between a choked sob and a frustrated whine. "I'm gonna cum! Please! Puh-lease." You twist your head to look behind you and noticed your boyfriend was only using one hand on your hips as he gripped on to his hair with his other hand...in desperation.

You were close too- fuck. Your legs were getting tired, but you weren't going to stop now especially if your boyfriend looked like that. Gripping his thighs even tighter- he's definitely going to have bruises tomorrow- you push yourself even further. Your hips came down harshly and unrelenting. You purposely kept grinding your core on every down stroke to bring yourself closer to orgasming.

"Cumming, Mommy!" Choso keened, he learned forward and grabbed your fat stomach, as he held your hips still to pump his hot seed into your sloppy hole. You felt his cock twitch inside your gummy walls, and you quickly reached between your legs to rub yourself furiously.

It didn't take much, a couple of swipes of your chubby fingers on your nub and the dam broke. A small cry left your lips as you felt a small distant feeling of being...more wet than usual when cumming this time around.

You rested on your haunches as you tried to catch your breath. Unconsciously you rubbed at the now red fingerprints blossoming on Choso's thighs. Speaking of him you felt the half-curse lovingly rub your stomach as he nuzzled his face into the plush middle of your back.

You then felt Choso began to shake uncontrollably, and you began to worry. Just as you tried to turn around, you felt Choso smile into your back, and you noticed that he was fucking...laughing?

"Look down, baby." Choso giggled.

You do as you were requested and look down. To your horror your sheets were soaked.

"Holy fuck! Did I really squirt?" You also noticed that your boyfriend's cock and balls were sopping.

"And here you were trying to play your game, but you wouldn't have done this if you did, Mommy."

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hwajin · 2 years

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#!! - 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄 — 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 ; ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ

— 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst

— 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: hyunjin x reader, chan x reader

— 𝐰𝐜: 6.5k

— 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: a first word, a first impression. a first touch, and then some more.

— 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: from the next chapter and up imma make longer chapters hence probably gonna take a bit longer in between posting!! i've started off with shortish chapters since i was scared to end up with like only two lmao, but now that i'm on my 5th one and haven't even reached the main happening of this whole thing i'll start making longer chapters!! do leave feedback and tell me how you liked this chapter (i'm a bit unsatisfied with how this one turned out so i hope some of you will still enjoy it <33). i'd love to read some of y'all theories or predictions to how this is gonna go, so if you have ANY thoughts about this series don't be shy to pour em out in tags or my inbox <33

series masterlist | next chapter

You haven’t talked much with Chan. When he has pulled you by the hand to drag you outside and away from the crowd – away from the stranger – only a few words have fallen, your apologetic ones, Chan’s frustrated.

“Then explain it to me, cuz I don’t really get it if I’m honest. Like- I might be overreacting but this dude was obviously staring… and you were staring back as if you knew him?! Like do you? Are you lying to me? Or was he just so hot you forgot you have a boyfriend here today?”

Chan hasn’t been screaming by any means, hasn’t raised his voice. And yet his anger was felt, through his words and movements. His face contorted, brows scrunched and lips pursed. A habit he had when madness got to him. And it had made you feel guilty. Oh so guilty. And then; annoyed.

Because if you were honest, who was he to not believe you? Who was Chan to assume he was aware of the stranger and his doings on you for weeks on end, who was he to lash out on you when he hasn’t been making efforts to go as far as to notice your worrying and your pondering the past weeks? How was Chan higher of a person to accuse you of something you weren’t guilty of, not really? Because staring wasn’t cheating surely, and Chan was all too jealous, entirely overreacting. Though maybe that was a lie to calm only yourself.

“Babe, I don’t want to fight, please, he just- I have seen him a couple weeks back, in the store, I thought I remembered him. That’s it. I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me- he must have remembered me as well. That’s it.”

It had taken you all your will to stay calm, to not lash out as well and break into a fight. Because you have promised it to yourself, and you have promised it to Chan. That you would work on it, on your relationship, together. You didn’t want to be the first to screw it up. Not on a party like this, not in the midst of tons of people, not under the influence. And yet, you needed to remind yourself actively of those facts, needed help to remember what exactly you have promised each other, what exactly you and Chan have agreed on. Because you so badly wanted to turn your head toward the stranger, so badly wanted to see if he was still standing by the bar. It took you more willpower to keep your eyes on Chan that it had needed to collect yourself.

And in the matter of seconds Chan has been dragged out by his friends, all apologetic to steal him away from you but they needed him for the next game they had planned or they couldn’t play, and you had been left standing alone on the balcony, without an answer from your boyfriend, without a glimpse into his thoughts, without reassurance. With the ever-growing wish to go and look for the stranger. To go up and talk to him, ask what his deal was, what kind of sick game he was playing to be living in your thoughts for longer than you’d love to admit. To go up to him and ask of his name, how his day had gone, whether or not he’s been thinking about you as well, as vividly and intimately as you have. You wanted to be close to him, wanted to flee into his closeness for comfort. And it was so utterly stupid that you couldn’t help but scoff about yourself, letting your head fall into your hands. The stinging wind was cutting your skin, the exposed parts of your arms, your cheeks. It fluttered through your hair, made a mess of it. Mimicking your mind. Oh, how pathetic you were.

It was strange. The feeling was so incredibly strange that it dared to tie up your ways of breathing. If you had expected to see the stranger tonight or not – nothing would have prepared you when you had met his eyes. He wasn’t simply attractive, not only the image you remembered him as from weeks prior. He had something more about him – an aura, or maybe simply a radiance – that nearly physically pulled you towards him. That had made you want to keep staring, make a double take, while amid talking to Chan. He was strange. Strange to appear here out of all places, and tonight out of all nights after having been creeping in and out your mind. And precisely that, the mystery of him, the unknown about his persona were the motives that made you look back, through the glasern door of the balcony, and into the living room – where he still stood, now moved further into the middle, further into the turmoil of people, talking to a man you have never seen before, a friend probably, maybe the one he came with. The conversation was heated – the strangers' mimics were, at least; face contorted into one of seeming shock, arms passionately gesturing something you couldn’t understand.

For a split second you hoped it would be about you, the conversation, the look on his face. His big movements. You had noticed that he had been staring you down as much as you have – as though he was sensing the same, as though his heart, too, had squeezed so hard the tension had made him dizzy, as though his lungs, as well, had been cut short when your eyes had met. You forced the thought away as fast as it came – it scared you, how fast he was pulling you in, how quick the next thought occupied your mind – would it be all too wrong to go up and talk to him? Your first, initial response was that yes, it would be thoroughly dumb to mingle with the stranger that caused an argument with your boyfriend – not mentioning that he was the one you came with, anyways, that he was the one to be taking your side, the one you should be stealing glances from. But then another, far louder voice in your head argued the opposite. Argued that it was fine, because really, how good was your boyfriend anyways? And what had he given you besides headaches recently, besides reasons to sit him down and talk it out, long and painful, with tears filling both your eyes? The stranger showed nothing of that nature – the stranger looked like love itself, the personification of it, looked like the puzzle piece that you were missing to find for years on end.

What was wrong with you, truly?

Warm guilt nagged at your bones and crept its way up your nape, to the plush of your cheeks. It was a strange feeling of anxiety when thinking about the manner, about the man in the living room you were eyeing from your secure position on the balcony. A feeling of anxiety because thinking about it, about him, hinted at everything that was wrong with Chan. Hinted all those small cracks in a love you built so dearly, all those cracks that might break eventually if you weren’t careful enough. Because thinking of the stranger in such way you did, romanticising his entire persona so only your image of him was left fantasising over and putting said image above your boyfriend, as though you painted a faith you wished for instead of the faith you possessed – it was dangerous, it put you in a state of uneasiness. Not only because you had promised Chan to try, but because being reckless when it came to love wasn’t always bound to end well. Being reckless towards another person – a mere stranger that might have no interest in you, that might only want a one-night fuck or less from you – was dumb, had to be incredibly stupid.

And then you set your right foot in front of your left one, and your left one up front again, until you reached the glassy doors of the balcony, until your fingers wrapped around the cold, metallic handle of it, until the warmth of stuffiness and the scent of alcohol welcomed you inside again. You weren’t thinking, not really. You didn’t have a plan in mind, let only your subconscious lead you – if to him or not you weren’t sure; your eyes, at last, were fixed on the stranger. Fixed on the man that was yet to see you, fixed on the man that was now standing alone in the middle of the tumult; as though a pillar of comfort in a room of inquietude. He shouldn’t be, shouldn’t have that effect on you. In all honesty, you weren’t sure if he was having any effect on you, after all – or if it was Chan who simply didn’t, and if you instinctively looked for the next best option. Another possible source of steadiness, because you were a coward, and feared to be alone the older you got.

Tranquillity. Momentarily the room, the stuffed four walls, the singing and laughing; all turned quiet. Silent. Because he had found your eyes, was staring right at them, through them. You thought that not one person you have crossed paths with ever looked at you the way he did – as though with sole interest and with absence of ulterior motives, and with an understanding that would turn irrelevant if spoken out loud. Understanding that could only be thought and would lose meaning if you questioned it too much. And in the same breath, you questioned how a stranger could possibly bear such understanding towards you. A familiarity almost, as if you’ve known the other already, as if you weren’t yet to exchange first words.

Your legs carried you instinctively, even if you wanted to flee from the scene, turn around and strut right back towards the entrance door and away from every single person in the room; it wouldn’t have been in your power. You have felt an urge prior in relation to the stranger – when you had first met him, when you had first laid eyes on his ones, when he occupied your mind and made it his own. There’s always been a pulling, a yearning when your mind wandered to him; like an itch you couldn’t scratch. And that feeling was at its climax, right this moment, when you came closer to him with every step you took. If someone asked you, you wouldn’t possibly be able to explain what it was that you were feeling. Maybe you did see something like salvation in him – felt that he might be the one capable of showing you real emotions, real love; hence the yearning. Maybe it wasn’t anything describable at all though, nothing that could be put to words, something inhumane. A yearning that would never ease off fully, or would with him only. You weren’t entirely sure – not about him, nor about you, and not about what was expecting you when you’d only walked up to him, stood before him. You weren’t entirely sure about anything. And yet you didn’t stop making your way towards his figure; the way he was standing in the middle of the room, unsureness, nervousness written in his body language, though eyes strictly held on yours.

And the little bit of sour aftertaste that the guilt left behind was barely enough to make you feel truly bad when you stood closest to him you have ever before. When you could lock eyes so intimately, when you could smell the subtle scent of his cologne on his porcelain skin. It was sweet but not too much, vanilla undertone but only the right amount. He smelled comforting. A bit like home, maybe.

“Hi.”

He looked utterly startled. Shocked. You were too, if you were honest with yourself – it was the first word ever exchanged, the opening, the first push to what could turn into something big. To what you felt would turn into something big – you had yet to decide if the thought was comforting or entirely horrified you.

You were sweet. Your voice was, calm and collected, though Hyunjin sensed hints of nervousness. You weren’t one to blame though – his hands were clammy with sweat and his knees came closer to pudding than actual skin and bones. It was such a simple word. Such a simple start to a conversation. Yet he wouldn’t ever have been brave enough to utter it. If for your supposed boyfriend or not – Hyunjin might have never had the courage to have broken the ice. Because truly, what would he say? That he was obsessing over you secretly, imagining a life with you before you had exchanged a word? That you had housed in his mind ever since he saw you, and that seeing your boyfriend on this night of all nights almost made him cry in front of hundreds of people?

And truly – what was he supposed to say now?

“H – Hi.”

Awkward, cringe worthy almost, but he went with it. And you were only looking back, as though deciding on your next words, maybe unsure what to say or scared to screw the conversation up. Though there was nothing, Hyunjin thought, nothing you could really do to make him lose interest. Not now, not anymore. Not after he’s got the littlest bit of taste of you.

The man’s voice was soothing. Laced in sweetness, sounding like dripping honey. It was intoxicating momentarily, and you found yourself wishing to hear that voice for the rest of days.

It felt surreal. Standing before him, talking – sparsely now but a first step was made. To hear his voice, watch his mimics, his movements, smelling him subtly against the mix of booze and sweat in the room – it felt so surreal that your knees dared to give out.

And the next moments rushed by in pure bliss. From the first introduction; “Uh– hi, I’m uh– y/n, sorry to be bothering you like this but… it’s probably dumb but I ,like, remembered you from a few weeks back, I think we crossed paths in the small store? Just wanted to say hi, really.” – who were you kidding, you knew exactly you had met in the small store.

And to receive an answer; “Oh yeah, I remembered as well…! I didn’t really– want to go up and talk to you, your… boyfriend… seemed quite mad from me only looking...” – a distressed chuckle from him and your expression had changed at the label, the name for the man who had been dancing behind you, and you were surprised the stranger even went as far as to mention Chan. In an awkward joke only, yet mentioned.

And then; “Oh yeah, don’t worry about him he– I guess he gets worked up easily.” – cringe yourself to a reddened face, feeling you have admitted more than you should have.

Though him, after a short break in which it seemed like he had analysed, your character or your words, yet giving no comment to your boyfriend and the answer you have given in relation; “My name’s Hyunjin. By the way.”

The conversation went well. Neither of you brave enough to address the elephant in the room – but then again, you couldn’t be sure the other would know what you were talking about. If feelings and the constant reappearing image of the other wasn’t mutual it would only turn things awkward. So, you simply didn’t mention and neither did he, both of you resolving to talking about things of less risky nature; which went surprisingly and utterly well. Words came naturally with Hyunjin, same interests and hobbies, values and morals settling their way into your exchange. It wasn’t hard to find next topics, wasn’t pushy or out of place when Hyunjin asked to bring you a drink. There was no shyness when the other cracked a joke, revealing the same humour, though undeniably there was mutual nervosity from you two. Because none wanted to say a wrong thing, none wanted to end up in awkward silence – though it seemed impossible. It seemed impossible to ever stop talking, to ever not know the next topic of a conversation, to ever grow out of interest and urging curiosity. It went on and on and on, the exchange of words, and the glow in your eyes shone brighter the more information was revealed.

And then there was something else. You weren’t sure if it was Hyunjin, the nature of his persona. Maybe he had that effect on anyone – maybe he had girls swarming around him at all times, maybe the feeling he brought, the aura when he only stepped into the room was intoxicating to most. Or maybe it was the effect he had justly on you – the impeccable need to touch him. To feel his skin on yours, not connect fingertips, to intertwine digits, to meet palms. To brush away the bits of messy dark hair that fell around his face, to glide your hand across his cheek. To feel the plushness of his lips, on your own ones or on various parts of your skin – you didn’t care. And every time you two stood closer the urge expanded. Grew harder to resist, and you needed a physical step back to not let your body have a mind of its own. Only then, only when establishing a certain distance between your bodies could you breathe again, think straight; relatively. Because you thought you would never learn entire calmness in his presence.

|||

She was intoxicating. Intoxicating in every sense the word allowed it to be, in every sense the word was. Truly, Hyunjin couldn’t quite grasp the luck he was blessed with to be talking to you today, if he was quite honest. Talking so easily to you, so freely, engaging so wholeheartedly, as if you haven’t just met moments ago, as if that wasn’t your first conversation. By the time you have talked for an hour without a break – only separating shortly to let Hyunjin pour you a drink, giving himself a freezing coke – he’d love to ease his nerves off a bit, but responsibilities called for something different – Hyunjin had forgotten about your boyfriend altogether, dismissed that you had come with another man at all. That maybe Hyunjin shouldn’t be talking this easily to you, this freely.

“Uhh, yeah, lately I’ve been lacking motivation though. Or maybe– maybe I’ve been lacking inspiration, rather.”

His answer had followed your fascination about Hyunjin’s occupation. Though not yet an artist, only an aspiring one, your eyes grew big and your jaw fell open when Hyunjin revealed his doing, his passion. He blushed upon your reaction, flattered that something so natural to him, something that was simply part of his persona for most of his friends, had you intrigued.

“Hmm, where do you get your inspiration from then, if you’re lacking it?”

Visible interest from your side, not simply polite conversation.

“Everything, honestly. Mostly from the things that happen around me, you know, surroundings, places… people.”

Locking eyes with you in hopes you got the hint, and the darkened tint on your face revealed that yes, you might have caught on. The rushed sip you took right after was indicator enough, and Hyunjin was pleased with himself; he wasn’t the big flirt, so hoped he did a good job when it came to you.

Not only has Hyunjin never been asked such question; most people that knew little about art rarely asked further to get to know the nature of it, and other ones, mutual-minded and further artists, knew all about the subject anyways. Knew where inspiration was taken from, knew the basic processes of an art piece coming together; no one in his field would ever ask him such question, would give him opportunity to vent from within his heart. So Hyunjin had never talked about such topic really, with anyone. About the things that drive him, the things that make his heart swell, that make him want to capture emotions onto canvas. Because either people were uninterested, or knew enough; you were the first and only one to ever poke deeper, into his soul or mind, he wasn’t sure. But it didn’t matter, not really, because you did poke, nevertheless. And he would pour his heart out to you anytime you did.

You hummed contently at his answer, eyes on him, as though determined to read the words his heart wrote. It got him shy, honestly. Got him giddy, a funny feeling spreading in the pit of his stomach, one that he hasn’t felt ever since his last high school crush; that’s how he felt, in your presence. Like a dumb-minded boy running on hormones, heart shaped, pink tinted glasses on his face and he solely got to know your name yet. The air as though smelled of pheromones in your proximity, made you irresistible; Hyunjin wondered if only he caught onto that, though. If only his body was torn and needed reminding that he couldn’t simply reach out to you and hold your arm, or place gentle fingers on your cheek, to tug a fallen strand of hair behind your reddened ear. That after all, you had come here with another man, and that flirting on his side shouldn’t be taken too far, that simply talking, getting to know you was perfectly fine, if you only allowed it; if not for the mind numbing effect you had on him. If it wasn’t impossibly difficult to keep his eyes on your ones without his head sending into spiral, if it wasn’t pathetic, the way he lapped up every slurred word that rolled past your lips. You had ignited something in him Hyunjin never felt before, and if not weeks prior when you had first met then surely at tonight's party.

It was strange, increased whenever his body was closest to you; the feeling similar to when you had first encountered, though undeniably stronger now, harder to ignore. And Hyunjin was simply left to question what it could possibly mean – were it only the beginnings of a crush, giddiness about another? It surely didn’t feel like it; too banal for how his heart was pulled by every bit of its strings, towards your direction, towards where you were standing at all times. He felt guilty; both for how little it took him to get to this point – sure, he was hopeless, he was a romantic, yet it didn’t change the fact that his behaviour was nothing if not desperate, pitiful. The other part of his guilt grew from the simple fact that the other man yet hasn’t disappeared from the overall scenario. He was still there, and somewhere on this party, most likely; if he went home alone, he’d be a blatant asshole, and something in Hyunjin told him that you wouldn’t settle for such.

And then you reached over the counter, to refill your red cup with a bit of soda, to ease off the bitterness in your drink – your naked arm close to Hyunjin’s, body only inches away from the other; and all guilt was blown away, brain short circuiting and urge setting off to various fibres in his body. You must have felt it, as well; for you froze in place, for only a moment but Hyunjin noticed, and you locked eyes with him vastly before taking the coke and hurrying to where you had been standing before, a bit further from him, comfortable space to hold conversation. A tension in the air now, a blush on each other’s faces, expressions blank and hinting confusion, questions. Until you coughed somewhat theatrically, playing off the creeping awkwardness that settled in the silence, and kept the conversation going. Easy as that, as though Hyunjin’s head wasn’t collapsing any passing moment he spent in your presence.

It wasn’t only the sensation he felt around you that stoke his interest; if he was honest with himself, if he shoved the reminder that you were taken to the back of his head – you were attractive. In a subtle way, Hyunjin thought. You had planned your appearance for today, surely, had put efforts into your make up, your outfit, your hair. You looked pretty, and Hyunjin had no doubt that you’d look just as attractive in your full natural form, right after waking up in the morning, or on days dedicated to relaxation. The way you talked was intriguing as well; whenever you asked Hyunjin a question your eyes sparked up, revealing interest. Whenever you laughed about a joke of his, your face lit up in utter content, giving Hyunjin a feeling pleased. And you were funny, witty, making Hyunjin laugh as well, making him blush and giggle. It would be embarrassing if he wasn’t simply happy to be talking to you.

He wondered how you must feel, if guilt plagued him already. It wasn’t in his favour to theorise about your relationship; it might be an open one, it might not be too serious, it might have any reason why you were talking to him instead of dancing with the other man right now. And yet he wondered if guilt did eat at you, if your mind was circulating not only around him, but around other matters; be it the man or simply the fear of being seen with a stranger. Though; your eyes weren’t wandering, weren’t searching the room for potentially getting caught; if that was something you were scared of, you left it unnoticed. Hence Hyunjin’s conclusion that maybe, just maybe, there was some hope that it wasn’t all that exclusive, that whoever this guy was wasn’t necessarily a big of an obstacle.

Until Hyunjin saw him in his peripheral vision.

The scenery changed quite drastically; from talking with you calmly, nothing but a feeling of comfort lacing the atmosphere, to suddenly clammy, thick tension in the air that stuffed the room with a disgusting aftertaste. Your boyfriend came up to you with big steps; it took a while until you saw him, were turned with your back to the direction he came from. Hyunjin saw from the get go that he wasn’t by any means violent, yet the dirty anger the man spread across the room of the house had Hyunjin’s senses on alert. It was dumb of him, he knew, that there was no risk in you getting hurt, no reason Hyunjin should truly worry about you – whoever the man was he wasn’t dangerous, that much was clear, was someone you knew and trusted, seemingly. And yet Hyunjin wasn’t all calm and collected. Not necessarily because the man shot him a jealous glare, not because you looked frightened, but because the situation that unfolded itself. There was a titillation of taking you away, taking you by your arm and leading you to somewhere clearer, quieter, better. To make you feel better; because Hyunjin knew that that place wasn’t in the arms of that man, your boyfriend or not. That the place better wasn’t who you currently were with, who was arguing with you now amidst confused people who started turning heads. Though maybe it was wishful thinking on Hyunjin’s side, delusions, as so often. You’d look him up and down with judgement in your eyes if Hyunjin as far as told you about the thoughts that spread his mind upon seeing you fight with your man.

He didn’t dare to interrupt, despite how much he wished to. Hyunjin let the scene happen, kept himself in the back, listening to the angry throwing of words, accusations; from his side as much as from yours.

“Oh, come on, you leave me alone on the balcony and I can’t look around for a friend to talk to?”

You tried to keep your voice down as much as possible with the booming bass ringing in your ears, tried not to gain attention from people around. With little success; drunks lapped up any bit of drama they could as banal as it was to them.

“You know why I’m pissed, don’t pretend you don’t?? We had just fucking talked about him outside, and then you’re fucking talking to him, fucking undressing him with your eyes- you think I didn’t see that??”

Hyunjin grew a whole shade darker. Being talked about in such a manner was both the part embarrassing as it was awkward, and the sour guilt that had occupied him shortly before settled back in. He’d been spacious with his flirting, as much as you had been you, in his opinion; it had rather been a conversation between freshly met people, though ulterior motives surely were involved Hyunjin would have argued that both of you managed to not show it excessively at all – though maybe not everyone saw it that way.

“Oh my god, Chan, let’s- let’s not do this here, alright? Let’s go home and fucking talk about it like adults, alri-“

You were frustrated; even from the little conversation Hyunjin heard it wasn’t frustration about this particular conversation, only. There was an exhaust in your voice that broke through like a dam, an annoyance, if towards your boyfriend or not it was unsure. And you were interrupted by him, rather rudely, a scoff leaving his lips.

“Oh yeah, talk about it like adults… the way we did before, huh? You promised-“, looking around, locking eyes with Hyunjin before his voice grew quiet, before he took you to the side, and before Hyunjin wasn’t able to follow the heated conversation anymore.

So – it was exclusive, after all. But Hyunjin couldn’t bring himself to feel bad, not really. He didn’t know all aspects of what had happened between the pair of you, not all sides of the story – but your argument had been valid. If your boyfriend – Chan, as Hyunjin now knew – hadn’t been wanting you to mingle with people he wouldn’t have disappeared for the duration of a whole hour and longer. Hyunjin had taken enough girlfriends to parties to know that staying together wasn’t necessary, wholly – and yet; it was oddly strange that you had ended up with so much free time on your hands, that your sweetheart of a boyfriend hadn’t noticed sooner of your absence if he was so displeased with the idea of seeing you with another. Maybe you were in the wrong as well, if only a slight bit, or maybe it was a sort of jealousy – but Hyunjin couldn’t shake off the icky feeling he had about Chan. It was nothing but immature and childish, yet he couldn’t change it. Not with the way Chan was gesturing his hands at you now, big and emotional, a bit aside from the main happening of the party, closer to the karaoke bar that was placed in the corner, and when your body language looked just as agitated, from Hyunjin’s ever same spot at the bar.

Now that you were standing further, the urge, the pulling of Hyunjin’s heart eased off, if only slightly. Enough to give him time to think, though, which came in handy. His mind was a mess, thoughts untamed and loud; for the nth time tonight he wished he was able to get some booze into his system. He was conflicted, if anything. Talking to you had been better than he could have imagined; it came without force, without worrying of next words that might screw up the mood, that might drive the conversation into awkwardness. You were sweet, interested, open. Made him feel comfortable, understood. Hoped he had the same effect on you. And then, in the same breath, he hoped he hadn’t. Hoped he had left you cold, if for the sake of your own happiness and anchor. Hyunjin’s heart hurt at the thought of being the one to cause trouble to your relationship; though not impressed with your man of choice, it was your choice after all – and if you were with him you must have a reason, must love him, or must have loved him in the past. The details didn’t quite matter, because being with him must have made you happy in one way or another, at some point in life – and to think that Hyunjin might have struck you in some way, might have ignited a fire in you was both an ego boost and as much a frustrating thought as they came. Because maybe he liked you enough already to be wanting to see you happy. And being the fuel to distress, to a heart wrenching break up wasn’t in Hyunjin’s favours.

Though maybe he made too much of himself. Maybe you had been only friendly, because he was too, because you had met shortly prior to this party. And maybe his wandering, yearning mind thought of himself to have had a bigger impact on you than you eventually concluded yourself – the possibility still stood that your intentions were only of friendly nature, and that Hyunjin was the epitome of embarrassment to think his sporadic attempts at flirting were possibly enough to break off any relationship. He was ludicrous, if anything.

“Fuck this, I’m leaving.”

Your presence was felt before it was seen; it would have made Hyunjin laugh if the scenery before him wasn’t as unnerved as it was. The itch he felt whenever in your presence settled itself in as a giveaway that you were near; it was strange, physically feeling the proximity of another person without quite a biological explanation for it, but a part of Hyunjin painted the thought into something utterly romantic.

You zoomed past Hyunjin, visibly shaken, emotional; the alcohol likely didn’t do you a favour tonight, either. You stood before him for a mere second, apologetic smile on your face which didn’t reach your eyes, and you kept walking, wordlessly, seemingly towards the door of the house. Hyunjin’s instincts were on high alert; you were intoxicated, if you had come with a car or not, you couldn’t possibly get behind the wheel now.

“Yeah leave then, I don’t fucking care.”

Chan walked back, into the depths of the party, back to concerned friends that all started patting his shoulder, leaning over his head to murmur reassurances. It was long after midnight, and your boyfriend wasn’t holding you back in getting home by yourself. Whether he was drunk himself or not; it baffled Hyunjin.

Said disbelief made his body react faster than his mind. Because surely, you might not be wanting to talk to him, seeing as he was the source of your argument, in one way or another; but your safety was the only subject on Hyunjin’s mind. If you wanted to see him or not, he couldn’t let you drive nor walk home by yourself. He could drive you home, call you a taxi; least he could do was stand beside you to know you reached home safe. No matter how much alcohol coursed your system, Hyunjin wouldn’t handle the matter mindlessly; in the heat of the moment and in anger you might end up making decisions that would go beyond the boundaries of your safety. Not only would Hyunjin never forgive himself for not having helped another; he would have surely beat up your asshole of a boyfriend for his carelessness.

Hyunjin hurried behind your ever dislodging figure, seeing how you made your way through the crowd, occasionally pushed by one dancing pair or two; all mumbling excuses before letting you continue towards the front door. Hyunjin was struggling himself, using elbows to shove people, not to hurt but to make way. He only called your name once you were out and in the cold – you walked without a jacket, bare arms and legs out in the chilly winter air, and Hyunjin only noticed then that his own jacket was still discarded in the entrance hall, somewhere inside the house; though he had little mind to pay to it now. You weren’t listening to his calls, continuing your way towards darkness, along suburban streets Hyunjin wasn’t sure you knew where they led to. It seemed like you were simply walking, past quiet houses, past dark houses; he could still hear the distant bass from somewhere behind him, a stark contrast to the rest of the neighbourhood. He fell into a light jog, to catch up behind you – it was a riddle to him how you were possibly walking faster than him, intoxicated and in heels. And with every step he made towards you his heart increased its pulling, its returning urge.

Eventually, he was close enough to reach your hand, an arm length away from you. You yet weren’t listening to the sound of your name; Hyunjin grew unsure if it was sheer anger and frustration or if he was the reason you didn’t turn around. He didn’t want to be, the mere thought of it set off an uneasy feeling in his gut; yet he couldn’t bear to think about the matter now. You weren’t thinking straight, clearly, and walking home at night wouldn’t do you any good. Hyunjin needed to take matters in his hands, as best as he could.

His hand stretched out, his fingers wrapped around your wrist; and he let go of you as fast as it was physically possible, not a second after. You turned around, finally acknowledging him, nothing if not shock drawing your features, mimicking Hyunjin’s own. For the feeling that stroke your bodies was one you couldn’t possibly explain with words of any language. Hyunjin has never been struck by lightning, but he’d argue that he felt the same sensation when your bodies touched, when you came skin to skin. Maybe more pleasant than electricity, but undoubtedly as powerful.

You only locked eyes, otherwise you were frozen. In place, in time. Not moving an inch of your body. If both of you had been unsure if what you had felt was inhumane; you hadn’t an ounce of doubt now. Because a feeling like this was entirely unnatural, wasn’t possible, not under biological manners. A tickling, an ich, a longing, a sensation of this gratitude wasn’t something that simply happened, that was simply felt like this; not between two bodies of two humans. A sensation that feared to knock out the breath of the other; though the word alone – sensation – would never be a big enough word, in the first place. No word would ever be for all words felt too banal for such volume of emotion and feel.

And if it wasn’t so forbidden, if the feeling, one that set off a tingling in the pit of your heart, one that ignited the embers that had only been shimmering in Hyunjin’s soul so far, if now his soul felt on fire, hot and burning, occupied by you solely – if it wasn’t so forbidden, he’d touch you again. Let shy fingertips dance against your shoulder, hold your hand and lay the palm atop his cheek. To feel if it was real at all, or if both of you had imagined something for the sake of self-sedation.But maybe you didn’t touch again, because both of you were scared. Scared that it was real; because it shouldn’t be.

@doll4hoon @iwannabangchan @hwangful @whatudowhennooneseesyou @inkybird @asters-abditory @seungminluv3 @skzddicted @marslovescats @berryblog @beautifullywrecked-aeris @moonlightcandy00 @hyynee @nightrayseishina @shrub31201 @sunny-nana @wednesdayswife @hyuneisbae @lovhyunj @ladytrbl @danyxthirstae01 @someoneinlovve @lili-kims-blog @rachagen @koorminii @good-soup3023 @shiru-chan @blahbluhblahbluh @laryisthinking @knisterlicht @studyingthemind @ppiri-bahng @septicrebel @channiesfavoritebrownie @midsoulz @foivetimesacharm @daceyena @yoonguurt @lovingeaglepeanut @hyuneyeon @therealhyunjingf @llunapastell

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muddyorbsblr · 1 year

Text

thots & theories :: loki season 2 episode 1

This post will contain spoilers for the first episode of Loki Season 2 under the cut so please if you haven't watched yet, then press Keep Reading at your own risk.

What you will find under the cut: Whoring out and the return of a side of me that I never actually thought would ever come out again…"Theorist Ally" 🥴🫡

Thots

Please tell me I wasn't the only one at risk of heading to the ER from choking after seeing that first shot of TVA agents chasing Loki down the hallway like besties & fellow whores I did not have "Marvel mercifully decides to leave the mango untouched" in my 2023 bingo card. But we actually got that shot in HD now and it's blowing my tiny whoring mind 🥵😮‍💨

And all the hair flips we got once he lands from a time slip with the tense jaw and neck muscles like Sir we're trying to feel for you and feel the urge to wrap you in a blanket and give you cuddles, but you're making it really hard not to think about [redacted]

Lemme just give y'all some shots that had me feeling all kinds of ways throughout this episode:

Thoughts

Something I really appreciated in this was that while Loki was concerned about how the time slipping looked to people witnessing it, Mobius was more concerned about how Loki felt experiencing it. Precious beb deserves to have someone that actually cares to that level and that bit just warmed my cold dead heart 🥹

In the same vein as above, Mobius' refusal to give up on Loki coming back until the last possible second and even begging OB to hold off a little longer really struck a chord with me because again, he now has someone that isn't just concerned about his well-being but also will believe in him even if everyone's going to tell them to give up 💖

The scene where OB was remembering new memories from his past in realtime during his conversation with Mobius in the present was something that I found insanely clever like let me tell you I was geeking out about it on my couch at 9am on a Friday morning

The sequences where Loki begins to realize in seconds where he's been yoinked off to in the timeline was a really good showcase of how smart our stabby boi is because he was using elements in his surroundings to form a timeline in his head to estimate where he was and he's doing all this under the pressure of not knowing when he's going to disappear again and under visibly excruciating pain 🥺💖

I'm living for the fact that B-15's part of the main group of characters and she really served that look of "are you fucking kidding me and right in front of my salad" when General Dox and X-5 were having their little moment.

Speaking of Dox and X-5…something's going on with those two and if y'all are thinking "mother/son" then lemme just nudge you in the direction of Oedipus Complex because…something about those two don't sit right with me 😖😖

The whole profound emotional moment with Sylvie finally feeling like she can breathe and not have to worry about running anymore and actually eat something that isn't something she hunted would have had the teeniest bit more impact if it didn't take place in a McDonald's but I gotta admit I too have once considered trying the entire menu 😂

Theories

Let's start off with my theories surrounding the scene where they fix the Temporal Loom because I have a feeling that we're going to be returning to that sequence and that setting quite a few times towards the end of the season. And with that sequence alone I have so many questions.

Like how did Sylvie get stuck in the elevator? Who pruned Loki that allowed him to return to his present timeline and also save Mobius in the process? Who's on the other end of the line on that ringing phone in the future? Why is General Dox sending troops upon troops of Minutemen to Sylvie's location and how is she even certain that where they're all headed off to is the location they're after?

So here's a few of my theories/predictions for what we're about to see as Season 2 plays out:

Loki prunes himself – I think we're going to revisit that scene where Loki gets pruned only from a more future Loki's point of view where we see that he's the one that prunes Episode 1 Loki so that he could be extracted and returned to his present timeline. He's the one holding the time stick.

General Dox is a tertiary antagonist – in the grand scheme of the season I think she and X-5 will probably at most be a nuisance with some firepower, but they're not the biggest threat after Kang, which leads me to…

OB is a secondary antagonist – I know I know we love him right now because he's fun and quite matter of fact, but hear me out. I think that his priority will be fixing the Temporal Loom which goes against what at least B-15 stands for because each branched timeline has countless lives living in them. He knows how the loom works and he knows how to repair it, so he puts that above all else to the extent where he could try and reconcile them all once again into a Sacred Timeline. Point is, he won't want the Loom to break.

Rennslayer and Kang are the primary antagonists…and maybe also Minutes? – that casual hard launch in the beginning scenes where Loki's in the past TVA hasn't left my mind and I think this is where we're headed

And now here's where I go tin foil hat and give my most out there theory that I hope won't happen but something tells me that it will.

So…y'all know how in Doctor Who, Clara Oswald sacrifices herself into the Doctor's timeline and splits herself into thousands (maybe even millions) of iterations of herself with the singular goal of saving the Doctor? She becomes a being that is destined to make that decision again and again because the Clara that jumped into the timeline was a life that's probably already been created as a result of that very sacrifice?

That type of circular infinite path of life is like the snake that's forever doomed to eat its own tail in a circle until the end of time. That concept and that symbol is called an Ouroboros.

And now that I've given that long winded intro here's the part where some of you are about to click off and call me delulu and you know what valid but if you're still here and you wanna see the clown show here we go:

Loki will become an Ouroboros

I don't think this episode was just titled "Ouroboros" because we're being introduced to OB. I think there was a more profound meaning to the episode title, that meaning being that this is the path that Loki's headed down. I think he sacrifices himself in the scene where he faces the Temporal Loom without a protective suit on and this will cause him to split into infinite versions of himself throughout the timelines. And one of these infinite versions will find himself in the Future TVA where he sees the Loki from Episode 1 running in search of a time stick.

Now I can already hear some of you going "But Ally why would he do that?" And I'm going to pull from Loki's words directly to explain what his motive could be to do such a thing:

"I want to save my friends"

Now with all that being said, I'm totally open to other theories and I genuinely hope that my big theory is not correct because I really don't like that that's the route my brain went when trying to connect the pieces.

Gonna go and tag some usual suspect besties in this (and not gonna put this into the series tag because self preservation): @gigglingtiggerv2 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @coldnique @peachyjinx @gruftiela @lokisgoodgirl @loopsisloops @give-me-a-moose @lokischambermaid @tallseaweed @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @joyful-enchantress @november-rayne @ladyofthestayingpower @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @liminalpebble @simplyholl +++

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odd-drive · 1 year

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what was your first computer?

Oh I love this question - thank you for asking!! I hope that I see more questions like this around our beautiful old-techie tumblr corner!! Just for reference - I'm 24 so my computers aren't too "vintage!"

The first computer I remember looks a little like this one: I remember the huge chunky monitor and the way the button pushed in on it, and the stackable IBM pc underneath. I remember the speakers' feel and how they were always just a little dusty. And y'all KNOW I was taking out that mouse ball and gently touching and playing with it!

In fact, just another aside - sitting at this computer and playing a Blue's Clues game was my very first memory. I must have been 3 or 4.

The next guy shown is what looks like the tower of my first pc - one that my dad built for me on the dining room table (which might be one of my biggest regrets - to not have had him teach and show me what he was doing at the time!). It got put into my room at the age of... 10-12? Pretty young! And boy, did I see many things on the Internet I shouldn't have lol.

Sorry I don't have too much more information about these!

The next guy shown is the Lenovo g780 and it was my first laptop! I got it in the 8th grade. It was a weird brown color and it never left my bedroom, or my lap for that matter lol. It was the machine that I started obsessively using tumblr on as well!! It was almost 18 inches, so it was hard to lug around lol. I got to help revive it a couple times - replacing the fan and the screen at one point or another.

Just for funzies! This is my current battlestation: the Dell G15. I personally think that Dell is super underrated in the computer market - they're known more for officeware of course, but they own Alienware! My laptop has the same hardware as the newest gaming rigs (Don't wanna brag, but I've got a G3800! in this baby!) and it wasn't nearly as expensive thankfully. I use it to program and play lots of games on the daily (although I've been using my PS5 a lot lately!!). I haven't seen seen a game that runs poorly on it... yet.

And also!! Under my desk currently lies a 2002 iMac G4 - known colloquially as the Sunflower computer! It's my BFF's childhood computer - she and her family lovingly gave it to me to revive! It's one of those many ongoing projects in my life that I wish I had more time for... I need to replace the hard drive and give it a super full cleanout. The neck on the monitor is also broken and could use a repair. One interesting thing about this computer is that Apple was getting real creative with their designs around this time (which... I wish desktop design was still super innovative :'( ) and the hardware is all jammed in this weird semi-globe container? So it's unlike any other computer interior and... how exciting is that to dig around in and restore?!

Thank you to anyone that's read through all of this!

#my posts #old computers #techcore

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onyx-archer · 4 months

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Open World, Shallow Structure: A Look at Zelda and It's Future

Originally, I was going to make my next post about another Life is Strange game, but I've been in a bit of a Zelda mood thanks to playing around with the Ocarina of TIme/Majora's Mask Combo Randomizer, so I wanted to talk about the Zelda series for a minute. As the title would suggest, I wanted to talk about Zelda's current open world direction, why I'm not a fan, and where I think it could improve.

As this is more about game design and less about story, spoilers will be minimal, but present. Just assume that I'm expecting you to be familiar with most Zelda games and their stories, and that I'll mention things from them when I think it's relevant. I'm going to be citing things from the 3D Zelda titles especially, because 2D Zelda is a different beast, but I'll mention things about them when necessary to illustrate a point. I'll put this under the cut cause it's gonna be long, but I have a lot of thoughts.

I also want to say up front that if you like the modern style of Zelda seen in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, that's great! You saw something in those games that I didn't, and I don't want to take that away from you! I just want to talk shop about Zelda's current struggle with game design as a fan who's been playing these games since they were like, 6.

With that, you know the drill, go under the cut if you wanna keep reading.

When I first played Breath of the Wild, I want to be real with y'all for a minute: I put it down after a few hours. I had basically gotten to the point where I was on my way to Zora's Domain, got side-tracked by some Shrines and other stuff, and got bored. What a lot of people see as an adventure full of wonder just felt like I was being side tracked by things that ultimately didn't matter. I've since beaten the game, and even 100%'d it, which is something I'd never recommend anyone sane do more than once.

Cards on the table: I haven't really touched Tears of the Kingdom in any real capacity yet. I watched some people play it, and asked a friend who is a diehard Zelda fan what he thought, and both things lead to the same conclusion: it's just Breath of the Wild 2.0. Which, I mean, duh, of course it was, that's a game that a lot of people liked, and so Nintendo would have to be pretty freaking dumb to not capitalize on that. Even I was initially positive about the choice, because I had thought that since they were going to be building off of the base of a game as beloved as BotW, that we'd see something like a "Majora's Mask" to BotW's "Ocarina of Time" in a lot of ways. In some ways, we got that, but in most ways where I think it mattered, we didn't.

So how can I judge a game I really haven't played? Well, it's built off of one I have played, so I can look at it through that lens. I can also take what I've heard from friends who have played it into consideration. With those things in mind, I've come up with a few core problems that I have with the current direction of Zelda that I hope are righted when the next game comes out in like, 7 years (cause let's be real, it's gonna be a long while before the next big game hits).

The Dungeons:

A big sticking point for a lot of more classic fans of the Zelda series that has yet to actually be remedied is the dungeons. More specifically, how the two most recent titles (not counting the Link's Awakening remake and the Skyward Sword remaster) don't really have tightly designed dungeons. I believe this is a consequence of the open-ended design, and the fact that the developers have leaned too hard into "solve the puzzles in any number of different ways" to allow for that tight design.

Zelda dungeons in the past, for the most part, are a combination of combat encounters and puzzle rooms, with a sense of exploration as you move through them. While I feel as though the combat aspect has been preserved to a degree, everything else is just lacking.

The combat in Zelda pre-Skyward Sword was pretty basic for the most part (just whacking guys with glorified sticks), and this is something that Breath of the Wild has objectively improved in a lot of ways. Combat just feels better, even if there's objectively a lot of jank when managing the inventory to swap between weapons. The only part of combat that is outright trash is the weapon degradation, which I'll cover later.

However, there is one thing that has been lost in this, and it ties into the puzzle element: boss fights.

Bosses in Zelda's past are basic in certain respects, but have layers that lean into the puzzle solving component of the game design. Usually, the bosses require you to play into the dungeon gimmick, which usually involves the tool you get in said dungeon, or in the lead up to the dungeon, which is the case for something like Bongo Bongo in Ocarina of Time. While sure, a lot of this leads to pretty obvious design quirks that make the bosses less challenging overall for some, and lead to mixed results as the series went on, the bosses did more than test your mettle, they tested you on the tools you have.

For every item that has limited use like the Spinner in Twilight Princess, there are items that have utility in ways beyond their dungeon of acquisition. This is typically for staples like the Bow, the Bombs, the Hookshot, etc, but it can also be for things like the Gust Jar or the Beetle from Skyward Sword. Yeah, they aren't as universally useful, but they are still useful, and can be used to add puzzle variety. Beyond just using the tool to exploit a weakness in the boss, they had other uses, and while some were definitely more limited than others, it was still some use.

Modern Zelda has decided that puzzles should be solvable in ways tied to the tools you get during the tutorial for the most part, and I think this has lead to the degradation of feeling of solving a puzzle. While sure, there are times when open-ended solutions to puzzles feels satisfying, it also leads to situations where the player can just cheese an answer, and while that may satisfy some in a creative sense, it leaves the people who want to solve head scratchers feeling like they wasted their time trying to think how the developers wanted the puzzle to be solved.

The fact that BotW and TotK puzzles can be solved in a number of ways, but also really only expect the player to have the tools they got during the tutorial area makes the puzzles feel... flat, for the lack of a better term.

This, in tern, makes the design of dungeons feel less satisfying to explore, because it has lead to the designers basically making all of the dungeon "find X number of keys to open the door to the boss." Yeah, classic Zelda was that at it's core, but the puzzles, while certainly not super complex because of their target audience, often had variety in ways that the modern ones just don't. That variety masked the blatant "find keys" part of the journey, which I feel is so obvious in the modern games that it sucks the sense of wonder exploring the dungeons used to bring. From what I've seen of TotK, this problem is made worse because the game just tells you that you need to find 5 things to unlock a door up front, and that's just kinda lame.

I'm not going to pretend the puzzles in OoT are complete brain ticklers, but they had some fun solutions. Opening the door to the boss of Dodongo's Cavern involved a simple riddle about dropping bombs into the eyes of a giant Dodongo Skull to open it's mouth. It was a fun concept that was really only used once in that game, and it sticks out in my memory to this day. Most of the puzzles in BotW, by contrast, are less interesting outside of the moment you're doing them because they mix the same assets together so much that it all bleeds into one amorphas blob.

Shrines only further make this a problem, because the Shrines have you do these sorts of puzzles outside of dungeons, making them less creative overall over the course of the game. There's only so many times you can have me use Magnesis or Statis Launches to solve similar set ups before I get bored. I do like the idea of Shrines, but there are too damn many of them!

Also of note is the lack of meaningful rewards for doing the Shrines or the Dungeons. Sure, the Shrines give you a resource that lets you increase your Health and Stamina, but that's really it. The chests are largely worthless because they hold weapons that break (at least in BotW), or other things you can just farm from enemies, or just buy. I don't feel rewarded for using my brain, I feel like I'm going down a checklist for some more health. Heart Pieces often had some kind of puzzle or series of things you needed to do to get them, but they felt so much more rewarding because the feeling of getting 4 of them (or however many you need in other games) gave you a satisfying little jingle that hit you with some dopamine like "Look at you! You got a little stronger by using your skull spaghetti!"

My Proposed Solution:

Simply put, my solution is to cut the Shrine number down by half, and make only half of them doable out of the gate. Then I'd use those resources to make unique, tightly design dungeons that give you a unique tool that you can use to solve puzzles with that won't break, and allow those items to be woven into puzzle solutions.

This way, you get some puzzle elements that are open-ended that you can logic out however you want, and then you get some puzzles that have more specific, guided solutions that test your knowledge of the tools you have. You can walk into a Shrine, see a thing that you can't do, and go "okay, there's a tool I need to be able to do this, but I don't have it yet," and know that you'll be able to come back to it later for a puzzle that tests your knowledge as you acquire more tools.

Dungeons could then have more time dedicated to giving them a unique theme and vibe. Unique assets, and a proper sense of wonder that makes them feel worthwhile. Dungeons, I feel, should be guided experiences that progressively introduce new ideas to test the player, rather than just be open ended boxes that have like 5 puzzles that are solved in similar ways to previous puzzles you've likely solved to open a door. They should have a sense of place and spectacle.

Personally, if we were to use the world of BotW/TotK as the basis, I'd have each dungeon reflect the ancient versions of the races civilizations and cultures. Basically, double down on the whole Ancient Sheikah idea, and apply it to the other races of Hyrule. I'd love to see something like an ancient mine of the Gorons teaming with gems and Dodongos, or the dilapidated sunken remains of an ancient Zora city, just to name a few basic things. Pull from the series past and history to create places oozing with cultural atmosphere that stimulates a sense of wonder, but also filled with dangers that excite those seeking the thrill of adventure.

2. The Story

While I am aware that TotK vastly improved the story being told compared to BotW, I think it can't be denied that the open-ended approach to the story is hurting the pacing of things immensely, and leads to a lot of awkward scenarios. The fact that you can view the memories out of order in both BotW and TotK is insane to me, but that's not the only issue.

While open-ended open worlds are good for gameplay stuff, it has taken a toll on having the story of Zelda feel like it has much substance. Sure, you can sit there and say TotK story is good if you sit down and focus on it, but that's the problem: because you can do things in any order, the story loses a lot of traction. I've seen the cutscenes for completing the dungeons in TotK, and the fact that you basically see slightly different versions of the same thing, but with a different narrator, is what I'm talking about.

I personally think that the story is too loosely strung together in these titles because they feel they have to be for the sake of immersion or something, but that is silly to me. You can have an open-ended game that has structure to a plot that is less open, because other devs have been doing it for years. Older Zeldas have done it, to a degree.

Older Zelda titles often did expect you to follow a path the designers laid out for you, but that's because stories often need that kind of structure to be told in any sort of cohesive way. It's like playing a tight game of D&D, where the DM is allowing the players some flexibility, but is still going to guide the players down a path toward some sort of conclusion. The path to that ending may be slightly different, but there are still plot beats that get to that conclusion that occur in a certain order. It's a lot of work, but often leads to satisfying campaigns. And I'm speaking as someone who doesn't care much for D&D.

I think Zelda needs to have a loose, but still very much guided structure. Part of the reason I get so bored playing BotW when I do play it is that the game gives me so much freedom to do whatever, and no real sense of direction outside of a few map markers for the areas you need to go for the main quest. Yeah, that can feel liberating, but it makes it feel more like I'm wandering around in the dark, and less like I'm on a grand adventure, y'know?

I don't want things to go full blown Skyward Sword, where you're effectively on rails, have have to do basically everything in the order the designers wanted you to, cause that feels bad in Zelda too. I think the story should set itself up in such a way where the player is limited to a small pool of possible events that can be seen in any order, but all need to be completed to access the next pool of things, which could be larger. Much like how both Link to the Past divides the game between the 3 Light World dungeons and 6 Dark World dungeons with a trip to Hyrule Castle, or how Ocarina of Time requires you to get the Three Sacred Stones before you can do the Temples for the Medallions.

Events in the stories, as they are, feel like they expect that any dungeon should be your first, and there are only a small handful of dungeons. This, in theory, would be fine, but because each dungeon has to act as though you've never seen things before, it leads to very stale narrative presentation long term.

There's also another small issue that's eating away at the story of the games: the reliance on Ganon.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Ganon/Ganondorf when he's done well, and he was several times in the past. I understand he's the big bad of the series, and he'll always be around, but he's been something of a stain on the series' ability to tell unique stories for a while. This was highlighted in Twilight Princess first, where he sort of just comes in and kicks Zant, a villain who was super imposing and interesting, to the curb for the sake of a lame twist. This was lame, sure, but I really don't like their reliance on Ganon in these recent games.

I could put up with it in BotW, because the game is ultimately about dealing with the Calamity, which is Ganon's essence of corruption given shape. It was dumb and basic, but BotW was sort of basic on purpose in a lot of ways with it's story, so I didn't mind. But with TotK? I feel like they just brought him back because it was easy, and because there are a lot of thirsty Ganondorf fans out there. I just see his inclusion after dealing with Calamity Ganon as a blight on what could have been a much cooler narrative.

My Proposed Solution:

As I mentioned above, I think the goal should be to apply a degree of limitation to the player in how much they can accomplish as they progress. This means there are only so many scenarios the game has to account for. If we, say, limit the player to the classic 3 "starter" dungeons before letting them go into the next batch, then it makes things easier to write around. Have each dungeon be tied to a thing going on in the area that is connected to the main plot, but serve as a piece of a larger puzzle.

Then, I'd establish a simple check: if the Player is visiting, say, the Goron Mines first, then they'll get a slightly different cutscene than if they did the Goron Mines after the Lost Zora City, to account for the idea that the player has already seen some of the set up already. Basically, have the stuff the player experiences be told in a set order in slightly different ways, depending on when the player experiences it sequentially, and adjust in accordance to the order to avoid unnecessary repetition of ideas being conveyed. That way, when Link gets insight into the broader narrative, it feels like a puzzle being solved, but the stuff surrounding that insight is focused on the area.

As for Ganon, it's a pretty simple thing: just don't use him for a little while. Again, I get he's the big bad of the franchise, but we've seen other villains in the series work. Even having a devout follower of Ganon take over and try to resurrect him for a game would be fine, if a bit cliche at this point. Let's see Vaati come back maybe? Or another interesting original villain like Majora/Skull Kid? I still want to learn more about lands besides Hyrule, and a unique villain from Ganon gives us plenty of opportunity to explore those lands.

Speaking of...

3. Hyrule

I don't think it's at all controversial to suggest that Hyrule's map in TotK makes it less satisfying to explore for a lot of people. Sure, there are new areas to check out in a post-Calamity Ganon world, and the added the Depths and the Sky Islands... but I mean, it still kind of sucks that 90% of the map is just a copy/paste job.

Beyond that, I've developed a bit of a pet peeve with the Zelda series and it's use of Hyrule. While I completely understand that it's the primary setting, and that's not really something I'm looking to change or anything, I just miss when we got other places to explore, y'know?

Majora's Mask has Termina, the Oracle games have their own countries, and even Tri Force Heroes has it's own unique setting, and that's just scratching the surface. I love when a Zelda game takes us outside of Hyrule to see other parts of the world, even if it just has a bunch of things that make it feel like a remixed version of Hyrule at it's core. Termina is like this, but I still want to go back there and explore how things have changed since then, y'know?

I don't really have a solution for this issue, I just really think they need to be willing to go outside of Hyrule more often... especially with the next game, just to have things feel fresh again.

4. Weapon Degradation and UI

I don't know about y'all, but I hate the weapons I'm using breaking, but having no real way to repair them. Sure, I know you can often find duplicates or, in the case of TotK, you can just build a new copy of the thing you like, but I still hate it.

A lot of this is compounded by the fact that a lot of chests just contain weapons that will break after a few uses, and it just makes the act of fighting things feel more tedious. I know some would say it adds a degree of tension, but I and many, many others don't like it. It says a lot about the system that when you disable it via cheats, BotW becomes more fun.

The UI doesn't make this any better. Cycling weapons and shields feels clunky as hell, and selecting which arrows you are shooting from the bow is just... why is it so bad!? And how did TotK make that WORSE!? Crafting in TotK is neat, sure, but when you have to individually combine the item you want to each nocked arrow, and the menu is that bad, you have to ask how that got out of beta. I dunno if it's been fixed since then, and I don't really care.

My Proposed Solution:

Here's the thing, all I want is to have 2 things in the case of the weapons breaking.

Thing 1: A permanent set of things you can upgrade over time that never breaks, and only needs to be sharpened or something, but lacks special attributes that make the breakable stuff worth a damn to use.

Thing 2: The ability to use materials to repair/maintain the weapons you like.

The simple thing to fix the UI is actually just to have a weapon wheel that you save the things you like onto in the positions you want them, and to have a tab button to cycle to less used stuff. Basically, just do what Ratchet and Clank did 20 years ago.

As far as arrows are concerned, just let the player craft them in the inventory, and have the Bow weapon wheel have a way to cycle which type of arrows you want to use. Easy. It'd still be a touch clunky, but you'd not have to deal with scrolling through a list, and that's just objectively better.

The wheel would also apply to Tools/Abilities like Runes. Just hold hold the button, and then use one of the sticks to cycle around the wheel. Simple.

Honestly, this post got a little long, but hopefully people see where I'm coming from. I don't really have much of a point beyond what's stated above, but I'll try to end this off with something to think on.

Zelda's current direction has been a bit contentious with some of the older fans, and while I think BotW and TotK are respectable games, and they offer new life to a series that was admittedly losing a fair bit of it's steam, it's frustrating how there are some things that just feel like simple, elegant fixes to the new formula that'd bring it more inline with what classic fans like myself would like more. I don't think what I'm asking for is that much (especially with the UI stuff). I'm not really out here demanding that they bring back something like the transformation masks (though if there was a game like BotW and TotK, but they replaced Runes with Transformations like those of the masks from Majora's Mask, I'd probably give the game a 20/10 out of pure bias for Majora's Mask), I just want the game to feel more like the Zelda I grew up with, rather than this sort of bland open world with a Zelda skin that it's become.

As it stands, modern Zelda is starting to feel less like a grand adventure, and more like I'm wandering through the woods without a map or a compass while it's super foggy out, and finding table scraps rather than neat treasure. I might make a post about what I'd do with a hypothetical Zelda game in the future. I've got a handful of ideas, but this post is too long as it is... so... yeah, that will be done later. Maybe.

#The Legend of Zelda #TLoZ #Problems with Zelda #Zelda Games #BotW #TotK #Breath of the Wild #Tears of the Kingdom #Ocarina of Time #Majora's Mask #Game Design #maybe #Onyx Rambling #Zelda Analysis #or at least I'm going to pretend it's analysis #Onyx Analysis #Future of Zelda

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oneluckygoose · 2 months

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O'Knutzy Week Day 4

AHHHH DAY 4 MY FAVORITE OF EVERYTHING, ALL OF THESE FICS ARE SO GOOD Y'ALL!!!! [Again, this is a scheduled post and was written in June :')]

Credits to the writer, the myth, the LEGEND, @lumosinlove for all of these lovely characters and to @oknutzy-week-2024 for just being wonderful, (I'm sure they are, I don't actually know them, I've put them through enough at this point with the hell it is to schedule these things, and they haven't yelled at me yet, so I take that as a win)

Part two of my racing fic When We Can't Pretend (the name will probably make more sense now, poetic title and all) is out officially now, congrats to everyone who didn't read it yesterday as well. To all those who did, how'd ya like it? As with all Harvard Era FinLo, things are good and happy until they really aren't, this is the "really aren't" part, fair warning. ANYWAY, enjoy!

Summary: Finn confronts Logan about what happened in the car a few hours earlier and he gets his soul crushed.

Characters: Finn O'Hara, Logan Tremblay, Percy Lastname

Warnings: Cursing, Pain, Mentions of Past Injury, and emotional damage

Word Count: 2,096 (Preview of 238 under cut)

“Now explain to me again about this ‘natural talent?’” Percy questioned as they all settled at a table. They had decided to go to the nearby country club for dinner: it was large, doubled as a weird rich hangout, but it was supposed to have some good food, with a nice eating area. “I told you, not natural,” Finn retorted, rolling his eyes, “My grandparents lived next to a track up in Maine. Me and Alex would race all the time when we were up there for the summers.” Focus, focus, focus, Finn’s mind screamed at him as Percy kept talking. God, Finn couldn’t stop thinking about Logan, his mouth, his hands, the fire in his lips. It didn’t help that Logan was now pressed up against him in the tight booth. A waitress came up to get their drinks, and soon the conversation moved on from the racing. Finn could feel Logan beside him, reaching his hands up constantly to mess with his hat. It drove Finn wild, but he kept his eyes anywhere but Logan. He couldn’t look. Something, something, simmered inside of him; he couldn't name what, though. It got stronger every time Logan elbowed him, or threw his hand around his shoulder, or simply acted like everything was normal. Like Finn couldn’t still feel Logan’s hand in his hair and his teeth and tongue. It hurt, this game of pretend they were both playing.

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inkybloom-luv · 1 year

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Words Unsaid 3, the crumpled page

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Ahsbjsbsjs putting this A/n here today?? Ausbshshs I hope y'all eat this one up too ngl cause the feedback has been,, immaculate sjsbsjsbshshshshdh not over it at all y'all make me giggle and kick my feet <33333

Can be read as x reader since I don't usually put the name down

635 words

Part 1 Part 5

Part 2 Part 6

Part 4 Part 7

tw: mention of near death (drowning)

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

It's been a while since I wrote a letter, I misplaced the last paper and cannot find it, so I'm starting a new one. I wish I had very much more to say but I haven't been seeing you and I've been so exhausted I've reached my breaking point. Heck. I almost drowned, simply because the water breathing potion wore off early. I guess being out of this world does that. But it hasn't stopped me from panicking. I'm recovering fine but it's very lonely in ramshackle. I already mentioned I have barely any friends and the ones I do have are very busy. Jack comes from time to time and Leona sends Ruggie to check on me. Winter holidays are starting soon. Will you be leaving? I hope I'll see you before you do. I want to look at you again, see those pretty eyes one more time before you're gone for a while.

I'm not sure it's a crush that I feel for you. I'm not saying I would see you as a friend or anything, I definitely feel romantic feelings for you, but my concern is they feel.. stronger than a simple crush should. I long to kiss you, hold you. I want you to love me as I do you. Jamil Viper, you have my heart.

I've made up my mind to visit Scarabia today. I heard the dorm is staying here. I want to see you. I need to see you. I'm so happy to see you.

The housewarden Kalim had something floating around his eyes when he was acting up. A spell. But I haven't seen it before. It was odd, pretty even. It reminded me of you but I've hardly a clue what spell it is, when I get back to ramshackle, I'll be researching, surely that spell is the cause of your woes. And I will find out what it is, if only to slightly lighten the burden placed on you. You who is like a walking dream, the most wonderful of desert mirages. I wish I could tell you to your face.

The paper was crumpled and slightly ripped at the edges. Ink had somewhat covered a large portion of the paper that held scribbles about theories of what was going on, and further ramblings about just how beautiful the writer thought he was, how they longed for him, loved him even. And it was not Inky that held it. Dark eyes skimmed the text that grew more and more unreadable. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Blast it all. Hissing filled his ears. Hissing that was not there. His mind played tricks, not yet recovered from the heavy strain his body had been under. He hated it all, hated how he had accidentally blinded himself. How he'd overlooked something so obvious, she did always wear her heart on her sleeve.

He wished he could read more, but he'd dripped it full of ink. He'd crumpled it. He'd thrown it aside. By coincidence it wound up in his grasp again when he had returned to Scarabia, sitting down to rest his aching and unrecovered legs.

Jamil messed up. He really did. He felt blind and stupid and most of all he felt crushed, he was sure that the prefect no longer felt that way about him. He was sure she hated him now. How else would anyone feel if they'd have done to them what he'd done to her? For the first time he deeply regretted lashing out at someone. His anger wasn't even directed at her. He felt his eyes glaze over, blinking away his tears. It was his fault. But maybe. Maybe he could express himself, his sorrow and his apologies. He would have to. If only to selfishly soothe the painful feeling in his chest.

♪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♪

@leonistic

@azulashengrottospiano

@dove-da-birb

@krenenbaker

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splinter-cat · 2 months

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Hello! I just wanted to say that i've been reading beasts in blue on AO3 and i'm very interested in the story and characters!

Beau and rowan's relationship has such interesting complexities and i can't wait to discover more :)

I also wanted to ask out of curiosity if you have any rules to name the characters? For example do you look up for the meaning or do you just pick what sounds right?

And do the characters have voice/face claims (even drawn and not irl people)?

I hope you have a nice day

Thank you so much! <3 I'm really enjoying writing their relationship so I'm glad y'all are enjoying reading it.

For naming, I actually don't go by meaning most of the time, moreso the sound. Like do I like the flow of this name and does the sound fit the character, etc. Beau is a very different sound than say, Zack, for example.

Other than that, the way I find names to look at is on Behind the Name, there's a name popularity page where you can sort by year. I look at names popular around the time the character would have been born and choose one I like off that list that's somewhere around the top 200. That helps me find one that doesn't sound too out of place for their age.

For surnames I go to the Behind the Name surname site and pick off their top 1000 list. Often, I'll use a random number generator and go until I find one I like.

Once I've got a name put together, I google google google to make sure there's not like, a celebrity or other well-known person with that name haha.

Though one exception to my naming schemes is Rowan! I don't remember how I picked his first name, it might have just come to me, but his last name is inspired by a detective I really enjoy, Jack Mooney on Death in Paradise. :D (Also, I must admit there was a little bit of punny-ness going on with Mooney working with a werewolf, haha.)

As to faceclaims, you might notice a pattern in them, haha. I watch a lot of crime shows, which is actually what initially inspired the story! When I first thought of it, it was more of a buddy comedy "haha what if a werewolf got assigned to the K9 unit" kinda joke, but then I thought about the implications of a world like that. And it ended up being a great premise for whump, which is something I wanted to get into. Along the way, it went from being something to write random oneshots in and gained an actual story. I ended up deciding to make it a bit of a takedown of copaganda shows, because as much as I love watching them, there's definitely a lot of issues with them. So this is my cathartic take on them. :)

Putting the faceclaims under a cut because I know some folks prefer to keep to their own faceclaims:

So not every character has a faceclaim because I just haven't encountered one that works for me yet, but some characters were initially inspired by certain actors.

Rowan Mooney: Naveen Andrews as Ashok Ramsey on Law and Order: SVU

So Rowan's appearance actually took a bit to decide on because I didn't have a fully formed image of him in my mind when I started the story. However, I was at the time doing a binge watch of SVU and saw the episode "Shadow" that Naveen Andrews guest-starred in. My brain immediately went "that guy, he's the vibe I've been looking for!" haha. So he's the inspiration for Rowan's look.

Bonus gif since I couldn't find one of his SVU role:

Mitchell Cooper: Walton Goggins as Boyd Crowder on Justified

Honestly, Boyd Crowder was the inspiration for Cooper right from the start. I'm often playing his lines back in my head, going "Does this sound right in his voice/accent/mannerisms?" As many horrible things as Boyd does on Justified, he was a super entertaining villain, and that's how I feel about Cooper, too, haha. He's just fun to write!

Douglas Owens: Corey Reynolds as David Gabriel on The Closer

It's actually been a while since I watched The Closer, but Gabriel was pretty much my first thought when I was deciding to make Owens. Now, Owens would be a bit younger, maybe, but generally his look is what I'm thinking of. :)

Fabian Rivero: Jonathan Del Arco as Fernando Morales on The Closer/Major Crimes

Morales is one of my favorite medical examiner characters, so of course he's who I thought of first when I needed to make an ME. :D

Frank Warren: Dann Florek as Donald Cragen on Law and Order: SVU

Ok, this one isn't fully set in stone or anything, since I mostly described/wrote Warren without thinking of him. But when I'm picturing a scene, he's largely who I've got for imagining the voice of Warren.

Sadly, other characters don't really have faceclaims! For example, for Beau, I have such a specific image in my mind that I haven't found anyone who really works yet. Same goes for Sidney. Shannon has vitiligo, so while I do have someone I think of to get her voice right (someone I knew IRL so not an actor I could share), I haven't found anyone who matches her appearance properly.

If I do encounter faceclaims for the others, I'll make another post tagged faceclaims so folks can see!

#splinter answers #Anonymous #beasts in blue #faceclaims #slight edit on formatting and fixing sources #I forgot Gabriel wasn't on Major Crimes

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acanvasofabillionsuns · 2 years

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first tintin day of 2023 whoo!!!!!! i haven't been on tumblr much today so i haven't reblogged ms edorazzi's art yet but i'm so so excited to 👀

speaking of new year things i watched the bm&am 2022 video!!! it was hilarious, i had such a good time <33

okay y'all i wore SUCH a cute outfit today!!! i was SO so cute like y'all don't even KNOW, i was so cute <3 and i wore the heels that i was planning to wear a couple weeks ago but couldn't bc weather?? SO cute you guys

i made an omelette!! it was a bit of a mess but it tasted good <3

and then my fam brought me cookout for lunch! they got me a peach milkshake and i have not actually eaten it yet* but i'm looking forward to doing so on like. tuesday**

*i finished off my cookie dough instead!! yum yum yum so good <33

**we have dnd tomorrow!! i'm so excited !! i have a bag of pineapple gummy bears saved to snack on while we play a;lkjdfsl;kf

there are these really good rolls that my family likes a lot and we had them with dinner tonight <3

i had more of the tea i had last night!! it's a new flavor for me but it's really good :]

i played minecraft with my sister!! we made a world together a few days ago and our spawn point was in a forest so we have been constantly under attack 😫 it's really fun though, and we just made a second bed so we can sleep through the nights now

also played skipbo with the whole family!! it was p fun? kinda more chill than highkey enjoying myself y'know, but it was neat to play with everyone + there was music in the bg that i had fun singing along with

watched some rottmnt vids!! that was fun <33 cassandra jones my beloved <333

listened to eureka from the backyardigans on loop while playing spider solitaire?? vibes <3

oh oh like a week? ago then i mentioned a fic i was reading that i was like playing chicken with myself bc i didn't think i was going to finish it but i wanted to see how far i got before i stopped reading? yeah i got past the part i thought was going to make me stop and now i am just enjoying the fic alkdjf;sdkjfa;slf

OH ALSO a fic i loved updated and !!!!!!!!!!!! going to go reread that whole series 👀👀👀

speaking of fics then i read two (2) of my friends' fics today and left comments on them aslkjfs >:3

#i can't wait to play dnd tomorrow; i feel like i haven't really talked with my friends in a bit and i miss them #meri monologues #it's a good good good good good good morning

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yo-thats-lit · 1 year

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An intro post~

(Literally only the second day of starting my own blog but I was procrastinating loong enough)

Hello! Good morning/afternoon/night. You may call me Electron/Lex or any shortened form of that name. It's short for Life As An Electron™ patented by moi. You can also call me Hope. I tend to change my name a lot though so you just gotta be on the lookout. I won't be changing it so often though for everyone's sake XD

A deeper intro under the cut! (yay, I finally learned how to do this)

As for interests, well I really like MBTI. I like learning about cognitive functions and just general knowledge and addressing common stereotypes that people assume from my personality type to others. I used to have an account on 16personalities until I eventually deleted that account because it was messing with my mental health. This doesn't mean I stay away from it, even if I did take a short break from MBTI, I returned to learning about it some more. It's a fasinating topic, and I'd recommend y'all to check it out.

Why the heck do I make such long paragraphs? Damn, I might as well be in an interview.

I also have a deep fascination with license plates. No, I am not a hacker or a kidnapper or anything of the sort. I simply just like to look at the different states portrayed through it and have made some favorites (Arizona's looks awesome, Kentucky's literally looks like a cloud and it's the same shape as the state, and New Mexico's just sucks in terms of layout and color scheme).

The fandoms I'm in are MHA (though I have only watched 1 season and 1 episode of the next season but know plenty of concept spoilers) aaaaand, huh, that's it- It changes a lot though, this is just what I'm intreasted in for now. I also like Demon Slayer as well, and do understand some Genshin references though I've stopped playing the game.

Feel free to ask me some questions because I have no clue what y'all want to know. This is just what I could recall from the top of my head.

Now, I would like to clarify some things I've touched upon in my description. If you haven't read it yet, I suggest you read it, because it has an overview of some of the topics I'm talking (typing?) about here (and if you're offended by some of the things I've said, then suck it up. Nah, you can defiantly talk to me, but only if you are respectful).

I've mentioned that I will not be posting much, and while this was true (I was a lurk blog at first, then interacted with some blogs), I'm going to be posting a whole lot more. Mainly about random things or topics that spring into my head, stuff that's been bothering me, or otherwise low effort posts. Just stuff from daily life and shitty things like that (but there will be no extremely personal details. I would like to live a peaceful life far away from the CIA and the FBI/jk). I'll also be reblogging random stuff that I like or asks that people answered for me and things of that sort.

I am starting to open up and interact with people more so defiantly say hi if you spot me somewhere.

And one of the (few) last things. Yes, I have a kink. More specifically, a sneeze kink. So you might come across something that I've reblogged that you may be curious about but I'm clarifying it here. This blog, however, won't be a snz-centered blog and will not typically make my own posts about it, though you may see me dwell on it from time to a distant time. I am asexual as far as I could tell and maybe aro though I am not sure so you won't be seeing explicit NSFW kink related stuff over here, mainly because I myself am not comfortable indulging in that content. With that being said, this blog will be suitable for the general public and you can most defiantly reblog my content around, but make sure to ask for permission if I've reblogged content from other snz-centered blogs. They may not be comfortable with content going out of the community. So, yes, snz-community, I'm one of y'all, don't worryy XD

I FORGOT TO MENTION SOMETHING CRUCIAL. I am highly religious. I won't be revealing my religion though but maybe I will in the future. I'm just not looking for any backlash because my religious beliefs are at a minority. So, like I've mentioned, if you are respectful, then I'll reveal it.

I am a solid introvert and hardcore at that. I have social anxiety and general anxiety issues but I'm constantly working on it. I may come across as cold and or aloof but I'm trying not to be T-T

I'll try to stay consistent with my posts and whatnot, but I'm a busy person so it may be like a week till I update. If I get a lot of traction from people interacting with me (thank you ;D) then I'll try to pump out posts as often as I could. Also, feel free to send me requests because I have no idea what the hell I'm gonna be doing on this blog.

Welp, that's it for now. Whew, my fingers are tired XD Anyway, I hope this post will help you all gain more insight as to who I am. If you try to reach out to me, I will reply rather quickly because I'm almost always on this site. So, come forth, talk to me (I'm actually lonely and my aloofness is so not helping T-T), and I hope you enjoy my content.

Once on a blue mooooooooooon~

Oh yeah, one last thing. If you come across this post, can y'all reblog this around? I don't mean to be pushy but I'd like some help with launching this blog to the various different blogs around. Please and thanks. ;D

#well #that's over #a crappy intro #why is it so goddamn hard to talk about myself?#then again #when I do I always write paragraphs T-T #I gotta learn how to manage my writing #anyway #enjoy online strangers

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buraidragon · 3 years

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New Shit Resource Requirements

So as I have no life/have been waiting years for this update, within two days I've gathered the bps for Caliban, and three new unadvertised melee weapons. I have no idea how to Wiki, so i’ll just smack them here so y’all who know how to can fill in the data. Under spoilers, as is polite/a lot of words otherwise. And spoils names for a few things, but if you want to take a risk those are after the info on the Venato.

Caliban

Main BP-- Marketplace, 50k Credits. Resources: +25k Credits +Caliban Components +12 Orokin Cells

Caliban Neuroptics-- Narmer Bounties +15k Credits +3 Anomaly Shards +12 Narmer Isoplasts +10 Neural Sensors +20 Tralok Eyes

Caliban Chassis-- Narmer Bounties Resources: +15k Credits +3 Anomaly shards +16 Narmer Isoplasts +100 Hespazym Alloy +20 Mortus Horns Caliban Systems-- Narmer Bounties Resouces: +15k Credits +3 Anomaly Shards +12 Narmer Isoplasts +30 Breath of the Eidolons (Erra wtf were you smoking when you used this?) +30 Hexanon

Venato

BP--

Located in Dojo’s Tenno Lab.

Resources:

+20k Credits

+16 Narmer Isoplasts

+5 Anomaly Shards

+5 Exceptional Sentient Cores

+60 Iradite

Archon Amar’s Daggers, Nepheri

BP--

Narmer Bounties

Resources:

+20k Credits

+10 Narmer Isoplasts

+6 Tromyzon Entroplasma

+80 Fersteel Alloy

+2 Nitain Extract

Archon Boreal’s Trident, Korumm

BP--

Narmer bounties

Resources:

+20k Credits

+16 Narmer Isoplasts

+6 Radiant Ziodan

+60 Coprun Alloy

+3.2k Rubedo

Archon Nira’s Whip, Verdilac

BP--

Narmer Bounties Resources: +20k Credits +12 Narmer Isoplasts +20 Mortus Horns +10 Intact Sentient Cores +6 Star Amarast So, if you want to make everything listed above, you’ll need specific ammounts of the following: +150,000 Credits +14 Anomaly Shards +94 Narmer Isoplasts So Y’all? Better hit up those anomalies in Veiljack if you’ve spent all of your anomaly shards, and hope you don’t get all the bps from Narmer bounties before all the needed isoplasts. Also, each Caliban part is tied in the same cycle as one of the three Archon weapons. You’ll probably get doubles of one before the other as rng is a fickle mistress. That said, may Luck bless you with favorable rolls, in this instance Isoplasts dropping in groups of three one after the other. Have fun, Tenno! If nothing else, put on some classic music and grind in peace to the wonderful dissonance of high violence and soft flutes.

#Warframe #New War Technical Spoilers #So y'all haven't played don't look under the read more yet!#Actual warframe wiki editors feel free to use i'm gonna go hydrate myself as I've forgotten to drink like all day in single-minded #90% adhd hyperfocus pursuit of info #yeah.

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kookznoona · 3 years

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When He Thinks You're A Sasaeng But You're The Daughter Of HYBE's CEO||Jeon Jungkook FLUFF||Part 2

Genre: Idol!JK, CEO's Daughter AU

Word Count: 900

Description: Tooth-rottening FLUFF with Y/N's Overprotective CEO Father and bratty Jungkook

Summary: You've always had a mild crush on Jungkook, even though you've never had any conversations, you've always spotted him helping the staff all the time.

PS: Read Part 1 Here!

***************************************************

You and Jungkook have been getting closer day by day and have started to spend an enormous amount of time together

You can't quite describe it, he started to be a bit more 'protective' and more 'helpful'

Jungkook definitely considered you more than just a 'friend' and this is not based on assumptions.... He literally punched a guy who tried to bother you once

And you're having the best time of your life, spending time with the one you admire the most... Jeon Jungkook

After 1 Year

Jungkook has lately been getting onto your nerves randomly calling you 'little girl' or 'princess' at the office when y'all are alone, just to see you get flustered and wide eyed, and casually leaving the room as if nothing ever happened

...Truth and Dare is a Dangerous Game...

You hated the fact that his actions have such an adverse effect on you

He's damn hot and the posters you received didn't help fight the heat

Yes, it bothers you because it affected you a lot, getting your face painted red and heart thumping, but you knew better than to fight with a shark while not knowing to swim.

Although he behaves like a total dickhead trying to see you blush and hide, just to smirk right after, he never disrespected you

As much as you hate to admit it, you like him

You like him for the way he is, not giving a fuck about the world and dancing as he pleases

And how you melt every time your eyes meet his

But... What if he doesn't like you back...?

What if he just thought of you as an ordinary smart girl that he can bother every now and then and nothing more?

Or what if-

What if he's not allowed to date as per the contract?

Your Heart Stopped

"Miss Y/N?" The manager called out

"Y-yes?" You snapped out of it

"I've been looking for you, we need to confirm the list of stylists, I know you're extremely busy, but could you please tell me where Mr. Y/L/N is?"

"I'm not quite sure"

"Thank you ma'am, sorry for disturbing you" he says leaving the room

You say to yourself, "Maan! I really gotta know if the contra-" you stop in your tracks as you spot Jungkook entering the room

"Hello princess" You hear him say

"H-i" you say Blushing madly

"Aww, are you shy little one?"

"St-op ple-ase"

"Aww, you're so cute"

"Please!" You say hitting his arm

"fuck" you cuss under your breath

"Please Fuck? Baby you sure about that? I just enter the room wanting to ask my to-be-girlfriend if she wants to be my girlfriend and she wanna fuck already?"

You bury your face in your hands

...and then it hits you

"To-be-girlfriend...?" You ask and hide your face

"Yea, my to-be-girlfriend coz I haven't asked her out yet, but I don't even think I need to ask her that..."

"Why do you think so?" Your eyebrows crease

Jungkook reaches his hands in his pockets and opens his Gallery playing a video

A Video of you accidentally sleeping in your office chair and Sleep-talking

"Kwook- Koo- I wuv wuniworns wand wainwows bwut- I wuv wou mwore"

"you're adorable bunny" he says chuckling

And the video stops playing

You blush "This is so damn embarrassing! Delete the video!" You say Tryna snatch his phone

"Ofcourse not honey"

You whine at his words

"And when did this incident happen?"

"Almost a Year Ago... The day after I called your father ugly, I entered the office and I heard you speaking to me in your dream and I just had to record it because it was so fucking cute"

"So, yea, Technically you're already my girlfriend before we even spoke about it"

"ahem" your dad clears his throat

"Good Morning Mr. Y/L/N"

"Any reason you're here?" Your father asks

"I-uhm-"

"Yea dad, he said that the manager wanted to confirm the list of stylists with you so he came to give you the message" you promptly fill in for him

"Yes sir, that's exactly wh-"

"You- I remember You- you're the one that Called Y/N a sasaeng! Y/N did he bother you?"

"No dada"

"Okay... But You stay away from Y/N! I don't want nobody bothering my daughter!"

"Bu-" you try to protest

"I don't want you near her at all-"

"Dad, I'm fine, it was just a misunderstanding earlier, we've cleared things out now..."

"Hmm... Okay bu-"

"Dad, they also said that the list of the stylists has to be reviewed before 10 AM for immediate results or else we'll have to wait for more than two weeks"

"Oh no! It's 9:30! I gotta Rush! Take Care Pie!" He says and rushes

"You Fucking Lied Y/N didn't you?"

"Hell yeah"

"What if he finds out?"

"He won't know I lied, because he likes to show he plans everything 2 days in advance, so he'll never admit that it was last minute or something" you say

"Oh okay, hehehe"

"I hate Lying to dad, but I can't Jeopardize meeting you, Damn you Jeon! I lied to dad because of you!"

"So... um... Girlfriend, Will you be my girlfriend?"

****************************************************

A/N: Requested by @/bangtangirl67 on Instagram

∆ Don't Repost only Reblog

• Don't Forget to Like this Post for More

• Feel Free to Send Me a DM

• Stalk me on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/kookznoona/

Take Care~

#jungkook bts #jungkook #jungkook scenarios #kookznoona #jeon jungkook #jeon jungguk #jungkookie #jeon jungkook fluff #jungkook fic recs #jungkook fluff #request

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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TAE TELLS: JIKOOK

It's taken me days to get round to making this blog post- commenting on another Jikooker's analysis.

Now y'all don't need me to provide a tall list on all the reasons that this a bad bad idea for me. Lol.

Been there. Done that. Doesn't end too well.

Mi nar wan treble wif gudt piipel.

But I also don't want to shy away from the conversation; whether or not Tae is good at keeping Jikook's secret. Whether that is a tell. If it is, does that mean all the times he's 'exposed' Jikook were wrong analysis etc.

Let me start off by saying, I totally admire this content creator. I don't have a particular favorite Video creator- most of my go to YouTube jikook content creators are Spanish speaking content creators, Karmy and a few Iarmy- a lot of whom have disappeared off of the surface of the internet over the years.

These days I watch just about anyone that shows up on my recommendation or home feed. Used to leave comments and what not but I've refrained from that due to privacy issues and prefer to share my thoughts on my blog instead.

Haven't seen a lot of her analysis, but hands down agree with a lot of the analysis she's made in the few I've binge watched so far- thanks to y'all who recommended her to me.

I think for the most part she knows what the fuxk she is doing. She definitely knows what she is talking about in her videos and I like that. I admire that.

I don't disagree with anything I've seen so far on her channel. Especially her thoughts on Kook. Fearless Kook. Absolutely love those.

I think she could have taken time to flesh out her theory on this whole 'Tae is good at keeping Jikook's secret' bit cos it seems that's what causing the stir? I don't know.

'If Tae is good at keeping people's secrets then there is no way he could have exposed Jikook blah blah blah'

Sigh.

Tuktukkers will jump on anything to invalidate Jikook. Sigh. Sigh.

I can't put words in her mouth, but I don't think she was interpreting Jimin's words to mean that Tae is good at keeping others' secrets and so cannot 'expose' Jikook like we been saying in this part of stan land.

And if she did mean it like that then I'm afraid I'd have to humbly disagree.

My understanding of Jimin's assertion that Tae is good at keeping a straight face when it comes to others' secret is that, he meant Tae has a strong poker face and it's hard to tell when he is lying or telling the truth sometimes.

That's all Jimin was saying. In my opinion.

Which honestly, it's truth. Tae is such an actor. A talented one at that. I mean have you been watching Run episodes?! Ayayaya.

I won't play Russian roulette with him cos imma end up with bullets in my head.

Play Texas hold'em with him at your own risk.

I mean he is the king of blank expressions in BTS. Isn't that why RM describes him as 4D?

He's only what, honed that- should we call it skills, since debut! He's become a master at it. Add his impeccable acting skills to it and its kaboom.

His blank expressions to me sometimes seem like a coping mechanism, if you will. And often times, he deliberately induces it to mask his feelings- when someone says something he finds annoying or something he is uncomfortable with.

A typical example is when JK read 'Tae Kook' in the comments during their VLive and he pretended he didn't know what the fuxk JK was talking about- prompting JK to explain to him that that was their ship name yadda yadda. Insert skull head.

Now we all know HE KNOWS TAE KOOK.

I saw a lot of jokers running around teasing Tuktukkers with the whole "look, your bias don't know y'all ship exists bye'

Listen, I'd join in on the joke- nothing makes me happy than jokers pulling some tuktukker legs but just as long as we all know and agree that's not true.

They all know of their ships.

They've known since the beginning.

They know everything.

When he said get out of your imagination I don't think it was because he had no ideas what homegal was going on about on Weverse.

Tae has many tells. When he exchanges awkward looks with RM or Jimin when Jikook or JK does something outrageous that's a tell.

When he passive aggressively smirks after revealing a detail on the whereabouts of Jimin at 1am that's equally a tell.

The slight head tilt when he says Jk don't want Jimin to come that's equally a tell.

He is very observant.

He loves to observe Jikook when they are up in their shenanigans. In my opinion. So when he is quietly looking at Jikook, observing them with no expression on his face that's equally a tell.

JK is not the only one always watching JM.

I mean he was stood right behind Jimin when he and JK were taking turns staring at eachother while Joonie was busy being eloquent. Tae saw all of that but didn't react to it.

In the recent OT7 VLive when Jimin called Jk too big or something Tae was right behind them and as I pointed out in my analysis on that, he looked away almost as soon as JK turned to look at him- JK was conscious of Tae and he knew Tae was looking at them through the viewfinder.

Sometimes he feels compelled to call them out on it too like he did in the dynamite MV when he blurted out, let's not look in the cameras when JK and Jikook were about to do their weird eye fucking absolutely gay stuff that they be doing from time to time.

All these are tells. To me at least. And I think in her video she was simply pointing out yet another tell of Taes- his blank expressions around Jikook in certain moments.

Having a poker face is one thing, having a blank expression is another.

Like I said his poker face is deliberate. He turns that on in various situations ranging from mild to not so serious circumstances like keeping others from finding out he is a mafia in a game etc.

His blank expressions are often times involuntary. His resting face. Sometimes I don't even think he realises he's blanked out.

When he don't know what to do with himself he blanks out. It's similar to how JK intensely focuses on Jimin when he doesn't know what to do with himself on set or when the cameras are rolling.

When he isn't intensely focusing on Jimin he becomes fidgety or sometimes does some really weird expressions that have popularly become various memes under the heading Jungshook.

It's not just Tae. It's not just Jimin. They all have their tells and go to expressions when they don't know what to do with themselves on camera.

Tae has a strong poker face, he is a master of blank expressions, and he is notoriously one of the most passive aggressive members in BTS.

Any of these can be tells depending on the context and situation.

-As long as we are able to distinguish between these moments and expressions I suppose.

His expression when Jikook were narrating the rain fight for example would be a blank expression and not a poker face in my opinion- a poker face is a deliberate state of induced expressionless demeanor.

Yes he had a blank expression. But I don't think that that was deliberate. That's just his go to resting face when he is not active in a moment most times.

I found his comment, 'that was a long time ago' much more telling that he knew about the rain fight and that expression of embarrassment he had on later equally said that he knew and thought Jikook were being gay unprovoked.

But that is my thought process.

I gotta respect hers too. It's valid.

Him going blank dead silence when Jimin said he loved waking up to see JK's face was more of that 'awkward, can't believe JM just did that shook moments' he gets around Jikook from time to time when they do something very shocking and gay.

I'd be lying if I said I understood what she was driving at with that bit in her video but I don't totally disagree with that.

By her stating that, I don't think she implied the opposite of it. Nor did Jimin by his statement.

Tae has a good poker face don't necessarily mean he is good at keeping secrets. I think it is much more nuanced than that.

I mean he is good at keeping your secret until he misses his best friend and soulmate then it's 'JK don't want Jimin to come' 🤺🤺🤺

Sometimes I wish Jimin were a triplet so I can slipt him between Tae, JK and RM. Suga and Hobi don't mind sharing him with the others and it seems Jin only wants his mirror so... Lmho.

And yes, Tae does give Jikook away from time to time- blank face or not.

I hope this helps??

Signed,

GOLDY

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